#but i will ALSO say i know they did a bonus episode on this movie and i promise i have not listened to it!

[dearlittlefandom-stalker]

*claps hands together* OKAY MY PEEPS!

Time to mark off the list! If my count is correct, I believe we got 15 out of the predicted 35. Some of these are questionable, though, so give or take a few fictional points.

1. Whataburger opens in Kentucky

2. Animators Strike

3. AI gets Sued (9-10-24 Peter Cushing's -he played Tarkin in Star Wars- friend, Kevin Francis sued Disney for their use of ai-generated likeness to Peter Cushing without his permission

4. Sasquatch Movie is made

5. Joe Biden Health Scare (he tested positive for covid on 7-17-24 and dropped out of the race on 7-21-24)

6. Something else is named ‘X’ — (1-17-24 My Mom tells us that they are calling another strain of covid “X”. My brother says “Elon, what did you do?” and I start laughing because that’s the first thing on the bingo to come true. Hah)

7. Cornbread becomes a Meme

8. America gets involved in another war we have no business in (we never declared war but our hand is in every pot if you know what I mean)

9. A Major Meteor Event — (5-10-24 MAJOR ELECTROMAGNETIC SOLAR STORM - I GOT TO SEE NORTHERN LIGHTS!! Below is a pic I took)

10. Bon Jovi hits mainstream again (either he releases a new song or an older song gets used in something or memed and becomes big again) — (Legendary by Bon Jovi. Recorded on 5-4-24 but the official music video was released to Youtube on 2-14-24)

11. ACME Vs Coyote gets Theatrical Release

12. Din Djarin comes back from the war (The Mandalorian season 4 comes out)

13. Ahsoka series gets a season 2

14. There’s a recall on canned soup

15. Duolingo does a ridiculously funny PR prank/stunt/marketing scheme AND IT WORKS (2-11-24 Super Bowl Ad) (but then they admitted to using AI so they shot themselves in the foot there)

16. Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper becomes a meme

17. On that note, a new Barbie movie is announced/made

18. Big ~Presidential Race Debate Scandal~ - The Vice President runs a presidential campaign off the tailcoats of the current President.

19. Another Life Series (season 6!) — (Real Life! April Fools joke on 4-1-24)-- (Bonus points if season 7 also begins!) -WILD LIFE, BABY!!

20. Hermitcraft Season 10 begins (2-3-24, first episodes are released)

21. A world leader gets ousted/exposed and flees or is killed (Two attempts on Trump and one on Harris so far)

22. Owl City releases a new song

23. Skillet releases a new album (bonus points if they have a crossover hit) REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!

24. A 1920s-based or inspired movie

25. “Dice” becomes slang

26. Another poorly covered up government-caused catastrophe takes place - Hurricane Helene in late September 2024. https://youtu.be/ag-hb45J6MQ

27. A church service or livestream lasts for more than three days and sparks revival

28. Tanera Double Chocolate (Everybody’s So Creative!) will make a video showing people how to actually cook

29. Something happens to delay or pause the Summer Olympics schedule

30. At least two artists will release a movie in theaters of their live concerts (For King and Country released a concert in theaters in the U.S. and BTS released a concert in theaters outside of the U.S.)

31. New averse side affects of vaping are revealed

32. Some obscure holiday gets memed

33. The World Map changes (a country that exists now is dismantled or a new country is made)

34. Spanish-American war becomes relevant somehow

35. Something Weird is going to happen on February 29th — MY PHONE DIED on February 27th and was still dead on the 29th. Nothing else weird happened that I know of.

2024 Predictions By Me—

Whataburger opens in more states

Animators Strike

AI gets Sued

A Sasquatch movie is made

Joe Biden has a Health Scare

Something else is named ‘X’ 

Cornbread becomes a Meme

America gets involved in another war we have no business in

A Major Meteor Event

Bon Jovi hits mainstream again (either he releases a new song or an older song gets used in something or memed and becomes big again)

ACME Vs Coyote gets a theatrical release

Din Djarin comes back from the war (The Mandalorian season 4 comes out)

Ahsoka series gets a season 2

There’s a recall on canned soup

Duolingo does a ridiculously funny PR prank/stunt/marketing scheme AND IT WORKS

Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper becomes a meme

On that note, a new Barbie movie is announced/made

Big ~Presidential Race Debate Scandal~

Another Life Series (season 6!) (Bonus points if season 7 also begins!)

Also Hermitcraft Season 10 begins (Bonus if multiple Hermits base together)

A  world leader gets ousted/exposed and flees or is killed

Owl City releases a new song

Skillet releases a new album (bonus points if they have a crossover hit)

A 1920s-based or inspired movie is made

“Dice” becomes a slang term

Another poorly covered up government-caused catastrophe takes place 

A church service or livestream lasts for more than three days and sparks a revival

Tanera Double Chocolate (Everybody’s So Creative!) will make a video showing people how to actually cook

Something happens to before or during the Summer Olympics schedule that causes a delay or pause

At least two artists will release a movie in theaters of their live concerts (a la Taylor Swift and Beyonce)

New averse side affects of vaping are revealed

Some obscure holiday gets memed

The World Map changes (a country that exists now is dismantled or a new country is formed)

The Spanish-American war becomes relevant somehow

Something Weird is going to happen on February 29th 

[all-souls-matinee]

Quick-bite reviews: The Night Flier (1997) dir. Mark Pavia

Asshole, alcoholic, good-at-his-job tabloid reporter Richard Dees (Miguel Ferrer) is tasked with investigating a serial killer who flies a matte black Cessna and drains the blood of his victims. Dees' boss is eager to market the guy as a vampire, but Dees doesn't believe in the stories he covers. He just gets them at any cost.

This is a 90s HBO movie based on a Stephen King short story of the same name, and it feels it. Too drawn out for its goofy premise, with pacing calculated around the audience getting up for snacks approximately nine different times, many old Mainers telling stories within a story, and many more groaner lines of dialogue that must've come straight from King. The climatic 'battle' is the worst part of the film rather than the most exciting, and production decisions are consistently bad and weird. I'm front-loading the negatives here to say I understand why this is not a well-regarded movie, but I think it's one of the greatest vampire movies ever made.

I love that the titular Night Flier isn't just a 90s TV vampire, this is a dracula that adheres to all of the most interesting dracula rules And Then Some (I screamed in delighted disgust at least twice.) If you can avoid being spoiled* on the big reveal his vampire form owns, and I think the dog scene is genuinely frightening; hints at things to come in a surprising way for a very unsubtle movie. The plot is all about 'vampire vs Dees,' so 'bright-eyed rookie coworker vs Dees' feels a little half-baked and tacked on, but I like their characters and I really like what it ultimately does for the story. The scenes that bookend the climax with Night Flier and Coworker respectively? Flawless. The thing I liked most about this movie was, surprisingly, the way it looks. I think it's really well-shot and there's a lot of interesting stuff going on with bodies and environments. Americans kind of stopped shooting TV in the style of The X-Files or Sex and the City because that look is more melodramatic than 'real,' but here it works in favor of the plot, and coupled with film language starts to feel like more than the sum of its parts. The flashbacks pull off a format that was never intended for film with good framing, editing, and acting alone (special shoutout to John Bennes, a character actor who seemingly only ever played weird old men he KILLS IT as the first guy Dees interviews), and Dees' state of mind is always clear even when the movie isn't. I suspect part of the reason The Night Flier flopped is because it has an insane tone problem, torn between 'extremely lonesome and gruesome' and 'silly,' but it looks great doing it.

Buy a ticket? Night flyyy with me let's night flyyy night flyyy away~

[spinji]

I NEED TO YAP ABOUT THIS MOVIE MY GOD-

YOU'RE NEXT SPOILERS UNDER CUT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaokayokay-

Can I just say I DO NOT recommend seeing this the same day as watching the new episode because I have had a DAY-

Unfortunately, the theater I went to didn't have the booklets or promotional cups but not a huge loss. It's the price I pay to have my boyfriend by my side; worth it. ♡

As with all my other MHA theater outings the screening was packed with delightful weirdos (dubbed, if you happen to care). One guy had an extensive set of custom MHA lego guys (very cool) and two very enthusiastic Toga cosplayers were so kind and kept me from feeling like a dork going out in public in a Deku wig. All the love to them, fr.

The movie itself though ohhhhh MY~

If I'm being honest this one didn't surpass World Heroes Mission or Heroes Rising for me, but also I don't know what you could do to beat out the movies that gave me such extreme brainrot it got me to be a part of this fandom in the first place. Personal rankings for the movies, best to "worst" is 3, 2, 4, 1.

Maybe it's because I had higher expectations instead of being given the best character in the franchise suddenly with no warning but I did still really REALLY love it. The highest point I can give it is easily the animation. Absolutely zero scenes in this movie feel like they fell to the standard of the anime. Everything was fluid and detailed and so fun to look at. And yes, of course it made every attack flashy as fuck. I was giddy every time Bakugou let out an explosion.

The premise did sound insane going in, and it is, but it's an anime side movie. Caring about the plot is a bonus, not a requirement. I guess my only real gripe is that it felt a little too fast? Very few scenes had time to breathe and unlike the other movies there wasn't really any slow establishing opening. If you come to MHA exclusively for the action, I think this one will be your new favorite.

Okay- I'm gonna just bullet point my highlights because I'm barely restrained enough to sit down and type.

First of all GIULIO!!!

Listen- I knew I would love this guy but oh my god babygirl~

He responds to literally everyone approaching him by pointing a gun at them. No comment this is just great

When Deku tells him to stop shooting at someone, he just pulls out a SECOND GUN and points it at him too

His motorcycle also has guns. Ngl I have expected his eye implant to also have a gun for a moment there.

He is SUCH an asshole to Deku in the first half and I love it. Their dialogue exchanges were so funny.

And in the second half he just,,,,cracks under the pressure so hard,, Man is having the WORST day of his life fr. It's really nice to know he and Anna are safe at UA rn. Poor things deserve it.

Anna and Giulio are really cute romantically, Giulio is definitely adult but he's going in the Deku harem anyway. You can't stop me, I am capable of worse.

Anna herself unfortunately doesn't get much time since she spends most of the movie mind controlled but she's harmlessly sweet and adorable. Anna they could never make me hate you.

I want to smear Dark Might across the side of a wall and given how much they overanimated his expressions, I believe this is the intended effect.

Am I the only one that hopes he sees the Mech Might livestream just to rub salt in the wound? Don't you dare let All Might's name fall from your mouth again, you bag of scum.

I really REALLY wanted Izuku to get pissed off and start naming off inconsistencies between how All Might and Dark Might look: "His eyes are SKY blue, not ocean blue, and while his broad features don't make it obvious, his chin was actually much slimmer, also you got the silver age colors wrong-!" alas... you know he was thinking it though-

Big tiddy mind control gf Deborah my beloved- she has pretty privileges for everything

Actually a lot of the lesser goons of the family were kind of dorky and odd. I loved the energy! Why was one of them literally a D&D nerd that put on a wizard robe OVER HIS SUIT. Most entertaining movie villian group for sure.

The personal dreams everyone had under the mind control? Kill me. Kill me right the fuck now!

Shoto literally just wants a happy childhood with his family??? Where Touya wants to play with him????? And Rei was still happy????? UUGAHWAAAAAAAA

Tenya and Tensei being heroes together STOP-

Shoji with the little girl he saaaaaaved,,,and he didn't have his face scars anymoooooore,,,

So glad they didn't show Ochako's because you know they would have just animated that what if pixel animation of her and Toga being childhood friends and I would have vomited in sorrow.

Absolutely infuriating they broke continuity to have Katsuki call Izuku "Deku" and not "De-Izuku". Never forget what they took from us.

"Beat it, cool side character!" is the best line in the movie. Katsuki does not forget what happened with Rody and he does NOT forgive.

Followed closely by "I'm falling down crotch-first!" And you wonder why I write the fics I do about you, Deku-

Deku being a legend as a jailbreaker hunter is so amazing?? Yes baby, they're so scared of you! You're doing amazing sweetie!

I might think of more but tldr: YOU'RE NEXT IS A REALLY FUN TIME AND YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!

[vidavalor]

Perfectly Splendid

"Perfectly splendid" is a Mary Poppins allusion from another story that, thematically, is an interesting one for Good Omens to be referencing in The Final 15. That story, plus the ton of other Mary Poppins references in the last two episodes of S2 and how that could help us figure out what's going on, beneath the cut.

The phrase "perfectly splendid" is an allusion to Mary Poppins that comes from Mike Flanagan's The Haunting of Bly Manor. It's a modern-set Gothic horror story that features a nanny arriving to care for two, Jane-and-Michael-Banks-esque kids at an English manor house. Flora, the little girl in the story, is obsessed with her mysterious former nanny. We see quickly in the series that Flora has taken to using her former nanny's catchphrase and so calls everything she likes "perfectly splendid" repeatedly throughout the story, in a way that is both cute and eerie as all fuck, depending on the scene.

The "perfectly splendid" is a take on Mary Poppins' "practically perfect" and the homages to Mary Poppins in The Haunting of Bly Manor are overt, if not quite as much as Scary Poppins is in Good Omens. (It would be hard to top that!) Flora saying "perfectly splendid" is the main quote to come out of the series and a reference in Good Omens to this signature bit of The Haunting of Bly Manor is then also a roundabout reference in Good Omens to Mary Poppins.

The Haunting of Bly Manor is a horror story about possession.

Ya know, that thing that Satan did to Crowley in 1.01...

...and, I would wager, in the bits below of 2.06:

When the character Derek Jacobi is playing first arrives, all five angels fail to identify this being as The Metatron... and all while the only demon in the room-- Crowley-- is very still in the chair and suspiciously (forcibly?) silent until spoken to by the being.

The angels not being familiars of The Devil is, I think, the simplest explanation for why none of them can recognize a face that should be very familiar to them. Upon this person being identified as The Metatron, Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are then so terrified of ticking him off that they fail to recognize that he told them all to go back to Heaven using language from the wrong Julie Andrews movie.

If this is The Metatron below, then why is he saying "spit spot" (and alongside "not another word" as a bonus, as she says that, too)? These are Mary Poppins signature phrases and Mary Poppins is Hell's answer to Heaven and The Sound of Music in Good Omens.

I'm actually pretty sure Crowley & Aziraphale had a hand in writing both, which is why neither Hell nor Heaven seem to actually understand their signature stories but, for now, we know which one is supposed to go with which group and any sign of Mary Poppins is a sign of Hell, ever since the Warlock era... which parallels the last two episodes of S2, with The Meeting Ball disaster as a version of Warlock's birthday party. This time around, the party leads to the influence and not the other way around.

In S1, it's Crowley as Scary Poppins at the door to influence Warlock with Aziraphale there to counter him as the gardener... mirrored in S2 with Aziraphale as the Warlock, Crowley the Gardener as one influencing voice and the other being Satan-appearing-as-The-Metatron arriving at the door in the midst of a Poppinspalooza.

But there's still a lot more Mary Poppins than just the above:

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...

Most of the Mary Poppins references actually started the prior night with the arrival of the demons, when Crowley paused in the street in mid-conversation as the demons arrived on Whickber Street and spoke aloud about how he felt a change happening a la Bert in the opening scene of Mary Poppins.

Wind's in the East/Mist comin' in

Like something is brewin'/About to begin...

Then, there's Crowley asking Mrs. Sandwich (who is wearing a plume very much like Bert's favorite lady in that opening scene of Mary Poppins) if she "has her hat pin", which is a reference to the suffragette movement, so cast off the shackles of yesterday! shoulder to shoulder into the fray!...

Mary Poppins' "Sister Suffragette" scene is also an example of one of its many scenes in which the humor is built around two characters who aren't at all hearing one another, which is very similar to Aziraphale and Crowley having issues with that to some extent during The Meeting Ball and then being in full-on, Baby-Swap-Plot-level, miscommunication Hell in That Scene in The Final 15. A lot of those Mary Poppins scenes, including "Sister Suffragette", involve action around a door-- like damn near every scene in Good Omens-- as that is symbolic of communication and whose voice is being listened to at any given time.

Or how everyone was then link your elbows/step in time-ing it the fuck out of the shop...

They're at the gate/step in time... It's The Master/step in time...

That was all after things got a bit supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

So when the cat has got your tongue, Mrs. Sandwich, there's no need to dismay! Just summon up that word and then you've got a lot to say...

Beez's Fly + Hell claiming Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets =

But the best/worst is near the very end:

Though her words are simple and few

Listen, listen/She's calling to you...

Feed the birds/That's what she cries

While overhead/Her birds fill the skies...

So, yeah...

Up/Where the smoke is all billowed and curled, Aziraphale...

...between pavement and stars

is the chimney sweep world...

When there's hardly no day/Nor hardly no night

There's things off in shadow

And off way in white...

We're owed some serious "Let's Go Fly a Kite" come S3. 🦆☂️😊

[midnight1nk]

EPISODE CONCEPT #6

What if… there was a very special day at the Showgrounds?

[more under cut]

For context, the people have spoken and the poll [link] is closed, the winner being 💍 (engagement ring) so I shall reveal what it is, drumroll please...

TWO-IN-ONE DEAL: FERRIS WHEEL WEDDING 🎡 + A SPECIAL SURPRISE AT THE END 💍

SURPRISE! The Wedding Episode Concept, naturally, was the Ferris Wheel emoji, but you all get a bonus for choosing the ring! Sorry that it took so long, but I've wanted to deliver something special to you guys for my birthday! Here's to celebrating my 22nd trip around the sun!

⭐️ 🎉 🎡 🎉 ⭐️

What more could he ask for?

SMG4 has been waiting for this his whole life. He had seen dozens of romcom movies and shows, as it was his guilty pleasure, and he hoped that one day, he would fall in love and perhaps even marry his partner. Of course, it didn’t play out exactly what he had seen.

Could you imagine: him, falling in love with his rival? And a former villain no less?

If you were to tell him years ago that he was going to love, date, and marry SMG3, he wouldn’t believe you. Hell, he would’ve coughed out some water if he had a glass, or stared at you because it must be some practical joke he didn’t get. Right?

But there was no joke nor was it a lie.

Change is a curious thing; the opportunities come so many times, but it takes bravery to say, “I want to change”. It then takes a lot more to say, “I will change”. Naturally, it can be difficult as it is, change having a negative perception. But what is human if not to fear the unknown? Four knew it too well, way before he dared to ask Three out. The ‘perfect’ incident, the Meme Factory. There were a lot of moments that he wasn’t proud of, all fueled by the pursuit of fulfilling an image. To show proof that he is worthy to his friends.

This was what stuck with him for years. He was lost for so long and, although it took him a while to find his self-worth, he knew he wanted to change. It was possible because he had seen it first-hand from Three.

Standing before the tall mirror in his room, he fidgeted with his blue bowtie for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was the same bow he wore in WOTFI 2023, except for the knot coated in a rose gold metallic. This, along with the matching waistcoat, were the only things he asked to be included exclusively in his wedding attire, it felt fitting for the occasion.

Meggy: “SMG4, your wedding’s in half an hour! Don’t mess up your collar.”

Meggy and Luigi were here, helping Four prepare for his big day as well as be his emotional support. Mario was supposed to also be here but apparently, he needed to do something else. He did wish Four luck, though.

Meggy was adjusting his white coat, a fusion of a normal jacket with a tail of what seemed like a wedding dress, all with its layers of ruffles. It matched wonderfully with his white dress pants and shoes. Seeing how Four’s nerves were getting to him, Meggy left the ruffles and helped Four with his bow again. He had to look his absolute best in his suit of white, blue, and rose gold after all.

Meggy stepped back, seeing the whole picture with Luigi. Four posed modestly and a note of hesitation.

SMG4: “Well, um… how do I look?” Luigi, giving a thumbs up: “Spectacular!” Meggy: [*nods*] “Agreed!” [*looks at him with patience*] “Nervous?” SMG4, turns back at the mirror: “Meggy, I’ve been running on expresso and adrenaline for the past couple of hours. Of course, I am.”

Meggy stands behind him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

Meggy: “Do you love him?” SMG4, slips a small smile: “Is that even a question? I do.” Meggy: “And you know he feels the same.” [*Four nods*] “Even if things get tough, you guys can figure it out. I know you can. Honestly, out of the two of you, SMG3’s more of a nervous wreck than you.” SMG4: [*laughs*] “That’s Three for you.”

Four and Three have been dancing around each other for years, one unsure to make the first move. Much less if they felt like the other wouldn’t reciprocate. Pretty sure someone made a scholarly study on their would-they-won’t-they.

When Three dared to make the first move and confess his feelings, it was a lot for Four to take in. Four felt the same way, yes, but he was completely stunned by it that he didn’t know how to respond. That, unfortunately, spiraled into a series of misunderstandings and harsh tension between the two. Slowly, they later were able to clear things up, allowing Four to say “I love you too.”

Eventually, Four asked Three out. Four, being inexperienced in dating, was worried that his date plans weren’t enough. They ended up always being over-the-top. Three, on the other hand, was a complete mess because “No, Eggdog, just because Four invited me to watch a movie together doesn’t mean I can’t look fabulous, and that means I can’t mess up my eyeliner right now”. Over time, they learned to be less extreme and enjoy the simple things. As little as just Three hanging out while Four edits a video, it was worth something.

When they started dating, they decided to keep their relationship a secret. They weren’t exactly sure how the Crew would react, other than pure speculation. But there were certainly hints they’ve unintentionally left behind.

White flowers appearing in the cafe’s empty vases. Three and Eggdog frequently joining Four and Beeg4 for dinner. Three and Four falling sleep from cuddling on the game room sofa.

…Well, maybe they weren't that subtle, now that Four thought about it. He was at least glad that the Crew accepted the relationship when the two eventually told them. He took a breath and smiled at the indigo rose pinned in his lapel. Meggy was right, everything’s going to be okay.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

SMG3: “Nothing is okay!”

Meanwhile, in the cafe, SMG3 was pacing around, his purple heels clicking on the wooden floor. Bob and Saiko looked at him, unfazed.

SMG3: “Oh, by all the memes, what if he cancels the wedding? What if he doesn't want to marry me anymore? I mean, look at me! I look ridiculous, of course he wouldn’t.”

He stopped to present his attire to the other two with open desperate arms. He wore a white sleeveless, ballroom-styled gown with some ruffles in shades of purple and indigo. Like a dyed rose. A white pair of long silk gloves to match. His long hair was tied up in a messy bun with pearls and golden leaves sprinkled on his do. For the final touch, he wore a choker with his skull symbol in gold.

Bob and Saiko exchange a glance, an eyebrow raised.

Bob: “Dude, chill. If anything, I bet that idiot is going to short-circuit, forget everything, and propose to you again the minute he sees you.” SMG3: “Bob, I’m being serious! Weddings can go to complete disaster just by one small thing, and that is a fact.” Saiko: “Well, if you’re done with your what-ifs, come and sit down. I have to put the veil on.” [*pats the stool in front of her*]

Three grumbled, reluctantly taking a seat next to Saiko as she got the long white veil.

Saiko: “SMG3, relax. He’s not going to make fun of you. And no, he's not going to leave you at the altar.” SMG3: [*sighs*] “It's just… so many things could go wrong and… I don't want to lose him.” Saiko: [*her face softens*] “Alright, name me one time he's left you behind. Or that he doesn't care about you.” SMG3: “…Touché.” Saiko: “You love him, don't you?”

Three gives her a look as if she grew two heads. Really?

SMG3: “Of course I do.” Saiko: “Does he love you?” SMG3: “…Yes.” Saiko: “Does he want to marry you as much as you want to?”

SMG3 looked back at the past, remembering that day. Four and Three, as always, have been dancing around the idea of marriage. They joke around and say “maybe one day”, despite them already having engagement rings for each other.

Separately, they asked the other’s son for their approval. Eggdog immediately said yes to Four. If his dad is happy, then he is. But when it was Three’s turn, he was shocked when Beeg gave his approval without hesitation. Beeg explained that Beeg was on his dad's side in the ‘perfect’ incident. Even if Four was possessed and Beeg didn't regularly show it, Beeg did care for his dad. Three was the one who saved him. Not only once, but twice. And even more times afterwards. Beeg was forever thankful for that. Besides, it would be cool to have a dad that's just as chaotic as he is.

Four had planned a romantic date in his favorite flower field, just to propose to Three. Little did he know, Three had the same idea in proposing that day. Naturally, there was shock, confusion, then laughter. Indeed, they were the type of couple who would propose at the same time. Three remembered Four’s reaction, a smile filled with excitement and tears of joy in the corners of his eyes.

SMG3: [*smiles fondly*] “We both wanted this, more than anything.” Saiko: [*nods*] “Then, there's nothing to worry about. Just take his hand and you’ll know: everything is going to be okay.” [*finishes up, clips in the indigo rose to his bun*] “I think you're ready.”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

When it comes to weddings, any newlyweds surprise themselves that they could never remember the finer details. Nerves, excitement, admiration, they all seem to cloud their minds. But even then, through the gaps of clarity, one can find a few memories. It was true when Four walked down the aisle.

Thanks to the recycled rides and stands from Puzzle Park, the Showgrounds appeared livelier than ever before. The lit Ferris Wheel served as the backdrop to the outdoor venue, the sunset painting the sky.

Walking alongside SMG1 and SMG2, Four could see every friend imaginable, all standing to watch their procession. Smiles, waves. Of pride and of silent congratulations. It seemed like the whole Mushroom Kingdom and beyond were here. Meggy and Luigi really helped get everyone settled in.

He manages to catch sight of Saiko, Kaizo, and Bob on a nearby stage, preparing to perform for the reception. They all waved when they noticed Four, Bob being more focused on the DJ turntable playing a record of soft piano tunes.

Once he reached the altar and turned around to wait for his partner, he could see the rest of the Crew in the front row. A few gave him a thumbs up, some were already starting to tear up. Four took a breath, drowning the last of his nerves. It's time.

And indeed, it was. A new tune settled in and the crowd turned to the front of the aisle. Four followed their eyes and no single thing else mattered anymore.

The long-awaited newcomer, SMG3, was the most beautiful person Four had ever seen. He've been knew, of course, but here, Three looked like an angel. A bouquet of indigo and white in hand, Three walked with their son. In tiny top hats and bowties, Eggdog throwing flower petals behind his dad while Beeg was holding the rings. The audience cooed and awed at Three's appearance. Four's heart skipped a beat, his stomach fluttered with butterflies. A lovestruck smile slipped on his face.

There was a mutter from Bob, followed by Saiko elbowing him to shut up, but he wouldn't notice. There was absolutely nothing that could top this.

Then there was Three, managing to see through the veil over his face, was drawn by his love upon the altar. Four looked amazing in the suit. It fitted him like a glove, colors and all. Breath taking. Oh, how much he wanted to run up and tackle him, pepper Four's face with kisses. With all the love in the world, he was tempted to do it. Once he reached the altar, Four offered his hand, Three swore he could melt right here and now.

SMG3, looking away in bashfulness: "Um...hey." [*Four lifts his veil*] SMG4, keeping his giddy smile: "Hi, dear." [*looking to realize they were the only ones at the altar*] "Ok. First off, you look beautiful and I'm willing to skip the vows just so I could kiss you, but... um... did you get someone to officiate our wedding?" SMG3: [*looks at him blankly*] "I thought you did...?"

As if their question was answered by the universe itself, a green pipe sprouted from the ground. Of course, the man of the hour, jumping out of it...

SMG3 and SMG4: "Mario?!" Mario: "Hello! :D" [*climbing out as the pipe went back down into the ground*] "It's about time you gays tie the knot."

Mario struck a pose, wearing his usual overalls and cap except for an additional black bowtie.

SMG4: "Wait, does that mean...? Mario: "Well, you officiate plenty of weddings, SMG4. It's only fair if Mario does it for you, as your Avatar and best friend. Besides, Toadstool gave me permission."

Four and Three looked at each other and shrugged, sure why not? Seeing that there weren't any problems with it, Mario cleared his throat.

Mario: "Dear guests, we're here today to see two of our beloved friends finally be together. Heroes, partners. Not only have they saved us countless times, they also saved each other. And believe it or not, man, how it was pure torture for Mario to see their yearning." [*everyone chuckles*] "Now, Mario may not be the most intelligent, or intelligent at all, but Mario will say this: the love and care between these two is undeniable. As much as they started as rivals, they have grown to be who they are today because of their partner. A miracle of second chances, of understanding. And as their friend, Mario can say how happy he is for the two of them." SMG4, whispers: "Wow, Mario. Thank you, that was actually very sweet." Mario, whispers back: "Dude, Mario's been captain of the ship from day one. Especially because of the igloo. Anyway..."

SMG3 and SMG4 froze, and glanced at the crowd with nervous smiles. Hopefully, no one else heard that. And no, no one did.

Mario: "If anyone objects to the wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace." [*the crowd stayed silent*] SMG3: "Good, because I was about to fight anyone that did." [*Four snickers*] Mario: "Now, for the vows." [*Beeg comes forth with the rings, offering them to his dads*] SMG4, holding a rose gold ring: "Three..."

But before Four could say anything else, a loud crash interrupted the ceremony. The ground shook violently, Three and Four held to each other protectively. Then, another rumble, this time the Ferris Wheel crashing down. The impact created a giant dust storm, the terror rising within the crowd. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

As the dust settles, a large figure emerges. Unfamiliar for most, the opposite for the Crew.

SMG4, eyes narrowed: "You..." ???: "Ah, was I too late to object? Or you didn't care to invite me?" SMG3: "Please, as if we wanted you here. At all." ???, to SMG4: "Gee, and I wonder how a hero would come to ruin, marrying a villain? Then again, with you and your perfectionism, you might've already had." [*turns to Three*] "And you, did you really believe turning yourself into a "good guy" would make you feel better for what you've done in the past? Or what, did you think villains could have happy endings?"

Three frees himself from Four's embrace to step forward, an arm shielding his partner.

SMG3: "Now, listen here, asshole! Being a villain or not, I don’t give a shit what you all think of me anymore. But don’t think I’m going to let you crash in here and ruin our wedding day!" ???: "Hmph. Well then, I would like to see you try."

With a wave of their hand, a whole army of henchmen starts to emerge from the woods, marching towards them. Somehow, SMG3 pulls out a giant machine gun out of thin air, leaving everyone flabbergasted. Where the hell did that come from?

SMG3, smug: "Bet on it."

Just as everyone else reacted, Four did as well. No, like seriously, where did Three get that gun from? Regardless of what that answer may be, Four simply seeing Three's iconic grin made him blush. Screw what Four said earlier, this was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Oh spaghetti gods, that was kinda hot.

SMG4: “Three…” Please marry me... oh wait, I already proposed. Shit. SMG3, looking back at his partner with reassurance: “I know it’s not how the wedding’s supposed to go, but since when was our world ever normal?” [*offers a hand*] “Whaddaya say, want to kick some ass?”

Four, completely enamored by Three, happily accepted his hand.

SMG4: “I’d say, let’s give the audience what they want.”

He winks at the viewer. Yes, you, the one behind the screen. He then turns to Saiko, Kaizo, and Bob.

SMG4: “Drop us a beat.”

The three nodded and performed a song, unlike one that would normally play at a wedding. The two parties clash, hordes of henchmen fighting against guests in fancy outfits.

Mario and Luigi knocked out a few with a hammer and vacuum respectively while Meggy had their back with her Splattershott.

Tari shot down enemies from the sky and Melony in her god mode struck several in the ground with her sword.

In the heart of it all, there was the newlyweds. Three switched between using his machine gun to throwing bombs. Four meanwhile used his meme power and a handgun, his senses becoming hyper-sensitive. If his new abilities taught him anything, it was that he could maneuver like an actual glitch. One second, he was in front of you, and in the next, he would be right behind you to strike. To them, this was an elaborate dance that only they knew the steps of.

They supposed it was true about weddings, time moves so quickly that you never remember the finer details. But Four, protecting his partner's back, knows that, in a moment of clarity: he was lucky to have Three by his side.

Soon, the army retreated back into the woods, and the villain, tempted to hide their defeat, glared at the duo.

???: "This isn't over."

And with that, they fed in a blink of an eye. The guests cheered, celebrating their victory. Three dropped his gun and was about to ask if Four was okay. Instead, Four jumped into his arms and kissed him. Three was certainly surprised by it but kissing his love back. Their attires were tattered up in tears and stains, their hair looking like bird nests. They didn't care.

The two part, and Three raised his eyebrow.

SMG3: “Doesn’t the kissing part come after we exchange the rings?” SMG4: [*rolls eyes amusingly*] “Oh, now I’m not allowed to kiss my future husband?” SMG3: [*takes a gold ring from his gown pocket*] “Husband.”

The two exchanged the rings as they said their vow:

I, as your partner, acknowledge that we had a rough start, clashing due to jealousy and greedy desires. But despite it all, I always have and will admire you, willing to forgive you for the hurt that was done. I promise to be with you when you need me. I promise to continue to love you, be your partner-in-crime. Let me be with you in every adventure until the very last. It'll be 'you and me against the world', until the stars fall from the sky...

SMG3: “As your husband, I promise to be true.” SMG4: “As your husband, I promise to be your light.

The two shared another kiss, this time the crowd cheering for the couple. Together, always and forever. A life spent with their love is all they could ever wish.

What more could he ask for?

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

⭐️ 🎉 💍 🎉 ⭐️

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this episode (concept), I've been waiting to share this one with you guys for so long and I had the perfect time to do so!

By the way, for SMG4's outfit, I was inspired by this from Pinterest [link] AKA the most enby wedding outfit that I've ever seen. For SMG3, I kinda just made it up on the spot but thought about "pretty princess" the whole time. As for the battle scene, I had the perfect (oh yeah, gonna use that word) song that matches it [link], a remix track from Deadpool & Wolverine. Just imagine all the slowmo, *chef's kiss*.

Anyway, thank you all so much for the birthday wishes and presents, it really meant a lot to me and made my day feel special.

Hang on, I'm getting a call....

Whats this?? ...MERCH?!?!? That's right, introducing:

Ferris Wheel Wedding (Fake) Merch Line

First up we got a special acrylic keychain, where one side we have the lovely couple standing in front of the Ferris Wheel, and on the other side, here they are being totally badass.

It also comes in as a standee, WOW

Next up, we got a poster of the newlyweds off to their honeymoon. Aw, look at them riding Four's forklift! How lovely ❤️

And lastly, for a limited time only, we have the matching wedding rings, exact replicas of Four and Three's!

Share it with a partner if you have one, use it in an actual wedding, or just have it as a souvenir!

GET YOUR MERCH TODAY!

(i'm luke trust me /j)

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i was thinking about how ariel from the little mermaid is criticized so harshly for "giving up her voice and family for some guy" when there was definitely a lot more to it than that.

ariel had dreams outside of eric. she wanted to see the world, she wanted to get acquainted with humans and human traditions and she wasn't satisfied with her life underwater. that was the whole point of "part of your world", she barely mentions eric in it. he was just a bonus in her new life, not her entire purpose.

why am i talking about a random disney movie? it's because i was thinking of lumity, and how amity also rebelled against her family for a new life. except.. amity really only mentions luz (and "the others" because let's be real, she did not give a shit about willow and gus at that point). amity's sole reason to go against her family's values was luz.

this, if anything, could be considered "giving up everything for a love interest" but people don't see it that way because amity's parents were shitty to begin with. but if you look at the little mermaid from a different perspective, you could argue that king triton wasn't a very good parent either.

he literally throws a temper tantrum just because his teenage daughter has a crush on a guy. ariel is legit terrified in that scene, and regardless of whether triton had good intentions or not, he made his daughter feel unsafe and turn to an impulsive decision in a moment of emotional distress.

all of this to say, you could argue that ariel had no reason to stay with her family either, given that her father lacks emotional sensitivity and does not sit down and try to communicate with his child, instead of destroying her collection and scaring her away.

coming back to amity, i can understand that luz inspired her to actually do something about her abusive parents, and that's sweet. but we never get to see what else amity wanted. since they never established a friendship arc between amity and gus or willow (she apologized to willow, sure, but the rekindling of their relationship happens much later on), all we know is that amity is tired of being abused and she wants to be with luz.

from an abuse victim's perspective, amity standing up against her parents was powerful. but unlike ariel, amity doesn't seem to want anything besides luz. and she never explores what she wants to do, now that she has successfully cut herself away from her mother's influence. her whole life revolves around luz after that.

there was that abomination brawl episode but even that ended up being about luz. the brawl was just a quick montage, it only existed for the emotional drama that came later on. in fact, even when the plot was focused on amity, it was more about her relationship with her father rather than her autonomy and personal interests.

there's a reason why a lot of people liked the mean girl version of amity. she had personality, she had interests and goals, she had CHARACTER. it was all fake and a result of trauma, but it was there and it helped flesh out her character. but after she is redeemed? there's nothing left of the old amity, not even the more positive/neutral traits, and her only personality is "luz's awesome girlfriend".

amity's arc should have been about exploring what she wanted outside of her parents' wishes. abuse often turns you into a shell of a person and recovering from years of trauma isn't as simple as getting a romantic partner. it takes therapy (and that is canonically an option in the boiling isles, let me remind you), it takes self-reflection, it takes giving yourself the permission to choose your own destiny and explore yourself outside of your abusers' expectations.

and amity gets none of this. her trauma and arc was resolved too quickly, even for a show that was cut short. they just gave her a makeover, got her into a relationship with luz and called it a day. the only reason people aren't giving her the ariel treatment is (probably) because lumity is a queer ship.

[untilthatdayimgood]

Spoilers for season 2. This is mostly rambling about speculations.

So we all know Arcane loves it's parallels right? So last season we had Jayce's life improve constantly as Viktor's health deteriorates before our eyes. This season it seems it's the opposite with Viktor becoming a Cyborg Messiah while Jayce steps down from being counsellor, is sliced with a chainsaw, his girlfriend possibly gets kidnapped and so on. So my question is what we think the breaking moment will be for Viktor? Like how Jayce had the murder of that child that traumatised him and started his downwards spiral.

There's no right and wrong answer obviously but hey it's fun to speculate until the next season comes out. I think Orianna might actually be the (insert Russian accent) "Oh no, my glorious evolution messed up" moment for Viktor. So we are all speculating that Singed is trying to revive Orianna who is probably possibly, right? (you may ask how that's possible with the stupid decision of everything being canon and in one universe and us already meeting Orianna's dad, well you see dear reader, gay people exist-/hj)

Quick recap of who Orianna Reveck is: a once living girl from Piltover with a scientist father who after a disaster struck in Zaun, escaped Piltover and went down to attempt to save as many victims by handing out respirators, giving her own to save a child. Safe to say she fell terminally ill after inhaling all the poison people in the undercity regularly inhale. Her father, desperate to save her life replaced her with a creepy metallic robot resembling a music box ballerina. Except it's not her, it's a mindless monster and her heart is stuck in a ball that the doll carries. So you know that creepy music box melody anytime Singed is shown trying to create life from the dead? Orianna's theme. Bonus of Singed mentioning he had a daughter in the last episode, you can see why everyone thinks it is Orianna. Rip Corin Reveck I guess.

So if Singed does try to revive the wolves and possibly Vander by mixing them and Warwick is the closest he can get to it and he isn't satisfied because he doesn't want his daughter to be some mindless monster that barely resembles a human, he could very well turn to his former pupil turned Cyborg Jesus. I imagine the arcane would lose it at that point because it's already protesting when Viktor healed that guy but Orianna would be necromancy because she is not sick or dying, she is an actual corpse. Also the fact she is fully robot! Which did make sense with Corin in old lore but Singed is more of a biochemist. But who isn't? That's right Glorious Evolution Massiah. Of course it will go horribly wrong, see above the mindless murdering doll description. Jayce takes away someone's child and is hunted by it, Viktor returns someone's child except he doesn't and is traumatised by it. Oh I hope we get to see horror movie monster Orianna.

[66sharkteeth]

Weekly thoughts!

Hooboy, the big episode! First off, I think everyone knows by now that you probably shouldn't read these if you haven't read the latest episode, but I ESPECIALLY mean that this week! Talking about some way bigger than usual spoilers.

Phew, this was a big one, both from a writing and drawing perspective. I actually spent a full day on that last panel alone, but writing it took way longer than usual too. Going back and forth between Bell's speech and Jericho's backstory played perfectly like a movie in my head, but it was really hard to portray it as a comic and it was one of the few times I was struggling with the limitations of the format. I think I pulled it off though, since everyone seemed to follow along fine! So while it was probably just a neat scene to everyone else, I'm rather proud of that haha.

As for the actual contents of the episode, I'm also glad everything hit w/ the majority of the audience for the most part. I know a handful were confused about if that was Bell or Jericho who did that, but to those people, I remind you it's been loooong established Jericho can control his extensions (Bell, Charlie, and Claude. Remember, they all took injections of Jericho's blank space?). Also on that note, Bell does not have her own scion... Only Rex and Jericho do. Bell, Charlie and Claude all took injections of Jericho's blank space, thus get to borrow some of his power. I recommend re-reading ep 80 if you need a refresher.

I do consider this ep kind of a big reveal of Jericho's true colors. I mean, you guys have known he's the main villain for ages now, but this is the ep that reveals his "better world for blanks" act is kind of a façade and what he's really seeking is a worse world for humans. The fall of humans benefitting blanks is just kind of a bonus. I'm glad a few people caught onto this with the fact that one of the worst horrors he experienced was having his autonomy taken away from him, then he proceeds to do just that to Bell.

And speaking of Jericho's horrors- Before this season launched, I dropped a bunch of hints about upcoming things. One of them was that the most disturbing scene (in my opinion) was coming up. I was actually referring to what happened to Kallie. I'm not sure if it was as disturbing to everyone else (I totally get like if Claude's leg thing fucked people up more), but being evaporated into nothingness but not dying was an existential dread that really fucks me up haha. If it fucked even a couple of other people up, then I did my job.

I don't have too much else to say about the contents of the episode. It was so hard to bite my tongue for weeks as everyone predicted pretty much every character but Desmond was gonna get it. I'm sorry I don't have too much else to say about him right now given what happened, but I definitely will in the upcoming weeks.

I guess the only other note I have is I might as well address something that bugs me slightly- It's definitely a minority but there's a handful of people who seem done with the series because "too many things go wrong." To which... I'm not sure what to tell ya. I'm fine with critique and criticism to be clear, but honestly, this is one thing I'm actually really confident I'm good at balancing. I'm not sure where people are coming from with "nothing good ever happens in this series" when this season alone has had probably the cutest and fluffiest scenes. Rex has a canon girlfriend, he had his first kiss with her, Desmond was reunited with his sister and learned to accept himself, Lyss learned to move past her trauma and accept blanks, Rex was reunited with Shnee, Rex's scion turns out to be a puppy dog w/ a crush. I'm aware a lot of these got kind of crushed with this latest ep...but that's.. kind of. the. point??? That's how you write tragedy and impactful scenes??

I dunno, maybe this is personal to me because it's ALWAYS bugged me when someone tells me they think a show is bad because it's "too dark." Like no... It's not *bad* because it's too dark, you just don't like dark themes, and that's okay. I TOTALLY get if CoB has gotten too dark for some people- it's definitely hit some hard themes and subjects, but I don't like to accept that as a critique. It just means it's not for you and that's okay. There's a ton of other great comics that are more light-hearted! I think the TLDR of this is it will always annoy me when people say something is bad just because it's not their taste.

Now. That said... everyone is completely valid in their hate of Jericho. I, however, still love him.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

wow, this episode was wild from start to finish — the makgeolli scene was ludicrous, sol's elder brother is annoying, and HOW DARE they end it on such a cliffhanger!!!

that said, i LOVED the parallels of sol switching the fan on for sunjae while he was sleeping just like he did for her in previous episodes (it was such a lovely, subtle bit of cuteness) — him unconsciously covering her hand with his own was an added bonus.

that boy is aware of her EVEN IN HIS SLEEP.

i think it's a testament to byeon woo-seok's acting that he's able to communicate the tenderness of his feelings for sol so well with just his eyes — i keep mentioning this, but there's a literal reverence in his gaze when he looks at sol that's simply uncanny. his whole face just softens when he looks at her!!!

kim hye-yoon matches this well with the way her face lights up when she's watching sun-jae — her smile is pure RADIANCE when she's looking at him.

there's such genuine respect and adoration in her expression that it just warms my heart.

sunjae confessing his feelings all in a rush was such a bittersweet experience for me — first love is often so sweet but also overpowering and bewildering — you can see from the beginning of the story how helpless sunjae is in the wake of his emotions for sol.

he put her into music and made her memory eternal!

having said that, i was NOT a fan of the way sol rejected sunjae at the hospital. i understand her reasons (since she's uncertain over her fate after the day of her accident / her having to return to the future) but she didn't have to be that harsh.

the poor boy even said "don't be so cold" 🥺

and the fact that she realized she was his first love and the song was about her — only to get kidnapped right after: EVIL move on the writers' part.

i think she'll manage to get out of this without getting paralyzed again (maybe with sunjae's help) — that's why the promo showed her walking in the future.

i know a little about the webtoon, so i'm pretty sure sunjae DOES remember her, he's just behaving coldly because she rejected him / or because after the accident past!sol returned and didn't remember him and he distanced himself ever since then.

either of those reasons would also explain his refusing not to do the movie that sol's presumably directing.

as far as sol trying to stop him from coming to the bridge — she probably realized something to do with his death. it might be related to her (and the taxi-driver) so she's trying to stop sunjae from meeting her and putting everything into motion again.

i think the first time she went into the past, it was to remember sunjae, the second was to prevent her accident, and the third will be her finally stopping sunjae's death.

hate to say it, but i think sol will have to go through sunjae dying again before she goes back into the past for the third and final time (probably when they're in university) and saves him at last.

she better save him and make sure they have a happy ending, otherwise this viewer is going to become a LOVELY HATER. XD

NOW HOW WILL I SURVIVE UNTIL NEXT MONDAY??? 😭

[sylvies-chen]

ok TED LASSO EPISODE 2 THOUGHTS:

keeley wanting to take a blood oath with her coworkers on ayahuasca is so funny like these writers really understand girl culture 😌

dani is the unsung hero of this episode because his lines have such an innocence to them even as he’s telling trent to fuck off which honestly takes talent to portray with such naïveté so kudos to cristo for that!

THE TEAM BEING UPSET EVEN BY THE RUMOUR OF ROY AND KEELEY BREAKING UP hands down the funniest and most amazing scene of the episode like they all know roykeeley are precious and the king and queen must be protected at all costs i love those himbos 🥰

trent is doing his best and honestly we love him for it. I mean look at that face, what’s not to love?

I do think his book will cause some ground to rumble at richmond though. rebecca and keeley and higgins were right in nodding vigorously at ted because it will not be good if it blows up

also rebecca saying yes while seeing a bunch of no gestures just after ted did the same thint mhm yeah soulmates I do believe

roy is being his usual self this episode and you can so clearly see how his mindset with his career last season set the tone for his mindset in his relationship with keeley which led him to break up with her. he’s being stupid because hello, she’s keeley fucking jones, he needs to get over the insecurity, but I also get how his it’s valid as he’s felt it in so many aspects of his life before. him holding onto the news clipping is proof of that. the whole “some people would rather quit than get fired” thing just is so layered with him dumping her out of fear that he would end up dumped one day and have his insecurities about not being good enough for her confirmed. this also means he’s growing and will get over it though, trust in endgame everyone !!

zava is more of a diva then jamie was in season 1 and it is going to be a BLAST watching jamie perhaps revert back to his old self just a *little* bit out of jealousy and watch these two have one big ol’ diva-off (in my head it plays out like a “lip sync battle for your life” on rupaul’s drag race kind of moment but that’s just me)

THE PUB BESTIES ARE BACK OMG

jamie trying to hug roy and roy shoving him away cause he was freaked out was absolutely hilarious like it’s giving fleabag when claire tried to hug her (if anyone hasn’t seen fleabag pls go watch it on amazon prime)

Rupert Mannion is a slimy turd and I hope Rebecca murders him in a violent and unspeakable manner and then gets away with it

also Rebeca yelling at Zava in the bathrooms paralleling when she told Keeley that men give each other jobs in bathrooms all the time!!! Haha!

give me a ten hour episode of Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso batting his eyelashes and making comments about Hallmark Christmas movies and I will be a happy woman

BONUS: the amsterdam snowglobe!!! THEY KEEP TEASING THIS TRIP AND GOOD LORD IT IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 114

Wow, yeah, that was LOUD! Matt's right, they're just RARING to go right now ...

A time capsule, Sam? Really? Oh gods Sam, no ... PLEASE don't evoke the cursed memory of the Cats movie, you know not what you do ... Sam: "Robbie, you have a line." Robbie: "No I don't! No I ... wow, you guys looked really young in 2019!" Sam: "And we still do!" Yeah ... definitely ... Sam really has let this one devolve into chaos, hasn't he? Dear gods ... I always say this mighty be their worst ad yet, but I think this one might be the blue ribbon baby ...

Marisha: "It's making your lips BLUE!!!" O.O

Laura: "Speaklng of Critmas ... did we talk about that?" Ashley: "I don't know!"

Oh my fucking gods there's an ACTUAL Tusk Love BOOK coming out? Holy cow ... O.O Ashley: "It better be smutty!" Indeed!

That's a good point ... how IS the wedding gonna work if they DIE?!!!

Ooooooooooh ... nervous, nervous ... so nervous! This could go SO BAD!!! I'm so anxious, guys!

First look at the Battlmap for this session ... and it's a MONSTER ... holy fuck this is SO FUCKING INTIMIDATING ... this is where it's all gonna kick off, then ...

Holy Aura? Okay ... so that's going on for EVERYBODY, then? Oh, that's a nice package, indeed ... but also DEFINITELY not subtle either ... hmmm ... but it's not gonna last, either ... better make it count, guys!

Oh, yeah ... smart, maybe hold off on that for a little break to get their shit in order first ... nice thinking, Liam.

No Orb in sight? Hmmmmm ... good or bad? Should we be concerned about that?

Yes. Keyleth's voice would be VERY LOW AND GRAVELLY right now ... and now Grog's using his Titanstone Gauntlets to SUPERSIZE ... oh, and Matt has an EXTRA LARGE GROG MINI?!!! Awesome!

Good point. The Orb is NOT the first order of business here ... they have to remove the Bacon ... sorry, the BEACON first ...

What WAS that strange loud buzzing thing that passed overhead in the smoky sky? Should we be worried about that?

Freedom of Movement for Keyleth and Scanlan? Oh yeah, that might be helpful with him having A MASSIVE HORSE BODY right now!

SIX HUNDRED FEET?!!! Fucking hell, Vex ... that bow is OP'd. I mean this whole crew is pretty OP'd, but still ...

Windup toys? Intriguing ... Professor Anders with a vial of green liquid ... sounds potentially destructive ... is this gonna be a Jinx's monkey-bomb with the Hex crystals kind of situation?

Keyleth's Call Lightning's still up? Cool.

So, Vex fires off an explosive shot to DEVASTATING EFFECT with a genuine NAT-FUCKING-20!!! Okay, then ... what a way to start this off ... AND with a Sneak Attack? Holy shit ... this is gonna be a SCARY amount of damage ... lots of dice maths, especially with the doubling ... O.O ... really, that was like 77 points of damage in ONE HIT?!!! Insane explosive wrecking ball of an attack there, Vex! No wonder the intended target is COMPLETELY DESTROYED in one single hit ...

And that is DEFINITELY it for any remaining pretences of stealth, definitely ... it's all KICKING OFF!!!

Marisha: "Who's mind-fucking me?" Travis: "Isn't that always the question?"

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Here we fucking GO!!!

Percy's up first? No wonder ... Bad News with a Deadeye Shot! Okay, then ... NO MERCY PERCY!!! Here we go ... he's gonna DESTROY this poor bastard ... a Psychic Shield? Oh, you cheater ... OF COURSE he takes another shot at him then ... oh fuck ... a MISFIRE?!!! Balls ... so he has to waste his Bonus to fix it ... nuts ... next shot hits, though ... and he busts the shield AND grabs some meat! Nice ...

Vex aims to finish what her hubby started on the Thought Eater ... staying at long range, she uses her Lightning Arrow ... dice maths ALMOST beats her, but she gets it together ... and yeah she manages to FUCK HIM UP!!! Nice ... now the orbs are lighting up, though ... oof ... so she scoots off out of range of THAT SHIT too ... O.O

Keyleth plunges into the ground and ploughs under to make her way as close as she can get to the Key ...

A vidulch from ABOVE?!!! What the sweet fuck? That's terrifying ... AND YES, that mini REALLY IS pure nightmare fuel! In fact I can't even call that a MINI ... O.O ... and it has a RIDER?!!! Fuck, who's THIS GUY? He sounds scary ...and the vidulch has a NAME, apparently ... Scrag? Lovely ...

And now it's SCRAG'S turn? Fuck ... and it has FIVE ATTACKS?!!! Dear fucking gods ... quite right everybody's just FREAKING OUT, Travis especially ... O.O

Travis: "Matt, what did ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

That's right, this thing is basically a FUCKING TARASQUE ... yeah, this is entirely Matt bucking for a TPK this session ... O.O

Oh great ... here come the fucking freaky ancient Reiloran hive mind, any second now ... as if we didn't have ENOUGH to deal with ...

So ... not much Lieve'tel can do right now ... so she just makes her way the best she can towards the Key instead ... but the massive horrowshow gets an attack of opportunity on her on the way ... argh ... and it FUCKING HURTS ...

The Shrikes' turn? Ouch ... this won't be pretty ... they're holding their actions? Not good AT ALL ...

Grog leaps onto the platform and tries to distract the big beastie ... meanwhile battering at a pillar with his Knuckles? Yeah, this should be interesting ... especially since he's STILL Raging ... BOOM!!! BOOM!!! He brings it down and BARELY manages to jump off in the process ... oh yeah, they don't want a piece of Grog AT ALL right now, they're smart ...

Laura: "What do you horse eyes see, Scanlan?" Cute ... XD

Scanlan starts punching the Tower with SCANLAN'S HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNDD!!! Sam has COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this, it's been SO BLOODY LONG ... and it really does absolutely BUGGER ALL ... oh dear ...

Sunder King Ozo Cruth? Hmmmm ... okay, then ... the Juggernaut on the vidulch looks up at Vex and takes his glass sword to fire at her ... but when it hits, the Dawnfather's protection instead makes his spell REBOUND back into him with a SHITTON of Radiant damage ... O.O ... nice ... which knocks him on his arse ... but he's also able to DRAG HER DOWN into melee with him? Oh shit ... and now he's pulling out a nasty barbed mace ... to attack her THREE TIMES?!!! Fuck! Bone Graver? Charming ... thankfully only one hits, and it puts him on his arse again thanks to the Dawnfather ...

Oh fuck ... NOW what? Oh fuck ... another mini that's not an actual MINI ... Vorak? Oh, that is just NASTY ...

Laura: "I think you think we're better than we are, Matt!"

So it's a bane worm? Lovely ... it goes STRAIGHT for Grog ... and starts trying to chew on him! Ow! Thankfully he JUST manages to pull free in time ... and hits back, dealing a substantial punch in return ... so it shoots a bunch of spines at him! Great ... thank fuck the Big Man is Raging ...

Cerkonos clambers over the wall in his fire elemental form and stalks up to the vidulch, then casts Cinjure Aanimals, summoning peregrine falcons? Hmmmm ... interesting choice ... they start swarming the beastie and its rider, dealing a variety of damage ... 5 D10 of Slashing damage? Nice ...

Pike shifts as close as she needs to get into range before hurling a Sunburst at the Malleus Key ... oh, apparently this is gonna be a BIG BLAST effect ... come on Everlight, kick some arse ... that's a fail for Scrag, but not for Ozo ... and another guy just gets VAPORIZED into ash ... another gets badly burned ... yeah, she has inflicted A WHOLE LOT of damage in that one hit ... meanwhile th4e flash of it lights up EVERY LITTLE DETAIL on the Tower ... and some of them are BLINDED too ...

Vorak manages to bite down on Grog this time and starts chewing on him now he's IN ITS FUCKING MOUTH!!! Oh shit! O.O

Poor blind bastard just pratfell RIGHT DOWN THOSE STAIRS ... it'd be pitiful if it wasn't a bad guy ... instead it's just FUNNY. XD

Oh shit ... those fucking orbs are doing stuff now ... help! O.O ... and now Pike's getting Mind Ravaged ... or rather NOT, she got SO FUCKING LUCKY there ... but the second one HITS!!! Oof ... Damn Psychic damage! That hurts AND disorients her.

Fuck ... Lieve'tel is uncermoniously DUMPED ON THE GROUND ... that's not nice AT ALL!!! Now she's getting mindfucked TOO ... O.o

Percy takes advantage of the flash to take a good look at the Tower ... and he FINDS THE LOCATION they're looking for! Phew! He pulls out his walking stick, pops out the blades and slashes as the Shrike ... which just misses ... NUTS!!! Next one hits, though ... then he stabs at him while SHOOTING HIM with the built-in gun! Nice ... and now the Shrike is RIGHT NEXT to Percy's toy ... so he shoots at the toy ... okay, then, this should be interesting ... Professor Anders blows up, showering the Shrike AND Scrag with a lethal toxin! Even more nice! No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Vex bamfs Trinket out behind Ozo ... REALLY?!!! And then as he starts savaging the Juggernaut she just FLIES OFF?!!! Abandoning her beloved ancient bear? O.O ... my gods ... now she starts SHOOTING AT Ozo with her bow ... Bramble Shot! Okay ... she misses ... crap! Second hits, though ... come on OP bow in the hands of the greatest ranger of all time! Nice ... that is a FUCKTON of damage, Laura! 72 points of damage in ONE ATTACK!!!

Keyleth casts Earthquake with the full intent to try and BRING DOWN THE TOWER ... O.O ... what are the chances this ACTUALLY WORKS?!!! Without accidentally killing half of them in the process? Oh my fucking gods this is HARROWING ...

Oh dear, the poor cowering Vanguard in the tent have been THOROUGHLY PULVERISED by the ensuing tremors ... yeah ... okay, so now EVERYBODY still on the ground needs to make a dex save ... crap ...

Wow ... yeah, this is taking out a BUNCH of people all at once ... oh, and Scrag get knocked on its arse, too! Completely crushing that poor bastard Shrike that was still underneath it ... wow ... meanwhile the Tower HAS taken some damage, but is still standing ...

Scrag gets back up and goes STRAIGHT for Keyleth ... crap ... MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!!! Yeah, this thing is FULLY INTENT on inflicting a whole HELL of a lot of hurt on our girl right now, including a massive amount of acidic vomit ... yuck! Shit ... now Matt's doing a whole hell of a lot of dice rolling ...

Great ... Lieve'tel's Planar Ally is now GONE ... great ...

Balls ... the Weavemind are starting to manifest then, looks like ... and now they're all getting BATTERED TO THE GROUND with psychic energy from beyond the stars! So to speak ... crap ... yeah, Vex just got pounded RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!!! That's not cool! At least it didn't break the broom, but still, HEY!!!

Lieve'tel drags herself upright and heads for the Tower ... she casts Divine Intervention to try and rip the Beason free from the structure! Holy shit ... O.O ... hundreds of ravens? Oh, that's really awesome ... go you magnificent murder! Oh yeah, that's the ticket ... yeah, there we go, it's fucking WORKING!!! THERE IT IS!!! THE BEACON!!! EXPOSED!!! PERFECT!!!

Finally a little Healing Word to pep herself up again a little ...

Grog is currently INSIDE THE FUCKING WORM!!! He immediately gets burned by acid and that just sends him into a Frenzied Rage! He is currently Drax in the belly of the weird beast at the start of Guardians Volume 2 so he just starts SMASHING AND SLASHING AWAY!!! Thanks to his Brutal Criticals this is a FUCKTON of damage ... he is thoroughly FUCKING THIS THING UP from within! That's over 100 points of damage in one turn and so no surprise it just PUKES HIM RIGHT OUT AGAIN ... now he's just slashing away again from the OUTSIDE ...

Scanlan uses Scanlan's Hand to try and pluck the Beacon loose ... oh, this might not work ... let's see if he beats the spell ... 26? Hmmmm ... and that is a FAIL for the tower's structure ... yeah, he wins and the Beacon has been pulled out ... oh my fucking gods the Bloody Bridge GUTTERS OUT!!! YEAH!!!

The storm overhead just blows itself out VIOLENTLY, blasting the battlefield with massive winds, but overhead the leylines start to return to their original configuration! Holy shit! They did it!

And now Matt calls a break ... yup ...

So, back with THE REST of Scanlan's turn ... he bringsd the Beacon back to him and drops it right at his feet. Then he casts Dominate Monster on Scrag? Holy fuck ... and it FUCKING WORKS?!!! Unbelievable ... so he commands it to attack ANYTHING on its back ... INCLUDING TRINKET?!!! Oh my fucking gods! O.O

Now it's Ozo's go! He leaps off the back of the Vidulch, using Frenzied Wrath to attack Vex ... oh shit ... so Scanlan tries to mitigate the damage with Cutting Words ... oh boy, this could fail so spectacularly ...

Thank fuck for the Dawnfather ... Vex still gets hurt but it knocks the Juggernaut on his arse again ... he gets back up and just goes for her AGAIN ... more damage for BOTH of them, and Scanlan's Cutting Words does BUGGER ALL ...

Wait ... so he's basically stuck in an attack loop until he fails THREE TIMES?!!! I mean it's hurting him but it's STILL hurting HER too! One miss ... then two ... come on, one more ... fuck, Vex is not DOWN ... but Death Ward brings her back up! Shit, he hits her AGAIN!!! He is FULLY INTENT on ripping her to shreds ... she's down and he just keeps hitting her! She's dying! FUCK!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Her final thoughts are of her children ... fuck ... and Percy ... she REACHES FOR HIM ... gods FUCKING DAMN IT!!! Fuck ... is Vex really DEAD now? O.O

Grog keeps on hacking away at the worm ... it blasts him with spines, then tries to bite him again ... which fails SPECTACULARLY!!! Phew ...

Cerkonos jumps down and tries to get to Grog ... he burns his action getting there, so he can't do anything else ... nuts ...

Pike does everything she can to get to Vex, using Divine Intervention to call on the Everlight to bring her back ... oh PLEASE let this work ... PLEASE ... oh ... oh fuck ... the Dawnfather's helping too? Oh thank fuck ... nice save, guys! Yes! She's back ... that's such a relief ... finally Pike piles in a 3rd Level Healing Word into her for good measure ... thank you so much Pickle, youre the MVP like always ...

Okay, so half of the scattered foot soldiers are just BOOKING IT now the Bridge of gone ... nice ... another one tries to attack Cerkonos and gets burned in the process ... oof ...

Shit ... the orbs are still working! That's not good ... so Grog gets a MASSIVE blast from the nearest one, which he barely shakes off thanks to the Knuckles ... oh shit, looks like they're just ALL shooting at Grog right now ... O.O ... shit ...

Gods, this is fucking EXHAUSTING ... I'm so worn out by this endless battle ... these sessions really do take so much out of me ...

Percy is FUCKING FURIOUS about what Ozo just did to his wife and is THOROUGHLY INTENT on killing him spectacularly dead ... he walks right through an attack of opportunity without even slowing down! Bloody hell ... oh fuck No Mercy Percy is ALL THE WAY ON right now! He casts Hex, pulls out Manners and throws it ... and MISSES!!! Shit! Okay, now what? So he just pulls out Bad News and starts blasting! A Grit point for advantage, nice ... BOOM!!! Another shot ... BOOM AGAIN!!! Action Surge, then ... fuck, misfire! He pulls out Animus instead ... another hit! BANG!!! Another! Whirling Parry? Oh you fuck ... another Action Surge, then ... another hit! BANG!!! So he pumps 6 Points of Cabal's Ruin in for good measure ... a tone of Lightning damage, then! CRACK-POW-BOOM!!! Yet ANOTHER hit! BOOM!!! And another! BOOM!!! That is an INSANE bout of damage inflicted ... and the fucker is STILL STANDING?!!! My gods ...

Vex gets up, grabs her broom and flies up into the air. Yeah, smart, after all that she NEEDS to keep some distance right now ... she fires an Explosive arrow at him ... which he ALSO parries ... CRAP!!! Her second arrow misses ... shit! She just made herself a target again ...

Keyleth switches into her Air Elemental form, throwing another Earthquake wave through everything as she boosts herself up into the air. Heading STRAIGHT for the top of the Tower ...

Oh nice! Yes! The Weavemind's orb pillars are FALLING!!! Sweet Kiki you total BADASS!!! You did it! Awesome! Unfortunately everybody has to make a save to keep from getting knocked down or even crushed all over again ... CRAP!!!

The Tower's collapsing? Oh man ... is that good or bad? Can Keyleth find the Ball? YES!!! There it is! GO KIKI GO!!! Get it! Quick! Oh wait ... it's CRACKING?!!! Yes! Get it quick!

Strength check, then ... roll well, Marisha! PLEASE!!! O.O 18? Is that good enough?

The sphere shatters ... a cluster of black shadow ... mist ... it's forming into something ... VAX!!! VAXILDAN LIVES!!! Sort of! Yes! And he's got the mini out and everything! Yes!

Liam is ROLLING FOR VAX!!! OH MY FUCKING GODS!!! He's battered to fuck from the strain and all this damage but he's STILL IN IT!!! That is ONE HELL of an Initiative roll, he's SECOND ON THE ROSTER!!! Unbelievable ... O.O

Scrag is still under the Command to attack whatever's on its back ... shit ... oh, okay ... it's going for Ozo instead? Thank fuck ... yeah, now Trinket's just having a ride instead! XD ... it rains down a metric shitton of damage on Ozo ... and he just TAKES IT ... yeah, that can't be good ... and he's STILL UP ... unbelievable ...

Lieve'tel has the Beacon ... and she's now being INFLUENCED BY IT ... crap! Roll good to shake THAT SHIT off, Liam! She makes her way best she can for Vex ... oh, okay ... she burs her NINTH LEVEL Mass Heal ... 700 hit points overall? HOLY SHIT ... well that's Vax back to full strength, then Vex too ... and everybody else in range ... FUCKING BEAUTIFUL ... YES!!!

Dampen Divinity? You fuckers ... only HALF the points, then? Hmmmmm ... it's still great, though ... fucking BEAUTIFUL save, goth dominatrix elf girl!

The remaining Shrike rushes Grog ... that's some damage, but with his Rage he's just shrugging it right off ... Grog just batters him right back and he's wobbling punch-drunk now ... Grog: "Run ..." He just walks right past him to give the Shrike an attack of opportunity, which he just shrugs right off ... yeah, he's just going STRAIGHT for Ozo ...

Reckless Rage? Oh here we fucking GO!!! He just UNLEASHES on the Juggernaut ... those are some INSANE hits, this is gonna be EPIC ... O.O ... fucking hell that's a lot of dice rolling right now ... oh yeah, he doesn't even FINISH before Matt says: "How do you wanna do this?" He just ENDS Ozo ... and turns him into a meat puppet ... fucking beautiful ... in a really twisted way ...

Both the remaining monsters start SCREECHING in fury at the death of their master ... crap ... this looks like it's going to be REALLY BAD ...

Scanlan fires a bolt of Lightning at the floaty guy ... okay ... yeah, he just DISINTEGRATES that one ... so he tries another Command on Scrag, hoping he can turn it on the worm ...

Vorak the worm lunges for Pike ... yeah, 24 hits ... crap ... she can shrug off the damage, at least, but can she beat the grapple? Oh balls ... yeah, she's in its mouth ... FUCK!!! Now it's shooting spines in all directions ...

Cerkonos swipes at the Shrike with his flaming hand and just ENDS HIM at last ... meanwhile ... oh gods, he is SUCH A NERD I love it ... s he bamfs himself right in front of the worm and ... oh, y'know what? As far as Vicious Mockery goes that's actually really good ... yeah, he's now set it on fire AND is now siccing his birds on it too ... and finally bamfs INSIDE the worm and starts fighting it from within too ... oh wow ...

War God's Blessing? Oh, nice boost there, Pikey!

Pike ... is currently being burned with acid! Shit! She Inflicts a SEVENTH LEVEL Inflict Wounds from within its throat ... oh, this is gonna be sweet ... NINE D10 of damage? Fucking hell this IS gonna be sweet ... O.O ... 42 points of damage? Spectacular ... yeah, it TOTALLY spits her right back out again. Grog catches her ... and they're BOTH splashed with more acid spit ...

One remaining Thought Eater ... tries to summon the Weavemind? Crap ... to Scanlan just Counterspells at Level 6 ... O.O ... oh NICE!!! YES!!! Scanlan just looks it dead in the eye ... and takes a dump. Like punctuation. XD

The remaining Vanguard troopers attack Vax ... who just shrugs it off ... they try to retreat ... and he just cuts right back at them. Oh yeah, THAT ONE'S gonna get FUCKED UP ...

Percy climbs as high as he can before taking aim at Vex' would-be attackers ... damn it ... fucking psychic shields ... Secon Wind for Bonus? Okay ... oof ... yeah, Tal just rolled BALLS this round ... nuts ...

Vax has clearly lost NONE of his spectacular skill since he got locked away ... yeah, he's just CARVING THESE GUYS TO PIECES ... I love it ... and yes now he has extra SMITE!!! Nice ... and that's a HDYWTDT on the Thought Eater! Yes! He's back, baby!

Family reunion, and his lady love once more ... oh, that's so sweet ...

Vex takes a moment to welcome him back ... then flies off to approach the monsters. She paints a Hunter's Mark on the worm, then shoots ... hmmmm ... not the BEST rolls ... but it's better than nothing ... she shoots again ... a Residuum arrow this time? Oh, this should be interesting ... with Sharpshooter ... and AGAIN it looks like she's rolling balls ... but she STILL gets the HDYWTDT! Thank fuck ... okay,k so now it's got a TREE growing out the back of its head, while Cerkonos pours a Lightning Bolt into it, splitting the trunk in two and killing the worm in the process ...

Oh yeah ... Scanlan, totally, send it to just kill as many vanguard as possible ... or just set it free in the desert? Oh wow ... it's TRYING TO BOND WITH HIM right now ... that's so fucking weird ...

Vex just sucks it into her locket ... yeah, that's probably for the best. Phew ... thank fuck ...

Is that it? Did we win?

The twins are FINALLY REUNITED ... oh my gods this is amazing ...

So ... he's STILL tethered to the Matron? Bugger ... but it wasn't exactly unexpected ... how long does he have with them, then?

Oh okay ... the reinforcements have arrived? That's it then ... the battle's over, then. They did it.

Issylra? What's that about?

Please just let him stay ... just give him a little time ... he's fought so hard, he deserves a little something ... just the tiniest little respite ...

The Matron: "The night is yours." Okay ... is that ... just THIS night, or something more?

Hold his hand Kiki ... you don't know how long you might have for this, take it while you can ...

Rest. Yes. One day, that's good. Take it a day at a time.

So this is a finite thing, then. They have one brief moment of respite, they should make the most of it while they can.

Meanwhile Grog's just having fun mopping up what's left of the resistance ... yeah, that's about right ...

To Whitestone? Yeah. Go. Now.

Yes. Let Vex meet his nieces and nephews while he can.

Oh, they're using the split tree in the worm's head to step through? That's ballsy. And kind of irreverent too. I love it.

That's it for Vox Machina, then. Next time it's back to the Moon. For Bells Hells and the Mighty Nein ... next time round. Is it Thursday yet?

[firthbetterorfirthworse]

Colin Firth (Part 2 - THE DATA)

You can read my intro here.

When I ran the data, Colin Firth had 90 acting credits on IMDB (in 40 years! The man's been busy!)

I wanted to set some parameters, so I excluded anything where the overall project was under an hour of runtime.

(DVD bonus content, short films, one off TV episodes. You'll notice Crown Court is over an hour, but as a one off TV episode, I excluded it as well. PS it was his first onscreen appearance, as a baby face cop)

I also excluded anything where he has <5 minutes of screentime.

(The record might be the 1987 Secret Garden, where he's got about 90 seconds. Honestly forgot I was watching a Colin Firth film until he showed up right before the credits)

I also excluded this

because dear god, no thank you I didn't want to watch that shit (I'm only partially kidding. I'd watched literally everything else so I watched this one too, it wasn't that bad)

This left us with a very respectable 76 films that I tracked data for!

SMOKING

The highest percentage of what I tracked was whether he smoked.

(sidenote, check out that 10 year period where he had TWENTY FOUR PROJECTS)

I assume this is common for anyone who made films in the 80s or 90s, when smoking onscreen was more prevalent. Out of curiosity I broke it up by when the film was set, because he does a lot of period pieces, and found that yes! Things do taper off as the public perception of smoking changed.

(I was very broad with what I considered a "period piece", mostly because I didn't start making this powerpoint until 10pm the night before I presented, because that's who I am as a person) The numbers didn't show for actual movies, but in the 2000s there were only 2 movies where he smoked, out of the 19 that he filmed. Probably because it shifted to instead of everyone or cool kids, only villains and bad guys smoke.

INFIDELITY

I also tracked infidelity, separating out whether his partner was unfaithful to him, or whether he was the one to be unfaithful or help a committed person be unfaithful.

These percentages are of all his movies. He gets cheated on 15.8% of the time, poor guy.

GRIEF

Did you know that in a quarter of his projects, he explores grief?

I determined that there were two main types of grief - the death of an intimate (mostly a partner, occasionally a family member), and wartime PTSD.

But that's not what you're here for. I know you. You wanna see how often he got

WET

THIRTY PERCENT. That is almost every third project!

I separated it out where the water goes on him (rain, shower, fountain, fire hose) or where he goes in the water (ocean, pond, lake, bath). A Single Man is special, because there's a scene where he's in the rain, and a scene where he's in the ocean (and in the credits, he's floating nude underwater, just saying).

That seems like a lot! I don't have any comparison data (yet, waiting for my brain to embark on another unhinged project) but that seems like more than other people.

I have one more point to share with y'all

[yosajaeofficial]

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER UPDATE

Heya everybody! We’re back for a double episode of, “The Monthly Jayce Myles Comics Updates”! The reason why August wasn’t fulfilled like normal was due to college and how busy I immediately got when entering in, which is what I figured would happen so I’m not too surprised with it to be honest. I took some time in order for me to make a fulfilling update instead of doing a rushed one to pump out yk? We’re now gonna get to the updates and bonus content I’m gonna show.

Buckle your seat belts, close your eyes and take your hands off the wheel cuz this is gonna be a ride~

THE COMIC

(OFFICIAL W.I.P: PAGES 28 & 31)

The comic’s gotten slower due to college, however, I really needed a break from it in general so I could prioritize my personal life and also refresh myself on drawing what I want to instead of rushing my age physically and turn 78 years old when I haven’t even reached 20 yet. Nothing much to say but showing the w.i.ps because of the slower progress, it’s getting there though. We got to 30 pages! Which means that the first section is sketched out (calculated to be approximately a fourth of the full chapter done, it could go lower or higher in the numbers depending on what I want/vision). I’m hella proud for getting 30 of them pages done honestly. A huge accomplishment for doing this story for a long while.

Ya’ll don’t really know, but I am indeed changing things here and there about the story where I’m shifting small details, doing redesigns, and reboots with other small things overall. I would be honest and say that’s where I’m progressing the most and not the debut chapter, I’m able to have a clearer vision of the story in my head and on paper when doing future chapters yk? I won’t go into details about redesigns or those details being changed since they’re hella spoilerish and a bit unnecessary considering that the JMC hasn’t even debuted yet. Ya’ll will get those details later when the comic functions and I will reveal more in future updates!

Also, last month Jae, no you haven’t drawn the turtles yet. However, we’re close to their debut for the chapter so keep strong! You’re doing great! :3

BONUS CONTENT: Jayce Myles Over The Years

Many of you know that Jayce Myles, whose name is in the title of the series, is our protagonist for this ROTTMNT comic! She’s my OC that I’ve had when going through my senior year of high school. We’re gonna be getting into a deep dive with her as a character and how their designs came to be during the process!

This is the first ever drawing of Jayce that I’ve done, the day I made it is so vivid in my head because I was going through it… I was in my Pre Calculus class and I had failed another test after multiple attempts through the school year. My initial idea was to cry (which I did) but then I just started doodling on my phone and I created this drawing, then from there it was history. This was in 2022, not too long ago. I became a Rise fan a couple weeks after the movie came out (which I didn’t know at the time, it was a pure coincidence) and I wanted to create a Rise OC for a while. So that day in Pre-Calc, I was able to take advantage of my mathematical suffering and create my magnum opus (exaggerated). She didn't have a name at the time so it was actually a stand in for me. Jayce got their full name until a couple days later.

EVOLUTION OF JAYCE MYLES

(October 2022- February 2024)

As you all can see, Jayce did indeed have lots of designs and ideas being sketched out while I created her as my official Rise OC. I had ideas for them to have an androgynous look from the start based off of my own self! I knew they were gonna have a Rise comic, but there were ideas for them to originally come from the 2012 TMNT universe with their "serious demeanor". It was quite interesting but there isn't much media of those ideas since they were cut a bit early on.

(Older Renders of Jayce from 2022)

Their signature color looked like it was gonna be this denim blue for quite a while but then I scrapped it cuz I thought it wasn't showing their personality like how I want it to. There was also another scrapped concept where Jayce's demeanor would be more monotone and "soft" (as in a blank slate, which doesn't give her a true personality). It was cut because it made me think that I wasn't giving her the best potential as the protagonist then I should've been giving them. Jayce was more introverted and quiet, but now they're much more expressive and full of personality. Ya'll will see in a more better light when the comic debuts, I'm not holding back with Jayce's personality anymore.

("Issue 1: Graffiti" Panels from page 1. The only page that was completed until the plot got scrapped.)

There were lots of pitches and concepts for the JMC over the years too, where lots of storyboards got drafted and one of the first of those drafts got their first page completed. However, I'm pulled a Richard Williams and kept being like "No, I don't like this" and kept going back to the drawing board. I like to look back on these old drafts especially after seeing the older interactions and how different they're gonna be in the official comics. I for sure was learning over 2023 and 2024...

Now finally, we're gonna touch on the last thing for this update~

JMC'S FINALIZED PILOT (ADDITIONAL CHARACTER)

We are going to talk just a teeny bit about the debut chapter but I'm able to become vague without spoiling too much since lots of the older pitches were scrapped. But yes, this was when I came up with the idea, "What if Jayce had a job?"

That's where the idea of Jayce working at a deli joint came from. Where she would have to get a 9-5 and possibly fired, it was pretty funny when doing the drafts since I never knew how a real deli worked and my dumbass just used my mom's experience at Denny's as referenced (she walked out and quit after almost a year).

Thus, our pilot was born.

You can go read a non canon comic I did that touched on this concept when it was fresh in development right here! [Jayce and Mikey Phone Call] & [Splinter/Randall and Jayce Interaction]

The shop itself was based off of a friend's film back in junior year. He made a FNAF parody called, "Five Nights At Fernando's" and it was such a stupid assignment but that gave me the idea of making use of the dumbass "Fernando's Shop" and make it a reality. So then Fernando's Taco Shop was created and we had the shop Jayce worked at. We already talked a bit about Archie and his deal in the first JMC Monthly Update and I can't say anymore due to spoilers but he was also involved of the creation of the pilot.

The older pitches had a cashier or a manager be like some NPC ahh character that never was gonna be brought up ever again but something in me thought it would be a cute idea to create an actual character for this manager that wasn't a stupid bossy ass hoe. It was very sweet in the drafts so I thought I could create more with that concept in mind.

Introducing: Rogelio Andazola!

(Rogelio Andazola Evolution: 2022-2023 | Still Not Showing The Finalized.)

His design is one that is the most consistent when compared to the rest of the roster, I guess that I hit the nail with his because I couldn't imagine him any different. There are only minor changes like his gray strands disappearing (bro reverse aged) and his facial expressions are much more expressive after I played around during the soft reboot. Once again (and as annoying as it is), you will all see where I'm coming from when the debut chapter releases! Rogelio as a character has also altered his personality, he's based off of my grandpa, can't wait to show you how that comes into play in the story!

Thank you all so much for sticking around for this very heavy update! I worked way too much for the photos to be sent on here and dug up lots of my old art in order for this to become a reality! It was actually insane that I kept lots of it instead of making it turn into lost media, I'm happy I got to show lots of it instead of having to make it the fuck up by memory (which I wouldn't have done in the first place and is an exaggeration). The comic is slaying in the runway and I'm working on it here and there at my own pace. Maybe next time I can finally show ya'll the turtles in the next W.I.P in the comic section. Have an amazing day/night everyone and we're on the way to victory!

[qoldenskies]

i genuinely adore the way that anatawa hitorijanai/the third part of the finale brings back the little motif with leo falling and raph jumping to save him in bug busters because it was such an important moment that really propelled raph along in his own abilities (although i personally interpret mystic powers as being more related to the individual and their emotions, while ninpo is more about. yknow. the family and their trust with each other since its hereditary, i see it as separate. post for later) but i always find it SO WEIRD that it's treated as like. a trust fall. because leo falling was not a trust fall. it was the opposite, actually.

is it representative of raph putting himself aside for the sake of his family? oh yeah. i do believe its a point that marks a turning point in the way he perceives the role of the oldest and leader, which is why i like the parallel because he puts the same into his younger brothers' hands. but was it really an act of trust? hell no! raph spent the entire episode NOT TRUSTING LEO. they were put in that exact position because raph cared a lot about being right just as much as leo did, and draxum dropped leo because raph didn't listen to him!!

leo pushed and bitched and begged pretty much that entire episode to be listened to, and raph never truly gave him the floor because he was expecting him from the get-go to be cynical and selfish. and even though leo can be those things at times, it didnt mean he wasnt a voice worth not listening to. and that did nearly get him killed! joke aside, leo shouting about his last words meant he really, really did not actually expect raph to do something like that, and raph jumped in a blind, panicked act of desperation for leo's sake. i think learning he SHOULD trust him from that point was something that should've been clarified, or they should've left the parallel more implicit tbh.

but you know what IS an excellent parallel to bug busters? the movie! their roles are reversed! raph has well learned the importance of taking things seriously and is loudly pushing for caution, and leo is pushing him away and shrugging it off like he's just being too pessimistic, its pretty much a HERE COMES THE FUN POLICE WEEWOO. which i think is like, the equivalent to raph's "she's a nice spider lady, why are you being so negative, do you just want to prove me wrong? you're up to something"

and i think a big reason raph is so loud about the lesson he's trying to pound into leo's skull is because of the exact lesson he learned in bug busters, because he definitely does actually see a lot of himself in leo (i do love when people play around with raph going "oh god did i teach him that" about some of leo's more self-destructive behavior btw, that's good A team angst) and i dont think he wants leadership back at all. he's perfectly fine with splitting the load, because they already have been The Big Brothers from the start and leo's been his second in command and cheerleader a lot before. but leo in his eyes is being vindictive and refusing to take this seriously, and i'm sure for raph it hits a little close to home! projection moment

this was honestly just me trying to say that i think the perfect leo/raph roof moment parallel should be their fight when raph is krang-ified, leo telling raph to go save donnie and mikey, and then him leaping into the prison dimension, just like raph leapt for him, because there was no other choice in order to save lives. it's the exact same type of move, bonus points with how leo points it out, "hero moves are your style".

(also potential parallel if you choose to interpret raph's tears as he jumps off the roof as overwhelming guilt because he suddenly realizes that his own choices brought them to this point, because like.... leo crying in the prison dimension..... same thing)

point is, love the raph trust fall in the third part of the finale. but i think the point of him catching leo was that he didn't trust him, and i think it wouldve been better to the finale trust fall more about how he's grown from the behavior that put them there back in bug busters.

OH AND AND AND this is compounded in by the B team moment RIGHT AFTER THAT with donnie and mikey, because that is an ACTUAL example of two brothers that genuinely, earnestly trust each other. donnie tells mikey to let go intentionally and mikey doesn't hesitate, because he knows donnie will always be there to catch him and he trusts him wholeheartedly. the difference is jarring and most likely intentional.

[aihoshiino]

Now that the series is ending and we'll never hear a word from Hikaru ever again, I'm very curious to know what Aka would say to describe Hikai's entire dynamics like towards each other, feelings, thoughts etc...even from Takahashi I'd like to know what Aka specifically told her for that one payphone scene.

I know we all already have figured it out (using whatever brainpower left after this shit storm that the latest chapters have brought) and tried to stitch together a cohesive outline(?) to everything hikai related, but hearing the official people speaking on it always adds a nice bonus to everything.

Any thoughts on this? Do you think everything we mostly came up with upto now are all correct and Aka had the same ideas back then? (I say back then because clearly idk tf he did to Hikaru in the recent chapters, Onk ended back at 155 for me.)

Honestly I'm so keen to know how Akasaka described the HKAI dynamic to Takahashi but also just kind of wtf he said to her in general? I'm not sure when she would have been doing her recording for episode 1 but it would have been around the same general timeframe we were getting the first Hikaru lore drops and appearances in the manga, so Akasaka would've at least had a broad idea of who he was supposed to be as a character... But at the same time, the Kamiki we get is SO inconsistent on the page, I think I'm kind of just desperate for some confirmation of wtf even the authorial intent was in that regard because I can't make head or tails of where it all ended up.

I do think for HKAI's dynamic specifically he had a pretty clear image in his mind, though, because a lot of what the fandom predicted and how he was broadly characterized even prior to the Movie Arc getting into the specifics was pretty on point for what ended up being in the manga. Obviously some of the granular details were off, but his deification of Ai, his sense of longing towards her even after her death, the idea that he was trying to preserve her legacy and that the relationship they had was probably extremely codependent were all takes that the fandom largely agreed with on both sides of the language barrier, at least in the spaces I was in.

I do also remember specifically predicting that they broke up over the pregnancy which I still feel quite proud of calling LOL. I remember getting really in my head about it when the Movie Arc was ongoing because the chronology got so penised so having that concretely confirmed and WHY it caused their breakup was nice to chew on during that stretch.

I think the only thing we were wrong about is that the fandom tended to make him a little more, like... proactively possessive/yandere for her and that her death had been a sort of "if I can't have you, I have to kill you" vibe. But the Kamiki we actually got comes across as way more fragile and hollow and even passive in a way I think is really fascinating.

That said. I DO really like yandere freak Kamiki and I'm so glad people still draw it in fandom. Every time someone posts HKAI fanart where Kamiki is looking at her with a facial expression that is at the exact midpoint of "brainmeltingly horny" and "ravenously hungry" my HP gets maxed out <3

[cellarspider]

14/30 Gnosis, and lack thereof

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We return to the movie that could’ve been a contender, Prometheus. In this episode, a two-year-old poisons a man.

I’m not alone in thinking David is the most well-realized character in this movie. Michael Fassbender was given the most space to act through expression and reaction to others and his environment, which helps create an android character that has much more inner life than his human castmates. He also gets what I’d call the Data bonus: android characters can more easily get away with screamingly clunky exposition or explicitly stating the meaning of a scene. You can give them absolute gibberish if you want to, and it sounds perfectly logical when they say it.

[Video description: A small selection of technobabble from Star Trek: The Next Generation, mostly featuring Data.]

David is also the easiest to be sympathetic to, because people keep being assholes to him.

Yes, David has received mysterious orders from a mysterious man who’s still in stasis. It’s Peter Weyland. It’s obviously Peter Weyland, this is why David has the dream-reading helmet thing that felt so out of place at the start of the movie. This is also why Guy Pierce, a 45-year-old, was hired to play an infinity-year-old man. Weyland was going to appear as his ideal self in one of these dream sequences, but it was cut from the movie. So instead, we just have Vickers demanding to know what “he” wants, and the answer is “Try harder”.

Peter Weyland, beginning a trend for the company bearing his name, has an obsession with this alien stuff. …This trend was actually begun by Charles Bishop Weyland in a completely different continuity that also featured ancient alien contact with Earth, but hey, details. This Weyland wants results, damn it, and David gets an excuse to kill one of the crew.

Although it’s not quite that simple. The movie indicates that David can’t go against orders from the company, especially from Weyland. He has to “try harder”, and he’s brought back one of those alien urns that apparently nobody cares to examine but him. 

It’s got a goth lava lamp in it.

While we don’t get much indication David knows why this stuff is dangerous to organic life, I’ll give the movie a very tiny pass: it’s implied that David has figured out how to read the Engineer’s cuneiform script. He decants a droplet of Menacing Black Goo onto his (Weyland-branded) fingertip, and sets off to find a test subject.

Thank god, he chooses Holloway.

I don’t like not liking characters. I don’t generally anticipate seeing someone’s comeuppance, but this movie gets me damn close to that feeling. In the movie’s partial defense, some of this was probably intended. Mainstream American fiction sets a high bar for what a bigot looks like, and Holloway’s been clearing that. I’m less certain the movie knows everyone’s behaving like a bigot, but we’ll get to that eventually. But Holloway? Definitely. 

This creates a fairly interesting scene. One that even reaches towards good. David has the means to kill Holloway. The audience knows this. And we get to watch when he makes the decision to commit to it, and why. And, blessedly, it actually ties into an intentional theme of this movie.

Holloway’s still drunk and miserable–he’d previously muttered that the alien structure on the planet was “just another tomb.”

I, speaking hyperbolically, would consider that grounds enough to off him. He’s an archaeologist who can be sent into a drinking binge by finding a thing made by dead people. An archaeologist. That in itself is such a ridiculous indicator of how unfit this character is for his role.

But no, he wanted to meet his maker, “To get answers.” Sure, lots of people have existential questions they feel are important to them. That is understandable. Even clueless assholes can wonder about that. But it takes an especially hubristic asshole to decide they’re the one worthy of asking someone who might have the answer. 

Did anybody notice they didn’t bring any diplomats or orators on this trip? They didn’t bring any cultural exchange gifts with them when they approached the alien structure? They weren’t treating the Engineers as people, just something to discover.

David, someone else they’re not treating like people, asks Holloway “Why do you think your people made me?”, and the answer he gets is “Because we could.” David is quietly but openly disappointed in that.

This is the whiplash of this movie. We have the biggest bunch of shambolic assholes klutzing around, waiting to get killed off by the plot, and then we have David expressing the horror of Valentinian gnosticism.

In brief, because even the wikipedia page says “The theology [...] is extremely complicated and difficult to follow”, the strain of Christian gnosticism expressed by the 2nd century theologian Valentinus believes that the world was created by an ignorant being. They believed there was a benevolent god out there which was/produced Jesus, but the “demiurge” (lit. “craftsman”) who created the world was not this deity. The demiurge was an imperfect, lesser being, that believed itself to be the supreme god of the universe. In Valentinianism, as with other gnostic schools, to be born into the world was to be trapped within a creation of a creature that was prone to fits of abusive behavior.

Gnostic christianity was, at the time, an attempt to square a number of contradictory ideas: the incredibly influential ideas of Plato on the formation of the universe, the growing theology of the new Christian movement, and the examples of divine wrath and jealousy in Jewish scripture, that were hard to square with what early Christians saw as a less violent deity they wanted to worship. There were probably also some anti-Jewish Egyptian myths thrown in as well, depicting their god as a donkey-headed incarnation of the malevolent deity Set. Some may recognize that particular slander from its deployment against early Christians, including our first-ever depiction of Jesus’ crucifixion: a rude bit of graffiti.

In our time, there’s only one remaining gnostic (non-christian) religion with direct continuity to the period, the Mandaeans. Christian gnosticism was deemed heretical, when one of the many different gospels circulating at the time was selected as orthodox in the 4th century, along with an attendant theology. But it remains a fertile ground for philosophers, fiction-writers, and every once in a while someone reinvents bits of it when they hit upon contradictions in christian thought.

The latter seems to be the case with Ridley Scott. He’s sometimes described as an atheist, but his actual statements on the matter show he’s either casually gnostic or a deist, very much influenced by christian doctrine: 

“If we looked at the whole thing practically speaking, the Big Bang occurred and then we go through this evolution of millions, billions of years where, by coincidence, all the right biological accidents came out the right way. To an extent, that doesn't make sense unless there was a controlling decider or mediator in all of that. So who was that? Or what was that? Are we one big grand experiment in the basic overall blink of the universe, or the galaxy? In which case, who is behind it?”

https://www.bbc.co.uk/films/callingtheshots/ridley_scott.shtml

Tangent: that question came right after he’s quoted as saying “I think there's no originality [in modern films]. I think everyone is stealing from everyone else and going back to the originals. I usually go in for 20 minutes and then get up and leave.” This interview was back in 2006. The next year he’d direct American Gangster (loosely based on a biography), then Body of Lies (Roger Ebert called it "a James Bond plot"), then Robin Hood (it’s Robin Hood), then Prometheus, the movie I only watched because it seemed to be in dialog with a film he directed in 1979. Buddy, if that was your problem, you were part of the problem.

But anyway. We have a director who had stated interest in a christian-influenced cosmogony: he seems to state a belief that we exist because we are supposed to exist, rather than being a random event. This is a movie where he does seem to be trying to do something with that. He is beginning with that premise, and using Alien as the shared language to express it. He doesn’t know why we exist, but he can imagine why we would make someone exist.

Placing that in amongst these characters is bleak to the point of puerility, frankly. Why would we create a being like us? Well, this one asshole doesn’t know.

David, at this point in Prometheus, has already determined that humans are fallible creators. Hell, he’s decided the Engineers were also failable. He, y’know, witnessed how gooey one of their corpses was. But he’s yet to decide on whether humans are just ignorant, trying and failing to be good–as per Valentinus–or if they’re actively malevolent.

The fact that David doesn’t poison Holloway’s drink until just before handing it over does neatly show that he was quietly given a chance to answer that question. Holloway continues to be a jackass and, when asked what he’d do to answer the existential question he wanted to pose to the Engineers, he says he’d do “anything and everything”.

The movie eventually treats Peter Weyland as especially deluded in his self-serving quest to get the Engineers to answer his more selfish questions, but I don’t think his ego was unique in this movie.

On our journey into the movie this time, Prometheus has attempted to grapple with subjects its script hasn’t earned. Next time, it incorporates imagery it hasn’t earned. It’s worse than this scene, but in a far more subtle way.

If you want a neat look on european and middle eastern mysticism from an academic standpoint, Esoterica is a pretty damn good channel, put together by a self-described “dialectical materialist in the tradition of Structural Marxism”. I’ll happily take recommendations on other academic sources aimed at the general audience.

https://youtu.be/7EwRD6SzXws

https://st-takla.org/Feastes-&-Special-Events/Coptic-Nativity-of-Jesus-Christ-Milad-El-Masih/Coptic-Jesus-Incarnation-Christmas-03-Incarnation-of-the-Word-Book.html 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masbuta 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drabsha 

https://www.deviantart.com/pretty--kittie/art/Prometheus-Engineer-407322241 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archon_(Gnosticism) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sethianism

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