#bc morality is complex and the world is fucked up sometimes

[byfulcrums]

Seeing people saying that Satoru doesn't actually care about Suguru and that the only reason Kenjaku caught him was bc he was surprised to see a person he killed alive is fucking wild, man

Like. Gojo's entire life revolves around Geto. The entire series happens because he loved Suguru too much to kill him, even though he knew he would have to do it eventually. The world literally went to shit because he wasn't over him

Geto Suguru's life would be completely unimportant to the story without Gojo Satoru, and Gojo Satoru's would be completely unimportant without Geto Suguru. They complement each other. They need each other

Two male betta fishes can't coexist. They will fight and one will die. They can't see each other — even if they're in different tanks, they won't be able to live. They'd eventually tire each other out, resulting in death. The only way for Satoru and Suguru's lives to be able to continue without the other would've been for them to never have met at all. And they can't be together. Not now, not ever again. Not while they're still alive. Not after everything that's happened

The entire story revolves around their relationship. Yuuji is a boy who ate a curse('s finger[s]), and Megumi is the prodigy who befriends him. Satoru is a prodigy, the strongest, and Suguru, the boy whose technique is eating curses, befriends him. The Jujutsu Kaisen story is all about parallels and they all connect to fucking Satosugu. It's all about them

The only reason Kenjaku's plan worked is because the body he used didn't belong to some random person Gojo killed, it worked because the body he used was Geto Suguru's, Gojo's one and only, his best friend. He must be thinking “Thank god they're gay” right now lmao

Gojo fucking hesitated. He hesitated multiple times when it came to Geto. He was supposed to kill him, yet he let him go. He has the Six Eyes, he could've easily tracked him down. He probably could tell if he was nearby (he can recognize Suguru from his scent) and just didn't go looking for him. And he could've so very easily escaped the trap that was set up for him, he was going to run away from it because we see him about to take that step but then Suguru's body shows up and says “Yo, Satoru!” with Suguru's voice and Satoru freezes and hesitates

They weren't able to let go of each other even after years of being separated (like a decade). When they meet, Suguru still greets Satoru warmly

Suguru is pretty much Satoru's moral code. He was the only person Satoru took at least mildly seriously pre-Toji (and we know Satoru just didn't do serious back then). He actually took his words to heart. He was kind, of course (especially from Suguru's PoV, since he's the person that knows him most), and not a bad person, but he wasn't nice. Suguru was always the ‘nice(r) one’, the one who actually had a moral code, while Satoru was more of an asshole to literally everyone and everything (some more, some less), thinking he and Suguru were above everyone else

When Suguru finally snaps (which, honestly. Fair) and goes genocidal (not so fair), Satoru slowly starts to be somewhat nicer and starts applying Suguru's old moral code to his own being — their roles weren't exactly reversed, but now they're not together anymore, so they might as well be. And Suguru was shown for having faith in the school and its system while it was Satoru the one who absolutely abhorred the higher-ups and all kinds of authority, but then it ended up with Suguru being the one to leave and become a cult leader with the blood of hundreds on his hands while Satoru was the one that stayed behind in the same place of the people he despises so much

(Imagine someone saying something like “Sometimes I doubt you even have a moral code” and Gojo answers with “Oh, my best friend my one and only is pretty much my moral code. He went homicidal a while back but it's okay haha” “...Actually, that explains a few things”)

Gojo doesn't have a god complex, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. I mean, he might as well be the closest thing to god human beings have ever seen. He used to put himself above everyone else, when he was a teenager. He thought that, the higher he was, the more he could do. And no one was better than him. But not Suguru. Back then, it wasn't “I'm the strongest” it was “We're the strongest and “We're the best” and “We're the ones that will beat you” and “We're the duo” and it was all about “us, us, us, us, us” instead of “me, me, me, me” like people thought it was — they were a pair. They still are

We know people thought and still think of Gojo as a weapon. As something that must be controlled, because on the moment he decides he doesn't want to be around them anymore, he could just straight up kill then without any effort (but getting rid of people in positions of power only gets other people in positions of power and it'll be a neverending story, and Gojo knows this so he's trying to do his best to fix it all through the younger generation, by letting them live). And we also know that Suguru is one of the very few people who did not believe that at all

Like their personalities and characters and stories and literally everything, their names complement each other. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru are such similar names, I get them mixed up all the time (the amount of times I've called them “Gojo Suguru” and “Geto Satoru” is embarassing. Also, “Saturu”. “Goto”. “Gejo”. Ugh). Both of their last names start with a G, end with an O and have 4 letters. Both of their given names start with an S, end with an U and have 6 letters. They complement each other. They need each other

The only times we've seen Gojo with an expression of actual pure, raw emotion is when it's about Geto. When he finds out about what Geto did, when he realizes how thin and wrong Geto looks, when he sees him again for what we assume to be the first time in years, when he dies, when a thing wearing his corpse and using his voice greets him (“Yo, Satoru!” oh my god)

Suguru was able to fight back when in Kenjaku's control after Satoru said his name. Kenjaku himself says that had never happened before

And you don't even have to see them as romantic. You don't have to ship them if you don't want to. But you can't deny that they care about each other more than they will ever care about anyone else

[sewermageboy]

I think one thing that BG3 has really helped me consciously embrace is how shitty and rude and sometimes borderline evil characters can be, and that that doesn't take away my enjoyment of them. I don't need to moralize their actions or opinions, I don't need to ignore them. Astarion is a fucking asshole, he's racist, he's selfish, and yet he's one of my favorite characters of all time, partly because of how complex he is, and how much nuance he was given.

Like, retroactively, now that I'm back on my Dragon Age bullshit, I think I downplayed a lot of the negative aspects of Anders in the past, bc the debate around him is so heated, and there's almost that expectation of "if you like him that means you think he did nothing wrong ever" and "if you think he was wrong/cruel/whatever that means you must hate him."

But no. He's an absolute asshole to Fenris and Merrill, he's downright cruel in some of the comments he makes in party banter. Blowing up the Chantry stoked distrust and hostility towards mages across Thedas, and exacerbated the violence that came during the mage-templar war. And yet, it's understandable why he got to that point, why he felt it was the only thing he could do. He's cruel and obsessive, but he's also kind and selfless and loving, and that makes him so complex and multifaceted!

Anyway, the DA Fandom has this tendency to have everyone justify their enjoyment of a character according to both in-world and out-of-world politics, and BG3 with all its fucked up, flawed and lovable characters really helped me to consciously divorce myself from that.

[wizardsix]

I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.

I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.

it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.

(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)

I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.

the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.

obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[dykesynthezoid]

Literally would rather dieee than be a dropout fan on twitter and some of you are bringing that dumb bullshit here too. You are so mind poisoned by online “activism” it’s insane. “Every brand I know needs to make a performative statement Right Now or I’m going to assume they’re evil.” Do you actually fucking care about Palestinians? Seriously. Look me in the eye. How does this help anyone in Gaza? Why the fuck would the random personal statement of an extremely small, niche American streaming company with a vast majority leftist audience actually help? Hello? HELLOOO? Or are we going to say the quiet part out loud and confirm you only care about “testing” them bc their ceo is Jewish.

Do you think the people in Gaza struggling to survive right now are going “Maybe if this one obscure online streaming service from the states speaks out, then there’ll be a ceasefire.” Like are you for real? Pressuring Dropout into a statement is clearly not for Palestinians. It’s for you. So you can assuage whatever guilt you can’t manage to swallow down about being an American citizen at the moment. Because if you can pressure other people into “performing” activism correctly, maybe you’ll feel a little better about your own privilege. Well it’s shitty. And it’s not helpful. You aren’t changing the world by bullying a small entertainment company on twitter. It’s not about activism. It’s about you taking advantage of a horrifying situation to gleefully inflict any social power and control you can on the people around you.

“Your silence is deafening” I think some of us could stand to shut the fuck up sometimes actually, cause what I’m hearing seems to often be whole lot of bullshit and misinformation and half-baked opinions from people who know almost nothing about Palestine’s situation and can only even pretend to understand it by making completely inappropriate and inaccurate comparisons to events more relevant to your specific American experience, because god forbid we not center our Western perspective when people elsewhere in the world are dying. (That’s without getting into the fact that you all can’t respect Jewish grief to save your goddamn lives and can’t hold space for anyone to have a remotely complex emotion over such a devastating issue bc you’re more concerned with moral purity and making yourself look like a “good activist” than you are about actually helping anyone).

[likegemstone]

I spent several years so afraid that my writing might offend/hurt someone that even thinking about writing would cause intense anxiety and I simply didn't write for years. It even got to the point where I very rarely *read* anything because reading made me want to write, and that triggered anxiety.

When I finally started to write again (bc it's in my fucken DNA and I just. can't not tell stories) I had to tell myself that I was never going to let ANYONE read what I was working on, and I probably wouldn't even ever reread it myself. That was the only way I could get myself to relax enough to tell the story.

Writing/telling stories is how I have always processed and understood the world—all the messy, nuanced, confusing, painful, fucked up parts of the human experience. Stories are the only real way I've ever been able to connect to people in a meaningful way.

And for those years I wasn't writing, I honestly just wasn't processing my emotions, my experiences, my thoughts and opinions. Every confusing or painful or complex feeling or experience I had was utterly overwhelming. I slowly began to isolate myself more and more from everything because it was just too much.

In my attempt to make sure I never ever hurt anyone, I was slowly killing myself.

I have all this anger now. Anger aimed at the situations and relationships in my childhood that made me have such intense reactions to upsetting someone, at the spaces I was in leading up to this isolation that were so clique-y and judgmental and virtue signal-y that made me so convinced that any move I might make would be "problematic," and mostly at Me for letting this happen. For closing myself off and letting the world keep moving and growing while I sat there and just. rotted.

Even now that I'm writing again and even sharing my work, I catch myself sometimes watering Her Broken Magic down, to make it more palatable, less messy. I've done edits to tone down the characters' personalities to make them more "likable." And I'm pissed about that—that I've been made to feel like I have to, but also that I did it at all. HBM certainly still pushes the envelope in many ways, but it would be a much more brutal beast if I wasn't keeping its reins so taut.

It's fucking exhausting spending my life walking on eggshells. It's not sustainable. I will always be sensitive and arguably over-empathetic, I will always try to uphold my morals, be respectful and understanding, and I'll always feel awful any time I hurt someone. But I've had to accept that the only way to completely avoid hurting anyone is to not exist. To never have existed.

But I exist, and I don't want to be ashamed of that anymore.

[the-crow-binary]

Im quite curious about your opinion on the portrayal of the french revolution; I know it was a super complicated political moment with multiple fronts from the commoners wanting better life conditions, the bourgeoisie wanting to get the nobility out of the way (which it's part as to why it cant be directly translated into 21'st century american capitalism analogy 🙄), how multiple nobles supported the revolution for moral values despite going against their families interests (bc social class influences but doesnt instantly determines your morals) and that many revolutionary groups supported the independence of Haití (heck, many members of my countries independence participated and almost got beheaded in the resulting mess. And ad hundred and something years later France would try to invade us lol). What im trying to say behind my ramble here (sorry for that lol) its that im sure nfcv made it a slavery bad black ppl vs white ppl american dilemma without getting into the complexity of it and i say this as a foreigner with basic history knowledge, so i do wanna see your take on it

Which portrayal of the French Revolution? 🙃

I swear this very important Historical event that affected not just France but all of continental Europe and is considered as one of the world's biggest events was just used as background for the characters to fight and be racist. The characters keep throwing around the word "revolution" from all sides, but we don't see shit. Maria gives context in the first episode (there's a revolution, they overthrown the monarchy and declared a republic, they arrested the king...), talking to a group of revolutionaries, and from then on the story could've literally taken place in an imaginary country with imaginary politics it would've been the same.

Oh, what am I saying, there IS one thing. Our motto. 🙃"Liberty, equality, fraternity" 🙃 Yeah it has been thrown here and there... Except that it wasn't our official motto yet. We had the notion of liberty and equality, sometimes fraternity, and it was in the middle of other words such as "friendship", "sincerity", "charity" and "union". There is some people and even some books who used this motto but it was abandoned then taken back later... Just this is a mess lmao but the point is. I cringed everytime the characters screamed "Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!". And while we're on the subject, Richter, at some point, meets three girls during a festival (I suspect one of the girls to be Marianne, who wasn't a real person but the symbol of Liberty) talking about dressing up as Liberty and Equality and Fraternity. And Richter, thinking he is so smart, say that you need to be a man to dress up as Fraternity, because it means "brotherhood" (and the girls go "sisternity then" and don't correct him). Oh, and the writers clearly thought it was very clever too, since later on Annette's teacher (and even the Messiah I think??) will ALSO talk about the motto, saying "liberty, equality, brotherhood". IT DOESN'T MEAN "BROTHERHOOD". I MEAN IT CAN. BUT IN THIS CASE IT MEANS "FRATERNITY". IT'S A TERM TO TALK ABOUT A BOND EXISTING BETWEEN PEOPLE CONSIDERED AS MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN FAMILY. AKA IT CONCERNS EVERYONE. YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, AMERICAN WRITERS.

Also I thought a fucking festival at a time like that where people dress up at the concepts of our not-exactly-official-motto-yet was stupid, and it is. There was no such festival, however, we did have the "cult of the reason". To put it simply: it was a serie of events and civic holidays wich were organized by a group of atheists. In it there WAS an event called "Fete of the Reason"... Where one ACTOR dressed up as Liberty. It was NOT multiple people representing liberty, equality or fraternity.

The fun fact is, the French Revolution was a pretty good occasion for NFCV to promote it's CHURCH BAD mentality. We were taking away the church's power, more people became atheists, anti-christian vandalism and blasphemy was actually encouraged, it was a mess. Paris even ordered to shut down churches at some point, wich did not happen in the end. So yeah, this precise moment, right before the Vendée War, was perfect for the church-haters those writers are. And it ended up just being as bad as the original show, without any nuance... Ok there might be a little bit of nuance because of Mizrak, a guy who served the church and in the end actually team up with Richter and the gang, and it looks like he's there to stay. Emmanuel (the abbott) tries to be complex, but in the end, he is still a God-obsessed man that makes terrible decisions and is not a good representation for the church. So okay, it might be a BIT better than the original show thanks to Mizrak, but it's not saying much.

Another thing. Only the main characters are shown to have a dislike for the church. We don't see ANY of the french people doing anything against the church (but we do hear the church complaining about the revolutionaries, tell don't show y'know), not even talk about it. It's mostly jokes about how haha priests are sexual predators/they can't keep it in their pants (with the occasional "it exploits the people and take their money" line, and by occasionnal I mean once). There IS a few shades thrown at God here and there, honestly I didn't bother remembering the exact lines because they are so cliché and really not that deep. I think Maria is the one complaining the most.

What angers me the most is the lack of ANY ACTION FROM THE FRENCH PEOPLE. It's like nothing is actually happening except vampire killing people and vampire hunting (wich begs the question: WHY bother making it happen during the FRENCH REVOLUTION?). Nocturne literally made the french people the side (oh what am I saying, the BACKGROUND) characters in their OWN REVOLUTION. AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS. WHAT THE FUCK. Maria is supposed to be a revolutionary leader but she doesn't lead anyone. We never see anyone do anything outside of the main characters. The french are literal planks, except from those three girls from the festival and villains, they don't even have a voice. At some point the vampire Messiah arrives in town, in plain view, and people are like "OUR SAVIOR IS HERE! OUR DELIVERER!" and I thought the people shouting were vampires, but no, there is humans TOO. ALL TOGETHER. And you have no idea how much I hate that they basically portray the french people as not doing shit and needing someone else to save them 🙃 To do things for them 🙃 And also. That that someone else is not even french themself. 🙃 Even without the Messiah... the revolutionaries we saw were led by Richter (romanian/american/british idk at this point), Annette (Haitian, even if Saint-Domingue was owned by France at the time), Tera (Russian) and, of course, Maria, who's both Russian and French, at least. Those four were doing most of the work while the french people were in their houses cooking baguettes, I guess. And by "work" I mean fighting vampires and night creatures, there was nothing done about the Revolution. Almost like there is NO REASON TO MAKE A CV SHOW ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION

Oh and I just HAVE to talk to you about Saint-Domingue, and the BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED theme going on with Annette. And that's when I'll have to take out this magnificent dialogue again:

"Even these french with their high ideas, what do they know about we've suffered? And what do they care? They're building new world, but it won't be freedom, or equality or brotherhood for US"

This is said by Annette's teacher. Worth to note that before that, in episode 3, she also shat on the French revolution and our motto. Basically, the show portray the French Revolution as being one thing and the slaves in Saint-Domingue having their own other revolution. And not just that, it implies that the French did not care about slaves, and that they do not know what suffering is (yeah, people just start revolutions because they feel like it y'know 🙃). And the anti-white dialogues are portrayed as normal and are even applauded, btw. And it is BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIT. MY FUCKING GOD. OH THIS SHOW MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

First off: Only the colonies were pro-slavery. The french pretty much weren't. A "Society of friends of black people" was even created in France in 1788 to fight for the abolition of slavery. People fought for black people's rights during the French Revolution. Books written by black people to join the fight came out. The French Revolution scared the colonies who were very against losing their slaves and it led to Haiti's own revolution (slaves rebelling, killing their owners, burning the plantations... Nocturne at least got that part right). So both revolutions are very closely linked and the slaves might not have rebelled at this point if it wasn't for the French Revolution threatening Saint-Domingue's economics and creating social upheavals.

And what does those shitty american writers remember? BLACK PEOPLE OPPRESSED. BLACK PEOPLE SUFFERED SO MUCH MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE. LOOK AT THESE POOR BLACK PEOPLE. WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO POWERFUL. THE FRENCH ARE UNGRATEFUL ACTUALLY. BLACK CHARACTER IS RIGHT TO SHIT ON THE WHITE FRENCH WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM.

FUCK.

Oh, and I mentioned the Vendée War earlier... So, fun fact, during the revolution, we have what we call "la Terreur". It's a pretty gruesome period of time during the Revolution that caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people. La Terreur happened from 1793 to 1794. So one year after this first season of Nocturne. 🙃 I'm just saying. It wouldn't surprise me if they used this for season 2. 🙃(I literally do not trust them)

And the vampires... Look the vampires have their own can of worms that I'm not motivated enough to open. I'll just say that, of course, in classic NFCV fashion, the message the show is trying to pass is not subtle at all. They're just evil. All of them. All of the french nobles. Evil evil EVIL EVIL!! NUANCE AND COMPLEXITY ARE FOR PUSSIES.

Also the count of Vaublanc? Annette's ex-owner? This guy existed. And he never owned slaves. He was pretty pro-royalty, at some point he voted against slavery, then later voted in favor of it... but he did not own slaves. But honestly I don't care about that guy much, I just wanted to show that NFCV really doesn't care about nuance. Everything has to be black or white (lol) and that's why we have no human nobility in Nocturne.

Urgh. UUUUUURGH. I SWEAR WATCHING THIS SHOW WAS A PAIN AND THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE PAINFUL IT BECOMES. THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION AND NFCV IS DOING JACKSHIT WITH IT. I MEAN IT'S SO MUCH FUNNIER TO SHIT ON THE BELMONT CLAN AND SHOW TIDDIES TO MAKE THE FANS HORNY.

So, my opinion on the portrayal of the French Revolution: CREATE YOUR OWN FICTIONAL REVOLUTION NEXT TIME AND LEAVE THE HISTORY OF MY COUNTRY ALONE.

[diamondcitydarlin]

I was in the critical tag just because I'm genuinely curious/fascinated by the way these people are processing the text and I know I've said this before but I'm gonna do it again; like, I get that in a lot of fandoms and subject materials we can easily pick out villains and heroes, the morally-pure (bc their actions are always justified by the narrative regardless) from the morally reprehensible and we can conclude from these themes that the villains/morally-bankrupt ones deserve nothing while the 'good ones' (arguable, in a lot of cases, but they're usually conventionally hot and/or digestible so they can't really be bad lmao) deserve everything and while that is to be debated in other places, OFMD esp in this latest season is showing itself to not be one of those narratives. OFMD is a story where flawed, sympathetic people do fucked up things, act rashly, hurt each other, destroy things, etc, and then we watch them have to work their way back from that. I know we have had some one-off villains that don't qualify for this, but for everyone within the main cast that seems to be the concept. If you're trying to figure out why one member of the main cast is just too icky to be entitled to the acceptance of the rest you're already missing the entire point. If you're also trying to figure out why your fave is too precious to be held accountable for the things they chose to do, you're missing the entire point. If you think just one character is having a redemption arc here, YOU'RE MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT (they ALL are actually). And more to the point, if you're looking for any of this to actually happen in this particular story then I think you're watching the wrong show. I really, really do. And I'm also going to go so far as to say I think a lot of people are intentionally misreading these themes, projecting their own hopes on to it, saying Izzy's story 'doesn't feel good' or 'doesn't make sense' because the idea that people can be flawed, make mistakes, hurt each other and still be deserving of love and acceptance throws too much of a curveball at their already very limited world view, one in which there are only 'good guys' and 'bad guys', one in which they are indisputably 'good guys' themselves who have never done anything bad ever (even though you definitely have, we ALL have, YOU HAVE HURT PEOPLE, I HAVE HURT PEOPLE, GROW UP AND REALIZE YOU CAN'T LIVE AN ENTIRE LIFE WITHOUT DOING IT AT SOME POINT).

This is a story of acceptance and forgiveness and the moral greyness in us all, not exclusion and punishment, not the hopelessly simplistic idea that the world is just made up of good people who should never be questioned and always get good things and bad people who have no more nuance than just being bad and getting punished for it. Like, can we please try to wrap our minds around more complex themes than that maybe? Can it possibly be true that Izzy and Ed (the two most often compared) are both deserving of love, acceptance and forgiveness? Can it possibly be true that there's more to these characters than just good vs evil? Must we deny these characters the nuance and complexity that's been given to them just because 'it doesn't feel good'? Like idk babe maybe sometimes stories aren't meant to make you 'feel good' all the time, maybe sometimes they're meant to take you out of your comfort zone and examine your own worldview once and awhile IDK IT'S A FUCKING THOUGHT

[cerseiwexler]

For whichever of your babies you feel like infodumping about most -- [4] How physically and emotionally affectionate they are? [13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any? [29] How do they deal with loss, stress and anger? [33] What are one of their fondest and most treasured memories?

HMM let’s do myrei!!!

4. extremely… i just talked abt this in the tags of another post a bit sry for being repetitive but she’s pathologically unable to be normal about someone lol. if she’s a hater the hate runs through to her core, but if she loves someone she’ll lavish them in affection and attention to whatever degree they can tolerate (and sometimes even more). she’s a big hugger, a big cuddler, a big forehead smoocher. HOWEVER. the mushy stuff is mostly in private. in some cases that’s bc it has to be lol ~*forbidden love*~ but in other cases her affection for her family, friends, and lovers just manifests in a different way — ironclad loyalty, backing her loved ones up unconditionally. which is important for morale once they have to go to war lol

13. she loves to laugh! her sense of humor is somewhat dry in a lannister-typical way, and a little bawdy. having so many kids also gives her an appreciation for the deeply silly things they can do and say when they’re young and still figuring out the world lol.

29. not well!!! loss utterly devastates her, she gets physical pains from the emptiness left behind and sort of oscillates between being overcome with emotion and numb. and sometimes really pissed off at this turn of fate. it makes her short-sighted. stress she tries to tamp down by overcompensating w/ an aggressive version of optimism, like (grits teeth) i am gonna be fucking happy if it’s the last thing i do. it doesn’t always work so well and often stresses her out even more when the happiness doesn’t come so easily. and anger makes her violent 💀 rarely does she act on it but she has a sick mind about her enemies. some of them deserve it! some of them don’t. when she does act on it, it tends to be in a less spectacular way than she fantasizes about.

33. she treasures a lot of childhood memories from before joanna died — they all have this warm golden haze over them. definitely a bit of rose-colored nostalgia glasses going on there, but it was a more peaceful time than she comes to be used to in life, and it was before she developed all her complexes (she only developed some of them lol). an easy to idealize time, yk.

[crispy-kitten-princess]

Ohhh yesss i love how the magic elements are ONE. It makes so much sense like it's the nature and so on. I love how fire saves your life and soul if you put too much effort in bending water, earth helps you from being devoured by air, and reversed. Like, they're paired and helping you! Hehe nice. And there is CHAOS. Oh i love chaos. Everything and nothing. The arteries of the world (really cool addition to the nature of chaos magic even if it was made in the g*lden t*wer). All together they make balance in nature frfr. Fuck, now I'm scared by Call's potential as a full-grown Makar, like he saw all this in age 16, what would he be able to do in his 30-s??? Creepy. Lol

Relationship between Call and Alastair is bittersweet. I can't believe they made such a long way in the 2 book and in the same time it felt so natural and smooth, even though Call thought that his father is not his father and that he tried to get rid of Call and so on. But then he finally heard that Alastair loves him bc Call's his son!!! And he's a good kind boy!!! And Joseph go fuck yourself you bastard keep away from my little boy baby you will never ever get him like you got Constantine. So sweet i died (also i remembered that Call's father was not just Constantine's classmate, but his closest friend, sad that it wasn't actually developed more deeply. AND ALSO I REMEMBER THE QUOTE THAT GOES LIKE "ME, CONST, SARAH AND JERICHO WERE VERY CLOSE" AND I WAS LIKE "WTH WHAT ABOUT FUCKING DECLAN A U SERIOUS ARE YOU REAL FOR THAT BRUUUUUUUH well ok whatever")

Now (and sometimes throughout the series) Alastair's behaviour makes me think: what actually made Call so vulnerable to other's opinions? Why is his self-esteem lies in the depth of a Mariana Trench? What could Alastair said and did to achieve that and why did this happen, did he really knew whom his soul was? Did Alastair hate his son suspecting him? Was he just cold, but enough to traumatize the little boy? All this additionally to his canon depressive state and loneliness which couldn't not affect the child! Interesting. Not a minus to the books, some details should be left to our interpretation

Writing the OP, I forgot about this essential detail - Call's guilt. Like it's the main theme in the 2 book but i somehow forgot it. I love the depiction of his guilt, he's so agonized and torn apart by it, his pain started in the ending of the 1 book and followed him- forever ig? Bro, so relatable. I can make parallels to my anxiety disorder and constant guilt that i feel from literally just being alive. This detail makes him my comfort character. The one more reason to adore him. And i think im not the only one

Oh goddess. Aaron Stewart. I feel so bad for him. Rn I'm reading the Bronze Key, the episode when all students at school started suspecting him. He suffers so much bc of it bc he has sorta saviour complex and obviously is trying his best to be loved by everyone, to ensure his place in society (i see it as he tried to be loved in every family to stay w them as long as possible, but rarely succeeded. How could they be so blind??? So he trained himself to be loveable. Omfg). And then all of a sudden he loses it all. His hard work, his place, his insurance... Ironically it all started his downfall to death. Yeah and then people say that social anxiety is irrational! Lol

Bittersweet that he was reborn in the Alex's body. Idk, i don't like that trope bc it has only pleasure and absolutely no moral. You can reincarnate your loved ones!! You don't have to learn and overcome your grief, cause you can have them back alive no consequences!! Yappie!! I love Aaron and it's nice to have him back but it's meaningless. Only meaning i see is that he lived in Call's head and taught him to be more eeeh social ig. It was really fun to read. Also it could be a thought like "don't give up on your friends" but I can't really see it. Cause he died

I 100 percent agree w your thoughts on Tamara. But on the other hand, i feel bad for her character. It's not something special for her, it's a common problem amongst female protagonists in the group of three (two men and one woman). Two men always get the most of it. Literally, Call and Aaron are makars, they're super special in this world and in the plot. And Tamara is just.. a great firebender, and smart and sarcastic. She's cool and strong, but not on their level(( They are ANOTHER. Something similar happened in Naruto, where Naruto was mega giga cool, Sasuke ultra gigachad from a superfamily, and Sakura is said to be weak... She's a love interest and a healer. Another level. Can't imagine a plot, where Tamara was in Aaron's place, being the second Makar and "Call's mortal enemy and best friend whom he pulled out from death betraying all his principles and morals" hm i understand why ppl ship calron and not calmara. Well the point is that she (or Sakura, for instance) is not playing the same level role as Aaron or Call, and i call this misogyny

Ohhh yeaaaah i love this sentence "Constantine literally haunts the narrative" that's so true. Even much bc our main character's soul is said to be Constantine's. This is so real

Master Joseph is an interesting villain fr. He's just fucking crazy lol.... But he acts more or less normally, i like the details that he enjoys cooking, he is often calm and so on, like it gives more depth to him and he is not just mindless creepy crazy killer

I love bringing analysis bc it helps me structure my thoughts about the series or movies, and they don't rot alive in my brain to be forgotten forever. I love having more reasons for reading than just "consuming" the "content". This is art

If i ever were able to list all the things i dislike in Magisterium series, this post would've been endless. Instead, I'd mention smth i love so much that it makes me re-read the series for the fifth time and gives me inspiration for new drawings and playlists

The first one is aesthetic. I don't think I've ever read a YA book with the death and necromancy as the main lore theme. Also, the first book in series is so sweet and innocent compared to the fourth I can't believe it lol. Corpses. So gothic. So edgy. Love it

The second is very similar to the first - chaos magic. We come across elemental magic in all sorts of media, but they don't usually have the 5th element, or if they have it's more likely to be electricity or smth. Not ACTUAL NECROMANCY omfg... I love it. Also Makars being able to manipulate not only chaos (the void itself) but the soul.... Cute

So next. The main character ofc. Callum Hunt. What can I say he is such a cinnamon roll hating himself for what he is not. Screaming, crying, throwing up. I can feel his pain with every fiber of my soul he's so relatable. He is a type of chaotic neutral main character which is rare I guess, and at the same time he doesn't act like a total jerk and piece of shit. Can't name some other like him, idk. He's sweet but also edgy. His self-confidence is below the surface of the earth. He's just like me frfr my poor little meow meow. Also he is disabled and it influences the events of the book. Sometimes. Cool, representative. Not a disabled person myself but can appreciate it

Another reason for me to love the series is the changing of Call's secrets idk how to call this. The structure of his character lore. His secrets and abilities, they're layered.. you know... And every book one by one uncovers these layers: 1 - he uncovers that he is the reincarnation of Constantine. 2 - he gets his powers (which made Constantine evil at the first place). 3 - he learns more about Constantine's family, and the whole world finds out that he "is" the Enemy of Death. 4 - omg how much he uncovers here lol i can't. May be my favourite book thanks to its maaad vibe. Everything he learns here makes him closer and closer to Constantine. 5 - i know that most of the fandom thinks it was stupid to make Constantine himself a reincarnated thousand-years-old evil Makar. And i may agree. But in the moment of reading this it was so impactful for me idk why.... I literally cried idk!!! Lol. Love the moment where Call opens his memory to help his friends to fight wolves or smth, and PASSES OUT. KING. So, the other secret is uncovered here. Everything he learns makes him understand Constantine's/Maugris's motives, but he never ever becomes anything like them nor wishes to follow their path. Pretty symbolic and meaningful

Upd. SOME MOMENTS ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS

So what can I say? Every series has it's weak and strong points. Some of them become classic literature, some are forgotten in the abyss of YA books. I understand why Magisterium's place is with the second type of series, and it's not even saddens me anymore (we're so underground teehee). But i see many posts where the series is shitted over, and not much of posts appreciating the things that we actually love in it. Aren't they the reason you started and finished it sometime? So I'm here spreading positivity! And also because I'm so tired of being a fan of this shit so i tried to acknowledge all that i love, and why am i here in the first place

I think it's all for now, maybe I'll come with more ideas later

Fandom are you alive? Heh am I a Call kinnie to the point that i become necromancer?...

P.S. sometimes i think I'm so cringe to be periodically obsessed with this STUPID POOR-WRITTEN CHILDISH BOOK ABANDONED EVEN BY IT'S OWN CREATORS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT...... AND THE WORST THING IS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN READ IT IN MY EARLY TEENS (except the 1 which i read when i was around 13. Read it twice in one week so maybe that's the moment my brain was damaged) I READ IT WHEN I WAS 16 ALREADY aaarrrhh I'm so cringe. Why obsession why why why why why why i hate this but this is literally the only book which makes me cry and scream and feel every fucking time i re-read it even when i know EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING reading it all again for the 6th time FOR GODDESS SAKE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

[bloody-wonder]

Hi! I might be wrong about this so I'm sorry if I am but I think I remember a while ago on an ask about captive prince, I think you said something along the lines of the development of the main characters growing to love each other felt rushed? Or unrealistic or there was unsolved issues or something? Anyway, u said after that that u would rlly wanna read an enemies to lovers story where the ppl in the ship have done rlly horrible things to each other but yet the relationship can develop and it can be healthy and feel realistic. (I'm paraphrasing here sorry) ANYWAY, the real question I have is- is there a limit to the horrible things they could do? Like, is there a point where u think no matter how good the writing there is just no way of coming back from that and it being okay?

i don’t know?

i can’t say for sure until i read it bc that’s exactly the point - i want the author to convince me that this relationship could work. and i think many fictional relationships where people have hurt each other previously could work bc people change and forgiveness exists - but i believe in order for that to feel plausible and authentic the author should not rely on any romance tropes at all. bc many of those are problematic in itself and when you apply them to an “unconventional” relationship it only makes it worse.

which i believe is exactly the problem with capri - it’s a very compelling relationship story that’s trapped within the confines of the romance genre. and it’s a problem idk how to fix bc it being an enemies to lovers romance and relying on so many familiar tropes is exactly why so many people like it. you read it and you want laurent and damen to resolve their issues and get together, plausibility be damned, bc that’s what the story structure wants you to want in order to satisfy your expectations in the end. except i didn’t really feel satisfied and for a long time i thought that was bc cs pacat failed to convince me with how their relationship progressed in the second half of book three (bc it does feel very gradual and organic until everything makes a u-turn when jokaste appears). but recently i’ve realized that it’s only partly her fault bc she was just writing a romance and a romance has to have a happy ending with heroes ending up together unambiguously - otherwise it’s just another kind of story with a romance subplot. so in the end, unless you are willing to suspend your disbelief entirely, the way laurent and damen end up together with all their conflicts seemingly resolved, all their trauma “healed by Love” doesn’t feel authentic at all - especially in damen’s case.

that being said, when i look back on all the “problematic” ships i’ve ever liked i can see that with most of them i just had this vague desire for the characters to get together but i never thought about how their relationship would work after that and certainly not about whether it would be “healthy”. this is just not something i’m interested in in fiction. i wish everyone a nice boring healthy (whatever that means) relationship irl but as for fiction i like drama. (andreil is once again very much an exception bc nora is an aroace genius who said “fuck romance tropes”). i like insurmountable conflicts and intense, sometimes even toxic relationships. i like characters hurting each other, trying to forgive and failing and trying once again. i like forgiveness as a theme in general bc that’s something i struggle with irl and so i’m interested in deconstructing the christian dogma of forgiveness being the answer to everything and in exploring whether some realtionships could work without the characters forgiving each other. i like when love and hatred are presented as two sides of the same coin and when the character has an existential crisis about having fallen in love with the only wrong person. 

usually î want to experience this fictional Drama much more than i want the reassurance that the characters will have a healthy loving relationship in post-canon bc they are fictional, they are here to entertain me and that’s what i happen to find entertaining. when i ship characters that have hurt each other very badly i’m not necessarily looking for whatever scenario would be the “healthiest” - i’m looking for the one that would satisfy me personally the most.

[theghostofashton]

.

[dreadfutures]

(edit: while I am sometimes critical of Bioware please do not tag this post with Bioware critical or negativity related to Bioware, it frustrates me to see it in my notifications! I do think a set up like this is entirely within the realm of possibility given the previous and current writing teams. and I wrote this post specifically because I think it's a logical way for them to resolve it as game developers. Be kind or shut up.)

i’m imagining that solas and our pc will be chasing after a mcguffin and have to face down mythal or someone who also wants the mcguffin

have to team up with solas for that fight

at the end of the fight solas has been watching our PC’s choices through the game or whatever and silently approving/disapproving

and either he reaches the mcguffin first or lets you have it depending on if he thinks you’re worthy

and cedes the choice about the future to you.

that feels sufficiently complex about his character, empathy, morally ambiguous and shitty for the PC, like a good game choice. But also leaves the game with a neat way to funnel you into one of two different world states in the aftermath.

like maybe he looks at all the blood on his hands and decides he’s crossed the moral event horizon and you’re a paragon, you’re a no one and you’ve done so much good bc it’s what matters, and he thinks that no, the Inquisitor was right... he doesn’t deserve to make the choice for the world.

and you get to make the choice between the fate of the world.

or maybe he looks at your jackass PC and goes, “this vindicates me, I’m doing it myself” -- unless your Inquisitor had high approval with him, in which case, maybe he stays his hand but condescends your PC and says it’s for the Inquisitor instead

or maybe he looks at your jackass PC after your jackass Inquisitor and says fuck it. let it all burn.

and even in the best case scenario, where Solas decides it’s not his choice, or even that it’s no one’s choice, maybe, that burden still falls on your poor PC and why is it up to them? whichever way you choose a world dies, just like In Hushed Whispers. you and your PC would still have to live with that.

[cavewretch]

ok fine. essay. conclusion of my study on minecraft roleplay

minecraft roleplay is a fucking bananas phenomenon. this is all in response to qsmp bc that is my only (and final) interaction with a roleplay server ever. (note: i have some of these criticisms about other forms of live entertainment too, theater is absolutely not to be held on a pedestal here. that shit can often be a mess to be involved in too) (why do you think entertainment industry unions exist)

so. essentially we are adults playing dolls. we are playing a ttrpg but instead of dice and a table top we are co-opting the environment of a 2011 open world pc game that could be described as Colonialism Without Consequences Simulator Version 3.7.2 or whatever. take this sandbox: block people put into a survival situation, where we farm and build and kill monsters and steal from/kill native villagers and sometimes eat zombie flesh. ghosts exist and they're killable. there's other realms of reality. magic is real. a dragon is there. etc etc.

now: enter in Players and Admins and Lore. most of which want to create complex storylines that are emotionally and politically charged. according to the sandbox- we can die and it doesn't matter, because we respawn. but sometimes dying is a damning plot point. sometimes we decide death is emotionally devastating. sometimes we decide death is funny. sometimes we decide death is what it is in this sandbox - a game function that doesn't really have consequences beyond losing your items/wherever you were exploring. you are never going to know which meaning death will take until the moment you are seeing it happen live, or even sometimes the following day when the people running all this tweet that wasn't canon. all the characters have the same names as the performers who play them. there aren't clear times when we are In Character and when we are just playing a video game with friends. the World Rules are so incredibly blurry it's impossible to make sense of both as a performer and an audience member. you can't get me to feel the weight of pomme's death when she has two lives. you can't get me to feel like cellbit is extremely fucked up for killing and eating people bc they literally kill each other all the time in this world and eat zombie flesh when the hunger bar is low. you can't get me to feel like max blowing up the whole island with a bomb is world-ending bc the only way someone's character canonically is Dead Forever is if the creator decides they're dead forever.

throw in that a lot of those Players have never met before, speak different languages, and come from different cultural contexts. and all of this is improv-based performance. and from what i can gather there are no discussions about intention or accountability or personal boundaries or content warnings before any of the story points are acted out Live in Real Time in front of Thousands of People.

to me, collaborative performance NEEDS to involve discussions amongst creators about boundaries etc BEFORE performing. and that can happen even when the actual storytelling is improv-based. honestly it should especially happen if it's improv-based. in a roleplay scenario you all have to play in the space together. you have to feel safe with each other. it's no fun if you bulldoze over each other's work, or render a long arc actually meaningless. that's a lot of exhausting emotional work gone to waste. you can play asshole characters and villains and moral gray areas while still being fun to play with. (also, since this server involves people from different countries, linguistic imperialism & racism are also tossed into the blender. a white american man repeatedly disrespecting a mexican man has weight, and if it isn't addressed it's felt)

on top of all this throw in the internet culture of parasocialism, however you interact w and interpret that term, and how twitch works, and how content creators are, and the "it's not that serious" line of thought. any criticism the creators see is dismissed as hate, as crazy viewers being too attached, as needing to "touch grass." discourse amongst fans is vile and reactive by design, bc no one knows where the distinguishing lines are and no one can find them because they keep moving.

"it's not that deep it's a block game" you are telling a story involving child death, murder, trauma, questioning reality, political systems, oppressive governments, surveillance, etc etc etc, and you are telling it to a lot of teenagers. you HAVE to be very in-tune with each other and intentional with your performances to do that if you want to not create an absolutely volatile environment for everyone involved.

getting more specific: as a roier watcher i'm especially frustrated bc he is so aware and attuned to everyone else that he often has to let go of his own ideas for his character. he's always alone and dragged into lore. cellbit keeps making these massive plot moves with big plans and consequences without talking to who is essentially his scene partner for all of it. roier can act. i think they can discuss "hey my character is going to do this (vague idea of big plot move)" beforehand and he would still react appropriately. and to be perfectly clear: i enjoy tragedies. i eat that shit up. roier being final girl again could be so fun and devastating. but roier in the discord call after they all got kicked yelling "Y YO QUE?????" broke me man. they could've still done that same plot move without it feeling like roier as a person got the rug torn out from under him. i feel for etoiles too, bc he's not used to rp and the server doesn't pay attention to his time zone so he's doing a lot of emotionally exhausting work sleep deprived and out of his element. in my brain it's unfair to them as performers and friends to just be thrown around like this. how they each personally feel about it is their business, but in a workers rights way it feels unfair lmao

anyway yeah. incredibly irresponsible format. it was fun to study under a microscope for awhile but i inevitably got emotionally involved (it is designed for you to get emotionally involved) so i'm abandoning it lmfao. it's sad bc there's a lot of really good and exciting ideas and moments in there! i had a lot of fun! i even learned some spanish and portuguese!generally streamers are still streamers though. more concerned with expansion and views than impactful storytelling, and that shoots them in the foot repeatedly. i hope every person involved in minecraft roleplay either gets out of it or is a little kinder to themselves about having emotional reactions and exhaustion cuz that shit is an absolute mess that will inevitably get to you. ok now im done criticizing gamers for at least a week bye

those guys who make minecraft roleplay servers would’ve been good 1970s psychiatrists

[starvels]

Thoughts on the blindspot that Steve can get, where he has a hard time seeing that Tony is having a hard time. And if it’s because of wishful thinking, stubborn refusal to accept the reason Tony isn’t doing well, situational blindness, or a flat out denial, does them getting together actually fix it? Or is Steve’s willingness to take Tony at his word and Tony’s tendency to downplay any troubles he’s having continue the habit?

mm this is some good thinky thoughting, my nonny nectarine. here are my thoughts, coming from the background of: i know and love someone i would say is quite like how i characterize steve - in anger and in belief in other folks and in tenacity to a moral stance or cause.

steve is complex and thinks he's not.

so as a short answer to your question, it's a mix of a lot of things, i think, yeah! most of the things you listed! his brain works very fast and his emotions come to him a month and a half too late. (tony's brain and emotions work at the same speed. chaos, my poor meow meow, etc), so there's always steve being like, you're my partner, we're in this together, look how good we are doing in the team, in small moments, etc. he's headstrong and narrowly focused when on a mission, professional or otherwise.

not to quote myself but, he doesn't recognize how wildly he swings to balance his own beliefs.

i don't know that canonically we are still at 'steve's willingness to take tony at his word,' because i think there's been a lot of doubting it and like all relationships, the amount you're willing to take someone's word really does depend on their consistency and reliability in the most pertinent past.

but steve does accept generally take tony's word and tony does generally downplay his troubles.

why?

bc i think sometimes it genuinely doesn't occur to steve that tony is doing unwell lol. i think steve wants to believe in the best in tony, even when he doesn't, he wants to. he's very unbiased about this guy, has too many pent up thoughts and lifetimes of history and that colors his ability to objectively be like is it logical that tony is doing good rn?

and tony puts up a good front and steve's hypocritical enough to be like?? 'why would you put up a front if you feel bad, just be honest.' and when tony is like 'i don't know' it means, last time i tried to tell you i wasn't doing well it came out all garbled because i wanted to choke the words out of my own throat for having the weakness to try and speak them and also you didn't want to hear it, you think the world should have the knees you do - to get up and get up and get up but not everyone has knees and not everyone lives on stable ground.

so i think tony says that he's doing okay, NOT in a lying sense (it's not really lying to him! i could write an essay on this) but in a HOPEFUL sense. in a - if steve believes in me and believes me here maybe i can channel that belief and i can then make that a reality, i can be that, be okay, i'm good at turning dreams into circuit boards, i'm good at routing my energy, right, right?

and steve actually believes him on almost the same level - i want to believe him, i want him to do well, the world is such a better place for the goodness of tony stark, my world is such a better place, he's strong i know he is, he knows i hate lying, he likes being believed in by me, i should believe him, i know him, he's surely doing well, right, right?

which is literally the same coin.

(sidenote for steve also has a lot of fucked up internalizations about ableism and labor capacity and work ethic and mental health and PTSD. he's often projecting because it's his ~defense mechanism)

but yeah, real eyes realize real lies ! steve and tony's problems aren't as a result of them being too dissimilar, it's as a result of them being too similar!

this would not change with them being in a relationship together, because being in a romantic relationship only strengthens the ways in which you want your partner to be well, to succeed and to be honest with you in the doing of it. but i do think if they were entering the relationship genuinely looking for it to last it would become evident quickly that they can't do that without working on their similar, burning instinct to give each other what want. and they would genuinely have to face the ways in which that instinct leads to their own individual and their combined detriment.

i wrote a line about it in are we satellites? that i always always think about:

Their problems have always been here, not in the ocean breaks where their lives and loves and morals meet up, but in the shore tide where tiny difference in their density intensities build them to choking foam.

the ocean is the ocean, even at different densities, but when the ocean meets the earth, how it behaves is entirely different - particle to particle, even as it stays strong and salty.

[night-dark-woods]

YESSS another person out there who reads Mara Sov as autistic!

YES YES YES hope its ok i answer this publically if not not ill delete it as an ask and just post it BUT she is sooooo very much autistic to me like. i love her sooooo much and thats a huge huge part of it ESPECIALLY bc she gets to be SO delightfully complex and morally gray and a deeply sympathetic character who still is a bit of a horrible person sometimes which just ISNT something we GET a lot as autistic ppl like. augh!!! mara sov was constructed in a lab for me to care about.

anyway im not citing stuff bc im on mobile and copypasting to the tumblr app is Hell but i have fully read the marasenna like 4 times in the last 2 months so this is going to be rambly as all hell but:

-talk about fucking black and white morality. going back to earth is the Right Thing To Do and she will absolutely condemn* her entire colony ship to mortality for that.

-her conviction that she knows secrets and things no one else knows, that she is always in control in a way others arent, and her Need for that to be true, and her sense of herself as separate/better/other/above the rest and having a connection to a deeper knowledge. i feel like theory of mind gets tossed around as a dsm checkbox without people like. fully understanding the nuances of it.

-relatedly her... mercenary? approach to the social interactions and relationships she has (and her utter panic and confusion when she cannot use her models that she has, eg sjur). like she may not be able to Feel what other people feel but she can certainly pattern-match and manipulate.

-her absolutely oversized eldest daughter & gifted kid syndrome taken to absolutely absurd extremes (thanks osana and alis li!) bc of what authority figures told her to be true about herself at 19. (one of the times she had to dramatically readjust her model of How Social Interactions Work- the concept that how she is perceived is Her Responsibility which she immediately internalizes as Law). ALSO osana saying that mara never wanted to be her daughter like. ok we get it ur kid is strange and acts "older than her age" and is more self-possessed than a child her age should be except when shes not.

-god just. honestly everything about how shes written. idr if u have read seth dickinson's published books (the traitor baru cormorant) but baru from those books is SO SO SO similar like. ruthless in that the ends justify absolutely any means, self-centered, brilliant with a massive blindspot where it comes to emotions, manipulative bc she relies on a carefully constructed understanding of how social interactions work, most importantly disastrously world-shatteringly gay.

also i feel like part of it is that a lot of the traits and things that make me read mara as autistic are like... internal experience traits that arent easily recognizable by allistic ppl bc they dont Have a recognizably autistic-specific external manifestation and instead come off as like. being a bitch or selfish or stuck up or cold or Whatever. but are like immediately viscerally recognizable if u experience things the same way.

maybe at some point ill make an Actual Post abt mara sov, the travelers most autistic creature. but so much of it is Unexplainable Vibes. if u kno u kno. also thank u for sending this ask and giving me a chance to talk abt mara i love her SO much.

*i dont believe immortality is inherently good, so i dont think it was condemning is like, the right word, but in context of how characters see it.