#i know this is how you make gaming friends but maybe not at 3am when i have to work the next day lol

[insomtiny]

this dude in fallout 76 kept inviting me to join his team and i just kept ignoring it cause i was like that's my purse i don't know you but then he APPEARED and started talking to me in proximity chat and he was like "yeah you should join our team we're about to go do a mission and you'll get a bunch of xp and level up faster" and started explaining how to accept his invite which is really nice of him but also i needed to get off soon so i turned my mic on and told him so and he just went "oh shit" and ran away? 😭

[wcnderlnds]

bae bae | choi su-bong (thanos)

・❥・ summary: after a night out at club pentagon you end up in bed with your friend who has zero shame ・❥・word count: 1.6k ・❥・warnings: 18+. mdni. oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, thanos is rough. swearing. mentions of drugs, female reader. ・❥・ authors note: ... this is pure filth, im so sorry. also this is pre-squid game <3 i also havent added my taglist in case people dont want to be tagged in smut but if you do let me know!!

The whole night had been a blur. How you’d ended up back in your own bed you had no idea but thankfully you’d made it home safe. The music from Club Pentagon still echoed through your ears like an anthem constantly playing in your head. You opened your eyes, your hands coming up to rub them with the palm of your hands. What time was it? You leaned over, grabbing your phone off the bedside table to see it was 3am. With a groan, you buried your head back into the safety of your pillow making a mental note to yourself to never drink so much again. All you could remember was that it had been a rough day, so bad that your friend Su-bong had decided a night out at his favourite club was the perfect remedy. So much for listening to him. That was on you, really. None of his ideas were ever good. They mostly consisted of drowning feelings in alcohol or taking one of his colourful little pills to forget what was going on.

As your thoughts drifted to him, a quiet groan filled the room causing you to perk up. It was coming from next to you so you just had to assume it was Thanos making noises in his sleep. He did that often – his nightmares coming frequently. If he was next to you that meant he had been the one to bring you home. A big thank you was in order for him in the morning when you could handle being awake. If your pounding head was anything to go by, you were going to have one hell of a hangover. Your eyes closed once again as you tried to drift back off to sleep. Just as you were on the verge of falling asleep, you heard a grunt.

Okay, what was going on here?

You turned around, sitting up slightly as you took in the scene before you. Yeah, there Thanos was. Everything seemed normal until you saw his chest rising and falling rapidly, movement under the blankets catching your eye. Your brows furrowed. This man wasn’t doing what you thought he was doing in your bed, was he? Only one way to find out.

Maybe it was your hungover mind but the thought of what you might find excited you. The way he was biting his lower lip to keep quiet only fueling your intrusive thoughts. Your fingers grasped the blanket, pulling it off. Well, you were right.

There he was, hand wrapped around his cock as he jerked himself off. Your eyes fixated on his hand that began speeding up, his hips bucking off the bed for more friction. Oh, he was really into this. How had he not realised you’d caught him? Part of you wanted to watch him finish, the throbbing between your legs thinking for you more than your brain. You hadn’t even realised how into this you were until you caught yourself slipping. There had been moments in the past where the two of you had almost hooked up but it had never gone past making out. Something always got in the way whether it was his friend Nam-gyu interrupting or his need to take another pill – it never led anywhere.

You cleared your throat deciding it was better to let him know you’d caught him than let him carry on. His eyes flew open, his hand still as he looked at you. He wasn’t embarrassed – you were certain he didn’t even know that emotion. He just looked at you expectantly, pushing himself to sit up slightly, his erection still standing for the world to see. 

“What?” He asked unbothered, annoyed even that you’d stopped him.

“I just caught you jerking yourself off and you don’t care?” You blinked at him. This was Thanos, of course he didn’t care. He had no shame.

“Why the fuck would I? Now, you gonna let me finish or help me out here.” He gestured towards his cock, his hand slowly stroking himself again.

As you watched, you couldn’t help but be transfixed. He knew what he was doing and it was working. The cogs in your brain were working overtime as you fought with helping him or ignoring him and letting take care of himself. He could see it, the smirk on his face making him look even more attractive. ‘Fuck it’, you thought. 

“Fine, you’ll owe me one, though.”

“No problem, Senorita. Now get those pretty lips wrapped around my dick.”

You didn’t have time to react before his hand came up to your head, pushing you down towards his hardened length. Your tongue darted out, teasing the head but he wasn’t having it. He was too horny for teasing. He needed to have his cock stuffed down your throat or he was going to go insane. So, without warning, he pushed your head down onto him. It took you by surprise, almost choking but you steadied yourself, hands gripping his hips as you finally found a rhythm. Your lips moved up and down his length, tongue flattening out against the underside of his cock.

“Mhmm, just like that, pretty girl,” he rasped in that deep voice of his, his fingers tangling in your hair pushing you down onto him. You felt him hit the back of your throat almost gagging on him before he pulled you back up. “You’re doing so good.”

The praise was turning you on more than you’d like to admit. Your lips wrapped around him again, taking him as deep as you could without choking but it wasn’t enough. His hips bucked up into your mouth, his hand firmly tangled in your hair. You decided to give up and let him have his way. He felt your mouth slacken, the feral grin on his face letting you know he was more than willing to fuck your mouth stupid.

His grunts and groans filled the room as he thrust up into your mouth at a rapid pace. You could feel his cock twitching each time he hit the back of your throat. Tears sprang at the corner of your eyes as you gagged on him, drool spilling from the corners of your mouth. “Fuck, I’m so fuckin’ close.”

Just as you were sure he was about to finish, he yanked your head off him, pushing you back down onto the bed. In a frenzy, he pushed the skirt up you were wearing, pulling your panties to the side. He slid his index finger along your pussy, almost groaning at how wet you were when he hadn’t even done anything. You were so damn desperate, he loved every second of it. “Wanna come inside this sweet, little pussy. You gonna let me, baby?”

He dragged his cock along your folds coating himself in your slickness and that was game over for you. Frantically, you nodded your head. That was all he needed. He pushed himself inside you in one deep thrust. The loud moan you let out surprised you, Thanos’s eyes almost rolling to the back of his head at the feeling of finally being inside you after all this time. No interruptions, no need for a high. This was the only high he needed. He’d been missing out. He pushed your legs up and over his shoulders, pulling his cock almost all the way out and thrusting inside once again. His pace was anything but gentle, the tight grip he had on your hips sure to leave bruises. Your hands gripped the bedsheets below you as he pounded into you. There was no way you were going to last long if he kept this up but then again neither was he. You could tell with the way his eyebrows scrunched up that he was holding back. At least he wasn’t selfish in the bedroom.

“Su-bong,” you moaned, back arching as you felt your orgasm fast approaching. The moaning of his name was almost his undoing.

“Yeah? You like that, huh? Like being fucked stupid by your best friend?” He panted, the sound of his hips slapping against yours echoing off the walls of the small room. The bed occasionally banging against the wall with the intensity of his thrusts. Your neighbours were definitely going to have something to say about it in the morning. “Come for me. Wanna feel you squeezin’ the life outta me.”

One particular hard thrust and that was it. A loud, almost pornographic moan fell from your lips as you saw stars. Your fingers pulled at the sheets, legs quivering as your orgasm washed over you. Thanos didn’t let up his pace, his eyes drawn to where your bodies were joined as he fucked into you. The feeling of your walls squeezing around his cock bringing him closer and closer to the edge. “Fuck, fuck. Gonna come. Gonna fill you up real good.”

It took one, two more thrusts when he stilled inside you, his cock twitching as he came harder than he had in his life. He was sure he saw the whole damn universe, throwing his head back as he groaned. His hips shallowly thrust into you, pulling out once he’d finished. Did he clean you up? Nah. He flopped back down next to you, grabbing his vape off the bedside.

“We should’ve done that a long time ago,” he chuckled, taking a puff. He handed it over to you, his lazy eyes meeting yours. “Do I still owe you one?”

You took a hit of the vape, nodding your head as you passed it back to him. “Oh, hell yeah you do. Not getting out of it that easily.”

“Was hoping you’d say that,” he winked at you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and bringing you into his side. It wasn’t cuddling but it was something to show you his appreciation. Better than nothing.

[i2sunric]

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (p.js)

pairing: doctor!jay x reader (f)

summary: you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up!

warnings: fluff (like, 3am typa fluff), early 2000s au, childhood friends to lovers but they’re already lovers, angst (with comfort) cuddling and kissing, a little suggestive (no smut), they grow up together (narration starts from 18), mentions of stress and fainting, mentions of pregnancy, fighting, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.

published: 29th April 2024

wc: 10.5k (longer than i intended ;-;)

tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @wtfhyuck @kim2005bomi @luvpjs7 @sundoie @sunghours @anittamaxwynnn @tinie03

It was the last summer of senior year at high school, the year that everyone would choose what path to undertake, the life they wanted to live, the job they wanted to get.

As scary as it sounded, you didn’t want to think about it yet, just to focus on living your last summer as a teenager before adulthood kicked in with all its difficulties and challenges.

You were laying on the bed at Jay’s holiday cottage at the lake, the temperature of the afternoon was too hot to let you stay outside, so you seeked some escape from the humidity in his bedroom. The grids were only slightly open to let some sun rays enter the room, just enough not to turn on the light.

You were reading a pook, wearing only a dump swimming suit and a pair of jeans shorts, you drenched the sheets but you knew it would be perfectly dry by the evening, so you didn’t really care.

Jay laid on the other side of the bed, your feet beside his head as he studied an anatomy book. You had a clue on how difficult it was to enter the medicine faculty, but seeing your boyfriend giving up his whole summer just to bury his nose in those headache-bringers books made you feel sympathy for all the doctors.

The book in your hand had become boring five minutes before so you just closed it, letting it rest on your chest. You nudged Jay’s arm with your foot “I’m bored.” You let out a small sigh

He looked up from his study material and gave you a soft smile before reaching out to pat your ankle. "I know you're bored, baby. But I'm only an hour away from finishing this.” Jay gave you a reassuring smile

“After I’m done we could go outside and sail the small boat?” A couple of minutes of silence passed and he was ready to you making a fuss about how boring and dull studying was until you said “Or maybe I can help you with your studies?”

"You sure that you wouldn't mind helping me with my studies?" He replied, raising his eyebrows. He let go of your ankle, but he quickly pulled you by your knees while you were curled up on his bed and laid you on top of his lap instead, so now you were using his body as a mattress.

“I’m not as smart as you,” You murmured, snuggling comfortably on his chest as he placed the book in front of both your faces. The amount of latin and difficult words made you close your eyes right away “I’ll just flip the pages when you need.”

Jay let out a low chuckle and pressed a featherlight kiss on your head. It was a small team game, he tried to involve you in his studies, making you ask him some questions to know if he had said it right.

You felt a warm sense of pride in your chest to know that your boyfriend was working so hard for the sake of his dream. You flipped to a page that had a big skeleton drawing on it, beside it there was a man with all the muscles without skin.

You scrunched your nose at the amount of names all the bones and muscled had “You memorised all those names?”

“Not as easily as others do," He confessed, letting out an audible sigh as he caressed your head. "I find it easier when I explain the answers to someone who's willing to listen."

You looked up to his face, your eyes shining with endless love “I’m always willing.”

Jay gave you a sheepish smile, hooking one arm under your knee to intertwine both your legs together. He squeezed your hip in response and you two resumed studying together.

After around fifteen minutes, you started to become bored again. All those letters made your eyes feel heavy, you blinked them a few times “Are you done yet?”

He chuckled softly as he shook his head from side to side. "I still have to memorise more chapters," He sighed, looking up at you with an apologetic grin.

Despite his efforts, it was clear that he was having troubles memorising the contents of the page, and even he knew he was going to be up for quite a while more.

You caressed his chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body even under the white sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

You toyed the necklace you had given him for his fifteenth birthday in your fingers, the same jewel he had sworn to never take off “What are you studying now?”

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at you, smiling as he watched you play with the necklace. "Right now I'm studying about different body systems and conditions, the respiratory system." he said, looking back down at you

You laid your ear on his chest and he fell silent, you tried to hear his breath and commented with a forced funny voice “Your lungs function well.”

“I guess they do.” Jay chuckled, rubbing your back as he continued to study.

The room fell silent once again but your head was full of thoughts.

You started thinking about your future, you pictured yourself in different situations or workplaces but none of them seemed good enough. Or maybe it was you not good enough.

"You know, it's admirable that you already know what you want to be in the future..." You murmured, snuggling closer to him.

The corners of his lips spread into a small smile as he heard your compliment. "Is it admirable for someone my age?" He asked softly, brushing your hair out of your face

“Uh uh,” You hummed, flipping another page for him “I don’t know what I want to be,” You confessed quietly “I don’t see myself anywhere.”

Jay raised his eyebrows as he stopped studying for a long moment to give you his whole attention.

He then looked down at you and lifted your chin to face him. "Are you really unsure about what you want to be in the future?" He asked, his eyes searching for yours.

Your eyes met his deep brown once, and you shook your head, feeling vulnerable. “No, I don’t.” You sighed softly “My mother… My mother wants me to go to some sort of job counsellor.”

Jay let go of your chin to caress your back again “That’s a great idea, actually.” He encouraged, smiling gently. “I mean, it’s better to ask for help now than choosing something you don’t want to do… ain’t it?”

You hummed, dropping your head on his chest “I guess so.” Your tone went quiet and he had been with you enough to know you didn’t want to discuss that topic anymore.

A few minutes passed by and your yawn caught Jay’s attention. He caressed your head, letting his hand run through your hair “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”

“And who’s gonna flip your pages?” You asked, your tone sleepy and your eyes clearly fighting to stay open

He chuckled, placing an incredibly soft feather-like kiss on your nose “I can flip them myself, you look like you’re going to pass out from your tiredness.”

“I guess I could.” You rested your head more comfortably on his chest and closed your eyes. “But when I wake up you better be done studying.”

Jay nodded “Alright baby.” He smiled, watching as you drifted off to sleep right there in his arms. At moments like that, he thought he was the luckiest man alive to have you— and he planned to never love you.

⪩⪨

College years had arrived and to no one’s surprise, you and Jay were still a couple. Seriously, you two loved each other too much to stay away from the other, even with your busy schedules.

You were laying on the lower bunk bed in his dorm. His roommates were out for dinner and left the whole house for you two. And obviously, what was Jay doing instead of spending time with you? Studying.

You acted like you didn’t really mind, flipping through the pages of a magazine. But seeing his back facing you, his hand moving as he was scribbling things on his notebook— you couldn’t help but feel sorrow.

“Are you going to study the whole night?” You asked quietly, not wanting to sound rude as you rolled on your wide to face him.

Jay raised his brows and finally turned around to look at you. His face was tired, pronounced dark circles under his eyes and he had probably skipped his self care routine for a few days. That didn’t make him less attractive, though.

“Pretty much,” He replied “I’m kind of behind on a lot of study materials.”

“Oh.” You nodded, shifting again to face the mattress of the other bed on top of Jay’s. He took in your bored expression and grimaced “You know you don’t have to stay here while I study, right?”

“But we don’t have time to spend together apart for some evenings,” You stated, looking back at him with a pout.

He chuckled softly, letting out a quiet sigh before closing his study materials and walking over to the bed. He climbed in beside you so he was under the covers with you. He then pulled you in and cuddled you tightly. "I know," He murmured, squeezing you a little tighter “I know baby.”

You rested your forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don't want to disturb you.”

Jay laughed quietly as he kissed the top of your head. "You're not disturbing me in the slightest bit, so don't apologise,"

He said, running his hand through your hair gently. "I honestly don't mind having you beside me while I study." And you knew that, but sometimes you felt as if you were just an element of disturbance in his daily life.

It all started when you saw him fall into a deep slumber anytime he sneaked in your dorm, like he hadn’t closed eye for weeks; then how he’d always find a way to escape your dates to review a few materials and like now, when he’d study with only you in the room.

You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just trying to survive college, and you felt guilty to have such resentment.

You looked up at him from his shoulder “I just… miss you nowadays.”

His eyes instantly softened "I miss you too.” He sighed “I know I’ve been studying a lot more lately, and I understand if you feel like I'm not spending enough time with you," He admitted.

“And I understand that you’re busy,” You acknowledged “You always work so hard for your degree.”

Jay smiled sadly and rubbed your arm up and down "I know I study like crazy, but it's because all of these things matter so much in the future.” He started explaining “It means that I'll be able to have a more secure job and..." he sighed again and paused before continuing “And i wouldn't have done this if I knew I couldn't spend time with you."

Your brows knitted “Don’t say that.” You raised your head so you could look into his eyes.

“You’ve been wanting to be a doctor since we were kids, Jay, And—“ Your voice cracked a little “I can’t guarantee we’ll be forever together, but you’ll always have a stable job with the degree you’re studying for.”

Jay nodded “I know that too…” He rubbed his temples, frustrated “I just wish I could spend more time with you.”

You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “It’s okay, when exams season is over we’ll go on a small vacation, sounds good?”

He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tightly around your body while pulling you closer towards him. "Sounds nice." he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your forehead “Although…”

You asked in a quiet voice "Although?" Jay looked away, “I still have a big exam coming up next month," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know how well I’m going to do, honestly."

“Oh,” You gulped, blinking “And why do you think so?”

Jay gave you a half-smile "I Just feel like I'm not studying enough. The material i need to memorise.. It’s so much— I'm worried that I won't be able to remember most of it when the time comes."

You stayed silent for a few beats, trying to find any solution to help him “Maybe we should do a no-contract month?”

It took him a moment to process what you said "A no contact… month?" Jay repeated, looking away at the wall "Do you mean.. as in no contact with each other? For the entire month?"

You nodded slowly, not sounding sure of your own choice “So you don’t have any distraction and can concentrate on your classes?”

He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long and steady breath before speaking. "I understand it might help me with my studies, but.." Jay looked away from you again, unsure "Don't you think it's a bit too extreme?"

You fidgeted with the blanket, looking down “I know..”

“I mean... it seems pretty extreme." His fingertips then began to massage his temples. "You're right though, I do get pretty distracted when we're together, and my studies have been lacking because of that."

You tried to mask the pain you felt in your heart with a small smile “It’s just a month.”

Jay couldn't help but frown at the idea of not talking to you or seeing you for an entire month. "Yeah, but—" he started, but then suddenly realised. "Wait, does this no-contact month also mean that we can't meet either?"

“People usually do it after a break up, but we can do it just to focus on college. It’s like we’re off but we aren’t, we just don’t talk to each other for a month.” You exclaimed, nodding

He bit his bottom lip “We really can’t meet for a whole month? At all?”

“Baby, listen,” You caressed his cheek, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I don’t like this either, but it’s for the best?” You asked “I don’t want to get in your way.”

He sighed once again “You’ll never get in my way, never say that.” He then slowly nodded his head.

"I completely understand your point, but...it just feels way too bizarre.” His brows were furrowed. “I mean, we're used to talking every day, for us to stop talking for an entire month, it's just..." His words trailed off as he sighed and looked away.

You moved some hair away from his forehead “Just until your next exam.” You said “I’ll work my part time job, save some money and we’ll rent somewhere for a week, just us.”

Jay looked at you, worry painted all over his face “And you’re sure you’re completely okay with doing this?” You gulped down “No,” You whispered “But I’ll have to.”

He seemed to debate your suggestion, silence filling the room. After a couple of minutes, he caressed your cheek “Fine, I guess it's what's best for the both of us right now." He murmured.

“Just stay with me tonight,” You begged, “We’ll start tomorrow.”

His heart broke a little at your wobbling bottom lip “Let’s make the most of the night, my roommates will be back in early morning anyways.” Jay was still surprised you suggested that weird break, and he was even more stunned he had accepted.

You took his face in your hands, bringing him in for a kiss. “I love you.” You murmured on his lips.

Jay softly smiled against your mouth before he kissed you back, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he started to pull you into him. His arms squeezed you more as he deepened the kiss a bit more, letting out a soft groan into your mouth. "I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.” You stated. He smirked and shifted position so he was now on top of you, resting his weight on his elbow not to crash you down “Bet?”

His hand cupped your cheek before slowly sliding down on your chest. You gasped since it was cold. “Jay… someone might hear us.”

“I don't care,” Jay shook his head, his tone breathless. His mouth claimed yours once again, full of unspoken but mutual feelings “Be mine for the night.”

“I’m always yours.” You said, letting him do anything he wanted, knowing you had made an oath to never leave his side.

⪩⪨

Finally, college had almost finished and it was the last day before university. Anyone would’ve been on cloud 9 but you felt a pang of sadness. It meant you and Jay had to part ways, the university he had chosen was in the big city, five hours away from your hometown.

You waited for him outside the graduation hall, seeing groups of overjoyed students throwing their hats in the air.

Jay came out of the room, rushing after having read your message. He wore his graduation gown and looked ever so perfect.

He saw you, a bright smile immediately appeared on his face as he started to walk to you.

He was incredibly nervous about leaving for college and it showed on his face as he approached you, but seeing you there made everything else seem a bit less threatening.

He finally reached you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You came," he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You hugged his chest and whispered “How could I not?” Jay squeezed you back as he grinned, "I'm glad that you did, but I was already sure you would.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.”

“I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, doc.” You teased him with the nickname, but your teary eyes gave away your true feelings.

“This year has gone by so fast.” He murmured, caressing the back of your neck "And of course I’m stuck with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." His smile was so gentle it made you fall for him over and over again.

But the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making you frown “What’s wrong?”

Jay shook his head, “I’m just worried about us now since we'll have to do long distance."

Your lips trembled but you still managed to let your words out “We’ll be okay, right?”

His heart sank as he noticed your trembling lips. He gently squeezed you and gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Of course we'll be okay. If anyone's going to make long distance work, it's the both of us.”

Jay caressed your cheek with his thumb “I believe in us, and I’m going to come back as often as I can so we have time together. It'll be okay."

“Right,” You forced out a smile “We’ll make it work.”

“I’ll be back for summer, we can always go to the lake cottage,” Jay reassured, knowing you’ve always loved your summer trips to his holiday house

“And whenever we have a holiday—" He muttered, a small frown appearing on his face when he realised that you wouldn't be able to see each other as often as they used to.

You couldn’t hold it anymore and a few tears fell down your cheeks, you sniffled “Of course.”

His eyes widened when he noticed you were crying "Hey... hey, hey, hey," He murmured softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. "Don't cry right now, everything's going to be okay, mh?”

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, smiling with sad eyes “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Jay’s face contorted into a painful expression, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.

He had always hated seeing you crying, but knowing that he was the reason behind your tears made his stomach close. “You know that I'm going to miss you just as much as you'll miss me once we're long distance, right?" He asked.

You chuckled and nodded, sniffling once again “I’ll be here waiting for you, Jay.”

"I'll be back for you every chance I get," He promised, squeezing you a bit tightly.

"Remember to keep in touch constantly, alright? No matter how busy we are, let's always make time for each other over the phone." Jay took out his phone from the pocket. “I bought this new Nokia only for you.”

You smiled widely and showed him your phone, a Nokia of the same type just in a pinkish colour “I bought this for you too.”

Jay pulled your face close to his chest, caressing your head and hair in a gentle manner, just like he always did.

He never failed to make you fall for him with every small action, treating you as if you were worth it. And to him, you were worth every fight, every difficulty coming with relationships. He’d endure it all just to be with you.

“I’m sorry,” You took a deep breath, trying not to let your voice shake. “I didn’t even congratulate you.” You smiled widely, “I’m so proud of you, baby. I really am.”

Jay hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear that until he did.

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you, for always being by my side.” He placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead "You know, since it was your graduation today as well... Maybe I should give you a graduation present.” He trailed off “I actually have a surprise for you, if you would like it."

Your brows shot up in surprise “You do?” Jay nodded and motioned you to wait.

He battled a little with his gown before retrieving a tiny velvet box from the pocket “Here you go, baby.” Your eyes scanned it, “What is it?”

Jay bit his bottom lip to hide his smile “Open it.” He held it out for you to take. You gave him a small stare before opening the small box, revealing two couple rings.

Inside there was also a note that said ‘One day you'll get the wedding ones.’ Your breath hitched.

He smirked as he watched the expression on your face change, becoming incredibly surprised and even a bit teary-eyed as you opened the box.

His eyes softened as he glanced down at the rings “I know they're not the actual wedding bands and it'll take a while until we get to that point... but I wanted to give you these as a symbolic gesture of me promising that we'll be married someday."

You mumbled nonsense for a few seconds, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt overwhelmed by his sudden actions “I love them, I love them so much— I love you.” You blurted out.

Jay held you against his chest as you both embraced each other. "I love you too," He whispered, burying his head into your hair. "I love you so much."

“Oh lord,” You stumbled a little back to look at the rings once again “How much did you pay— They look so precious.”

“Don’t mind that,” Jay wiped the remaining tear stains “You’re worth it, so very worth it.” He tucked your hair behind your ear “And you’re right, they’re precious. Like you.”

You rolled your eyes and hid your face in the crook of his neck “You’re so romantic.” Jay planted a small kiss on your head “You like it when I’m romantic.”

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, just melting into each other’s embrace.

You then sniffled and took one ring out of the small box “Doc, would you mind giving me your right hand?” He chuckled and held his hand out for you “Not at all.”

Jay smiled back as he let you place the ring on his finger, his heart instantly warming up when he realised how real this all really is.

He was finally going to be able to say that he was officially engaged, that he was soon going to be married to you. Jay looked down at the ring as you finished and his eyes started to tear up a bit.

"Thanks," his voice barely came out of his throat, but he was still able to softly smile.

You then gave him the small box and held out your hand for him. He gently squeezed your hand “Shall i?" He asked as he motioned towards your finger, wanting to put the other ring on it.

“Please, do.” You whispered, the anticipation killing you.

Jay carefully took out the ring and looked it over for a couple of seconds.

He then slipped the ring on your finger very slowly, making sure that it was fitted well “It fits perfectly.” He commented, kissing your knuckles, barely brushing his lips on them, like a true gentleman.

You sniffled again and let out a euphoric chuckle before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips on his, never wanting to get away from that boy.

The moment you kissed him, his arms tightened around you, not wanting to let go of you ever again.

He had never felt this way before until you came into his life, back in third grade. He had truly felt complete, that he had finally found the person he would spend the rest of his life with. “I want you always," he mumbled softly between the kisses.

“I want you forever,” You murmured back with the same sincerity. He kissed your lips once more, needing to fill his nostrils with your sweet scent, his mouth with the taste of you before he had to move away for five years.

⪩⪨

A couple of years passed and between ups and downs, you and Jay were still strong. Long distance was difficult, you couldn’t lie, but keeping yourself busy with your small café and meeting whenever you two had free time was enough for you. Besides, you could still call with your matching Nokias.

Which was your plan for that afternoon, you sat down on a table at your café and dialled his number, mindlessly playing with the ring on your finger as you waited for him to pick up, hoping it wouldn’t go to voice mails.

One the call reached Jay, he smiled as he recognized your number on screen, picking it up immediately. It had been some time since you both had called each other, so hearing your voice brought a smile to his face before he opened his mouth and greeted you. "Hi, babe.”

“Hey,” You whispered, relief evident in your tone “Am I calling in a bad moment?” You asked, hearing chatterings from the other line.

“No, no, not at all.” He sat down on a bench outside his university building “What are you doing? Just working?”

“Yeah,” You sighed “But business hasn’t been going well nowadays.”

His heart instantly sank as he heard about how business hadn't been well. He wanted to be your support system always, even when he wasn't there physically as much as before. “Oh no… I mean, you're doing your best with it, right?"

“I guess I am.” You replied "No, you are." He quickly corrected you “Do you want me to come over so that we can talk about it? We can work on solutions or at least brainstorm."

You were quick to dismiss “No, don’t do five hours of train just for a small complaint of mine.”

Jay tried to recall in mind his schedules, he had finished lectures for that day, which meant he could come to you and then take the late evening train back to the city “Baby… Don’t tell me not to come over if you need me there.”

"I’m serious, Jay, it's okay," You murmured quietly "I just needed to hear your voice, if you have free time you should use it to rest."

The way that you cared for him made his heart beat fast. "I'll gladly come over," He said softly. "I have time to spare. plus.. if I come over, I can actually hug you and comfort you better than over the phone, can’t I?"

“You already came over three weeks ago.” You stated “I know, but like I said, I’d rather spend time with you than not.”

You dismissed him once again “I’m fine Jay, you don’t have to.”

“Babe, don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not.” Jay pleaded “I don’t think you are, let me come over.”

You stayed silent a few beats “What about uni?” He knew you’d ask “I finished classes for today, I can come over for a few hours and then come back before classes tomorrow.”

You sighed, your voice cracking a little “I could really use one of your hugs.”

“Okay,” Jay breathed out “I’ll be there, wait for me at your café.”

Hating that he couldn’t teleport right to you, he hurried to the train station and waited, knowing you were going through a rough path.

You hardly ever asked for help, and Jay was sure whatever was going on had been haunting you for a while for you to call him in such a state.

After a few hours, the door of your café opened, making the small bell ring. You turned around and started saying “Welcom—“ When you realised it was your boyfriend.

Jay entered the cafe, his eyes instantly searched for you and his face lit up when he found you. It wasn’t hard, you were the only one there.

You were running towards him and he felt his whole heart melting. His arms were wide open and he smiled warmly, taking you into a warm embrace.

Jay immediately pulled you close to his chest, burying his head in your hair and breathing you in.

It had been three weeks since he last was at your side and the scent you had filled his lungs as he finally was this close to you again took him aback by how familiar and comforting it was.

You sobbed quietly, letting out all the tears you’d been holding as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar scent of lavender of his clothes softener.

Your whole body quivering almost uncontrollably, and he knew you were hiding so much sadness behind those tears. “Shhh... shhh.. It'll be okay," He hissed softly, his voice calm and soothing as he kept whispering those same words to you over and over again.

You pulled away slightly, your whole face contorted in a frown “They want— They want to shut it down.”

Your sentence lacked context but he realised that your cafe was probably going to be closed down soon.

He didn't want your business to close, especially when he knew that it was your pride and joy. He pulled you back into his chest again, “It'll be okay. We'll figure something out.”

“It won’t!” You snapped, your voice breaking “It never does…”

Jay’s heart hurt even more as you shouted, your voice sounding so defeated and sad.

He didn't like the harsh reality you were facing and the fact that you would be going through this— Jay was supposed to protect you from the world, but he had neglected you for too long.

“Oh God—“ You blinked faintly, realisation hitting you “I didn’t know why I shouted, I’m sorry.”

The corner of his lips turned upwards briefly. "Hey, don't apologise for showing emotions." He gently dried your tears "It’s just... so frustrating to hear how you're losing something that you care about, that you've put so much effort in and that you're so passionate about."

You let out a bitter chuckle “It always goes this way.” Jay wanted to scold you for always thinking so low of yourself and never fighting, but he was in no position for that.

“I don’t know what to do,” You shook your head to emphasise your words “If it shuts down how will I pay the rent? I won’t have any money.”

Jay could feel you panic and didn’t want that stress and worry to get to you. "We'll figure something out," He said as he gently cupped your face and lifted it up so that you were staring at him. "We'll figure something out. You're not going to be in this alone, I promise."

You shook your head once more, sobbing “I’ll have to move back with my parents— we’ll be even further away.”

The possibility of you moving into your parents' home still made him feel sick. He wanted to keep you close to him and wanted to share a home with you.

He wanted to move in with you, not have you move back to your parents' house.

"Y/N, it's not going to come to that," He muttered softly, kissing your forehead. You sighed and let yourself go, your weight pressing on him “I’m just so tired.”

“Let me take some of that weight off you, baby,” Jay whispered “I’m here.”

You stayed silent a few beats, letting the mere presence of Jay put back the shattered pieces of your soul. “You just had five hours of train and all I did was complain.” You dried your tears with your thumb.

You showed him a faint smile “Sit, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” He nodded and walked to the nearest table, sitting down.

You made him a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite to him, smiling “It's on the house.”

He grinned softly as he took the cup, the smell of the coffee filling him with delight.

It was such a simple thing and yet it meant so much to him, given you made it. "Oh, so even though you're in a rough patch, your hospitality has not gone," he teased playfully before taking a sip.

“Call it boyfriend pass.” You winked at him. You then cleared your throat and fidgeted with the ring “How’s uni?”

Jay took another sip “Just uni, lectures… assignments here and there, many exams.” He trailed off “Just very busy.”

Your brows knitted in guilt “I’m so sorry you had to come here.” Jay took your hand in his, your rings tingling as they touched “You needed me, You needed comfort." He chuckled lightly. "And there's nowhere else I should have been other than here."

You answered with a smile and took your chair, scooting close to him. You put your head on his shoulder “Want me to stroke your hair for a bit?” He asked and you nodded “Please.”

Jay started stroking your hair, sipping the coffee with the other “How do you feel right now? Better?”

You chuckled “Less like a wreck.” A few minutes of silence followed until Jay asked “Are you scared of losing the café?”

"I feel like all the efforts I made weren't enough." You closed your eyes "I should've settled for a more stable job."

"But that would've made you so unhappy, you know?" he spoke softly. "Baby, I feel your enthusiasm every time you talk about your café, don’t regret something that made you happy.”

“What about you?" You raised my head and rested your chin on his shoulder to look at his face "Do you ever get so tired of studying you want to quit?"

"Sometimes," Jay admitted. “There were plenty of all night studying sessions that kept me up and made me question how I got to this point in life." He laughed, nudging your side playfully.

"But I would've never thought of quitting. I know it's going to pay off in the end." You hummed “Of course, You always work so hard.”

"And so do you," He whispered softly, squeezing your hand gently. "Sometimes I don't understand how you work at your cafe for so long and still have energy left to do other things... and sometimes I'm just worried about you overworking."

“You don’t push yourself too much right?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. Your sudden silence made him wonder if you were not telling him something.

“I fainted once.” You confessed. His grip tightened around your hand as he looked down at you, “You fainted? When? Why didn't you tell me about it?"

“Before Christmas break.” You whispered “It was exam season, I didn't want to distract you.”

It was in moments like those that Jay felt like giving everything up. Because why on earth would you think you were being a burden, a distraction to him when you literally fainted?

"No, no... you should have told me, even if I was busy. I would've come to you then." You sat up properly “I didn’t want you to.”

He was speechless for a minute, his mind trying to process what had happened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know? How could you go through it on your own?”

"Jay, Jay," You said, taking his face in my hands. "I'm grand, alright? I'm doing fine."

"I don't like that you hid something so serious from me," Jay muttered softly, his eyes meeting yours. "It's too important to hide from me."

“I know,” You nodded, letting go of his face “And I’m sorry.” Jay nodded at your apology “How did it happen?”

You sighed “I couldn’t afford to keep other workers so I had to run the café alone, I ran around and around and then I had a few other things.” You gulped down, recalling the moment “I went to bed feeling a little dizzy, I paid it no mind but the next morning as I woke up I fell flat on the floor.”

Jay’s whole world shuttered. He looked down to the floor, his jaw tense as he took in your words “You should’ve never ignored those signs, Y/N.” He called you by your name only when he was serious, his low voice sounding a little scary

“How could you—“ Jay took a sigh, trying to calm down “It could’ve been worse, something could have happened while you slept, you could’ve hit your head..” He looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

“Jay..” You murmured “I’m okay now, I know the risks I took, I was incoherent.” You took his hand in yours “It won’t happen again.”

“I should just transfer back here.” He got up from the chair, pacing around the room “I can take the train everyday to the city, I can do that, yeah.”

“No.” You stopped him “Jay, no.”

“Yes,” He turned around, facing you. His breath was heavy “Y/N, you— you could’ve died.”

“I didn’t.” You tried to soothe but even you felt like your efforts were worthless. “That doesn’t change the fact that I almost lost you— and I wasn’t even aware!” Jay looked like a maniac, his hands in his hair and his eyes bloodshot from frustration.

There was a moment where you both just stared into each other’s eyes, no words exchanged. Your eyes were full of regrets for having kept that from him and his were filled with the same emotion for not having taken care of you the way he should’ve.

“Don’t give up now, not for me.” You shook your head, slowly walking closer to him until you touched his forearm with your fingers, letting him know you were there. Breathing.

“You’re worth it.” Jay breathed out the same words he’d been repeating you, looking down at you, studying out features. His glance was so soft it almost hurt “Not this.” You shook your head.

Jay pulled you into a hug, so tight and full of emotions “Just three more years and we’ll be together.” He murmured “Just a little bit longer and we'll be able to share an apartment together. Just you and me."

You smiled on his chest, hugging him back “And we’ll get married.”

His entire face lit up with glee whenever you mentioned the idea of marriage, his finger swirled around the ring on your finger. “And we'll get married," He whispered softly, his eyes still focused on yours. "We'll finally be married and our families will finally stop asking us about our wedding plans," He laughed, the previous tension already forgotten

“Don’t even get started.” You laughed as well

"Yeah, for me it's my mom constantly bothering me with 'so when is it going to happen?'" He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side playfully. "And for you? Is it your dad that's constantly bringing up the topic?"

You smiled and nodded “He’s afraid he’s going to die before he can walk me on the aisle.”

“That’s just a better incentive to wife you up.” Jay held your arms in his hands, gently rubbing them. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but cup his face, bringing your lips to him once more.

Jay’s eyes lit up the moment you kissed him. He let out a soft murmur, his lips responding to your kiss softly.

“I missed you,” You murmured between kisses “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Jay responded, his lips travelling to the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss “Only three years and you’ll be mine forever.”

“I think I’ve always been yours.”

⪩⪨

Another year had passed and New Year’s Eve came. A bummer that Jay could not come back to you those holidays because he had found a job to maintain his studies and was simultaneously studying for an extra course. After the small fight you had at the café (that shut down not long after) you two grew closer, if it was even possible.

Despite the long distance, you felt so connected to him. You dialled his number, feeling as you waited for him to answer.

Your phone beeped a bit before hearing his familiar tone on the other end. "Hey babe," His voice was as bright as ever “Did you miss me?"

“Hi,” You breathed out, sniffling due to the cold temperatures “I don’t miss you at all.” You teased

Jay’s brows furrowed slightly as he heard you sniffle. "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked instantly with concern, ignoring your playful joke and wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm outside!" You explained happily, looking around at all the people inside the main square "Fireworks are nicer if you see them from here."

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. “Good. you gave me a bit of a scare there, babe. Are you enjoying yourself?” As expected, the soon-to-be doctor always worried for nothing.

“No, there are so many couples here," You joked "My boyfriend is so evil he didn’t even come to me."

Jay chuckled softly "Oh yeah? Just wait until I'm there. I'll make all those couples in the whole square jealous." He groaned, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm missing being with my girlfriend when we should be spending the new year together."

"I understand," Yoh reassured, looking up at the huge clock ticking close to the new year, a feeling of both nostalgia and excitement washing through you. "What are you doing now? Don’t tell me you’re studying".

“Well... you guessed it," He admitted softly, “...Studying. I have a final exam for my extra course coming up soon."

“No, Jay.” You said sadly “Not now.” His brows furrowed at your sudden change of tone and he asked “What’s wrong?”

You sighed “Can you drop your pen and walk to the window?”

Jay was caught off guard by the unexpected request. Though he had no reason to resist you, he set his pen and his open study books aside and stood up. He walked to his window.

"Three more minutes before the new year," You murmured "Look at the fireworks with me, the sky is only one so it makes me feel closer to you."

His eyes immediately turned to the outside, looking at the fireworks and the sky that was lit up by so many bright colors. It was breathtaking, and his eyes took it all in as he stood in the window, watching the sky as the time slowly ticked towards the new year.

He could almost imagine you right next to him, both of you watching the beautiful display together. "Yes," He whispered, “I can almost feel you right next to me."

“One more minute!” You squealed happily, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend.

Everyone started laughing and screaming, clapping their hands as the clock struck midnight, the sky lit up with more fireworks “Happy New Year, baby.” You told Jay and he said back the same words.

“Just one year and half until our big plan.” You stated, looking down at your ring.

“Just one year and half…” He repeated, a small smile displayed on his face

“We’ll be alright… Won’t we?” You asked, your voice quiet, barely audible with all the external noise. But Jay still heard you, he always did.

The question you asked was so simple, but it carried a lot of weight to it. "Yeah. We'll be okay, babe." His soft voice assured you of that. "Of course we will. We have always managed to find ways to deal with distance... we'll be fine."

You looked around and saw couples kissing and holding hands, spending that special time together. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you stepped away from the square and back on the way to your apartment "Can you stay on the phone a little longer? Until I get home..."

“Of course baby,” Jay reassured, playing with the necklace he always wore. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need me.”

You started walking, your nose red and cheeks hurting from the cold weather “It’s so cold nowadays.” You commented.

"Hey... you're okay, right? Are you sure you'll be alright making your way home alone? Are you wearing enough layers?” Jay asked softly, his tone of concern obvious.

You chuckled at his words “Don’t act like my mother.”

He laughed along with you. "Sorry... I just— worry too much about you sometimes. you know?”

You nodded though he could not see you. “I know, but I'm grand here.” You hummed “I’m an independent woman.”

“That may be true,” Jay stated, his whole face shining from the light of the fireworks “But your boyfriend here is worried about your health, especially in this cold weather.”

"I’m about to reach home and then i'll take a warm shower and go to sleep," You murmured, placing your free hand in your pocket "You don't study until late night, ok?"

"Well..." His voice was playful "No promises, a man's got to get good grades.” But your tone wasn’t “Please Jay… At least not today.”

“Okay, alright.” He knew you were just worried for him the same way he was for you “I’ll stop studying for tonight.”

“Promise?” You asked, “Promise.” He answered.

“Then, after you take a shower, can you stay on the phone for a while?” Jay’s voice was laced with vulnerability, the long distance taking a ton on him as well.

Your voice softened at his words “Of course baby,” You whispered “I’ll stay with you on the phone.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Jay murmured “Yes?” You said, fiddling with the keys.

“I love you.” You stopped moving for a moment, “I love you more.”

⪩⪨

Years passed by and vows were exchanged, Jay and you now happily lived together.

You still remembered that day when you got him at the train station, feeling all giddy to finally have the life you’ve always dreamt of with the only person you’ve ever loved.

You thought all your vicissitudes were over, that your many many years of patience had finally paid off— but no, because Jay’s traineeship was taking your place yet again.

Despite the fact that your apartment that once looked lifeless was now hosting a couple, it seemed as if it had lost its previous colours with your gloomy demeanour.

Jay spent all his day at the hospital, learning new things and trying to build a good relationship with his superiors.

And it’s not like you weren’t happy for him— No, you were overjoyed… but what about you?

Since you two became a couple, it felt as if you had spent all your life waiting for him, waiting for the life you two had promised to build together, but the only effort came from you. And now that you were married, the crack in your heart started to become a chasm.

Everything went downhill when, one day, you woke up yet again to an empty bed, the wrinkled sheets the only proof they Jay had spent the night there. He came back late and got out in the early morning— an endless circle that maybe he was used to when he was still a student.

But now Jay was your husband and you seeked all the things any wife wished for. Just some quality time would have been enough.

You got up from the bed and held your breath when you heard a noise coming from the living room. Quietly, you tiptoed to the bedroom door, peeking from the glimmer of the half-closed door.

A rather messed up Jay stomped around the house, in search of something. You got out of the door and walked inside the living room “Jay?” You asked

Without even greeting you, he just said “Where’s my spare gown?”

You blinked faintly, your mind still a little empty from sleeping “I don’t know.” Jay let out a deep groan “I told you to wash it the other day.”

“I still need to hang it with the laundry.” You replied, now remembering “You know I need it to work, Y/N.” His voice was low

“The other one?” You asked “Dirty,” He just mumbled, fumbling with some shirts “Hey! I had folded them neatly.”

“Fold them again.” Jay just answered “I need my gown, we have an important meeting today with the head doctors.”

“It’s dirty,” You stated “Just ask one of your colleagues to lend you one.”

“There’s my name on the gown.” He stopped and dropped the clothes on the floor. “I can’t talk to them while wearing someone else’s name.”

“Just cover it.” Jay rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “I’m trying to help you.” You said, noticing his distressed behaviour.

“Well, you’re not.” He tsked, making you open your mouth in disbelief. Jay looked at you, raising a brow “What?”

“What?” You asked back with a frown “You just disrespect me and the work I do in our house and you ask ‘What’?” Your voice was dangerously low.

He gulped, glancing down at the discarded ironed clothes on the floor. He picked them up and placed them on the chair once again “Here.”

You let out a sigh and looked away. “Just take your dirty gown and go to your meeting.” You said harshly.

Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustrated “Listen Y/N— I didn’t mean to be so rude.” You still refused to meet his gaze.

“Please, love. Don’t get mad now.” He walked a step closer to you but you just backed away, making him frown “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” You muttered, your eyes full of hurt now locking with his dark ones. His breath hitched as he took in your pained expression.

“W-Why?” He asked, genuinely confused, “If it’s because of this— I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed.”

“And I am tired.” You stated “I am tired of waking up to an empty bed and going to bed the same way, I am tired of spending all my holidays alone because of your work.”

You let out all the build frustration you had felt through the years “I am tired of waiting for you, Jay, when will all this end?”

Jay raised his hands to caress your arms but you stepped back again, not needing to break down now, but needing to set this straight.

“I know, I’ve been so busy lately.” You scoffed, “You’ve always been busy.”

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, Jay.” Your tone was shaky, “I’ve always supported you, since we were kids and even more after we became a couple. But I feel like I missed the most beautiful years of my life because of you.”

His breath sagged “Don’t say that..”

“But it’s the truth.” You stated “I said more ‘I miss you’s than ‘I love you’s in this relationship.”

“I—“ Jay’s bottom lip wobbled. “I’m sorry..”

You sighed, shaking your head. You then glanced up to the clock “It’s already eight, you’ll be late to your meeting.”

You turned around and were about to walk into the bathroom when Jay’s big and strong hands wrapped around your waist “I love you, Y/N.” He said, almost desperately.

You tried your best not to let your tears fall “I know,” You whispered “But maybe you love your job more.” You shrugged away from his embrace and locked yourself in the bathroom.

Jay tried to open the door but you had already turned the key, he helplessly knocked on it “Y/N, please, let’s talk this out.”

As much as you wanted it, your whole body and mind was drained from the constant feeling of sorrow you said in a quiet voice “Just go away, Jay.”

Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. “Please, come out, let’s talk.” He pleaded

But you just dismissed him once again “I don’t know the things I’d say if we talked now.”

Jay knew he had messed up, really bad this time, and he wanted to make it right. To make it up.

How could he be so obvious to your pain? How could he have not noticed?

You had all the right to be mad at him, in fact, he deserved the slaps you should’ve given him. He deserved your anger, your resentment.

He wasn’t in his right mind that morning— Truth is, he hadn’t been for quite some time.

Traineeship was so exhausting, coming from a whole adulthood of self sacrifice and sabotage, he thought he was the only one suffering. Turned out you were as affected by his actions as him, if not even more.

Jay was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realised he had been typing the same word countless times in the report of the previous meeting. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept drifting back to you.

One of his colleagues noticed his gloomy demeanour and sat on the chair in front of Jay’s desk, tapping his fingers on it “Hey there.” He waved a hand in front of his face.

“Not now, Jake.” Jay groaned, resting his face on his hand, his cheek slightly crushed against his palm “I’m not in the mood.”

“Damn man,” The doctor with the heavy australian accent commented “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”

Jay took a deep sigh, shaking his head “No one, I just am an emeritus douchebag.” Jake raised a playful brow, “Tell me something I don’t know?”

But the death glare he received from the other party made him nod in acknowledgment “Troubles in heaven?”

Jay frowned “How’d you know?” And Jake just smirked in response “You’re so obvious.”

He then leaned his elbows on the desk “Tell me everything.”

Jay tsked “Why should I?” And Jake clicked his tongue back “Dude, believe me, you’ll feel better after you confess your sins.”

“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” The Australian eyed him up and down “Is it not?”

Jay sighed heavily, running a hand on his face “I messed up really bad.”

He nodded, letting Jay know he was listening “Y/N… She’s the best thing that ever happened in my life,” He started “She is my first friend, my first love, my first kiss and time… It has always been her.” He smiled unconsciously.

“But I failed her, I think, I haven’t realised she’s been suffering in silence all these years.” Jay shook his head at himself.

“Does she regret your marriage?” Jay’s eyes widened at such a statement “God, I hope not.” But then he bit his bottom lip “I wouldn’t blame her if she did, though.”

Jake sighed “Listen man, I met Y/N only once or twice, but I see the way she looks at you.”

“How?” Jay asked “As if you were the only one in the whole world, and I mean it.”

“But maybe she doesn’t anymore,” Jay sighed softly “Maybe I lost her for real this time.”

Jake raised a brow, “You love her?” Jay looked at his colleague as if he had just offended him “I’ve always loved her and I always will.”

“Damn right!” Jake smirked, “Now, go tell her.” He shook his head, “I’m on duty.”

Jake sighed and turned the computer screen toward him, he opened a few types and typed on the keyboard and he turned towards him as well and then smiled victoriously “Not anymore.”

Jay glanced at the screen just to see his name had been replaced with Sim Jaeyun on the file with all the rounds “Why?”

Jake got up from the chair and patted his mate’s shoulder “Go get your wife back before it’s really too late.”

⪩⪨

“I’m coming home right now, I’m coming back to you and I’ll make sure you actually stay, both physically and mentally. I’m so sorry for everything baby, and I know this voice mail will probably find you in a desperate state and it breaks me to know I am the cause.” Sigh “I just hope you can forgive me, because I love you, definitely more than my job.”

You replayed Jay’s voice mail countless times, his voice breaking, clearly on the verge of tears. You sat down on the sofa, waiting anxiously for the front door to open, and when it did, you raised to your feet.

Jay rushed inside, almost stumbling as he took off his shoes and gown, discarding both of them on the floor. You both stared at each other, just taking in your presence “Hi.” You breathed out.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Jay’s arms wrapped around your body, your head pressed against his chest “Forgive me, love.” He whispered in your ear.

You pulled away, just enough to look inside his eyes “It’s okay—“ “It’s not.” He cut you out, “Don’t lie baby, not anymore.”

Jay’s deep, brown eyes were so sincere you felt your heart skip a few beats “I’ve been foolish, I didn’t realise your discontent for nine whole years. But I do now, I see all you sacrificed just to be with me. I see you.”

You smiled gently, looking up at him. He didn’t fail to notice the swelling and redness in your eyes “I see you too.” You whispered, placing one hand on his cheek.

“You saw me even before I saw myself.” Jay’s tone was gentle, he leaned on your palm “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.” He repeated the same words he said back during graduation day, the day he promised your hand. “I feel like I crashed your dreams, ruined your life.”

“No,” Your brows knitted “No, Jay, don’t ever say that again.” Sincerity filled your eyes “You are my dream.”

A tear fell down Jay’s eyes, a quiet sniffle escaping him. You brought his head down on your shoulders and gently patted his back “Why are you crying?”

“I thought I lost you again, because of my stupidity.” He shook his head, clinging onto your waist as if you were a lifeline.

You took his hand in yours and brought it on your chest “Do you feel it?” You asked. Jay raised his head and stared at you with teary eyes. He concentrated on the palm on your chest and felt your heart beating fast.

“That’s the effect you have on me.” Jay looked like a lost child at your words “Still?”

“Then, still, always.” You nodded your head, your lips curling into a soft smile “What happened this morning, to both of us, it was the anger speaking.”

Jay gently held your hand and brought it to his lips, his knuckles brushing on your ring finger. “I want to focus on you more, to make up for all those years we’ve lost because of my job.”

“Will you let me?” He asked, his head tilting to the side “Yes.” You breathed out

“I’ll take care of you,” He brought you closer by your hand, your chest flush against each other “I’ll spoil you rotten.” He brushed your hair away, his breath hitting your skin, making you shiver “My dear wife.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, murmuring on his lips “I want to have a baby, Jay.” His brows shot up in surprise “You do?”

“Yes,” You caressed the back of his neck. “I want to be the mother of your children.”

“Damn love,” Jay let out a shaky breath. “You can’t say things like that without bearing the consequences.”

You bit your bottom lip, bringing him down to you “I’m ready to bear them.”

Jay took you in his arms in a swift movement, carrying you over his shoulder and spanking your ass “To the bedroom.”

⪩⪨

“Hey, love.” Jay sat down beside you by the porch of the holiday lake house, placing a mug of iced tea on the table.

“Thank you.” You thanked, taking it in your hand with a groan “I really miss coffee.”

“I know,” He smiled gently, caressing the swelling of your belly “But caffeine isn’t good for the baby, is it?”

“Dad! Can I sail the boat?” Your eldest daughter asked, pointing at the boat near the shore of the lake “Fine, but be careful!” Jay shouted so she could hear and you both watched as she sailed the little box you used to sail as well during high school summer break.

You smiled, recalling the old memory, and Jay did the same, watching your face as if you were the best view of all.

“Do I have something on my face?” You asked, feeling a little self-conscious “Beauty.” He winked at you and you nudged his shoulder playfully.

His eyes fell down on your belly once again, a warm expression displayed on his face “Thank you so much, Y/N.”

You frowned at his sudden thankfulness “For what?”

“For everything,” His voice was full of sincerity “For this baby, for our other daughter, for being by my side.”

“And thank you for loving me.” Jay added, once again kissing your ring finger, this time his lips lingering a little longer on your knuckles.

“Oh, Jay.” You let out a shaky breath “That’s very effortless.”

Your eyes then fell down on the necklace, the same one you gifted him for his fifteenth birthday. Your fingers unconsciously reached for it as you began playing with it “You still wear it?”

“I’ll take it in the grave with me.”

[⪩⪨] END.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! REBLOG (and like) AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!

© I2SUNRIC | DON'T STEAL OR CLAIM AS YOURS.

[ashkabbom]

Nightmares - Mouthwashing

A/n: I finished the draft of this at 3am and finished the English version at 5am😭. I'm not going to lie, I was a little embarrassed while writing this, but I kind of liked how it turned out. Feel free to correct me if I wrote something wrong. English is not my first language and I used the help of translator🎀.

Versión en español en Wattpad: Libro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Cuenta: ashkabbom)

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

Summary/Synopsis: Nightmares keep you awake longer than you want.

Notes: I didn't specify gender and I didn't describe any closer relationship with any character, so you decide the gender and how you see the relationship between them.

→Warning: There is mention of death, blood and suicide here, so be careful or don't read if these are subjects you don't like and doesn't feel comfortable reading, since they are sensitive topics, okay?🫶🏽 Take care of yourself.

Stupid ideas are something common to everyone, right? Well, going after that job, even knowing how strange it seemed for them to accept you so... quickly or easily, that was stupid.

Daisuke and you had been playing Monopoly for a while, maybe 30 minutes. You guessed it was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, the moon on the huge screen letting you know that you were definitely not supposed to be awake right now.

It was those few moments that made you feel like yourself again, less crazy. Being among the stars in space was new, you didn't really expect to be here and it was a little strange not talking to other people.

"You can pay me $250" You mentioned with a cheeky smile and a cocky voice.

Daisuke looks at you confused and then at the board. It was already the fourth time he had landed on a property you had purchased, and that in 15 minutes.

"How do you manage to make this game work in your favor?" He asked indignantly.

"Daisuke Daisuke... You need to expand your mind a lot with the knowledge of a true entrepreneur." You explain with elegance and sincerity.

"I still have a lot to learn then" Daisuke says sighing with a raised eyebrow.

"This is already the second property stolen in this game without you seeing it," Anya says as she watches you and Daisuke playing.

"Hey, I thought we were friends." You look at Anya with fake disappointment.

"I thought WE were friends!" He shouts (whispers loudly) in disbelief. "And before that you two were complaining when we were playing UNO."

"Your cards were only good cards! It was impossible for you to have gotten those cards completely randomly," Anya asks, pointing her finger at him.

"What can I do if luck was on my side?" He shrugs smugly.

"What a coincidence that luck was on your side when you were the one who shuffled the cards, huh?" You point out with a doubtful tone. "Quite a coincidence."

"A twist of fate," he quickly retorts. "By the way, you were the one who brought the UNO deck, who can guarantee that you hadn't already left the deck ready for you to deal the cards?"

"Are we really arguing about UNO this early in the morning?" Anya asks with a slight smile.

"It's for the power of being right and not being accused of false crimes" Daisuke answers simply. "But I think I've had enough of Monopoly, this game takes longer than I remember and is more fun with more than two people, since Anya didn't want to play"

"Of course I'm playing! I'm the bank!" She says, feeling wronged.

"Just handing out the money doesn't count, you're not playing in the game with us" He retorts once more, pointing at her face.

"He's right," you reply as you start to put the game away. "But I swore we had more board games here on the ship."

"And we have, I remember having more than these three at least.." Anya says a little thoughtfully. "It must be in someone's room I think"

The three of you start to put away the games you had brought there together without much fuss, although Daisuke said that one of the Monopoly dice was missing.

You never imagined meeting the two of them during one of your sleepless days. Anya you had met before when you were sleep deprived once, but Daisuke was new, out of all the others you thought he would be the one who would have perhaps the best sleep because he was an intern.

This goes down the drain when he says that sometimes he lies awake thinking only that this time he heard footsteps in the hallway, probably yours, so he went to see who it was and was lucky that it was you and Anya. If it were any of the other three, he didn't know if he would be able to make any conversation flow more smoothly.

That's how you ended up playing some games during the early hours of the morning. Daisuke suggested you guys maybe play something in silence while you talked, coincidentally you had some games.

"Did you imagine yourself working here when you did the job interview?" This time it was Anya who started a conversation.

"I was kind of pushed here, so I was hoping so," Daisuke says, remembering how he got here. "But I didn't really want to be accepted here."

"I didn't even expect to get a job so quickly, I had resigned a week earlier from another job" You say as you plop down on the couch, the two board games on your side with the UNO deck on top.

"And why did you resign?" The boy asks curiously, throwing himself on the couch and stretching.

"My boss was my ex, and he was my ex for a reason, I think that was already a reason for me to rethink whether my workplace was good or at least tolerable." You say it simply. "But obviously there were other reasons, I almost sued the place where I worked, but that's a story for another day."

"And then you came to work in such a cool place like Pony Express, what a great thing" Anya says sarcastically, sitting down next to him.

"I needed a job, water, electricity and food bills are not paid with anything" You sigh sadly. "But I think I'm going to quit when we get back, it's not necessarily rock bottom here but it's not a good thing either."

"I think I'd feel a little better if I knew less about what we were transporting into space." Daisuke complains and rests his head on his hand.

"That's a fair reason, I hadn't thought about that side of things just now.." She stops to think if at any point they had received any information about the thing that you were all transporting.

"Hmmm.. That kind of company must transport food or water, things like that, right?" You assume that it must be based on what little you know.

So you stay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the calm that night..

Now the silence seemed like the worst torture.

If you had known that, I think you would have been better prepared to try to deal with the situation, or... I don't know. You can't even imagine knowing how to deal with this. You just want to go back to that night and make it last a lifetime.

You hugged your friend with all your strength, saying that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to be okay, you were going to go back home, you were going to play together again.

"NO NO NO! God, please tell me this is a lie!" You sob through your tears. "Anya! Please talk to me! Don't say that's true!"

She didn't respond at all, her eyes, now lifeless, staring upward, blood staining her mouth and chin.

You begged her to be a lie and just mess with you, to wink and laugh at how desperate you were and tell her she was fine. Everything seemed so unreal, so weird and heavy.

Crying is the only thing you could do right. You don't even know how long you stood there with her in your arms.

But then you freeze.

You freeze when you notice Daisuke's silence in the other room, you sob and just hear Jimmy say something about letting him think he was going to fix everything.

Carefully letting go of Anya's body you stand up.

That's not true, is it?

As you enter the other room you look to the side and feel like vomiting.

"Daisuke, no no no... Daisuke answer me, please look at me, please please..."

Screaming and crying you go next to Daisuke's body now in silence, running your hand over his face.

Gosh, you didn't even know what to do. On one side was Anya's body and on the other was Daisuke's body.

All you could do was beg any God that could hear you at that moment, beg that all of this was just a terrible dream and that your friends were okay.

They still had so many dreams, you still had so many things to do together. Even if you never left the ship and died here, you would get through this together.

What had you done to deserve this? What had Anya done to deserve a future like this? Daisuke still had so much to live for.

A few minutes pass with you sitting on the floor, now holding Daisuke's body in your arms, running your hands through his hair, saying that tomorrow is another day, that he would talk excitedly to you again..

You remember hearing Swansea yelling to go after Jimmy, but at this point you couldn't tell what you were imagining and what was real.

You lay him down again.

Everything would be sorted out tomorrow.

You walk towards the kitchen in that room.

This is all too much for your head.

You grab something from the kitchen.

Everything was going to be fine

You move automatically, and then blood gushes from your neck, the knife falls and then your body.

Curse this nightmare you lived in.

[daisymbin]

wake up call - kwon soonyoung

warnings: alcohol, let me know if I missed anything

pairings: soonyoung x reader

genre: slight angst, mostly fluff, drunken confessions

wc: 2k

drunken confession masterlist

main masterlist! // soonyoung’s m.list

as the clock strikes 3am, the sound of laughter and music has finally faded from the living room. your small group of your friends have all passed out, some on the floor, others hanging off the couch, leaving just you and soonyoung sitting on the floor right beside the couch in the dim glow of the fairy lights strung around the room. the reminiscent scent of pizza lingers in the air, mixing with the coziness of the room, making everything feel warm and safe.

tonight had started like any other get-together: pizza, drinks, and endless jokes from the boys. soonyoung had been in a rather good mood, his laughter brightening the atmosphere as he cracked jokes and danced around but somewhere between the games, laughter and late-night snacks, soonyoung had hit the bottle harder than usual. now, he sits beside you, a little swaying, with a half-empty cup in his hand, his eyes glossy, a clear sign that this lightweight boy is now…drunk or at the very least, tipsy.

you glance over at him, the way his fingers absentmindedly trace the rim of his cup. you’ve known him long enough to sense when he’s holding something back, and tonight, he feels more vulnerable than usual.

“hey,” you say softly, nudging him gently. “you good, buddy?”

he looks up at you, his boyish smile spreading across his face. “y-yeah! just… enjoying the moment, you know?” he slurs, his words slightly jumbled but filled with an undeniable cheerfulness.

“enjoying the moment? or enjoying the drinks?” you tease lightly, trying to bring back his usual playful spirit that had died down earlier.

“both!” he exclaims, raising his cup like it’s a trophy.

you laugh, feeling warmth flood your chest. it’s nice to see him like this, carefree and happy, but there’s still a part of you that worries. “maybe you should slow down a bit. I don’t want you to regret anything tomorrow when you wake up with a pounding headache.” you say gently.

he shakes his head dismissively. “regret? pshhh, no way! tonight is all about having fun and… and feeling our feelings!” he exclaims, his voice rising slightly as he gestures dramatically.

“feelings?” you echo, raising an eyebrow. “what kind of feelings are we talking about here?”

he leans in closer, his breath smelling faintly of soju, and whispers conspiratorially, “i’ve got some deep feelings.” he admits jokingly as he wiggles his eyebrows, though you could sense the truth in his joke.

you chuckle, feeling the energy shift slightly. “oh really? what kind of deep feelings?”

he pauses for a moment; not expecting you to question him further, his eyes searching yours. “you know… feelings…. like how amazing you are. how funny and beautiful and smart and pretty you are!” his words tumble out, slightly slurred but sincere. “you make me so happy.”

your heart races at his unexpected compliments, but you can’t help but tease him a bit. “is that the soju talking? or do you really mean that?”

he leans back dramatically, clutching his chest as if wounded. “how dare you question my feelings! they’re real! they’re deep!” he shouts, laughter bubbling in your chest.

“okay, okay, I believe you!” you say, giggling. “but really, soonyoung, you should tone it down a notch.”

“no!” he insists, his eyes brightening with mischief. “i want to say more! like… like how i’ve been in love with you for so long!”

the laughter that once bubbled its way up from your chest, now dies in your throat, replaced by a heavy silence as his words sink in. you blink at him, trying to process what he just said. “what?”

“yeah! you heard me!” he says, his voice louder now, filled with both excitement and a hint of panic. “i’ve loved you, y/n! like, since forever! but i was too scared to say it!”

your heart pounds in your chest, the atmosphere thick with the weight of his confession. “soonyoung, are you drunk right now?” you already knew he was, but you asked anyway.

“maybe a little,” he admits with a sheepish grin. “but that doesn’t change anything! i’m tired of hiding it! you’re my best friend, and it’s killing me!”

you swallow hard, your mind racing. you’ve always had feelings for him, too, but hearing him say it out loud especially in this reckless, drunken state leaves you momentarily speechless. “i… i didn’t know you felt that way. why didn’t you tell me?”

“because it’s complicated!” he snaps suddenly, frustration bubbling over. “you have no idea how hard it is to watch you date other people and act like you're fine when you’re not! it’s exhausting!”

“what do you mean, ‘act like im fine’?” you retort, hurt flashing through you. “i’ve been waiting for you to say something! it’s not like i wanted to go out with anyone else! i thought you didn’t care!”

“of course i care!” he shouts, the tension in the room escalating as he stands up, swaying slightly. “but you make it impossible! you’re always so caught up in your own world that you don’t even see how much i’ve been hurting!”

“you think this is easy for me?” you fire back, your heart racing. “i’ve been scared to say anything because i thought you’d never feel the same! i didn’t want to ruin what we had!”

“well, maybe you should have just taken a chance!” he yells, frustration etched on his face. “because now it feels like everything is falling apart, and i can’t keep pretending anymore!”

his words hit hard, and you feel tears prick your eyes. “you’re right! it is falling apart because we never talked about it! we’ve been dancing around each other for too long!”

he looks at you, the fire in his eyes wavering for a moment, replaced by something softer. “i don’t want to lose you, y/n. that’s the truth. i just- i don’t know how to make this work.”

“then let’s figure it out,” you plead, desperate for him to understand. “we can do that, right?”

“and what if we try and it doesn’t work? what if it ruins everything?” he asks, his voice wavering as he runs a hand through his hair.

“i’d rather risk that than keep feeling like this.” you say, your heart aching as you watch him.

he falls silent, his expression a mix of anger and anguish. you can see the conflict raging within him, but he shakes his head, as if trying to clear his thoughts. “i can’t believe this is happening right now,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.

the silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating. finally, after what feels like an eternity, he takes a deep breath and leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. “i don’t know how to do this,” he admits, his voice trembling.

“we’ll figure it out together,” you whisper, your heart aching with the weight of the moment. “we’ve always been a team, right?”

“right,” he replies, but there’s a sadness in his voice that lingers.

then, in a moment of reckless abandon fueled by the alcohol coursing through him, he suddenly pulls back and looks deep into your eyes. “i can’t hold back anymore. i’m in love with you, y/n. drunk or sober, that’s the truth.”

your breath catches in your throat, “you… you-?”

“yeah,” he says, answering your unspoken question. his gaze steady despite the tears in his eyes. “i’ve loved you for so long, but i was scared of ruining our friendship. i thought if i said something, it would push you away.”

you swallow hard, the rush of emotion overwhelming you. “i’ve felt the same way, soonyoung. i just didn’t know how to tell you. i was afraid it would change everything.”

he closes his eyes, as if trying to block out the truth of your words. “i don’t want to lose you,” he whispers again, his voice breaking.

“you won’t lose me,” you promise, tears slipping down your cheeks as you reach out to touch his arm. “i’m not going anywhere.”

he looks torn, his expression a mixture of longing and fear. “i just wish we didn’t have to have this stupid argument.”

“neither do i,” you say, your voice softening. “but maybe this is what we needed. a wake-up call.”

“a wake-up call,” he echoes, his voice shaky. “i just don’t want to ruin everything we’ve built together.”

“you won’t ruin it,” you insist, your heart racing as you draw closer. “we can make it stronger if we both want it.”

“i want it,” he admits, his eyes shining with vulnerability. “i’ve always wanted it.”

“then let’s just…try,” you urge, your heart pounding as you lean in closer. “let’s be brave for once.”

he nods slowly, his breath hitching as he searches your eyes. “can i- can i kiss you?”

you nod, your heart pounding in your chest as he leans in closer. the world outside fades away as he brushes his lips against yours, tentative at first, then deepening as you both lose yourselves in the moment. it feels electric, a rush of warmth flooding through you as you kiss him back, your feelings pouring out into that single moment.

when you finally pull apart, both of you breathless, he searches your eyes as if trying to gauge your reaction. “are you okay?” he asks, his voice shaky.

“yeah, as long as you are.” you say with a small smile.

his face softens as he takes your hand in his. the warmth of his touch sends a thrill through you. “i was so afraid of losing you that I didn’t know how to tell you. but now… i just want to hold on.”

“then let’s promise each other that we’ll be honest, no matter what.”

he nods, determination etched on his face. “i promise.”

just as the tension starts to ease, you hear the door creak open, and jihoon stumbles in. “hey, i thought everyone passed out…. but i heard voices. is everything okay? what’s going on in here?” he asks, his brow furrowing in confusion as he takes in the scene of 2 longing (ex) best friends.

you and soonyoung exchange a quick glance, both of you aware of the moment you’re sharing. “uh, just talking,” you say, your heart racing as you realize how exposed you feel now.

jihoon raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “talking? or finally talking talking?”

you feel soonyoung squeeze your hand reassuringly. “finally talking talking,” he admits, his voice steady despite the embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

jihoon’s eyes widen in surprise. “oh. finally. well in that case…. he grins, clearly pleased but also awkward. “i didn’t mean to interrupt. i’ll just... uh, let you two have your moment.”

“wait, jihoon,” you call, stopping him before he leaves. “you can stay. we’re just…figuring things out.”

soonyoung nods, his face flushed but determined. “yeah, we’re still best friends. just… with more feelings now.”

jihoon chuckles, clearly amused. “this is going to be a lot to unpack. just so you know, I’ve always thought you two were meant to be.”

“really?” you ask, surprised.

“yeah! everyone could see it but you two blind fools,” he says, shaking his head. “but it’s good you finally talked it out.”

you share a look with soonyoung, feeling the weight of your earlier argument dissipate as you laugh together. It’s comforting to know your friends support you both.

“just keep me updated. I want all the juicy details. also, I hope you know, you’re both going to be the main subject of conversation for a while.” jihoon informs with a smirk before he heads back into the kitchen.

once he’s gone, soonyoung speaks up again, “I can’t believe we waited so long, but better late than never,” he shrugs, pulling you in for a hug. “let’s make sure we don’t take too long next time.” you joked back.

[twiishaa]

sanji x reader ; wc 1.4k warnings again i shat this out at 3am and there are parts i’m not too happy with but i think it’s okay as a whole <3 tiny tiny bit of angst if you squint?? fem!reader <3 here’s my masterlist!

it had only been a few weeks since you joined the straw hats’ crew. to leave your home and everything you’ve known behind to pursue a life on the sea, on the run from the world government on a whim was a big decision, but you didn’t regret it. being part of such a lively crew made it worth it, you guys were like a family already.

but they didn’t need to know you did it partly because the blond cook of theirs was kinda…

anyways. that can stay between you and me <3

it was the middle of the night, and you finally sat up after hours of not being able to sleep. maybe it was the humidity on the ship, or maybe it was the small, lingering homesick feeling you had. you drowsily made your way to the deck, the slightly salty wind waking you up a little. now that you were out of your room, it was homesickness that was keeping you awake. you hadn’t felt homesick these past weeks, why were you feeling it now? this had been everything you were dreaming of—adventure, fun, and friends you knew you’d go to the end of the grand line for, even though you’d only known them a quarter of the time they’d known each other.

oh.

was homesickness that feeling you felt sometimes, when everyone was laughing together?

you cast your mind back to the time you’d feel sad at home. your mum would be able to sense your mood from rooms away and bake you blueberry muffins. after eating them, you’d forget about your worries and give your mum a cheery smile, whether covered in blueberry juice and crumbs or not. and so, you made your way to the kitchen, hoping that baking some blueberry muffins now would cure your loneliness, despite the ungodly hour.

hopefully sanji won’t mind... 

remembering the recipe from some corner in the back of your mind was proving to be a much more difficult task than you anticipated, paired with the unfamiliarity of the ship’s kitchen. to be honest, you were having fun! it was like a game, which drawer will the wooden spoon be in? not long after, the batter was complete and distributed into their muffin cases. it was a miracle you found everything; however, that didn’t mask the moderately large mess that had built up over the course of baking the muffins. fond memories of your mum walking through the door to find you covered in flour and your lips stained with blueberry juice flooded back to you; you felt at home again, even if you weren’t physically. not long after you cleaned the counter and put the muffins in the oven, the comforting smell of fresh muffins filled the kitchen, and you took a step back to admire your work. your spirits were definitely lifted. maybe blueberry muffins are the solution to most problems.

meanwhile, in sanji’s room (room??? quarter????? wherever he’s sleeping, please just roll with it), he was awakened by the light scent of… blueberry muffins? he rolled over to check the time. nobody could be possibly be baking something at such a time… maybe he was still dreaming. nonetheless, he groggily got up just to confirm his suspicion—to make sure that no one had broke onto the ship… and decided to bake blueberry muffins… or something.

as sanji approached the kitchen, he noticed the lights were on, and a figure standing right in front of the oven.

oh?

now he was concerned. the figure was… a girl?

what? this is one strange dream… he thought to himself.

when he could finally distinguish that it was, in fact, a girl, and that it was you, of all people, he was just confused. he leaned against the doorframe, observing how you were looking at the oven like you were watching over a child. from this angle, he could make out that you were making blueberry muffins.

“what do we have here, hm? why are you up so late, [name]?”

you screamed in response, then swiftly covered your mouth as you remembered the time.

sanji chuckled. “hello to you too,” his look still conveyed sheer confusion, but he was somewhat enjoying it now.

you could feel the heat rise to your cheeks, both from embarrassment and that your secret crush, of sorts, was talking to you.

the fact that it was the middle of the night as you were baking muffins in his kitchen without asking him was irrelevant. sanji was talking to you!

you laughed nervously. “I just woke up in the middle of the night and I… really wanted blueberry muffins… so I decided to bake some…” he looked at you, evidently quite amused.

“sorry if I messed up your kitchen! or if you don’t like people using it or something.. I should have asked you before…” you trailed off timidly.

sanji laughed again, before moving to lean on the counter beside you. “It’s fine, honestly! besides, I didn’t know you bake, how come you’ve never said anything about it?”

lies.

usually, sanji was very particular with who touches the equipment in the kitchen, but he could let it slide for a pretty girl like you, or so he thought.

what you didn’t know is that your little crush was mutual—sanji had his eye on you,

not in a stalker-ish way, no!

—ever since he saw you when the crew stayed on your island. since then, he gradually started to become less and less flirty as he used to around nami and nico robin, even if you didn’t notice. he really only had eyes for you, following you around the ship as best as he could without looking like a weirdo. it was bad, he was down bad for you. by some power of the gods, you hadn’t noticed yet. everyone had noticed—even zoro, who took the opportunity to tease him every second he got; sanji was so down bad that he didn’t mind being teased about it. he did become aware of your lingering stares from time to time, but for the sake of his sanity, he just pretended he didn’t see anything and looked away, because if your eyes met you would see how flustered he actually was.

“oh, no, I don’t bake often! my mum taught me this recipe and I make it when I feel… lonely , or I don’t know, I think I just missed the taste of them.” you replied. sanji’s expression turned into one of worry. was there something wrong?

“no, no! it’s not you guys, I just… it’s my first time being away for so long, it’s just different to anything ive done before, and I just want comfort in something that I know… I probably make no sense right now..” you quickly added.

sanji shook his head. “no, I get it. doing something different is scary, and I think you’re really brave, [name].” he gave you a reassuring smile.

you blushed a little, but sanji caught sight of it and his eyes widened a little, before laughing. that little interaction was enough to confirm there was something between the two of you, but maybe the middle of the night wasn’t the best time to confront it…

beeeeeep!

the two of you were interrupted by the timer going off, indicating that the muffins were done. by now, the scent of blueberry muffins was overflowing in the kitchen, causing the two of you to laugh. as you went to take them out of the oven, sanji stopped you abruptly.

“let me do it; I wouldn’t want you to get burnt,” he took the gloves from you and took the muffins out, placing them on the counter.

damn. they looked better than you thought they would.

while the muffins were cooling, you and sanji continued your conversation from earlier, but now there was something in the air other than the smell of blueberry muffins. all of sanji’s responses had a warmer tone to them, maybe because he knew that you felt the same way, or maybe because he learnt something about you today that the rest of the crew didn’t know, he was someone special to you. the night passed quickly and soon you could see the sun rising, signalling that it was probably a good time to get at least some sleep before the entire crew awoke.

sanji could feel the effect of the sleep he lost that night and he was visibly tired in the morning, as were you; but he didn’t mind losing sleep over you if it meant one day he could be your boyfriend. <3

notes i love sanji so much <33 this was inspired by when i made blueberry muffins for my mom 😽 should i do a 100 followers event pls lmk and also send in any reqs you want love you !!

[ultralightpoe]

Rule Number One- Jake Seresin

Authors Note: FINE I GIVE IN, I WILL WRITE THIS HOT MAN 

Word Count: 1361

Warnings: Talking about spicy times but no actual spice. Allusions to a bad relationship before 

Enjoy!

The rule had been written on a cheap bar napkin at 3am on a desperate night. You had needed a night off from work and your friends were more than willing to bring you out on their regular Saturday night party.  They had spent most the night congratulating you on finally removing the stick from your ass and you spent the first half accepting any drink they shoved in your hand. 

Anything to forget him. 

This is the night you would meet ‘Hangman’ or as you liked to call him ‘Salty Jake’. 

Your friends were all whispering about him and the group he was with, apparently apart of some flight school called Top Gun, and they were all huge flirts. Your friend Amy waved a red scarf she had warned and began singing the old red flag song you made in high school when he approached but you didn’t care. Because he was absolutely beautiful and he wasn’t HIM. 

He introduced himself as Jake, and you gave him a flirty response with your own. Jake knew how to play the game well, and you couldn’t help the excited heat that traveled your body as every compliment he gave. 

Soon enough it was decided that he would be coming back to your place. “On one condition, Sugar.” He had smiled, pulling you in by your hip and dragging a napkin across the table. “You follow the rule.”

“What’s the rule?” You breathe out, embarrassed by the fact you had definitely soaked through your panties just at his voice.  He chuckled knowingly, taking a pen and scribbling across the napkin before handing it to you. 

You laughed as you read it, muttering no problem before he snatched it back and shoved it in his pocket while he winked at you and dragged you out. 

At the time you honestly thought you could follow the rule, I mean this was just gonna be a one time thing. ‘NO FALLING IN LOVE’

Who would fall in love with a one night stand?

—-----------------------

The one night stand turned out to be the best thing you had ever felt, and apparently you had wasted 6 years on a boy who knew nothing about female pleasure. But Jake did. Jake praised it. 

That one night stand turned into a weekly thing. A game both you enjoyed playing. 

He would always come in with his friends, and you liked to think he immediately spotted you, then you would skirt around each other for a bit. Sometimes you would dance, other times you would sit with your friends and listen to them. But no matter what you would always make your way to him by the end of the night.

He always greeted you with a smug smile and pulled you in, leaning down to nip at your lips and drag you home. 

But then you made a huge mistake.

Somewhere along the way you had broken the rule, that shit rule that was sprawled across that stupid napkin, and you found yourself falling in love with Jake Seresin. 

Your heart beat picked up everytime he smiled at you, and you began wishing you could just kiss him and make eye contact while he fucked you, maybe even made love to you. But you craved his attention and affection, desperate to make him smile and stay close. 

You were so fucking stupid. 

At first you ignored your feelings, but after a couple weeks it came crashing down when he collapsed next to you in a sweaty heap, both of you trying to catch your breath. A small giggle escaped your lips as you stared at your ceiling, drawing his attention immediately as he turns to watch you. 

“What’s so funny? That not good enough?” He teases, leaning to kiss your forehead before sitting up and looking around for his clothes. 

“I was in a serious relationship before this, is all.” You giggle, watching his back tense up as he tries to find his boxers. 

“Why’s that funny?”

“I wasted my life.” You murmur, the giggle slipping as you turn serious. You stare at the ceiling still, too scared to look at him as his hand finds your thigh. 

“Are you dead and I just didn’t know it, Sugar?”

Reigning in a breath, trying to ignore the warmth his touch gave you as you sit up to look at him, making eye contact and reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. Your window was cracked and the breeze was beginning to bite at your sweat clad skin, but you were too focused on the softness of his skin under your fingers.

“Do you ever think about getting serious?” You whisper, a nervous feeling churning in you. “D….Does your heart ever race when your near me or is that just me?”

His jaw tightens and he flinches back from your touch and a wave of panic fills you. “Please tell me you feel this too. Please tell me that you crave my touch as much as I crave yours. That you are feeling just as desperate as I am when you are-” 

He moves away then, snatching his pants and pulling something out of the pocket. It’s crumpled when he throws it on the bed before you and you reach for it slowly as he rushes to get dressed. 

The napkin is old, and the words can barely be read as you unravel it but you know what it is. Your throat tightens and your eyes sting as the tears begin forming, but you don’t say anything as he snatches his shoes and slams your bedroom door closed while he leaves. 

He hadn’t felt the same, then. 

—----------------

“I’m such an idiot.” You whine, watching Amy come through your apartment like a tornado. 

She had shown up 2 weeks into your pity party with pizza and cleaning supplies. “Oh please, it is his loss-”

“You said that with Thomas too.”

“It was definitely Thomas’ loss. He hit you.”

“I’m just saying you only get one valid ‘his loss’ and we used it on Thomas. Let’s be honest, Jake is my loss.” You snap, “I should have just kept my mouth shut.”

“Military men suck.” She sighs, sitting with you on the bed. 

“Men suck.” You agree. 

“Wanna be lovers?”

“No. You are far too pretty for me.”

“SHUT UP!” She cackles, slapping your shoulder before dragging you up with her. “No more of this. Lets go get drunk.”

—------------------------------

“She’s not here.” A voice starts at his shoulder, turning to see Phoenix waving her eyebrows with a smug smile. “You can stop looking.”

“I wasn’t looking for her.” Jake snaps, rubbing the back of his neck as he clutches the bottle in his hand. 

“You look for her everytime we come in here, and then you sulk in the corner like a kicked puppy.” She laughs, walking to the bar. He follows, not having anything else to do since everyone else seemed to be living their lives. 

His heart picks up when he sees a couple of your friends at the bar, hoping to hear your laugh and see you. But his excitement dies down when he realizes you are not there with them. But the fast beat in his chest doesn’t die down and another wave of shame fills him. 

You had been so fucking gorgeous, bearing your heart to him, saying the things he had dreamed of you saying for months. It was like he had he had cracked the wall you built around yourself and not only did you mention the relationship before you had opened the door to him. 

You had opened up. 

He hadn’t even said a word, instead he threw that napkin down on the bed like a coward. The very same napkin he clutched in his hand nearly everyday, desperately begging himself not to fall for you. It hadn’t worked. 

It was terrifying the way you haunted him. You filled his dreams, he often wondered what you were doing while he was stuck flying, wondering what you would wear next time he saw you or what perfume you would choose. 

He was a desperate desperate fool.

[iridescent-solstice]

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ. | ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: {MDNI‼ This fic gets graphic and kinky near the end. I do not want you to interact with this, please respect my wishes or you will be blocked} |

★彡[ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇ ɪꜱ ɪɴꜱᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴍʏ ɪɴᴄʀᴇᴀꜱɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛ ɪɴ ʙᴀᴋɪɴɢ, ᴍᴀɪɴʟʏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇ ʙᴀᴋᴇʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅꜱ. ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪᴅᴇᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ 내복곰 ɴᴇʙᴏᴋɢᴏᴍ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴠʟᴏɢꜱ]彡★

✧･ﾟ☆｡˚🍮⋆ ˚ ☆

You watch silently as the quiet whisking of cream echoes in the silent kitchen. It was close to 3am, yet both you and the Trancy butler were wide awake. One would assume you two were up to some... um inappropriate behaviour. It was quite late after all. But contrary to popular belief, Claude was not always up to nefarious actions. Sometimes, it's the simple day to day activities that would end up gaining his interest. Like crocheting in the garden with a cup of tea long after the master of the manor had gone to bed. Or other times, tending to the garden, maybe even a game of chess against himself...

The clinking of bottles provided the perfect ambience as he mixes various different ingredients in an attempt to rid out the taste of lemon. He's a bit of a perfectionist. So, when he accidentally added a tad bit too much, while chatting with you, he became hell bent on fixing it. Yes, it is almost unnoticeable, the lemony touch, but he refuses to let it go. So, you sit there all quiet and pretty in your knee length nightgown, your legs swinging back and forth as you try not to laugh at his apron. His eyebrows furrowed as he focused, with an intimidating glare in his eyes. Yet you could hardly feel yourself scared when looking at him due to his attire. A small white bandana holding his hair back from his face, makes him look….funny. Not that you’d ever admit it. You swallow a chuckle at his attire. Not wanting to distract him anymore. Pfft, you weren't sure how much more teasing he'd tolerate from you.

For all his indulgence in meaningless human activities, he never once thought he would be sharing these moments with another. To demons, said activities are useless after all. No need for said food, and even if needed, there was no need to craft it himself. Yet he does. Perhaps he even seeks it for his own enjoyment. That would explain his insistence on perfecting his baking techniques... Yes, this late at night, because when special interests arise who's to stop him? Who with the authority to hold him back anyways. But perhaps he yearns for someone to share it with.... That would explain his lack of irritation towards you when he accidentally added a bit too much of an ingredient. Getting carried away when listening to you was quickly becoming one of his worst traits.

However, as you struggle to stifle a yawn as your teary eyes forbid you from staying awake any longer. Vision becoming blurry but just as you were about to cave to your slumber. His voice rings out. "That seems about right. Here, try it." Before your eyes have even opened properly, he's shoving his index and middle finger inside your mouth. The tips of his gloved fingers covered in a small sample of the cream he just prepared. You gag and immediately hold his wrist in weak protest. But his glare quickly stops any intention to push him away. Eyebrows raised as if daring you to stop him. He knows you won't though. "Go on, tell me what you think." Swirling your tongue around to taste the whipping cream about to be used, you watch a small grin creep onto his face. Your eyes roll back to your head with a quiet groan. It actually tasted quite nice. If he could be arsed to, guests would flock to the Trancy manor to taste his pastries.... As you mull over the thought of advertising his cooking to your friends and family, his eyes begin to dart to the newly whipped cream, and then back at you. Low lidded eyes suddenly glowing as he watches you. Perhaps he won't reserve it for the croissant, his mind quickly finding a new better use for his newly prepared assortment. "So? Don't tell me you've forgotten the task at hand already... Well, that's a shame I thought I taught you better."

✧･ﾟ☆｡˚🍮⋆ ˚ ☆

[rc-writes]

𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 | 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢

pairings: benny weir x reader (could be seen as platonic or romantic)

warnings: two curse words??, if you’re reading this as platonic there’s one mention of wearing couples costumes but friends can totally do that to, uhh i think that’s it

a/n: alright i could have probably thought of a million more but it was literally 1am when i wrote this and i was tired lol. also i will admit that was me fulling self projecting on the info dumping about movies part and wanting to text someone at an ungodly hour, but in my defense i do genuinely think benny would do those things as well. also this was requested by an irl friend of mine who mentioned friends to lovers after i finished this so look out for that coming soon! also this is my first writing related thing i’ve posted on this blog in like 2 years!!

will try to learn spells just to impress you

of course there was a few that went wrong

maybe more than a few, but it’s the thought that counts right?

will send every meme or funny video he finds

does not matter if its 3pm or 3am he will send it immediately after he found it

which speaking of 3am i can see him not being able to sleep so he tries texting you

if you answer i can see him texting “hey what’s wrong?? why are u up so late?? everything okay??” and completely ignoring that he too is also awake at this hour

“you are aware you texted me first, why are you up”

“i asked you first”

benny absolutely loves video games and will want to play a few with you even if you don’t like video games

which if you’re with him there a good chance you love them too

but if you don’t you will most likely start liking them even just a bit because he makes them fun

getting to spent time with him and watch him do something he loves makes it special

it also can be really funny

can guarantee at least once he’d say “watch this babe” or “this ones for you” and immediately fail/die

this is also something that definitely happens in the outside world with him trying to throw something away or something

pure of heart, dumb of ass

also i don’t know shit about video games so i cannot go into anymore detail then this lol

is 100% down with spontaneous movie nights whether that be binge watching movies at home or going to the theater

if it’s a movie he’s obsessed with but you’ve never seen he will be trying his hardest not to info dump and potentially spoil the whole thing

but if it’s a movie he knows you have seen he is more than willing to explain every single fact about it he knows

“did you know that while filming this bit they had film it completely in reverse to make it look like that?? insane right!?”

speaking of movies if it’s a horror/scary movie you can bet he will try to act all tough and not scared before it starts

even if you already know how much of a scaredy cat he is he will try to play it off

but the second the first jumpscare happens there will be popcorn flying everywhere

he is no longer allowed to hold the bowl

you’re still finding popcorn in the couch

he will still continue to pretend that he’s not scared despite shaking like a scared chihuahua

you will have to be the one to grab onto him

which then leads to him hiding his face into your neck or behind you

he still refuses to let you turn it off even if you insist it’s okay

there is a part of you that feels bad but also a part that thinks it’s so funny

your contact names in each others phones are han solo and princess leia

the only suggestions i will take on this is that yours is han and his is leia

will take you to every convention within driving distance

if the convention if for some game/show/movie you don’t know be prepared for a whole powerpoint presentation or a weekend of binge watching whatever media it is

“didn’t you just say you hated doing a powerpoint for history??”

“babe this is way more important and interesting than anything school can teach”

you both will be going all out costume wise every convention

i can totally see you guys going in couple costumes or like hero and villain

if the latter you two take turns on who gets to be the villain or hero

if you are with benny there is no way you can be a halloween hater

he can do freaking magic, of course it’s his favorite holiday!!

this also can follow what i said for conventions with the costumes

at some point there is a competition on who can get the most candy

if he loses, he will say that the candy was just too hard to resist, and he had to eat just one piece that turned into him eating many pieces

this is a true fact whether he loses or not

side note if you can go a whole night of trick or treating without eating a single piece of candy while doing so i don’t believe you

[taub-truther]

Pookie

Do you have some taubman headcanons you would like to share with us?

Excellent question! Taubman, that most elusive of ships.

So, as I've mentioned in other posts, I don't necessarily ship Taub with anybody specifically (even though I did sorta talk myself into hate-shipping him and Amber because of their rancid flirtations), but going from canon, I have a few thoughts about what Taub and Foreman would have been like (especially in their roomie stage):

First of all, they absolutely hooked up in the file room when they were both high on Vicodin. That little sparring exchange turned into some chasing turned into some rasslin... and we all know how gay that is (shoutout to my fellow wrestling marks out there). They both used the "i was high" excuse to themselves afterward, but these things have a way of slipping back to the surface.

When they moved in, they clearly had a lot of fun bro-ing around together, watching sports, playing video games, etc. But at the end of the night, it always seemed like an intricate little dance of "who's going to bed first, how close are we sitting, will we end up drifting off on the couch tonight?" etc.

One night Foreman can't sleep, so he joins Taub for 3am Dr Who watching. He enjoys the noise and company and distraction, but unlike Taub, he does NOT enjoy the show itself. It doesn't take long for him to pass out. Taub notices right away, but he just sorta... lets himself drift off right next to Foreman. When they wake up, Taub's head is in Foreman's lap and they don't make eye contact for a couple of days.

I genuinely think they both have to be either drunk or high again for another actual hookup to happen (again, just going off how repressed they can both act in canon, they both seem like comphet bisexual dudes). But when it does, they both react very differently. Foreman is pretty chill about it. Stuff happens sometimes between bros, that's fine. But Taub... he panics. I think that's why he kept bringing Rachel around to the apartment. That couch was the space where he and Foreman experienced a lot of, er, closeness, so what better place to reassert his straightness (not only to Foreman, but to himself) than the very spot those urges from the lockdown resurfaced?

Foreman is, as always, outwardly very unbothered by any of this. He buries his emotions so deep he has himself convinced that he could never be hurt by it. He was only ever doing a favor for a friend, a co-worker. But it's interesting that he gets involved with that woman who is cheating on her husband and prefers for it to remain illicit. Maybe it reminds him of someone?

[tradetobest]

bennguin fic rec list (pt 1?)

in honour of the steers and queers anniversary im making a bennguin fic rec list!! it has 14 fics cuz jamie number :))

i wrangled the fuck out of my bookmarks for this, so enjoy :))

Kelowna: Become Human by LadyJanelly

rating: T words: 8.9k summary: What better way is there for a professional hockey team to make sure their prospects can focus on getting NHL ready, than buying them their very own android?

if you know me, you know i am a GIANTTT fan of detroit become human, so this fic is a dream come true for me. it is literally great too like i love it. tyler prioritizing jamie's orders over his programming... oughh....

Custom, Discreet by inlovewithnight

rating: E words: 12k summary: Tyler accidentally discovers Jamie's kink. He is so very on-board.

LINGERIE FIC!! we love.... we love that its JAMIE in the lingerie.... oughhhh

Must Love Dogs by SpiritsFlame

rating: G words: 12k summary: It doesn't occur to Jamie until he's standing on Tyler's front porch at 3am, barefoot, that maybe he should have called first In which Jamie Benn steals a dog, gets his best friend back, and combats toxic masculinity. In more or less that order.

i love this fic so much. cute ass fucking dog. PHENOMENAL use of the premise.

Featuring Marshall by wutheringjane

rating: G words: 4.1k summary: Tyler's latest video was called "GUESS WHO'S GOING TO DALLAS"

YOUTUBER AUUUUUU!!!!!! oh my god i am OBSESSED w youtube aus. and this ones so fucking cute too. theyre fans of each other your honour

the old brag of my heart (I am, I am, I am) by Mayhem10

rating: G words: 9.9k summary: Sometimes people forget that Jamie Benn exists.

this is part of the condition of existence series, and it's the second one in the series, but the whole series is phenomenal. i replay tyler's discovery moment in my brain over and over (OH YEAH, READ THE FIRST ONE DIRECTLY FROM THIS LINK)

Pitches Love Velocity by bohnem990

rating: T words: 12k summary: There’s no use in talking about money to Tyler, Brownie knows. It’s the reason that Brownie was the one to major in business in college, while Tyler majored in drinking with a minor in marketing. “If you want to drop a grand on one night at a sports event can’t you at least spend it on a real sport?” Several people, Tyler included, gape at him. “Like hockey,” Brownie barrels on, “We could totally go to a hockey game. We’re Canadian, Segs! We’re supposed to eat, sleep, and breathe hockey!” -- Alternately : “Dude,” Brownie laughs, “I think Jamie Benn’s agent just asked you to fuck him.”

THIS FIC. tyler at the restaurant lives rent free. FRAT BOY ASS. i love them so much.

Something Wild by Linsky

pairing: tyler seguin/jamie benn

rating: E words: 3k summary: The girl on Tinder is typing again. why don’t you show me how good you are with a cock Tyler coughs and drops his phone. That’s—wow. He did not expect her to go there.

oh my god. oh my god. tyler is such a dumbass here and i love it. im OBSESSED. 10/10 misunderstanding fic.

something over nothing any day by clawsandsympathy

rating: G words: 1.5k summary: “About this time on Hawkeye in the Morning, we run a little segment called Second Date Update. When someone has a great first date but never make it to the second date, they call us and we try to help them out. Tyler, can you tell us how you met Jamie?”

i think this fic is adorable. the concept is so fuckin cute and i think its executed well w some tropes i really like :))

I Know a Little Chapel by Linsky

rating: M words: 4.5k summary: Tyler Seguin is a very good wedding planner. Which is why he’s not freaking out that Jamie Benn of the Dallas fucking Stars is sitting in his office.

wedding plannerrrrrr auuu!!!!!!!!! tyler planning jordies wedding isnt something i knew i needed but by god did i

sneeze by Anonymous

rating: T words: 5.3k summary: Tyler had never actually heard Jamie purr. It was the strangest goddamn thing.

THIS FIC IS ADORABLE i love the story around why jamie's purrs are Like That. and tyler misunderstanding. ough ITS PERF

let's give them something to talk about by Anonymous

rating: T words: 2.6k summary: ashlee @/messysegsy - Sep 15 why does it feel like everyone got #OneTImerTour tickets except for me??????? @/tylerseguin please explain (5 replies 3 retweets 20 likes)

first part of the rheotaxis series!! i am a big sucker for social media aus, and aus in general, and musician/hockey is a trope i LOVE (shout out to that mceichel fic) so this is the perfect fic for me. unironically perfect.

scar tissue by eternalvariegation

rating: T words: 12k summary: Jamie still remembers when they were practically living out of each other’s pockets, the memory twinging like a muscle he hasn’t used in a long time but that his body hasn’t forgotten. It was probably inevitable that they’d see less of each other once Jamie formally requested that they no longer go into the field together but it still hits him sometimes. The tangible feeling of loss despite it having been his own decision in the end. Tyler didn’t speak to him for a month after he found out. 

SPY AU oh my gosh. "partner doing what he thinks is best for other partner. it is not best" is such an insane trope and i love it so much in this fic. done incredibly well. please read this.

Arms of the Sea by LadyJanelly

rating: T words: 3.7k summary: Jamie gives her back to the sea when she dies, three years into their marriage, their baby still inside her. He sews her up in sailcloth with the porridge pot she brought from her mother’s house, a stone from their shared hearth, scaling knife, thimble and needle. He sails out to the deep water and lowers her into the water, weeps as she sinks into the ocean’s embrace. He sails back to land and gives his boat to his brother. He will not return to the ocean. It is a graveyard to him now. He finds a job in a logging camp, and for a year his feet are dry, his lips do not taste of salt.

incredibly emotional and beautiful fic. op wonders whether their execution of the concept is dull and pretentious in the opening notes and i think that is the worst part of this fic, only because it does such a disservice to it. RAHH i love it

wandering bee seeks the rose by clachnaben

rating: E words: 8.7k summary: Jamie Benn coaches a youth hockey team and Tyler is a determined Hockey Mom. Meet cutes and queer women and youth hockey

yk i had to shout out the lesbians to round it out. sexy hockey mom tyler lives in my head rent free and i dont even like women.

[patsothercorner]

Try Again

TW: mature themes. do not read if you can't handle it. based on true real events.

I was 3. During an eye appointment, when I said I couldn't see the letters on the giant glowing screen. The doctor looked at me.

Try again.

I was 4. The dresser had fallen, me taking the brunt of it. I'm trapped, under the bed, where I attempted to seek shelter. I'm stuck. I can't get out.

Try again.

I was 6. After an hour of attempting to tie my shoe, my father glared at me.

Try again.

I was 8. Tears in my eyes as I get tackled to the concrete by a middle schooler. I told him I couldn't get up. He looked at me, outstretching his hand for me to take.

Try again.

I was 9. I walk down the stairs, and watch as my father presses his knee into my mother's neck. I listen to my mom call his mom. Saying she's gonna leave next time, but that for now, she'll do what she's been doing.

Try again.

I was 10. My father showed me how to mow the lawn. I miss the line, again and again. My dad rolls his eyes.

Try again.

I was 11. Locked in my home, while people outside suffered. The virus taking over every source of entertainment I had access too. I ask my sister to play a game. She says no.

Try again.

I was 11. I sit in my room and stare at the walls. Walls that were once clear, now have marks of my agony and suffering. I pick up the blade and swipe it across my skin. Nothing happens.

Try again.

I was 12. It's late. Maybe 3am. I open the medicine and scan for the ones I'd think would do the most damage. I take 4. Nothing happens.

Try again.

I was 12. Tears fall down my face as I stare at the pills once more, this time, they've multiplied. 16. I take them all. Something happens. I start to think. About my life. About all the things I have to live for. It isn't much. Still, I stick my fingers down my throat, and gag. Nothing happens.

Try again.

I was 12. Third time wasn't the charm. Neither was the fourth. Or the fifth. Maybe it's not my time. I think that's what my mom thinks when she looks at my arms. She asks if I want help. I look at her.

Try again.

I was 13. The blade was buried under dust, left untouched. Tears fall down my face as my therapist tells me that my father has good reason to beat me. She tells me kids have the tendency to be dramatic. I look at my shelf, where my worst enemy had found home.

I was 13. I stare at my sister as my father threatened to shoot my cousin. I watch as the boy who made our life hell for two years, sits there, and faces the man I've faced many times before. He's scared. He picks up his shoes and leaves. I don't miss the way my father smiles at me. Saying the same words.

Try again.

I was 13. The music volume isn't enough. They're yelling again. Fighting. You'd think they'd be tired of it, the arguing. But everytime, it's the same thing.

Try again.

I was 14. Getting home from a fun day at the fair with friends. The house is quiet, the silence as stark contrast from my pretty cousins running around. Young, one still a toddler, one starting 5th grade. My sister and I sit on the bed as my father stands in front of us. They're divorcing. They'll figure out the details later, but for the night, he's leaving. He does. My mom sits us down on the couch. He'd choked her. The kids were awake. Nobody knows what they'd heard. She wasn't going to assume they'd heard nothing. She'd ask when they were awake. Until then, we do what we keep doing.

Try again.

I was 14. We hadn't moved out yet. School had started. I wasn't enrolled. They hadn't accepted me. My mom suggests we move to the same district.

Try again.

I was 14. We'd moved out. I'm a week behind. I don't know anyone. Making friends is hard.

Try again.

I was 14. I made a couple friends. They're not great. It's okay. Better than being alone. I look at the walls of my bedroom. White. I can't bring myself to put anything on them. They're better white anyway. I've looked through the boxes. I've found the blade.

Try again.

I was 14. My mom stared at my arms once more. Not as bad as last time. An isolated incident. She asks if I want help.

Try again.

I was 14. New lady. She's nice. I like her.

Try again.

I was 15. I sit in my room, staring at the white walls, bottle in hand. I hadn't opened it. I stopped this problem a while ago. I look at the bottle. I open it. What's the harm?

Try again.

I was 15. I don't know how much I'd drank, maybe a shot or two. I open the medicine cabinet. Do I do it?

Try again.

I was 15. Tears fall as I listen to my dad's voice through the phone, muffled by my mom's ear. She's not crying, but I can tell she wants to.

Try again.

I was 15. They're going to therapy. We're going out to dinners again. He's coming over again. We're going over again. They're getting back together.

Try again.

I was 15. I'd tried again. A couple times. Every time, it'd failed. So I gave up. Maybe living is for me. Maybe I should be like my mom.

Try again.

I was 15. Living's not so bad. It's hard. But maybe it gets better. Maybe it's worth it. Maybe, instead of giving up, I should do what everyone else is doing.

Maybe I should try again.

Maybe trying again is hard, sure, especially when that's all I've been doing. But I guess when you do something long enough, you start to get the hang of it.

It's easy to say it. Try again. But doing... one of the hardest things we'll ever do as humans. I'm only 15. I shouldn't know the things I know. I shouldn't have gone through what I have.

I'm more mature than my sister, even though she's older. I've shielded her. She doesn't deserve to think the way I do, to realize the things I do. She doesn't like that I've done that. But it's hard to just stop when I've been doing it for years.

I've tried again. I haven't picked up the blade in months.

I'm trying again.

I stopped drinking. Addiction runs in my family.

I'm trying again.

I still talk to my therapist. She's helped a lot.

I'm trying again.

I've made great friends. Real friends.

Trying again.

I haven't tried to stop trying in almost 6 months. Fighting for me.

It's okay to fall. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. It's okay to not be okay.

It's not okay to not try again.

From me to you, do whatever you want. I can't make these decisions for you. But I can tell you this.

Try. Again.

[crowroboros]

!!! Opinions on: chase.

There is a very solid chance that Chase is my favorite character not just in Echo VN, but in any Echo Project work. He might just be. I just think that he is such a boyfailure in all the best ways. He's such a sopping wet man and he captivates me. I've written and rewritten this so many times because it is so hard for me to even explain why (it's also 3am at the time of me writing this. I'll put it in queue when I'm done)

I think back to how characters in-universe (Chase included) say that he's dull or lacks personality, and I've seen people in the fanbase say that too. And I don't know if I agree with that. Though I do think that his personality is subdued thanks to the presence of the Samulation. He's kind of awkward, easy going, a bit of a pushover, and somewhat friendly. He really is a normal guy. His communication skills are non-existent, especially when he was younger, but he does grow over the course of the VN in most routes. And he seems at least somewhat introspective. A lot of his inner monologue is him reflecting on and being ashamed of his past actions.

Let's talk about those actions. Sydney oh boy oh god. I think a lot of people focus on Chase drowning Sydney but don't look at their relationship leading up to that. It's fucking sad all around. Sydney is said to have considered Chase a close friend, which really just....ow, you know? From all the interactions between Chase and Sydney we see in flashbacks, and from Chase's own words toward the end of Flynn's route, I really don't think Chase liked Sydney but I also don't think he hated him either. I see Chase's thoughts about Sydney and I see a kid going way too far with his efforts trying to protect a friend.

Chase said himself that he was a fucking asshole as a child and I believe him fully. He spread around the rumor that Sydney killed his father, manipulated Carl's fear of ghosts to get what he wants, drowned Sydney, etc. But in the ~12 years since Sydney died he really has grown as a person and I think that's part of what makes Chase so captivating to me and why I like him so much. He did several fucked up things. He was a dick when he was younger and in his teenage years. And to see him during the events of the main game, it's kind of remarkable. Even with that change though, he says himself that he fully believes that Sydney was a danger to TJ and to others and that he's glad he's dead. Yet he still feels a lot of guilt for killing him and has repressed those memories enough to where it is debatable that he even remembers that he did it in the routes where it isn't directly brought up. I find his complexity so intriguing especially when layered with the fact that ever since Sydney died, Chase has been possessed and influenced by the Samulation.

This is hard to write haha. Chase has so much going on that it's just so difficult to get my thoughts in working order to talk about him. Uh to put it simply: I'm a massive Chase fan. I really like this otter. He's so interesting in every way, from his thought-process, to this past, to the little tendencies he has. Fucking love this guy. Maybe I'll make a series of posts talking about different aspects of Chase from his relationships with other characters, to the things he does and the decisions he makes cause there is just SO MUCH to talk about with this otter.

[meowzfordayz]

when you stay up late — tanjirou, kyojuro

Author’s Note: … sooo, who else is a night owl? 😅

when you stay up late — tanjirou, kyojuro

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: none

Emergency Request Fulfilled: I think I’ve been exhausting my body a little tooo much, so parts of my arm and leg are beginning to hurt. I’ve also like, not been sleeping on time lately.. (cough 2am) 😭

So maybe (if you can) do a Drabble (or anything really) in which Tanjiro helps reader get some sleep on time? Maybe even help in keeping reader from exhausting her body so much?

Suggestion Fulfilled: How would Kyo react to finding his s/o up at an inhuman time late at night? What if she is playing videogames and stuffing her face with snacks or something? "my love, it's 2 in the morning!" "yes but this game is so good and I need answers!!" 😂 (def not what I've been doing)

AND AN EVEN BETTER ADDITION, what if he ends up sitting down next to her to stuff his face whilst watching the screen intently because, indeed, the game is very good and interesting and now HE needs answers? 😂😂😂

~faqs~

Has a couple tried and true methods for helping you sleep ~early

Or at least, sleep at all if he falls asleep first, and then wakes up hrs later to you still awake 😅

Tells you stories

They’re always made up, and always ~nonsensical, but the simple act of murmuring softly beside you till your eyes begin drooping is what matters most 🥺

For example:

“Once upon a time, there was a bottle of hot sauce. His name was Frank.” 🔥

“Tan, shouldn’t his name be RedHot, and his dad is Frank? Y’know, Frank’s RedHot?” 🧐

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not logicafying my story.” ☹️

“Hmpf.”

 “Anyway, Frank’s best friend was an apple named Macintosh. 🍎 They went on many adventures together, from apple picking to hot wings sampling events. Their favorite festival was the applesauce and hot sauce festival where vendors from all over the land gathered to provide three days of sauces and fun.”

~at this point, you’ve fallen asleep~

Tanjirou doesn’t always know whether to feel proud or offended that you fall asleep so quickly

Like, is he that calming and soothing? 🥰

Orrr bOrInG?! 😭

Takes you on late night walks

Hear me out

Is going for a walk @ 2am a lil counterintuitive for going to sleep?

Yeeeah

BUT

If you’re already awake, and lying in bed isn’t helping, then a cute, moonlit walk couldn’t hurt any more 🌙

“You want to get up now?” you yawn, fixing an amused stare at Tanjirou’s bedhead

“Why not?” 😁

And altho you could technically think of plenty of this-is-why-not reasons, you shrug instead

“Okay!”

Within a block, you’re clinging to his arm, body feeling heavy and content 😴

And within two blocks, you’re whining cutely into his shoulder, “Taaanjiiirooouuu, m’sleeeeepy.” 🥱

11/10 you’re getting a piggyback ride home 🤗

More often than not, Kyojuro ends up getting roped into whatever’s keeping you up 🥴

Suffering through hw?

He’ll get his own notebook, snacks, and water (to share, ofc), and keep you company 🤓

“My love,” he whispers—after ~30 secs—stricken faced

“Hm, Kyo?” you hardly spare him a glance, trying (and failing) to make sense of your lecture notes

“I realize now why you are still studying at 3am. This is incomprehensible!” 😖

Nonetheless, he persists along w/ you, doing his best to hide his yawns, and insisting on 1 min cuddle breaks whenever you have an epiphany aka finally understand something

By the last cuddle break, you’re falling asleep in his arms, and he doesn’t do a thing to stop you 😌

(spiritually, he fell asleep hrs ago 😃)

Fixated on a video game?

Kyojuro trusts you when you tell him, “No worries babe, go to sleep, I’ll join you in a bit!” ☺️

He shouldn’t have 💀

Unless “a bit” always meant “sometime after 2am” 🤡

“Darling,” he rasps, blearily eyeing your focused position in front of your computer (that you haven’t moved from since he was last awake), “What time is it?” 😵‍💫

“Time to destroy this BOSS,” you exclaim, not missing a beat, nor shaken by his sudden consciousness 😎

“Do you think you have enough snacks?” he asks wryly, surroundings slowly but surely registering 🥨🧀🍫🍿🍪

“Nope,” you grin, “But you can still have some.”

“Why did the screen go black?” 🤨

“Because I died,” you huff, “You really ought to know these things.”

“And become a gremlin like you?” he chuckles, blankets tossed aside as he shuffles himself out of bed

“A WINNER, Kyo, I’m going to be a WINNER.” 😤

“Sure, especially when I have seen that black screen at least three times in the five minutes that I have been awake.” 😉

“Y’KNOW WHAT,” you shriek indignantly, pointing a playful finger at him, “Sit and watch, this game isn’t easy.” 😒

“Is it multiplayer?” 🫢

“No.” 😐

(yes, but no hell in way are you letting him join and show you up now — at least, not tonight)

“I can eat your snacks?” 😋

“As long as you promise to fetch more when they run out.”

And that’s how you and Kyo end up pulling an all nighter, eyes bloodshot, stomachs full, and very hydrated (bc water is apparently a snack too)

P.S. You eventually allow him to play w/ you (after you beat the game yourself)

P.P.S. Watching him struggle brings you immense satisfaction 🤠

P.P.P.S. “Kyo, you might break your record of deaths in a minute.” “Oh hush, I am just warming up!” ❤️‍🔥

[softxsuki]

i wanted to know for the urgent request if it could be for the obey me! boys, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, and barbatos when reader has been really down and depressed and even told them they thought about committing so they comfort them for it? i haven't gotten any comforting recently and i love your writing so i was hoping you could do this :( <3

Obey Me Boys Comforting Reader With Depression

TW: PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM, AND THOUGHTS OF SUC*DE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE RATHER THAN COMFORT YOU. THANKS

Pairing: Mammon x Gn!Reader, Levi(OM) x Gn!reader, Satan x Gn!reader, Asmo x Gn!Reader, Barbatos x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self-harming and old/new scars, depression, and mentions of reader wanting/thinking of taking their own life

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which the boys find out that MC is feeling depressed and thought of taking their own life, and that they also self-harm, so they provide MC with comfort in their own way :)

[A/N: Kya!!! Thank you so much for trusting me with your urgent request! I hope I did an okay job with it. It's been a little while since I last played Obey me, so I cam very much behind with it (and I'm stuck on the regular game bc I can't level up mu cards fast enough. rip) but I really hope this brings you some kind of comfort. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to if if you just need someone to listen to you. Feel better soon <333]

Mammon:

Mammon notices the sudden change in your mood straight away since he’s always around you

He does his best to try and cheer you up without directly confronting you about it

So he’d invite you out with him and might even spoil you with pretty things in hopes that using his money on you helps distract you from whatever you’re feeling

But that all changes when he sees your self-harm scars

Fear fills him and he knows he can’t just avoid the topic anymore, he doesn’t want to see you in pain or have you harm yourself anymore

So one day when you’re out with him in town, he softly takes your hand and leads you to a bench away from the hustle and bustle of the town

He’s a little cautious, he’s not really good with being direct about his feelings, especially not with you because he gets so nervous and this was serious…he was scared to mess up

“Y’know MC…I may not be the best person to go to about troubling things in your life, but I want ya to know that I’m here for you. I…don’t want to lose you. Actually, I can’t lose you–never. So maybe things are hard for ya right now, but you’re one of the most important people in my life. Your problems are The Great Mammon’s problems as well, so let me in, won’t ya?”

He’s awkwardly rubbing his neck now as he feels his face heating up, but at least he got everything he wanted to say out

So when you do open up to him about your depression, self-harm, and thoughts of taking your own life, he feels relieved that you are finally speaking about it with someone, but he’s also scared that you’ve been feeling that way and he had been trying to ignore it for so long

He’s scared to let you out of his sight after that, so if he shows up to your room at 3am with a spare pillow, you know why

Mammon’s always inviting you to his room as well so you can watch stuff together until you fall asleep

Extra clingy Mammon who’ll probably bug you about how you’re feelings every few minutes, but at least you know someone cares

You’d find all your issues slowly dissolving as he covers you with love and attention, just don’t block him out

Leviathan:

Oh boy, Levi is very overdramatic when he finds out what’s been going on with you

He’s beyond scared to lose you–you’re his only best friend after all, the one who truly understands him and cares for him unconditionally

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t realize MC. I’m such a good-for-nothing. I can’t even tell when the person I care about the most is going through a tough time. Y-you’re amazing MC! You’re one of the best people I know, unlike all these other normies out there. You’re always so kind to me and I just hate that I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me…”

Yeah, he’s definitely beating himself up about it because how could he not realize???

“You’re always here for me, that’s why you’re the only one I felt comfortable telling this to. Please don’t blame yourself…I kinda didn’t want anyone to know at first; I thought I could deal with it on my own…” You’d explain to him

He’s a little relieved to hear it, but it still won’t make him feel any better

Levi is always throwing himself in the ground, so not being there for you at a time when you really needed him AND when he could have potentially lost you, scares him to death

Like Mammon, he keeps you by his side, but in your room since he sleeps in his tub and that’s not very comfortable for you LOL

He’d move all his games and game stations into your room and make a little base there to stay by your side until you’re feeling better

He probably goes to one of his older brothers who are more responsible like Lucifer or Satan and asks for their advice (without giving you away ofc. He’d make it sound like one of his online friends are dealing with this issue since you only trusted him with this info)

He’s very awkward and shy at times, but he’s glad that you trusted him to let him in on the pain you were feeling internally. He makes it his mission (literally, like he’s playing a game, but knowing that it’s far more serious) to get you back on your feet and in a better mental state

And we all know Levi is good at games, so this is one he won’t fail either :)

Satan:

Satan reads a lot, books of all genres, so he picked up on your sudden change in behavior very quickly and he’s actually the one who goes to you first to talk about it

“What’s going on?” He bluntly asks one day when you’re in his room reading with him in a peaceful silence

That catches you off guard…did he know? You could see the serious look on his face so you decide to just open up to him about everything; the depression, the self-harm, and even the thoughts that flash through your mind of taking your own life

Satan listens silently as you speak, taking in all your words and you see his eyes soften the more you reveal to him

“I see…” he’s lost in thought for a moment, but then stands up and walks over to you, taking your hands in his as he leaves a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. “I knew something was up, but I wanted to hear it from you before I assumed too much. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I’m here though, and now that I know what’s going on, I’ll do anything and everything I can to ensure you feel better.”

And he really will

Whenever you come over to his room to do your daily reading together in each others presence, he spends his time reading books on mental health that give him plenty of advice on how to best help you

He isn’t overbearing though, he gives you your space and allows you to reach out to him whenever you need him, only checking up on you when it seems appropriate so you don’t feel suffocated, but deep down he is worried and scared to lose you

So he offers you his own help, but also asks if you’d like to go to the human world to see or speak to a professional who might be more helpful to you than he could be

He even volunteers to go along with you if you don’t want to go alone–he just wants you to be happy again to not feel so claustrophobic in your own skin

Whatever you decide to do, just know that you have his 10000000% support

Asmodeus:

This man is very dramatic as well, but in a different way than Levi…

He throws tons of compliments your way in hopes that they help lift you up, but really, he’s better at giving physical acts of care

SO, your self-harm scars? He goes out of his way to wash them up and lotion them up, pressing small kisses the the older scars and newer ones as well

“Even with these marks, your skin is still as soft and beautiful as ever, darling. My lovely MC, I’ll do everything I can to take care of you from now on. I’ll pamper you everyday and remind you how much you mean to me, so please don’t harm yourself any longer…”

Asmo isn’t one to be very serious at times, but he knows now isn’t the time to joke around with you, so he’s uncharacteristically very serious, yet still as charming as ever

He’ll treat you to extra tight hugs and kisses, a little scared to let go in fear that he’d never be able to hold you again, so bear with him a little…he can be a bit suffocating

He isn’t the best listener or remarkably great at giving advice that doesn’t have anything to do with fashion or beauty, so he’d probably go to Lucifer for help, or maybe even Solomon, who’s more familiar with human emotions like depression

Anything you need or want, Asmo will get it for you

Get ready to feel more loved than you’ve ever felt before in your life

Barbatos:

He knows…of course he knows, Barbatos knows everything 😀

The first time you attempted to self-harm, he was there to stop you, so you never even got the chance

What he didn’t know about though was your thoughts of attempting to take your life, since you never actually made the move to do it, you only really thought about it

So when he sits down with you to hear you out about attempting to self-harm and you open up about your other darker secrets as well, he’s shocked

Momentarily, it’ll show on his face, but he’ll catch himself and gently smile to you as you continue to speak your mind

He doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by any of this or to beat yourself up for getting caught or for feeling what you feel–you were human and humans experienced moments of intense emotions that they can’t control sometimes, he understood this very well

“Oh dear MC, I am relieved that I was able to stop you this time. Though, I must admit I do feel particularly regretful that I am not able to read minds so I could put your own mind to rest from your dark thoughts. Now that I am aware of everything, I shall do my best to assist you in recovering mentally”

He’s not the most emotional guy out there, but you know he cares for you and when Barbatos dedicates his time and attention to something, he WILL get it done

Barbatos takes your hand in his and presses a delicate kiss onto each of your fingers, and leans his head onto the back of your hand, in almost a way that he’s ready and willing to serve you (not that he didn’t already, but it’s more of like his own way of physically showing his dedication to you??? Does that make sense? KINDA like when a knight is knighted and vows to protect whoever he’s assigned to??? Am I making sense? hopefully…)

He doesn’t need to keep an eye on you because he’d be able to stop you anyway if you ever decided to do anything drastic, but he does free up time in his busy schedule to be with you, he’s dedicated to serving Diavolo, but you very quickly become his number one priority (you already were, but he was never aware of it himself lol)

I don’t know, but I just feel like Barbatos is such a soothing person to be with, his voice is like silk, it wraps you up like a warm blanket and feels like a big tight hug when you need it the most

SO I imagine you’d feel better pretty quickly with all the attention he’s giving you, and the warm tea he makes you????! You’re set for life, get ready to feel brand new

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 7/11/2023

[luvhynjinnnn]

songs of you ✰

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you"

synopsis. songs that remind me of different stray kids members genre. fluff, hurt/angst, comfort, allusions to sex pairings : hyung line skz! x fem!reader these are just drabbles that popped into my head while I was listening to music so they probably aren't the best lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bang chan - "playing games - summer walker & bryson tiller"

you and chan had been dating for about three years. people think that life with a k-pop idol was all glamour and unicorns and rainbows. and dating chan was. until it wasn't. now, he was rarely home. he was always either on tour, or at the studio, or at the gym, or the dorms overworking himself. and he never sent you so much as a text to tell you he was staying over. he'd rather simply let you stay up until 3am waiting.

and god knows that the two of you had this conversation so many times. and every time it ended with him apologizing. saying he won't do it again. until he did it again. and again. and again. that's how the two of you ended up here. in this argument. he'd came home while you were laying down, mindlessly scrolling through social media in an attempt to forget about the ruins of your relationship. walking into your shared bedroom, he began talking about something. some promotions or something. truth be told, you weren't listening. maybe he noticed that. maybe that's how you ended up here. in this exact spot.

you were now sitting on the side of the bed, with him standing in front of you between your thighs. "you act like I'm asking you to drop everything and run off with me!" you shout, your voice shaky as tears threatened to spill over, "did I ever ask you to take me to go shopping in Paris? or go sailing overseas and just drape me in Gucci? I don't think so!" the tears teetering over the edge of your eyes had finally fallen and you quickly dropped your head, now looking at your feet, as you refused to let him see you cry. "all I've ever asked was for you to pick up your phone when you're alone. all I've ever asked was for you to show me some love. you don't show me off to the boys and you never come home anymore." your voice had finally returned to it's normal state as you sucked in a breath. the two of you stayed there, for what felt like an eternity. when he didn't say a word, you looked up and met his gaze.

tears rolled down his face but he didn't move. not one sniffle or whimper left him. he simply stood there. you finally stood and placed both of your hands on either side of his cheeks, using your thumbs to slowly wipe away the tears. "chan.." you whisper before he cuts you off.

"don't do this. don't break up with me. you're my world. my universe. you're everything I've ever needed in this lifetime. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I'm sorry. I know I've said that before but.. but I truly am. I love you so much. I love you in a way that it hurts." he says, tears still rolling down his cheeks and splashing onto your thumbs. his bottom lip quivered slightly. your heart broke at the sight; although you'd had this conversation before, he'd never given you this reaction.

"chan. I'm not breaking up with you. I'm.. I'm just tired." you sigh. "I'm tired of not feeling like a priority for you. I love you too. more than anything. and you know I'm so incredibly proud of you and your accomplishments. I'm just sick of feeling this way."

"I'll make a better effort. I'm sorry I made you feel this way. and I'm even more sorry that you felt like you couldn't talk to me." he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

you lean into him, pressing a kiss to his lips before whispering, "me too"

lee know - "don't - bryson tiller"

minho had been your best friend for god knows how long. honestly, you couldn't remember a point in your life where he wasn't your best friend. or when you weren’t in love with him. he'd always been a shoulder for you to cry on, arms to snuggled under, a body to curl into while you slept. he was just always there.

today had been no different. today, you'd been complaining to minho about how your boyfriend of four years had been acting different lately. today, you sat on your best friend's couch in his apartment and cried. now, you felt as though you had no tears left to cry. you felt as though you still needed to cry yet you lacked the fluids to force the tears to fall.

your best friend walked into the living room with two coffee mugs in hand. he slipped you one before the couch dipped and he sat down on your right. you took a sip before your face immediately twisted up and your tongue stuck out involuntarily. "what the fuck is this, Minho?" your head turned to face him as you placed the cup down in your lap.

"coffee." he shrugged, "and vodka". he sipped the concoction before placing it onto the coffee table in front of him. cautiously taking another sip, you leaned into him and placed your head on his chest. you felt his entire body tense but he simply sat there. "wrap your arms around me, I'm grieving." you whine.

his heart tugs at the sound of your voice. "but I don't wanna”, he whines as well. you huff and take another sip of the hazardous waste and lean into his chest. “i miss him” you say, barely above a whisper but you knew minho heard you.

he tsks, “why? you’re so stupid, you miss a guy who’s not treating you right. he’s not worth your time anyway” minho wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, you knew that. but you couldn’t help but tear up at his words. not because he was being mean, because he was right. “i know. maybe it’s my fault. maybe if i was a better girlfriend - or a better person - this wouldn’t be happening.” your lip quivers slightly as you speak.

he frowns at your sullen words, “now i know you’re stupid. shockingly, you’re a good person. he’s just a dumbass for not treating you the way you deserve.” he leans forward, careful not to disturb you, and takes another sip of the “coffee” before wrapping one arm around you and gripping the mug in the other. you feel yourself releasing tension you didn’t even know you had as you eased even further into him. that was another thing you loved about being in minho’s presence.

you felt so comfortable around him. something you rarely felt around other people. and minho was so blunt with you. he never sugarcoated things that other people would. “he really only fucked you over cause you let him. fuck him, i guess he didn’t know any better.” he sighed, rubbing his temple.

“he says that he still loves me, minho”

“does he? more importantly, do you? that man didn’t show any effort. i do all i can just to show you you’re special. some days i feel like i’m falling apart but i’m certain it’s your love that holds me together.”

you furrow your eyebrows and shift your body so you were now looking up at minho. “you say he keeps on playing games and his “loving” ain’t the same. i don’t know what to say but, what a shame” he rolls his eyes, pressing his lips into a thin line. “if you were mine, you wouldn’t get the same. if you were mine you would top everything”

perplexed, you tilt your head. “what are you talking about, minho?”

“he’s the only reason that i’m feeling this way. i could treat you better than he can” he places his hand on the small of your back, flashing you a half smile. you search his eyes for any bit of ingenuity until you realize that there is none. “what are you saying?” you cock an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate.

he rolls his eyes, scoffing. “why are you so dense? i’m in love with you. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you.” he huffs.

oh.

oh.

he was in love with you? your best friend, the one that you’d been in love with for longer than you could even remember, was in love with you? your eyes slowly widen at his sudden confession and you struggle to find the words to respond. “min..” was all that came out.

“if you don’t feel the same, we could always blame this on the alcohol and pretend it didn’t happen.” he whispers with a sad smile.

“but i wanna remember this” you say before closing the gap between the two of you and leaning forward to kiss him. it was better than you could’ve ever imagined. sparks flew and it just felt right. like your lips were only ever molded for each other.

“i love you, lee minho” you whisper into his lips between breaths.

seo changbin - “snooze - sza”

much similarly to the rest of the 3RACHA members, changbin was rarely ever home, meaning you rarely ever saw him. but the only difference was that he cherished the moments he had with you. whether it was when he spoke to you on the phone for 5 minutes on his break, or when he spent his off day at home.

but no matter what, changbin always reminded you that he’d do anything for you. even when you’d been going through your rough patches, like now. to be completely honest, you had no clue how this even occurred. it began with a disagreement. but all you knew was you were afraid that he’d break up with you. he hadn’t spoken to you about the disagreement or came home since it happened.

so when you surprised him by coming to the studio after hours, he couldn’t help but admire you. from his desk, he watched as you sat on the couch and scrolled through your phone, occasionally fidgeting with your fingers as you sat in each other’s presence. he couldn’t believe how you could be so beautiful doing such a normal thing. he hated fighting with you, you were his everything.

somehow, you sensed his eyes burning holes - affectionate holes - into your head. you glanced up and immediately met his gaze. “yes bin?” you said, watching the way blush quickly crept up onto his face. without saying a word, he stood up and sat beside you on the couch. you assumed he’d begin speaking about the issue but apparently he had other plans. his big hands immediately went to your hips and pulled you onto his lap. you yelped at the sudden move but you continued fidgeting with your fingers, looking down. “i’m sorry” he sighs, “for everything. i’m sorry that we had this disagreement and that i haven’t come home.”

you slowly look back up at him, analyzing his face; his beautiful yet tired face. his curly black hair fell across his forehead with his glasses pushed all the way up, resting on the bridge of his nose. he was wearing a black compression shirt with grey sweatpants; his eyes locked onto yours.“i love you.” he suddenly blurts out.

you blush at his confession, “i know, you’ve told me that everyday for the past two years”

“you know i’d do anything for you, right? mobbing, scheming, looting, hide your bodies. as long as you’re dreaming about me, there’s no problem.”

his list of crimes didn’t faze you, as you were used to him constantly reminding you that he’d do anything for you. you nod, silently. “i don’t have anybody, i’m just with you. tell the truth, i look better under you. i don’t like when i’m not with you. when we miss moments together”

he grins at your words, clearing his throat. “i can’t lose when i’m with you. how can i snooze and miss the moments? you’re just too important. i thought you were gonna leave me.” he sighs again.

“you was scared i was gonna leave and I'm the main one cryin'? just trying be your everything, your main one riding.”

“you’ll always be my world. i couldn’t imagine my life without you. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you.” he pouts, jutting his bottom lip out.

you press your lips to his.

“i love you too bin”

hwang hyunjin - “favorite mistake - giveon”

hyunjin had been part of your life since you were in the sixth grade. well, not your life, per se. more so, your older brother’s life. hyunjin and your older brother, felix, had become friends in the seventh grade, and the rest was history. they were only a year older than you so you’d always gone to the same school as them, which resulted in the three of you always walking to school, walking home, and hanging out after-school together.

and you’d had a crush on him ever since. when you first met him through felix, you immediately thought he was cute. but the more you got to know him, the more you found yourself attracted to him. his personality, his looks, everything about him was the embodiment of perfection.

you never thought anything much of your crush, knowing that he didn’t reciprocate and that felix didn’t approve. when you once complimented hyunjin’s looks to felix, he immediately shut you down.

“i said no. i don’t want you liking hyunjin, end of story.” felix narrowed his eyes at you. “why not? hyunjin’s cute and you don’t even know if he likes me back!!” you whine, rolling your eyes.

“because hyunjin is my friend and trust me, i know for a fact he doesn’t like girls younger than him.”

and you respected felix’s wishes. as far as he was concerned.

once your freshman year of college rolled around, you noticed a change in hyunjin’s behavior. whenever he came over to hang out with felix, he’d always slip away and meet you in the kitchen. you’d talk about everything and nothing until he had to return to felix before he got suspicious.

hyunjin found himself feeling comfortable in your presence. he enjoyed the deep conversations and how much you had in common. you both loved to paint, and dance, and read. you were so similar yet so different and he loved it.

which is how he ended up kissing you on the couch of yours and felix’s shared apartment during your weekly movie night. felix had gone to the bathroom and the two of you had been talking about the scene that just passed. when you turned to face him, his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips, which didn’t go unnoticed by you. you leaned in and kissed him and he gladly accepted it.

you quickly pulled away when you heard the bathroom door swing open and the boy emerged from it. you were thankful for the dim lights of the living room, so felix wouldn’t be able to see the blush on your face.

the next day, hyunjin came over during the afternoon. you looked at him with a puzzled expression, “felix isn’t here. you know he’s at work for another hour”. hyunjin walks into the house regardless, uninvited might you add.

“i’m not here for felix. ever since you kissed me, i can’t stop thinking about you.” his eyes darted all around the room, and he ran a hand through his already tousled hair, “i really like you. and i know you like me too. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you..”

“hyunjin, i do like you too. but..” you bit your bottom lip nervously, “i promised felix i wouldn’t get with you. he’d hate me and you too.” he suddenly clutched his chest with his hand and groaned, “the girl i love doesn’t want me??”

you giggle at his drama, “we’re like Romeo and Juliet except it’s not our parents keeping us apart, it’s my stupid brother.”

“who says he has to know?” he shrugs.

“what are you getting at?”

“we can be together in secret” he whispers the last part as if you aren’t the only ones home. “felix doesn’t have to know. nobody has to know, it’ll be our little secret.”

it took some convincing but you eventually agreed to see hyunjin in secret. what could you say? the boy was very convincing. neither of you wanted him to leave so you settled on the couch to watch a movie.

“i remember what happened last time we were on this couch” he whispers, wriggling his eyebrows. “oh really? i’m not sure what you’re talking about, can you remind me?” you tilt your head, feigning innocence. he smirks before placing his hand on the back of your neck, leaning in and closing the gap between you.

it’s just as amazing as the first, yet somehow better and you can’t imagine ever kissing anyone else. and that’s how it all began. the constant meet ups when felix was at work or in class. the secret dates. the anonymous flowers and gifts being sent to your apartment. felix was curious, but not suspicious. he was happy you’d found someone and that (as far as he was concerned) it wasn’t hyunjin.

one day, felix came to you, seemingly distressed. “have you spoken to hyunjin lately?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. shit. you shake your head vigorously, “no, i haven’t seen him. why?”

“he’s been acting weird. he’s been bailing on our hang outs and he’s not texting me back. he’s been.. distant” you felt for your brother, you really did. he was worried about his best friend, and you knew the truth. but the truth would break him.

“i’m really sorry lix. i haven’t seen him, though.” he offers you a sad smile and retreats to his bedroom.

later that day, when hyunjin meets you at your favorite coffee shop, you talk to him over two iced Americanos. “hyune.. i don’t know if this is the right thing to do. felix is upset. he says you’ve been distant and he hasn’t seen you. i don’t want to take you away from your best friend”

he takes your hands in his, “we both know it’s wrong but you’re still coming over. even when you’re gone, the feelings just grow stronger. should leave it alone but you’re still coming closer. we both know it’s wrong, can’t keep this for long.”

your stomach churns at his words, because you know he’s right. even though you both know that you shouldn’t be doing this, its as though your gravitated to him. and if it’s wrong, you don’t want to be right..

“look at what you do to me, our secret's safe so you're my favorite mistake. look in my eyes, can you find the lies? do you feel alive?”

you look into his eyes, they’re pleading. he’s pleading for you to not end this. you glance away.

“look in my eyes, do you mind the lies? do you feel alive?”

you nod, “i really love being with you, hyune. but i can’t bear hurting felix. either we tell him or we can’t be together.”

he looks at you with sad eyes but nods slowly. “i understand. he’s my best friend and i don’t wanna hurt him. you’re so caring.” he smiles.

he leans in and kisses you for the last time as a secret couple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n : wowowow.. i feel like these drabbles progressively got worse 😭 if you couldn’t tell, they were supposed to be reciting the song lyrics lolol. can you tell that hyunjin is my bias ? 😭