#but i wish ppl would know i'm not like other aroaces and i will NOT freak out if u say u like me....

[chemicalarospec]

took a myspace angle pic of myself cuz i trimmed my hair to be a bit more emo and i'm actually cute, i do NOT get appreciated enough

[bloodbathand-beyond]

growing up as an arospec ace kid, I used to spend so much time wishing I was "normal", wishing I got crushes and shit like everyone else. which sounds super stereotypical and angsty, but whatever.

before I learned those words, I just though there was something wrong with me.

after I learned them, it was really nice to have that community, and know there were other people like me, but I still found myself wishing I was allo, bc that would have made things so much easier for me.

looking back on it now, though, I'm so happy to be aroace. bc while I admit it was a hellscape for awhile, I have insight on things that a lot of allo ppl will never even think about.

the difference between sexual and romantic attraction.

what sexual and romantic attraction even are.

the importance of platonic, familial, etc relationships.

how sexual relationships ≠ sexual attraction, and romantic relationships ≠ romantic attraction

and so many more things that I can't think of right this second

but because I never experienced those types of attraction, I had to think about them so much more, while ppl who do experience sexual and romantic attraction are considered the default, so it's not something they ever had to consider.

idk where I was going with this but ANYWAY—

[clonehigh-takes]

Big fan of achillean/mlm topher but part of me wishes that he becomes canonly aroace for some reason. And I don't know why. Its not because I don't want him to have a crush on Joan or even abe ig. Cause like what if in episode 8(hate this episode writing wise at least for that plotline) he's just trolling? Like he just doesn't want to to see couples happy. He's a character that literally trolls ppl online for feeling good about themselves but that's not why I think it I think its cause he's just not a romantic person in general like he says he likes Joan but the most he does is smile at her I'm not against him liking Joan I was excited to see it and but tbh he treated her kind of like the other bleacher creatures at times. The writers don't show it to much.

But it would be a nice balance compared to all the relationship drama.

i think itd be nice. more aroace rep. plus due to his past "crush" on joan they would definitely do a good storyline about feeling like you need to have a crush so you pick someone it feels reasonable to like, maybe giving the reason he chose her because others seemed to like her, romantically and as a friend. they could reveal he figured himself out when he met the other creatures and they helped him understand which could explain how he acts towards joan in the newer season, treating her like just one of the creatures rather than the crush he proclaimed she is. butttt unfortunately, clone high prefers focussing on the relationship aspect so having a character thats in the spotlight completely diverge from that wouldn't be ideal for them for whatever reason. plus they probably wouldn't write it well and wouldn't explain any behaviors hes had that seem to be acts of an allo person, not that the fandom wouldnt be able to themselves

[illumoonated]

Thoughts about Wednesday (the show)

I wished i liked the Wednesday show more. Truly. But...

...the writing felt half-assed. The characters felt lazy. The addams family felt not quite weird enough. It seemed to be a very safe (somewhat boring) reboot that ppl are groveling over simply bc they want winclair to be canon (which, fine do your thing -- but you're setting yourselves up for heartbreak bc these writers/showrunners give zero effs about making wednesday canonically queer). The love triangle was actually painful to watch.

There was throw-away "representation" with her being asked if she was into someone a "guy...or you know, a girl?" to get woke points. Someone else pointed it out too, but the black male mayor being told he doesn't "know what it's like to be not heard" was so incredibly tone deaf it threw me off. As well as the only real POCs having a personality being the actual Addams crew.

(The siren queen bee was cool but she like immediately became Wednesday's bestie after 2 minutes of a heart to heart at a dance? Idk she felt wasted/characterized too quickly to feel impactful when she helped in the last episode. There was no emotional "oomph" to her being on Wednesday's team.) ((Also there was the aapi vampire who smiled once and had a single line of dialogue or smth...? wish we got more from her bc that's a cool-ass concept of being stuck in a place like nevermore where ppl know you're an immortal--like I was waiting for a big reveal to be pulled from this vamp being like "hey I knew your parents when they went here, oh, that fancy book you need? I have read all the nevermore books so many times I can just rewrite it for you by memory, where's your typewriter?")) Basically none of the students "banded together" for Wednesday in a believable way. They just...did....?

And if the intent was to simply get a flavor of the month moody white boi as Wednesday's love interest -- fine, but you didn't even make them likeable (not the actors' faults, bc they were clearly given no direction other than "go and be in love w wednesday for no reason bc she's MC"). And Wednesday as a character would avoid the moody bois and possessive "nice guys" like the plague (pun not intended) and would find interest in a strange/true social outcast more. (If she's gotta be with a boy make sure it's like whatshisface in Addams Family Values who is nerdy and nervous and a true social outcast that Wednesday had a real banter/challenge with instead of gross obsession/ownership like fuccboi #1 and #2. Again, not the actors' faults.)

I am so torn as an ace person bc I want her to be aroace so badly (and I believe it would be an appropriate identity for her). I also don't want to be the ace person being like "no winclair shouldn't be canon" bc I want sapphic stories to be represented but I hate how any close platonic relationships are automatically romanticized/ran away with despite how the characters feel about the other person. Again, if this is a friends(roomates) to lovers story fine. But there's zero chance that'll happen with the writing where it's currently at (I mean, they can change this but rn I don't see it happening).

TL;DR 1. wednesday shows how thirsty we all are for true queer rep/romantic or otherwise

2. the love triangle trope (esp the cishet ones) have to be damn good in this day and age to be worthwhile (the triangles in 1899 come to mind as good, current examples involving fleshed out characters with chemistry)

3. the show is trying to earn woke points without committing,

4. the addams family is mischaracterized from the source material,

5. this reboot entry is safe, lazy, and predictable from a plot, character, and worldbuilding standpoint (I was expecting far out weird/spooky shit like the Sabrina netflix series tbh and was really disappointed in how safe this reboot played it)

6. I wish I wanted winclair to be canon but i don't and I wish I did so ppl don't think i'm being "too ace" or "anti-" bc anytime platonic relationships occur between two pretty ppl the internet loses its mind and disregards what the characters actually feel about each other (reinforcing that friendship < romance)

[allianaavelinjackson]

HAPPY BLORBO BLURSDAY LIA!!! *pops a party popper right in your face

What would your characters do if they received a love confession? (from someone they don't like in return, from someone they DO, or both. yes this is free reign to rant abt anaya and raylen I wanna learn more about them)

*collapses dramatically like I've been shot*

well actually I want to answer this so

*gets up and dusts self off*

this is a Very Interesting Question because I too am Deeply Invested in my sapphic children but I'm also excited to answer this for the others so it's gonna be a long one

ok so I'll start off with kyri because I feel kyri is actually on the aroace spectrum or she's just straight up aroace, and she's more on the queerplatonic angsty relationship side than the actual romance side, so if someone confessed to her then rip said person most likely, get them a tissue for the brutal rejection. ordinary sane ppl probably would not have a crush on kyri tho

Julien? I'm not sure about him but he gives Gay Repressed and honestly its a toss up between him running away blushing and screaming or his heart skips one (1) beat and he's an asshole to love interest for the next 2 weeks. good luck getting him to divulge anything until he's ready, which is probably sometime next century. if he gets a confession from someone he doesn't like back he'll probably be nicer because he has No Feelings Involved he'll just be like aw that's nice :) with his Formal Ass Manners and be like I Appreciate The Admiration Thanks For The Courtesy

KALLAN??? oH BOY. ok so you know those screenshotted Tumblr posts of Beautiful Dumb Bisexual Boy. yeah that's him in the romantic world. that's literally him. his responses range from a finger gun to the cheesiest pickup line, and it's so cheesy youll wish you never confessed in the first place. that's for if he doesn't like you back tho so like rip. I feel like kallan would literally be the crush of every single straight girl in the academy and then he ends up with a boy as his first kiss or smthg so like yeah he probably gets confessions regularly but ppl think him and Raylen are dating for like months and it is a great source of internal pain to Anaya (poor girl) but really they're just a couple of bi af besties. anyway if he does like you back he'll probably have this v serious face and insist on talking it all out and stuff he's cute af

Ok RAYLEN,,

I feel like she's got the like. top vibes. but she's a simp. but top vibes. and she'd like play it cool. and she'd be the type to go LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO in private after they kiss or whatever and Anaya would be looking thru the door and laughing. if she doesn't like you back then she'd probably let you down really gently and seriously cuz Feelings Are Important to her. I won't go too much into detail but I'll talk about Raylen and Anaya as a ship later on

and Anaya. ok this is probably the one I have the most thoughts about, because I want Anaya to be a really emotionally complex character. so she'd probably also let you down very gently because one thing for Raylen and Anaya is that emotions are very important tm and they're both very emotionally intelligent. but if she receives a confession from someone she liKes? bro would combust. bro wouldn't be around for the next step. bro takes her own feelings wayyyyy too seriously. she's obsessed.

I feel Anaya is more of the person to drop hints and do the whole confession thing and MAKE the moves tbh. and Raylen somehow manages to evade every single one while trying to tell anaya as well, because she's Dumb.

them as a ship? would be a really interesting dynamic because they both are simps in different ways, like Anaya is the shit she wore xx item today help and Raylen is the I don't know what color your shirt even is but I'll die for you in combat rn if you like

and Anaya suffers greatly bc of this. neither of them would make any moves at first tho like it would be a really really really really really really really really really slow burn, and Anaya just ignores it until she just Cannot and Explodes. she's the aware one and raylens the dumb one. not in the sense that Raylen doesn't notice, she just notices and thinks Oh Friendship :) idk what the blushing is for tho maybe it's just the weather.

Poor Dumb Queers, the lot of them.

I would do more for Zophie and Chase but I think this post is long enough as a debut writeblr post

this was actually rlly fun even tho I accidentally deleted it once and cried for half an hour so THANKS SER I appreciate it looking forward to More Asks!!!!

[gofrenchie]

frenchie of course

one aspect about them i love: the unbridled optimism and the confidence he has when scamming. that's my fucking guy

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: this is hard bc we don't know a lot about him (yet?? i hope?) but i wish ppl talked more about how smart he is. like as evidenced by the incredibly well-executed scheme at the party

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: aroace frenchie!!! i also like to think he's a self-taught musician and had no intentions of becoming a pirate but stede saw him busking and was like "want a job?" bc he can't just Not have a musician on his pirate ship. also not a headcanon but i'm dying to know how/when/where he traveled since he told lucius the world was just kinda rocky and flat

one character i love seeing them interact with: obviously wee john #roompeople ftw but also ed! his relationship with ed is one of my favorite on the show and i'm excited to see how it evolves in s2

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: izzy because they're just polar opposites. like izzy is oscar the grouch and frenchie is abby cadabby. i want frenchie to very quietly play his lute one night after everyone's asleep and for izzy to come out ready to scream at him but then slowly recognize the song as like a lullaby from his childhood? and instead of yelling he just says smth like "don't let blackbeard catch you playing that thing" and walks away. and then slowly he and frenchie become something like friends

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: pretty much just answered this fhdjsjk. i want odd couple frenchizzy in s2! (odd couple like the two old men in the tv show not like an actual couple though hey i could be open to it)

[aroace-cat-lady]

The Extraordinaries

Fuck you TJK and your stupid tendency to make me have feelings. I hate you so much for that.

Anyways, it's 2:50am rn. And talking about this book is gonna take me a long time. Because I absolutely loved it.

Like. I just don't know were to start. The dedication made me cry. The first chapter is one of the most hilarious yet deepest things this guy has written. His foreshadowing is amazing (hate you for that too, Klune). I'm never gonna get tired of his writing, from his representation to his sense of humor.

I do think this book isn't for everyone. I adored each second of it for plenty of reasons: the characters are fantastic, the premise is good and this fucking guy just has a way to make you want to eat the stupid book with just a couple of pages. But what really did it for me was the way he portrait neurodivergency.

Screw you, Rick Riordan (/j you're pretty ok). Nicky Bell is the kind of character I would protect with my life. I wish I was joking. But he's just that. I hate to feel seeing, and normally reading about a character I relate embarrassed me and it's uncomfortable for many reasons but mostly because it doesn't happens too often. But this guy. This guy. God, this guy. It didn't make me feel just seeing. It didn't make me feel like some personality tread. It make me feel... valid?? Idk how to express it. THE POINT HERE IS that reading this goddamn book was like reading a booklet about my brain. Wasn't weird, because TJK didn't made it weird. A brain is a brain even if not every brain is the same. Was amazing. And thank god my biggest hyperfixation isn't a real human being but a book character cuz ohhh Lorde, I would've been just like Nicky.

And the verbal vomit was so relatable I swear to fucking god--

And I read some reviews on goodreads and I stand with what I said before: this isn't for everyone.

I'm pretty use to how TJK writes his books. I know that the first 30-50% is gonna be one thing, after that TJ blows your mind/breaks your heart, then you start crying/panicking, but finally all the pieces fall in their places, and we have a wholesome final chapter, it ends. And then TJK announces Midnights: 3am tracks and you won't sleep 'till 5am.

This works for me. I know it doesn't for everyone.

Now, this is the first book of a trilogy. Which means is an introduction to such trilogy. I trust TJK enough to know the couple of breakdowns I had reading this won't compare to the tons of crying I'm gonna have to go thru while reading the other two parts.

Okay so. I pretty much talked about what I wanted to talk, so now I'm just gonna point out a few things I also loved from this book:

Secondary characters. All of them are incredible.

Plot twist?? Tbh I have never been good to know when a plot twist is a plot twist cuz most of the times I'm like Yeah, called it. And I did called it. All of them. So, yei me :)

Skwinkles Salsagheti. Look, I'm mexican. I took this personal. I'm gonna go full fangirl mood at the store because a white guy decided to put them in his book. I'm serious, independence day don't make me half as proud as it did that his wholesome ship gifted this stupid candy to each other.

Ao3. Tumblr. I don't need to say more.

Seth Gray. God. Nicky and I are the same cuz we both know this guy is the most adorable human being and feel a need to squeeze him everytime he shows up. But I'm aroace and Nicky is Nicky so we had different reasons to do it. But still. Adorable.

References. I have this thing were is curse TJL very loudly everytime I see a reference to his other books. Like, there's no other scenario were I scream YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH as much as I do reading TJK. It's amazing.

Definitely I'm missing some stuffs. But least assume they are cool stuffs.

Okay, so. I have to point out this too: the mc's dad is a cop. Some ppl got mad because of the way TJK talked about cops here. In the "this is police propaganda" way. I didn't feel it like that, but I'm not american. This was published in 2020, which means was written between 2018 and 2019. I'll let you guys decide what to do with this.

To conclude: it's 3:34am my dad is throwing up in the bathroom and fuck you TJK cuz I'm gonna keep reading your stupid books cuz the queer representation just hits different. And they make me laugh so much. And just. Screw you.

[4uru]

Art i did of my bff (ex-gf and also ex-queer platonic partner) i used to call her bunny. I got so sad after she broke up with me that i gave this art away to our mutual (now kinda ex) friend. But i genuinely loved this piece. But it hurt too much to look at it back then. Now i wish i had it.

Context: (im oversharing besties)

My bff and i were bffs since 6th grade, i had a big ol' gay crush on her. And she is aroace, i knew she was aroace before she even did, bc she was going thru this crisis for a fucking while.

She knew about my crush, and was okay with it. Around 8th grade she convinced herself that she was not aroace but demiro. (Bc internalized aphobia) and then kinda forced herself to have a crush on me bc the logic was that if shes demi then i am the perfect candidate for her. Bc i was her best friend. She thought she was a lesbian at one point but then considered that maybe thats not the case bc I'm trans? So her being somewhat attracted to me queer platonically was the red herring.

She confessed to me in 8th grade that she likes me romantically (which was a lie she told to herself and me) she told our extremely heteronormative friend this (who now has the art) and that friend set us up?? We started dating, after one day she tell me we need to break up, bc me calling her my gf made her realise this was all a big mistake.

We didnt talk for weeks, it hurt. Then we started to get close again, we redefined our relationship as queer platonic partners, it suited us better, suited our relationship better. We even almost had a date (our other friends crashed it not knowing we were on a date) it was all going well but then she told me a queer platonic relationship is still a relationship, and she was way too much under pressure to continue it. That hurt more than anything else. This was last year.

We drifted apart for the most part of this year. The people in my class convinced her to not talk to me as much, recently she apologised and we reconnected, we hanve better communication skills now.

this bitch broke my heart more times than i can count in over 4 years, still i keep crawling back to her like a dog. I wished many times that i could let her go, but at this point my love for her is beyond definition.

The mind fuck she put me through. The codependency we had.

There were times we noticed that we were completely isolated from our class. Bc we did it to ourselves. Theres no body else i would rather be stuck with than her. But now? All my feelings are numb, i just watched the love of my life, my best friend in the entire world, my life line, become just a good friend.

I know ppl drift apart after highschool. But oh god. I'm not ready to let her go. I cant pretend to be friends anymore. Its so hollow.

[aroaceconfessions]

(sorry for th negativity, long day and these thoughts have been stirring for a LONG time...)

I'm so so so so tired of the SAM now being the default in the community. I've bottled it up bc it's not the majority opinion and we're all tired of being erased but a post going around rn brought it all back up and I wanted to vent. It's just sum1 expressing frustration that canon ace characters that also lack romantic attraction aren't instead called aroace, which I understand but man. It had almost a thousand notes with every1 agreeing but my only thought was that if I made a nonsam aspect character, would that be considered bad rep to most of the aspec community? If they lacked any attraction but was just aro like me, would I just be hurting my community more? I feel like the way we approach our identities changed after all the exclus shit and now I almost feel I don't belong or. somthing. Sorry if that's guilt trippy, I don't mean it to at all. We're barely acknowledged, so I get it but idk. The most I see nonsams talked abt is when sum1 says not to forget us... but then non of the ways ppl talk reflect it if that makes sense? It's still treated as if u have to be aroallo or alloace or aroace and tagging a post abt sexual attraction as aro or romantic as ace is bad, even if it applies for u. On ADoV ppl posted abt how much it sucks 2 see them tagged as aromantic, even tho for me it was really really nice :( I like celebrating ace days as a nonsam aro, it's not quite MY day but it's close. And on aro days the tag is full of ppl reminding us not to mention or tag asexuality too. I just wish we could go back to the aro and ace having blurry boundaries w/out necessarily being aroace yknow? There's so much focus on separating now that those of us that can't are just left behind. Again. But on the other hand as an aro I know we're all sick of erasure so I get us being more defensive lol. Idk sorry again for the longass negative message, u can delete if it's too much

[avenger-hawk]

Hey hawk, did you observe a pattern among people who participate in Woke-ism culture, they seem to have similar "traits" and "personality"? Dislike the "straight" orientation (usually identify themselves as gay/lesbian/bi and brags they are LGBT every second), they seem to think gender identity is a personality trait etc therefore "I'm holier than thou because I list myself as she/he/they/it". I bet they are gonna scream at me for being whatever "phobic" just because of this post lol

*clears throat* yeah they gonna scream at you but they can’t scream at me because it’s been a year that I am in an lgbt relationship soooo xD

Ofc I noticed this kind of behavior, these woke ppl really like be ‘different’ and tbh the thing I find more irritating is when they define themselves ‘autistic’ or ‘asperger’ or ‘adhd’ whathever other mental illness/condition, because these are serious things that should be diagnosed by a specialist and not an online tests, and usually ppl who have a real problem are not so incredibly vocal about it. Sure they don’t brag with it....”but I don’t have money to take a test and my parents don’t let me!” they say? yeah. could be. but it also could be that you just wanna look special and since you’re socially anxious or shy or just a b*tch, you like to play rude and then justify yourself with those labels, and if someone dares tell you you’re a piece of shit you can call them ableist lol

Same for race or country. Not taking anything away from populations/countries/cultures/religions that have been oppressed, but sometimes I cringe cause some ppl try so hard to fit in this. Like, at some point 99% of populations were invaded by others and oppressed, and I’m sorry for welsh ppl, to just name one (no offense it’s the first that came to my mind cause I read a post recently lol) but if this continues we’re gonna have to seek justice for the victims of the vikings’ raids lolol

Anyway, back to what you were saying. I partly get that lgbt ppl are vocal about what they are bc maybe they can’t tell their families or friends, and they use social media as outlets. but like you said, your personality is not defined by who you f*ck and/or love (It’s not even defined by the fiction you like, actually, but they think so). So while I understand ppl describe themselves in their profile and specify their gender identity and sexuality, for me it’s cringey when they take it too far. Like when they start with all the labels ever, or they make combinations...demisexual panromantic/asexual demiromantic/trans nonbinary aroace spectrum...sounds like a competition of who’s less ordinary. Bonus points if they also add race and illness. Bonus points if they pretend they’re experts and activist and they shit on ppl who ship something or speak of top/bottom bc they’re fetishizing gay mlm/wlw and how dare they, dirty cishets (cause Anon, straight is a too banal word lol).

(also...not to offend ‘aroace’ ppl out there but...when someone is like 12...couldn’t it be that they’re just...too young for caring about sex/love? asking for a friend lolol)

I mean, tumblr has a lot of lgbt ppl and it’s cool, and I know it’s hard to live as an lgbt person cause you can’t do what het ppl do normally, like kissing in public or holding hands or writing cute posts on fb bc someone might bitch or be even worse, so this creates a bitterness and aggressiveness on social media I guess, especially here where minorities are the majority lol. And I too, on my personal blog, occasionally ranted about things like internalized homophobia and queerbaiting, but only very rarely lol and no one paid attention to me, guess I am not lgbt enough hahahah

But, it’s stupid to use sexuality labels as a shield to shit on ppl and then call them --phobic when they react. It actually happened to me a couple of years ago, I wrote something about bottom Sasuke and this self defined aromantic+asexual+autistic+gay american dude attacked me for fetishizing gays. Back then I was in a relationship with a guy so for him I was only a boring straight person I guess, a gross fujoshi who dared like mlm haha. fuck him. If I were the same type of person as him I would have pulled the oppressed card, I could have attacked him reminding him that his country treated italian immigrants like animals, and that they had this veeeery big problem of being unsure about our ‘race’ so in their papers they often wrote ? cause they couldn’t understand if we were poc or not...but it would have been kinda off topic and I cartainly don’t waste time talking about me to ppl I don’t even trust to be what they say.

Also because I was raised by parents who were very politically involved, so I remember them doing activism, like, getting out of the house, going to protests, doing volunteering, even taking me along when I was little. So even tho now everything happens online first, and even tho posts can spread awareness and change ppl’s minds, I still don’t trust when I see those blogs full of angry woke activism, because they seem fake and even those ppl seem fake. It’s easy to scream for justice from a keyboard, in a comfortable house. It’s less easy to protest in the cold, risking to have problems with the police, the government, the pandemic, whatever else.

It’s irritating that wokies want to take the right to like smth in the right way or whatever, telling everyone else who don’t fit in the minority group that they can’t like the thing. Idk, I just wish ppl were like in Eastern Asian fandoms, not making everything about themselves, being open minded enough for whatever ‘different’ thing whether they are into it or not, and if they’re not ignoring it only.

And I do get wanting to fit the minority, as a teenager I was veery punk/gothic, depending on the moment, and I never fit in the majority opinions or habits anyway. And I was kind of fluid with my identity and sexuality, but silly me, I kept it for myself, even tho I discussed with those who insulted lgbt ppl and I wrote stuff where everyone is bisexual by default, thinking that it was how people were born before society conditioned them...I could have bragged but I had no idea about ‘fluid’ or ‘pan’, silly me.

I am so irritated at everything, like the words they use, even the english language that is not mine, is getting on my nerves because it’s the vehicle for their crap, but these periodically trending words are disgusting like these ppl to me.

I migth have gone out of topic again lol.

[bloody-wonder]

Hi! I might be wrong about this so I'm sorry if I am but I think I remember a while ago on an ask about captive prince, I think you said something along the lines of the development of the main characters growing to love each other felt rushed? Or unrealistic or there was unsolved issues or something? Anyway, u said after that that u would rlly wanna read an enemies to lovers story where the ppl in the ship have done rlly horrible things to each other but yet the relationship can develop and it can be healthy and feel realistic. (I'm paraphrasing here sorry) ANYWAY, the real question I have is- is there a limit to the horrible things they could do? Like, is there a point where u think no matter how good the writing there is just no way of coming back from that and it being okay?

i don’t know?

i can’t say for sure until i read it bc that’s exactly the point - i want the author to convince me that this relationship could work. and i think many fictional relationships where people have hurt each other previously could work bc people change and forgiveness exists - but i believe in order for that to feel plausible and authentic the author should not rely on any romance tropes at all. bc many of those are problematic in itself and when you apply them to an “unconventional” relationship it only makes it worse.

which i believe is exactly the problem with capri - it’s a very compelling relationship story that’s trapped within the confines of the romance genre. and it’s a problem idk how to fix bc it being an enemies to lovers romance and relying on so many familiar tropes is exactly why so many people like it. you read it and you want laurent and damen to resolve their issues and get together, plausibility be damned, bc that’s what the story structure wants you to want in order to satisfy your expectations in the end. except i didn’t really feel satisfied and for a long time i thought that was bc cs pacat failed to convince me with how their relationship progressed in the second half of book three (bc it does feel very gradual and organic until everything makes a u-turn when jokaste appears). but recently i’ve realized that it’s only partly her fault bc she was just writing a romance and a romance has to have a happy ending with heroes ending up together unambiguously - otherwise it’s just another kind of story with a romance subplot. so in the end, unless you are willing to suspend your disbelief entirely, the way laurent and damen end up together with all their conflicts seemingly resolved, all their trauma “healed by Love” doesn’t feel authentic at all - especially in damen’s case.

that being said, when i look back on all the “problematic” ships i’ve ever liked i can see that with most of them i just had this vague desire for the characters to get together but i never thought about how their relationship would work after that and certainly not about whether it would be “healthy”. this is just not something i’m interested in in fiction. i wish everyone a nice boring healthy (whatever that means) relationship irl but as for fiction i like drama. (andreil is once again very much an exception bc nora is an aroace genius who said “fuck romance tropes”). i like insurmountable conflicts and intense, sometimes even toxic relationships. i like characters hurting each other, trying to forgive and failing and trying once again. i like forgiveness as a theme in general bc that’s something i struggle with irl and so i’m interested in deconstructing the christian dogma of forgiveness being the answer to everything and in exploring whether some realtionships could work without the characters forgiving each other. i like when love and hatred are presented as two sides of the same coin and when the character has an existential crisis about having fallen in love with the only wrong person. 

usually î want to experience this fictional Drama much more than i want the reassurance that the characters will have a healthy loving relationship in post-canon bc they are fictional, they are here to entertain me and that’s what i happen to find entertaining. when i ship characters that have hurt each other very badly i’m not necessarily looking for whatever scenario would be the “healthiest” - i’m looking for the one that would satisfy me personally the most.

[spookybreadstick]

Hi!! I'm looking to get a Premium matchup if those r still open!

- My name is Mara

- I'm Genderfluid (she/they pref)

- I'm Pan aroace-spec (and poly) with a preference for guys!

- My love languages are Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation

- I'm 5'3", chubby, with dark brown hair and blue-gray eyes

- I tend to be more aloof and cold when first meeting people, and can come off mean due to me just. being sorta apathetic towards ppl i dont rlly know, but when I warm up to someone I tend to be much more lively, sweet, and kind!! I've been told I bend over backwards for people a bit too much tbh ^^;; I'm stubborn and can be bratty and/or jealous at times (though ik how to cope w it p well). I'm also REALLY protective and can get quite emotional and moody at times!

- I enjoy just. Doing Things:tm: in general, most recently I've taken up making jewelry and I want to learn to play guitar! I also write, sing, and draw!

- I hate manipulative people, liars (unless they have a good reason), and people who aren't loyal. I also really hate needles and when it's dead silent, so I tend to listen to music a lot to distract myself from it.

- I would prefer a partner who could make me feel safe and grounded, as I can have paranoia episodes+have p severe social anxiety. My above noted aloofness is literally just me being shy and/or scared,, plus I just really enjoy the feeling of being protected. Makes me feel nice and special :)

few things about your ask i’d like to mention: a) i’ve recently been interested in making jewelry as well! b) i wish i could sing and i wish i could draw, so i envy you c) manipulative people, liars, and people who aren’t loyal are all the worst, i agree d) i have a phobia of needles as well, but luckily i’ve been getting a lot better with it! e) i agree with you on how it feels nice to be protected! it’s like a warm and fuzzy feeling that’s so nice!

💝💝💝 I Match You With: Slenderman! 

Similar Likes: writing, drawing, playing guitar (this is something he does in private, since he doesn’t think he’s any good and it’s not something he’d really like to share with people, but he’d be happy to teach you if you want)

Similar Dislikes: liars and people who aren’t loyal 

Why You'd Make A Good Match: Slender is definitely a dad figure in the mansion, so it’s in his nature to care for people. He would love to take care of you and make sure you feel safe. He’d do that with any partner he has, but if he knows you particularly enjoy it, then he’d do it that much more. He’s got experience in grounding people (most of the people in the mansion have got some sort of anxiety issues), so he’d be very helpful if you’re having a hard time. His love language is also quality time, he’d just like to sit and be with you! 

Potential Relationship Clashes: Slender is not human, so he doesn’t really know how to deal with emotional drama/brattiness when it comes to relationships. Like, he knows how to deal with it when it’s the other members of the mansion, because that, to him at least, is like dealing with children. But when you’re his partner, his equal, his lover, it’s a bit trickier for him. You will have to directly tell him what you’re feeling and how he can make it better before he can actually do anything to improve your mood. 

What He Loves The Most About You: Slender loves your loyalty and kindness to those who you know well. It’s important that you have these loyal traits, because for him, that means everything. When you’re a creature like him, you don’t always know who you can trust. Knowing that you have each other’s trust means the world to him, and he will do everything in his power to show you how much you mean to him.