#but i have such a full life with the ppl around me
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so considering, um, today.... can we get some fluffy papercut hcs?? maybe them comforting each other??
i feel like i think about them more when im rlly stressed so yall were gettin these hcs regardless LMAOOOO
•as a joke, curly would just make stuff up that ppl do in his culture just to see how far he can go before ponys like “ok now ik ur lying🙎🏻♂️” and ponys so accepting too so ikkkkk hes gotten pretty far w it
•they take their pinkie promises seriously i just know they do,,,
•is curly secretly super smart??? no, BUTTT i do think that around ppl he likes, mainly pony and somewhat angela, he overplays his stupidity, just to rile em up for funsies, but he knows that they know he’s not that stupid and hes happy for that, its like he can let go w 0 consequences
•curlys hair is actually relatively long, pretty much longer than ponys actually and pony has a habit at SOFTLY pulling curlys hair to take a look at it (w curlys permission duh) , curly finds it very comforting and it makes him sleepy but hes never admitting to that
•pony has pretty chubby cheeks (his FACE!!!! i mean his face!!!!!) and curlys always squeezing them, does pony stop him??? sometimes, only sometimes, he likes how warm curlys hands r
•curly is so touch starved its not even funny, any touch from pony (pause on that) makes him feel better, usually touches from others that aren’t family came from like hook ups n such, so the way pony touches him is different and while hes scared cause “woahhhhh vulnerability and im actually being seen for me” but he likes it too much to just pull away,
•they dont say i love u, maybe they do but its more if a casual “love ya” w an eye roll in a teasing manner, BUT THEY DO MEAN IT!!!! howeverrrr if u wanna get them to ACTUALLY b more soft, the way they say it is by saying something along the lines of “for u??? why not”
•there was a time where pony gave curly his hoodie to share after curly got into an argument w tim and didnt get his jacket before he left, did they get sick???? yeaaaaa, but hey its the thought that counts, curly did appreciate it a lot
•they cant play footsies for the life of em bc both of them have a bit of lower body strength and they will both leave w bruises on their legs
•me saying they never hold hands was a half lie, they do but its never a full hand hold and its almost never in front of others
•they BOTH have to defend the other when someone asks y theyre dating “him”, im sick of pretending its only pony who has to defend curly, a lot if ppl see pony as a wimp brah
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I love queer stories I love reading about love and finding love and falling in love.
I want it so badly I want to have a partner and fall in love and have someone who is interested in learning me and we can learn to love each other the way we need. And the older I get the more the ache is there, this kind of like accepting ache that like okay, it might not happen for me…..but alongside that lonely ache, I get a surge of huge powerful love for the love I have around me anyway.
I love community. I love queer books and music and I love friends and allies and other queers who get it. I love Pride, I love it. This world feels so fucked up but I feel like I have a found family who is strong enough to catch me when I need to be caught and people who feel reliable and sturdy and safe.
#prince text#just having a lot of feelings#I don’t have an ideal love match in my head#but i do daydream wondering what it would be like to fall for someone who wants me back#wants ME back#not an idealized version of me#not a I Am In Love With The Idea of A Relationship me#not the convenient and prioritizes you over my own interests bc you don’t seem to care me#maybe I won’t get that#but i have such a full life with the ppl around me#and things are scary but I forget sometimes that they’re not scary in the same ways anymore#I have ppl I am certain about#and I honestly haven’t had that#maybe ever#Saturn Rising is real#I’m rlly sleep deprived it is bed time
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questioning what life is rlly about but then u catch up with the girlies over dinner n life is worth living again <3
#i don’t go clerb hopping but restaurant hopping <3#w my fav ppl <3#i love my friends <3#n im so sad we can't see each other as often#love my uni friends too but the bond u have w the friends u made when u were little are irreplaceable#i've been besties w a friend since we were little tiny babies just barely able to move around#also! they surprised me w a bday gift bc this year i didnt celebrate bc i wasnt home n life was hectic#n one of the gifts is a bookmark w my name engraved on it and!!!!! featuring pressed flowers#its the little things that make me cry </3#like how adorable is that#anywayyy that gift was just tew cute had to mention it#i wanna have nights like this forever😔😔😔#like no do not ever ruin ur sleeping schedule for a man but yes ruin it for ur friends who take u from one restaurant to the other <3#so so sleepy but i'll sleep w a full n happy heart today <3
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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btw ive never been opposed to the idea of having a "regular job" to support my art career as i needed it, but the times ive had one (and ive had MANY) i would always be too exhausted to draw anything afterwards, all the jobs ive had were minimum wage and highly physical
i suddenly had the epiphany to get a weekend job bc I DONT DRAW ON WEEKENDS ANYWAY, my mom has weekends off from work so its impossible to do anything ^^;
and its served the dual purpose of providing a little cash AND i dont have to be around much when my mom is home lol <3
idk how i didnt think of this sooner, i think it just wasnt the right time til now <3
#ive worked several different kinds of jobs and multiple at the same time like clock out of one clock in to the other type#clown honks#mostly customer service-ish except for a handful#i have sO MANY STORIES LMAO#my friends keep telling me to make a book about my life bc its wildly entertaining to hear about apparently LOL#they all ended in ways i couldnt control and really cemented for me that that isnt what i was supposed to be doing full time ykno?#also idk if its obvious or not but im actually an introvert#im very good w ppl/def not a shy person but being around ppl irl for long periods of time is EXHAUSTING#once i get home i p much collapse sdkljklds
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yall this old lady craft group is the best thing ever and i want to cry thinking abt how grateful i am to have it fjfkdl i think this might be the one group that i feel wholly welcomed into and actually a real part of for the first time in my life ;-; ♡
the group leader always seems to want me to sit next to her and her daughter is always interested in seeing what im working on when she comes at the end and she also tells me abt different crochet patterns she's seen on fb marketplace or she brings in old patterns for me to look through and take what i want, and then the card maker lady is offering to give me this big old crocheted clown doll that her mum made her years ago and she immediately offered to give me a ride home without me even saying anything (so that i wouldnt have to try take it home on the bus fjdkdl), and they were all super excited for me when i told them I was able to fix my accordion, and they just... treat me like an equal and a human person and fjdksl man ... it's so nice
AND IM JUST 😭💗 about it all !!!! it all feels so foreign to me !!!! i do not know when I've ever felt so fully part of a group and an equal to everyone there !!!
#and theyre always so happy to see me when i arrive fjfkdl#I've had coworkers be happy to see me but thats always been bc i was like... useful and made them feel good LMAO#its so easy to have coworkers enjoy ur presence if u do ur job well and compliment them when they do things well#or even just like. hey i like ur shoes. just simple things go a long way#so ppl have been happy to see me in the past but its only been bc i was useful to them ;-;#BUT THIS !!! this is just me being part of a group !!! i am an equal !!! its such a wild feeling !!!#im like... a full person !! its crazy !!#now granted. idk if they'd treat me the same if they knew that im queer and like. very mentally ill but DHDJDLL#thats okay idk i can live with not sharing those aspect of me bc it doesnt feel important in that setting#AUGGHHH it is just such a good feeling idk fjfldl i wish i could express it better#when u have been lesser ur entire life it is so incredible and wonderful to be treated as an equal#i did not realize how EASY it could be to socialize and feel safe with ppl if they'd just ... treat u like a human and an equal#like idk if I've ever felt so safe in my life around other ppl before fjfkdl this is crazy#ANYWAYS IM GETTING TOO DEEP ABT IT MAYBE SORRY FJFKDL im just soooo in awe that i get to experience this#and i wanted to share this bit of joy djfkdld#dandy.cmd
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ahora voy y me entero yo que han eliminao el cipaj..... natalia chueca when i catch you!!!!!!!!!!
#this is gonna sound so cheesy but el cipaj is iconic to me. and like 'zaragoza joven' just doesnt have the same ring to it!!!!!!!#i remember when i got back here (spain) i was 15 and felt completely alone. especially at school#and i would get there earlier than most ppl bc of my bus schedule. i wouldnt say i 'roamed the halls'#mainly bc i knew the school pretty well. but i would maybe stop and read signs or whatever around the school on my way to class#and one day i saw a stack of el cipaj laying there on a table in the hallway so i decided to grab one#and it was full of activities and things. MANY things that were not talked abt at my house or at school#(a catholic private school). i was never brave enough to go or do any things offered there#but it made me hopeful that a different world was out there. and that there could be more to my life than my stupid ass facha school#z xarre
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Me looking at my own mood boards like “oh yeah this guy gets it”
#💭#📓#I love you friendship and midnight gospel and Kaluah and I love listening and hearing stories and laughing so hard and being full of joy and#and and like questions and sadness and grief and fear and all these things that are I usually deal with with isolation on codependence w my#mom like now I feel like I’m given the space to be a person and to be around someone who truly listens and lives and I’m realizing places#(stuck point.comma.therapy term) where I am finding myself uncomfortable with the way I handle a conversation specifically how I listen to#people I care about and listening to understand instead of listening to respond (not usually an issue with ppl I like) or listening to#relate I struggle a lot with that I tend to use immediate interrupting with my own thing to show I get it and that can quickly be overdone#and I’m starting to notice when I do it and I’m learning how to balance that with also learning to shut my mouth for a second and like give#people (Levi) (but also people in IOP actually) space to talk and feel and finish a thought and trying to validate (ew therapy term) and#fully listen and understand in ways that aren’t from my own perspective bc that’s a thing I struggle with but I am also comforted by the#fact that Levi will not punish me or be harsh to me if I mess up in the moments when I notice I’m doing it and maybe when I find myself#doing it I could say it out loud and apologize or like ask if there was more to say like idk I want to work on my listening#and not to use an excuse or whatever but I feel like I have been so isolated for so long like four years ish and I have not fully gained the#skill of listening to people at this stage of my life when I’m not in a direct classroom setting where you are almost allowed to interrupt#in order to add to a conversation but that’s not how all conversations are made to be and obviously (well maybe not obvious) but friends#can understand and discuss boundaries and feel comfortable over talking and speaking up when there was something you wanted to say and#having me wait a second idk idk how to explain it
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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.
#tales from diana#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe#i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations#i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to#he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong#like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back#i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him#and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent#some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least#a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them#theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear#and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong#even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever#i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it#i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no#im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.
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#am literally just so happy with my life rn im cooked and have to get it out i love my friends sm 💕💞💖 ive never had such a big lovely#friend group before somehow gemuinely makes the last 2 years of shit feel worth it ive been having the absolute time of my life for months#on end. i <3 goobers but like literally life is so much better now and faith in ppl restored a bit it has taken me 20 years to get to a#place full of likeminded individuals holy shit im still reeling its so freeing. heaps of great people!! all around me!! so healthy so smart#boooooo sappy. whatever. its saturday night#jay rambles#tumblr my dearest diary
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TIM???? MIDDLE CLASS???? THE BITCH GREW UP IN A MANSION AND WENT TO BOARDING SCHOOL OVERSEAS????? THAT AINT MIDDLE CLASS????
LITERALLLY AND I KNOW THIS STARTED ON TWITTER MADE ITS WAY TO TUMBLR AND I JUST SAW IT ON TIKTOK LIKE…
#they’re all communicating#and it’s one thing like discord servers aren’t bad#but discord servers full of stupid ass people who will skew and twist everything to prove their fave isn’t rich and white and acrually#internal biases have NOTHING to do with why they like them and take traits and storylines from everyone else for him?#like c’mon man.#like the thing about tim Stans that bother me is that he could be cool#like canonically going off of everything there; the fact that he fucked up his own life for essentially no reason? at such a young age and#now just has to. deal with it.#that could be cool#but they have to make him super sad or super hurt to showcase that he’s running towards smth#and to put the burden on the ppl who aren’t emotionally available 24/7 bc ‘you KNOW what his life was like before’#when the fun part is that these ppl literally should have 0 attachment to him and choose to anyways and vice versa#but THATS a diff rant sorry tim hater moots#the point of THIS is that they do everything in their power to make him more relatable than he’s supposed to be#Bc it’s not ‘trendy’ or ‘progressive’ to be rich and white rn#like they don’t wanna actually unpack the racism or classism do they just go ‘i hc tim as Ambiguously asian and middle class’ and continue#to treat the poorer browner characters around him like dog shit#when it’s like. first of all you don’t even read enough to disprove shit. period.#like ur saying his class has nothing to do with his character bc u don’t know his character bc all you’ve read is yj98 and time stream l#shenanigans. you wouldn’t know what impacts his character besides when he’s around his friends and his most manic depressive episode ever#but again diff story diff time. point is the things tim fans do to just. not like tim.#u could like Steph or Duke or Jason with the shit u wanna give to tim#but ur so unwilling to unpack or biases enough to think about WHY you need to change not just this niggas class but his parents to like him#like HELLOOO sorry he can’t be ur sickly Victorian child but if u want a character who’s cold due to his moms attitude. Damian’s right ther#light to batmans darkness who refuse to be considered a part of the family and preaches that he will not follow in Bruce’s footsteps while#unknowingly doing just that but forcing himself to put his community and ideals first even to his detriment? even when it’s not reciprocate#Duke#actual middle class character who gets beat down by literally every other bat and fights tooth and nail to be respected and is not only#still insecure but still to this day thought to be second fiddle to everyone else? Steph#like hellooooo
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omg too bad im stupid and can’t flesh out my thoughts very well because i’ve come to the conclusion redemption arcs must fundamentally be uncomfortable or they’re not true redemption arcs
#its about actual evil being forgiven and the guilt and discomfort that comes with trying to be a better person than you were#especially when the people around you only see the monster you were#the monster you still struggle not to be#i think fanfiction sometimes makes it look softer than it is bc often its enemies to lovers romantic ship stuff#somebody is there to hold the villains hand as they try to climb out of the bloody pit theyve carved for themselves#but that isnt always the case#sometimes the villain doesnt have somebody with full faith in their ability to change#sometimes they have to hold their own hand against everything and struggle against sliding back into the life they want to leave behind#sometimes they have ppl from their old lives who want the old them back not this- this sanitized hero the character is trying to be#change is hard. forgiveness is harder.#does any of that make sense? idk#smarter people than me have probably said it better#anyway its fucking midnight goodbye#babble.tag
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also btw my favorite professor is leavi ng next week and i thougut i was gonna get to say goodbye to her on her last day (next monday) and i put off reaching out to her and buying her a present and everything bc it is um. Too painful to accept that she’s about to leave and i put it off bc i couldn’t bear it. but i finally emailed her today and she won’t be available on monday after all she’s only available tomorrow and i don’t have a present or anythi ng for her and im not emotionally ready to say goodbye like im taking off friday and i was gonna use the three day weekend to prep and brace myself and now i have to do it tomorrow and i don’t have anything to give her and can’t go o it and buy anything bc i can’t drive and i have therapy and even if i could get a ride the stores will be closed by the time im done bc we had to schedule it late today. i can’t fucking take itttttt
#purrs#i can’t accept that she’s leaving and i have to write her a card at the very least. and i can’t accept it and the goodbye is going to be so#awkward. and it’s been SO hard not being able to talk to her abt **** leaving last july like she’s one of the ppl i would go to for that#and she’s like one of the only people on campus who understands me and gets how i react to things and speaks my emotional language. and i ha#haven’t been able to go to her bc she’s leaving too and so immediately all that convo is off the table. and it has KILLED me. and now she’s#about to leave and i have no more women mentors left on campus not even a full year into my new job during the time in my life where ihave m#most needed women mentors. yayyyyy 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#literally the way at this time last year i had 2 and now i have ZERO because they both fucking left. if you’d told me that a year ago i w#would’ve shriveled up and died. and here i am in the FAKE future where they are both gone / leaving and i am miserable and in hell. and i ha#have to… omg not o say this not to namedrop. but i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see. but i needed them to stick around longer s#so i could absorb. more of them and figure out how to be me too. bc they help make me.. me. and now they’re both gone…….. LOL!#delete later
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#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy.#i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life?#u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let#me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months#y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal?#like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score#but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help.#ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me#genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing#? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃#next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol#i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester#ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped.#unrelated
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Yknow I gotta say, I love sewing and a lot of ppl find a lot of body confidence or whatever from sewing. But for me I never felt bad about my body until every pattern I find is telling me I'm meant to have a 26 inch waist.
#I have a 30 inch waist for reference (I would use cm but none of these patterns use them!! Driving me nuts!)#(26in=66cm and 30in=76cm so you can see why I might feel a bit bad lol)#It's just frustrating bc it literally makes what I love doing SO much harder bc I can't fit standard sizing#And it makes certain things look SO weird on me#Like I'm lucky that I don't have to go through the hell plus size ppl have to but damn I just wish my proportions were normal#The reason my waist is so wide is bc I have high hips so I have hip dips and my waist measurement is basically the bottom of my ribcage#Which is so hellish bc if things are too tight around my waist or designed to compress it HURTS so bad and I can't breath#ON TOP OF THE SENSORY ISSUES!!#So I have to shorten patterns and expand the waist a full 10cm or bring in the bust 10cm#And I always just end up looking like a rectangle and not in a deliberate or nice way#Like I got into sewing bc I wanted things to FIT ME and I THOUGHT I was fine but turns out!#Fuckin everyone is a goddamn hourglass and I'm misshapen or some shit#And it fucks me off bc the only time I see ppl make adjustments its to expand the bust like everyone I see making these patterns#Is an hourglass and it drives me nuts bc still nothing fits me right and I'm a novice and it's so much extra work to try desperately to#get things to actually fit and I've never felt so bad about my body in my entire life#It just kinda sucks#Vent#Body image issues#Yeah damn not even cotton on made me feel so shit about myself#I think this is bc it's not even a beauty standard it's just a practical issue that makes things harder to do#Yeah sorry for the whining I'll probs delete bc this is so embarrassing like imagine complaining bc you don't have a tiny waist#That's so vain#But fuck I just need to get this out and if I talk to mum (only person I have to talk to) it will end w her yelling at me#I love her but she makes me feel worse about everything#Just super sucks bc I can't even use a garment designed to compress the waist#So then I don't have to modify every single goddamn thing#Just gonna be a sad rectangle forever
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thsc fans made me a kinder person wowie
#was talking with my gf some days ago and i have gotten less violent in my head HELPDGF#no bc personal rambles if ur not interested idm but#last year fucked me up so bad everyday i used to get strikes on insta for my private posts to vent it out#its the funniest shit to look back on tbh Help but i genuinely look back on some posts and go wow this motherfucker rly made me a violent-#person and he acted like all that happened to me was my fault#i seriously do not want another message from that fuck on ny birthday again i will make his life living fucking hell#this december will be full of copperright and thsc . i have not felt so emotionally vulnerable in so long LMAO#thanks to these little fucks i want to throw them around i love yhem#it took some silly gentle people of this fandom for me to realize perhaps i should tone down the violent humor#bc a friend in another friend group lately also opened up that hayy i think im. not ok with playful bullying anymore and i felt bad even#though i dont talk much there Fuck you timezones#i will admit the excessive usage of tone indicators in sticktwt seems too much to me but not a huge issue overall#i am but a reserved fucked up aunt of the thsc fandom that ppl seem to rly enjoy the reactions of when they post copperrifht HSGSSGD#i commissioned 5 people to draw copperright i think that's enough to tell the damage done to me by thsc#coping mechanism for when ur sick for a literal month without a day's break 👍#anyway erm maybe i love u guys what are u gonna do about it#i cannot for the life of me talk in dms without being anxious but tumblr and discord servers are what save my life#i am here but hiding behind a pole cartoon style#gootbye
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