#but i don't wanna vent about it more than this so i am just gonna vaguely gesture generally and let it all sit for a bit

[rapidhighway]

Hnngg

[cyberroses]

Feeling emotional over technical difficulties of all things, will deal with it tomorrow, or today i guess, but now i sleep

[wren-kitchens]

kinda venty/rant thing in tags cause im embarassed by it and dont wanna put it in a post HDJSK

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !

[xxxpu55yslay3rxxx]

So in other words, tumblr architecture enforces this shit lmao. This just verifies my crackpot theory that Tumblr rots your brain unless you are self aware about it.

Also I'd like to add, tumblr's commenting system sucks! Character limit that they don't tell you about, every single time you want to reply to anybody you have to tag them, making that shit look messy. Also for the fact that it just shows comments out of order sometimes. If ordered by latest first, you'll see recent comments on top sometimes even if you shouldn't.

Fuck it, let me be unhinged on the last line:

Tumblr ontologically fucking sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Google+ was better!!!!!!!!!! the less this site acts like tumblr and more like good social media, the better!!!!!!!!

i think tumblr structurally encourages pissing on the poor

epistemic confidence: medium. (i always wanted to say that). this is amateur sociology and so should be taken with quite a bit of salt. this is absolutely a just-so story.

i think part of the reason tumblr and other similar social media websites have such a problem with misinterpretation is that conversational repair works differently than other forms of communication.

if you're talking in a group of people (over voice or over 'synchronous' communications like irc/discord that encourage short messages and paying attention) and someone responds in a way that indicates they misinterpreted you, you can interrupt them. and importantly, everyone else in the conversation hears you interrupting them. on a traditional forum with linear posts, you can't interrupt them, but anyone that reads all the posts (which, granted, isn't everyone) will eventually see your clarifying reply.

but on tumblr, if you make a post, X reblogs it with a misinterpretation, and you reply/reblog correcting X's interpretation, you have no way of notifying everyone that saw it from X; people generally don't go back and reread the notes on old posts, unlike forums where you'd typically read the threads you participate in. so the misinterpretation spreads.

and of course there's the whole 'screenshot this post to make fun of it' thing (which i'm not immune to, although i'm trying to do it less). it's obvious that screenshotting part of a post makes it even easier to misinterpret it, and i suspect that at this point for some people the mere presence of the "underwater" filter is enough to prime a "this is a bad opinion, i should disagree with it" reflex! and you can't go "hang on, that's not what i meant".

anyway. don't take this as like an iron law of social media or a thing that is definitely 100% true. but it's something i've been thinking about.

[jifloulette]

It reminded me of you.

relationships with blue lock boys as kpop songs . . .

pairing -> itoshi rin, bachira meguru, yoichi isagi x gn!reader (seperate !)

warnings -> some angst on some parts, swearing here and there, might be ooc ? not proofread !!

word count -> rin and yoichi's is 0.7k, bachira's is 0.9k

author's note -> please click the links on the song names !! it'll help you understand why i chose that specific song ^^

. . . itoshi rin !

♫ now playing . . run2u by stayc - - - next in queue . . save me save you by wjsn

You knew the risks of dating someone cold and stoic like RIN ITOSHI, hell you were even surprised that he liked you back. You knew damn well that you were going to get hurt in the process, but you didn't care. All you wanted to do was to be with him. It doesn't matter if he's happy (you might not see it on the outside but being his s/o made you know how he is if he's happy), disheartened or upset. Your friends warned, fuck, even your classmates who you didn't even know or liked told you so. They just didn't know him like you did. Yes, you've gotten hurt before but he would ALWAYS apologize. You've learned to become patient for him during his breakdowns, he would say things like "I fuckin' hate my lukewarm brother." and "I need to become fucking better, how else am I.. gonna beat him..". You were confused whenever his breakdowns happened, it wasn't a weekly thing for him to do that, it only happened whenever you noticed him become tense and pressured. You didn't know why he hated his brother, I mean the Itoshi Sae? But you've never asked him about it, knowing he'd get agitated.

You were the first ever person he fell for, the first person he genuinely liked being around. RIN ITOSHI was scared for the first time again, scared that one day you might leave him too. Scared that he might scare you away because god, he knows how he acts whenever he's feeling distressed. He couldn't understand it, why have you stayed this long with him? Why did you treat him so differently? Weren't you just using him for his money and his fame? He knew the answers to all of his questions when one day, he just couldn't take it anymore. He'd accidentally lashed out his anger on you, the one person who he actually cared for. RIN ITOSHI had accidentally hit you, it didn't hurt much, yet it still alarmed you. He realized what he did just in time before he held you in his arms, apologizing over and over again as he cried onto your shirt. "Baby.. it's okay, really.." you said to him while caressing his hair. "N-no.. it's not! I'd accidentally hurt you, the one person I genuinely cared for..! H-how is that okay?!" RIN ITOSHI replied, you carefully asked him if he wanted to talk about why he felt like this to which he hesitantly said yes to. "I wanna know what happened, Rinnie.. don't try to hide it. I'll always be by your side", just by saying those words, RIN ITOSHI poured his heart out on his vent to you, saying that he felt distressed because he heard some of your classmates saying that his brother will always be better than him. He told you the reason why he hated his brother, he recalled the night where his brother said some things that was too painful to say out loud. After he was done, you held him in your arms once more, RIN ITOSHI couldn't take it anymore. He cried once again, asking you why you had stayed with him this long, why were you here listening to his vents, were you just getting dirt to gossip about him? You asked him saying, "Rinnie.. you wanna know why I've been here with you for so long?", he looked up at you with his beautiful teal eyes and simply nodded, "The only reason why I'm here with you is because I love you. Not for your fame, not for your success, and certainly not for your money but for you..", RIN ITOSHI was surprised, you really weren't using him? He had doubted you for a bit but oh, your tone while you said that to him made him believe that what you were saying is true. That's all that he needed to hear before hugging you tightly again, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "Thank you so so fucking much, y/n.. you don't know how much I love you..", the black-haired boy in front of you said.

RIN ITOSHI now believes that true love exists, and true love is wherever you are. He didn't care if you saw him at his most vulnerable state, he knew you wouldn't gossip that to your other friends. RIN ITOSHI now knows the answers to all of his questions, he knows that you will stay with him until the end of times.

. . . bachira meguru !

♪ now playing . . love is lonely by NMIXX

BACHIRA MEGURU was convinced that you were his special someone. You were convinced that he was your special someone too. For all of BACHIRA MEGURU's life, he'd been lonely. Only sharing his love and appreciation to his mother who held deeply in his heart. The second you went up to him, asking if he was okay, he felt skeptical. He wasn't stupid, so he'd ask you if someone ordered you to come to him just to record him at his weakest. You were taken aback yet you knew what the others said about him and his "monster", you really could care less about what they said about him. "Huh? No.. I came here because I saw feeling down after classes ended." you replied, you took your hand out and asked him if he wanted to come with you to go to a place that was special to you. He was reluctant at first but eventually gave in. He'd noticed you in class before, you weren't like the others. You genuinely had a pure heart.

You ran in front of him while holding his hand still. BACHIRA MEGURU swore he felt a big, genuine smile starting to grow on his face. Were you the person the monster inside him was looking for? You introduced him to a small bench, not that far from the school. You told him how you discovered this place as you were randomly walking home and decided that it was gonna be your special place. You had brought fairy lights to hang on the trees that were around the bench. The two of you sat on it and it was as if fate that you guys fit perfectly on it. You went on rambling about how you'd always wanted to be his friend but you were to shy to ask him, and how he'd been the first ever person you had brought along to go here. He didn't even notice how there was light pink tint starting to grow on his face. Ever since then, you and BACHIRA MEGURU had been together as if the two of you were cursed for all eternity to be together, he wouldn't mind if that was the case.

It wasn't long before he had started to fall for you, just the way you would talk to him, take care of him, comfort him, and treat him as if he were an actual person were just a few reasons on why he'd fallen for you. If he could, he would rant on for hours and hours on why he likes you so much. Before he knew it, it had already been 6 months since the two of you had met. You'd asked him to go your guys' special place to which he had ecstatically said yes to. He obviously wanted to at least look good for you, even though you said that whatever he would wear, he'd still look good. The second he arrived at the bench, he saw that you weren't there which was strange.. He thought maybe you were just playing games with him. "Y/n! You can come out now~!" BACHIRA MEGURU shouted playfully, yet you still didn't come out. He noticed an envelope on the bench with a heart sticker on it, he knew that he would want you to open it knowing that only you and him knew about this secret hangout spot and thought you had left it for him to find. He noticed a handwritten "To: BACHIRA MEGURU, my best friend in the whole entire world" on it, and when he opened the envelope, a long piece of paper was in it. He slowly unfolded it and read the contents of the letter. "Dear Megu, I'm sorry I couldn't come to you face to face to tell you what I've been feeling recently. The thing is, the second you held my hand that late afternoon, I fell for you. Call it stupid but god, I immediately fell for you. The fact you didn't hesitate to come with me just made me blush thinking about it. I've always knew I liked you before we were even friends, but I just thought of it as infatuation. You really did prove me wrong because you were the person I've been meaning to find ever since I watched romance movies and discovered what love is. The fact you listen to my endless talks about whatever really made me fall for you even more! In the span of the 6 months of our friendship, you became someone that I loved being around with. I want to end our friendship though.. and maybe start having a new relationship, a romantic one. Soo.. what do you say? Will you accept?", the letter said and god did he fall for you even more. The fact that you loved him the same way he loved you, oh who was he kidding, he's head over heels for you. As he was coming to the end of the letter, a pair of hands slowly hugged him from behind. He knew it was you, he recognized your touch all too well. The second you hugged him, he turned around and picked you up. "Oh y/n! You don't know how long I've been waiting for this day!" You were surprised, you really didn't expect that unpredictable action of his. Your smile became as big as the entire world to say the least, your eyes having some sort of sparkle in it. "So, do you accept..?" you asked gleefully, to which BACHIRA MEGURU replied by kissing you.

BACHIRA MEGURU had finally found the true meaning of love, it was the embodiment of you. The hardships of his life he had left behind due to you. He went inside the school campus with a smile on his face knowing you would be there waiting for him. BACHIRA MEGURU had finally fallen, he had let himself fall for you.

. . . isagi yoichi !

𝄞 now playing . . cool with you by New Jeans

If there was one word to describe how ISAGI YOICHI felt whenever he was with you, it would be comfort. Just being beside you, it would bring him to ease knowing that you were right there with him. You guys could be scrolling on your phones, showing each other different videos that reminded you guys of each other and he would already fall deeper in love with you. You understood him better than anyone else could, you knew what to do and what to say whenever he felt sorrowful. Whether it be losing a really really important soccer match or if he felt insecure and unconfident. Maybe that's why he liked you so fucking much. Your presence just soothes his soul, he didn't know how to explain it, it just did.

ISAGI YOICHI didn't always need for you to tell him how much you loved him, he could always feel it, as if the two of you were somehow telepathically connected. Just simply holding his hand, caressing his hair, and telling him how good he was at playing soccer was all he needed to know. People could see how deep the connection the two of you had, even before you guys were together. Whatever emotion he was feeling, it was almost as if you felt it the same way he did, maybe that's why the two of you had such a strong bond with each other. The two of you could go days and days doing the same thing over and over again but it wouldn't bore him, not when the person who he cherishes most was with him. Sometimes, ISAGI YOICHI finds himself zoning out during classes just thinking about you! He just can't help it, he's totally the type to chat you "I miss you" the second you part ways after walking home from school. He really cherishes every moment he has with you, even if he's not physically next to you, just seeing you makes him relaxed. That's definitely his motivation whenever you watch his games as well, just seeing you cheer your heart out for him, he can't help but drive himself to win, just for you.

Even if he knows how much he means to you, he sometimes can't help but doubt himself, he finds himself wondering if the effort he's putting into the relationship is the same as the effort you put in. "Baby.. do you think that sometimes.. I'm somehow lacking something in our relationship..?" the deep blue-eyed boy in front of you asks, "Huh? Love, of course not! You've given so much into our relationship, what else could I ask for?" you reply, your hand cupping his cheek. "'m sorry baby, I just felt down.." ISAGI YOICHI says, "Oh baby.. don't you ever think that you're dragging our relationship down, okay? I know you love me the same way I love you." you remind him, kissing his forehead. You see him blush and the tip of his ears turn red and you pinch his cheek as you tease him for being so so cute! "H-hey..! Why'd you just randomly pinch me!" the dark blue haired boy says, "Well, you're just so so so cute and I can't believe you're mine~!" you playfully respond. His face becomes even redder now that you said that. You chuckle at the sight of him and you pepper his face with kisses, on his lips, his neck, his jawline, his forehead, you bet that you didn't leave any part of his face untouched. It was moments like these in where he thought that the two of you were the only ones in the world, he has an album of memories in his brain stored with each and every memory the two of you had ever made. God was he crazy about you.

ISAGI YOICHI believed, no, he knew that you were his soulmate and that you knew that he was yours. He would find comfort whenever you were with him, and though he isn't the most verbally talkative lover, you knew how much he adores you. (Please let him daydream about how ethereal you would look at your guys' wedding, he would very much appreciate it, even if you find it funny)

©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.

[monnn]

Am I the greatest bastard that you know?

staring: idol! jeonghan x non-idol!, gn! s/o

wc: 1.3k-ish

genre: ANGST. big angry feelings of reader, kinda fluff towards the end?

a/n: hi, ur fav angst lover is back! things have not been great lately and this fic might just be a vent of mine. big feelings and anger is very valid but so is taking a break. hope you realise that and take a break from life to just exist! to whoever's reading this, i love u, let things take time, take time for yourself, stay hydrated and BE ANGRY!!!

divider by @saradika-graphics !!!

song rec for this fic is The Greatest Bastard by Damien Rice!

knowing how stressful going on a hiatus can be, you successfully lure jeonghan into a staycation, away from the city. though han had to be present for rehab, you had checked with the doctor and he was okay with han being away for a weekend. doing nothing was the plan since jeonghan was actively burning out from working hard to the extent that he's injured, so he was looking forward to spend time with his loved one for a while. what neither of you knew was the fight that would gonna pop up at reaching the room. hannie had drove all the way to the hotel since you didn't have a license and all you had done after reaching there was ask what he wanted to eat since y'all had skipped the rest stops.

~ 30 mins before

"hey love, what do you feel like eating? i could order it for us" you ask a very eepy han.

"just anything, i'm okay with anything" he replies and you can sense the exhaustion in his voice. to make sure you don't get him more grumpy, you ask again to confirm if he's sure about his decision.

"jesus y/n! can you cut me some slack? just stop fucking bothering me and order whatever the fuck you want!" he yells, shaking you to the core.

here's the thing - there necessarily hasn't been any major disagreements or "fights" in your relationship, so the intensity of his feelings get to you. but he should've known better than to snap because your rage knows no bounds and hannie does know about this.

"well, fuck you with that behaviour of yours, i'm not gonna be ordering any food!"

"good! because i don't fucking need it anymore either!" he screams, walking away from the room. you had put great effort in picking a room which is right by a stream, surrounded by mountains and a temple on one of the mountains.

trying not to mind the rage and disappointment with han, you chug a glass of water before doing anything. but you weren't gonna let han off the hook because he was having a hard time. the value you hold for yourself is much more important and you've tried so hard to just have that value in your life for so long, hence you are not going to let the love of your life doubt on it. finishing another glass of water, you leave the room in search of hannie with some snacks and a drink.

you are yet find han with the passing time. he wasn't by the stream, hadn't left the premises according to the owner and definitely hadn't hiked up a mountain(cause bro was literally eepy). but the one place you hadn't scraped was the temple, so you hydrate and go on to check if he's there.

in fact, he is there. his silhouette seems regretful. melancholic even. hunched over and zoning out by overthinking. you stomp your way towards the temple, letting him know of your arrival as he fixes his posture and keeps his gaze down. leaving your shoes behind, you enter the temple and kneel infront of han to provide well-needed snacks and water. he whispers a small 'thank you' and you move aside to sit away from him. not that you wanted to, rather wanting to just talk without any physical contact. you see him chug the water and eat his snacks, making a part of you feel relieved. after finishing his nibbles, han thinks he's ready to talk cause he knows it's better to do this right now than to dwell and let it become bigger.

"y/n, i'm sorry. i am not gonna reason myself for my actions towards you but i do wanna let you know i'm really tired. probably beyond exhaustion. i love you but that was really wrong of me to behave that way when you were just trying to make me feel better." he begins.

"okay, i accept your apology. but i'm not sorry because i haven't done anything wrong. and i'm gonna have to get this off my chest cause if i don't say it now, it's just gonna grow and rot in me." you say, stretching out your hand for him to hold. hannie slips his palm in yours and there's a little squeeze from both of you before letting go.

"okay, i'm gonna listen what you have to say and i'm sure i'll have things to say after, but i'm gonna listen to you first." he says, reassuring you.

"thank you. i hope you know that i was just trying to be of help and not a bother. you snapping at me was unnecessary, which you know by now and it scared me han. for a moment, you were an angry stranger to me and it made me so angry too. why? because i don't deserve to be treated like this han, you know how hard life has been and still is for me." you pause, taking a deep breath as you feel tears welling up your eyes. but one look at hannie and you know he's making space for your anger, willing for you to continue.

shit, you really do love him.

"i understand how mentally and physically exhausting things have been for the past week or so. i understand so much han, i really do. but that does not give you any leverage to be rude or angry at me. regardless of the terrible things i deal with in my life, i'm really trying to be positive towards our relationship and this unconsciously might've broken a part of me. maybe i'm being dramatic but my feelings are big and valid. i love you but we'll need to work on this at our own pace, yeah? what do you think?" you finish, catching a breath that you didn't realise was held.

jeonghan takes a deep breath, before he begins. taking one look at you, he fidgets with his phone and tries to talk cause he has to start somewhere.

"firstly, i am really sorry love. i wanna let you know that i regret my actions and shouldn't have behaved that way towards you. it's just been really hard for me to go into a break from being so packed with schedules. i don't think i've rested at all since i started working and it's just a lot. it's a lot because i now am realising the importance of rest and that solely is beyond overwhelming. but now that i'm here, i want to make the best of it and spend as much time as i can with the people i love. again, i can't think of anything other than apologising because you don't deserve that. i have no right to be treating you that way when you've put your complete trust and love in me. i'm so sorry again love, i want to work on this. i'm not sure how but i wanna work on us, with you. i love you." he finishes, letting out a loud sob. you hold yourself back from going and holding him cause he needs this more than anything else.

instead you move next to him, taking one of his hands in yours. hannie turns to look at you and lays his head on your shoulder, not caring about drenching your shirt. you gently caress his hand as he calms down and give him some water to hydrate. disconnecting from your hand, he drinks the water and wipes his face but intertwines your arm in both of his the moment he's done. there's a moment of stillness felt, as he leans onto your shoulder, nuzzling further into your neck. you haven't felt this feeling ever and just being present makes you realise that there is always space to be wrong and learn in love. not sure if it's the same with everyone else, but you know for sure it is with jeonghan.

[ethereal-multiplicity]

I haven't talked to Loki in months... and I kinda abandoned him because of depression (not kinda, I yelled at him to fuck off and haven't talked since)

I wanna get back into working with him, and I think he's been reaching out.

But first, I need to vent about him. I think one reason I got angry and protective over myself is because my toxic ex tried to gaslight me that Loki was dangerous...

They asked me why I was working with him... I said for trauma healing, telling them what a wonderful deity Loki was to be around. Loki is so fun and comforting.

They proceeded to tell me that Loki was dangerous, he killed another god, every god hated him, etc.

And like. That shit offended me to my core. That ex was a skeptic who only worshipped a specific Norse God, and they have the audacity to tell me that I am in danger because I worked with Loki.

I told them that more commonly worshipped gods have done more fucked up stuff than what Loki has ever done. Just look at the Greek Gods, shits a mess.

I also told them that the stories of the gods hating Loki happened after Christianity got ahold of him. The gods trusted Loki, they went to him for unconventional solutions when their plans failed. Loki is a good man, he had the imagination to think outside the box, and that's why the gods loved him until Christianity started infiltrating Norse Mythology and turned Loki into a hated, comic relief "character", who everyone despised. They made him akin to the Devil for easier conversion.

I also explained to them that Mythology is exactly that. A myth. Humans made these stories up to better understand their gods.

Either way, we had a long "playful fight" and at the end they were basically telling me whatever, just don't worship him.

And I think that conversation stuck with me. Even long after we broke up and I found out they are a manipulative bastard who is probably gonna be a sex offender in a couple years, I still had that underlying belief that, maybe I was unsafe with Loki. After all I went to a emergency psych ward for a 24 hour hold after letting him destroy what he saw fit in my life.

So anyway, this post is an explanation and apology to Loki. I am sorry for yelling at you and thinking that I was unsafe around you. I'm sorry that I let myself take advice from a skeptic who has never had any sort of divine relationship.

And I know everything you ruined was for the best. You caused as many fights between me and my family, so I would go to the psych ward and have a spiritual awakening. You made them almost abandon me so they could get smacked in the face with self reflection and I would be free.

You saved my life. I am not overexaggerating, you and Lord Lucifer are the reason I am still alive. Your the only masculine deities that I truly view as my parental figures.

You are amazing Loki, please continue teaching me how to sparkle ✨️❤️🐎

[sylvaridreams]

I'm going to try and word this better than I did at 1 am venting on cohost last night, and maybe slightly gentler. I haven't finished the SotO update from yesterday. I got home, played for a couple of hours, did some meta on the current map, triiiiied to get myself to go back to story... and I couldn't.

I was BORED. It was quite honestly boring. Any dialogue that matters is Peitha talking to her people. I am a stage prop that occasionally vocalizes expositional questions and fires arrows at grunt mobs.

I could physically feel myself losing any remaining interest in the story as I clicked "what does this mean? What do you think of Peitha's plan?" type questions (which offer a poor illusion of choice in conversation. Look! Dialogue options! You can click all of these in any order you like but you must click them all!)

Why should I care about this story? I'm being brought along as the muscle that Peitha doesn't really need. I'm not offering anything special I'm terms of skill. I'm not an invaluable resource. I'm not even being utilized as the leader that gw2 has ALWAYS made me! It's always been "You're out there leading the armies, commanding all the way from the front line to the supply chains!" Now I'm just kind of around. Run a few events and come back. Characters refer to me and I apparently have no in-game response. MY CHARACTER doesn't seem invested.

And so many new characters. Every drop, it's like, have a bunch more named people! I was learning names during drop 1, and know some of the Wizards off the top of my head, but honestly I’m not bothering anymore. Why should I? Even if Nexus isn't killed off in the next chapter I play, I'm never going to meet this character again after he stops serving the story.

And where IS the story? Where is the meat? Drop 1 was at least interesting to me. Secret society hiding demons from the Commander. Getting sucked into this strange and horrifying place. Getting the life beat out of Alba by a hulking, terrifying demon and crawling away in fear. Escaping into the arms of strangers and getting this unknown voice in Alba's head, talking to him, saying what he wanted to hear, teasing him. Him refusing to tell anyone she was in there, because he *trusted this unknown voice in his head over all these strangers.* The story lulled a lot and it wasn't like... prime gw2 content. But it had a few hooks. When in Amnytas, Alba GASPED "Peitha!" right outside of the next story step and said "I can *see* you," and I turned my camera and saw what I knew, what Alba had to have suspected, confirmed. That there was a demon using his mind as a lounge. THAT was a moment, it was SOMETHING!

At least it was fun at points, at least there was some small amount of intrigue and mystery. And from there it was all just, "take a backseat, Wayfinder. This isn't YOUR story." I'm getting nothingburger bites out of each new story drop. Oh we went into Nayos to take the fight to them and killed Peitha's model reskin cousin. Anything else that drop? Anything? No but next time we recruited some general to fight with us! Can I get a smidgen of story? Something to hang onto? The only thing this drop that hasn't been "Don't care didn't ask plus I've seen your character model elsewhere" was Alba being called "that ugly creature" by a kryptis.

That's all I've got. I'm not enjoying it. I don't like SotO. And it is not for lack of trying it, it's not because i just don't like change and don't wanna see something new and different! This expansion feels like an empty parody of Guild Wars 2, and it feels like a slap in the face to anyone who was invested in Tyria. Pre-release they really hyped up that "It's time for new places and new people! We're gonna get a new cast and explore a vast new world!" I CARED about that world, which we still had SO MUCH left to explore. Are the borders of the map even the ends of the world of Tyria or does it keep going? Who cares. There's shit going on above the clouds. I cared about those CHARACTERS. Does Alba get to see people that he loves and cares about ever again? Is he making it to the wedding? Does he get a chance to go home and see anyone? Like yes we are not chained up in the Tower between instances, we can still play the game in those old maps, but the characters have been written out of the story.

And frankly these new ones are shitty replacements. I don't care about these people. I maybe had some small amount of "OK cool its Zojja I know her!" but it's not like I had any deep care or feeling for her. Not personally. Peitha was interesting at first but being brought along as part of her nameless, faceless grunt entourage has made me lose a lot of interest. She's not going to be a core character post-SotO. She either dies at the end, or takes over as King, and at best becomes a very occasional callback. "Ah, King Peitha! It's been some time, how is Nayos!" She's not going to reclaim the throne and then ignore rebuilding her people's infrastructure to hang out in Commander’s brain all day or join them on quests. We are a temporary ally and a stepping stone for her story.

Which sucks.

In terms of the rest of the SotO cast, it again feels like a pale imitation of prior Gw2 content. Like they're saying "remember season 1, meeting all those people one by one who would become your best friends and allies in life? 🤔 " and then they didn't even do it that way. Season 1 was a gradual introduction to these characters that you were given time, story, and Reason to care about. If Braham, Rox, Marjory, Kasmeer, Taimi, Rytlock, and Canach had all shown up and said "oh we're the Best Friends Patrol. Come along with us stranger!" I would have felt like a tag along. Not an equal in the group. Instead we met on level ground. We became a team together, we became friends together, each of us a vital part.

Which is opposite to how it feels now. These characters have deep history going back AGES. I just showed up, no one respects me, I'm not privy to any information or details on who is who and why should I care, I don't Get story time to ACTUALLY hang out and meet these people and develop my OWN relationships with them. When I leave, they will not care. I'm just being brought along like a lost kid at this point, until we reach customer service and they can drop me off, or until I wander away and find another deep group to follow.

I don't like this story. I don't like the setting. I don't like the characters or the group dynamic. I don't feel like an EQUAL in this expansion, I don't feel like I matter. Anyone could stand here and ask supporting questions to drive the dialogue between the 2-3 characters that actually matter, which again, does not include me.

And FRANKLY I hate that no one can say anything that isn't glowing praise of GW2 and Anet and every little detail is just scrumptious don't worry I love it, without a bunch of vague posts filtering in about "so much Negativity, everyone is a HATER, you just don't support The Writers and want them to FAIL, well then stop playing the game and delete your account and blog and go away forever, REAL fans LOVE nothingburger" to shun whoever dared say "I didn't like some or all of it." I'm happy for you if you're liking SotO but I am not. I'm sorry if you don't understand that criticizing something that I've played for a decade doesn't mean I hate it. I'm sorry if you can't take the MILD CONFLICT of me or someone else saying "I love this thing that you love too but I don't like how the new part feels" but most of us learned about conflict in kindergarten or at least through children's picture books and TV, so idk. Maybe you just need to cope at that point.

As it stands I don't like the expac. I don't see Anet turning it around and blowing my mind with the ending. And I really don't even care how it ends. I was asked the other day "how are you going to handle Peitha?" (in terms of the canon that I write, which has already moved past the end of SotO.) And frankly I was like. I dunno. It doesn't matter to me. She's either dead or on the throne, I don't care much either way. We could get the huge plot twist at the end that Peitha was the big bad or Isgarren or WHOEVER THE FUCK, and I wouldn't care. None of this matters to me. I'm going back to Tyria with my writing. The rest is filler.

[stellawolfearts]

Hey, I found something in Investiture of the gods that i connected to the S5 trailer. If you are avoiding the trailer for spoilers reasons then feel free to ignore this post. otherwise if you wanna see my Nezha theory just click the read more button :3

Okay...so im making a post about why i dont like Li Jing personally and why I am exited to see him in LMK because of the severe tension between him and nezha due to thier history. and i noticed something while reading through the chapter of Investiture of the gods where Nezha tries to kill Li Jing. Taken from Chapter 14 - Reincarnation with Lotus Flowers

Running up to the man and hiding behind him, Nezha arrived shortly and explained the situation to this man, determined to vent his hatred. Giving in to Nezha's furiousness, the man spat on Li Jing and then clapped his hand to the former's back. As Li Jing was ordered by this man to fight back Nezha with little other choice, Nezha soon realized that his father's strength was far greater than originally — and thus the man standing at the pine tree must be none other than a Taoist who was a master at the enhancement arts. Realizing that if he effectively destroyed the Taoist, his father's strength would not be surpassing his own, Nezha lunged forward and slashed his lance into the latter's forehead. As a lotus flower appeared before the his face to negate Nezha's blow, the Taoist angrily unleashed forth his great golden pagoda from the heavens to trap the former within as punishment. Clapping his hands to additionally signal a great fire to rage within the pagoda, Nezha had no choice but to beg for mercy and declare his acknowledgement to his father — thus seizing the chance of being set free. Realizing that he possessed not a single burn from the Taoist's great fire, Nezha deduced the former's ability to be none other than Genjutsu. Threatening to burn Nezha further in his pagoda if he did not kowtow to his father with needed respect, the former had no choice but to do so in a rageful state. As the Taoist thus declared to Li Jing that he would teach him the burning pagoda art as a resistance against Nezha's potential future assaults, Nezha dismissed it first — and thus quickly rode back to Qianyuan Mountain in disappointment over his sullied vengeance. Now declaring his name to be Burning Lamp of Mount Divine Hawk, the former told Li Jing to forget about fame and riches under the Shang Dynasty and to live as hermit in the neighboring mountain valleys until the preordained assault upon the dynasty comes his way; at that time he should assist King Wu in the campaign.

and what do we see Li Jing with in the S5 trailer?

T H I S

Now i don't think this is the same exact type of pagoda, with it being a kids show I dont think he's gonna threaten to burn them alive forever with no chance of death cause the fire doesnt cause any real harm it just makes you experience the pain of burning alive.

BUT

He does try to suck them in.

I think he's also threatening Nezha with this pagoda. or another one? idk.

But i just- can't help but feel like there's a correlation between Li Jing and his Pagoda in LMK and that part of his mythology.

[crappy-tsbs-confession-blog]

Some dumbass (who I'm not allowed to name for legal reasons, but let's just say his name starts with a ☀️) decided to make one of these shitty little confession blogs. Whoo-hoo good for fuck-all him and their happy little family.

Well, some other lovely striped individual decided that would be a "great idea" and help us "connect with the community". Unfortunately, other's on the staff agreed and so now I'm here to make sure they don't burn this to the ground. Can't trust those idiots as far as I can throw them.

I don't wanna be here any more than you want me to be here. I don't care. I'm here now, this is supposed to be "good for revenue" or some stupid thing like that, and stars knows we could use the publicity. So let's set up some ground rules so everyone plays nice.

The Rules

No name-dropping. No vaguing. No harassment.

You can vent about discourse, but if I don't like the vibe you're giving I'm gonna call bullshit. "Treat people the way you want to be treated" or some shit.

I am under no contract to keep my opinion to myself.

Harassment in reblogs/comments/etc will be screenshotted and then you'll be blocked. Don't do it.

Don't claim something is canon if it isn't. And vice versa. Don't claim something that's canon is "just someone's headcanon"

I'm not gonna entertain any bullshit behavior, if you're gonna be here I expect you to act like an adult.

You can send asks about myself, I don't really care, but keep in mind that I am not the same Eclipse from your silly little show. Even if there are similarities we are from two different dimensions. Do not assume you know me personally just because you know him.

Ships and characters will be tagged appropriately.

#tsbs confessional - confessions #shitting in the playground - character and ship hate #prying eyes - asks about myself #plex things - posts about the plex and such

Lore Archives

Connections: Lunar, Sunrise, Nexus, Moon, Ruin, Solar, Earth, Solar Flare, Miku, Solstice, Nebula, Killcode, Puppet, Bloodmoon

[cottondo]

Hey babes! First of all, let me just say that I ADORE your writing <3333 I can tell you have a lot of passion for what you do!

If it’s alright with you, I’d like to request a Blitzø x fem! reader story. Preferably how he navigates a shy, sweet imp. I was thinking that they could have been childhood friends or something like that. Whatever you decide to do I’ll read (and love) it <3333

Thank you so much!!

aahww thank you sm lovebug🥹💞 I appreciate the kindness !

also,, really hope I got your request right?? I lowkey wasn’t exactly sure on what you wanted LMAO but I hope you like it regardless <3

Blitzo x fem! imp reader | navigate

The sound of your breath in a humid environment was all you could really focus on. Or, more so, trying to control it.

Blitzo insisted taking you on some stupid 'adventure', —if thats what he called it— and of course, it turned into a mission.

Why the hell wouldn't it! You didn't expect much less from him.

You particularly didn't care much for his mission work. Sure, okay, it seemed kinda cool sometimes- - but the,, almost double-dying part, was intimidating as fuck.

Keeping all your limbs attached to your body was really your biggest goal living down in Hell. It was easy enough to end up getting stabbed, maybe break a horn or two, or even end up in a shitty situation with some demon lords that rule rings trying to chase you down. Especially as an imp!

Maybe it was because you actually valued your death-life, and Blitz,, .. just didnt? But, regardless, you didn't wanna be here, doing this today.

A heavy hand rests on your shoulder abruptly, causing a small flinch to react from your figure.

Blitz leans in close, a crazy little smirky smile on his face. If the space between you got any smaller, you thought your oxygen levels would've been completely cut.

He managed to drag you into some hide out, a gun in his hand, army crawl position beside you in a long vent you two crawled inside of together. Shoulders harshly bumping against each other's to prover just how little space there actually was inside.

It was hot in here, and he was hotter, which only added to the uneasiness you felt in your chest.

"Don't tell me you're bitchin' out on me, y/n." He whispers to you, eyes focusing on your nerves. Blitz knew you better than just about anyone. And to be fair, he should. You two have been friends since childhood, so nothing goes unseen around him.

Your frown lightens, vision trailing to look back at him. "Nooo? I'm totally fine," you flash a cheesy smile back.

Blitzo's eyes roll, "Yea- ok, I'm teaching you combat, whether you like it or not, bitch. If youre gonna be working with us, you can't just sit around at the desk looking all cute and shit, everyday." He reminds you, "I need you to learn how to be more assertive!"

He thought you were cute? Ayee, score for you.

Your lips curl into a smirk over at him.

"As cute as I am, I can still be assertive." Now it was your turn to remind him.

It didnt look like he believed that statement. Actually, you knew he didnt.

"What happens when some dick fucker tries being an asshole to you? Pulls out a gun? One day I'm not gonna be able to get there quick enough to save your sorry ass." He frowns, some annoyance clear in his tone.

Your eyes widen, and your lips sound a gasp as you face him. "Oh my god- - is that the sound of you caring about someone other than yourself~?" You tease sarcastically, eyelids lowering casually again. Blitz turns away with a scoff.

"I didn't know that was even possible," you add onto the teasing, obviously getting some sort of rise out of him.

"Listen!" He narrows his vision. "Oka- you know damn well that I—"

His words get cut off. The sound of a door opening, and footsteps entering the room catch both of your attentions. You flinch when the door slams shut behind the figure. It was a short demon. Big horns, and an even bigger snout. He sort of looked like a dead pig. You cringe.

"Oh, fuck." Blitz smirks, raising up his gun. "This is too easy. You comin' or what?" His shoulder nudges yours. You give a dull look in reply. "Do I have a choice?"

"No, you don't." He smirks over his shoulder at you.

You follow close behind his army crawl towards the end of the vent. It wasn't far away at all, just totally felt uncomfortable being on your hands and knees in such a small space for so long.

Blitz quickly kicks out the vent door, and jumps down to the floor with his gun tightly in hand. Your eyes watch his figure as he lands perfectly in the room, alerting the demon who was on Blitz' kill list.

Damn.

It was kind of crazy how good his combat is. You know he has a lot of practice- - which does make you slightly worry from time to time about just how much trouble this job really gets him into. (And how much more it'll get you into if he continues to drag you along for the ride.)

With a small push, you slip yourself out of the vent, and land on two feet with a practiced swiftness. You've gotten enough rehearsal time to do small, crafty things, but you weren't perfect- - nothing like how Blitz was, anyway.

But at least you still looked good doing it.

The listed demon looks quickly between the both of you, Blitz ready with a crazed grin on his face while holding the gun, and you, with your knife strapped to your side, looking nothing as intimidating.

"Y/N! Grab him!" Blitz commands from you.

You hesitate for a second, "Blitz, do we really hav—"

"Cmon!" Blitz tosses his head back and groans, quickly rebounding and aiming the gun to the guys head before he got any bright ideas. "Lets dance, bitch!"

The demon, though all three of you were trapped in a very small room, does his absolute best to dodge each and every bullet. For a porky lookin dude, he was quick on his hooves. He managed to miss most if not all, bullets aimed his way.

You lunge forward, and tackle him to the ground like a tiger pouncing its prey. Blitz cheers you on, fist pumped up in the air as he watches with excitement down at you. "Thats what im talkin about, y/n! Now tie his ass up, we gotta use him as bait for the rest of them."

"The rest of them?" You glare in question.

His hand tosses you down a rope, which you had no idea where he kept it hidden all this time, but look up to Blitz anyway, as you struggled a little, straddling to keep the demon down beneath you.

Your hands desperately grab the rope, and you begin tying. Blitz insisted no helping, as this was his way of teaching you proper ways to hustle- - but you'd gladly accept it if he offered any.

First, you wrap up the struggling mans hands, then, you move down to his kicking feet. He managed to give your shoulder a good hit with his foot, but that only resulted in Blitz raising his own foot, and forcefully bringing the tip of his boot into the guys side. The demon lets out a groan.

"Damn, what the hell, asshole." You glare down at the demon who only glares back up at you through his groans. Your hands take the bandana from around his neck, and retie it around his mouth to prevent any sounds coming out of him.

"Great, now lets get the fuck out of here!" Blitz grins, picking up the hostage and throwing him over his shoulder with a small struggle. You follow along close behind, eyes checking both sides of you with some slight paranoia. It already came to the point in the day where you were very much over this job. Why the fuck couldn't you guys have just stayed in the circus business?

"Y/N! Take out those assholes up on the catwalks!" Blitz points to a few more demons that were going to be next on your list for the day.

While the two of you ran for the far exit, your eyes follow up to where Blitz was looking.

You spot them. "Got it!" Your voice beams, and pulling out your gun, you aim for the straps that kept the walk attached to the ceiling. One shot, you took the one side of the catwalks down, which results in the demons falling and tumbling down to the floor of the warehouse.

"Fuck yeah!" Blitz laughs as he uses the tied hostage as a punching bag for other demons that try to stop the two of you. He swings the hostage demon around, using him as his own personal weapon, causing some slight laughter out of you, to which both you and blitz were surprised about.

The demons you caused to fall, start charging your way. With a quick thought, you take out the knife strapped to your side, and get ready to use it. Blitz grins over at you. "Remember to aim for the neck!" He calls out from ahead of you.

Your smile brightens at the teamwork you both have. "Thanks!"

A hand reaches for you, but with a stealthy slide to the side, you duck under the arms and push the torso of a demon down to the ground.

This was getting . . oddly easy.

You hop over the demon on the floor, and smile brightly over at Blitz.

With you catching up to his side, your lips stretch into a grin as you open the door to the warehouse for him. “Did you see?” Your question was almost eager sounding. Breaking out of the shyness of the situation, you’ve actually gained a bit more combat knowledge.

Blitz grins over at you, throwing the hostage to the ground as the both of you make it out, and find a safer area to catch your breaths.

“Hell yeah bitch!” Blitz looked so happy, giddy, even. It was so freaking cute.

“I knew teaching you my way would pay off.” He crosses his arms, a soft smirk on his face.

Your face flushed lightly, the shyness beginning to take over just a bit. Your shoulders shrug upward, and the smile on your face was light. “Thanks,”

“I’m proud of you.” Blitz’s voice is quieter than his usual loud and obnoxious form, but you still catch it. Your eyes widen a bit, and staring at him in a small shock is all you could do for a second. “Really?”

Blitz looks flustered, so you decide to let any teasing go. It wasn’t often he would give real compliments. Even if he did know you long enough, to.

“Of course, fuck face.” He replies, rolling his eyes with a smile still stuck to his face.

You bump his shoulder, grinning just a little harder than before. “Learned from the best.”

______________________

really sorry its not my best work,, just allot goin on in life rn but I still hope you liked it anyway ! <3

[blushblushbear]

How would Nimh, Volks, and Eli comfortable their partner? Say like they've had a very bad day, or they've been hurt emotionally, and they're just sitting on the couch, or laying on their bed crying.

🎵So ya had a bad day!~🎵

Nimh

brings you tea and cookies

wraps you in a big blanket

builds a nest of pillows around you

asks if you wanna talk about it

cuddles you, either as you vent or as you sit there quietly trying to shake off your shit day

either way you're gonna get so many bunny kisses

also he may read to you if you want

or you can watch a chill movie

Volks

also brings you food

probably a snack he knows you like

and a drink

comes up to you and hands them to you

then sits there awkwardly as he tries to find helpful words

he's not good at that

but he is good at listening

wanna--- talk about it??

if not

do you.... do you want to cuddle??

or I could leave you a lone too if you want space

that's fine too

just know I'm like--- here for you

and junk

I'm not good at this

But I am here for you, I promise

Eli

tells you to hold wait right there

comes back with either a bottle of wine or a bottle of sparkling cider and two glasses

sits you down

hands you a glass

fills it

okay

DISH

is on your side no matter what

well-- okay maybe not no matter what but more than likely it's their fault

whoever it is that's not you

yeah, this is on them

He's not a simp, he just knows when to call a bitch a bitch

and they're a bitch

you're perfect

and also right

and don't let this bore of a bitch ruin your night

speaking of

want another glass?? ;)

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 7

Listen, I didn't know how badly I wanted Mew/Ray until there was a legit chance of Mew/Ray and now IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Another killer episode as all the shit gets laid bare, Nick and Sand cement their bond over being pathetic simps for men who do not love them, Top sits in the loser feeling and DOES NOT LIKE IT and...OH YEAH MEW AND RAY ARE DATING NOW I GUESS. Last week Top ran away with the audience poll as I learned the valuable lesson that y'all actually pay attention to the poll question and I should probably think about it a bit more...lol. Here's my rankings for this week

🔹1. Ray (1)

It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what. It’s all up to you whether you want to open your heart to me.

I almost gave it to Mew because FUCKING EPIC but Ray actually got everything he ever wanted by the end of this episode: Mew has decided to give him a chance, even if it's as a rebound. And y'all, I am INTO IT. They're never gonna have sex, obvi, because Mew high key isn't interested and Ray is #1 simp so dumb obsessed he'll never push it, but I'm still enjoying the flavour. Besides, when Ray gets horny or needs actual affection, he'll just call Sand anyway...OOP. So yeah, Ray wins the week.

🔺2. Mew (3)

I stopped being a good guy. I got no shit from that. To deal with nasty people, I must be as nasty as them.

Wasn't it fascinating that when it was time to break bad Mew a) looked to Ray for style inspo, b) decided to let Ray sniff it one time and c) is leaning into the Ray Life? I wanna dissect Mew like a lab specimen. He's like 'I'm gonna be shitty too' and then just...becomes Ray. Then he Boston-style mansplains manipulates manwhores his way into possessing Boston's sex tape. And THEN in what has to be a 100% Mew move (because neither Ray nor Boston would EVER) threatens to out Boston to his dad, but then Uno reverses it like OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU. And he looked like he REALLY fucking enjoyed that vantage point from the moral high ground. He really looks down on those friends of his huh. And his destiny for always having to 'win' his friendships and relationships is being betrayed and cheated on...don't @ me it's canon. I WANT TO STUDY MEW SO BAD, because from one angle he looks righteous and from another he looks like the living fucking worst. Amy Elliot-Dunne, here's looking at you kid.

🔺3. Boston (6)

Okay. I’m here to get yelled at. Yell at me all you want. Get it over with. Come on. I don’t expect it to be over. I just want you to vent. Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was unintentional. It was so nice of me to introduce Mew to something new. I just borrowed him for a bit. What’s a big deal? Let’s be honest here. Without my help, there was no way Mew got his hands on a top-tier like that.

Boston sashaying into the hostel totally unrepentant is a top 5 Only Friends MOMENT and I LIVED for it. He decided the 'brazen' part of 'brazen slut' was the part to lean into and honestly, as one of the few people this ep actually owning their shit I respected the hell out of that. YEAH I FUCKED HIM, I FUCKED HIM BEFORE YOU DID, AND I FUCKED HIM AGAIN AND SO WHAT? In Boston's mind, everybody wins here: Ray wins, because Mew is single again, Mew wins because he knows Top's an untrustworthy cheater, and he wins because he wanted to fuck Top and he fucked Top. Everybody wins, let's just move on. I love the simplicity of Boston's worldview, and how internally consistent and oddly pure it is. He has the morals of an alley cat, but he never LIES. He'll manipulate, but he never actually deceives. In some ways you can trust him absolutely, he's unwavering. Fascinating.

🔹4. Nick (4)

I love him. He doesn’t have to care about me. I don’t have to be his number one. But he must not hate me. Do you get it?

Man, Nick and Sand were almost tied because equally pathetic this week, but at least Nick got a teensy bit of a kick in by telling Mew about the sex tape. Also interesting how he didn't rat Sand out to Boston despite Sand clearly not thinking or really caring about how sharing the audio clip would blow back on Nick. Nick's a creep, but he has a little bit of a code. Do I feel sorry for him, no I don't, but maybe a teeny tiny bit.

🔻5. Sand (2)

I’m your emergency staff anyway. I’ve always been since the first day we met.

I cannot believe that in episode 7 of Only Friends we got a scene where Sand and Nick hug each other and cry together over how pathetically they simp for shitty men who will never love them. WHOMST is doing it like Jojo n'em, I ask you? THAT MAN CALLED YOU A WHORE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and then did it again while flinging you to the ground and in return you rescued him from a car crash, fed, bathed and shaved him. Sand has a degradation kink, that's the only thing that makes sense here I swear, because how can one human be down THIS atrocious? I wanna see how low he can go, and I also wanna see if we're getting that baseball bat and WHOM FOR. All the things I wished for Nick before the show aired, I now wish for Sand. Boil that bunny baby.

🔺6. Top (7)

I will make you fall in love with me again.

Top really stunned that he's lost. Look, I know my read on Top isn't the consensus read on Top, and yeah maybe I'm wrong, but to me this is only incidentally about Mew, because for Top Mew is a means of self-actualization. Getting Mew to be his boyfriend was awesome, because it means TOP is awesome. Losing Mew over a rookie fucking mistake is a tragedy because it means Top is a loser. Getting Mew back would reaffirm Top's awesomeness to himself. TOP LOVES THE IDEA OF MEW, NOT MEW. I wish I could show you guys the parade of Tops that my peeps and I have met in life so you could understand why I cannot stand this man and want to see him in ruins. But yeah, he's on the rise, because Mew is totally gonna take him back after his disaster run with Ray.

🔺7. Gap (8)

That look you gave. Was it intended to lure me to come after you?

Drake is back yet again, my favourite guest star. They totally cheated by not letting Gap and Mew actually touch lips, although that's probably character accurate. But Mew gets somebody else to look down on and feel morally superior to, and that's his version of an orgasm so Gap totally got SPIRITUALLY laid.

🔻8. Cheum (5)

I was rooting for Top. I thought he was a good guy.

At least she's keeping the group project afloat so they don't fail this damn class, but literally NOBODY ELSE thought Top was a good guy, NOT EVEN MEW. Jesus fix it girl.

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[piss-stained-jorts]

RIGHT

-claps hands-

some of you are new to this despair. it ain't fun. as someone who is no stranger to hopelessness, despair, fatalism, misanthropy, and an undying bitterness, I'll give it a go trying to offer some semblance of help. my soul has been a strange kind of melancholy for over 15 years. I experience a few seconds of true happiness once every few months. and yet, here I stand. I think it'd be better if the whole world burned, but I ain't holding a match. point is, it's entirely possible to keep going, even in this state.

even in saying this, I have my doubts it'll do anything positive at all. I'm doing it anyway. I do it with the same defeatism I experience when I go to vote in a deep South red state. a single drop of blue dye in a sea of red blood. I know, objectively, that nothing will come of my actions. I do it anyway. for selfish reasons, I do it anyway.

I'm not here to help you out of it. I'm gonna offer some advice on living on inside it. I don't know how to get out of it yet, either. I'm working on that. again, maybe it helps, maybe it does nothing. here we go.

I recommend booking a therapy appointment. this is my biggest, most helpful advice TBH. I didn't go for a long time. didn't think i could afford it. turns out, there's secret little things in the world to help you afford it. me, I went to healthcare.gov, found some cheap ass insurance, and now I'm in therapy for severe mental health issues. I'm getting a second therapist, too. there's some deeeeep rooted shit in me. there's very likely deep rooted shit in you, too, and it's a great time to find someone who can help dig it out. ain't a cure all, and you'll have to see it as a conversation instead of someone coming and fixing you. they aren't a knight in shining armor with all the answers, but two heads are better than one.

I also recommend poetry. not just reading it, but writing it. the angrier and sadder the better. every raw, honest feeling. do not judge whatever comes out. don't worry about structure. don't worry about making it readable. make vent art, too.

I recommend familiar, comforting foods. things that remind you of those pockets in time when you were warm and safe. old foods, old games, old imaginary friends. yes, the imaginary friend thing extends to grown ups. a positive voice that is only ever kind and loving to you, no matter what. it's your own voice echoed back, after all.

I recommend caring about people. it helps to keep you in this world if you have someone else in it you love so, so fucking much.

I recommend bitching. bitch about your feelings and the world and the state of things with someone who also wants to bitch.

I recommend sad, angry, bitter, hopeless songs, under the caveat that it won't make you want to kill yourself. if listening to sad music makes you wanna die more, do not do this. me, I find songs about dying and being miserable comforting because I feel seen and understood in a way I feel I have been failed. maybe that's not how your brain works, though. just be safe and don't die.

under no circumstances kill yourself. you don't want to die. your brain is coping and trying to take back a sense of control when you feel powerless, and that's the solution it can think of because it's straightforward. do not do this.

if a sense of hope does come, don't push it away. if it leaves quickly, breathe and enjoy the few seconds you have with it. don't berate yourself if you don't feel the way you "should." there is no should or should not with emotions or the lack of them.

I recommend finding something to do, or something to put off. me, I keep saying I'll write a book, make a game, do all sorts of things. maybe I will, maybe I won't. it's something to do or say I'll do in the future. a sense of purpose. even if I never do it, it's still there.

learn to see the worth in both the retching pain and the numbness. when I am overcome with despair and anguish, I find the worth in that I'm still able to care that much, that I have a consistent muse for my work, and that crying is cathartic. when I'm numb, I find worth in the cool, calm gray color that mutes my existence, and the lack of pain makes the boredom a welcome respite. it still blows, and I'd trade it for joy and hope any day of the week, but the joy machine doesn't work anymore. working on that one.

listen. listen. I don't know what the fuck the future holds. pithy statements of hope don't help me, so I won't give them to you. be there for your friends, be there for yourself, give space to your feelings. I know. I know these new feelings are scary. you've never felt them like this before. you're new to this, I know you are. I promise you, you can keep living. I promise you, it's possible to find little joys, even here in the nightmare. I know the feeling of drowning in the ocean with hardly a sail to keep you is scary. I know from lived experience that it's possible for it to become bearable. I still believe, though I'm not there yet, that it's possible to leave this dark forest. I am bitter and resentful and I feel cheated and I don't think feeling any of this makes anyone a bad person.

it hurts so much, I know. I know it hurts. I know words can't make it all better. this world we live in is not what it should be. you are so cherished.