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Vastra-Haran, or Celestial Stripping (detail). Anonymous ~ 19th century. National Museum New Delhi • via Bibliothèque Infernale on FB

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Eugene von Bruenchenhein

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skdjfhgkjshdfhsdjsk I hate corporate America

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It's so bizarre to watch my now ex continue to exhibit unhealthy fixations. He's removed me as a follower on Instagram but he went from posting nearly nothing in our relationship to posting every day to his story and homepage.

What's his fixation? Sea turtle protection. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, I think it's amazing and cute he's thrown himself into a cause. He's collecting eggs and helping usher the babies back to the sea. However, I see how he's using such as an external distraction from the fact that he just blew up all the closest relationships he had in his life through violence, abuse and delusion. Men will literally do everything but get therapy.

I'm proud of myself though. Proud of the ways I feel so detached from it already. There really is no villain of this story. I recognize the ways of my past in wanting to be the victim by venting and confiding my side of the story with friends. I haven't felt this need anymore. I haven't felt much a need at all to go into detail with anyone. Very few of my friends even knew him which I feel makes this all a bit easier.

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FIDELIA BRIDGES

Milkweeds (1876)

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A two year relationship washed away in a heated moment, text sent via email, a flight moved up two weeks. I never imagined it could've ended so abruptly. I never imagined I'd feel so detached so quickly. How was I living past my boundaries for so long? With the partner who taught me all about where my no's are?

One day I was showing up and the next I was ready to flee. An experiment failed, but I don't see it so black and white. I made a leap of faith, maybe I was idealist. The universe gave me the same test twice but made it more dangerous the second go.

Poking me... asking, "will you learn, or do I have to send you the same relationship in a different font so you understand?"

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details by Roberto Ferri

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O let us live in joy, in Love amongst those who hate! Among those who hate, let us live in Love…

O let us live in joy, in health amongst those who are ill! Among those who are ill, let us live in health…

O let us live in joy, in peace amongst those who struggle! Among those who struggle, let us live in peace…

O let us live in joy, although having nothing! In joy let us live like Spirits of Light!… ~ Buddha

(The Dhammapada, third century B.C. -

chapter 15, Joy. . verse 197-200)

Art: Cannabis Fairy

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know that I’m always here for you Sammi, your last post has me worried for you and please know if you ever need anyone, just reach out. - the peacock that got you peonies :)

I am worried for myself too =(. I moved to Mexico with him and his ex wife and his 10 year old kid. We were talking about living in community together, making future plans. Then him and I got into a fight and didn't get the appropriate space to process and it blew into something enormous.

He wished a heart attack on me when his verbal abuse made me have a panic attack, he kicked me out of the house, he almost threw my laptop at me and called me a coward for wanting to return to the states after our fight, after seeing this side of him. After I left he tore into his son, broke glass, broke chairs, went on a rampage. His ex promised herself if she saw this version of him again they would never live together again, so he left and I am with his son and ex wife. I have been hitting my own resentments and boundaries around his kid and ex wife and have no intentions of living with them without my partner in the picture either.

I don't know where to go. I am not really making any money and my savings is dwindling. It would get exhausted much quicker if I return to the states right away, and/ but I could get a job in California pretty quick but I don't want to make poor decisions based off of fears around money.

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Nervous that the veil is lifting and the historically abusive and addiction riddled person I am in partnership with is relapsing.

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Jean Paul Gaultier spring/summer 1999

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Is it just me and my lack of consistency or does the internet feel more and more like a hollow void? It seems like competitive algorithms only showing content to non-followers and what once was a safe and easy place for your friends and followers to find you, is long gone now. It feels like this internet liminal space has widened like the length of a hallway in a nightmare, just deepening the space between actually connecting two humans to each other.

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La Nuit by Auguste Raynaud (1887)

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The colors of Mexico make my flower juicy.

OF: DivineDuality

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femalepentimento a portal for you to enter and absolve yourself of all guilt and uncertainty