#they couldn’t save each other but they wanted to

[lovegalor333]

lord please save her for me

paige bueckers x fem oc

hello! welcome to my new fic, i hope u like it! please let me know what y’all think, i have each chapter planned out but i’m not sure when i’ll update again. probably soon lmao 💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🪽🌟

chapter one:

leni knew the first time she saw paige again it would feel like a kick in the stomach but to say she felt winded was an understatement. the sight in front of her had her breath stuck in her throat, heart beating out of her chest and her head spinning, she had to rest on the wall to balance herself. it wasn’t out of character for paige to be here. it was frat party at the beginning of the semester. paige was almost guaranteed to be here. but leni would have betted her life that the blonde would’ve come with her friends not the red head, wearing barely any clothes that was latched onto her arm currently.

“you good babe?” leni’s girlfriend, riley asks from beside her. she reached out a hand to rest on lenis back but the curly haired girl shrugged her off, “im fine. just feeling hot. can you get me some water?” leni asks in hopes to have a moment alone with her thoughts to process what she just saw. paige with a girl that wasn’t her. her paige with a girl that looked nothing like her.

despite having a girlfriend herself, leni was far from a hypocrite. a year ago leni was bearing her heart, all but begging paige to turn thier friends with benefits deal into something more serious. they already spent evenings laid together in bed. weekends walking around target or studying together. off days lounging around each others apartments. they were only fucking each other too. what would a title change? apparently a lot to paige.

leni tried for days but paige could not be swayed, shaking her head and furrowing her brow each time leni brought up the idea of them being girlfriends.

“i just don’t do that kind of thing len.”

“what we have right now is good. why change it?”

“i’m focused on basketball, i don’t need distractions.”

leni reached her breaking point, telling paige it was either they make it official or they never see each other again. she couldn’t continue in ‘will they, won’t they’ cycle. leni had caught feelings for paige. feelings so deep she wanted to shout it from the rooftops and it felt like her entire world crashed down when paige said it was best if they didn’t see each other again.

leni cried for days on end. buried under her duvet, waiting and wishing for paige to call or text and say she was wrong. to say she cared for leni they way leni cared for her. but no call or text came and eventually leni had to pick herself up and dust herself off. life doesn’t end when a blue eyed girl breaks your heart.

paige saw leni as soon as she walked in. of course she did. paige would spot leni in a sea of a thousand people. her bouncy curls, longer than the last time paige saw them, her brown skin, still showing the remnants of summer, her dark brown eyes, deep as ever as they flitted around the room. paige also saw the blonde girl next to leni, the way her hand touched her back, the way her lips pressed to lenis temple. paige wanted to punch that girl right in the face.

“where are you going?” camilla, paiges girlfriend asks as paige begins to walk away from her, “just to find a toilet. i won’t be long.” paige lies and she hurries off before camilla can say anything in response. paige wasn’t going to find a toilet. paige was going to find leni and she knew exactly where she would be.

“let me guess. you needed some fresh air.” hearing paiges voice made lenis hairs stand on end. she hadn’t heard that raspy drawl in so long she had forgotten what it sounded like. “you never did like parties.” paige says standing next to leni on the front porch. leni refused to look at paige, staring straight ahead, she focused on a street lamp in the distance that flickered. “i still don’t.” she says and in her head, her voice was strong and brave but her lips betrayed her and her words came out shaky and low.

“why are you here then?” paige asks, ever the curious girl. “i came with my g- a fri-” leni couldn’t bring herself to say the word girlfriend to paige. it was stuck in her throat threatening to choke her. “your girlfriend. you can say it len. you came with your girlfriend.”

“yeah. i did. i came with my girlfriend. looks like you did too. never knew red heads were your thing.” leni all but spits at paige, finally building the courage to look at her. and when she does, the past twelve months of healing and moving on completely unravel and leni feels as though she about to faint.

paige looks the same but simultaneously so different. her hair is still blonde but it’s shorter and a lot brighter, like she’s just had highlights. her skin looks smoother, in fact she’s glowing. leni was sure she’d grown a few inches too, paige was always taller than her but not this much taller. and as bad as leni was trying not to look, it was clear paige had been in the gym. the crop top she wore exposed her toned stomach and muscular arms and leni’s heart rate quickened as memories of those very arms being wrapped around her not so long ago flashed in her mind.

“are blondes your thing or just girls that look like me?” paige retorts and leni scoffs, “get your head out of your ass paige. girls that don’t treat me like i’m nothing is my thing.” paige feels limp as leni says that, did she really make leni think she was nothing?

paige had a difficult time with relationships. she branded herself as ‘not a relationship girl’, blaming her focus on basketball as the reason but paige knew that was bullshit. paige wanted nothing more than to have a girl in the stands cheering for her, to come home after practice and her bedroom not be empty but growing up all paige knew was turbulent relationships and broken homes and she vowed to never hurt someone the way she watched her parents hurt each other. and the only way she knew how to do that was to avoid relationships altogether.

“you weren’t nothing to me, len.” paige defends herself but it feels pointless, lenis feelings were written on her face, she always found it hard to mask her emotions and nothing had changed.

“i’m sorry. what i did wasn’t fair. i was stupid, so fucking stupid. letting you go-” leni couldn’t hear this. not here, not now. not ever actually. leni had gone through hell and back trying to get over paige, just ask her friends who had hugged her while she sobbed, forced her eat when she refused, literally picked her up off the floor multiple nights in a row after she drank enough wine to make her forget paige ever existed.

“paige, stop. this conversation is futile and one year too late.” leni holds her hand up to stop paige from saying anymore. to stop her from saying the words she was begging to hear last year.

“i’ve changed len. i promise. i tried so hard, i worked so hard to change for you. i want to show you that.”

“have you lost your fucking mind? i have a girlfriend paige and so do you. i’m happy. someone loves me, cares for me and it’s not a secret. it’s not behind closed doors. i’m someone’s girlfriend and they’re proud of that. and it’s fucked up of you to say all this stuff now, all this time later. i wasn’t enough for you and that ripped my fucking heart to pieces!”

“you were enough. you are enough. i was just blind and scared.”

leni was fighting the tears that threatened to spill, she didn’t want to cry in front of paige, give her the satisfaction of knowing she still affected leni.

paige couldn’t bare to see leni cry, the way her eyes glossed over and nose turned red, the way her lip quivered made paiges heart pang with guilt because after all, she was the reason leni was crying. “please don’t cry. i meant what i said. i really am sorry. and i know it’s complicated but i couldn’t not tell you this. i couldn’t not at least try it would feel like i’m robbing us of a chance.”

leni has averted her gaze again, there was something about holding eye contact with paige that felt like two hands around her neck squeezing every last breath out of her. it was suffocating and all consuming. when she was around paige, leni didn’t feel like she was in the same realm as everyone else, she felt transported to somewhere far away but she had to bring herself back down to earth before she did or said something she regretted.

“a year ago you looked me in my eyes and said it would be for the best if we never saw each other again and you were right paige. i shouldn’t have come to this stupid party and you shouldn’t have followed me out here. from now on, we go back to how it was before. you don’t know me. i don’t know you.”

“but i do know you len and you know me. so well.” paige does what she’s been dying to do since stepping outside with leni and she reaches out and touches her cheek. wiping a stray tear but her hand lingers and lenis eyes flutter closed at the feeling of paige. a feeling she’s craved for so long now, a feeling she’s dreamt about experiencing again.

paige has always felt a magnetic pull towards leni. the first time she met her, she was intrigued. she wanted to know more about the dark, curly haired girl. they sat for hours the first time they spoke then they ended up in paiges bed and paige got her wish of knowing more about leni. she knew leni so well it was as if she’d studied her. she knew what made her tick, how push her buttons, how to make her feel good. paige could read leni like a book, answering her questions before leni even asked them. that’s not what scared paige though. she knew she could control her feelings. what scared paige was the fact leni knew her in the same way. if paige bueckers was a book, leni had every word committed to memory.

leni placed her hand over paiges, still cupping her face, “paige, i can’t-” she begins to speak but paige cuts her off. “tell me you love her more than me. tell me what you have feels realer than what we had. tell me that and i’ll leave you alone.”

leni couldn’t say that. she couldn’t say any of it because it wasn’t true. she’s never loved anyone the way she loves paige and she doubts she ever will. but leni needed to protect herself. paige hurt her and leni couldn’t cope with that again and she had no reason to believe paige when she said she’d changed.

“don’t do that.” leni says looking at paige, her eyes as blue as ever, round and soft, pulling leni in. “don’t make this my decision. you walked away from me.”

“and it was the biggest mistake of my life.” paige says, eyes flicking down to lenis lips. she wanted to kiss her so bad. push her up against the wall, press her body into hers, one hand on her hip, the other in her hair. she wanted their lips to be on each other’s, she wanted to taste lenis cherry lip balm, tongues moving in sync as they meshed into one being.

“a mistake you’ll have to live with. i care about myself too much to risk being destroyed by the whirlwind that comes along with you paige.” lenis voice breaks as she turns away from paige as much as she believed paige was the reason they never worked out, she couldn’t help but feel like she walking away from what she’s always wanted.

“leni please-” paiges voice also faltered as she tried to pull leni back but the girl was strong and determined, “goodbye, paige.”

leni had no time to ruminate over the conversation and just about managed to wipe her tear stained cheeks before riley appeared in front of her.

“there you are! i got your water. who were you talking to out there?”

“no one. no one at all. let’s go dance.” leni says, plastering the fakest of smiles on her face. she didn’t worry that riley would notice because riley rarely noticed anything.

leni spent the rest of the night knocking back drinks and willing herself to stop glancing at paige but it was near impossible. the six foot, one hundred and sixty pound girl was alluring to say the least and with her also staring back, leni was beginning to lose composure.

“kiss me.” leni asserts, grabbing on to rileys shirt collar, pulling her down. riley looks confused but she would never deny kissing her beautiful girlfriend so she presses their lips together, leni deepens the kiss, her tongue slipping into rileys mouth but it’s not right. it doesn’t feel right. it’s not paige. and that makes leni feel sick. she’ll never kiss paige again and she’ll search for her in every girl but it’ll be pointless because no one could compare. no one could even come close.

now breathless from a phoney, drunken make out session that left nothing but the sour taste of beer in her mouth, leni pulls away from riley but her eyes immediately go to where paige was stood just minutes ago. but the athlete is gone. the only sign of her once being there was her girlfriend, now left holding two drinks. “i’m going to the bathroom.” leni mumbles and she slips away from riley, leaving her too, with a drink in each hand.

the multiple drinks leni had consumed in quick succession were catching up to her and her body swayed as she walked around the frat house looking for paige. she swung open random doors, bursting in on one too many explicit activities that she wish she never saw. “sorry, my bad.” she muttered quickly closing another door. she continued her search and by the time she reached the end of the hall, with no sign of paige, she actually needed to pee.

the bathroom was occupied but leni couldn’t wait, she knocked on the door over and over, “if you’re in there fucking, get out! i’m about to piss my pants!” she shouted over the music and she heard the lock click before the door slowly opened, “you never were very patient.” paige emerged from the bathroom and leni felt like this was fate. “i was looking for you.” she slurred, glancing up at paige. “you were?” leni nods, her eyes are glassy from intoxication, “i hate you for hurting me.” leni mutters but her actions do not resemble hate, they are needy and frantic as she pushes paige backwards into the bathroom, knocking the door closed with her foot.

“you hate me?” paige asks, hearing those words hurt but feeling lenis touch on her chest as she shoved her against the wall overrode any of that. “uh huh.” leni nods again, her hand now travelling down paiges chest and gripping her waist. “how much do you hate me?” paige tucks a piece of lenis hair behind her ear and leni leans into the touch, “so fucking much.” lenis breathing is ragged now as she pushes herself against paige, the craving she had for this woman was carnal and she doesn’t know how she managed to stay away from her for an entire year.

“you know im sorry. im different now len. hurting you is my biggest regret.” paige caresses lenis cheek, rubbing her thumb in small circles, she missed the feeling of her soft skin under her fingertips, “and this might just be mine.” leni says as she stands on her tiptoes to reach paige, crashing their lips together for the first time in over three hundred and sixty five days.

the kiss is sloppy and heated and influenced by the copious amounts of alcohol both girls had in their systems. paiges hands found lenis waist and she moaned into her mouth as her fingers explored every dip and curve on her body. leni felt like she was drowning and paige was air, she needed as much as she could get, nipping at paiges bottom lip before slipping her tongue into her mouth, saliva mixing to create the concoction that both girls missed so much.

“leni, are you in there?” there was a knock at the door and the voice of riley made leni jump away from paige, “it’s riley.” she whispered, eyes wide, “just be quiet.” paige whispered back. “leni?” rileys voice called out again and leni was violently brought back down to earth.

what the hell was she doing? in a frat house bathroom with her ex friend with benefits, kissing her when she had a girlfriend. when they both had girlfriends. this wasn’t leni. it wasn’t who she was and she wouldn’t hurt someone. she wouldn’t allow herself to.

“no. this was a mistake. we’re drunk.” leni fixed her appearance in the mirror, smoothing down her tossled curls that paige had messed up, wiping the smudged lip liner from her cupids bow and re-adjusting her shirt that had been pulled down exposing the lace of her bra.

paige watched her silently, blue eyes several shades darker as they glared into the mirror at lenis reflection. leni caught her gaze and for a split second she considered listening to paige and staying silent but riley called out her name again, “im coming!” leni responded and without so much as a glance at paige she unlocked the bathroom door and closed it tight behind her. leaving paige alone and confused, wondering what the fuck just happened.

thank you for reading baddies!! let me know if you want to be added to my tag list for future updates. ILY 💋💋

tag list: @heart4caitlin @jadasogay @avvwritesstufff @bueckersp

story info

[lyjen]

Behind Closed Doors | Eddie Diaz

Summary: Two years ago, (Y/n) managed to escape her abusive, bad, drug business ex-boyfriend by snitching him. But now, after all she’s been through, he found her. He’s back and filled with rage. He decides to shoot his shot when (Y/n) is babysitting Chris as Eddie’s at work.

Request: @megafandomsxassemble

9-1-1 Masterlist

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

(Y/n) smiled at the sight of Chris fastening towards the shelter where the jaguar lives in the Los Angeles zoo. Eddie’s fingers were intertwined with (Y/n)’s as they walked through the zoo, Eddie pressed his lips against the side of (Y/n)’s head. “It’s nice, seeing Chris happy” (Y/n) said as she glanced over at Eddie, who had his eyes locked on Chris.

“I haven’t seen him this happy in a while.” Eddie said without letting Chris out of his sight. “What about you? You’re happy to be back at work?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but ask.

Since Metro dispatch had been caught fire, Eddie finally got the chance to put on the turnout gear again, and he finally got back to the 118, he seemed happier. But it still would be nice to hear it from himself. “I’m not made for sitting behind a desk, making tweets and calling with journalists. The one eighteen is where I belong.” Eddie started as he now finally glanced back at her.

“I have a job that I love, a kid that I love, and an amazing girlfriend who I also love. So to answer your question: yes. I’m happy.” he continued as he ended his words with a smile he sent her.

They slowly walked closer to Chris, as the sound of a vibrating phone mixed with a ringtone started to fill her eardrums. She let her free hand open her bag, and fish out her phone while Eddie waited for her to decide if she wanted to answer or not.

“It’s Buck” she said as she looked over at Eddie, “Do you mind if I-?” she added as she motioned her head towards the phone. He shook his head, “No, sure.. go ahead. I’ll go and keep Chris some company.” Eddie said as the grip of his hand got looser, and their hands disconnected.

Not even a few seconds later Eddie was going towards Chris, and (Y/n)’s thumb clicked the green button to accept the call. She held her phone against her ear as she greeted her brother.

“Hey sis, I feel like this is a bad time to call, is it?” Buck sounded through the phone, she laughed at his sudden reaction. “No it isn’t, but it’s nice you’re still trying to use your twin abilities. Even though it never worked.” she answered her twin brother through the phone.

The Buckley family didn’t really count on two babies after they tried to save Daniel. But when the doctor checked, they found baby A and B. Another chance to save Daniel, that’s what they thought. But even though Buck was a match to his older brother, the bone marrow cells failed to graft causing a relapse of symptoms one year after the two were born.

“I was just calling to check on you, what are you up to today?” He asked, it was sweet of him to keep on checking on his sister every now and then. Even though they saw each other almost everyday. “Um, Eddie and I took Chris to the zoo. Ever since they’ve renovated it and fixed everything after the black out, he has been begging us to go.” she explained as she slowly scanned the environment she was in and paced back and forth.

“Can’t say no to the boy, can you?” Buck chuckled through the phone, making her laugh again. He knew his twin too well. “Yeah, it’s the puppy eyes he makes that wins me over. I don’t know about Eddie, I think he can handle it better than me.” she explained, as she looked at her feet and back into the scene she was in.

“You okay though? I mean it has been a while since you’ve been with someone since..” Buck stopped finishing his sentence. “You know who..” he added, he wasn’t going to say the name of her ex-boyfriend, it was like his name was cursed. It made her stop pacing around, and close her eyes for a second.

Blake.

That was the name he didn’t want to say or use.

Blake seemed like a good guy, and he was… at least until he had (Y/n) wrapped around his finger. No one knew what happened behind closed doors until (Y/n) managed to get out, and told the truth.

*

Arlington, Texas, US

“I’m sorry we barged into your house like that.” A male voice filled the interrogation room she was in, as he placed a cup of water in front of her. (Y/n) just looked at the man who was standing across from her, while she was sitting in a chair made of metal. Her hair was messy, she was wearing her oversized flannel, she basically looked like shit.

When the silence in the room became louder than the two persons, the man decided to break it, continuing his story. “We’re trying to locate your boyfriend, Blake Dyer.” he continued his last sentence.

Only hearing his name sent a shiver down her spine and her blood ran cold. Of course they were looking for him. Her mind screamed: red flags, red flags when she ever laid eyes on him. But something about him made her heart beat faster. Can you even call that a boyfriend? A guy that abuses you and hits you for every small thing you do wrong?

She swallowed as she looked down to her hands, pushing the fabric of the flannel sleeve over her fingers, hiding her skin, her anxiousness, her being scared for what was going to happen if he would’ve found out if she started talking to cops. What if Blake found out she was here instead of at home? He’d hurt her, not only with words.

She wanted to leave, but part of her desperately wanted to call out for help.

“(Y/n), do you have any idea where we can find him? Did he say anything? Talk to someone? Every little detail could help us.” The man leaned his back against the wall, as he tried to get something out of her.

“I don’t know” she whispered, barely audible. Her eyes were locked on her hands as she fidgeted the flannel fabric between her hands and fingers, everything to avoid eye contact with the man that was across from her. Making the man sigh, she wasn’t saying much, but at least he got something out of her.

“He’s hurting you, isn’t he?” he asked her, and that was the moment she locked eyes with the man immediately. She shook her head as if her life depended on it. Slowly, he stepped closer, “The bruises on your arms and the wound on the side of your head are telling me a different story.” he said, looking into her eyes. The fast reaction to his question, and the fear in her eyes spoke volumes.

She wanted to nod, so badly to the question he asked before, tell him everything she knew about him. But, what if they couldn’t find him and he found her instead?

“We can help you, (Y/n). Get you out of the city, state, anywhere, somewhere safe.” he said, as he couldn’t step any further forward because of the table. She didn’t know where to look, but when he told her that, she was intrigued.

This was it, this was her ticket out of the shit hole she had been in for months, unable to escape. Blake had been telling her she couldn’t leave, despite that, she had tried. Multiple times, but somehow every attempt, he found her. At some point he even broke her arm, and completely knocked her out.

“But we can only do that, if you help us.” he added as he moved past the table and crouched down to be on the same height as her. He could see she was thinking, weighing the pro’s and con’s, the thousand scenarios in her head.

“I can give you some time to think about it.” he offered, but when he said that she shook her head like she was trying to give herself a concussion. “No-” she said a bit too loud, as she cleared her throat. “I’ll help, but you have to promise me that he can never find me.” she answered.

The man pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to tell her without any words that she was doing the right thing. “You help us, and we’ll help you. I promise.” the man held out a hand. For a second she hesitated, but she pushed her arm through the sleeve from the flannel, and gave the man a hand.

He gave her a small nod, “So what can you tell us about Blake Dyer?”

She told them everything.

*

It wasn’t until a loud sigh left her mouth, when she remembered that name. “I’m.. okay” she told Buck through the phone. She had been going to therapy a lot since she fled from Texas and came to California. The police had helped her get out of Arlington, and out of Texas. This whole entire story about Blake ended about two years ago.

And that’s how she ended up in Los Angeles, luckily she didn’t end up living on the couch at her brother’s place. But a small home she rents with help from the Texas police.

“Are you sure?” Buck’s voice sounded concerned as he heard her voice through the phone. She was happy her brother was checking on her and her feelings, something they both had missed when she was with her ex in Texas.

“Yes.. Buck, it’s not like you have to check up on me every time you drop that name. He’s in the past, I’m not in Texas anymore.” She told him she was okay and she didn’t lie, but that weird tingly feeling inside of her stomach every now and then when someone dropped that name, wouldn’t go away.

“Okay, okay.. excuse me for being actually concerned about my sister.” Buck reacted at her words. “But tell me, things between you and Eddie..?” he continued, he wanted to make sure she wouldn’t over step her own boundaries, not that he didn’t trust Eddie, but she was wounded, hurt. And she took the time to heal, but it was scary for her to just step back into something new, when she didn’t really know what true love was. How do you know if you can truly trust someone? How do you know if he’s the one, when someone before him completely broke you mentally and physically?

“We are fine, we talked together, and both agreed we are going to take things my speed.” she said softly, as she nodded to herself that she was doing good. “Baby steps” she added to the sentence. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Chris and Eddie being together, looking at the information sign of the animal.

“Oh he better, because I swear if he pushes you, making you go over boundaries, I’ll beat his ass, maybe even kill him.” She laughed at her brother’s words, he was determined to keep his sister safe now. He missed the signs back then, and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her now that they had found each other again. Her eyes were now focussed on her feet as she turned on her heels, continuing pacing through the small part of the zoo she was.

Her eyes wandered from her feet, up to the connected paths of the zoo. But instantly, her stomach turned at the sight of one of the ten maybe hundreds of people walking through the zoo. It was like when you suddenly hear your name being called by a teacher to speak in front of the class, when you’re incredibly shy.

Know that feeling? That’s exactly the one she had at this point.

Maybe she was starting to hallucinate after he was brought up again, and this was all playing in her head. A guy, who looked just like Blake, walked by. Maybe it was Blake? No, it couldn’t be. Maybe some kind of döppleganger? Blake couldn’t be here, he was in prison for at least seven years with all the evidence they found back then.

Only two years had passed. This wasn’t possible. This had to be a look alike.

The questions were instantly running through her mind as her brother kept on talking to her on the phone.

The shock of seeing some döppleganger, made her instantly look in another direction. But when all of those questions were running through her mind, and she tried to answer part of them, being sure that it wasn’t him, she looked back to double check.

But he wasn’t there. He was gone. Was she imagining things?

Panic was starting to creep into her chest and mind, as she looked around to see if she could find the guy again.

“You should see Chris-” Buck was telling his sister about how Chris is starting to become a real architect because of one of the projects he needed to make for school. But (Y/n) wasn’t listening anymore. “Hey Buck, I’ll call you back okay?” she said, and lowered the phone in her hand. “What? oh yeah, sure-” His voice was audible as the phone made its way down. Before Buck could end his sentence, he got hung up.

She shoved her phone back into her purse not even a second after she ended the call as she fastened her steps towards Eddie who was still with Chris.

“Eddie?” The sound of (Y/n)’s voice sounded through his eardrums. Eddie could tell only by hearing her voice that something was up, her breathing was fastened. He glanced at her as he looked to his side, she seemed upset.

Eddie turned himself towards her, fully facing her now as he had his right hand on the shoulder of his son.

“Hey, is something wrong? Who called-” A worried look was spread over Eddie’s face as he looked at the girl, trying to keep her cool, but it almost looked like she could have a panic attack any moment now. “Can I borrow you for a second?” she asked, as loud as a whisper.

She didn’t want to start spilling her guts when Chris was next to them, trying to enjoy the zoo animals in the area. Eddie nodded, “Sure.. just one second.” he said as he held up his index finger. He turned to Chris who was still fascinated by the animal on the other side. “Hey bud, we’ll be right there if you need us. Stay here for me, okay?” he said as he leaned his head next to Chris’.

“Okay” Chris simply said as his eyes were focussed on the animal, practically drowning in the sight or maybe drowning in fascination. Eddie gave his son a small pat on his shoulder as they took a few steps back, not too far away from Chris, but far enough so he wouldn’t hear the conversation.

She stopped as she placed her face in the palm of her hands and sighed. Eddie stopped in front of her, as he waited for her to start the conversation she wanted to have so badly. After a few counts she disconnected her hands from her face. “Maybe I’m hallucinating, or maybe I am not and.. ” she gasped as she avoided eye contact with him.

“And you’re probably going to say I sound insane.” she rattled as her mouth was moving faster than her mind. “I’ll decide for myself if you sound insane. Now, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, as he grabbed one of her hands and rubbed his thumb on the inside of her hand, trying to calm her down.

“I was on the phone with Buck, he was checking in on me like almost every other day. But then, his name popped up again. And I… thought I saw him.” she didn’t rattle this time, it was still a little bit faster than a usual sentence, but the touch of Eddie helped her calm her nerves a bit.

His eyebrows furrowed at her words, “Who?” She kept referring to “him”, Eddie knew all about her story from the beginning to the end and all the details in between. “Blake” she whispered, as she suddenly looked around like somebody was going to shoot her at any second now. “What? I thought he was in jail? And in another state, right?” He said.

“But I swear I saw him standing right there.” (t/n) said and pointed at the exact same location she saw him earlier. Eddie’s eyes follow her finger as he scans the entire scene they were in, it was like he was hunting for monsters in Chris’ room when he was younger. “(Y/n)..” her name fell off his lips, as he looked back at her, his thumb still tracing over the palm of her hand.

“You think I'm insane don’t you?” She concluded before he could say anything else, as she pulled her hand from his touch.

“No, no, no that isn’t what I’m saying.” Eddie Saïd as soon as she turned her back to him and placed her hand on her forehead. “I just-..” Eddie continued, stumbling. How was he going to say this? He needed her to get out of her own head.

She turned back around, facing her boyfriend again. “Listen, he’s behind bars for at least seven years, that’s what the officer told you back then. Only two years have passed now, and besides that, he’s not going to be able to find you. They covered your tracks back there and they knew what they were doing.” He told her as she was still a bit overwhelmed and stressed.

She wasn't focussed on anything he told her, at least that's what it looked like. But she was listening. Eddie’s hands reached out for her shoulders, as he placed both his hands on it.

“You’re still processing your trauma, and you will be maybe for your entire life. Hallucinations are part of that too. Believe me, I still have them too from the army and it sucks.” Her eyes were locked onto his as his words entered her ears. One of the hands that was on her shoulders, moved from her shoulder to her own hand.

He gently grabbed her hand, “But I’m here with you. I’m real.” He said, and placed her hand onto his own chest, as one last attempt to calm her down.

It's quiet for a moment as (Y/n) didn’t know what to do. “Eddie.. I-” she stumbled as Eddie stopped her mid sentence. “Just focus on my heartbeat okay?” He said as she nodded.

It looked weird for every single person passing by, but yet it did something calming to her. Her breathing became slowly normal, and the panic that was rushing through her veins left her body. “Good?” Eddie softly asked as he noticed her body became less and less tense.

She let out one last loud sigh, with her eyes closed as the sound of Eddie’s voice entered her ears, “You’re safe.”

______

(Y/n) pressed the freshly washed shirt to her chest as she folded it and placed the t-shirt in the laundry basket. The tv was playing in the background as she continued folding the other pieces of just washed and dried laundry, that was on one big pile lying next to her on the couch.

She glanced at the clock in the living room. It was getting late, Eddie was on shift since early in the morning, and wasn’t coming home until the next morning: he was on a twenty four hour shift.

While Eddie was on shift, (Y/n) agreed to stay over at Eddie’s place to look after Chris. (Y/n) didn’t mind, it gave her the time and place to get to know his son when he wasn’t around. Sometimes Chris and (Y/n) would play video games together, and other times they would have a movie night.

But that wasn’t the case right now, Chris was upstairs doing his homework as (Y/n) was doing some chores. It made her feel useful, she didn’t just want to sit her ass down and scroll through her phone or watch trash television.

(Y/n) fished a navy blue t-shirt from the pile, as she tried to undo the shirt from the ball form. But the second she wanted to fold the t-shirt, a loud sound sounded from what she guessed was the kitchen. She was startled by the sudden sound and she was standing upright, old habits.

She had spent years being wary of every little sound from outside. That’s why she had cameras installed outside her home, and a 360 camera inside her home. Just to give her a feeling of security.

She scanned the entire scene she was in, and her eyebrows furrowed as another sound was coming from the exact same location. It couldn’t be Chris, right? If he came down stairs she should’ve noticed it. Cautiously she made her way towards the staircase, with every step she took, she scanned the environment, so she could see any changes if there were any.

When she reached the start of the stairs, she cleared her throat, “Chris you’re doing okay?” she asked not too loudly, she needed to know if he was upstairs or not. Her soft voice sounded through the house.

“I just started with math homework” Chris answered her question. She felt the anxiety rising on the inside of her body, Chris wasn’t the one she was hearing. It was something else. It made her stumble over her words as she tried to stay calm towards Chris. “Oh okay, If you need any help, just ask.” She told him as she felt her hands starting to sweat. “I will, thank you.”

She let out a deep breath as she made her way towards the kitchen, trying to find the source of the sound. (Y/n) stopped at one of the walls that were connected to the kitchen, placing her shoulder against the wall as she peeked along the wall, into the kitchen.

All of the curtains were closed in the kitchen, and the doors and windows were closed and locked. But her eye fell on the shadow that was visible on the backdoor of Eddie’s house. The curtain was right in front of it, but it looked like someone was trying to break into the house. Someone was trying to pick the lock.

(Y/n) fished her phone from her pocket, as she started searching for the app to see the live feed of the camera in the backyard Eddie had installed. He might not have been a fan of camera’s, and smart equipment, but it was important for him that his girlfriend felt safe in his house. And if that meant that Eddie had to install one or two camera’s around the house, he’d push his own feelings aside and did that for her.

She selected the app and waited for it to get the feed. The sound of someone trying to pick the lock was still continuing as she opened the live feed of the camera. At first, she couldn’t see anything since the person was wearing a black hood. But then the person turned around and for one quick second.

(Y/n) paused the infra red camera and quickly started to investigate the person that was in the backyard. She zoomed in, but her heart dropped as soon as she saw the tattoo’s on the guy’s hand. The hand was covered in some weird wave tattoo, and the other hand were a compilation of multiple smaller tattoos.

Blake. He had found her, and was here to get his revenge.

Her hand immediately was placed on her mouth as she tried so hard not to make any sound. She had to get to Chris, and get him to hide. She had to call for help. She didn’t even think, and sprinted towards the staircase she was just a minute ago. She had to multitask at this point.

Just as she stepped onto the first step of the stairs, she tapped Eddie’s contact and placed the phone against her ear. She rushed up the stairs as she impatiently waited for Eddie to pick up his phone. But she gets send to voicemail. “Hey this is Eddie-” a grunt left her mouth as she clicked the red button to stop the call. “Fuck” she muttered under her breath.

He must be on a call, that’s why he wasn’t answering her.

She looked to her left as she saw Chris, his bedroom light shining into the hallway. Soundless as possible she tried to make her way to his room. She stepped into his room and closed the door behind her. Making Chris look confused at her as he dropped his pencil. “Chris, I need you to do something for me.” she said as softly as she could.

“What is it?” he asked her as he watched her move through his room looking for a good place to hide. “I need you to hide with me.” she said, as she opened the folding doors in his room, opening his closet where his clothes hung.

“What?” Chris asked then, looking like she had gone insane. “Listen, I don’t have much time to explain. But someone is breaking into the house.” (Y/n) explained as she came closer to him and lowered herself to his height. “I know it sounds scary, but I’ll be with you the entire time.” she continued.

Chris nodded, “Okay” he said as he stood up from the chair and (Y/n) assisted him to get into the closet. Chris sat down in the corner of the closet as (Y/n) quickly, but soundless tried to turn off the lights. Like a jumpscare, her heart dropped when she heard the door downstairs click open.

When she managed to turn off the lights, she unlocked her phone that was still in her hand, and she tapped on Buck’s contact. Pressing the phone against her ear as she took place next to Chris, and closed the folding doors.

“Come on.. Pick up.” she mumbled as she grabbed a dark blanket out of one of the bags that were on the ground next to (Y/n) and placed it one handedly over Chris.

Eddie grabbed his phone from his pocket, as he let his turnout coat slide off his shoulders. and placed it back on the rack where he just had placed his helmet in too. “That fire was a beast” Eddie said as Buck finally made his way to the rack too and placed his helmet on it. “Another reminder why you should not infact store fireworks in your garage.” Buck laughed as a ringtone filled their ears.

Making Eddie check his phone, to see if anyone was trying to contact him. “Oh- (Y/n) tried to call me a few minutes ago.” he said as he waited for Buck to get his phone.

Buck immediately fished his phone out of his pocket as he felt the vibration in his right pocket where his phone was. He held his phone in his hand as he looked at the name who was trying to reach him. “Speaking of the devil” Buck laughed as he accepted the call and placed his phone to his ear.

“Buck. He found me. He’s here.” she blurted out in a whisper as softly as possible, hoping that the tv downstairs would compensate for the soft voice that came from the closet.

���Wow, wow, wow, slow down. What’s happening?” Buck asked as he tried to focus on his sister’s soft voice through the phone. The sobs through the words weren’t helping either. But the sound of her voice, and the cries, gave him a bad feeling the second he placed his phone to his ear.

“Blake is in the house. I’ve got Chris. Please. Get here now. I don't-” she sobbed as she placed her own hand in front of her mouth, trying to suppress the sound of her sobs.

The name he hoped to never hear ever again, fell off her lips, and that’s when he realized. He had found her. The back of Buck’s hand immediately flew against Eddie’s chest as he just looked confused. “Blake is in the house?” Buck repeated his name as he wanted some kind of confirmation. But he could only hear her muffled, quiet sobs and cries.

Buck’s mind was running a thousand miles an hour as he thought of all the kinds of scenarios that were going down right now. “Okay, (Y/n) I need you to hide and stay on the line until we get there okay?” He said, looking at Eddie as he nodded.

Eddie had a fire burning in his eyes as soon as he heard the name Blake and his location. She had been right about one week ago when they were in the Los Angeles zoo and she almost had a panic attack. Her abusive ex-boyfriend was back, and from what Eddie knew, about her telling the truth to the cops. He was sure Blake was back to get revenge.

His hands balled into fists as he squeezed them so tight together, his nails actually almost punctured through the skin on the inside of his hands as he made a sprint down the lower level of the station. He immediately aimed for Bobby, “Bobby I need to borrow the BC.” he said while thunder was projected onto his face.

Bobby was just looking at his phone, checking for any messages as Eddie stood right in front of him and dropped those words. And Eddie wasn’t asking. “Eddie what’s going on?” Bobby asked him as a frown appeared on his face. What ever just happened in those one or two minutes of time that he didn’t see the much younger firefighter, he went from neutral, to all worked up.

“Family emergency” he just answered, not getting into the details too much. Because even Eddie didn’t know what he was going to do if he’d get the chance to get his hands on Blake. But there was this fire burning on the inside of him, why was Blake back? Why couldn’t he just move on? Hell, why was he even out in the first place?

When Buck came rushing towards the two, Bobby could see the panic in his eyes. The kind he had never seen before. Sure he had seen Buck scared before, but this was different. Bobby switched looks between Buck and Eddie, “fine take the BC” he said, and not even a second after he finished his answer, they were already running towards the car.

“(Y/n) Hold on okay! We’re on our way!” Buck’s voice sounded through the phone as she pressed the phone closer to her ear, she pressed her lips tighter on each other as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she felt her heart trying to jump free from her chest.

She had to calm herself down, she didn’t want him to give away their hiding spot. And she certainly didn’t want to be the reason he found them, if something were to happen to Chris, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to forgive herself. A warm hand was connected to hers as she closed her eyes for a second and looked down to her lap, trying to focus on her breathing.

(Y/n) glanced to her side, it was too dark to see, but she was sure Chris his hand was placed on hers, he was trying to help her. She couldn’t help but smile weakly through her tears, her phone was still connected to her ear and she heard Eddie was calling 9-1-1 while Buck was still on the phone with her. He knew she couldn’t talk back, but every now and then he told her their location, or to hold on, anything to soothe her.

She muted the audio from Buck and Eddie and placed the phone onto the floor in between Chris and herself. (Y/n) let her hand slide through Chris’ hair and pressed a kiss onto the top of his head, trying to soothe him and herself. She didn’t dare to say anything.

It was too quiet on the first floor they were on. But the second she thought that, she could hear the door of Eddie’s room next door open harshly, making the doorknob bouncing into the door. Followed by something made of glass falling down to the ground. She guessed that were the photo’s Eddie had in his room.

Every frame that fell into pieces made her flinch at the sound. The photo’s probably made him even more angrier. He had been in prison for the last two years, while she was just continuïng with her life, trying to rebuild it. While he had been suffering.

“(Y/n)!” Blake’s voice called out, “I know you’re here!” he added, he sounded aggressive as his words were being followed by another shatter of glass and a loud bang. The way her name left his mouth made a shiver roll down her spine, and made her even more terrified. She hadn’t heard his voice for months, years, but him screaming, made it even more real.

Secretly, she hoped this all was a terrible nightmare and she’d wake up any second by now. But no matter how hard she tried, the dream, or nightmare wouldn’t end. “You really think you can hide from me?” he laughed as (Y/n) heard the door open even more closer to them. He had opened Chris’ door. He was in his room.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” he continued calling out as (y/n) could hear the heavy footsteps walking over the creaking wood. Her hand was pressed over her mouth as she soundless helped chris underneath the blanket. Tears were blurring her vision, as she heard the footsteps coming closer and closer.

Just when the footsteps seemed to leave the side of the closet they were in, she inaudibly let out her breath she was holding. She looked at the small ball Chris was, almost morphing into the wall. He was doing so good, he was such a brave kid.

But she felt her heart drop as soon as she felt a grip around her ankle, and before she knew what was going on, she got dragged from the closet. A high pitched yelp left her mouth as she got dragged through Chris' room. “Missed me? Bitch.” he groaned as he kept on pulling her leg. (Y/n) tried to kick her free foot against his body to let her ankle go.

They left the room and the second she saw where he was heading, she grabbed the first wooden baluster from the staircase to stop him from pulling her down the stairs. She held on like this was her lifeline, as she felt her body almost split into two as Blake kept on pulling on her leg.

She screamed as she used all of her strength to keep a hold on the wooden baluster. But then, Blake dropped her body by letting go of her ankle.

The second he did this, she tried to get up. With emphasis on tried, because the moment she got onto her knees, a fist full of hair was being grabbed. The tears welled up spontaneously in her eyes as she felt the pain on her head. “Look at you now with your oh so perfect little life.” He said, as he slowly came closer to her face.

He glanced at the photos that were hanging on the walls of the small hallway. “I see you got yourself a new boyfriend, but I got some news for you.” he laughed as he yanked her hair down even more down, so had to look at the pictures on the wall and was facing Blake at the same time.

(Y/n)’s eyes watched Blake’s hand reach down to his pocket. Further than that, she couldn’t see since he was forcing her to look at his face. But a fast high pitched sound filled her ears. The sound of something metal.

“You’re leaving him.” he continued his sentence as he admired the object in his hand for a moment, keeping it out of her line of sight just a little bit longer. Tears were streaming down her face, mixed emotions, the feeling of her hair being pulled from her skull, the fact that she was facing her ex that she had betrayed by snitching him to the cops.

She was gasping for a breath as she tried to keep her emotions under control. She could smell his awful breath, as his face came close enough. He hushed her cries, “Ssh, it’s okay. I don’t want to end this right away. I just want to enjoy this moment a little bit more.” he said with a smile and a laugh. Blake placed the sharp metal he just fished from his pocket underneath her eye.

It was a knife.

Blake used the blade of the knife to wipe away one of her tears that were tracing down her cheeks. Making her heartbeat in her chest even more. “You took everything from me.” he started as he investigated the tear on his blade, mixed with some small hairs from her skin you’d be barely able to see with the naked eye.

“And now.. It’s time you pay it back.” he added as he scanned her entire body once more. “Only better..” Blake ended his words with a whisper and folded the knife again and placed into his pocket. He wanted to let her suffer even more than she already had now and he wasn’t just going to kill her off right here and now. Not when the party was just getting started.

Her lips were pressed into a thin line as she looked at Blake full with anger. She didn’t answer his words. But she couldn’t help but spit into his face, she had to get out of his grip. The hairs were starting to hurt even more and more. The spit splashed onto his face, and without saying anything, he forced her onto her legs, and yanked her head into one of the photo frames that were hanging on the wall.

His hands were still tangled into her hair as he banged her another time into a second photoframe. Blood was now dripping from her nose as the second time her nose touched the glass first instead of her forehead. “You thought you could run from me hm? You dirty snitch.” he groaned, as he grabbed her chin and cheeks with his free hand. Squeezing it like she was a little baby.

The blood from her nose was making its way down to her lips. She could taste the iron as she felt her entire world spinning in front of her eyes. He roughly pulled her on her hair once more and gave her a hard push, making her lose her balance.

(Y/n) tried to get a grip of the balustrade of the staircase, to stop herself from falling down. But she couldn’t. It felt like she was free falling for a second, but then, her back connected with the wooden stairs harshly. The moment she felt herself falling down the stairs, all she could think of, was protecting her face.

She held her lower arms in front of her face, trying to keep it from getting hurt even more. Her body harshly fell down every single step of the staircase. She could practically feel the bruises start to form themselves onto her body as gravity finally let go of her body.

Face down to the ground, belly touching the ground, she opened her eyes. It felt like she just got out of a merry-go-around from the playground when she was younger. Her entire world was spinning, and it almost made her vomit. She groaned as she slowly tried to pushed herself into the table pose like yoga.

Her ears were ringing but she could hear slowly, harsh, loud footsteps that were approaching her. Just when she thought she had the energy to stand into the table pose, a heavy foot was placed onto her back, pushing her right back where she was. Almost like she was in the army and the trainer wasn’t having it. Except, this wasn’t the army, this was Blake. The ex boyfriend who wanted her dead.

She gasped as her body fell flat onto the floor again. She just felt him making a small circle around her. But then, the side of her body was hit by a sharp, deep, pain. He kicked his foot into her side like she was a football. Making (Y/n) start coughing, and rolling automatically onto her side. (Y/n) let out an ear deafening scream as she tried to soothe the pain by pressing her hand onto the spot.

Nothing else left her mouth but groans of pain. Blake just let her suffer for a few more seconds as he kicked her once more, this time hitting her entire lower torso. “I hope snitching on me was worth it.” he said as he pushed her weakly, in pain body, so she was now on her back.

It felt like her head could pop off her body within a snap of a finger. Her eyelids were heavy, as she looked through a small gap to keep her eyes open. He stepped over her body, standing over her with one foot on each side of her body.

Blake crouched down above her as he grabbed a fist full of her shirt, pulling her partly up from the ground. When her eyes were met by his face again, she felt a raging fire inside of her, an instinct of survival.

She started to push and kick her way out of the position, she was so close to giving up. But felt like she didn’t do enough. She wanted to badly to poke her fingers into his eyes, but before she even touched his face, he roughly grabbed both her arms and pinned them down to the wooden floor.

She was too weak for this, why was it that she was so afraid to fight back? Everytime she heard his voice, it made her froze into her position wherever she was. She couldn’t say anything, couldn’t move. She just froze.

Blake let go of one of her arms as he moved from her arm to her neck, and squeezed her airway shut with every single piece of energy he had left in his hand. “You put me in jail..” he mumbled as his fist turned red around her neck.

The second hand left her other arm, and assisted in blocking her airway. “I’ll put you in your coffin.” he added. (Y/n)’s hands were trying to get between the skin of her neck and his hands. But he was way too strong.

Dots were dancing around her eyes as she gasped for a single breath. She was kicking her feet in agony and her face was slowly turning red, and going from red towards blue. She could feel herself fading away.

But then, the grip around her throat loosened as she saw through the little space of her eye lids, Buck and Eddie pushing him stomach first down to the ground. She didn’t have a clue what was happening as her senses almost shut down.

She couldn’t hear anything clearly as she was gasping for a breath, and this time it did enter her lungs. (Y/n) coughed at the dry air entering her airway as she rolled onto her side tightening her arms around her stomach. Everything in her body hurted.

(Y/n) was in so much pain, she didn’t even see Athena enter the room as she arrested Blake. The only thing she could hear vaguely was her name falling off Eddie’s lips. She saw his black work shoes and the blue trousers coming closer to her as she just kept on crying out in pain.

Eddie felt her screams and cries go through his marrow and bones. It made shiver roll down his spine as he turned on his heels and looked at his girl, all curled up on the ground.

He didn’t know where to look. Her head was full with little scratches and blood, and her nose looked like it was broken. Those were the visible details he could see as he stood there, frozen.

Everything was happening in slow motion, her cries, Athena escorting Blake out as he noticed Buck running up the stairs.

Something happened inside of Eddie’s brain, making him get out of his own brain he was locked in for a minute, and he placed his knees on the ground, next to (Y/n). “(Y/n)?” Eddie’s words came out of his mouth like he was on the edge of crying. He never wanted this to happen to her. To anyone.

It was a horrible sight to witness. He pressed his lips into a thin line to suppress the emotions he felt as he looked at her.

(Y/n) didn’t want to let go of her stomach, it did give her some kind of pain relief. But the second Eddie kneeled next to her, not knowing what to do with his hand, he grabbed one of her hands as the other one remained on her stomach.

“I-I couldn’t..” she stumbled through her sobs.

Eddie was afraid to even touch her, hell, he was even afraid to move her at this point. It was like the medic inside of Eddie had left his body, he didn’t know what to do.

Maybe this is what Bobby usually meant on scene by: you can’t work on your family. He never felt this before, not even with Shannon when she basically died in his arms.

A small sob left his lips as he placed one hand on (Y/n)’s forehead, “It’s okay..” he whispered, he didn’t mean it to come out like a whisper. But he couldn’t control it. “You did.. so good.” he added, he had to push out the words.

A feeling of guilt spread itself through Eddie’s body as he took in the picture right in front of him, once more. What if he stayed home? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened, or maybe it still did, but then he’d be there to protect the both of them, the people he loved.

He pressed a kiss on the back of her hand, trying to soothe her. “I-I..” she continued to stumble, but when Eddie let his eyes wander from their hands to her face, he could see (Y/n) was fading away.

Her eyes were trying to shut down, like she was falling asleep in front of the tv. “No, no, no. Hey, (Y/n) I know you’re tired.. but you have to stay awake.” he said as he gently tapped her on her cheek to keep her awake. Her eyes just slowly opened again.

He could tell she was having trouble with keeping herself conscious. Quick enough, her eyes were trying to close again, she nodded “I know” she mumbled under her breath. “I’m just..-” she continued mumbling, “tired? I know mi amor.. I know.” Eddie finished her words, the voice of him sounded in the back of her head. But Eddie could feel his heart skip a beat when he saw her head tilt to the side.

“(Y/n)?” Eddie’s voice was filled with terror and fear as he watched his girlfriend’s head tilt to the side, losing consciousness. Her name fell off his lips multiple times as he tried gently to wake her up again. His hands moved to her face, tapping against her skin. But there was no movement.

“Don’t do this to me!” words fell off his lips, more like a yell. He pressed his fingers against her neck to feel her pulse. It was racing like she had run a marathon and dropped to the ground. But that wasn’t the case.

Placed his face next to her mouth, he felt oxygen entering and leaving her mouth. She was still breathing.. for now. The medic inside of Eddie had to come back to think clearly. He needed to help her now that the paramedics weren’t here yet.

He could still hear her voice in his head, complaining about her abdomen. And with that thought in his head, he grabbed the lower part of her t-shirt and lifted it. Eddie’s eyes were locked onto the swollen abdomen mixed with a bloody red spot.

She was bleeding internally.

The shock was written all over his face as he felt a piece on the inside of him break down. “No, no, no..” he mumbled as he pulled the shirt even higher, to examine her even further. Her chest wasn’t as bad as her lower part. But when Eddie pushed her gently to her side, to catch a glimpse of her back, he stopped breathing for a second.

Her back was filled with bruises. “Where is that ambulance for fuck sake!” Eddie’s voice sounded through the hallway as he didn’t even dare to get his eyes off (Y/n).

“Come on (Y/n), don’t do this to me..” he mumbled as he looked at the unconscious face of his girl. “We didn’t have enough time.”

______

Eddie felt uncomfortable walking down the stark hospital hallway. He could hear his own shoes clapping faintly against the white perfect polished floor. He hated hospitals with his entire heart, they were full of memories he’d rather forget. (Y/n) was in the same hospital where Shannon passed away a few years back.

He opened the door to her room, as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Eddie paused for a second, taking in the environment around him, scanning the room. His eyes fell on (Y/n), motionless on the hospital bed. The only thing that was sounding through the room were the machines beeping softly, monitoring her vitals.

She was still alive, even though she barely made it to the hospital in time.

Eddie cleared his throat and took in a deep breath as he stepped closer. She had fought so hard, for herself but even more to keep Chris safe.

Eventually he sat down in the chair by her bed, his fingers gripping the armrests like they were the only things holding him together. He had so many things to say, but yet, no words were leaving his mouth.

He sighed loudly, “Mi amor, it’s me.” he said softly. He wanted to be strong, but the second he started talking his entire voice broke down. “I’m so sorry.” he added, as he placed one hand on his mouth, trying to keep himself from sobbing even more.

“I'm sorry I couldn’t protect you.” he continued his words. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “You have to wake up.” he sobbed as tears were starting to run down his face. “You can't leave, not now. Not like this.”

His mind replayed everything, from the moment he barged into the house together with Buck, tackling Blake. To the moment where he held her hand in the ambulance, almost losing her.

She coded in the ambulance. Her heart stopped, and Eddie couldn’t do anything. He just sat there, crying, on the small bench of the ambulance, looking at someone else to try and get her rhythm back.

The compressions went on and on, it felt like hours. They were still doing compressions on her when they rolled her into the ER, leaving Eddie with so many unanswered questions.

But they got her rhythm back, eventually. The doctors told him that she had an emergency surgery, that she was in critical condition. Leaving a hole inside of him.

Even though every single person in the room told him to go home, get a shower, get something to eat, he refused. He needed to be here when she woke up.

It has been days after the accident, her vitals were good, so the doctors decided to take her off the ventilator. He hasn’t been home in days, while Chris was staying with his abuela switching every now and then with Buck.

Even the nurses couldn’t get Eddie out of the room. The only reason he’d leave the room is to go to the toilet or get some food in the awful hospital cafeteria.

Eddie reached out for her hand, carefully he grabbed her hand, avoiding the IV line that was taped to her wrist. “There’s so much I haven’t said.” He started, “so many things I want to do with you.” He stayed focussed on their hands, desperate to feel some kind of reaction. Even if it was just a small squeeze.

His voice cracked as he shut his eyes tightly. Trying to get rid of the tears. “Chris needs you. Buck needs you. I need you.” his voice choked with emotion as he pressed her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss onto her skin.

“Chris has been asking about you..” “You promised him last week to take him to the cinema, remember? To see that new Marvel movie. You’re not going to break that promise, are you?”

“Because I think Chris would get upset when I go with him, I still don’t understand what happened to Captain America.” he let out a shaky breath as a small laugh left his mouth. The marvel movies was their thing, Chris and (Y/n).

Eddie let go of her hand as he leaned back, running a hand over his face again. The room was too quiet, the beeping of the monitors too loud in his ears.

He let out a shaky breath and stood up, starting to pace through the small room. He wasn’t used to this, standing by, powerless.

The soft creak of the door made Eddie come out of his own mind. He glanced over his shoulder, and that’s when he saw Christopher standing there with Buck on his side. Buck’s hand was placed on Chris’ shoulder as they stood in the doorframe.

"Chris?" Eddie said his name filled with confusion. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be with Buck, at home, gaming or doing his homework. "What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at home." He asked as he switched looks between Buck and Chris.

Chris entered the room with Buck slowly following behind him. “I had to come. I need to see her.” He said, determined as he passed his dad. Eddie followed his son, as he made his way to the bedside of (Y/n).

Eddie’s expression was filled with confusion as he looked at Buck. “I’m sorry. I couldn't stop him.” Buck apologized. As they looked at Chris who was looking at (Y/n), lying unconscious in the bed.

Buck had been here everyday just like Maddie, checking on (Y/n), but also checking on their brother in law.

“Chris, you're not supposed to be in here. There aren’t kids allowed on the ICU.” Eddie told him as he folded his arms over each other.

“I don’t care.” Chris said as he switched looks from his dad to (Y/n). “She’s my friend too, dad. And I need to tell her something” he continued determined as he looked at her lifeless in the hospital bed he was standing next to.

Eddie wanted to argue, but when he saw the look in his son’s eyes made him sigh. He shrugged as he shook his head, he wasn’t going to be able to change his mind either. “Fine, but just for a minute.” He said as he kept his arms crossed.

Chris nodded as he looked at (Y/n) for a second, “(Y/n), it’s me. Christopher.” He said as he placed his hand onto her hand.

It was hard seeing and hearing his own son talking to her, but he used one hand to cover his mouth.

“I know you’re really hurt right now, but… you have to get better. You promised me you’d teach me how to make those brownies you always make. And you don’t break promises.” Chris said, making Eddie pressing his lips together into a thin line. Fighting the tears that were already streaming down his face.

“And.. because you make my dad smile, he doesn’t smile like that for anyone. You make him happy, so you have to come back.” Christopher continued, as slowly his voice grew more quiet by the word.

“You can’t leave.” He ended his words as he gave her hand a slight squeeze. He didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already had.

The room was quiet again when Chris had left the room and Buck took Eddie’s son back home. Eddie sat in the chair next to her bed, his head resting on his hand. As his eyes were heavy, like he could fall asleep any moment.

The constant beeps of the machines that were monitoring (Y/n)’s vitals were sounding through his ears. Eddie hadn’t slept in days, except for some power naps, but you really couldn’t call those a goodnight sleep.

“Chris has been making you drawings, he said he’s going to bring you one tomorrow.” Eddie said as a small smile appeared on his face at the thought. His voice sounded rough, must been the lack of sleep.

Eddie pushed himself forward, brushing his fingers across her hand. “I’m sure he will not stop making new drawings until you wake up. So you better wake up soon or he’ll use them to wallpaper your room.” He added as a small laugh left his mouth.

He stared at the monitors, that was the only response he got. He sighed as he leaned back into the chair again, this was going to be just another day like the past ones.

But then, there was movement.

It was so silent in the room, Eddie could hear the change in ambience. (Y/n)’s fingers twitched against the blanket. The sound of her skin moving over the fabric made him stand up next to her bedside immediately.

“(Y/n)?” He breathed as he wrapped his hand around hers. Her eyelids fluttered open weakly.

“Hey, (Y/n) it’s me.” He whispered with a trembling voice. “I’m right here baby”

Her eyes opened, unfocused, but then her eyes locked on him. Confusion written all over her face, her lips parting slightly as she wanted to talk.

"Hey," he said gently, leaning closer. "You’re safe." He continued as he tried to read her face.

“Chris?” her voice barely above a whisper.

Relief was written over his face, as he couldn’t help to let out a small laugh. Of course, that was the one person she immediately thought of. She kept him safe at all costs. “He’s safe. Blake’s back where he belongs.”

Tears were pouring down his cheeks, but this time it wasn’t sadness. Pure happiness. Relieve. “Jesus, (Y/n), you scared the hell out of me."

She swallowed loudly, “Sorry..” she mumbled.

“No, no, no. Don’t apologize. Just.. don’t ever scare me like that again.” Eddie said as he squeezed her hand.

She groaned at the pain she felt in her entire body, mostly at her stomach. A small ouch, falling off her lips as she touched her stomach. “What-?” she stumbled.

“Internal bleeding, your heart stopped for like three minutes. They had to rush you into an emergency surgery,”Eddie explained.

“You stayed here?” She then asked as she scanned the room and spotted multiple bags in the room. He nodded. “Of course I did.” He said as he brushed a strand of hair from her face and pushed it behind her ear.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me (Y/n)” he told her, with a small smile on his face. She let out a breathy chuckle, barely audible but enough to make Eddie’s heart make a jump of happiness.

“I love you.” The words left her mouth weakly and slow. Eddie couldn’t help but let the smile grow bigger on his face, “Te amo, mi amor.”

[yummymitzy]

Hi! I love your writing! Could you write a part two to Dangerous, right? Maybe it's their first mission or Nat needs a rescue and sees the reader's true form? Can you make it really angsty with a happy ending though?

Dangerous, Right? Part II

Summary: Hydra mission goes wrong on Natasha’s side, but did everything else go wrong?

Pt I

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader , Lucifer Morningstar x Reader (platonic)

WC: 2320

A/N: Sorry if it’s not as angsty as you expected😭😭

ᨖᨖೱᨖ⧗ᨖⴵᨖ🕷️ᨖⴵᨖ⧗ᨖೱᨖᨖ

Tonights mission wasn’t any different from any other mission, infiltrate the base and grab the necessary intel without suspicion. Until it wasn’t easy anymore, she hadn’t suspected that they’d be waiting for her.

It happened all so quickly for Natasha, one minute she was confident she’d make it home before the night falls; then the next minute a group of agents ambush her.

She felt almost embarrassed that she’s got herself in this position, but she’d dwell over that later.

The agents were quick on their feet, never faster than her. Her only negative was that she was out numbered, she didn’t feel any better when more agents swarmed through the door.

Her heart was thrumming in her ears while she clutched her fists tighter, the surrounding agents were sprawled on the floor of the room. Natasha’s adrenaline was so high, she hadn’t felt the blood soaking through the leather encasing her waist.

Once the adrenaline slowed, a sharp pang shot through her side. Reaching her hand down and grazing it against the wound, blood was all she saw on her fingertips. Cursing under her breath, she couldn’t believe how she let this mission turn to shit.

The sound of heavy footsteps outside the door caught Natasha’s attention, it wasn’t one person either. This really should have been the one day she would have taken a day off, Natasha thought.

She wanted to be at home, the compound, watching White Chicks with her friends while her eyes slowly drift towards you, losing focus of the movie. She hadn’t meant to be so forward with you during your first interaction.

It just felt all too fast for Natasha, she’s grown used each and every one of them with every moment that passed by. She never expected she’d had to repeat that process all over again when you and your brother turned up at the door.

Feeling guilty wasn’t a foreign feeling for Natasha, but this emotion felt more overwhelming than usual. Was it because she was on the brink of dying? She wasn’t sure.

She felt guilty for all of the innocent people she’s killed, guilty for the people who she wasn’t able to save. Guilty for how she acted with you. If only. Just if only she had spent her time getting to know you instead of judging.

Unbeknownst to her, FRIDAY was quick to alert the team of her condition. Right as FRIDAY displayed Natasha’s vitals, you were out the room, determined to get to her.

“Y/N!”

A strong voice echoing the hall of which you were rushing to get out of. Time wasn’t on your hands even if you wished that it were.

“Y/N! Take me with!”

The strong voice yelled once more. You had already known it was Lucifer from the start, his stern voice wasn’t one you were able to miss.

“Then catch up. I’m not waiting around.” You said over your shoulder, footsteps never faltering as you rushed down the corridor. The heavy footsteps behind you were all you needed to know.

“Do you think we’re able to make it fast enough with the quinjets?” Lucifer huffed behind you once you stepped foot onto the landing pad of the building.

“Ohh, no. Those things are slow.” You huffed a laugh as your wings extended behind you. Sparing a glance at Lucifer, a look of confusion was painted on his face, accompanied with a hint of exasperation.

“Now hurry up and catch up! If I hear that she’s dead, your grave will be dug next to hers!” You yell over your shoulder, feet lifting off the platform as you drive through the air towards Natasha’s location.

-

Dying really wasn’t the best feeling. It was a feeling Natasha became familiar with, it cane with the job. But this time, it felt different.

The pit in her stomach wasn’t from pain, it was an emotion she couldn’t define. What was it? Was it guilt? Natasha questioned, until the emotions began rushing through her.

She didn’t know what she’d die first from, the guilt or her wound. She felt sorry for how she made you and your brother feel unwelcome, it was a defense mechanism she wasn’t able to shake off.

Neither of you deserved that, it was barely your guys’s first day and the tension she created was unbearable. She was angry, frustrated with herself that she had judged your character. A hint of sadness also resided within Natasha, a foreign feeling to her. She was upset she wasn’t able to establish a great relationship with you, she wanted to be your friend, maybe more.

But that couldn’t happen now, and she was scared. Being afraid was an emotion she crossed paths with too many times to count. She was afraid of dying, afraid of not being able to clean the red off of her ledger, afraid of not being able to start off new with you.

Natasha had came to peace with the idea of dying, but not like this. She wanted to die once her ledger was cleaned, once her life didn’t feel like she was living off of the same schedule everyday.

She didn’t want to die with the guilt of her past weighing on her shoulders, she wanted to be free of that. Letting out a shaky sigh, she slowly seated herself onto the floor ; leaning upright against the wall as her hand tightly clutches her wound in an attempt to ease the bleeding.

Was Natasha close to dying before? Yes. But it never left her this fucking exhausted. She felt as though she was trying to compete against the two supersoliders in a race and still graciously lost.

Her worries eased as the surrounding area around Natasha blurred. Natasha’s head felt lighter and the tension in her body slowly lifted, and the pain from her wound numb enough to leave the throbbing. Natasha wasn’t against death if it was ever this calm, if she doesn’t include how she died.

The moment she shut her eyes, an explosion immediately caught her attention. So maybe she wasn’t going to die peacefully after all, she thought. Her eyes darted around the room, the room seemed untouched, meaning that explosion wasn’t near.

Huffing, her head lulled back, her eyes burning holes into the ceiling above her. Until the explosion reached her ears again, the pain in her side increasing tenfold. The explosion sounded more closer this time.

But before Natasha could dwell on it more, the door to the room she lays in opens. Two silhouettes were all she could make up due to the blinding light behind them. Were they here to kill her off? Might as well.

“It’s a quick in and out, don’t bother wasting time on any other agents.” A familiar voice stated, the owner of the voice stepping closer to her. Was it you? Was it really you? Why had you gone all this way to save her? Especially when she made you feel so unwelcome.

“..Y/N?” She croaked out, her voice wavering from not being used for a good minute. Her vision clearing slightly once the figure that she now knows is you is stood right in front of her.

She hears another body drop once more and she doesn’t need to turn her head knowing it’s an agent. Once her vision clears up, she’s shocked. Natasha wasn’t expected to be greeted with another sight other than your face.

Well it was your face, but different. It seemed more…devilish. Horns protruding out of your hair and curving away from your face, much like a goat. Your irises shone a bright red as your wings fluttered behind you. The only thing she could make out of your features was compassion, and something else she couldn’t define.

“Hey, Nat. We’re going to take you home, okay?” Your voice drops to a softer tone than she’s ever heard, she wishes to hear it more often. The guilt once more pangs against her heart, how could you be so kind to seek her out with how she treated you?

She hummed, that was the only response she could give at the moment. She was shocked, she understood why you were placed in the Avengers now, you really did have potential. She never doubted that for a moment. But that wasn’t her reason.

She was speechless to how you flew all this way without the quinjet all just for her? If she felt guilty then, then she felt even more guilty now. She wasn’t even sure if you really had forgiven her, consoling her in the dead of night.

Black spots started to form in the corner of Natasha’s eyes, vision becoming blurred once more before her eyes shut. The action sent a panic through your body. It was as if somebody had dumped cold ice water on you.

You didn’t waste any time rushing towards Natasha’s limp body. Sending a look towards Lucifer, you bolted towards the nearest window and slammed your side into it, preventing any shards from impaling the already injured woman.

You’ve flown countless of times before, but flying with a limp person in your arms?

The adrenaline kept you on your feet, as you drove through the wind. The gusts of wind kept you in reality, and the city lights looked beautiful from above. Only if the situation at hand wasn’t so drastic, you would have taken Natasha to gaze with you as a way to mend your friendship. relationship?

The flight back to the compound was incredibly fast, you didn’t even wait a minute before rushing towards the medical bay. Stealing a glance down towards the redheaded woman you’re carrying, she looked peaceful. Ever yet more graceful than she already is.

Why hadn’t she alerted any one of her state? Why did you and the rest of the team have to find out from FRIDAY?

Questions were piling in your head at 100 mph, your feelings are conflicting. You felt worried for Natasha, guilty that you hadn’t been there sooner, and another emotion. Was it admiration? Did you like Natasha? Fuck that, you’ll focus on that when she gets better, if she even does.

Once you reached the med bay, Dr.Cho immediately took over. The worry for Natasha was filling your bones, you had just met her but you felt as though the both of you could be so much more.

You shut your eyes, Dr. Cho was quick and efficient and you trusted her skills.

You didn’t know how long your eyes had been shut until Dr. Cho tapped you awake. Her worried gaze was the first thing you saw.

“She’s stable and the wound should heal nice, all that’s left is for her to wake up.” She stated, her words slow as she was trying to find the right words to ease your racing mind.

“Alright. Thanks doc.” Not once have you looked away from Natasha’s sleeping form. She looked gorgeous, even in a hospital bed.

You were true to your words that very night. You forgave her, there wasn’t anything to hold against her even if you thought harder about it. There wasn’t anything about her that you would dislike, her radiating smile, her fiery hair and personality, the kindness and compassion she holds with her teammates.

One twitch from her fingers was all it took for your thoughts to vanish. She was awake.

Seeing her eyes flutter open left you breathless. All the worries disappears when you saw her forest green eyes peer up at you.

“Hey Nat. How are you holding up?” You sat up, watching her in your peripheral while you fixed her a glass of water. Accepting the glass, she was quick to finish it, her eyes peering up at you once more as you placed the glass on a nearby table.

“Feels like I’ve been shot.” Apparently her attempt at joking didn’t fly past you from the glare you sent towards her.

Taking a deep sigh, she looks you dead in the eyes, a genuine glint shining in them.

“I feel like I should really apologize, Y/N. Although you said you forgave me, it doesn’t make up for all of the things I said.”

“Nat-“ “No, let me finish, I need to say this.” Your eyes widened a fraction before staying silent once more. Natasha shouldn’t feel the need to apologize to you when you already forgave her.

“All the things I said, it was unnecessary, not to mention not professional. I couldn’t help but judge, I felt like Fury just let you guys in the team like it was an open audition.” She huffed a laugh before continuing once more.

“You saving me proved that you really are worth being on the team. I never meant to hurt you, I just felt….protective, this team grew to be my family and I felt forced to trust you and Lucifer so quick. I’m really sorry, Y/N, you don’t have to feel bound to empathize with me. I just wanted to let you know of my intentions.”

You were shocked to say the least, the words that spilled from Natasha’s mouth brung tears to your eyes. You fought hard to not let the tears spill as you processed the information.

Neither were you able to find any words to respond to Natasha’s speech. Natasha noticed that, retracting herself from you with insecurity written on her face. She expected you to turn against her and leave her alone in the room.

Next thing Natasha knew was feeling a warmth embrace her, you were hugging her. Carefully raising her hands, she embraced you further, her hold on you becoming tighter as you both shared a moment that will impact your relationship forevermore.

[grapejuicestyless]

What If I Don’t Know?

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: In an alternate universe where the pogues gave up the hunt after their win with El Dorado, Y/n breaks free of the island dream and runs off the college. Only to find that maybe, being away isn’t what she wanted after all.

My boots danced across the thick yellow lines on the deep black pavement. The traffic lights were flickering yellow, reflecting off of the void and rippling across the building puddles by the clogged sewer drains. An intersection at midnight, no dead stop and no definite go. Just the trust that the other cars wouldn’t blow past the warning signs. The trust that metal was made to bend, to rupture to save a life.

I didn’t have a car, I couldn’t afford one, and I never needed one. Everything I ever wanted was always just a few steps away. Laughter used to echo through the halls and cold rings hit the doors repeatedly. You grow used to people that way. Used to the sound of their footsteps, of their breath. You know who’s on the other side of the door always when you memorize the pattern of their movement.

JJ promised me once that we’d make one. We would run our way down to the junkyard and pick out old parts of cars and Frankenstein them together into a piece of shit that would run like a dream.

That was something I missed. The smell of gasoline. Maybe that’s why I stumbled down through the college town, balancing between the thin stripe of black between yellow and twirling in the center where road met road. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. The image of JJ bent under the hood of a truck. The same Ford that sat broken in the front yard for years, the sound of metal twisting and the breathy grunts with each violent twist of the wrench. It would run like new one day, he swore. I never doubted him, and I still don’t. One day, we’ll run down to that junkyard, a graveyard for cars, and we’ll find that missing piece.

Rain dripped from the bridge of my nose, falling on my soaked shoes and flattening out my fuzzy socks. Everything up North was colder. Maybe it was because of how bitter people were. The semi-warm summers and the sweltering months of autumn, only for the two week beach bliss to be swiftly replaced with a harsh winter that didn’t let up until the next summer. Cold nipped at my nose. I felt bitter the longer I was here, which was weird because when I was sixteen, I could have sworn this place was home.

Then again, I had never really been anywhere long enough to know what home really was. Everywhere I went became rushed by the sweet adventure that was chasing riches. Maybe it was the idea of settling down that intrigued me. To be sat in one place for a while and to slow down, to increase my chances of living through my twenties without some pirate knocking on my front door, a gun to my head. But this wasn’t home, this wasn’t settling. This was restlessness mixed with a deep urge to find something like home. An emptiness emotionally that I just couldn’t understand.

Like a dog chasing its own tail, I felt stupid, and I myst have looked drunk dancing among the silence of my college town. I should have been happy, this should have been home. I got out, I got what Kiara always dreamed of, I sought out a higher education, a dream that Pope had thrown away. My record was clean and my future had meaning. I should have been ecstatic to receive this opportunity, after all the grief and death and scandals of my childhood, a stage in my life that was stripped away by all the realities that unraveled with each new treasure found. But, I wasn’t. Even then, sick, dirty, and cold, I wasn’t happier than then now.

I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. In the dormitories, in the bathrooms, in the halls. It’s me, or, a version of that girl. She has my hair, and we share the same eyes, same curve of our lips too. But she’s hollowed out, gutted, and so indescribably not me. Different, not greater, but worse. I think of packing my bags quite often. Going quietly and without a fuss. To swallow my pride and withdraw my debt I would surely acquire if I stay any longer here at some institution I knew I couldn’t afford the moment I sent in my letter.

My roommate would be disappointed, but she’d move on. She doesn’t know me, she understands the concept of me, but she doesn’t know me. She’s nice enough, keeps her room clean, which inspires me to do the same. She brushes her hair regularly, almost obsessively, and is really pretty. We get along fine. We are friends, to a degree, but we are sure to find other roommates and never speak again. Still, I wonder if she would be mad if I left without telling her.

JJ was mad when I told him. He didn’t like the idea of abandonment. Though, I promised I would return in just a few months, and then a week after, and a few months later. It would feel like I am forever home, only with short intermissions where he gets to enjoy all the things that the island could offer with the others to hang off of his arm. He didn’t even indulge in that idea. He thought even an hour apart was too much.

I promised him it wasn’t abandonment, and swore to call him every night. I do. Sometimes I call him in the morning, and I almost always call him in the afternoon. I like to hear his voice. It sounds like home, it makes me feel warm. I forget about the redness of my nose and the tingling numbness in my fingers. He sounds like the waves crashing against the shore and the sound of wet spaghetti hitting the walls during dinners at midnight. He is laughter and the summer sun, the swells that ripple in mid July and the best seashells on the beach.

My knees bend beneath me, kneeling against the wet cement beneath me. I feel the wetness soaking through my jeans. It’s cold. Like it could be snow if it were a degree cooler. I kneel in the middle of the intersection, and I look up at the sky. It’s dark. I check my watch, it’s nearly morning again. The yellow light flickers against my skin, illuminating my face and leaving me in pitch black again. Everyone is sleeping in my college town. All is quiet.

My neck stretches out, upwards and I open my mouth. My tongue touches my chin, and I can taste the dirt in the droplets that swallow down my throat. My eyes are closed, because I have nothing to fear but loneliness itself, and whether my eyes are opened or closed, the feeling will still be there, and the fact will be too. I am alone, in this journey. I have nothing friends to lean on and no campfire to light. Nobody here knows about the existence of Kildare, of the marsh, and the restaurants that line the cut. They wouldn’t care, they don’t care about an environment they are not accustomed to. They only have so much space to consume what they need to know. To drink up their studies, they have no space for empty thoughts of a life they never lived.

I have my old phone in my pocket. The keypad is burned into the screen because it’s all I use it for now. My life revolves around nothing but the stress of failure and the relief of my best friend’s voice at the end of the day to ease my stress. The truth is, I understand the void in my passion now better than I did when it first appeared, the black hole that seemed to swallow up all my excitement for the new beginnings. I understand the bitter feelings I have for my new house, because I refuse to call this place home. Home is not a place you reside, though, familiarity breeds contempt, home is a connection to the people who reside in respect of you, who stand by you. So though the people I surround myself with here are perfectly friendly, they are not my friends, and they will never come close to the feeling of home I feel with them.

“Hello?” His voice is thick with sleep. He has that rasp men get early in the morning, a rich deepness I rarely hear anymore, but something I once bathed in with his arms wrapped around me through the night.

Theres a soft rhythmic ticking that comes with the flickers of light, and the soft patters of rain drenching the pavement create solemn acoustics around me.

“Hey, JJ.” It comes out in one breath. A sigh of relief that he even heard the buzzing of his phone in his usual dead-to-the-world like sleep cycle. My fingers slip on my phone case and I have to catch it, the rustling on my end of the line echoing back through the speaks to me. I can hear the playback of my breathing through a short delay that spans over a vast distance.

“Is everything alright? It’s…three in the morning. I don’t know a lot about time zones but, I think we’re both on the east coast.”

“No, it’s the same time zone, Jay.” My cheeks already hurt with how big my smile was. He just had that effect on me. His goofy, unknowing attitude always managed to make me laugh, especially because deep down I knew he was a lot smarter than he led on to be. When he let that mask slip to reveal his true self, it was always a wonder the ideas that spewed from his lips. He had one of the greatest minds I’d ever known, only to be undermined by the tragedy of his last name.

“Is it a crime to miss my best friend?” My eyes found a home on my wet knees, and my free hand began to play around in the water. Dragging my nail through the small puddle forming around my body.

“At this time? Yes.” He chuckled softly. “Somethings up, what are you speculating? Whats the word? Ovulating? Because I can’t help you with that.” He made himself clear, smiling through his sentences.

“What? No! Why would I call you of all people if I was photo-ovulating?” I corrected myself with a laugh.

“Don’t knock it until you try it. I happen to be irresistible.” JJ defended himself with a teasing tone. Our conversation was light like it always was, even though my homesickness ran deep, and the sadness I felt was heavy, he made it feel like even the rain pouring down around the city I lived in was letting up.

“Lord knows John B’s walls are too thin for me to not have some kind of clue.” I snickered, pushing back the wet strands of hair that had fallen down upon my face.

Rain clung to me in every crevice, drenching me completely until I felt nothing but cold wash over me. It was a shower I didn’t need, one that did not cleanse me but instead poisoned me with the reminder that this was reality, I was miles away from the voice that was soothing my hearts ache momentarily. I would mull over it later.

“Nah, you got off on that shit.”

“Don’t be a pig, I’ll hang up.” I threatened half-heartedly. We both knew I never would. I could never cut the calls first, so the responsibility fell to JJ, who suffered the same inability to let go. Our calls usually stretched for hours, and the voicemails left in my inbox from the few times I would pass out with my cheek pressed firmly against some dusty book in the library took up all remaining storage in my phone. Right along side the folders of photos of us that collected by the thousands.

“So why’d you call?” He asked finally. I had no real answer. I used up all my excuses. Could he check for a sweater I left behind, the very same one I had on, or if he could just catch me up on what the others were up to. As if I didn’t call to hear all their stories daily, hourly if possible. What was I to tell him? What excuse could serve as something plausible without bearing a burden on his wide shoulders.

“You’re my best friend. I love you, I don’t need a reason.”

“You always have a reason.” He argued softly.

“Well, tonight I don’t.” I hummed. He hummed too, and silence filled the line.

The homely yellow flicked was accompanied by the blinding lights that came in pairs, growing brighter and wider with each passing second. Like a deer, I stood quickly, tall in my path but frozen in fear. I couldn’t meet the eyes of the man behind the wheel, recklessly racing across the intersection with no caution. Yellow meant slow, yet in the night, it only called for feet hitting the floor.

Puddles splashed violently, wheels screeching against the wet cement, leaving trails of where wet met soaked. I could see the distance between the wheels, I could lay my chest against the ground and measure it with my wingspan. The car swerved, laying down on the horn until the sound sputtered away into the distance, and nothing but the soft ticking of the lights and the sound of rain smacking the pavement filled the silence of the line again.

“Are you outside?” JJ asked finally. The sound of sheets crinkling and shuffling of legs against the mattress told me the loud alarm had stirred him from his relaxed state. I nodded at first, forgetting he couldn’t see me, and then I cleared my throat.

“I’m standing in an intersection.” I confessed quietly.

“Why?”

To clear my mind, to escape everything that was bothering me. To find peace with the silence, to try and find comfort in a home that wasn’t mine. There were a lot of minor reasons. The smell of gasoline was high on the list. I rationalized a lot of reasons in my head. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. Still, my gut wouldn’t settle.

I had left home to find something good for myself, to do myself the favor I always promised myself I would if I ever had the chance. But now, now that my feet had carried me to a place that was usually bustling with life, life that felt dull compared to even the most calm days on the island, I felt like I could never go back. A chance, a life, a future that I craved, I was throwing away because my feet refused to lift from the ground until I was sure I would only take my next steps home.

“I miss you.”

My answer was clear. It was true. I missed the waves, I missed the concrete roads freshly paved down in figure eight and how they met the old dirt roads of the cut. I missed John B’s chicken coop, though the chickens were long gone. I missed the dying tree carved with his name, and the rusted latch on the chateau’s porch door that left a yellow stain in the crinkles of my palm. But more than anything, I missed being no more than a breath away from JJ Maybank.

“Come pick me up?” I asked with uncertainty. Not because I even doubted for a moment that JJ wouldn’t come running to me if I even for a moment doubted where I stood, but because the morning was still young and tropical paradise was far away from the whistling winds of the North. Ferries only ran during certain hours, and money was hard to come by, even when we scrape together our pennies. Thats what happens when you drink up your success, you’re left with the repercussions. So, even if he did catch the boat, where would he get a ride from? How much more would it cost to bring the Twinkie alongside hime and ride it all the way to the hills where the colleges welcome signs were illuminated by colored lights, shining in school colors and pride.

He let out a stifled breath. He was choking on emotion I couldn’t read over the phone.

“I’ll be there, yeah.” He promised.

“Okay…I’ll go pack.” I said, suddenly and awkwardly. Yes, I dreamed of this day, kissing everything goodbye and running back to my roots, but now it was real. I could hear JJ slipping on his boots already. Why waste this chance?

“Pack?” He questioned.

“I’m leaving for good, Jay. I know I tell you that this is great and all, but I hate it here. This isn’t…this isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s not what I want.”

“So, you’re coming home?” He asks even though my answer has always been obvious.

“Yes.”

The line falls quiet again. I can hear the shuffling of his feet quickening against the rotting wood floors of the old Maybank property. A broken home flipped into something good. We share a bed there, I imagine he’s already grieving the loss of his starfish sleep position now that he’ll be bound to the same mattress as me again.

“I’ll be there soon.” The line falls dead.

Water splashes around me. If I wasn’t already soaked, I would be now. I can see why John B loved having a car so much now. The cold was fine at first when it was numbing, but now that I had feeling back in my chest, it was too much for me. My feet hit the pavement in harsh slapping movements, I pump my arms for some kind of friction against the wind. My lungs burn, they taste metallic. I want to wheeze and stop running, but I don’t think I could if I tried. I should feel embarrassed how quickly I up and left the place I was once stuck in, how I turned on my heels to run far away. But I’m not. I feel nothing, actually. Nothing but cold, determination, excitement. I have the energy of a child. I am an olympic runner, I have the right motivation. Get the fuck out of here, run myself right into JJ’s arms. I pray I don’t wake my roommate up when I reach my room.

The room is empty when I get there. I open the door so slowly, not even the rusted hinges make a sound. The carpet groans under my weight, even on my highest tip-toes. But the beds are empty and neatly made like they were left this morning. Rains pelts the windows. Theres a fan running. It’s my fan. I can’t sleep in the heat, not even in the winter. My bedding consists of borrowed blankets that I buried myself in, subconsciously trying to suffocate away the homesick feelings.

I barely had any clothes to pack, anything to throw into my duffle bag and my old backpack that was once Kiara’s. I never really got around to unpacking anyway, because there was so little to fill the bags I brought. Looking back on every decision I made before even stepping foot on campus, I should have known I would never stay. This was merely a vacation from hell. I don’t get the privilege to relax, I am worked and forced to prove myself over and over again among my peers who will never know me. I can’t wait to go somewhere where I am known again.

Somewhere along the way, I begin to collect up the posters on my walls. I rip them down hazardously, crumpling them and leaving them in the empty trashcan. It’s empty because there’s nothing I’ve touched in this room. Not the books, or the pens. I have a singular pencil up on my desk that’s much shorter than it once was, only half of its once lengthy size, and a nearly full set of flashcards. I don’t need the memory of this place to follow me. I consider it a favor to my roommate. To gift her with all the supplies she will ever need. She is nice enough, and a lot smarter than me. She’s sitting here on a full ride, though, the collar of her shirt says she could afford it without a penny. I convince myself she deserves it even though I do not know her.

I check my phone repeatedly, and I sit on the bench under the old overhang by my dorms. I stay out of the rain, I stay near the warmth and huddle up. I feel anxious waiting for him. It’s only been a few hours. I swept over the room for the few things I did want to keep. Like one of JJ’s bracelets, though it never even left my wrist. Or the soap I used in the shower. It was brand new, I had just bought a new one. I wait for his call. I wait for the familiar honking of the rusted horn. I wait, and wait as the sun rises. Time ticks by. I am impatient, I wasn’t bred this way, but good things have made me this way. I cannot wait.

“Popes probably gonna kill me.” I mumbled softly.

The car was warm, but my hands still lingered with the outsides touch. I sat on that bench for hours waiting for him. I saw people rise from their beds and lean out the window, taking in the smell of the dewey morning. A few gave me puzzled glances. A drenched girl, dripping down on the bench, wetting everything she touched.

But then, he came. I could see the rusted van before he even put it in park. Just between the brick lined buildings and the paths decorated in dying shrubbery. There was a small gap between the campus lawn and the visitors parking lot. A small slice of the outside world creeping into the sheltered space that was college.

I ran. I ran faster than I ever had in my life. Faster than when I used to race for desert back when Big John used to ruffle my hair and let me sleep over if I wanted, faster than when Ward held a gun to my head and made me pray for some kind of miracle. I ran until my feet couldn’t keep up, and I fell into JJ with a gasp.

He held me back, lifting my feet from the ground they stood on. I swore I heard him mumble something sappy under his breath, but he quickly shrugged it away when he saw the look in my eyes. I never felt love until I felt the desperation in the way he wrapped his arms around me. The way he squeezed the air from my lungs and only let me breathe when he was sure that the feeling between his elbows and his chest was really real, until he knew that this was for good.

He had slung my bags into the back seat and laughed as he told me to get in the Twinkie. When he started driving, he played the old CD we burned together in middle school filled with soft rock and Bob Marley. Occasionally, a song I had written into the playlist without him knowing would play. He always acted angry that I’d done that, but his fingers tapped the wheel and he couldn’t help but hum along. He would never admit to liking trashy pop songs, but the pink on his cheeks gave him away.

When the CD was spun to an end, we debated playing it again. We fell into silence, into the comfort of company. We both took the time to process the fact that this was real now, this was the decision I had decided to make. The thoughts that ran through my mind, what if I took off? What if I packed my bags, what if we moved back home? Let’s adventure down the coast, let’s live our youthful dreams that are unrealistic. Let’s make a home. They were real now, in this car, in him. We sat comfortably knowing that there was no limit on our company now, no restrictions on how much time there was left to borrow.

My socks tapped against the dashboard, my toes tracing the outline of the stickers scattered along the interior. Wet residue was left over, soggy folds gathered at my ankles. My body folded into itself slightly. I let the warn air from the dusty vents dance across my skin. Goosebumps faded like the sinking feeling in my gut. The smell of gasoline filled my nose once more, the smell of his deodorant reminded me that he was close.

“No doubt about it. Don’t know how you’re gonna talk your way out of this one.” JJ sighed contently.

“Well, you’re pretty good at sweet talking.” I buttered him up. Compliments were his weakness, I knew it all too well.

“I love you, but no.” JJ laughed.

“What! Oh, come on, please!”

My hands wrapped around his right bicep. My chin sat perched on his shoulder, batting my eyelashes at him and tickling the peach fuzz on his jaw that he had missed while shaving. I wanted to rub my palm over it, tease him for it with a smile. He had a toothy grin that I could see reflecting back in the rearview mirror.

“I get shit done, but I’m not a miracle worker, ‘kay?” He lifted his arm out of my grasp reluctantly, waving his finger to make his point.

“I thought Papa J was a miracle worker?” I teased with a raised brow. My arms crossed over my chest with a huff. My back fell gently against door. I turned to face him, a pout on my face and lines between my furrowed brows.

JJ let out a breathy laugh, his resolve quickly breaking at my endless begging. He had soft spots and I knew just where to aim.

“No, no! Don’t use my ego against me!” He laughed. I held my stomach this time, trying to keep my ribs together while I struggled to contain the fits of giggles bubbling up my throat and fighting past my lips. If love was a sanctuary, I was certain I had both feet in it. If it was a fire, I was burning up, and if it was the waves, they had crashed down relentlessly against my shivering body, bringing relief with each blow.

I bit the inside of my cheek and chewed at the skin. Laughter faded into even breathing, and my limbs curled up against the wrinkling fabric of the passenger seat. It had just barely started to rain again, a soft pattern of droplets hitting the windshield every so often. The closer we got to the dock, the more it lightened up. Though, the storm came in waves in the shape of the clouds that covered the blue skies. With each opening with sun peaking through, the tapping on glass stopped. When the grey swallowed us whole, it resumed. I didn’t mind it again. Not for the reasons that I wallowed in just hours ago, not to seek comfort in my homesick nature that cane purely from the soul of a homebody. But this time, because the swelling my my heart made me want to pull over to the side of the highway and spin around until my half-dried socks were coated in mud and my skin didn’t recall what the dryness felt like.

“Can I tell you something?” I murmured, my eyes locked in to the passing view that was the trees speeding past the windows.

“Yeah.” JJ hummed.

“I only came back for you.”

JJ hesitated on what he thought he wanted to say. He was biting his tongue. I shook my head.

“That sounds bad.” I laughed. “I only decided to leave because of you. I guess…just sitting in the middle of the road, I already felt really far away from everyone. I missed everyone more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, but I was convinced that maybe I could suffer through it. But…just being with my thoughts, and hearing your voice after thinking for a while…kinda just convinced me.”

JJ took it all in. I saw the whites of his knuckles deepen the harder he pressed his fingertips to the wheel, the vast expanse of road ahead daunting now. This was beyond quality time together, and he knew it now that the newness began to settle and he began to realize it was the same old me. This was my future, and I had tossed it all away.

“I just…I guess I always thought you’d be the one to make it out. To really go for it. Kildare’s bog enough for me, but I always kinda thought you’d go somewhere…more.” JJ spoke softly, eyes glued to the road.

“Maybe I already did get out. I got out and I tried to change everything about me to be that girl who wanted to get out, but she’s dead. Getting out sounded so freeing when we were younger, but now…now that we’ve seen the world and…and done so much in such little time, I’ve already lived a whole life, I’ve seen the world and I still feel like I don’t know who I am yet. But I know what I love, and I know that I hate every second that I’m away from it.”

JJ hummed again, raising his brows.

“You don’t need to explore every single corner of the earth to be something or-or someone. And maybe I didn’t realize it when I sent my letter in but I know now and I know that, I feel only half as good when I’m anywhere but where I should be. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing or if Pope is going to lecture me for days and you have to listen to it, but I know I have such a better chance of being who I want to be where I can be her than in some Northern University where people wear coats year round.” I rambled. My hands moved quickly. I cut through the air with each slice of my palms, and my eyes ran wild across the landscapes and the curve of his nose down to the bend of his jawline.

“I’m just trying to make sure this is what you want.” He finally cracked a smile. His head turned for a moment to meet my eyes, and I could see the flickers of light brightening up his affectionate gaze.

“Jay, I sat in the pouring rain in the middle of the road and begged you to come get me.” I deadpanned, but a small smile still graced my face.

Truthfully, I couldn’t wait to stick my toes back in the warm sand back home. To look down at my boots and dance along the gravel roads instead of balancing between two yellow lines that shot straight down the neat pavement.

Home was a foreign concept for a long time. The idea that it was something that could be bought. Through a mortgage, monthly rent, out of pocket. I never had those kinds of expenses. What was pocket change for some felt like gold to me, so maybe when people sat around talking about how they craved a big house to reside in, I never fully understood. Then again, I was never anywhere long enough to know.

I wouldn’t change a thing, how I ran around with my friends for years looking for gold that seemed to become buried under more and more stories, leading us to an even greater prize. I wouldn’t change the way I threw it all away to be with them. Subconsciously, I was smarter than I thought. Pope talked about packing up his bags, skipping town and moving to Idaho. Somewhere where he meant nothing to nobody and could start over. But I never indulged in it, or the fantasies of having a little more money. Being stable out be nice, but I always knew I had what I needed. I had a home and it was built on the structure of my four best friends that soon grew in size to six, and they had toothy smiles and stupid jokes.

“Do you think they’ll be mad?” I asked suddenly. Sure, this was right and it was what was true, but this was a dream that nobody else ever got to experience.

JJ pulled his lip between his teeth.

“Nah.” He sighed. “Pope will have your head, but Pope gets wound up easily. Could use him as a fishing pole.” JJ joked. It made me laugh and I felt any stress melting away. It was funny that he could do that anytime he pleased. I didn’t know if he ever knew he could do it, but he had a smart mouth, and a funny bone that always seemed to tickle me just right.

“But not you?” I asked once again.

“Not me what?”

“You wouldn’t? Be disappointed in me, that is.” I clarified softly, the roads becoming softer the more me drove along them. It was only moments until we’d soon roll onto the metal bridge connecting us to the boat that would send us home.

JJ breathed out through his nose.

“Is this what you want?”

“Yes.” I responded plainly.

“And it makes you happy?”

“Yes.” JJ sighed, his eyes flickering from the wheel, to the road, and back to me. But only for a moment.

“Then no.” He answered just as plainly as I did, but there was a twinge of happiness itching at the corners of his lips. Selfishly, he wanted me to come home, and selfishly, I did too.

“Well, are you mad at me?” I continued to press him.

He laughed. “I could never be angry at you.”

“Not even if this is the wrong choice?” I picked at the skin by my fingers. My skin hurt a lot less now that it was shedding the smell of foreign land and letting the faint smell of the Twinkie stick.

“Who am I to tell you if it’s wrong?”

“Well, Pope would tell me it’s wrong.” I argued weakly.

“And am I Pope?”

I shook my head silently, and my eyes glued to my fingers. Blood stained my cuticles, where skin met nail. It stung, but it hurt a lot less than what I felt before.

“Y/n/n, you could send me into bankruptcy and act like we’re rich and I don’t think I’d even have it in me to blame you.” JJ smiled. I focused on the slopes and curls of his hair.

We sat in silence for a moment. It wasn’t like he was Shakespeare, but it wasn’t often JJ said something truly sappy. Usually, his philosophies revolved around excuses for his own stupid actions, which, now that he had explained his view on me, I had come to realize I never fully saw the extent of his behavior because I had never had the courage to blame him. I never would.

“So, you’ll talk me out of trouble when we get back?” I smiled sweetly, leaning my head on his shoulder and batting my eyelashes desperately.

JJ let out a laugh from deep in his stomach, his cheeks turning pink from his gasps of oxygen.

“I love you, but no.”

“I thought JJ was the reckless one, but holy shit, Y/n/n!” Pope ran a hand over his hat, pulling it off by the brim in one quick motion. The hard fabric hit the wooden counter of the bait and charter shop, the slap echoing through the homely space.

“Can you blame me? It’s so far away, and we just got back! I haven’t been in one place for more than a month in years, and I’m so god damn tired of feeling homesick all the time!” I tried to argue against the growing rally against me. I pleaded my case, but they all looked at me like I was brain dead.

“You had a chance, Y/n. A really good one too and you blew it, for what? To sell bait? To slum it in the cut? You can do that when you’re done earning your other options!” He scolded me like I was a kid. But I’m not a kid, and the worry lines slowly creeping up onto my once vibrant face are only evidence of the ever growing number attached to my bones.

“Yes, but a chance I didn’t ever really want! I mean, how could I even know if I ever wanted it, I don’t know who I am!”

“Thats what growing up is for! Not growing down. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not a kid anymore, Y/n. And you never will be again!”

Silence fell over the small room. Even the waves rolling against the dirt didn’t dare to whisper through the large windows and gaps for doors.

“I sacrificed that for you.” I spoke softly, bitterly. For so long, I’s bitten my tongue for everyone. Hidden my resentment for chasing after a gold, I never really wanted because in my eyes, I already had it. But it was what they wanted, so I let myself age out of the period of my life I had dreamed of since I was a kid.

“I gave up my childhood so that you could figure out yours! You got to know who you are, I never got that because no one ever stopped to ask me what I wanted! Nobody! You were all too caught up in your greedy treasure hunt to ever look around and think about if everyone wanted to do this!”

“No one made you come along.” Kiara stepped forward, the same disapproving look in her eyes. She was only defending her wordless friend, but my feet felt heavy and my joints were warm. I felt myself creating sentences I should have never admitted out loud.

“Well I did! I did, and it’s too late to change that, and I did it because that’s what friends do. But what do we have to show for it? Nothing! We didn’t get the cross, we didn’t get the gold, hell, we already spent all of the nuggets John B managed to grab!” It fell silent again, and suddenly, I was standing in the center of a circle I didn’t want to be a part of.

“So what? Because we failed, it condemns you to leave college?” Kiara always had a smarter mouth than me. She was quit witted and observant. Yet, she failed to understand that my choice to come home wasn’t something merely of the way the treasures slipped through our fingers. It was a homesickness she never had to feel because she had plenty of them where she was consistently welcomed.

“Why is it so wrong for me to be unhappy with something that everyone else enjoys? Just because my dreams do not inspire yours does not make them any less important. A-and honestly I’m sick of standing here and listening to all of you yell at me for getting out of there instead of letting myself waste away! I’d be dead if I didn’t leave, I’d be dead because you all mean a lot too much to me for me to be away from you guys for so long. In four years I might be rich, but I would be unhappy. I would be bored. But you guys—us; we will be interesting, and funny, and bold, and unpredictable forever.”

I swallowed hard, and my eyes met the blues of the boy who had the courage to go against the majorities better judgement and bring me home. He had the same wild look on his face.

I hadn’t expected JJ to speak for me, to try and mellow out the anger I knew I would receive and backtrack against the backlash I would surely face. But out of everyone, I thought I could count on him to have my back.

And he just, didn’t.

I decided then I wouldn’t stay in the eye of the hurricane when I knew what it was capable of. I wouldn’t let myself become part of its destruction if I knew I could separate myself from it for just a moment, to remove myself from all the disappointed stares.

My feet hit the wood of the long dock, the bottoms of my shoes echoing through each plank of wood, all borrowed from the destruction of a past home.

I thought of packing up, leaving, heading over to some other place I could call home temporarily, but my fingers hesitated to reach under the bed, and my knuckles curled away from the zipper that connected to the duffle bag that was squished between dirty clothes and shoe boxes filled with memories.

A hand spun me around, pulling me from the daze I had put myself in the second I walked into the new bedroom that was mine to keep in the newly fixed home. It was calloused and warm, yet the coolness of the rings decorated on each finger revealed who the strong hold belonged to.

“Why couldn’t say something?” I asked bitterly before my eyes even met his. It was just JJ and I in the confines of our bedroom. The door shut without a crack and the windows sealed off from the outside.

“I told you I wouldn’t.” He smiled. I didn’t find it funny.

“No, but you could have defended me. I would have done it for you.” My lip wobbled. My throat stung, and JJ’s eyes softened. He must have believed it was because he hurt me, but it wasn’t his fault. It was just the idea that nobody would ever deal with what I felt because they hadn’t been burdened with the feeling of it ever before. And therefore, nobody would ever get it, nor have an inkling of an understanding of why I had to come home.

“Y/n/n, come on. It’ll blow over. They’ll be happy to have you back as soon as they get over it.” He tried to comfort me.

When his hands found my shoulders, it felt belittling, condescending, though I knew it wasn’t the case. I convinced myself it was because I was angry. Spiteful, maybe.

“No, JJ, stop. Stop touching me like you care, I can’t…I can’t stand it right now.” I stepped away, throwing his hands off of me like they were poison, or fire, or both.

“Everyone is looking at me like I’m a failure! Like…like I’m something to be embarrassed about. But who are they to say that I failed? Right? I spent my whole life, the years when I’m supposed to be finding myself licking the dirt off of other peoples shoes! And I took it and I didn’t complain because I thought that maybe my day would come, and it hasn’t! How is that fair? And to think I was stupid enough to think that something good would happen to me. But the truth is I hate being out of this stupid town, and this stupid town hates me. I-it’s like they’re all spitting on me and blaming it on the wind. And don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I love you too damn hard to be looked at like that by a boy I would give my whole life for!”

I breathed heavily through my teeth, and my chest raised with so much vigor in my voice, I shook the air with a desperate anger I had felt marinating for decades beneath my skin. Yet, the manhunting and the blaming had pushed it down, and the failure and the fear had only boiled it back up. But it was always there, simmering. JJ just laughed.

“I’m only looking at you like you’re crazy because I think you’re too good to care what anyone has to say about you.” He explained with a smile.

“To you, maybe. But that doesn’t make it true. Whats true is that they all had some image of me painted for them the second I made the decision to go to college, and it was wrong. Because I’m not nearly smart enough to be as interesting or independent as they want me to be. I can’t do organic chemistry, I’ve never passed a calculus test, I’m not a doctor. Nobody ever supported those dreams anyways, not even me, because as amazing as it would be to become those versions of myself, it’s not me.” My face crumpled in defeat finally.

“I’m not…good enough for anything outside of this town.”

For the first time in my life, I saw something in JJ’s eyes as I confessed how I saw myself, how I let my friends—no, my families anger affect how I saw my decisions. I saw dapples of disappointment flickering in the sea of his eyes.

“Do you really think thats true?” He asked calmly, softly. He ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to reach out for me, but he too shared that feeling of uncertainty that had consumed me in the past months.

“Good god, maybe they were right. Maybe you are a failure.” JJ sighed, and my breathing halted. “How can you for one second believe that anything they have to say is true? How can you believe that these things you think about yourself are true?”

“Well what am I supposed to believe? We were all raised to believe the same things, right? The engineers and the scientists are necessary but nobody needs the family man or-or the artists to carry on, right? So why should my dreams of just simple living be tolerated when everyone else craves so much more?” I cried.

“Do you even hear yourself? It’s contradictory in every sentence!” JJ yelled furiously back at me. But his anger wasn’t placed at me, but at the things that led me to believe what I thought.

“Just a few hours ago you were excited to come home. You were certain that this is what you wanted because it was your dream and your life! You wanted to find yourself, to know who you are. And you were right! More dead on than anyone had ever been in my life, and hearing you speak about what you knew inspired me to think more for myself than for the benefit of everyone else! College, or some fancy job, or money won’t make any of us know who we are, that’s your job!” JJ’s eyes were wide. He had decided now, and his hands found a home on my arms, squeezing hard and passionately.

“Anyone can be those things they want you to be, but I promise you, if you stick with what you know you want, everyone you touch will remember you for centuries.” He promised me softly.

“And how do I know if I even know myself? What if I’ve never been home enough long enough to know?”

“Then you’ll find it. You’ll find it, and I’ll find it too. We can find it together.”

My eyes searched his. I could no longer blink away my tears. The liquid was much warmer than the rain that had pelted against my skin, that had slipped down my back and under my shirt to touch the most painful and terrifying parts of myself that I had refused to acknowledge or recover for some time. It was hard to recognize it all, to know exactly who I wanted to be, so, I did what I did know.

I wrapped my arms around JJ tightly, burying my head in the wrinkles of his shirt and let the patterns his arms rubbed circles in my back guide the way I swayed. I let him hold me, because if anything could be uncertain then he was nothing. He was the one thing I’d always known, and maybe that was why I had called him that night. Because in every memory I ever had, he was the one defining memory of home. He was home.

“Will you be mad at me if I never find it?” I asked pathetically against his chest.

“No.” He responded softly, muffled by the way his lips pressed into the top of my head affectionately.

“I could never be angry at you.”

[delulupunk]

How the batboys would react to anniversaries!

Dick Grayson

He really tries his best to spend the day with you or carve out some time, but if you’re a civilian then it’s hard. He’s got to lead the titans, stop Mr Freeze, make sure Bruce doesn’t adopt anyone else, stop Mr Freeze again!

When he finally gets to you he makes it well worth your time. He’ll confidently give you your favourite flowers because he knows exactly which ones they are.

Dick is a diehard romantic so he’ll bring you back to where you had your first date, or wherever you first met depending on how memorable the moment was.

“Sooooo, I’m assuming you remember this place…” He’ll say with a cheeky smile- nervously he’ll add, “You do like it right?”

Expect a lot of nostalgia to the early days of your relationship, which will lead to you two falling in love with each other again.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the entire World.”

Jason Todd

“Well… do you want to celebrate our anniversary?”

Jason doesn’t believe it should be any different from any other days in your relationship. Sure he wants to commentate and appreciate your time together, but you two shouldn’t be doing anything drastically different right? After all you both put a 110% into your relationship naturally.

He’ll definitely buy you a very thoughtful gift, most likely a book that reminds him of you. However Jason doesn’t have the confidence to give it to you in person, because he’s scared you’ll reject the idea or throw his affections back in his face.

Instead he’ll leave the gift for you on the beside table with a note. Which is short and to the point, but again he’s worried that he may be overestimating how much you truly care for him, so he acts aloof.

“For you, happy anniversary.”

Tim drake

He’ll probably be a few minutes late to the date looking totally disorientated. Shoving your favourite flowers into your hand he’ll breathlessly give you an apology.

“Sorry-“ pant, “riddler,” pant, “is crazy,” wheeze.

Tim is looking for more of a casual day rather than a massive extravagant event. He just wants to spend time with his lover and feel free to be himself.

The pair of you will go on a date doing something that you both find equally enjoyable so the day isn’t solely spent on one of you.

Tim’s definitely bought you something expensive to give you after the date is over. It’s something that reminded him of you when he walked past a store in the diamond district a few weeks ago and he couldn’t resist. Secretly he hopes you like it, one because his bank account took a bit of a dent, two the store doesn’t do returns and three he’ll be scared he doesn’t understand you properly.

“It suits you perfectly.”

Damian Wayne

You and Damian have dinner at Wayne Manor, which sounds very simplistic, but the little details are what makes the anniversary special.

Either you or Alfred will make the dinner, while Damian goes patrolling. This means he has the entire night to give to you and not Gotham.

You both dress up as if you’re going to a fancy gala and insist on no interruptions.

It’s just you and Damian with the fireplace silently rustling behind you and the opulence of Wayne Manor to embrace you.

The affair is quiet and romantic, not overstated and tiring. It’s just the right pace for you and Damian.

No words need to be said at the end of the meal as you both stare into the fireplace, save for a previous statement.

“Thank you for trusting me with your heart.”

Duke Thomas

“No it’s next week right?”

Duke is so sweet and loves you to the moon and back. Unfortunately he’s a bit forgetful. Duke however makes things up for you in an impressive fashion. If there’s one thing Duke knows it’s kindness.

You’d think he hadn’t even forgotten considering how he takes you to all the right places and says all the right things. The day goes by so quickly but it’s completely jam packed with activities.

“I know you always wanted to, so why not today!”

Since he forgot the anniversary he doesn’t buy you a specific gift, but to you the day in itself is a gift. He completely forgoes patrol all together for you.

“Please forgive me, I love you too much to let you go.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

A destiny encounter where unmasked Vessel (still sour and hurt by his past relationship) meet a nice person (younger but mature) at a music shop. Slowly they get close with each other and develop romantic feelings. When its time for them to confess their feelings, Vessel decided to tell his secret about who he is. Turns out his lover is a big fan of Sleep Token e Vessel have this big grin on his face while his significant other babble about how amazing his music is.

Bye~ and sorry 🫠🫢

Healing hearts

Vessel had decided that was it. No more. No more relationships. No more commitment. He wasn’t gonna ever open himself up. He was too damaged. Too hurt. Too scared of ever giving any piece of himself to anyone else again. But life worked in funny ways. When he first met you he thought nothing of it. He had just come back from a tour. Tired and drained all he had wanted was to come back to his usual routines. One of them was visiting random music shops, shit that has opened while they had been away.

Vessel rarely paid others peace of mind. He didn’t want to be approached so equally he didn’t want others to think he was all up in their space. But his eyes instantly found you. As if by a pull from the moment he stepped into a store. He wasn’t sure what drew him in. From a first glance, you looked like every other girl. Big fluffy scarf. Hair pulled up in a messy bun. Concentrated on digging through the vinyl records.

“Wouldn’t buy them here if I was you”, for a moment Vessel was almost confused himself that he had said anything at all. Until your head turned to him. “Sorry?”, you quickly reached for your airpods pulling them out. And it’s when your eyes hit him that Vessel realized how truly mesmerizing you were. His mouth closed and fell open a couple of times before he reached out for the shelf. “The records are overpriced here”, he repeated, clearing his throat. “Oh, I… thank you?! I was just…”, you stuttered, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m new to the area”. Vessel nodded quickly, “There’s a spot just down the corner. Same stuff half the price”. A slight smile softened your face even more, “Thank you, I’ve been missing music in my apartment”.

“A musician?”, Vessel asked making you quickly shake your head, “Just an enthusiast”, you chuckled, “Y/n by the way”. And here it is the moment that usually has him running for the hills. Because from this point you would no longer be strangers. “Vess”, he extended his much bigger palm to you. “Tea?”, you asked, “For saving my wallet for unnecessary purchases”, you chuckled and Vessel couldn’t help but smile himself, “Wouldn’t this be an unnecessary purchase?”, “Nope, feels like an investment”, you shrugged. A feeling Vessel hasn’t felt in a while sparks deep within as he let himself watch you for a minute. Something deep urging him to try this one more time, “Sure”, he mused, “Lead the way”.

[yaut-jaknowit]

How bout getting a look at Vic’tao’s and Uihoy’s first time doing the bedtime tango, given how they first I can see this being a slow build up till one of em snaps and makes the first move kek

- 🥤

Burst

Character: Vic'tao (Male Yautja) x Uihoy (Male Yautja)

Warnings: anal sex, knotting, rough, marking, biting, clawing, possessive yautjas (duh), mlm.

Word Count: 2871

Summary: After getting over their major differences, both Yautjas agree to team up for hunts. In close quarters with only each other, tensions can run high. And what's the best way to get rid of those tensions? Fucking them out of their system.

Author Note: Yasssss, they don't know what to do with each other up till this point. All they needed was a small... push. You give the best ideas, thank you so much!

P.s. Happy Thanksgiving yall. I know not every celebrates it. I personally don't. I just like getting together with my family and having delicious food. If you have a shitty family, don't worry. I can save you. Just gotta read some gay smut to make your day better!

P.s.s. Requests are closed. So sorry!

Masterlist

Ao3

Fleeting glances had both Yautjas tensing and snapping their heads away from each other. This continuously happens nearly every day now for the last month. Neither can figure out why they keep looking over at the other. They are desperate to find the source of this distraction. A distraction that cannot happen while preparing for a hunt.

Deep, sharp clicks rolled off of Uihoy’s tongue. The yellow of eyes glowing lightly in the dimmed room of the cockpit. A feeling of an insect crawling its way underneath his skin forced the male to shutter. The purple Yautja pulled his mandibles tight over his mouth and focused solely on a spot on the metal ground.

It’s just a hunt, he chanted over and over in his mind. They were solidifying plans for the moment. Any backup plans in case the hunt somehow turned for the worse. Retreating to live and fight another day.

Yet, Uihoy couldn’t get Vic’tao off of his mind. His thoughts were consumed by the yellow base and blue tinted Yautja. The way the male stood at the console, fingers gracefully typing away. His lethal, lean form stole his attention. Uihoy drew his mandibles tightly inward and gritted his jaw. The muscles that lined his neck flexing at the strain.

These two were brought up to despite the other, even challenge to the death. Except, they’ve gone against their upbringing to live amongst together on Uihoy’s ship. Uihoy could even say he enjoyed Vic’tao’s company. Even going to the fact he thought about wanting the younger male to be around more often than not.

Any opportunity to watch they male move with grace.

His purple scales shuddered. He couldn’t stop his eyes from darting away from the floor and up to Vic’tao. There was the yellow Yautja meeting his gaze all over again. Uihoy had to bite off a groan and clenched his hands into fists. Anything to stop himself from tearing about the console in front of him.

Something in the back of his mind clawed for the surface. A thought that made him turn it almost instantly down. This was enough he could do with right now. (Wanting to woo Vic’tao into mating with him)

A sigh sounded from Uihoy. Said male slipped out of his seat and marched straight out of the cockpit. He needed space, time, and fresh air before he did something he may regret later.

After the fifth time of meeting Uihoy’s bright yellow eyes, Vic’tao vowed to never look at him again. It’s not like Vic even liked Uihoy one bit. Everything he did irradiated him to the bone. It grated at his nerves watching the bulky, stout Yautja work the console like he was born with the knowledge. Muscle memory allowing Uihoy to glance over at Vic’tao’s staring self.

Each time, Vic was caught red handed. Both looking away at the same time. Not in a challenging way. All he wanted to do was admire Uihoy from a safe distance in a common area. Where he won’t be thought of as strange or rude for constantly finding his eyes on the older male. He didn’t think Uihoy would catch him every single time. The Yautja was good.

With a shake of his head, tresses swaying with the movement, Vic’tao refocused on the hologram in front of him. This was considered an average hunt for the average hunter.  At least, the prey was. But the lands weren’t something he was used to. Mountain terrain may drag his form down.

He may be lean and great at climbing towering, monstrous trees. These were a different obstacle to overcome. The face of the mountain terrain they were trekking through was like claws jutting out of the ground, tearing through the sky.

Many call it Paya’s hand. It wasn’t a place on Yautja Prime but a well known planet that those that decide to visit use it for training. The prey are well and plentiful, leaving a snack to a hungry, tired Yautja after a day full of training. Or to those looking to stock up for the next week.

Movement caught the yellow Yautjas attention. His head snapping over towards Uihoy. The male stomped his way out of the cockpit. Vic’tao furrowed his brow once the door slid shut behind Uihoy.

“What just happened?” he muttered to himself then shook his head. The mysterious ways of the homebound Yautjas will forever puzzle him. Mothership born are always much simpler.

That very next day, a pair of yellow and a pair of orange eyes found each other in the kitchen. Fresh meat stock the cooling box. Plenty to keep their bellies full for the next week. Vic’tao chirped quietly to himself, muscles freezing up. Not this again! The Yautja couldn’t believe it was happening all over again.

Vic’tao heavily ignore a burn that settled in the pit of his stomach. The logical sight of his brain shouting, demanding for Vic to take his life by the reins and actually do something!

In reality, the younger male continued to stand there. His feet felt rooted in the spot, molded into the  very metal floors they stand upon. All he was able to do was move his gaze down towards the ground at his feet. Focus on another else besides Uihoy. Don’t look at him. Vic’tao had to constantly remind himself. Uihoy distracted him. It’s all what he’s been doing every time they are near each other.

This time, Uihoy didn’t remove his eyes from avoiding Yautja. Actually, he narrowed his gaze and leaned forward on the kitchen island. Uihoy support more of his weight on his palms.

The small twitches of Vic’tao’s mandibles told Uihoy a wordless story. The younger male avoided his powerful, direct gaze. Uihoy even felt that he may have crossed into challenging territory but didn’t stop. Maybe, a small part of him wanted for Vic’tao to take up the challenge. What could possible turn out in the end one pins the other? Uihoy stood there, consumed by his thoughts for a few long seconds until he realized what had just pass through his mind.

His head jerked back, eyes wide and blinking more times than necessary. This time with Vic’tao… Being in the same ship for weeks upon a time. It as driving him insane! A mothership born and homebound can’t. It’s not logically possible. The differences in culture.

Let alone the thought process. Uihoy is used to nearly dying everyday from a predator on Yautja Prime. What did Vic’tao had to go through?

The anger he attempted to force into his system swiftly washed away. Uihoy rested back on his palms and let his head hang. What was he supposed to do in this situation? His hands curled into fists. This wasn’t the plan. Everything is jumbled mess of emotions he truly didn’t understand.

In his blood, his instinct, he wanted to tear apart the thing created all of these issues for him. It wasn’t the time for talk. There was no words in the moment to quell him. It was time for action.

“Uihoy, are you angry at the counter or something?” the youngster quipped with a short snort afterwards. The words snapped him out of his thoughts. His plan falling apart right before his eyes.

Uihoy raised his head and blinked a few times at the other male. Then, he finally found his voice. “No,” he drawled and tried to a reason from the depths of his mind. “I’m just… thinking.” If Uihoy could, he would’ve face palmed at the stupidity he just displayed.

“Huh. Well, what’s causing you to be upset?” he asked once more. Vic’tao had turned around to face Uihoy, head tilted fully to the side. The blue-gray, thin tresses falling off his shoulder. A singular brow was raised at Uihoy’s direction. “I can smell your anger from all the way over here, you know?”

Ah, there was no denying or hiding such a fact. Uihoy usually has a good control on his scent and emotions. Yet, this was new territory for him. A female… he could understand. The many children he’s sired are evident enough. With Vic’tao, Uihoy stumbled like the first time a combistick was thrust upon in his hands; told to fight for his life.

Was that what he was going? Trying to… mate with Vic’tao? Same sex isn’t seen normally. It does happen amongst Yautjas. At their base root, they must produce children for the next generation. So many don’t follow that route for a same sex mate. Some clans frown upon it, discouraging it for the next for the next generations.

Yet, all of this dancing, all of this toying, avoiding the issue has only caused more issues. The tension between them only building the longer either Yautja dismissed the feelings in their chests.

A snarl tore from the elder’s throat. Vic’s eyes jumped wide, mandibles twitching. His body reacted by preparing for a fight. Uihoy was on him in a flash, quicker than Vic’tao could comprehend. A mighty, purple hand wrapped around the taller, leaner male and held him against a wall. Vic’tao didn’t struggle. His eyes watched every twitch, every muscle that moved.

H'dui'se. Thick, heavy in the air. Both Yautjas tensed up, tongues darting out to taste each other’s scent in the air.

Nearly glowing eyes bored into the other. Uihoy could see it in Vic that he too struggled with these unknown emotions. Not unnatural… just new, unsure about how to feel. Uihoy was done fliting around.

“Strip. Now.” Deep from Uihoy’s voice came a sound that had Vic’tao’s scent doubling. It nearly made the older Yautja dizzy and lose his grip. He growled again and redoubled his firm grasp on Vic’s throat. The younger male didn’t move for a few, long seconds. Uihoy tightened his hand again. “Strip.” And he wouldn’t say it again. He would do it himself.

The seriousness in Uihoy’s eyes had the yellow Yautja undoing the knot on his pants in record time Neither looked away from each other. The clothe had been pulled off to reveal the entirety of Vic’tao’s well sculpted body. Uihoy laid a hand on Vic’tao’s chest and ran his lethal claws down to palm at his wet sheath. He toyed with it by running his thumb between the folds. Vic’tao keened and rutted his hips forward. His hands landed on Uihoy’s shoulders and gripped tightly.

“Don’t you pauk-de toy with me, home-world born,” he seethed and glared at Uihoy from underneath his brows. His hands twitched to turn the tables and pin Uihoy to the wall. Each touch on his sheath prevented him from committing to the thought. “Uihoy.”

Said male grinned wide, mandibles flared out in display and enjoyment. Able to knock the high and mighty youngster made his blood sing. “What was that?”

Sharp nails dug into Uihoy’s shoulders. Neon green blood began to drip freely from the new wounds. In a flash, Uihoy took Vic’tao down to the ground and placed a foot on the yellow Yautja’s chest. When Vic made a move to move, Uihoy added his weight. “Stay.” Vic’tao listened to the older male and watched as he stripped himself as well.

The little clothing he wore as well was discarded somewhere in the kitchen. Each male naked like the day they were born.

Uihoy lets his cock slip free from his sheath. A hand wraps around his girth and gives a few firm strokes. Underneath him, Vic’tao growled and tried to get up on an elbow. But, Uihoy bellowed a warning and verbally forced him to lay back down. Vic huffed and could only watch as the brightly colored shaft twitched against the older male’s hand.

Pleasure and need pooled at the base of Uihoy’s spine. The need to pin the other down was far too great for him to handle. With a snarl, Uihoy flips him around onto his belly and hikes his hips up. Vic’tao claws at the metal kitchen floors at the sudden change. His own cock slides out of its sheath and meets the warm air. It was already soaked and dripping onto the ground.

A thumbpad touched at his tight entrance. Vic tensed up with a yelp before getting a hold of his nerves. He didn’t care if he was on the receiving end. All he wanted was to be connected with Uihoy in some way or another. He shook his nerves off and rutted his hips back. Uihoy got the signal.

The pointed, wet tip was lined up. Uihoy didn’t waste a second on theoretics and shoved his hips forward. Pain and pleasure exploded inside of Vic. His claws tug into metal and scrapped against the floors. His eyes were screwed shut as he attempted to control his erratic breathing. Uihoy groaned at the feeling that ran up his spine.

He tugged his hips back in a fluid motion and rocked forward again. A steady, fast pace was set. All he wanted to do was take and take and take from Vic. Get all he could from the yellow Yautja. Uihoy wanted all of him. He needed all of Vic’tao as his own.

His mate.

As the thought hit him, he didn’t slow. He didn’t stutter. No, his pace increased. The fluid from his sheath aided him. Wet, obscene noises filled the open space. Every thought was consumed by the need to have this Yautja be filled with his essence. He wanted Vic’tao. He wanted his heart.

Once the pain quickly gave way to pleasure, Vic’tao reached for his aching shaft and wrapped a hand around it. “Pauk!” He toyed with the tip and pushed out more pre-cum to use it as lube. Then, Vic set the same pace as Uihoy the best he could. But the older Yautja was going wild, loosing himself in the pleasure and need.

Uihoy hunched over Vic’tao and locked his arms around the yellow Yautja’s waist. This anchored him to Vic’tao and let him keep the same pace. He was able to go harder. The stinging slaps of Uihoy’s thighs to Vic’tao’s butt and thighs only drowned the younger Yautja in more ecstasy.

“Mine. Pauk-de mine. My mate!” Uihoy declared with a roar. Vic’tao didn’t fully comprehend the purple yautja’s words and only went along with it. A heady whine left his throat as he could feel closing in fast.

Cum painted Vic’tao hand and the floor underneath him. He felt like he was bursting at the seams. The pleasure overwhelming to the point he couldn’t think or see straight. Vic’tao yelled out, hand squeezing his tip to push every drop out.

Each clench around his already sensitive cock sent the purple Yautja into overdrive. He didn’t care about the force or the speed of his thrust. He needed to knot him. All Uihoy could think about is marking the whining Yautja underneath him.

Uihoy’s eyes narrowed on the perfect place. Without another moment, Uihoy latched his fangs into Vic’tao’s exposed shoulder. Said male reared up with a cry of pain. Blood pooled around Uihoy’s teeth creating a scar that would bond the two of them. Vic’tao squirmed underneath him. Uihoy only tightened his jaw and mandibles with a thick growl.

It only took two more thrusts for the male’s knot to expand pass the stretch ring of muscles. Vic’tao sobbed into the floor. The ball of flesh pressing against a bundle of nerves inside of him. Uihoy continued to rock his hips the best he could, pouring what seed he could inside of his new mate.

Once the last of the buzzing of energy finally dispersed, Uihoy unlatched his teeth. Both of hands were on either side of Vic’tao’s head to lift most of his weight off of the limp male. Vic’tao was purring away, dazed and content. Uihoy snorted then used a hand brush away Vic’tao’s tress on his shoulder. His mate mark fresh and evident on the younger male’s shoulder. Uihoy couldn’t be prouder of himself at the sight. He could feel his cock twitch inside of Vic’tao.

He leaned down and nuzzled carefully above the wound on Vic’tao. “You did so well, mate. I’m gonna keep you. You’re mine now.” Uihoy purred his own tune to calm down Vic’tao’s wildly beating heart he could hear. One of his hands petted at Vic’tao’s side. “Stay with me, Vic. Please.” Yes, he could make all the demands he wanted but it all mattered to Vic’tao if he wanted to stay after this.

“As if I would pauk-de leave after such a dicking down,” Vic’tao mumbled underneath Uihoy. The purple Yautja couldn’t help but snort at his words.

The hand petting Vic’s side stopped at his hip. With an experimental tug, he was able to slip his knot out of Vic. Said Yautja groaned and tensed up. Cum oozes out of his stretched hole and leaked down onto his thighs then the floor. Uihoy tightened his hold Vic’tao for a moment at the beautiful, delicious sight. 

“Want another?” Uihoy toyed with him.

Vic’tao tensed underneath him for a different reason. “If you don’t get your penis back in me, I swear…” He wasn’t needing to be told twice.

[mingi-s-dimples]

Sparring Partners - Jongho

KINKTOBER DAY 25, REQ. BY anon

~"Jongho+ virginity+ he's experienced, but reader is a virgin"

pairing: jongho x fem!reader

genre: 18+, some soft moments

summary: you and jongho, sparring partners since forever. tho, something shifted in the air the night you decided to stay over schedule and workout..

wc: 6k

warnings: sparring partners, play fight/controlled fight mentioned, reader is a virgin, lots of teasing, making out, penetration, eating out, multiple orgasms, some fluff at the end, they cuddle, unprotected (boo use protection irl!), unedited, for sure forgot something.

Author's Note: I had to okay... i had to add boxing in one of my fics 😞😞😞 fun fact I have a black belt in taekwondo but haven't practiced in years because of my knee 😩 fuck inexperienced fightersss. anywayss sorry for the delay ml i hope you like it !!!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not represent in any way the reality of the member.

The gym echoed with the sharp sounds of punches hitting the heavy bag and sneakers squeaking against the mat. It was late evening, and the training space was nearly empty, save for a few stragglers winding down their routines. You tightened the laces on your gloves, adjusting the wraps underneath, and rolled your shoulders to loosen up. This was your sanctuary—a place where you could lose yourself in the rhythm of training and momentarily forget the chaos of life outside.

And then there was Jongho.

“Ready to get knocked on your ass again?” his voice rang out from behind you.

You groaned inwardly but didn’t bother turning around. “You’ve got jokes today, huh?”

He walked past you, his presence annoyingly commanding. Dressed in his usual black tank top and joggers, he looked every bit the confident fighter you’d always known. Jongho had been your best friend since high school, but lately, your relationship had taken a turn. The constant teasing, the competitive jabs—it all felt heavier, charged with something neither of you dared to name.

“Come on,” he said, stretching his arms overhead, his muscles flexing in a way that shouldn’t have been distracting. “I’m just keeping you on your toes. If you want to get better, you’ve got to keep up with me.”

You rolled your eyes but followed him to the sparring ring. “You’re so full of yourself. Just because you’ve got a little more experience doesn’t mean I can’t hold my own.”

Jongho smirked, leaning casually against the ropes as you climbed in. “A little more experience? Sweetheart, I could train you in my sleep.”

The nickname stung, but you masked it with a glare. “If you’re so confident, maybe I’ll surprise you tonight.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Alright. Show me what you’ve got.”

The banter was a familiar dance, but beneath the surface, it prickled at your pride. Jongho had always been ahead of you—in life, in love, in the ring. You couldn’t deny his skill or his charm, but his cockiness got under your skin. Tonight, though, you were determined to prove yourself.

The two of you squared up, circling each other in the ring. You kept your stance low, your fists raised, and your eyes locked on his. He moved with a relaxed confidence, his footwork fluid and precise.

“Don’t overthink it,” he said, his tone lighter now. “You always hesitate before throwing a punch.”

“I don’t hesitate,” you shot back, aiming a quick jab at his midsection.

He dodged effortlessly, his lips quirking into a grin. “Yes, you do.”

Your frustration grew as you continued sparring. No matter how hard you tried, Jongho always seemed to anticipate your moves, countering with ease. He wasn’t even breaking a sweat while you were already feeling the strain.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he taunted, blocking your punch and pushing you back with a light shove.

You stumbled but caught yourself, narrowing your eyes. “Shut up and fight me properly.”

His expression shifted slightly, a flicker of something serious passing through his eyes. “Alright, then.”

In a blur of movement, Jongho closed the distance between you, his punches coming faster and harder. You managed to block most of them, but his sheer power was overwhelming. Before you knew it, he had you pinned against the ropes, his hands gripping your wrists to immobilize you.

“Gotcha,” he said, his voice low and smug.

Your heart pounded—not just from the exertion, but from the closeness of him. His face was inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. You tried to ignore the way your body reacted, the way your stomach fluttered in a way that had nothing to do with fear.

“Let go,” you said, your voice shakier than you’d intended.

“Not until you admit I’m better,” he teased, though his grip loosened slightly.

You glared at him, but the intensity of his gaze made it hard to hold. His dark eyes seemed to search yours, as if he was looking for something beyond your usual banter. For a moment, neither of you moved, the charged silence stretching between you.

And then he let go, stepping back with a smirk. “We’ll call it a draw.”

“Like hell we will,” you muttered, shaking off the strange tension as you moved to reset your stance.

But the truth was, you couldn’t shake it. Something had shifted in that moment, and it lingered in the air between you.

---

You stayed at the gym longer than usual, working the heavy bag long after Jongho had left. Or at least, you thought he’d left.

When you finally peeled off your gloves and headed to the locker room, you found him sitting on one of the benches, scrolling through his phone.

“Why are you still here?” you asked, startled.

He looked up, his expression unreadable. “Waiting for you.”

Your brow furrowed. “Why?”

He shrugged, standing and walking toward you. “Because you’ve been off all night, and I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on,” you said, brushing past him to grab your water bottle.

“Bullshit,” he said, his tone sharper now. “You’ve been pissed at me for weeks, and I don’t even know why. Did I do something, or are you just in a bad mood?”

His bluntness caught you off guard, and you turned to face him, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “You’re just—ugh, you’re so infuriating sometimes! You act like you’re better than me at everything, like I’m some kind of joke to you.”

Jongho blinked, clearly taken aback. “Is that what you think?”

“Yeah, it is,” you said, your voice rising. “You’re always teasing me, always showing off. I get it—you’re more experienced, more skilled, whatever. You don’t have to rub it in my face all the time.”

He stared at you for a moment, his jaw tightening. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Then what are you doing?” you demanded, crossing your arms.

Jongho took a step closer, his voice softer now. “I’m trying to push you because I know how good you can be. I don’t want you to settle for anything less than your best. If I tease you, it’s because I care, not because I think you’re a joke.”

His words caught you off guard, and you felt your anger deflate slightly. “You… care?”

“Of course I care,” he said, his gaze steady. “You’re my best friend. And if I’ve been an ass about it, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was getting to you like this.”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten, and you looked away, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “It’s not just that,” you admitted quietly. “It’s… everything. I feel like I’m always trying to catch up to you, like I’ll never be on your level. And it’s exhausting.”

Jongho’s expression softened, and he reached out to gently tilt your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You’re already on my level, whether you see it or not. And for what it’s worth… I’ve always admired how hard you work. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

The warmth in his gaze made your breath hitch, and for a moment, you felt like the world had stopped. There was something different in the way he was looking at you now—something deeper, more intense.

“Jongho…” you started, but you didn’t know what to say.

He stepped even closer, his hand still resting lightly on your chin. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. You’re enough just as you are.”

The words were like a balm to your insecurities, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. Before you could overthink it, you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his chest.

He hesitated for only a moment before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. The steady beat of his heart against your ear was oddly soothing, and you let yourself relax into his embrace.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been too hard on you,” he murmured. “I just want you to see what I see.”

You pulled back slightly, looking up at him. “And what do you see?”

Jongho’s gaze flicked to your lips for the briefest moment before returning to your eyes. “Someone incredible,” he said simply.

The air between you was thick with unspoken tension, and for the first time, you didn’t shy away from it. You let yourself feel the weight of his words, the intensity of his gaze, and the steady warmth of his hands on your waist.

You weren’t sure who moved first, but before you knew it, your lips were brushing against his. It was tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but the moment he responded, the kiss deepened, growing more urgent and passionate.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together.

“Jongho,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “I’ve got you,” he said, his voice low and reassuring. “Trust me.”

And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could.

Jongho’s thumb lingered on your cheek, the touch searing into your skin, while his other hand slid with maddening ease to your waist, his fingers curling around you with a firm possessiveness that made your breath catch. The heat of his hands burned through the thin fabric separating you, and the way his eyes locked onto yours—dark, hungry, unrelenting—made the rest of the world fall away.

“You’re trembling,” he murmured, the rough timbre of his voice sending a delicious shiver down your spine. His lips tilted into a slow, knowing smirk. “Don’t tell me I make you nervous.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but the words died on your lips when he leaned in, his lips brushing over yours with a teasing lightness. “Come here,” he growled, his voice thick with command, leaving no room for argument.

When his mouth claimed yours again, it wasn’t gentle. It was consuming—deep, insistent, as though he were tasting something he’d craved for far too long. His hands tightened on your waist, tugging you against him as a soft gasp escaped you, only for him to swallow it with another hungry kiss.

He broke away just enough to breathe, his forehead pressing against yours as his thumb traced over your lower lip, swollen from his kisses. “Look at you,” he teased, his tone playful but laced with a dangerous edge. “So quiet now. Where’s all that attitude from earlier? You had so much to say before.”

The heat rushing to your face made your cheeks burn, but you forced yourself to glare at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you crumble. “I—I hate you,” you muttered, the stammer in your voice betraying your conviction.

A low, rich laugh rumbled from his chest as his grip on your waist shifted, his fingers skimming the curve of your hip. “Hate me?” he repeated, his lips brushing against the corner of your mouth in a featherlight tease. “Funny. Doesn’t feel like hate when you’re clinging to me like this.”

“I’m not—” you started, but his hands slid higher, his thumbs grazing the bare skin just beneath your ribs.

“Not what?” he cut in, his smirk widening. His voice dropped lower, the teasing note darkening into something more carnal. “Not shaking? Not holding onto me like I’m the only thing keeping you standing? Not pressing those pretty little legs together, trying to pretend I’m not getting to you?”

Your breath hitched sharply, and the way his gaze dipped to your thighs—still pressed tightly together—made your stomach twist in a way that was both mortifying and electrifying.

“Jongho,” you warned, though your voice came out more like a whimper than you’d have liked.

“Oh, don’t stop now,” he purred, leaning closer until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “You’re cute when you’re flustered. Almost makes me want to keep going. See how far I can push you before you beg me to stop—or beg me not to.”

“Y-You’re insufferable,” you bit out, your hands finding his chest as you tried to push him away.

But Jongho held his ground easily, his grip on your waist unrelenting. “And yet, you’re still here,” he murmured, his voice dripping with amusement as his hands flexed against your sides.

His words left you scrambling for control, but the way his hands moved—his thumbs brushing slow, lazy circles over your hips—was unraveling you with every passing second.

“You’re too cocky,” you managed to snap, though it came out breathier than you’d hoped.

“Too cocky?” he echoed, his brow quirking as his smirk deepened. He tilted his head, his lips barely grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear. “No. Not cocky. Just confident. Because I know exactly what I’m doing.”

The heat of his breath against your skin made your knees buckle slightly, and your hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt to keep yourself steady. He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through you in a way that made your stomach flip.

“You don’t have to hide it,” he said, pulling back enough to meet your gaze, his eyes softer now but no less intense. “You’re not used to this, are you?”

Your silence was answer enough, and his smile softened, though the teasing glint in his eyes remained. “You’ve never let anyone get this close before, have you?”

You hesitated, your throat tight as you finally shook your head. “No,” you whispered. “I haven’t.”

His grip on your waist tightened slightly, grounding you. “Good,” he said, his voice dipping low as he leaned in again, his lips brushing against your temple in a surprisingly gentle kiss. “That means I get to be your first.”

The way he said it—possessive, certain—made your heart stutter. You looked up at him, a flush spreading across your face, and he grinned, his confidence as intoxicating as it was infuriating.

“You’ve got me,” he said, his gaze flicking to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “And I’ve got you. So let’s not pretend you don’t want me to solve that little problem of yours.”

Your breath caught as his gaze flicked pointedly to your legs before returning to your face, his smirk widening at the way you squirmed.

“Jongho,” you choked out, your face burning, but he only laughed again, his fingers curling into your waist as he pulled you closer.

“Relax,” he murmured, his voice like velvet. “I’ve got all the time in the world. And I’m not going anywhere.”

The promise in his tone made your chest tighten, your nerves and anticipation tangling together into something you couldn’t quite name. Whatever was happening between you, one thing was clear—Jongho wasn’t about to let you run away from it. From him.

The air around you felt impossibly thick, every fiber of your being hyperaware of Jongho’s piercing gaze and the tantalizing weight of his hands on your waist. His question lingered between you, heavy with intent, and when you finally found your voice, it came out softer than you expected, almost a whisper.

“Your place,” you said, your cheeks burning at your own boldness.

Jongho’s grin widened, a mix of excitement and triumph flashing across his face. Without warning, his arms shifted, and he scooped you up with startling ease, your legs dangling as his strong grip supported your weight effortlessly.

“Jongho!” you squeaked, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck to steady yourself. “What are you doing?”

“Taking you to my place,” he said, his voice brimming with confidence and amusement. “You didn’t expect me to let you walk after saying something like that, did you?”

You gave him a halfhearted glare, though your lips betrayed you with a small smile. “I have legs, you know. Perfectly good ones.”

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk playful as he carried you toward his car. “Oh, I’m aware. But this is faster. Plus, I kind of like holding you like this.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue, secretly enjoying the way his strong arms felt around you. He set you down only when he reached his car, opening the door for you with an exaggerated flourish.

“Your chariot awaits,” he teased.

You climbed in, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, you’re still here,” he countered, flashing you a cheeky grin before closing the door and rounding the car to slide into the driver’s seat.

As he started the engine, the hum of the car barely masked the charged silence between you. Jongho’s right hand drifted to your thigh, his fingers splaying possessively over the fabric of your jeans. The touch was casual in a way that felt anything but casual, and the heat of his palm seared through the material, sending a shiver up your spine.

Your legs instinctively shifted, pressing together slightly, and Jongho let out a low chuckle, the sound warm and teasing.

“Something wrong?” he asked, his tone dripping with amusement.

“No,” you said quickly, though the way your voice wavered betrayed you.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed, clearly unconvinced. His thumb stroked a slow, deliberate circle against your thigh, and you bit your lip, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much his touch affected you.

Your resolve faltered, however, when your gaze darted to his lap. Your breath caught at the sight: the unmistakable outline of his arousal straining against his sweatpants, a bold and unapologetic testament to the effect you had on him.

Your eyes widened, and you quickly averted your gaze, your face burning as you looked out the window.

Jongho caught your reaction immediately and laughed, the sound rich and full of self-assurance. “See something you like?”

“Shut up,” you muttered, crossing your arms and pointedly refusing to look at him.

“You’re adorable,” he said, his tone warm and teasing as he pulled into his apartment building’s parking garage.

When he parked the car and stepped out, he walked around to your side, opening the door for you with a mischievous grin. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t be shy now.”

You rolled your eyes but let him help you out of the car, his hand lingering on your lower back as he guided you toward the elevator. The ride up was quiet but thick with anticipation, the air between you crackling with unspoken tension.

When the elevator doors opened to reveal his apartment, your breath caught. The space was sleek and modern, a small penthouse with floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a breathtaking view of the city skyline. The warm glow of the ambient lighting cast a soft, inviting hue over the stylish furniture and minimalist decor.

“Wow,” you said softly, stepping inside as Jongho closed the door behind you.

“Like it?” he asked, his voice low and smooth as he leaned against the door, his eyes never leaving you.

“It’s… beautiful,” you admitted, your gaze sweeping over the space before returning to him.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he said, his tone teasing but with a sincerity that made your cheeks heat.

You opened your mouth to retort, but before you could speak, Jongho took a step closer, his gaze darkening as he reached for you. His hands found your waist again, pulling you flush against him, and the intensity in his eyes made your breath hitch.

“Now,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear as his hands began to wander, “let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?”

Jongho’s fingers curled gently around your waist as he gazed down at you, the flickering tension between you growing heavier by the second. His lips quirked into a teasing smile, but his eyes were dark, brimming with intensity. Slowly, deliberately, he reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it over his head, discarding it on the nearby couch.

The sight made your breath hitch. You’d seen him shirtless before—during practices, workouts, even casual moments at the beach—but this was different. Under the warm lighting of his apartment, with the weight of his gaze on you and the air thick with unspoken promises, it felt different. It felt intimate. The sharp lines of his abs, the broad planes of his chest, the faint sheen of his skin—all of it made your pulse quicken and your stomach flip.

You gulped audibly, your throat dry as you struggled to find something—anything—to say.

Jongho noticed immediately, his smirk deepening. “Like what you see?” he teased, stepping closer, his confidence radiating off him in waves.

You rolled your eyes, trying to regain some composure. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“And yet, you can’t stop staring,” he countered, his voice low and warm as he reached for you again.

You huffed, but your resolve crumbled when he gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering for a moment before they drifted down, grazing the collar of your blouse. He hesitated, his dark eyes locking onto yours, silently asking for permission.

You nodded, barely able to muster the courage to meet his gaze.

Jongho’s hands moved with deliberate care, unbuttoning your blouse one piece at a time. The cool air brushed against your skin as the fabric fell away, leaving you standing there in nothing but your bra and jeans. His eyes traced every inch of you, his gaze appreciative but never lewd, and the weight of his attention made your skin burn.

“You’re stunning,” he said softly, his voice carrying none of the teasing from before.

Your cheeks flushed, and you looked away, mumbling, “Stop saying things like that.”

“I’m just telling the truth,” he replied, his hands moving to your waistband now. He paused again, waiting for your nod before he gently worked the denim down your legs, leaving you standing there in your underwear.

You felt vulnerable, exposed, but the way Jongho looked at you—like you were the only thing in the world that mattered—chased away any lingering insecurities.

“Your turn,” you said, your voice shaking slightly as you gestured to his sweatpants.

He chuckled but obliged, hooking his thumbs into the waistband and sliding them down in one smooth motion. Your eyes darted down briefly, catching a glimpse of the tight fabric of his boxers and the unmistakable evidence of his arousal straining against them.

You quickly looked away, your face burning as you muttered, “Jongho!”

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence as he stepped closer, his smirk returning. “You told me to take them off.”

“You’re impossible,” you groaned, trying to cover your face, but Jongho caught your wrists gently, pulling your hands away.

“Don’t hide from me,” he said softly, his tone shifting again to something more tender. “Not now.”

Before you could respond, he bent slightly, hooking one arm under your legs and the other around your back.

“Jongho, no!” you protested, squirming as he lifted you effortlessly into his arms.

“Yes,” he said with a grin, holding you securely against his chest. “I like carrying you. You should just get used to it.”

You huffed, crossing your arms as he carried you toward his bedroom, though you couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at your lips.

The bedroom was just as sleek and modern as the rest of his apartment, the neutral tones and soft lighting creating a cozy, intimate atmosphere. Jongho set you down gently on the edge of the bed, his hands lingering on your waist as he knelt slightly to meet your gaze.

“Comfortable?” he asked, his voice low and full of warmth.

You nodded, your heart racing as he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours in a kiss that promised so much more. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and for the first time, you felt ready to let go of your hesitation and trust him completely.

As he softly pushed you on your back and made you lay comfortably on the crisp, black linen, he leaned back and took in the sight.

Jongho's gaze lingered, a mix of admiration and unguarded desire as he took you in. His voice broke the charged silence, low and steady. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, the sincerity in his tone sending a warm flush across your skin.

Before you could find the words to respond, he moved, placing one knee on the bed beside you. His eyes flickered downward, catching the faint evidence of your arousal through the delicate fabric of your panties. A smirk curled at the corner of his lips, a combination of satisfaction and mischief playing on his face.

The boldness of his gaze sent a jolt of self-consciousness through you, and you instinctively brought your hands to cover yourself. “Don’t hide from me,” he murmured, his voice soft but firm as he gently pushed your hands aside.

Your breath hitched as his hands found your thighs, the warmth of his palms igniting your nerves. His touch was confident but patient, his fingers brushing over your skin in a way that left your mind spinning. When he tugged at your panties, you froze for a moment, caught between flustered shyness and the undeniable pull of trust and longing.

With one smooth motion, he slipped the fabric down, the cool air grazing your now bare skin. His eyes darkened as they roamed over you, his expression a mixture of awe and restraint. “Perfect,” he whispered, more to himself than to you, and you felt your cheeks burn under the weight of his attention.

Your heart pounded as his gaze returned to yours, the intensity making you feel as though he could see every vulnerable thought running through your mind. “I’ve got you,” he reassured, leaning in closer, his lips brushing against your knee as his hands caressed the sensitive skin of your thighs.

Jongho’s lips were soft against your skin, each kiss deliberate and slow, as though he were savoring every moment. When his lips reached your inner thighs, he paused, lifting his gaze to meet yours, seeking your reassurance. There was a quiet confidence in his eyes, but also a deep tenderness, as if he were attuned to every subtle shift in your body.

"Everything okay? Want me to.. go on?" he whispered, his voice barely above a breath, the question hanging between you two.

You nodded, your heart racing, feeling a warmth bloom in your chest. Without waiting for another word, his kisses deepened, trailing slowly toward your cunt. His lips moved with purpose, but not hurriedly—each press against your skin made your breath catch, your body shuddering in response. His hands glided up your thighs, fingers brushing with a tenderness that was almost too much to bear, yet every touch sent sparks through your entire being.

As his lips reached as close as possible to your folds, you couldn’t stop the way your body arched toward him, the quiet gasp escaping your lips. Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers threading through the soft strands, pulling him closer as though you couldn’t get enough of him, yet at the same time, you didn’t want him to rush.

Jongho didn’t hurry, though. His movements were measured, gentle but deliberate, as he worked his way deeper, tongue feeling and tasting every sweet spot of yours It made your pulse race. The weight of his attention—every brush of his tongue—was intoxicating, and the way his hands caressed your skin made you feel utterly consumed by the moment, the intensity building with every second.

Jongho’s hands gripped your hips gently but firmly, pulling you closer to him as his

lips and tongue deepened.

A soft moan escaped your lips, the heat building in your body as his motion of eating you out became more precise, more intentional. Every time he sucked on your clit, the pressure seemed to intensify, and your breath quickened, your body arching slightly, reacting to his touch in ways you hadn’t expected.

"Jongho..." you whispered, your voice a mixture of breathlessness and need, the feeling of his lips trailing against your skin making your belly tighten, your heart racing. "I-I’m close..."

His eyes flickered up at you, a silent reassurance in his gaze as he adjusted his position, his hands holding you closer still. He seemed to read the tension in your body, knowing exactly how to eat you out to push you further into the edge of your orgasm. You couldn’t contain the quiet gasps that escaped with every press of his lips against you.

The room felt charged, your body humming in tune with his, each movement from him sending you deeper into a state of blissful surrender. Your hands tightened against his shoulders, holding him close, as your body responded—heat pooling in your chest, your belly tightening, the anticipation growing within you.

Finally, your high washed over you, hard and overwhelming, a shudder running through you as you let go completely, a quiet whimper of satisfaction slipping past your lips. Jongho, his face still soft with the same tenderness, held you closely, as if to cradle you in that moment, his presence grounding you completely. His smile, slow and satisfied, told you that he, too, was content, savoring every second of the connection you shared.

Jongho’s fingers gently cupped your face, his gaze tender yet filled with a quiet intensity. He brushed a strand of hair from your forehead, his touch lingering on your skin, his eyes following the movement as if memorizing every detail of you.

“You’re amazing,” he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and desire. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so perfect.”

He leaned in just enough to press a soft kiss to your temple, his lips lingering as he breathed you in, savoring the feeling of being so close to you. His thumb traced along your jawline, the movement slow and deliberate, each touch sending a shiver of warmth through your body.

When he shifted slightly, his body hovering just above you, his hand went for his briefs, a small stain of precum visible on them. He took them off and then leaned against you. His chest brushed against yours, the contact enough to make your breath catch, a deep sense of longing and anticipation filling the space between you two.

Jongho looked down at you for a moment, his expression a mix of intensity and restraint. His hand gently cupped the back of your neck, and he whispered, his voice hushed but filled with raw emotion, “Are you sure you’re ready for this? We can take it slow if you need to.”

His gaze never left yours, his eyes soft with concern yet burning with a quiet intensity, as if seeking your reassurance before moving forward. You could feel the weight of his question hanging in the air, the tension between you thick and undeniable.

With a slight shift, he pulled back just enough to allow you a moment to decide. The room was thick with unspoken words, with trust and desire intertwining in a dance as old as time. Jongho’s hand rested gently on your hip, his fingers lightly tracing the curve of your waist, as though waiting for your answer—waiting for you to lead him, or guide him, in this shared moment of intimacy.

You didn't have enough confidence to answer to him verbally, but as you lowered yourself on the bed under him, squirming impatiently, he took the hint. But still, he didn't to nothing yet.

“Say it. Use your words, sweetie” he tapped you on your knee.

“Y-yes.. p-please, Jongho..” you said, voice barely above a whisper and breathy. He took that as a yes and leaned in, right hand resting on your hips and left hand lazily stroking his own cock before guiding it to your hole. He looked up at you again then inserted the tip in, your back arching softly.

He started to softly thrust at first, testing the waters. When he felt and also saw you get accustomed to his size, he became a little bit faster and more focused, hands holding yours above your head. He leaned in and as he thrusted into you, he let his forehead rest against yours.

The tension in the air was electric, each of Jongho's movements sending ripples through you, pushing you closer to the edge. Your breaths came in quick, uneven gasps, each one punctuated by a soft whimper or moan that seemed to fuel him further. His hands stayed steady on yours, grounding you even as your body arched beneath him, seeking release.

“That's it,” Jongho murmured, his voice rich with approval, the corners of his lips curling into a small smile as he watched you. “Let me hear you. Don’t hold back.”

The heat inside you reached its peak, and with one more motion, the second orgasm, more powerful, more intense, crashed over you. Your body trembled as you caught your high, a cry spilling from your lips, louder than you expected, raw and unrestrained. Jongho didn’t falter, his steady hold on you keeping you tethered to the moment as your breaths turned into soft, trembling gasps.

“There you go,” he whispered, his tone low and soothing as he guided you through it, his fingers tightening slightly on your waist to ground you. “So beautiful like this, letting yourself feel everything. I’m so proud of you.”

Your body shivered as the aftershocks rippled through you, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support. But just as you began to relax into the warmth of the moment, Jongho leaned closer, his forehead pressing gently against yours. His voice was soft but tinged with a teasing edge.

“Sweetheart,” he said, his lips brushing against your ear, “I haven’t caught mine yet.” His words were both playful and filled with a quiet intensity that sent another shiver down your spine.

“Can you handle a little more for me?” he asked, his voice low and coaxing as his hands shifted to hold you firmly in place.

Your eyes widened slightly, your body still sensitive, but you nodded, unable to form the words. A soft, breathy sound escaped you as he began to move again, his pace slow but deliberate, the overstimulation making you whimper softly with each motion.

“You’re so good for me,” Jongho murmured, his voice full of quiet praise as he kept his steady rhythm, watching you with an intensity that made your heart race. “Just a little more, okay? You’re doing so well.”

The overstimulation had you trembling beneath him, your hands clutching at his arms as you whimpered, the sound half protest and half surrender. Jongho’s gaze never left you, his brow furrowing slightly in concentration as his pace quickened just enough to push himself closer to his high.

When he finally reached his orgasm, a low, satisfied groan rumbled from his chest, his grip on you tightening briefly before he stilled, his breaths coming in deep, steadying exhales. His hands loosened their hold, smoothing over your hips and waist in soothing strokes as he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“You were perfect,” he murmured, his voice warm and full of praise as he shifted slightly to let you rest more comfortably beneath him. “Thank you for trusting me. Are you okay?”

His hands cradled your face as he looked down at you, his expression soft and full of care, waiting for your response. Even in the aftermath, his priority was you—ensuring you felt safe, cherished, and wholly understood.

“Yes..” you answered his question, head dizzy and body tired from all the motion.

“Was I good enough to you?” he continued, lying besides you and holding you close.

“Oh Jongho.. of course” you smiled at him, your answer bringing a smirk of satisfaction on his face.

His smirk softened into something tender as he reached up to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his thumb grazing your cheek with a touch so light it felt like a whisper. The room was quiet now, the air warm and heavy with the comfort of shared intimacy. He drew you closer, tucking your head beneath his chin as his arms enveloped you, strong and steady.

“Rest now,” he murmured, his voice a soothing lullaby as he traced lazy circles along your back. You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, its steady rhythm grounding you, anchoring you to the present moment.

NETWORKS:

@blossomnet

@illusionnet

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

[mae-lou-ron]

For Granted

Summary: Your beloved Gregor returns from a weeks-long mission for the clone underground, and after a long night filled with debriefings, he can’t wait to show you just how much he missed you while he was gone.

Pairing: Captain Gregor x f!reader

Warnings: 🚨 NSFW - SMUT AHEAD 🚨, 18+ MDNI, explicit sexual content and language, established relationship, mutual pining, cockwarming, unprotected PiV, edging, delayed orgasm, praise, soft!Dom Gregor, pleasure!dom Gregor?, oodles of fluff, Gregor can't keep his eyes (or hands) off you, color system safe words (only green used), aftercare, this is what I call a plot/smut/plot sandwich.

Word Count: 4,700

A/N: GOBBLE GOBBLE GREGOR GIRLIES. Happy to report I am posting this way earlier than I thought would be possible. (I finally did it @jetii, @captn-trex @lonewolflupe— again thank you for your constant inspiration and encouragement) This is the first smut I’ve ever posted and I guess decided to just go for it. I don’t know what to tell you, I just feel like Gregor would be such a soft and needy little pleasure dom. Okay, bone apple tea my fellow feral goblins. DO NOT PERCEIVE ME.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late—very late.

The away team shuttle had touched down hours ago, but before you could greet Gregor properly, Rex had swooped in and intercepted him before he even made it down the gangplank. Their mission to the ruins of Tipoca City had proven successful, and Rex wanted to know everything.

For nearly two weeks, they dove beneath the old cloning facility's wreckage, searching the depths for anything that survived the orbital bombardment—especially for anything that could help them better understand the inhibitor chips. As you observed him from across the holotable, you noted the exhaustion that marked your beloved's features. His bloodshot eyes had dark circles beneath them, and though he tried his best to stay alert and focused, the weariness was clearly setting in. Yet, despite his current state, Gregor's gaze kept finding its way back to you, his lips curving into a small smile whenever your eyes met.

You listened and updated the data banks while Rex thoroughly questioned Gregor and his team about their operation. When Rex was finally satisfied with what was recovered, the meeting adjourned. As you gathered your things, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Gregor, hoping this was finally the moment for your long-awaited reunion—but he remained deep in conversation with Rex, their heads bent together. You sighed inwardly but couldn't help glowing with admiration for him.

He was probably the most lighthearted of his brothers, but Gregor showed unwavering dedication to his work—particularly when it involved Rex. After all, Rex had orchestrated Gregor's rescue from the Empire by sending the Bad Batch to extract him, saving Gregor from the Empire's grim plans for clone troopers like himself.

Rex's relentless pursuit to understand and neutralize the inhibitor chips strengthened Gregor's dedication to the mission. For Gregor, helping Rex wasn't just about loyalty—it was about preventing other clones from enduring the same fate. This devotion extended to everyone Gregor held dear, including you. He had become not only your lover but your best friend and closest ally in the growing clone rebellion. You had become one of the few anchors in each other’s lives that had been plagued with uncertainty.

From your first meeting, you were irresistibly drawn to him—and he made no effort to hide his magnetic attraction to you. Even now, his keen eyes would seek you out first whenever he entered a room. True to form, Gregor's gaze shifted to you over Rex's shoulder again, silently expressing his longing to be near you after so many days apart. You caught his eye and flashed a playful smirk, pressing a fingertip to your lips before extending it toward him. He would always wink in return. Though your relationship was no longer a secret, you both treasured this little ritual—a wordless exchange of adoration between the two of you.

Back in your quarters, you changed into your sleep clothes and settled into bed. Propped against pillows with your data pad in hand, you intended to review the new data decryptions while waiting for Gregor's return, hoping he might have more enticing ways to keep you awake. But the warmth of your bed and the quiet hum of recycled air lulled you to sleep with surprising swiftness. Your eyes grew heavy, thoughts of him blurred behind your lids until you drifted off.

A short while later, you stirred from a light sleep when you felt the bed dip. With gentle hands, Gregor retrieved your fallen data pad and slid under the covers behind you. His strong arms enveloped you, drawing you against his chest.

"Stars, I've missed you, my darling," Gregor sighed into the space between you. Your eyes fluttered open as his lips pressed into the back of your shoulder, sending a thrill down your spine.

The familiar spicy scent of him filled your nose—he must have hit the fresher before coming to bed. You hummed contentedly and turned within his arms to face him, your lips curling into a sleepy smile. "Missed you too," you murmured.

Gregor's tired eyes were filled with warmth and adoration in the dim light. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. "Sorry I'm late..."

"S'okay," you leaned into his touch. "You're here now, and at least I know you're not just another dream," you said into his chest as you yawned.

Gregor's heart thrummed at your words. The thought of you dreaming about him stoked the ever-present desire he seemed to hold for you. "How's the burn?" he asked instead, softly moving his hand down, fingertips skimming over the fresh scars on your hip.

"All healed now. Rex was right, of course," you grumbled. The former captain had benched you from field work due to the blaster fire that grazed you on your last mission. Though you'd insisted it was healed enough, Rex wouldn't budge. You knew he was right, but being sidelined grated your nerves— especially since it was your intel they were operating on.

"You really scared me for a minute there, you know," Gregor whispered, his voice lilted with emotion as his fingers traced the newly healed scar.

You kissed the tip of his nose and gave him a knowing smile. "You should know better than anyone, love. It takes more than that to keep someone down," you murmured, covering his hand with your fingertips. A pitchy chuckle escaped him as he pressed his forehead to yours, recognizing the echo of his own resilient spirit in your words. But his face fell incrementally as he found his next words.

"I still wish you could have been there, on Kamino," he confessed, his voice solemn. He didn’t have to say anything, but you knew how strange returning to Kamino was going to be for him. He had his brothers with him, but you’d hoped to be there for him too.

"You just wanted a chance to see me in my swimming gear," you quipped instead.

Gregor's eyes sparkled as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth with a quiet rumble. "Can you blame me? Thinking of you in any state of undress was all I had to keep me sane out there," his words and lips danced against your cheek.

You squirmed in his embrace as his hand trailed up and down your body, fingertips once again sweeping over the swell of your hip. "But I always love seeing my cyare like this…" he added, his warm hand giving you a playful squeeze, referring to the teeny tiny shorts you often wore around your shared quarters, just for him.

“Oh? And why is that?” You said with a raised eyebrow, feigning ignorance at how his eyes would habitually follow you around whenever you wore them. Not to mention the mischief he would promise when he saw you wearing any of his clothing, and tonight you had grabbed one of his shirts to sleep in.

“Because it’s what you’re comfortable in,” he sighed contentedly as his fingers slipped under the hem, grazing the soft skin at the small of your back.

Being under his focus with such reverence made your heart pound in your ears, his magnetic touch constantly drawing you in. Your fingers traced the line of his jaw. "Will you just kiss me, already?" you whispered, forgetting your teasing.

Gregor hummed as his lips met yours, sweet and gentle, his hands rediscovering every curve and contour. You melted into his radiating warmth, the steady rhythm of his heart. When you nibbled his bottom lip, it earned you a deep moan and a roll of his body against yours. Your fingers wove through his damp hair, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, his tongue moving softly against yours.

Your lips danced together in a sensual rhythm, exploring and tasting with unhurried devotion as his fingers threaded through your hair, cradling the back of your head. Each sweep of his tongue against yours sent shivers down your spine, the kiss deepening with an intensity that made your toes curl and your heart race. Through every tender touch, he conveyed how deeply he'd missed you, and a familiar heat had bloomed between you fueled by days of delayed desire. The warmth of it coursed through your veins, spurring you on.

Eager to feel his skin against yours, you tugged off your shirt and pushed at his. Gregor chuckled softly and obliged, pulling off his shirt with deliberate slowness before tossing it aside. Under your fingertips, his body felt electric as you traced the familiar scars adorning his soft, golden skin. A shiver ran through him at your touch, and he groaned when your lips found his shoulder.

"Darling, I need you…" he purred, his thumbs hooking into the waistband of your shorts. His voice dropped lower, thick with desire. He paused, eyes intense and yearning as they locked with yours. "I've thought of you every night. Your kiss, your smile, the sounds you make for me." His fingers gripped your hips possessively, sure to leave marks. "Tell me, meshla," he breathed. "Did you think of me too?"

You let out a soft whine, your head falling against his chest as a breathy "Yes," escaped your swollen lips.

"Tell me..." he implored, his body rolling into yours once more. "Did I hear you say you dreamt of me?"

"Of course I did," you confessed softly, leaning close. Your lips brushed against the shell of his ear as intimate desires and details of your self-indulgent dreams tumbled from your lips. Gregor shivered, your warm breath tickling his skin. His fingers flexed as he strained to catch every hushed syllable. These whispered words were for him alone.

His chest rumbled with a deep, guttural sound. "Cyare," he whispered, the word dripping with honey.

You lifted your hips as he slid your shorts down your legs. Once free, he swooped in to kiss you again, this time with more fervor as his hands roamed your newly exposed skin. He swallowed the soft gasp that escaped your lips when his fingers dipped between your legs, growling appreciatively at how ready you were for him.

You whined at his touch, your fingertips curling around the base of his neck. Gregor sighed, his breath hot against your shoulder as he trailed kisses down to your collarbone. You heard him chuckling quietly as his fingers teased your sensitive flesh. "…and I’ve barely touched you yet,” he teased.

You huffed in response and started pushing his shorts over his hips, firmly grasping a handful of his taught backside in the process causing him to hoot and giggle softly. "I told you what I’ve been thinking about… come here…" you begged, your voice barely above a whisper. Once free of his own clothing, you hooked your leg around his waist, drawing him to you. Gregor hissed at the contact, his hips instinctively rocking against yours. You felt the head of his length glide along your entrance and up to your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to your core.

Gregor let out a deep hum, gathering his self control. "I can't say no to you," he grunted, slowly sliding his length back up and down a few times before notching at your entrance. His lips met your forehead as he eased into you. You bit your lip as your body welcomed him, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden fullness. Despite the delicious sting of him at first, you craved him—eager for more, for all of him. But Gregor picked up on your body’s signal and paused. His head came back to regard you, eyes filled with concern and love.

"Cyar'ika," he whispered tenderly. His thumb traced your cheek and trailed down to your lips. You smirked, drawing the digit into your mouth with a soft moan, swirling your tongue around it. Gregor's eyes locked onto yours, awestruck at the sensation. "That's it…good girl," he purred, the wolfish smile that followed his praise sent a shiver down your spine. He withdrew his thumb from your mouth with a quiet pop, and brought it between your bodies, using the wetness to circle your clit.

Your body quivered, soft moans and whimpers escaping your lips as he continued his feather light touches, sending more of that delicious heat coursing through you. Your walls fluttered with pleasure, silently urging him to fully sheath himself within you. As his hips finally met yours, you both exhaled deeply, savoring the intense connection of being completely joined together.

"Let’s stay like this for a little while, hm?," he murmured against your hairline between soft kisses. "I just want you close," he breathed, his hand trailing tenderly along your spine.

You hummed in confirmation, melting into his affection. "I love you," you sighed, fingers combing through his hair. Your bodies fit together perfectly, hearts beating as one, breaths mingling in gentle pants. Being with Gregor, it never felt like enough—you both craved an impossible closeness. These tender moments were precious, when he held you like this, driven by his pure need to feel you around him, to eliminate any space between you.

"And I love you." Gregor's kiss was so tender it made your head swim. His lips traced reverently across your skin, each caress a silent vow, his heart full at how perfectly you melded together. When the kisses and touches naturally grew more heated, you felt him stir within you as your bodies instinctively began to move. With gentle purpose, Gregor rolled you, pressing your back into the mattress and caging you in with his large frame. His lips found that spot on your neck as he began a slow, intense rhythm that drew a litany of soft moans and whimpers from you. Your nails trailed down Gregor's back as he pressed against that sweet spot deep inside you. He dragged his length almost completely out before thrusting back in, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"Stars… cyar’ika, you…" he panted, his movements becoming more deliberate. You wrapped your legs around him fully, urging him deeper, whimpering in is ear to do it again. The tension between you reached its peak all too quickly, weeks of anticipation setting your every nerve ending on fire. Gregor murmured sweet praises against your skin, intent on bringing you there together. You teetered on the edge, your body trembling with each slow thrust. "Gregor," you breathed in a desperate plea. "I'm..."

“I know,” he grunted. “I’ve got you…” He gentled his movements to a pace he knew would send you over. He felt your entire body tense, arching into him as your climax struck you with a sudden intensity. A shuddering moan escaped you as your hand in his hair tightened, tugging at the strands. He couldn't hold back any longer—the way your walls fluttered around him, squeezing him so tightly, your grip in his hair, the sounds you were making—it was all too much, and he gladly fell over the edge with you.

His hips jerked as he moaned your name, pressing flush against yours as he found his release inside you. You held him close while you both trembled and panted through waves of pleasure. His hips rolled gently against yours through the aftershocks. As the hazy bliss settled over you both, Gregor began dotting your face and neck with tender kisses.

“Gregor…” you protested lazily, lips curling in a fond smile. He always melted into his softest self in the afterglow.

He chuckled quietly, nuzzling your neck. "What? You know I can’t ever get enough of you…" His lips brushed against your skin, making you tremble slightly. You were grinning ear to ear now, despite your half-hearted protest.

“That makes two of us,” you said huskily, floating down from your high.

You lay tangled together in peaceful silence, your breathing and heartbeats gradually returning to normal. The gentle rise and fall of his chest against yours created a soothing rhythm that made you feel completely at ease. A while later, when your combined arousal began to slip down your thigh, Gregor shifted, preparing to retrieve something to clean you both up.

“Don't you dare," you warned teasingly, tightening your entire body around him, making his breath hitch.

“Cyar’ika…” he said in a low, playful voice, twitching inside you. “Careful now…”

You smirked, loving the way his voice dropped an octave. "Or what?" you challenged, your eyes gleaming with mischief.

Gregor chuckled, a predatory grin spreading across his face. "Oh, my darling," he chuckled lightly, his hand sliding down your body and gripping your ass, making you burst into giggles, "You love playing with fire, don’t you,"

"Mmm, I do when it encourages you to ravish me all night, love," you said with a dramatic flair, unable to hide the mirth from your voice, reminding you of the intimacy you’ve built with Gregor. It was fiery and magnetic, but always fun. You loved to push each other’s buttons to see how far you could go. After all, you cherished these quiet moments together when there was no need to rush.

Gregor groaned at your words, his grip on you intensifying. "Oh, you're in for it now," he rasped as he swiftly rolled onto his back, pulling you over with him to straddle his hips. He sat upright and curled his hand around the base of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. The sound that escaped you at this new angle was absolutely sinful, making him twitch inside you once again. He immediately began a gentle pace, guiding your hips into his shallow thrusts. You gripped his shoulders tightly, seeking an anchor amid the electricity firing deep within you. Your oversensitive bundle of nerves dragged against the base of his length, making you grind down on him more desperately.

Sensing your growing urgency, Gregor gently slowed your movements. His hands caressed your sides soothingly as he looked up at you with adoration. "Shhh cyar'ika, look at me…" he murmured, his voice low and tender. Your eyes fluttered open to gaze into his, dark and warm and focused on you. "I know, it feels so good." His voice strained, thumbs traced circles on your hips as he guided you back into that slower, more deliberate rhythm Gregor loved to torture you with. You whimpered at the change of pace, but soon found yourself melting into the languid, sensual motion. Gregor's eyes never left your face, enjoying watching you give in. "That's it, just feel," he whispered. "There’s no rush. I’ve got you…"

Gregor's movements periodically slowed to a halt, prolonging the intense pleasure building between you. Each time, he held you close, guiding you both toward that long-awaited peak. His arm snaked beneath you, holding you to him with effortless strength, preventing you from taking him completely. He knew exactly how much to give, bringing you to the edge over and over. He savored the sounds you made during the slow, frustrating dance, careful not to overstimulate as he kept you balanced on the knife's edge.

Your body trembled, every nerve ending alive and hypersensitive, your breaths came in short, desperate moans. You clung to him, nails digging into his back and his scalp as you fought against the overwhelming urge to let go, somewhere between savoring every exquisite moment of him inside you and every cell in your body screaming for release. Gregor felt your body go rigid and quiver, he glanced down noticing how tightly your toes were curled, then up to your eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

"Cyar'ika, what's your color?" he managed to say through the haze. He himself was hanging by a thread.

"Green," you groaned gently. "Please, I need..."

Gregor's eyes snapped open at your words, his grip on you stuttering. "Tell me what you need," he nearly growled. "I need to hear you say it, cyar'ika."

“Please...” you breathed. “I need to come."

With a low groan of approval, Gregor knew he’d pushed you to a new limit, and captured your lips in a soft kiss, slowly lowering you down fully onto his length once more. "Then come for me, my love, let go…" he murmured against your lips as he loosened his hold on you incrementally, encouraging you to writhe against him at your own pace. He swallowed the moans that escaped your throat as you did so, your fingers tangling in his hair again as you finally let yourself go.

He held you to him as your body shook, waves of ecstasy sweeping through you, your inner walls pulsing wildly around Gregor's length. He buried his face in your shoulder, his own climax following yours as he thrust himself deep inside with a low, guttural sound. You clung to each other, riding out the lingering tremors, your core gradually relaxing its grip on him. Hearts raced and chests heaved as you both savored the moment. With one more gentle rock of his hips, he pulled you down, creating a delicious pressure that sent one final, intense ripple of pleasure coursing through you, reducing whatever composure you had left and turning you into a whimpering mess.

“Thats it,” he soothed as you collapsed against him, head lolling forward as he secured you against his broad chest. You hummed contentedly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck as your breathing slowly steadied. Gregor's fingers continued their gentle caress along your skin, calming your tense muscles and fluttering heart.

“You did so well,” he praised. “We haven’t gone that long before,” he grinned at you, giggling softly, a sheen of sweat on his skin.

You chuckled softly, feeling an ache in your hips and knees. "Mmm, I think we both needed that," you murmured, wincing slightly as you shifted your legs around his frame.

“Here, I’ve got you,” he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips as he helped you shift positions, knowing your joints sometimes didn’t love it as much as you did.

His strong arms cradled you as he maneuvered you off him, finally slipping out and eliciting a soft sigh from you. He bit his lip, barely suppressing a groan as he glanced at the evidence of your passion. Once you were settled, he quickly jumped out of bed and disappeared into the fresher, returning moments later with a warm cloth.

His fingertips trailed up the outside of your knee, reminding you he was still there. You smiled and opened up for him to gently clean you up. His touch was tender as he took care of both of you. Once finished, he tossed the towel aside and crawled back onto the bed and got to work on massaging the soreness from your legs.

You sighed contentedly as Gregor's skilled hands worked out the tension in your joints. "You're too good to me," you murmured sleepily. He responded with a soft chuckle, his touch gentle yet firm as he eased away any lingering discomfort. “Love, I know you’re exhausted, come here…”

He chuckled and planted tender kisses on each knee before settling beside you, drawing you close against his chest. You nestled into his warmth, savoring the lazy patterns he traced on your back with his fingertips.

You tilted your head up to press a gentle kiss beneath his chin, savoring the closeness. “I’m so happy you’re home…”

Gregor sighed contentedly. “Me too.”

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should bring up his time on Kamino. The topic always felt delicate, and you didn't want to stir up difficult memories. But his peaceful expression gave you courage.

“How was it being back there?" you asked softly.

“Well, the first few days were…strange, but not in the way I thought they would be,” he confessed quietly.

“How so?” You pressed a chaste kiss to the side of his neck, absentmindedly inhaling his scent.

“Some clones considered Kamino their home, but I’ve never really felt more at home than I do here. With the underground. With you.” His voice stuttered on the last few words.

You felt your heart swell, and you pulled him closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Good, because I feel the same way…”

Gregor's arm tightened around you, and you felt him release another contented sigh against your hair. In this moment, everything felt exactly as it should be - no missions, no war, just the two of you finding solace in each other's arms. You held one another close, happy to be back in one another’s orbit.

"Darling..." Gregor's voice took on a somber tone as he tightened his arms around you. "I received new orders from Rex tonight." He paused as you tilted your head back to look at him, his expression serious. You felt your body tense, preparing for the worst. "And, well, it’s not just that," he continued, his lips curving into a frown.

“What is it?” your hand brushed his disheveled hair out of his eyes, your heart clenching at the thought of him being gone again so soon, without you. Rex had yet to clear you for your injury, and you felt your stomach drop at the thought of being left behind on base again for another mission.

Gregor took a deep breath, as if to steady himself. "I know it's short notice, but... I told Rex you’d have no problem shipping out by midday tomorrow..." He gazed at you intently, his trademark mischievous smirk betraying his attempt at a somber expression. He was a terrible liar.

Your eyebrows shot up at the realization.

Now his face was in a full grin. "Mhm...you’re coming with." He quipped. “Though I’m sure Rex wouldn’t mind if you wanted to stay behi—”

“No!” you trilled, propping yourself up onto your elbow. “I’m ready,” you insisted.

“You don’t even know what the mission is yet, love,” he chuckled, it was hard to resist mirroring your excitement.

“I don’t care,” you sighed. “I’ve been cooped up…it’s boring when everyone is gone,” you groaned.

“Don’t you mean it’s boring when I’m gone?” Gregor teased.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide your smile. "Maybe," you admitted, snuggling back into him. "But don't let it go to your head." Your fingers traced lazy patterns on his chest as you soaked up the warmth of his presence, grateful to soon be back to doing what you do best.

Gregor laughed softly, his chest rumbling beneath your fingertips. "Have we met?," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. As you lay there, wrapped in each other's embrace, a sleepy silence settled over you both. The anticipation of being briefed for tomorrow's mission hummed just beneath the surface, but for now, you were content to simply exist in this moment.

“You’re a terrible liar, by the way…” you said as you curled into him. He just chuckled softly as you let your eyes close, feeling the tendrils of sleep start to curl around you.

Soon, the familiar weight of Gregor's body and gentle rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a peaceful state. His fingers continued their soothing caress along your back, growing slower and more languid as sleep began to claim him too. The last thing you remembered before surrendering was the gentle press of Gregor's lips against your forehead and his whispered "Ner cyare..." You mumbled a sleepy response, already half-lost to dreams of tomorrow's adventures.

[forestfrolickingfairy78]

Request: LU: Legend realising Time is the Hero before him

Artwork credits go to Jojo

I really hope you like it! I tried to write this as best as I could, I enjoyed writing this scene a lot, let me know what you think! Albeit did make me want to cry. Very much. I wish him happiness.

Legend knew the colour of death.

Before meeting his brothers, whether they’d agreed to be from blood or spirit the memories he kept of the people he loved were a testament to the fear of losing what he could recall of them. It started with the voice of his uncle, that day when all he had left to hold onto was the last words that couldn’t trace back to anything. The people he’d met on the path contorted by the fate to keep sealing and saving the world around him. The most heartache was the disillusion of the girl by the sea, finding himself exhausted by another cursed Odyssey. When she held him, gentle and sweet as the water he thought for a moment there was some reprieve in this constant manoeuvring, but it all it left him with was the blank canvas of a water-coloured painting, faded into a dream.

 It was cruel, how much his life had been pupeetered between this illusion of joy, plotted by the stroke of darkness while getting famished on the sweetness of a fleeting life. He didn’t have anything left of Marin, but he always possessed the power to travel between darkness.

The other heroes wondered why he’d always remark with spite, always shutting down the chance to find comfort in each other’s presence. Afterall, they were bound by this cycle of violence, pulled away from any chance to lead life normally. He envied them in some way or another, and the day the Hero of Time had led them into their home he found himself aching for what they had. A quiet and red envy grew as he watched them embrace each other,  speaking about what their future would be like when his had been stolen from him.

At least they all had someone, didn’t they?

Now underneath the red sky, peeling skin of flames bled another evil, testing their strengths. Legend looked up at the darkness, charcoal horizon swallowing their sights. They were outnumbered now, struggling to hold onto the sword. Sky felt his fingers weave from underneath the sword, glimmering a hopeful blue, but it wasn’t enough.

Legend tasted blood, wiping his mouth and tried to feign strength towards the monsters. Lizalfos, Skeletal bodies circling them without eyes, teasing their fall. What use was he without them? He knew he wasn’t weak, but he couldn’t ever be as strong as them, let alone the old man still holding up. His sword clashed aggressively against the beady eyed monster, breathless.

He looked over his shoulder, yelling at the younger one.

“Get up, you’re the only one who can save us!” A hard kick managed to knock over the enemy, but slowly, he was falling to his knees.

Legend didn’t think he would witness a sight like that, dragging himself forward. This was the only way he’d manage to fight, a hot flame of anger pushing strength, but today he couldn’t evoke that.

“Legend, get up!” He heard the old man before him, leaning over his sword, opening his eyes to the redness.

“I’m sorry…I’m tired.” The older hero had heard his quips, his quiet anger but never this genuine exhaustion. They were all so tired.

Time leant down to him, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“Veteran-“ he paused, unsure what words to comfort him. In his eyes he saw the maelstrom of an ocean, threatening to spill. Behind those tempered words he could see the reflection of himself, young and afraid.

“I know, I need to keep going. I know!” Legend hated how his voice betrayed him, unable to steel his tone any longer. His hands tried to grip the sheathe, lacking power.

“I’m with you, you’re not alone.” Time wasn’t sure how to help, he’d respected the younger hero’s space, and in a way maintained it. If he had known that he was the hero who had caused his world’s darkness, it would shatter him. Legend tried to breathe, coughing from the smoke and fire.

“I know you’re there for me, and everyone. But I didn’t want to get close, not when it’s always ended in people, I love getting taken away from me.” Legend wiped his face, salt tears tracing down his skin, chaffing his skin. He felt foolish letting himself cry.

Time looked towards the Monsters, slowly heaving themselves up from the temporary death. It was how it would always be.

“That’s a sentiment we share.” Time spoke, closing his eyes for a moment. He let the words sink, when he’d first said that to Malon. When he’d promised himself at Legend’s age. It was how they kept their hearts safe, and again it was reflected in the hero that suffered because of him.

Time faced him, letting himself sigh.

“I’m sorry, you deserve better than this.” What he understood was the current moment, unfolding like another apocalypse. You’d think after a dozen choked skies, you’d get used to the colour it bore, but the silence only thickened.

“Why are you apologising? We’re all suffering.” Time didn’t speak, feeling the burden grow like a shadow between them.

“What is it?” Legend tried to find the older man’s gaze, but he would not look at him, slowly turning away his heel.

“For not letting you have the life, you deserved.” He left the words to manifest their meaning, but Legend realised it quickly. A churn in his gut slowly understanding the grief in his voice, a grief that he would inherit.

[adoresia]

── .✦ HOLLOW WALLS

⌗ Contents ★ deceased!femreader x mourning!Choso kamo

⌗ Synopsis ★ After losing the love of his life, Choso is left alone in the home they built together, surrounded by memories he can’t escape. Struggling to cope with the overwhelming silence, he’s forced to confront the depth of his grief and the love he can never let go.

⌗ CW ★ Grief and Loss, the emotional aftermath of losing a loved one, Depictions of hopelessness and emotional numbness, Emotional Breakdown: Intense scenes of crying and mourning, Themes of loneliness and struggling to cope, Mention of Death, Implied loss of a partner.

⌗ Sia here! ★ This was ready and scheduled for yesterday but like tumblr wanted to be a hater and saved you guys from some very sad Choso angst (AGAIN) you will take the angst. And you will enjoy it. 😋 I’m always posting before bed so after this is posted I’ll probably be asleep even though I had a very very long nap after school today I shall be sleeping again and I’ll never ever get tired of it���. OKAY ENJOY GUYS haagahahaha ahahahahhs (I’m laughing because you won’t be enjoying this, call me gege atp)

Choso sat on the edge of the bed you once shared, his hands hanging limply between his knees. The room was suffocating, heavy with a silence that seemed to mock him. Each creak of the floorboards, every faint groan of the walls, carried with it a memory of you. Memories that pressed against his chest until he could barely breathe. The bedroom was frozen in time, untouched since the day you were gone. Your favorite blanket still draped across the armchair in the corner, the faintest trace of your shampoo lingering on the pillowcase. He couldn’t bring himself to move any of it. To do so felt like erasing you.

The clock on the nightstand ticked loudly, breaking the silence like a cruel metronome marking time he no longer cared to measure. Days bled into nights here. Without you, there was no rhythm, no reason. He clenched his fists, nails biting into his palms, as his gaze fell on the photograph sitting on the dresser. You were smiling in it, your arm around him, your eyes bright with life. He remembered how your laugh had burst out when he grumbled about how awkward he looked in photos. You’d kissed his cheek right after the picture was taken, telling him he was perfect just the way he was. Now, he couldn’t look at that photo without feeling like a knife was twisting in his gut. Choso hated being here. The home you had built together, the space that once radiated warmth and love, was now a mausoleum of memories. He had tried to stay out as much as possible—working late, wandering the streets aimlessly—but eventually, he always had to come back. Back to the house that still smelled like you, sounded like you, felt like you.

He swallowed hard, his throat tight and dry. His body felt heavy as he sank down onto the floor, leaning back against the bed frame. His trembling fingers ran over the edge of the blanket draped on the armchair, remembering the way you’d wrap yourself in it and curl into his arms. “I miss you,” he choked out, his voice breaking. The tears came fast, unrelenting. He covered his face with his hands, but it did nothing to muffle the sobs that racked his body. He cried until his chest ached, until his breath came in gasping shudders. “I love you,” he whispered into the hollow stillness, his voice barely audible over the sound of his own grief. “I love you so much… I don’t know how to do this without you.” His words dissolved into the quiet, swallowed by the emptiness of the room. Choso crumpled onto the floor, his tears soaking the carpet, his shoulders shaking violently. There was no one to comfort him now, no hand to rub soothing circles on his back, no voice to tell him it would all be okay.

The house remained silent, offering no solace. Only echoes of what used to be.

© All rights reserved to @/adoresia on tumblr.

Please do not copy, translate or repost my work on any other platforms.

▬▬ι═══════

[bandsofmarv]

can you do a steve smut enemies to lovers related?

Thank you for the request! I actually had one ready to post this evening! Here we go :)

Bitter edges of Steve

After a disastrous mission Steve and you finally confront the tension between each other.

TW- not really any, slight smut, angst.

The door slammed shut behind you, rattling the rusted hinges. You barely had time to take a breath before Steve Rogers stormed in after you, his boots heavy on the concrete floor. His face was a mask of barely contained rage, his blue eyes sharp enough to cut.

“What the hell was that?” he snapped, his voice low and dangerous, the kind of tone that made lesser men cower. But not you.

You turned to face him, matching his glare with one of your own. “It was me getting the job done, Rogers. Someone had to, and you sure as hell weren’t stepping up.”

His laugh was cold, humorless. “Stepping up? You mean disobeying orders, blowing our cover, and nearly getting yourself killed? That’s what you call stepping up?”

“You hesitated,” you shot back, refusing to back down even as he advanced toward you. “You always hesitate. I did what had to be done, and you’re pissed because you didn’t get to play the hero this time.”

He closed the distance between you in a flash, his jaw tight and his fists clenched at his sides. “You think this is about my ego?” he snarled, his voice dripping with contempt. “This is about you being a reckless, insufferable pain in my ass who can’t follow orders to save their life.”

“I don’t follow your orders,” you spat, stepping closer to him despite the warning in his eyes. “And I’m not your responsibility, so stop acting like you care.”

He barked out a sharp, bitter laugh, his head shaking as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Care? You think I care about you?” His words were a knife to the gut, sharp and cruel. “You’re nothing but a liability. A thorn in my side I should’ve dealt with a long time ago.”

The venom in his voice made your chest ache, but you refused to let him see it. You squared your shoulders, meeting his fury with your own. “Then why don’t you?” you challenged, your voice shaking with barely restrained anger. “Why don’t you deal with me, Steve? Why do you keep coming after me, cleaning up my messes? If I’m such a liability, why the hell are you still here?”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his chest rising and falling with the force of his breathing. Then, without warning, he grabbed your arm and yanked you forward, his face inches from yours.

“You want to know why?” he growled, his voice low and rough. “Because you drive me insane. Because every time I look at you, I want to throw you against a wall and—” He stopped himself, his jaw clenching as he tried to rein in his temper.

“Do it,” you whispered, your voice trembling, though not from fear.

His eyes darkened, his grip on your arm tightening. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”

“Don’t I?” you shot back, your breath hitching as his body pressed against yours, backing you into the wall.

For a second, you thought he might actually walk away, leave you there to stew in the silence. But then his lips crashed against yours, rough and demanding, his hands gripping your waist with bruising force. The kiss was a battle—hot, messy, and unrelenting, years of pent-up frustration and anger spilling out all at once.

“Still think I don’t care?” he muttered against your lips, his voice a dangerous growl.

You didn’t answer. Instead, you kissed him back just as fiercely, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. His hands roamed your body, possessive and unyielding, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

When he pulled back, his eyes burned into yours, a mixture of anger and something darker, something that made your knees weak. “You make me crazy,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You make me want things I shouldn’t want, make me feel things I shouldn’t feel. I hate it. I hate you.”

“Good,” you breathed, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Because I hate you too.”

His lips curled into a dark, almost cruel smile. “Prove it.”

Before you could respond, he was kissing you again, his mouth hot and relentless as his hands slid beneath your shirt. He lifted you effortlessly, pinning you against the wall as his lips trailed down your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there.

“Say it,” he demanded, his voice rough as his hands gripped your thighs, holding you firmly in place. “Say you hate me.”

“I hate you,” you gasped, though your voice trembled with need.

He laughed softly, the sound dripping with satisfaction. “Liar.”

His hand slid higher, his touch rough and unrelenting, and you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your lips. His mouth found yours again, swallowing your gasps as he pressed himself harder against you, the line between hate and desire blurring until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

The rest of the world faded away as you surrendered to him, the weight of your shared anger and frustration dissolving into something raw and primal. This was no fairytale, no perfect resolution—but in that moment, with his body pressed against yours and his lips claiming every inch of you, it was enough.

For now, it was enough.

[serickswrites]

Lonely Place of Longing XVII

Master list link here (includes chapter links, summary, and character bios)

A/N: Alright friends, we have reached the end of yet another longer series. I really, really adored these characters. Like so much. So much to the point that I have completely plotted out (and started writing) the prequel as well as begun to plan a sequel! So there is a lot more Dylan, Halle, and Owen in the future!

And I hurt my own feelings with this series. So yeah, you can be mad at me. Just know that I am already suffering lol

Warnings: blood, wounds, unconsciousness, cpr, mcd, cruelty, grief, dissection mention, captivity, heartbreak

“No. NO. NO. Dylan! PLEASE! GOD NO!” Halle screamed as Dylan’s stuttering breath went out in a quiet exhale. She waited for him to take another wheezing breath. But none came. “Come on, love, come on. Breathe! You have to stay with me.” Halle slid her legs out from underneath Dylan’s body, knelt next to him, and quickly began compressions. “You can’t leave me! You can’t! I need you!”

Each word was punctuated by her pumping his chest. Her vision blurred as she sobbed. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be it. Dylan hadn’t meant any of it. He loved her. He saved her. He was dying. He couldn’t be dying.

But as Halle pumped harder and harder, longer and longer, Dylan didn’t take a breath. Didn’t gasp for air and open his eyes. He lay beneath her hands, body moving as she pumped, eyes closed, features slack. He was still except for Halle’s movement.

Something inside Halle’s chest broke. She couldn’t breathe. This wasn’t happening. She had failed him. She had failed him in so many ways. But he hadn’t failed her. She was safe. She was alive. “Please,” she sobbed as she stopped pumping his chest. “Please, come back.”

But no matter how much she begged, no matter how much she sobbed, Dylan did not come back. And so she sat, for who knew how long, with him, coated in his blood, knowing that this was all her fault. He was dead because of her. Because he loved her. Dylan was dead because of Halle.

Things became blurry after a while. People moved around her. But she didn’t care. She didn’t care that she had made a scene, had exposed her secret, trying to save Dylan. She didn’t care that the others knew how much she loved him. She didn’t care about anything because Dylan was gone.

Somehow, Halle found herself back at Tectus. She had refused to leave his side. Had refused to leave him behind. Though she realized that Thomas, that the Authority, wouldn’t have wanted his body in the wrong hands. Dylan wasn’t free, even in death, of Scutus.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to their empty room. Dried blood flaked from her finger onto the floor. He was never coming back. And she couldn’t even keep him safe after. Though she had tried.

“Do not let the body out of your sight.” Thomas had ordered Aubrey and Lysander to take Dylan’s body away. “The other weapon is a total loss. Totally completely destroyed. It will take us weeks to gather all the pieces. We need to preserve this body. Do not let it out of your sight. Do not let anything happen to it. This is our last chance to understand why this weapon is different. I will not let it ruin all that we have worked for.” Thomas glared at the stretcher. “It may have ended up wasting what it was given, wasting its life. I won’t let it be a waste now. Take it to the research lab. See what they need.”

“NO!” Halle had thrown herself at the stretcher Aubrey and Lysander carried. Someone had thrown the blanket over his face, but hadn’t bothered to be sure he was fully on the stretcher as one arm hung limply, swinging with the movement. “PLEASE!” She screamed as she took his cold hand in hers.

“Return to your quarters until either myself or Samuel summon you,” Thomas said. “We will be discussing your release of duty that Dylan bargained for. Remain in your quarters until you are summoned.”

Halle refused to move. Dylan had given so much for her. What did he give away so she could be free? What did it cost him? He would never be free, so why free her? She didn’t care. She couldn’t let them take Dylan away. She had to protect him. Had to save him of one last thing. She couldn’t let him go. She stared at the blanket, knowing what lay beneath. This wasn’t happening.

Aubrey shifted, trying to move the stretcher away from her. All Aubrey succeeded in doing was pulling the blanket off.

Dylan looked like he was sleeping, his features slack and peaceful. But as Halle fought more and more to stay, to keep his hand in her grip, more and more of the blanket slipped off until Dylan’s body was completely exposed once more. Until she could see the wounds that caused him to bleed out. Until she could see the wounds that he got trying to save her.

Dylan was dead.

Dylan was dead because of her.

Halle dropped to her knees as she began to sob once more. “I’m sorry. Please. Please, love. Please.”

“Take her to her quarters and see that she doesn’t leave,” Thomas ordered. Helena and Andrea stepped forward, ready escort Halle back to her quarters.

“NO!” She screamed as they hooked their arms underneath her arm pits. She fought with everything she had to keep from being separated from Dylan. She was never going to see him again.

“The weapon is dead. It’s useless now. Forget about it.” Helena hissed as she pulled harder on Halle.

“No! NO!” Halle wouldn’t let them talk about Dylan like that. They were all alive because of Dylan.

“You’re making a scene,” Andrea whispered in her ear. “Don’t make this any worse. You’re going to be court martialled if you don’t let go. Do you want his death to be in vain?”

She couldn’t breathe. Her chest felt full of lead. This was real. This was happening. Dylan was dead. Dylan was dead and it was her fault. This was because of her.

“They’re going to dissect the body. Do you want to see what they do to broken weapons in R & D?”

Halle felt nauseous. She was dizzy. She couldn’t see that. Couldn’t let them do that to Dylan. But as she watched Thomas glare at her, she realized she had no power. She dropped Dylan’s hand with a sob. She let Helena and Andrea escort her back. She could barely walk. Could barely breathe. Dylan was dead. Dylan was gone. Dylan died because of her. She didn’t want to be awake for any of it any longer. She flung herself onto the bed as she began to sob once more. Paper crinkled beneath her fingers.

Sweetheart. The outer flap of the envelope read. Dylan had such neat, distinctive writing, there was no mistaking it. Halle didn’t hesitate and ripped the paper from the envelope.

Sweetheart, I’m sorry I had to lie to you. I’m sorry I had to push you away. I thought it would keep you safe. I realize I was wrong now. I wish I had known it sooner. I wish I could have said all of this sooner. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.

Tears tracked down Halle’s cheeks. He had known. He had known that this was a suicide mission. And still he came for her. He had walked into the fire knowing he wouldn’t make it out, but that she would.

I was born over a century ago in a small country in the sea that no longer exists. I was poor. I was happy. I had a loving family. I had a life I loved. My world was small, but it was all that I knew. All that we knew. Owen and I were inseparable. Even when the war came we were always together. And when they burned our home to the ground, when the invaders had decimated and destroyed all that we knew, we still had each other.

We were taken back to the invaders’ home, Patricanus. The world was strange. So different from our own. Everything was cold, sterile. We lived in a land of greenery, of land and sea. And this was a dry, stale land. It’s since flourished into a greener place, or at least from what I’ve seen. But one hundred years ago, Patricanus was a desert waste land. And so the powers that be deemed it necessary to invade other places to learn how they cultivated the land. How they kept the land bearing life. And our home was the most fertile of all. I don’t know what they stole from us, but they stole us away, so perhaps that was part of it. I don’t know, it’s not something I ever learned the truth about.

I have never felt pain like I felt being imbued. Words don’t describe the process. My world had been destroyed and Scutus destroyed my body. Scutus destroyed Owen’s mind. There was nothing I could do. I was trapped. I was a prisoner. And I had to do as they ordered or they would destroy the one thing I had left. And so I sold my soul so that he could live. So that the one last thing of my home would remain. I sold the last part of my humanity so the inhuman bastard would live.

I regret that. I should have refused. I should have let them destroy him early. But I was young. I was naive. I thought I could change him back. Could bring him back. But all I brought was pain. I am a wretched, piteous creature, but he was even more so. Life was misery. Time passed so slowly

Until I met you. You breathed life into me after a century of no air. I felt myself coming back to life with you, Halle. You are the best part of my life. The greatest thing to happen to me. And so I wouldn’t take back one miserable moment of my wretched existence because I wouldn’t have met you.

Halle, I’m sorry I’m not here to tell you all of these things. I’m sorry I’m not here to watch you learn the truth, to give you the choice for the next part. We aren’t the only weapons, but you know that. But what you don’t know is that the Authority is the source of all weapons. They sell them to the highest bidder, keep them enslaved, keep them deep in the dark. I bargained for your freedom. You’re free, sweetheart. I only ask that you take the others with you. While I’ll never be able to take you to the sea, you can take them. Be free, Halle, and free the others.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Halle read and reread the letter a hundred times over. Patricanus was the aggressor. The Authority had destroyed a country. Had decimated a people. Had stolen them away and enslaved them. Dylan knew all of that. Knew that and didn’t tell her. Having this knowledge was dangerous. There was more than one reason they kept Dylan locked up and isolated. He was dangerous to the Authority, to Scutus, to the foundations of Patricanus. He knew too much. And he could have destroyed them all.

As Halle gathered what few belongings Dylan had left behind, she made a vow. She was leaving Tectus and so were all the other weapons. She was going to destroy Scutus and the Authority. She was going to ensure the world knew what evil lurked within. And she was going to free them all. For herself. For those that had been lost. But most of all because it was all that Dylan had wanted.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t free you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I love you. I love you. I love you,” Halle whispered to the empty room. She was getting out of here. She was going to destroy the Authority, expose their secrets and skeletons. And she was getting all the weapons to freedom. Nothing was going to stand in her way.

Tags: @beomsstudio @mousepaw @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @eyehartart @corbytheking

@seysposts @cosmic-butterflys @wormjerky @godnessofmagic

@daddyslittlestgirlll

@thatlittlefirestarter @defire @jthecalmone @shook-skull @sagencrafts

@theforeverdyingperson @bilightningwhumper @cryptid-potato @fox-fox234 @deepfriedpan

@4-err0r-4 @half-duck @bigmiki @amberconnverse636 @penguin4473-blog

@abbyreader23 @lateuplight @firelan @octafi @paingoes

@xo7-parad0x @whumpandcomfort @kazekunai @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe @soul-of-a-local-bard

@dragonkales @kitarajy-kari @carosbee @celestialsoyeon @knightinbatteredarmor

@kay-kayxb177 @alwaysjaywalking @decayanddie @demetercabingreen-thumb @never-enough-novels

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@anightmarishwhump @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pepeniascat

[drabbles-mc]

Pick-Up

Jesse Pinkman & Ignacio "Nacho" Varga

For @narcosfandomdiscord Book of Near Misses: fanwork with two characters from the same show who have never met

Warnings: 18+, language, no plot just vibes

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: do you ever think about the fact that these two never got to meet? because i sure do!!!!!! i feel like there is more down the line that i would like to do with these two in a different story. but for now there's this! also my first time ever writing for Jesse so 🫡

“Yo!” Jesse banged on the safehouse door. “Open up!”

He didn’t hear anyone calling back to him, didn’t hear any movement from the other side of the door at all. Letting out a deep sigh, he started to make his way around the house. All of the curtains were covering the windows, all the locks on them secured. The only car in the driveway was his own, and for a moment Jesse couldn’t help but to think that maybe Mike had sent him off on some sort of wild goose chase. Punishment for whatever he’d done most recently that had annoyed him.

When he wound up back at the front door again, Jesse was about to turn around and walk off. He’d been through enough bouts of hazing and pointless trips. What he didn’t want, though, was to get into deeper trouble because he didn’t do what he was supposed to. There was still always the off-chance that this was all legit.

Standing halfway between the front door and the car, Jesse took out his phone and dialed one of the four numbers that were programmed into it. Bringing the phone up to his ear, he let it ring. His shoulders slumped, head tilting back as he waited to be sent to voicemail, to a voicemail box that probably wouldn’t even let him leave a message.

“What?” Mike’s voice came through on the other end of the line, as unamused as he ever was.

“Did you even send me to the right place?” Jesse asked.

“Did you go to the right place?” he rebutted.

Jesse rolled his eyes, able to picture perfectly Mike’s expression even though the two of them were miles and miles away from each other. “I think I can match a house number and a street name.”

“Okay, then, you’re in the right spot.”

“Does your guy know I’m coming, then? Because I’m out here banging on the door and—”

“Did you really think that banging on the door was the best course of action? For a man that’s currently a fugitive and on the run from—”

“Alright, alright. So,” Jesse shrugged, “what, then?”

“There’s a number in your phone that you’ve never had to call before.” He paused, a meaningful silence that lasted just long enough for Jesse to put two and two together on his own. “Call it.”

Jesse opened his mouth to respond, something along the lines of, “How was I supposed to know?” or “Why wasn’t that part of the directions?” But before he could say anything the line went dead. He huffed before navigating his way through the umpteenth flip phone that he’d had and gone through.

He hovered over the contact saved into his phone as only NV. He looked back up at the windows on the front of the house, hoping to catch some movement in the curtains and getting nothing. Finally, he hit the dial button.

When the person on the other end of the line answered, they didn’t say anything. Jesse could hear the faint waves of static, but no breathing, no voice. “Look, I’m gonna wait out here for five more minutes and then I’m turning around and going home. I’m only out here because Mike—”

“Mike sent you?” the man on the other end of the line finally spoke up at the sound of a familiar name.

“Yeah,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. “Sent me because he’s too busy doing other shit, I guess.” He paused, waited for the man to say something else, and when he didn’t, he said, “Four minutes, dude.”

Jesse waited for a response but it never came. Once more he was faced with a dead phone line and he briefly wondered if there would ever be a time in his life again when people actually gave him a response of some kind before hanging up. A simple “Got it” or “Thanks” would work in lieu of a real goodbye, but he never seemed to get anything these days.

He stood there and continued to stare at the front of the house. He watched the windows, the curtains still not showing any kind of movement. He wasn’t really close enough to hear the sounds of any scuffling around inside but he still strained an ear just in case. Another minute had almost ticked by, which never really felt like a long time until Jesse was standing aimlessly in someone’s driveway, and the front door still hadn’t opened.

Finally hitting the point where he felt like he’d either been set up for failure, or was about to fall into some sort of trap, Jesse shook his head and mumbled a quiet, “Fuck this,” to himself before continuing the trek back to the car.

Just as his fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning in the direction of it, he saw a man walking out from behind the house. He had a bag slung over one shoulder, and a gun clutched with both hands pointed at the ground. Jesse’s face scrunched in confusion as much at the gun as at the state of the man in general.

Mike hadn’t told him much of anything about the errand that he was on, which was typical. He definitely hadn’t given Jesse a description of the person that he was supposed to be transporting which, looking back on it seemed like just as much of a security measure as it was a liability but there was nothing that he was ever going to be able to do about that.

Whoever this guy was, he certainly wasn’t dressed like a man on the run with the exception of the gun in his hands. He didn’t fit the bill for a guy who had been hiding out in a safehouse for who knows how long. Even though his shirt was dingy and wrinkled now, Jesse could see that on a better day, it was nicer than anything that was in his own closet. The boots on his feet weren’t the kind made for the types of treks they would most likely find themselves on.

There was no shortage to the number of comments that crossed Jesse’s mind to make as the man walked closer to him. The one he settled on, however, was emphasized with a perplexed look as he said, “Dude, what are you doing?”

The man mirrored his expression, though there was more annoyance etched into his features than Jesse’s. “What?”

Jesse nodded towards the gun that he was holding. “What are you doing? It’s just,” he held his hands out, gesturing to the space around the two of them, “just us. Gonna pop your ride out of here?”

He kept both hands on the gun still, however the muscles in his arms lost a little bit of their tension. “If you’re my ride,” he said, giving Jesse a pointed once-over as he did, “then yeah, sorry if I don’t wanna just take my chances.”

“You think Mike would send me all the way out here just to—”

“Even if you’re not here to kill me, I don’t exactly trust that you’re gonna be able to stop someone else who wants to,” he explained. He didn’t want to say it, but he also wouldn’t put it past Mike or anyone in their business to send someone all the way out to where he was just to get rid of him. Whoever this kid was that Mike sent didn’t seem like the kind of guy he’d send for that kind of job, but he knew better now than to say things like never.

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” Finally reaching and pulling the door open, he said, “Get in. Or don’t.”

Jesse had hardly sat down in the driver’s seat before turning the car back on. He was half-expecting whoever this guy was to turn around and walk back towards the house. Jesse wouldn’t have stopped him. Leaning across the console, Jesse stared out through the passenger window to see what the guy was doing, and found him doing another scan around them before finally opening the door and getting inside.

He watched the man as he set his bag on the floor between his feet. Jesse contemplated offering for him to throw it in the back seat, but the gun still being held in one of the guy’s hands was telling Jesse that the level of trust probably wasn’t quite there yet.

“Jesse,” he said as he shifted to reverse.

“What?”

Jesse looked at him before continuing on to look over his shoulder to back out of the crumbling driveway. “My name is Jesse. This is, you know,” he put the car into drive, “the part where you tell me who you are, what makes you so special.”

He stared at Jesse skeptically for a moment as he started off down the road. The car rattled slightly, filing what would’ve been deafening silence otherwise. He sat and he stared until Jesse turned to give him a quick glance before locking back onto the road. “Dude, it’s gonna be a long-ass drive if you’re just gonna sit there and stare at me in silence.”

He narrowed his eyes just slightly before finally saying, “Nacho.”

The chuckle that Jesse let out at that was reflexive. It was far from the strangest nickname he’d heard, and given the circles that he’d found himself running in lately he should know better than to laugh. But he couldn’t stop himself. He shook his head slightly as he reined in the other laughs that wanted to sneak their way out, an undeniable smirk on his face.

“Nacho,” he repeated with emphasis that was only amusing to him, “right on, yo.”

Jesse sat and waited for another moment longer, wondering if Nacho was going to have anything to say in response to that. He wasn’t looking for the guy’s life story, but he was wondering if Nacho was going to divulge anything about why they were in their current situation. Maybe even say how he knew Mike, or why Mike gave enough of a crap about him to have someone go out and fetch him, but didn’t give so much of a crap to come out and rescue Nacho himself. He’d settle for anything, but as Nacho settled back in his seat, gun still in his lap, Jesse knew that he wasn’t going to get any information that he didn’t pry or dig for.

“Right,” Jesse muttered under his breath. Not wanting to just listen to the rattling of the car on the road, and since his temporary partner didn’t seem to have anything to say, Jesse reached and turned the radio on to fill the void.

Music blared from the speakers for about forty seconds before Nacho shook his head and reached forward to shut it off. Nacho scoffed at the noise, and Jesse rolled his eyes at the lack of it.

Silence persisted for another minute or two before Jesse started to improvise, drumming his hands on the steering wheel. The rhythm didn’t feel familiar to Nacho, and he wondered if Jesse even had something in mind or if it was just stream of consciousness at this point. Nacho turned and looked at him as he drove and decided that there was no forethought happening there.

“Turn it back on,” Nacho finally said with a shake of his head.

“What?” Jesse asked, looking over at the man in the passenger seat.

“The radio.” He leaned so that his elbow was propped on the tiny ledge built into the car door. “Turn it back on,” he repeated as he propped his chin in his hand that wasn’t holding onto the gun.

Jesse rolled his eyes but he did as instructed, just glad to have something aside from his own thoughts to listen to. “Alright.” With both hands back on the wheel, he still found himself tapping his thumbs against it but it wasn’t audible. Eyes still trained on the road, he said, “Should’ve known that Mike wasn’t sending me to pick up anyone fun.”

“I—”

“If you’re looking for fun I think you’re looking in…the worst places possible.”

The sound Jesse made next wasn’t quite a chuckle, just that short, sharp exhale through his nose to prove that he’d heard and understood what Nacho was saying whether or not he agreed with it. Something about the response made it all click for him in a way, why Mike had sent Jesse out to the middle of nowhere to pick this guy up. Nacho might not have been in the divulging mood, probably wouldn’t ever be based on what Jesse had seen so far, but he didn’t need to know anything else to see how the web tangled itself together.

Leaning back in the driver’s seat, Jesse reached to turn the volume up two more notches before letting his hand fall onto the center console instead of back on the steering wheel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nacho give another shake of his head, but neither of them said anything to the other. The ends of Jesse’s mouth curled upwards as he continued on down the road, preparing for a long, quiet drive back home.

[createandconstruct]

ooooh I just had a thought. how do u think Midoriya and All Might reacted after your story Needed? like when All Might got his memories back? was there loud celebration or quiet happiness?

Definitely quiet happiness. I imagine the two of them oversleep, Izuku drifting off in the midst of telling some highlights from their 10 months of training, Toshi following soon after. (But not before reveling in this boy and the peace across his sleeping face). They wake up well past the time classes have begun. Toshi having not set the alarm he couldn’t remember and Aizawa and the other teachers having left them be, figuring they both needed the rest. Izuku’s a ball of guilt at first but Toshi’s content to putz around the apartment—slow to rise but quick to insist Izuku not run off to class last minute. (It’s selfish but he wants the kid to stay—needs him to). Toshi takes in the pictures, Izuku timidly and then more confidently giving context to each one. The time and places, the names to faces he doesn’t know. Not that there’s very many. So many of them (from pictures to newspaper clippings) including or being just of his green haired boy. (Izuku’s been to Toshi’s dorm enough to know the embarrassing amount of memorabilia well but he still can’t help but feel his face go hot at the way his mentor looks… like he always does as he takes it all in—happy, proud).

The two leave the dorm for the mess hall just before noon. Warm, despite the cold breeze outdoors. 

There’s no fanfare, no explosion, or burst when the memories return.

They eat lunch together, tour the school, and even drop by a few classes—this time Toshi lets class A swarm him, despite Aizawa’s continued protests. 

Izuku skips practical training to walk Toshi around—it’s not that much of a loss, it’s sometimes better to skip, save the embers for something more important—until soon enough it's later in the afternoon and they’re heading back to the student dorms. 

Izuku doesn’t even realize it’s time. A little part of him has forgotten All Might’s current condition. Walking instep with his mentor, who wears his usual smile, it’s like all is normal. 

It isn’t until they reach the door that All Might comes to a stand still. Izuku turns back, expecting something wrong but…

“All Might…?”

There’s no distant look, no glazed over eyes, nothing to indicate anything has changed. 

There’s only a slight shine to All Might’s eyes and a deep fondness along his smile lines. 

Izuku can’t get a single word out before he’s gathered up in his mentor’s arms. 

For Toshi, remembering is like adding oxygen to a fire. There’s been warmth, so much of it—every time he looks at this boy who has so obviously become his own he feels it—but its source is still just a recently lit flame. Something that would certainly grow with time, but also something that has just started. He can’t fully know its depth, or feel its potential to burn until it suddenly comes alight with every memory of the last eight years. 

One moment he’s walking at Young Midoriya’s side, feeling lighter than he has in years and the next, he’s standing beside his boy, his Izuku, his pride and his joy, his reason for being, even when he’d forgotten. The warmth never disappears; it simply blazes. All encompassing. His memories, old and new, fit snugly together, so that in an instant, he’s once again himself. 

So that the growing little flame is once again the unconditional fire he knows as love.

He pulls his boy tight against him and relishes in the journey—one he can finally remember—one that brought him right here.

As Izuku reaches round to hug him back, his heart aches with unshakeable certainty:

It was worth it.

All of it.

[tremsing82]

I still have so many questions about the reign of Amarantha. Like why was all the magic of Prythian affected by the High Lords having their powers stolen. Does the land of the high-lords depend on the high-lords magics? Do the citizens of the courts rely on the High-Lords magic.

Like there is an Anime called K project, where there are 7 kings and the 7 kings have solders/followers/friends who all obtain powers from their kings. When a king dies and a new king has not accepted their status yet then those soldiers magic/power is not as strong as it once was. They still have it but it’s missing its strength.

How was the land and the people affected by their High-Lords not performing Calanmai for 49yrs. Calanmai is supposedly performed by all the high-lords to restore the magic into the land. But for the past 49yrs Tamlin has been alone in this tradition. How secretive are some of the courts? Like Rhys has no clue what courts have what powers, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?!?!?? Like you should know the elemental powers of each court!!!! What are the branch powers in each court?!??!? Hell Feyre asked where her wind magic came from and Rhys said maybe Day?!?!? And then it seems to be it comes from Tamlin based on what he does in WaR to save Feyre. But also it seems some elemental powers overlap like Day and Dawn sharing Light/Glowing (or that’s what it seems right now, it’s not been confirmed if Feyre’s body glowing is from Day or Dawn).

I am so fucken annoyed we spent 4 books in friggen Night Court!!!!! And we have only spent those 4 books in Night Court with people who ONLY love Night Court. Rhys and Feyre couldn’t care less about the other courts traditions and powers and people and legends.

I have not read Throne of Glass yet so not sure how large the world is in that series. I am reading Book 2 of CC and currently we are only located in this one city so the world building doesn’t play a part in the story outside of the world outside the city is in war. And then here is Prythian, with 7 courts, human lands, and Hybern.

I am hoping that Lucien’s book expands the knowledge of Prythian further. He is our emissary, our ambassador of the courts, our traveler. We already saw that Eris knows history of Prythian pretty well when he was ready to tell Nesta about the importance on the 3 mountains which Cassian rudely interrupted. So I am hoping Elain gets this moment when she has questions about Prythian outside of the night court and the only one who can answer them is Lucien. I would hate if Seer Powers are once again a Night Court specific branch magic. I want them to go to Day or Autumn to learn more about her powers/magic.

One of my biggest problems with the Court of Thorns and Roses saga is that you can't be sure of absolutely anything because SJM's worldbuilding is horrible.