#but i just. keep. seeing. these posts. ugh. and it's not what i want to see.
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kwon as your boyfriend <3
a/n: whoops i broke my rule of only posting once a day lmao but idc this man is too fine to even regret this. if im gna write for ck it’ll probs be for only kwon i never really paid attention to the others ngl 😭🙏 maybe miguel (UPDATE I MEANT AXEL) too but idk ive seen fics n i think id make him ooc so bear w me lmao
we’re continuing with the overprotective partners squad™, starring bitches and bros and nonbinary hoes (ifykwim ILY) who just. are so down bad for their partners they’d do anything to keep them safe
this guy is one of the top ranked members 💯
although it is true, kwon is definitely protective over you– it depends however, as in, depending on how capable you are to defend yourself. this doesn’t only mean physically, verbally too.
if you are into karate and have the skills to pay the bills (another reference lmao), kwon won’t be as protective, as he himself acknowledges your strength and is very proud to let others know you are his partner.
if it’s the other way and you don’t do karate, it just increases his protectiveness– he won’t judge you for it or anything, but will offer to teach you some tricks in case of an “emergency” (basically him going to a match and won’t be there with you) so you can defend yourself, though you’d probably have a ‘guard’ with you lmao (yoon 💀)
very touchy, but more in private, and just an arm around your shoulders, back or waist in public. kwon would most likely give you his jacket too, as a sign for anyone not to mess with you
is so gentle with you behind closed doors; like full on holding your hand and pressing a soft kiss, holding your cheek and staring lovingly into your eyes, having you in his arms every time you kiss, he’s a whole different person when it comes to his partner, and obviously has a soft spot for you
teases a lot lmao. say, for example, you get jealous over someone walking over to him and ask for his number, kwon would quickly notice and be so smug with it– attempts to rile you up and see how long you can remain calm before before doing anything
won’t stop mentioning it too 💀 “aw, remember when you got jealous~? how cute.” will make it up to you though, by making out ‘til you aren’t mad anymore doing anything you want
lots of cuddling, kwon feels reassured and relaxed if you’re laying beside him– either having your head on his chest or on top of him (IN A NON DIRTY WAY STOP 💀), anything that includes you being close together = happy kwon
will defend your honor as many times necessary, this guy does not play when it comes to anyone badmouthing you in front of him, he won’t hesitate to kick their ass (literally)
always strives to cause a good impression to you. if you’re present during any of the tournaments he’s attending and such, kwon will be showing off lmao, that smirk on his face when he wins and sends a look your way
the longer you date, the more he’s sure you two will marry, in fact he’ll even bet his own life about it– kwon’s just that sure, he knows you won’t leave him, you’re stuck to him like glue and can’t run away 😭
“you can run but can’t hide from me” – kwon
“wanna bet about it” – you
uhhh what did you do lmao RUN
this man is too fine ugh how does he do it
#cobra kai#kwon jae sung#fluff#hes so hot chat#literally dehydrated rn /hj#kwon x reader#x male reader#x female reader#x gn! reader#giys pls get the references PLS#kwon jae sung x reader#meracyn#“we love kwon” we all say in unison
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im so sorry, i don’t even know how to explain myself at this point, consider this my apology for all the filthy nonsense i post here
so, this is a lil bonus to this post
nsfw (not really, but mentions of sex)
Ford is dead. Not literally (you check his pulse just to be sure), but emotionally and physically, this man has perished. Such a beautiful ruined mess underneath you, he’s sprawled out like a crime scene chalk outline, drenched in sweat, staring blankly at the ceiling as if questioning all his life choices.
But you’re not doing much better. Your legs shaking so much you can barely sit up, whole body feels like jelly and your brain isn’t working either. Somehow, you manage to flop next to Ford, throwing a limp arm over his scarred chest.
“Bravo, folks!” Bill exclaims. “what a show! Truly the pinnacle of human endurance and stamina! Sixer, gotta say, i missed seeing you like this, ah, the good old days!”
Ford groans faintly. “I hate you. . .”
“You’re so mean,” you mutter at Bill, glaring up at him with half-lidded eyes. “why’d you even join in? That’s not what we agreed on.”
The moment these words leave your mouth, you know you’ve fucked up. Ford’s body stiffens under your arm as his exhausted brain cells rapidly recalculating everything.
“What— what did you just say?” although his voice is hoarse from all sounds he made earlier, you still catch a note of seriousness in it. His head turns toward you in slow motion, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What do you mean. . . agreed on?”
You panic. “Wait, I mean, uh—”
“Oh, let me tell him!” Bill interrupts. “she’s talking about the little deal we made! you know, where I said, ‘hey, doll, wanna fuck your dusty old man to death?’ and she said, ‘of course, Bill, but no creepy tendrils, okay?’”
Ford looks like he’s been hit by a bus. “WHAT?”
You swear you feel yourself sweat from panic and embarrassment as you look at Bill in pure fear. “I thought you’d just watch! Not—”
Demon cuts you off with a laugh. “Oh, sure, you thought! And by the way, Sixer? these pathetic, desperate little whimpers, ugh, they’ll echo in my mind for eternity! I’ve waited so long to see you like that. A helpless, sloppy mess, both of you, my little huma—”
Ford's face flushes with either shame or anger, and you think he’s going to explode. But no. He pushes himself up, pushes himself up, the madman, and throws the sheet off in anger.
But Bill keeps. “I mean, you came so hard I’m surprised you didn’t pass out after the first round, old ma—”
Ford looks at that demonic creature. “That’s it. That’s it, Cipher, you’ve gone too far this time.”
You barely manage a “Ford, wait—” as he pulls on his boxers with surprising speed for a man who five seconds ago looked like he was on the brink of death.
“I’ll make you pay for this,” Ford declares dramatically. “Mark my words, Cipher, I’ll find a way to make you regret ever stepping into my house again.”
Both you and Bill fall silent, watching Ford’s boxers riding low on his hips as he marches out of the bedroom.
You watch your Ford walk away, eyes wide with panic, realising what just happened, but then your gaze goes lower. At that tattoo.
Flirty Gal.
Bill floats beside you, narrowing his single eye slyly. “I know what you’re looking at, doll.”
You glare at him, exhausted and annoyed. “I hate you.”
Cipher’s gaze flicks to the doorway Ford just walked through. “hate me all you want, but you've got good taste. Sixer's got a hell of an ass for an old man.”
“STOP TALKING.”
#ford deserves peace#bill deserves a leash#reader deserves therapy#but instead yall get this#im so sorry#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls#x reader#gravity falls x you#ford pines x reader#ford pines smut#stanford pines#billford#bill x reader#bill cipher x you#bill cipher x ford
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Style (Stan x Kyle) please?
Here's a doodle I will finish for patreon :,)
#asks#style always everyday#sorry guys i might restrict what i post here because i hate it when my art ends up on pintrest JFSHK#there's a tumblr official on there and it posts my art automatically? And it's annoying???#I'm there to search for poses and new artists#but it's so discouraging seeing it there and then the comments are all dinks lmao#it sucks because i like posting any and all south park art here like ships but omGod dude#people want to be weird about everything ugh im just here to have funnn#rant over i just have been overthinking about it but i'll be okay and just accept it eventually lmao#((Restrict as in I'll just keep doing fun art that makes me haha#I'm just waitin gfor the south park specials but I want to draw out the oc art i have in my sketchbook lmao#maybe make a speedpaint HDKSJ
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I have been thinking about this singular panel literally since I posted this earlier. Just. Ugh.
This is Viz's translation. Let me repeat: this is the official English translation. And that's how they chose to convey that line. Viz literally out here furthering the bisexual Akai agenda, even unintentionally. (Didn't think it was possible to make Gosho's characters even gayer.)
UGH. I guess I'm a ScotchRye shipper now. Because that's what's been on my mind all day. But to be clear, I'm probably more of a Whiskey Trio shipper because I'm not about to leave Rei out.
Listen I'm just saying. Hiro and Rei loved each other so much. SO MUCH. Hiro literally killed himself at least in part to protect Rei. UGH.
Rye and Scotch as sniper duo pls (yes I see you Iris and I agree). I can see them easily bonding. I can see Rye falling in love with him because he's Hiro (even if it's like. not quite Full Hiro.) and Hiro is so lovable. I can see Hiro seeing Rye's charms even if nobody else (Bourbon) does (or will admit to it).
RyeBourbon is also a yes for me. There's so much potential there. They constantly bicker, and I will not be convinced otherwise, even when it's inconvenient or there's an obvious Right Way Of Doing Things. Because that's how they communicate. Hiro just sort of sighs and shakes his head and humors it because he knows Rei and Rei's stubborn temper. And if this is also foreplay for them? Sure, that's fine, too.
Rei being absolutely devastated by Hiro's death and Rye apparent betrayal of both of them, but especially of Hiro. Because if Hiro has something going on with Rye, Rei knows about it. And that Rye would kill Scotch even despite that? Unforgivable. And then finding out that Rye was a NOC all along and supposedly killed Scotch to further his standing?? All hell breaks loose. Hell hath no fury, and all that.
Akai can't even bring himself to drink scotch anymore after Scotch's death. He "loves scotch as much as bourbon" but it's too painful. The ghost still lingers. His devastation is quieter, of course. And all he can do now to make up for his mistake, for his part in Hiro's death, is do his best to keep Bourbon safe. Even when Bourbon wants him dead.
Could he try to clear the air and tell Bourbon the truth of what happened that night? Yes, yes he could. Is he going to? Absolutely not. Because that might actually kill Rei.
They'll reconcile eventually. It'll be hard, maybe the hardest thing either of them have done, laying Hiro's ghost to rest. Leaning on each other, maybe never quite fully moving on. They both love him, after all. They always will. But they can love each other, too, and hang onto what they still have. Rei can tell Akai stories of when they were kids, have him know more about the man Hiro truly was. Akai can tell Rei about how, even when it was just him and Scotch, Rei was never far from Scotch's mind. Even if he didn't know it at the time, he knows now, how sometimes Scotch would just have the sweetest little smile, and he must have been thinking of Rei.
And if they both silently make promises to Hiro to keep each other safe? Well, that's between them and Hiro.
I'm fine, I promise. I'm not fine, how did I end up here?
Anyway. ScotchRye is fine I guess and I have no feelings on the matter.
Neither of them are handling the divorce well tbh.
#help i'm going to make myself cry#the tragedy THE TRAGEDY#i'm not okay#detective conan#whiskey trio#scotchrye#akam#hirorei#morofushi hiromitsu#furuya rei#akai shuuichi
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.
#I see people posting like Louis tour pics and such on my dash again. just a little.#and I keep thinking oh look that's nice. and I wonder if people would be made happy if went back to regular posting#but everytime I think about just ...posting a bunch of pictures of Louis...#I think about what he's going through and how fucking sad he is right now#and how things are NOT happy and wonderful for him#and ugh idk it just feels too weird#sorry#it shouldn't like... we're always at such a huge remove from their lives that the idea that what they are currently feeling is#somehow relevant to our fanning is complete narcissism like I'm aware we never know#and we're ALWAYS out of step#but right now I DO know and it just makes me feel weird idk#we've been here before#and time heals all things#but I'm not there#absolutely NOT judging anyone for any posting choices they are making!!!! maybe I even appreciate it#just where *I* am at#more than ever I wish I could do something for Louis make things better#but yet again... I cannot. and it's painful.#especially with how much I've been thinking about that with Liam how all of that years of concern and wanting to make things better#ultimately did not effect shit
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The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 7: A. A. Dixon
"'Collins' Clear-Type Press, let me ask you a question.'"
This is a very long post.
This week's edition has, in my research, become quite the edition.
Sadly, this image is the best source for the cover wrapper illustration that I could find.
You are likely familiar with Arthur Augustus Dixon's illustrations for the 1905 Collins Pocket Edition of A Tale of Two Cities. Several of them are very common to find in Internet searches and articles about the book, if not other editions of the book itself.
But the question raised by my research for this week's edition is: Are you familiar with all of them?
Thing is, as the source above states (read the whole article if you have the time, it's very interesting!), Dixon created twelve illustrations for this novel.
And sure enough, this source from the Internet Archive and this source from @oldillustrations (hello!) both have eleven of the same illustrations - with the twelfth presumably being for the wrapper, as seen in this source (previously cited) from the Victorian Web.
Alright, so that's three separate sources, all with (effectively) the same set of elaborate illustrations from 1905. Neat!
...
...but if you start counting...
...you'll notice that this seems...
...like a lot more than twelve!
Basically, there are five illustrations by A. A. Dixon that are completely unaccounted for in any of the three sources previously cited.
For the purposes of this post, the cover wrapper is considered #0 and is not pictured in these banners.
In full-size set of illustrations in this post, this source from Google Books is the source of four of those mystery illustrations:
#3: "'He stared at her with a fearful look.'" #6: "'Drive him fast to his tomb.'" #7: "He said, 'Farewell!'" #12: "'She appeared with folded arms.'" #9 ("'Patriots and friends, we are ready!'") and #11 ("'You are consigned to La Force.'") are sourced from Google Books in the full-size versions in this post simply because the Internet Archive versions of those two illustrations had cropping issues.
To me, this is mystery enough on its own. Why would another version of the book suddenly have more than the originally-stated number of illustrations by this artist? Especially considering that the Google Books source does not have #13 ("''I know you, Evremonde!''") - why would it be missing one of the "main" set?
It gets even more interesting.
As you'll notice in the banner, we're still one off: Keen-eyed observers of the full-size set of illustrations might have already noticed that #14 ("'Carton and the spy returned.'") looks a bit different than the rest of them - a bit like what happened in the previous edition of this series!
That's because that Dixon illustration comes from this completely random source - a post from a blog called the Paperback Palette dating back to 2018 - that I happened across on Google Images of all places while sitting on an airplane trying to set up this post last week!
And to top it all off, that source is missing #6!
At this point, if your first instinct is, reasonably, that perhaps Dixon didn't actually illustrate these extra five and that it was someone imitating him for later editions, then know that that was my instinct too - until I (dare I say it again) checked those signatures!!!
(I edited the colors to prevent flashing.)
All five of those illustrations bear Dixon's signature, so it's safe to assume that they are A. A. Dixon originals - from 1905, even.
Interestingly, #s 1, 10, 13, 15, and 16 don't have signatures! Does this mean anything? Probably not - as an artist myself, I often forget to put my own signature - but still, I can't resist mentioning it!
So the most likely explanation here is simply that the publishing house originally commissioned A. A. Dixon for more than twelve illustrations and then held on to some of them, eventually choosing to publish them in other editions. Still, we can't say for sure.
And as to why some are missing from the more "complete" sets - human error, most likely!
If you scrub through the Google Books source, you'll notice that #s 11 and 12 actually repeat (one even changes color, which I have no explanation for) - it's most likely either that the book was accidentally printed with repeats of #s 11 and 12 where 13 and 14 were supposed to go or that the person scanning this edition made a similar error.
As an aside, it's so interesting that the illustrations are evenly spaced throughout the book - I had not noticed that until now!
And as for the Paperback Palette source, it's most likely that the blogger accidentally skipped over an image while combing through their edition or just glossed over it when posting the batch (I understand that from experience!) We can see this by adding up the letters in some of the illustrations' captions - doing so reveals that the letters are meant to go to P, the sixteenth letter of the alphabet.
Thus, one must be missing! Case closed!
Except... It's actually (going by both the chronology of the book and the order in which this set was found in Google Books) missing the wrong letter! Here, it seems that In the Google Books source, #7 in the full set is given the seventh letter in the alphabet, G - whereas in the Paperback Palette source, "#7" is labeled as the sixth, F:
This implies not only that #6 is absent from the Paperback Palette source but also that there is a missing mystery illustration located between this source's H and K - that is to say, before or after #9!
EXCEPT... For one, this isn't the only inconsistency I've noticed - there are several places where the letters seem shifted in a strange way. I've seen #2 listed as "C" and #9 listed both as "H" and "I2i" (???), just as two examples. (My theory is that the cover wrapper and the frontispiece may be at play here, but who knows?)
More importantly, though, it seems that, for some mysterious reason, all of the sources with relatively consistent use of these letters (i.e. all but the Victorian Web) - even the sources with only eleven interior illustrations - still give #15 in the full set the fifteenth letter, O. Which, of course, may make all of this pretty moot anyway.
Dare I say..."Oh."
Suffice it to say, just as much as major sources like the Internet Archive and Google Books are vital to this sort of research and preservation work, so are smaller websites and bloggers! After all, without the Victorian Web and the Paperback Palette, we as collective netizens likely wouldn't have ever known about the cover wrapper or illustration #14 (not to mention that the versions of the illustrations from the set posted by @oldillustrations have by far the best image quality and standardization that I've found! Please go check them out if you haven't yet!).
As for the reasons behind Collins' Clear-Type Press not publishing all of the illustrations from the beginning (if that's the explanation we're to go with here), I suppose the question I'd like to ask is:
why? why would you put us through this?
& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:
This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫
#A Tale of Two Cities#AToTC#dickens#charles dickens#bookblr#litblr#literature#classic literature#victorian literature#vintage illustration#illustration#illustrators#A. A. Dixon#1900s#UGH oh my GOD oh my GOD this one#like. hours. so many hours.#You Can See Why I'm Late With This One I Think#so yeah based on the pretty consistent thing with the letters I do believe there are very simply 16 interiors & a cover wrapper and no more#but Still like. why. whywhywhy couldn't they just be consistent#and again Why Why Why don't all of the versions just have all of the illustrations!! like hello! What Is Going On#maybe it Is significant that not all of them have Dixon's signature...but even then that raises so many questions#I'm also of course gonna keep my eye out for that cover wrapper because I want to see it in full and it does also confuse me#also check out number16 in a lot of those sources because there's a halo effect on Carton's head that isn't super visible in the one I used#anyway. 1) yes I accidentally said this was the 8th when it's the 7th 2) this month features a two-parter!#3) the results of the previous poll were a tie between Congratulatory and A Plea. the latter of which was my vote so nice work everyone#4) I'm either gonna skip the off-week's post this week and do it double for next time or just post it later in the week this week#so. until next time! & enjoy!
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2024 Singapore GP | x
#hi everyone I'm sorry I vanished for a few days#this weekend has been hard here with irl family things and in my heart in the world of F1#I feel so so so so much for Daniel and I keep riding a roller coaster of anger that RBR let this happen and sorrow if this is it#then I swing back to hope#not just in 2025 (which I still believe in!!)#but that he can find joy and fufillment and love somewhere better#he deserves so much better than the callously cruel weekend from a sport he's given so much of his life to#I'll be a Daniel fan no matter where he goes next#but my trust in RBR is irrevocably shattered as it is for many (not that I had much to begin with!)#but he was thrown to the wolves and I'm just so angry and heartbroken this happened#but then the possible last lap of his potential last race given to Max#thank you Daniel#and I'm hopeful til the end#I hope he gets what he wants but he deserves so much love#and seeing the love from fans and the people in his life who DO care#I'm a newer fan but I have become so fond for Daniel so much and the anticipation is killing me#let him and fans have peace (even if the goal is Checo retiring after the Mexico GP then at least give some closure for the month between)#just a hard weekend#and the FIA absurdity with Max too ugh#and Carlos' crash in quali ahhh just an awful weekend#with that and an overwhelming family weekend I just couldn't bring myself to post anything#but thank you everyone for this space#I need to catch up but I have seen so many folks echo how I feel#it is upsetting and needless and uncerimonious and cruel#I'll be hopeful forever there is a chance#but Daniel deserves to be happy and RBR proved how heartless of a place they can be#I'll savor the silver linings of Max and Daniel's bond and those on the team who lifted him up#I'll be away again for a work event today but I looked around insta a bit last night#I'll post and tag for the GP if anyone wants to not see it!! still hurts but it'll all be okay in time I know it ❤️#autumn posts
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could
#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does#i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY#HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY#OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited...#turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was#always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me#i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY#we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it#i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow )#& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together#we even talked about finding moids ugly#it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^#talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL#i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do#also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women#& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT)#i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy#to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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i genuinely don't think a story's worldbuilding and lore has ever drawn me in the way that check please did. it's been years and i still think about it every day. the characters and plot were always superb but i think what has stuck with me the most is the depth of the settings and how everything feels so lived in and tangible. everyone wants to make a fake world and town and university but no one else has EVER done it that well
#like the college setting especially is so delicious to me#there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about the campus map and the building names and the haus and the stop and shops#ugh i need hardcore analysis injected into my damn veins#also this could be it's own post. but#the generations of players and how every fan has different people that really speak to them#like i'm not a huge kent/tater or dex/nursey fan and honestly am pretty ambivalent to jack/bitty#(don't take this the wrong way)#but i LOVE ransom and holster and shitty and lardo#and even some of the other characters like bully and tango though i admit the later years don't hit as hard for me as the first couple#i just love that everyone finds something to go batshit over#the attention to detail was just so so incredible and still for SURE holds up#no matter what aspect#i was never super directly involved in the fandom but when i think back on formative pieces of media for me as a person and as a writer#i don't think that there are many things that compare#if you've read my writing i don't think it's hard to see the correlation at all#also if you want to talk check please analysis (or can rec me others' analysis!!!) i'd be forever grateful#otherwise i'm just going to keep marinating forever#omgcp#check please#omg check please
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damn i kinda dont like it here anymore
#will still post when i get back to skyblock but i've been on break for like a week now and Do Not wanna go back yet#and on the mcyt side... ew#keep getting gut-wrenching feelings every time i look at my notes and have to see your guys' icons#i take back what i said initially seeing wilbur makes me ill i want nothing to do with him#reblogs old posts etc NOTHING. im not mass deleting bc again archive or whatever but he will NOT be back here as of now#so like. yall with the c!wilbur icons. cut that shit out. please consider how it makes other people feel lmao#none of that separating the character and creator shit I Dont Want To See Him. ANY of him. i dont care if ''it's not him''#goes for other nasty ppl but sbi-adjacent ppl are more likely to be the ones interacting with me. so more relevant#you're free to do whatever YOU want im not saying you HAVE to change your icon. but you'll probably get blocked at least by me lol#idk how everyone else is taking it bc i follow like 2 mcyt accounts nowadays but that's how i feel. i dont want him here anymore#it's like this stuff keeps following me around it feels impossible to avoid while i run this account#ugh#maybe one day this account will finally get set to private and TRULY be Just An Archive
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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yk what. i'm gonna say it.
i hope pcy1 comes soon. we need new things to talk about besides how hot he looks like oooomg i am sooooo tired of that i want his MUSIC ok i want to LISTEN to him damnit
#yeah i'll risk sounding like a fake-deep bitch buT goD it's bugging me so much#like. i know there is not a lot of content to freak out over. and getting scoops here and there has to be celebrated.#but it annoys me that all i read it shit like ''he looks so hot. he is so buff. omg his muscles. damn we need daily gym updates.#he is so sexy. he is so daddy. he can crush me.''#i should just look away i know. people are allowed to say these things. and usually it doesn't bother me as much really?#but i just. keep. seeing. these posts. ugh. and it's not what i want to see.#like ''omg we need a chanyeol gym vlog'' NO SHUT UP WE NEED A CHANYEOL SOLO ALBUM PRODUCTION DOCUMENTARY.#random starchild noises#don't kill me for this one ok. i am allowed to have a opinion too.
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old man yells at cloud about constant sequels
#i wantttttt to like the beetlejuice sequel (just saw the trailer) and i don't want to be a hater. however#i dont knowwwww i mean theres a lot of callbacks to the original. which is good. its just#maybe its seeing some of these same effects done in cgi. or something#like it just looks like every other modern movie except w some of that beetlejuice imagery#im assuming the sandworms are cgi. bring back the claymationnnn bring back practical effectssss#idk im just really getting to hate the way movies nowadays look that are likely shot digitally and are just so subdued color wise#is any of this making sense.#like thinking of the original beetlejuice like whoa the colors were popping! greens reds purples!#and theyre so important and tied to the look of the movie and how it sticks in your mind#(im sorry. beetlejuice has always been one of my favorite movies. but anyway)#and now the sequel just looks ehhhh. you know#also we still should have had beetlejuice goes hawaiian instead. if we had to have a sequel#plus the story of the sequel seems so dependent on the story of the first movie like is there going to be anything original?#what made the first movie so good was not only was it a fun different storyline of these ghosts and everything#but it was also a good satire of the yuppies of that era as well as the idea of the afterlife and ghosts and all that. which was different!#im probably not making all of my points clearly and this doesnt really matter anyway but anyway#i need movies to be standalone movies. i dont want everything to be part of a series#i dont want beetlejuice to be called beetlejuice 1#bc then ill be saying 'back in my day we had only one beetlejuice'#LIKE. yes some movies are really good and you could watch a whole tv show more with the characters in that movie#but it doesnt actually have to be made. thats for you to imagine in your mind#like wow i love those characters in beetlejuice. i wonder what it would be like going forward for these people to live with ghosts#but thats for you and your imagination!!!! ugh i dont know is any of this making sense i ask again. i keep trying to wrap up this post#but im very passionate about films and as i think about my own main movie idea/screenplay#i love my characters and i could put them in dozens of scenarios that would be very funny for them to deal with#but i dont think they need a five film series. the one movie is enough for the main storyline#ok im going to eat something. enough bitching from me about the current state of film
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going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.
#guys i need therapy#not that itll work#it wont#the last one didnt#and the ones before didnt but my mom only let me do one or two session each for those so i dont fault them#its been years tho so maybe?#idfk#i dont really care#i do#i probably do im just tired#yall know what type of tired#ugh i should really keep my vent posts to my vent blog so people dont have to see them#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months#my foot just fell asleep#yall lukcy i dont have a gun#i lied about quiting my job btw#something came up and it got complicated#it might turn out good tho#probably not#but if it does i might be able to move out and room with my oldest friend#oldest as in time known#not age (im older by like four months hehe(and like a head shorter but we dont talk about that shh))#but that would also mean rent which means philly will take a lot longer#and also ill have to look for shops in a whole other city so im putting off quiting for another month or two or three maybe#i dont like change. i dont like genuinely regularly thinking 'id rather die' to things that i really do want#tw vent#thats probably important#i dont like decisions#did you guys know Animal Jam got shut down?#i miss my necklace. everything else seems so- not barbaric but maybe unclean. which i guess is appropriate
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