#but i thought about it today and like that's kinda weird to people probably I've never seen one in another bathroom

[eddiestattoos]

I don't know why but I want to know tumblrs thoughts on having a calendar in the bathroom

[neil-gaiman]

Hiya Mr Gaiman!

It's probably unlikely that you'll see this, since ofc you're probably busy rn, but incase you do see this in your inbox but don't have time to answer due to other stuff, i just wanna let you know that i still appreciate you somehow having time to read this lil ask I've sent you! Again, thank you Mr Gaiman!

Anyway, so this would probably sound *kinda* weird in terms of the ask i'm writing to you, but do bear with me!

Ok, so uhh Mr Gaiman, if you were to have the ability to time travel to alternative dimensions/universes, would you go to an alternative universe where Monty Python member Graham Chapman never got throat cancer and was still alive and well and happy in his 80s and living his best life in said alternative universe? If so, why? If not, why?

Again, sorry if it sounds a bit out of league and sorta philosophical in terms of the question for you to answer, Mr Gaiman, but I've been thinking about this for quite a while now and it does make me both happy and emotional to think about if Graham Chapman was still alive today, and if he was still alive today, what kinda projects he would've been in, both in terms of writing and acting? Would Graham still be in contact with the other Pythons? Would Graham probably also have a Tumblr account? (ok that's a bit of a stretch but it's a bit funny to imagine imo).

I certainly think that, if Graham was still alive today, he would've been absolutely happy that same-sex marriage was finally made legal plus many other achievements for LGBTQ+ rights, and that he would've probably gotten legally married to his partner David Sherlock, with the other Pythons being the guests of honour for the wedding ceremony!

I also wonder that, if Graham's adopted son John Tomiczek (who unfortunately died from a heart attack in 1992) were to also live, would've Graham finally become a grandpa/great-grandpa?

Idk, it's just some thoughts that I've been thinking about. Thoughts about the many upon many possibilities of Graham doing lots of stuff today if he were still alive. Things he *would've* and *could've* have had the opportunity to do......that is.....if the universe didn't decide to be a dickhead one day and give Graham throat cancer for no absolute reason, and to make it hurt even more, have him pass away on the eve before the 20th Anniversary of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" airing on the 5th October, 1989.....

Again, I understand if you can't be able to answer rn due to other stuff, but I thought I'd ask you this rather hypothetical (rather philosophical of sorts) question cuz I have been thinking about it for quite a while now, and I wanted to hear your personal thoughts on this hypothetical AU situation!

Thanks Mr Neil Gaiman ❤️

It's a lovely idea. I never knew Graham (although I've met most of the other Pythons, and am friends with Terry Gilliam). I like thinking of worlds in which wonderful people didn't die.

[cityofmeliora]

What do you think about Copia’s childhood? I saw your post about Terzo’s, so I started wondering. Where do you think he was raised, who do you think he was raised by, how did it contribute to who he is today?

YESSSSSS YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE ASK I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR RAAAAHHHH–

ok so first, i just wanna be clear that this post isn't gonna include anything about Cardi's twin because i'm still waiting to see what happens next in the lore before i try to write anything involving him.

with that out of the way,

like all my Ghost headcanons, my headcanons about Cardi are built on the foundation that the band Ghost lore is about 1) an evil satanic cult, and 2) a dysfunctional showbiz family from Los Angeles.

basically, i think Cardi had a very lonely childhood. and he has psychological issues caused by a lifetime of Sister Imperator's insane parenting. his anxiety in Rite Here Rite Now, about how being Papa is all he wants to do and all he thinks he could do, SCREAMS of "unethical Hollywood parent who molded her child to be a star" to me.

i do think Sister 'raised' him, or was at least present in his life since he was a child ("You'll always be my little Cardi.") and she just... didn't him she was his mom / Nihil was his dad. (i guess it's quite similar to children of catholic clergy IRL, who are sometimes raised by family but never told about their true parentage, or know the truth and are told to hide it.)

Cardi is autistic, obviously, but i also think his awkwardness is him being socially underdeveloped because he comes from an isolated cult environment. he was a weird satanic homeschool kid who almost never interacted with anyone outside the Ministry, and he was basically left to watch movies and listen to music and play video games all day. i like the idea that Cardi had dance training when he was young, though. that was probably the only time he really got to interact with others. and because he grew up in the Los Angeles area, on the occasions he did get to go out, he was always surrounded by the entertainment industry and people trying to rise to stardom.

anyway, i think this was all somewhat intentional, or at least worked in Sister Imperator's favor, to mold him into a neurotic showbiz baby in service of her evil satanic death cult. (though i don't think he cares about the cult aspect of Ghost at all. he's been in it his whole life because he didn't have a choice and has never known anything else. he really just wants to be a rock star.) growing up without the love of friends + family, Cardi filled that void with games / music / film. so... of course he wanted to be an entertainer when he grew up– that was his only avenue for human connection.

and i think Cardi kinda knew Sister Imperator was giving him special treatment and pulling strings to put him in position to become Papa, though he never understood why.

a major point in my Terzo character analysis post is that he was very ambitious and he loved being an entertainer and a showman, but he was frustrated because he wasn't allowed to express his full potential. i wrote that his mindset was "i know i'm good enough. and i could prove it if they would just let me."

and ever since i wrote that, i can't stop thinking about how Cardi feels the exact same way.

he's super talented. he's worked very hard. he's proud of his accomplishments. he's proven he's capable! but Sister Imperator doesn't respect him. she infantilizes him. she keeps the training wheels on. she doesn't want him to be capable!

Sister Imperator does not allow Cardi to have independent thoughts or make real decisions for himself. she allows him the illusion of autonomy when she needs to, but every time he shows a little bit of awareness of how fucked up his life actually is, she shuts him down to keep him under control. she purposefully hides information from him so he won't know anything she doesn't want him to know. she intrudes on his privacy because his bedroom doesn't have a door.

i think their relationship has been like this his whole life.

you can see examples of this manipulation / obfuscation throughout the Chapters, and you can see a lot of it in Rite Here Rite Now.

first off, the opening narration gives the context / background information that sometime in late 2021, when Cardi was 51 years old, he found out his two bosses are actually his parents, and his mother kept this a secret from both him and his father his whole life. which is. wild. to say the least.

(i think when he found out, he was disappointed by the realization that he got to where he is because he was secretly a nepo baby and not because he was doing a good job on his own.)

moving on. in Rite Here Rite Now, Cardi's main source of stress was that he fully believed his parents were going to murder him and then put his body on display to sell VIP tickets for his successor's concerts. this was genuine fear, and he had a legitimate reason to believe they would do that to him because they actually did that to his three older brothers! and in the later Chapters, Sister Imperator and Mr. Psaltarian were totally fucking with his head and making him think he was going to die!

he asks Sister why he can't continue being Papa for longer –because he doesn't want his parents to kill him when they're done with him– and she just brushes him off and tells him to keep playing his show. then in the Miasma scene, Cardi has a critical moment of awareness and asks what the hell is actually going on in his life and who's in control.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: One thing I do not understand… All these things… here, all of this stuff, and all of these things we're doing, where we go, and when, and to where… Who decides these things? I mean, who's calling the shots?

this is totally fair! he has a right to know this information!

in response, his parents completely avoid answering the question. they shut him down and basically tell him he sounds ungrateful for the life he has.

SISTER IMPERATOR: You waste so much time and energy worrying about what's been and what's next, who's next and whatnot. As with all things in life, it circulates. Everything that has a beginning has an ending. There just has to be an orderly transition.

she never tells him the truth. she just tells him to stop worrying. stop thinking.

they never tell him they're not going to kill him. They Never Tell Him They're Not Going To Kill Him. THEY NEVER TELL HIM THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KILL HIM.

Cardi spends the last third of the movie making peace with the idea that he is going to die soon and his parents will be the ones to kill him. after Respite On The Spitalfields, he seems resigned to his fate. he tells the Nameless Ghouls they're not doing an encore. he says "Fuck it." but Sister Imperator, still explaining nothing, tells him to do the encore and he unenthusiastically gets back on stage.

SISTER IMPERATOR: Even though you don't understand right now, sooner or later, you will know what I'm talking about. Things –events– are unavoidable. Now you go back out there and give them one hell of an encore. And that's all you have to worry about. PAPA EMERITUS IV: Okay. SISTER IMPERATOR: Off you go.

by the beginning of Square Hammer, he decides he is actually happy with the life he has and he's okay with whatever's coming. and he still expects he's going to die... only for them to totally fake him out.

Sister Imperator dies instead. in the letter she leaves him, she tells him, "My son, I'm sorry I could not find it in my heart to tell you about my condition. I was afraid you might lose your sometimes frail concentration." more obfuscation. more infantilization.

at the end of the letter, she promotes him to head of the Clergy. he takes on his new job assignment as Frater Imperator and he seems to think he'll have more power now that Sister Imperator is "not in charge anymore." i'm not so sure about that.

and this isn't even getting into all the other weird shit going on between them in that movie! why was Cardi literally unable to see her wheelchair and medicine until the Spoksonat scene? why couldn't he remember his twin brother who he spent time with as a child? either Cardi is even more mentally unwell than we know, or Sister is messing with his head in even more ways than we know. maybe both. probably both.

i do believe Sister Imperator loves Cardi. that does not negate the fact that she is also manipulative and dishonest and has no respect for him, and that made her a terrible parent. she caused him a lifetime of unnecessary confusion and suffering in furtherance of her goals. yes, he is often childish and irresponsible. but i think the way she treated him didn't allow him to mature on his own.

the worst part about all this? i think he's convinced himself that he loves her, too. (he doesn't actually know how to feel about her. it would be too painful to think about.)

in summary, to me, Cardi's life is like The Truman Show, except it's the bad ending where the producer (Sister Imperator) successfully convinces him to stay in the bubble.

this was supposed to be a headcanons post and it totally turned into an analysis post, but i cannot help it. i just love Cardi so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT CARDI TO BE SAFE AND HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw i think his actual legal given name is Cardinal Copia Imperator. yeah. i believe Sister Imperator actually named him that.

[inkmemes]

never stop blowing up  (  2024-  )  e02 : and that's whirred up sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  dimension 20's 22nd season.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“i'm just a lanky boy.”

“hello! nobody's home.”

“don't mess with brooklyn.”

“and what if i swallow it?”

“i wish you wouldn't.”

“i'm not hearing no!”

“it's beautiful.”

“you gettin' a little fucked up already?”

“i mean, i feel pretty fucked up.”

“that's for… that's for me? you want me to put that in my body?”

“okay, why don't you try some first?”

“you all right? you're looking a little green around the gills.”

“we can't afford this.”

“oh, um… i'm just being funny today.”

“i didn't get it. it didn't seem funny to me.”

“when you do drugs, sometimes you have ego death and it doesn't feel like you're you anymore.”

“this is paid for? this is, we got this? this is fine?”

“what are you asking?”

“i actually thought we were bonding.”

“wait, so you're not mad at me?”

“nothing you could do would ever make me mad.”

“i'd date him.”

“god, cutie alert.”

“this guy brought dogs to a nightclub!”

“he's really old. he has like, no teeth.”

“just taking notes on a fucking conspiracy.”

“see, when someone doesn't answer right away, you feel the need to keep going.”

“oh, okay, so you're making accusations.”

“i'm like, a little nervous that we left things in a weird place.”

“i don't even know this guy.”

“snort some and then sell the rest for money.”

“i don't want me to be happy!”

“i guess let's have some more of these drinks.”

“i didn't write down where i was supposed to go.”

“what's going on?”

“oh my god, he's dead.”

“you're on top of a building.”

“wait, a man just jumped off of a building?”

“i think [name] is attracted to this man.”

“is this a gun?”

“wait! come with me!”

“did i love him?”

“it was all a blur. i was getting thrown around like you can't believe.”

“yeah, he really gave it to, huh?”

“i wanna go out on the town.”

“we don't have the same room?”

“he left me up here on the street?”

“that was cool, man. i don't know what you want me to say.”

“i've been shot!”

“i've never been in a hotel this nice.”

“it's so hot. it's so hot.”

“there's dead guys all over the ground.”

“the floor is sleek with blood.”

“don't know how to spell that.”

“what the fuck?”

“sneak is like their primary fucking thing.”

“it's crazy that they just straight-up advertise that.”

“dude, this movie fucking rules!”

“i'm gonna need that from you.”

“tell me what i was supposed to do.”

“i think he's just starting to sweat.”

“you are wearing a tuxedo, baby.”

“just getting my sea legs, man.”

“could you send me a ping?”

“come on, man. we got bigger fish to fry. you gonna get hung up on this right now?”

“i've watched this.”

“i can't wait to see you.”

“i'm not the only one feeling pressure.”

“i'm probably not even gonna show up to work.”

“you told me what to do, i'm gonna do it, no argument.”

“i hate doing what people tell me to do.”

“he didn't think you were a shithead. there was trust there.”

“you were given an impossible thing to do.”

“i'm going so fast.”

“i'm still on my learner's permit!”

“i don't know who you're talking about!”

“does it look like the car is like, toast?”

“get outta there. those guys are some bad dudes.”

“i fucking love it.”

“i didn't know!”

“i fucking think it's a great fucking choice.”

“none of these are good enough.”

“[name], i thought you were dead.”

“that's why he hates me and that's why he stabbed me.”

“that's why he hates me and in turn why i hate him.”

“that was a weird interaction you just had.”

“oh, don't worry. i'm not gonna do anything with it. i'm just kinda holding it 'cause it feels necessary.”

“they can take care of themselves.”

“i'm getting it under control.”

“oh my god. this must be my fault. what did i do?”

“i hate new technology.”

“how the hell did you get that number? never call me on that line.”

“they're dancing together.”

“why the fuck are you calling me at the bureau?”

“can i get a second one?”

“oh fuck, they're all dead. they're all fucking dead.”

“goddamn it! [name], did you fuck us?”

“no, don't you fucking hang up on me!”

“we are gonna find a way to make this right.”

“did you get nabbed by the feds? what happened?”

“what do they want you to do?”

“but you know who you are.”

“it made so much sense in my brain.”

“what are you talking about?”

“yes! oh my god, fuck!”

“you had it in you all along, kid.”

“it's crazy. it was crazy down there.”

“can't say i'm surprised.”

“you must not have been invited.”

“that's a really interesting question i'm not willing to open up.”

“don't tell me what to do.”

“and it's weird 'cause it's not… it's like an emotional feeling. it's not a logical thing, right?”

“you're the guy from the movie!”

“i have a motorcycle.”

“we should go to a bar or something.”

“let's go get a drink. i wanna see the town!”

“i'm already deciding that i'm making that for you.”

“i mean, we're in a fucking movie together.”

“it's the '80s, baby.”

“i'm fucking pissed.”

“i wanna get out and i wanna solve this crime!”

“oh, are you looking for companionship?”

“oh, she sounds mean.”

“i think you're getting your groove back.”

“i want an appletini.”

“we're doing a drink crawl or something like that.”

“you look awful. you look bad. worst i've ever seen.”

“what, you want me to pretend i'm happy to see you, [name]?”

“watch where you're going!”

“i was just trying to like, prank.”

“someone wants to decapitate you.”

“you're probably the strongest dude i've seen.”

“just really good to be touched.”

“i think you need it.”

i'll go find parking, but i'll meet you at the hotel bar.”

“oh my god, [name], how are you doing? you look great.”

“oh, you've been waiting for that for so long.”

“wait, what?”

[sciderman]

Sci ngl i assumed you were a cis gay dude back when i was obsessively reading your spiderpool stuff as a teenager. I’m a gay trans man and your comics always felt like a warm hug, truly my comfort doom scrolling — so it’s kinda nice to find out we’re more similar than id thought

bless you anon!! it's a pleasure having you, and i'm so, so glad my comics can be a cozy comfort for you!! kissing you so sweetly

you know, it's kind of funny, i've had an overwhelming response of people who've said they've just assumed i was male by the vibes i radiate and i'm not entirely sure what it means. i'm know you all mean it very reaffirmingly but it leaves me with a lot of questions. like, questions that i want to do further research into.

is there a masculine dialect? like how there are regional dialects? is that a thing? i kind of want to study this now. can you tell someone's gender by the way they talk like you can tell where they're from? that is so cool if it's true. how do you type like a man. what should i look for? i don't know if i've ever assumed someone's gender by the way they type. i just look at their bio and it usually says. and i kind of don't think about it when i type. i type like me. but – i think maybe i pick up the way that i talk from the media i consume (comic books) which is kind of overpoweringly male. overpoweringly populated by male characters, and written by men, y'know.

i think the way i type here on @sciderman is probably softer and more femme than the way i write on the ask-blog. on the blog when i'm answering things as Mod i kind of intentionally mimic the tone-of-voice that marvel editors use. that's an intentional choice. so - when you read what i write here it's closer to my real voice, but over on ask-spiderpool i'm putting on an act. i try to sound like a marvel editor. i call you all True Believers! it's all a persona. i think one of the things that's my strength in writing is falling into voices - i think i could be an excellent ghostwriter, if i needed to be. so very crafty at mimicry.

as a kid i always, always always would mimic the characters i liked from the movies we watched whenever i came out of the cinema. i remember doing that all the time. and it was always boys. (except frenchie from grease. she was my one female gender icon. god everyone hated me for that one. i loved doing the voice. wanted to be her so bad. wanted the pink hair. everything.)

you know,, even now The Very First thing anyone asks me when they meet me is where my accent is from, because nobody believes i'm native to london. it happened today (twice). the way i talk is a little weird. my response,, off the bat,, it's because i watched too many cartoons growing up. so,, i guess maybe i idolised too many masculine role models, and probably didn't have enough female role models. i liked the boy movies better than the girl ones. i spent more time with my dad than i did with my mom. my mom wasn't a good role model. dad says that's probably why i didn't want to be a woman. i didn't have a good role model. (sorry mom). (he's right). all kinds of variables here. i kind of want to do research into it. also i should talk to a therapist.

[hannahssimblr]

The low, blue light from the tanks is relaxing, meditative, even, and though the aquarium is loud with the sounds of small children rushing about and pointing out fish to one another, it’s still peaceful. Maybe it’s womb-like, I don’t know.

We stare at the turtles for ages and laugh about the description plaque, stating that all of these turtles were donated by families who no longer wanted them as pets when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle craze passed. 

“They’re a bit like me,” Jen says, “my parents kinda donated me to Michelle’s family when the novelty wore off.”

I don't know if she wants me to laugh, but I don't think it's funny. The smile slips off my face and suddenly these turtles are tragic figures, metaphors for the cruel, shallow nature of humanity. We just toss living creatures aside and flush them down toilets as soon as they are no longer trendy. Usually Jen would be impressed that I had such a liberal thought without first seeing it somewhere on the internet and adopting it as my own opinion, but I can sense it’s not really the right time to start a discussion about consumerism, or whatever. 

“I’m sorry about your mam today,” I say, “I would have expected she’d at least have the decency to say hello.”

Jen pauses for a long moment. I let the silence go on, and am beginning to think she won’t answer at all when she says, “I don’t know what I expected, to be honest.”

“It’s probably normal to expect your own mother to acknowledge you in public.”

“I just wonder if she’s missed me at all in the last two years.”

I don’t know what to say, “...I’m sure she has.”

“I doubt it, to be honest,” She stares dejectedly into the tank, “She’s had a lot of chances to reach out and make up, I just feel like she won’t do it if she hasn’t done it by now. I think that part of me thought she’d care more, I suppose, but then again I’m not really surprised that she doesn’t. She only had kids because people would have thought it was weird if she didn't.”

“Yeah but if she didn't then I wouldn't have a best friend.”

“You'd be best friends with some other loser if I didn’t exist.”

“Well, I'm glad it's you, is all.”

“I just think it’s a pity when… when love is supposed to be, like, unconditional, but it isn’t. You’re meant to love your kids no matter what, so I just think that if you’re going to give up on them as soon as they do, or… or are something that you don’t approve of then why would you have them?”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Ugh,” she shoves me lightly and turns to sit on a nearby bench facing another tank of fish, “Obviously I know, I was just saying.”

I join her, “I know, I feel the same way about my parents, sort of.”

“Well, I mean, it’s different too, isn’t it? Because Chris and Colette actually do love you.”

I hesitate, “I think they love what I do for them and all, how convenient it is for me to be around and helping with things at home, but I don't know if that's proper love.”

“That’s probably not everything you are to them, like, yeah, you help your mom out with the parenting thing when your dad refuses to be involved with it and that’s hard, but I don’t think they’d ever kick you out of the house and try to forget you were ever born. They brought you with them, didn’t they? When they moved to Ireland, and they didn't have to do that.”

I wish they didn’t. Sometimes I wish they’d just abandoned me at aunt Maureen’s house and let me grow up like the normal American kid I was on track to be, doing normal American kid things like blissfully finger painting awful, shit butterfly pictures in elementary school and going to summer camps with campfires and raft building activities.

Memories of the desert are lit up in technicolour for me now, so clear that I swear I can still taste the air. It was drier, sweeter than the air here. It smelled different too, carrying some indescribable scent that only snapped back into my consciousness when I visited again two years ago and I've had a hard time not yearning for it since. Everything was beautiful. At the house that I used to call my home I would carry my breakfast out to the terrace, hopping on flagstone scorching already from the sun, and just look at the distant mountains, jagged blue, for ages, while the Rio Grande shimmered like a mirage in the dust land below.

It's because of Ivy that we left, though I still don’t know why my parents thought that bringing another child into the world, on purpose this time, would somehow fix all of the tears in the fabric of their marriage. And what about me? What kind of real, genuine good was lifting me out of the place that was making me so happy? But I know it's too late to waste time wondering, and if I ask them they'll just repeat what they've always said about how raising children would be better in Europe, as if they would even know.

“Yeah,” I say to Jen, “I guess that proves they love me.”

“I know what your problem is,” she says, and I’m curious enough about hearing it summed up that I look at her, the tanks throwing moving shapes and colours across her face, “You’ve just forgotten how to talk to them, like, how to really talk about how you feel, and they’ve forgotten how to do the same with you.”

“Hm.”

“You and I are good at talking, I think. We can talk about anything, even really hard things, even when we get upset about it, so I know you have it in you to do the same with your parents, you just won’t. You’re just too awkward now because you’re used to the way that it is, but I think if you just tried to change your habits then you’d probably find that they’d do the same with you.”

I nod. I don’t really know what she’s saying, but it sounds wise in that oh-so-very Jen way. 

“Maybe your parents want to be close to you too,” she continues, “you really don’t know. Maybe they’re just scared that you’ll push them away, and I know you’re scared of the same thing so you’re all just walking around on eggshells trying very hard not to get hurt.”

“Do you think so?”

“Well, they could have just not had you, but they did. They got married because of you, and they wanted to bring you here with them. They still take you on holidays and buy you school supplies and nice clothes and fancy gifts, and even though you are the worst behaved boy of all time you don't get punished half as harshly as you should. Mine learned I was gay and changed the bloody locks,” she sighs, “You’re a lucky boy, actually, like it or not.”

It's always hard to talk about her parents, not just because they were awful, but the casual way that Jen speaks of the event, like she's just repeating some bland school gossip she heard in the locker room. I know it hurts her. It must. The destruction they have done to her is immeasurable, and Jen has become so good at covering it all up, but I know her better than anybody. She’s vulnerable, sensitive and easily hurt, and even when her face doesn’t show it her eyes do. She knows I can tell, which is probably why she refuses to look at me for several moments and turns her face towards the shark tank to her left. 

As for my parents, maybe she’s right, maybe I don’t know how good I really have it, and if I tried to talk to them more I’d be pleasantly surprised by the things they have to say. There are worse parents than mine, evidently. 

We don’t speak again. I just sit close to her in silence while we watch the fish swim and weave between the rising bubbles in their tanks, fluid, free, mindless, until it is time to catch the DART home again. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[greghatecrimes]

Usually I aim to keep my autistic Thirteen headcanons about 85-90% based on things I've seen in canon and as close to realistic as possible. However right now I am in the trenches a little bit, so today's autistic Thirteen headcanon is brought to you by a combination of canon observation, guilty pleasure/wishful thinking, and yeah, a bit of projecting.

Autistic Thirteen & hypermobility

So. I think I established in another post that autism & hypermobility are highly correlated (current estimate is that up to 80% of autistic people experience some type of hypermobility, I believe?), so in the hypothetical of Thirteen being autistic, there's a pretty good chance she'd be hypermobile as well. Hypermobility has a whole range of different ways it affects the body, one of which is decreased internal stability (basically feeling like your body isn't supported enough when you're just standing on your own). As an autistic person with (extremely probable) hypermobility, I've dealt with this my whole life, and there are a whole host of creative ways to work around it and get the body some extra support. I actually see a decent amount of them from Thirteen in canon.

1. Leaning against a chair

This is THE biggest one for me, hands down, without a doubt. Like, literally that exact position. It makes my body feel stable more than any other position I've tried, it reduces soreness if my muscles are tight, and it's all around comfortable. So of course when I saw her doing that, I immediately thought "I wonder if that [autism & hypermobility] could be a reason why Thirteen would do that, too." Even if not for hypermobility reasons: has the vibes of general silly Neurodivergent Stance

2. Slouching and bracing arms against the table for support (while sitting down)

Pretty similar to the first one. Slouching + getting support from the table via arms or elbows gives some extra support to the shoulders, and means your body doesn't have to do all the work of keeping them properly pulled back and in position.

3. Slouching & hugging yourself for support

This one kinda just feels nice because it's like you're simultaneously relaxing (not working or straining to keep shoulders back) and propping yourself up a little extra (arm around the torso in place of a chair or table to lean on).

4. Sitting in chairs weird

Being so real here, I sit in almost this exact position all the time and always have. Knees up, feet on the chair, legs and my side pressed against the arm and back of the chair, nestled into the corner. Optimum placement and position to get the most support from the chair possible. Also just super comfy and 10/10.

Could it just be bad posture or tiredness from some other reason? Is it more than likely that? Yeah. Absolutely. (Ex: Huntington's can cause muscle pain and aches, but I'm not sure yet if that's in the early stages as well as the later stages, or only in the later stages). But, do I resonate with it as a hypermobile afab autistic person, and enjoy seeing a little bit of myself that's been called weird/unusual so casually on TV? Also yeah. And, is it hurting anyone? Nope, not at all.

I'm gonna go take an epsom salt bath and remind myself a bajillion more times that it's okay to write things I want to write, it's okay to write guilty pleasure things, it's okay to see yourself in characters and appreciate it. Sometimes when I write these autistic Thirteen posts I feel "too autistic". But then I step back and think: who am I actually writing this for? The answer is me. And if you guys enjoy it too, then it's a great bonus and I'm glad. As my roommate and I say: writing things for yourself and like three other people on discord/tumblr/etc. is the best and most fun way to write.

[pardonmydelays]

what do you love the most about twenty one pilots?

i fucking love this question, but there's no easy answer to it. i guess i'm gonna have to try tho, because sometimes i feel like maybe some of you don't really understand WHY i totally changed my entire blog when clancy came out (it's kinda like me loving this band was my biggest secret for such a long time, idk. i still remember how a few months before it i've mentioned something and anix literally yelled at me like "WHY THE FUCK YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU LIKE TWENTY ONE PILOTS" lmao. anyway).

first of all, no one has ever made me feel so seen and understood. there's real magic in tyler joseph's lyrics, you might hate me for what i'm about to say right now, but speaking of tortured poets - for me it's not taylor, it's tyler. and the scariest part of it all is that i very often relate to his lyrics. but that's also beautiful - it's therapeutic in a way. so when clancy came out and i realized i relate to pretty much EVERY song on this record, i just thought to myself, oh lord, how did i survive this long without their music. it's always been them for me. i will never abandon them again, i swear.

second thing, the lore. you all know i'm a slut for stories told through music (*cough* musical theatre *cough*). also, if the plot of the story is complex and weird as fuck, there's a pretty big chance it will become my favourite thing in the world. the entire lore is an insane metaphor for mental health struggles so, obviously, i can find a part of myself in it. i would die for their lore, honestly. it's all i can think about. and clancy will always be my fucking blorbo.

another thing i love a lot about them, and it's something you don't really see if you don't watch their interviews or live performances, they are literally just two dudes. both josh and tyler have always been very anxious and awkward and weird and that's what makes them more human in my opinion - just two fucking idiots who are best friends, lmao. they are so relatable in every possible way. they are also the funniest dudes in the entire world. and their friendship is so fucking beautiful. the only difference between us and them, truly, is that they are extremely talented and they have their own band.

also, they care about the clique so fucking much, this was probably mentioned on my blog before (maybe even today in a previous ask). they don't care about the charts, about awards, about anything really, all they care about is their music and fans. they don't do it to be the best band in the world. they do it to save lives - our lives as much as their own (if it wasn't for this music i don't know how i would have fought this). and that's what makes them different and honestly, better than the other artists.

they are also pretty much unproblematic. i wasn't really sure if i should mention that, but i feel like i need to. tyler joseph made one stupid mistake a few years ago - the way people reacted to this still breaks my fucking heart. he realized he was wrong tho, he apologized. the other day i saw a post here on tumblr about how he's fucking problematic and racist and the worst man on the planet etc etc. can we... fucking stop, please. it was just a stupid joke and he knows it was dumb and unnecessary. most people wouldn't even apologize, but he did. end of story. i will defend him with my life (not saying he is perfect, but shit, if you want to cancel him for one mistake maybe you should look at yourself first).

i feel like there are thousand different reasons but i'm just gonna stop here, because it's too fucking long already and no one will read it anyway.

[streetkid-named-desire]

uwu @luvwich tagged me for a writer interview (?!) so let's get to the navel gazing

i tag @wanderingaldecaldo and @medtech-mara

When did you start writing?

Since I was like 8. I'm not joking. When we were selling the condo after I'd moved out my mom and I pruned the "kid art" boxes together because she kept nearly everything creative we ever did. There was this assignment where we had to write our own version of the tortoise and the hare in second or third grade and it was honestly pretty witty. Like, it was still very much in the voice I still write with today.

Then in middle school I wrote vampire rescue stories (girl is mid-assault or nearly assaulted and near death, vampire rescues and has to tun her to save her life, she wakes up in a castle) but it was way more gory. I never finished one. As I got older I dabbled here and there but again, rarely finished something. I've written a variety of short fiction and you can read some of my stuff here.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Nooo. Even with movies I generally stick to horror and sci-fi which is also what I enjoy writing. Although, I do enjoy like literary fiction? Satire? Idk I really love Chuck Palahniuk and Doug Coupland.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't think I've ever been compared to anyone, no. I know my style is influenced by Weird Al, John Scieszka, Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Neal Stephenson, William Gibson. Probably some others but I can't think of their names.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

GOD either my phone in bed or at my desk. My desk is messy and there is a cat bed on it so the cats can be close to me without being fucking pests and walking over my keyboard. I bought a new desk in like June of last year when I first moved into me new place and I...still have not put it together.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Watching horror movies. Also just starting to write. I have to remember to trust and just write, just start writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I will say I was SO shooketh when I picked up A Streetkid Named Desire again, especially for how much of myself, my past, my experiences, my history I put into Bea and VG. Otherwise, recurring themes are cynical optimism, push and pull love, autism, kinda antiheroes, body horror, and complex characters. Not to toot my own horn on that last one.

What is your reason for writing?

I have to. I have to get this story out of my head. I play in my imagination. It's actually the only way I can really daydream, that's why I call it my imagination playground.

Mostly because it's part of who I am. I write. I'm a writer. That's all there is to it.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I have...so few comments. The best ones are about my characters and emotions. But any comment is motivating. Mostly because I'm just putting all this out there and it would be so nice for other people to read and share in this experience because it's not just a story it's kind of baring my soul.

I want someone to see me through my writing.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Eeeehhhhhsgghasgbdf I don't wanna think about being perceived. I think just a good author.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Snappy dialogue and character dynamics.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I feel very neutral until I re-read it on AO3 and go "damn, I really cooked." I kinda get excited when I am re-reading for the first time and it's actually good.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Completely and purely for myself. My story and characters are very close to me and I feel just compelled to tell it. I mostly let the characters decide as I write. I write for myself because it's fun and I like seeing the story in my imagination in my head. I want other people to enjoy my writing too but unfortunately I am not likely going to cater to readers lol

This is why I likely will only ever be self-published if I do publish an original story because I could not fathom or tolerate an editor wanting to cut certain things or make it more marketable or something. My writing is all a part of me and part of my soul and not staying true to that, not writing what I want or how I want is crushing.

[tubbypeddle]

Jojo's Bizarre Adventures matchup with @graveyard-dash!!

(author's note: I'm so sorry this took forever, i'm going thru an awful burnout phase right now, and almost forgot about this. but I remembered! so here I am! credits to original gif owners, as well, I did not make them.)

I'm so sorry this took so so long 😭

seriously, someone told me I looked happier today, and I told him he must be mistaken bc I've been so drained for the longest time there's no way I look happier than the last time u saw me

Anyway!

let's get into it!

You find yourself wandering around Hong Kong.

It's 1989.

It's scary all by yourself.

Of course, you find yourself in the middle of a battle you had no idea was going to happen.

And you're saved by the man who'd been on fire five minutes ago,

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

You found yourself in the middle of his battle by accident. You followed the noises of commotion, hoping for a story to tell your friends.

Instead, you find this tall Frenchman in some weird battle that you can't really fully make out with some Japanese teenager and an intimidating Muslim man.

He finds you absolutely charming. You're probably not all dressed up, but that's not what draws him in to you. It's not your piercings, or your clothes, or your makeup, or your pretty dark hair.

It's your eyes. There's something in your eyes that reminds him of a life he's always wanted to live out when he was a kid.

A 'happy wife, happy life' kinda life.

It's after the fight that he promises to find you. He has to leave to follow them on their journey to Egypt, but he promises to come back to you, wherever you are.

It's a big scene, dramatic and filled with what you thought were empty promises, however charming he was.

But he keeps to his word.

You've since returned to your home country after touring around Hong Kong, but he still managed to find you. Showed up to your door with a big bouquet of flowers and everything.

Your relationship from there is beautiful.

You're both pretty touchy people. Polnareff likes to have his hands on you whenever he can. An arm around your shoulders, a hand in your back pocket. Just holding hands. He won't ever let you do anything without him hovering behind you.

You're drawing? He probably has his chin hooked over your shoulder, just watching as you draw. (He definitely asks you to draw him)

You're baking? He's right behind you, clinging onto you like a lost puppy.

He stays away while you're cooking though. He's scared of the Gordon Ramsay in you. Absolutely terrified.

You know his saying. 'Happy wife, happy life'. I mean, you're not his wife yet, but you will be. He has no intentions of ever living a life without you, so you'll have to marry him eventually. When he inevitably pops that special question.

The two of you are absolute gossip QUEENS.

Polnareff always has the juiciest tea, since he's started working with the Speedwagon Foundation. He likes to eavesdrop on classified conversations just so he can report back to you.

He used to gossip like this with Sherry all the time, and since finding you, he's just happy he can gossip away without being hardcore judged for it (Kakyoin)

He absolutely adores the gifts you get him. They're always on display somewhere in his house back in France. (To be honest, he probably takes you back to France with him as soon as possible. Sweeps you off your feet back to the city of love)

Tough, be careful, because as soon as he gets that Speedwagon paycheck, he's spoiling you as often as he can. Any little thing that you even look at with any sort of interest, Polnareff will buy it for you. So I hope you have plenty of storage room for his dramatic gifts.

It's absolutely perfect that you find humor to be one of your favorite traits in other people, and yourself.

Because get ready for plenty of laughter in your relationship with him.

He loves telling jokes, and loves making you laugh in any way he can. And he loves that you're the same. Aside from having his hands on you at all times, another requirement for a relationship with him is the laughter.

He's a silly guy. He doesn't mind being the butt of the joke at times, if it means you'll laugh.

-=-=-=-=-=-

again, I literally cannot say it enough, I am so sorry for the ridiculously long wait

i, like, speedran this in the span of two nights bc I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer than you had to

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT

[williamaltman]

Life is Strange 2 thoughts/feelings/review

So, Life is Strange 2. I finished the game yesterday and watched the other endings today. Things are not as fresh in my mind as if I had just finished and I talked a bit about it in other places so this feels a bit hard, but I'll try to lay down all my thoughts...

First of all... All my homies love LIS2, fuck you if you don't like LIS2! Seriously though, for years I've seen people say that the game wasn't good, that the characters weren't as good as the ones from the first one, that the Sean/Daniel relationship wasn't that interesting... I kinda did suspect it was just nostalgia goggles or whatever, but now I know for sure. I don't think there's anything wrong with connecting more with LIS1 and having a deeper relationship with it, but in this case I think you shouldn't even be comparing them and expecting the game to live up to that to you in the first place.

Now, onto the actual game. God, this was so fucking heartbreaking. I think I cried in every single episode. The very core premise of the story is just so sad, so unfair, and despite the powers so rooted in reality that it left me legit feeling uncomfortable with how fucked up their whole situation was. There are good moments, sure, but honestly every single thing that happens from the moment their dad is shot is just... Not how their life should've had to be.

Sure, LIS1 and BTS had dark themes too. But here, it's like, they lose everything from the beginning. Sean doesn't get to go to his party, to hang out with Lyla, to continue his normal life in any way. Daniel loses a part of his childhood. They're both forced to grow up so much faster than they should. There's a line Sean says in episode 3, and it's just a little idle VO, but it fucking crushed me, "Stop overthinking. You're not a teenager anymore". Even though he's fucking 16... He's 16 and he has to essentially become a parent. I knew what the game was about and lowkey followed it a bit when it was releasing, knew a few spoilers, but that didn't make anything any less heartbreaking.

I thought it was beautiful how the game took the opportunity to showcase and celebrate alternate lifestyles. The "family", Away, their freedom and how they interacted with society brings so much into perspective. I'm still a bit conflicted about Karen tbh, but I'm glad that at least they did show something beautiful through her story.

My biggest problem overall is probably how they handled the Finn romance route... I knew back when the game was releasing that despite adding a male LI, they pushed the female one more onto you and gave her more content, while locking the option to kiss him with a "bad choice" (I didn't know what exactly it was). And yeah, that is still true. I still think it was a mistake to lock the kiss with accepting the heist, and while I kinda understand the writer's explanation for that, I still think it could've been handled in another way, or they could've just let him kiss you and "betray" you by doing the heist anyway, since he still does that when you're friends lol.

I see people complaining that because they moved from place to place each episode, there wasn't enough time to connect with the characters... Idk if I'd say I disagree, but it just wasn't really the case for me. I was very invested in all the relationships, in Finn, Cassidy, Jacob, Chris, Karen. Everyone at the farm was cool and everyone in Away too. Lyla. You get so many tidbits about the characters even when they're not there on screen. The only thing I have to say which is kinda related to that, is that I think the time jumps were maybe a bit too big, and that the way they handled Mushroom was... weird.

I got the Parting Ways ending, and I'm satisfied with it. I kinda planned to get it, but only in the sense that I was spoiled that you get with Finn there. I didn't know that the whole morality thing had anything to do with it, and I played the first two episodes without even knowing that there was a points system about that and about brotherhood. I just made all the choices that were high morality (besides killing the cougar and the heist) because it was what I would do, and tried to be a good brother for Daniel. I figured that choosing to cross the border would most likely give me that one, but I just couldn't accept Sean having to go to prison for 15 years for something he didn't even do. If we were able to choose between Parting Ways and Blood Brothers, then I would actually be conflicted about which I wanted.

With the way the game's system works though, where you need to have low morality to get Blood Brothers, I couldn't really do it. I can't imagine myself teaching Daniel to be selfish and not care about killing people. I actually think it's super cool to watch Daniel use his power offensively and fuck shit up, but it just wouldn't be my version of the story. It's funny because, if we just played as Daniel, I wouldn't mind going that route. But since we play as Sean, with it being our job to raise Daniel, I feel a different kind of responsability towards leading him to become a good person. I also think it's beautiful that he gets to have the rest of his childhood, teenagehood, and live a "normal" healthy life with his grandparents. He does it in the redemption one too, but as I said, that just screws up Sean too much.

So, I'm a little disappointed that they're separated (and maybe can't ever see each other again? I'm a bit confused about Daniel's situation and whether he could visit), and that it's a bit shorter than the others (at least than the redemption one), but it IS the ending my playthrough led to and in that I'm satisfied.

I think this story is just incredible. It touched me so much, and the fact that some people can't see it genuinely frustrates me. The people complaining it's too political in particular can just go fuck themselves. It might not be perfect, but like with all things I appreciate, I'm just so glad it exists.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #256

I think I must still be in a bit of a funk. I don't feel quite as bad off as yesterday, but it's still not great, for reasons I don't fully understand.

Well, that's all right. I still went to work, and I still had a pretty great time there. I made cookies and turnovers today, and Ma put the turnovers into nice, neat little boxes:

I spent most of today bagging different kinds of breads and rolls, though, which was also nice. Bread has a lovely smell to it. The routine tasks and the nice smells are a boon to my frazzled brain. I think I must be more overwhelmed from a variety of things than I thought.

...I keep looking for you in various little ways, but lately, I guess it's kinda hard to find things that aren't... weird. In a lot of places, people depict you in a variety of cynical, cruel, and just... generally very unhealthy ways, as though you were violent, vicious, and mean from the very moment you took your first breath, and... I dunno. I guess it's disheartening and disconcerting. I've been spending less time in the various places online that I used to frequent, because of it.

...The uncertainty of whether or not any of the things I've tried to do for your sake will pull through is also feeling relatively unbearable at the moment, for some reason. Three years is a long time to withstand not knowing whether or not someone I've come to care deeply for, someone around whom I've tried to model the kind of person I want to be, will simply up and vanish from existence.

The idea that you might disappear instead of heal and move on terrifies me. The idea of watching you be mercilessly slaughtered a second time... it terrifies me.

...I'll get through it, though, so don't you worry about me. After all, what other choice have I got?

When I returned home, J was absent; he was supposed to go see a demolition derby somewhere I guess, but he changed his mind and went on a walk with one of his friends instead. He took some pictures for you along the way; he captured some pictures of a cute little snake, and some pictures of raindrops on leaves:

...You are loved. And not just by me. Do you see...?

...

I thought I was going to play some Dead Cells today, but J had a lesson at Great Barrington and he wanted me to come along, so I did. He drove, but... I wasn't really inspired by the scenery. I managed to snap a couple of relatively decent ones, but... I dunno...

...I guess I'm not really feeling especially proud of these today. But I hope you like them at least a little, anyway.

I think I might go to bed early. My brain has had enough of today, and I think I'm probably hoping that tomorrow I'll wake up and stop feeling so weird.

...Hey. I know you said that you've endured hell and so you're not afraid of death anymore. But like. Don't... don't give up and just die without putting yourself in a position where you can learn what heaven is like. It's out there. And I know it's out there, because I didn't used to think it was out there, either. And then, against all odds, and with a little bit of work, it kind of plopped in my lap unexpectedly. And I've been doing everything in my power to maintain it ever since.

...I know heaven is real because there's heaven at my house. And I know it, even on icky days like today, when it's hard to see. I know it because I practiced looking for it. Because finding heaven where you look is a skill that can be practiced, like any other. Cultivating a mindset that leads to heaven dropping unexpectedly into your lap is a skill that can be practiced, like any other.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow. So please keep yourself safe out there. Please.

Your friend, Lumine

[angelofverdum]

BEYONCE by Beyoncé

I've been listening to this album none stop and I don't know why.

Since March I've been going From Las mujeres ya no lloran to Cowboy Carter nonstop, they got me like

But I said mmm let me go listen to these two queens' whole discography, after I finished I went back to Beyonce's self-titled and I'm stuck there.

The first time I heard a song from this album I was still learning English, so I was like what the hell is a "Partition". I know I know, but I was tiny with pure thoughts.

I barely remember when the album dropped but the world was in shambles, I wasn't a fan then but I liked some of her songs, mostly the singles.

Everybody was talking about Partition because of the damn chair, but to me, the song sounded crazy like the rhythm was wrong, idk what it was but I didn't like it.

But I kept coming back to Partition even tho it sounded weird to me, but I was like this this:

Anyway, BEYONCE is the album that made me a fan, a few years later tho, I knew more english and I've matured. I listened to the album again and realized what a masterpiece that album is.

It's my favorite album from her, all the albums that have come after are probably better because Beyonce keeps growing as an artist and even today she hasn't peaked which is scary but BEYONCE is like an after and before of her career.

It feels like she said fuck commercial success, and I know she's been saying this since 4, but what she did was very risky and she made history.

BEYONCE is my favorite album because she was having fun, being horny, bisexual, and got a bob, how can I not love this album.

Like did she need to do all of this? no, but she did and we are thankful.

So I'm gonna talk about every song in her album because I feel like it

1. Pretty Hurts.

I think this is her weakest opening for an album. It's not one of my favorite songs from her in general but it's not a skip like people like to say, and somehow set the tone for what the album is. Also watching Beyonce throw up was shocking to me as an easily impressionable young girl.

2. Haunted.

Probably one of her less commercial songs but a masterpiece nonetheless. It's so so SO good, I wish I could eat this song. "Working 9 to 5 just to stay alive" She is so right for that and "Probably won't make no money off this, oh well" with the ghostly voice. A masterpiece through and through. "My wicked tongue where will it be". One of my favorite videos too.

3. Drunk in love.

Beyonce is a very horny person she put all of that in her art but when she sings with Jay-Z I feel they often get too close to giving too much information bc why was Jay saying they conceived Blue in Paris at the OTR tour? Me, personally I didn't need to know. Anyway, this song is a hit, it's better than Crazy in Love (a timeless hit) but not as good as Deja Vu.

But hello? The surfboard line and the "your breastesses in my breakfast" line. Just horny people and like he said "My wife Beyoncé, I brag different" I'll be like that too.

Also, this iconic dance that I have to do every time I listen to the song

4. Blow.

Her horniest song until now when she released Desert Eagle. "Can you lick my skittles in the middle" "Pink is the flavor" "I can't wait 'til I get home so you can turn that cherry out" the whole song is crazy and the best part she doesn't even say a bad word or an explicit phrase.

Well, "Gimme that daddy-long stroke" is kinda nasty. Also, what does she mean by this?

Does she want to taste that pink flavor? Ok BIyoncé

5. No angel.

In this song, Beyonce is saying that no one is perfect, not even her, and that if you are in a relationship you have to work hard and fuck harder

"Stop actin’ so scared, just do what I tell. First, both of my legs go back on your head. And whatever you want, yeah, baby, I’ll bet it comes true"

And we should listen bc that's on 16 years of marriage

6. Yonce/Partition

The best song on the album. The badassery in Yoncé. The bisexualism that is the video. One of the best bars ever written for a song "I sneezed on the beat and the beat go sicker". The song is so perfect and sexy and nasty. "I don't need you seein' 'Yoncé on her knees"

In this song, she is supposed to be singing to her man about having sex in a car but she is also fantasizing about a threesome with another woman "The kind of girl you like is right here with me"

She had a woman liking her neck, appearing from between their legs and touching her sensually. Oh, Partition you'll always be famous.

7. Jealous

This is the kind of song that made me wonder how much of this was biographical and how much was imagination. Here she talks about waiting for him at home and she says something similar in Lemonade. I don't want to repeat myself but I really love this song. It's just so good.

Also wtf Jay? She is in her penthouse half-naked, cooking a meal for you naked. So where the hell you are?

8. Rocket

I think this one is the only song I had trouble liking it. And I know now that is a good song, don't love but I like it enough to not skip it. Beyonce asks from the jump if she can sit her ass on you. What's not to like? She is guiding you through the whole song"Hard rock, Steady rock" and "Got me screaming to the lord" I just know she has Jay tired.

9. Mine

This song is so good that I can listen to Drake's annoying ass. I wish it was her voice only. Her part is so good "I'm not feeling like myself since the baby" "Me being wherever I'm at worried about wherever you are" also "Alone in my place my heart is away" You'll crumble Sean Carter for making her feel this way.

10. XO

It's crazy how this song makes me feel so nostalgic. It's like it brings happy childhood memories. That kind of feeling makes me love and appreciate this song so so much.

11.***Flawless

She went to the studio mad as hell, ready to invent feminism to tell the haters fuck you.

12. Superpower

The most underrated song on the album. Still relevant to this day. Pharrell and Boots did their thing with this one, and Beyoncé of course. And the social implications, the feminism, the iconism, the cultural significance of this moment right here:

Destiny's Child, you are so loved by me.

13. Heaven

Heaven makes me so emotional. Letting go someone you love is not an easy thing to do. Boots is pretty good at what he does.

14. Blue

The iconic Blue Ivy Carter. Imagine your mom is Beyonce and she writes one of the most beautiful songs for you. It's not my favorite song and it's definitely not her best close song for an album (That goes to Summer Renaissance).

Platinum edition

Yes, I'm writing about these six tracks because the cowboy lady decided that the platinum edition will be the only one available on Spotify, even tho everybody knows that the deluxe versions of an album always suck and the standards are always better.

1. 7/11

This is one of her most fun videos just laughing and dancing. However, why is she saying that she wants to "Kick it" with a girl and a guy? Also, this is the song she chose to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in the US and this is how she perform live that damn song

Jay-z you'll pay for getting to her too young and not letting her experiment.

2. Flawless remix

Nicki did her thing she was the best rapper in town. The Beynika stans were born and they were claiming Nicki and Bey were in love. Fanfics were created. You had to be there. The song is fine. I can listen to this version or the solo version, it's the same to me.

3. Drunk in Love (Remix)

Nobody listens to this song. A skip totally. Like Kanye should just shut up, thinking he can do a decent verse next to the best rapper in the game and Jay-Z. Beyonce was wrong for inviting him.

4. Ring off

I'm not going to say anything nasty because I support women's freedom and Mama Tina getting out of her sad marriage because it was time she put her love on top.

5. Blow Remix

Shut up Pharell. Coming here to ruin a perfect song.

6. Standing on the song remix

The Creole lady said you gonna get the remix and you gonna like it. I'm giving this song its 8.5 for giving me latinyoncé.

"Mix up passion with fruit, sangria BB Cubana, ay, qué lindo ya tú sabes, camino como cocino, primo"

Grown Woman

I know this song is not a track on the album but I wanted to include it on this list because first, it's so good, and second it's fascinating how Beyonce did this for a Pepsi commercial, release a whole ass video on the visual album, and only 10 years later she put it on streaming. She is crazy.

Nothing else to add besides BEYONCÉ is so important to the music industry. It popularized visuals (She doesn't do that anymore tho) and established Friday as the official day for music releases.

After this Album Beyonce has been releasing masterpiece after masterpiece.

I'll stop yapping now after saying I love Beyoncé and we should invent immortality for her.

[dnalt-d2]

SO QSMP PRISON, RIGHT???

Day 1 Edition lmao

To start off with, I'm really happy to hear my little theory about the Prison essentially being the safeguard for the Islanders against the Eye Workers was correct (Or at least seems to be so far)

But now for my thoughts on TODAY

THE FIRST DAY OF THIS FOUR THREE(?) DAY LONG EVENT (More on that later)

First off, who else thinks it's incredibly weird the Watcher was suddenly British?? He was DEFINITELY not British before, and unless this was just some unavoidable thing they had to do for just today, that probably means something

Specifically that this might not actually BE the Watcher. Or at least not the same Watcher. Even aside from the voice difference, the way he talked seemed to be a little different to me. I'm not sure what this could mean Lore-wise, or if it means anything at all, but I just really wanted to bring attention to it in case it was

Secondly, am I the only one who felt like today was just too…Casual? For lack of a better word. This didn't feel like some big thing the way Purgatory did. For better, in my opinion. But it's still strange that this feels so lackadaisical considering the circumstances. All the Islanders, and the Eggs are locked up, with the Federation keeping them under lock and key and being MORE THAN GENEROUS with the use of deadly force

(RIP BBH and IronMouse. RIP Over and over and over and over-)

Idk, the vibes here feel really weird to me, and I'm not sure what to make of that either. Like maybe someone's trying to downplay how serious this is all gonna be in the long run. It's hard to put into words

Though I will say they were very FUN vibes regardless. This was fucking hilarious and I enjoyed just about every second I saw of it. Short as it was (Poor BBH once again, having his time cut short. What will he even do for the other 20 hours of the day if he only gets this much time in the server? Certainly not sleep, I imagine lol)

There's also the mystery of that ghost (Cellbit) that's haunting the place, but again, Idk if this is a lore thing, or Cellbit wanting to get in on the action even though canonically, his character is off being insane on Purgatory. He might be kinda the same way Abueloier is most of the time, you know?? I feel like he's definitely gonna be related to any lore that happens, but at the same time, I'm not too sure I'd be surprised if that wasn't the case either

(Just to point out, I don't think Abueloier is related to the Lore. Roier just wanting to screw around, and frankly, power to him. Even IF Ratoier would've gone hella hard here. Fuckin rat in the prison robbing people at gunpoint would've been HILARIOUS and I really hope to see it before the event is done)

Though this kinda brings me back to my second point, that I'm actually having a hard time telling if stuff that's happening is Lore, or just players/admins screwing around or changing things for the sake of content or otherwise

Usually, I'm pretty good at discerning what is and isn't incidental, but here, I've said at least a few times now that idk what is and isn't lore. And I think that's kinda what's contributing to this whole thing feeling off to me. (Not in a bad way, I wanna reiterate. I'm having a hell of a lot of fun here)

So yeah, to wrap up my thoughts on this, Prison is fun so far, and I can't wait for the insanity to continue tomorrow

(And note: I do have one additional thing to say about this event as well, but I wanna put that in a separate post so I can make sure I've got all my thoughts together)

Now back to our own Purgatory of waiting for Day 2

[sciderman]

Reading New Mutants #98 is such a wild experience because Wade still acts as the snarky and kinda sadistic shit talking queen of mercs, but he's also like...super menacing and competent too? Especialy next to today where people fuck him up like a noob, seeing him taking out a group of mutants with gadgets and tricks, body Nathan and having to be taken out by a suprise element was a true shock...and i kinda love it? Like, Wade shows up and he's actually a threat, but a threat that doesn't even take you seriously, he insults you but is also oddly polite to his main target. What is your take on the original version of Wade?

interesting question! really really reaaaally interesting question! new mutants #98 is an issue i've read like, a million times because newer comics always always always recontextualise it - so you find out, wait - domino was vanessa in disguise, so actually, she probably had an insight on how to take down wade better than anyone else - wait, nathan knew wade as someone who saves his life so was probably pulling his punches actually - wait - the guy who sent wade to kill nate was actually nathan's SON?? like there's five million plot twists that come after new mutants #98 that get me rereading it over and over.

i do love that wade's introduced as someone who is equipped and prepared – he definitely was more competent in the earlier comics, he was perpetually a threat, and always had just the contrived weapon in his arsenal needed to take out certain mutants with certain powers.

they kind of gradually started stripping him of all that - i think when he started making the transition from minor villain to empathetic anti-hero, they started stripping him of his teleporter belt, his image inducer, his swiss-army-knife arsenal that made every fight too convenient for him. and now - now he's just a guy with two swords and maximum effort.

i'm not saying it's bad – buuuut... i love the mission impossible movies. i love impossible gadgets. it's so much more fun to see than just, you know, guys hitting and slashing at each other. give me stupid weird gadget that wade has tucked away in some pouch belt of plot convenience specifically to take down this specific guy with weird specific powers. give me a competent wade who did all the research before going into the fight. not a wade wilson who kind of coasts by with dumb luck and gumption.

but - you know, on the topic of wade being hyper-competent in new mutants #98 it's - kind of not something i believe, either. sure, he's a menace to those kids but - remember, he does still get his ass handed to him in a humiliating kind of a way. what a start to his career. and these guys aren't shaken at all. no "oh my god. this guy is someone we should worry about. we should worry about letting him free." no. wade is shipped back to his employer in a box. there's no worry that he might come back angrier. deadpool's kind of a joke.

nathan summers does often maintain a level-head in general - buuut, i just don't think there was any moment in that fight that nathan really thought he was going to lose against wade. there was no "oh no, all hope is lost" moment. wade was just quick with his punches, sure, but i don't think the cards were actually in his favour. nathan wasn't incapacitated, and would have easily taken wade down.

he kind of just didn't want to, i don't think.

i think maybe he wanted to see what wade could do. and i think if nate really thought wade was a threat to the kids, nathan would have protected them more fiercely. there's no reason at all why nathan couldn't have so, so easily just - yeeted wade out of the building. wade really, really wouldn't have stood a chance if nathan really saw him as a threat to him or (especially) to the kids. nate's training up these kids. he probably saw wade as just - adequate practice for them, but no real threat. wade is completely manageable for him.

i think later on wade gets savvy to the fact that nathan usually pulls the punches with him.

nathan could so, so easily just...

if he didn't want to deal with deadpool.

i think vanessa probably knew that too. and i think that's why she stepped in when she did - because she probably thought if wade pushed too far and trod on one of nathan's nerves, it would be the end for wade. so she neutralised him.

i write a bit about it in i love you, wade wilson - my beloved fic about deadpool's early days.

[sakuracoloring]

Cami's Commentary #6 - Random

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「ようこそ！」　。。。

Good morning/afternoon/night to whoever may be reading this! It's late but I feel like writing stuff, so here we go :)

JLPT: I did the JLPT/日本語能力試験 (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) on Sunday for the N5 level for the first time :D Honestly, I feel like I went well (my main concerns were my phone ringing out of the blue, even though I had turned it off nicely and it was in silent mode, and not being able to hear the audio part, but thankfully everything went well) and I really hope to pass. If I do, I'll probably start studying for N4 as soon as possible (though I don't think I'll be prepared enough to do the December test already), but let's see how it goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never been so excited during a test before lol

MOVIESSSSS: I surprisingly woke up early today and chose to not be a lazy bum who watches youtube shorts on her bed for like 2 hours, so I decided to watch some movies! (yippeeee) :D I started out by watching Little Darlings, which I really liked. The story was pretty interesting, the main leads had believable acting (which is hella important), and shaggy hair Matt Dillon my beloved was there (which is even more important). Kinda unrelated but I feel like his shaggy hair era is a bit forgotten :( Idk, I just find more about his Outsiders era and nowadays on here and pinterest, so that's kinda the impression I get from the fandom/fanbase (Idk if I should call it that). Anyways, it was funny and emotional at the right times (and Randy was adorable), so I'd give it an 8/10. I then watched Juno, which has been on my watchlist for a pretty long time, and I loved it :3 It was better than I expected (though I did not expect to see Dwight's actor and Spiderman's J. J. Jameson's actor there lol), and the ending scene made me squeal as if I were watching a cute cat video. Solid 10/10. Finally, I watched Liar's Moon. It was pretty good ngl, (Matt looked so handsome wtf) but the whole possible incest plot twist thing was hella weird, so I'd give it a 7.5/10. Feel free to give me any movie suggestions :) (especially if Matt Dillon is in it lol)

The Outsiders on roblox: Idk if any of y'all play roblox, but I do (been using the same account from 7 years ago lol, it holds many memories) and I thought of searching ''the outsiders'' on it to see if there were any games ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and so there's these two(?) games, but only one of them is mainly played by roleplayers n stuff. So a few weeks ago, I remember going there and always seeing the same two Ponyboy and Johnny roleplayers (I even remember talking to a girl who wasn't roleplaying and she was pissed that people shipped the greasers together lol), and like, they were ALWAYS on there. I'd log in at 7am, then like 9pm of THE SAME DAY and they'd be there. I also tested this on multiple days. And just them yk, not even a Dally or TwoBit to be there too, and even now when I don't see them that often in game, I always ask myself ''are they gonna be there?'' lol Also, I've also played the Cherry Valance obby (not bad), and the beginning of the obby mentions it's based on the Darry obby, which I haven't been able to find, so if anyone has the link, please lmk :3

I have to sleep rn (doctor's appointment tomorrow), so that'll be it for today. Thank you so much for making it this far into my written yap session :) I really appreciate your attention <3

See you next time! ☆

-Cami