#but i had a moment like “i had a nice day? i feel like i've been going and going along just fine”
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SOON AS I GET HOME! ☆ 박종성
"soon as I get home, I'll make it up to you. baby, i'll do what i gotta do."
soon as i get home - faith evans.
c/w: suggestive!! yet extremely soft. husband jay...wow i love jay
you had a good man. an amazing man even. the best man a woman could ask for. and you've been neglecting him.
when he tries to hug you, it only lasts for a second before you push him away. when he tries to give you a kiss, you barely reciprocate back. when he tries to initiate sex, you brush him off, telling him you're "too tired" to be touched. it's noticeably put a bit of a strain on your marriage, and you feel guilty.
you decide it's time to ignite the fire in your marriage again. remind jay why he married you in the first place. since he's always busy with work and so are you, you decided you would call off work the next day and spend it planning something special.
you hop out the tub and wrap a towel around you before starting your hair and makeup. you decided to wear it down because you remembered how much jay liked it. for makeup, you go with a natural glam with some red eyeshadow.
—
you slip into the lingerie and dress you bought, buckle up your heels, and check yourself out in the mirror one more time. "yup. i still got it." you say to yourself before you head downstairs.
the time is currently 6:30. jay is already off work and is probably on his way back. you use this time to set the food up and pour up some wine. you also lay out some chocolates and light some scented candles. and of course, you had some old school jams playing in the back. lord, if he didn't put a baby in you tonight, it'd be a pretty close call.
as time gets closer, you decide to hide behind the wall so when he walks in, you can suprise him.
around 7:02, you hear some keys jingle and the door opening.
"baby, i'm home. i got some take-out if you're hungry. baby..?"
you can't help but feel your heart swell at your husbands voice. even through your dry spell, he's so sweet. you take this as an opportunity to step out.
"hi jjongie.."
his mouth opens so wide you're scared a moth might fly out of it.
"do you like it..?" he gave you a look as if you just asked the silliest question on earth.
"baby. like it? 'like it' would be disrespectful. you look amazing, y/n."
you giggle and help him take off his work jacket, giving his shoulders a soft massage, feeling the tenseness from his shift today. his head tips back with a sigh. "did i forget something today, love?" he says, trying to scan his mind for any event that could've happened.
you grab his hand and drag him into the kitchen where all the food is prepared. "you're my husband. and I've been neglecting you. so i wanted to show my appreciation for all you do." you say pulling out a chair for him.
"baby...you don't neglect me. we've both been busy with work." he says still holding on to your hand.
"still. when's the last time we had sex, jay?"
"a few days ago, right?" he says trying to see where you're going with this.
"exactly! remember? when used to go at it like animals? one day out of the week would've scared us a few years ago." you say with a small giggle. "now eat up. i dont want the food to get cold!"
you guys spend some time talking about your week and enjoying the meal you made. it felt so nice to have this moment with your husband. you guys rarely ever got to eat real meals together.
"wow, y/n. you really went all out." he says finishing his last bite.
"there's leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry again." you say getting ready to put the dishes in the sink.
he stands up, coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. "how could i ever repay you?"
you turn around and give him a look. "jay. you have been the most perfect man since the day i met you. i can't remember the last time i touched a door or a bill since our first date. you've done more than enough." you say pressing a peck on the corner of his mouth.
you dry off your hands before you turn back to him. "now, I have one more surprise for you upstairs. come on~" you say excitedly before dragging him up the stairs.
you finally make it to your bedroom and point his attention towards the bag in the middle of the bed. in it was a new cologne, a new tie and jewelry. as he opens the bag you dash into the bathroom to take off that tight dress and reveal what was underneath.
"baby, you didn't have to get me any of this. i'm so grateful, thank you. god, this is so cool." he says, examining his new items.
you finally step out the bathroom, heels still clicking as you call out his name.
he brings his attention up and his mouth is left open for the second time that night.
has he seen your body in ways you wouldn't even think was possible? yes. but everytime he did it felt like the first time.
you slowly make your way towards him before he reaches out his hands to touch you as if you'd dissappear right in front him.
"wow, i married a goddess. even years later you still make me feel like a teenage boy."
your eyes begin to water at his words and his touches, feeling like it's been an eternity since you've been touched like this. your hands begin to roam his body too, feeling underneath his shirt and caressing his stomach, your fingertips grazing the roughness of his happy trail.
"i love you jay. and i'll do whatever i can to make up for time we might've lost." you say leading him towards the bed so you can straddle him.
"we've grown a lot since we started dating, y/n. it's okay if sometimes we are too busy to do things with eachother. but even if we go months without touching eachother, i promise i'll always love you the same way I did back then."
and with that, he pulls you into a kiss, which leads into a night full of passionate lovemaking.
a/n: im foaming at the mouth.
#enhypen#enhypen reactions#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enha fluff#jay x reader#park jongseong x reader#enha x reader#kpop x reader#kpop#jay smut#enhaeil ☆ fic#enhypen scenarios
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tension and release | b.e.
synopsis: you and billie share an intimate bath as a way of de-stressing after a long day.
tags/warnings: established relationship, sharing a bath, romance, fluff, implied sexual content
word count: 1,653
author's note: just an idea that's been festering around in my mind please enjoyyyy. notes and reblogs are always appreciated <3
The second you arrived home, you wasted no time in ridding yourself of your work clothes, opting to lounge comfortably in a cozy robe as you watched the bathtub fill with warm water.
You didn't often take baths; showers were quick and efficient and normally you preferred them. But with the holiday season came insurmountable levels of stress that began piling up, weighing on you like heavy sandbags. You weren't just affected by your hectic work life mentally but also physically, as your stress often manifested in stomach aches and a sore body from how tense you were all the time. Simply put, you were feeling extremely overworked, and a hot bath was just screaming your name.
At some point, while you were sitting at the edge of the tub, watching the water rise and adding generous amounts of soap, Billie's dog, Shark, decided to trot into the bathroom with you, his cold nose poking your hand.
You smiled at him, giving him gentle head pats. It was almost as if Shark could sense that you weren't feeling great and came to comfort you.
Eventually, the bath was ready, and it had plenty of bubbles and was the perfect temperature. You grabbed your phone from the pocket of your robe and immediately began browsing through Spotify, searching through your long list of different playlists and trying to decide which one would fit the mood best. While you were doing this, that's when your lovely girlfriend made an appearance. Shark quickly ran out of the bathroom to greet her, and with an airy laugh, you followed the pit bull with the same level of enthusiasm.
When you exited the bathroom you were met with the sight of Billie kneeling on the ground, hugging Shark tightly and showering him in kisses. You watched the scene before you unfold with fondness in your eyes, chuckling to yourself at the way Shark mercilessly locked Billie's face.
You briefly made eye contact with Billie while she was in the middle of her show of affection, and the grin on your face only widened.
“Okay, Shark– I missed you too, but somebody else deserves some love, too.” Billie said as if Shark could understand anything. She gently had to push him off, not before giving him one last kiss, and then she was quickly making her way to you.
She crossed the distance in just a few seconds, wrapping her arms around you and giving you the same treatment, her lips covering every inch of your face. You were laughing the whole time, holding her close. When she pulled away, she was gazing into your eyes lovingly, her hands still lightly squeezing your waist.
“Hey, mama.” She said with a wide smile.
“Hi,” you replied, sporting the same lovesick expression. “How was your day, baby?” You asked her, curiously.
“Productive. Finneas and I actually worked on a few songs.”
Your eyebrows raised in surprise at that. “Working on new songs already?” You inquired excitedly. You loved hearing about any new music Billie was working on because it meant you'd eventually get to hear early versions of it, and it always made you feel extremely special to listen to her creations long before anyone else had the chance to.
“Yeah, well, surprisingly, I was just suddenly feeling really inspired and I just had to take advantage of that feeling while it lasted. We were kinda on a roll with ideas. It was nice.” She replied, grinning as she thought back to her time spent with her brother just moments prior.
“That's really nice, Bils. I can't wait to hear what you've got so far.”
“And I can't wait to show you. I've already got some snippets for you to hear.” She said, leaning in close, whispering those last few words against your lips before giving you a cute peck. It was an innocent, chaste kiss, until she leaned in again and gave you one that was a bit deeper, her lips slotting against yours perfectly like a puzzle piece. She has pulled you impossibly closer against her body at this point, her hands roaming a bit lower, shamelessly feeling you up (and of course, you shamelessly enjoyed it).
Billie again was the first to pull away after a couple minutes had passed. She quickly gave your body a look up and down.
“You look fucking adorable in this robe– wait, is that mine?” She asked, inspecting the fabric closely. You chuckled.
“Maybe,” you said mischievously, sporting a sly grin. “But I know you love it.”
“I absolutely do,” Billie replied with a smirk, leaning in to kiss you again. You reciprocated the kiss, but didn't let it go on for too long– although you wanted to, you quickly remembered that the water in your bathtub was cooling down and you wanted to get in there while it was still hot.
Reluctantly, you pulled away this time, your hands moving from the nape of Billie's neck to holding her hands. You absentmindedly played with the rings that adorned her fingers.
“As much as I love it when you kiss me senseless, there's a hot bubble bath calling my name.” You said. Billie simply bit her bottom lip in response, giving you a knowing look.
“You wouldn't mind if I joined you, hm?” She asked, but she didn't even have to pose the question, as you had already made up your mind.
You were already pulling her to the bathroom when you replied, “Please join me.”
The both of you entered the bathroom, Billie closing the door once she was inside. You didn't waste a second in taking off your robe, lazily letting it fall off your shoulders. You didn't immediately get in though, turning around to face Billie, whose eyes were very obviously glancing elsewhere.
“Your turn.” You said playfully, and Billie happily obliged, removing her baggy jeans and oversized shirt. She folded them neatly, placing them on the counter, her rings placed on top. You were shamelessly ogling as well, admiring her beautiful body and appreciating every dip and curve.
When she was fully undressed, you stepped aside to let her get in first. When she slowly lowered herself into the water, you could visibly see her expression relax, her eyes fluttering shut as the heat from the water encompassed her.
“Fuck.” She cursed, letting out a few other small sounds of pleasure that made your cheeks hot.
“The temperature is good?”
“It's perfect, baby,” Billie replied, glancing up at you. “Get your pretty ass in here.”
At that, you giggled, following her instruction and joining her in the water.
You had a similar reaction, the warm water immediately soothing your tense muscles. You fit perfectly between Billie's legs, your back laying against her chest. In this position, you could rest your head on her shoulder, giving Billie access to the most sensitive spots on your neck, which she was quick to begin peppering in kisses.
You sighed in contentment, focusing on the feeling of the hot water and Billie's lips on your neck. You hadn't felt this relaxed in a while, and you were savoring every second.
“Baby, I'm so sorry,” Billie mumbled, still lazily kissing your skin. Your eyebrows furrowed, perplexed at her sudden apology.
“For what?” You replied, your words just slightly slurring together as you already began feeling tiredness overcome you.
“I didn't ask you how your day was,” she said. “Tell me all about it, my love.”
You scoffed. “My day was boring and uneventful, like always. Definitely not as interesting as anything you've got going on.” You replied earnestly.
“If it's coming from you, it's always interesting.” She responded warmly, lazily tracing patterns into your skin underneath the water. You smiled at her words, your eyes closing as you reveled in the sensation of the softness of her body beneath you, feeling her chest rise and fall with her breaths.
For the remaining couple of hours, you and Billie had brief moments where you'd talk about whatever entered each other's minds, and other moments where you two would simply sit in comfortable silence. Sometimes, Billie would begin humming or quietly singing, her voice sweet as honey, her lips just barely brushing against your ear. You had also switched positions at some point, with Billie on one end and you on the other, legs tangling together in the middle.
Sadly, the water did start to get a little cold, and you were the first to notice.
“Billie.” You softly called her name, noticing that her eyes were closed and she had seemed to doze off. You held back your chuckles, nudging her a bit.
“Billie. Baby. My angel.” You tried again. Billie's eyes opened for a split second.
“Hm?” She said sleepily, and your heart warmed at the endearing sight before you.
“Water's cold. Let's dry off, yeah?” You said. Billie grinned, slowly nodding, still shaking off sleep.
“Okay, mama.”
The two of you got out and dried yourselves with towels, the both of you making your own towel dresses and heading to your shared bedroom, where you just laid in bed, feeling slight chills from the cool air. Of course, the both of you were cuddled up together, basking in the relaxing silence. The towels didn't really stay on, and at some point, you both ditched them altogether, the skin-to-skin contact feeling much better anyway.
You both were pretty much keeping your hands still until your lips found each other again, the two of you sleepily making out with a newfound passion. It wasn't long until Billie had you on your back, kissing down your body
“Billie,” you half spoke, half whined. “Don't you wanna nap?” You asked, a smirk tugging at your lips.
Billie just looked at you with a hungry stare, her head already situated in the place you wanted her most.
“You're gonna nap real good when I'm done with you, mama.”
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish smut#billie eilish fanfic
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DETESTATION ━━ Fiyero x fem!reader
author's note; this was previously titled 'kiss me' lol. i cant lie, i was sort of just winging it with this one — i've been doing a lot of rivals to lovers u guys, my brain is a little confused now 😭 idk if i liked this but i hope its good! <3
prompt; “You can’t just…kiss me to win a fucking argument, [NAME]!” “You’re right…but did it work?” ps; i changed it up a bit, oops
summary; the constant back and forth was totally out of total detestation. . . right?
━━ ☄. *. ⋆
It was the third invite to the Ozdust Ballroom within the month.
Ever since the Winkie Prince showed up at Shiz a few months back, he's been influencing quite a few trips to the scandalocious venue. In fact — he started it immediately on his first day.
She didn't plan on going this time either. Even if the invite had come directly from him, while he was following her tail all over campus.
"C'mon, princess, it'll be fun," Fiyero urged as he walked behind her like a little puppy.
Typically, she refused to even be in his vicinity. With her luck though, somehow Doctor Dillamond decided he needed a tutor to push him through history class — so of course, she was chosen, being the current top student.
"Think of it as me thanking you for helping me ace history," Fiyero continued.
He did, in fact, ace his history after that. A whole A solid.
"For the millionth time, Fiyero, no," she huffed.
He rolled his eyes at another rejection, still following her as they found their way into the dining hall. It was sparse at the moment, they were quite early this time.
"Your welcome for history. But that's it," she added.
She grabbed a tray, starting to put food on it. As she did though, the infuriatingly charming — and annoying — prince stole a piece right out of her plate.
"You should learn to live a little. See the nightlife. Go dancing. We don't live forever, you know?"
She stared up at him as he just went on his little ramble about life.
"If you're worried about a dance partner—"
"I really don't care—"
"I'm sure Boq is very kind to help in that," Fiyero said with a sly smirk.
Respectfully, Boq was nice and cute in a way, but she would much rather drink a tub of toxic elixir.
She could only scoff in response, picking up her tray and finding a seat. Still he refused to let up.
"One night. Its just one night, it really won't kill you," Fiyero insisted.
"It won't, but I might kill you."
She set her tray down with a huff, but she didn't get the chance to sit yet before he was pestering her again.
"I've lived quite well, I wouldn't mind dying at your hands," he shrugged.
"Are you serious right now?" she scoffed. "I have a fork and knife an inch away from my hands, don't tempt me."
"Oh, how horrifying," he mock gasped.
Oh, this little—
"Truthfully, I find a death by my history tutor to be a beautiful exit," he continued with a smug grin.
"You have no sense of self preservation. My hands would be a painful way to die," she retorted.
He didn't miss a beat, grabbing her hands in his in such an oddly gentle manner that had her brain crashing for a moment.
"These soft hands? I find that hard to believe."
She blinked rapidly, just staring at the way he held her hands to his chest for no reason. Why was her head spinning? Why was her pulse rushing?
"You're infuriating," she managed to hiss as she pulled her hands away.
Really, she had no idea why this man annoyed her so much. She felt an irrational amount of irritation when he was around. Her head would sometimes go empty when she looked at him, her heart suddenly going too fast and her stomach feeling like it was floating.
Dislike. Pure, utter, dislike. Loathing, perhaps. Detestation.
Those were the only acceptable answers.
She ended up taking her lunch to go, bringing it with her to eat somewhere else where she could escape him.
"Come dancing tonight!" he tried again even as she stomped away from him and replied over without turning back.
"Eat grass!"
It was her roommate that dragged her to the Ozdust Ballroom that night. No one else.
Certainly not the persistent, annoyingly handsome prince. No.
She allowed herself to have fun for a while, dancing around with her roommate. She didn't catch a single glimpse of him so she assumed he bailed.
She would be absolutely wrong when she ended up twirling right into his arms.
Fiyero's hands were on her waist, keeping her right there as her hands ended up on his biceps. He grinned down at her, that casual and laidback smile he always had.
"You came."
"Not because of you."
He chuckled at her quick defensiveness. It was cute to him. Taking her hand, he gave her a quick whirl before pulling her close again.
"Of course not," he agreed.
"Plenty of other reasons to come to a party," she nodded.
"Mhm."
"Nice ambience, people in nice outfits," she started to list aimlessly.
"Yes, they do dress up nice," he continued to agree.
"Good music, exceptional dancing—"
"You dance well."
"Random excuse to dress myself up too—"
"You look lovely."
"The lights are quite nice too, all blueish—"
She didn't get the chance to keep yapping when suddenly a pair of warm lips were on hers. It felt like she was on fire. A good kind of fire. When she opened her eyes again and their lips parted, she met his gaze under the lights.
Her lips were parted, her breath catching. Her face was definitely flushing and Oz— her head was reeling. She was too flustered she ended up fumbling her words.
"You can't just kiss me to win an argument, Fiyero!"
He laughed at her reaction. In hindsight, he should've probably not do it out of nowhere. But her reaction was priceless.
"Yeah, probably not. But it shut you up," he mused.
She stared up at him, eyes wide as she was clearly baffled.
"You need to stop finding excuses, princess," he teased, giving her yet another whirl.
Her dress flared out before she ended up back with him, flush against his chest. Whatever she felt for him was strong. Though she was starting to suspect it wasn't actually detestation.
She'd likely been in denial.
"You need to not kiss someone without permission," she retorted anyway.
Fiyero only smiled, but at least he nodded sincerely with a bit of a shrug.
"Fair enough. Sorry," he agreed. "Can I have a redo?"
She raised a single brow up at him, this time catching up with the dance way better than when she initially ended up in his arms. A coy, almost teasing smile pulled on her lips as she casually ended up leading the dance.
"Let's see your dancing first, Winkie Prince."
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#fiyero x reader#fiyero tigelaar#fiyero tigelaar x reader#wicked fiyero#wicked movie#wicked#jonathan bailey
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🍀🍀🍀
Ah, immortal throuple my beloved. I have a bunch of fic ideas for follow-ups to "Every Hand to Hold", and currently it's all clustered together in a single doc, but here's a scene I've had in my head for a while that you've finally motivated me to actually type out! 💕 This is from the fic where Hob and Calliope have dedicated themselves to wooing Dream properly:
Hob wanted to get to the pub early to make sure he could grab a decent table for them. Something by the window, a little out of the way from where the crowds tended to gather and get the loudest. As he turns the corner though, he is halted by the sight of Dream already there. Dream’s dark silhouette is stark and recognizable even on opposite ends of the block. He is standing just beside the pub entrance, facing away from Hob. Hob smiles to himself, a little giddy that Dream had wanted to be early too. He starts walking again, and is just opening his mouth to call out when Dream turns. His gaze is downcast, and he looks… sad, and scared, and like he is mostly likely saying not very nice things in his head. And he is holding a red rose. Slowing to a stop, Hob feels frozen as he watches. Dream hasn’t seen him yet, is too focused on the flower in his hand as he bites his lips raw. Finally, Hob sees his shoulders slump, deflated and defeated. Dream turns to enter the pub, and as he does, he tosses the rose onto the ground, abandoning it. There is a long moment where Hob still feels rooted to the ground, brow furrowed as he replays the scene in his head. When he walks up to the entrance, he kneels down to scoop the rose off the ground. It is beautiful. A little battered on the side it had landed on, but vibrant and lovely, the thorns carefully snipped and a few picturesque leaves still attached to the stem. It is beautiful, and thoughtful, and so very sweet, and all Hob can think about is how Dream seems constantly convinced that he is too much. As though giving Hob a flower on a date would somehow scare him off. When he finally steps into the pub, he finds Dream quickly, grinning when he sees that he has snagged the exact table Hob was hoping for. Catching his eye, Dream smiles shyly, giving him a small wave as he makes his way over. But as he gets closer, Hob sees the exact moment Dream spots the rose tucked into the lapel of his blazer. His face goes bright red, his shoulders hitched up around his ears as he drops his gaze to the table, looking like he would like nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole. Hob has to nearly crouch to plant a soft kiss on Dream’s cheek, “Thank you,” he whispers, “it’s lovely.” As he sits in the chair across from him, Dream glances up warily, searching for any sign of Hob being mocking or disingenuous. But Hob only smiles, “I’m embarrassed I didn’t get you anything. If I don’t muck it up completely, I promise I’ll do better on the second date.” It breaks his heart to see the surprise on Dream’s face at the mention of a second date. “You don’t have to,” Dream replies softly. “I know,” Hob smiles sadly. Dream looks lost, and overwhelmed, so Hob reaches out to take his hand and starts rambling about his day, only pausing when they place their drink orders. Slowly, Dream relaxes, smiles a little easier, chimes in with his own comments and stories. At the end of the night, Hob walks him home like a gentleman, kisses him a little less like a gentleman, and then politely declines the invite upstairs, promising to call him tomorrow. When he gets home, he puts the rose in a vase and hugs Calliope tight, burying his face in her neck. “Flowers,” he chokes out, “On your date, you should get him flowers.”
#the sandman#immortal throuple#my writing#Hob and Calliope are taking Dream on some individual dates so they don't spook him by outnumbering him#plus when they're together in the early days Hob and Calliope are mostly elbowing each other and wrestling to snuggle Dream#get loved idiot#inspired by That One panel from the comics
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Starting over in Madrid
Hey, I'm back after having my account terminated. I'm starting to repost my fanfic Starting over in Madrid episode by episode. I've done minor corrections, mostly vocabulary, scenario temporality and pictures that weren't working well.
Feel free to read or reread it and gave me your feedback. We can't say it enough but we, writers, love feedback <3
Chapter 1 ➺ A harder job than I thought
Summary : After moving to Madrid as the new Real Madrid photographer, Nicky's eyes can't look away from the pretty face of Misa Rodriguez. But how is she going to handle her growing desire for the Canarian goalkeeper when her working contract's strictly forbidding her to date players? 1K words TW : None
✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧
I was never really interested in football before being employed at Real Madrid. Of course, I used to watch a few games on TV during the main championships. But I had never intended to work for a football club, least of all in Spain. But here I was, late twenties, speaking a few words of Spanish, entering the Ciudad Real Madrid for day one of my new job as the new official photographer.
Introductions went well. Staff was nice. Work seemed interesting, with quite a lot to do on the creative side. I felt great. My office was located on the second floor on the west side of the building, a bit apart from the training grounds. I took a few minutes to settle in my chair, gazed through the window at the Alfredo di Stefano stadium and saw the tiny silhouettes of the footballers training. My manager, Ana, came to have me introduced to the girls and I quickly grabbed my camera to follow her to the pitch.
The winter sun, cold but bright, blinded me as I came out. My eyes took a moment to adjust, shouts of trainers and players echoing all around. There were far more people than I expected, making me feel intimidated but Ana didn’t let me time to relax. She talked with some guys to interrupt training and the players slowly came toward us. They gathered around us, some of them still panting when Ana spoke again.
"Hello everyone, let me introduce you to our new photographer Y/N. But you can call her Nicky as she likes it better."
"Hi, I never liked my name", I said nervously.
The girls stared at me, some of them smiling friendly. I couldn’t help but notice their muscular arms and thighs. Strength oozed from their bodies. There were pretty faces among them too. Ana told me the names of each player. The last one, a very tanned girl, was looking away, looking slightly bored.
"And finally, this is Misa", she said pointing at her. Misa looked at me, her dark eyes resting on my face for just a moment while she quickly waved her hand in a welcoming gesture before she looked away again. She was really pretty and I felt my face grew hot. I was a professional photographer. It was explicitly written in my employment contract that dating the team members was prohibited. I shook away my inappropriate feelings as the introducing part ended.
A few days passed as I settled in my new life. I had found a tiny apartment in Lavapiés. Got everything I needed. I was rather happy to start over. I had quit my toxic ex-girlfriend a few months ago and my very boring previous job. Each day, I went to the pitch to film the team arriving and to take pictures of the footballers training in order to post on the social media. They all seemed nice, though some of them looked bothered to be photographed all the time. Linda, Naomi, Sofie and Hayley clearly enjoyed being in front of the camera while Ivana, Olga and Misa tried to avoid it most of the time. We chatted very little, everyone focused on their respective work.
***
Then came the day of the big photoshoot for brand-new kits. It was a very busy day. Adidas had designed a specific set with a moss background and real plants around. It was a bit too much for my taste but I didn’t have my word to say as the campaign was managed by the brand. I was assisting the Adidas photographer by giving pose instructions to the girls. I took some shoots too.
We were shooting for nearly five hours when Misa’s turn came. I couldn’t say I didn’t notice how attractive she was in her new pale purple kit. Her tan skin contrasted sharply with the fabric. She had a piercing on her left nostril I’d never seen before. Her long hair was let down, falling on her broad shoulders. She took her place, clearly used to being a model.
"Misa, face the camera", I said. Her dark eyes crossed mine before she looked straight at the camera and composed a smile. I could tell she was feeling confident, but I wasn’t sure she was really enjoying it. "Switch to profile, please". "Strike a pose". "Now put your gloves on". Misa obediently took pose after pose.
"Are we done yet?" she asked, looking at me patiently.
"I think we are thank you. Thanks God you’re the last one !"
"I find it tiring already, so I can’t imagine how it must be for you." She said, her brows frowning. She walked aside from the set. I started to put away the equipment next to her. "It’s okay, I like my job. Today is just a bit repetitive"
"Are we cool models ?" I looked up at her. Her face had relaxed since the photoshoot ended. A shy smile appeared on her lips as she suddenly seemed to think her question was embarrassing.
"In fact yes, indeed. Like, as a photographer, there is everything to adjust. When you’re training, you’re moving fast so I have to increase shutter speed. When you’re posing like today, the shutter can be slower but you need good exposure…" My voice trailed off as I took a glimpse of her perplex expression. "Sorry I have never known how to talk about my job. You see, technical aspects play a huge part in photography."
"Don’t worry, I haven’t a clue of what you are taking about but it actually got me interested." She was smiling frankly now and that made her ever more beautiful. I tried to focus one folding the spotlights back in there bags. "Those lights make you very warm and sweaty" she said. "I’ll go change. See you Nicky."
“Bye Misa.”
I was feeling both disappointed by her departure and relieved to be able to finish tidying things up more serenely when I heard Misa’s embarrassed voice rise from the backroom. "Hum… please can someone help me?"
I dropped the camera I was packing and went there thinking that fucking day would never end. I suppressed a laugh when I saw Misa struggling with her jersey over her head. The collar was picked up somewhere around her nose. I forced myself to look away from her well shaped abs and the low-cut of her sports bra.
"Misa, it’s Nicky, what’s happening ?"
"The jersey… in my nose ring. I can’t take it off !"
"Hold still, I’do it."
I slowly came closer to Misa and delicately held the jersey’s collar while looking for where her piercing had gotten stuck. A fabric fiber had indeed been taken inside the small golden ring. I tried hard to concentrate. Her mouth was twitching nervously. I was so close to her face, I could feel her breath. She pursed her luscious lips as I finally removed the string, let out a sigh and took off the jersey. Her eyes met mine again while I took a step back. "Thanks, I thought I’d lose my nose on this one…"
"You did well to ask for help, you could have hurt yourself."
"I’m glad it was you and not some random Adidas guy. All my friends are gone by now."
"Anytime !" I shrugged, feeling hot again. She gathered her clothes and started taking off her shorts. Footballers really weren’t modest. I turned around, ready to leave. I felt I was unable to take anymore glances at Misa’s body parts. "Bye then" I said softy.
"Bye, and Nicky, you definitely have to teach me some photo stuff! I’m serious." I slowly turned back to her. She had already put her trousers and T shirt on. "Yes, sure… after tomorrow’s training if you’d like."
"Yeah, count on me."
She gathered her stuff, gestured goodbye, and left.
My job was turning out to be harder than I expected.
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#misa rodriguez#misa rodriguez x reader#spwnt#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso x reader#real madrid feminino#woso imagine#woso soccer#writters on tumblr#woso writers#spanish goalkeeper#slow burn#long fic#misa rodriguez fanfic#woso x y/n#woso x oc
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Sonic 3 Review
Okay guys, I'm still gonna do some breakdowns of scenes and characters (feel free to keep sending in asks if you have something specific you want my take on), but wanted to get my thoughts on the movie out there.
Keep in mind that I came into Sonic through the movies, and have never played or watched any cut scenes from the older games. I have no idea the actual plot and specific details of any of them, just a vague "this happened in some game or another" in the broadest of senses.
So I didn't come into Sonic 3 with any preconceived ideas about what should be in it regarding Shadow's story. The movieverse is a separate universe (as are all Sonic media, in my mind), so even if there were some things that were different, I took them in correlation with what's been established, or what can be done under the rules and physics of the movie's world building.
Obviously spoilers ahead:
All in all, I found the movie fun, and it told a good story with good characterizations. The action started quickly and kept steady through most of it. We had an exciting introduction to Shadow at the very beginning, when he woke up and chose violence, and it was a good way to start things off.
Yeah, it was a little goofy in some parts, but this is a movie made to appeal to children, so Jeff and Co. couldn't go all into the angst for the whole thing. There were some parts I would have done differently, or omitted entirely, but if you look at the more weird parts of the movie as kind of along the same lines as Boom (especially for the dance number in the laser hallway) you can roll with it.
There were many moments that tugged at your heartstrings, and a few very powerful moments that I've already talked about. There is a much more emotional impact in this one that was missing from the first two, as our boys struggle with their actions and how they affect others. They were all handled very well, with each having a good role to play in the story.
The climax was great, and it was exciting to see Sonic and Shadow working together.
As I said, all in all, a really fun ride and my whole family enjoyed it a lot.
That said, let's look at a few of the points that I see some complaining about, and my take on them.
Not Enough Wachowski Family Moments
Okay, this one I will kinda agree with. We got a teeny peek into their dynamic is a family at the beginning, right before Rockwell showed up to whisk the boys away to clean up their mess. It would have been nice to see them all interacting more, to see how Knux and Tails have fit into this dynamic.
Devil's Advocate - There's only so much screen time available, and we know they're a family. We don't need to be bludgeoned over the head with fluffy scenes of the boys doing chores and having group hugs and all that. It would have slowed the narrative, and in the end, all that would not further reinforce the idea that they've come together as a family any more than their camping trip and celebration for Sonic's "B-Earth-day" already established.
Shadow's Origin Change
In the movieverse, Gerald claims that Shadow came to Earth encased in a meteorite. His energy readings were off the scale, so they took him to a facility to study him. He was not originally created by Gerald, and was simply an alien come to Earth and then taken to be studied.
Devil's Advocate - I have no opinion regarding this change, as the movieverse is different from any other media. They've already altered backstories where they needed, to make things at least somewhat 'realistic' and allow the boys to exist in 'our' world without major complications of Sonic just running around as a child fighting Eggman, and Knuckles being the last of his kind and having thousands of years separating him from his closest ancestors. (Not to mention the size change of the Master Emerald - having one the size of a VW Beetle would have been a little hard to hide or cart around.)
Having Shadow arrive kinda like Stitch is fitting in this version of the Sonic verse, as going into a lengthy explanation of how Gerald could manage to create a space hedgehog from scratch, when Angel Island may or may not exist, would have pushed suspension of disbelief a little much.
Maria's Not Sick
I thought the whole "Gerald takes her with him everywhere" thing for Maria seemed a bit flimsy, especially since she wasn't sick and in need of him to find a cure for her. They were in a super high security facility and there's this girl who's just allowed to wander freely simply because she's the granddaughter of the lead scientist?
I would have liked to see more of the reasoning behind her being there. And more of Maria and Shadow's relationship, especially from Shadow's side.
Devil's Advocate - Despite my comments above, I actually liked that they didn't make Maria's defining factor be her illness. She was a character in her own right, and befriended Shadow out of her own kindness, and not simply because he was created to cure her, and thus they were kinda forced to be together. She reached out immediately, and essentially kidnapped him from his tests to show him how to have fun. She showed him kindness, not because he was supposed to be her 'cure', but because she saw this little boy, all alone, and treated as a thing by the scientists, and took it upon herself to show him that he was more than that.
Too Much Gerald and Eggman Screentime
I will admit that sometimes it did seem like they were focusing a little too much on the Robotniks. We were subjected to a montage of Eggman living out little moments of childhood 'milestones' with Gerald, and that aforementioned dance number in the hallway was reminiscent of the dance battle in the second movie. Kinda silly.
Devil's Advocate - I think these scenes were to delve a little into Ivo's character a bit. It was established in the first one that he was an orphan, and through the second it reinforced the idea that he thought he didn't need anyone. He pushed people away, built his walls, and hid behind his bots. But now that he's faced with an actual blood relative, who seems to want him around, all those walls came down and we saw the hurt little boy within Ivo. This only made it hurt all the more when Gerald turned on him. And damnit, I actually felt bad for Ivo in that moment.
The Master Emerald/Chaos Emeralds
There is some confusion as to how these things worked. At the end of the 2nd movie, Sonic very distinctly sent all the chaos emeralds away. Knuckles reformed the Master Emerald without them. But in this movie, Sonic went Super with the Master Emerald, and somehow the chaos emeralds were still within it.
Devil's Advocate - Yeah, I got nothin'. 😆 Not sure if there was a deleted scene explaining that or something, but it seemed a pretty glaring continuity error.
But, whatevs. We go with it. 'Cause dis is how we roll.
And as an aside WHY DO YOU HATE WADE, JEFF??? Seriously, there were so many other ways to handle that scene, and you did THAT to him?? UUUGGGGHGGHGHGHGHh
Sonic Didn't Call Tom and Maddie "Dad and Mom"
Okay, yeah, I agree with this one. He called Tom 'Dad' at the end of the 2nd, meaning he finally accepted them as his parents. They call themselves a family. And yes, I will accept that he may slip back into their names during lighter times, when it's an emotional scene, he should call them "Mom and Dad". Such as in the cave and when Tom was hurt.
Devil's Advocate - Yeah, no, I can't argue with this. You can't have him call Tom 'Dad' in the last movie and then never touch on that again. The boys didn't even call each other 'brothers', for crying out loud! The perfect place to do that would have been the cornfield, and it was still 'friends'. THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR AND TOM AND MADDIE ARE THEIR PARENTS
~~~
I'm not saying the movie was 100% perfect. There were things I found silly, or unnecessary. Things I would have done differently.
But taking a step back and looking at the full picture, and not just the individual brush strokes, it was entertaining, fun, and had more than a few moments that I found really powerful, much more than either of the previous ones did.
I'm excited to see where they go in the next one. Things are really ramping up.
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Unexpected Visitor
A/N: I wanted to see Frio interact with @voraciousvore 's Candy because they are both cutiepies!
CW: Vore (soft, safe and consensual)
Minors do not interact.
If there was anything Frio had come to learn, it was the strange, ozone-esque scent of multidimensional traversal- namely, the wet 'pop' of the fabric of reality being torn open, the rush of an oddly floral scent mixed with something burnt like sandalwood, and the sigh of that yawning gateway sewing itself shut.
The frost giant had only experienced this a few times, barely a handful. He'd come to learn his home sat on a magical nexus and that his presence there as a highly concentrated source of mana generally provided impetus for the universal powers that be that trade players for a wee bit, if only to enjoy the sojourn from afar.
This time, the portal opened midair and a tiny blonde woman plummeted screaming from the dimensional tear. Frio's eyes widened and he threw himself across the room to catch her. He held the little woman against his chest as his side met the floor with a loud thud.
Both were silent a stunned moment, gasping to catch respective breaths.
The giant rolled fully into his back and let out a deep sigh of relief. He lifted his hand off the little blonde woman and looked down at her.
"Ymir's bones...Are you injured?"
Frio inquired.
The little blonde woman's expressive eyes were wide, wonder slowly overtaking the apprehension. They wandered Frio's face with open curiousity.
"No, I...I think I'm ok."
The frost giant offered a small sort of smile.
"Ah, thank the gods."
He let his head loll back and rest on cool stone.
Frio felt movement on his chest. The tiny woman was on the move- and oddly lacking in fear for someone who'd just been shot out into parts unknown only to come face to face with a giant.
Before Frio could think to ask her name or anything about her, he felt her climb up his neck, his jaw and plant herself on his cheek. Frio opened his eyes to find her staring down with a wide, sunny grin.
"Wow! You look totally different from any other giant I've ever met! And you're handsome, too, though not as much as my Martin."
The buxom blonde giggled. She laid down without a moment's hesitation and smoothed her hand over his soft, cool skin.
"I'm Candy. I don't know what just happened but it's nice to meet you!"
Frio's face went bright pink and he was stunned into flustered silence. Perhaps it was Candy's forwardness. Maybe it was feeling the soft contours of a woman's body pressed so easily against his face, or the fact that she smelled impeccably sweet- Frio felt his heart racing.
"W-Well, I.."
Frio stammered. His ambient magic began to form little curls of ice over the ground with his body at thier center.
"You are...are too kind, Candy. I am Frio."
Something in the woman's smile was utterly infectious, and so Frio felt himself smiling wider.
"I suppose some explanation would be helpful to you. Do you take anything in your tea, my dear?"
Candy giggled.
"Tea? You're so proper."
The tiny woman laid her head down and hummed.
"I think sugar would be nice."
The frost giant chuckled as he extracted Candy gently from his face and picked himself up off of the cavern floor.
The frost giant made them each a cup of tea (Candy's was sweetened to perfection) and he explained that she'd been pulled away from home- but not to worry. The portals generally came back for thier displaced charges to return the anomalous presence back home. Candy nodded, listening with great interest perched atop Frio's bent knee. His deep, velvety voice soothed her to no end and reminded her of Martin, of that kind tone in his words, of the gentleness with which he always treated her. Her knight in shining armour.
Frio asked what she had experienced prior to her arrival in his home, and she mentioned nothing terribly strange. She'd been getting ready for her day as per usual and had just stood up to climb in Sir Maneater's hand when the world had turned to stars and she'd been pulled somewhere.
Frio hummed. His mind wandered to the human so prominent in his own life- to a thicket of wild, curly brown hair, to dark blue doe eyes, rose bud lips and a body as frail and skinny as a birds. What was this Sir Martin Maneater going through at present? Frio imagined doctor McTavish being ripped from him so suddenly and felt his stomach tie in knots. He was greatful Candy had landed here and not several leagues north in the wastes, where his kind would have wasted no time on devouring as delicious a delicacy as this young woman in her prime.
The frost giant's stomach let out a hollow groan. His face fell.
"Oh dear, please forgive me."
Frio said quickly.
Candy laughed, utterly unphased.
"It's okay. I think I have that effect on most giants."
Frio's lip lifted at the corner in relief.
"I am most grateful for your magnanimity."
He said.
"I promise, I shall not eat you."
"Why not?"
Candy inquired.
Frio paused, utterly confounded by that simple question.
Candy covered her mouth and laughed harder.
"Oh my gosh, you are seriously so cute. I don't mind if you can like...y'know. Eat me safely! Martin eats me sometimes and it's actually really nice."
Frio's eyes blinked.
Was this woman he'd barely know an hour volunteering to let him eat her? Frio couldn't find his words and stared dumbfounded.
That was until his belly chimed in with another impatient grumble.
"I...I would not want to be untoward, miss Candy."
Frio blurted out.
Candy leaned forward with a wide grin.
"Aww, relax, Frio! You have my full and enthusiastic permission to eat me safely!"
The frost giant couldn't help but let out a laugh of his own. Carefully, he plucked the blonde from his knee and cradled her gently in his claws. Candy's lips formed an 'o' once she felt the gentle telltale tingle of magic soaking into her body.
"I promise, I shall ensure you return home to your knight safe and sound."
Frio pledged, head bowed chivalrously and a hand over his heart.
Candy smiled.
"You're sweet."
The frost giant lifted his hand baring the Candy to his blue lips and they parted, revealing fangs, a pale bluish-purple tongue and throat.
"Oh wow...your mouth looks totally different. What a pretty colour."
Candy climbed in without a moments' hesitation.
Frio felt the tiny human settle into the dip of his tongue. He was salivating over Candy's succulent, cloyingly sweet flavour already. He let out an inhuman sound, a satisfied rumble from deep in his chest. And while he was determined to be a gentleman about this whole thing, his tongue lapped at Candy's extremities- her arms, her soft, shapely legs. He tasted her as politely as he could manage, and while she shifted occasionally with the motions of his tongue, there was no struggle, no fear. Frio's heart swelled.
With a tip of his head, he swallowed Candy in one smooth motion. He traced her form down the length of his neck, all the way down her journey into his depths. Frio waited to feel her drop into his belly and reclined, a hand rested over his midsection.
"Thank you."
Frio spoke with soft sincerity, his eyes crinkled at the corner with his smile.
"Please, do get comfortable, my new little friend. And let me know once you would like to come out. This spell was designed to last for days if need be, but I shan't keep you for so long a time."
Within the giant, his belly churned nothing but the sweet aroma of tea around the human it safely contained. Initially, Candy thought she would have to feel her way around until a trio of lights softly flitted into existence. Frio's insides were that same pale colour and notably less sweltering than any other giant's Candy has been tucked away in. She was sadly used to being in messy stomachs with masticated food mush but she had to admit- just a bath of tea was sort of nice! Candy filed away the idea for when she got home to try with Martin.
The human woman smiled, awestruck by this brand new experience, by this lovely fellow she'd been lucky to chance upon.
"Thanks, Frio!"
She patted the wrinkled lining of the giant's stomach and sank into the flesh behind her, enjoying comfortable warmth, like relaxing in a herbal bath.
Candy felt a hand press in against the wall behind her as Frio slowly rubbed his middle.
The pair enjoyed thier individual bliss while they waited for the magical nexus to flare again and escort her home- Candy's relaxing warm belly bath and Frio's predatory instincts being sated.
#mouseymusings#male pred#female prey#soft vore#safe vore#consensual vore#willing prey#g/t vore#v0re#v.ore#v/ore
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oh god i was BEGGING for scenes like this with companions in DATV Something that actually felt dramatic and gave weight to their actions just to make me feel something (I was thinking about this when Lucanis got possessed by Spite in this scene)
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#I don't even like DAI's writing but it had little moments that kept me going#I felt like i kept waiting for some dramatic pay off to happen in DATV w the companions storylines and it never came#the closest I got was Davrin's with Isseya :// and a little bit w Harding and the Titans which sucks bc u have to kill one of them 🙄🙄🙄#and its so wierd bc 4 months ago I was very much NOT feeling DAI but now that i've played all 4 games and that I know#the pit falls of DAI and what to fix with mods#that game feels like a nice luxurious bath after a long day#<- a statement i'd never thought id be making pffff 🚬🚬🚬🚬#cullen rutherford#datv critical#da posting#adding to the tags days after: I feel this way bc a LOT of those companion quests in DATV really boil down to “this could've been an email”#whereas in DAI they were annoying (blackwall's grey warden trinket quest) but they had a MASSIVE payoff
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Good thing #19: Drinking coffee right now :)
#good things#I am having a nice time drinking my coffee so even though it's a very small thing I am adding it here#after all this is my blog for small things and I have decided that no small thing is too small to be added#i feel like i've doubled the posts I had on this blog today#but I am very happy with that#part of me worries that i'm adding too much in one day but the other part of me knows that some days it's hard to add even one thing#so I am just adding a ton if there is a ton#I am collecting good moments#it has taken me a very long time to be able to recognize the small good things and I want to document them all#I am creating a mosaic of good things#a mosaic of light as my name suggests
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#it always upsets me when people belittle or mock children for not being rational when they're experiencing emotion#for so many reasons but mostly because. we all feel the same#whether we are 7 or 20 or 56 or wherever we may be#i still feel small out of nowhere for things i didn't realize i was feeling until a certain point#sometimes it's for the same reasons and sometimes it's not#but i had a moment like “i had a nice day? i feel like i've been going and going along just fine”#but i live under subtle pressure constantly and forget it's there sometimes. but usually i like to pretend like it isn't there#i have been confined to boxes my whole life in so many different ways and i'm aching to break from them#i'm being patient and understanding but. christ shdkghgk#i need to disappear for a while#float in a lake. hide in the mountains. lay in a field. idk idk#liminal cravings#sap says
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#First Fifteen episode. Came and went. Nothing in particular to note.#I really like fifteen s/kk they're my favourite s/kk. I also really like Fifteen Dazai I find him very likeable and endearing#There's something exceptionally soft about Fifteen s/kk. About the constant reminder of how young they are#I think there's just this very sweet feeling of two people who... Aren't really made to get along‚ but kids WILL be kids.#And it's exceptionally cute to see. Yes they come from different side yes they have clashing personalities but kids will have fun together.#Will mock each other and try to compensate their insecurities with overconfidence and get hang up on silly matters#And it's really so tender!!! It's nice to see them this way.#I think at the end of the day the author did a very good job at portraying that– how young they really are‚ without falling it the trap of–#“making them act adult because they had to grow up too soon”. They *had* to grow up too soon. But they're still kids.#I derail but back to the actual episode /really/ nothing much noteworthy. The animation got a terrible downgrade from the previous–#season and Dead Apple‚ but I suppose it could be worse? There's even a noticeable worsening in the quality of the backgrounds;#they just... Lack all the meticulous details they used to. There's still some occasional animation highlights in the chibi stylized moments#which I find particularly enjoyable.#And that's about it. If I find time for it I'd like to make time to catch up with the manga these days... For now off to the next episode!!#random rambles#Ah‚ that said: Bones' job at rendering kids is quite‚ uhm... Ineffective.#And I've never been a huge fan of Chuuya's va (really just a matter of personal preference)‚ but here they sound even more out of place...
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#my peculiar wife#i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder)#then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters#at least yesterday wasn't a total bust#and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages#i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have#these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks.....#i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel#can't go wrong there.........#the man kept calling me sir#sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven#so that's nice#with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment#because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it#and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness#where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might#might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc#i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience#feels like i'm directly endangering it#my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of#my peculiar wife james spader#just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long#long time#and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......
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rant in tags (mental health issues)
#i have ocd and it's been getting worse over the past 2 yrs#the intrusive thoughts are ...a LOT. so many every day.#it really exhausts me to the bone some days.#I've never had any help for it or anyone to talk to about it#just makes me feel very alone sometimes.#I finally was able to get a therapist altho she doesnt deal with ocd so I wont be getting help in that area for the moment#but I just wanted to post this just....to vent and feel like maybe someone out there heard me.#I've tried to find places online to talk about this stuff but all the places I've tried have been really awful#people online can be so terrible.#tumblr honestly feels like the safest space to me. people here have always been so cool and nice.#i just wanna feel like im not alone i guess.#so yeah anyway#just venting i guess#will delete later
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#sometimes I wish there was like a guide or sth to dealing with intimacy when you're ace#not just in relationships but also in relationships#bc sometimes I think back to conversations I've had with non-ace folks in the past#and usually they would come down to sth like 'when you know you know'#or 'there's gonna be this look and you'll know it's the right moment'#which all seems fake af and untrue and entirely un-applicable if you've agreed to sth else#like.. if you've agreed to not worry abt that and that you'll pick up the topic if anything ever changes#but how do you know if things have changed. how do you know what you want vs what you're wanting only in the moment#and how do you not make it awkward if you bring it up only to later realise maybe you were just having a weird moment#(like. I go through phases every month and I know it's coming. but I also know it'll go away again eventually)#(and like.. I guess I'm still terrified of setting expectations for things I can later not fulfill)#(and sure that's prob due to fucked up shit that happened in past relationships and this is not the same)#((..the difference a partner you can trust to keep their word on respecting your boundaries can make...))#anyway. scared shitless of starting sth I can't finish. also unsure if I want to start anything in the first place#and just so tired of not knowing where to even fucking start. gonna blame my migraine weirdness for posting this in the first place#a day in the life of..#(((how to know if maybe you'd like something now when you haven't in the past but now all parameters are different..#..and maybe it would be nice but maybe it would still suck and you'd end up hating it and feeling regretful..#..and maybe you'll never be able to get out of your head enough to just have a moment and go with it and be happy)))
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#had an okay writing day for my thesis yesterday and it was a rly nice day overall and then idk. rsd hit i guess and#i went to sleep way too late so ofc today i've been feeling foggy and i haven't written a word and it's 6pm like..............#makes me feel like i wasted the work i did yesterday and i should've gone to my grandpa's bday celebrations yday#even though that didn't feel viable. he sure made me feel like shit for missing it too!#it just feels like see i could've gone and done yday's work today or some shit which ?? but sure#i just know myself and im p unbearable to be around rn/when im stressed/on a deadline so yk. + travel time + adjusting plus socialising...#also had a long talk w/ my friends yday and it was nice and it was all about how you experience consciousness but also idk.#also i keep being so sharp and kinda mean to one of my friends and it's sooooooooo she says it's fine and it's not that bad but ughhhhhhh#im sure the core of this spiral is i just rly don't like myself and i think im right not to so like. what now#and none of this even matters like. get it toGETHER#also adhd meds aren't magically fixing my life so that's another scam (but ok they DO help at least i can actually write and think then)#anyways.#i think it's. feeling this & hating myself and my friend talking about how they're past that and life is still hard for them#and it's not about me but it does make me feel stupid like true all my problems are self-made not even circumstancial like.#also feel like i keep saying the wrong thing to people and i keep messing up my words lately and boooooooo idk#anyways im ok i just don't wanna moan abt this to anyone specifically but clearly im stuck so yk?#should i share more nice moments here too??? i just always feel like whatever emotion im feeling disappears when i share it so???#maybe bc i overthink it then or whatever#but i can!! maybe i should#for yday: had a rly rly fun convo with a friend who gave me the wildest updates ever + spent time with 2 of my best friends#+ smelled the flowers and that v v specific spring to summer air and felt the sun on my face#FINE maybe therapists have a point
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Text recounting of the full events below but oh my god please watch this person explain the wildest thing happening to them
[image text]r/trueoffmychest post by CptnSpaceCase tiktok handle kelseycanstand
Today my aide cooked what should not be cooked
I have to get this out, because today feels like an actual nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from.
I'm disabled, and need help with stuff around the house. Today was the second day with a new agency and new home health aide, "Tina." I set it up so she would come by in the morning while I'm sleeping (insomnia is killer), and I texted her last night what I would need done today.
One of those things was to roast some precut squash I'd gotten so I could have it with my salads and pasta. I was very clear in my instructions: what it looked like, where it was in the fridge, how to use the oven, how to cook it. I also have a roommate who was up and told her she could ask them for help if she couldn't find anything. Or come get me if truly necessary.
Now, I have three pet ball pythons. They eat rats that I thaw from frozen in the fridge in a reusable plastic bag. Yes, that's where I'm going with this.
Tina couldn't find the squash, and so, obviously, that meant she should roast the first other thing she could see that was technically also encased in plastic, in a completely different area of the fridge. The FUCKING RATS. In butter and salt, in my nice baking dish.
And like, that's insane all on its own, but if you're going to cook any animal, you should at least clean and skin it first, right??? Like, do the crazy, disgusting thing properly so I can respect the effort, instead of sticking them in as is. Fur and guts and all.
And the smell. Good God baby Jesus the SMELL. It woke me up and had me gagging the moment I opened my bedroom door. Definitely not squash. Or food-smelling for that matter. At first I thought the squash had spontaneously rotted overnight and she'd tried to cook it anyway. That would have been slightly less insane and much preferable.
I had to pull it out of her what she was cooking instead when she said she couldn't find it (it was in plain sight), had to open the oven and see my snakes' dinners in place of my own and still couldn't process what the fuck was happening, what I was looking at and smelling. I don't like yelling at people and generally avoid it. Today was a day for exceptions. And at the end of my half-crazed, dissociative rant, I told her to get the whole dish and its contents and herself out of the fucking house. And to not come back.
Suffice to say, I've contacted the agency to report it and am requesting a new aide. Now I'm sitting at a cafe trying to calm down and eat something despite the scent memory that's taken up permanent residence and turning my stomach. The whole house reeks like musty, sewage-dipped pork that had been left out for a whole day before being cooked in rancid oil, and I'm not sure Febreeze is gonna cut it. I don't want to go home. 🫠😭
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