#even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’
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whateveriwant · 2 days ago
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Annoying Things the 141 Do
Price
Never cleans the sink well after he shaves. Every time you go in the bathroom after he’s trimmed his beard, it’s like walking into a crime scene of a hamster massacre
Always manages to load the dishwasher wrong (because, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, John)
Asks you to wait for him to get home so you can watch your shows together, but then as soon as you start the first episode, he falls asleep beside you
Smokes his cigars inside sometimes. I don’t care that you sprayed air freshener afterwards, sir. Now the whole house smells like spring meadow and shit!
Is incapable of closing the door behind himself?? At least, that appears to be the case since he’s always leaving your door wide open even though you ask him to shut it when he goes
Doesn’t like throwing things out because he’ll ��find a use for it one day”. Even if that day ever does come, I think he has a better chance of finding Atlantis than finding that scrap piece of wood he saved four years ago
Ghost
Turns the TV on and then just… walks away??? And if you try to change it to something else, he grumbles “I was watchin’ tha’” when he comes back
Drinks milk/juice/etc. straight out of the carton. Mr Simon “Patient Zero” Riley might not see the problem with this, but I think the rest of us would agree that is diabolical behavior
Leaves his wet towel on the floor after he showers even though the towel rack is right? there?
Hates asking for help even when he has no clue what he’s doing. Like, sure, I get wanting to fix things yourself. However, I’d rather spend $100 on a simple repair than $1000 on a full replacement after he breaks the thing even more
Puts his phone calls on speaker whenever possible. While this can have its merits sometimes (you get firsthand news of Gaz’s engagement!), most of the time it feels like a nuisance (do you really need to hear Soap talk about his hemorrhoids?)
MANSPREADERRRR! This man cannot sit like a civilized being to save his life. He claims he sits like that because his balls need to breathe, and to that I say good luck trying to breathe after I karate chop you in the throat :))))
Soap
Cuts his toenails in bed, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if he didn’t accidentally leave one or two rogue clippings that stab you in the side later when you’re trying to get comfortable
Forgets to put the toilet seat down when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee – that or he pisses all over the seat in the dark. Either way, prepare to have wet cheeks the next time you sit on the toilet
Whenever he doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, he just buys a new set of whatever’s dirty (that’s how he ended up with 100 pairs of socks and 200 pairs of underwear)
Talks nonstop through every show/movie you try to watch. Good luck getting more than five minutes of uninterrupted runtime next to this yapper
Apparently, doesn’t understand what “one bite” means? Whenever he asks you for a bite of your food, he always ends up taking five or six
Also, apparently doesn’t know how to chew with his mouth closed? Like, I’m glad you’re enjoying your meal, Johnny, but can you enjoy it without speckling it all over the table and my face?
Gaz
Two words: bathroom hog. I hope you don’t like taking hot showers or having more than a 6x6 inch square of counter space for your stuff, because after Kyle’s done with his 30-step beauty routine, there’s little of either left
Never knows what he wants to eat for dinner, and no matter what you suggest, he never thinks it sounds good
Has the gall to chastise you for your screen time even though he’s just as bad as you, if not worse (because you being on your phone before bed is so much worse than him playing video games for nine hours straight, right?)
Rests his feet on the couch/bed/coffee table while wearing shoes. It doesn’t matter if they’re brand new or beaten up; take your damn shoes off the furniture, sir!
Never writes down the shopping list because he’ll “remember everything”. (Newsflash: he does not remember everything, which means cue taking a second trip to the store)
Watches one documentary and thinks he’s an expert on the subject. You can have studied a thing for years, can present him with a bunch of rock solid facts and reputable sources, and he’ll hit you with a “Well, actually ☝️🤓” and then proceed to give the most nonsensical take ever
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sunasbabie · 3 days ago
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little something for the birthday boy, also i haven't written in over 3 years LOL
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it’s the 24th of january and it’s been 5 days since your boyfriend left for an away game, 5 days too long. you were never one to complain whenever rintaro went on away games, you understood that it was part of his job and you knew that even then when the two of you were both teenagers just figuring out your feelings for each other, but now that you’re together and used to seeing each other every day, it’s harder being away from him. especially when you want to spend his birthday with him and not just over the phone.
“how was the game today” you asked as you sat on the couch where you and your boyfriend would usually sit and catch up on shows you missed or movies you’ve been wanting to watch.
“it was a tight game babe, just like you” he chuckled “but we won”.
after knowing him for so long you’ve gotten used to how your boyfriend responds to things, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in response. he’s always been like this, always trying to make stupid jokes, you’d never admit it but it makes you smile everytime, even if they’re stupid.
“you’re so stupid” you stood up and walked towards the window, “i’m glad you guys won”
“yeah, i’m really tired though, can’t want to get home and lay in bed with you”
“i miss you rin” you couldn’t help but say the truth, you’ve never been one to not tell rin you’ve missed him or that you love him. that’s just how you’ve always been with him and that’s one of the reasons why he fell in love with you.
rin smiled to himself upon hearing you say that, of course he knew that but hearing you say that you’ve missed him makes him happy, “i miss you too baby, don’t worry i’ll be home on the 26th”
you frown upon hearing his response, you wanted to spend his birthday with him but apparently this year you couldn’t cause he was out of town.
“aww so you won’t be here for your birthday?” you pouted as if he could see your face right now
“no i won’t, but i’m free the entire day when i get back, we can do something then”
“okay, no complaining about being tired okay cause i’ve got something planned” you grip your phone, excited at the thought of seeing rin in two days and spending the whole day with him after not seeing him for almost a week.
rintaro smiles at the sound of excitement in your voice “don’t worry, i won’t”
“great, i’ll see you in 2 days rin. i love you.”
“i love you, i can’t wait to see you”
and with that you hung up the phone and started to plan rin’s birthday.
it was around 12:30am when you heard the locks of your apartment door turning, thinking that someone was trying to break into your apartment. you grabbed the nearest thing that you could swing at the person to hurt them, which was strangely a frying pan.
you walked closer to the door and when the door swung open you saw your boyfriend carrying all his bags walk through the door. you relax and lower the pan and put it on the couch.
you ran up to rintaro, hugging him by the waist, “what the hell rintaro you scared me, you said you’d be home on the 26th? what are you doing here” you looked up at him,seeing his face for the first time in a while and missing him.
he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you back, “i got on the last train going home, i missed you and couldn’t wait” he explained as he hugged you tighter.
you hold on to him for a little longer before moving your hands to his shoulders as you stand on your toes, leaning in to kiss him. you felt him kiss you back, you pulled away but stayed close his face before whispering “happy birthday rin, i love you” before leaning in and giving him another kiss.
"i love you" rintaro couldn’t think of getting anything better for his birthday, after all he’s got all he’s ever wanted. you.
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redrose10 · 2 days ago
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Here is the second and final chapter. Thank you for all the feedback. I hope everyone likes it!
Idol Husband Yoongi x Female Spouse Reader
Warnings: Swearing, angst, body insecurity, hints of cheating, jealousy, anxiety, panic attacks, slightly smutty but nothing crazy
Part 1
Part 1.5
🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒
A few days had passed since Yoongi left your home. You needed some space to process everything that had happened and he was willing to give that to you. Luckily, Hana was used to him being gone for periods of time so she didn’t question it too much and went about her days normally.
Yoongi seemed to be handling everything just fine too which only upset you more because you couldn’t understand how he wasn’t a mess. If it wasn’t for Hana needing you then you wouldn’t have gotten out of bed.
If he truly cared about you he would’ve been begging for your forgiveness. It had you questioning a lot of things. Why did he give up so easily? Why hadn’t he tried harder to explain himself? Why did he still have to text you every day to remind you to take your vitamins and drink enough water? Why did he still have to have your favorite breakfast delivered to you every morning knowing you’d be too tired to cook for yourself? Why did he have to remind you about your doctors appointment today when even you forgot about it? You hated that he was still so thoughtful and involved even when he wasn’t there because it made it harder to hate him.
Before your appointment you dropped Hana off at your parents place. She was spending the night there because you wanted her to do something exciting plus you just needed a night to yourself. Your appointment went great. The baby was healthy and you were too so you decided to reward yourself with one of your biggest cravings and a night of relaxing on the couch trying not to think about anything that had happened in the last week.
You had just gotten home with your large pizza covered in pineapple, pickles, and onions with extra anchovies on the side when there was a knock at the door. You sighed before putting the pizza down and slowly getting up to see who was interrupting your peaceful evening.
“Jimin?”, you questioned seeing the smiling man standing in front of you holding up a tub of ice cream. “Hheeeyyyy Y/N. How’s it goin?”, he sang as you stared at him before turning to walk away. “Yoongi’s not here.”, you said knowing that he was just going to follow you anyways.
“Yeah I know.”, he sarcastically said before placing the ice cream into the freezer, “He’s currently moping around on my couch driving me crazy.”
“Sounds like a you and him problem.”, you said taking a bite of your pizza while ignoring the dramatically disgusted face Jimin was making at the sight of it. It tasted like heaven to you thanks to your pregnancy hormones and that’s all that mattered.
Even though you acted indifferent to his news there was a big part of you that felt relief knowing he had been at Jimin’s and not hers.
“Please come get your husband.”, he whined before dropping down into the chair next to you, “Look I love him like a brother, but he’s sooooo annoying when he’s like this. He won’t tell me what happened, but he just keeps sitting there and pouting and if he’s not pouting then he’s crying AND I’m going to have to put a lock on my freezer. He ate my favorite ice cream Y/N. My absolute favorite. I was so excited to come home after a hard day of practice and eat some of my special ice cream but nooooo it was all gone and he didn’t even bother trying to hide the evidence.”
You continued chewing as you mulled over his words. “I didn’t know he was like that.”, you mumbled before taking another bite.
“Yeah tell me about it. He doesn’t even like caramel or white chocolate.”, Jimin scoffed.
“Has he really been crying?”, you questioned. You had known Yoongi a long time and you had only ever seen him cry once, on the day Hana was born and they were tears of joy. He certainly never cried over your relationship before, at least to your knowledge. That was not like him. He always wanted to come off as strong to you, even when he was struggling.
Jimin nodded, “Yeah he is a total wreck. He keeps mumbling something about being stupid and a divorce and then he starts crying again.”
“Divorce…?”, you whispered.
“Hey uh I hate to pry and I know it’s not really my place, but what happened between you two? I’ve never seen him like this so it must’ve been pretty bad.”, he hesitantly asked.
“He cheated on me.”, you answered deciding to just rip the bandage off.
Jimin laughed which made you quickly throw a glare in his direction so he stiffened up and cleared his throat. “No he didn’t.”, he simply said shaking his head, “Yoongi is a lot of things, but cheater is not one of them and he definitely would not have cheated on you.”
“Yeah well tell that to the woman who pulled his tie out of her purse because apparently he left it at her place.”
Jimin’s eyes widened in shock, “WWWHHHAAATT?”
You nodded, “Yep, we were at Hana’s talent show and this woman came up to us and handed him his tie from her purse. You know that cherry tie I gave him for our anniversary? She said he left it at her house. What other reason would there be for him to remove his tie other than sleeping with her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they were eating and he didn’t want to get it dirty? He loves that tie.”, he shrugged.
“Okay then why was he eating at her house to begin with?”, you rolled your eyes, “And he just left. He didn’t even try that hard to explain himself. Maybe he didn’t want the truth to come out.”
“Y/N you know how he is…He’s all about letting things cool down. He probably just didn’t want you getting even more upset and then things would be made worse. He did mention something about the baby and stress and how it’s bad. I don’t know. He’s the one who reads like every baby book ever published.”
Nodding along you started to agree, “I guess...”
Jimin turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow. He tried to speak, but you cut him off, “I don’t blame him to be honest. I mean look at me Jimin. I look like I swallowed a beach ball. I have stretch marks and my boobs are saggy and uneven and that all happened before I even got pregnant for the second time. That woman…she was perfect. She definitely didn’t spend her Friday nights sitting on the couch eating a whole pizza by herself. Why wouldn’t he choose to be with her over me? I bet he doesn’t even find me attractive any more. He probably hasn’t since Hana was born so this was a long time coming anyways.”
You could feel the familiar burning sensation in your waterline and you began to sniffle. Jimin reached over and took your hands into his. Lightly he gave you a squeeze to remind you that he was there for you. “Y/N, deep down you know none of the that is true. Yoongi loves you. He loves you more than anything in this world. He loves every part of you. Trust me. Yoongi loves to brag about you…sometimes a little too much. I still can’t look at a can of whipped cream without feeling weird. And DO NOT even get me started on that cherry neck choker thing he likes you to wear.”
You laughed a little thankful that he was there to help you work through all of this.
“Hey do you remember what that woman’s name was?”, he asked suddenly like he had just thought of something.
You shook your head, “I don’t know. Sarah or Aera or something like that. I kind of blacked out a little.”
Jimin softly chuckled to himself before breaking out into a big smile, “You need to talk to Yoongi. Let him explain and then the two of you need to discuss all of this. Tell him how you’re feeling. It’s not good to bottle this up…for either of you.”
You nodded and whispered a small okay before Jimin grumbled something about going home to save the rest of his ice cream and quickly scurried out of the apartment leaving you to process everything alone.
You were nervous. Hana was spending the second night in a row with your parents and you weren’t sure which one of them was more excited about the extended stay, but you were happy it worked out. Because currently you were pacing around the kitchen waiting for Yoongi to come home. When Jimin came over yesterday he had made it seem like there was a perfectly good explanation for everything that had happened so you texted Yoongi at 3am asking if he wanted to come home for dinner and talk. He responded immediately with a yes and a light scolding for being up so late, but it wasn’t that easy for you to get to sleep.
There was a beep at the door before it opened and shut quickly. Yoongi’s socked feet padded into the kitchen shortly after. The familiar smell of your favorite noodle spot quickly filled the air. He held up the bag with a shy smile and the two of you ate in awkward silence. And when you were done and cleaned up and you couldn’t stall any longer you moved over to the couch to get comfortable. Yoongi took a seat next to you, but still made sure to leave some space unsure of how you would react to him and it killed you that things had gotten so uncomfortable between you both.
“How have you been Y/N?”, he asked.
“Good. You?”
“Alright I guess. I’ve been better.”
You nodded unsure of what else to say.
“I miss you Y/N. I miss you and Hana.”, he said after a while, “I want to come home.”
“Yoongi…are…are you…are you cheating on me?”, you finally questioned wanting to just get it over with. Your bluntness shocked you and him both, but at this point you were tired and you figured what else could it hurt.
You watched his body tense at the question which brought instant tears to your eyes knowing the truth.
Frantically he began wiping away those tears. You wanted to shove him away and tell him not to touch you, but you couldn’t. Having him so close to you. Smelling his cologne that usually signified safety and comfort. Feeling his skin on yours after so long was too much to bare and you needed it.
“Y/N I didn’t cheat on you. I swear on everything I have.”, he whispered trying to keep you calm.
“Then who is she Yoongi? Why did she have your tie and why were you at her place to begin with? Why are you so close with her son?”
He took a deep breath and ran a shaky hand through his hair, “Her name is Aera Kim. She is the new Director of International Relations for the company. She helps coordinate things for us outside of Korea like tours, promotions, merchandising, things like that.”
All you heard was not only is she beautiful, but she’s also really successful and powerful too which didn’t help. Yoongi could see the drop in your demeanor so he turned to look at you so you could see how serious he was.
He continued, “We were at her place a few weeks ago. All of us. All of the guys, our managers, and a few others on the team. We were discussing the upcoming album release and world tour. Things were fine and then she said that they decided to add more tour dates. Five more in the US, three more in Europe, and they want to add a whole leg of the tour in South America plus all of the promotions and interviews that come with that. AND they want Namjoon, Hobi, and I to release an EP for a rap thing.”, he took a deep breath trying to collect his thoughts, “That’s going to add on an extra six months to the tour which was already going to take almost nine months to begin with. Then if we do release this EP there will be EVEN MORE work on top of all of that. Y/N I’ll be gone for well over a year and who knows how much longer. There might be a little break here and there, but not a lot. I’m going to miss so much. I won’t be here for you or Hana or the baby. I’ll miss the baby learning to crawl, maybe even their first steps and first words. Hana already tells everyone how I’m always gone on “bwusiness” and this will only make that worse. It kills me every time I hear her say something like that. I was already struggling with going on this tour to begin with and now it has me questioning everything. I…I just…I don’t know if I can do this any more Y/N. I’ve been thinking about leaving the group. I can just write lyrics or maybe just produce. At least I get to be here more often if I I do that.”
You felt bad for him. You knew it was tough on him at times, but you didn’t know it was to this extreme.
“The more I sat there and thought about it the more I began to panic. If I back out of the group then I’m letting down the guys and the label and of course the fans. If I go on the tour then I’m letting down my family. I got so worked up during the meeting that I had a full blown panic attack. I walked out onto the balcony to get some air, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe so I took my tie and jacket off because I felt like I was suffocating. Namjoon came out to try and calm me down and after a while they called a car to bring me home. I swear I thought I put the tie in my pocket when I grabbed my jacket so when I couldn’t find it I assumed that I dropped it somewhere or left it in the car, but I guess I left it at her place. I…Y/N I didn’t sleep with her. I promise. I barely speak to her. Her son is a huge fan of mine and he’s friends with Hana at school. Sometimes I let him hang out in my studio so I see her for like thirty seconds while she drops him off and picks him up, but that’s like the most I interact with her outside of business situations.”
Either from relief at getting this off his chest or reliving the stress again or maybe a little of both his shoulders started to shake and he buried his face into his hands. He cries shattering your heart. Your cheeks were fully soaked with your own tears now so with nothing to loose you leaned in and nuzzled your face against him pulling him as close to you as possible, “I’m sorry Yoongi. I’m so sorry. I should’ve let you explain from the start. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I’m sorry you feel like this. You’re not letting anyone down no matter what you do. Please don’t think like that.”
“I never should’ve given you a reason to think that I was cheating on you to begin with.”, he shook his head, “I hate that I let it get to that point. I’ve just been feeling like everything was closing in on me and I didn’t know what to do other than ignore it and hope it all gets better, but it just kept getting worse.”
“No it’s not your fault. I’ve just been so insecure and things have just been kind of weird between us and I really thought you weren’t attracted to me any more and then I saw her and how perfect she is and I panicked because I thought you had moved on to someone better.”, you said through your own tears.
Yoongi surprised you when he moved to get down on the floor to kneel in-front of you. He gently supported himself on your thighs. The warmth and pressure of his hands sent a tingling sensation through your body.
“Y/N, I…fuck I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I’ve just been so stressed and tired and then any time I did want to initiate something I felt like you weren’t into it and I didn’t want to push you or make you feel like I expected something. And you know I’m not the best at speaking my feelings so without being able to show you how I felt I didn’t know how to proceed. But you have no idea how much love I feel for you. And how attracted I am to you. Every little thing about you drives me crazy in the best way possible. I can’t get enough of you and I’m so incredibly sorry that I ever made you think any less.”
Your heart swelled as you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt pulling him up onto the couch with your lips searching for his. He laughed trying to catch himself from falling over before reciprocating the action. He straddled you enough to make sure he wasn’t putting too much weight on you as your fingers furiously undid the buttons of his shirt having it removed within seconds. It didn’t take much longer for your shirt to also end up in the same pile on the floor next to you with your bra following right after.
Even though you were burning up Yoongi’s touches left goosebumps on your skin as his fingers trailed down your side to the band of your shorts. He hooked two fingers inside. He teased you just enough to get a desperate whine out out you begging for more. You could feel him smirk against your lips because he got just the reaction he was looking for. He rocked his hips against you searching for any kind of friction and also making sure you could feel how badly he wanted you. Your brain turned into mush with thoughts of him after that.
You pulled away just long enough to catch your breath, “Bedroom?”
“Fuck yes, please.”, he said already picking you up in his arms and carrying you down the hallway while you giggled loudly in response.
Yoongi dropped down onto the bed next to you. “Are you hurt? Was it too much? I wasn’t too rough was I?”, he questioned trying to steady his breathing while pulling you flush against his body and looking you over at the same time. “No”, you shook your head, “You were perfect. I think I…I think we needed that.”
“Yeah.”, he laughed, “It’s been a while huh? Let’s not do that again.“
“Yeah I uh I guess I was afraid to let you see me like this, but it still hurt that lately you never seemed to really even try which only made me feel worse. And everyone’s always talking about how handsome you are and I just felt like I wasn’t good enough. And then I was worried that you found someone el-“
He silenced you with a kiss, “Y/N there will never be anyone else. Not in this lifetime or the next. You’re it for me.”
You smiled and relaxed into his warmth while he soothingly ran a hand over your belly as your baby happily kicked away excited to come into the world soon.
Between the relief you finally felt and his steady heartbeat lulling you it was only minutes before you had nearly fallen asleep in his arms. But then you startled awake remembering a special treat that was waiting for you in the freezer. You and the baby definitely wanted a late night snack and you were thankful it was there.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?”, Yoongi chuckled watching you closely.
“To get cleaned up.”, you grunted as you scooted off of the bed, “Jimin dropped off some ice cream yesterday and I was saving it.”
“Really?”, he asked following you into the shower, “I could go for some ice cream right about now. What flavor?”
You relaxed letting the warm water run over your sore body as you looked up at him with a cheeky smile, “Cherry.”
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moonstruckme · 2 hours ago
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hi mae!! please can i request doctor!remus with reader who has just started anti-depressants and is having mood swings/anxiety about it? totally okay if not!
thank u :)) (your dr remus is the loml <3)
Thank you angel (he's the loml too) <3
cw: insomnia, anxiety, mention of past depressive episodes, reader is trying out anti-depressants for the first time so there's some mixed feelings about that
doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 855 words
You can feel your heart pounding in your teeth. It reverberates all through your mouth, down to your cheek where it’s pressed against your pillow. You feel hot and restless. 
Your brain is a maze and you can’t get out. 
You thought Remus had fallen asleep, but he hasn’t, his arm slipping under sheets and over your waist to pull you closer. 
“What’s the matter?” he asks, more doting than concern in his tone; he already knows. 
Tears prick your eyes, but you hold them in. “I don’t like this.” 
“You’re alright, dove. Take a deep breath.” 
You do. Count all the way in, go as far as you can, and still. It doesn’t feel like it should.
“I can’t do it all the way,” you say, voice fracturing. 
“Shh, you can.” Remus’ voice is a murmur, his sureness a balm to your sensitive nerves. He brings his hand to your breastbone, pressing down until you’re certain the force of your heartbeat must be shaking him. “We’ll do it together, yeah? Feel.” 
With his chest pressed to you from behind, you feel the way his lungs inflate with the great breath he takes. You do the same, and his thumb rubs over your bare skin encouragingly. 
“There we are. Just like that, sweetheart.” 
You do a few more before Remus must deem your heartbeat normal enough to stop. You feel more normal, though your skin is still too tight and your mind seems like it was never yours. 
“Well done.” Remus kisses your shoulder. “What brought that on, hm? Can’t sleep?” 
You appreciate that he keeps asking, even though the answer has been the same for the past several nights. Yes, you can’t sleep. You can’t sleep, and instead your brain runs and runs. It takes you places you don’t recognize, and then you get scared that the meds you’ve been taking are turning you into someone else entirely, and you begin to wonder what your mental wellbeing is really worth to you, and by the time you tune back into your own body your breaths are loud and you’re damp with sweat underneath the covers. 
“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore,” you mumble. It’s easier to voice when you’re not looking at him. The darkness in front of you is shapeless and unjudging. 
Remus is quiet. His thumb strokes underneath your breast, a silent request for you to say more. 
“I’m tired” —your voice catches again, but you get it under control— “of feeling like this. I just want it to be over. I don’t care if I have to go back to—to the way things were for that to happen. I’m so tired of this.” 
Remus’ lips come down on your shoulder again, gently. His breath tickles your skin. “I know you are, lovely. I’m sorry.” 
“I think I should stop with the meds. Right?” 
You don’t mean to seek his approval until you do. That’s a doomed venture; Remus has told you why he thinks you’re doing the right thing every day and night since you’ve felt like this, usually more than once between sunrises. 
“If you want to stop, you can,” he says carefully. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you; I know the side effects forwards and backwards, but really, I can’t imagine how it feels. I do know that it’s putting you through a lot, sweetheart. But I still think it’s worth seeing how you feel when your hormones balance out.” 
You nearly cry with frustration. Remus feels the harsh exhale leave your chest and moves closer, turning you over so your face is in his chest. 
“Shh, it’s alright. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, my love.” 
But you’re upset with yourself, because you want it too. You want to know what it’s like on the other side of all this, where you might get through an entire year without melancholy sinking its claws into you. You want to discover what that version of yourself might be like. 
“It’s already been a week,” you plead. 
Remus’ voice is soft and lulling. Assured. “It’s normal to have anxiety like this in the second week. Insomnia, too. I know it’s awful, but it’s not because anything is going wrong. It’s expected.” 
“It sucks.” 
“Yeah. It does.” 
After a while, you start mimicking his breaths again. You think Remus knows, because his chest starts rising and falling more dramatically, each pull deep and long. You can hear his heart beating steadily under your ear. 
Remus’ hand rests on your mid-back, his fingertips just between your shoulder blades. Not rubbing, not patting. Just holding you there. Against him, where you need to be. 
You think he’s fallen asleep, but you’re proven wrong again when he asks softly, “Are you feeling better?” 
You let out a sigh. “Yeah.” 
It’s reluctant, but honest. You don’t know how you’ll find your way to sleep, or when you’ll get there, but the possibility of wakefulness feels a lot less stifling when you remember Remus is here with you. You hold onto him and close your eyes.
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lumosinlove · 1 day ago
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Vaincre
Link to Ao3
~
june part viii
“Hold on, hold—What did you say?”
Sirius stepped out onto the moonlit porch of the cottage and put a finger over his free ear—as if it was his fault he could barely hear the words his little brother was saying. Regulus’ call had come half-way through washing up after dinner, Julian begging for a nighttime game of pick-up, and Hope laughing at Remus for eating the last of the apple pie straight from the dish. He’d assumed he was calling about travel plans, but he hadn’t expected the thumping music in the background or cacophony of laughing voices. 
“I said I’m driving up day after tomorrow,” Regulus shouted, then laughed at something and said hello to someone, telling them to make themselves at home.
Sirius briefly wondered where he’d picked up the phrase and learned to use it so easily. It wasn’t like they’d heard it much. Make yourself at home. Instantly, Sirius thought of that basement bedroom at Pascal’s, and their warm kitchen—the kids doing homework, Celeste and Pascal cooking. Sirius, you don’t have to ask for water or anything else. Please, help yourself.
“I know that,” Sirius shouted back to Regulus, even though he probably didn’t have to. “You—ouais, you already told me that?”
“Oh. I did? Okay!”
“Ouais, I—” Sirius turned as Remus’ face appeared through the screen door, a questioning look on his face.
“You good?” Remus asked. “You’re yelling?”
Sirius pulled the phone away a bit. “I think my brother is drunk calling me.” He pressed the speaker back to his cheek. “Are you okay?”
Remus, obviously trying not to laugh, retreated back into the house.
“I just wanted to call,” Regulus shouted in his ear. “I just wanted to say, see you soon. Just wanted to say I’m glad this is—”
There was a long pull of silence, during which Sirius couldn’t tell if Regulus was talking to someone else, had dropped his phone perhaps, or was just thinking.
“I’m glad…” He began finally. “I mean, I’m glad these things happened.”
He didn’t sound drunk, Sirius supposed. He just sounded…unsure.
“What things?” Sirius asked.
“Everything.”
“What?”
“I just wanted to call you! And hear your voice, Sirius, fuck.”
“Why? Are you okay?”
More cursing, a blend of French and English. “Yes. Nothing has to be wrong for me to want to talk to you.”
“I…Ouais, okay.”
It seemed like he had moved somewhere quieter, but only by a bit. There was still music, low and filled with quick-lyrics, and Sirius caught passing parts of English conversations. Sirius picked out one voice, a girl, who said Regulus’ name and find me later.
“Who is that?” Sirius asked, then felt stupid.
Regulus didn’t hear him, busy telling the girl something before the speaker rustled, back against his ear.
“So. Finn and Alex go running every day,” Regulus shouted over the music. “I mean, when they can. When they’re in the same city.”
Sirius hadn’t known that, but, then again, Regulus probably spent more time with the Cubs. He should stop thinking of them as the Cubs. That had been Finn and Logan during their rookie seasons, and then Leo, but they didn’t really deserve that anymore. Especially not with a Cup.
“I—That’s nice.” Sirius looked towards the lake. The waves were soft tonight. All the boats had long gone home. Did he want to go running together? “I thought you were sort of done with…”
“No, I don’t want to run, I just…”
For the next few seconds, and Sirius pulled his phone back to watch some of the time go by on the screen, there was more silence. This was their way. He wished it wasn’t, he wished he had the right words to fill every part of his brother’s mind until he could cancel out all the wrong ones. But half-finished sentences it was. Half-thoughts that somehow found completion once they both stuttered and tried a few dozen times.
“I’m just saying,” Regulus said. “I’m just saying that when I get there, I’m your brother not your house guest.”
Sirius looked back towards the screen door at that, hoping Remus would be there. House guest? What did that mean?
“Did that sound bad?” Regulus said loudly.
“Non,” Sirius said. “I—non. I don’t—okay.” He was sort of panicking. Dumo would have known what to say. “I’m—sorry.”
“Non. C’est—Non. I’m saying it all wrong.”
Finn and Alex run. House guest.
“I…” Sirius cleared his throat. “Reg, I can barely hear you. I don’t know…I don’t know what else… I didn’t mean to make you feel like we’re…”
Not as good as other brothers.
“I just mean.” Over everything, he did hear the breath Regulus let out. Someone else said his name through a laugh and a hello. “Hi, yeah, come on in.”
Sirius waited, unsure how to have this conversation with music and other people right there.
“I should probably go,” Regulus said. “Sorry, I know you’re with everyone. And I know I’m—it’s loud, sorry. I don’t know.”
“I’m not with everyone,” Sirius said.
“Ha, right.”
Something definitely took a tumble in the background. The music soared up, louder, and Regulus cursed.
“Shit,” he said. “Sorry! Someone—Sirius?”
“I’m here,” Sirius said. “I’m right here.”
“I should…” The next words, shouted like they were talking to each other over a windstorm, still hit Sirius somewhere soft and gentle. “Hey, I get to stand next to you, right? On the day? Your day.”
Sirius pressed a hand over his chest and found the lake blurring through what must be a few tears. That. That had surprised him. It probably shouldn’t have.
“Please,” Sirius said, then laughed a little when Regulus did. “Yeah, you’ll stand next to me.”
“Good. Okay, good.” Someone else said Regulus’ name.
Sirius realized he still thought of him as his quiet brother, half pressed against the sides of rooms so nothing could surprise him.
He felt only pure relief in realizing that wasn’t true anymore.
“I love you,” Regulus said suddenly, a gasp of breath almost. “So. Yeah, I do. And I’ll see you soon.”
“I—see you soon,” Sirius said, staring, unseeing, at the lake. “I love you, too, Reg.”
He sort of forgot to go back inside. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting on the top porch step until a blanket appeared around his shoulders and Remus sat down close enough to press their hips and shoulders together.
“Is he okay?” Remus asked. “You’ve been out here for a while, I couldn’t tell if you were still on the phone.”
“Sorry,” Sirius said. “I didn’t help with dishes.”
“More than enough hands for that.” Remus turned Sirius’ hand over and traced a line of his palm with his thumb. “Everyone’s gone up to bed.”
“He just said he…” Sirius cleared his throat. “He just wanted to call me.”
Remus nodded. “Okay…Is he all good?”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah, he—he said Finn and Alex go running together when they’re in the same city. And that when he gets here, I should treat him like a brother? Not like a house guest?”
Remus laughed, just a little. “Well, okay, then. Blunt, as usual.”
“I have no idea what any of it meant.” Sirius rubbed a hand through his hair. “I don’t think he was actually drunk? I mean, I don’t know.”
“Sounds like he wants to spend time with you.”
Sirius shook his head, bewildered. “Sounds like he wishes we were Finn and Alex. Merde, or you and Jules. I don’t…”
“No,” Remus said, hand hooking over Sirius’ shoulder. He rested his chin there, too.
“Yes.” Sirius sighed. “I don’t know. He was so… He has all of these friends, and then he said he loved me, and asked if he gets to stand next to me. I thought—I mean, of course?”
“Did you tell him that?”
“Yes.”
“No, I mean before.”
“Well—Before when?”
Remus squeezed his arm. “He might have thought you’d choose James. Or Pascal. Julian said he thought I was going to choose Thomas when I told him he’d be next to me.” Sirius felt Remus’ quiet laugh against his neck. “Then he googled weddings and got all freaked out I was going to make him give a speech.”
Sirius smiled. “Oh God, Reg is not going to give a speech, there’s no way.”
“That’s fine,” Remus said. “We have a lot of people who are going to want to say something. I went with my dad and sorted out the whole music, sound-system situation today. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to stop potential karaoke.”
“Oh God. James.”
“Yeah.”
“Finn.”
“What, you’re not going to sing me a song, Black?”
“There’s a lot of things I’ll do for you…That’s maybe not one.”
“Well, damn.”
“Unless you…like, really want me to.”
“I would never torture you like that.”
Sirius pressed his smile into Remus’ cheek, enjoying the way Remus leaned further against him. Something made the nearby waves pick up, and Sirius closed his eyes, suddenly wanting to be in their room with the windows open, listening to them as they fell asleep.
“We owe your entire family a vacation,” Sirius said. “A long one.”
“For real, though,” Remus laughed. When Sirius put his hand out, Remus laced their fingers together. “Hey.”
Sirius looked down at him. He had more freckles than Sirius had ever seen him with. They dotted across his nose and cheeks. They would be there for their wedding photographs. Something about them made Remus look like he had when Sirius had first met him in his Lions staff jacket. Hi, Sirius? I’m Remus Lupin. Is there anything I can do for you?
Remus hooked a finger in the neck of his shirt, pulling his attention back to right then.
“You’re the one who found a whole new sort of family,” Remus said. “It’s good Regulus is doing that, too.”
“I know.”
“And you’re doing it again. You’re my family and we’re yours. That includes Reg—believe me. If you don’t make him know it, my mom will.”
Sirius smiled. “Hope Lupin versus Regulus Black. That—oh, what’s the thing your dad says?”
“Which thing?”
“Ah…” Sirius squinted upwards, carding a hand through Remus’ hair. “Oh. We love to see it.”
Remus tilted his head back, laughing. “We love to see it. Oh my God. You’re funny that you remember that.”
They leaned their heads together. The waves had quieted. Sirius watched Remus’ thumb make slow tracks over his knuckles and wrist. The woods around them rustled, and a cluster of crickets sang somewhere close by. Sirius still couldn’t believe how many stars he could see here.
“I know we just said how much help we’re getting with wedding things,” Remus said quietly. “And that we owe them a vacation, so we should probably stick around. But…”
“But?” Sirius said, then he couldn’t help himself anymore and leaned in to kiss Remus. He made a soft, happy sound. Sirius pressed his thumb over his engagement ring.
“Do you maybe,” Remus hardly leaned away to speak, “want to drive somewhere tomorrow?”
“Just us,” Sirius said, and kissed him again, then again, in time with the hush of the lake’s shore.
“Just us.”
~
“No.”
Finn laughed as he reached the end of the pier before Alex, catching himself on the railing. He pulled back, letting himself hold on by his fingertips as he tilted his head up to the sky and let out a whoop.
“I win,” he shouted. “I fucking win.”
“I let you win,” Alex panted. He had his hands on his knees and was trying to blink sweat out of his eyes. “Tell me, who’s in the playoffs right now and needs to conserve their strength? Oh yeah. Me.”
“Fuck off,” Finn said. “I’m not even out of breath.”
“That’s because you’re a freak.”
Finn reached forward and flicked the bill of Alex’s cap up, knocking it to the ground.
Alex swiped at him, making to hit him in the groin, but Finn jumped back, out of reach. Alex scowled as he picked up his hat.
Finn turned back towards the water. The day’s heat was catching on now and he adjusted his own cap, pushing his sweaty hair back.
“No training today, right?” Finn asked.
“Nope.” Alex came to stand beside him. “Day off. Tomorrow, though. Morning’s optional. Do you know if Tremz is going?”
“I’ll ask him.”
They walked in the sun until they could cross back across the road and the smooth pavement of the river paths turned into the West Village’s cobblestones. There was a cluster of dogs outside of their regular coffee shop and Finn saw Alex snap a photograph of a particularly glossy golden retriever and send it off to Kasey.
“Are you bringing breakfast back or are they meeting you?” Alex asked.
“Lo’s probably sleeping still—bringing back.”
Alex nodded. “Do you—like urgently, or—Want to sit for a bit?”
Finn raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I wanna sit. Are you okay?”
Alex turned his hat backwards as they went inside the shop. “Why?”
“You just started three different sentences.”
Alex kept his eyes on the menu. “I just—What are you poking me for, I want to have coffee with you, I’m being nice.”
Finn put his hands up. “Okay. Be nice, then.”
They ordered and found a table out front, so small they had to sit side-by-side to avoid being in the middle of the sidewalk. It was half in the shade of a tree and in the shadow of a row of Citi Bikes. Finn watched Alex fidget with his straw.
“How’s your shoulder?” Finn asked.
“What? Oh, fine. Just one of those things. Doesn’t bother me enough to bother me.”
Finn nodded. “Yeah. Lo’s got that with one of his calves. Doesn’t bother him on the ice but at home he’s all—you know. Harz, Le, can you get that, my leg.”
Alex laughed. “Let me guess. You get it for him.”
“So what if we do?”
“Shocker.”
Finn laughed, shaking the ice cubes around in his cup. “Whatever.”
They watched two beagles pass by, one coming over to sniff intently at Finn’s shoe. Finn asked if he could pet them, mostly trying to give Alex a moment to say whatever he wasn’t saying. He ran his palm over the dog’s soft ears, smiled at the warm kisses of its tongue against his wrist, and nodded his thanks to the owner who continued on.
“They’re not getting married. Yet.”
Finn watched the dogs go for another moment. Their white-tipped tails swished happily in unison. Twins. Brothers.
Finn turned back in his seat and took a sip of his coffee. Alex was looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He had one of his knees bouncing. When it rattled the table, he stopped.
“Hello?” Alex sighed.
Finn put an arm around him and pulled them together. The bill of Alex’s hat, low on the back of his neck, bumped into Finn’s nose, but Finn just held on tighter.
“Al…” Finn squeezed him hard. “Thank God, fuck.”
“I—yeah.” Alex sighed, slumping into him a little. “Guess you were right. I was worried. And sad.”
“I know,” Finn said. He pulled back. “How is everything now?”
Alex laughed, rubbing at his jaw. “Fuck. So much better. It’s like I was using half my lungs or something.”
“Don’t I know that feeling.”
“Yeah, what is up with us?”
“Mm…I don’t know. Maybe mom knows.”
Alex shook his head like he was still clearing the fog of these last months. He turned his face up towards the sunlight coming through the trees. “Yeah, she probably knows. Anyway…”
Finn raised his eyebrows and Alex shrugged.
“There you have it,” Alex said.
“There you have it? C’mon, how’d it go down?”
Alex groaned. “It went down, that’s all that matters.”
“Alex. What happened to telling each other things?”
“There’s nothing to tell. Natalie and I talked and then Kasey and I talked and—I don’t know, I confessed?”
“Al.”
“And I cried.” Alex slapped his hand to his thigh, laughing a little. “Which was—nice. But embarrassing.” He messed with his straw again, the paper scratching against the plastic lid. “I don’t think I even—really knew how worried I was. I think I assumed they would get tired of me. And I was just going to have to be okay with that.”
“I’ll beat up anyone who thinks they could get tired of you.”
Alex smiled slightly. “I’m glad I was wrong.”
“O’Haras don’t do sometimes. We’re all-day-every-day.”
“Ha, yeah. I guess that’s true.”
“So, you’re spending the summer together?”
“Yeah, gonna go to California, train with one of Kase and I’s old teammates. See Natalie’s family. What are you guys doing after the wedding?”
“France,” Finn said. “New Orleans.”
“Fancy you.”
Finn smiled. “Lo’s hoping for a Cup day in August, obviously, and he wants to bring it to Harvard with Percy and Will.”
“You gonna go?”
Finn nodded. “I want to take Leo all around. I mean…If he wants. I think he’ll like it? But I don’t want it to feel like…”
“‘Here are all the things we did without you?’”
“Yeah, exactly.” Finn stretched his legs out under the table. “I want—I’d mean it like, look, this is special now because you’re here, too. I mean, it was special before with just Lo, but it was also just…”
“Sad,” Alex finished.
“Yeah.” Finn laughed. “Are you going to finish all my—”
“Sentences.”
“Al—”
“—ex, stop,” Alex wined, then laughed loudly when Finn punched his arm.
“Okay, I’m done having coffee with you.”
Alex laughed and stood up. “Yeah, yeah, if you don’t get Tremz his chocolate he’ll bite you.”
“I mean, you’re—”
“—not wrong,” Alex said, then jumped out of Finn’s reach.
“Alex.”
“Okay, okay.” Alex lifted an arm and pulled Finn in. “See you later, yeah?” He pulled back and flicked his forehead. “Love you, Fish.”
Finn squinted one eye closed. “If you say so.”
Finn waited until Alex was halfway down the street, fishing his keys out of his pocket.
“I love you, too!” Finn shouted.
Alex turned to laugh, shaking his head.
Finn shut the front door to Logan’s apartment as quietly as he could. He set the croissant bag down on the counter, along with his keys and wallet, humming as he went. There were signs that Leo had been awake. Some coffee in the glass pour-over container, and his phone on the counter.
“Of course you and Remus are both morning hummers.”
Finn turned sharply towards the living room. “Whoa.”
Regulus’ sharp smile flashed and faded from where he sat on their couch. “Hey there.”
“Hi. Sorry.”
“No, my bad, I should have said something.”
“No. I mean—all good.” Finn took down a plate for the pastries. “Does morning hummer mean what I think it means?”
Regulus raised his eyebrows. “Uh. I don’t know. What does it mean?”
“Well…” Finn glanced in the direction of the bedroom. “Well, what do you think it mea—”
“Let’s just drop it.”
“Yeah, good idea.” Finn took a sip of his coffee. “If I’d known you were coming over, I’d have brought you something.”
“It’s all right,” Regulus said. “Leo said I are getting breakfast before I head up to Remus’ lake house tomorrow.”
“Ah, yes. Wedding. Best man, right?”
“I think James thinks he is, but it’s me.”
“Of course it’s you!” Leo emerged from the direction of the bedrooms, freshly showered, and pressed a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “Morning, Harz. You look so cute. Little tomato.”
“Thanks? I think.” He twisted Leo’s gray streak, still damp, once around his finger. “Sleep okay?”
“Second half of the night, yeah.” Leo let Finn run a hand over his hair, eyes closing happily. “How’s Alex?”
“He’s good. I beat him home, so, ha.” Finn put a thumb over Leo’s bottom lip. “Where’s our pet hockey player?”
Leo laughed, took his hand, and kissed it. “Still snoozing.”
Yes. Finn set the plate down. “Cool. I’m going to…” He glanced at Regulus. “Go say hi to him and then shower.”
“Say hi to him?” Leo repeated with a snort. “Okay, call it what you want, I guess. Reg and I are getting breakfast. Oh, and I think we’re going to his friend’s birthday party tonight—you wanna come?”
“Love to.” Finn looked at Regulus. “Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Regulus said, standing. “Logan, too, if he wants.”
“We’ll see if he feels like he’s gotta lie low,” Leo said. He shrugged at Finn who nodded. Then Leo made a happy sound and wrapped his arms around Finn’s shoulders. “Party with you, I like the sound of that.” He pressed a firm kiss to Finn’s mouth and it felt like sparking wires. “I love you, I love you, you’re sweaty, ew, I love you.” He kissed Finn’s cheeks before whispering in his ear. “I know what you’re up to, you better change those sheets.”
“You got it, lover,” Finn whispered back.
“You guys are really bad at whispering,” Regulus said. He was standing by the door now. “Le, I want waffles.”
“I want that special quiche they had that one time, fingers crossed.” Leo grabbed his wallet and keys, then stumbled a bit when Finn reeled him back in, straight into one more kiss.
“I love you,” Finn said. “Have fun.”
“You taste like summer,” Leo smiled. “See you tonight. Let Lo know and we’ll text you the address.”
“Tell Logan congrats on making the finals,” Regulus called, then the apartment door swung shut.
Finn slipped through their open bedroom door, undoing his watch as he went. He smiled at the sight that waited for him. Logan was sprawled across the whole bed, like he was searching for them even as he was asleep. He was on his back, bare save for the tight gray briefs that he favored, and his chin was tilted up with his arms by his head. The sheets were low enough to show his tattoo. Finn’s heart picked up just looking at him. He could feel himself getting turned on. Logan and Leo both liked making love in the morning, and if Finn wasn’t careful, he’d see every sunrise and get endlessly hopeful each time.
Finn sat on the edge of the bed, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. Logan didn’t stir. He put a hand on Logan’s hip, thumbing over the dark ink. Nothing. He leaned over and pressed a kiss right to the center of Logan’s chest. That got a deeper breath, one of only just waking up.
Logan peeked an eye open and then, seeing Finn, closed them again and let a slow, sleepy smile spread over his face.
“Hi,” Finn whispered. “Good morning.”
“Mmm…Cœur.” Logan kicked back the covers. “Did you run?”
“Yeah, just got back.”
Logan stretched, his back arching. By the sly, tired look in his eye he knew exactly what he looked like. “Do you want to…”
Finn nodded, rubbing a palm high over Logan’s inner thigh. “I really fucking do.”
The sound Logan made next was low in his throat and pleased. “Come here.”
“Leo doesn’t like it when I bring outside sweat into the sheets,” Finn said—just to make him ask again.
“Good thing they’re my sheets,” Logan said.
Finn laughed and reached behind him to yank off his shirt. “That’s true.”
He shed his shorts and socks, too, and Logan tugged him down by the band of his underwear.
“If someone told you I was a morning hummer…” Finn mumbled into his kiss.
Logan threw a leg around Finn’s hip and pushed him onto his back. “Who’s someone?”
“Not Leo.”
Logan settled his weight down over Finn’s clothed cock and rocked slightly. He pressed one more kiss to Finn’s mouth before putting his hands against Finn’s chest and sitting himself upright. “Not sure I like that someone else knows that.”
Finn smoothed his hands over Logan’s strong thighs, so warm from being tucked under the covers. “That’s what I thought. Regulus just said—”
Logan froze. “Like, here?”
“Regulus was in our living room. Emphasis on was. Him and Le are at breakfast now, so…”
Logan sighed happily and rolled his hips again. “Oh.”
Finn hissed a breath through his teeth. “Yeah, baby, carry on. He says congrats on making the final round, by the way. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a few trips to Colorado. Not too many though.”
“Me too,” Logan said absently, more intent on palming Finn through the cotton material of his briefs, then himself. Finn could have lay there forever. He covered Logan’s hand with his and tucked a thumb into the front slip of his briefs to feel the silk of him.
Logan pushed into his touch, then bent to kiss him before reaching for the bedside table. Logan held the jar they kept there out to Finn and bit his lip around a smile.
“Oh, now he’s bashful,” Finn said, taking it.
Logan let loose his full grin and fell forward, tucking his face into Finn’s neck to bite at the sweat-damp skin. It was a bit of a tangle, ridding themselves of the rest of their clothes, and Finn laughed softly at the way Logan splayed his thighs wide over his lap, grinding their half-hard cocks together.
“You smell,” Logan whispered.
“Well, if I recall what I’ve learned about you over these many years—”
But then Logan was kissing him, licking into his mouth until Finn bit down on his lower lip just to hear his low groan. Logan moved down to kiss the salt from his jaw and neck, firm lips and quick dashes of his tongue and sharp, just on the side of not-too-hard nips from his teeth. Finn wondered what Logan would say if he asked him to just cover him in those biting kisses entirely and take his time about it.
“Did you have sweet dreams?” Finn asked, unscrewing the jar’s top.
“I’m in one,” Logan said, pulling back to watch Finn slick his fingers. “Did you have a good run?”
“Yeah,” Finn said, watching the way Logan’s eyes trained on his hand. “Got a chocolate croissant from that coffee shop by the river.”
Logan’s eyes darted to his, affronted.
Finn reached down and smoothed his hand over Logan’s ass. “Don’t give me that look.” He enjoyed the way Logan’s breathing hitched when he dug his palm into his muscles. “I don’t go near a bakery without leaving with something for my Lo.”
“Finn,” Logan whispered shakily.
“My sweet tooth creature of chocolate and sour candy.”
Logan pressed back against Finn’s slick touch.
“Of course it’s chocolate that turns you on.”
“You turn me on—” Logan cut off as Finn’s fingers found home, brows drawing together. His knees tightened around Finn’s hips. “Ah…”
Finn pressed his smile into Logan’s temple, then turned it into a kiss. They had time, so Finn kept his touches slow. The sun was coming through the window, lighting up dust in the air and throwing a warm slant across Logan’s lower back. Logan lay down against his chest and Finn could feel each one of his steady breaths. He kissed Finn’s skin every once in a while. Finn stroked his free fingers through Logan’s hair. It was almost like he was going to be put back to sleep, save for the needy thrum of his heart Finn could feel if he pressed a palm to his back. His skin still held that solid sort of heat he always had when he was sleeping, the warmth Leo and him always pressed their freezing fingers against in the middle of the night. Most people, Finn guessed as he felt Logan’s cock began to get wet between their stomachs, would shy away from any cold touch in their sleep. A slumbering Logan, however, always seemed to give them more room to warm up.
“Feels good?” Finn murmured. He scratched gentle fingers down the back of Logan’s neck and used the leverage of his other, slightly tweaking wrist to press deeper inside Logan’s body. More oil, a third finger that made Logan press his forehead into Finn’s chest and push back against his hand.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “Mhm, fuck.”
Finn rolled his head against the pillow to catch a good look at Logan’s parted mouth and shut, blissful eyes. His lashes cast those gorgeous shadows.
“You’re so fucking strong right now,” Finn said. “Fucking big, it’s…” Logan’s shoulders, the powerful muscles of his back, made Finn’s cock ache. He pressed hard into Logan, gentle with the pads of his fingers, until the corded muscles in Logan’s back shifted like rippling light and Logan gasped out a sound. “God, Lo, I love it.”
Logan’s laugh was a huffy, embarrassed sound, but his cheeks were pink and proud as he pushed himself to sit up, palms on Finn’s chest. Finn’s hand slipped out of him, but Logan was already reaching for the jar, then taking Finn in his hand, in both hands, to give him slow, smooth strokes.
Finn’s hips were pinned by Logan’s weight and he dug his nails into Logan’s thighs, trapped there with nothing to do but try to breathe through the sight of Logan’s scarred-knuckled hands around his cock. Logan watched, too, then darted his eyes to Finn’s face.
“I love your voice,” Logan said softly. His accent, sated already, dragged his words like a hand through clear water. He pushed himself onto his knees and positioned Finn’s cock, pausing to rub it against himself for a moment. “I love when it sounds like I’ve had you already and we haven’t even started.”
Finn just smiled and ran a hand through the mess Logan had left on his stomach. Then he felt the heat. Logan’s heat. It locked around him and Logan’s head dropped back in one, satisfied motion as he worked himself slowly down.
Finn’s toes curled and he dug his heels into the mattress. “Lo.”
“Mm,” Logan smiled up at the ceiling, eyes closed. He didn’t move. He stayed still, adjusting, before lifting himself so Finn could watch his cock slip nearly all the way out of him. Logan’s mouth fell open slightly, lost in the feeling if sinking down again. Finn, looking up from the mesmerizing sight of where they fit together, had expected his eyes to still be closed. But Logan was watching him.
“Sometimes, I can’t believe it’s you,” Logan whispered. He smoothed his palms up Finn’s chest over his heart. “I’m so—” He cut off as Finn accidentally slipped out of him. The sudden lack of contact ached and Finn hissed as his shaft jolted, seeking Logan and dripping beads of want from its tip.
“Non…” Logan began to say.
“Here, baby,” Finn was there, holding his hips and guiding them together again. “God.”
Finn felt his cock pulse, watched Logan feel it inside by the look on his face, saw the gleaming evidence of being as close to the edge as he was when Logan pushed himself up again. Finn splayed his hands over Logan’s ribs.
“So good,” Logan whispered. “You feel so good…”
Finn bent his knees, planting his feet on the bed to lift up into Logan’s body. It was the moments before the fall when he never felt deep enough, when ever part of him wanted to hear the sound of his skin moving against Logan’s more than anything.
He gripped Logan’s thighs, his fingers pressing indents into the strong muscle, and relished in the weight of Logan’s hands on his chest as he tried to keep his balance even as his breathing uneven. Logan reached behind him, hooking an elbow around Finn’s knee and found his rhythm again, letting himself fall down as Finn pushed up.
“Lo,” Finn grit out. It half-occurred to Finn that he should be doing most of the work, that Logan had other performances to pay attention to, but the blinding heat around him banished those thoughts quickly enough.
When Logan began to come, Finn knew he was only halfway there. He didn’t touch himself. Didn’t move to have Finn touch him.
“Ah—Ah—” Logan was loud. Hoarse, panting sounds fell from him that Finn swore were going to make him come. He reached down and pushed on the root of himself, trying to starve it off. Logan wasn’t done.
Logan leaned forward and fucked himself back on Finn in quicker snaps now as he painted strips of white over Finn’s body. Finn tilted his head back into the pillows, relishing the silky splash that reached up his chest, and the rhythmic squeezing of Logan’s orgasm around his cock.
“Fuck,” Finn said, hand circling Logan’s cock in a tight grip. “Oh, fuck, Lo, keep doing that, keep…”
Logan braced his hands on Finn’s ribs and began to push himself harder, hardly lifting off at all.
“Come here,” Logan whispered. He tangled his hands in Finn’s hair, gripping tightly, and kissed him.
Finn didn’t break the kiss as he went, just let Logan lick up his gasps. He pushed Logan onto his back in the rough, tumbling way he liked and hardly gave him any time for a please little laugh before he was grinding his cock into him, aiming straight for what would get Logan close to the edge of another one.
“Uh—” Logan pressed his teeth around Finn’s jaw, then dragged a half-kiss across his cheek until they were kissing as Finn rocked into him. “Yes, yes, Finn, yes…”
“I know.” Finn’s words sounded shaky to himself as he spread his palms down Logan’s back. He kissed the corner of Logan’s parted lips, the side of his nose, the high of his cheek. He caught a flash of green and Logan was suddenly looking at him again. It was written all over his face, how good he thought Finn felt inside. Finn could feel it in the half-smile they gave each other just before it was too much again and Logan dipped his fingers into Finn’s hair and brought their foreheads together. He felt it in the span of Logan’s hand down his back, then the way he cupped Finn’s jaw just to kiss him again through their mixed, heavy breaths.
Finn pressed his cock deep into him, almost straining for more, and stayed, and stayed, sucking a bruise into Logan’s neck until he felt him seize up around him and come between them again with a gasp. Finn smiled to himself.
“Good,” Finn whispered as he began to move again, chasing after his own now. “I’m gonna…”
“Yes.” Logan’s voice stuttered, pleasure that sounded like tears. He was trying to bring Finn closer with every part of him, drawing him in with his heels and the clutching of his hands and his core. He pushed his head back into the pillows and Finn kissed over the curve of his throat. He got a hand around the side of it, thumb just under his chin, so he could keep him like that while he added another bruise.
He thought of the party tonight as he rocked into Logan harder and watched the mark form as he worked Logan’s skin. Logan looked beautiful at parties. Low lights made his green eyes go dark. Anyone could see he was taken now. He’d need to pull Leo aside at some point, kiss him until he got that beautiful, open smile on his face like at the museum.
“Rouge,” Logan’s voice whispered. Two hands on the sides of his face. Logan had sweat beaded on his upper lip. Finn kissed him and slowed his hips. Logan reached down for his waist, coaxing him on. His thumbs were two lovely pressure points against each hip bone.
“Beautiful at parties,” Finn said softly.
Logan’s eyes edged on bewildered at that, but they were happy. They told Finn that Logan knew he’d been thinking about something, could even picture what he’d been thinking, at least a little. They’d always been that way. Logan nodded quickly, bottom lip between his teeth.
He began to fall over the edge at that look on Logan’s face. How had Finn ever convinced himself that Logan didn’t love him?
Logan opened up again at the feeling of Finn emptying inside him. Finn held his breath and closed a tight fist around the pillow beside Logan’s head. For a minute, they were just two heartbeats.
When he could breathe again, Finn peeked out from the warm crook of Logan’s neck. There was that small smile on his face, his eyes closed. He was making figure-eights around the notches of Finn’s spine. Finn shivered, sensitive now, and he eased himself from Logan’s body and tucked Logan into his side.
As he watched, Logan’s throat moved as he swallowed. Finn touched one of the love bites he’d left behind. Logan curled a gentle grip around his fingers, his palm against the back of Finn’s. He kissed the pads of his fingers and opened his eyes to look down at him.
“And what do I sound like now that you have actually had me?” Finn whispered, then winced one eye closed when his voice cracked.
“Sorry, what was that?” Logan laughed through the words.
“Shut up.” Finn ran a hand from Logan’s chest all the way down to the soft bend of his knee. “Oo-Ways.” Finn kissed his shoulder. “Want me to clean up?”
Logan thought for a moment, stretching beneath Finn’s hands. “Non. Shower soon.”
“Want me to bring you a chocolate croissant?”
Logan smiled. “Hm. Chocolate. What a turn on.”
~
Remus rolled the car windows down to let the smell of the lake and trees in, and smiled when he felt Sirius’ hand settle on his thigh as he drove them up towards the mountain trails.
“I still feel bad,” Sirius sighed. “Fuck.”
“Julian is not mad at you.” Remus said. “All we said was that we were going on a date—he can’t be mad that he couldn’t come.”
“But he was,” Sirius groaned.
“Disappointed maybe. He’ll live.”
“He’s going to hate me.”
“He literally could never hate you.”
“He’s going to start liking James more.”
Remus laughed. “Oh. So, that’s what you’re really worried about.”
Sirius just frowned at the sun-streaked road. Remus reached up to ruffle his hair. “Turn left here.”
He’d packed a simple picnic lunch and picked a straight-forward trail to a lookout that he’d hiked to a million times. The earth was spongy and soft beneath his feet as he settled the small lunch box, packed with icepacks, at the bottom of his bag. Making sure Sirius wasn’t looking, he opened it briefly to check all was right, then zipped up his pack.
Sirius started a few paces ahead of him, head forward as he climbed over roots and rocks like they were racing and he was determined to come in first place.
“Hi, I’ll just be back here,” Remus called out. “Your fiancé, trying to take you on a romantic hike.”
Sirius didn’t turn right away, so focused that it took him a moment to register that Remus had spoken. He stopped on top of a flat rock and looked back.
“Quoi? Did you say something?”
“I said I’m just your fiancé, back here, trying to take you on a romantic hike.”
“What?” Sirius laughed and stepped down. He retraced his steps back to Remus’ side. Even in the more mild mid-mornings, sweat already shone on his cheeks.
“Aren’t we trying to get to the top?”
Remus laughed. “Um. We’re going to get to the top.” He tugged at Sirius’ backpack strap. “Doesn’t mean we have to do it in under an hour.”
“Oh.” Sirius’ smile, aimed at the trees, was sheepish. “Right.”
Sirius stuck close to him after that, bending to feel a small stream running past them, or pausing to take Remus’ picture. Remus laughed himself hoarse when the rustle of a rabbit, darting between bushes, caused Sirius to jump half out of his skin. Sirius laughed himself when Remus stepped right into another small stream and walked the rest of the way disgruntled by a soaked sock.
They came to the summit sweating and out of breath, but as the trees opened up to reveal only sky and blue-purple mountains, they both stood quietly.
“Wow,” Sirius said. He turned in a slow circle, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “It’s like we’re the only two left.”
“If there’s anyone I would choose…” Remus began, and Sirius started to smile. “It would be Thomas.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Ouais, sure. Thomas.”
They found a shade-spotted place beneath a tree and Sirius rolled out the blanket from his pack while Remus set out their lunch of turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce—Sirius’ smile was worth the slightly soggy bread.
“Hey,” Sirius said softly. He turned Remus’ gaze away from his bag with a hand on his chin, and kissed him. Remus had expected it to be quick, and the warm swipe of Sirius’ tongue, then the small scrape to his bottom lip, made him sway and catch himself with a hand on Sirius’ knee. Sirius smiled at him when he pulled back. “Feels like yesterday.”
Remus nodded. From the corner of his eye, he could see his ring. “Yeah, it really does.”
“This is perfect.”
“Wait,” Remus said, then produced from between cold-packs, a half-bottle of champagne.
“Loop,” Sirius laughed delightedly. “Really—C’est parfait.”
Remus began to untwine the wire. “I thought you’d like that.”
They let the sun creep towards their blanket. The champagne in the plastic cups caught the light, and Remus wiggled his nose at some bubbles as Sirius cut into a ripe pear and passed him slices as he went.
“So.” Sirius took a sip of champagne. “Do you think anyone would listen to me if I tried any pull that might get Tremz back?”
Remus leaned back on his elbows. “Hm. Well, it’s not like—I mean, you wouldn’t exactly have to convince anyone on our side. But the Rangers would have to be willing to deal. Money would be the problem.”
“I think about it when I’m trying to fall asleep sometimes. I’d take a pay cut,” Sirius said. “And I wouldn’t ask that of Leo so early in his career, but I bet Finn would, too.”
“And Kasey’s retiring,” Remus added. “That frees up quite a bit.”
“Ouais, this is what I’m saying.”
“But if the Rangers aren’t interested—”
Sirius sighed. “Yeah…Yeah.”
“Logan’s about to get them to a Cup, their first in a long time, if all goes to plan.”
Sirius didn’t say anything, just looked out towards the mountains. He set the core of the pear aside, wiping the leftover juices on a napkin.
Remus sat up again. He rested a hand on Sirius’ sun-warmed neck. “I’m sorry, baby. I know you miss him.”
Sirius nodded. “I do, but… More I just…If we ever got traded apart—”
“La la la.” Remus scrunched up his nose. “No, don’t. We’re drinking champagne, you can’t talk like that while we’re drinking champagne.”
It had been one thing this year, getting used to being on a team with all of his closest friends. It would be something entirely different to be in another locker room, filled with other players—some of which probably wouldn’t trust his experience.
“I was just going to say, if it were me, or you, I’d hope someone would help me. And it has happened. A player leaving and returning. It happens.” Sirius glanced at Remus, then down. “This is going to sound bad, but I am the face of the Lions. When I got here, we were in a horrible slump. I was part of pulling them out of that. Me, James, Dumo, Kasey… Then Finn. Then Logan.”
“That doesn’t sound bad,” Remus said. “That sounds true. That is true. I’d know, I watched it happen.”
Sirius nodded, then groaned and fell back against the blankets, his head pillowed on Remus’ pack. “I’ll try. I just won’t say anything to him in case nothing happens.”
Remus set his cup in the grass and rolled onto his side to be near him. He righted with the 1 and 2 pendants, which had switched to twenty-one.
“I love you,” Remus said. He leaned down to press his nose into Sirius’ cheek, enjoying the slight scratch of his stubble. “I don’t know how anyone calls those grey eyes of yours cold.”
Sirius just smiled, his eyes closing. Remus lowered his head to his chest and felt his arm wrap around his shoulders. The sun felt like it was soaking into his very bones. The champagne had made his head pleasantly buzzy, and Sirius’ heart beat slowly beneath his ear.
“I love you, too,” Sirius said.
He had hardly finished the words when Remus felt one rain drop, two, right on his cheek—and then downpour.
The sky was still blue, even as the sudden shower was came down with such force that for a moment they both merely lay there, staring at each other. Finally, Sirius cracked a smile, let out a surprised laugh, and began to sit up.
“Whoa. Oh my God, shit, the—the blankets.”
Remus’ laugh startled out of him. He shut his eyes and turned his head up to the sky. “Oh my God.”
Distantly, thunder rumbled beneath the rattle of the rain on the trees.
“Here, Re, go under that tree and I’ll—”
But Remus just pushed at Sirius’ chest, getting him to stay where he was. “No. I—no, wait.”
Sirius’ t-shirt was already thin and clinging at his shoulders, carving itself into his muscles. He blinked fast, laughing as the rain ran into his eyes. Up close, there was nothing steely about his expression. He was rainwater. Remus tucked two fingers around the chain of his necklace.
“It’s just rain,” Remus said.
Sirius spluttered a little. “This is—someone turned a tap on.”
But Remus just laughed harder and put his hands into Sirius’ soaked hair. It slipped, silky and dark, between his fingers.
“I want to kiss you,” Remus said. Raindrops ran into his mouth and matted his hair down against his forehead. “I want to kiss you when no one is about to come around the corner or knock on our door our shout up the stairs.”
At that, Sirius stopped trying to salvage their small camp. His hands found Remus’ waist and he lay back on the soaked ground at Remus’ slight pressure. Let their champagne mix with the rain in the plastic cups. Remus wanted to see if he could taste that combination, and he leaned forward and kissed Sirius for the summer storm that he was.
~
Luke liked Saint in his apartment. He liked the steam coming out of his bathroom and the sliver-glimpse he got of his lean body stepping out of the glass-encased shower. Luke looked back to his own reflection in the mirror. He’d ironed his shirt, the soft white linen mostly unwrinkled now. At least, he’d tried. He snapped a quick photo and sent it to Logan with two question marks.
The reply came after a few moments.
Nice!!
Finn was looking over my shoulder he’s better at this - brown belt instead?
On subway also - maybe slow reply
Where are you going?
Luke sent him the link to the restaurant.
But I’ve never been. Finn have favorites?
This reply did take longer. Maybe the subway, maybe Finn thinking. Then a link came through. He tapped on the address and it loaded in Maps, showing a small restaurant, not too far away. The tables were small. Candles. Romantic. A wave of nerves heated Luke’s neck and he glanced at himself in the mirror.
Thanks a lot
“You’re dressed.”
Luke looked up at Saint’s voice. His expression matched the faint hint of surprise it had held. He had a towel around his waist.
Luke set his phone down on the dresser. His heart really shouldn’t be pounding this hard. They’d done this before. These almost-dates. Quiet-never-quite-said-dates. Romantic, sort of, but could be mistaken for anything by the table beside them. Business. Friends catching up.
“Did you want me to lie around naked all evening?” Luke asked.
Saint arched a brow, but he didn’t reply and Luke smiled down at the brown belt he was weaving through his slacks.
“Why are you dressed like that?” Saint stepped in a slow arc around him, as if he needed every detail of Luke. Maybe there was something wrong with Luke’s heart. Maybe love didn’t make everyone feel this way. But it was nice. He wanted Saint to make him explode, actually, he really kind of did.
Logan was on the subway with Finn. They were probably standing or sitting pressed together. Maybe kissing once or twice. Luke had kissed Saint in an Uber, dark and out of view of the driver’s mirror.
“You’re going to be dressed like this, too, in a second,” Luke said.
“Why?”
Logan, talking about Leo coming back from his trip home. That night at that one bar, Logan had spent nearly the whole time pressed into Leo’s side just…content. Just at ease. So at ease.
Luke walked forward and took Saint’s face between his hands. Water dripped from Saint’s hair onto the cuffs of his shirt. Little dark droplets that would dry and fade. He kissed Saint once, then looked at his closed eyes and did it again.
“I’m taking you on a date,” Luke said.
Saint’s eyes opened. He had his mask up, the one he wore over his expressions on the ice. He looked Luke up and down, then moved out of his reach and went to the dresser. His eyes snagged on Luke’s phone, which he’d left open to Finn’s restaurant.
In the mirror, Luke caught a glimpse of a small, bitten back smile.
~
Finn steered them into a liquor store where they picked up small bottles of rum, gin, and tonic.
“I don’t know, it’s probably BYOB?” Finn said, though Logan hadn’t asked. He loved Finn and Leo in these stores, chatting up the sellers, asking advice. “The address is an apartment not a bar. We’ll stop at a corner shop and get you soda.”
Logan let Finn lead. He snapped a photo of Finn examining a wine label and Leo replied hot.
Finn made quick conversation with the man at the bodega, then found them a subway and grinned back at Logan as they walked down the stairs to the sound of a train rushing into the platform.
“You gonna hop it again if I dare you?” Finn asked as he took his phone out to pass them through to the platform.
“Shut up,” Logan replied without looking at him. Finn laughed at him but placed a kiss on the back of his neck.
The train to Brooklyn was crowded, but Finn spied one free seat and motioned Logan towards it.
“You sit,” Logan said. “You’re holding all the bags.”
Finn narrowed his eyes but complied. “I feel unchivalrous.”
“Un—what about a horse?”
“What?”
“Un cheval.”
“Ooh. Yeah, I have no idea.” Finn pulled Logan in until he was standing between his thighs. Logan held onto the rail above them and watched Finn’s eyes drop to the strip of skin it exposed as his shirt rode up. Finn steadied Logan with hands on the backs of his knees, the bottles clinking gently in the bag on his lap. He glanced at the two people beside them, eyeing the headphones over their ears and their noses in their phones, before playfully biting at the waistband of Logan’s shorts, laughing when Logan tangled his fingers in his hair and tugged his head back.
“Tu es un peu chahuteur.”
“Hm,” Finn said. “Eye level.”
Logan just shook his head. He was trying to decide if he was crazy for how Finn caused such a happy pressure in his chest, when he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. When he checked it, Finn tilted Logan’s phone down to see, then leaned back in his seat.
Logan laughed. “You’re such a baby. Luke’s just asking me if he looks okay for a date.” He turned the phone around. “There, you can see. I think he does.”
Finn glanced at the picture, then turned away in a huffy sort of way.
“Rouge.”
Finn made a show of adjusting the bag of bottles in his lap. He didn’t look up when he said, “Tell him to put a brown belt on instead of black. It’s softer.”
Logan smiled, leaned down to kiss Finn’s head, and typed on his phone. He heard Finn mumble something that sounded a bit like yeah, whatever.
Another text appeared. “He wants to know your favorite restaurants. Little bit fancy.”
“My favorite?”
“You did grow up here, so.” Logan was having a little bit of fun with the pink heat spreading across Finn’s cheeks. His ears. He reached out and rubbed a thumb over the warm shell of his left one. “Where would you take Le and I? Little bit fancy. Summer night. Nothing too heavy, have to play tomorrow…”
Finn worried the inside of his cheek for a moment, eyes on one of the subway ads behind Logan’s head. Finally, he sighed and took Logan’s phone. He typed an address and restaurant name into the text and hit send.
“Merci,” Logan said. “He says thanks.”
Logan let go of the above-head railing completely as the train pulled into another stop, letting people off. The two beside them hardly looked up and didn’t budge. Logan leaned more heavily into the cradle of Finn’s thighs, stabilizing himself as the train jostled forward again. He cupped Finn’s chin gentle and made him look up.
“I love you,” Logan said.
“I’m not jealous of him. I love that you have him, I’d be a horrible person if I didn’t, not to mention a terrible boyfriend,” Finn said. “I’m just—I’m jealous that he gets to see you every day.”
Logan put his fingers back in Finn’s hair, gentler this time. Finn closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.
“I know, Rouge.”
A whole season, Logan thought, not for the first time. How am I supposed to go a whole season without this?
They stood at the address’s buzzer for a few unanswered moments before texting Leo who told them to go around the alley and enter a gateway through the back. It led them to a courtyard, lit up by warm, white lights strung overhead. It was a crowded space, loud with laughter and music. Logan moved around the sparse lawn furniture, which was set out in odd pairs like different pieces had been left behind by different people. Leo. He just needed to spot Leo. Finn was looking, too, eyes scanning the crowd.
Finally, Logan found him, hitting Finn to get him to look. Leo was standing with three people, all of whom were listening to him tell a story. He was wearing a shirt Logan didn’t recognize, a lovely light blue color, and it was unbuttoned enough for Logan to see the pendant of his fleur-de-lis necklace. His chest and collarbones looked warm in the lights strung above the courtyard.
“Jesus,” Finn said. “Look at him.”
Logan chose that moment to trip a little on a loose stone, and Finn caught him with a hand on his chest but laughed so loudly a few people looked at them. Logan bit back a smile and shoved Finn.
“Fuck off.”
Finn just slipped their hands together and began to pull him in Leo’s direction. Logan pulled back, though.
“Wait.”
Finn looked at him, then at Leo, then back. “What? Why?”
“I think we shouldn’t interrupt,” Logan said. “Let’s just…” Logan was enjoying how lit up Leo looked, how much he deserved to be the center of attention like that. “Get his attention, but give him a second.”
Finn wasn’t subtle about it. He waved his hand above his head until the motion caught Leo’s eye then made a heart with his hands and pointed to the table filled with drinks. Leo grinned and nodded. His circle looked, too, and Logan smiled and looked down with hot cheeks when he saw Leo’s mouth form the words, those are my boyfriends.
At the drinks table, Finn’s hands were already swiftly pouring what looked like a gin and tonics.
“Ew,” Logan said.
“They’re for Leo and I,” Finn laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Or I would, if you gave me elbow room.”
Logan pushed closer to him. Finn didn’t complain, just settled a hand on the back of Logan’s neck and began pouring coke into a cup one-handed.
“Well, this is familiar. Drinks table, loud music. Mixing you a drink.” Finn reached for the rum. “You gonna watch me flirt with girls from across the room?”
“Ouais.”
Finn raised his eyebrows, looking up from where he was pouring. “Ways? What do you mean ways?”
“Then I’m going to come over and show them you are mine.” Logan took the cup Finn had now filled with ice. “I’d like to do it a few times, actually. Just because I can now. Go talk to someone and I’ll wait five minutes for them to fall in love with you, and then I’ll come over.”
Finn just picked up his and Leo’s drinks, shaking his head, but he was grinning hard. “You think it takes five minutes?”
“It took me two, I think.”
Finn clicked his tongue, but put a foot out to stop Logan from walking. “Come here, Ten, fuck.”
His kiss was soft, even quick, but Logan was surrounded by voices and lights, he could smell the rum in his drink, and it was almost as if he was eighteen and getting everything he’d ever wanted.
“It took me one,” Finn said, then laughed and walked away from Logan’s eye-roll.
When they turned, Leo was already watching them and grinning.
“You’re here.” Leo called when they weaved their way through the crowd. “I—oh, thank you, sweetheart.” He took the drink Finn held out and accepted a quick kiss. “Y’all, this is Finn and Logan. This is Amanda, Harper, and John—it’s Harper’s birthday, this is her place.”
Logan used the introduction time to move around to Leo’s other side. He was more interested in Leo’s lean back in that shirt than whose birthday it was.
“Happy birthday,” he said, offering a small smile to a girl with a pretty bob and brown eyes.
“Thank you,” Harper smiled. “Thanks for coming—wait, which one is which? Logan, Finn, Finn, Logan…”
Finn raised his hand. “Finn.” He pointed. “Logan.” Logan watched as Finn slipped right into his element. “Happy birthday. Wow, this is a great place—courtyard in the city is such a score.”
“Oh my god, right?” John said. Logan met his eyes and realized he had been watching Logan take in Leo. Logan smiled back, maybe a little awkwardly, then looked down at his drink.
“Seriously,” Harper said. “I’m not even sure how I got so lucky.”
“How’d you find it?” Finn asked.
Logan let every part of himself relax. This was a rhythm he loved. Finn, launching into a conversation so easily that he hardly had to say anything, hardly had to do anything except feel it when Leo put an arm around his shoulders and turned his head down for a kiss.
“Hi, Lo,” Leo said in his ear. He carded a quick hand through Logan’s hair. “Oh my God, I didn’t realize it was getting kind of long. I love it. How are you?”
“Good,” Logan said. “You look really good.”
That brought Leo’s smile to a new light. “Thanks, I bought this today. You like it?”
Logan nodded, reaching forward to touch one of the small, white buttons. They had a slight sheen to them.
“Thanks for coming,” Leo said. “I know you’ve got training tomorrow.”
“I missed you this morning, I wanted to be with you.”
Logan knew he should let Leo keep up with the conversation around them, even if he just wanted to ask how his day was, and what he did, and where he got the shirt so Logan could get him more of that blue color.
Leo squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll come to the gym with you tomorrow, I think.”
Logan smiled. “That’ll definitely make it go faster.”
“Wait,” said Harper suddenly, drawing their attention. “So, you’re like—actually…I don’t even know what to call it—like you’re in a playoffs right now.”
Logan blinked, but figured Finn must have said something.
“I was explaining we met through hockey,” Finn said. “And John said I looked familiar, so I was saying about Alex and such, maybe he’s seen his face around.”
“Oh.” Logan took a quick sip of his drink. “Ouai—Yeah. So, we’re about to start the final round. I fly to Colorado the day after tomorrow for the first game.”
“How many games are there?” the other girl—Amanda?—asked.
Logan felt himself smile a little, and noticed Leo and Finn doing the same.
Amanda flushed a bit. “Sorry, that’s probably a stupid question.”
“Non, non,” Logan said quickly, mixing with Leo and Finn’s protests. “Non, it’s—Really, it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t as, ah…” He looked at Finn, trying to find what he would have said in this situation. What was the thing he said? “Ah, wrapped up as we are in all of it.”
He paused, but Finn stayed quiet and the others were looking at him. “Um. Well, there could be four games, if one of us wins straight in a row.”
“A sweep,” Leo chimed in.
“Or there could be seven, if we really go back and forth.”
“And they’re all in Colorado?”
“Non, we trade off. Colorado, New York.”
“Damn,” John said. “That’s a lot of travel.”
“Tell me about it,” Leo said.
“So…” Harper gestured her drink between the three of them. “You’re all on different teams? That must be hard.”
Leo’s hand tightened around Logan’s waist. He saw Finn glance away.
“Ah, non. We were all on the Lions—Gryffindor’s team?”
“Oh, I love Gryffindor,” Amanda said. “My best friend moved there this past summer.”
Logan flashed a brief smile. “Ouais.” He nodded to Leo and Finn. “They’re still there. I got traded to New York a little while ago.”
“Oh.” John frowned. “Wow. I’m—is it weird to say I’m sorry? That feels weird.”
“Oh, no,” Finn assured him. “Believe me, we’re all sorry.”
“Hey, there are fights in hockey, right?” Amanda asked more brightly. “Do any of you do that?”
Regulus’ laugh reached them before he stepped up on Logan’s other side. “Wow. You two have been here for four minutes and we’ve already got the place flooded with hockey talk.”
“Guilty,” Finn said.
“Wait, so are you, like, famous to some people? To fans? Like would people stop you in the street?”
Logan just raised his eyes at Regulus. They obviously didn’t know who his brother was.
“Yep, got a couple of celebrities in our presence.” Regulus raised his eyebrows right back. “Bow down, I guess.”
“Oh, stop,” Leo laughed. “Finn, honey, come here, I want you to meet someone you’ll like. Lo?”
“Ouais, just going to get some more ice.” It was so hot, even with the sun lowering in the sky, that his drink was little more than watery soda.
When he found the ice again, it was also watery mush. Logan pushed a hand through his hair, cursing softly when it got caught on a knot. Leo was right, it was getting a little long, curling just at the back of his neck.
“Salut.”
Regulus had followed him apparently. He stood on the other side of the table a bit awkwardly, hands in the pockets of his shorts. His t-shirt said I can’t, the Rangers are playing.
Logan laughed, pointing. “I didn’t notice that.”
Regulus smiled and replied in French. Thank God, Logan thought. He was already tired. “A little inside joke. Sirius was livid.”
“Ha, I bet he was.”
“Here. Fresh ice,” He pushed a cooler Logan’s way.
“Ah, great. Hey, thanks for inviting us. I know you probably don’t want all the hockey stuff around but—”
“Non, non,” Regulus said quickly. “I mean, yes. But that’s not—I don’t mind so much anymore. Obviously.” He gestured to his shirt. “Just needed a break, you know? A clean slate for a while.”
Logan nodded. “I get it.”
“Thanks for coming. You’ve got a lot going on right now.”
“Non, it’s a great break. And I’m trying to soak up as much time with the boys as possible, so.”
“You do have a whole summer for that.”
Logan smiled. “But it’s a short summer.” He used a fresh cup to scoop some ice into his drink. “Oh, before I forget.” He checked behind him, but Leo and Finn were across the courtyard. “I got us a cottage for the wedding. When you’re not with Sirius, you should come over and hang out.”
“Oh. That’s cool.”
“The boys don’t know. It’s a surprise.”
“How long are you guys staying up there?”
“Just a week. But we’ll be leaving Loops and Cap—or.” Logan rolled his eyes at himself.
Regulus laughed. “Habit.”
“Yes. One that my new team is not a fan of. But anyway, we’ll all be leaving them alone so, if you want, you should come stay? I know Leo will like that. Finn and I, too. It’s got, like, six bedrooms, so. And a dock. The family I got it from said we can use their boat—motor and sail.”
Regulus took a sip of his drink—Logan couldn’t tell what it was with the opaque red cup. “I’d really like that. If it’s all right.”
“It’s more than all right. I might invite my friend Luke and—and Saint.”
“Deveaux and Montague?”
“Ouais. You can bring someone, if you want.”
“Oh.” Logan swore Regulus’ eyes found someone in the crowd. “Ha, maybe.”
Logan looked over again to see Finn and Leo talking to two girls. He recognized their shared glances and the way they leaned in to catch every word Finn said. His entire chest got warm when he saw Leo switch his drink from one hand to the other and put his hand low on Finn’s back.
“You and my brother are still close.” Regulus said it like a statement, drawing Logan’s attention back to him. Then he added, “Right?”
Logan took a drink, tilting ice into his mouth. “Always.”
Regulus nodded. “Right.”
Logan looked at him, waiting for more, but Regulus didn’t offer anything right away. There was a plastic box of cookies on the table and Logan pointed to them.
“Just cookies? Nothing that’s going to make morning skate rough?”
Regulus smiled. “Yeah, just cookies.”
He took one, too, as if to prove it. “Do you think of him as a brother? Sirius. I know he thinks of you that way.”
Logan paused with the cookie halfway up to his mouth. He wasn’t sure if he was overthinking that question—especially coming from Regulus.
“I mean, obviously not like you. But, yeah, I think of him like that.” Logan took another sip, the rum sweet on his tongue. “Just with—Pascal and everything. And I could speak French with him. And we were with each other when, you know. The pictures. My trade. He’s one of my closest friends.”
Regulus nodded. He stopped nodding, and then nodded again. He snapped the cookie in half and chewed slowly.
“I’m glad he had that,” Regulus said finally. “I was just… All this wedding stuff. He’s got so many people.”
Logan nodded. “Ouais. Yeah, he does.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Logan could see Finn and Leo extracting themselves from the girls.
“He’d give us all up for you, though,” Logan said.
Regulus blinked, eyebrows going up. “I wouldn’t want him to do that.”
“I know.” Logan felt Leo’s hands on his waist, laughing at something Finn had said. He had about two more seconds, holding Regulus’ eyes, to make sure he knew. “But he would.”
Even once Finn and Leo started talking at the same time, Regulus’ gaze stayed on Logan, and he gave a pleased, conceding nod.
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louisjude · 3 hours ago
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bucktommy ficlet thingy: coffeeshop AU, age gap.
AU where 22yo Evan Buckley is still in Pennsylvania, (and out as bisexual already) who is barely making his way through community college but holds a steady job at a mom & pop coffee shop down on main street.
p.s. i wrote this all on my phone in one sitting so if there’s mistakes no there isn’t. enjoy.
Evan’s job is his solace, his happy place away from home ever since Maddie had stopped visiting and calling, at least not as often as she used to. It was good work, decent pay and hell he even kinda enjoyed it.
He’s working the front counter one day when the hottest, most gorgeous, the most handsome man he’s ever seen in his life steps up to order. For a moment, he’s lost his ability to speak which is how the two end up staring at each other awkwardly for a couple of seconds. He’s older. Probably a little too much older. His hair is wavy but styled neatly up top, silver peppering through his darker strands and the stubble on his face. He’s wearing a pair of glasses, perched on his perfectly sloped nose. He smiles a little and Evan is suddenly coming back to earth but not before he admires the way the lines around his eyes crinkle up like he’s sure the man has done a million times over through his life.
“Am I good to order?” He asked and Evan is laughing softly, though his face is bright red and burning as he grabs the little sharpie by the register.
“Yes, yeah. Sorry, it’s been a long day.”
“I’m sure. You’ve probably been getting a lot more traffic since Picasso’s shut down.”
Evan sighed with relief, because it’s true they’ve been swamped with a lot more busy mornings since the other coffee shop on the street closed a few weeks ago. “You have no idea.”
“Sorry to be one of those people. Starbucks is just *no* and I think I’d rather drink muddy water than go to Dunkin.”
Evan’s laughing again and the guy is smiling with amusement. “It’s fine, the more the merrier. So…what can I get you?”
“Can I get a red eye with just a small splash of whole milk?”
Evan puts it into the register and writers it down onto the cup, repeating it to himself as he did. “And a name?”
“Tommy.”
Tommy. “Tommy, got it.” Writing his name felt weirdly exhilarating. He puts a smiley face next to it for good measure before wimping out knowing he definitely was going to think about it the rest of the night and feel embarrassed about it.
He lets Tommy swipe his card to put his order through and got to work on the drink.
Listen, Evan liked his job well enough and he never really slacked off but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t being insanely meticulous making the easiest order possible for Tommy.
He topped the drink off with a small splash of whole milk just like Tommy said and brought it to the little pick-up counter. “Here you are.” Evan said as he went to set the drink down but Tommy’s grabbing it from his hand. Their fingers brush and Evan isn’t thinking about it because how juvenile would that be?
“Thank you. How late are you guys open by the way?”
Evan blinked and looked away when the bell on the door rang as another customer stepped inside. “We’re open until nine, Sir.”
“Great, thanks. Have a good day, Evan.”
That wouldn’t be the last time Evan sees Tommy. In fact he was back the next day, though with a much less intense order before he’s holing up in the corner of the shop on his laptop. In fact, Tommy becomes a new regular at the shop, either ordering his regular black coffee or something so caffeinated it makes Evan feel like he’ll start to get palpitations just making it. It just depended on the day or rather his mood.
Evan figured he must be working, hunched over his laptop, rubbing his eyes from under his glasses every so often. He wondered what he did for a job. The two didn’t get to speak often but every time they did always felt charged. It was hard to tell though, if Tommy was actually flirting back with him or if he was just being nice. Usually he never had any issues picking up what someone was putting down but Tommy. Tommy made Evan feel like he was melting into a puddle just from his mere presence. It was unlike any crush he’d ever had.
One night as Evan’s closing, he makes his rounds around the shop clearing tables, wiping them down as his coworker cleaned up the front counter. He gets to Tommy’s table where the man looks up from his laptop and checks his watch, which for some reason made Evan’s go a little insane since.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the time.”
“It’s fine! There’s still 30 minutes ‘til we’re technically closed, just getting a head start.” Evan bit at his lip, looking down to where Tommy was packing his things up.
“Still, I might be old but I try not to be like all the other assholes who think coming in five minutes before close is totally okay to do.” Tommy chuckled softly to himself.
“Pfft, you’re not that old.” Evan scoffed, leaning on the table with a little teasing grin as Tommy zipped up his bag. He’d found out only a few weeks ago that Tommy was 40 when he’d come in and mentioned it was his birthday.
“My back would argue that.”
That made Evan laugh and Tommy gave him that look he always did, the same one he’d given him the first time they’d met.
“Well, I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Uhm-!” He didn’t know why he sounded so distressed, mentally smacking himself in the face as Tommy looked up at him.
“Yes?”
“Sorry, I uh…Sorry. I don’t even know if you’re—and I’m now realizing how stupid this is.” What in the hell am I doing? He thought to himself. Was he seriously trying to ask him out? Just randomly like that with no thought behind it? “You know what, forget I even came over here.”
“Evan.”
He’d only just turned around when Tommy said it, stopping in his tracks. “Yeah?”
“Are you free this Saturday?”
That has Evan turning around so fast he’s sure to give himself whiplash. “Saturday?”
“Yeah, are you working?”
“No.” His heart is pounding in his chest.
“Would you want to get dinner with me?”
Evan felt like everything swirling around him and suddenly he very aware of his every movement, shifting his weight from one side to the other. “Like a date?”
“Like a date.” Tommy smiled and his eyes crinkled.
Evan was going to die. “Yes.” He was seriously going to die. Seriously.
“Great. Let me, hmm…” Tommy felt around and pulled a pen out from his bag and grabbed a napkin from the table. He jotted down what Evan could only assume was his number and handed it over to him. “Text me and we can work the details.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Evan started to laugh and Tommy did it again. The look. “Sorry, it’s just, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for weeks but had no clue—“
“Evan, you’re adorable.”
His face was beet red again.
“Text me, alright?”
“I will, get home safe.”
“You too.”
Evan watched Tommy leave that night and texted him the moment he was home.
One date turned into two dates. Two turned into four and four turned into eight. It’s a month into dating that Evan asked if Tommy was his boyfriend to which Tommy laughed and asked him if he wanted him to be. Of course he said yes. It’s two months into dating that Evan tells his parents he’s seeing someone, a guy, and it’s another month before they’re asking when they’ll get to meet him.
”He’s a little older…”, “Well, does he make you happy?”, “Yes.”, “Then I don’t see how a few years is anything to raise concern for.”
What Evan didn’t mention was a few years was actually eighteen. Maybe they didn’t need to know. It was probably better they didn’t actually.
It’s another month after that, four months into dating Tommy that Evan is pacing around the front door waiting for Tommy to knock on the door. It felt a little ridiculous, like he was 14 again and introducing his first girlfriend to his parents. Except this is a lot more real, a lot more serious.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
Evan is quick to open the door, seeing Tommy standing there in his signature henley top, glasses perched right on his nose as always and a warm smile. The two share a quick kiss before he’s pulling Tommy inside, nervous as hell but…his parents were trying, so Evan was trying.
He walks them into the dining area where his mom is still setting the table and his dad is in the kitchen. “Uhm, mom, dad. This is Tommy.”
“Oh, it is so nice to finally meet you, we—“ Margaret had started before Phillip walked into the room, a bit stunned.
“Mr. Kinard?”
“Mr. Buckley.”
The room suddenly felt tense. Weird. His mother looking back and forth between the two before her hand is coming up to cover her mouth as she gasped.
Then, his dad turned to him, with a look he couldn’t quite discern.
“Evan. Is there a reason you’ve brought home my coworker as your boyfriend?”
end.
notes since a lot of details are missing: Tommy and Phillip are both teachers at the same school. Buck being Buck never thought to put two and two together. I use “Evan” because I feel like it and it’s an AU where none of the 118 is even present so 💃 I’d love to read this as an actual well thought out fanfic but I’m simply unable to force myself to write one, the idea is free reign thought for anyone who’d like to.
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evergreen-endo · 3 days ago
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you are literally crazy if you thought i wasn't gonna write this for my pookiepies too. + some extras.
18+ minors dni. perverted jack off/cum analysis ft. takiishi chika, endo yamato, kanon banjo, hiragi toma. pt. 1 here.
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takiishi has such a pretty cock. long and tanned and veiny. a hard dick is such an inconvenience to him though. doesn’t really jack off with the intention of self pleasure, just taking care of business. it does always make him feel much better though. he just doesn’t do it that frequently! when he does, he’s pretty quick because he knows what he likes and how to cum as fast as possible. another one that prefers to stand so he can cum into something; like a sink, the shower, whatever. gets really breathy when he’s close. soft grunts and groans as he’s cumming. literally like…squeezes the cum out of the tip of his cock. can i say something? i’m going to say something. and listen. i love this man, i really do. but his cum is foul. all he eats is junk. i really do not think he ever drinks water. it is so, so thick. thickest of all the windbreaker men. and i’m not going to lie to you, it’s the kind that is like super gloopy, and sticky, and tinged more of a creamy yellowish color. it’s a bitch to clean up. and he cums a lot, and has so much stamina. 
endo is so slutty with it. leaks so much precum. noisy as all hell, whines and whimpers and moans and gasps. throws his head back a lot, rolls his eyes back into his skull, thrashes around and bucks his hips. edges himself sometimes but he’s just a bit too impatient to do it properly. if he wants to cum, he wants to cum now. the day he discovered his nipples were sensitive he nearly exploded on the spot. gathers up some precum on his fingers so he can tweak and pinch at them while he works himself with his other hand. talks dirty like he’s not alone. so good, so so so good. just like that, yeahyeahyeah. fuck you’re gonna make me cum. gonna make a mess. and he does. strokes so much faster when he’s about to cum because he gets desperate so even if he were to shoot beautiful perfect ropes clean onto his abs, it ends up flying all over the place from the force of jerking his dick around. so out of breath and panting and gulping when he finishes because his mouth is so dry from having it hung open while he plays with himself. also! gets morning wood real real bad. humps his pillows, humps the bed, muffles his moans biting into the sheets, really likes being able to move his hips and thrust into something. again, he makes a huge mess. sweat everywhere he lays from exertion, spit soaked sheets and drool, and of course, cum all over his abdomen and the pillowcases. 
kanon banjo is a SLUT. WHORE. and a SKANK. (affectionate). ahem. let me elaborate. he is so depraved. bites his lip till he damn near starts bleeding, the type to get really delirious and giggle and smile with pleasure. realllyyyy likes cock rings. he gets so sensitive and whiny and whimpery, twitches like crazy. edges himself till his tip is bright red. pinches the fuck out of his nipples like can someone get him some clamps. does a lot of breath play! holds his breath for as long as he can, hangs his head off the edge of his bed…genuinely might be stupid enough to try autoerotic asphyxiation but i’m not gonna get into it LOL. anyway. cums hard every time. his cock is so restricted the cum spurts out in forks, like three separate streams shooting out of his tip….n then it sets off his cum kink and he’s gotta scoop it all up and use it as lube for a second round.
hiragi the man that you are. jacking off is the stress release/medicine he can only get in private! gets home from something stressful and beelines to the bathroom to unzip his pants and whip it out. i mean, he strains against those leather pants all day, giving it some fresh air feels good in and of itself. not taking his pants off fully puts a little pressure on his balls and he likes that. sighs so heavy when he wraps his hand around it. def the type to end up fucking into his hand, hips moving more than his arm is. so much deep sighing. his tummy clenches up really pretty when he’s close, and when he finally cums, he lets out lots of sounds that seem really frustrated; breathy, choked groans and strained grunts. i think his cum is a really good consistency, not too thick or thin, but the actual streams seem thin because it shoots so far! he kinda likes the sound it makes when it drips onto the floor. will purposefully move a towel or rug out of the way so he can hear it go plap onto the tiles.
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jackactuallywrites · 2 days ago
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All Seeing, All Knowing, All Loving part 15
Warnings: None
Summary: You find a pretty dress in a charity shop! And who you gonna show it to? Hmmm
Word Count
ao3 link
It had been a productive day of shopping. Of course, your initial plan hadn’t actually been to buy anything; you were only supposed to go there to look at things, touch some nice textures, have a drink and something sweet, and then go home. But you hadn’t planned on the dress.
Why such a beautiful dress was stuffed in the back of an Oxfam was beyond you. It looked as though it had come from some royal princess, all expensive black satin, with an off-the-shoulder neckline and a full skirt. Destiny clearly had a hand in things, as not only was it in your size, but it was also under a hundred pounds. It was still a little expensive, more than you would have considered spending on a normal dress, but there was something special about it. It was giving vintage Christian Dior- the new look. It wasn’t actually one of his gowns; of course, that would have been too lucky, but that didn’t make it any less beautiful.
“Buy it.” Katie was very certain in her opinion of the dress, “Buy it, and then get fucked in it.”
“Can’t I just wear it?”
She shrugged, “I mean if you want to be boring, sure. But a dress like that deserves an event, an occasion, you know? Something special.”
You gave it a little twirl on the hanger, watching the skirt billow, “I don’t think I have an occasion that’s good enough for a dress like this. It’s not like I’m invited to Buckingham Palace.”
Katie snorted, “Place is full of nonces and cunts anyways, why would you want to go there?”
You snorted, “Alright, fair point. If I was to go to, uh,” you couldn’t really think of a fancy event you could feasibly go to, “yeah, no, I’m not posh enough for this dress.”
Katie took the dress from you, walking away so quickly that you didn’t have time to stop her. She went straight to the counter, where she plopped it down, already taking her card out to buy it. You protested, “Kate, come on, it’s too much.”
The woman at the counter raised an eyebrow, and Kate rolled her eyes, “Don’t pay attention to her. I’m buying this. Could you find us a bag or something to put it in, please?” The woman clearly didn’t care about your little disagreement; after all, she was in customer service; no doubt she had developed the ability to ignore all sorts of shit. She just held out the card reader for Katie to tap her card on, which she did, and then went off into the back to pack the dress into a bag.
“Kate, how am I possibly supposed to repay you for this?”
Katie rolled her eyes at you, “You know that’s not the point of friendship, right? We’ve never been the type to obsess over who owes who. You bought me coffee, I bought you a dress. Who cares?”
That was how it went with her. She worked hard, and she scrimped and saved on other aspects of her life so she could spend frivolously when she liked. A wonderful trait, really; she was generous and kind, but it had always bugged you that you could never repay her generosity the same way.
Soon enough, the woman returned with an old paper Primark bag, in which she had carefully folded the dress up and put it inside. The contrast was kind of funny. Katie picked up the bag and balanced the thin paper straps on her arm, then walked out of the shop, leaving you to quickly walk after her.
It was hard to wander around the shops after that; you had something truly decadent in your bag, expensive and wonderful, and it was hard to not cradle it to your chest like a baby at every moment, terrified that if you put it down for even a second, it would be stolen. You didn’t even dare eat near it, terrified that you’d get some sort of icing or crumb on it and ruin the fabric. Katie bought you a plastic bag just so you could double bag it for safety, and then you finally allowed yourself to eat some cake.
When Katie had finally gotten on the bus home, you texted Ghost.
‘You: You still want to give me a lift?’
It didn’t take long for him to text back.
‘Ghost: Where are you?’
You took a picture of the cafe you were sitting outside and sent it to him.
‘You: (image) You know this place?’
‘Ghost: Will be there soon. ETA 15 minutes.’
He didn’t fuck about. You took a seat on a nearby concrete planter and waited.
It didn’t take long for him to turn up, fourteen minutes later, in his little black car. You could see that he wasn’t wearing his usual balaclava. Instead, he was wearing a black surgical mask and a pair of sunglasses. Subtle.
You opened the passenger side door, and were greeted by the intoxicating smell of his cologne, as well as the quiet thumping bass of house music. It sounded like a 90s rave. You took a seat, placing your bags in the footwell and pulling the door closed behind you. Then, you turned to Ghost, your eyes flicking over the dark bruises that still littered his face. Perhaps that was why he’d chosen to wear a mask and sunglasses.
“Had a nice day?” He questioned.
You nodded, “Yeah, pretty decent. You been up to much?”
Ghost shrugged as he put the car into gear, and you put on your seatbelt, choosing not to pry.
The question came out regardless.
“So what did you do today?”
“Bit of this, bit of that.”
“You always so secretive?”
He snorted, “Part of the job.”
“Ah, right, SAS stuff.”
“Not interesting, really. Tell me about your day.”
You weren’t sure how interested Ghost was in the intricacies of shopping, but you regaled him with your day regardless, and he was nice enough to ask further questions about what you had for lunch and if you got anything from Boots. Considering the bizarre circumstances under which you’d met him, the conversation was strangely normal, just two people chit-chatting about a day. You kept the conversation going right up to your front door, “You have to see this dress I got. I swear, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life.”
“You look in a mirror every day, don’t you?”
You snorted as you opened your door, “My God. Are you made of sugar?”
“You can taste me if you like.”
That made you cackle, and you dumped your bags on the counter, “Terrible.”
Your fingers trailed over the plastic bag that contained the dress, and you looked at Ghost curiously, “Want to see the dress?”
“Of course.”
Very carefully, you undid the plastic bag and then took the paper bag out, reaching in to take the dress out, the beautiful garment still on the padded hanger. You shook it out with a flourish, “Look! Isn’t it gorgeous?”
“I’d have to see it on.”
You weren’t sure if that was a subtle way to get you out of your clothes, but you did want an excuse to get into the dress.
“Wait here.”
The dress was surprisingly annoying to get into. Satin didn’t have much give, so you had to wiggle to get it around your thighs, terrified that you’d pull too hard and rip the fabric. Now, you were faced with a different problem. The zip was annoying to get to, you had to twist to get it, and the damn thing was so small and delicate it was constantly slipping out of your fingers. You probably could have done it yourself, but then an interesting idea came to mind. You held the dress tight to your chest, covering your bare chest with the fabric, your back fully exposed to the air. Was your underwear visible at the very bottom of the open zipper? You hoped so.
You walked back into the living room, wearing only your knickers and a half-zipped-up dress. Ghost was in the kitchen, apparently making himself tea, seemingly very at home. “I need your help.”
He turned around slowly, tea in hand, his mask and sunglasses off, “What d’you-“ his voice faded as he took in the sight of you, and a slow smile spread over his bruised and battered face. “You need my help with that?”
You turned around, showing him your back, “I need you to zip me up.”
You felt exposed like this, your back turned to him, waiting awkwardly in the dim light of your room, unable to see what he was thinking.
Then, the quiet sound of footsteps on the carpet as he walked over to you and the hairs on the back of your neck prickled as you felt his presence behind you. His fingers brushed against your back as you felt him pull the fabric together, goosebumps prickling over your exposed skin as he slowly began to pull the zipper upwards. About halfway up, he paused to brush the hair off the nape of your neck, his fingers soft and gentle against your skin, letting your hair softly fall over your collarbone. His fingers paused there for a moment, taking a long, meandering path from the tip of your shoulder blade across to your spine and then straight down your back until he met with the zipper again.
A subtle shiver went through the length of your body. Christ. A single touch from the man, and you were ready to throw him into your bed. This was supposed to be you teasing him! The zip went up swiftly until the dress was pulled snugly around your body, with Ghost fastening the clasp at the back. You very quickly took a step forward away from him, needing to put a little space in between the two of you before you tried to jump his bones. The dress swooshed as you moved, a good distraction from the sheer desire coursing through your veins, and you decided to do a little spin, watching the fabric twirl out around you.
“How does it feel?” Ghost asked.
It felt like you wanted to ride him, but you didn’t verbalise that. Instead, you just smiled and brushed the fabric out, “Fancy. Might need a petticoat to really poof out the skirt, though.”
When you looked at Ghost, you could see how large his pupils were, like a cat about to pounce, his jaw tense. He looked agitated. You smiled at him, swishing the dress side to side, “What do you think?”
Ghost cleared his throat, “Think you need someplace to wear it.”
You sighed, “Well yeah, but I don’t have anywhere that calls for a dress like this.”
“I might.”
That got a raised brow from you, and you looked at him curiously, “Really? I can’t see you in a suit.”
The corners of his lips pulled up in a slight smile, “I’ve been known to wear one. When duty calls.”
“Duty calls for you to wear a suit?”
“Soldiers have dos. Occasionally.”
You tilted your head at him, “You inviting me to a fancy soldiers party as your date?”
Ghost reached out for your hand, placing his other hand on top of it, a silent, solemn promise, “The next time we have a proper mess dinner, I want you on my arm. In this dress.”
It was impossible not to smile at that, and you gave him a little mock curtsy, “I’d be delighted to.”
“So,” Ghost began, gently pulling on your hands to bring you closer to him, “You need help getting out of this dress?”
You put your hand out to keep some space between you, your fingers coming into contact with his chest. Even though there was the thick material of his black jumper between your hands and his skin, it was thrilling. Yet, you could see a slight tautness in Ghost’s jaw, a slight furrowing of his brows. Something was wrong.
“You alright?”
Ghost cleared his throat and took a step back from you, dropping your hand, “Yeah, no, I’m fine.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “I just, I should get going.”
He’d been trying to get you out of your dress, but now it seemed like he was trying to flee. You couldn’t figure out where things had gone wrong. He turned away from you to go to the kitchen to grab his mask and sunglasses from where he’d dumped them on the counter, covering his face up once again. He made a gesture for you to turn around when he returned to the living room, and you did so, turning your back to him. This time, he avoided touching your bare skin as he undid the clasp and pulled the zip halfway down, far enough down where you could do the rest easily.
You turned around to him, trying to scan him for any sort of upset, but it was impossible to read anything under the sunglasses and mask, probably by design. He reached out to touch your cheek, his fingers softly grazing against your skin, before he abruptly turned and left.
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javierduffy · 22 days ago
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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….
#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped#ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable#i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will#never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt#which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm#i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas#usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about#javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3#i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial#response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely#all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re#minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from#the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry#idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters#rdr2#image#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran#just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag#javieran#as normal though
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alagaisia · 2 years ago
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I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal
I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).
All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security
And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.
#struggled with not sounding *too* pretentious here#I don’t feel pretentious but I have a hard time talking about like. specific choices and things in any detail#like to my friends I just said what happened with a picture of my outfit and was like ‘and she gets it!’ and they were like ‘yeah!’#but to strangers I have to go into much more detail to get the point across#even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’#in accordance with my personal fashion preferences#and then having to explain those preferences like ‘my name is alagaisia midge maisel darkness way and I’m wearing vintage whatever’#i do look so cute though#i got these shoes last summer and then lost the heel cap off of one of them the very first time i wore them#finally took them in to have them fixed last week so I could wear them to the wedding#needed a deadline so that I would actually get around to it#i hate flying it’s really a testament of how much I love my friend that I’m flying#instead of driving ten hours to Nebraska#but it made more sense and to make sure i won’t be late or run into car trouble or anything#and I’ll stay looking nice right away instead of getting gross and sweaty in the car or having to change for bachelorette activities#i only know the bride so I’m definitely going to make a very specific impression on all of these strangers lol#i joked with my dad about adopting a trans Atlantic accent for the whole weekend just for shits and giggles#turns out you cannot do it over the top. have you ever listened to JFK’s ‘we choose to go to the moon’ speech#it’s very silly sounding#we had a good time saying things one might say at a bachelorette party in a goofy voice#‘we cho~ose to ohdah thihs maiule strippah… ahnd the othah things.. nawt becahse it is easyh..#but becawhse he is hahd’#highly recommend#mine#personal
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bending-sickle · 1 month ago
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it’s so fun how i’m not allowed to be frustrated or upset without my brother and mother ganging up on me for being frustrated or upset
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acourtofquestions · 3 months ago
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KINGDOM OF ASH (by SJM)
Chapter 48
THE FAMILY REUINION🥹😆😭🫶& MY SOULLL
But when they reached Princess Hasar's battle tent, when they had all gathered around a map of Anielle, they had only a few minutes of discussion before they were interrupted. By the person Chaol least expected to walk through the flaps.
A moment later, Chaol was glad he was sitting down.
Nesryn breathed, "Holy gods."
Chaol was inclined to agree as Aelin Galathynius, Rowan Whitethorn, and several others entered the tent.
They were mud-splattered, the Queen of Terrasen's braided hair far longer than Chaol had last seen. And her eyes ... Not the soft, yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.
Chaol shot to his feet. "I thought you were in Terrasen," he blurted. All the reports had confirmed it. Yet here she stood, no army in sight.
Three Fae males-towering warriors as broad and muscled as Rowan—had entered, along with a delicate, dark-haired human woman.
But Aelin was only staring at him. Staring and staring at him.
No one spoke as tears began sliding down her face. Not at his being here, Chaol realized as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin.
But at him. Standing. Walking.
The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy and flung her arms around his neck. Pain lanced down his spine at the impact, but Chaol held her right back, every question fading from his tongue.
Aelin was shaking as she pulled away. "I knew you would," she breathed, gazing down his body, to his feet, then up again. "I knew you'd do it."
"Not alone," he said thickly. Chaol swallowed, releasing Aelin to extend an arm behind him. To the woman he knew stood there, a hand over the locket at her neck.
Perhaps Aelin would not remember, perhaps their encounter years ago had meant nothing to her at all, but Chaol drew Yrene forward. "Aelin, allow me to introduce"
"Yrene Towers," the queen breathed as his wife stepped to his side.
The two women stared at each other.
Yrene's mouth quivered as she opened the silver locket and pulled out a piece of paper. Hands trembling, she extended it to the queen. Aelin's own hands shook as she accepted the scrap.
"Thank you," Yrene whispered.
Chaol supposed it was all that really needed to be said.
Aelin unfolded the paper, reading the note she'd written, seeing the lines from the hundreds of foldings and rereadings these past few years.
"I went to the Torre," Yrene said, her voice cracking. "I took the money you gave me, and went to the Torre. And I became the heir apparent to the Healer on High. And now I have come back, to do what I can. I taught every healer I could the lessons you showed me that night, about self-defense. I didn't waste it-not a coin you gave me, or a moment of the time, the life you bought me." Tears were rolling and rolling down Yrene's face. "I didn't waste any of it."
Aelin closed her eyes, smiling through her own tears, and when she opened them, she took Yrene's shaking hands. "Now it is my turn to thank you." But Aelin's gaze fell upon the wedding band on Yrene's finger, and when she glanced to Chaol, he grinned.
"No longer Yrene Towers," Chaol said softly, "but Yrene Westfall."
Aelin let out one of those choked, joyous laughs, and Rowan stepped up to her side.
Yrene's head tilted back to take in the warrior's full height, her eyes widening-not only at Rowan's size, but at the pointed ears, the slightly elongated canines and tattoo. Aelin said, "Then let me introduce you, Lady Westfall, to my own husband, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius."
For that was indeed a wedding band on the queen's finger, the emerald mud-splattered but bright. On Rowan's own hand, a gold-and-ruby ring gleamed.
"My mate," Aelin added, fluttering her lashes at the Fae male. Rowan rolled his eyes, yet couldn't entirely contain his smile as he inclined his head to Yrene.
Yrene bowed, but Aelin snorted. "None of that, please. It'll go right to his immortal head." Her grin softened as Yrene blushed, and Aelin held up the scrap of paper. "May I keep this?" She eyed Yrene's locket. "Or does it go in there?"
Yrene folded the queen's fingers around the paper. "It is yours, as it always was. A piece of your bravery that helped me find my own."
Aelin shook her head, as if to dismiss the claim.
But Yrene squeezed Aelin's closed hand. "It gave me courage, the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled, every long hour I studied and worked, it gave me courage. I thank you for that, too."
Aelin swallowed hard, and Chaol took that as excuse enough to sit again, his back giving a grateful tinge. He said to the queen, "There is another person responsible for this army being here." He gestured to Nesryn, the woman already smiling at the queen. "The rukhin you see, the army gathered, is as much because of Nesryn as it is because of me."
A spark lit Aelin's eyes, and both women met halfway in a tight embrace. "I want to hear the entire story," Aelin said. "Every word of it." Nesryn's subdued smile widened. "So you shall. But later." Aelin clapped her on the shoulder and turned to the two royals still by the desk. Tall and regal, but as mud-splattered as the queen.
Chaol blurted, "Dorian?"
Rowan answered, "Not with us." He glanced to the royals.
"They know everything," Nesryn said
"He's with Manon," Aelin said simply.
Chaol wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved. "Hunting for something important."
The keys. Holy gods.
Aelin nodded. Later. He'd think on where Dorian might now be later. Aelin nodded again. The full story would come then too.
Nesryn said, "May I present Princess Hasar and Prince Sartaq."
Aelin bowed—low. "You have my eternal gratitude," Aelin said, and the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen. Any shock Sartaq and Hasar had shown upon the queen bowing so low was hidden as they bowed back, the portrait of courtly grace.
"My father," Sartaq said, "remained in the khaganate to oversee our lands, along with our siblings Duva and Arghun. But my brother Kashin sails with the rest of the army. He was not two weeks behind us when we left."
Aelin glanced to Chaol, and he nodded.
Something glittered in her eyes at the confirmation, but the queen jerked her chin at Hasar. "Did you get my letter?"
The letter that Aelin had sent months ago, begging for aid and promising only a better world in return. Hasar picked at her nails. "Perhaps. I get far too many letters from fellow princesses these days to possibly remember or answer all of them."
Aelin smirked, as if the two of them spoke a language no one else could understand, a special code between two equally arrogant and proud women. But she motioned to her companions, who stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce my friends. Lord Gavriel, of Doranelle." A nod toward the tawny-eyed and golden-haired warrior who bowed.
Tattoos covered his neck, his hands, but his every motion was graceful. "My uncle, of sorts," Aelin added with a smirk at Gavriel. At Chaol's narrowed brows, she explained, "He's Aedion's father."
"Well, that explains a few things," Nesryn muttered.
The hair, the broad-planed face ... yes, it was the same. But where Aedion was fire, Gavriel seemed to be stone. Indeed, his eyes were solemn as he said, "Aedion is my pride." Emotion rippled over Aelin's face, but she gestured to the dark-haired male. Not someone Chaol ever wanted to tangle with, he decided as he surveyed the granite-hewn features, the black eyes and unsmiling mouth.
"Lorcan Salvaterre, formerly of Doranelle, and now a blood-sworn member of my court." As if that weren't a shock enough, Aelin winked at the imposing male. Lorcan scowled. "We're still in the adjustment period," she loudly whispered, and Yrene chuckled.
Lorcan Salvaterre. Chaol hadn't met the male this spring in Rifthold, but he'd heard all about him. That he'd been Maeve's most trusted commander, her most loyal and fierce warrior.
That he'd wanted to kill Aelin, hated Aelin.
How this had come about, why she was not in Terrasen with her army ... "You, too, have a tale to tell," Chaol said.
"Indeed I do." Aelin's eyes guttered, and Rowan put a hand on her lower back. Bad— something terrible had occurred. Chaol scanned Aelin for any hint of it. He stopped when he noticed the smoothness of the skin at her neck. The lack of scars. The missing scars on her hands, her palms. "Later," Aelin said softly. She straightened her shoulders, and another golden-haired male came forward. Beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. "Fenrys ... You know, I don't actually know your family name."
Fenrys threw a roguish wink at the queen.
"Moonbeam."
"It is not," Aelin hissed, choking on a laugh.
Fenrys laid a hand on his heart. "I am blood-sworn to you. Would I lie?"
Another blood-sworn Fae male in her court.
Across the tent, Sartaq cursed in his own tongue. As if he'd heard of Lorcan, and Gavriel, and Fenrys.
Aelin gave Fenrys a vulgar gesture that set Hasar chuckling, and faced the royals. "They're barely housebroken. Hardly fit for your fine company." Even Sartaq smiled at that. But it was to the small, delicate woman that Aelin now gestured. "And the only civilized member of my court, Lady Elide Lochan of Perranth." Perranth. Chaol had combed through the family trees of Terrasen just this winter, had seen the lists of so many royal households crossed out, victim to the conquest ten years ago.
Elide's name had been among them.
Another Terrasen royal who had managed to evade Adarlan's butchers.
The pretty young woman took a limping step forward, and bobbed a curtsy to the royals. Her boots concealed any sign of the source of the injury, but Yrene's attention shot right to her leg. Her ankle. "It's an honor to meet all of you," Elide said, her voice low and steady. Her dark eyes swept over them, cunning and clear. Like she could see beneath their skin and bones, to the souls beneath.
Aelin wiped her hands. "Well, that's over and done with," she announced, and strode to the desk and map. "Shall we discuss where you all plan to march once we beat the living shit out of this army?"
#NO SPOILERS PLEASE (though warning for the chapter in post & tags) this is my first read along with me & more reacts in tags etc#Chaorene Rowaelin Elorcan MOONBEAM this chapter has EVERYTHING so it needed its own post mark-if only it had Dorian than it would be PERFECT#A PROPER MAASVERSE REUINION-FULL CIRCLE-& me squealing in wivern happy in sappy like🥹 crying giggling & kicking my feet in excitement#Aelin Sardothien&HER CADRE/Court; her calling them all that — MOONBEAM finally lol how has this not come up or Lorcan tease or Rowan cheerin#she really nails these scenes-break my heart make my day-like QoS but ow&healingX100-my bbs are happy-TAB REFS-THE DYNAMICS-the wives meet!#Ivory horsehair for times of peace; the Ebony for times of war. — significance in tiny details-It was holy-the gold couch lol-SHES PREGGERS#To sit down even for a few minutes would be a blessed relief. — the difference from TOD - lol only Hasar could get interior design rn#to be the first piece of furniture in the home he'd build for his wife. For the child she carried.—shewastheoneheleastexpectedtoseeomg#holding hands even in blood-the ruler but wished to know-close to disaster-flood?that’s bad for fire/maybe she can steam-HOLY GODS INDEED#a moment later Chaol was glad he was sitting-as Aelin Galathynius Rowan Whitethorn and several others entered. Mud splattered. Too long hair#And her eyes ... Not the soft yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.-the young queens gaze again-but a queen nonetheless-HE STOOD#Not at his being here as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin But him Standing Walking-my soul needed this back-the core tale trio#The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy-broken but still joy-and flung her arms around his neck-the fact she wanted to hug him—#the ache & healing they both felt-but Chaol held her right back every question fading from his tongue.-Fire lance?-she’s shaking again#The way she gives him belief-then there she is-she remembered-her core-no one does anything alone-to say I’m happy for you & mean it vibes#hand over the locket-Yrene Towers the queen breathed as his wife stepped 2 his side The women stared at eachother-YRENE WESTFALL-notCelaena#I knew youd do it-goes both ways-Thank you-those words in this book-it was all that really needed to be said-smiling through tears#Aelin closed her eyes smiling through her own tears and when she opened them she took Yrene's shaking hands-choked joyous laughs-MY SOUL#Rowan stepped up to her side-Aelin said Lady Westfall my husband Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius-the my wife we deserved#emerald mud-splattered but bright-she sure got those emeralds dropping hints literally in EoS-pine green-Nesryn Aelin friendship core#My mate Aelin added fluttering her lashes Rowan rolled his eyes yet couldn't entirely contain his smile-next quote why I luv books/TOG#May I keep this?She eyed the locket.Or does it go in there?Its yours as it always was.A piece of ur bravery that helped me find my own#It gave me courage the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled every long hour I studied and worked it gave me courage. I thank you#A spark lit Aelins eyes&both women met halfway in a tight embrace I want to hear the entire story Aelin said Every word of it#They know everything-Ok WELL MANON lol-The keys Holy gods-the story would come then too-true queen-she bowed for them#the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen-THEY BOWED BACK-the portrait of courtly grace lol-the letter worked well#Aelin smirked as if the2of them spoke a language no one else could understand 2equally arrogant&proud women-hell yes I needed them#My friends-uncleLOL-my pride-AelinswinkLorcylol-how had this come about?-guttered-Rowan put a hand on her lower back Bad#gestureHasar😂-only civilized Lady Elides name had been crossed out-the1sthat escaped-CunningClear-she could see beneath to the soul#I am sworn2uWould I lie-cursedAs if he'd heard of LorcanGavrielFenrys-where to march once we beat the living shit out of this army-Vher
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tovarishch-dyke · 4 months ago
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One thing adulthood has taught is that you hold your tongue even if you really REALLY are about to lose it on someone
#I’m sorry that I can’t help a family member I’m trying to get him to seek mental health help but he is refusong#For reference he is trans and getting gender affirming care where he is is difficult#But I suggested to him that he needs to and very much does regardless of whether is cis or trans he needs to get medicated and see#His counselor again#I cannot help him directly from where I am bc I’m on a different continent#Another part of me wants to scream and say “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I AM TRYING TO HELP IN THE WAY THAT I CAN AND KNOW THAT IS THE MOST#ACCESSIBLE OPTION AT THE MOMENT YOU ARE REJECTING WHAT ADVICE THAT I KNOW WORKS#AND INSTEAD YOU JUST CONTINUE TO GO INTO SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS I AM TRYING TO HELP BUT YOU MUST TAKE ACTION IN THE WAYS THAT ARE#POSSIBLE AT PRESENT”#Jesus I feel like a jerk for thinking this but at the same time I just want to be like “have you any idea how young you are and how much#More time you have to figure your shit out? I don’t have that. My life is stagnated bc of the stupid choices I made#The loneliness I feel sometimes makes me insane the isolation I feel makes me go insane the fact that I am misgendered all the time#even though I have told people what my pronouns are has become my norm the fact that I will probably never marry someone the fact that I#Will have my major psychotic break at some point or another haunts me and I have taken steps to make sure I have an action plan#The fact that I will never have a career that satisfies me all of that ALL OF THAT I fucking live with everyday every goddamn day#And yet here I am. I’m here bc I have to be.”#That’s what I really wanna say but I won’t bc that’s putting shit on someone who shouldn’t have to bear that information
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yameoto · 2 months ago
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caitvi sandwich
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wives returning from war
tw; dom!caitlyn, dom!vi, f!reader, double penetration, voyeurism, masturbation, pussyfucking, pussyeating, blowjobs, overstimulation, 3some, sex if it was a competitive sport. wc; 1.8k
you are all they can think about. all fucking day. it’s a wonder they could've waited this long, really, to get home and fuck their sweet, sweet darling. by the time the door opens, they’re ready to jump your skin.
“baby,” vi gasps, bulging arms winding tight around your waist and seizing you—lifting you into the air like you weigh nothing more than a china doll. she kisses you, hard. then kisses you again, and again, and again; peppering down your jaw to your neck to your collar. they’re sloppy in their haste, nuzzling into your throat with a hefty amount of neediness.
seriously. you haven’t even put down your tea, yet.
“stop hogging her.” caitlyn complains, as she collapses back onto the couch. she angles her head upwards, and caitlyn kiramman does not pout—but the gleam of her doe-eyes is uncharacteristically sulky.
vi spins you around, much to your disgruntled (though, secretly pleased), “hey!” before she delightedly turns to caitlyn, smirking. “don’t tell me you’re jealous, little ms. dignitary.”
caitlyn scowls.
“you aren't the only person who’s missed her, you know.” she grouses, and vi just grins. “spread your legs, cupcake.”
there’s a beat in which caitlyn wearily glares, like, really? you’re ordering me around? though she concedes, legs unfolding from their elegant cross to fall open, wide and inviting.
vi promptly plops you into caitlyn’s lap.
caitlyn gasps, pupils darkening in an instant as her knees jerk upwards. she grunts, out loud, when your thighs shift—unintentionally—against her bulge. that’s all it takes, before silk is getting torn of your shoulders by pale hands, and vi is tugging the skin of your nape between her teeth, exhaling shakily against your ear. so. they were clearly on edge.
“been thinkin’ bout you all day, princess.”
“understatement.” caitlyn hisses, hips canting upwards to grind shamelessly up against your groin. oh, gods. she’s getting harder by the minute. “i seem to remember your descriptions on the ride home, vividly.”
“what can I say? it got you all hot and bothered.”
“with nowhere to take care of it.”
you swallow, cheeks hot. “do i get a say in this?”
“no. “no.” two voices resound at once, almost unintelligible with the way vi is biting into your shoulder and caitlyn has begun to ravish the expanse of your tits, like they both won’t be pleased until you leave, bruised and marked to oblivion.
hands seize your hips, flipping you easily—back onto the couch. you can’t tell whose. especially when your eyelids squeeze shut the moment a palm cups your quickly slickening cunt, rubbing over your panties.
“hah..”
“fuck. been dreamin’ bout this sweet pussy all day.” vi murmurs, hungrily, nose dragging up the insides of your thighs. she marks her way in furious nips, getting sloppier and sloppier; desperate to tongue her way to the prize.
“ha.” caitlyn’s voice is drill, yet amused. your eyes fly open when your legs are wrenched apart by large, veined hands, and vi grins up at you from between your legs.
your tea, is now unceremoniously spilled all over the floor, porclein in pieces. all in the name of seizing vi’s pink head of hair and smushing her up against your quickly soddening pussy, whining in need. she winks, the asshole, yanking silken underwear down in clumsy movements, and then her rough hands are clamping, spreading you wide open. she’s being beckoned by the heady scent of your cunt; tantalisingly all-consuming. her mouth is watering.
listen. vi wants to work you up—wants to take her time, relish each and every drop that coats your folds in that thickening glisten. it’s just—fuck, princess. d’you have to smell so goddamn good?
“can you not be patient?” caitlyn husks, and annoyance has never sounded so fucking sexy. “i’m trying to enjoy the view.” her legs have slid, to fit over your shoulders, and when your eyes flutter upwards; you’re greeted with the underside of her cock. it arcs above your head, obscuring most of your vision, and it’s enough to draw a needy little whine out of you, hips jerking upwards—right into vi’s waiting mouth.
that’s how it goes. her tongue drags, hot and flat against your swelling, puffy clit, before exhaling into your cunt like a little fucking tease before she dives in.
“who’s fuckin’ pussy is this?” vi growls, mouthing feverishly, one hand pre-occupied with jerking herself, furiously off, whilst the other slides two fingers, stretching you generously open.
“ah-ah—mm—yours.. ow—!
“ours.” caitlyn corrects, twisting your nipple sharply, in reprimand. it’s hard for her to be too mad, when you nose into the wedge of her thighs, apologetically, your hips shaking the couch—like a kitten nuzzling against an outstretched knuckle.
her gaze lowers, black and blue; and your lips part; glossy, plush, and absolutely begging for it. caitlyn can’t resist—her dick sliding its way into your open mouth.
you take her tip like a greedy thing, lips wrapping round and tongue slicking underneath, arching up for more.
“shit, darling.” caitlyn gasps, entire body shuddering, all around you. it takes everything in her not to throat-fuck you right then and there, nails digging into the fabric of the armrest, eyes rolling backwards as you nurse on her cock.
vi laughs, pleased and breathy. each tremor thrums straight to your core. her tongue swirls, panting; hot and heavy, as she pumps her fingers ever deeper, burrowing into your pussy like a woman starved. there are slurping noises, because she’s a messy fucking eater and there’s nothing she loves more than having you smeared all over her chin, her nose, her cheeks—as long as she’s salivating into your pussy. the searing coil in the pits of your stomach winds, tighter and hotter like a spring, overheating.
you can feel vi’s lips curling upwards with every clench of your thighs—hips spasming—bucking heedlessly into tongue. she fucks your head empty. in fact, all you can do is moan into caitlyn’s cock, and that sends shocks of pleasure trembling up caitlyn’s length to her spine; unable to resist pumping herself, deeper, into the warm, wet heat of your throat.
all of sudden, vi thrusts another finger inside, just as her tongue drags upwards and mouth sucks, hard on your clit. she curls, knuckles pulsing against your tight, tight walls. caitlyn seems to approve, because her slow, treacherously-shaky motions begin to stutter into frenetic jerks, breathing harsh. overwhelmed, you let out a mangled croon—back arching off the couch—pinned down two ways, by the cock in your throat and the tongue in your cunt—and promptly cum all over vi’s face.
vi licks it all up. glances upwards from between your legs, smug and pussydrunk, cum dripping from her lips. she makes a show of swiping it with her tongue, though you’re too spoiled by the warm aftershocks of pleasure wracking your body to do too much about it. caitlyn is still fucking you, trying her damndest to remain in control, but her restraint is slipping with every trickle of white that rolls down vi’s throat, and the way you tug her dick deeper into your mouth, like you were made for it.
all you can do, for the moment, is attempt to catch your breath—chest rising and falling in shallow pants as you suck on caitlyn’s cock, suctioning her in, weakly. her hips rock, and in the fuzzy whiteness that’s throbbing your brain you almost don’t realise vi is lifting up off the couch and fisting her own cock in her hands, until your pussy is being splayed open and—ah—fuck!
“hush, baby.” vi coos, almost in awe at the way your pussy gapes, loosened by her fingers and her tongue and wet, wet, wet with her saliva, your pleasure. it yawns open. takes the thick length of her girth so easily. she fucks back into you, smooth and languid, gently tracing fingers up your hips. you’re trembling in overstimulation, sensitive, sore. they always seem to find a way to leave you like that.
“look at you. takin’ me and cait so well.”
look at you, indeed. the outline of vi’s cock pumps in you, along with caitlyn’s own; one raised against your abdomen, the other down your throat. it has the two of them almost dizzy with arousal. vi buries herself inside you—fucking your aching walls in loose, hot drags; biceps tense in fighting the urge to not roughly slam you balls-deep and fuck you into the couch, like some wild animal—lest you choke on caitlyn’s dick. speaking of—
“oh, darling.” caitlyn shudders, as her balls tighten and her thighs clamp down, around you. “i think i’m—ah—“
at the last second, caitlyn jerks herself out from your mouth and aims. her load shoots out—a thick, white arc that splatters against vi’s tits and streams down her torso. there’s a viscous, glossy streak down the line of your body—like a bucket of paint knocked over.
caitlyn pants. vi ceases her motions, momentarily. glancing down at the mess, glistening down the ridges of her abdomen—and then back up at the woman, thighs locked around your head.
she smirks, chest heaving, hips still working. “wow.”
“oh, shut up.” caitlyn slurs, slumping against the armrest of the couch, temporarily satiated. her cock drizzles weakly, as she pumps it lazily in her hand, watching vi fuck you, gentle and slow—hand curling into your hair. her dick twitches.
“next time, you’re swallowing.”
a drop of leftover cum beads, down her length, and splashes on your lip. your tongue drags out, and it’s with a deliberate little arch, you lick it into your mouth. two, twinning inhales; sharp, and shaky. vi’s hips stutter. caitlyn’s eyes meet yours, dark.
oh, you’re not getting a wink of sleep, tonight.
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lizardho · 4 months ago
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I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
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chobunz · 5 months ago
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── “ something new ” ( lhs ) 📌
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๑ You and your boyfriend try face riding for the first time ever, his new #favorite position from now on.
pair: jock!heeseung ㅊ thick gf!reader | warnings: smut, dry grinding, face sitting, shaking, spanking, praise, quick death jokes, heeseung admiring you to the core, trying new things, worried reader, thirsty heeseung ftw, use of safe word | words: 918
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“fuck..” heeseung groaned, feeling your core grind on top of his clothed erect. ‘netflix and chill’, yeah it's cliché and all but it gets the sex drive going. the two of you were watching *** (show/movie name) cuddled up in bed together. you finally had the day off and what better way to spend it than with your precious, handsome boyfriend? always 100% a good time. guaranteed.
“mmh.. ‘m so wet baby.” you moaned against his mouth, if anything, after you finished you wanted his lips to be bruised, you wanted everyone to know that he had more than what he needed, you knew your worth. “you make me so wet…”
watching you ride him always struck a line in him. he was always wanting to try new things with you in the bedroom. you two have been through a series of ‘never do agains’ ‘once in a whiles’ and ‘fucking greats’, position wise. though, you were always a riding type of girl, you loved how you could feel every inch of him and even have control of him when you’re on top.
“wan’ you to ride my face this time, princess.” he breathed out as you pull away, gently caressing your skin. his hands travelled the curves of your body, all the way down to the hem of your shorts. tugging them down past your thighs.
you tip off of him to take your shorts off fully, feeling him smack your ass as in indicator to do so. “ride your face ?..” you questioned. you weren’t really sure how to ride someone’s face as you’ve never tried it before, sitting back down on his waist.
he hummed at your shyness, pulling your bottom up to his chest. “you don’ want to ?” “we don’ gotta...” he lazily spoke, not wanting you to feel pressured at all.
“no, no. i mean.. i’m definitely down. i just don’t wanna kill you..” you couldn’t help but worry, you worried about if he’d be able to breathe properly while you sat on his pretty face.
“no baby, i’d live just to die from this pussy. kill me.” he joked kissing your thigh. “wan’ you to suffocate me..” his eyes found yours biting his lip. his sight dripped from your eyes, to your lips, then your boobs, and all the way down to your wetness. he could feel the heat from your core on his bare skin.
you felt so lucky to have someone who constantly praised and worshipped you. he made you feel like a queen, which he so rightfully believed you were one. maybe even a lost princess, ready to claim the throne as yours.
and let’s not lie, you certainly did find one. which looked something like heeseung’s lap— and his face pretty soon.
๑ ๑ ๑
“heeseu.. heeseung !” your hands tugged at the strands of his hair as he licked your slate clean. you were constantly whining. your moans singing a beautiful song to heeseung’s ears.
everytime you found yourself lifting up from his mouth you felt him forcefully pulling you back down. devouring you like a lion to it’s prey. hearing him groan an ‘uhnuhn’ whenever you’d try and lighten the weight you put on his head.
his tongue entered you from time to time, stroking the side of your walls with perfection. “baby, kiwi..” you cried, patting the top of his head. when the safe word slid out of your mouth he immediately stopped.
“did i do something wrong ?” he rubbed your thighs as you shifted on top of him. the bit of worry leaving him once you hovered back over his thirsty mouth.
“mhm.. jus’ wanted to turn around..” you shakily exhaled, feeling him tighten his grip on your ass before he dove back into you.
“taste so good baby..” his hot breath fanned against your sopping core.
you brushed your fingers along his abdomen, pulling his designer briefs down far enough for his bulge to fling out. your hips rotating at just the sight alone.
“hm, no baby, just relax pretty.” he groaned, nibbling on your bud.
“please, hee..” you pleaded, rubbing his length gently.
“no, sit the fuck up.” he pulled your waist, causing you to lean up straight. a pout adorning your lips.
“but, you’re so hard baby..” “looks so good..” you grinded against his mouth once his tongue found your insides again. moaning at your neediness for him.
you felt yourself shaking just at the feel of him kissing your dewy cunt. it was so sloppy and passionate. he kissed your pussy like he loved it. and he did. he could do it for hours without complaining.
“shit.. gonna come..” you breathlessly whined.
“you’re gonna come, hmm? mama ?” he smirked against you licking through each fold. he didn’t wanna waste a single drop of you.
“yeah..” eyes closing shut at the feeling, ready to burst any minute.
“then do it.” he teased your clit, spelling out his name on the tip of your swollen bud. giggling as he could hear you falling apart above him.
“come for me baby.”
he continued praising you, cheering you on every step of the way. your legs were shaking uncontrollably.
“ugh, i’m coming.. right now..” you struggled to even speak, a last stroke of his tongue making your insides tighten. “fuck !”
your body ‘laxed on his. you were breathing heavier than ever. and even felt slight embarrassment for yourself.
“shit princess, you just squirted..” he caressed your shivering ass; licking his cumstache with a ‘good girl.’
“hmmm...”
ヾ(≧▽≦)o
want to read more ?? click here for a part 2 !!
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