#but i have such a full life with the ppl around me

[ivantillceo]

does anyone else feel so much hatred for endos it makes them feel sick sometimes .

like ive genuinely had meltdowns , full on screaming and crying and punching myself bc of how upset these mfs have made me ( this happened with our ex who was a " luckgenic " system . they were also , unsurprisingly , a groomer who was radqueer , pro-contact , helped coin lsdqueer and more ! )

like everytime they even look at me i get so mad it makes me feel sick but also it's the funniest thing ever to watch them desperately try to make me view them as real systems and use tumblr posts and pluralpedia to try and " change my mind " 😭😭 and the attention is nice LMFAO .

but yeah does this happen to anyone else . like y'all just get so sick from them . its ridiculous for them to claim they " don't do anything wrong " when my experiences are right here and MULTIPLE of my abusers or toxic ppl in my life were ( pro ) endo . what happened to y'all saying " all experiences are valid " or some shit ? does that only apply to you ? why is it suddenly that the moment anyone talks about their feelings with the endo community or their trauma around it it's suddenly stupid and not valid and " rude " ?

idk this is just the ramblings of a lunatic . that's what most posts made by me are .

- post made by lacey ( it / thym / frill / doll / lace , co-host + overt npd holder . we should probably post our frequent fronters ... )

[thefruitbin]

@yaybatman DUDE I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE. I recently read the three jokers cuz it was such an interesting premise for funsies and then at the end they did this twist (spoilers up ahead) where it ends up being that jokers family wanted to get away from him and they faked their deaths?.??. And batman knew his name week one after joker became joker. Wtf is that. Sorry it just felt like such a weak twist. Like oh, actually 🤓🤓 joker was a bad person even still!! Teehee another twist to his backstory!! Bro idgaf, do something interesting with who joker is currently!

What makes him tick?? What would happen if actually hes on the brink, whats he do when hes genuinely cornered, when his mask is off?? Whats his perspective on things, what are his thought processes??? Interpersonal relationships?,?,Does he get his suits tailored bro?? does bro have chronic pain issues??? does joker loathe not having powers or does he take that in stride? (Look i havent read all the comics so im unsure if these r answered sorry :0)

I dont like this reliance on tkj if that even makes sense. I dont even like the whole thing of his life revolving around ONLY batman. Im sure yes he finds batman interesting as hell (hehe) but RAHH IM SORRY IM JUST SICK OF “batman created the joker heh >:0)! The joker ONLY cares about batman!! without batman! Crime has no punchline 😈” i feel like there can be more to it than that. i like to think he was doing crime way before batman, before gotham, but he just showed up one day as if he always existed there!

In then end, it rlly does just feel so.. wrong in a way to give this queercoded man a wife, i wouldnt mind if jokers bi or pan fr, but the thing that irks me is this sense of full erasure, like purposefully making it so joker is in a heterosexual relationship and has a kid on the way. Like to “prove” to ppl that yeah hes straight, and even with his makeup, now its not makeup, its from the vat of chemicals actually, staining his lips red and bleaching his skin ☝️ further erasing that originally queer subtext where he would put on makeup. It feels so weird. I dont necessarily need joker to be gay (although i absolutely think hes gay or queer in some way), but they cannot deny the queer subtext (that i acknowledge definitely was put in for negative reasons, making this queer coded character an outcast who is bad and a villain etc etc. very clear motives there.)

Its so weird that theyd erase those specific parts of him. Not even weird just.. downright angering. Bcuz ur erasing jokers queerness… why? Its weirder to erase these traits that this character consistently has had. I know its prolly to better appease to an audience, but think about like…. Why does erasing his traits do that.

Like own up to it at this point, jokers traits were put there for a reason but now you can use that in a different way, rather than completely erasing those traits that ppl do relate to. Or even his clown theme, or the way he curates his appearance. He tends to look not well put together or trashed when jokers whole personality is putting on a show. He puts on fancy suits bro, and does his hair and makeup. Let him do just that. And the thing is, it would be far more interesting if they did decide to recognize that joker is a queer man. So many ways to explore that, so many things to analyze and nope. Joker just likes being edgy and stuff lol 🤓‼️ thats it. BRO LIKE I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM!!! FUCKKKK. WITH THIS BACKSTORY ITS LIKE THEY R OBSESSED NOT WITH JOKERS CHARACTER, BUT ABOUT HIS BACKSTORY ONLY. JUST LIKE OVER AND OVER WITH REDHOOD AND JASON TODD!! (Which btw other than that being a poll i dont think joker would dare kill a robin not out of being nice but out of not wanting to break this precarious thing with batman. his life doesnt revolve around batman, but he definitely starts to find comfort and routine in their “dance”)

Im gunna be real I prefer jokers backstory to not be known. I personally dont see the ace chemicals backstory as canon, nor do i see joker killing jason todd as canon (since.. people literally voted to kill a child instead of a literal murderer 😭 joker himself would find this ironic like what)

Idk i dont like how DC keeps trying to de-mystify joker, or make him rlly gritty and edgy (same with batman, bats is meant to be compassionate, not an asshole!!!) like wtf happened to jokers clown schtick, hes ripping his face off and its like. Why is that actually boring? The writers keep trying to one up each other in who can make joker do the “darkest” shit and its so predictable and boring. Where is the funny clown. The funny idiot smart genius clown weirdo villain. The guy who curates his appearance and crimes?

The creators themselves say there isn’t a definitive backstory, which i much rather prefer. idk why but the vat of chemicals story being seen as his origin story just doesnt sit right with me. I like a joker who deadass has to put on his makeup, or fuck it id rather not know why he has pale skin. I like the idea that hes as human as batman (i always thought it cool that they both dont use powers! Especially since batman is so adamant on preferring not to have powers anyway). Ppl say “oh but hes scarier if hes kinda inhuman or just a killer” or somn and its like, isnt it scarier that he is human? killers in the real world are human, and so is joker. U cant change that. even if joker himself loathes the idea that hes fallible. Isnt it scarier to think wow. That rlly hes as human as any of us and yet he does the things he does? That the range of humanity extends to cruelty?

“They've given many origins of the Joker, how he came to be. That doesn't seem to matter—just how he is now. I never intended to give a reason for his appearance. We discussed that and Bill [Finger] and I never wanted to change it at that time. I thought—and he agreed—that it takes away some of the essential mystery."

– Jerry Robinson, the Joker's creator

[wishingprince]

I love queer stories I love reading about love and finding love and falling in love.

I want it so badly I want to have a partner and fall in love and have someone who is interested in learning me and we can learn to love each other the way we need. And the older I get the more the ache is there, this kind of like accepting ache that like okay, it might not happen for me…..but alongside that lonely ache, I get a surge of huge powerful love for the love I have around me anyway.

I love community. I love queer books and music and I love friends and allies and other queers who get it. I love Pride, I love it. This world feels so fucked up but I feel like I have a found family who is strong enough to catch me when I need to be caught and people who feel reliable and sturdy and safe.

[torahtot]

you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.

i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?

the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.

idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went

[sparklingchim]

questioning what life is rlly about but then u catch up with the girlies over dinner n life is worth living again <3

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

.

[clownmoontoon]

btw ive never been opposed to the idea of having a "regular job" to support my art career as i needed it, but the times ive had one (and ive had MANY) i would always be too exhausted to draw anything afterwards, all the jobs ive had were minimum wage and highly physical

i suddenly had the epiphany to get a weekend job bc I DONT DRAW ON WEEKENDS ANYWAY, my mom has weekends off from work so its impossible to do anything ^^;

and its served the dual purpose of providing a little cash AND i dont have to be around much when my mom is home lol <3

idk how i didnt think of this sooner, i think it just wasnt the right time til now <3

[dandyshucks]

yall this old lady craft group is the best thing ever and i want to cry thinking abt how grateful i am to have it fjfkdl i think this might be the one group that i feel wholly welcomed into and actually a real part of for the first time in my life ;-; ♡

the group leader always seems to want me to sit next to her and her daughter is always interested in seeing what im working on when she comes at the end and she also tells me abt different crochet patterns she's seen on fb marketplace or she brings in old patterns for me to look through and take what i want, and then the card maker lady is offering to give me this big old crocheted clown doll that her mum made her years ago and she immediately offered to give me a ride home without me even saying anything (so that i wouldnt have to try take it home on the bus fjdkdl), and they were all super excited for me when i told them I was able to fix my accordion, and they just... treat me like an equal and a human person and fjdksl man ... it's so nice

AND IM JUST 😭💗 about it all !!!! it all feels so foreign to me !!!! i do not know when I've ever felt so fully part of a group and an equal to everyone there !!!

[minglana]

ahora voy y me entero yo que han eliminao el cipaj..... natalia chueca when i catch you!!!!!!!!!!

[milo-is-rambling]

Me looking at my own mood boards like “oh yeah this guy gets it”

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

[charlieism]

.

[starlooove]

TIM???? MIDDLE CLASS???? THE BITCH GREW UP IN A MANSION AND WENT TO BOARDING SCHOOL OVERSEAS????? THAT AINT MIDDLE CLASS????

LITERALLLY AND I KNOW THIS STARTED ON TWITTER MADE ITS WAY TO TUMBLR AND I JUST SAW IT ON TIKTOK LIKE…

[finalgirlwave]

omg too bad im stupid and can’t flesh out my thoughts very well because i’ve come to the conclusion redemption arcs must fundamentally be uncomfortable or they’re not true redemption arcs

[pepprs]

also btw my favorite professor is leavi ng next week and i thougut i was gonna get to say goodbye to her on her last day (next monday) and i put off reaching out to her and buying her a present and everything bc it is um. Too painful to accept that she’s about to leave and i put it off bc i couldn’t bear it. but i finally emailed her today and she won’t be available on monday after all she’s only available tomorrow and i don’t have a present or anythi ng for her and im not emotionally ready to say goodbye like im taking off friday and i was gonna use the three day weekend to prep and brace myself and now i have to do it tomorrow and i don’t have anything to give her and can’t go o it and buy anything bc i can’t drive and i have therapy and even if i could get a ride the stores will be closed by the time im done bc we had to schedule it late today. i can’t fucking take itttttt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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