#but i feel so full and disgusting
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binged again 😭😭
didn't even get to purge bcs my mom heard me gagging in the bathroom!! so now I have to digest 2,000+ calories!!
#tw ed ana#3d not sheeran#3d but not sheeren#i wanna kms#4n4r3xia#4n4rex1a#4n4blr#4n4rexia#4n4m1a#tw m1a#ill burn it off tmmrw through exercise#but i feel so full and disgusting#why do i always mess up my progress
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how it started vs. how it’s going (feat. jealous percy)
#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#pjo#wrath of the triple goddess#wottg#guinea pig percy full beat annabeth u will always be famous#i have a few more silly posts queued and then i will get to my serious criticisms. which are. a lot#was admittedly more hyped for this book than i should’ve been so i’m left with a weird feeling of disappointment having read it but.#the percabeth was percabething until it wasn’t lol#i will elaborate later#on the bright side rickald seems to have finally gotten over his disgust regarding makeup on strong women. oh the horror 🫨🫨
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why is horror almost ALWAYS sweating bro this man must be a straight up water faucet with how much sweat he has in every horrortale panel. however it is for this reason that i think he has hyperhidrosis. hello my name is triglycercule and in this essay i will explain
#because he deserves to have to deal with sweaty hands 24/7#oh i KNOW it is annoying as hell to live in SNOWdin and then be sweating ALL THE DAMN TIME#me when i have my fan blasting at me but my hands are still wet#i cant be bothered to research more than hyperhidrosis can be caused by nervous system disorders#and nervous system disorders can be caused by damage to the brain/spinal cord. and guess who has a giant hole in his head#bro are you crying??? no its just my excessive sweat says horror#and then he just feels colder with the sweat and snowdin wind and then horror starts shivering all the time#shaky hands!!! sweaty hands!!!!!! permanently bloodstained hands!!!!! how else can i make horror hate his hands#he cannot pick up anything at all bro. not even open a doorhandle#in times like those its a goddamn shame horror cant sustain his blue magic#because he would be overusing the shit out of it if he did have it#when horror wants to cause a minor irritation to dust and killer he just rubs his hands all over them#because i do it#its SO disgusting imagine having someone's sweat all over your arm. yeah no#he replaced the whoopie cusion handshake for a drill so he wouldn't have to explain his sweaty hands 😭😭😭😭😭😭#a human got away from horror because they LITERALLY slipped out of his sweaty hands#i know bro was furious. it was comedically easy for them the escape#from that day forward he began wearing gloves. now he has to deal with changing them all the time#first reason you know someone read the horrortale comic: they draw horror with his sweat#i dont even have hyperhidrosis i just get so pissed when my hands start sweating so much. so horror has to deal with it too#i woke up this morning. fan on. full blast. sweaty hands. sweaty feet. immediately decide to cast my rage onto horror#not even 10 am and my hands are still wet even after i washed them someone slice my limbs off#tricule hc#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#sans au#utmv
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tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.
#and staff just say ‘oh we can’t do anything bc its not 11pm yet.’#ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.#i am autistic person who has just spent a full 12hrs in extremely overstimulating public spaces#i am exhausted and i have had to wake up at ass o’clock in the fucking morning#every day for the past like week and a half and will be expected to do so for the forseeable future#i am extremely sensitive to noise and have no ability to zone things out#like everything is always at the same volume for me#all the fucking time no matter what#and they say like oh well in the community there wouldnt be anything to be done so we cant do anything here#BUT WE ARENT IN THE COMMUNITY. ARE WE. WE ARE AT A SUPPORTED LIVING ACCOMMODATION WHERE I HAVE BEEN PLACED#BY MY LOCAL AUTHORITY WHO ARE PAYING TWENTY THREE GRAND A YEAR#AND I AM PAYING FIVE HUNDRED A MONTH#IN ORDER TO RECIEVE SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITIES. A BIG ONE BEING MY FUCKING AUTISM.#YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHICH IS BEING DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF ANOTHER TENANT.#WHEN I AM BEING PUSHED TO MY LIMIT ALREADY. LIKE IDK FEELS KINDA CRAZY THAT THIS ISNT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SORTED.#i fucking hate men there is just literally no fucking respect or consideration like its genuinely disgusting and so fucking infuriating#and like he says that staff (women. btw) are being too naggy about it. but never fucking stops to consider that maybe.#maybe people wouldnt have to ‘nag’ you about it IF YOU JUST. DIDNT DO THE THING THAT IS ACTIVELY CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE STRESS.#IDK FUCKING WILD IDEA JUST THOUGHT OF IT.#literally die i want everyone involved to die like I CANNOT DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS
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except home cooked meals are disgusting so there's nothing positive in that
Learn to let love in to your life
#life is a lot more enjoyable when you accept that there is good#so the food you cook isn't great. that's ok i hope you at least gad fun making it. i hope that youll find something else you enjoy#some times you gotta force a glass half full mentality to eventually feel good about life#we have the ground we walk on and the air we breathe#ren won't shut up#sorry that every single home cooked meal you've had has been disgusting. that's pretty sad
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So i searched for Vince Desi's twitter account and...
I regret everything.
#postal#postal 2#postal 1#it was traumatic#it's full of disgusting posts#tw: it involves the current genocide#text posts#im a new player so this was a “surprise” for me#surprise in quotes cause i didn't even know he had a twitter#but i kinda had the feeling while playing the game that something was wrong
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Men would rather see the realm put to the torch, than see a woman ascend the iron throne.
Needless to say, there are so many quotes from media (books, movies, television, etc.) that have spoken to me today (especially). From Padme to Leia, from Hermione to Katniss, from Aelin and Feyre and Violet, from every single warrior who has fought for a better world and never given up and always hoped for the better--
Media has always been what has gotten me through times like this. When the utter stupidity (which, I feel, isn't even a strong enough word to truly express the severity of the whole thing) is so great, and I've gone between utter and complete disgust and rage to disbelief and numbness.
And run the entire realm of emotions in between.
So forgive me if this post is a bit... disjointed. It's a true "let me get my thoughts down because I need to write them somewhere before my head utterly explodes" kind of thing.
I don't even know where to begin, in many ways. Because how do you truly put into words these feelings? How do you truly express the utter and complete disgust with mankind that you feel, when you didn't even set the bar very high to begin with? When you had it set extremely LOW, even, because of multiple factors:
They are in a CULT. Led by a con man. There can truly be no denying that whatsoever. And cults, by definitions, do not follow logic and reason and sense.
People are stupid. And hateful. And tend to vote "party" no matter what (in a lot of cases).
The American education system (especially in regards to history, civics, literature, etc.) is utterly horrible--and certain Powers That Be want to keep it that way because an ignorant populace is always easier to control.
And those are just SOME reasons I set the bar low. But at the same time, I had the smallest little nugget of hope:
Surely, the hypocrisy will be called out and stopped? Surely, the utter hate & division (and bullying & insulting & name-calling) will make some people open their eyes? Surely, the fact that so many prominent members of the Republican Party (lifelong senators & military leaders, etc) who have openly endorsed the Democratic candidate--as well as spoken on the dangers of re-electing that man--will show people that there are GIANT FLASHING WARNING SIGNS going off?
Surely, America can learn a little bit from history?
Right?
As a woman, it sickens me even more to see this country say, once again, that it will elect a man like that over a woman. For no other reason than the fact that he is a man, and she is a woman.
Because there can be no other reason, no matter what anyone tries to claim.
That this was even a question at all in the first place, and that there were those who were "undecided" at any time over which candidate to choose, proves that.
Because while a lot of the American system needs fixed (and while yes, the two-party system doesn't always give you "the best" options), it is VERY clear that we're not changing that part of the process any time soon.
So the USA really looked at a black woman who was intensely qualified on every single level, who ran a wonderful campaign in a shorter time than any other candidate in recent history, who spoke of trying to heal the division, to work with everyone, to make this a UNITED country--
And the majority of voters really said:
No, we will take the rapist. The felon. The schoolyard bully. We will take the fascist whose entire campaign was nothing but insults and name-calling. Of division and spreading hate. Of basically declaring those who didn't side with them "enemies".
The majority of American voters really looked at Kamala Harris and Tim Walz, and decided that everything they (American people) claim to hate about politics (division, lies, hypocrisy)--in other words, the entire campaign of Donald Trump and JD Vance--was the better option for this country.
Disappointed is not strong enough. Disgusted is not strong enough. Angry, sick-- There is no word that I can think of that is strong enough to fully express everything I've felt today, with this country.
There are times I have been "embarrassed" by America. Many actions in the early 2000s from President Bush. In 2016 when the nation first elected Trump. I thought I was in an alternate nightmare reality then, because I could not believe they were really that stupid.
But to see them do so again? To see, in the last 4 years since he lost in 2020, for him to do nothing but whine and argue and deny the facts like a fucking toddler throwing a damn tantrum*, only for this nation to say, "Yes, we want to elect this man again"--
I want to scrub the blood, the American identity, from my very DNA. I want to never see an American flag again. There is nothing to be proud of in this nation, when that ends up as the majority decision.
*And I would also like to note that Kamala acted like an actual adult, in that she conceded the race. That despite how utterly sick & disgusted we are, the Democratic Party is not whining and throwing some god-awful tantrum and fit, claiming CHEATER?
But hey, America, you wanted the toddler. You wanted the schoolyard bully.
Because god forbid we elect a black woman instead!
And now, I have something to say to all the so-called religious people. To all the so-called Christians.
Every single atheist and agnostic person I have ever met is far, far more "Christ-like" than you will ever be.
And when you die, and you stand before the God you believe in, be sure to tell Jesus just how much you hated your fellow neighbor. Just how much you did not follow what should be so easy:
"Love Thy Neighbor."
Because I know you just love quoting and throwing scripture at people, so have this one:
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and fed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" (Matthew 25: 35-40)
So I'm sure your Jesus knows of the hate in your heart. Of the true depth of your hypocrisy. Of claiming to do good in his name, when your actions are the complete opposite of what his words and teachings are.
Because while I may not believe any longer, I have the knowledge and the background and the understanding of what the Christian religion should be. What it is supposed to be.
And it is because of people like you that I do not. That I have seen far more "good people", "righteous people" and "kind people" that are not religious than I ever have of those who tie themselves to a particular faith.
So yes, as you stand all holier-than-thou in your churches, only to spew hate and bigotry every other day, know that your actions speak far, far louder than your words.
And if you truly believe (as you claim), then God knows that. Knows what is truly in that heart of yours.
I am sorry you feel like you must bring the entire country down with you. I am sorry that you feel like the entire world must succumb to your religious doctrine, your religious faith. I am sorry that you cannot grasp that "separation of Church & State" and "freedom of religion" are so integral to what the American society is supposed to be...
Because if you only want CHRISTIAN faith, and CHRISTIAN knowledge and CHRISTIAN doctrine and prayer-- but rebel at the idea that the Islamic faith or the Jewish faith or the Hindu faith or the Pagans or any of the other many, many other religions (and those who do not tie themselves to a particular religion at all)--would have equal opportunity and share and have their faith and "commandments" posted and beliefs made law...
Then you are a big, fucking HYPOCRITE.
But I honestly could expect nothing less.
You have a right to your religion. Your belief. Your practices. You can raise your children as secular or as religious as you wish. You can make your health decisions based on what you believe, based on your personal choices, your personal circumstances.
That is YOUR right.
What so many of you fail to understand is that you do NOT have the right to tell everyone else to live by your religion or your belief. To practice a faith that you hold. To make health decisions based on a religion that has nothing to do with them, or a government dictating what can and cannot be done in health decisions between a patient and a doctor.
The only people that should be allowed such a decision? The patient and the doctor. Anyone else that the patient wishes to bring into the conversation is the PATIENT'S choice.
Not. Yours.
Not the government's.
To finish this off (for now?), I'll say this...
I know it is tiring. It is exhausting, always fighting this fight. To prove, time and again, that we matter. That we (as women, as poc, as lgbtq+, as disabled, as mentally ill, etc) are real and living people deserving of a quality of life as good as anyone else. That none of us should be treated like second-class citizens.
And right now, I'm too utterly disgusted with everyone and so completely depressed-- I have gone in waves of feeling utter screaming rage, insane laughter, and numbness.
But then I go back to the beginning -- to media, to what has always been there:
"It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Fold in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something. What are we holding on to, Sam? That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."
So we will fight. Because despite the bad, despite the disgust and the exhaustion that weighs so heavily, there is still that good. There are still those who try to fight for that sanity. For reason. For logic.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
#politics#us politics#kamala harris#ramblings of a mad woman#very long post#real life thoughts#I spent all day trying to figure out the right words#and I'm still not sure what they are#this is all disjointed#but I needed to write SOMETHING#I needed to express SOMETHING#I feel like this is some horrible nightmare that it's impossible to wake up from#and yet I'm also super numb and not feeling anything at all#to the rest of the world -- I am sorry#I am sorry that hatred won out like it did#I am sorry and disgusted that humanity has sunk so completely low#And while I am tired#and exhausted#and this just further proves that my cats and my books are all I need in life#I am just... numb#and full of rage at the same time
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i’m going to be redoing/adjusting my rules a bit over the next few days in light of somethings. one additional rule that will be going into place is that i will no longer be following blogs that are book based — this does not apply to those who use the books as inspiration or like to draw from them, only those who are solely book driven. this is simply a personal preference. another rule is that i will no longer be interested in following duplicates for certain muses. while this will not apply to multi muses, it will be non - negotiable when it comes to solos and for my own sanity. in the same vein, i will not longer be seeking to entertain those who seem to keep a small collection of the same muse under their sleeve. this is not to say there is anything wrong with that, i am simply plot driven above all else and enjoy heavily exploring dynamics and this is not something i feel can be done when/if someone has no interest in focusing on singular muses. again, this is simply a personal preference. lastly, i have no wish to be collected or become apart of a number in your following list — while i do not expect that everyone who follows me to write with me, not all muses and styles mesh and i do understand this, i do expect some sort of support and interaction when it comes to everything else. it takes very little to like a post, ask questions, generally seem engaged with other writers. this is something everyone should be doing, and something i try very hard to ensure i do myself. if weeks have passed and you have not shown the slightest interest in anything i’ve had to say and share, i will be soft blocking you. you are welcome to refollow at a later date, but unfortunately the point remains. if any of this brings forth questions, you are welcome to ask. i apologize if any of this seems harsh.
#i feel weird awful disgusting and so bad#but i’ve already started to break on this blog#and i’m not about to lose another space#because i couldn’t deal just because some people are assholes#so yeah i guess we are getting firm#also—-#i wont be doing exclusives (at least for now) but i am doing mains#and will be adding those when i get a chance#these portrayals get full priority and are my general go - to for certain interactions
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Yea can we not do this?
This feels so disrespectful to me and I hate it. What is wrong with you.
Maybe I’m being over dramatic but I absolutely hate this and I don’t see how this could be taken positively. Way to dehumanize two birds with damn one stone, you couldn’t have made a worse first impression on me. This is such a gross clickbaity title. “Is this even real? Hahah. There’s No possible way these freaks couldn’t not want to screw each other.” “Erm, this wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card.”
This isn’t new? I know it’s clickbait for a reason, but this upsets me on such a personal level that I genuinely just don’t know what to do. I feel small. You didn’t need to do this.
I think I hate you.
#I guess I’ll tag this…#this is so gross and disgusting#furry community#furry#asexual#asexuality#murder…maybe#apologies for reacting. ik that’s what clickbait wants. but this feels so dehumanizing and I just want to seek out community.#I don’t care if this video is full of only nice comments. or if it is actually as horrible as the title.#if you are doing this I don’t trust you and I never want to meet you. I hate this. I hate it so much.#I feel so small#I feel like I’m being too much but I’m upset#something about what consenting adults do is none of your business#I don’t know man…#I don’t care if you are the nicest person on earth. your thumbnail shouldn’t make me feel less human. I don’t want to watch this video.
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ACAB includes Tereesz Machejek
#sacred and terrible air#That's the only post I will make about this book#Tereesz Jesper and Khan are so stuck in the past#The Pale is a terrifying force of nature that moves like a tsunami#Everyone in there is full of shit and I love that#The descriptions of the girls' bodies and the ways that a woman's body changes over the years were a bit gross#But in general I wasn't expecting to be comfortable with this in the first place#good art makes you feel stuff#and sometimes what you feel is disgust
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You know, I used to really wonder how it got so bad under the Nazis, like were that many people really just cool with watching their neighbors get beaten and shot and dragged away in broad-ass daylight?
and then lot of liberals vented their post-election disappointment by saying shit with their whole chest that made it clear their role in that historical context would have been 'stealing things from the homes of the neighbors they just watched the Nazis drag away while telling anyone in earshot that the detainees had it coming,' and I don't wonder how it got that bad anymore.
#'about to watch all the Arabs who voted for Stein get deported teehee' I'd tell you to go to hell but yr its employee of the month#i've been disgusted by Blue MAGA for years but wow they really went full masks off knives out huh#us politics#I'm off twitter so I've only seen a few screenshots. but what I saw gave me the exact same feeling as the 2017 tiki torch rally did.
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Chill, Sub-Commander (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#DAX#ZEX#Teisel#The Captain#Haha yeah good luck with that one#This scenario is basically tailor-made for exactly Zero VUX to be chill about - ZEX included he just has no chill in the other direction lol#The set up of DAX near-missing ZEX because they didn't recognize each other yet has some fun comedy hijinks about it hehe#Literally in the same room! ZEX doesn't know he's there and DAX doesn't know who to look for! Or if ZEX is there yet either to be fair haha#I love ZEX's asides of ''Got Teisel .D Very helpful very useful'' and then - lol#It was kinda like that in his first run as well tho :') Too many disappearances! Weh#But he has DAX now ♪ And Zelnick!! :DD#Which DAX is just ecstatic about lol no hard feelings there at all hahaha#Don't be rude DAX#Zelnick is so sweet honestly hehe <3 Willing to put up with all sorts of VUX silliness hehe#Really gets - well not the full VUX spectrum DAX isn't /disgusted/ by him (at least not visually lol he Is very angry haha)#But still a good range of reactions! Pursuit and not-that to be sure hehehe#Everyone's dynamic is so fuuunnnn ahh <3 ZEX nad DAX sweet and trusting - ZEX and Zelnick heated and adorable#And DAX and Zelnick! What will they be what will they do :3c#Hehe I loved his little bit of anger that he swallowed to keep the peace so measured Captain ♪#Meanwhile DAX is not at all trying to be subtle about how mad he is lol#He's all DX< about it hahaha#Certainly this situation and these circumstances won't affect him at all and he'll stay just as annoyed and aloof from the Captain as always#I'm sure that'll be the case :) Hehehehehe
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in case there was ever any doubt, i’m not okay with AI generating tools being built on the stolen works of artists or anyone else whose images or writing have been crunched into a training data set without consent.
#fuck ai#ai images#ai art#midjourney#stable diffusion#artificial art#it feels so distinctly anti-human#i have trouble putting the full range of my disgust into words#no one deserves to have their work stolen for a machine to crunch up and crap out pixel sludge to steal their job#fuck every part of that system
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Tulips by Sylvia Plath
#tulips#poetry#Sylvia Plath#psych ward#medical#hospital#mental hospital#upload#I have a nagging feeling the needle was full of Thorazine#that’s what they do at some mental hospitals. just put you on meds that make you sleep so they don’t have to deal with doing their jobs#I’ve seen people who are literal zombies because the doctors gave them an antipsychotic dosage that was WAY too high#like there were people that would sleep all day because they genuinely couldn’t get up after injections being forced upon them#and sometimes they were literal children#it’s kind of extremely evil#you’re not fixing the problem you’re just drugging someone to a point they cannot function#and that’s disgusting to me
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therapy (alternate title: talking about white boy for 50 minutes straight)
#my therapist proposed the idea that i may be asexual.#like thanks i know. but also thanks for validating me because i still feel like a late bloomer sometimes#the question of the ages: am i an ace lesbian or am i just afraid of men? (or am i aro too)#because i can only imagine myself feeling comfortable romantically around women#but attraction isn’t a factor either way…#and i only feel comfortable with women in general .#touch starved hopeless romantic boy meets touch repulsed full of platonic love and nothing else girl. they both die#THIS IS WHY I THOUGHT I WAS TRANS TOO i felt so ill being in a female body but that was not because#i was trans it was because i felt sexualized and i wanted to be seen as a person before a body#and i felt like if i was a boy that would be the case#but i never felt any better viewing myself that way. i felt worse.#thanks misogyny 👍👍👍#anyway i love you trans people you are so cool it was just not me do not take this the wrong way#🙏🙏🙏#i will just be unlabeled and only date girls. forever#you will never catch me with a cishet dude SORRYYYY 🤞🤞🤞#i like fictional men and that is IT the moment i imagine them with an actual face i get disgusted#whateverrrr#i will stay in my little fictional bubble#pink haired foxian man hmu
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Lucy obliviously like liking Lockwood moment #I-don't-even-know-at-this-point
There's only two rooms (four beds) at the Old Sun Inn. Cue Lucy calculating possible roommates:
"There was a heavy silence. I scanned the others, taking in Holly's neat traveling bag, doubtless crammed with body lotions and skin cleansers; George's ominously light backpack, which lacked room for any conceivable change of clothes; Kipps's angular and palely ginger frame, the horrors of which were just hinted at beneath his turtleneck; and Lockwood. To share a room with any of them presented problems."
And Lockwood.
...
Lucy. Luce. I can't help but notice that you have no ill thoughts about Lockwood here compared to everyone else (¬‿¬)
#this book (and the others) are chock full of these moments and they're slowly killing me#I love it#partially cause Lucy doesn't even realize how admiring and flattering her thoughts on Lockwood are#I mean here it's bare bones and just his name#but considering her thoughts on George and Kipps (she's so mean to him it kills me 😭) I feel like it stands out#Like she doesn't want to room with the other boys because#she's disgusted because George is a slob#and she finds Kipps to be unappealing to look at and in general (Lucy stop. Be nice to poor Kipps!)#while she doesn't want to room with Lockwood because...he's Lockwood#anyways I thought this was funny#lockwood and co books#lockwood and co the creeping shadow#the creeping shadow#lockwood and co
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