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punkscowardschampions · 1 year ago

Text

Jali

Ali: [Private to Johnny, an appropriate amount of time after this drama which is probably nearing a week-ish because you’re young and you didn’t actually do it so you’re not giving him that much space lol]

Ali: Did you finish fixing the bike?

Johnny: More or less

Ali: You got the [a part he was going to have to go get after your fixing sesh]?

Johnny: Not as advertised, but I sourced another, like

Ali: So, is it possible for you to still take me?

Johnny: When is it you’re looking to go?

Ali: Whenever you’re free to, day wise

Ali: [tell him visiting hours because I am sure they exist]

Johnny: [tell her when works for you because idk what job you’ve got hun I’m not a gypsy boy] then

Ali: Perfect, thank you

Johnny: Be [tell her where to meet you cos obvs you aren’t gonna encourage her to come to the site or pick her up from her gaff where her fam could be cos they need to mind their business about this] in plenty good time, say [a time]

Ali: Sounds good 🙃

Ali: Are you like the foreman, you should be, you’re very efficient

Johnny: We’ve both somewhere to be and your brother’ll be waiting on you, so on me to get you there

Ali: You don’t have to be respectful, plenty aren’t

Johnny: Disrespecting your brother is same as disrespecting you, to my family, that’s how it works

Johnny: and neither you nor he have done nothing to earn it off me

Ali: It’s a good philosophy, similar to my own

Ali: just not used to it, especially when it comes to Joe lately

Johnny: I know, I’ve a good head on good shoulders

Ali: It feels like I’m being such a suck-up to agree but I have no current need to disagree so

Ali: do with that what you will

Johnny: Warm myself with it through this summer rain

Ali: but summer rain is the best, you can be out in it and enjoy it without risking the hypothermia

Johnny: You would say that, you’re out in it to enjoy the thing

Ali: Work ruins everything, I suppose

Ali: Do you like what you do?

Johnny: It’s steady enough, I like that about it

Johnny: work can be slow in coming, that’ll ruin more

Ali: all I have’s a paper round so it isn’t comparable

Ali: I thought perhaps you’d been busy recently

Johnny: You’re not to have that, compared to girls I know

Ali: Would make you an easy target for a serial killer type but any job with a route and set time of day does that, if you think about it

Ali: that is much more fun in the summer, rain or otherwise at least there’s light

Johnny: Am I to think of you?

Ali: If I get murdered?

Ali: It would be quite insulting if you didn’t spare me a single thought, yes

Johnny: Sure I’d want to crash 1 of your weddings than your funerals

Ali: 1 of, how many will I be having?

Johnny: Your lot, not your own, you know

Ali: Ohh, yeah that does make more sense

Ali: you don’t know about my whole resurrection skills yet, the funeral was also plural

Johnny: Do I want to know?

Ali: Sure your man Jesus did it, how can it be wrong? 😁

Johnny: You’re not my man Jesus nor his mammy even

Ali: 💔

Ali: Have you met anyone that’s getting hitched yet, or are we just crashing [a local venue that is the place people go to get married etc]?

Johnny: You tell me, if you’ve the sight or other blasphemous skills to be claiming for yourself, will we?

Ali: 🔮

Ali: Only if the crowd is spilling out onto the street, can’t be showing up to a quiet 50 person guestlist affair

Johnny: Yous have weddings where only 50 people come?

Ali: 😂 I know, can you believe it?

Johnny: Seriously, this a wind up or no?

Ali: Deadly, boy

Ali: Some just go to the registry office with themselves and 2 witnesses, no party, nothing

Johnny: I’ve nothing to say of that, I can’t work it out for why yous people are the way you are

Ali: Well I would never do that, not for any of my weddings

Ali: some people have shit luck, no family, no friends, just that person, I guess?

Johnny: You said you weren’t marrying last we said anything of it

Ali: but now you’ve given me the idea of having lots of elaborate ones

Ali: I’ll invite you, you won’t have to crash

Johnny: You are a girl, the bike only tried to have me thinking different, but there it is in you

Ali: You already knew I liked parties

Ali: and dressing up

Johnny: Yeah, true enough

Ali: I think you like me more when you don’t think of me as a girl

Johnny: I don’t think I like what you’re saying of me there, it’d have me disowned to prefer lads

Ali: That is not what I meant

Johnny: And it’s not true I’m one of them

Ali: I don’t think you’re gay

Johnny: You think you’re not girl enough for me, which is true

Ali: No, I think you can see being friends with me when you let yourself forget I am one, what that should mean

Johnny: Us being what we are isn’t something I should let happen at all

Ali: No one else cares

Ali: if anyone did, just point out how un-girl I am, if it wasn’t as obvious to them as it is you

Johnny: I care

Ali: Just tell me why

Johnny: It’s not right

Ali: You’re allowed to be friends with who you want, aren’t you

Ali: as long as I don’t disrespect you and your family and you don’t mine

Johnny: You’ve too many friends already and how you behave with ‘em don’t make you an un-girl, it just makes you a girl who’s a state

Ali: You wouldn’t have anything to care about or not let happen if you disliked me all that much

Johnny: I dislike how you act, in a way I can’t be putting aside to like you yourself

Ali: If I acted how you want a girl to act, you wouldn’t know me

Johnny: I shouldn’t know you, you shouldn’t be mixing with us how you are

Ali: Well I apologize but the others are happy to be my friend

Johnny: Too many is what I already said, yeah

Ali: It’s you who can’t envision a wedding with only 50 guests, there’s no such thing as too many friends

Johnny: Maybe we use the word different from each other

Ali: There’s levels to it

Ali: Not everyone is my closest confidant

Johnny: Don’t worry yourself on us needing to find common ground here

Ali: Heaven forbid

Johnny: You can be friendly as you like with the others, none are listening to my warnings on the matter, so

Ali: I know I can

Ali: you can keep trying to warn them likewise

Johnny: You’re girl enough you can’t tell me what to do

Ali: Unlike you, I wasn’t trying to

Ali: that’s not how I talk to people, friends or otherwise

Johnny: There’s your warning not to try to

Ali: Why would I want to control you?

Johnny: What you want don’t matter, other than seeing your brother, which we’re done with each other after it is

Ali: We could be done with each other now, you didn’t have to say yes

Ali: I don’t know why you would if you think I’m so awful

Johnny: I’ve said it, I’ll go on and follow through for doing it

Ali: Seriously, don’t trouble yourself

Johnny: It’s no trouble

Ali: That’s just not true so

Johnny: It’s true enough

Ali: I don’t need you to do a favour for me because you feel sorry for me

Johnny: I don’t feel sorry for you

Ali: What else would you call it?

Johnny: It isn’t about you no more, it’s about saying I’d do something and being good for the doing of it, that’s what a man does

Ali: I don’t owe you a chance to prove what a decent man you are, not if it comes at the expense of letting you insult me, which isn’t what a good person does, end of

Johnny: Be there when I said, Ali, there’s your chance to see your brother

Ali: I’ve got the time and place

Johnny: Yeah

Ali: I hope you only get rained on in the worst ways

Johnny: Sure you could use your powers to have it be rotten out, or lightning to strike, from what I’ve heard talk of

Ali: If you believed it, you’d be nicer

Johnny: I’m not scared of no girl, whatever it is she’s done

Ali: Proving how stupid prejudice always is…

Johnny: Watch what names you call me

Ali: I didn’t call you anything

Ali: but the idea of not being scared of someone who’s allegedly tried to kill someone, just because of what is or isn’t in their pants

Johnny: You called me stupid, but you wouldn’t be able to hurt me without getting hurt yourself, ‘cause you are a little girl, it don’t matter what else you’re trying to be

Ali: I don’t have any desire to hurt you, I didn’t say I did at any point

Ali: but if you’re going to be so Mr Darcy, you may as well get soaked

Johnny: You know what you said, and I know I’ve no reason to be scared of you

Ali: Am I a friend of the world or the big bad, I don’t see how or why I would try to be both

Johnny: You don’t know who you are, it’s how you’re the state you are

Ali: Well why don’t you stick around and keep telling me, isn’t that what a man would do, save the little girl?

Johnny: Gorja girls like you can’t be told or saved

Ali: Ah, there we go then

Johnny: Ah stop with thinking you can be everything to everyone

Ali: What else would I do?

Johnny: See, you can’t be told

Ali: You can’t tell me to stop and give me no alternative

Johnny: You can’t be more than the 1 girl but there you go giving it a lash still

Ali: And don’t you feel like you have to be something, someone, that isn’t always feasible?

Johnny: We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you

Ali: We could be talking about both of us

Johnny: There’s no us

Johnny: I’m not the same as you

Ali: No but you put pressure on yourself to be who the others need, who you think you’re meant to be, no?

Ali: Why can’t I

Johnny: You encourage the fuck ups, I don’t

Ali: Or you want someone to tell you you’re only one lad

Johnny: What have you said to Carly about Moses? What have you said to Ronan for following you ‘round?

Johnny: you don’t do nothing to help nothing ‘cause you want ‘em all to be your mate & like you

Ali: Wow, thanks for that devastating read of my failings as a person

Ali: but you telling Moses and Ronan to stop what they’re doing, hasn’t and isn’t going to get them to stop, so wouldn’t you be a lot happier if you realised you can only control your own actions?

Johnny: Grow yourself up

Ali: I’m a child, and so are you

Johnny: Yous get to be children ‘til you’ve had your own, and after, look at [Carly’s mum], you’re all messes

Ali: Sure must be fun being perfect

Johnny: I’m not that, I’m just not bothering myself if people don’t like me how you are, needing everyone to feel the sun shines out of you

Ali: You think you’re doing something right if everyone dislikes you, because no one but you wants to do the right thing

Johnny: Moses needed a smack and say you cared about Carly at all you’d give her a smack too before the stupid girl gets herself in proper trouble batting her eyelashes at the lads can’t get her out of

Ali: People get themselves into trouble, no matter how much you care, you can care ‘til it kills you too

Johnny: We’ve all our graves to go to, better caring puts you in than not bothering yourself and being eaten up for it

Ali: I care

Johnny: You care to make yourself look good, to be cared about, you’ll never do nothing that’d make you unpopular

Ali: Fuck you

Ali: I’m there when people like you have washed your hands

Johnny: You’re there for what, a party?

Ali: Whatever they need

Ali: do you think it’s going to be a party on the psych ward?

Johnny: Maybe, none of it’s real

Ali: What the fuck is ‘real’?

Johnny: You would say that, you don’t know life no more than your brother does, you’ve a paper round and your own dealers

Ali: Who knew drug dealers exploited child labour like the rest of the world, really think they’d have more morals

Ali: Some boys I go to school with hand out fun drugs for kids, it’s not like I’m giving the cartel their Sunday papers

Johnny: I’m saying you don’t take nothing serious, so there you’ve only backed me

Johnny: hippies and punks don’t exist now, you know

Ali: Why do you want to fit in so badly

Johnny: Why do you have to stand out? You need everyone’s attention so badly, it’s a disgrace, like

Ali: No one else is as bothered to have to give it to me as you

Johnny: Aren’t you shamed of yourself?

Ali: For being interesting, trying to be someone everyone can like

Johnny: For being as needy as you are for it

Ali: Shame for what you need just makes you suppress it until you can’t, then you really act out

Johnny: And you really acting out looks like what?

Ali: I don’t know, I get what I need

Johnny: Do you?

Ali: I’m not scared to ask for it, to openly want it

Johnny: You’ve everything you want then, is it?

Ali: Of course not

Johnny: No, you’ve not, for all your asking

Ali: So, why bother asking, right?

Ali: Don’t you, of all people, think that we should get to carve our own path, make our own way, not just take what we’re given and shut up about it

Johnny: I do make my own way, you don’t shut up but you’re standing still surrounded by all your friends, maybe it’s you can’t get past ‘em how many there are

Ali: You say family are important, tradition

Ali: Why should I want to be alone, isolated?

Johnny: She’s not your family, mine isn’t, go the fuck home, Ali

Ali: She hasn’t got one, as you’ve pointed out many a time

Johnny: She’s got her ma

Ali: and we can choose each other, to have more than what we were born into

Ali: It shouldn’t be any of your concern, if yours is so fucking solid

Johnny: They’d choose to pack up if you weren’t here all the time

Ali: Yeah, you want them to go the fuck home like it exists

Ali: the site politics aren’t my business, if they really have to go, then someone more senior than you can let them know, can’t they

Johnny: They can have a house, it’s not their traditions

Ali: Look, I actually get it

Ali: search me why the fuck [Carly’s mum] settled there but she’s not exactly reasonable

Ali: but why do you have to punish Carly for it, like she chose any of it?

Johnny: She has chose to make a holy show of herself

Ali: Like you said, they aren’t travellers, they shouldn’t live on a traveller site

Ali: she doesn’t have to comply with your way of living, but why can’t someone make [Carly’s mum] see she should go?

Johnny: She don’t listen to reason, you said it before I have, but when we get pushed past our reason, something bad will happen

Ali: Carly told me what you said

Johnny: I’ve not talked to her

Ali: About torching their caravan

Johnny: Sure, I’ve not talked to her

Ali: Oh

Ali: then someone else has threatened her, the morning after, she told me

Johnny: It’s good she’s been warned, whoever it were by

Ali: How can you say that’s good

Johnny: No warning and it’s done without, she’s dead when she could’ve been off

Ali: That’s a threat, not a warning

Johnny: Some people feel the need to make threats when their warnings go unheard and she’s had ‘em before now

Ali: That’s all I need to know

Johnny: There then, you know it all

Ali: I’ll get her to see, she can stay with me until her mum finds a place

Johnny: It’s best that way, nobody wants to see her hurt

Ali: You can’t really claim that when you condone burning her out

Johnny: As long as they don’t stay they won’t be

Ali: I can’t force them but I’ll try

Ali: now I know you’re serious

Johnny: It’s only words for now, no actions

Ali: You don’t get to try and soften it, it is what it is and that’s a threat

Ali: I’ll make sure she knows that, she thinks the rest of them care about her, for fuck’s sake

Johnny: She’s some dope that girl

Ali: She’s innocent

Johnny: No, she’s a whore

Ali: and all your cousins and brothers will use her until they decide her reputation is too bad and she has to go

Johnny: She made her bed by lying with Moses in his

Ali: She likes him!

Ali: If he doesn’t like her that makes him the one in the wrong, if we’re throwing those stones

Johnny: She made herself available to be used, that’s her fault

Ali: That doesn’t absolve them of any of their wrongdoings and you know that

Ali: blame a temptress all you want but you still get tempted

Johnny: I’m not tempted

Ali: It’s normal, people want to have sex

Johnny: You called it wrongdoings, I didn’t

Ali: You called her a whore, I was appealing to your piety

Ali: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her wanting them or them wanting her, you do

Johnny: It’s not the act, it’s the trouble it’ll lead to

Johnny: you know she’s not to be trusted not to cause it

Ali: Don’t all teenagers have relationship drama?

Ali: If it wasn’t so about the blame game, half of it would be resolved and it would just be feelings getting hurt, that’s life

Johnny: Their lives have a proper path and it’s not getting banged up by Carly

Ali: She won’t do that, she didn’t even tell me about the threat of being burned in her bed like it was serious, that isn’t her

Johnny: She’s a worst state than any gorja girl I’ve met before, I don’t know what she’ll do

Ali: She’s messed up, yeah

Ali: but she’s sweet and you shouldn’t be scared of her, she’s scared of you

Johnny: She should be scared of me, her carrying on

Ali: Find her inbox if you insist on this carry on

Ali: I’m not scared of you

Johnny: You don’t need to be scared of me

Ali: Why not, I’m just like her

Johnny: You’re not as bad as her

Ali: That’s so insulting

Johnny: Why?

Ali: Because I try SO hard to be unique and fascinating, obviously

Johnny: Only insulting if you want to be as bad as her

Ali: You may as well continue insulting me, it’s become expected

Johnny: You wouldn’t know what to do with the opposite

Ali: Says you

Johnny: You said you don’t expect it

Ali: Yeah, all you do is slag me off

Johnny: Isn’t all I do

Ali: To my face, anyway

Johnny: Come on, I let you help with the bike

Ali: Let me help… meaning I helped you, that’s me

Johnny: I didn’t tell you you couldn’t

Ali: Which is handy because I can

Johnny: Jesus, you helped, I admit it

Ali: Pulling 🦷🦷

Ali: I didn’t ask you to admit it in front of anyone, did I

Johnny: Not yet

Ali: Contrary to your perception of me, I don’t need everyone to know I can hold a 🔧 and not just look pretty doing it

Ali: Besides, I had metalwork with both of them so they already know

Johnny: You would take metalwork

Ali: And I have my own bike, not that you asked

Ali: well, we all share it but none of the others care about it anymore and the baby is too little

Johnny: Go on, you can’t tell me you’ve a bike and nothing about it

Ali: [tell him about this dirtbike you have like we did as children because your father is my father like that so you would probably have had a couple but literally who else is wanting it now so you just kept the one]

Johnny: [idk but nerd out asking her about it, like what the tea of it is and what needs fixing etc etc because you clearly are into this stuff too]

Ali: [god bless y’all nerds but me and my boo are not going to pretend to know what we’re talking about but you both do and can lol]

Johnny: [just here offering to swag it up for her with different parts and hacks in ways I know nothing about because he loves her]

Ali: When can I bring it over?

Johnny: When my bike’s done, there’s still some things I need to finish before [whenever he’s taking her to visit Joseph]

Ali: You can ask for help

Ali: won’t even make a thing out of it

Johnny: You’re to have her off site not yourself be on

Ali: I’m not just leaving my baby with you though, I want to help

Johnny: Every other girl is after a surprise but you

Ali: Sorry I called you predictable and now you’re after showing me you aren’t

Johnny: When did you call me predictable?

Ali: Your insults being expected, it’s sort of the same thing

Johnny: I’ll put it aside

Ali: Big of you

Johnny: We’d only be back to insulting each other, predictably

Ali: Isn’t it more fun when you don’t see them coming

Johnny: Is it now?

Johnny: Telling of you, would it not be more fun to not see the changes to your bike coming?

Ali: I’m not sure I trust you like that

Johnny: It’s no threat to cut your brakes

Ali: You would say that if you were trying to have me slam into a lamppost

Johnny: I don’t want it, you hurt

Ali: You don’t want to see anyone hurt, I know

Johnny: I’ll steal it to do what needs to be done, you know

Ali: 😲

Ali: You don’t even know where I live

Johnny: Ro knows so I know, I’ll get it out of him before you’ve yourself from bed in the night to see your bike stole

Ali: I’ll tell him to 🤐 or else

Johnny: I’ll be at him to tell me or else, how confident are you?

Ali: 🤔

Ali: nah, I’d say I’d feel safe putting a bet on it

Johnny: How will you feel him taking a smack for you?

Ali: Is that really the only way to achieve your goal? 🙄

Johnny: You can quit being a messer and say yeah to being surprised by the bike, it’s unstolen, he’s unsmacked

Ali: You liked fixing it with me

Johnny: You’ll like what I do to it

Ali: Maybe

Johnny: Maybe I know the whereabouts of a [really old/rare bike or car] we can work on together, but you have to say yeah to this, or sure, you’re never touching it

Ali: So you were holding out the big guns on me

Ali: 🔫 okay

Johnny: Say it for proper, on you go

Ali: Tell me when you’ve finished with yours and I’ll drop mine

Johnny: I’ll get it, you’ll strand yourself from leaving it here and no girl should be walking in the night

Ali: You make me laugh sometimes

Johnny: Laugh but it’s what’s to happen

Ali: like, I could come in the day, even if you’re not there, or you could give me a lift home, there are so many other options but sure, alright

Johnny: Options you thought up yourself ‘cause you don’t want me to have mine

Ali: No, you can come over

Ali: I could invite you in, wouldn’t that be fun

Johnny: Christ, I can think up for myself how that’d be

Ali: 😁😁😁

Ali: Don’t act like you don’t want to stay for tea

Johnny: You’ve a daddy unlike her, do you want me to get in trouble?

Ali: What could you get in trouble for, fixing [whatever is wrong with our bike]?

Johnny: Ah give over

Ali: Cute

Johnny: Don’t start none of your sugar with me, I’ve told you it don’t work

Ali: so I can tell my daddy that, can’t I

Johnny: Best you do

Ali: Can I say funny if I can’t say cute?

Johnny: Why are you after saying either?

Ali: Best you stop acting it if you can’t hack it

Johnny: Laying it on with a trowel now

Ali: Oh, please, that’s nothing

Johnny: To you it might not be, girl

Ali: Oh, please x2

Ali: You’ll have heard worse/better loads of times over

Johnny: Well maybe it’s something to me what you say

Ali: Is it?

Johnny: You’re not careful with what you do

Ali: so what I say must be the same

Johnny: Is it?

Ali: No

Ali: but I know that’s what you believe

Johnny: I don’t know, Ali

Ali: I talk too much, yeah, everyone agrees

Johnny: Maybe, but you’re a proper enough girl for that, all of ‘em talk and talk

Ali: How many sisters do you have?

Johnny: [He’s saying 4 but he’s doing it by naming them, if you know what I mean, which I won’t commit us to because soz gals none of you are relevant cos you’re either already married or not allowed to associate with cali anyway]

Ali: And are you the oldest or just the oldest boy?

Johnny: [again namedrop the sister/sisters that’s older because I vibe at least one of them is if not a couple of, why not, you’re only like 16-18 yourself sir so it’s feasible]

Ali: They’ve already had their weddings then

Johnny: They’re onto having children now

Ali: so you’re an uncle

Ali: I don’t know if any of my siblings will have children… 🤔

Johnny: [tell her about how many nieces or nephews you have at this point and what they are called and how old they are, a casual rundown how you do, but again I don’t need to commit us cos not relevant and I doubt there’s that many of them yet, you’ve your whole lives ladies, calm down, lol]

Ali: They must be the ones I’ve seen playing out, they’re cute

Johnny: Why are we talking about this?

Ali: I’m a tourist, aren’t I

Johnny: And the babies aren’t part of the travelling circus you’re here to see

Ali: It was a joke but okay, change the subject

Johnny: It’s a touchy subject, the next generation of us, nobody can say what the future’ll be like

Ali: If there’s one thing you have, it’s strong tradition

Johnny: But there’s less room for it, or for any of us

Ali: You’ve lasted thousands of years

Johnny: Things are changing, to houses, marrying gorjas, or not marrying at all and girls working

Ali: Evolving doesn’t necessarily mean destroying, forgetting

Johnny: ‘Cept when it does

Ali: That’s to be worked out

Ali: and you can still keep all the traditions you want personally

Johnny: It’s not personal choice, it’s who we are

Ali: If you can live within that, some people can’t stay in the family they were born into or the community

Johnny: For doing wrong, you can’t make it out like it’s the right thing

Ali: There are reasons that are valid

Johnny: You would say that, you’ve only your own rules

Ali: I have personal knowing that sometimes it’s the right thing to do

Johnny: You don’t have personal knowing of my community, or of being born into a family that weren’t already a mess though, do you?

Ali: It’d be a worse mess if my da hadn’t left his at 15

Ali: but no, I don’t claim to know your community beyond my outsider perspective

Johnny: We’re too different not to be outsiders to each other

Ali: We’re both sat here in a heavily Christian country that holds lots of the same family values you do

Ali: no, I don’t find your culture that wildly different, sorry, like

Johnny: You don’t hold them

Ali: Have you ever feckin’ asked?

Ali: You don’t know what I value, you assume based on seeing me at some parties, ah how much of the pub comes there right after Church on sunday?

Johnny: Not my fault your behaviour speaks for you, like

Ali: I’m not aiming for sainthood

Ali: and judge me all you like, your opinion of me has nothing to do with who I actually am

Johnny: Who you are isn’t what I need to worry myself about

Ali: As if I asked you to

Johnny: I’ve some hard graft I’m busy with

Ali: Alright, see you around then

Johnny: When you’re there at [wherever they are meeting for this Joseph visit, bold assumption she’s still gonna turn up when you’ve been this much of a dick but] I’ll see you

Ali: A lots been said since then

Johnny: Not you don’t want to go no more

Ali: Of course I do but this is about your words

Johnny: I won’t be saying nothing then, I’ll have my mind on the getting you there

Ali: And you have nothing to say to me anyway, right

Johnny: Nothing you’re really after hearing

Ali: S’funny you think you have the first clue but no

Ali: sure that’s right regardless

Johnny: We don’t have to be friends for me to take you

Ali: You’ve said

Ali: if you’re so hung up on keeping your word then fine, we’ll get it over with and I’ll make more permanent arrangements somehow

Johnny: We can have it as an arrangement between us

Ali: but what’s in that for you?

Johnny: Keeps the bike running, sometimes I’m too busy to go off and it’s sat about longer than’s good for it

Ali: Fuck it then, alright

Johnny: [the day of this visit] then, every or every other

Ali: Are you able to wait for me, because I don’t know how long he’ll even want me there

Johnny: I’ll wait, yeah

Ali: Thanks

Ali: don’t worry I won’t be crying or anything else awkward for you

Johnny: If crying’s what you need to do, don’t trouble yourself about me, I’ve seen it before

Ali: I heard, you have sisters

Ali: I’m not going to

Johnny: I know to look away before it’s awkward for you, so

Ali: Awkward for who?

Johnny: Neither of us, you’ll be on the back, I’ll not see you

Ali: Crying isn’t something that’s really done much in my house, just the baby

Johnny: You’re not in your house, and you’re supposed to be a free spirit or whatever, no?

Ali: I can think of more entertaining ways to go against the status quo

Johnny: Betting you can, but the psych ward’s probably not going to be fun and games

Ali: It’s not about me, it’s about how he’s finding it

Johnny: You’ll still find there’s a impact on you too

Ali: I’ve heard and seen it before, s’okay

Johnny: Go careful, will you?

Ali: How? I don’t have a choice, he’s still my brother

Johnny: I know, but you’re only a little girl

Johnny: and I don’t mean it in a putting the wind up you or an insulting way for this time

Ali: You’re not that much older than me

Johnny: I am

Ali: not old enough to call me that

Johnny: I could be a year older and call you that, it’s about more than birthdays had

Ali: and I’m not little, trust me

Johnny: Size of you is, compared to me, and sure to everyone else in that place

Ali: I wouldn’t ask you to come in, if you think I will

Johnny: I’m just asking you to think, keep yourself safe

Ali: I am, they’re just sick people, I’ll be safe

Ali: you’ll be right outside

Johnny: I don’t want it, you hurt, that’s true of on site or off

Ali: I believe you, for this time

Johnny: Yeah though, I’ll be outside

Ali: Maybe thinking about that does make me feel better

Johnny: You’re to keep it in mind then

Ali: I will

Ali: and I won’t rush to replace you, unfortunately for you

Johnny: It won’t be too bad for me

Ali: Get to keep the bike ticking over, yeah

Johnny: It’s important, you know

Ali: I know

Johnny: I’d come in, if you ever need to ask

Ali: I reckon that would be more awkward than you coming in for tea but

Ali: I’ll keep that in mind too

Johnny: Offer’s on the table, don’t matter if you never take me up on it or you do

Ali: I know how it matters, what does

Ali: I owe you, whether you like it or not

Johnny: There’ll be times I like it and times I don’t

Ali: I’ll work out how to make it actually pay back and not burden you

Ali: cash is off the table, leaves a lot I can try

Johnny: Don’t you be filling my mind with the likes of what you could get yourself up to

Ali: but please

Ali: My own head’s too full

Johnny: I’ve got work, should be where my head is

Ali: Isn’t work just what you’re occupying your hands with if you’re doing it right?

Ali: Not once am I thinking about my school work whilst I’m doing it, your head is your own

Johnny: Maybe I’m not old enough to let my hands do it all themselves how my da and uncle can

Ali: You’re an apprentice still, that makes sense

Johnny: No, what that word means to yous lot’s lads as messers isn’t what I am, but there’s things to be learning all the time ‘til you’re old as they are

Ali: You’re sharp, it’ll stick

Johnny: It has stuck when you’re not ‘round distracting us

Ali: I’ve come nowhere near in ages

Johnny: You’re here now, talking too much

Ali: I’m being restrained, have you know

Ali: but fine, lock me in your thoughts ‘til you get off the clock

Johnny: Rain’s stopped, was that to do with you?

Ali: Possibly

Johnny: You don’t want me piss wet through in all the worse ways no more?

Ali: I do but I’m thinking of you now and what you want so

Johnny: Are you now?

Ali: I told you, you’re going to like it or I’m not doing it right

Johnny: How do you reckon you know what I like?

Ali: I can feel it, when I’m getting hotter or colder

Johnny: What’s it feel like?

Ali: That’s a secret, for now

Johnny: You’re not playing very fair with that one

Ali: Neither are you, asking questions you know the answers to

Johnny: You think I’ve the answers

Ali: I think you know how this feels

Johnny: Maybe

Ali: maybe

Johnny: But for now we’re keeping secrets, yeah?

Ali: I can be honest, ask me again

Johnny: I’m not part of the games you play, told you before

Ali: I’m not playing

Johnny: You are

Ali: No

Johnny: I can’t do this with you

Ali: You could

Ali: just say you don’t want to

Johnny: Enough, Ali

Ali: It isn’t

Johnny: You take everything too far

Ali: Fine, go, I’m sorry

Johnny: [do go boy because we all know you’re losing your mind over this girl so you gotta]

Ali: [it’s very mutual and now you’re here DYING with nothing to do about it, god bless]

Johnny: [Winnie like invite Ronan over again and I say NO, stop it evil bear, but I do hope it’s not ages until they are going to see Joe cos they’ll both be DYING until then]

Ali: [the temptation but we cannot because we are just not that bitch to that extent, good luck functioning though because truly]

Johnny: [I also hope it’s not a really long bike ride because it’ll be so awks, god I’d die]

Ali: [god knows where Joe has been sent I have no clue but either way this girl is NOT okay]

Johnny: [soz you gotta lowkey hold onto him so you don’t fall off, that won’t be helping either of y’all with the tension]

Ali: [the forced intimacy]

Johnny: [hit me with your coming out post visit vibe and mood because he is gonna wait like he said however long she’s in there, how did it go?]

Ali: [me like hmm, how strange are we going to be today, Joseph? Lord lmao, he’s probably going to be kinda buzzing you’ve disobeyed mcvickers to come see him, so we can probably say it isn’t terrible but he’d definitely be as drugged up as he could be so that wouldn’t be nice to see so, a mixed bag but not like omg horrific, I feel?]

Johnny: [I definitely think that tracks for the first visit, not just saying that because 1. I’d feel awful if he kissed and left her when she’s already distraught and 2. Because if it was that awful she probably wouldn’t wanna go back and visit Joe again right away, it does feel real]

Ali: [mhmm, that’s my thinking, like you’re lowkey like hm does he need to be that zombified but that isn’t enough to have you coming out screaming crying and thus make that more of a betrayal than needs be]

Johnny: [this boy just looking at her as she comes out, trying to gauge the mood because clearly she isn’t crying but she said she wouldn’t so, it’s the way he hasn’t said a damn word for this entire bike ride and still isn’t for me, if I was Ali I’d be so !! frustrated not just in a sexy way]

Ali: [like I grant you we can’t have an easy chat whilst riding said bike because it’s loud and you’d need to shout but at this point hun, it’s a THING ™ so, looking at you with the ? like yes, what do you want to say because we are neither risking mentioning how things were left because we were in the ‘wrong’ nor jumping straight into telling you Joe’s business because that’s a lot and also makes this seem as transactional as we do not believe it nor want it to be]

Johnny: [when you try and look her over/up and down in a sort of casual so are you okay way like you do when peeps reappear after something but whatever she’s wearing for this visit and however awks the vibe she looks great because always and he can’t help LINGERING over LOOKING at her in full, cos we all know she just jumped straight on the bike to get there so this is the first moment and chance for that to be a thing]

Ali: [just nodding in a slightly petty way like if you’re not talking neither am I boy but we’re not holding out for dramatic effect because it’s serious and we don’t need to fake being on the edge here lol, but then he’s more than just looking at you and it’s LOOKING so then you’re also blushing which says as much without saying anything]

Johnny: [likewise running his hand through the long messy hair this boy has for every single role he’s ever played because he’s as on the edge as she is and lbr more so, going towards the bike wherever it has been left, closer to it than he was because he was deffo basically at the door of this psych ward before, as if that will encourage her to get on and they can just drive back again in silence, no no sir, no no]

Ali: [doing that kind of disbelieving laugh that is basically paired with the verbalisation of no no ‘I can’t do this’ taking a step forward but only to then stop with your arms out like no, again, we can’t ‘not if you aren’t going to say anything’]

Johnny: [stopping himself when she does, again running his hand through his hair so it’s essentially fallen out of the little ponytail it was in with the force of ‘We’ve talked enough’ you definitely have not and the absolute finality with which he’s saying that isn’t convincing either of you it’s true ‘too much’ with more of an !! exasperated and almost frantic edge to it because the boy is not okay, making a move to tie his hair immediately back up cos we can’t be still when we’re this tense]

Ali: [try not to watch this boy mess with his hair but it’s also distractingly mezmerising so we are, sorry, again we can look away embarrassed about it to show we too are trying here, folding your arms and hug them against you so you aren’t gesturing so exasperatedly still ‘I took it too far for you’ that for you because you wanted to say a whole lot more but do actually care about people’s boundaries thank you so we can admit that ‘I’m not going to…’ gesturing off because of the things you could say you aren’t going to do and how voicing that isn’t going to help rn]

Johnny: [‘leave it alone now’ in a way that sounds the same as when he told Moses to leave Carly alone and Ronan with Ali, because we need her to stop and shut up rn immediately but haven’t yet been pushed to the point of shutting her up by kissing her or anything ‘quit your acting up and get on the bike’ again, his tone making me uncomfortable because it’s too close to giving orders like before but also too close to how those other lads talk to Carly in a way I don’t appreciate, sir, thank you]

Ali: [‘because that’s working’ like hello, not addressing this is having us going ‘round in circles with this ‘you keep changing your mind’ in that frustrated tone but we’re still trying to talk and get you to see how confusing this for us, obviously, we are not getting on this bike]

Johnny: [‘god, girl, if you don’t get on this fucking bike’ he’s swearing at her, he’s threatening her, he’s almost shouting at her because !!, it’s all popping off ‘don’t you know I’m not meant to have you in mind at all?’ getting more in her grill about this because of the aforementioned !! and the fact he needs her to see how confusing this is for him like please understand]

Ali: [‘I’m not going anywhere with you like this’ matter of fact enough but our tone is very calm down without saying those words because never the move and we’d feel like a hypocrite for it when we’re also !! over this ‘but you do and you can’t have me on the back of you every week without thinking about me at all, don’t do it if that’s so’ ducking our head so we can make eye contact with you and we’re almost touching our forehead against yours but not fully making that physical contact]

Johnny: [running a hand through his hair again when she basically tells him to calm down as if that alone will do it, only to end up holding the sides of his head in his hands in a very literal sense because of how full of her his head is, just for a moment though so it’s back up by the time she ducks hers for the eye contact and almost forehead touch ‘I can’t have you and that’s the end of it’ almost eerily quiet in contrast to how loud he was before]

Ali: [just prising his hands away from his head really slowly by taking them in your own, using the manoeuvre to put only the tiniest amount more space between you after your almost forehead press, dropping his hands gently at his side even though for the briefest moment before you let go, you consider putting them on your waist, obviously you do not ‘that’s- okay’ a very definite pause meaning it isn’t the full sentence we intended it to be because it doesn’t feel okay even if we were being good and doing everything ‘right’ we’d tell you it was okay, instead we’re simply acknowledging you said it without actually commenting on it because we can’t come to the phone right now]

Johnny: [when it obvs doesn’t feel okay to him either so he’s back in her grill again before either of y’all are even fully aware of how close he is, which is to the point that his dramatic and frustrated af big long breath is basically at her and so near to being in her mouth that Winnie is screaming crying perfect storm ‘it isn’t’ an exact echo of what she said when he said enough before in their convo, unaware or aware af though he is or isn’t that he’s used her exact words here, like they are just so on the same page with their frustration that it could be accidental but it could also be targeted and deliberate like hey remember this hun, me too, the fuck]

Ali: [neither of you is complaining, almost trying not to acknowledge how close you are like that means he won’t notice either and thus move back when he does, closing your eyes and holding your own breath at this because you can’t trust yourself to do anything close to sane about it and you don’t know what he wants you to say or do because you’ve tried several approaches and you’re not used to being this wrong every time, seemingly ‘you aren’t part of the game’ as a promise because seriously]

Johnny: [‘What am I?’ genuinely because if not, what else do you think this can be, gal, you can’t be his gf or anything of the sort, it’s all a mess and he’s mad at the situation, her and himself]

Ali: [‘other’ like you’re putting him into a category because you can’t and there’s no better way to put that across ‘some shit is just different and that’s not ‘cos I want it to be’ because this is not ideal for us, if you were any of the others you would just hookup with/casually date us]

Johnny: [‘you weren’t supposed to be this different yourself’ cos rn he’d love nothing more than for her to be Carly so he can write her off/hate her or like the other non-traveller girls he clearly hasn’t been very interested in]

Ali: [opening your eyes again because you can’t keep them shut forever, doing a half shrug and the self-deprecating little laugh like heard that one before energy because what else can we say to that ‘I don’t want it to be you’ which sounds harsh but is said too softly to be so because we mean it, we’re not like the girl who thinks they’re so slay they need to get the one boy they can’t have, we didn’t mean to make this a thing when there is literally a much more sensible option in Ronan right there who isn’t so damn conflicted]

Johnny: [pushing her back barely at all in the scheme of things but it would feel like a giant gap suddenly and a harsh action despite how softly he’s doing it to match the vibe of what she said, as if it’s that simple to let her go and free you both from this ‘it isn’t going to be me’ me here like sure Jan because you’re literally looking at her and her mouth like you wanna kiss her rn as the words are being said because you do]

Ali: [not even purposefully doing the thing where you then rock forward from the pressure being exerted on pushing you back, so you’re truly back where you were, doing the tiniest smile as you catch his eye and take said step back yourself like okay, okay ‘if you’d just forgo your morals and hurt me, it could be’ like it’s a joke but it’s a little too real rn]

Johnny: [he’s gotta close his own eyes for a sec when she takes her step back because he’s fighting a war with himself not to immediately pull her back already but then she says what she says and his eyes open and flash with such anger at all this and it is the perfect kiss her hard before he goes moment because shut up that isn’t funny and I hate that you’d make a joke like this and I hate you and I hate myself that I’m doing this in response or ever etc etc, it can’t be overstated the way he’s actually launching himself at her for this and there is a violence to it because the desperation and the !! that’s there but he wishes was not, nbd not at all casually the most aggressive makeout any character has ever]

Ali: [me like try not to hit the deck guys because the way that will catch us completely off guard because feeling like you would never do anything at this point obviously, basically supporting yourself and keeping vaguely upright by holding onto the sides of his face like he did earlier because you’ll at least take him down with you, making some kind of unholy noise because of the absolute shock of it all but also because of something being done with this tension, however briefly it lasts]

Johnny: [I feel like at some point y’all have to fall against this bike and it has to hit the deck and end up with some kind of superficial damage that won’t stop him riding off when he needs to and he won’t fully notice til later because that’s poetic cinema, baby, y’all so carried away you don’t even care his precious bike you worked on together has fallen over]

Ali: [mhmm, it has to be done, also you’re outside of a psychward, there are probably many a mentally unstable teenager watching you guys in this car park, including your own brother Alison, the way a setting has never been less relevant in its life, we don’t even remember where we are or why we were here at this point, babe, just got to hold our own in this kiss fight]

Johnny: [me just having a big yikes moment thinking about how if Joe sees it he’ll be so into it, don’t think about that Junie, we’re not getting into his incest and inappropriateness rn, I’m just going to think about how this should be a quick kiss this boy regrets and snaps himself out of immediately but instead it’s going on SO long, we’re really going at it]

Ali: [Joseph, this isn’t about you, you’re being a menace and will continue to be but for now you are limited by being locked away lol, not having our moment ruined until it is by this boy leaving, because can’t pretend we’re not needing how aggressive it is either by now, like soz you have just given us everything to keep thinking about you, was not your intention but here we are, on the ground by this point I’m sure looking like you might be fully brawling]

Johnny: [Sadly all good things must come to an end and whether that’s because of some kind of way she touches him/he touches her or a sound either of you make or a move he ends up making to take something off her/touch her under it, something triggers that this amazingness has to stop and he simply will just get on this bike and drive away leaving her the most in shock anyone has ever been]

Ali: [can you imagine, the shock and awe, I can’t; also we’re on 30 pages so should probably post but just to say she would message you because we aren’t going to not but if you think he wouldn’t reply, I could try and do that on this page?]

Johnny: [I can’t imagine, I would simply pass away, I like to think he’d circle back later like wtf did I do to see if she was still there but he’d have obvs got so far away in his own shock before he did that and then had to turn back that she’s long gone by the time, because he does have morals and he wouldn’t actually wanna just leave her outside a psych ward, as for replying though, I don’t think he would, like lowkey he probably wouldn’t even let himself read it]

Ali: [Okay let me try, obviously waiting ‘til she is home so he should also be because not trying to get you to crash when it already feels vaguely possible]

Ali: I got home fine

Ali: Figured you’d want to know, still

Ali: and I hope you did but I won’t stop by and check

Ali: or ask, or say anything to anyone so

Ali: Why did you go?

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huggybug · 3 years ago

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I don’t know if you are taking requests, but could you write something with twin sister of quinn and trevor, he has liked you for a while, older female, always see each other at the lake house, obvs that he has a crush/in love with you for years, he doesn’t try to hid it, maybe you give him a chance this year in mich? xx

when i first read this, all i could think of was does your mother know from mamma mia.. so yeah that’s where i was kinda going lol

“You’re going to send that poor boy into an early grave” You laughed when your mom shook her head at Trevor who was completely ignoring Jack and instead staring at you.

“I’m not even doing anything!” Trevor had developed a crush on you over the past few months. Whenever you came home from school, he was always around. He was a nice kid and it was obvious that he liked you but the problem was that he was way too young. Two years wasn’t insane but when he’s only 16 and you were a first year college student, it was huge.

“Y/n can you please leave?” Jack asked, coming into the kitchen. You look at your mom who looks just as confused as you.

“Excuse me?” You ask.

Jack sighs, “Trevor is like obsessed with you but we have a project to finish and we can’t do that if you’re here for him to look at” You and your mom burst out laughing which made Jack cross his arms over his chest. He was already frustrated enough that they had to do this stupid project and now his best friend was too busy staring at you for them to get any work done.

“C’mon sweetie, let’s go to the mall for a bit” You nod, grabbing your phone and following your mom to the front door.

You pause at the living room, looking in to see Trevor and Alex talking about something. “Good luck with the project boys!” You wave before turning away quickly, not wanting Jack to yell at you for distracting Trevor even more.

You were already gone by the time your younger brother got back to find Trevor with flushed cheeks and Alex laughing at him. “Dude, it’s never going to happen get over it”

Every time you’ve seen Trevor since, it has gone fairly similar. As he got older, he tried talking to you more and after a few summers at the lake house, you two became friends but his crush never went away. With your new friendship, Trevor was more confident around you and instead of blushing every time you spoke to him, he started to really lay into the flirting. You thought it was funny and you really liked how much it bothered Jack.

All their friends gave Trevor shit for it but he never relented. The flirting was never too much, it was usually easy enough to laugh it off but Trevor was on a mission this summer.

“Anyone want a drink?” Trevor offered, coming out of the house with a few cans in his hand. You shielded your eyes as you sat up in your lounge chair, twisting around to look at Trevor. He looked good this summer, definitely much older and... stronger than last year.

“Are you even old enough to have alcohol?” You teased as you held out a hand which he quickly placed a truly into.

Trevor scoffed, “I’m 21 Y/n” He said it like you didn’t know. As if you weren’t aware that he was the same age as your little brother.

“So old enough to drink but not to date? Something’s not adding up” Cole laughed and Trevor glared at him. That was another thing, Trevor hadn’t had a girlfriend for years. You weren’t sure why exactly, all you knew was that the boys loved to tease him for ‘waiting around for you’. Personally, you didn’t believe he had stayed ‘loyal’ to you but you never said anything, it wasn’t like you cared.

“Isn’t the whole ‘NHL player thing’ kind of an easy way to find a girlfriend?” Luke asked and you looked at him, kicking him discreetly because that’s not a very nice thing to say.

“How’s your girlfriend Hughesy?” Trevor fired back and Luke pulled a face.

“Not in the NHL yet”

“Yeah and when you are you’ll get all the girls right?” You ask your youngest brother who rolls his eyes at you.

“Woah is Y/n... defending Trev?” Alex asked and you were internally fighting the blush that was threatening to appear.

“My time has finally come boys!” Trevor drops down onto your chair and you laugh.

“You wish Z”

...

“Come on, just give me a shot” Trevor’s arm was draped over your shoulders and you laughed lightly. You were talking to Quinn about something when Trevor drunkenly made his way over, effectively interrupting the conversation.

“How long has this been going on?” Quinn asks.

“Five years” Trevor says emphatically, “Just one date babe, it’s all I want”

“I’d never live it down if I went out with you Trev” Jack would never let you hear the end of it. Even if it was just one date, you went out with Trevor and that was apparently hilarious for him to even imagine.

Trevor pouted, “It’d totally be worth it”

...

As the days went on and more and more started to be spent with Trevor, you found yourself coming around to the idea of possibly entertaining a date with him.

The things you used to find silly like him fighting to be on your team for beer pong, was now cute. When he sat next to you at dinner instead of Cole, it was sweet. Over the summer, Trevor Zegras grew on you but you weren’t going to cave just to parade it around your friends at the lake house… maybe you’d just have to take a trip to Anaheim this fall.

y/nhughes

liked by colecaufield, quinnhughes_ and others

y/nhughes happy all star break😁

_alexturcotte oh my god he finally did it

trevorzegras secrets out..

y/nhughes it was a peaceful 3 months :(

lhughes_06 3 MONTHS??

jackhughes i can’t even be mad… i’m in shock

mattboldy he did the impossible

trevorzegras thanks for the support

patrickmoynihan_ i knew you could do it bud!

quinnhughes_ is this a joke??

trevorzegras

liked by jamie.drysdale, jackhughes and others

trevorzegras how you get the girl

y/nhughes 💗

jackhughes how you get the girl… in 5 years

trevorzegras working on my long game

colecaufield i still can’t believe this

mbeniers10 i’m impressed by the dedication

trevorzegras hard work pays off baby

#lake house day!#trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras blurb #anaheim ducks

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fairycosmos · 3 years ago

Note

ms chloe fairycosmos i feel weird sending this ask but also perhaps i need some closure. from this parasocial relationship (lol). i’m a follower of urs who has sent you quite a few asks on and off anon, not a mutual, but we’ve talked enough that you call me by my name. anyway, i think the time has come that i need to unfollow you, and it’s making me really sad. which is wild, because we aren’t even mutuals, this is truly a parasocial relationship. which i thought you might find ironic, considering your disdain for celebrity worship and all that. ever since your sisters passing, i’ve been here, witnessing your grief, and it’s been heartbreaking, and i’ve just longed to do anything to bring you the relief that you so deserve. the posts you make/reblog of the genre of the world being cruel and awful were sad to see, but i just sort of read it through a lens of “hey, that’s what chloe is going through”. but this past winter, i experienced some new acute trauma that has made being alive just an impossibly difficult task, and seeing that type of everything is horrible post just sends me spiralling now; i have no resistance to it. i know on principle you don’t tag negative posts and just kindly request that people unfollow you if they don’t like it, so that’s what’s up, bye, i guess. but it’s hard to me, because i’m so enamoured by you. which is weird, bc parasocial. but also, i just feel for you so deeply. i think you are a genuinely smart person, and incredibly empathetic and kind. you’ve been dealt a shit hand in life, so you haven’t been given opportunities where those skills could be recognized in a way that is valued in our culture, and that’s awful and unfair. i care about you and your well-being. i hope you don’t stop your work of looking for relief, that thread that keeps you going every day, that has kept your reaching out to therapists and trying despite everything to tap into that relief that i know you know is out there. i dont just want to hit you with some “it gets better” platitudes, which to me erase the seriousness of your grief or the immense impacts of socioeconomic inequalities. you have been going through hell, and i guess i just wanted to say i think you’re beautiful and you deserve rest and joy and relief and i hope it finds it’s way to you someday, the sooner the better. i hope this message wasn’t like, too weird. -🌾

such a thoughtful, perceptive and honestly beautiful message immm ❤️ hm. could definitely cry in a good, bittersweet way. i've read it a few times over since you sent it and just let it settle. also no worries at all - this isn't weird! and you know, while obviously everything on here is parasocial interaction to some degree, i don't think that always negates or delegitimizes the connections shared! this really really means a lot to me, it's basically sweeter and more genuine than any of the conversation's i've experienced in real life lmfao like, ever. also i want to say that it's totally fine, and also that i'm really sorry. for whatever happened in the winter that has made things so hard. i also don't want to overwhelm you with "it gets better" platitudes lmfao but i am wishing you so so much healing, even if the process is painstakingly slow. you deserve the world. and if removing triggering content from ur online space even so much as nudges you in that direction, then of course i encourage it. i want you to do anything and everything that you need to do to feel ok and to create manageable, easy days for yourself as you cope and come to terms and grow. everything warm and kind that you see in me is a reflection of you.

i would be happy to tag stuff for you honestly, we could make up a specific tag for you if you like - but i'm also aware that my memory isn't great and some posts may end up slipping through the cracks which could obv potentially send you spiralling and i really don't want that either. if unfollowing is ultimately what you feel you need to do, then that's completely understandable! anyway, thank you so so much ❤️ for sticking with me and believing in me and seeing me so positively even if it is just through my dumb blog lol. i think the idea of our positive traits not being fully realized and recognized due to our circumstances is such an interesting point of view, i've never framed it like that in my head before. i can't really find the words to say exactly what i want to say, other than that is is literally ppl like you who make me think there is a sliver of hope in life, or even any sort of bearable aspect to it at all. i hope all of the energy that you are projecting onto me finds its way back to you, helps you breathe easier when you really need to. you know i know the relief is out there, and so the same must be true for you. i have no doubt that you are going to find it as well, little by little. let's just both keep reaching out for it for now! sending you so much love and gratitude always x

#anon #agh #no i did cry

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gayfrenchtoast · 4 years ago

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Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

#decendants #decendants 3 #mal #carlos de vil #jay #harry hook #uma

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bthump · 3 years ago

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Any hcs on how would the relationship between Griffith and Guts evolve if they grew old together ? Like, in an no eclipse au, how could you imagine their personalities change as they age/mature and how do you think it could impact their dynamic ? (Also, I’m sure they would both look really good if we could see them grow older, like obv Griffith would always look beautiful and ethereal at any age of his life but guts would also wear the « badass war veteran » look better than anybody else)

Yk when it comes to Guts looking like a badass war veteran, I like the idea of him losing his arm some other way in a no-eclipse AU and getting a metal prosthetic (maybe without a cannon in this version lol). But yeah I think they'd both age pretty well, because it's all headcanon and I say so.

When it comes to personality, assuming everything went perfectly and Griff got his kingdom and Guts stayed as a general or whatever and they're lowkey fucking and everything worked out, I think Griff would definitely mellow out a lot.

I talk a lot about him being torn between his dream and Guts, being unable to acknowledge that he's in love with Guts because he can't admit his dream isn't everything to him/Guts poses a risk to it, needing to pursue his dream to assuage feelings of guilt, yk all that fun dramatic stuff that leads to conflict, but I think even with that interpretation of Griffith, in a chill AU he could probably just subconsciously sort all that shit out with himself while ruling a kingdom and being in a relationship with Guts. If everything works out then there's no real conflict to deal with and he'd get used to having his cake and eating it too.

He'd open up to Guts more about his feelings and presumably in this AU Guts doesn't see him as a godly figure but just as a fellow human and would therefore engage with him instead of deflecting. Guts' love and admiration and reassurance would start to help him deal with his self-loathing, and with Guts at his side he could maybe find a good balance w/ ruling a kingdom but not needing to continue to pursue further and further goals just to have something to strive towards to feel like he's justifying himself.

Like okay in an AU where Griff got the kingdom but lost Guts, I assume he'd end up caught in a cycle of needing to keep expanding his goals further because he can't just stop pursuing a goal once he's achieved it, because stopping would be implicitly saying that he has now justified his mountain of corpses, yk? So he'd start building an empire, or he'd dive into trying to change Midland into his utopian dream by whatever means possible, never feeling like he's done enough. (I also assume this is lowkey NGriff's MO tbh)

But with Guts at his side starting to replace the dream as his reassurance that he's not a monster, he'd be much chiller. More able to handle political set-backs while trying to get his medieval socialist agenda going or whatever, more able to sit back and say ok I've done enough for now, less likely to push too far too quick and end up assassinated, etc.

Guts, for his part, would hang up his damn sword. That's what I want for him in a happy griffguts AU. He wouldn't have to immediately, and he wouldn't, a good decade or 15 years of swinging his sword in service to his friends and Griffith (as opposed to as an outlet for his negative feelings) works fine for him, but like, his proof that he's grown into a mature and well-rounded adult would be retiring and settling down without misgivings.

imo Guts at his most emotionally healthy sees his sword as a tool rather than an extension of himself, and a positive relationship with Griffith would lead to him seeing his sword and his job of killing people in a much healthier light - swinging his sword to protect his comrades and earn a living rather than because there's nothing else for him and it helps him stop thinking. And I think Guts contentedly retiring early and spending the rest of his days learning to paint or something would be his best possible ending. Maybe he gets a career ending injury, like Gambino did, but being in a much more emotionally healthy place, he's able to roll with it and be happy with Griff and his friends and do something else with his time.

As for their dynamic, lol honestly I think they'd be pretty chill in a happy AU. griffguts is a ship with a lot of potential for interesting conflicts and power dynamics and dysfunction, but like, not in the happily ever after timeline imo. The thing that really defines griffguts for me is that the story p much shows and tells us how genuinely perfect they are for each other, and then rips that potential away because all their issues ruined it. But if their issues didn't fuck it all up and they navigated the rocks and made it through, they'd be so perfect for each other that it would be boring lol.

But to be fair they could still have some good conflict on the way to their happily ever after. Like it's easy for me to see Charlotte being an issue for Guts that needs to be resolved somehow (Griffith proving he only cares about Guts, maybe doing something that risks his marriage for him?), they both potentially have major issues with sex that need to be navigated, Griffith is conscious of his position as a leader and possibly needs to resolve that with his relationship with Guts, the whole secret relationship thing, etc.

But once they're old, they'd be boring. I can imagine them just being content in each others' presence, pretty emotionally open and honest with each other, interested in what each other has to say, occasional fond married couple bickering, boring verse vanilla sex (I don't actually think either of them are particularly kinky by default, other than mb them getting a little thrill out of Guts fucking Griff hard enough that he feels it during his next meeting with nobles or tea party with Charlotte), little glances and smiles in public and lots of physical affection in private, etc etc.

Anyway yeah, that's what I got on the subject. Thanks for asking! And lmk your thoughts too if you want.

#ask #b #Anonymous #headcanons #canon divergence #ship: griffguts #character thoughts #i call their happily ever after 'boring' but despite that i'd totally be into reading fluffy fic for them #griffguts is good for fluff imo because it's got that built-in contrast where we know how wrong things can go #it adds some nice depth yk?

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pacifymebby · 2 years ago

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Hey girlie I’m once again back for advice. I’m trying to gauge what is an appropriate amount of interaction with my guy and it’s like so hard. I don’t want to annoy him or be overbearing. Cause like he’s obviously got a job and shit to do and a life outside of seeing me and talking to me. And considering we’ve only just started seeing each other I don’t want to be overly clingy. But also seeing as this is my first time I guess “dating” (idk what you would call it we haven’t called it anything yet) I’m like wow this is all so new and exciting and I’m feeling so small and needy :(. I feel so pathetic just waiting around for it to be the weekend again so I can see him again. How do you deal with feeling lonely or needy when you can’t see B? I just don’t know if I feel comfortable saying to him that I miss him or I miss kissing him or something. - age gap crush anon ❤️

Hey I'm sorry my replies have been a wee bit slow I've had work and been like overwhelmed by life haha. Also B left mine yesterday morning and I just got so depressed because (convenient for this ask) I missed him haha.

I think like, message back and forth and don't feel too weird about the occasional double message. And again just remember that all these new love giddy feelings you're getting, he's getting them too. Like men do experience the same dopamine rush that we do, they just don't express it the same way we do. Know that if you're missing him he's probably missing you too.

Something I noticed with B is that he didn't start to express his feelings of missing me until I admitted that I missed him and didn't like not getting to see him.

And like you can totally make a joke of it too, I make self deprecating "lol I'm sorry I'm so needy" jokes all the time haha.

Idk though, I wouldn't worry too much about coming across as overbearing or whatever, I think as well like, adults don't do the whole "I have to leave it an hour before I reply to them or they will think I'm too keen" thing, they just reply to eachother when they have time idk. Like I message B way more than he messages me, and I'll double and sometimes triple message all the time because I know he's not ignoring me, he's just been busy.

I don't feel like this is actually solid easy to follow advice so sorry about that, I kinda have to go off vibes when I'm sending him messages, and sometimes he will take like 24 hours to two days to reply to me, but like when he does I can tell he obvs doesn't think I'm being too needy or too much.

And omg unfortunately in terms of coping with missing him I don't even know, you may have noticed from my tumblr posts but when I don't get to see B for a few days I spiral hahaha.

No idk, I try to just motivate myself with focusing on when I'll next see him, or just finding tasks that I need to do to distract myself like writing. I watch pride and prejudice and lost in translation a lot bc they are my comfort films and they give me like that childish cuddly feeling.

Also me and B phone in the week between seeing eachother.

But for real, just distractions. Just work out what's best going to usefully occupy your mind and try to force yourself to be distracted. But also, like lean into the missing him and yearning becayse it's part of the joy of that beginning stsge tbh. Like let your mind wander and daydream about him, and remember the cute things he's said to you/done for you, like reimagine all the time u have spent together so far.

That's what I do, especially when I'm like, struggling to sleep without B.

Anyway I hope this helps and definitely just remember he's missing u too, he isn't going to think you're insane for missing him ❤️❤️

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gallickingun · 5 years ago

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hello!! i came over from the lilhemmo fam and wanted to ask if you were planning on writing for bnha?? if so, could i request something about baku?? i am in love with your writing and him, so it's the perfect mashup! thank you in advance!!

a/n: i’m slowly making my way through the show, so i can’t promise i’ll deliver on their characters very well! but yes, i’d love to branch out from dbz :) hopefully this does ‘suki justice!!

warnings; swearing (obv), blood, battle, etc. if you watch the show, you should be good lol. if it needs saying, everthing is 18+ even if there’s nothing inappropriate going on lol. just to be safe.

also, grabbed the prompts that are bolded from THIS LIST!

“All right you fuckin’ extras, now listen up! I-hey!”

“We’re not letting you just run in and bash their heads in, ‘Suki. That hasn’t worked any of the times you’ve suggested it.”

He’s growling and setting off explosions in his gloves, but you step in front of him and start instructing the others. The heat radiating off of him from behind you is excruciating, but you know you’ll just have to deal with him once everyone else has disbanded.

“You piss me the hell off.”

“Yeah, and?”

Bakugo rips his gloved hands through his hair, stomping on the ground, “You’re lucky I don’t blow your ass to hell right here!”

“It’s just a training exercise,” you step forward so you’re closer to him, only the bulky material of his gauntlets coming between you. “You really should learn to lighten up, ‘Suki.”

Something in him falters at the name and you can’t help but notice it. However, a millisecond later his expression has hardened and his eyes are like crystalline amber. You touch his wrist, “You’re our most important weapon, and you know that. Having you charge in first doesn’t do us any good.”

“Damn you,” he mutters, shaking his head as he stands to his full height, spine erect. Bakugo licks his lips and you watch as his chest heaves, “I hate it when you make sense.”

You allow yourself a faint smile but it’s gone as soon as an explosion bursts off in the distance. With one look at him, you know the training exercise has started. The two of you bolt forward, joining the others.

It doesn’t last very long. Even though you’re all side kicks at your current agency, you’ve got your own strengths and abilities that you’ve all learned to hone in on and perfect. Even Bakugo has since tampered down his ultra-destructive tendencies, although he’d never admit it out loud.

“Well, shit, you guys aren’t as terrible as you were yesterday,” Bakugo looms over a training robot, the only thing remaining is cinders. He kicks the ash into the air and looks up to where a group of sidekicks have gathered, “Seems like training with the champ is rubbing off on ya.”

The others look at you, your knuckles torn with use and chest heaving, and it burns something much more than nitroglycerin in his body. You lick your lips and smear the blood from your cheek, “Good job, guys. Go grab a bite to eat.”

You are the last left in the locker room after all of the other heroes have maneuvered their way to the agency’s cafeteria. You try your hardest to hide your injuries from them, waiting until they’re all gone to remove your costume. You wince as the chest plate gives way to a plethora of bruises littered over your skin, turning it all shades of green and purple. Your knuckles haven’t healed, the insides of your gloves sticking to the bloody scabs hidden underneath.

The doorway wooshes and you hear the familiar heavy steps echo in the locker room, “For fuck’s sake, ‘Suki, can I not get a moment without you bombarding me?”

You’re able to hide the wince that the intense tone draws out of you by turning your head so he’s only able to see the back of you. You swallow and lick your lips, a heavy breath forcing your chest up and down.

“I’m sick of you takin’ all the damn spotlight,” Bakugo spits on the ground as he approaches you. He reaches for your shoulder to turn you around to face him, “Listen here, I’m the number one, and I’ll be the one who orders around all those idiots, not you!”

You wonder if now is the right time to let out your secret, to tell him exactly what you’ve been orchestrating for the past few weeks. You chew on your lip, nudging your boots off. If he’s this close, he’s going to figure out why you’re not fighting back sooner rather than later.

An apprehensive breath pauses your voice in your lungs, but you push past the anxiety crushing your chest and tilt your head just enough that you can look him out of the corner of your eye, “Well, you’re in luck, then, ‘Suki.”

He pauses, hand frozen on your shoulder blade.

You smile but it’s ironic, “I’m headed to a new agency. You can have this whole class of sidekicks to yourself now. You can kick all their asses.”

Bakugo blinks, and the thing he says next is confusing, “What the hell? You’re just-leaving?”

You push your shoes out of the way and stand to your feet, left in only your underclothes. Your torso is bare for the most part, the bright bruises on display for him to see. You cross your arms so your palms rest on your biceps, the crimson painted on your knuckles easy to make out even in the dim lighting of the locker room.

“I asked for a transfer when I realized our personalities were going to clash too much,” you shrug, licking your lips. You swallow, “I don’t want to get in your way, ‘Suki. The last thing I’d want to do is piss you off for the rest of our lives. I figured it’s what’s best for the both of us.”

Bakugo’s brows furrow as he takes in your body, the black paint around his eyes making his irises even more stark as his eyes widen. He takes a confused step backward from you, his body finally catching up with his mind. The way his gaze passes over you, taking in each of your injuries, he’s stuck in place.

The way you make him feel in this moment only fuels his rage. He’s sweating from the face, his gauntlets no doubt collecting an advanced amount of his nitroglycerin to dispose of later.

“So you just get to fuck off because I piss you off?” Bakugo’s jaw is clenched, the thin muscles quivering under the stress. “Doesn’t sound very hero of you.”

“We’ve both got a lot of potential, ‘Suki.” You shrug, “There’s no point in stunting both of us.”

He’s growling again and if you weren’t in so much pain, you’d let it stir you into an argument. His palms turn to fists at his sides and his gloves squeak under the pressure, “Is this supposed to be you telling me that we’re evenly matched? Cause we’re not!”

You roll your eyes, “Can you turn your ego off for seven seconds to listen to me?! I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”

“Maybe you’re what’s best for me!” Bakugo is shouting now, eyes strained as he leans forward. “You’re the only half-decent hero at this place. Sparring with you is the only part of my training that might make me better.”

You tilt your head and feel the bruise blooming on your jaw twinge. You’ll definitely have to see a healer after this. Your lower lip shakes, “Bakugo, I-”

“Shut up,” he grunts, tapping your shin with his boots, “I don’t need your sympathy.”

He’s turned a little softer on you, you think. The last thing you wanted was to leave the agency. Everything that he’s said, you’ve thought before. One of the best ways that you can become better in combat is to battle, and Bakugo doesn’t hold back on you. He gives you his all, and in turn, it improves your strategy and strength. You’re not sure you’ve ever had a rival - no, a partner - who pushes you to go beyond your limits.

Bakugo spins on his heels and starts to walk out of the locker room, leaving you with your thoughts. Just as the door opens, he cocks his head and looks you in the eyes.

“Oh, and don’t ever call me Bakugo again.”

You narrow your eyes at him, confused by the statement.

He chuckles at your simple mindedness, “You’re the only one allowed to call me ‘Suki. Don’t take it for granted.”

Before you can retort something smart, the locker room door swings shut.

a/n: i hope you guys liked it! i didn’t want to get too mushy on you on my first go around with bakugo lol.

taglist (message me to be added!): @kamehamethot @queensynderella @lady-bakuhoe

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #bakugou x you #my writing

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tinysylveon · 4 years ago

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s'cuse me while i complain about the rwby fandom for a bit, and why i p much have refused to fully engage in it since the near beginning and even now. i'm putting this in a read more bc i actually have sanity to put mountain long paragraphs of text under read mores. :^)

those shippers in the rwby fandom really irritate me, because they seem to only pay attention to the shipping and get really angry at the writers for not making their ship "canon" or "interact in a meaningful way". sometimes i'm glad meme-based content creators keep their personal opinions to themselves, because i saw someone say they're "deeply disappointed in the current volume for not providing whiterose content", and honestly being so. and don't even get me STARTED on those fairgame shippers. way to come out as transphobic, basically. harassing a damn trans person like that, saying its all their fault your ship never got water. d e e p s i g h

no, the crwby is not, nor ever entitled to, giving you your ship. you know what actually matters in rwby? the plot. the characters themselves. if you enjoy ships? epic. just don't... harass people. don't go overboard. don't let that ship lead you to despise the show, the creators, or anyone relating to it.

however much i despise only paying attention to the ships, i still do think it's childish and stupid to put your ship hate in the ship tag you're hating. i know you want attention, but there are far healthier ways to do that than purposefully pissing people off by posting "yang/blake is fucking stupid and so are the shippers" or something in the designated tag. yike!!!

shipping is fun, but it's not everything. please exercise common sense, self control, and maturity. i know it's hard, but make an attempt.

sure, you can say it's "horribly/badly written" all damn day, but imo, i still think the writing is ok, because i could see foreshadowing even in the very first volume. now, i've tried my best to find some semblance (lol pun) of information that monty planned a good chunk of rwby, or at least had some plot points written out til the end, but all i can find is "he only planned out to volume/season 5", "volume/season 3", and then apparently "volume/season 10". again, this may mean actual scripts and more, OR just plot points, like a lot of us writers do (ive got a beginning, middle, and end for my story rn, but i only have a bit for the points past what ive already written. fun fun, but i digress. anyways.). so that's... completely all up in the air. what i'm saying is, from what we've gotten past three, and even five, i've enjoyed it a ton! i enjoyed rewatching it! i caught all kinds of small things and foreshadowing and i've enjoyed it a lot. call me easily amused or impressed by "horrible writing" (which... that's all honestly based on opinion at this point.), but fuck it. love this shit.

i can see why people are irritated with shippers. i can definitely see why others have granted a name for the peope who hate the show but still follow it JUST to make steven universe-esque critical posts about it call it the "hatedom" (which obv has been happening before steven's verse but hell it feels and looks so much like it. ya'll.. it's not. that. deep. sometimes.). the rwby fandom is so damn messy and i can see why i've been literally avoiding it for years and just happily watching the show.

this entire thing is def why i've been keeping myself from engaging in it and/or even making any content/side fan accounts for it. it's just... so immaturely messy. a whole mess!!!! a whole mess.

if you want to argue with me: don't. i will ignore you. you're literally part of the problem. if you hate these opinions so much, bro, just block me! it's super easy! a few taps/clicks, and you never have to see me again. wild, i know. i can do the same to you. epic.

have a rad day.

#opinions ahead srry abt tht #rwby #rwby fandom

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angeltrapz · 3 years ago

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SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

#saw #eric #adam #william #mallick #long post #loved LOVED this ask!!! got me thinkin!!#also I think I might. write smth fr polycule + William/Mallick bc now I'm thinking abt them #ty again adam s4w beloved mutual!! <3 #asks #also update I think I'm gonna. actually start tht masterpost tomorrow lol I!!! crashed hard th other night oops #+ wanted 2 mention I did reference yr answer 2 my Mallick/Eric/Adam ask also!! what w Mallick pacing n Eric taking his hand n all!!

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