#and theyre always so happy to see me when i arrive fjfkdl
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yall this old lady craft group is the best thing ever and i want to cry thinking abt how grateful i am to have it fjfkdl i think this might be the one group that i feel wholly welcomed into and actually a real part of for the first time in my life ;-; ♡
the group leader always seems to want me to sit next to her and her daughter is always interested in seeing what im working on when she comes at the end and she also tells me abt different crochet patterns she's seen on fb marketplace or she brings in old patterns for me to look through and take what i want, and then the card maker lady is offering to give me this big old crocheted clown doll that her mum made her years ago and she immediately offered to give me a ride home without me even saying anything (so that i wouldnt have to try take it home on the bus fjdkdl), and they were all super excited for me when i told them I was able to fix my accordion, and they just... treat me like an equal and a human person and fjdksl man ... it's so nice
AND IM JUST 😭💗 about it all !!!! it all feels so foreign to me !!!! i do not know when I've ever felt so fully part of a group and an equal to everyone there !!!
#and theyre always so happy to see me when i arrive fjfkdl#I've had coworkers be happy to see me but thats always been bc i was like... useful and made them feel good LMAO#its so easy to have coworkers enjoy ur presence if u do ur job well and compliment them when they do things well#or even just like. hey i like ur shoes. just simple things go a long way#so ppl have been happy to see me in the past but its only been bc i was useful to them ;-;#BUT THIS !!! this is just me being part of a group !!! i am an equal !!! its such a wild feeling !!!#im like... a full person !! its crazy !!#now granted. idk if they'd treat me the same if they knew that im queer and like. very mentally ill but DHDJDLL#thats okay idk i can live with not sharing those aspect of me bc it doesnt feel important in that setting#AUGGHHH it is just such a good feeling idk fjfldl i wish i could express it better#when u have been lesser ur entire life it is so incredible and wonderful to be treated as an equal#i did not realize how EASY it could be to socialize and feel safe with ppl if they'd just ... treat u like a human and an equal#like idk if I've ever felt so safe in my life around other ppl before fjfkdl this is crazy#ANYWAYS IM GETTING TOO DEEP ABT IT MAYBE SORRY FJFKDL im just soooo in awe that i get to experience this#and i wanted to share this bit of joy djfkdld#dandy.cmd
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