#but i suppose i’ll deal
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andreas straka goes fourth in the chl import draft!!
#quebec remparts you have chosen well#another baby boy lost to canada.#but i suppose i’ll deal#i love him a lot okay#my most beloved magpie#andreas straka#svk u18
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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guess who found an extremely janky art program he can draw in!!! this guy!!! i decided to try drawing in someone’s strawpage and it’s really fun i love it. these’re all from the past 3 days!!! not in chronological order because if it were then my awfully jpeg compressed first attempt would be the first thing you see and i just can’t handle that. anyways!!! enjoy my fellas
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#i think it’s really funny how only one of these isn’t a siffrin of some kind#a single mibel for your troubles#also!!! since i’ve seen some people ask#strawpage is basically like. a tumblr askbox for sites that aren’t tumblr#you can send someone anon asks and drawings!!! it’s really fun#for some reason whenever mine get posted to twitter they get a bunch of random dots on them though? which is. odd#it’s not usually that big of a deal but like. if you saw these on twitter. those aren’t supposed to be there#also. by the time this posts it’ll be my birthday!! i’ll be 18 and stuff!! i’ll make a proper post later but!! still!!
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drawing this au isn’t enough I need it injected in my bloodstream
#I love this au so much#chat I promise I’ll talk about it more#hnnng I love arranged marriage akikoha that was only supposed to deal with Akitos anger issues#But they ended up loving each other so much without knowing the true intentions#I love solider Akito#dies#project sekai#akito shinonome#kohane azusawa#akikoha#shinonome akito#vivid bad squad#azusawa kohane#akihane#lyn-ne’s art#vbs akito#vbs kohane#project sekai fanart#arrangement
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mother taught me how to spend money freely, father taught me how to spend money tightly, and I taught myself how to be an anxious wreck about those two sides yippee!
#last night we were just generally having a convo about money#and my sister just started the guitar which ig good for her but the place she’s going to apparently offers drum lessons for a lot cheaper#than my current place and my mother mentioned how my place was an unreasonable price and ‘haram’ to spend so much money on it#which makes sense and is fine#but saying all of that right before bed actually made me cry a little about how im just a perpetual waste of money#and when I told her (in a jokingish tone) that I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I’d be overthinking money#she got annoyed because aren’t we supposed to be transparent about these kind of things and im old enough to deal with this maturely#so yeah I might swap drum places which I’ll miss my current teacher but whatever#blippity blap#I really should shut up ngl
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#it should be noted that I tried distracting myself from wanting to be dead in a hole and no longer have teeth or shame or the horrors#by watching Grey’s Anatomy#because other people’s made up drama is better than whatever my brain is giving me right now#and I ended up watching an episode where a major character#has a dental abscess that gives her a bacterial heart infection and heart attack and all the complications that follow.#I would just like to say#fuck my life#I KNOW THIS IS FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS#I JUST#WANT TO ***#RATHER THAN EVER DEAL WITH TEETH EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE#I’ll never forgive my mom and my old dentist and hygienists for being ‘kind’ but shaming me so much for so many years without ever once help#*helping me#what was I supposed to do with that?#I can’t hate myself into taking better care of my teeth#and it’s such a beast to overcome that I barely make a dent before something throws me off the bandwagon and I’m terrified to even feel that#I have a mouth all over again!!!#shh katie#there’s no way that one of my teeth at least will be savagely#*salvagable#it needed a root canal in 2021 there’s no way#but if I need teeth pulled I genuinely will spiral#it’s the ultimate shame#EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE IN OUR FAMILY HAVE HAD TO HAVE THAT DONE#even though my mom and sister have had tons of cavities!#it was never allowed for ME#I was supposed to be the PERFECT one#who never ever had any of the issues my older siblings or parents did#and it’s all taken as me not caring or being lazy or being stupid and uninformed and it’s NOT#I DON’T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS EITHER CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT
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Commissioned by @greenvillainredemption once again to draw their lovely miss Claudia, this time with fem!Bruno. I haven’t drawn a genderbend character since middle school, and never with an older character, so this was really new and fun to do! I love their fem!Bruno design and headcanons given to me for reference, and the colors used in their own art. Thanks again for commissioning me!
#my commissions#encanto#disney#my art#digital art#art#cartoon#pride art#madrigay days#madrigaydays#I don’t know if this qualifies for the madrigays because it doesn’t follow a specific prompt#but I suppose it doesn’t hurt to tag if more people doing or following that challenge would enjoy this content#I also usually let the commissioner post the art and I’ll reblog it#but I absolutely don’t mind posting it myself if that’s what they want#these disclaimers are so not a big deal but I’m autistic and always afraid of being misjudged for the smallest things
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it’s in times like these that i show my inner child to the world and get hurt yet again.. i just always think it’ll be a better experience “this time” and life always proves me wrong.. but will this time be different? only time will tell
#i let my bio dad buy me work shoes a jacket transfer me money and give me weed#because why not#i need those things why not let the person who was supposed to provide for me as a child provide for me now#i’m gonna get hurt again#i KNOW it#but i guess i’ve decided i’ll deal with it#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd vent#bpd mood#bpd problems#daddy issues
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u don't have to answer this bc i think u just deleted it but who tf is vaguing you... you're a fantastic artist making beautiful beautiful pieces of art and i am constantly in awe of the things you're creating. i barely play the sims anymore let alone participate in the community at all but i have you on notifs forever and ever bc of your storytelling and skill. i am genuinely shocked to see someone talking shit bc i don't even knwo what it wld be about. anyway i keep coming back to look at ur recent edit and it's so tender and evokes such a comforting quiet feeling. anyway. u can ignore me or delete this like i said i just want u to know u've got ppl out in the crowd rooting for u byeee
imagine me crying…..
thank you so much, genuinely. i don’t even know how to accept this properly to show my level of appreciation. this means so much to me.
just gotta remind myself i am a real artist and writer and no one can take it from me. i have talent!!! suck it!!!
#it’s honestly not even a big deal like it’s stupid but i’ve just got so much going on that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back lol#any other time i would have laughed it off and Le Epically Own this person but. man. i’m still crying#it’s a culmination!! i suppose#i don’t know if this person knew how much it would hurt me but it’s still a shitty thing to do regardless#like i don’t know why you couldn’t just share your opinion without attacking me as a person? whatever!#i’ll feel better in the morning i just can’t sleep bc of it is the problem lmfao#and tomorrow is going to be a Bad Day also which is.#btchwzrd#ask
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this particular seed is located on the other side of tal’dorei, but thinking general terrah thoughts—whether the thing “rooted beneath” could be related to the primordials or to mortals (or both)
#basil.ramblings#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#i’d LOVE if they go more into the miners potentially fucking up like. the stability of the rift. it’s about mortal hubris#also it’s the brainrot but y’know who else tampered with powerful elemental magic—#also there’s a passage that talks about the somewhat strained relationship between terrah + zephrah bc of the difference#in general temperaments (the freedom/fun of air vs the stability of earth)#it reminds me of when orym gave ashton the flower somewhat jokingly and they were like. what the fuck am i supposed to do with this#WHICH IS SO FUN & INTERESTING BC WE MIGHT GO THERE. AH#we’re already dealing with the celestial/divine nature of ruidus with the keys & the gate; if we don’t delve into its elemental roots#i’ll die. also the fact that they still have 11 days until the solstice & one key left to destroy. the hishari lore summoning circle#remains strong ahsjdj (although idk how i feel about the Clock y’know. so if it happens after i’ll also be rlly happy)
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TW for grief rambling, and mourning an abuser
Will it ever stop feeling weird? Grief, I mean. Grieving people that have done objectively monstrous things to you is incredibly isolating because it’s like nobody understands why you’re grieving, and most days you don’t either. God we just need to hear from someone else that’s been in this situation. Please tell me we’re not alone.
For losing someone so close to us, it feels like it should hurt more. And sometimes less.
I feel like I should regret more, but sometimes I just can’t. Or at least I can’t admit to myself or the others when I regret something.
This woman raised me for almost half of my life. We were strangers for the last five years.
I love(d? No… still love, I think.) her more than myself, more than my parents and siblings, I can’t begin to describe the deep seated loyalty I felt towards her for some reason.
She was the best and worst memories of my life.
Even being forced to relocate so much I always tried to get back to her, to where I thought my home was, and she’d try to keep me no matter how it tore everyone else apart. Until the day I gave up coming back, which had its own reasons.
We spent the last two months of her life together every day. I don’t even remember what I’m trying to say. But nothing feels real. I just want her back so fucking bad. It feels weird to grieve someone that did horrific evil things to you but still showed you the most love.
How am I supposed to go on after this?
#please forgive me#I’m on Benadryl right now and we’re also visiting Home (the house she and I and our other aunt lived in together)#grief#dealing with grief#how am I supposed to move on?#I wasn’t supposed to outlive her#every time I was forcefully taken away from her I also had to uproot my life from the same home and school and friends as well#and then eventually we’d get to come back#and I think that had a very weird effect on how I processed things if that makes sense#with her gone and coming back to a place that has radically changed in the years of my absence#it feels like mourning a whole separate life I’ll have to let go of too#letting go of the hope that I’d ever get to return to it.#I spent so many of my developing years dedicated to Returning.#there’s nothing to return to left.#who’s fronting? anyone’s guess
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( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ ) good mornin!! its finally the wknd!! yay!! :3 its 12/30 over here in the states but im wishing a HUGE happy nye/new yr to all of my sweets in dif timezones!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ you’ve done an amazing job in 2023 & im so excited to see what 2024 brings you all!! <33 lets finish out this yr strong w spreading sm love & light to others!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و squeezin you in a HUGE hug!!!
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#happy saturday!!! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ i wrk all day today but im off tmrw & mon!! woo!!#i wonder what you & your faves will get up to this nye hehee!! i’ll have to try to make my lil rounds & see ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡#OOO GOOD NEWS!!! i got a SUPER amazing deal on a SUPER RARE psycho pass enamel pin & ITS COMING TODAY!!!! :D#it was supposed to get here on tues!!! ig shinya rlly can’t stay away from me huh ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ꒱ྀིა hehee!!#i’ll show you guys a lil pic when i get home from work!! its SO PRETTY!! & ITS 2/5 !!!! LIKE ONLY 5 WERE MADE!!! & NOW I OWN THE 2ND!!!#okie i gotta get up & get ready for work but i will catch up w you guys there!! :3 i got sm to dooo on here im sorry i’ve been slackin!!!!#ILYA SO SO SO SOOOO MUCH!!! i hope your ‘23 was as great as you are!! ꒰ ˃̶̤́ ꒳ ˂̶̤̀ ꒱ MWAH!! a massive smooch from me to you!!!
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my brainrot is unending and I am thanking blaming you
babe I think about that all the time
#sea glass gardens#blaming me is a point of pride I’ll inflict this on all of you#god#like inherently they were fucked from the start#they were two little kids who didn’t have any options and there were a lot of people who wanted to hurt them#and I think what’s inherently tragic is that both just wanted to save the other and couldn’t#like Megumi especially#he made the deal to sell himself to save his sister#the only thing he cared about was Tsumikis happiness#it was never ‘will I be okay’ it was ‘will she be happy’#the sheer horror of being on the other side of losing her when it was always supposed to be you#they couldn’t save each other but they wanted to#does that still matter?
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[POINTS AT YOU ENTHUSIASTICALLY] LONGSWORD CLASSES!!! thats THE COOLEST omg i hope you have fun!! similarly, i have vaguely taken archery classes before, so we simply must exchange weapon skills once you're done and we'll be golden hkjhg
Yess!!! I’m very excited for long sword classes for July it’s going to be sick 😎. I found out about it at the renaissance fair after watched really sick real knight battles and my friends and I decided yep that’s what we are doing this summer. I used to take archery as a kid and even had my own bow but I’m afraid I’m quite rusty lol I haven’t touched it in a while. Together you and I will be unstoppable!!
#ask tag#mutual ask#both my friends have long swords I feel like I need buy one now lol#there’s some good deals on Etsy I just need to keep my eyes peeled when I got that kinda money lol#we always wanted to fight with swords now we get to live the dream#I was also supposed to go hunting as a kid with my bow but it never happened and now I don’t think I have the heart for it#I feel guilty over accidentally killing a spider I can’t go hunting 😭#like it’s important to my culture and all that and how my grandparents have food for winter but I can’t lol#I’ll do the berry picking and weaving lol
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i swear i get anxious over the weirdest things sometimes…like the idea of someone i fired from a temp agency coming back to work the next day
#this guy no called no showed technically 3 times#he was supposed to start at 4 and i start at 7 btw#two of the times he messaged me late in the morning#one was a legit emergency as far as i’m aware (circumstances a little sus)#the other he overslept and asked to come in later instead of ya know ‘:sorry i’ll be right there’#the time he didn’t say anything he showed up the next day even though i told the temp agency not to have him come back#until we figured out what was goi g on with him#and i didn’t find out what happened until I went up and asked him like….#idk first thing i’d tell my boss as soon as i could would be ‘sorry here’s what happened’#i also should have trusted my gut cause i was iffy on him from the start#and i’m anxious about it cause the temp agency said he hasn’t responded to their texts or calls#legit hope the dudes okay but working wise lmao i can’t deal with it#tbd
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tomorrow is my first day of classes as I go back to school for the first time in eight years and my family has picked today to blow up at each other and drag me into it
#VERY long story short#after my Papa died my dad buying the house out from my mom became a real possibility again#so all of us slowed down on the house sale stuff#and that included me shifting my focus from packing and looking for a place to getting ready to start school#but as of about two and a half hours ago my father is again freaking the fuck out#and saying we need to have the house ready to go on the market in seven fucking days#bc my mom has asked for a downpayment which he says he can’t afford#(when I asked him how much she was asking for he said he didn’t know. so it’s less ‘can’t’ and more ‘doesn’t want to’ but whatever)#anyway I asked him to ask bc if it comes down to it I would prefer to loan my dad the money for the downpayment#bc in exchange I get stability while I go back to school and the money I lose in interest would just be going to increased rent anyway#so now I get a text from my mother saying ‘do not give your father money for the downpayment’#and I’ve been trying so hard to be supportive of them both without it seeming like I’m ‘taking sides’#but I kind of snapped and said ‘I love you but don’t tell me what to do. I’m not doing this to ‘bail dad out’’#‘I’m doing this bc it’s the best option for me right now.’#and now she’s not responding to me#I fucking hate this#she needs the money. I need a stable place to live. let me loan him the money so YOU have the money mom!#I know you’re worried he won’t pay me back bc he’s proven to be less than honest with his finances in the past but also.#I’m his only kid. not to be macabre but I’ll be getting it back eventually one way or another unless he somehow writes me out of his will.#just fuckin. I’m supposed to be reading through my syllabuses and figuring out bullshit websites for school rn.#I don’t want to be dealing with family drama and impending homelessness rn pls chill#personal
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