#i genuinely have no idea what the best way of aproaching this is

[wren-kitchens]

kinda venty/rant thing in tags cause im embarassed by it and dont wanna put it in a post HDJSK

[hyung-line-wife]

Jin Imagine: Comforting Him

So, guys, this is a imagine that I wrote when a learned about the departure of Jjangu a few weeks ago. I really loved Jjangu, and I wished I could have been there conforting Jin after his loss, I know that loosing your companion after having him for years can be quite tough. This is a tribute for one of the most beautiful angels, Jjangu.

You just heard about it by Jin's mother.

It wasn't something that it could have passed through your right mind, when you first saw him on the broadcast, looking extremely down.

You had thought that maybe he had a fight with one of the members, or family. He could have lost a audition to an acting role, which was something that he really liked.

But not a the death of his beloved dog.

You took a shaky breath, embracing yourself onto your big, cozy sweater. You were siting on the cafe next to the parents house of Jin, unable to decide if it was a good idea to visit him, or leave him to have his own space. But, as much as it pained your heart, you had to finish first your mug of tea that you had ordered, as an excuse to settle your feelings, and not breaking in front of him, who was as you guessed already broken.

Jjanggu..

You had been his number one fan, since the first day you met him, giving him treats every time you saw him, walking him around the streets, and being his own personal photographer for the photos that Jin posted on their twitter account. He was the sweetest dog you had ever met, a dog that was to much alike like his owner, meaning that he also had an obsession with food. He was just the perfect kind of dog.

You could still rebember the sound of his claws tapping the wood floor when he firstly approached you on the day you met. Jin had brought you to his parent's house to eat a dinner that he had cooked, plus using it as an opportunity for you to met his parents, who wanted to met the girl that he was dating.

Your boyfriend had opened the door for you, welcoming you into the house he had grown up. The first smell that entered your nose was of apple and cinnamon ambient, which really made you realice the care that his mother put on keeping the house clean.

You had entered the house after receiving a gentle kiss on your lips from Jin, a kiss that expressed nervousness and gratitude for you attending to his invitation. As you stepped into the warm atmosphere, you heard the tapping of the nails of in the wood, approaching you.

Click, click, click.

The next thing you knew there was a white dog jumping at you, demanding to get petted. It was the fluffiest and most beautiful dog you had ever seen. It doesn’t mattered to you the fact that the dog could not have an exact pedigree, as it was all compensated by this amazing personality.

Later on the night you had learned that he was called Jjangu, and had accompanied your boyfriend for over ten years, since he had almost fifteen years old, that he had an addiction with food, same as his owner, and that he was in fact, just too cute to handle.

The way in which Jin talked about him... with that glint in his eyes... you hadn’t noticed it that day, the immense and genuine love that Jin had for his dog.

Now, at receiving that news, you could not imagine how could he be bearing with the news. You had to be there for him, you had to be his support, you had silently vowed to him the day you accepted to be his girlfriend, that you would be on his side always, on the bad and good days, always.

Your mug now was empty, and you knew what to do.

You rang he doorbell of his parents house for the second time. You didn’t expect him to be the one opening the door for you, as he probably was spaced out from the world, suffering.

You heard steps approaching the door, and then met with the grieving face of his mother. She was really beautiful, and you knew now where he had inherited all of this handsomeness.

“Y/N ah, he has been in his room since it happened.” She confessed to you with a preoccupied sigh. “We have tried all, but he won’t answer us. You have to do something”

You wished you could do something, but you were broken as him, the only thing was that you were hiding it, to be able to cure him.

“SeokJin?...” You called while entering slowly into his room, and gaping through the small peak of the door. He was curled up in his bed.

Not like he used to, normally, when he ate a lot. But like what he did when something happened to him. He didn’t even turned to you, as he heard you entering his room. He just kept lying there, his respiration being the only sound in the room.

“Jin.” You approached his bed, which was still covered with his old Mario Bros bead covers from his childhood. They were really soft at touch, softness that reminded you from his heart.

You sitted next to him, carefully to make any sound, or brusque movement, and places your hand on his shoulder. That’s when he finally answered to you.

His eyes were puffy, and seemed that they were staring at nothing, not mattering that they were staring right at you. Seeing this image of him, pained your heart terribly, as if it was getting clenched mercilessly. Without thinking of it, you brought him to your chest, protectively.

“It’s Okay, it’s okay” you whispered to him, carresing his hair lovingly, while he started sobbing in your arms, quietly. “You are not alone anymore, I’m here”

He usually did not show his emotional side to you, most of the time he acted childishly, combined with dad like manners. But now, as you looked into his buried head in your arms, you understood his heart.

He had just lost his dearest friend, his companion for adventures, the one that had been by his side on the roughest times of his life, passing throughout all of his teenage struggles. He had just lost a part of his life, and a space in his heart had been opened up.

You stayed like that for like seemed for hours, you lending your arms for his support, while he cried his heart out. Finally, he no longer cried, but remained static in the same position, breathing quietly.

“Baby.” He slowly lifted his head towards you, showing his eyes after all the time. His eyes were glassy and puffy, demonstrating all the time that he had cried. You sighted, not knowing what to say to him.

“I.. Baby..” Stupid, stupid. You didn’t knew what to say to him. A Everything is going to be alright?, or I understand your pain?. You had all of his attention on you right now, and anything that you could say to him right now could break the slight string that he had builded crying his heart out, the slight string that was keeping him from -

“Y/N.” His voice was hoarse, bringing you back to reality, back to his eyes looking right at you. “You don’t have to say anything, just having you at my side is enough for me.”

“But-“.

“Jjangu..” He gave a shaky sigh, and you saw his eyes fill with tears again, and immediately placed a hand on his cheek, to reassure him. He gave a half hearted smile, and reaccomodated himself with his back against the wall, now being face to face, with your legs touching.

“Jjangu was.. the best friend I could ever have. He was always by my side when I struggled feeling worthless.” He spoke with a lost stare, staring at the wall across him. “When I graduated, and was casted by Big Hit” . You grabbed his right hand, resting on his lap, it was so big, that it covered yours completely. “When I faced the first hardships of being an trainee, when I debuted.” Now a teat slided through his cheek, and you squeezed his hand in yours, seeing him that way pained you.

“He was always there for me when I arrived home at night, waiting for me with his tail wagging excitedly.” His voice had strange tones as he told you this, going from high pitches, to low. You knew that he was trying not to cry, as you had seen him do the same thing at the concert of Bangtan On Stage. “He never got resented at me you know?, sometimes I arrived mad at my house, and sended him away meanly, without any reason... hmm” He stopped talking and hummed trying to suppress the tears, looking at ceeling”

“He was the best dog I could ever wish for, I loved him with all my heart, and now he is gone.” He ended a strangled voice. You felt the loneliness in his voice, which saddened you terribly. You could no longer listen him.

“Jin.” He tienes slowly to you, while passing a hand through his wet eyes. “What are you going through is horrible, and anything that I could tell you right now is going to take away the pain, the only thing that can take it away is time. I just.. just want you to know that, I am here."

Jin looked at you witha pained expression, that mixed with love. He tightened the embrace that he had in your hand.

"I always wanted to tell you this," He started, giving you a small smile. "When I first met you, I you reminded me of Jjangu. I don't know why, maybe, the way both of you were extremely kind?, or the way in which you looked at me, with apreciation and as if I was the only thing that mattered in the moment I had your attention."

You had never known that yo looked at him in that way, but you understood why it was so important for him to be seen in that way. He had a really low self esteem, in the contrary of what he ussually portrayed, he was insecure as he had not that many fans, and he commonly felt untalented. Jjangu had made him feel as he was the only thing that mattered, being his owner the center of his world, and it had complimented the needs of his owner.

"Love," This time, you aproached him, lifting a hand to clean a wet path that a tear had left on the cheek of Jin. "I know I would never get to the level of closeness that you had with Jjangu, but I wish that you could see me as a companion, telling me all your worries, your happiness, and also letting me comfort you, maybe not in a talkative way, but just by being there and embracing you. I would never fill the hole that he left in you, but I could try."

At this, he inmediately hugged you close to his body, you felt the vibrations of his chest due to his sobs. You could not evitate him from crying, but you could be there for him when he did. Time would have to take it's part, as it was the only thing that could take his pain again, to be replaced by the memory of his dearest friend.