#but i want cartoon villainy damn it

[vagueiish]

durge playthrough but make it handsome jack from borderlands

[goron-king-darunia]

Hypothetical Eggwoman. I love that character

Honestly, a gender-bent Eggman would be such an interesting concept to have explored. There's fanart of it floating around and some of these "Eggma'am" fanarts are damn-near close to official art quality. A disappointing amount of them turn her into a waifish giant-bazonga slay queen. Which, while valid, isn't quite the angle I would go for. The reason Eggman is shaped the way he is was originally a dig at Nintendo's mascot, Mario. So if you're going to make her a waifish tiddy goddess instead of a chunky middle-aged spinster, she should look like Princess Peach, right? That said, I'd love to see Sega put out official concept art for it or explore the idea in more detail. I support womens' wrongs after all.

In the meantime, I think my favorite genderbent Eggman design is this one by Snowflake-owl on Deviantart because they actually had the guts to keep most of Eggman's features and make a design consistent with the Sonic X art style.

And while I think that not much about the personality or motives would change with a gender-swap or genderbend, a female Dr. Robotnik/Eggma'am/Eggwoman would probably have a lot more of an active feminist stance because, like, women in STEM fields being taken seriously was a huge point in feminist rhetoric. Women were the first computer scientists before computers became toys they could market to boys, and then suddenly wanting to code or engineer was a man's hobby. So how would she have had to navigate a world that looks down on her? Canon Eggman may be a bumbling idiot (he kind of has to be for the slapstick status-quo based buffoonery and cartoon logic) but canon Eggman is still considered a threat. Would that perception change if she was a woman? It's interesting to think about but it also treads dangerously close to the trope where the supervillainess justifies her villainy because she's had to endure sexism and then it becomes her whole flanderized one-dimensional personality. Still. Fun to think about.

[avelera]

“Ted Lasso” critical opinion here, but while I still enjoy the show and make time to watch it within a day of it coming out, they’re so conflict-shy about having anyone be the central villain, or even the central antagonist of an episode, that the whole plot has gone to mush.

(Now just to be clear, I’m criticizing the show’s dramatic structure, not the relative merits of the characters or their individual stories. That’s subjective and people love their favorites and that’s fine. But the show, right now in Season 3 as of episode 8, has no villain or central antagonist and thus no plot other than a vague ambling towards the direction of the final game.)

Rebecca was a stellar villain in Season 1. Her having a redemption arc and a sympathetic backstory doesn’t make her any less structurally the villain. Her role as the villain glued the season together, it offered a powerful focusing factor to the arc and it gave someone for Ted Lasso as our protagonist to face off against, even if he didn’t always know it. As the villain she was the gravity that pulled the story together.

Though it is much panned by many writers, the fact is, having a hero, villain, and a love interest with a central plot of the hero keeping the villain from getting what they want (and an emotional B plot of everyone getting what they need even if it wasn’t what they wanted at the start) is a really strong central story that propels a narrative. Combining villain and love interest is possible and also compelling but notice, whenever Rebecca was in the role of love interest in Season 1, Rupert was brought in to pick up the villain slack. Rupert’s presence kept a villain in the picture to propel the story when Rebecca was busy in that other role.

Now, Rupert has had some walk on moments of villainy in S2 and S3 since then, but besides those moments… who the fuck is our villain in season 3? Who is the plot arrayed against? What is our hero, presumably still Ted, trying to achieve? What does Ted want? Honestly, what does anyone want at this point that they’re taking material steps to achieve and that is being kept from them by a villain or antagonist of some sort? What is this plot about other than Richmond maybe stumbling its way into a championship by the end?

The lesson of Rebecca being so beautifully humanized at the end of S1 and getting that wake-up call from Higgins to stop acting like a cartoon villain and realize everyone here is human was a fantastic story beat. But the lesson from it wasn’t that there shouldn’t ever be a villain. Rebecca having a redemptive moment of realizing she’s been an ass to everyone who actually cares about her, that she’s sacrificing her present to get revenge for her past, is still absolutely beat for beat a standard part of a villain arc. She’s still a villain even if she gets redeemed at the end. S1 had a strong central story of hero vs villain as a result and the humanity of the characters in an otherwise cartoonish plot was what elevated the story to critical acclaim.

Now… everyone is just too damn humanized. And the thing is, you can still humanize people and have them be antagonists, or even outright villains! You can have story conflict that isn’t a huge angry fight, it’s just different people who want different things that are in conflict with what the other person wants and prevents them from getting it. It’s actually a completely natural set up for “Ted Lasso” because it’s a sports story for goodness sake. Everyone wants to win! Everyone has a good reason to win that’s just as valid as anyone else’s. Everyone is working hard to win the trophy and has their own reasons to deserve it, and that puts good people in conflict with one another.

But no one is the villain in Season 3, or even a consistent antagonist taking material steps to stop the hero from getting what he or she wants. Not even Nate, who was perfectly set up to be the dark mirror to Ted this season, with a cold, severe coaching style based on a lifelong understanding of the game, but with no social skills to balance it. A true head to head of the Lasso method vs the method of his protege, the man he gave a chance to shine when no one else did. (Don’t even get me started on the dropped potential for a plotline that takes into account Nate’s age and the racism he undoubtedly felt in his career to still be a kit man at his age, a role that was next taken by a white teenage boy, and despite the skill he’s shown as a coach the minute he was given a chance. Where did all of that go? Nate had legitimate grievances of being overlooked and then achieving his dream despite this and being good at it, but I digress.)

Maybe we’re being set up for a banger finale, a few hours of really tightly plotted story that brings this all together, and we’re just killing time until we get there. I certainly hope so. Because story tropes exist for a reason. Keeley and Roy and Jamie’s love triangle story in S1 was a standard romance trope but it was well applied and that made it work. Ted vs Rebecca is a trope right out of Air Bud, for goodness sake, but it worked because it was well applied.

There’s no tropes happening right now in S3. There’s no plot. There’s no villain. There’s nothing for this story to coalesce around. Maybe it’ll all come together for a banger finale but man… man, I really hope it does.

[styrmwb]

I beat Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail (for now)

Just in case my tags didn't work there's spoilers here don't read if that scares you!!!

Critically acclaimed MMO returns! I took a break from the game for a good while due to burnout, but I've been looking forward to this expansion release since I heard the first trailer theme. While I might not be super into the MMO gameplay right now, XIV has always captured my heart with the story and the "first-time" experience. Not to mention, being an FF fan who's played all the mainline games, XIV's theme park setting is really fun for me to point and be like "yoooo that's from this game!!!!" Dawntrail was no different in this regard.

Obviously, since this is an MMO expansion, I know more stuff is gonna be released later down the line. This is just me writing for the base experience available on release day. I'm also gonna format this a little different than I usually do.

The Good Parts

Characters

I really did love everyone this expansion. When it comes to people we already knew, I loved how Krile and Erenville got more of a spotlight. Krile I feel has always been a sort of... There scion, which makes me sad (I also never finished Eureka so that's on me!), so it made me happy to have here there the whole time. I thought her story arc was really cool, and I was astounded, being all like "holy shit she's from another reflection???? what???????". I was skeptical on Erenville being a main character at first, cause he didn't really grasp me in Endwalker, but that quickly went away here in Dawntrail. I liked his sane man bit, and his arc in the latter half of the story with his home and mother really hit me hard (and I mean HARD.)

New people!

Wuk Lamat is our main character this time, and I really did love her from the moment I saw her. It was really nice to see a more silly character in the beach episode expansion, and I'm a sucker for the person who's power is heart, rather than anything else.

Gulool Ja Ja is the second person who really caught me. This man is a friendly loving mexican grandpa, and the game continued to show that he was like, the best dude ever (which is really funny considering his name! (this joke will be clearer later)). I want him to be MY dad, I swear. Unfortunately, nobody that cool and awesome can stay around, which makes me really sad.

Koana was unexpectedly great, and I can always relate to a loving brother.

Bakool Ja Ja was SUCH an unexpected role; I loved his initial cartoon villainy, but then for him to turn around to be something greater, and knowing his struggle, was really entertaining.

I HATE Zoraal Ja (in a good way), and the entire second half I wanted nothing more than to destroy him.

Sphene was interesting. I couldn't ever place what she was at any point in her story, but I did overall think she was a really cool character for the story. I felt for her.

Gulool Ja is a precious child who has done no wrong and I want the lizard baby to smile forever. He didn't deserve ANY of this.

Those are all of the major characters I think deserve individual talking points, but everyone else was really great in some way. I loved the Hanuhanu a lot more than I thought, especially considering that I didn't care much for the Vanu; Wuk Evu's stupid bit of freaking out then Immediately being fine always tickled me; The Yok Tuy were super cool, I loved their culture and role in the lore; Ketenramm was such an unexpected surprise, and since my character is also a Sea Wolf I get excited whenever one becomes plot relevant. Otis is Steiner, and we love him for that. Finally, I loved the unique energy Cahciua brought to the table, and she CRUSHED me at the end.

Gameplay

God damn! They showed up this time for real! All of the big fights felt like they were really bringing their all for mechanics; they felt harder than usual, and I felt invested in each fight rather than feeling like I was running the motions again. I'm very very excited to see what the future raids are going to look like, if the base dungeons and trials are any sign.

Story

Getting brought to a new place, and having the core of the story being "learn about new cultures" I thought was really cool, and very befitting of a "cool down after saving the world" expansion. I really loved the contest (or Amazing Race as a friend of mine put it) style of the Succession. The second half was absolutely insane; once you finish cowboys it goes insane, and I was IN for the ride. It hit me with heavy emotions for characters I hadn't even met yet, I got angry with the ones who instigated all of the needless pain; I felt Invested. Really though, to kinda bring it back to my first point, the coolest part about the story was

The World

Ha, see what I did there? Maybe not a great transition, but whatever. I think Tural is one of the coolest places in the game in the sense of it really ties together the planet, and completes a picture of representing our real life world in fantasy. I LOVE when games veer away from the classic European or Japanese into more cultures, and Dawntrail did that PERFECTLY. Having the main city and areas be inspired off of Latin America was super cool, and then once you go north you hit the southern US with American accents and Native American theming!? Dude! Every single zone was a pleasure to see its real world counterpart, especially since this time everything was closer to home to me.

Music

It's Final Fantasy XIV. I could literally end the section there. I think I'll make a full on list way later when the whole soundtrack is out, but from the first trailer I was hooked. Other than the main theme, a couple standouts for me personally are the Yak T'el day theme, which had a wonderful vocal track and melody, and Zoraal Ja's trial theme, which got me pumped with Metal Gear Rising vibes. I think this expansion's motif game was VERY strong overall.

Graphics and Visuals

I'm not much of a graphics guy, and hell, I had to play my game on the lowest possible setting cause my computer sucks, but I could STILL tell this expansion looked great. The colors, the textures, the models, and the visual design of everything captivated me. The realism/lower tech fantasy of Tural, and the futuristic cyberpunk/apocalypse of Alexandria; it was all so cool to look at. I was also amazed by the cutscene technology this time around! I feel like the animators hyperpowered up with Hildibrand, and they really showed their skills! The action, the transitions, it was all so so impressive and I can't believe that it's only going to get better from here.

Another very important part of any XIV content, that really ties into all of the above, is

The Soul of Previous Final Fantasies

Does that title make sense? I dunno. I really do think I might make a separate post on this one, but Dawntrail feels like two previous mainline games: IX and XI (really unfortunate to read out but let's ignore the obvious jokes yeah?) put together. The expansion as a whole feels like XI, more specifically Treasures of Aht Urhgan, and having knowledge of that story was something I could use while playing this story, and I had a blast to see how many plotlines I could predict. The latter half is where all the IX comes in, and since that's one of my favorite FFs, I am not complaining. From the literal presence of straight up Alexandria (holy shit!!!) to the themes of death and souls, it was a joy to see IX finally get a whole spotlight in XIV. VI got a little love with Pictomancer and Valigarmanda being in there, but that was really about it (still awesome though!) I'm very excited to get more XI goodness in the raid series.

The Not so Good Parts

Bleh. I usually like to be really positive when I'm writing about a game, cause we have enough negativity when it comes to talking about games (there's whole youtube channels where their identity is just to talk shit), and like, it's exhausting to keep doing that. But unfortunately, I do think Dawntrail suffers in some key areas that soured my experience.

Gameplay

So, like I mentioned at the start, I took a break from XIV due to burnout. Something that XIV noticeably has, is a pattern. This is a very formulaic game, which like... isn't by itself bad? But I feel for an MMO, you gotta have some shakeups. But here we are again, with an MSQ that's mainly dialogue, and walking. I feel like I'm a person that like, usually doesn't mind this! But even I could see the fact that there were places they really could have turned into gameplay segments, and could have gotten more risky with their quest design (XVI also had this same issue, and this was my same struggle with that game). Let me cook the tacos myself. Let me shoot the enemies on the train. Final Fantasy has stupid one off minigames, bring that into this. I think giving the story more interactivity would have done it justice. I know they can kill it!

Story

You might notice that I went pretty short with what I liked about the characters up top. I really, truly enjoyed the cast! But there is a glaring problem, and that is the balance of screen time. Wuk Lamat is the central, strongest focus, for the entire expansion. I love her! But like... maybe instead of always pairing me with her, I could get paired with my other friends? Maybe I could get Erenville for more than a zone and a half? Maybe Krile, who desperately needs more screen time, could have gotten... more screen time? (this is the one that REALLY gets me the most) I didn't hate anyone, but even I could feel that the balance of who was on screen getting focus was really off, and it hurts the story as a whole I think. They advertise us rivaling Thancred and Urianger, and the worst thing they did was block off a path before going right back to being friends with us, and I think rearranging how things were balanced could have helped that. Also like... why were the twins there if they barely got to appear? I wish they stuck back to grow (literally), while maybe G'raha could continue to stick around. The main thing this caused was fatigue, and that's something I hate feeling in a game that I love.

Estinien was fine though lmao he's so funny when he barely appears, absolute chad he's the best character in the game

Audience and Simplicity

This one... might be a bit more subjective. XIV has definitely been simplifying itself in recent years, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But... I feel like in this expansion, simplicity is getting to the point where the story seems to be hitting you with callbacks and removing subtlety where I think I could have gotten the meaning of what they were saying myself? I don't think you need to keep repeating that the Milalla ran from snow. But... they did, and I feel as though this might be because the general audience of this game will complain when they do branch out, or will complain that they don't understand this, or that. It reminds me of how Pokemon Black and White were completely dunked on, and then look what we continued to get for years, and I think it's showing on XIV. I think the gameplay also suffers from this, as it almost feels like they're afraid to branch out because people won't like it. Sure, the fights are getting harder, but I can't help but wonder how many complaints I'll see on that, and how people are like "I only get 2 minutes a day to play I can't be thinking about where the sword will go".

I'm not great with being negative and critical I feel, so I'm sure my statements here are half-baked and lacking hard evidence, but these are posts about my feelings! Let me ramble. I really really do hope that the game can veer away from the path it's taking, because I think it'll be better in the long run, and it'll create a product that I KNOW can be amazing.

7.9/10. Amazing world, challenging fights, and incredibly impressive technology that shows how much the game has grown since the start, but also suffering from stale formulas, issues with balancing of characters, and writing struggles that make the great parts harder to appreciate.

[jakowskis]

ok i just finished batman the caped crusader and i thought i'd dump my thoughts here cuz why not

big fan of the 1940s noir vibes, batman ofc originated in the 40s and i love that its been able to evolve w modern times but the 40s will always be its home yanno, so it's always good when it goes back to it. was one of the appeals of btas too. it esp pairs well w all the mob stuff going on within gotham theres just smth so classic abt batman beating up gangsters w tommy guns. batman n noir pair soo infinitely well. its a key component to the universe rlly

loveddd barbara and renee. i love barbara's diversity as a character, she works well n thrives in so many roles. she was essentially the main character of this tbh n she kicked ass. loved her

was cool to see characters u dont see often - i whooped when onomatopoeia showed up. too bad they underutilized him. what we did see was cool tho

toby stephens was srsly channeling tim curry oml

CARRIE!!! STEPHANIE!! there might of been more but i only clocked it when i immediately recognized carrie fsdhk (update i just checked the other two were dick n jason refs??? ok!!!!)

dude some shit was creepyyy like. idk if this was for kids per se but if i watched as a kid several things in this woulda creeped me tf out. ig it's sort of on par w btas / 90s cartoons in general which were a bit more... Intense but ya i was like woah at parts

i forgot how much fun it is to hav a villain of the week / semi unrelated story every ep like. idk if its just the shows ive been watching or a streaming thing but i feel like that genre of show n esp cartoon is a lot less common than it used to be, at least in media that's not exclusively for kids. altho again i rlly dunno what the age range for this was. maybe an intense pg idk

the elephant in the room... harley... sigh. it was rlly cool to see a harley who exists independently of joker, who created herself, but it was... an odd take for her that i wanted to like, but couldn't. it was mostly a matter of her temperament when she was doing her crimes, like i just.. couldn't reconcile it. out-of-costume harley was good, i loved her, and her x renee 👀but once that jester's costume was on it felt all wrong. i liked her motives, but the execution... you can do the off-on switch with certain characters - harley isn't one of them. a calm calculated cold harley who doesnt have any fun in her villainy just doesn't work. so that was a bummer

the bruce in this felt like a midpoint between the batman 2022's weird little freak + then, like, ur standard bruce. gd and he was fucking RUDE. it kind of drove me nuts a little tbh like his callousness with alfred (not calling him by his name???) was an odd choice imo

soo many recognizable voices in this. im a voice acting nerd so i was having fun consulting the wikipedia and going 'OHHH'

i hav more thoughts but im sleepy so im jus gonna wrap up by saying ive been following this since day one like i read a news article abt it wayyy back in 2021 when it was in development n i followed news on it for ages n its so cool to see the final product, like i havent had tht w many things i usually forget abt stuff fshkdj. also i cant believe max passed on it like this had all the ingredients of a winner n it turned out even better than you'd expect. baffling

all n all p damn good except for some odd character choices but i very much liked it

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, Jake English

Meat, page 6

DAVE: so whats gonna happen to everyone we left in the wrecked time line

JOHN: uh, well.

JOHN: i don’t know actually. i’ve been to that time line four times now and it always pretty much goes to shit.

DAVE: oh

ROSE: This has been bothering me as well. Is Kanaya going to be ok?

ROSE: And by Kanaya, I guess I mean... everyone?

DAVE: yeah what about karkat

DAVE: and terezi

DAVE: and the MAYOR??

JADE: oh my god!!!!!

DAVE: what

JADE: actually dave, i hate to say it but...

JADE: i think john might have actually saved the mayor by bringing us all here?

DAVE: what

DAVE: what could that possibly even mean

JADE: i just remembered......

JADE: before john zapped us all here, and unbrainwashed me

JADE: .....i think i was going to kill the mayor :(

DAVE: wtf jade no

DAVE: jade that is seriously uncool

JADE: i KNOW!

JADE: i was gonna kick him right into the lava!

DAVE: that is fucked up on so many levels i dont even know where to begin

DAVE: its like an escher staircase of cartoon villainy

DAVE: i got nothing

DAVE: its so

DAVE: so...

JADE: grimbark? :B woof woof

DAVE: jesus no jade its stone cold evil

DAVE: i cant believe you just said that shit and then woofed at me

DAVE: i cant

DAVE: i cant even look at you right now

JOHN: uh, everyone, can we...

JOHN: let’s chill out for a minute. i’m sure this is all very confusing to all of you.

JOHN: about the time line you’re leaving behind... yeah, i get it. it’s weird.

JOHN: i’ve already left one major time line behind. well, two if you count the one i just came from, where we’re all adults.

JOHN: the truth is, i have no idea what happens to these time lines and all the people living in them, when i just... zap out of them, to use my retcon powers to change stuff?

JOHN: they might stop existing completely. i don’t know.

JOHN: the thing is, we can’t really think about it.

JOHN: it’s tough, but if we’re all acting like heroes here, and trying to do the right thing, then we have to put it all behind us.

JOHN: it’s a sacrifice we’re making.

JOHN: i mean, we’re risking our lives by fighting a powerful monster, sure.

JOHN: but the sacrifice i’m talking about... is saying goodbye to the life we thought we belonged to, and all the people in it.

JOHN: probably forever.

JOHN: it sucks, and i’m sorry i had to ask this of you all.

JOHN: but there’s no other way.

JOHN: everyone who has ever existed, and will ever exist, is counting on us... i think?

JOHN: so...

JOHN: yeah.

ROXY: damn

ROXY: john uh

ROXY: i know we just met and all but

ROXY: that was a fine ass speech and idk if i speak for the rest of my peeps here but im fuckin psyched

ROXY: lets do this shit

JOHN: uh.

JOHN: oh, um. thanks.

JOHN: anyway, we need to make battle plans.

JAKE: Jeepers!

JOHN: uh, hey kids...

ROSE: Please, Adult John, don’t do that.

ROSE: Is it time to go?

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: no, if you want to be technical. i can zap us in wherever, whenever. we have all the time in the universe if we want it.

ROSE: But if we don’t leave now, you’re afraid we never will?

JOHN: heh.

JOHN: i guess it’s true that people don’t really change. they just grow up?

ROSE: I guess.

JOHN: okay everyone... i’ve never zapped this many people before so let’s all just...

JOHN: uh, hold hands, maybe? in a circle, i mean. that should work.

DAVE: god this is so lame

JADE: its not lame its perfect!!!

DAVE: nah

JOHN: shh!

JOHN: alright. is everyone ready, then?

[luthwhore]

Got myself thinking about it, even straight up imagining how I wish a next JL cartoon would try to adapt it to do it it justice, imagining how I would do it, replaying whole scenes in my head, cause I'm a dork like that-but damn, if Scott Snyder didn't decide it'll just be lead up to fucking Death Metal, I think his JL run would be remembered as one of the all time best Lex stories. I know the whole "Lex literally decides that Evil is Good" is kind of goofy and abstract, but the idea is it's supposed to be an absurd escalation of Lex's pseudo-philosophical justifications for his villainy (you can tell Snyder's a Morrison fanboy) and Tynion's co-writing helps to ground more in character and feel like an extension of his time as hero, with Lex rather than simply go back to the old status quo, decides he'll uproot the accepted foundation of of known existence to make himself the true savior of humanity.

Really, if only he just made the Justice/Doom War the finale and let Death Metal be an indirect follow-up, even the latter would be looked upon more fondly.

yeah, i was actually really surprised how much i ended up liking justice league (2018)! i do think it had a bit of a slow start, but i enjoyed seeing a villain story with lex where he was actually allowed to have a character arc because historically a lot of stories that use him as a villain tend to keep him pretty static, and i agree with you about tynion tempering snyder's more... batman-villain-writer tendencies, shall we say, where lex is concerned. snyder's lex is fun but particularly unhinged in a way that i felt like worked very well in batman: last knight on earth but came off a little strange in superman: unchained.

i'm not sure whether death metal or last knight on earth happened first, but it kind of feels like last knight was what snyder wanted death metal to be, and since it was a self-contained story he was actually able to do it well. and because it's a batman story and not a justice league story the unhinged vibe actually works there.

the plot also gave me the lex luthor: year of the villain special, which is a little silly but it's one of my favorite lex one-shots.

[fairymascot]

when i started watching harley quinn TV, about the last thing i expected of it was to be feminist in any way. i mean, it's an adult comedy cartoon. it's based on 2016 suicide squad's take on harley. the poor woman doesn't even wear any pants. but man, the more i think about it, and the more i consume other dc content featuring those characters, the more appreciative i am of its takes on its female cast.

let's talk about ivy. i watched the btas episode 'house and garden' today, and was honestly appalled by how blatantly male it all felt. in this episode, ivy 'rehabitilates' herself by getting released from arkham, marrying her therapist (which nobody even pointed out is illegal?!), taking care of his two kids from a previous marriage, and basically living the perfect suburban housewife dream. when batman suspects she's up to some shit, she tells him she's never been happier, and no longer has any need for crime. of course it turns out to be an elaborate ruse, but the ending reveals that she wasn't completely insincere -- she does, in fact, dream of having a husband and children, something she cannot accomplish due to the infertility caused by her powers.

unfortunately, this episode must have had a serious impact on ivy's characterization, as the book 'cycle of life and death' from 2016 is heavily founded on it. in my humble opinion, it's terrible. i mean, i get it, it was the nineties and written by men, and tv writers only really started picking up on how to write women as complex multilayered beings in recent years, but damn.

ivy's original character is already rooted in a very male, distorted perception of women. she's a textbook femme fatale-- she's dainty, gorgeous, scantily clad, and her powers are seducing men into doing her bidding. and to pile further on top of her misogynistic foundation, the only way they could think to humanize her is by forcing more of their stereotypical male perception onto her-- how do we show she's a sympathetic character? by making her deep down a 'normal woman', who has normal woman dreams of being a housewife with children. the rather blatant subtext that she turned to a life of villainy because her infertility denied her that dream -- a failed woman that has turned into a despicable monster -- only makes this depiction all the uglier. i'm actually amazed this take on her character managed to survive all the way to 2016.

but then you have hqtv ivy, who takes all that and unceremoniously dumps it in the trash. it rethinks the basics of ivy's personality and attitude from the ground up. she's a misanthrope -- the only company she seeks outside of her plants is harley -- why would she make a villain career out of seducing men? why does she have to be sensual and coy? no. instead, she's awkward, stoic, and anti social. she dresses a whole hell of a lot more practical, she's blunt to a fault, and wastes none of her time trying to appeal to men.

the sexual element of her powers has been removed, or at the very least severely limited-- no more poison kisses or seducing men to do her bidding. the only scene that incorporates that element at all is when she has to peck a bunch of dweeby 12 year old boys on the mouth to reverse the effect of her toxin that's been slipped into their bar mitzvah punch bowl by mistake. it's ridiculous, it's absolutely mortifying for her, and it's funny. nothing about it is remotely sexy.

as for her dreams of becoming a housewife... well, ivy very clearly doesn't know what she wants for her future. or rather, she's so repressed that she doesn't allow herself to want. she always saw herself ecoterroristing it up solo-- but then harley happened, and she found herself going soft, and opening up to other people through harley's influence as well. she allows herself to acknowledge that she's lonely, and that she does crave human connection. specifically, she craves harley -- but that's a part of her she had to seal away, out of fear of ruining their friendship. this leads her to pursue a relationship with kite man (or rather: be pursued by him), even though at every step of the way she pretty obviously has to force herself farther into it.

it's not that she doesn't like kite man. the opposite. she can tell he's a good guy, he treats her so well, he cares for her so deeply. for someone like ivy, coming from a life of abuse and isolation, that's rarer than rare. and that's why she forces herself to overlook all their differences, all the aspects of their relationship that clearly aren't working, and clings on to it regardless. finally, someone genuinely wants her, cares about her. she'd have to be stupid to let that go, right?

but she doesn't want it. that's spelled out the most blatantly on their wedding day-- while he's reciting his dream future of them living in a nice house with a white picket fence, a dog and three kids, ivy is horrified. unlike btas' ivy, who would've surely been delighted, it's completely removed from anything this version of ivy ever wanted for herself. and in that moment, she realizes she fucked up. she locked herself into a life she never wanted because she thought it was the best she could hope to get.

and then their wedding goes up in literal flames, kite man calls it quits, and ivy finally lets herself pursue what she really, truly wants: harley.

it's such a great, fresh take on ivy's character. she's written as a woman, but not some male writer's narrow view of one, but an actual honest, human woman. her struggles and insecurities are incredibly relatable to me as a female viewer, because she's allowed to breathe and grow and have depth outside of the list of stereotypes female characters are so often shoehorned into. she's aloof, she's cynical, she's a loner; she's carrying years of trauma that's made her insecure and closed off, and she's just starting to grow past that; she's desperate for love but forces herself to settle for tepid affection because she's too scared to pursue anything more; she's a genius biochemist and a badass with the power to control all of plant life, but she's fucking chickenshit and wishy-washy and doesn't know how to be honest with her feelings, leading her to hurt those she cares about. and the fact that they took btas' ivy's dream of getting married and having a family, and used it as a stepping stone-- subverted it as part of ivy's self-realization and growth-- that's just the icing on the cake.

hqtv ivy is hands down the best take of this character i've seen to date. god bless, i cannot wait for season 3.

[smileposting]

s4mweek day 2 - growth

[ao3 version]

[ahhh sorry this one’s late!! made some Last Minute Edits. also this is better read as a follow-up to secret, but it’s not a requirement]

“So… what’s with Putunia?” they ask, looking over Habit’s shoulder from where they stand in the kitchen. The girl in question is in the living room, scribbling on a pad of notebook paper at speeds that they suspect have gone undiscovered by scientists. The impact of her tackle-hugging them when she answered the door is still fresh, and they suspect it'll leave a bit of a bruise, but they don’t mind. “Is she your kid now?”

“Oh, no!” Habit laughs, setting down a cup of coffee in front of them. “She just likes to come here and bother dear old Habby whenever her parents forget to pick her up.” There’s a pause as he follows their line of sight. “Which is most days.”

“How’d that happen, anyway? She’s like, eight.”

“Aha! You see, Flower Child,” Habit leans forward in the way people tend to do when they’ve got a good story. “Kamal called me a little after the reunion, he said,” Habit's voice rises in an attempt to capture Kamal’s distinctive nasally, New York-tinged timbre. “‘So, don’t freak out, but Putunia might’ve gotten into my filing cabinet and she’s got your address so if you see a seven-year-old with a boxing glove and shouting something about a rematch, don’t be alarmed.’”

Then he tilts his head with a thoughtful hum. “Well, no,” he adds in his normal voice. “Then he said that I should be alarmed after all, but not too much, since there was a chance of her wiggling her way in through a window, and if it was the one over my sink then she could get hurt, but I could just lock the window.” Another pause. “And then he said-”

“I get it,” they sign as politely as they can.

Habit clears his throat. “Right! Yes. So. No, she is not mine.”

"But!" A shrill voice calls from the living room. "In a SHOCKING TWIST, me and the Menace have formed a temporary alliance!"

This is evidently news to Habit, judging by the way he narrows his eyes in confusion. "We have?"

"Yes! Keep up, Menace - there are much more eviler things at play than your petty villainy!" Putunia crows, standing up from the floor with her hands on her hips defiantly.

"Ahh," Habit nods like he's got some idea of what she's talking about, which is a relief to them; they could use something to play off of right about now. "...Like what?" Ah. Nevermind.

"Like - like laundry! High shelves! Child-proof caps!" Ignoring Habit's objections to her last point, she turns to face them. "Flower Cadet! Someone with your power gets it, right?"

Biting the inside of their cheek, they nod. Putunia beams at them.

"Good! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some blueprints to draft up." With that, she marches back to the living room with a new fervor - though considering how energetic she is normally, that may not be saying much."

Next to them, Habit frowns a little. "I will need to find a new place for my medication." The last word comes out sounding chopped-up in Habit's usual fashion, a noticeable space between the first two syllables and the last.

It’s an unexpected development to see them in the same house at all, albeit thematically appropriate. They weren’t sure what they expected to find on the other side when they knocked on the door of Habit’s house, a humble little thing on the outskirts of town. The most obvious answer was, well, Habit himself, but even that was a remarkably vague answer. They had no way to guarantee what condition Habit was in, except for what few hints they could gather from the Habitat reunion - which sounded promising enough…

… But they had seen their fair share of fakeouts before. All it took was some hack higherup deciding that happy endings were “unrealistic,” and they’d find themself opening the door to see something ghoulish like Habit’s body hanging in the kitchen, or an eviction notice that had slipped their mind somehow.

Enough of that, they chide themself. Now wasn’t the time to get caught up in what could have been. They know how Habit is doing these days, they tell themself. He’s doing fine. He’s got a job, a couple friends, he evidently knows how to keep a kid alive. A remarkable recovery, all things considered.

Deciding that they’ve had enough introspection for the time being, they glance at Habit’s face. There’s an unmistakable wistfulness there, one that they are absolutely going to take an opportunity to rib him for. “You know, for all that talk about her not being your kid...”

“She is - not,” Habit sputters, flushing several shades darker. His frown deepens when they snicker at him. “She's not! I couldn’t look after a little one right now, anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really." The way the corner of his lip quirks upward despite his embarrassment doesn’t escape Flower Kid’s notice. “Why are you surprised?”

“No, I get what you mean. I’m just saying, you’re looking pretty dad-like right about now.”

He raises an eyebrow. His lip twitches once more - is he hopeful? Or is he trying not to laugh? “Oh?”

“Yeah.” They give him a once-over as they continue. He looks… good. His frizzy mane of hair is pulled back into a loose ponytail, and he has yet to take off his dirt-stained smock, floral print peeking out from underneath. He’s put on some weight since the Habitat - just enough so that his cheeks aren’t quite so sunken in. “Very ‘retired hippie’ chic. It suits you.”

“Hm,” says Habit, idly stirring his coffee with a spoon that looks comically tiny in his hands. “You… are looking better, too, Flower Hero,” he concedes, his voice low. "You have been taking care of yourself?"

They want to object - “hero” is stretching it. They raise their hands, ready to brush it off with a claim that they were just doing what was expected of them. But something stops them.

Maybe it’s just that they don’t want to look like they can’t take a compliment - they’ve done bigger, grander things than this, and they’ve accepted the praise with no problem. Maybe it’s just how damn cozy all of this is, all white wicker porch furniture and quaint wallpaper patterns and the muffled sound of weekday cartoons in the background, and if they come in here being their usual punch clock hero self, they’ll ruin it. Maybe someday they’ll figure out some happy medium between the two.

But for now, they nod. “Yeah. I have.”

[number-one-micoverse-fan]

Day 2: Failed Rescue

Spy AU one today! Took me a bit to figure out what I wanted to do for it. But I had some fun making it kind of "cartoon-y, over the top” in terms of villainy.

Not much in the way for warnings here. Blood, injury, gun violence, and implied human experimentation/body horror.

xxxxxxxxxxx

It was stupid of him to have hope. He knew it was stupid. Getting your hopes up only led to the truth hurting more.

But when the alarm had gone off and that blade hovering over him had paused, and then been cast aside with a growl, he couldn’t help the sigh of relief. He was left alone in the room as the mad man stomped away, slamming—and no doubt locking—the door behind him.

Dom waited for one, breathless minute, listening carefully for any sounds beyond the door. Hearing nothing, he twisted against the restraints pinning him to the table, giving them a few experimental yanks. No give. That was all right, he had other things he could try.

A bit more careful maneuvering and Dom had managed to shrug the thin, sheathed blade out of the lining of the collar of his button-up. It was a tiny thing, barely useful for much at all. But Dom had learned well the value of small things over the years.

Catching the plastic sheath in his teeth, he carefully turned his head, aimed, and let it go. It dropped right into his hand. He turned it between his fingers until he was able to pry the cap off and flip the blade so it was pressing against the strap of one of the cuffs holding him to the table. Then it was just a manner of sawing through the damn thing.

He was halfway through cutting it when there was the distinct boom of a distant explosion. Dom’s head snapped up, staring hard at the door, heart thudding in his chest. When it didn’t open, he feverishly resumed his escape attempt. A spark of hope blossomed in his chest, even as he tried to smother it down. That explosion had to mean they were coming, they were coming to rescue him. Of course they were, Miranda wouldn’t leave him in the hands of this mad doctor. They were a pair, the two of them, inextricable and forever. And thinking of that made his heart soar.

The strap was barely hanging on when the door banged open and a couple of henchmen rushed in with cuffs and batons at the ready. Probably with orders to move him to a more secure location.

As if Dom would let them.

Before the first one could lay a hand on him, Dom wrenched his arm up, snapping the last threads of the strap, and slammed his fist into the guard’s face. It was a clumsy blow, struck from a poor angle and without his usual force behind it. But it was enough to send the thug stumbling back into the others, momentarily disorienting them and giving Dom a few precious seconds to fumble with the buckle on his other hand. He was working on the big strap holding his ankles down by the time the henchmen recovered and charged at him again.

Dom wrenched his leg up, nearly kneeing himself in the face and popping his shoe off as he pulled himself free of the loosened cuff. His weight meant he was leaning forward and he fell, yanking desperately to free his other foot as it was bent by his fall. He managed to wriggle out of his shoe and get out but not before he’d badly twisted his ankle. It didn’t stop him from rolling to his feet, keeping his weight off his bad leg, and bracing for a fight. The thugs looked a bit startled to see their captive suddenly free but they shook it off quickly and moved to flank him. Dom didn’t give them the chance.

One scuffle later and Dom was limping out of the room with a pair of cuffs, two batons, and three pistols shoved in his belt. The fourth he kept in his hands. Another explosion, this time closer, made him grin. Wrecking havoc. Perfect.

Moving as quickly and carefully as he could, Dom made his way through the halls, dispatching foes without mercy as he needed. His injury slowed him down significantly, throwing him off balance and getting him clipped by a few stray shots or lucky punches. Wounds stinging, Dom pressed on. He was down to one pistol now. He had to be careful.

Then the wall further down the hall exploded outward in a huge scream of bending steel and shattered mortar. Smoke billowed through the opening and Dom paused, squinting, trying to see if the mess was made by friend or foe. He hoped for friend. His wishes were granted.

She stepped out of the billowing grey smoke, an avenging angel, a goddess of war. Her black suit was covered in dust and her hair was beginning to spill out of its professional bun. There was a bruise on her jaw and a smear of blood under her nose. But her eyes were steely with rage and determination, the grip on her semi-auto unwavering, and her movements confident and deadly. She was a guillotine poised to fall upon the neck of anyone who wronged her, an adder with gorgeous scales and a poisonous bite, the strongest lioness to ever hunt, no prey left alive and her claws always sharp.

To Dom, the sight of Miranda stepping out of the rubble was a gift from heaven. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

“Miranda!” He shouted, limping as fast as he could down the hallway towards her, a smile already breaking out on his face.

“Dom!” The relief in her expression was palpable. She ran towards him, reaching out her free hand, ready to take him home, ready to hold him, ready to make him feel safe and loved and—

A gigantic metal claw tore through the floor, ripping up metal and tiles with a grinding crash that had them both skidding to a halt and leveling their guns. There was shouting and support came spilling in behind Miranda, most of them drawing up short in shock as a terrifying machine hauled itself through the hole in the floor with a screech of metal on metal and churning gears.

It was a monster of a thing; nearly as big as the hallway, all silver and black metal, with claws on the ends of its four limbs. Shaped almost like a lizard with hazard yellow eyes and belching toxic black fumes from the pipes on its back. Its mouth was full of rotating, serrated saws, a funnel of death, and its tail was thicker than a semi-truck trailer, segmented to bend and swivel and crash against the walls in a cacophony of sound.

Dom stumbled backwards and nearly fell, bracing himself against the wall as he watched the beast in wide-eyed horror. This thing was a monster. Even as he watched, it turned its head towards the agents across the gap and opened its jaws in a roar that was the scream of machinery and gears. The agents must have shouted something about falling back because most them started backing up through the hole in the wall, scrambling to backpedal over the rubble.

Except for Miranda.

She leveled her semi-auto at the beast and open fired.

Bullets pinged uselessly off its metal shell and were swallowed by the churning mechanism in its mouth. Henchmen started clawing their way up through the hole around the machine and Dom could hear more footsteps behind him. The machine just stared at Miranda, bathing her in noxious yellow light, its mouth closed, unimpressed.

“Fall back, Kearney!” A voice came from the hole the other agents had escaped through, “We don’t have the resources to fight that thing! Fall! Back!”

“NO!” Miranda snapped. She threw her empty gun at one of the henchmen coming up through the floor and roundhouse kicked another in the head, sending him crashing into the wall.

“Fall back! That’s an order!”

Miranda ignored it.

Dom could only watch helplessly as more and more thugs started coming towards her, until she was in danger of being overwhelmed. It was only then that some of her comrades charged back into the fray, shooting down the thugs and occasionally taking potshots at the unaffected machine monster.

Someone grabbed Dom’s arm and he shouted, pistol whipping them and spinning away. The henchman went down with a cry of pain, clutching his bloodied face. More of them were coming, and Dom used up all of his shots far too quickly. And that stupid lizard monster machine just sat hulking over the hole, not even sparing Dom’s struggle a glance. It only watched Miranda.

Then one of the henchmen got an arm around Dom’s throat and that was the end of that.

Miranda screamed and Dom could just barely make out her figure being dragged away from the fight by her fellow agents. She fought to get back to him and Dom fought equally as hard to get away. But the last thing he saw was her desperately painful, sorry expression as she vanished back through the hole and out of sight.

And it was only when the henchmen had secured the hallway completely that the horrible machine turned its head to look at Dom.He squinted against its poisonous yellow eyes, gritting his teeth as he tried to wrench himself free from the thugs pushing him to the floor, pinning down his arms and legs. The thing stared at him and he glared right back. Then it gave one more noisy billow of smoke and settled quietly to the floor, the glow in its eyes dimming. A hatch opened on its side, a ramp slamming down into the floor with a bang.

And out stepped Dom’s captor. There was a smug sneer on his face but rage burned in his eyes as he approached. He stopped a foot or so away, out of Dom’s reach, looking down at him with like he was scum smeared on the hallway floor.

“I’d been wanting a chance to test that thing out,” Carter Vandellen said with far too much cheeriness in his voice, “Shame I couldn’t try the harpoon feature—but I didn’t want to endanger Dr. Kearney.” His eyes flashed, “Unlike you.”

“She—“ Dom began but Carter just kicked him hard in the face. Dom grimaced as he felt his nose break, hot blood splattering down his front and over the floor.

“Don’t talk about her like you know her,” Carter hissed behind a pleasant smile, “I know things that Dr. Kearney’s done that would make your flesh crawl, Agent Bridges.” His grin widened as Dom sputtered and spit blood out of his mouth, a feral and vicious thing that showed his teeth like a hungry fox,

“Bring him to my main lab. I’ve had this idea I’ve wanted to try for a while. And, wouldn’t you know it, Bridges here is the perfect candidate! I do hope you’re not squeamish, Agent Bridges…because this is going to messy~”

Fear cinched tight in Dom’s heart as Carter sauntered away, horrible laughter echoing in the hallway. He’d seen the experiments Carter had done, the mutated work he’d done on people, seen footage of Carter digging into his subjects with the fever of a man possessed. And the thought of being under Carter’s knife filled him with a cold, sick terror and he struggled to get away as the henchmen heaved him him and started to carry him away.

He hoped Miranda and the agency would make another attempt to rescue him soon.

He hoped there would be enough left of him to save.

[corpsebrigadier]

Get to know your author asks. 1, 4, 7, 10, and 25.

Okay! Let's do this!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I'm sort of holding off on almost all of them right about now, given how busy this year has kept me. Beyond that though, I don't really think there's anything that I've been saving for any reason beyond not quite having it figured out how to write it yet.

4) favorite character you’ve written

When it comes to my characterization of other creator's characters in fic, it is probably a toss up between Dycedarg and Gau. I feel both of them are characters who are fundamentally cartoonish (albeit in very different fashions), and I really enjoy writing them in ways that offer expansion while still clinging to the ridiculous logic on which they operate. I will never get sick of trying to write Dycedarg Beoulve as a multidimensional, feeling human being who will invariably work through those feelings to do one-dimensionally villainous things, and I have also really loved all my attempts to write Gau as somebody who should be taken seriously despite having been raised by the FF6 bestiary.

When it comes to (mostly) original characters, I'm very partial to my take on the complete non-entity that is FFT's Rad, Chukosh the artistically-inclined sasquatch, and Original Academic Douchebag Aloysius Sorenson.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I'm enthused. I think I'm a pretty groovy character, and my love of writing detailed histories of minor characters in old JRPGs is just one of my many charming eccentricities people should know about

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I have a million playlists for every occasion, and I deploy them in a very targeted fashion. If I want to edit or write something detailed at a leisurely pace, I will write alone with a soundtrack of soft folk music. If I want to draft very fast, I will go to a coffee shop (or rather I would go to coffee shops), pop in earbuds, and play aggressive DDR music. Saber Wing on repeat alone got me through one of the rottenest papers of my academic career.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

I really like a lot of stuff in the dream sequences in "Let Your Curse Be On Me," but with my attempts to expand on Dycedarg's Saturday Morning cartoon villainy fresh on my mind, I remember being really pleased with this opener to the episode in which he is trying to be cool and unflappable as a small child with a freshly dead mother:

"It was July, and I resented having to wear black, envying the peasantry for the lack of ritual with which they died. It was simple enough, I thought, to leave the dead to the ground and keep on with things. The poor didn't have to hang sables, or hold mourner's feasts, or distribute alms, or pay for masses, or tell the damned bees people had died. They simply persisted, like every other thing in the world."

[butterflies-dragons]

Hey according to grrm tyrion is said to be a good villain? What do you think about Tyrion? Is he a villain or anti hero? If he is a good villain then why he will be hand of king? Do you think grrm means something different?

Back in 1999, this is what GRRM said: 

Amazon.com: Do you have a favorite character?

Martin: I've got to admit I kind of like Tyrion Lannister. He's the villain of course, but hey, there's nothing like a good villain.

[Source]

Over the years, GRRM also has said:

2000:

Tyrion is Martin's favorite character, but from the perspective of House Stark, he's certainly a villain -- someone once said that a villain was a hero on the other side.

[Source]

2006:

He also answered some questions, and had some interesting things to say. He repeatedly emphasized that he prefers to write grey characters, because in real life people are complex; no one is pure evil or pure good. Fiction tends to divide people into heroes who do no wrong and villains who go home and kick their dogs and beat their wives, but that reality is much different. He cited a soldier who heroically saves his friends' lives, but then goes home and beats his wife. Which is he, hero or villain? Martin said both and that neither act cancels out the other.

(...)

So he said that he likes to paint characters in shades of grey (recurring theme of the weekend, yay! so refreshing from these damn didactic TV show runners... anyway....). And that even what seem like the most horrific people have other sides, aren't pure caricatures of evil, that even Hitler had his nice moments. And he wanted to explore what might cause that kind of villainy, because no one just wakes up and says “I want to be evil today.”  

[Source]

2007:

The concept of heroes and villains is a false dichotomy, in George's opinion. Real human beings are a mixture of good and evil.

[Source]

2008:

FAVORITE WILD CARDS CHARACTERS

(...)

I also loved Jetboy. Although he only appeared in that one story, he set the tone for much that followed. Even so, I might have to pass him over for Gregg Hartmann. A good story needs a good villain, and Gregg was our best, with a story arc that went all the way from book one through book fifteen.

[Source]

[What was the hardest death to write?]

The Red Wedding was the hardest thing I´ve ever written.I don´t know that I have actually enjoyed any of them. Even when you kill a bad guy, it can be hard... he´s one of your ¨children¨too. Besides, good villains are hard to find, and you always have the nagging doubt that maybe you´ll need him down the line.

[Source]

2011:

Much as I admire Tolkien, and I do admire Tolkien — he’s been a huge influence on me, and his Lord of the Rings is the mountain that leans over every other fantasy written since and shaped all of modern fantasy — there are things about it, the whole concept of the Dark Lord, and good guys battling bad guys, Good versus Evil, while brilliantly handled in Tolkien, in the hands of many Tolkien successors, it has become kind of a cartoon. We don’t need any more Dark Lords, we don’t need any more, ‘Here are the good guys, they’re in white, there are the bad guys, they’re in black. And also, they’re really ugly, the bad guys.

It is certainly a genuine, legitimate topic as the core of fantasy, but I think the battle between Good and Evil is waged within the individual human hearts. We all have good in us and we all have evil in us, and we may do a wonderful good act on Tuesday and a horrible, selfish, bad act on Wednesday, and to me, that’s the great human drama of fiction. I believe in gray characters, as I’ve said before. We all have good and evil in us and there are very few pure paragons and there are very few orcs. A villain is a hero of the other side, as someone said once, and I think there’s a great deal of truth to that, and that’s the interesting thing. In the case of war, that kind of situation, so I think some of that is definitely what I’m aiming at.

[Source]

2020:

Dwelling where I am now, deep in the heart of Westeros, I find myself surrounded by my characters, the children of my mind and heart and soul.   They are real to me, as I write them, and I struggle to make them real to my readers as well.   All of them are flawed, from the best to the worst.  They do heroic things, they do selfish things.   Some are strong and some are weak, some smart and some stupid.  The smartest may do stupid things.  The bravest may have moments when their courage fails.   Great harms may be done from the noblest motives, great good from motives vile and venal.   Life is like that, and art should reflect that, if it is to remain true.   Ours is a world of contradiction and unintended consequences.

[Source]

As you can see, when GRRM refers to Tyrion as a “good villain”, he is saying that he is not a caricature of a villain, he is not a cartoon, he is not all black, ugly and evil, etc.

Tyrion is a villain, there is no doubt about it.  GRRM is all about grey characters, but he called Tyrion plainly a villain, more than once. 

I have a favorite villain too, she was a great villain, the actress that played her was superb, and the name of the character has an special meaning for me.  I present to you: Carmen Lucia Moreira de Souza Araújo...

...Also known as ¡CARMINHA!  

She was the modern version of the evil stepmother. The main antagonist of the TV Series called Avenida Brasil (Brazil Avenue).

But at the end of the story Carminha survives, goes to jail, serves her sentence, and ends up living the life she tried so hard to avoid throughout the series: poverty. She literally ends up living in a garbage dump... 

...And she also reconciles with her stepdaughter Rita, the protagonist, they both forgive each other and continue with their lives...     

So, if we follow the hints that the Show gave us, Tyrion may survive but he will end up living the life he tried so hard to avoid throughout the series.  He will work doing good things for the realm but he won’t get ANY recognition or appreciation for those good deeds.  He won’t be part of the History books, he will remain anonymous and eventually he will be forgotten... Or worse, he will only be remembered as the monster he always denied being...

Thanks for your message. 

[grandducktale]

“All Yet Seems Well” - Game of Thrones, Dexter, YGO, and the legitimately troubling trend and implication of “the problem play’s” re-emergence in pop culture

So first off, spoilers, naturally. Gonna be talking tragedy here. Also, cringe warning. I’m going to use mostly anime here. Kid cartoons, even.  But there’s a point to all this. If you were fans of Dexter or the television series “Game of Thrones”, any show that had more than anything an “unsatisfying finale” you might be able to pick up what I’m putting down.

What is a tragedy? The definitions vary, but it is a troubling or melancholic story with an unhappy ending. 

A Tragic Hero is easy enough to define. Hamlet from Hamlet, and Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. These two men are tragic because they pass away, and are unable to fully protect what they hold dear. But... I wouldn’t say they’re truly tragic. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to be either of them, but Spike Spiegal and Hamlet do to an extent accomplish some of their goals, and go out in a blaze of glory, score a moral victory, something.

(Pictured Above: Spike saying “Bang” as he bleeds out after killing his nemesis and destroying half a criminal empire in a wild one man blaze of glory)

This post is not about those characters. This post is not even about tragedy, necessary. This post is about problems. Problem plots, problem characters, and problematic implications. The title of this post is “All Yet Seems Well”, because the shows and the characters I am about to discuss are highly reminiscient of Shakespeare’s “Problem Plays.”

To start, let me bring up the character of Shouzu Hiiragi from Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V(a cartoon about children playing competitive card games Konami makes to sell trading cards). Arc-V is basically the “problem play” of YGO, if said play had a caged gorilla break out and steal the spotlight for the last third of the performance. “Problem Play” is a vernacular used to refer to three of Shakespeare’s plays that couldn’t quite be pegged into tragedy or comedy, that provoked discussion either about the plot’s structure, the means used to resolve the problem, or both. For those not even slightly into Shakespeare, I’ve always viewed the operetta The Yeomen of the Guard as Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Problem Play”, so to speak, though Yeomen might as well be a straight up tragedy relative to Gilbert and Sullivan’s other works. 

But what makes a “Problem Play” a “problem play”, precisely? Well, since we’re talking about YGO Arc-V, lets go to Act V of one of Shakespeare’s “Problem Plays”, All’s Well That Ends Well. Act V, scene three, to be precise. 

King: Let us from point to point this story know, To make the even truth in pleasure flow: If thou beest yet a fresh uncropped flower, Choose thou thy husband, and Ile pay thy dower. For I can guesse, that by thy honest ayde, Thou keptst a wife her selfe, thy selfe a Maide. Of that and all the progresse more and lesse, Resoluedly more leasure shall expresse: All yet seemes well, and if it end so meete, The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.

So to understand the “problem” with the above(besides finding a more contemporary translation and supplementing that with sparknotes, tvtropes, and google), one must understand the gist of the plot of “All’s Well That Ends Well.”

Basically, the protagonist of the play, a common girl by the name of Helena, has just prevailed in her desire to marry the love of her life, the highborne Ward of France, Bertram. The audience and the reader should in theory rejoice in such a moment. Helena was given the ability to choose her husband as a reward for saving the ill King, and though she picked Bertram and stipulated that he did not have to marry her, and though Bertram did not directly reject her but instead provided her with two nigh impossible tasks that required guile, intelligence, and strength to prevail, something just seems off. (Perhaps this is why the King says “All Yet Seems Well)

What is it that is off? Is it that Helena was for whatever reason the only one in France capable of curing the King? Is it that for someone as skilled and cunning  as Helena, telling Bertram he doesn’t have to marry her is pointless? Is it Bertram’s own psychological manipulation, to the point that even if these two people married and truly did love each other, that their happiness is a righteous person’s misery? That doubt, that uncertainty, the vague feeling that runs contrary to the overt, happy plot is what makes up a “Problem Play.” 

Shozu Hiiragi is tragic not because of a vague sense of malice or villainy inherent in his character like Helena. No, in fact, he is an authentic version of the “Noble Commoner” facade that makes Helena so problematic. YGO Arc-V is about a kid named Yuya trying to make it as an entertainer after his father left him at a very young age, vanishing into thin air. Yuya was bullied severely, and his father was supportive and this larger than life figure. Naturally, his abrupt disappearance was a traumatic event for Yuya.

Yuya compensates for this disappearance and his past by playing Pagliacci, a sad clown. The Pagliacci thing aside, the show makes it quite clear in the first three episodes that Yuya holds on so tightly to his identity as an entertainer because of the absence created by his father’s disappearance

Now before I get to Shouzu Hiiragi, I have to talk about Yuzu.  Yuya’s childhood friend and sweetheart is a girl named Yuzu Hiiragi. 

Shouzou Hiiragi is a lifetime friend and operator of Yushou’s entertainer school.  To summarize without being too spoilery, the audience eventually finds out that both Yuya and Yuzu are alot more important than they seem, and that they sort of just... appeared one day as babies. This is where Shouzu starts to become tragic, since we learn that not only did he raise a child that wasn’t his, he did so as a single father

 So Shouzu was second banana to Yushou, but he was an entertainer of some renown. He gave it up so he could raise his adopted child, and later on, act as the operator of “You-Show Duel School”, a school named after Yusho but ran by Shouzu since Yushou disappeared.

Now there’s a lot of issues with Arc-V. A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. I am focusing on Shouzu but there’s so much to talk about with how this series has a lot of problems that its tone clashes far too hard with. But I’ll show a meme image out of context for the heck of it. 

I focus on Shouzu because he is the legitimate avenue towards Yuya and the show’s main conflict of balancing entertainment with legitimate hurt, dangerous conflict, and immense suffering and pain. He is a man who does good and puts his ambition aside out of alturism to start, but more than that, he is a genuine father figure to Yuya despite all that is on his plate. 

Like his costume of flame suggests, Shouzu is hot-blooded and passionate. As the plot progresses, Yuya struggles with doing what is right, being a good entertainer, preserving his father’s legacy, and a whole bunch of things. The advice of his father, Yusho, and the advice of his mother, Yoko, is to “smile when he feels like crying” 

This advice isn’t bad, but it is a crutch and a mantra for Yuya, one the direction of the show itself portrays as unhealthy and stunted. (When Yuya cries, he tends to wear his goggles so as to not let it show). So let’s analyze a sequence near the beginning of Arc-V’s 140+ episode. Yuya had obtained a special power like any Campbell Hero, but his rival, Reiji Akaba managed to copy said power in a duel against him(Which Yuya won, anyways albeit due to Reiji having bigger things to deal with)

Being bullied and having a traumatic past, then obtaining a special power unique to him that allows him to win duels, and then LOSING that special power, gets to Yuya a lot, even if he is plenty competent as a duelist.

So he runs away in tears.

Shozou hits Yuya with some facts about how naturally, if a technique or special ability in a game was discovered that gave someone an edge, it would only be a matter of time before other competitors used it too. But Shouzou then challenges Yuya to a duel, and instead of telling him to smile instead of cry, instead re-frames Yuya’s situation of losing his unique ability in a postive and constructive manner

A lot goes on in Arc-V, but the pendulum that Yuya swings back and forth on is the legacy of his father and becoming his own person. Shozou, who is Yuya’s de facto father, provides a path towards the latter. 

But... to make a long story short, Shozou is forgotten about. Yuya keeps chasing after his father, and the lesson he learned from Shozou is forgotten. Arc-V, which if you haven’t been able to tell from my essay on the main character’s girlfriend’s dad has an amazing ensemble cast, and spends 50 episodes developing these great ensemble characters.

But in the next 50 episodes, the ensemble characters fade into the background, and Yuya takes center stage only to repeatedly just smile and want to be like his father.

And in the last 50 episodes, the show gets downright mean spirited. A likable ninja character that has the design of a generic henchmen is killed off unceremoniously, an unlikable legacy character manages to shrug off that fate with ease. 

All the while, the show keeps this upbeat tone of optimism and Yuya triumphing.

And Yuya does triumph, he does save the day, but it’s all wrong. 

I am only skimming the surface here, but the reaction I saw and was invoked in me about Arc-V’s ending was the same reaction I saw with Game of Thrones’s ending.

Something along the lines of “I don’t mind a bad ending, so long as it is tonally consistent and not a confused mess!” 

Were this sentiment unique to Arc-V that’d be it. But it is applies to the end of Game of Thrones, Dexter, Netflix’s Watchmen, damn near EVERYTHING that was popular this past decade. This trend of something having a strong beginning and then fading into tonal nonsense, to the point that the viewers either speculate on finding the “true” “hidden” meaning of a piece

, or worse yet, an active desire for a bad or evil ending, so long as that evil at least makes sense

So I have a bad feeling about all of this. Not just because a series I liked went down the toilet, but because, well, remove all these other mainstream series with promising beginnings that nosedove into the ground and crashed and burned, and what’s the most recent universally acclaimed show left?

That’s it. Breaking Bad. A nihilistic story of personal triumph at the destruction of everything else. Which has its place. But with Arc-V, with Game of Thrones, with all these shows, I see a trend of the absurd entering and ruining a show, which leaves people craving order, even if that order is horrible.

I mentioned Gilbert and Sullivan before, so I’ll end this rambling essay with a quote from a song  from the Mikado that was allegedly almost cut from it.

“ My object all sublime I shall achieve in time — To let the punishment fit the crime — The punishment fit the crime; And make each prisoner pent Unwillingly represent A source of innocent merriment! Of innocent merriment!”

The Mikado is a tale about the absurd and chaotic, the same absurdity that seems to be turning audiences to darker, more orderly, things. But the Mikado showcases both the trouble of the absurd, and the genuine opportunity and chance for grace the absurd provides. 

In my opinion, Problem Play Plots are actually tragedies more tragic than regular tragedies. Borderline horror, even. They bring up problems, and the easiest solution to those problems seems to be that of tragic selfish scheming. But perhaps that needn’t actually be the case. That a benevolent and convincing solution to these problem plots exist - one people can accept, and be inspired by, in a good way. 

And if that can’t be done, if the trauma and chaos of these shows serves no point, then the Gordian Knot of problem play plots must be cut. The damage they have done must be acknowledged, the mystery boxes resolved or done away with entirely.

[kinetic-elaboration]

January 27: 2x04 Mirror Mirror

Had some technical difficulties but finally managed to watch Mirror Mirror. (Now I’m very tired.)

I see these aliens are more intense pacifists than Spock.

When Kirk says “But we won’t [force you], consider that,” right over his shoulder and into camera, it looks like he’s posing for a commercial.

Ah ha, the Classic Transporter Accident. (Aka how that became a classic trope lol.)

I love that they zero in on Spock’s beard first thing, like that’s the weirdest part of this universe.

Oh no, the agonizer!

So my big question is: do all the ISS Captains wear that gold vest or is it a Kirk thing? I just find it very funny that the men in the mirrorverse wear about the same amount of clothing as in the regular universe, and the ladies wear a lot less...and then there’s Kirk, conspicuously showing off his arms. Vests are NOT regulation!

When does he get a chance to record his log? And wouldn’t it be... recorded in the mirrorverse?

Kirk’s salute is hilarious. Uh, yeah, salute and wave, I guess??

He’s really focused on Spock. “Another ship. Another Spock.”

Kirk’s patented reassuring upper arm grab.

Uhura on the bridge! You can’t tell she’s nervous because she’s brave and strong.

This episode, and to a lesser extent The Naked Time, are why I think Sulu has a thing for her. I know it’s a different universe, but I still think it’s true.

Kirk’s salute is getting better. More confident.

He just doesn’t know how to be evil. He’s too good, too pure.

Hmmm, Security Chief Sulu? He really does have a lot of interests.

I wonder what Vulcan is like in this universe. They are still clearly post-Reform. But more ruthless. Scarier. Probably meat eaters.

Damn little Chekov. Just waiting for his chance to mutiny.

Security Chief, like the Gestapo. Did not know that was what the reference was supposed to be.

Hmm, male computer voice. This MUST be an evil universe.

“I’m a doctor, not an engineer.”

Evil Kirk strikes again! Honestly, this scene of the ISS crew on the regular Enterprise might be my favorite in the whole ep. Yet again obsessed with Spock’s facial hair. And Spock is obviously just loving it. “I find it extremely interesting.”

I think Kirk and Spock BOTH know what would buy Spock.

“I should regret your death.” I mean that’s basically a love confession. I love how they depict the K and S relationship in the mirrorverse. The subtle ways in which they’re still a team.

Spock would absolutely have killed Chekov for trying to kill Kirk.

I find evil!Spock the most convincing of all of this universe. I think he simultaneously feels true to the original character, and is also obviously of this universe, and that’s a pretty impressive feat.

“Terror must be maintained or the Empire is doomed.” Print that on a t-shirt.

“Conquest is easy. Control is not.” A lot of the mirror verse is over the top cartoony villainy but this is a very good point, and this scene in general is super interesting and subtle.

Kirk is so tunred on by that conversation with Spock. Like even in these circumstances, he still looks at Spock like he’s in love.

Hmmm, I like Marlena.

Of course evil!Kirk has an on-ship girlfriend, which good!Kirk would never do.

Evil!Spock is still very loyal, so much for all that “I would be a formidable enemy” stuff lol. “You’ll never find another man like him.” Too true.

Of course there’s some plundered alien tech plot device. I actually think that’s an interesting twist in a way... of course the ISS wouldn’t care about stealing, and so some...interesting artifacts might find their way onto starships.

Spock is upset he wasn’t included in this landing party meeting.

Hmmm, Sulu already wants to be Captain.

WHAT? SPOCK HAS OPERATIVES? VULCAN OPERATIVES? WHO ARE THEY? I MUST KNOW MORE. (Is one of them T’Pring?)

Marlena’s Starfleet uniform was hotter than this...paisley nightgown thing.

She’s so dramatic. Kirk is busy one time and she’s like well! I guess we’re over! Transfer me to another ship!

Another Captain Kirk arm grab moment.

I love how literally no one was surprised by that Uhura and Sulu moment on the bridge. “I’ve changed my mind again whoops.”

I can’t believe getting kicked once and then knocked on the head would almost kill Spock lol--seems like probably he might just have a concussion?--but I do like the concept of McCoy risking being left behind to help him. (And Kirk signing off on it because duh.) McCoy is just so good hearted.

Captain Sulu strikes again. Everyone has their own agenda lol. So many obstacles when everyone’s just out for himself.

Haha well that solved that. Zap zap zap and they’re gone.

As suspected, Spock recovered pretty fast. And he goes straight for the mind meld, obviously. That does seem pretty evil of him.

And another obstacle lol. I like that Kirk says Marlena can’t come with them because they can only bring 4 people because of the Calculations, even though... like surely he should already be able to guess there’s another Marlena in his universe and she can’t exactly replace a person who already exists? That would be bad.

Damn Uhura, saving the day again and looking damn fine doing it.

“I must have my Captain back.” Not even subtle about it. He MUST.

The Empire is illogical because it cannot endure.

Is Kirk literally asking this Spock to overthrow his other self and become Captain?

Also...is Marlena going to attach herself to the new Captain?? What does she think of all this?

This is probably one of the best end-of-episode bridge banter scenes in the series. “If I read my Spocks correctly.” Spock is a bit of a pirate. (I think Sarek would agree.) Spock loving the evil humans. Being jealous of Marlena. Kirk probably wondering how Mirror!Kirk and his Spock got along.

I think this is a really great episode, obviously, and I liked all of the intrigue. I thought the double, triple, quadruple crossing was really well plotted. Marlena is one of the better Love Interests and I thought she was really compelling. I LOVED Mirror Spock, and the general characterization of and subtleties to both Spocks. Mirror Sulu was interesting (what does he say about real Sulu I wonder?) and of course we got great Uhura moments and a good Bones moment too. I thought Kirk was interesting in this ep also, not quite confronting his evil side like in The Enemy Within, but...well I do think that was a part of him, the inferred characterization of mirror!Kirk, ambitious, single-minded--”inflexible, disciplined once you’ve made up your mind”--isn’t so outrageous or hard to understand.

I think the weakness of the ep is in the Mirror verse itself. It’s always struck me as a bit too cartoon-villain-y, painted in too broad strokes. Everyone wants to use violence to gain power. If deaths are so common, how has anyone survived this long lol? They allude to this sometimes--Spock not wanting command because it makes him a target, Kirk telling Spock the Empire is wasteful and ultimately unsustainable and thus illogical--but that just invites scrutiny under which the premise doesn’t hold. Imo, an organization like the Empire could never have lasted as long as or become as powerful as the Federation. As Kirk says, control is harder than conquest. I’m not even sure that all of the planets of the Federation could have come together in an Empire, and any allegiance would be very unstable. In other words, I don’t think “the Federation but make it evil” is even a sustainable premise.

Also, while people surely do crave power for the sake of power, I... tend to need a little more in my villainous characterization. Like, when I see that kind of villain, I always think of Price in Mr. Robot: “Every room I’m in, I ask myself ‘am I the most powerful person here?’ and I don’t stop until the answer is always yes.” That really is the core of him--and yet he’s still a subtle villain. That’s kind of the standard for me, I think. To put it another way, maybe the core of all villainy is just lust for power (and/or money) and maybe the best way to get power is brute strength, but the manifestations of evil are usually more subtle: some people who just want power, some people who have more narrow goals and can’t see the whole, many people who have been manipulated, and then just human ills like laziness, ineptitude, selfishness, short-sightedness. Only the most blunt of those traits and instruments really made it into the Mirror verse.

I would have liked to see the mirrorverse be more like... the mob.

...But it is only a 50 minute episode lmao.

Anyway, I find it very interesting that mirror!Spock has Vulcan operatives. His personal security guard is Vulcan, and taking these facts together, I think it’s safe to say that there are more Vulcan officers and enlisted on the ISS Enterprise than USS Enterprise. I’m not sure what to do with that but I find it very interesting. Is he more powerful on Vulcan? Is he more attuned to his Vulcan side? Are Vulcans more impressed with or deferential to him?

Anyway I am exhausted rn and I still have two more days this week so... off to bed. Next week’s ep is The Classic, The Apple.

[slash-em-up]

Marry Your Monsters Pt. 9

When one door closes, look for another door.

TW: Self-harm, suicide attempt.

---------------------------------------

‘What the fuck just happened?’

That was the only thought racing through Miranda’s head as she stared, stunned, at the brushed metal of the door her husband had fled through.

The ache in her shoulders and the broken furniture confirmed the violence of the last few minutes; but the reality of it was so different from the man she’d known for over a decade that her brain couldn’t – it wouldn’t – come to the obvious conclusion.  

Jesse and she were both passionate people and they’d had their fights like any couple… but Miranda has never feared what her husband might do to her, until the moment his hands wrapped around her and she looked into a ferocious gaze she was wholly unfamiliar with.

She rose on shaking legs, wandering absently back to the bathroom where her dress lay discarded on the floor.  

The bare medicine cabinet met her gaze as she glanced up past the sink out of habit.  

Miranda realized unhappily what had probably happened to the mirror.  

Well, if Jesse thought she was just going to roll over and let him do whatever without her having her say… he was in for a big surprise.

She was no ones doormat, punching bag, or fuck-doll god dammit.  

Pulling her dress up with a yank she turned and marched to the door and out into the hallway, prepared to give Jesse the biggest piece of her mind to date; only to come to a screeching halt at the flurry of activity in the main room.

Shrieking and sparking machines spat out heat and noise as several men held what looked like wickedly formed knives to grindstones - while another group unloaded shining, waxed wooden coffins from the back of a truck.  

Miranda pulled herself back behind the wall and watched as Spann and Preston walked into the large room. They appeared deep in conversation – meaning Preston talked as Spann followed with a vaguely annoyed look on her face – and at a word from Preston several of the black-clad workers scurried away to another part of the warehouse Miranda couldn’t see.

What the fuck was going on here?

Moving quietly, Miranda slunk back into the main room, keeping as close to the wall as she could to avoid detection. Somehow, she managed to make it to the opposite hall without getting caught.

She mentally patted herself on the back.  

A cadre of gleaming metal doors met her gaze as she turned to survey her surroundings and she huffed in annoyance.

Of course, there wasn’t going to be a big blinking sign with ‘Shady Business Dealings’ pointing her in the right direction.  

Listening hard for any movement she gingerly began testing the doors.  

Locked, locked, locked... jackpot.

The hinges were silent as the unlocked office slid open, allowing Miranda to slip inside.

Fuck, that’s a lot of black.

The room looked like something Marilyn Manson would approve of – Hot Topic chic at its lamest.  

‘All you guys are missing is the evil cat... literally one step from cartoon villainy...’

A soft snort of amusement escaped Miranda as she wandered through the office – glancing casually at the thin folders – black – the computer – black – the gleaming desk – also black... until she came to a stack of half a dozen video tapes. All labeled with what looked to be city names and some numerical indicator.  

The closest case read ‘Miami #1’ in neat print.

Glancing back to the doorway, Miranda strained for any sound indicating someone was coming her way.

Nothing.

She gently lowered herself into the desk chair and reached to tap on the keyboard, bringing the computer back to life.

The desk drawers were unlocked, allowing her to peer inside as she waited for the home screen to pop up.  

She reached into the depth of one and carefully withdrew a large, mean-looking knife with a serrated double-spine. There were small flecks of brown embedded in the ridges.

Shit...

This was getting worse and worse by the second.  

Maybe her initial panicked thought that Jesse was into gun-smuggling or drug-dealing hadn’t been too far off.

Either way, she owed it to herself and any future she might have with her husband to find out the truth.

Hesitantly, Miranda slowly inserted ‘Miami #1’ into the computer’s drive.

She pressed play.

“... I know you only paid for a blowjob but... don’t you want a little more?”

--------------------------------

“Jesse, there’s been some questions raised as to your ability to continue on as the head of this Organization.”

The nitrile gloves stretched to near breaking as Jesse’s hands clenched.

He just bet there had...

There were very few people in the world who could bring ChromeSkull to heel and unfortunately the five faces staring at him from beyond the large screen in his office fit that description.

The Board felt the need to directly step-in for the first time in over a decade.

Jesse had made sure this was a very, very rare occurrence.

Efficiency and brutality were his trademark, no matter how Preston whined that he was too showy; he got the god damn job done.

For the last eight years as he’d led the Organization after his grandfather retired, he could count on one hand the amount of times he’d talked to all of the board members at once.

His fingers flew angrily across the keyboard.

‘Whatever information you’ve been given is incorrect. My injuries are healing and I’m ready to continue the work.’

An older man with a large handlebar moustache raised a bushy brow at his answer.

“It ain’t so much that you’re not healin’ well. It’s the... Aw hell... how do I say this... It’s your outside relationships we’re concerned about.”

A stern looking woman took over.

“Our source has reservations about your wife – and how she might be influencing your behaviors.”

Jesse blinked behind his mask.

‘My wife has nothing to do with my business here.’

“Except apparently, as of yesterday, she does. Is it not correct that she’s there in the facility with you now?”

If Jesse could have, he would have strangled Preston on the spot.

‘She is.’

“And did you or did you not fall into a ‘emotional state’ when a criticism of your wife’s presence was made?”

‘If you're asking if I disciplined my insubordinate second for making an off-color comment about my pregnant wife, then yes. I did.’

Jesse felt what was left of his lips curl into a snarl at the memory.

‘...And I’ll do a lot more than that when I get my hands on him after this ridiculous waste of time is finished...’ he mentally promised.

Significant glances were sent from board member to board member and Jesse felt his stomach sink.

“I think we’ve heard enough...”

Jesse slammed his fist into the desk, leaving a dent in the metal surface and bringing all attention back to him.

‘You could at least say ‘thank you’ for handling your Cannon problem before we part ways.’

That visibly surprised the five people on the screen.

“What do you mean?”

Gotcha.

‘Jessica Cannon is here. Sleeping off a nice cocktail of sedatives in a coffin.’

Jesse leaned back in his chair as murmurs of disbelief and shock rattled across the computer speakers.

“... That’s very interesting news, Jesse. When did this happen?”

‘Probably while Preston was busy feeding you all his load of bullshit. Sorry, I was getting some real work done.’

“You know who she is then?”

Jesse smirked.

‘You mean, do I know who her father is? Yes. I’m aware. Feel free to send him a little love note. I’ve already forwarded my video files to your server.’

Another quietly muttered conversation crackled over the speaker.

“Alright Jesse. We’ll keep things status-quo for now. But you need to clean house.”

‘I couldn’t agree more...’  

Preston was going to wish he’d never been born once Jesse was done with him.

His torturous plotting was interrupted by one final voice.

“And that includes your wife. Bring her onboard or... handle her. We can’t have loose ends.”

The screen went black.  

------------------------------------------

Miranda stared into the blackness on the computer feeling everything and nothing all at once.

A hysterical voice in her head was yelling how that had certainly explained a lot.

The long business trips, the unexplained scars, the fucking three months without a word.

She supposed getting your face ripped off and your skull bashed in would make video chats a little awkward.

The next thing she knew she was crouching on the cold cement floor emptying her stomach into the waste basket.

All those bodies... those women in the barn... her husband... her Jesse... holding the knife currently sitting so placidly on the desk and using it to decapitate a naked, crying blonde...

She vomited again as the gruesome pictures looped through her head.

She’d been in shock at the end of ‘Miami #1’. Her fingers were trembling and her mind racing as she quickly fed ‘Miami #2’ into the player.

Now she wasn’t sure what she was feeling besides horror.

And there were so many more tapes...

One of the drawers held fucking dozens of them.

Miranda lifted herself to lean against the desk and began to ram her coiled hand into it as hard as she could.

The pain felt... exquisite.

Tears began to stream down her face and her mouth shifted into a rictus grin as she saw smears of blood start to stain where her fists collided with the solid surface.

The clatter of metal on cement made her pause, and her gaze shifted from the blood-stained desk to the razor-sharp knife that had been knocked to the floor as she’d rattled it’s resting place.

Miranda choked out a laugh.

How many people had died on the edge of this knife? How many wives? Husbands? Sons? Daughters?

Why was she the exception to Jesse’s bloodlust?

Maybe she wouldn’t be.  

Maybe that would be the eventual end to all this.

Wife murdered by serial-killing husband.

How anti-climactic.

She reached out and took the knife in her bloodied hand. Dispassionately taking in every little detail as the dull roar of her thoughts got louder and louder.  

A sob echoed through the office as she leveled the sharp edge to her wrist and pressed down.

[thegreymoon]

giuliano de medici?

Obligatory disclaimer here, anon, I’m really not a fan of this show and Giuliano de Medici. I think it’s a terribly written show and he’s a terribly written character, and even though it’s no secret I find Bradley James to be one of the most beautiful people alive, I’m going to go with 

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | 🤗Pretty🤗 | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Mind you, when I say ‘pretty’, I mean so goddamn beautiful I was willing to wade through THREE seasons of utterly infuriating bullshit just for him! (OK, two, because I still haven’t summoned the willpower to sit through season 3 even though I absolutely still plan on doing it 😭😭) I mean, just look at this man’s eyes: 

He’s so gorgeous, I could weep 😭

Also, I’m not going to pretend even for a second that the fact that the costumes gave off such strong Arthur vibes didn’t have anything to do with me sitting through this nonsense and almost enjoying it. When he said ‘I don’t have time for this,’ in this very scene, I got hit over the head with so much deja vu, because it is Arhur’s line, and it was totally Arthur’s delivery! His battle scenes gave me life, but why were they so short? Why was there not more? Why does everything about this shitty show have to be so goddamn unsatisfying? Did the Medici producers not see Merlin season 5? Did they not see what this man can do? Such a wasted opportunity, oh my fucking God! 

Anyway, rant incoming: 

Mind you, I don’t blame Bradley for the unsatisfactory mess Giuliano turned out to be, he did the best he could with the nothing he was given. Only Lorenzo got some semi-decent writing (and even this was not consistent), but Giuliano got such nonsense story arcs, I was sitting there not believing my eyes and ears! I’ve seen gutter trash soap operas with more believable cliche romance! Hell, I’ve seen twelve-year-old girls write better self-insert fanfiction! Even cartoons have better villains than that caricature of a husband, I was laughing out loud at what they were trying to get us to swallow! I mean that line, “It’s not the mask that attracts me, it’s what lies beneath it,” OMG, YOU’VE SEEN HER TWICE IN YOUR LIFE AND SPOKEN THREE WORDS TO HER, JUST SHUT UP!! 😣😫😭

It never gets better, unfortunately, and they wasted the character on this laughable romance instead of doing just about anything else with Giuliano! More of his relationship with Lorenzo, with Bianca, with Lucrezia, or even with Francesco! Hell, I would have even taken Sandro (even though the guy playing him can’t act to save his life and the character is beyond annoying)! Or, I don’t know, and this is just a radical idea here, they could have made Simonetta less two-dimensional and given us an actually believable romantic sub-plot with properly developed characters!

Oh, Gwen, how I missed you! I was forced to eat my words on each and every criticism I ever made about how poorly Arwen was written on Merlin, because it was perfect, perfect writing in comparison! So good, it could be taught in a literature master class! Oh my God, just how do you take two such beautiful people like Bradley and Matilda, put them together and end up with something so infuriatingly nonsensical, forgettable and bland? Colin Morgan has spoiled me and I confess that there was a moment in all my frustration where I had an ugly thought that Bradley James just has no chemistry with women on screen at all, but that’s not really true, because even at it’s worst, Arwen was never this bad and there was never a time when he and Angel actually made me roll my eyes at some of the worst pieces of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Then, of course, there was his performance with Barbara Hershey in Damien, which was on a whole another level of intense, so I have to conclude that the reason Giuliano and Simonetta and that whole ridiculous subplot were so terrible is because the writers could not write for shit. 

Also, as much as I love Bradley, I feel like he was tragically miscast in this role. I just didn’t buy him as Daniel’s younger brother at all. Not only is Bradley older IRL, he has the older brother vibes as well. It’s in his voice, his posture. Better writing for Giuliano notwithstanding, I feel like this show could have been vastly improved if Bradley and Daniel had switched roles. Again, did none of these people see Merlin? Did they not see how iconic Arthur was and what Bradley can do? Because, damn, that man has presence when you give him the proper material to work with, and they took advantage of none of it! I like Daniel, I really do, but even though he was given the best material on this show, he just didn’t fully deliver and I have yet to see him in anything where I am impressed by his performance and not just sitting there for his pretty face.

And since this has devolved into a looooooooong post that no longer has anything to do with the hotness of Giuliano de Medici, let me just mention him: 

Who is this guy and how do I get more of him, because, OMG!  😍🔥🔥🔥😍

He has the most fascinating face I’ve seen in a while, and the way he moves and carries himself is mesmerising! He deserved better-written villainy than what he was given! This show truly did not deserve its cast! Francesco Pazzi was so terribly written, it’s laughable, and yet, here was this guy, stealing the show left and right, in spite of the shit material he was given to work with! Somebody please cast him in something more worthy (preferably in English, or at the very least with English subtitles so that I can watch)! 😭😭

The thing that infuriates me about this series is that they had some fantastic actors here that totally deserved better, such a fascinating period to work with and some of the most interesting figures in history and they spent all their time and money on making them as cliche, two-dimensional, cartoonish and bland as possible.  

Also, I can’t end this post without mentioning how much I loved Sarah Parish as Lucrezia! The woman is perfect, OMG! 😍 The wives, in general, were too good for their husbands in both the seasons I watched so far. The mistresses can go choke, though, and I hated how much they tried to white-wash adultery all over the place. In addition to the poor writing, this show sent out some really gross messages and did nothing to call out all the misogynistic tripe. 

I must exclude Simonetta from my mistress-hate because she died a horrible death, and frankly, other than that, there was not much there for me to perceive her as a real character anyway. I wanted to like her so much because I saw the gifs on Tumblr before actually watching the show, but the writers gave me absolutely nothing to work with and in the end, all I was left with was that she died all alone and with no help or comfort, sick, cold and thirsty, which is one of my big personal fears. The fact that the writers did this to her for no logical reason but to play up Sandro’s and Giuliano’s selfish man-pain - after I really did not buy either of them actually loving her - was just an additional disgusting layer on this poorly written story arc. She deserved better. 

In conclusion, if it wasn’t for Bradley James being pretty, I would have quit this rubbish halfway through season 1 (if anyone is interested in reading just how much I hated it, you can find all my bile here). Season 2 was just as bad, but Bradley, Daniel and Matteo made intolerable characters bearable, which was something Richard Madden was unable to pull off. Of course, all my pure love goes to Contessina, Lucrezia and Clarice, because they were the only characters that I genuinely enjoyed in this mess and didn’t just put up with because I liked the people playing them.