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bonefall · 10 months ago

Note

I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

#ALSO also I will take suggestions on other characters who should have prosthetics #Sunlit makes sense and it will make a really nice character moment later for him to have one built #There's also an amputee in RiverClan few people talk about called Stonestream #I can give him one and bump him up into a bigger character. In BB he is the sibling of Willowshine #BB!DOTC #better bones au #Also just as a side note... I love writing BB!Skystar. My ire for the character comes from his redemption arc so I feel like I get to--#--write the character I WANTED to see #Same with Bramble in other BB arcs #cw ableism #tw ableism #ableism #They're fascinating in that they always have to see themselves as the victim or the hero #They believe every lie they tell.#If you ever catch them in a contradiction they will still try to find some way to turn it on you and YOUR lack of understanding.#Interestingly both of them are ableist. Sky's is just more obvious because he's LOUDLY bigoted.#But BB!Bramble is *notably* less close to Jay for a very sad and very subtle reason.#Jay just doesn't serve his ego like the others do until much later in his life.#unfortunately most bigotry is like that.#the type you have a hard time calling out because it's a deniable bias. the constant gaslighting of being part of a marginalized group #Maybe I need to address the criticism by adding a character with a prosthetic to THIS arc even earlier #Problem is that like... Thunder's small merc group is already full of disabled characters and their THING is forming in response to ableism #OH maybe I'll put someone in the Forest Cat group which is lead by Slash?#I need to finish that last book and then gather up all the cats for sorting into allegiances

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soupgoose · 2 years ago

Text

I’m Right Here

Summary : After weeks, the Captain of the Invincible had still not woken from their Cryopod. And while most of the crew has lost hope, Mark, now as Acting Captain still held on to the thought that they would. Was it denial, or a foolish hope that his beloved Captain would wake up? Possibly. But whatever was going on in his head wasn’t going to change their fate. And Mark hadn't left their side. No one wanted their Captain to stay asleep forever, but in this state, they weren't really alive either.

Genre : Hurt/Comfort, Angst (with a happy ending)

Word Count : 2500

Paring : (Sort of) Head Engineer Mark / [Gender Neutral]Captain, Captaineer

TW: I’ll add these since there is mention of being in a comatose state and self-blame but that’s it!

A/N: I'M BACK BABY

No jokes, I have returned from my unofficial hiatus (cough-burn out-cough) and I am ready to write again! First time writing 2nd person for a fic, so please let me know how I can improve. Slightly shorter than how I prefer my writing, but I didn't want it to drag.

I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading! As always, if you have any ideas or critiques for how I can improve in the future, please let me know!

Happy reading! -Soup :D

“Hey, Mark? ‘You in here?” Gunther called out from the doorway.

The engineer sat alone in the small break room, hands in a fist held in front of his face. His expression was difficult to read as most of the lights were turned off. A few emergency lights at the corners of the room dimly lighting the man's figure.

“Mark…” Celci spoke quietly, a contrast from how she typically spoke to him.

Only receiving a quiet sigh from him, she exchanged a nod between herself, Gunther, and Burt. Burt stepped in, flicking the light switch by the room’s entrance. Mark winced at the sudden brightness, covering his eyes with his hands. He sniffed, turning his head towards them, “I’m guessing nothing new then?”

The man's eyes were glossy and red, now shimmering under the fluorescent lights. There were marks left from tears that had fallen from his eyes, leaving only the path that they took down his face.

“Well, they’re vital signs are stable, but they’re still sleeping.”

The corners of his mouth fell into a deeper frown, his eyebrows furrowed as he closed his eyes. His knuckles rested against his forehead as his thumbs pressed at the space in between his brows.

“We know that that’s not the news that you wanted to hear, Mark. But at the very least, they are still healthy…”

His brown eyes looked focused at the table in front of him. Only looking up when Gunther came over to stand next to him. He looked wordlessly at his friends, all sharing the same worries he had. “They’ve been “healthy, for almost a month.” he started, “What if-” he fought hard against the knot that formed at the base of his throat, “-What if they don’t-” stopping himself, he turned away from them as he attempted to clear his throat.

The four knew what he wanted to ask, even though he had already done so many times before.

Even when he already knew that their answer wouldn’t change. He just didn’t know what else to say.

He took a moment to collect himself before clearing his throat, “It’s been three weeks… how much longer do you think we should wait?”

Celci gathered a breath, “We don’t know. It's- we're worried that if we force them out of cryo sleep, their vitals and brain functions would suffer. But then again, if we wait too long, we aren't sure if they’ll be able to- ehhem- We’re not sure how much damage Cryo is doing to them as it is.” Her voice began to falter. Celci was known as a hard and calculated person, though she had her moments, but her mood had taken the same turn that everyone else’s had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After arriving at their final destination, while every other crew member had woken up to begin work on starting the new colony, their Captain remained asleep.

In the beginning, no one was particularly worried. Cryo sleep can often be difficult to emerge from, especially taking into consideration how long the individual had been out for.

However, as days began to pass, more and more of the crew began to grow concerned. The Captain hadn’t shown any signs of progression in waking up. And their vital scans remained consistent with how they were when they had first entered the cryo pod.

The only distinguishable detail was that they'd showed a small spike every so often, similar to when a person enters REM sleep.

After 5 days, the leads from every division of the crew had gathered for a meeting. Without the guidance of the Captain, they decided that the four main crew leads, Mark, Celci, Gunther, and Burt, would take over leading the building faze of the colony, until the Captain emerged. Since Mark was the head engineer, and had been in charge for the creation of the Invincible 2, he was appointed as the temporary Captain. While the other three had to be involved in all decisions, his word was final.

Two and a half weeks have passed since then.

Was it denial, or a foolish hope that his beloved Captain would wake up? Possibly. But whatever was going on in his head wasn’t going to change their fate. Mark hadn't left their side. His coworkers had found him multiple times asleep leaned up against the cryopod’s door. The three had tried to convince him that he should try to let them go, but he always refused. No one wanted their Captain to stay asleep forever, but in this state, they weren't really alive either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m going to go see them.” He said, getting up from his spot.

“Mark… I- We know you don’t want to think about it, but the longer we wait, there will only be a higher likelihood of there being more damage.”

Ignoring them, he began to walk past.

“Come on Mark, we need to talk about this.” Gunther spoke firmly, grabbing him by his sleeve.

“I just need a second!” Mark's eyes had an irritated gleam to them. “...Please.”

Burt placed his hand on Mark’s arm before looking back at Gunther. Gunther’s hand dropped back to his side with a sigh.

“Another few minutes won’t change anything. I just need to collect my thoughts, okay?”

The group hesitantly let him go. They needed to decide soon. And they needed Mark to be the one to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their Cryopod had been moved to a quieter, more isolated and sterile part of the ship. An old additional medical bay was preferable to the front control room. With less foot traffic, the Captain’s attendants could better maintain and focus on taking care of them.

The room was a bit darker as well. So long as they didn’t leave the monitor screens on full brightness.

Mark found it to be… comforting? More relaxing, maybe? As the acting Captain, he found that the crew had taken an interest in talking and meeting with him more than they used to. He would probably have enjoyed the extra attention, if it weren't for the current circumstances.

On top of having to run a growing colony and managing all of the new affairs of his current job, he was bombarded with questions, including the ones that he didn’t have answers to, and the ones didn’t want to answer. “Mark, are there any updates on the Captain’s condition?”

“Have you and the team come up with a plan?”

“Are they dead?”

But here, as grim and morbid as it may be, he found an ounce of peace. Even though it was accompanied by a deep and profound sadness.

“Hey, Cap’n…” He greeted them quietly. Although there was no response, he still paused for one.

He sat with his back pressed against the wall adjacent to their Cryopod, so he could maintain a close distance to them, while also being able to see the cold blue doors.

“Now I get why you don’t like all of the crew's attention. I mean yeah, some of it’s nice, but all of the time? I understand why you like being alone.” He said before chuckling to himself briefly. He could almost hear their laughter.

As he did everyday, he relayed any updates and reports there were. Including any funny stories if they happened. He felt that it was his duty, since he wasn’t really the Captain. He needed to keep them up to date on what was going on with their colony. That roll still belonged to them after all, they had earned it.

He sat with them for a long time in silence. Well, kind of silence. Their heart and oxygen monitors, along with the various other beeps bops, were present in the background.

Eventually, he continued,

“C.C and the team want me to come up with a decision. I just, don’t think I can. I don’t want this to be a lost hope yet. I want to believe that you’ll wake up one of these days, and then everything will just go back to the way things were…”

“But… I don’t know how long that will take, Cap.” His voice wavered, and he forced out a hard sigh.

“I don’t know how to do this without you. I trust you more than anybody, more so than myself… I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have tried to blame you. I- I shouldn’t have tried to be the hero…I was so reckless…now you-"

He brought his knees up to his chest as tears started to well in his eyes.

He scoffed, burying the quiver in his voice with a brief cough.

He looked up at one of their monitors. From what he had remembered it was one of the ones that showed some of their brain functions. He had asked to be present though the majority of the Captain’s "check-ups". While he denies it, there wasn’t anything that he wasn’t there for, despite the crew’s suggestions for him to “Let them do their work in peace.” He never really left the Captain’s side so long as he could help it.

Through that he had gleaned a bit of an understanding of what all the peaks and dips meant on the screen. He watched closely at the lines, taking note of what he believed to be them entering a state similar to REM.

"I wonder what you're dreaming about Cap." he started, "I hope it's something nice. Like a quiet beach or a cabin, where nothing matters… just peace…"

A small smile almost broke through his frown, imagining his dearest friend somewhere peaceful for the first time in multiple eternities.

Then reality hit him again. “It's my fault, isn’t it?” He asked in a quiet voice. “Everything we went through- It was my fault. The warp-core…The loops… It was all my fault. All you did was try to clean up my mess. You believed in us, you believed in me, and all I gave you in return was nothing but blame and hate.”

“How could you forgive me?”

For a while after that, he sat there, quietly sobbing into his knees. Out of every person on the Invincible, no one wanted the Captain to wake up more so than himself. He needed to apologize to them. To talk to them again. Face to face.

He didn’t need them to forgive him. Frankly, he wouldn't care if they never wanted to see him again after that. He just needed to know that they were alive. That all of their efforts had mattered.

From inside, unknown and unnoticed, a new movement stirred. Their stiff and sore body rose from its rest, their muscles trying to stretch within the limited room. They let out a stifled yawn, rubbing the sleep away from their eyes. Their hands moved to rub small circles into their neck, wincing every so often when finding a particularly sore spot.

Confused, they tapped at the screen in front of them, after having gotten used to the monotone voice waking them up, the quiet was unnerving. Through their slight shiver, they heard a very muffled and desperate voice from beyond the blue walls.

As they reached for the door they stopped abruptly.

“C-captain… I’m so- so sorry Captain. I should have trusted you more. I just- I need you-I need you to wake up, tell me what I should do…”

They were taken aback, surprised at hearing him sound so upset. Especially over them. How long had they taken to wake up? Why was Mark so desperate for their advice? Had their plan worked? Was all of this finally over? Were they finally free from the constant repeats and agony?

Continuous questions raced through their mind, only halting when they heard Mark speak again.

“We need you back, Captain. I need you….”

Their voice was hoarse, just barely able to call out to him as the words scratched against their vocal cords.

He hadn’t heard them.

“I can’t keep going like this- you’re supposed to be the captain, not me. I didn’t sign up for this. I never thought that you wouldn’t be able to lead. Why would I-”

They tried to call out to him again, a little louder. They tried the door, pushing against it, but their body still hadn’t regained all of its strength. It was still not enough

A few corridors down, Celci and the other cryo-engineers received a shocking notification.

"Holy shit."

"Please wake up…" his words were weak and desperate. "Captain please, just wake up."

Frustrated, they reached up to hit the emergency release latch, and the Cryopod door swung open.

Their knees almost hitting the ground before catching themselves. They squinted at the brightness from the screens flashing with warnings. Sterile air hitting their lungs as they caught their breath. Though heavily disoriented, they heard a small voice from behind them.

“Captain?”

The captain turned to look at their distressed partner. He looked so small, so… hopeless.

The flashing lights illuminated the streaks of tears that followed the curve of Mark’s face.

He was speechless, his eyes wide with shock. Unsure if he was dreaming this, or if all of his wishes suddenly were answered. Their face looked unscathed, their features just as he remembered them from when they first arrived on the Invincible. No bruises or cuts, they looked… alive.

He was expecting anger, hate, something to lash out on him at any moment. And the longer they stared, the harder he braced himself. Whatever was coming, he felt he deserved it.

After what felt like an eternity, they moved, taking a small step towards him.

“Mark?” the captain asked in a voice just above a whisper, “Is that you?”

As they inched closer, Mark instinctively brought his hands up, almost on guard.

He wanted to answer, but every word that came to mind got caught in his throat.

Only able to whimper, “Captain. I am so, so sorry…” He couldn’t stop more tears from pouring over and down his face, and a river of emotions raged. “I am so, so, sorry. I-I thought I- I thought you weren't going to wake up. I thought I had ki-”

“It was all my fault.” he sobbed. “I don’t care if you never want to see me again, I just needed to know that you were okay. So, please go ahead. Yell, scream, just do something! I can take it-” he stopped mid-sentence.

The Captain looked horrified. Years of memories and trauma lingered at the forefront of their mind, all of it pointing at the respective catalyst. Everything they went through, each ounce of pain should have made them so terribly mad at the engineer. It would have been so easy to let it consume them, let all of that rage take control and let loose on the poor man…

But they couldn’t.

Mark wasn’t aware of the opening door, or the gasps from the doorway. He could only feel their warm arms, and the steady sound of their heart-beat coming from their chest. Caught off guard, it took him a solid few seconds for him to react. The way their arms wrapped around him, the way they held the back of his head to their chest… They weren't mad at him at all.

Holding them back tightly, and burying his head deeper into their chest, he felt so relieved.

They were alive.

Through his shaky breaths and sobs, he heard the voice he realized just how much he had missed.

“I’m right here, Mark."

“I’m right here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

YIPEE I FINALLY GOT THIS THING OUT OF MY DRAFTS!!!

In all seriousness, thank you for reading. I know I’ve been absent from tumbler lately, however, I’m planning on hoping right back into writing! I have quite a few more WIPs that I plan on posting relatively soon (wink wonk) and I can’t wait for you all to see them!

If if you have any ideas or critiques for how I can improve in the future, please let me know! Thank you again.

Happy Reading!

-Goose :D

#markiplier #markiplier egos #iswm #iswm head engineer #iswm captain #captaineer #iswm x reader #angst with a happy ending #2nd person pov #gender neutral #I'm so happy to have this done #I swear #I dunno I had this idea in my pebble brain for like 5 months before I finally sat down to finish it #screaming #but in a good way

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