#but i dont have anything left

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

July 30th, 2024

If I don't write a title, you know that Evren is going crazy.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

This is wrong. This is so, so wrong.

But I don't have anything else to do. I have nothing to lose.

It's weird how things change. It's amazing, even.

Someone actually reads this. Really.

Hello, second ex. I know you'll read this. You learnt a lot about me. I don't know what else to tell you.

How funny.

It really is.

Now I can really say "dear diary,...". You're the "diary". And I can say "you", too. It makes things more fun.

You seem to like fun.

You're very strange. Well, so am I. We both have nothing to lose.

I know I sound stupid. I'll be back soon.

Enjoy the rest of my entries, if you didn't read everything by now.

And rest well.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

So yeah, we worked it out on the remix! Crazy.

[clonewarsahsoka]

I want to give up so bad

[hinamie]

wonder if they know what he's on about

[hellspawnmotel]

epsilons

[s1nosha]

quick filler post i knwo its supposed to be brunet for nick BUT SHUT UP!!! IGNORE THAT

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[wiltkingart]

so there's this elf

[javierduffy]

different.

[astral-disastral-catastral]

HEAR ME OUT smilk's new beast raid boss is a goat looking thing BECAUSE

PV probably takes some sort of inspiration from prophets in abrahamic religions more notably jesus than anything else or atleast imo and like you see him with sheep and stuff like in 1 of his overworld animations where he's with a cotton candy sheep like he may have been a shepard before his pilgrimage and stuff and what are sheep known for other than being cuddly and cute and tasty? LOYALTY!!!! And there's like a buncha thing abt sheep in some religions too like in the bible sheep are brought up a lot and are of high value I think not 200% sure like sacrificing sheep or using them as metaphors for things like followers following a religion or prophet with loyalty. Smilk is essentially like legit the polar opposite of pv, deceitful, opposing colour palette, completely different personality, yk and what Is his beast raid boss? A GOAT THING!!! What are goat known for other than being also tasty? Being more disobedient and violent and stubborn compared to sheep who are easier to control and stuff so a goat is basically the antithesis of a sheep [especially in the bible there are metaphors and stuff used for like people eho are sinful i think again not 100% sure....] THEREFORE HIS BEAST RAID BOSS HIS A GOAT TO OPPOSE PV IN EVERYWAY EVEN FURTHER!!!!!! Like js think abt it........ smilk=antipv and goat is anti-sheep.... PLUS technically you could relate a goat to demon stuff like that 1 demon called baphomet kinda look like a goat sorta soo.... yeah I'm a genius I know very smart very demure

[fox-guardian]

I can't get over that last scene from this episode. that long pause where sam was quietly grabbing a drink and you could barely hear celia talking to jack as she put him to bed in the other room. nothing was happening in that moment that needed to be recorded. no terrible events no big revelations. just sam and celia quietly going about their lives, sharing a domestic moment.

as something watched and listened. and we don't know why it's listening.

[wormthing]

Embroidered recreation of the Jekyll and Hyde musical's 1994 album cover ::-)

Started in April 2023 but when i realized i couldn't fit the whole cover i froze up... i finally decided to just do Henry's bust.

[vigilskeep]

when you first start the cousland origin, you can have some conversations with arl howe, teyrn cousland, and duncan that shed some interesting light on the political situation in ferelden. it’s definitely the origin where you get the most context on the rebellion and on cailan and his father. while howe isn’t exactly the most trustworthy of sources, he is also one of the most openly critical of cailan that we have access to, which i think is worthy of interest

howe remembers maric with what the toolset describes as “genuine fondness”: “your father hasn’t spoken of our time with him? that man took care of his friends. as they say, he was large as life and twice as tall!” i think we should pay particular attention to that man took care of his friends.

what howe’s talking about is a really important aspect of kingship, where you win the consent and enthusiasm of the nobility for your rule by offering rewards like wealth, land, and prestige to the loyal. kingship is always less stable than it’s portrayed, and this is one of the ways that kings must essentially sell to the nobility that answering to them is worth their time, which would be especially important in ferelden given everything we know about its culture. fereldans believe someone only has power when it is given by the loyalty of those below them, who have the right to freely rescind that loyalty. the dao codex says that “the sight of [fereldan kings] asking for—and working to win—the support of ‘lesser’ men is a source of constant wonder to foreign ambassadors.”

i suspect howe is remembering a maric fresh from the victories of the rebellion, who was able to reward those who had followed him with the spoils of those victories. at the end of the stolen throne, we see that in the final days of the rebellion, maric was killing those who had betrayed his mother to the orlesians even when they arrived under truce to meet him on holy ground. in dao, we see no lingering orlesian nobility except for those who married in and continue to be met with marked hostility. i think we can safely surmise that maric elected to make no conciliatory measures and give everything to those who had followed him; with the orlesians on the run and his people out for blood, he was in a strong enough position to do so, and it certainly served to win the fond memories of men like howe.

by contrast, howe goes on to say, “it’s too bad cailan isn’t half that.” the toolset notes establish very clearly that it’s the same issue, elaborating on howe’s thoughts: “bitter turn, i don’t get as much from the current king”, and “disdainful, i have no use for him, he does me no favours”. this isn’t a minor character detail, if howe’s last words when killed by the player are anything to go by. “maker spit on you... i deserved... more...” whatever it is that howe feels he should have been given, by the crown or anyone else, it characterises his actions and his defining treachery.

it’s in these same conversations that we see another side of this demonstrated. there are two points where howe can openly criticise the king, and bryce immediately admonishes him for both. one even has the toolset note: “speaks sharply, as a lord to a lesser man, not a friend to an equal”. it definitely comes across that way; the way he tells howe “that’s enough” is not far off the voice he uses when the player, his child, displeases him. bryce can’t tolerate any criticism of cailan, as the couslands in dao are ardent supporters of the king. to venture some hc, i suspect that this is not merely royalist fervour, and that howe’s resentment for having been given less is matched by bryce’s awareness of the precariousness of having more.

over the centuries, the theirins have consolidated their power and eradicated almost all the teyrns (the noble rank that is second only to the king). with the only other lingering teyrn being loghain, who is essentially part and parcel of the royal family, the couslands stand alone as the only real rivals to theirin power within ferelden. there are rumours that bryce was once considered for king instead of the theirins; he too could have decided to believe he “deserved more”. but unlike howe, and perhaps understandably given his strong position and happy growing family, he is satisfied with what he has. he will not take the risk of even the slightest challenge being made within his hall

(i expect that bryce’s satisfaction with the current situation further spurred howe’s dissatisfaction to its heights, given the complicated cousland-howe history and the fact that he was expected to accept a friend he had fought beside as a superior for the rest of his life.)

i don’t think howe’s judgement on cailan is likely to be without basis. we don’t hear about any victories the young king has to his name, from which he could have passed around spoils. (to be fair, cailan had harder luck than maric in this regard. a king who raises a successful rebellion gets to bring glory and prestige to everyone who follows him, whereas a king trying to rebuild after that rebellion mostly gets to bring, uh, taxes probably. especially on wealthy centres of trade like howe’s amaranthine, one might assume.) cailan also takes a far more diplomatic approach to the question of orlais, which perhaps predictably did not win over many nobles of howe’s generation. it makes sense that cailan’s strongest supporters would instead be men like bryce who hope for things to simply continue, peacefully, as they are. perhaps in another world where cailan had won the battle of ostagar, he might have earned wider respect. (you could actually argue on this basis that there’s more sense and purpose to cailan’s glory-seeking than he usually gets credit for.) but howe already acts before ostagar, which can only demonstrate his certainty in cailan’s failings at this point: his belief that even if cailan could win, he would not be stable enough to pursue justice for the couslands

[mummer]

spock: goes through the evil time machine that makes you want to fuck women

spock: thinks even a little bit about fucking that woman

bones, the angriest he’s ever been: Well spock’s broken. we gotta get out of here right now. Gonna shove him against the wall and get really close to his face about it. To remind him that hes gay

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 6 - Secret

The jealousy that began to bubble up, though likely pointless to hide from her of all people, Arsay desperately tried to keep a secret from her dear friend Krile.

[ju-liczka]

When it comes to Morgott we all can agree he is just build... different✨ (that shoulders five times his head *shivers*) So there are some of my thoughts if u wanna read them because they kinda explain my take on him in this drawing lol

I was thinking recently more about his fur and how it looks on his body. It's patchy, It looks rough and uneven... Even his tail when you look closer, It's shape is more defined by the muscles rather than the hair on it. Every artist drawing him gives him much more fluff and I truly think it's well deserved. And from the game design/lore perspective it's completely understandable. He is made to look grotesque, deformed, aged and ugly even... That's all intended... BUT!

I was thinking... What if it's mostly just lack of... maintenance? Lack of care. Malnourishment and neglect of a kind? We know that the Erdtree has a kind of sickening effects on Omens as well. Mohg is for sure holding up much better and I kind of don't believe they would be so much different from eachother (the influence of Formless Mother on Mohgs looks is after all not entirely known). He has more pride in himself and so he carries himself better than his brother that is still loyal and so close to the Golden Order. Mohg took his chance at getting away from the Erdtree and I think it is obvious that this freedom did him some good. I personally belive that Morgott could also achive such change if it wasn't for his deep rooted loyality to the Order and crippling self-resentment.

So to sum my thoughts up... What if he's just not thriving?

Just imagine this kind of idealistic scenario when he can finally put his needs first. When he can take care of himself or let others care for him. He puts on some more weight, rounding up his already muscular body giving it softer, healthier look. His furr thickens and follows up to the rest of his body not just limbs (could be just as thick as the rest or more like a soft fuzz maybe idk). His posture straightens, as with healthy body comes healthy mind. Of course, he is still an old man at the end of it. The years made their mark on his features and some of them are irreversable. But he is healing~

And I personaly love imaginging him in this healing state that unfortuntly is impossible to get in game. But game is game and fan work is fan work. And in my tiny rotten brain I give him little forehead kisses and tell him how precious he is uwu

[hoofpeet]

I do appreciate the nice asks genuinely- and hopefully it doesn't come off as though I resent them. It's just unbelievably exhausting to keep doing this when I don't really get anything from putting all my energy into drawing shit and. ultimately, nobody in my personal life cares what I do. I guess I don't know what I expect from doing this shit and uhm. For what it's worth I am sorry for constantly making everyone deal with this melodramatic shit. But GOD I am tired