#but i think that's just because i have strong opinions on everything i cannot be normal about anything

[monstrsball]

thinking about that time i saw someone hc iwaizumi as a swiftie... you're so wrong. that man does not like pop music, i know this to be a fact.

[shitpostingsapphic]

Why I don't feel disappointed by Vi's arc, but you might

I usually have pretty strong and polarizing opinions when it comes to my takes on Arcane, but this is one where I wanna open up the discussion a bit more and invite people to my perspective, and it's fine if you don't see it this way.

I think there are two primary reasons why people feel disappointed by the arc of s2 Vi. The first, being that Vi had stronger voiced concerns about the state of Zaun in the first season. The second, being that she spent the whole show wanting to be with her sister and she didn't end up getting that.

Why I actually feel fulfilled in Vi's arc has to do with these two points, and I invite you to sit with what I have to say next.

Both of these parts of Vi have to do with her fatal flaw: her neglect of self.

We know two things based on what the creators have said about the show: the theme of Arcane is the cycle of violence, and the entire show was written together, instead of season 2 being written after season 1 production. From this, I can then ask: what do the creators want to tell their audience about this message, knowing they wrote it all out together, knowing the events of season 2 were very purposeful, using Vi as a conduit for that message?

If violence is a cycle, can one person defy it? No, of course not. At the start of Vi's arc, she wants to be a person that breaks it, though. She wants to change things in Zaun, wants a better life for her sister. As season 1 continues on, she wants to pick up where she left off with Powder without truly processing the gravity of the years between them. She thinks she can hold the world on her shoulders and fix any problem that comes her way. She thinks she can use her fists to make progress, thinks she can physically reach out and create change, but it only contributes to the cycle. And that's not because she's morally in the wrong when she does so, but she doesn't grasp yet that her fists can't fix everything. Vander tries to tell her as such in act 1, and it's a lesson that goes beyond just the literal application.

Vi's tendency to try and fix everything around her leads to her neglect of self. Inevitably, when you try to change things you have no control over, it leaves wounds. It leaves a person feeling like something is deeply wrong with them. And we watch Vi go down this spiral. I actually find myself really brokenhearted watching Vi in the first 2 acts, because I think she represents a lot of us: we see pain and devastation around us, but we don't know what the right thing to do is. We try different tactics and try to fix things and are left wondering why things feel worse than how they started.

I think that's something a lot of viewers could benefit to reflect on: I think in watching a show with strong political messaging, we yearn for a message that tells us the answers to these big problems. Truthfully, most of us don't have a fucking clue what we're doing. We want change but don't know how to see it through. That includes the writers. This isn't a show about the solution to political strife. It's about the cycle of violence. It's about not knowing how to change something that's been continuous throughout history in some form.

If we put ourselves in Vi's shoes, it would eventually take a toll on us to try and change something that isn't within our ability to change. Vi can't fix the problems in Zaun. Vi can't change the way time and distance and pain has warped her sister into someone else. In season 2 act 1, she's still trying to take responsibility for things that are outside of her control. She blames herself for the way Jinx has changed and has to tell herself that the only way to fix it is to end the cycle with her own fists. She teams up with Caitlyn because she's convinced herself it's the only way she can help. She sees how violence has devastated not only Zaun but innocents in Piltover as well, and she feels responsible for it.

BUT SHE IS NOT AT FAULT. And she cannot fix it any more than she could have created it.

Perhaps people may feel Vi's arc is lacking because they wanted to see more of her involvement in the revolution of Zaun. They wanted to see her be able to change the situation with her sister and for them to live happily together. But because of the circumstances surrounding both, for Vi to do so, she would inevitably lean into her fatal flaw. She cannot do either of those things without neglecting herself. That's not who she is.

The whole point of a character arc is for someone to be a changed person from beginning to end. If Vi starts out as someone passionate about enacting change to the point of self-destruction, what would a resolution for a character like that look like?

Vi needs to choose herself. Vi needs to release herself of the responsibility of changing the world. She can't do it. There are ways to contribute to positive change that don't involve putting the world on your shoulders, and Vi has yet to put herself first in any situation. Vi choosing love is how she does it.

Amanda Overton, one of the main writers that contributed to Vi's character and the Caitlyn and Vi dynamic and relationship, said about Vi: "If she has no one left to protect, she would fall in love". If Vi finally lets go of this crutch of hers to protect, to fight, to take responsibility for things that aren't her burden to bear, she would fall in love. She would finally be able to choose something for herself.

This is why I find her arc fulfilling. I feel like it's not an arc we really see a lot. It's not every day we have a character that starts out like the classic anime slash marvel protagonist, and instead of being the person that saves the world, they accept they're not a superhero and it's okay to choose love and personal happiness.

If it applies, and you're reading this, I want you to ask yourself: are you perhaps disappointed with her arc because you expected her to be the superhero? And would you be okay with accepting that she isn't and doesn't need to be? That it would be better for her to choose herself?

[avelera]

I don't think Jayce was ever the one who was against Hextech weapons. I think that was always Viktor's side of the partnership, and I think this for a few reasons:

1 ) Jayce comes from a family of tool makers. Weapons are tools. Jayce's earliest drawings of himself as a mage is him holding a magical hammer. I don't think Jayce set out to make magical weapons but I think he was always open to the idea as that drawing shows us.

2 ) Viktor comes from the undercity, which no matter how you look at when he would have left it for Piltover, was often damaged and harassed by armed Enforcers. Just based on his upbringing, Viktor would be very aware of the fact that any weapons made for Piltover will almost certainly be put in the hands of Enforcers and those will be used against people in the undercity. Jayce does not have this social awareness. I don't think Jayce was at all malicious, just naive,. According to Caitlyn, he had zero political interest before becoming a Councilor and really everything he knew or thought about the undercity came from his partnership and love for Viktor.

3 ) Jayce is genuinely torn on the need for Hextech weapons because again, this isn't a deeply held belief for him in S1, this is him being supportive of Viktor's vision for their shared dream.

Jayce let Viktor be the moral guide for something he didn't really have a strong feeling about one way or the other. This is why he's so torn in S1 when it seems like they might actually need Hextech weapons in Piltover to survive against a Shimmer-armed undercity (in a classic theme of arms race escalation and all it entails that permeates the show). The narrative demonstrates though that this is Jayce's naiveté at play to think the weapons could be used only against their intended targets. Weapons once made will always be used, including against children. Viktor already has this awareness that weapons will be used against the undercity, Jayce gains it through the attack on the Shimmer factory and the death of a child bystander who looks like Viktor. To Mel's credit, she also urges caution and backpedals on her own desire for Hextech weapons in a bid to deescalate the conflict.

4 ) In S2 Act 1, Jayce is all-in on Viktor's vision for Hextech, because he's mourning Viktor who is non-responsive in the Hex cocoon and close to death. Mel, who in 1.09 realized that Jayce and Piltover matter more to her than her mother's approval, also stands up against Hextech weapons.

5 ) But, and this is critical, Jayce has always fundamentally seen Hextech as a tool that can be used for many purposes. That's why when the situation escalates, he pushes back on Hextech weapons on a broader scale, but he is willing to bend enough to make weapons for Caitlyn and her strike team, because he loves Caitlyn and he sees this as a defensive tool to keep her safe, in my opinion, and as an alternative to a war that would be worse.

This is critical to note because Jayce doesn't have an iron spine when it comes to resisting Hextech weapons because it's not his deeply held philosophical belief the way it is for Viktor. It is a received belief that he holds to honor Viktor, out of love for him, and that can be swayed if the specter of protecting another loved one arises. Jayce is wildly conflicted about this, I believe, based on his expression in the forge after he makes Caitlyn's gun, but this is a man who cannot bear the thought of losing another loved one after everything he has gone through.

Hextech was always about love for Jayce, not philosophy, because he is not ideologically driven and never has been, it was always Viktor's ideals he was supporting and he would never fight as hard on that point as Viktor would as a result.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk ;P

[zerocoded]

summary: this is a deep dive into zayne's persona in bed. just a heads up! this is my opinion babess ♡

authors note: just got back from a 4-day trip with my family and knew i had to write more about this post of mine AND I WILL. but until then, here's a little something to keep my zayne girlies on check hehe. i found this beautiful drawing on pinterest, credits to the beautiful owner.

warnings: nsfw content ahead! please proceed only if you are of legal age in your country ♡ • minors dni • talks about temperature play, edging, overstimulation, manhandling, etc.

word count: 1.3k

☆ zayne was a composed man until he was between your legs. his usual stoic demeanor crumbling down to sweet praises and a potty mouth for god knows how much time you allow him to go down on you.

☆ he's obsessed with pulling your torso closer to him and feeling the arch on your back with his hands. i said what i said and i have PROOF.

☆ that is because he is a control freak and loves to feel your body bending to his will.

☆ bro is all chivelry and gentle mannerisms until you both got your own house and freetime on zayne's hands. people can think that he is all vanilla and everything but i will say this man has the stamina of an athlete and the precisive hands of a surgeon canonically.

☆ this man CANNOT be vanilla with the little time he has on his hands and the iq he has to know everything about your body.

☆ i can see zayne paying attention to your every little move at the beginning of your relationship, commiting every little reaction of yours to his memory so that he never does something you won't enjoy.

☆ and he takes pride in that. glimpses of his smirk and the little sassiness he only shows in these moments are the proof of it.

☆ back to his potty mouth, i think zayne is the type of man to spend hours going down on you because he truly enjoys it. i'd say he's only second to xavier to spend major of his time between your legs.

☆ "fucking hell" "just like that, baby"

☆ oh he looooves talking you through it and i know it. like, in every intimate situation, zayne just loves to tease you and torment you with his mouth.

☆ and i mean the occasional "good girl", "that's it, princess", "let go for me, yeah", etc. he WON'T stop until you are overstimulated every time.

☆ i don't think zayne is into overstimulation when it comes to you, but he will go until you are pushing his head away from your core and spitting profanities in his ear. bro loves to hear you go mindless because of him.

☆ like he won't push you after you asked him to stop once (while giving head). but when it comes to him? bro takes pleasure in edging himself.

☆ zayne will be using his last drop of energy into thrusting into you after you both come a thousand times and he will be closing his eyes and throwing his head back and clenching his jaw and tensing all his muscles but he WON'T stop it until you are crying for him to stop. literally.

☆ his dick would ache and both of your bodies would be a mess but he would overstimulate himself for the pleasure of it.

☆ and when you find that out? you'd be making this man drool when giving him head. like he could already have come twice but you'd still be going at it and he would grip your hair so tight and keep fucking himself into your mouth until his body can't take it anymore.

☆ i feel like zayne doesn't know how strong he is when it comes to intimate sessions. like he has a powerful evol and knows how to fight, but he doesn't think much when he is pushing you around on the bed.

☆ manhandling final boss and that's on PERIOD. his last card literally screams this.

☆ loves praising and to be praised.

☆ funnily enough i feel like he has zero patience when he is actually horny but still be committed to the foreplay.

☆ the only time he is irritatingly patient is when you’re trying to dom him and he sees it in your eyes that you like being on top. he would muster all the patience he has and wait for your signal that you are tired and want him to take the control back.

☆ roleplaying? it's a yes in zayne's book. he can't count how many times he has dreamt of you being his secretary or something really corny like that.

☆ bro secretly has a restraint kink. like he loves to see you struggling so you could touch him or see him when all he did was tie your hands with his tie or cover your eyes while he sucks your chest.

☆ a brat tamer. OH MY GOD. why don't i see more people talking about this??? like zayne is the ultimate brat tamer. and i don't mean it for fun like sylus or rafayel would be into, i mean it in a way where zayne would LIVE this on a daily basis.

☆ he'd probably be ACTUALLY pissed if you don't go by a rule both of you previously established. or when you tease him when he is at work.

☆ you both know zayne needs his sanity to finish his crazy work hours, and that he is completely a freak when it comes to lingerie on you. so he would be actually LIVID if you send him a more revealing selfie or a full-on nude while he's at work.

☆ bro LOSES IT. and spends the rest of the day semi-hard or completely distracted. the worst part? he has a 6-hour surgery scheduled today.

☆ expect this man to pounce on you once he gets home. it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing, zayne would use his strength to manhandle you to his arms and take out his frustration on you for the rest of the night. that's where he will enjoy your cries and pleas the most.

☆ i probably will make a whole drabble about temperature play with zayne but for now i'll say this: zayne is new to this as much as you are.

☆ the first time that he loses control of his evol while with you bro panics. he thinks you are screaming from pain but you are actually coming from the temperature difference inside of you.

☆ imagine...

☆ he didn't realize his cum would actually become fucking snowflakes and that you are extremely hot on the inside, making your body jolt from the initial shock and scream from pleasure.

☆ he would stop everything and start to wonder why were you getting even tighter? and why is his hands fucking freezing the bedframe?!

☆ he probably would come twice as hard now and you would scream even louder than before because his ropes are actually chilly.

☆ fuck, just imagine how red he would get after realizing what truly happened? like he didn't even know that was possible.

☆ and when he gets out of you and he sees just how much he came, he would get even more horny than before and want to go another round.

☆ "can you feel this?", he pushes his cold cum back into your heat and you start spasming from the sensitivity, his even more cold fingers making you see starts. "zayne...", you'd whine and push his hand away, trying to stop the niagara falls between your legs.

☆ he is SO dirty i just know it. loves getting it messy, especially if you both have the time.

☆ if you don't, he'd also be the biggest fan of a quickie in his office where he can shut your mouth and bend your ass over his desk. he'd probably blame the time and say it is more "effective" for him if it's this way.

☆ man just likes to shut you up and make you take it.

☆ i swear i am finishing this but i need to say it: zayne would deny every little thing you accuse him of doing inside the bathroom. like bro would pretend that was a whole different person.

☆ you are like "you literally just fucked me in a public bathroom, z!", and he'd be like "i don't know what you are talking about, woman".

☆ let me finish this here or else i won't be able to stop.

author's note: this was nicer in my head, but ig it is the zayne brainrot making my thoughts all incoherent and numb. lol anyways, tell me what you think of this. send me a request • my masterpost

[byuno-o]

RETROGRADE PLANETS IN NATAL CHARTS.

NOTE: PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS. HENCE, MIGHT NOT BE APPLICABLE FOR EVERYONE. ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT. HENCE, DISCRETION IS ADVISED. DO PROVIDE FEEDBACKS, I LOVE IT. :)

MERCURY IN RETROGRADE

If you have mercury in retrograde in your natal chart, you might deal with aversion when it comes to verbal, direct communication. Putting your ideas and thoughts into clear sentences might not be your forte. However, I've read somewhere that people with Mercury Rx, have really good intuition. I can vouch for this since my brother has this in his 11th house, and boy has he saved himself from bad influences countless times purely because he could sense BS right away. People with Mercury Rx, however, possess a unique way of communicating their ideas and thoughts. They don't necessarily use art, but just different words and their brains are often configured differently. They might see logic in things that others can't, and somehow, everything works fine for them. These people also tend to be profound thinkers and internalize their life philosophies instead of using those philosophies for other, unlike forward mercuries. People with forward mercuries-even the ones with debilitated mercuries use their words and ideas in order to help others. while retrograde mercuries wants the betterment of self. Hence, seeing other perspectives can be difficult for them, and finding balance between conscious and callous communication can be hard. Retrograde mercuries have hard-hitting sense of humour which can be the result of unique communication style. Forward mercuries can choose their words carefully, but retrograde mercuries often cannot, for this is their lesson for their present life.

2) VENUS RETROGRADE

I see people with venus in retrograde having issues with their sense of self, which can be seen in their communication style and sense of humour. Overcompensating outwardly for lack of sensing lack of style and panache that forward Venus tend to possess, even the debilitated ones. yet they can't see their own unique flavour which goes against the conventions. A friend whose venus is in retrograde has the wildest love life in my group. Her standards are high, which stemmed from dealing with problematic, almost karmic relationships. There can be confusions regarding one's own opinion about self, likes, dislikes, and there can be a tendency to see oneself through other's judgements. Finance can be a hard to deal with, overspending can be a problem. Their lesson for their present life is to accept themselves the way they are, and love themselves before looking for love and validation elsewhere. The root cause of almost all of their problems is the lack of sense of strong self and self-validation which come first and foremost. That is the only one they can see their own uniqueness, and leverage it for their benefits.

3) MARS RETROGRADE

These people can deal with heavy procrastination, and lacks efforts when it comes to their dreams and goals. There can be a push and pull effect regarding their individuality. A cousin of mine has mars retrograde, and despite having his mars in Scorpio, he loathes adventures, and risks--and you can also add changes. while people with forward mars can be very courageous--even the debilitated ones, although they need immense pressure to make them feel agitated, people with mars retrograde rather suffer in silence than assert themselves. For them, action-orientation, and assertion can be the lessons for their present lives. However, I also think Mars in retrograde can make one very diplomatic and can make the person possess mercurial qualities. That same cousin have debilitated mercury, yet he sounds the most critical and logical among us when we have to fight for our food rights (jokes) against our grandparents. Rather than have a individualistic nature, these people can harness excellent group qualities. They can suffer through sex related traumas.

4) JUPITER RETROGRADE

People with Jupiter in retrograde may be raised with issues regarding self, religion and higher knowledge. Their viewpoints are very different, and may often come off as illogical. They care very cautious when it comes to voicing their opinions. However, they can possess a very twisted kind of luck. Since I have this, I can vouch for this. I may never get what I want, but what I need always finds me, Unlike people with forward Jupiter who may get what they want just like that. my brother has forward Jupiter in Cancer, and I have never seen a person as lucky as him. Brotha is protected by angels and our family. One order, and the whole family scrambles to obey him. While in my case, I just work hard and get the bare minimum, but the things I get always helps me at times. Getting higher knowledge is especially harder for people with Jupiter in Rx, and may deal with confusion regarding the validity of knowledge. People with jupiter in Rx also deal with lack of mentors and teachers needed to shape their personality and inner world, hence they become vagabonds when it comes to knowledge. It is only them they can rely on for a strong sense of self, hence they may go through hard time alone. It is not like they don't look for help, it's just help never comes, but rewards are worth the pain. There's always a tendency to question everything which may lead to paranoia and overthinking. Yet, they are overly self-righteous, causing relationships to falter. Their main lessons are to have faith in them, and build their unique perspectives.

5) SATURN RETROGRADE

People with saturn in retrograde tends to introspect a lot. The limitations they bear are often internalised. they tend to have problems with authority and authoritative figures, such as father and teachers and boss, yet there is a deep sense of responsibility and lack of discipline. I also have saturn retrograde in my natal chart and well, it is a blessing in disguise. to be honest. I do tend to disregard authority, but there were times when I was asked for help by some authoritative figures. Although I have a deep sense of responsibity, I lack the courage, the strategic mind and the general effort I need to fulfil my dreams, which is why this saturn retrograde is proving to be immensely helpful. There is a strong fear of failure, and the person's success is always delayed. Trust me, I know. While I work twice as hard as my friends, I am often the last person to taste any success. Same is happening with job hunt. I have read that this retrograde is strongly related to past life karma, and I think I might be deal with lessons regarding finance and material gain since I have Saturn in Taurus in 2nd house. These people often deal with loneliness, and the lack of communication from their side only add salt to injury.

6) URANUS RETROGRADE

While Uranus deals with rebellion and one's uniqueness, Retrograding Uranus may often lead to these aspects being internalised by the person. There may be a strong sense for rebellion and forging one's own path, but the person may lack the spine to do so--often relying on others to validate their uniqueness. Changes may come like tornados, ruining their very sense of being, and forcing them to refine everything again and again, until there no sense of old self is there. Unlike Pluto, Uranus retrograde often forces the person's outer world, and outer relationships to change. These people have heightened intuition which not only scares the outer world, but also force it to alienate the person. There is a strong need for rejecting tradition which might stop them from becoming the eccentric person they can be. Note, I am not using 'eccentric' in a negative way. I just think, people with Uranus Rx need to learn showcase their eccentric side to the world. so that innovation can be made. There's a huge between one accepting their eccentricity and showing the world who they actually are. If anything, I think Uranus in Rx is one of the best placements one can have for the sheer creativity it can bestow. These people must have been destined to become pioneers, but their fears of outer rejection had stopped them, hence they ended up with Uranus in retrograde in their present life. They are supposed to let go of the fear in order to fulfil their purpose.

7) NEPTUNE RETROGRADE

So, my other brother has mars, Uranus and Neptune in retrograde. And I kid you not, I have never seen someone so eccentric, so prideful yet so fearful, so disillusioned yet so full of himself till date.

For me, Neptune Retrograde is one of the worst placement one can have. This placement is not about the outer world, but breaking oneself to fill the world with happiness. people with Neptune Rx has to go through a whole journey of living in a illusionary world to become disillusioned and hate the real world, only to realise that there's more than pain and suffering in the world and it is not a utopia. these people have heightened intuition, only to never master it. They get fed with escapism illusion by the universe time and time again, for them to learn to exercise their intuition yet the fog in their mind becomes the biggest obstacle. For a long time, these people believe in, "my way or highway" and "all or nothing." Hence, when faced with failure and pain, they crumble and become disillusioned. Once they see the world as it is, they go through the spiritual quest of learning and unlearning the ways of the world. And acceptance of the worldy woes, and understanding that one can never change the ways of the world but the ways of human minds are the lessons these people have to learn. They have to make peace with the fact that there will pain and suffering, and this is what feels like to be humans. They have to learn to avoid escapism, and grab life by the balls and open their arms to the gifts of intuitions, detachment, art and healing.

8) PLUTO RETROGRADE

I see Pluto retrograde as an eagle which keeps gnawing onto one's guts while the person can do nothing but accept the eagle. The pain never goes aways. People with pluto Rx in their chart internalises every thought, every little or big change, causing them to go through intense overthinking and traumatic relationship changes. The world is never these people's friends. If you think having Pluto placements are tough, look at pluto Retrograde people. Another cousin of mine has this. And she is a control freak, with really great psychological insights. There's obssesion with every little thing, and fear of betrayal and others breaking their walls and trusts. These people live an intense karmic life. If they badmouth someone, they get tenfold of it. If they wish someone bad luck, they get ten fold of it. These people must have done something great or something very loathsome which needs heavy penance and great patience. These people are bound to become great. These people are supposed to learn the ways of the world and help change the world, but on a ground level. What I mean by that is, these people need to learn to accept their shadow side in order to help the ones who have lost their paths to attain goodness. I see people with Pluto retrograde as the ones who has to break a piece of themselves in order to fix others, since they constantly get their heart broken, and trust broken, and fears spitting on their faces until they overcome those fears, and they are constantly forced by the universe to bare themselves naked in order for the world to use their vulnerabilities. Yet, these people rise like phoenix, and continue the cycle until they realise that their higher purpose is to have faith in the ways of the universe and let it run its magic. Good things may take time, but are always worth the wait.

NOTE: I SEE RETROGRADES AS BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE. ALTHOUGH RETROGRADE PLANETS MAKE THINGS HARD, AND ALMOST UNATTAINABLE, HARD TIMES MAKE GREAT PEOPLE. THE TWISTS UNIVERSE PLAYS ON PEOPLE WITH NATAL RETROGRADE PLANETS ARE SUPPOSED TO PUSH THESE PEOPLE TO THEIR EDGES UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN BE FEARFUL OF. FOR GREAT CHANGES NEED GREATER HANDS.

ALRIGHT, DO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS. AND I WELCOME CRITICISM AND HARD HITTING FEEDBACKS WITH OPEN ARMS. JUST MAKE SURE I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW MY FANGS, TOO. :) I LOVE GATHERING NEW INFORMATION, SO UNTIL THEN, MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Mozus Trein - Strict Suit Vignette

"Youngsters these days..."

[Sports Field]

Trein: 1, 2, 3, 4… 5, 6, 7, 8…

Vargas: Trein-sensei, you're not counting loud enough! With training that feeble, your muscles won't feel your passion!

Trein: Don't be absurd, there would be no difference in my muscle strength simply by raising my voice.

Trein: Furthermore, I have no need to build muscle, anyway. I am simply hoping to loosen my stiff body.

Vargas: Yeah, but the other day, I heard you saying to yourself about how you wished you could move as easily as you did when you were younger…

Vargas: So, how is it? Do you like the special "Smile-All-Day-Long Training Regimen" I came up for you?

Vargas: I bet your muscles are squealing with joy!

Trein: Is that what you named this regimen…? Although, I suppose I don't get the feeling that you are attempting to make a fool of me…

Trein: …I suppose I must admit that there have been some positive results.

Trein: At first, I had no confidence that you knew what you were doing… Ahem. Pardon. I must say, I've been feeling much better since starting these exercises.

Trein: Recently, I've been waking up much earlier than before, possibly due to my age.

Trein: Since Lucius is still fast asleep at that time, I could only bring myself to read books, or drink tea in bed…

Trein: Lightly exercising in the morning like this only benefits my body, and is a pleasant change. I thank you.

Vargas: Hahahah, I'm sure, I'm sure. You see, muscles really solve everything.

Trein: Everything? That seems to be a rather large overestimation.

Vargas: Is it, though? I mean, there's no point in just staying locked up indoors, is there?

Vargas: You should just toss your books and do more important things…

Vargas: …Ah.

Trein: Hmm. So, you're telling me that Ashton Vargas-sensei believes that books are useless?

Trein: Have you never learned anything from a book? Then I suppose you have an overwhelmingly brilliant mind.

Trein: If you truly are that wise and knowledgeable about everything…

Trein: I suppose I must have you teach me how to be a proper professor, as well as these exercises.

Vargas: Oh, really? I'll do my best.

Trein: I SAID "IF"!

Trein: My word… Now, I concede that in order live a long life, working on your physical health is just as important.

Trein: One requires strong legs to carry themselves far and wide in order to personally observe the knowledge this world has to offer.

Trein: However, the most vital object to a mage is knowledge. Knowledge is what allows our magic to grow even further!

Trein: You think books are nonsense? Youngsters these days… It would behoove you not to disrespect those who came before you.

Trein: It's because of instructors like you with that sort of mentality that we are falling behind Royal Sword Academy in terms of testing.

Trein: That academy is much more thorough than ours. Naturally, they are not only learning about recent developments.

Trein: At Royal Sword Academy, there is a course where the professor selects literature and reads it with the class, and has the students give their opinions on the piece…

Trein: The resulting discussions are fervent, and even I was astounded by the quality of their final reports at the end of the semester.

Trein: It is absurd to even consider getting rid of books. Our academy should follow in their footsteps.

Vargas: Wow, you sure know a lot about the way another school does things. …Oh, right!

Vargas: I think I heard about how when you were younger, you were hoping to work at Royal Sword Academy.

Trein: What? …Who told you that?

Vargas: The Headmage. I heard you've also applied multiple times even after being hired here.

Vargas: "Even though he has a perfectly good school here… How could he!?" he let slip once.

Trein: That man truly does not know how to keep his mouth shut…

Trein: Ahem. Well, I cannot deny that there was a time I had those thoughts.

Trein: With their shimmering white castle with a long history, it is an academic institution at its height.

Trein: That is why I believed that the Royal Sword Academy was exactly where I deserved to be…

Vargas: Aren't you giving them a little too much praise, there? C'mon, just one look at my muscles is enough to send those stuck-up guys scrambling!

Trein: Stop trying to solve everything with your muscles. As I keep telling you, that isn't the answer.

Trein: Well, anyway… All that is in the past. Now, I am thankful that I did not go to work for them.

Trein: …Since I wouldn't have the chance to see that school lose if I hadn't chosen to go to another academy.

Trein: One day, under my tutelage, Night Raven College will utterly defeat Royal Sword Academy soundly.

Trein: And I will see them regret their choice to not hire a professor as talented as I.

Vargas: Looks like Trein-sensei's the type to really hold grudges…

[Classroom]

Heartslabyul Student: Zzz… Zzz…

Lucius: Mrrrooowww～

[SLASH!]

Heartslabyul Student: GYAAAAAH!!!

Trein: What is all that noise!?

Heartslabyul Student: Ouch… Lucius scratched my cheek!!

Trein: What of it? I'm sure you were simply nodding off.

Lucius: Mrooow～

[Trein picks up Lucius]

Trein: That's right, good. That was a fitting punishment for the rude boy.

Trein: You should thank Lucius for waking you up. Now, we'll continue the lesson.

After class

Heartslabyul Student: I'M SO PISSED OFF～～～!

Heartslabyul Student: Yeah, sure, I fell asleep, but he didn't need to scratch me! It's not my fault that that old man's lesson's just too boring!

Octavinelle Student: So, my dad used go to Night Raven College too, right…

Octavinelle Student: He says that Trein's classes hasn't changed a bit. Said sometimes they'd even get the same worksheets as before.

Scarabia Student: No wonder it's so boring. The class is so old, it's basically fossilized!

Scarabia Student: From what I hear, Lucius was always watching the students like that during Trein's classes, too…

Scarabia Student: Looks like he really likes seein' us gettin' scolded by him.

Heartslabyul Student: The pair of them just piss me off… Think there's any time those two have ever been nice to a student?

Grim: HEY, TREIN!

Trein: What is it, do you have a question for me?

Grim: Nyahaha! I think you got something you wanna say to me, don'tcha?

Trein: Something to say to you, Grim? …I'm afraid nothing comes to mind. What are you talking about?

So, basically…

Grim: IT'S THIS! THE TEST WE JUST GOT HANDED BACK!! Grim: My score went up 10 points from last time! Ain't I amazin'? Grim: You better heap tons of praise on my genius awesomeness!

2. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Grim: What, you don't know either, [Yuu]? Look at this! The test we just got handed back!! Grim: My score went up 10 points from last time! Ain't I amazin'? Grim: The two of you better heap tons of praise on my genius awesomeness!

Trein: Sigh… Is that the only reason why you called out to me? You are still nowhere near average.

Trein: What does it say when you are unable to answer a single question on this section of fundamentals?

Trein: It seems you lack the foundation necessary. If the foundation is shaky, then no matter how much you try to learn, there will be no progress.

Trein: The crucial aspect of education is compounding new knowledge onto prior knowledge. You should always focus and strive to do your best.

Lucius: Mrooowr～～～ Ffft

Grim: M-Myaaah. He's started lecturin' again.

Grim: Tch. C'mon, you coulda at least said one nice thing…

Trein: …However, your ability to solve this problem here was spectacular. We only briefly reviewed this topic in the notes.

Trein: If you were capable of producing the correct answer, you must have thoroughly read your textbook. That is a commendable effort.

Grim: !!

Grim: Nyahahah… Yay! Yahoo～ I gotta tell those jerks who're always pickin' on me that Trein said I did good!

Grim: See that, hench-human? Ain't I awesome?

1. Amazing! 2. You're a genius!

Grim: Right? Hehe, I guessed right. Lucky me!

Trein: What…?

Grim: Oops.

Trein: You guessed? You mean to tell me you picked an answer at random, and this result was merely due to luck?

Grim: N-N-N-No way. I just misspoke!

Trein: Well then, I should give you a similar problem. Since you were capable of answering the previous problem, this should be a non-issue.

Grim: But I can't do that!

Trein: So it was a random guess after all. I had hoped that it had been the fruits of your efforts… Disgraceful!

Grim: But, c'mon～

Trein: NO TALKING BACK!

Trein: I cannot stand such laziness whatsoever. And you sought to win my praise in this manner?

Trein: This is unacceptable. You must receive your just punishment. Now, what shall it be…?

Trein: First, you shall review this test from corner to corner. Understand?

Trein: You will write out each question and answer in your notebook until you've thoroughly committed it to memory. All of it.

Trein: Finally, in order to see if you've truly absorbed the material, you will take a new test specifically on this subject, and must pass it with full marks.

Grim: A test!? But I just did one!

Trein: YOU'LL DO ANOTHER ONE!

Grim: MYAAAAAH!

1. You reap what you sow… 2. You just had to say something…

[Lecture Hall]

Trein: Well, it seems it's time to head back to the residence. Lucius, get ready to leave.

Lucius: Mrooow～

Trein: Ah, right. If I recall, we were almost out of milk. I should purchase some on the way home.

Trein: What else… We still have some vegetables, but I should purchase some meat… Hm? My phone is ringing.

[answers phone]

Trein: What is it, Dolly? It's not often you call me at such a time.

Trein: Hm? On your next break? …I see, I see! That is splendid.

Trein: Anna mentioned that she will also be able to come home. It will be nice to have the whole family together for once.

Lucius: MROW!?

Trein: Could you hear that? Yes, it seems Lucius is also excited to see you two.

Trein: How long will you be able to stay? …Hm, I see. You'll be able to enjoy your time a little, then.

Trein: Come home safe. Make sure to behave yourself so as to not cause any issues with those around you as you travel… …I am not nagging.

Trein: …I understand, yes, yes. You've grown into a fine adult. I'll abstain from "nagging" you. That is what you prefer, yes?

Trein: …Yes, your papa is also looking forward to seeing you. Talk to you later.

[click]

Trein: …Did you hear that, Lucius? Dolly and Anna will come home for their next vacation.

Lucius: Rrowwr～～～

Trein: Haha, don't sulk.

Trein: Yes, it is a tad worrisome that they live so carefree like children even as adults...

Trein: However, they lost their mother during their formative years, so they've been through such hardship.

Trein: They may have matured and left the family home, however providing them a solace to return to is still a parent's duty to their children.

Trein: …I'm sure she would have wanted that as well.

Lucius: Rrooowr～～～～～

Trein: Indeed. You were just as attached to her when you were a kitten, I remember. I know just how heartbroken you were as well.

Trein: That is why during this upcoming break, the two of us must welcome them home with open arms, for her sake as well.

Trein: First, the fireplace requires cleaning. Ah, yes, this is also an opportunity to replace the rug. And…

Lucius: Rrowr～～～

Trein: …No, you need not do anything, Lucius. Whatever would we do if you were to break a nail while attempting to put away all your cat toys.

Trein: No need to sweat. All you should do is rest on your little couch and enjoy yourself.

Lucius: Rrowwr～～～～～

Trein: Yes, I know. Since we are sharing in such grand news, I shall open up your favorite can, as a treat.

[rustle]

Grim: THAT AIN'T FAIR!

Trein: Hm!? That surprised me… [Yuu], and Grim. What are you doing here?

1. We were just heading home. 2. We just happened to pass by.

Grim: We were workin' on that stuff you gave us, and look how long it's takin'! And we're not even done…

Grim: But who cares about that… I just heard what you said.

Grim: You keep yappin' 'bout how I gotta work haaaaard, or learn more stuuuuuff or whatever…

Grim: But you're sayin' Lucius doesn't gotta do anything, that's totally different from what you said earlier! That ain't fair!

Grim: So, I wanna do what he does. Hey, Lucius, swap places with me!

Lucius: MROWR!?

Grim: MEEEEOOOW!

Grim: Humph. If I do this, then I won't have do deal with all your naggin', and I can just lay around and get pets and tasty treats, right?

Grim: This is the life! Myahaha!

Trein: No! Do not climb on the desk and try to replace Lucius. Stop it!

1. You sure you're good with just being a cat?

Trein: It's just as [Yuu] says. Lucius is my precious familiar. On the other hand, Grim, you are a student! Trein: Do you not think you are simply causing more of a headache to [Yuu], who supports you day in and day out?

2. I mean, it is a pretty neat gig.

Trein: Wha… Even you say so, [Yuu]? I do hope you aren't planning on jumping on the desk as well.

Trein: As students given the honor to become Night Raven College students, you dare wish to merely relax and do nothing…?

Trein: How wretched. Students thrive because they are thrown into the strenuous trials of academia.

Trein: While you are under my tutelage, I will not allow such disgraceful behavior to continue.

Trein: Both of you must never forget that you are students at this esteemed academy!

Requested by Anonymous.

[elizaleclerc]

l&ds headcanons

a hc post for all of the guys (except caleb im just waiting til we get his lore tbh)

Sylus:

would definitely get into twitter discourse over the most random topics. the man has strong opinions and will express them in whatever means necessary, even if that's arguing with a random on twitter.

sylus would find some odd type of joy in doing taxes, especially your taxes. he would stay up day and night crunching the numbers and going over the forms multiple times. hes just weird like that.

he would sing along to a musical with no shame, and YES he knows every word are you kidding? it's even worse if you are watching one with him because he will assign characters to everyone and force everyone to act out the parts.

listens to multiple genres of music and has hundreds of playlists for every mood. yall can debate on whether hes a spotify or apple kinda guy.

Zayne:

he likes using a nightlight to sleep and hatesss if there's not a fan going in the room at night. no i will not elaborate further.

not lore accurate obv but he gives oldest son energy- even better if he's the oldest child overall. the smooth sarcasm and protectiveness of the ppl he loves?!?!? screams oldest child behavior.

he's the type to leave a social interaction and rethink/regret everything they said and did to the point of no return. this shit would keep him up at night. even social interactions years ago haunts him.

he'll never let himself drink energy drinks (doctor behavior), not only bc he knows the bad side effects but you genuinely do not want to see him hyped up on caffeine.

Rafayel:

adversely to sylus, rafayel would get canceled on twt so fast. i imagine him beefing with sylus in a long thread and as a result of some outlandish opinion rafayel would get canceled. can't blame him, he's sassy asf and no one can stop him.

he has one playlist full of his liked songs and just hits shuffle whenever he wants to listen to music (freak behavior in my opinion)

if anyone criticizes his artwork he will intensely plot their demise in his head instead of hearing them out. this queen has an ego what can i say.

seems like the type to have had an "emo" phase in their preteens and would exclusively listen to top or paramore.

Xavier:

xavier has an insane long term memory but an awful short term memory. yes he can tell u what happened on a certain day three years ago but don't even think about asking him what he had for breakfast (he probably wasn't awake early enough for it anyway)

unlike zayne, you'd have to pry energy drinks out of xavier's hands. he cannot get enough. he's so sleepy all the time he pretty much can't function without some sort of regular caffeine intake.

xavier believed in santa probably way longer than any of his peers to the point where it was a little concerning. he's just full of holiday spirit.

i can see him not liking being alone for too long because even though he seems sleepy and quiet he really likes to yap ur ear off. at the end of the day he really loves company- even if its just the two of you sitting in comfortable silence.

fin <3

[tarotwithavi]

3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life

1. Fear of Rejection

Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.

3 things to do to let go of this fear

Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.

Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.

Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.

2. Expectations

Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.

Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.

Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.

Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.

3. Self-Doubt

We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.

Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.

Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.

Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.

[ozzgin]

wtf HOW WAS ROMULUS OZZIE Hello??????? I CANT WAIT TO WATCH ITRTR i miss david 8 tho 😓😓 “you finger and i blow” ok gorgeous whatever you say

Ok ok, I let it sit overnight so I could formulate a less feral opinion. I'll do my best to be objective, though you should keep in mind that I'm very biased when it comes to the Alien franchise.

Alien: Romulus First Impressions

Plot. The movie takes place between Alien (1979) and Aliens (1986). If you've seen the old Alien movies, you will notice it follows the same formula: somewhat slow beginning, a grand reveal, a lot of high-stake escape attempts, shady android behavior, and the classic, speedy succession of plot twists where you think you're safe, only to be surprised the very next moment.

While this movie is meant to behave more like the pre-2000 releases, it does bring some novel elements, which, in my opinion, helped build its own authenticity. Additionally - and without spoiling you - it will involve its own Xenomorph variation. Fantastic idea, and I cannot believe it hasn't been done earlier.

The cast is a group of orphaned youngsters who want to escape their space mining colony. You're introduced to a dystopian, grimy world of overworked humans who've never seen the light of the sun. The main character, Rain, is accompanied by her "brother", Andy, an android programmed to take care of her after the death of her parents. Here's another aspect I enjoyed: an anxious, imperfect android who seems to display an emotional bond with his human.

Rain's friends discover a shipwreck which may contain enough sleeping pods to take them away from these unbearable conditions. Their plan is to sneak in, take the pods, and speed away to a more humane station while in cryosleep. The twist? It's not just any regular ship. They have stepped into the Romulus and Remus research station, operated by Weyland-Yutani, and haunted by yet another failed attempt to contain the Xenomorph horrors.

Characters. Let me tell you, this was a breath of fresh air. Prometheus and Covenant have left me rather skeptical when it comes to a competent cast, yet from the ashes of pathetic military personnel rose a bunch of kids who are built for survival. Rain reminded me so much of Ripley - extremely intelligent, efficient, and strong. Her friends are equally brave in the face of disaster. This was a 10/10 cast, and I'm so glad they finally found the balance between being terrified and still navigating the situation without catastrophic mistakes.

Visuals. The imagery was an absolute treat. They seamlessly combined modern special effects with throwback, retro detailing. The futuristic equipment and locations reminded me a lot of Alien: Isolation. Upon further research, it seems that the director was indeed inspired by the game! It made everything so nostalgic and immersive. The Xenomorph design was flawless as usual, involving a lot of body horror.

Audio. I am desperately waiting for the album to be released on Spotify, because the soundtracks were amazing. The music was composed by Benjamin Wallfisch, who seems to have rather big movie titles under his belt, such as It, and It: Chapter Two. Safe to say this man knows how to instil terror in you. They made sure to incorporate some of the classic pieces, then expanded on that. The alert beats reminded me of Covenant, while other tracks provided their own take on the story. The intro of the movie is aided by dissonant chanting in the background, hinting at the ancient, religious imagery used for the Xenomorphs.

Conclusion. Overall, I'd say this is a must-watch for any Alien fan. It is a tribute to the classic movies, but it still offers a brand-new take to the Alien Universe. The movie had some moments of complete silence - staying true to the "In space, no one can hear you scream" quote - and everyone in the cinema held their breaths. It will keep you on your toes.

[branwinged]

what's your take on rhaegar?

take as in, my opinion of his moral character? we don't have all the details for that, filling in the blanks involves a great deal of speculation. my read of him is based on what purpose he serves within the story.

i don't think much of him outside of what he means for dany. it's the way robb is not a character in his own right to me and exists only to serve catelyn and bran's arcs. which is why my opinion of rhaegar is mainly informed by that scene in agot, where dany dreams of him in his armour and lifts the visor to find that "the face within was her own", dany is clearly inheriting his narrative role (jon too in some capacity, but i'm not thinking of jon in relation to the targaryens before the reveal happens), it's for purely this reason i've never seen him as someone with no redeeming qualities. the memory of rhaegar shadows and informs everything she does (it is time to cross the trident) grrm writes her with shades of all her targaryen ancestors, because she's the last of them and embodies three hundred years of her house's glorious and terrible history. but rhaegar's particular echo is the strongest because that's the brother she would've married under slightly different circumstances, she imagines rhaegar as the ideal vision of the king in her mind whom she must emulate, he died and made her the prince that was promised. her entire character is constructed around him. he's not simply a strong influence in her life, she is him. they call her aegon the conquerer come again but she's been having visions of battling the others at the trident since agot, she's also rhaegar come again. she'll do everything he couldn't. it's just a bit inconceivable for a character like that to be revealed as a cold, unfeeling schemer. like, where's the heart in that? if everything rhaegar resembled was antithetical to dany's own beliefs and motives? aerys is already there to serve that exact role.

but what we learn about him from a number of contradictory sources is interesting. melancholy bard prince, born in grief, sang songs of doom and loss among the ruins of summerhall, presumably plagued by prophetic dragon dreams. he's framed as a character out of some song. all rebellion characters have that quality to them, there's a girl who dies trapped in a tower, another throws herself off a tower, the tourney at harrenhal episode is told to bran (and in turn, the readers) in the form of a song. they don't feel very real, or at least, they'll never get to be real the way our present day characters feel real because they're dead and their stories have been distorted and repurposed. robert's version is that of a king valiantly fighting for his abducted lady love, the version told to dany is that of tragic star crossed lovers torn apart by the realm. they're songs, and cannot be the whole truth. it's in the name. it was the year of the false spring and they all thought they were changing the world. rhaegar was going to call a great council and depose aerys, robert and ned where overthrowing a mad king to put an end to his atrocities. except rhaegar died having achieved nothing, robert ascended his throne on the corpses of children, then in fifteen years' time recreated the conditions for the start of another war. and lyanna simply traded one kind of gendered sentence for another. i'm not drawing a 1:1 equivalence between rhaegar and robert (and i do think it will be written as a romance with the truth somewhere between robert and dany's versions), but that she died either way is a pretty significant detail. she died in more ways than one! when they talk about her they recall a helpless maiden dead in some tower, not a girl capable of besting renowned knights.

like, it's very clear to me that the rebellion and its immediate consequences are meant to be read as a tragedy, caused not by the actions of a character(s) but as a result of the systemic failings of their world (which is why it's once again leading up to the burning of king's landing, where it all began, the city is symbolic of the very worst of westerosi feudalism). lyanna's death is less about robert and rhaegar and more about the way there was no escape possible for a girl like her—a theme that's carried over in sansa and arya's stories, except this time it will end with them getting to live the life lyanna wasn't allowed to, because this time they will change the world. dany's earnest dream of "to plant trees and watch them grow" is just that. it's the dream of spring.

[seriesxwriting]

Merry scroogemas

Paring- Rafe Cameron X kook reader

Series- Outer banks

Summary- You hate Christmas with everything in you but Rafe try’s to change that.

Warnings- Kissing.

Requests are open :)

Obviously- like usual my Christmas post is posted after Christmas…!

December the 1st

"How excited are you then?" Rafe came and sat down on my bed. I turned my phone off and rolled my head over to look at him. "It's December the first- it's about to be our first Christmas together- to be honest I thought you'd already have your tree up" he laughed but soon lost it once he saw my face. "What's wrong..." he asked me putting his hand out to pull me up. I sat up and shuffled closer to him, trying to figure out what to reply with.

"Rafe- I don't like Christmas" I told him avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Okay scrooge" he chuckled thinking I was joking. "it's my least favourite time of the year" I shrugged my shoulders looking up at him now, so he knew I was being serious. "You're being serious- nobody hates Christmas?" "I do..." I told him pulling back a little now. I know it was a very unpopular opinion- but it was my opinion.

"Come back" he wrapped an arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him. "Can I ask why?" he whispered seeing that it was clearly effecting me. "That depends- if you wanna get deep or not" I shrugged my shoulders at my boyfriend. "Only with you my love" he nodded his head keenly and then laid a soft kiss on my forehead in comfort. "Well- my parents would often be so busy that Christmas was never a family thing, when I was little I went to a boarding school and- they never came and collected me on holidays" I began explaining.

Rafe never took his eye off me, he made it obvious he was taking note of everything I said. "When I reached upper school they took me out of my boarding school and sent me to our school- but nothing changed..." my eyes began to start filling up with salty tears. "They were always on long business trips over Christmas, and because i'm an only child I ended up being alone again- just in the house this time" I shrugged trying to shake off the tears. "Oh y/n" Rafe whispered closing his eyes.

'"Last year- my mum was at home for Christmas- dad had flown to Brazil for businness- I thought it was going to be different- but she didn't leave her office more than twice the whole day". "I'm so sorry- I had no idea..." he told me looking sad himself now. "No one does- no one knows- don't get me wrong my parents didn't do it because they don't love me- they just think that me having the material presents they get me is what Christmas is about, they didn't have presents when they were younger because they grew up on the cut" I replied to him.

"Have you ever spoken to them about it?" Rafe questioned but that just made me giggle. "Rafe suggesting communication? what have I turned you into" "I don't know- i'm shocked too to be honest" he joined in with my laughter. "But no- I haven't- money changed them they are very materialistic, their life is their work and nothing I say is going to change that". "I think I might need a strong drink after that, because you've just shattered my heart" "Oh Rafe" I sighed smiling.

"Ive grown very used to it" "You know you're making it worse don't you?" he swept his hand under my arms and pulled me against his body into a hug. "What's happening this year?" he whispered in my ear while holding me tight. "My dads already on a two month business trip and mum leaves on the 16th and comes back on new years" I told him, and then held my breath waiting for the sympathy about how pathetic it was to roll in.

"Then my house is your home from the 16th until new years" Rafe called out making me jerk away from him so I could see his expression. “No- Rafe I cannot impose like and especially not on Christmas” I shook my head vigorously. “Oh come on you’re not imposing y/n you’re family and family are supposed to be together on Christmas” he replied making his face go soft.

“Rafe- I don’t like Christmas- I’ll just bring the spirit down” I answered him sadly. “You light rooms up- you could never bring anything down”. I blushed under his gaze but still wasn’t sure. “I won’t enjoy the day knowing you’re home on your own” “but Rafe you don’t understand- I’m used to it it doesn’t effect me now- I like being on my own because I don’t like Christmas” I explained to him slowly so that he’d understand how serious I was.

“Will you think about it?” He turned his head and put it on his shoulder. “Yeah alright” I nodded giving him a weak smile. “Thank you” he whispered leaning in and kissing me gently. “I love you” rage murmured against my lips. “Not as much as I love you” I returned giving him a peck on the lips.

December the 3rd

“Hello handsome” I smiled as I opened the door. He stood there with a giant smile across his face as if he was plotting something. “Hello my love, you ready?” “Where are you taking me Rafe cameron?” I smirked stepping down onto my front door step to join him. Rafe embraced me and kissed my forehead. I loved how affectionate he’d been with me lately. It took him a while to come out of his shell but now he was always touching me.

“It’s a surprise, come on” he smiled taking my hand in his and leading me to his car. It was pretty dark now and Rafe had told me he had plans for us. But what possible plans could he have for us at 8pm on a Monday. He closed my door for me and then got into the drivers seat. As he began driving he asked me about my day and I asked him about his.

I hadn’t seen him since his offer to spend Christmas at his. We’d both been busy seeing friends and doing work. I enjoyed talking to him but I was also watching the road to see where he was taking us. But it seemed to be into town. Rafe parked in one of the car parks, it was rammed with people and cars. “I wonder why it’s so busy tonight?” I looked at him as we both climbed out the car.

“It’s a mystery” Rafe wiggled his eyebrows, I gave him a funny look wondering what he was up to. “Come here” he put his hand out and I clasped his one as we made our way into town. “It’s packed” I muttered looking around. “There’s top” I pointed through the mass of people. “Oh yeah” Rafe smiled seeing his friend, but he just squeezed my hand and we walked past the group of boys.

“Did you not wanna say hello?” I questioned confused for a second. “No my love, I’m here with you my attention is on you” he told me smiling down at me. “What’s the time?” Rafe asked me, distracting me from blushing. “Erm, twenty past eight” I told him looking at my watch. “Perfect, we made good timing”. “What time do we need to be there for?” “Starts at half eight” Rafe replied as we weaved through the crowds.

As we came to the main square a huge Christmas tree stood, it was unlit but there were loads of people crowed round it. “Rafe” I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow knowing what was going on now. “Yes gorgeous” he answered catching onto my tone. “Is today what I think it is?” I questioned as we came to a stop. “Depends what you think it is” he smirked knowing I knew what we were up to now.

“It’s the Christmas switch on huh”, Rafe chuckled nodding his head and pulling me close to his body. “Yes- I thought it might get you a little more spirited” “I see the Christmas lights every year Rafe, they’re always the same”. Rafe let out a little laugh again “well they might be a little different this year” “I can’t bet you fifty quid they won’t be” I sang back to him. Rafe put his arm round my shoulders and turned us towards the tree.

Soon everyone began counting down Rafe joined in with a huge grin on his face. I felt a wave of sadness that I didn’t feel the same excitement about the season. I felt like I was just brining him down. But my mind was distracted when the lights turned on. There was only one word for it. Gorgeous.

The lights reached all around the tree and the buildings, all different colours twinkling in the night. There were so many more this year, so many different shapes on the street lamps, snowflakes, Christmas puddings, Santa faces. The lights swirled round the drain pipes, and the guttering. I gazed around in amazement, the lights reflected in my eyes. I caught sight of Rafe, he wasn’t staring at the lights he was staring at me.

“How’d you know they were going to be different this year?” I laughed throwing my arms round his neck. “I may have pulled a few strings to make it a little more magical for you this year”. My eyes widened “Rafe Cameron” I shook my head in disbelief. “You know I’d do anything for you, I want you to experience a different Christmas this year” “does that mean you have some more tricks up your sleeve” I chuckled pushing up on my tip toes to get close to his face.

“Lots” he whispered giving me a small kiss. “Come on- I’ve lit up the whole town for you, let’s go walk down some streets” Rafe suggested putting his hand out for me to hold. I gave him a warm smile and grabbed onto his bicep as we began to walk round. I can’t believe he did this for me.

December the 7th

I knocked on Rafes door eyeing up the giant reef attached to the knocker. “Hello my love” he smiled opening the door for me and stepping backwards. “Hey handsome” I gave him a kiss as entered the house and began taking my shoes off. “I’ve told you you don’t need to knock anymore y/n, you’ve been around long enough to just come in- the house is yours” he told me pulling my coat off me gently and hanging it u for me.

“I know I know- but then i wouldn’t get my lovely greeting from you”. Rafe laughed at me shaking his head, “come on I set some stuff up for us” he said, I watched as an excitement flickered in his eyes. What christmasy task has he got for us to do now. I trailed behind rafe as we strode into the kitchen, ward was in there with rose and they both turned and smiled at me. “Hey y/n, how are you” Ward twinkle waving at me.

“Oh I’m okay thank you, how are yous” I smiled back leaning against the island. “Yeah not bad- just trying to organise Christmas as well as keep up with work” Ward rolled his eyes playfully. “We hear you might be joining us this year” rose joined in moving her eyes from me to Rafe. “Oh um…” “she’s still thinking about it” Rafe said for me, putting an arm round my waist. “Well, it would be lovely to have you here hunny, you’re always welcome” Rose nodded rubbing her husbands arm.

“Thank you- you don’t know what that means to me” I expressed watching them smile at each other. “We will leave you to it” ward nodded at the island table. I turned my head round seeing a huge box on the table. Rafe had taken everything out the box and opened the packaging. “Gingerbread house?” I looked at him shocked. “Yeah?” “I’ve never made one before” I blinked walking round to take a look at the box.

“Well I haven’t since I was a kid” rafe scratched the back of his head. “I guess it’s a little childish but it might be fun” “Rafe- I love it” I walked over rubbing his arm. “Thank you” I smiled getting excited now. “I just thought because you like doing your little craft stuff you might make a masterpiece” he joined me sitting down and we both got started picking up the pieces. The actual making of the gingerbread house I kinda sat back talking about what i’d been up to since I last saw him at the light switch on and let Rafe do the work. He seemed to know what he was doing.

But the decorating I was in charge of. We put icing all on the roof and the walls as well and sticking little treats on. Rafe had brought little sweets for us to use too, but we ended up eating half of them before they even made it onto the house. In the end it looked pretty good, we’d done a good job, I’d even go as far as saying it looked better than the boxes one. “Right, let’s take some pictures then we can make hot chocolate and eat it” Rafe rubbed his hands together.

“Mm- yeah sounds good” I nodded getting my phone out. “Smile handsome” I called out at him. We took some together and he took some of me, before Rafe went off to make us our drinks. I watched him smiling the whole time, wondering how I got so fucking lucky.

December the 15th

“Hello my love” I smiled at Rafe as I walked down the stairs, he was talking to my mum in the hall way. “Hello beautiful- you look lovely” he gazed up at me. “Thanks hun” I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “What you two up to tonight?” My mum wondered putting her hands behind her back. “I have no clue, Rafe seems to like surprises this month” I giggled, his hand wrapped round my waist. “She’ll like it, but it’s a bit of a drive so we better get going” “okay darlings, well I’ll probably have left for the airport hotel by the time you get back” she told me.

“Well have a great trip mum” she walked closer to hug me goodbye. “Merry Christmas darling, all your presents are under the tree, you’ll love them this year” she rubbed my arms. “Yeah- thank you” I nodded taking a step back. “Yours will be waiting for you when you get back” I told her feeling Rafe’s arm squeezed round me again. “Oh y/n me and your father don’t want anything off you” she shook her head. “It’s just something little- but we better get going- I’ll see you on new years”.

“Yes- you two enjoy yourself, I’ll see you later Rafe” she waved him off and walked off upstairs. And we left as quick as possible. “Wow- I can’t believe she’s that blind to how it makes you feel” Rafe shook his head baffled at my mum’s behaviour. “Christmas just isn’t a big thing in my family Rafe- it’s okay, she thinks she’s doing the right thing she’s going to work and buying me everything I could ever want” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I suppose” he sighed turning on the car. The drive was quite a while away, we again just spoke about what we’d been up to since we last saw each other on the 7th. Christmas wasn’t far now, and because my mum left tomorrow I had a feeling Rafe was going to want an answer tonight at some point. We drove about an hour away from home, and I really couldn’t put my finger on what we were doing tonight. Rafe parked in another car park, there were lots of people in this one too.

“What are we up to then” “come on” Rafe laughed throwing his arm round my neck. “You don’t have to wait much longer. Rafe lead me through the edge of town to the main streets and before my eyes stood a huge Christmas market flowing all the way down the street. There were stalls everywhere, loud Christmas music coming from the speakers. The lights weren’t as pretty as the ones back home but the market stalls made it very cute. “I’ve never been to a Christmas market”.

“Well I’m honoured to take you to your first one” Rafe rubbed his thumb across my hand. “Anything that catches your eye, it’s yours” “Rafe- you don’t have to do that I have my own money” I told him as we began the walk into the town center. “I took you here so I could spoil you, so anything you want my love, it’s yours”. “Well- we should probably get a drink while we’re walking around” pointing at a stall with a large sign.

“I’ll get a hot chocolate- what do you fancy?” He asked me turning us toward the line. “I’ll have a mulled wine since it’s Christmas”. As soon as the words came out my mouth I frowned to myself. Why was I going along with Christmas traditions? Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad with the right people. “Of course gorgeous” Rafe answered me taking his wallet out, but I watched the smirk on his face, he looked proud of himself. He knew I was sliding over to his side.

Me and Rafe walked around all the stalls, trying things on, trying samples, buying things. Rafe got some every strong rum and he brought me a load of different trinkets. Jewellery, crochet animals, plants, little paintings, candela. We eventually had walked around and had brought everything we wanted, so we stopped off to get some food from one of the stalls and headed over to some benches to scran it.

“Rafe- I really enjoyed the Christmas markets” I smiled up at him holding my burger in my hands. “Correction- Rafe I really enjoyed spending your money”. I laughed nudging him “how dare you I offered to pay”, he joined in with the laughing. “You will never pay for anything while I’m around” he shook his head and stopped laughing. “So- have you thought anymore about my offer?”. I bit my lip staring at my food. “Okay Rafe- I’ll spend Christmas with you”. His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

He was so excited and that warmed my heart and soul. “You won’t regret it, you’ll have the best Christmas with us” he told me, practically bouncing in his seat. “I know handsome- thank you for everything you’ve done this month”, “well was i successful?- do you like Christmas a little more now?” Rafe slimmed his eyes at me. “Well- I’ve loved spending time with you and if that’s what Christmas is about then yes, you were successful” I nodded my head, it was impossible to stop my smile.

“I’ll take that”, Rafe leant in and softly kiss my cheek. “I love you Rafe- Merry Christmas”. His eyes widened in shock at my words but he still smiled. “I love you y/n, merry Christmas my love”.

Rafe Cameron masterlist

Outerbanks masterlist

All series masterlist

Masterlist of masterlists

[loveemagicpeace]

How synastry feels on a deeper way🌊🎧🌌

❤️‍🔥1st house synastry- This house feels very energetic. You share a lot of energy with the person and you find them very attractive visually. It can feel fiery, impulsive and sudden. You fall in love with a person's appearance. To her confident, daring side. The relationship itself can also be very bold and fearless. You can always defend each other and no matter what happens you two come first. I think when you broke up with this person you feel like you can you cannot find someone who have this energy that this person have and also appearance!

🎧2nd house synastry- love feels possessive and at the same time stable. You love a person for what they give you. You two find comfort in this relationship and share the same values. Usually you have a song that is just yours. They eat the same food or pay a lot of attention to it. This relationship feels like a song that doesn't leave your head. Everything reminds you of this person. You two feel safe and secure with each other and it's hard to leave behind that.

🧝🏽‍♀️3rd house synastry- love is felt through words and communication. Maybe you feel that many times you miss the person's voice and that they best expressed their feelings towards you. You feel that this relationship was the best in terms of communication, that you could tell each other everything. And that they understood you best. In this relationships words speak louder than anything.

🧸💕4th house synastry - love feels like home. This relationship is based on a sense of comfort. They feel like family. They feel like they want to spend all their time together and create a home where they can be together. It feels like a home you never had before. This is your favorite person (because the 4th house also represents people who are your favorite). This relationship seems very familiar as a childhood memory. Cute, sweet, emotional - also you feel like you can tell this person everything as if I already knew you, you feel like you can express yourself to them. When you broke up with this person you feel like you lose home or a safe place.

🎡5th house synastry- love feels like a child's energy. It's like being a teenager madly in love again with no responsibilities. You feel passion and fiery love with this person. With this person, you feel like you can express your inner child and that you can do crazy things without someone judging you. Crazy stupid love. You feel alive with this person. When you break up with that person, you may feel like they took your joy and happiness with them.

🧉6th house synastry- this relationship feels like caring for each other. Maybe they have a common lifestyle that they follow and they may even have a common animal. Many times when you break up with that person, you have a lot of things that you still share with that person. Maybe a person's opinion means a lot to you, or maybe your routine has changed just because of that person.

7th house synastry- this relationship feels something special and at the same time very beautiful. All the beautiful things you've ever dreamed about happen with this person. You feel like you want to have everything with this person. The relationship is romantic, sweet and focused on the two of you. You see them as a potential person. All the focus goes to this person and you can actually create relationship only with that person. So when you break up with them it feels like you're alone.

🫀8th house synastry- that the relationship feels very deep, intense and strong. You have the feeling that you share the same soul and secrets that are only yours. You two are very private about relationship. You find them very attractive in every way. You feel almost possessed by this person's love. You trust only them and give yourself completely to this relationship. Forever kind of love. Drunk in love. They always come back to each other and cannot be without each other. Sometimes u feel like you lose a part of you in that person. This house hits different the other houses so when you break up with that person it feels like someone dies. You cannot move on and it's very emotional and it's very hard.

🦋9th house synastry- this relationship feels like the fulfillment of a wish you've been wanting for a long time. Also very meaningful love, you find meaning in that person. You two can also find the meaning in life through this relationship. You and your partner have a special place that is only yours & where you like to spend time together. You always look forward to seeing each other. This relationship can both bring a lot of luck in life.

🦭10th house synastry- with this person you feel like you are very grateful for their presence. This relationship feels like a habit and something that is stable. They love each other for all the positive things they have brought to each other's lives. You feel like you are destined to be with this person and share this journey with them. The biggest supporter in this life is the person in your share 10th house synastry with. They will always stand by your side and support you in everything you. You two can also create some business with each other. Relationship is also very public.

💚11th house synastry- this relationship is very unique and different from all the others you've had. You feel as if your long-awaited dreams and goals have come true. You like how free you feel with this person and how the person gives you exactly what you want. This relationship is independet and rebellious. When you lose them you don’t feel like you only lose a lover but a friend too.

🧚🏼‍♀️12th house synastry- this relationship is often subconscious, you don't know why you are attracted to this person but you are. You feel a deep connection, which is usually shown through the signs that appear. Or you think of that person and then they think of you at the same time. You usually always meet these people through life or something related to them. This house can also feel like person can save you.

-Unfortunately, it is not possible to publish more than 10 pictures, so I couldn't post for the last two😒

-Rebekah🦭☁️🩶

[starhoppin]

pick a picture; your next soul lesson

pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3

disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.

「pile one」

[the lesson]

pleasure (cb: temperance, queen of pentacles rv)

the next soul lesson that you will experience is that you are meant to open yourself up to the good things in life. while i was channeling your energy, i was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and stress - i think that is your current energy. there is a message that you're lacking balance in your life; all work and no fun. you may have a tendency to overwork yourself but don't necessarily reap the benefits of what you earn.

[what you are meant to learn]

life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. you are meant to find the balance between work and play - but right now, you're being encouraged to focus on fun!

[advice]

creativity, invention

indulge in creative outlets. whatever you are called to - music, art, writing - do not worry about if the product is not perfect. simply focus on creating!

if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!

「pile two」

[the lesson]

self-esteem (cb: nine of cups rv, six of wands rv)

your next soul lesson is rebuilding your self-esteem. i think there was a recent event in your past where you suffered from a significant loss or failure. regardless of what it was, it significantly impacted the way you view yourself. i keep hearing the words "ego death." you may have lost sight of what you wanted to do in life or simply just suffered from a loss of confidence in yourself because of this event.

[what you are meant to learn]

you are meant to learn that outside opinions do not matter. trust yourself; relying on others for validation or approval will only leave you feeling empty when they are not willing to shower you with it. stand up for yourself and your beliefs - you are not meant to abandon yourself in favor of winning the approval of others.

[advice]

grace (cb: the hierophant rv, queen of wands)

it's okay to go against the grain. you're meant to stand out and shine; do not let others dim your light. i heard "give yourself grace." feel your feelings, but do not let doubt or shame consume you. oftentimes when people are openly judgemental, they are simply jealous that they can't be as open and confident as others are.

if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!

「pile three」

[the lesson]

deprivation (cb: nine of cups, death rv)

i think that there is something that you are ignoring in your life. i get a strong feeling that you are putting up a confident facade that everything is okay in your life - almost like if you keep telling that to others, you will eventually believe it too. i think you are depriving yourself of feeling your feelings and consequently, you are prolonging this cycle in your life. while i was trying to channel your energy, i kept getting distracted by random things. i believe you may be filling your time with countless distractions since you are afraid or unwilling to be alone with your thoughts. i see an image of someone scrolling on their phone while simultaneously watching T.V., as well as someone blaring music through their headphones to drown out their thoughts.

[what you are meant to learn]

invention (cb: six of wands rv, four of swords)

your next soul lesson is that you are meant to allow yourself to rest and feel your emotions. you cannot move past this pain or failure by simply ignoring it. pain demands to be felt, it will not disappear until you acknowledge it. although this isn't the advice section, your guides/universe/spirit are encouraging you to use your preferred creative outlet to express these emotions.

[advice]

devotion

you're being called to spend time in nature. connect back with the earth and take in the natural beauty of the world. it will help.

if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!

tarot decks used in this reading: ask your guides oracle deck, and the linestrider tarot.

[simpxxstan]

Hi! Been reading your fics svt as you best friend’s brother and im hooked, my favorite would be vernon’s!!! Idk if you still accept request but if you do, can i request Joshua + as your brother’s bestfriend?

P.S. i really like your writing style! 🥰

this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.

thank you for enjoying my work <3 and thanks for the request, it was wonderful to work on it!! altho i wrote like 4 versions because i so unsatisfied but finally settled on this, really hoping that you'll like it1 and again, i'm so sorry for being late, i hope you still enjoy this :)

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who you certainly don't approve of at all

"i don't like this new friend you have." you tell your brother straight up when joshua leaves your house after dinner. it's the first time he's visited your house since your brother and he became inseparable. you've heard a lot about him and to be fair, you'd expected him to be .... not like what you realise he is.

it's nothing tangible, though. joshua is all politeness and manners, but there's an air about him which constantly reminds you that he belongs to old money, an air of superiority that seems to be ingrained in his manner of walking and talking.

and the worst bit is that everyone is so taken with him. ever since he's joined your high school, it's become amply clear that everyone loves joshua hong. some because of his wealth, others because of his looks.

"sis, he didn't even bother you. how the hell do you not like him?" your brother's low grumble annoys you, as if he has a right to ask you this although he freely drops his opinions about all your new college friends. "i don't know, really. but the vibes are... vibes are bad."

vernon rolls his eyes. "you're just mad because he's not into you, isn't it?" the words don't leave his mouth before he gets a very subtle kick in his shin that dumps him on the floor.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who rarely ever gets curious about people, but somehow he just cannot understand you

he's seen enough people already and now he can flag each person by their type. but you don't seem to fit into any of the boxes he can so easily segregate humans into. for one, you're very lowkey, just like vernon. but unlike your brother, you're not laidback nor are you cool, at all, really. you're very tight-wound, always on your guard, your wide eyes taking in everything around you.

"okay you're scaring me now," joshua spins around and meets your gaze, squinting to try and understand what thoughts lurk beneath those judgy little eyes.

"what have i done?" "you can't be judgmental during a creative process!" "i have literally not spoken a word and yet you think i'm judging you." "that's cause you are," joshua stands up and walks to you, hands on his hips, desperately trying to keep a cool face as he tries to read your mind. you cock your head to one side, meeting his stare, "oh yeah? how's that so?" "your eyes are boring holes into my back, i can feel them, you know." you stand up, your height nowhere close to joshua's but the strength of your gaze strong enough to pin his attention, "that's just the voice in your head, nuthead. you know your song is trash and you're dumping it on me now."

"hey!" vernon protests, and joshua smirks, "see i told you she was judging us! well, you can keep your judgement to yourself, miss chwe-" "yeah, i was gonna-" "and maybe leave the room while the artists are busy creating art your silly brain cannot understand."

you gasp, "you can't kick me out of my own room, you nobody!" "but he can," he says, pointing to vernon, "he's your brother." "not really, i'm gonna tell mom-" joshua loves seeing you get riled up, loves to see at least some emotion on your face. "okay, my whiney lil girl, go tell mommy," he bends down to your level and winks, his breath catching at the very audible sound of your gasp.

and it works, somehow. did he just intimidate you? or irritate you? whatever he's done, now you do leave the room, but not before flipping off him and vernon. that hurts his ego a little bit, but at least he won't have to feel your judgy eyes stare at his back while he's composing the masterpiece he and vernon are going to perform at the next party. that's a win in his books.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua whose somehow everywhere you go, almost like a shadow

of course, some of it is thanks to your brother. and the rest of it is because he has a lot of common classes with you. and although he's a new student, he's quickly become the apple of the eye of many teachers too.

"if you're really so good at creative literature, why can't you write your lyrics yourself!" you huff at him when he shoves the notebook towards you across the table once again. "that's because i've got writer's block, you idiot. why can't you just be nice to me for once, i'm just asking for some help!"

joshua's looking at you with the most helpless puppy eyes he can manage, but you're not falling for his tricks. "you're getting me distracted with this, i know what you're doing." your hand stretches across the table, pushing the notebook back to him. "distracting you? it's one damn verse-" "joshua, you're trying to distract me from working on the essay due this week, aren't you?"

joshua's eyes bulge. "what? woman, now you're overdoing this. i don't even know why you have these kinds of illusions about me. i haven't done anything to you." "but i know your type of guy," you eye him seriously, and he cocks an eyebrow. "whatever it is, you've got me wrong, y/n." for a second, you're almost convinced, but then you look at the rolex resting casually on his wrist.

"no i'm not, joshua. there are hundreds of other people, eager to write your song lyrics, but no, you come to me. why? you're an attention whore, you only pester me because i push you away. the day that i give in, you'll be gone, and -"

joshua leans in until he's almost breathing the same air as yours. "and what, y/n?" you pause for a second to frame your words correctly, but joshua takes up the chance, "then you'll realize that you've got me all wrong, because i never left you at all?"

there's some rawness in his voice, a rugged angle that's new in his usually sugary sweet voice, and it leaves you disoriented for a long minute, your thoughts scattered, your heart racing and your intuition anxious. have you really got him all wrong? but he's already gone by then, gone before you've predicted, and you have no second chance to call him back to tell him that you'd already thought of lines for the verse last night when you'd heard your brother sing the rest of the song.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's looking for you in the crowd when he performs at the party tonight, but it's a search in vain

he wants to ask vernon if he knows where you are, but he doesn't want to sound desperate. doesn't want to sound like an attention whore, doesn't want you the pleasure to think that maybe you're right. because no. you're not. he's not thirsting for your attention. he's not yearning for one soft look from your eyes because he can never understand what's going on behind them. he's not going insane every night wondering what you really think of him. he's not longing to see your fake guard fold in two so that he can tell you that he-

Hope you listen to this song 'cause I, I, I... 'Cause I'm doing right just fine. I'm doing alright, doing alright. he sings, but he really hopes no one sees it on his face that he's not, in fact, doing alright. no one has affected him to this extent, to the extent that it's plaguing his thoughts all day and all night whether they hate him or not. and the fact that even this is occurring is concerning enough for joshua to feel his stomach twist in anger and anxiety, although he can see the crowd happily sway to their song.

and then vernon sings, I can't get you out of my head, yeah, Gotta get you out of my head, yeah. How can you be so fine when ... and joshua remembers how he wrote this verse thinking about your icy eyes when you stare at him when he's standing in front of the class, giving a presentation that the teacher's asked him to deliver, staring at him like he's not good enough.

I'm doing great myself, Hope you know I am... and how joshua wrote these lives in a feverish whisper in the middle of the night when your words from last afternoon had come rushing to his mind and he'd lost all sleep. because he is doing great, isn't he? he is. he doesn't need your attention. he doesn't need your approval. he doesn't even need your affirmation.

except the voice in his head knows he does. he knows it because it's at this moment that he sees you in the crowd, standing far away from the stage so he hopes you don't know he's staring right at you, but he can feel the burn of your gaze even through the blinding lights.

and the song ends with a final strum of his guitar, vernon singing, I'm super fine, I don't need you anymore... and joshua can't help but whisper out, into his microphone

i need you

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's looking too good for even you to resist tonight, with the signature black jacket and a single vein popping out on his neck

you don't even know why you came tonight. something something about your mother asking you to check on vernon and make sure he's not getting high. something something about this being the last weekend before you get into study mode for finals. something something about you being curious about what joshua finally wrote in that verse.

and while you've seen your brother perform quite a few times, seeing joshua on stage gives you a different kind of goosebumps. the kind of goosebumps that leave you wondering what is wrong with you that you're so mean to him on an every day basis when he's so beautiful and so talented.

i'll give him a chance, you think, when you walk towards backstage. you confidently enter the tiny room that's labelled as backstage, but you find your brother making out desperately with someone in a corner so you jump out of the room immediately...

"looking for someone?" and bump into the person you've actually been looking for. when you turn around, his eyes leave you breathless, and you think that he is right. you have got him all wrong.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who can finally read your eyes because he's taken you by surprise and you can't mask your feelings so quickly

and now he's got you in his arms, and he knows that vernon is up to something inside the room, so he slowly slides you away from the room and against the wall next to it. "did you watch me?" not us. me. because joshua wants to know desperately what you think about him.

"i did." "and? what did you think?" your pretty eyes flitter about, trying to avoid his gaze avidly, but his hand slips under your chin so that you do look at him. "don't make me lose my mind, y/n. tell me, please."

so you finally look at him. really look at him. no shields, no guards, no distances. "i thought you were damn good, joshua hong. that's what i thought."

joshua's hand slips from under your chin and falls to his side. "and? what did you think of the song?" there's a hint of a smile in your eyes, and he can see them crinkle into a smile before your mouth can. "i thought it was very emotional. i didn't think you to be capable of such raw emotion. was it for someone?"

and he knows this is the moment. he knows it is because all the voices in his head are ringing like sirens with only one answer. "yes, you."

and you gasp and joshua leans in to press a kiss to your mouth. it's a soft kiss, barely a peck, a request for permission, a test to check the tides. so when you lean into him, chasing his lips, he loses all control.

"y/n chwe, you're driving me insane," he mutters, as he slowly tastes all of your lips, feeling the plush and the warmth of the one thing he's craved for months now. "pl- please, don't fight this feeling," he knows he's begging, but he doesn't care. all he wants is your softness against his hands and your warmth spreading to his body and your lips smashing again and again against his own lips.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's eyes bulge out of their sockets, his lipstick smudged against the corner of his mouth, a pathetic whine leaving his throat as you push him away

there's an emergency siren ringing in your head right now, and all you want to do is fall back into his arms, but you can't. you simply cannot. because that would mean you've fallen for his games, become prey to his tactics and he'd win again.

you have to fight the feeling because you know tomorrow morning he'll be gone, and never come back, because he's got you under his grasp now. so you do the first thing the rush of adrenaline tells you to do- run.

you run all the way home, locking yourself into your room, biting down on the rough edges of your t-shirt to stop yourself from screaming because your mind is still reeling from the taste of the forbidden fruit. you know deep down, that you have lost to joshua. you've given yourself up to him, let your guard down, and if you see him right now, you may just fold.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who doesn't give up looking for you, and finally finds you in the corner of the library the next afternoon, skipping lunch in favour of revising biology

thankfully, you're too engrossed in your notes to realise when he's taken the seat next to you, it's only after he softly calls out your name that you jerk up with surprise, "oh it's you."

and then a second later, when joshua's hand is halfway across the gap between you two, you whisper out louder, "oh it's you." he pauses. "yeah, y/n, it is me. what's wrong?"

you don't respond immediately. you stare at his outstretched hand, at the confusion etched on his features and the way your knees are touching under the desk. "you came looking for me?" joshua doesn't understand why you look so dazed, but he replies softly, leaning in, "of course. why wouldn't i?"

and then you lean into him and kiss him. wow that was simple, joshua's mind still confused at what just happened, but he doesn't miss the opportunity. his hand finds your arm, and he pulls you closer to kiss you, to taste you in every way he couldn't last evening. "i want you, y/n. why do you run away from me?"

and joshua doesn't know why, but you laugh. it's the sound of rain falling on leaves, the sound of tinkling beads, the sound of piano keys played on a midsummer night. "i promise i won't anymore, joshua. because i admit, i want you too." and you kiss him again, and somehow, his curiosity becomes the last thing on his mind. not when you're busy rearranging his brain chemicals to make sure he's addicted to your scent, your taste and your touch and he can never live without you now.

[agirlwithglam]

becoming selfish is the best thing i ever did.

✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💖🕯

💖 stop going into arguments with people who are not willing to listen. it is completely useless. if your boundaries were crossed, and the other person is not willing to say "im sorry for doing that, i won't do it again", then conversation over. its done. its not worth your time or energy.

🕯prioritise your own needs and wants. fill your own cup! are you okay? are you whole? if you don't want to do something, dont do it. whatever you want, comes first.

💖 stop being always available and trying to save everyone. if you keep on being there for people- again and again and again, you are letting people use you. people will only reach out to you if they have problems or they need help. but what about when everything is going good? then what? do they come to you? you are showing them that they can always come to you and you will always be there but that shouldn't be the case. be able to say "i dont want to listen to your problems today. i have enough of my own problems and goals to worry about." the only reason they come is because YOU allow them to come.

you ask yourself why does anyone not make sure i am ok? thats because YOU do not make sure you're okay. remember that you cannot save everyone. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE EVERYONE.

🕯sometimes god gives you situations so you can grow. also if you are constantly trying to step in for God to help and save everyone, you may also be sabotaging God's plan. people give certain problems/ situations in their life because God gives it to them so they can grow wiser and better! why are you trying to save them? its not your responsibility.

💖 be okay with people misunderstanding you. if you have a goal or a dream in your life, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. people come from different households, religions, schools, etc. they will not understand you or have the same mindset/ heart as you. be OKAY with people not understanding you. they are not you.

"oh why did they hurt me/ treat me like that, i would never do that to them" honey, they're not you. they don't have the same personality or heart as you. if you're constantly gonna go through life thinking that everyone has the same heart as you, you will be hurt. i have done that so often thinking that i'm a good friend to them so they will do the same back, its not always true. you will be hurt. people are just different. and thats okay! let them be.

🕯realise that you can only change yourself. stop trying to change people. they will not change unless they are willing to. our human nature is comfort- humans love comfort. in order to change, it takes going through discomfort. it takes strength. some people are completely oblivious to themselves- they think that everything is perfect and nothing is wrong with them, etc. and yk what? let them be. you cannot change them. but you can change yourself. and if you do not want to change, you're not going to change. no one can force you to change unless you want to. by trying to change others and help them become their best version, you're wasting your energy to become YOUR best version and to create your dream life!

💖 stop needing people to validate your self worth. "i dont need anyone to tell me how good i am. i dont need anyone to tell me how beautiful i am or smart i am. because i see those qualities in myself already." KNOW who you are. if you get a compliment, say thankyou, be grateful. but don't crave it. be okay with not receiving it and not needing it because you already know that you're all that. if you need that compliment or words from other people, then they are basically in charge of you because their opinion can change your reality entirely and shake you. when YOU are the one that always creates your own reality! be strong in your ownself otherwise you'll be like their little puppet. know that you know what? im amazing. i've been through so much stuff in life but i'm still coming out strong and i'm still standing.

🕯treat yourself as your own best friend. talk to yourself! in her video, liz said that she talks to herself before bed and tells herself about her day. (for that i recommend videoing yourself! its so much fun) or when she's stressed she says to herself why are you feeling stressed? what exactly are you feeling? and then she tells herself and talks to herself. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. hype yourself up in your mind! comfort yourself, have a conversation, etc. give the advice to yourself. go on dates with yourself, hug yourself, love yourself.

💖 less chasing, more attracting. being feminine basically means letting it flow and go. being calm and at peace. being relaxed because you know that you attract all your blessings. when you're not desperately looking for things, or chasing after things, then your whole. your energy is whole. when the energy of desperation is gone, then you can attract everything you want into your life.

🕯only add great people to your life. make sure that whoever you date, are friends with, hang around- they need to add value to your life. its not only in terms of money, its also in terms of are you making me happy? are you reciprocating my energy? people that are always negative or always complaining, do not allow them into your life. do not be friends with people who are being miserable then complain about being miserable but don't do anything about it.

💖 stop seeking other people's permission to do whats best for you. you don't need someone to say "you can do it!" because you know you can. be independent- liz doesn't need to ask anyone for money because she is already making her own money. she is doing everything for herself. she has everything she need to support herself and people she loves.

like how cocky are you to think that you know be better than i know myself? lol. you have not been through what i have been through. you have not lived my life and yet you're here deciding whats good for me and what i should be doing? um, no thanks! xoxo.

[arcaneconfessions]

I’ll tell you why I dislike Caitlyn more than Ambessa or Silco, it’s because of the character’s subjective morality. By her own morals, Ambessa is doing what she thinks is right, her Noxian upbringing is a reason about why she feels so strongly about mages (they betray that war makes everyone equal hence they are a threat that must be taken out) and why she thinks softness is nothing but a weakness. Her worldview is shaped by the brutalities of war that she’s constantly exposed to (and engages in) which makes her this incredibly ruthless and cut throat character.

Silco is all about the “base violence necessary for change”, his convictions are shown when he invited Vander to join him DESPITE the brutal attempted drowning because he’s motivated by the “greater good”- for Zaun, he emerged a stronger resilient man after the violence done to him. He’s willing to give up shimmer and himself for the sake of Zaun’s freedom (but not Jinx). What I’m getting at is this: you can’t look at people’s actions in isolation because their environment shapes their morality and decisions, Ambessa because she was born in Noxus, Silco is like this because he was born in Zaun, I’m not justifying them but explaining how distorted their worldview is because of their environment, they don’t exist in a vacuum where they do evil things despite knowing better because it’s shown that they are trying to do good.

Cait is different because she was given everything from breathable air, to a safe place to sleep at night, food and even the ability to choose her own path regardless of her parents disapproval- the kids in Zaun are forced to work and steal to survive. HER PRIVILEGES ARENT HER FAULT AT ALL. In s1 we see that despite having it all, she wants things on her own merit and tries to help despite not needing to. She has an incredibly strong moral centre with deep conviction. Like Vi says “she believes what she’s saying” when she disagrees with Ekko saying that enforcers hunt them like animals and she even backs it up- ex reassessing her opinion of Zaun, willing to give up her rifle within that “dangerous place” to save Vi, embracing a shimmer addict (those branded monsters) simply because he was hurting, using her connections to help Vi etc.  She tells Ekko to give up the gemstone instead of using it to kill Silco because of the cycle of violence, and I believe her since she showed that she isn’t ignoring his pain but giving him better hopes than bloody revenge. 

S2 shows me i was wrong to like the sheltered, sorta prejudiced but kindhearted girl who always strives to be better because her morals are paper thin and just for show. She has direct knowledge of how bad the grey is because Cassandra documents it- shown in the hellfire music video and the fact that Viktor (her brother’s friend) is dying from it even years later. Yet she still uses it on the streets. Gas spreads obviously and chembarons use child labour in their factories (thanks Jayce)- there’s no way to stop third party effects of the grey. Imagine how bad it must be for Zaunites, who breathe in the air that even trees cannot survive in, immediately suffocate and tear up with their eyes turning red?  She controls their right to breathe and she immediately uses it against them, all the while calling them animals knowing the truth. 

She insists that she wouldn’t have missed her shot (ignoring the fact that she DID just miss her shot when she had a clear go at Jinx’s head and went for her middle finger AND that the hextech weapons were glitching out) and used that as justification for being prejudiced against Vi (“I keep telling myself you are different but you are not, it’s her blood in your veins”) and hitting her where she was stabbed- after taking a calming breath, leaving her and not even looking for her afterward. 

And again she ignores the fact that Isha would have been harmed either by being that close to an exploding head (which she knows because she tells Vi to get out the way) or being killed alongside Jinx because their heads were aligned- Vi was not wrong to call her out in the slightest. 

She knows the things she’s been told about Zaun are wrong, that they need healing and understanding rather than condemnation but so quickly switches back- using othering language and prejudice, literally calling them animals and Vi one of the good ones until Vi doesn’t do as she wants then saying that she’s no different. 

btw she has full right to hate jinx, not saying that she needs to be the bigger person (even if she says that to ekko) but there is NO justification for taking that out on Zaun knowing what she knows or Vi for telling the truth.

So yeah both Ambessa and Silco don’t have the luxury of a kind life, they were both shaped by the brutal realities of their environment and that turns them into brutal people. These guys are villains who do awful things, I hold them at different standards because 1) their role in the story and 2) at the very least they are doing what they think is best rather than knowing better and being evil despite it all. Caitlyn knows better, she has seen Zaun firsthand and has the luxury of having a good life and the ability to recognise that privilege and that allows for a stable moral compass and world view. Jinx is not justification for the grey on Zaun’s streets, or hitting Vi for telling the truth- she knows better and doesn’t care. Even then she gives up because she didn’t have the energy to hate herself for doing these things, not because she got her head out of her ass and saw the impact of what she’s doing. It’s to do with her emotions.

.