#i’ll probably write some of it out soon
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marsmaximoff · 2 days ago
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🦑 hwang jun-ho; headcanons 〇△□
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content warning: gn!reader. fluff. mentions of death, coma and jealousy. pet names. no season 2 spoilers. let me know if i missed anything.
word count: 941
author’s note: well, my man is back, and i had to write some headcanons for him. the OBSESSION that i had back in 2021 needs to be studied, omg. anyway, as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, english is my third language, so i apologize for any mistakes. in case i don’t post anything else this year, happy 2025 everybody!! enjoy! 🩷
divider by @k1ssyoursister
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〇 pre-games
best. boyfriend. ever.
that’s it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
🙃🙃🙃
his love languages are:
1) quality time
he may be a police detective, but he ALWAYS tries to make time for you 
and see you every day, and if he can’t, he’ll save some minutes to call you
loves to hear about your day
big on communication, that’s key on your relationship 
type of boyfriend that picks you up after work, or anything really
he just wants to see your cute face :3
takes you out on cool dates
to the park, to eat, to cute animal cafés
he’s okay with staying in too, just cuddling, talking, watching something….
and 2) acts of service 
will drive you anywhere you need
you get ‘good morning/night’ texts every single day you’re not together
makes you breakfast 
and has no problem with cooking for you
opens doors for you 
pulls out the chair at the restaurant ☝🏻
he’ll simply do anything you need
loves coming home to you, it doesn't matter how shitty or overwhelming his day was, you just put a smile on his face
his favorite thing to do with you is eating
it may sound boring, but he loves to see you taking care of yourself, well-fed and happy
takes you to meet his family
his mom loves you
even his brother likes you
he’s a tease and enjoys seeing you all flustered
i feel like he’d be the type to have many pics of you on his phone that he goes back to whenever he misses you
you’re probably his wallpaper, perhaps even on his wallet too 🤭
some pet names like: “honey”, “love”, “beautiful”, “cutie”
would never cheat
a guard dog
not super jealous -a bit tho- but won't hesitate to step up if someone acts stupid 
(picture that one scene in season 2 when that man mocked him and didn’t believe he was an actual police detective hehe)
shows you off 🤩
checks you out :p
his hand is on you in some way when you’re out
has good emotional intelligence
big spoon
reminds you to take your make up off before bed if you wear any -he may even do it himself if you're too tired
or to take meds
he is just really caring and supportive
doesn't like seeing you worried or anxious because of his job
absolutely hates to see you suffer
doesn’t mind that you may be struggling financially, it won’t change what he feels
will help you with whatever it is
just don’t hide it, he hates secrets and lies
i hate doing it, but there always has to be some 🚩 
he’s the first one that would do it (lying and hiding stuff) to ensure you’re okay and don’t get worried
on a particularly overwhelming day, he will raise his voice at you
can get really overprotective 
some days you may not hear from him, or at least not much
will sometimes struggle to open up about his issues or what’s upsetting him
△ during the games
after your sudden disappearance, worry and fear ate him up
while checking your house he found a weird card
and once he discovered the exact same one at his brother’s, he knew something was going on
heard gi-hun at the police station rambling about some weird symbols and immediately recognized the design
interrogated him about you, desperate to know about your whereabouts 
as soon as he successfully infiltrated the games, he began your search
almost had a heart attack when he spotted you
had to make the effort of his life to stay calm and not run to you
would somehow manage to get you two alone so he can get you out of there (i’ll write about this soon)
almost gets caught
feels betrayed you didn’t tell him and quite angry you’d risk your own life like this
but mostly relieved you’re okay (and still alive)
watches you like a hawk from the distance, ensuring your safety
constantly around, you continuously sense his presence close by 
□ post-games (you died)
had to see your death and practically went numb
blurry vision, ringing in his ears, shortness of breath, sting in his throat
the worst thing tho, was finding out his brother had been behind everything
how could he have done this to you? you trusted him! 
feels completely disgusted
after his coma, he blames himself for everything
dreams about you 
gets you a cenotaph given that your body will forever remain strayed
nevertheless, he still talks to you like you’re there
tells you about his recovery and his progress finding the island
you are his strongest motivation
he’s doing this for you, to provide the love of his life a much deserving peaceful rest
gets you new flowers every few days
he’ll never stop feeling guilty
〇 post-games (you survived)
has nightmares he failed and left you to meet your demise on those cursed games
always there when you have them, and so is his shoulder if you need to cry
reassurance king
hides the identity of his attacker from you
becomes even more overprotective
shared location on at all times
gets paranoid if you don’t text him all day
he swore to never miss a single detail of your possible struggles. not again
you can still tell he holds himself responsible for your time on that island
stays awake at night just watching you sleep safe and sound (will never say it tho)
babies you
bigger spoon
doesn’t let you go out on your own if it’s late, afraid that something may happen and those psychopaths will reach you again
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parkerslatte · 2 days ago
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The Purest Kind of Love || Part Three
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Azriel x Fem!Reader x Eris Vanserra
Word Count: 6.2k
Warnings: murder attempt. minor panic attack.
Summary: Eris Vanserra arrives at the Night Court to discuss trade deals, alliances and anything that would benefit him as High Lord. During a meeting, things go south quite quickly.
The Purest Kind of Love Masterlist
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
PREVIOUS / NEXT
•••
Weeks had passed since Y/N had felt that damned bond snap with Eris Vanserra. There were days where the bond was faint, as if it no longer existed but on others, she felt a strong pull, barely able to resist it. Concentrating on her work on those particular days was beginning to get increasingly difficult. All of her work had been conducted from her own cottage, she hadn’t given anything to Rhys as of yet, their final conversation replaying in her mind. Anger coursed through her veins whenever she thought about it. If she saw Rhys’s face anytime soon she was sure she was going to connect her palm to it. 
Y/N hadn’t seen anyone from the Inner Circle since the day after Eris’s celebration. For once, she was not sure about how they would react to the news of her new mating bond– assuming Azriel had already told them. She knew that there would be a few angry faces amongst the group, Mor’s especially.
With a sigh Y/N pulled away from her open notebook, rubbing her eyes. The words she had written had only begun to blur together. Her concentration had only begun to slip once again. It didn’t help that she could still faintly smell Azriel’s scent. Many of his clothes were still within her cottage, he hadn’t come to collect them yet. There were many times where Y/N had considered returning them to him herself but just the thought of returning the only things that held his scent made her heart sting. She also wanted to give him the space that he requested. 
A knock sounded through the cottage and Y/N perked up. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks– she probably hadn’t even spoken aloud in weeks. She stood to her feet and walked the short distance from her office to the front door and opened it wide. The beaming face of Mor stood on the other side. 
“Mor?” Y/N said, surprised to see her. 
“Are you happy to see me?” she asked. “Because I am happy to see you. It’s been weeks since I have even heard from you.”
Y/N laughed nervously. “I’ve been busy with my work.”
Mor hummed, as if she didn’t believe it. Thankfully she didn’t call Y/N out on it. Mor held up a letter in her hand. “This came for you a few days ago. I thought Azriel would have delivered it to you but I haven’t seen him around either.”
Oh, Y/N thought. Mor didn’t know. 
“I haven’t seen Azriel either,” Y/N said, her voice sad. “Our relationship ended, Mor.”
Surprise lit up Mor’s face. “You split up?”
Y/N nodded. “A few weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Mor said, gesturing to Y/N to sit down. “How are you?”
“Honestly, I am finding it hard,” Y/N said. “Having someone beside you for years and then they are suddenly gone is certainly an adjustment. I still have some of his clothes here.”
“I can take them to him for you–”
“No,” Y/N cut her off. She cleared her throat. “No, it’s okay. I’ll send them to him soon.”
Mor nodded and handed Y/N the letter. “I’m unsure of who it is from as there was no name given.”
The writing on the letter was exquisite and beautiful and was a piece of artwork within itself. It was much better than the fast scrawl that filled Y/N’s notebooks. 
“As much as I would love to stay here with you, Emerie and I planned our own trip to visit the Day Court,” Mor said. 
“It’s okay,” Y/N said, her eyes snapping up from the letter. “Enjoy yourselves.”
A small smile toyed at Mor’s lips. “We will, I’ll tell her you said hell0.”
A long hug and another goodbye, Mor was gone, leaving Y/N alone in her cottage once more. 
***
The letter sat on the table unopened. A wax seal on the back of the letter clearly indicated who it was from. The wax was a near perfect match of the sender's eyes. Not that Y/N would recognise them immediately of course. 
Why would Eris send me a letter? Y/N thought.
As she took the letter back in her hands, Y/N contemplated opening it. As much as she liked to believe the stories that depicted Eris as a terrible male, Y/N personally didn’t see it. They had only shared a dance and a few conversations together but for some reason she could see that careful constructed mask he hides behind. It had slipped just before he left her room the morning after his celebration. Somehow she believed that her whole family was wrong about him. 
Y/N carefully broke the seal of the letter and took the parchment out. It faintly smelt of a crackling fire. Y/N couldn’t help but breathe it in. Once the letter was unfolded, it was written in the same delicate handwriting that was on the front. It was shorter than Y/N was expecting. She began to read.
—----
Dear Y/N, 
I am currently on a tour around Prythian to work out trade deals and build stronger relationships between my court and others and hopefully fix all the hurt my father caused. I only have two stops to go before I finish this little task of mine; Night and Winter. Due to circumstances in the Winter Court, I would need to visit the Night Court first. 
Now this is where my problem resides. The Night Court is your home and I do not wish to intrude. It is true that we have a mating bond between us and it is true that it connects our souls. Though I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable in your own home. If you truly feel uncomfortable with me being in your home court, I can conduct my business from my home in Autumn. 
If you wish for me to stay in Autumn, don’t open this letter. 
If you wish for me to come to Night, open this letter–
—----
Y/N stopped reading as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. Though she couldn’t help the laugh that slipped past her lips. The nerve of him, Y/N thought. Though he did bring a genuine smile to her lips for the first time in weeks. 
Truthfully, Y/N wouldn’t mind for him to come to the Night Court. If she did feel uncomfortable in his presence, she would simply stay away. Even with the mating bond’s desperate attempts to pull her closer. Saoise cast her eyes back down to the letter. 
—----
It may be obvious to you now that I am indeed on my way to the Night Court, depending on when you read this, I might already be there now. But I am being serious when I say that if you truly are uncomfortable with me around, happily tell me and I will be gone before you even have the chance to blink. 
I hope this letter finds you well. 
Your mate
Kind regards, 
Eris Vanserra, High Lord of Autumn
—----
The smile tugged at the corner of Y/N’s mouth and she consciously removed it. She folded the letter and placed it back in its envelope, tucking it away in the drawer under the table. There was a possibility that Eris was already in the Night Court. The thought made her chest contort, nerves itching. She shouldn’t feel nervous. Eris was her mate and she knew how to handle him, evident from the dance they shared. 
Perhaps the reason Mor and Emerie were going to spend some time in the Day Court was because of Eris’s arrival. Why hadn’t anyone told her about it? Despite how Rhys might not think of her as part of his family, she was still a member of the Inner Circle whether he liked it or not. Her research was a large part of what kept the court running and kept people safe, even if Rhys deemed them not worth saving like the people in Hewn City. Y/N would go out of her way to warn him about possible dangers that target the area. 
If Eris was meant to be arriving at the Night Court, she should have been informed of it. Perhaps he hadn’t arrived yet and that was the reason. Though deep down, Y/N already knew that both Rhys and Cassian would choose Azriel’s comfort over her. If Azriel didn’t want to be within a certain distance of her, Rhys and Cassian would do all they could to make it happen. 
Y/N closed the drawer containing the letter from Eris and returned to her research, her mind becoming consumed. 
***
A whole day had passed and Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about the letter Eris had sent. By her estimations, he should have already been in the Night Court for at least No one had reached out to her. Even Eris, which Y/N hated to admit, disappointed her a little. The work she had been doing had been completed and Y/N had felt fidgety. For the majority of her work, she would assign herself jobs but Rhys did task her with conducting research for him. She had completed it all and had no motivation to do any of her own. 
The hot mug in Y/N’s hand was placed upon the table as she walked over to the front door. Being trapped in the cottage where Azriel’s scent still lingered was not doing her any good. 
Y/N swung the door open and a surprised Cassian stood just down the cobblestone pathway. A frown found its way onto Y/N’s face. 
“What are you doing here, Cassian?” Y/N asked.
Cassian chuckled nervously. “So I don’t get a hug of greeting?”
Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “No I don’t believe you will. Why are you here?”
Cassian sighed. “Eris is meeting with Rhys and the rest of us to discuss some trade deals and to strengthen his alliance with us.”
“And Rhys is the one who assigned you to get me?” Y/N asked.
“No,” Cassian answered and Y/N’s heart sank. If it wasn’t clear by her last conversation with Rhys, it was evident now that he didn’t even view Y/N as part of his Inner Circle. “It was actually Azriel who demanded that you be there as part of the Inner Circle.”
Surprise filled Y/N’s eyes. “Azriel demanded it?”
“He threatened to not attend the meeting himself if you weren’t there,” Cassian explained. 
Somehow that made Y/N feel worse. 
***
The tension in the room was thick and it only amused Eris to his core. While everyone around him was alert, he casually lounged in his chair, waiting for the meeting to begin. He wasn’t told the reason for the delay but he had noticed that both of the Illyrian warriors were nowhere to be seen. 
Rhysand sat at the head of the table with Fere by his side, a clear sense of who was actually in power. The smaller fae with short black hair, Eris hadn’t ever bothered to know her name, sat to his right, her piercing gaze never leaving him for a second. 
It had only been a matter of hours since Eris had been welcomed into the Night Court and he had yet to leave this very room. If he were to be confined for the week he was meant to be staying, Eris was sure that he would go insane. Despite his dislike towards certain members of Rhysand’s Inner Circle and the Night Court itself, Eris did have to admit that what he had seen of Velaris had been rather beautiful. 
The door to the room opened, cutting through the silence. The shadowsinger stepped inside, eyes full of carefully concealed rage. Eris watched his movements carefully as he slowly pulled out of the chair opposite him and took a seat, wings tucked tightly into his back, shadows restlessly moving over his shoulders. Just from the look of him, Eris could tell that he was finding it hard to keep his emotions in check. Perfect, Eris thought. 
Two more figures entered the room soon after. The first was Cassian, probably the only member of the Inner Circle who Eris could have a semi-pleasant conversation with. Stepping in after him however was the person who made his chest ache deliciously. 
That pull that Eris had tried his best to ignore the past few weeks was now pulled taunt as his eyes met Y/N’s. She was just as beautiful as she looked at his celebration. The only difference was the dark circles under her eyes. It was clear that she hadn’t been sleeping and Eris wanted to know the reason why. Perhaps he could do something to help her. But what if the reason she was losing sleep was because of him?
The stories the Inner Circle must have told her about him were certainly not pleasant. What if she was kept awake at night after finding out that she was mated to such a diabolical male. After all, that is what he wanted everyone to think when his father was alive. But knowing that Y/N most likely thought that way about him– that filled Eris with a sadness that was foreign to him. 
The chair next to Eris was pulled out and Y/N slowly sat down and shuffled the chair back in, her hands folded in her lap. 
“Now that everyone is here,” Rhysand began, his eyes lingering on Y/N for a brief moment and in that moment Eris fought the urge to reach across the table and connect his fist with his face. “I would firstly like to set some rules for this meeting.”
Eris rolled his eyes. “Rules? Are these rules for me or for you brainless servants?” Eris said, gesturing to Azriel and Cassian. Eris’s gaze fixated on Azriel. The shadowsinger’s gaze was locked on Eris and it seemed as if that he had no intention of looking away. “And if I may be completely honest. All of you are terrible hosts, locking me in a room with surveillance for hours, no offer of a drink or food. When I had my meeting with Helion, we had already discussed what we needed to and were sharing a bottle of wine on the balcony.”
The smile that spread across Rhysands face was nothing short of malicious. “My apologies, Eris. Would you like a glass of my finest wine?”
 “Absolutely not,” Eris replied, leaning back in his chair. “I wouldn’t put it past you to poison my glass.” Eris’s gaze slowly shifted to Y/N whose gaze was cast to the table. “Except Y/N here. Unlike all of you, she seemes to have her head actually screwed on.”
The shadows resting on Azriel’s shoulders moved around his body, seemingly readying to strike Eris at any moment– Eris simply ignored him. Y/N’s head lifted and looked at Eris and when their eyes locked once more, Eris couldn’t help the small twitch of the corner of his mouth. Y/N seemed to notice it as the corner of her mouth twitched too. The pull only became stronger. 
Clearing his throat, Eris turned to face Azriel who still hadn’t looked away from him, a burning hatred resided in his eyes. Eris smirked. “Are you jealous, Azriel? That I can get a female to smile at me while you simply pine from afar, struggling to gain even the smallest bit of affection. It's quite sad really.”
The shadows that rested upon Azriel’s shoulders reached out to Eris and the fury in Azriel’s eyes grew. Eris knew that he had touched a nerve. 
“Stop with the threatening look, Azriel. How do you ever wish to seduce anyone into your bed with an aura of murder surrounding you. No wonder you’ve been alone for centuries,” Eris said, casually crossing one leg over the other. 
Shadows wrapped around Eris’s throat and most air was cut off. The feeling of the tightness around his throat made Eris immediately panic. Azriel loomed over Eris as everyone around them tried to stop what was occurring. 
“Azriel,” Rhysand warned. “Stop this. You know what will happen if you harm him.”
“I don’t care,” Azriel growled. 
“Az,” Cassian said, placing a hand on the shadowisnger’s shoulder. Azriel just shrugged it off. “You need to stop.”
“Stop this!” Feyre demanded, looking between Eris and Azriel. 
“Azriel!” Y/N snapped. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
For the first time since he entered the room, Azriel looked away from Eris and to Y/N. The tightness around his throat faltered but there was still no way for Eris to escape. He clawed at his throat but his hands only clawed at his skin. 
“Let him go now,” Y/N said, her voice dangerous. 
The shaowingers eyes found Eris’s again and the shadows tightened as if it were instinctual, as if they were connected to his emotions. It was beginning to get harder and harder to breathe. Eris desperately tried to claw at his neck again but it only made him scratch his own skin more, this time drawing blood. 
As he began to feel fainter and fainter, Eris couldn’t stop the rising panic within him. It was almost as if he could feel the ghost of his fathers hand wrapping around his neck. Eris scratched at his neck even more and drew more blood, desperate to breathe again. Black spots clouded his vision and all attempts from the Inner Circle to get Azriel to stop fell on deaf ears. 
“Azriel, please stop,” Y/N pleaded and Eris felt gentle hands rest on his shoulder. It was the only thing that grounded him against visions of his father looking over him with his hand around his neck. 
“Stop…” Eris begged Azriel. 
Something within Azriel’s eyes seemed to snap him back to reality as the shadows recoiled from Eris as if he had burnt them. They rested on Azriel’s shoulders before shrinking away entirely. Stumbling back, Azriel blinked as Eris’s chest heaved up and down, slowly getting air back into his lungs. 
“Azriel…” Y/N was the first to speak, a hint of disappointment in her tone. 
“I-I’m sorry,” Azriel said before he swiftly left the room. 
Eris continued to breathe heavily as Y/N’s hands remained on his shoulders. He wanted to shrink into her touch. Just feeling all eyes on him made him want to hide– he was too exposed, too vulnerable. Eris never wanted to feel that way again. 
“Why don’t we finish this meeting tomorrow once everything has calmed down?” Feyre suggested, looking at the blood smeared on Eris’s neck. 
“That would be a smart idea, Feyre darling,” Rhysand said. “Cassian, you can escort Eris to–”
“I will do it,” Y/N said firmly. “I don’t think he wants to be around any of you right now.”
Eris closed his eyes and allowed his body to slump against the chair as he tried to even out his breathing, nothing seemed to work. 
“But–” Rhysand began.
“I will take him to his room,” Y/N said, sending a glare Rhysand’s way. “Do you have a problem with that, Rhys?”
Rhysand studied Y/N for a moment, his eyes lingering on where her hands were gently holding onto Eris’s shoulders. He slowly nodded. “Of course not, Y/N. Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere anacompanied.”
 “I’m not a prisoner, Rhysand,” Eris said quietly. 
There was no reply as the footsteps of the Inner Circle slowly grew quieter as they all left the room until only Y/N and Eris remained. Eris’s chest still heaved up and down as his breathing still hadn't returned to normal. Beron’s phantom hands were still wrapped around his throat. 
“Let me clean that away,” Y/N said quietly, procuring a small cloth from thin air. 
When his eyes met Y/N’s, they were filled with concern as she looked at his neck. Eris didn’t want to know what it looked like. 
“I can clean it myself,” Eris mumbled, taking the rag from Y/N’s hands. 
A simple nod was her response. The scratches on his neck were already beginning to heal as Eris wiped the blood away, the previously white cloth now crimson. 
“Do you wish to return to your room?” Y/N asked. 
Eris chuckled, no humour behind it. “I’d rather not be concealed in a small room right now.”
The two sat together alone in the room until Eris’s breathing had evened out. The phantom hand still remained but the panic within his body was washed away. Almost immediately, a switch flipped in Eris as he turned to Y/N. The facade he put on lit up his face once more. 
“Well, why don’t you show me around Velaris? I’m sure someone as beautiful as you knows where the stunning sights are,” Eris suggested, a smirk toying at his lips. 
Y/N frowned, immediately seeing through the facade. “Cut the bullshit, Eris. You can parade this fake attitude to everyone else but not me.” A gentler expression replaced her frown. “You…are my mate. You don’t need to hide your true self away from me.”
Slowly but surely, the smirk fell from Eris’s face. “Mate? That is the first time I have heard you admit that aloud.”
“We have only had one conversation since it snapped,” Y/N said, an amused tone filling her voice. 
Eris huffed out a laugh, looking down at the blood stained cloth in his hand. “That is true. But it still feels…surreal that someone is telling me that I am their mate.”
Y/N sighed. “It is strange for me too. If a mating bond did snap for me, I thought it would be with…someone else.”
Eris raised an eyebrow. “And that someone is?”
A saddened expression fell upon Y/N’s face and Eris immediately regretted asking. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 
“I apologise for asking,” Eris said, throwing the bloodied cloth on the table. 
“Don’t apologise,” Y/N said firmly.
Eris nodded and slouched back in the chair, all sense of formality disappearing from his posture. If it were anyone else but Y/N in his presence, Eris wouldn’t be caught dead slouching in his chair, but he felt…comfortable. 
“Well, aren’t you going to take me to my prison– I mean room?” Eris said. 
Y/N smiled. “The rooms might not be as grand as the rooms in the Autumn Court, but I assure you that your room isn’t a prison. It was my old room, actually.”
Eris suddenly perked up. “Your old room?”
Y/N nodded. “It was always the nicest room and now it is used as a guest room as Nesta demandes to make guests feel comfortable when they stay here. There have been a lot of…strange guests over the past few years. And I wasn’t going to take you there anyway. You said you didn’t want to be concealed in a small room so I’m taking you out to see Velaris.”
Surprise filled Eris’s body. “You are letting me leave?”
“Despite what Rhys tells you, Eris. You can go anywhere you want unsupervised. I trust you. If Rhys wants to shout at anyone about it, send him my way,” said Y/N, standing to her feet. 
“Now come on,” Y/N said. “This beautiful female, as you like to put it, is going to show you some stunning sights.”
***
Despite the sun being high in the sky, it didn’t stop Y/N from shivering as they walked down the cobblestone streets. Some stopped and stared, clearly confused as to why the new High Lord of Autumn was walking through the streets of Velaris. Eris didn’t seem to care as he looked around, clearly taking in every small detail. 
Y/N wasn’t exactly sure what came over her when she suggested that she take Eris out in the city, all that she did know was that it had been instinctual to spend time with him. It wasn’t in her plans to get to know her mate, at least not so soon after her relationship with Azriel ended– but when Eris was clawing at his throat and Azriel loomed over him, she had the strong urge to protect him. There were still a few scratches that hadn’t healed yet from how deep Eris had scratched himself. 
“You’ve been shivering for the past hour,” Eris commented as he stopped to look in a window of a shop. 
“Unlike you, I don’t have fire coursing through my veins,” Y/N said, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. 
“If I had a jacket I would offer it to you,” Eris said, finally turning to her. He frowned once he noticed her thin dress for what seemed like the first time. 
“It's okay,” Y/N said with a wave of her hand. “I can return to my cottage to get a jacket, it isn’t too far away if you don’t mind the walk.”
Eris shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
With a nod, Y/N led them down the street and away from the shops. “You can stay here if you wish, I’m unsure how long I will be.”
“It’s fine,” Eris said. “If I am being honest, I do wish to see more of this city– don’t tell Rhysand I said that.”
Y/N nodded. “Don’t worry, I am unsure if Rhys and I are on speaking terms currently.”
“I am not prying you for an answer but if you would like to tell me, I am awaiting your answer eagerly– unfortunately for you, I do enjoy some gossip,” Eris replied. 
Y/N huffed a laugh. “Unfortunately for you, I will not be telling you. You may be my mate, Eris, but sharing personal conversations is not on the table yet.”
“Yet,” Eris smirked. 
“Sorry?” Y/N questioned. 
“You said ‘yet’,” Eris remarked. “So that means that one day you will tell me.”
“I–shut up,” Y/N said, pulling her arms closer to herself as a chill ran down her spine. 
A low chuckle emitted from Eris that sent pleasant shivers down Y/N’s spine. “My, my, just when we were getting along too.”
“Who said that we were getting along?” Y/N questioned, raising a brow.
“Well, you haven’t threatened to harm or kill me yet, so I am taking our brief relationship thus far as a successful one,”  Eris remarked. 
The two continued walking for a while longer in silence. Though it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like Y/N expected, she was perfectly at ease. Eris seemed to be keen on taking in his surroundings as they walked down the cobblestone street. Y/N nearly slipped a few times when her attention fixated on Eris for a moment too long so she missed where the stone was raised higher than the others, thus causing her to trip. Whenever she did, Eris huffed out a small laugh. 
“May I ask you a question?” Y/N questioned suddenly after a long silence. The question she wanted to ask was burned onto her tongue. 
“Depends what the question is,” Eris answered with a raised eyebrow. 
“That letter you sent me,” Saoirs began and Eris laughed. “Why didn’t you give me a choice if you were going to come here regardless.”
“Oh Y/N,” Eris said, her name flowing from his lips like a beautiful poem. “You are mistaken, I did give you a choice.”
Y/N laughed. “A choice? You said in your letter that if I was comfortable with you coming to my home, I should open the letter– how would I even know what the letter contained or who the letter was from if I didn’t open it?”
Eris glanced at her. “You knew who the letter was from as soon as you picked it up, didn’t you?”
“I might not have,” Y/N defended, folding her arms across her chest. 
“But you did,” Eris said. “And despite how little time we have spent together, I knew that you would have never opened that letter if you were uncomfortable with me. Am I correct?”
“No,” Y/N said, sending a small glare his way. She hated how correct he was. 
“Liar,” Eris whispered. 
Their faces were close as Y/N cleared her throat and turned away. “My cottage is just up this street.”
Seemingly snapping back into reality, Eris took a step back, clasping his hands behind his back. “You said that this walk wasn’t too far. You live quite far from the city.”
Y/N shrugged. “It’s a short walk for me. It helps me focus more on my work. When I used to live in the House of Wind with everyone, I could hardly focus on my work as I was interrupted almost every time I tried to get anything done.”
Despite the fact that her home had been her sanctuary for many years, always full of life and love– it now held an aura of sadness around it. Even though Y/N had lived in her cottage years before she and Azriel made their bargain, it was the place where they had started building their life together. Residing all over the cottage and land surrounding it held small reminders of the shadowsinger. His chair for instance, which allowed him to sit comfortably with his wings. The bed which Y/N had surprised him with once when she had noticed how much he had ached whenever he slept in her previous bed. The decorations Azriel had bought for her whenever he had business elsewhere. 
Y/N unlocked the door and stepped inside, Eris followed after. The room was cold, it had been ever since Azriel had left. But with Eris standing next to her there was a flicker of warmth that spread through the air. 
“Make yourself comfortable,” Y/N muttered, stepping away from Eris. 
There was no reply from Eris, or if he did reply, Y/N didn’t hear as she made her way to her bedroom. Only one side of the bed was slept in and the other was still perfectly made, she hadn’t wanted to move anything just yet, not while the scent of Azriel still lingered. Moving onto her wardrobe, Y/N pulled out a thick coat, trying her best to ignore Azriel’s hung up just beside hers. She needed to return it to him– just not yet. 
When she exited her bedroom, Y/N found Eris looking over the various decor pieces. She cleared her throat to announce her presence. It felt strange bringing Eris to her cottage, perhaps she should have left him in the city while she came back here alone. Despite the terms of their bargain, it felt wrong to bring Eris into the place where she had just begun to build a life with Azriel. Yet– the High Lord fit in well with her decor. 
“I’m ready to leave now,” Y/N said. 
“May I ask you a question now?” Eris said suddenly. 
“Depends what it is,” she answered, putting on her coat. 
“I don’t mean to pry while asking this question, but do you live with someone else in this cottage– the spymaster more specifically? His scent is blocking all my other senses,” Eris said, clasping his hands behind his back. 
The question wasn’t one Y/N was prepared for, of course she planned to tell Eris at some point but not so soon. But Eris was very perceptive and would know that she was lying if she denied his statement. With a sigh, Y/N nodded. “Yes he lived here with me– four years to be exact.”
“So at my celebration, the two of you were…together?” Eris questions. 
“We were, yes,” said Y/N honestly. 
“Ah, so that is why he was glaring at me for the entire length of the dance we shared,” Eris said. “But I cannot help but notice you are speaking in past tense about your relationship.”
“We are not together anymore,” Y/N said, the statement sending a pain through her heart. “That ended the night of your celebration.”
A guilty look washed over Eris’s face. “That wasn’t because of me, was it? Even though I do not like the shadowsinger, I do not wish to harm you in any way.”
Her heart skipped a beat at his sweet words but Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile. “The only reason why you are involved is because the mating bond snapped between us. Even if it snapped between me and anyone else that night, our relationship would have ended the same way at the same time.”
“You do not need to tell me if you don’t want to, Y/N,” Eris said earnestly. “I might act like a gossip, but most of the time, I do prefer staying far away from it.”
“It’s okay,” Y/N said. “I would have eventually needed to tell you at some point. Four years ago, Azriel and I made a bargain. We were both so sick of being alone, everyone around us was happily mated and were starting families or already had one. At the time we thought it was an incredible idea. We would form a relationship with each other but if one of us were to ever find our mate, we would walk away from one another and our relationship would end. Realistically, we both never thought we would find our mates. We are both over five-hundred years old, if a bond would have snapped with anyone, then it would have snapped by then.”
“We lived together for four years, were steadily building a life together until–”
“Our bond snapped,” Eris finished. 
“Correct,” Y/N said. “That night when I told him, I was in so much pain because I tried to fight the terms of the bargain. I begged him to stay with me but we both knew that we couldn’t continue our relationship because sooner or later the bargain would have killed me. Azriel left me in that room the night and never came back. The meeting earlier was the first time I had seen him since.”
“That morning when I came to speak to you and you were upset,” said Eris, taking a hesitant step forward. “It was because of the bargain.”
Y/N nodded. “I didn’t mean to be snappy with you, I couldn’t help it.”
“I didn’t mean to provoke you that morning, if I did, I apologise,” Eris said before proceeding to let out a breathless chuckle. “It’s funny, that morning I wanted to see if you were okay and I was pacing outside of your room for nearly an hour trying to gain the courage to knock. I didn’t want to seem invasive.”
Saoise’s face clouded over in surprise. “You needed to pluck up the courage to do something? Colour me shocked.”
With a shake of his head, Eris laughed and the sound was beautiful. “Don't get too used to it, Y/N, I never back down from a challenge.”
“Except when it consists of asking someone if they are okay?” Y/N asked. 
“It was only because it was you– my mate– if it were any other member of your so-called ‘Inner Circle’, I don’t think I could have cared less,” Eris replied before his eyes suddenly turned serious. “There is still a lot that you don’t know about me, Y/N– and there is still a lot that I don’t know about you. I am not the monster that Rhysand and his lapdogs have made me out to be.”
Y/N took an unconscious step forward. “Believe it or not, Eris, I can already tell that you are not the male I have heard stories about.” 
At that statement, Eris’s face lit up and he seemed relieved. “If you are open to it, Y/N, would you mind getting to know one another? I know that we eventually need to address the glaring topic of our mating bond– but right now, I am asking as a friend. Because believe it or not– I don’t have many of those.”
Despite Y/N’s previous feelings about the guilt trailing down her spine at Eris standing in the home she had made with Azriel, she now thought he fit in perfectly with her belongings– even the ones Azriel had picked out. 
A bright smile stretched across Y/N’s face. “I would love that, Eris.”
Eris dipped his head in a nod. “I am glad to hear that, Y/N.”
As their conversation had progressed, Y/N now found herself standing barely an arms length away from Eris, it was as if the taunt bond between them had slowly pulled them closer. Slowly, she linked her arm with Eris’s, the warmth of his body seeping through her coat. 
“Now, there is a small tavern that I like just down the street from my cottage,” Y/N said as she led Eris to the front door. “If we are getting to know one another, we might as well do it over a few friendly drinks.”
As the door to her cottage shut behind them, Y/N couldn’t help the small weight lifted from her shoulders. Walking with Eris by her side eased her in a way she couldn’t describe. 
Though perhaps it was because of the faint scent of cedar mixing with a cracking fire.
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Taglist:
@22hilda @lazypostfandomer @inkedinshadows @awkardnerd @azysmate @therealmoonstone @lets-talk-about-xyz @starryevermore @babypeapoddd @tothestarsandwhateverend @batboyrhyrhy @callsigns-haze @wildflowermooon @wildfloweroutlaw @acourtofbatboydreams @bookandtealover @queenoffeysand @the-sweet-psycho @the-starlight-way @curiosandcourioser @cheekym8s @honk4emoboyz @paleidiot @buckystevelove @that-girl-reading @readinggeeklmao @hextech-bros @scarsandallaz @paige0103 @k8r123-blog @asweetblueberry2 @bloodicka @eddsthemunson @fourthwing4ever @crypticme @that-one-bibliophole @lilah-asteria @sassybluebird @ninthcircleofprythian @imma-too-many-fandoms @happyt0exist @spiritualmooshroom @phoenix666stuff @imagoddessinmystories @sveretrice @stormieandateacup @impossibelle @opium-den @pit-and-the-pen @julesvanslutta @circe143
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butlervibesonly · 2 days ago
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Hi! I absolutely love your writing and I have this idea you could do! Since I love dad Austin fics as probably you do, can you do one where reader is pregnant with their first baby, and she already has a bump but Austin and her decided to keep it secret from medias as long as it's possible. But one day Austin's away at some meeting and reader goes out for some reason where she runs into paparazzi, freaks out cause they get photos of her and bump and she then calls Austin and they work it out together? Might be too demanding, write only if you like it 😅🫶🏻
𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 | Austin Butler
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• NOTE: Hiiii and thank you! Love this idea and I hope it’s as you imagined! 💕
• PAIRING: Austin Butler x pregnant! reader
• WARNINGS: pregnancy, paparazzi, slight angst, panicking, …
Your hand rests on your growing belly, and you feel the baby kick. This baby is so far a secret you and Austin keep from medias and fans to enjoy these moments as a family. You both do everything to keep this little life growing inside of you hidden.
But that’s not always very easy, especially when you and Austin are constantly under a microscope of paparazzis and medias. And now, with a baby on the way, you both know the frenzy that awaits you once the news gets out.
Austin has interview and some meetings today, so you’re home alone. Not that alone if you count your baby in you, of course. You suddenly think of making some good dinner for Austin when he comes home. “What should we do for daddy’s dinner, huh?” you rub your belly, not expecting any answers.
After a while of brainstorming and thinking you think of doing some good lasagne. You get up from the couch and go to see if you have everything for the meal to be done. And well, your pantry, however, isn’t cooperating.
“I’ll just make a quick shopping,” you mumble to yourself, grabbing the coat and scarf. You tug it tightly around you, hoping it would be enough to hide the small, but now undeniable, bump.
The grocery shop isn’t so far from yours and Austin’s home, just a few blocks away actually. You hurry down the aisles, picking the needed ingredients. A small part of you feels a hint of unease — the kind you often feel while stepping outside without Austin. Luckily no one recognized you so far. You not a celebrity after all, you’re just a wife of your husband.
Or at least you thought. As you step out of the store, carrying your bag and keys, the flashes came like a sudden storm.
“Y/n over there!”
“Are you and Austin expecting?”
“You are pregnant, Y/n?”
Your heart is racing as the paparazzi surround you, their cameras clicking furiously. Panic flows through you as questions are bombarding you from every direction.
“Please, I—“ you stammer, before pushing your way through the paparazzi and walk away down the street.
As soon as you get back home, you start trembling and shaking, tears spilling from your eyes. Your phone starts buzzing in your pocket — texts from friends, notifications from news websites. You don’t even dare look. Instead, you text Austin immediately.
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As soon as Austin arrives home, he finds you crying on the couch. “They know,” you whisper, voice breaking. “The paparazzi... they saw me. They took pictures of me,”
Austin’s face is a mixture of worry and determination. He pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly as you let the tears fall. “I’m so sorry,” you choke out. “I didn’t think— I just wanted to cook for you but there wasn’t enough of stuff so I went shopping and—”
“Shhh, no,” he murmurs stroking your hair. “It’s not your fault, honey .” Austin’s free hand travels to touch your belly and rubs it in soothing circles. “We should expect this could happen, Y/n,” he says gently.
“What do we do now?” you ask, your voice voice shaking.
“We will handle this together, okay?” Austin looks into your watery eyes. “The most important thing is that you and the baby are alright. We can do a statement on Instagram if you’re comfortable with it. No media gets to ruin how we share this happiness.”
Austin’s words were gentle, reassuring, and exactly what you need to hear in this moment. You nod, squeezing his arm. As soon as you calm down Austin gets his phone and picks a picture that would be best to share.
He posts a simple picture — his hand resting on you growing belly — he took this photo no too long ago while the both of you were sharing some sweet time.
austinbutler posted
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Liked by ashleytisdale, bazluhrmann and 823 493 more
austinbutler Our biggest roles yet: mom and dad. We love you so much already little bean. ❤️
ashleytisdale Best roles! Can’t wait! 🥹❤️
fan1 OMG!! PARENTS 🫶🏼🥹
fan2 I saw the paparazzi pictures and im disgusted, leave them alone they clearly weren’t ready to post this. Congrats anyway!
The response is immediate, and the support very much overwhelming. The media craziness was horrible, but for the first time that day you feel peaceful and happy.
“I love you and our baby so much and I wouldn’t let anyone to ruin this.” he kisses you gently, his hand never leaving your bump. And you feel so lucky that Austin is like this. Because with Austin nothing feels impossible.
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the-golden-comet · 2 days ago
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✨🌺 Writing Share and Questionnaire Tag 🌺✨
Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for tagging me! If you’ve done so recently, know that I appreciate you and was probably not alerted (sorry if I missed any!) HOWEVER, I did catch a questionnaire tag here from @willtheweaver ! Thank you for the tag! 💛✨
I’ve written some progress from ITROG, and I’d figure I’ll share a little more of Tyrell’s personality through these questions. Stick around for a story snippet at the end 💫
My questions:
1. What would it take for you to forgive someone who wronged you?
Tyrell: (snorts in a sneer) Hel if I know. Usually if someone crosses me, they’re not comin’ back into my good graces anytime soon.
2. You are given the chance to resurrect someone you loved for 24 hours. Would you do it?
Tyrell: Já, of course I would! Who wouldn’t? Odin’s blessing, I’d keep móðir alive a lot longer if I had the chance.
3. What is the one job you don’t want?
Tyrell: Probably being second in command to a man like Bartok….ugh, nei. Someone with a stick shoved that far up their own ass would be tastin’ tree bark on their tonsils. Nei, þǫkk.
And speaking of Bartok, here is a bonus writing share from ITROG! ✨
On the route to the food storage, Bartok snickered over his shoulder: “What’s wrong with yer sonr? Did he have another faint?”
“That’s none of your business.” Stefan answered curtly.
The warrior whistled through his teeth. “Ah, it’s a shame….you aren’t thinking of enlisting him in the Ursyne Trials, are ya’?”
“Haven’t decided yet.”
“Ya’ can’t be serious, Chief.” Bartok scoffed. “Imagine: Tyrell climbs up Feldin’s Peak, and halfway his heart gives out….”
“…..” Stefan ground his teeth in silent seething.
“…..Or when he has to duck under the icy wake. If the cold isn’t enough to shock his system to shutdown, the faint’ll due him to drown 30 deep until his skin’s the color of a Frost Jötunn—”
“—Enough, Bartok! Must you be so descriptive about my SON?!” The viking chief lashed out. “And keep those Hel-forsaken demons off of your lips before I sew them shut with runic thread.”
A nervous laugh crested Bartok’s voice “My apologies, chief. I don’t mean to rattle you. Only meant to warn….” He shrugged in nonchalance. “…..I’d be rightfully worried, though. These trials are no joke.”
“I know. They’re to train warriors—the strongest to lead the Bear Clan…..” Stefan nodded in conviction. “…..of which my son shows heart.”
@gioiaalbanoart and @wyked-ao3 , you’re gonna need the shovel for THIS one 😂
Thank you everyone! If you’ve previously tagged me, make sure to poke me twice—Tumblr notifications can be hit or miss sometimes, and I love seeing what everyone’s working on! ✨
Speaking of tagging, let me tag the following (no pressure, join if you wish ✨): @wyked-ao3 , @gioiaalbanoart , @jev-urisk , @tragedycoded , @autism-purgatory , @finickyfelix , @theink-stainedfolk , @drchenquill , @deanwax , @the-inkwell-variable , @mysticstarlightduck , @illarian-rambling , @leahnardo-da-veggie , @ominous-feychild , @mrbexwrites , @sharkblizzardblogs , @agirlandherquill , @rhikasa , @houseplantblank , @justabigoldnerd , @justanotherchangeling , @pippinoftheshire , @noxxytocin , @alinacapellabooks , @seastarblue , @talesofsorrowandofruin , @theaistired , @paeliae-occasionally , @aurumni-writes , @smellyrottentrees , @lavender-gloom , @cowboybrunch , @aziz-reads , @dyrewrites , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @theeccentricraven , @birdycage , @nczaversnick , @honeybewrites , @somethingclevermahogony , @topazadine , +open for whoever else wishes to join! ✨
Your questions for your OCs (in cut/paste format) 👀✨
1.) What location is always considered a home to you? 2.) Do you enjoy traveling with company, or alone? 3.) How many landmarks in your world have you visited? Were they fun? Horrifying? A place to remember?
Thank you all again! I’m excited to pick up ITROG and (hopefully) answer more questions and games about the story! Have a great week everyone, and Happy New Year! 🎊✨
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sad-girl-hours23 · 3 days ago
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13. discreetly
Oof. So apparently I can't write micro today lol but this idea stuck its talons in me, so here's some (not so) discreet bucktommy 💋
They drive to Howie’s Christmas party separately. Because Tommy is a saint. Or a martyr. He just can’t seem to deny his boyfriend anything. Evan’s jeep is already in the driveway when Tommy arrives and he parks behind him.
Evan steps out of his jeep as Tommy’s taking the bag of presents out of his truck. He saunters up to Tommy, dragging him by his henley between their vehicles. So much for being discreet. “Fancy meeting you here.” 
Tommy kisses the smirk from Evan’s lips, swallowing his moans. “Why don’t we just tell them?”
Evan presses his thumb to Tommy’s cleft. “Soon, I promise. Besides, it’s more fun this way.”
Tommy thinks they have very different definitions of fun, but then Evan’s kissing him again and he stops thinking altogether. 
They pull apart and Tommy swears he sees the curtains move in the Han’s front window. “Let’s go in before they get suspicious.”
“Alright, just wait like two minutes.” Over his shoulder as he walks away, Evan says, “I’ll just tell them we were fighting.”
Tommy shakes his head and starts counting.
When Maddie opens the door, she gives him a sympathetic smile. “I heard you and Buck had a fight.”
Tommy has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.
∗∗∗
After they’ve had dinner and opened presents and Jee is in bed, everyone else is gathered in the kitchen. Tommy, Howie, Bobby and Hen tell stories from their days of all working together at the 118, Athena adding commentary about the calls she was there for, while Maddie and Eddie listen and Evan—whenever it’s Tommy’s turn to talk, his speech is punctuated by a very unsubtle sigh and he even catches a few eyerolls out of the corner of his eye. 
It’s a little over the top, but then again, it’s Evan. Tommy doesn’t dare look at him head on because if he meets his eye, this whole house of cards will tumble down.
Evan excuses himself and Tommy counts to sixty before he follows. He catches Evan in the darkened hallway leading to the bathroom, snagging two fingers in his belt loop to turn him around, putting a hand over his mouth when he, honest-to-god, squawks. 
Evan relaxes against the wall and Tommy kisses him in apology.
“You know, you can just pretend I don’t exist, you don’t have to act like you hate me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Cool Guy. Wasn’t it you who said we wouldn’t be able to pull this off because of me?” Evan pokes him in the chest. “You think I just walk around with heart eyes because of you?”
Tommy tilts his head. “Historically speaking, you do not have a poker face.”
Evan rolls his eyes. 
Tommy crowds into Evan’s space, nosing at his jawline. “You really are a brat, you know that?”
When Tommy pulls back, Evan smirks at him. They break apart when they hear footsteps approaching. “We should probably get back.”
Tommy watches him walk away. 
He has to admit, it is a little fun.
∗∗∗
Meanwhile, the others are still gathered in the kitchen talking quietly.
Chimney says, “we should tell them.”
“Why? It’s more fun this way,” Maddie says.
“Fun for who? C’mon, Mads. You know I can’t keep a secret. And it’s a secret about a secret, that’s like two secrets!”
Hen frowns. “I think your math is off.”
Eddie groans. “Please just say something and put me out of my misery. I swear I heard moaning on my way to the bathroom.” He frowns when Chimney laughs. “I’ve had to pee for twenty minutes!”
Bobby and Athena share amused glances. Bobby says, “We’re just happy they finally figured it out.”
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raiiny-bay · 1 month ago
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drawing my favorite feral girl
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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freetobecelestial · 7 months ago
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TOP SURGEY TODAY !!!! AHHHHHHHH
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seveneyesoup · 2 years ago
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what are the odds people writing the bats Like That is just bc they haven’t moved out of the house yet
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onestepbackwards · 2 years ago
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Weather is kicking my ASS
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leafgorge · 6 months ago
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fuck it
okay uhh
i guess i’ll do one of these?
100 notes: i’ll write more poems and finish my wip paintings
250 notes: i’ll try to fix my sleep schedule
500 notes: i’ll clean my shithole of a room
750 notes: i’ll tell my parents about how detrimental to my mental health they are and seek therapy and a diagnosis
1,000 notes: i’ll come out to my parents
good luck bitches
EDIT: since this is close to getting to 1k notes, i’m going to add a couple more goals :3 i’ll be updating soon on actually doing some of these that i’ve already hit
2,000 notes: i’ll try to actually start hydrating (impossible)
2,500 notes: i’ll pick up guitar again
3,000 notes: i’ll post some of my old works on here
4,000 notes: i’ll try to get prints of my artwork and sell them (get my work published!!)
5,000 notes: i’m going to actually make a plan on how to not buckle under the weight of my own expectations
7,500 notes: i’ll try to stop starving myself
10,000 notes (final boss): i’ll try to get gender-affirming care and maybe cut my hair short (this one probably isn’t going to happen)
edit: oh my god you people terrify me what
okay umm this post has actually genuinely helped with my mental health so uhh
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 10 months ago
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ahh ari, if you want to celebrate women's month, you could write about shoko or utahime??
but also, ari, we know you have a lot of stuff going on and studying takes a long of time, so please don't feel obliged to write lots of stuff as we know that you're incredibly busy, and that's fine !!!
hehehe >:3…….. i don’t wanna reveal too much but i do have some stuff planned for both of them!! our lovely girls <333
aaaa and anon…. 😥😥 you’re a sweetheart, tysm for taking the time to reassure me <3 i just feel bad that i’m falling behind on asks and fics n stuff, but i think i just need to take it easy for a lil while until i bounce back… i have lots and lots of fics that i’m so excited to share w u guys !!! <33
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loveanddeepthroat · 5 months ago
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Come Home
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Pairing - Sylus x f!MC
Summary - Sylus has headed out to deal with some business, leaving you concerned for him as he doesn’t return when he told you he would. Fluff and a bit of angst. Sylus and MC aren’t yet in a relationship.
Word count - 2k
A/N - Hi! This is my first little one shot for LADS, and I hope you enjoy it. I do accept requests and look forward to writing more for this fandom 🖤
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It had been hours since you last heard from him.
You tried to tell yourself that you didn’t need to worry. That he was more than capable and has always returned in one piece. That your worry is wasted on him anyway, considering the fact that you weren’t even supposed to like him.
But you felt sick.
It was almost impossible not to be concerned. No matter where he was or what he was doing, he has always been reachable. You’ve tried his phone so many times that the battery eventually gave up on your futile attempts and went to sleep—which is what you should be doing at this hour. 
Mephisto had accompanied him on his outing, Luke and Kieran staying at the base with you under Sylus’s orders. They didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that it was currently three hours past the time Sylus had told them he’d be back. They know him better than you do, but their constant reassurance did little to soothe the panic starting to show.
“Please,” you practically beg. “I have this awful feeling that something has happened to him. Please go and look for him.”
Kieran groaned at her, tired of having to repeat himself once more. “We already told you.”
“Boss’s orders are non-negotiable,” Luke chimes in from where he’s lounging in an armchair.
“He’d have our heads as soon as we walked out the door.”
You were becoming more irritated each second by their nonchalant attitude. They didn’t even seem to give a shit, and you weren’t currently in the right mindset to delve into why you gave so much of a shit.
He was a criminal. A man who had such questionable intentions and motives that you didn’t even want to know the bare minimum of what he got up to whenever he headed out alone.
If something had happened to him, however, you wanted names.
As poorly as your acquaintance with him had begun, you found him to be more intriguing with every moment spent in his presence. His likes and dislikes, his attentive nature whenever you’re around, the way he chooses a vinyl record based on the type of mood he’s in—even the way he dresses has you analysing his every six feet and two inches of pure, solid muscle.
He wasn’t bad on the eye, especially when he was looking at you. You couldn’t fully figure it out, but there was a very subtle tenderness to his presence when he was around you. Subtle in a way that didn’t overshadow his ability to be the biggest asshole you’d ever met.
“If you keep pacing like that then I’m going to throw up,” Luke complains.
You shoot him a harsh glare. “If you don’t like it then get out and find your boss,” you grit back.
With an exaggerated huff, he pulls himself out of his seat, stretching his arms over his head. You feel a glimmer of hope, only for it to be shot down almost immediately. “I’ll let you know if I pass by him in my dreams,” he teases, walking out of the lounge and towards his own room.
You wanted to drag him back and push him out of the front door, but the man could probably put you to sleep with a snap of his skilled fingers. Instead, you growl angrily as his chuckles sound from the hallway.
Kieran stood up, too, mimicking his twin with his stretching. He paused for a moment, and you waited for his addition to his brother's teasing.
“He’ll be back,” he assured, surprising you. “If he’s not back by morning, we’ll figure something out. Just go to sleep.”
He doesn’t wait for a response from you as he follows after Luke, both of them turning in for the night. Sleep sounded like pure bliss, but you weren’t going to be able to do so.
You couldn’t even sit down, your legs automatically taking you around every single piece of furniture so many times that you were starting to get dizzy. 
“Please come back,” you chanted quietly to yourself quietly, if only to keep your pacing on track and your mind alert. 
“Please come back. Please come back.”
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You weren’t sure how long it had been, but as soon as you heard the front door, you bolted for it on unsteady legs.
He came in quietly, which was completely overshadowed by your crashing into things on your way to get a visual on him. You practically fell through the door that led to the entry hall, where he looked only mildly bewildered and wholly amused.
There were no visual signs of any injury, but light blood splatters dotted across his white shirt, indicating an altercation. Mephisto sat happily on his shoulder, cawing as soon as he laid his mysterious little red eyes on you. The damn bird was never too happy whenever you were around.
Sylus raised an eyebrow at you. “Expecting someone?” 
That asshole.
He dropped off the face of the earth for hours, and had the audacity to greet you with sarcasm. 
Before your brain could warn you about the threat of putting your hands on him, you sprang forward, striking his chest with the palm of your hand. Then again. And again.
It was pathetically weak from your exhaustion, and he didn’t so much as blink as you assaulted his blood-spattered shirt. Mephisto, however, took to fighting back immediately, pecking at your hands and screeching.
Sylus shooed him away quickly, and the mechanical crow reluctantly took his leave. He proceeded to just stand there as his winged companion flew away, entirely unbothered by your outburst.
Your movements were quickly faltering, the already feeble slaps to his torso becoming far and few between. Still, he did not move. Did not speak. He was the most feared man in the N109 Zone, and he was letting you lash out on him.
Your hand finally stopped on the lapel of his coat, gripping it for a second to catch your breath. He waited for you to finally take a step back, your arms crossing over your chest immediately so you could fully close in on yourself. You were certain that your little outburst was going to bring some repercussions.
Unable to fight it, your bottom lip started to tremble. You had been walking around that lounge for so long that you had convinced yourself he was not coming back. That the wrong person had finally found him and gotten the better of him.
And you just know what he would’ve said if you indulged him in that speculation. What a silly little thought, sweetie.
He closed the space between you, your head automatically dropping to avoid his crimson gaze. You couldn’t bear it, the anticipation of what he was going to do. Your ass was likely headed back to Linkon on foot.
Warm fingers curled beneath your chin, lifting your gaze back up to his. He was towering over you, but you strangely didn’t feel intimidated. All you could feel was his warmth, and your wave of emotions crashing into their withering barrier.
His face gave nothing away as he studied you, still holding your trembling chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Are you finished?”
He didn’t ask it sarcastically. He was giving you an opening. If you weren’t, he’d allow you to resume until you got it all out of your system.
But you were done, your arms feeling like jelly to the point that crossing them was taking a big effort from you. You nod, feeling wetness pooling in your eyes. This all felt ridiculous. He didn’t owe you phone calls or explanations, you both barely considered each other friends. 
The surprisingly soft pad of his thumb brushed gently across your shaking lip, his eyes following the movement. “I’m sorry.”
In any other circumstance, those two words would have shocked you enough to make you fall over. But you were a little too far on the delusional side of exhaustion, your body running on the fumes of your panic.
Your eyes flicker away, the wetness tipping over the edge and dripping off of your lashes. He turned your drifting head back to him to lock eyes with you again. He never did like it when you broke his gaze.
“Things got a bit out of hand,” he explained quietly, not needing an explanation for why you were so upset. “You shouldn’t worry.”
“I wasn’t,” you lie, earning an amused chuckle from him.
He brushed his knuckle across your cheek to rid you of your tears. “No? Why else would a kitten get her claws out, then? Did Luke and Kieran forget to feed you?”
You scoffed at his teasing, following his lead back into the ease of your strange companionship. “They’re terrible babysitters,” you say, sniffling away the last of your upset. 
He smirked, moving his hand to cup the back of your neck. He pulled you towards him, embracing you gently with a deep inhale. You almost swore he was smelling your hair, but you shut that thought down. It was far too complicated for such a tired mind to dwell over.
It wasn’t the first time you’ve both embraced, but this instance did feel quite different. It felt comforting, rather than nerve wracking. Nobody embraces a man like Sylus without at least a modicum of fear beneath the surface.
“You could have called,” you whispered. “Or…or at least answered my calls.”
He sighed, the blow of breath tickling your hairline. “There isn’t a good signal where I went tonight,” he explains. “I should have mentioned that. I didn’t want to call once I did have service in case you were sleeping. I apologise.”
An overwhelming warmth filled your chest, different to the one emanating off of his body. You look up at him, lifting a hand to his forehead. He humours you by allowing it, his eyes trained on yours as you felt the cool skin beneath the hair falling over his face.
“Are you coming down with something? You’ve apologised to me twice now,” you say, half serious.
He didn’t laugh or tease, his face slipping back into that easy nonchalant expression. “I assure you, I’m not coming down with anything. I could ask you the same thing, though. Since when did you become a worrier, kitten?”
You didn’t know how to answer that. It was something you yourself had to figure out. Caring for him wasn’t on your bingo cards when you first met. If anything, the very first day you met, you’d have been relieved if he hadn’t returned.
“Don’t get used to it,” you murmur, his smirk returning at your half-assed response.
“I’ll try, but I do get attached,” he whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear. He looks as though he’s contemplating something, and it takes a moment before he speaks again. “I’ll get us some better communication devices. Something you can carry around that I can alert you on.”
A slight sense of guilt washed over you. “No, it’s okay. You don’t need to be concerned about my insecurities, I shouldn’t be keeping tabs on you.”
Sylus shook his head, his mind already made up. He taps a finger against your temple. “My concern about what goes on in there is for me to deal with. If some better technology eases your troubles, then it eases mine too.”
There it was. That side of him that kept you so very intrigued and made you feel a sense of…home? He often used words that didn’t m quite mean the same as his intentions, but you could see it in him.
He cares.
He rubs a firm hand up and down your back before turning you around, lightly pushing you away from the front door.
“It’s about time we got some sleep,” he says, barely above a whisper. 
You let him guide you through the halls, his lips dropping to your ear as he whispered again.
“Feel free to monitor me.”
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kyuujo · 2 months ago
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↳ check yes or no
↳ sae itoshi x fem!reader ↳ sfw ↳ influencer!reader, established relationship, hidden(ish) relationship, going public, language, fluff + crack(?), jealous!sae, kissing on livestream, slight possessiveness, shat outta my ass ngl, my writing
↳ 1.3k words
↳ i’m sorry sae has me in a chokehold (i love it harder pls) and this little brain bug just randomly slid into my skull sooooo here it is! thank you all so much for reading and i hope you enjoy dahlings! <3
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(y/u/n)fan1998: welcome back lovely!
switterz: good to see you again! hope ur feeling better!
emi44578: i missed you so much!
a smile pulled at your lips and your chest warmed at the multitude of messages flooding your livestream. your throat was still a little sore, but thankfully your stomach had stopped rolling the day prior, and you’d been fever free for twenty-four hours. you didn’t feel completely better, but you felt well enough to at least start a small stream.
“aw, thank you guys so much.” you croaked, voice slightly groggy and thick. “i’m feeling a bit better, but as you can probably hear, i’m not outta the woods yet.”
once more, messages flooded your screen, so fast that you could hardly catch more than a mere glimpse of one before it was pushed up by another. your fans seemed to be extremely pleased by your online appearance, and it made you so happy despite the sickness still weighing down your body.
you hated having to take time off, especially unexpectedly.
the chat slowed to a comfortable trickle as you dived into the events of the past week, starting off with how you even got sick in the first place. you had to tweak the truth a bit — after all, you couldn’t exactly tell your audience that you’d caught a cold by attending your boyfriend’s game alongside a snotty, congested child.
“… this kid was sneezing all over the place, and the mother didn’t even care to wipe his nose or the things he sneezed on. it was so gross.” you complained, receiving a fair share of agreements and sympathies from your viewers.
it was as you were berating the mothering skills of a complete stranger when something familiar caught your eye. a username followed by a simple message, one you’d seen time and time again.
(y/n)husband1: (y/n) will you go out with me? check yes or no
you forced out a small laugh and shook your head as you addressed the message. your skin felt tight suddenly, that username always putting you off just slightly.
“i’m afraid i’m going to have to check ‘no.’ i’m in a very happy relationship.” the same answer you gave every time.
there was a flurry of comments again, some berating the user who had even typed a message like that and others calling out cap on your statement. you were fairly used to that; you’d never even shown sae on camera before, so your relationship was as good as hearsay to your viewers.
“okay, let’s just calm down.” you chipped out, barely suppressing a cough that threatened to rip through your throat. “i’ll need to take some more medicine soon, so i don’t have very long. let’s do some q and a before i go.”
thirty minutes later and over two dozen questions answered, you finally said goodbye to your viewers and clicked off the livestream. your shoulders sagged with relief instantly, and you let out a small sigh.
“how’d it go?”
you startled at the sudden intrusion to your thoughts. sae’s voice was a smooth, seemingly uninterested rumble. you calmed your racing heart and hummed as you stood from your chair, raising your arms up to stretch out your stiff torso.
“not bad at all. they weren’t mad at me, at least.”
sae rolled his eyes as you ambled to his side, his arm immediately sliding around your hip as he guided you to the sitting quarters.
“so what if they were? the feelings and thoughts of insignificant strangers aren’t important.”
you clapped your palm over his chest gently and shushed him. sae was always blunt like this; but his words did remind you of something.
“oh. that reminds me. (y/n)husband1 struck again.”
you know you didn’t imagine the way sae’s fingers tightened on your hip. was it wrong that you took some pleasure in that? maybe.
“what did they say this time?” sae murmured a bit tightly.
you huffed and rolled your eyes. “the same thing they always say. ‘(y/n) will you go out with me? check yes or no.’”
“it’s incredible they don’t already have a girlfriend, what with that irresistible smooth talk.” sae quipped, pulling a giggle from your throat. you shook your head and wrapped your arm around his rib cage, stumbling slightly from the awkward position.
“let’s just go find a movie, baby.” you suggested, your statement quickly garnering sae’s agreement. cuddles late into the night were always your favorite; and you had a feeling they were sae’s too.
three days later, you were completely recovered and back to your usual streaming schedule. your viewers were quite happy with the development, and for the most part, it was smooth sailing.
well, except for the occasional whirlpool conjured by the appearance of (y/n)husband1. they seemed to strike when you least expected it, and always with the same stupid question — the same stupid question that earned the same stern answer.
even your viewers seemed to be becoming irate by it, as they expressed their distaste on multiple occasions.
switterz: why dont u just block them from your streams? they’re annoying!
(y/u/n)fan1998: yea they’re clogging up the chat log all the time! and harassing u!
you wet your lips and said, slightly timidly, “well, technically, they aren’t breaking any rules guys. the best thing to do is simply ignore them, like i do.”
a majority of the chat seemed to disagree, but you weren’t wrong in what you said; though they spammed the same message again and again, they technically weren’t breaking any of the rules you had set in place during your first few streams.
suddenly, as if on the drop of a hat, the chat began to flood with a different topic — one that seemed to have taken over the controversy of (y/n)husband1 entirely.
switterz: SAE FCKIN ITOSHI????
emi44578: why is sae itoshi in ur house?!!?!?????
jackerquack: WTF HELLO SAE
user193949294: DONT TELL ME YOUR BF IS SAE ITOSHI!!!!
usererror404: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE THERES NO WAY
“what—?”
“i have to agree with the chat. you should block them.”
you swiveled around in your chair only to nearly touch noses with sae. your eyes widened and your lips popped open. what the hell was he doing? wasn’t his pr manager the one that insisted his relationship with you stay underwraps? just what was even happening?
there were hundreds of questions you wanted to ask, but in your pure shock you simply could work any past your lips; sae blinked once, then twice, before turning his eyes to the monitor in front of you.
“for those who have been wondering if she’s in a relationship, she is. with me. so no more harassment, or lying accusations.”
your heart was literally racing in your chest, your entire body frozen. sae was acting completely normal, as if he hadn’t just gone against every wish of his pr manager. you didn’t feel scared, per se, but the only emotion you could liken what you felt to was fear.
“demonking12 says they don’t believe it.” sae observed smoothly, eyes skimming down the chat. “and there’s some others who second that…”
you couldn’t even look at your screen — your eyes were glued to sae. how could he be so calm right now?!
sae turned to meet your stare of disbelief, and your stomach rolled when his lips quirked into the smallest, most mischievous smirk you’d ever seen grace his features.
“should we prove it?”
“um, what—?” you couldn’t even finish your blubbering before sae leaned in quickly and captured your lips with his — right in 4k!
the kiss wasn’t messy, or even sultry in nature, but it had your nerves lighting up and your cheeks flaring. sae’s lips were soft, warm, and almost commanding — it lasted a total of three seconds, but it was long enough to have your legs feeling weak.
sae pulled away but left just enough space between the two of you that you could see the sly swipe of his tongue across his bottom lip — as if he were collecting remnants of your taste.
“i’m pretty sure you’ve met your hour stream goal; time to entertain me, now.”
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thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are by no means required but are so greatly appreciated! <33
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celestiamour · 3 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ under your roof ]❜
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ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ your baby daughter really likes uncle wade’s roommate, and logan would be lying if he said he didn’t form a quick attachment to the two of you as well┊2.9k words; prt one (here), prt two, prt three coming soon!!
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: probably occ logan, he’s on his best behavior, mostly fluff with a little side of angst, single mother reader with an unspecified age, this chapter is mainly between logan & your daughter, reader has a bad relationship with the father & he’s an asshole, one joking threat of stabbing
➤ author's note: this was so much fun to write! single mom reader and her daughter are so lovely and i have two more part featuring these two and logan coming up! i hope you guys enjoy
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kids don’t like logan. it’s not a profound discovery nor is it a surprise to anyone who learns this fact. he’s intimidating enough to make some full-grown men piss themselves with so much as a glare, much less little babies who start sobbing uncontrollably when they see a giant scary man walking around believing that he would eat them or something even though he’s literally just standing there. whether the little ones have an instinct that signals him out as a mutant or he simply looks like a bad man from one of their fairy tales, he isn’t sure, but it’s not the best feeling either way when he’s trying to settle back into normal life with the constant weight of knowing that he’ll never fit in.
it doesn’t help that, in general, he isn’t good with kids either. he’s generally patient with their immaturity since they don’t know any better, but he finds the crying and whining extremely headache-inducing to his sensitive senses without a clue how to calm them down.
moving in with wade and acquainting himself with his friends was a start, but the missing part of his life to make him finally feel loved and at home was the family of two who lived downstairs. the first time he met you was also the first time he met your daughter when wade told him to dress a little nicer because the two of them were invited to your place for dinner. he explained that the two of you were practically siblings and that it would probably be something he should get used to, reminding him to “turn that frown upside down” because he was about to meet someone who “puts gordon ramsey to shame.”
the last bit sounded great to him, especially because no one in their household knew how to make anything more complicated than noodles without setting it on fire and the cost of outside food was really starting to tally up. still, he just wore some cargo pants and threw on a leather jacket, running his fingers through his hair once which was already a lot more effort than he’s ever put into meeting anyone else before.
wade didn’t even bother knocking, just being himself and picking the lock as he so typically does, kicking the door open and yelling a loud ass “daddy’s home!” which echoed throughout the apartment as well as the hallway they were standing in. the mouth-watering smell of grilled salmon filled the air, making wade hum in excitement, “do you need help with anything? taste testing, perhaps?”
“no, do me a favor and stay away from the kitchen!” your voice rang out loud and clear, sounding much like a mother scolding a teenager for the thousandth time. “i’ll stab you, do me a favor and just hang out in the living room.”
“okie-dokie!” he responded in an annoying sing-song voice, “come on, peanut, take off your shoes.” the said man could already tell how at home his roommate seemed in this place, just as comfortable as he was back home, walking with steps he’s taken many times before and prompting logan to do the same (except he was mainly keeping to himself and being much more mild-mannered in this unfamiliar area).
the place was as spacious as the small area could be and tastefully decorated, but all sharp corners of furniture were taped over to dull the edges and the carpet had multiple kinds of colorful toys littered about. in the center of it all, was a little toddler about two or three years old, playing with a kitchen set and trying to copy what her mom was doing by running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. she didn’t even notice the two men at first, not until wade called out her name and she dropped the plastic utensils to clap her hands together before waddling over to him.
“hey, baby! how are you doing? did you miss me?” he cooed in the high-pitched voice reserved only for mary puppins, reaching down to pick up the girl by her underarms and kissing her cheek, spinning around with her in his arms as she giggled uncontrollably. “do you wanna meet the big scary wolverine while i go bother your mommy? who am i kidding, of course you do!” he then dropped her onto the couch, making sure that she didn’t bounce up too high on the cushion and hurt herself. “okay, you keep her company while i go see what’s for dessert— bye!”
before logan could say anything, he was already gone, disappearing around the corner into the sound of sizzling foods and the scent of herbs. pursing his lips together and shuffling his feet around for a second, he grunted and braced himself for the child to start sobbing uncontrollably because she was left alone with him. the first time he meets you, whom he’s heard so many good things about, is going to be when you have to kick him out with his tail in between his legs for disturbing the peace of your home.
but the cries never came, and his eyes met her big curious ones as she just stared up at him in silence. it was honestly a tad bit unnerving like she was sizing him up and carefully thinking about her next move. 
and then she started giggling like earlier, kind of a more gurgling noise of playfulness more than anything, standing at his feet and waving around her short outstretched arms to signal that she wanted uppies from him.
“oh no—“ he’s not sure why he even let out a word or protest to begin with when he knew she wouldn’t listen, but it was pure instinct since, once again, he had no idea how to handle children. although she would probably also start crying if he didn’t listen to her, so he reluctantly bent down to pick her up, holding her close to the side of his chest and nervously awaiting her next move.
she was motionless for a minute with a little hand on her chubby cheek and the other trying to clutch onto the thick leather of his jacket, eyes darting around like she was seeing the world from a new perspective for the first time even though he was a hundred percent certain wade held her like his when they are the same height.
“kitty!”
“what?”
she pointed at the top of his head, his hair tuffs specifically, and reached out to pull on one of them curiously.
“no— not a kitty!” he’s never going to escape that fucking nickname, he wouldn’t be surprised if his roommate taught her to say that before she met him in person, able to perfectly envision wade crouching in front of her with a stupid picture of him on his phone and training her to say “kitty” every time she saw his photo by rewarding her with candy or something since there is no way she associated someone who looks like him to a kitten so quickly unironically.
“no kitty?”
“no— logan, lo-gan.”
she tried to pronounce his name a few times before giving up after getting stuck in the second syllable, blowing a raspberry and going back to what she was doing earlier— finding the most fun in tugging on his cowlicks like she was trying to figure out if he naturally woke up like that with the inability to brush them down or styled them with gel every day.
he sat down on the couch, the cushion sinking under his heavyweight, and sat your daughter down on his lap instead, except she didn’t want to sit down. standing on his lap and pressing her little feet into his thighs, she began to climb onto his shoulder like he was a jungle gym, using his arms as stepping stones to reach her destination while he bent over at the waist to allow her to crawl onto his back without falling behind him.
“you’re like a little lemur,” he muttered, still in slight shock that this kid seemed to like him and wasn’t freaking out like he was the big bad wolf. he wouldn’t admit it, but it was a really nice feeling that gave him a sense of normalcy like he was just some guy rather than the killing machine mutant most knew him as. she wouldn’t stop giggling and holding onto him, which made him feel his ice-cold heart melting like snow by spring’s first touch. 
all the while, he could hear you and wade chatting away in the background: something about him needing to step away from the stove, how you needed to trust him because him starting “that fire” was a one-time thing, what was for dessert, and then taking a sharp turn when the conversation suddenly shifted to the topic of the father.
he felt somewhat guilty about listening in, but he knew that deadpool was going to tell him eventually, so there wasn’t really any harm in a bit of eavesdropping (besides, it would have been difficult to ignore considering that your baby was being very well-behaved and his hearing wouldn’t have been able to pick up on anything else.)
“so… any news about her dad?” the solemn tone of a man who was hardly ever serious a day of his life was more terrifying than anything he’d ever witnessed in his long life.
“... he suddenly wants to be a family man, i guess…”
“what the hell does that even mean?”
the sound of a knife chopping vegetables against a wooden surface slowly came to a stop followed by a sigh. “like he wants to have a family… just not with the one he already started… he’s busy planning his wedding with the girl he cheated on me with and told me not to contact him again for any reason.”
“oh my god, what an asshole! fuck that guy!”
“i can’t believe that was the guy i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with, could you imagine? i don’t even know what i could have done wrong for him to be like this— i asked him so many times and he just said that he’s ‘fallen out of love,’ has ‘moved on,’ and that i would ‘be cruel’ to ask him to stay even if it was for the sake of our child…”
“well if it’s any comfort, he would have been on the next episode of forensic files the second i got a moment alone with him— i mean, the last time we saw him, he literally pushed his own daughter away when she tried to hug him! what kind of sociopath wouldn’t adore such a cutie patootie, especially his own flesh and blood?! ”
“it’s fine,” you hissed, gritting your teeth at the memory. “it’s not like he’s done anything to deserve getting to be called a father to an angel anyway, i’ll take care of her myself— wait… didn’t i also invite your new roommate? did he not come?”
“no, he’s in the living room, he’s been here this entire time,” he informed, taking a bite out of an apple like an asshole from a film.
“and you didn’t tell me?!!!” you quickly ran into the said area, finding logan and your daughter together on the couch. “hi! oh, i’m so sorry i didn’t come to greet you properly— and left my daughter for you to look after too— god, i’m just a terrible host!” you tilted your head, “what’s your name?”
he then realized he was staring which was rather impolite, mouth slightly agape too like a fish out of water which left a few seconds of awkward silence in between. “i-i’m logan,” he managed to sputter, “nice to meet you..”
wade raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his strange mannerisms before a wide, shit-eating grin split his face. 
“aww, baby, why are you bothering this poor old man— come to mommy, it’s dinnertime,” you clapped your hands and held them out fully expecting her to reach out and grab onto you as she usually does, but instead she looked up at you with big pleading eyes and held onto him even more tightly like a koala clinging to a branch. “oh, did you get attached already? you really are my daughter… logan, could you do me a favor and put her in her high chair while i plate everything?”
“yes, of course.”
you turned back into the kitchen, leaving the two men to follow with one holding your baby in his arms. all it took was one look to understand what he was thinking, logan didn’t need to be a telepath to know. 
“if you don’t shut the fuck up—”
“i didn’t even say anything!”
“good, keep it that way.”
love at first sight, wade has seen it plenty of times and understands it well, something so unpredictable and powerful, that it could bring the wolverine down on his knees. it’s even more potent when he trips over himself seeing you in your natural environment instead of all dressed up for a first date, slightly sweaty from the heat radiating off the stove, unkempt hair sticking to the sides of your face, no makeup or defenses up— just you as yourself to the core.
“alright, bub, let's get you seated…” it took a few tries to get her in because she refused to align her little legs into the holes of the plastic piece, but she eventually got into it just fine and he pulled up his own chair to watch you place a one of the most decadent plates of pasta with chunks of salmon he’s ever seen in front of him with a word of gratitude. 
“sorry it isn’t anything special, i completely forgot that i arranged this in the first place….”
“oh, no, it’s perfect—”
“you’re damn right ‘it’s perfect!’” wade interjected, “lemme tell you, wolvie, this simple plate of pasta is better than sex, i know damn well you’ve never tasted anything like it in all your two-hundred years!”
“well, now that you say it like that, he’s going to have high expectations and it will taste like ass compared to the actual best pasta dish he’s ever had.”
“he likes ass, don’t worry—”
the said man cleared his throat to steer the conversation back around, feeling the foreign sensation of embarrassment burning his face hit him at full force. “it’s delicious, thank you, truly the best i’ve ever tasted.”
“aw, you don’t have to say that.”
“no, he’s right, i think you really outdid yourself this time!”
the dinner was carried by cheerful conversations and fun stories, and despite just meeting you today, logan almost felt like he knew you for years and this was something a commonplace tradition between loved ones which was something he’s been yearning for for as long as he can remember. as he watches you laugh and feed your adorable baby, he can’t help but wonder about the idiotic man who was willing to throw away something so wonderful— something which would complete his life and fill the void in his heart.
“well, you two can hang around while i clean her up and put her to bed. there’s some wine and beer in—” you watched as deadpool had already opened your fridge and was digging around like a raccoon in trash before fishing out two bottles of beers and closing the door with his hips. “alrighty then, i’ll join you two in a bit.”
he watched as you disappeared into the hallway before diving headfirst into the couch next to the wolverine and handing him his beer, kicking his feet and smiling as if he was a middle-schooler at an all girls’ sleepover. “okay, so she has a solid job as an accountant, has her own place and car, is funny and pretty, but most importantly for you, single. she doesn’t like flowers as gifts, but if you gift her groceries or cleaning supplies—”
“she wouldn’t want an asshole like me,” he grunted, taking a sip from the bottle. “not when she just got free from another one.”
“peanut, i met the other guy, you’re infinitely better than him! as much as i would like to keep you to myself, i have already planned out my speech at your wedding as your best man, so just keep in mind that i’m your wingman, okay? don’t lie to me either, i know you have a little crush, and i think she does too—”
“no, she doesn’t.”
“quit cutting me off, you motherfucker!”
it was easier to try and suppress the sprouting seed of infatuation before it bloomed out of control. he didn’t want to hurt you or himself by chasing something that shouldn’t be in the first place. you deserve better, you and your daughter. you both should have someone who was younger and had the energy to be a good father and husband, not some old mutant who was freeloading off of his roommate and terrified of losing more people he cared about. if you knew about the blood on his hands and the claws embedded in them, you would probably be worried that you allowed him to hold your baby and shun him permanently. 
and yet he was already attached, sitting here imagining domestic life where he could see her grow up through the phases of life and help her navigate its complexities while also waking up next to you in his arms and seeing your beautiful smile everyday. 
maybe he won’t let that glimmer of hope die out and just hold onto it for a little while longer, allowing it to leave a little lingering smile on his weary face.
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ithebookhoarder · 7 months ago
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Hello hi ! 🤗
Can you do a "bau reacts" when they are undercover in public and about to be found out so the reader just starts making out with them to pretend they are just a couple?
(BAU Headcanons) Making out Undercover
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A/N: Mwahaha. Oh, this is a good prompt. Thanks for making me daydream all afternoon. Enjoy my lovelies 😉 Also, as a note, I'm writing the main BAU where I'm at watching it (season 13) plus Luke as he was requested previously 💕
Warnings: Mentions of threat, mentions of weapons, alcohol references, sexual references, implied cases / unsubs. (Let me know if I missed any)
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Aaron Hotchner
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We know Aaron doesn’t go undercover for most cases, so this would have to be a big case to get him into the field. 
This man would be in shock. Let’s be real. He would freeze in place and try to argue for a split second until he realises what you’re trying to do and why - even if you were already together. 
As soon as they’re gone though, you’d glance up and see his usual steely glare that tells you you’re in for a scolding once this is over. 
However, you’d have to be blind to miss the way he lingers for a moment, holding you close for half a second longer than necessary. 
“I feel I should remind you that we are in the field, and whilst it may have worked, I can’t endorse it as a tactic in future. Understood?” 
“So I’m hearing that we’re leaving this off of our case report then?” 
“Agreed. I don’t need to give Strauss anything else to use to go after us and the team.”
He would roll his eyes and take off after the Unsub, but you’d have to be blind to miss the way he smirks as he goes. 
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David Rossi 
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He’d be a little embarrassed but mostly quite smug about the whole thing, even if you were supposed to be undercover. 
“Well, I can safely say in all my years in this field I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before.” 
He’d also refuse to let you apologise for your actions afterwards either. 
One, because he’s kind of flattered. 
Two, because he’s been around the block a few times and knows that sometimes you have to do what it takes to solve a case or protect yourselves. 
Three, you were supposed to be a couple and kissing is what couples do. He’s only sour because if anything he would have liked to be the one who kissed you. 
“Relax about it, would you? I won’t tell you some of the things Gideon and I had to do back in the old days. That was before all this new paperwork and guidelines, so that’s all I’ll say on the matter.” 
You make a point of remembering to ask him about that at your next night off over drinks. 
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Derek Morgan
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Derek is always up for anything so I feel like he’d be pretty relaxed about being undercover with you, even if you weren't together romantically. He has no issue playing your pretend boyfriend for one night, and is quick to wrap his arm around you. 
Which is why it would be such a surprise to him when it’s you who initiated the kiss. 
Derek would freeze for like a second, but only out of shock. However, you know he wouldn’t fight you on it. 
The second his brain catches up to his body he would be kissing you back, doing everything in his power to match your energy and sell this kiss. 
If anything, you’re going to have to be the one to break away once the coast is clear and remind him you’re still technically in the field and that your team is probably wondering where the hell you are right now - and why you stopped responding to your comms. 
“I’m just saying, if we get to do that then we need to be partnered up more often.” 
“Yeah yeah, Morgan. Let’s just hope Penelope didn’t see that else we’ll never be hearing the end of it.” 
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Emily Prentiss
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She’s been undercover plenty of times in her life and spent a whole chunk of time actually fake-married to Doyle for an op, so she’d be the most comfortable and understanding if you grabbed her for a kiss - especially if you were meant to be a fake couple. 
She’d work it out pretty quickly and would respond in kind, pressing herself against you and running her hands all over you. 
“Quick thinking with the kiss,” she’d whisper as she brushed a kiss against your neck. 
She’d also know exactly where the Unsub is afterwards too, having kept watch in her peripheral vision. 
She wouldn’t even have to break eye contact with you before she informed you, “3 o’clock. He just left out the fire exit.” 
With that, she’d be off. 
She also probably wouldn’t even bring it up again until you’re both back on the jet. Then she’d be smirking at you across the top of her drink and chuckling to herself. 
“Normally I’d insist dinner first but given that we caught that bastard I think we’re even.” 
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JJ
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JJ knows about going undercover and it takes a lot to rattle her. She would probably go along with the action, even if she’d stay kind of stiff for a good minute or so. 
However, she’s a good agent and knows about maintaining a cover so quickly catches on when you pull her in. 
She’d return the kiss, shooting glances out the corner of her eye when she thinks it might be safe to check on their target. If it doesn’t look like they’re buying it, she’ll turn things up a notch and spin you around so that she could take control. 
“My gun is under my jacket. Reach for it slowly if he comes any closer,” she’d warn, but thankfully you don’t need it. Eventually they leave, distracted by something else, leaving you and JJ to recover.
After catching your breath, you both take off in the direction your target just left in. You can tell JJ is trying not to laugh about what just happened, choosing to make it funny rather than uncomfortable if you weren't together romantically.  
Which means you know she’d enjoy teasing you about it in front of the others, making your cheeks burn as she announces on the jet: “For the record, even though it was a ‘cover kiss’ it was pretty good. Just saying. Maybe you should give Morgan some tips. That way he might get a girl to call him back after a first date.” 
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Luke Alvez
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It doesn’t matter if he’s ex-army or whatever. Undercover is not really Luke’s thing and even then, he is more used to infiltrating gangs than playing house. 
Basically, he would be surprised by your actions, despite being undercover together. Like, I can see his eyebrows hitting his hairline so fast, bless him. He’d look like a deer in headlights. 
“Woah, sweetheart, slow your roll-“ 
“- Luke. Shut up and kiss me. Now.” 
“I - ok.” 
Just like that, he’d take control, turning and pressing you against the nearest wall in an attempt to shield you from whoever was watching. He’d also be such a gentleman about it if you weren't already together romantically, keeping his hands on your waist and pulling away the minute he’s sure the danger has passed. 
Even then, he’d wait a minute before letting the two of you move from your position, just in case they come back. He’s your partner and he’s returning the favour for you keeping him safe, even if in an unsuspected manner.
“You good?”
“Luke. Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I was the one who planted myself on you.” 
“Potato, po-tah-to. Are they still over there?”
“No. They just left out the back.”
“Then let’s go, partner. Let’s catch this freak.” 
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Penelope Garcia 
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If Penelope is in the field then you know she is already hella nervous and out of her element. It doesn’t matter if there was a reason she was needed for this particular assignment, she would just take that as added pressure not to let everyone down.
Which is why I’m sure you’d feel worse about planting one on her - even if it does also help distract her from worrying for a minute.  
All I can imagine is her giving her trademark squeal of confusion and surprise, even if you gave her a hasty warning - and apology - about what you were going to do.
She’d be stunned at what was happening and probably takes a minute to realise she should probably try and kiss you back, or at least look less visibly startled about it. 
“I feel I should point out how unfair it is that this is permitted as ‘suitable workplace behaviour’ as we’re undercover, yet my flirtatious texts with Agent Morgan are not? I will be writing a strongly worded email when we get back, telling HR they can go shove their-”
“Pen? Hey, focus here. Unsub still watching us.” 
“Oh, right. Sorry! Ahem… as you were?”  
Also, you know that like a day or so later, once it’s all over, she sends you an email informing you that your new username on the BAU system is now ‘smoochykins’ and she will not change it until it becomes not-funny for her… which will probably be never. After all, Morgan has been ‘Chocolate Thunder’ for the last two years and is still going strong.  
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Dr Spencer Reid
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Spencer has been undercover before and is usually quite calm about it, even if it is faking a date or maintaining a story. Still, despite having to do your jobs, you’d hate to make him uncomfortable, knowing how he feels about any kind of physical contact - especially if you're not together. 
As he says, with the amount of bacteria shared by shaking hands you’d be safer kissing … guess it was time to take it literally. 
He’d be blushing like a tomato as you grab his jacket lapels and pull him close. And honestly? it’s kind of adorable. As is the way he tries to kiss you back, even if he still takes a minute to remember how to even move his body. 
I’m just picturing the Lila kiss in season one and how he eased into that and how stunned / embarrassed he seemed afterwards. He would pretty much be like that, but with a fake smile on his face as he rambled in your ear. 
“What was that?”
“I was covering our asses. We’re undercover, remember? We’re supposed to be a couple and couples kiss. Also, I’d thought you know, genius, that kissing and displays of public affection make people extremely uncomfortable.”
“No kidding… Morgan can never find out about this.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice. You got a deal, pretty boy. This is between us.” 
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