#but i love you all so so much and if you ever need to vent about this shit or anything else I'm here <3< /div>
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wife
sebastian vettel
tags: smut/pwp, established relationship, wife!reader, age gap (20s/37), bath/shower sex, breeding kink, cowgirl position
mark webber ver. - kimi raikkonen ver. - jenson button ver.
rain came down heavy during a cool day in march. spring was beginning to show itself, but a bit of the biting chill still remained.
sebastian laughed as he pushed his blond hair out of his face and wiped his face free of raindrops, "the rain was supposed to come later!" he looked to you as you placed your wet sneakers by the vent.
you looked back to him, you were mostly try thanks to sebastian's raincoat that he threw over you when the rain started. however he was left soaked. you giggled, "well, we need to get your clothes in the dryer. i don't need you getting a cold!" you hung up the coat to dry and pulled your husband further into the house.
he eagerly followed you, letting you grasp his wrist as you went towards the bathroom. he perked up when you said,
"i know exactly how to warm you up."
"oh no, my love." he said, "i think i'm getting so ill, you'll need to play nurse for me." he laughed before you got his sweatshirt off and then his soaked t-shirt underneath.
he could feel your lustful gaze on his body, you weren't being exactly subtle about it. it wasn't a stretch for you to say that your husband was the most handsome man you ever laid eyes on. there was something so alluring about him. as he stood there in just briefs that showed off his bulge.
you tried to keep it together as you put the clothes in the hamper to be dried later. something had been on your mind lately. you had been married to sebastian for almost a year and a half. and maybe it was just baby fever, but you wanted his child. a baby with the love of your life.
you put your hand on his bicep and leaned in, your gaze met his. and he smiled at you. you suggested to him, "how about a bath? it'll make you nice and warm."
sebastian knew where this was going and smiled. he got a loose arm around you. and then admired your features for a moment, the depths of colour in your eyes, the slope of your nose, the little acne scar on your cheek. all beautiful, all for him, "only if you get it ready for me."
he remained close while you prepped the bath. the plug in the drain and warm water flowed from the table. he told you that he was stealing some of your body heat, he played up the whole cold as aspect as an excuse to be so close to you.
you smiled a little when you felt his barely clothed cock up against your behind.
"feeling warm, dear?" he asked. it didn't help that his words only made you warmer. you made a small noise and he buried his nose in your hair as he bent you over a little, "you feel rather warm."
"fuck, seb."
a kiss as your pulse point made you core grow warm. your husband exhaled deeply against you, "you looked very nice in my jacket. knowing i was protecting you. i know you like that, feeling protected."
you blushed and felt a twinge in your core as your husband continued to kiss your neck. slowly you were stripped of your own clothes as steam filled the room. heat rose in you as it did the washroom.
he still held onto you once you were nude, his now bare cock was up against your beck. you nipples were hard and your stomach felt full of butterflied. you admired lowly, "i want a baby." in a rainy in the spring at your home. you, mrs. vettel, wanted to have a baby with your loving husband.
he linked his fingers with yours and held them tightly as he remained before you. he said in a love voice tinged with affection, "oh my love, my treasure, my wife. i thought you'd never ask." then laid heavy kisses on the back of your shoulders. it didn't take much longer before you were both in the tub. and your husband's cock sank into you.
your were facing him, admiring his features and felt the course of heat in your soul. you took him so well.
"my dear." he deeply exhaled, "you feel amazing." he got yourself fully seated on his cock. he held onto your soft hips, "probably not the most efficient position for our little plan. but, this feels just too good." he bit back a moan as you started to move, "my wife in the bath with me." he rocked up against you and felt the heat in his body.
you moaned a little louder as his cock hit up against your sweetest spots. it felt quite amazing, a certain lust that left you needy for more. your body seemed to move on its own as you moved. the water shifted around you and the smell of floral soap filled the steamy air. you were making love to your husband and it felt immaculate.
"you're perfect." he admited, "i always thought you were. drew me with in, and now you have that pretty ring on your finger and a big house. big enough to have a few kids running around." his chest heavily rose and fell with each breath.
his words turned you on as the two of you continued to make heated love in the bath. the warm water helped warm you both up on top of the passionate sex you had.
you were left breathless in each other's embrace. sebastian kissed you deeply, his large hands roamed your body. the excitement only further grew in you. the water splashed up against your back from the movements, the steadiness of your pace. against you was your husband, the love of your life. he made sure you were safe and loved, he yearned for your body. your lips, your pussy, your soft breasts. everything.
you fed his obsession, his cock twitched inside of you as the two of you picked up the pace.
"please, honey. it feels good." you whined. he fit you perfectly. it was hard to deny yourself him and the pleasure he gave you. just as he was obsessed with you, you were obsessed with him.
everyone loved mrs. vettel, and you loved your husband. he made you laugh out loud, see the world different, and moan loudly as you achieved climax. a sebastian took pride in pleasuring you, knowing he always got you to the highest climaxes.
anything for his wife.
rain hit the window outside, but you were both so comfortable in the water. steam heavy in the washroom.
"how's your bath?" you asked.
"best i've ever had. we could've had a little wine with this." he joked and pushed you further up against his him. he kissed your chest and played with your nipples. he gave them both equal attention.
spring was about planting and new life. and well, sebastian was going to plant something in you by the end of tonight. he groaned against your chest, "hope you're ready for my baby. i know you'll carry them as well. and don't worry, i'm here for you through it all. because that is what a good husband does. support and protect." he kissed over your heart which made your stomach flip.
"seb."
"beautiful." he moaned as you moved a little faster. he held on tightly and smothered your face in love and affection. he felt the tension in his body as he felt the flow of pelasure through him. the sight of you riding him.
he groaned through a tesne jaw and your nails dug into his shoulders as the two of you fucked faster. he felt the pull of want in him, you kissed him on the lips once more. you felt sebastian's cock against all the right areas. the rain cam down, but you were wrapped up in him. your sebastian.
"my beautiful wife." he sighed almost dreamily, he kissed your neck and felt your shudder against him. he felt the same way, the same pounding heat in his core. he groaned with his face between the valley of your breasts, "all mine." his voice was drowned with lust. he loved it all.
"we're going to make a family?" you asked with heat in your voice. your breeding kink on full display. you could taste the pleasure on your tongue, the heated feeling was sweet.
"oh yeah." he purred, "you, me, our kids." he moved against you quicker and he he knew he was close to finishing, "out in the garden with them. we'll be so happy." he shakily exhaled, "dinners, movies, homework, long driver. everything."
the water splashed more violently, it went over the edge of the tub. you kissed him once more as you felt the pleasure wash over you.
"i love you." the words slipped out in german.
you gazed at your husband and replied in the same tongue, "i love you too." and watched a smile grow across his face. you pulled him in for one last searing kiss before you climaxed. your nails dug into him a little tighter as you came. the noises flowed from your mouth spurred your husband on. he worked his cock into you, you met his pace in your own orgasmic bliss.
the kissed continued and you moaned into his mouth. sebastian held onto your hips tightly and finished inside of you. he peppered your neck with kisses before he kissed you on the mouth once more. soon after he slowed down and you both held onto one another. he looked up at you with love in his eyes.
"i think we made a bit of a mess." he said cheekily.
you combed your fingers through his hair and said, "why don't we clean up and continue this in the bedroom? i'm not finished with you yet, my dear." you gave him a wink.
he chuckled lightly, he liked the look you gave him. however it didn't stop him from sneezing. you two would have to make quick work because the cold set in.
-
it was nearing the end of summer and yet it was another rainy day. which was a shame considering that everything had been so sunny for the last few days.
for a quiet afternoon you laid in your lover's arms. sebastian kept you close, you were about five months into your pregnancy. and every moment since you told him the news, his love for you only grew deeper - something you didn't think was possible.
you leaned in closer and kissed him on the nose. he only pulled you in further until your noses were touching. even with his eyes closed he could feel your closeness, your deep love. he leaned in for a kiss with a wide hand on your swollen middle.
"another rainy day." you said softly.
sebastian opened his eyes a little and asked, "breakfast in bed then, mrs. vettel?"
you cupped his face and he leaned into it. you asked him, "pancakes?" and sebastian only nodded, unable to deny his wife. <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#formula one smut#f1 x reader#formula one#f1#sebastian vettel smut#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel#sv5 x reader#sv5 smut#sv5
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got a bit of a silly one for you; which bots would get a kick out of hearing or making their human laugh so hard that they gigglesnort?
I think most of them would be amused, especially if the human is a bit embarrassed. A few would just go out of their way to try and make you do it again
Messing With The Human Headcanons
Trailbreaker
• Loves to make you laugh so hard you’re giggling and your eyes are leaking. Because you’re laughing with him, not at him like everyone else. Knows they whisper about him behind his back. That he’s just the “force-field guy.” Useless unless they need his skills. Overlooked a lot of the time by everyone but Hound. Like that’s all he’s good for. But you don’t care about what he can do, just like him for him. Sure you’d had a rocky start, at odds with each more than you got along. All his fault, every mistake and short-sighted decision all him. But he likes it when you laugh. Loves that smile.
Waspinator
• Leaning over your shoulder to vent against your neck and stir your hair, he huffs and his antenna perk up. Sniffing your coffee. Like he does every morning. Sighing, you hold out the cup. “Want to try some?” And those antenna immediately flatten back to make you think that he doesn’t actually like the way your coffee smells. “Try a bit,” you insist, grinning and he twists his servos together, clearly uncomfortable as you lift it to his face, watching his mandibles pull together and fidget before he reluctantly leans forward. Still find his mouth unsettling as his mandibles spread to reveal his actual mouth and those sharp denta as he obediently takes a drink. And his wings flare out, antenna flattening back. “Good, huh?”
• Not good. Dirt water. Nasty, bitter, dirt water. Whining helplessly at you as you start laughing and point at the sink. Giving him permission to spit it out and you’re wheezing, as he spits and fumbles with the controls like he’s seen you do until he can tip his head under the faucet, get a mouthful and spit again. Why would you drink that? “Waspinator doesn’t like,” he manages, shaking his head and you’re doubled over, snorting and laughing. At him. Can’t even be annoyed with you as your amusement spills through him to warm him. Likes that happy sound even if it’s at his expense.
Brainstorm
• Irritated that you’re laughing at him, instead of impressed. “Wait-is this to impress that other guy? Do you have a bro-crush on Perceptor?” When he doesn’t answer, you crack up, snorting and giggling. And okay. It’s a tiny bit cute. Even if you’re quite possibly the most obnoxious creature he’s ever met. “You do, don’t you? You just want him to notice you. Senpai, notice me!” You’re wheezing now, eyes leaking and he’s changed his mind. There’s nothing cute about you, you’re a little pit-spawned demon sent to torment him and if you breathe a word of this to Perceptor, he’ll offline and take you with him.
Swerve
• “Stop-stop, I can’t breathe,” you gasp, smacking at his servos. Almost screaming you’re laughing so hard and now your eyes are leaking. “You’re awful.” And heads are turning along the bar to stare at you both. Probably wondering if they’re the subject of your amusement. Which is fair enough because he’s been dredging up every bit of dirt on every other crew member he can think of to keep you entertained. Turns out you enjoy gossip as much as he does, but not as much as he loves your snorting laughter and giggles.
TFP Megatron
• “You really think you can make demands?” He growls, carefully hooking a servo through your glittery harness and tugging so you stumble forward a step. Expecting you to become indignant or just angry. Not to reach and carefully remove his clawed servo, patting him.
• “You honestly think I’m the one on the leash?” You say, grinning broadly up at him as he scowls. “I’m the one that’s settling here, because let’s face it. Anger issues and no impulse control even when you’re not on drugs? You’re not exactly the Nemesis’s most eligible bachelor.” There it is, optics narrowing and sharp denta bared in a sharklike grin. “Some of those Vehicons are kind of adorable,” you add, laughing at his expression. Because no matter how much you piss him off, there’s not a thing he can do about it.
• Servos slowly clenching and unclenching, he growls, but knows you’re teasing. Even if he despises your sense of humor. And the more angry he acts, the funnier you think it is until you’re cracking up at his scowl. Little brat. Knows you’ll make it up to him later and that you at least know not to dare voice such things if anyone’s around. Really, he spoils you letting you get away with your attitude. Anyone else would be torn limb from limb, but he enjoys your laughter.
#transformers x reader#trailbreaker x reader#waspinator x reader#swerve x reader#megatron x reader#brainstorm x reader
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i love neglected reader batfam aus but what if reader was growing up in the Wayne Manor not completely ignored by everyone. instead, they showed their love in little ways.
your family members were often busy. you were not completely oblivious to their nightly activities. often times, you had to attend a gala in your dad's place while he was prowling the night streets in Gotham wearing a bat costume. though, he tried not to make it as a habit or people will notice.
you love your family, really. there was no hesitation on your part. you were not related to Bruce Wayne by blood, like Damian, but you loved him like he was your real father. you just hoped that he would take care of himself more often and not spend so much time in the batcave. not to mention everyone was in on the secret. Dick was already off to Blüdhaven. Jason rarely came to the manor, and preferred to spend time in Crime Alley. Tim, now finally entering college, was busier than ever. Damian was also busy with school and being Robin.
your only hope was Alfred but even he can't be at many places at one time. so, you feel dejected. the manor felt so empty now that they were absent.
and your family noticed this. of course they did. so, they decided to show signs that they care.
Dick can't be at the manor all the time, so he often texted you messages. he sent you good morning texts, asking how you were doing and leaving reminders like "don't skip breakfast!" and "don't sleep too late, you don't want to be like Tim :)"
one of the few rare days when Jason did go to the manor, he took you riding around the city with his bike, going to the bookstore and grabbing lunch at that restaurant you liked. before he left, he would ruffle your hair and tell you "don't bring trouble" to which you scoffed because hello? look at you? and asked you if he needed to threaten someone, which was unnecessary. you were tempted.
as for Tim, since you both were almost the same age, you often spend time talking about the woes of living a college life. "ugh, Tim. i can't believe this but one of my groupmates hasn't answered my texts yet- the deadline is TOMORROW!" and cue the venting session. Tim always listened to your problems. he felt that sometimes you don't need a solution, you just need a good listener.
and Damian, given his upbringing, he wasn't good at expressing things like affection. he found you crying one time, stressed from doing assignments. it only took him one look at you before he grabbed his sketchbook and his art supplies then sitting next to you and started drawing. the sound of his pencil moving on the paper soothed your mind. you didn't need words to express yourself. just by being side by side, eased you both.
Alfred often made tea and cookies for you when you immersed yourself with work. he knew about your sweet tooth, and he liked to take advantage of it.
while Bruce was often absent from your life before, he tried to involve himself more. breakfast and dinner was spent with him asking about you. if you were doing okay, if someone was bothering you, if he had to bribe them to leave you alone, etc.
your family never said it out loud, but you knew.
you were loved.
#batfam x reader#platonic batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth
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🧙♀️🐈⬛
#xmen#avengers#xmen comics#avengers comics#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#francesca the cat#ORGANIC FRANCESCA POSTING FROM SNAP ??more likely than you think..#snap sketches#did i doodle this just so i could rant in my tags. maybe.#i will talk about this doodle first tho ... cause i still like to ramble bout my own stuff....#uhhh i just wanted to draw wanda :) and fran :) yeah thats it jvAELKJEKLAJ#thought itd be cutesy ... they can be friends ... if mags will be apprehensive about the cat wanda will be the exact opposite#its only natural ..... ok Unrelated Vent/Ramble Time#i was very mad when i started drawing this but ive mellowed out considerably... still i love complaining..#ill delete my venty ranty tags in the morn .. for now i need my piece read .. or at least out there for my sanity ..#anyways tldr we all know i hate my mom and i very much do not like using 'hate' so lightly when i hate I Hate#like you know the hate speech from I Have No Mouth yeah literally me. literally me about my mom#most days i tolerate her because she barely exists in the same room as i for more than thirty seconds#but tonight. Ugh. note to self remember to never ask her for anything again. as is what ive said for years..#what a fool i was to think that would ever change. THAT in of itself is whatever yk her being irritating when it comes to. Being A Parent#but then she had the gall to start talking about my dad like oh my god see NOW im getting mad again#nothing makes me angrier than her talking about my dad like. UGH ill cap it there so i dont catch on fire somehow#also ill feel compelled to drop three novel's worth of lore and i dont have tags for that. also this is just supposed to be a cute doodlejV#i had plans to draw something else that was cutesy but then i got mad and couldnt focus on it#so now we're here... in any case bye bye. ill try to continue that other idea..#then i wanna focus on another thing.... if i make any progress on That afterwards it'll be a miracle
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I feel like being mutuals means so much less than everyone makes it seem
You literally just follow each other, that's it
Most of my mutuals probably don't even remember who I am after I stopped drawing for them
Edit: the rant in the tags is more about being annoyed with people who tell me they like my art and follow me, but that's it, no art support at all
#the tags are gonna be a bit of a vent bc I think about this a lot#maybe it's because most of my mutuals only ever interacted with my post when it was art for them#I don't get notifications that they liked my art but they tell me they like seeing my art#I see them reblogging bigger artists than me and it's a little discouraging in a way#they talk big about my art on discord before following me for emphasis#but then they never liked any of it#they sometimes reblog my reblogs#but that's it#it just feels gross to me to act like you support and love someone's art so so much and they're “cool” to you#but then it stops at just words in a server#actions speak louder than words#I don't want to sound entitled or spoiled#I just feel a little deceived that they said they like my stuff but I get no evidence of that#ofc I love seeing my mutuals that do like my stuff more than anything#I do have regulars that do support me and I try to support them as much as I can#but I can't help but feel weird trying to support someone who doesn't even look at what I do as they talk about liking it#They don't need to say any of that but they do and it feels like lies#ofc this is all so whiny and I know it's so stupid#I'm probably going to delete this later#I just wanted to say it finally#vent#tw vent#vent tw#vent posting
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Shang tsung doesn't need to be a "good guy" to be sympathetic or do nice or "good" deeds.
Y'all should understand that not everyone needs to be a hero to be redeemed.
That's some bullshit propaganda that y'all tend to fall for.
It's like that feeling of "if you pray to jesus,all you're sins in OUR eyes will be forgiven" type indoctrinated shit. Like no shade thrown,even as someone who is spiritual myself. I find people thinking that a villain in a story should become a hero in order to be redeemed,kinda suspicious.
Shang tsung,to me,has ALWAYS BEEN NUANCED. And already had benevolent qualities and traits. Y'all just only see one damn part of it because the writers suck at showing them properly.
Not to mention if a character isn't obnoxiously nice or mean,y'all don't pay attention to them.
It's like most of mk fans I've noticed,at least as of late. Feels like I'm talking to 3yr olds in media literacy.
So no. Shang tsung needs to be a NEUTRAL CHARACTER. not good,not evil,just self serving and even quite helpful as a tournament master as he is supposed to fucking be.
He is supposed to be that "keep your friends close,keep you enemies closer" type. He is the "the enemy of my enemies are my friends" type. He's scary intelligent,cunning,a master martial artist,a brilliant alchemist,and one badass mofo you do not wanna cross.
But most of all,he is courteous,a gracious host on his island,and his punishments are as great as his rewards. He does keep his end of the bargain,but he also gets compensation.
If anything you need to worry about earthrealms warriors more than him. Half of them now(due to piss poor writing) are hiding behind heroic deeds and false statements of peace yet they have unclean hands too.
With Shang tsung you know what you are dealing with,it's on the table. If you cant read the obvious,you are indeed a foolish one.
No matter what iteration of shang tsung you have. One thing is clear,made clear,and that is when you deal with him. You deal with the devil so to speak.
So if you're not smart nor prepared. That's on your ass honey. Not his. Do not blame him for your stupidity.
But if you know how to play the game,play chess with the serpent. And know these archetypes. Then you may have a better shot. But that's all on you.
Either way,in your favor or not. Do not blame him for telling you exactly what is needed to be said,not what you wanna hear. Honeyed words or not,there's always a sliver of truth and bitter pill of truth in his words. And he's good at making either people hate his guts or bow and worship him.
THAT IS WHY HE'S DANGEROUS. not because of magic,or experiments and other trival bullshit.
Nah.
It's because shang tsung is good at talking. Good at trades and making you believe whatever is what he wants you to see.
Even if it may go against him. He wants you to fuck up,get angry at him,attack,be unbalanced,so he can fuck your shit right up!
Holy shit this mans whole ass moveset is zoning and keeping you in a certain place in the stage even!
It's part of his whole damb character.
I could go on and on. But do not blame to serpent for telling you information for questions you ask him. You're the one who chose to bite his apple of enlightenment and knowledge so to speak.
Which is why the gods,titans,etc want these kombatants,warriors to be stupid. So they are easy to control,to get what they want.
Like it's glaringly obvious that mortal kombats story has these type of tropes and symbolism in it. But people are too blind,for various reasons. To see it.
I could get deep. It's a videogame,i know. It is what it is.
But the more i look at mk12/mk1 shang tsung. The more i feel its a missed opportunity to showcase these themes better for him.
Like holy shit dude. Shang tsung pointing out the hypocrisy of the gods. And whispers in our earthrealm warriors ears. And maybe convincing a few to join his side. Or even better. Our heroes,kung lao and mortal raiden to question liu kang and not blindly follow like fucking idiots. Sure just trust this dude right? Bruh.
Shang tsung is the only one with a brain once again. And i hate them making everyone else so stupid to make him seem better in the shithole plot of theirs. If you can call it a plot.
It burns me,that it's a waste of potential.
But i digress.
Anyways. Shang tsung,way more than an evil conjurer of tricks my dudes. Waaaaaay fucking more.
#mortal kombat#shang tsung#mini vent#mortal kombat shang tsung#mk12/mk1#mk12/mk1 shang tsung#mk1 shang tsung#mk1 2023 shang tsung#mk1 2023#like god damn it y'all love these type why can't you seem to write them better?!#y'all seem to take stupid pills around this shang tsung for why? like y'all wrote devil and luciferian characters so damn well....#why not apply that to shang tsung? like it's obviously right there in plain sight of what that is#ugh#i dunno guys i just feel there can be so much more for shang than “all evil” or “ all good” it's boring#like he doesn't need to change his whole fucking character to have sympathy or do heroic things ffs like let my dude be neutral!#i feel people throw around antihero too fucking much to a point that archetype lost it's meaning#he is by no means a fucking antihero nor will he ever be#if anything he's a tragic villain or just a neutral grey character period
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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hey cuties in my phone. i just want you to know i love you very much and life is so fucking hard but so worth living and if it’s dark for you rn just know i am rooting for you and i hope things get easier <3.
#i just want u to know that if u think no one cares i do!!!!!#on a little break but I’ll be back to it soon just need to process everything#tw death#also warning for mention of suic*de if you continue in these tags i just need to vent#i love u all dw im ok<3#it never gets easier when someone i know my age passes away. Especially when they take their life.#i grew up in a bad area a lot of us had bad lives and I’ve lost ppl before. but this one hurts a lot. so much actually.#we were both in the psych ward together as teens and exchanged facebooks to stay friends. she understood me on a level very few ever could#she had a tattoo inspired by a memory of us. we shared something I’ve never found with anyone else. and now she is gone.#i always hoped life would get easier for her. why doesn’t it get easier for such good people? questions my brain can’t comprehend#i hope she’s found the peace she was so cruelly denied here :/#I think i have cried until there are no more tears in my body rn#ramblings
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#think I need to delete TikTok#been on the bad side and been getting pro life debaters on my fyp#finally decided to go up and say something cause I was getting so annoyed and upset#OH BOY that was a bad decision#never ever doing that again#and this is why I can’t go out and be around normal people#I can’t even talk to a stranger online#I’m literally shaking and bawling right now#it’s 5:43am and I meant to go to bed like 3 hours ago#wanted to post on TikTok and see if I could get any $$ cause I’m desperate#but nah that ain’t gonna happen cause people suck and I hate everyone and anything I make would be shit#and I can’t do anything right#basically I was trying to explain that mental health comes into play too… that abortion isn’t just black and white#I should have known before I even tried that first of all he’s a male and he wasn’t listening to anyone talk#I just have so many things I want to say but no one to say them#and it was a smaller live so I was like why not and fuck that fuck that fuck that nope#too mentally ill for that 🙃#gonna try and go to bed and calm down my heart#sorry I haven’t been posting or on much…. been struggling more than words could ever express#php helped and I felt a glimmer of hope for a day and a half and ever since it’s just been a downward nonstop spiral#love you all and hope you guys are doing okay 🫶#just needed to vent lol and since I have no friends y’all get to hear it 👌#shut up rosie
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hi yeah yes this blog is dead buts the only one that still has reader insert content on it and I just gotta say like
What the fuck is up the with exclusivity of reader insert shit these days? If it's about a marginally attractive man all of a sudden its f!reader afab!reader (which should NOT BE INDICATIVE OF PRONOUNS????????? YOURE NAMING THEIR SEX, AND LABELING THE PHYSICAL SEX IF IT HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT LIKE THAT IMPLIES ITS GOING TO BE GENDER NEUTRAL AND THEN ITS NOT AND ITS IMMEDIATELY TRIGGERING FOR A LOT OF TRANS PPL LIKE MYSELF??)
Like it was very very common that reader insert content baseline be gender neutral unless requested otherwise that way everyone who finds the character attractive can enjoy it?? SOOOOO fucking fed up with this smh
Fandom space is supposed to be inclusive and ngl like. when you cater specifically and only to one set of pronouns with this kind of stuff its soo deterring to so many queer people
#sorry this has just been pissing me off so fucking much lately because every character i like reading about#over the past year or so is like. mear exclusively written with a fem perspective and that shit is infuriating#because if youre loterally just writing a oneshot that has no reason to be catered to a specific use of pronouns Why are you usinv them#like youre writing a hc about how they hug why is it Gendered#fucking christ sorry if this seems like.#yknow what no im not sorry actually#idk man i made a huge effort to make people feel included n thats just dropped off the face of the earth with some fandoms for fucking real#not calling out tf here havent been in that space in a minute#i AM calling out anyone that writes for jjk dc comics any part pedro pascal has played in media ever uhhhhhhh etc etc#im not saying the authors have ill intent or problematic#im just saying it perpetuates an exclusionary soace and makes people feel left out#and ngl.... as much is i love everyone joining sites and blah blah blah post pandemic and w the popularity of tiktok#yall need to fucking Learn fandom edicate that shit is so fucking infuriating#not all of u ofc but some of yall are so disrespectful#anyways hi!! bye <3#vent
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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Today I stood there in art class in my bright sunshine yellow paint jacket and with only a few days left of high school ever I thought about all the people I've known and what I've seen and I realized that after years of barely being able to ever stop hurting myself or to stay alive at all but always fighting and trying so hard to make sure nobody I could do something about ever had to go through the same things alone and all the nights I spent talking and texting calling and hugging and holding and begging people to live because there was so much for them and even if there was nothing here for me there was for them and they deserved so much better and pouring my love for them into my art and getting coated in little bits of paint that got on that jacket that only I had because only I'd lived that and made those things that I have become the girl in the yellow cardigan who says hey don't do it please and I remember being 13 and listening to that song and connecting to it because I was so young but I'd already started destroying myself and it was so stupid but it helped me and now I'm the girl in the yellow cardigan and I'm begging you all to live not for me but for you because you deserve to and you're more loved than you know and I hope when you see this you know that. I don't care who you are or how unimportant you feel I am talking to you. I love you and I want you to live and I can see the glory in you and its there and it may be buried but nobody can take away your human instinct to survive one more day and even though you hate it you have to listen please please please because I can't stand it when people die because inevitably when you try to take your life there will be one horrific moment where you feel yourself slipping past the point of no return and your whole body starts screaming at you to turn around because you realize there's so much left to do and you're not ready to say goodnight. I am the half a girl in your art class in the yellow cardigan absorbed in creation who wants to sit and listen to your every feeling and thought and will respond in anecdotes and word salad poetry and randomly placed ramblings about how I wish things were better for you and I might not always know but I will always try to understand and I will not leave you alone and I will painstakingly put symbols of you within my art so when you look really close and you catch it in the abstract mess you can know that I dedicated that time to thinking about you because you matter to me and even though I'm just some person you know I will sit and think and worry about you for hours and you will never know it but I really do care that much and I always care that much no matter what state I'm in and even if that makes no difference I still care I care I care so much and I do not want you to die. I am the girl in the yellow cardigan and I don't care if I can save myself I just want you to be alright and if helping you means I have to live then no matter who you are I will live so I make sure you do too. I am the girl in the yellow cardigan and if I can make even one more person live then my life will have been worth something. I am the girl in the yellow cardigan and I should be dead but I'm not and so maybe if you think you should be dead but I'm sorry you're wrong and you shouldn't because I care about you and there is so much more to live for. I am the girl in the yellow cardigan and I will not let you die alone
#thinking about a lot of things while drunk sorry about this one guys#i love you all. i love you all so much and if you ever need anything or you are scared or alone i will be here and i will try to get it#because promising to understand everything perfectly is bullshit#but promising to try is not. and i will always try and i will always listen because you are worth the effort#paci.txt#self destruction#self h@rm#cvtaddict#sh cvt#i want to cvt#vent#self destructive behavior#s3lf mutilation#self h@te#self h4te#actually adding tags to this on the off chance that it reaches someone who needs someone
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aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#brain is being weird again. i miss the person i thought you were before i found out how truly truly horrible you are#but that person doesn’t exist! i never met them because they aren’t real!#i just wanna meet my person yk. like yeah i don’t want to be in a relationship bc that sounds exhausting but also#it wouldn’t be exhausting if it was my person. i wanna know someone. i wanna learn how someone works.#i wanna take care of someone and be taken care of without asking.#and like the thing is is i definitely have my people in my friends like i already have them in this way#and i appreciate that so so much which is why i won’t settle for anything less ever again and why i’m no longer actively seeking something#but i really do just miss clicking that well with someone right off the bat. and i know most of it was probably 1) me being lied to and 2)#me trying to make myself palatable for him#but i haven’t felt that truly blatantly appreciated in a long time#i just wish that fate would work a little faster at putting my person into my lap is all#i’m not even gonna say that it doesn’t have to be The Person i’ll end up with and can just be One Of the people along the way#because now that feels like settling and if the universe doesn’t want me to settle then i won’t#and i’m not trying to be impatient because i know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to and i can’t force anything#i just want it to happen so badly. i want to have my cute love story. i want to have it last longer than a week. in a good way this time.#and i know i vent a lot about this in my tags but this time feels different#i just want what is supposed to happen to happen. and i want to feel comforted knowing that it will.#i just need a sign that it’s gonna happen someday so i don’t lose my mind waiting for it#that i’m in the right place. and i’m right where i’m supposed to be#idk. i just know i don’t deserve to feel alone anymore. especially when i know i’m not.#this feels like a prayer. maybe it is. whatever.#mari is irrelevant
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<3
#sry i just wanted to draw something for them. even though its not very good#was a bit hard to draw through tears. its been hard.#i need to vent in the tags so please pardon if its not smthn u want to read#ive been so struck with guilt for what i didnt do and what more i shouldve done. the pain of how alone i feel now#but they did so much for me. they were the only family i rlly had here. they helped me grow to be more responsible caring and loving#and i just am overwhelmed with how much they both meant to me and just how much love was shared. im so thankful to them for everything#theyve been with me for nearly half my lifetime!! it really felt like we were going to be together for an eternity.#i hope theyre doing well wherever they are now. i hope theyre getting to do everything they couldve ever wanted#its still really hard to process all of this and how everythings so different now. i miss them both so much.#i love you kitt. i love you stinky. always and forever <3
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I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops
#m thinking now and im like#i havent read ... anything consistently .. or watched anything .. or had time to like do anything#in genuinely so long#and i was like kinda becoming ok w it#my brain issues .. nothing matters i dont need anything all i need is me i dont need to have anyone or anything with me <- bad. stop it#part of this was the i need my dad to be proud of me braincell but well i win award i have 4.0 gpa and he still yell at me#deciding now to stop caring so much (i still do but ill ignore it) i need 2 be alive again i dont care#im so mad i dont even know .. im so viscerally angry like actually i dont even know what to do with that lmfao#my brother does shit all and u give him sm slack have NEVER treated him as bad as youve treated me#and nothing i do NOTHING is good enough or changes how u look at me#like idk he called me and i cried so much i got so fucking upset i fhkdhdkf ok. ok.#he will b like omg im so proud of u i love u so much ive always believed in u and i just think back to when#he yelled at me once like fiiive years ago and i was like u just make me feel so worthless all the time#and he was like yeah bc you are worthless#and im like hmmm idk bestie i dont think youve ever changed from looking at me like that and it is insanely obvious lmao#i dont even know bro im crazy. m insane got given an inch and tried to take a mile like omg i can actually be recognized as worth something#nevermind ill stop killing myself for that pipe dream now lol#m not even upset im just mad lmao i dont wanna hate my dad and i dont but every day i feel more and more like i should#vent
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If anybody wants an update on the precariously-close-to-failed democracy of Ohio, the Republican supermajority is attempting to keep the sitting president off of the November ballot on a technicality they created (and have previously bypassed when convenient).
These are the same people that tried everything in their power to keep an abortion initiative off the ballot despite swearing up and down it wouldn't pass anyway because they totally represent the average Ohioan's opinion on this matter so they KNOW Ohioans are against abortion, and when the measure DID get put on the ballot and Ohioans DID vote to protect abortion, they immediately said "This isn't over," because fuck the people's will.
I've said it before and I will continue to scream it until I'm red in the fucking face:
One party isn't perfect, but they have shown they value the most basic tenets of representative democracy.
The other party is pulling out all the stops to ensure we are a "democracy" in theory only.
#btw some of the worst republicans in the nation (tho not the most outrageous) are from ohio#before roe v wade was even being challenged every small town and conservative city#was starting to pass legislation banning it#'in the event' rvw was overturned#some of the shadiest most corrupt conservative politicians outside of texas are in ohio#and they are constantly overlooked bc 'it's ohio who cares'#despite being the 7th most populous state in the country it feels like almost no one ever acknowledges the fucked up shit that happens ther#it is extremely frustrating#i was crying on the phone to my bf once venting abt the shit i was seeing and hearing re:abortion#bc i genuinely believed (and still do) there was no way so many conservatives would start passing such bans#all at the SAME TIME#if they didnt have word that something was going on. that SOMEONE behind closes doors had hinted at something.#and i was told i was being paranoid. there's no way it wld be overturned.#that's what a bunch of blue state motherfuckers kept saying#and look what happened#and now these same blue state motherfuckers say they dont have/want to vote for biden#and it drives me insane#bc the kind of conservatives that have taken over ohio love that rhetoric.#and maybe this is bc im from a red state but i CANNOT STAND you stipid motherfuckers that take shit for granted#voting is the absolute bare minimum#when you dont do it and promote voter apathy#these are the peoppe you're letting win#and frankly giving in to voter apathy bc ur in a 'safe' blue state is despicable to me#bc ur potentially spreading that apathy to states that need voters that ARENT Christian fascists to get out and vote#and the onyl thing keeping some of the more despicable red governments in our country in check rn#WHETHER YOU WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT OR NOT#is Biden's administration#they are NOT equal and if you are genuonely making that argument im not being nice anymore u just have shit for brains#youve spent too much time engaging in rhetoric on the internet and have officially lost touch with reality#im.on mobile so I'm not fixing the typos in my tags fuck you
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