#but i am sometimes so slow
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Continued from [x] with @fallesto
“So, that’s love for you…” – her eyes are sad; her voice is sad. She pities the most powerful man in the world who stands in front of her. Not that she really believes in the power of love. Not that she really believes love can change anyone or anything. But it’s still sad. She cannot fully explain why – “Pretty face, slim body, soft voice, long hair, and eyes… Has no-one ever been ready to offer you more?” – she is aware she’s like a piece of art to him. Frozen in time. But she also knows beauty is a curse. Beauty is terror. It overshadows everything else one might be.
She’s already used to him. To his long rants. To his vents that tells her more about his past than he’d ever be willing to tell her. In a way, they’re so similar. In a way, they’re so different. His words should insult her; the number that he throws at her face should offend her. But surprisingly it doesn’t. Deep inside he’s unhappy.
“I do wish good things happen to you, Regulus.” – her voice is soft and honest; a single tear rolling down her cheek. She knows that whatever she tells him, her so-called husband, would not understand – “I don’t think bad about you…I couldn’t anymore.” – even if you kidnapped and disrespected me – “ But I still want more. I want you…” – she reaches her hand towards his cheek and gently caresses it – “I want you to see more in me than all these things you consider love…”
She tilts her head. She knows he will not understand. She doesn’t lie to herself. She will not be able to change him. She is naïve, but not that naïve. But nothing can stop her from trying. Perhaps if she succeeds, it will give them freedom. And perhaps then, they’ll be able to choose each other again.
“I want to show you what I consider love. I want to teach you how to accept love…” – and to reciprocate it. – “I want you Regulus but on my own terms” -- she wanted that from day one. She’s patient. She can wait. And with him she has all the time she needs.
“You can kiss me.” – she states; not that she expects he would.
#regulus#nunnally#verse: tbd#fallesto#nun!#pitying the most powerful man might be dangerous#be careful there#another old one#but i am sometimes so slow#[ queue. ]
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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I feel like people don't often fully appreciate how hard dating can be for demisexuals.
It just hit me the other day when I found out that most people are kissing by the first date and having sex by the third and to me that is just wild. And apparently, some people wait up to three months before having sex and that's seen as like a really long time and I'm sorry but is everyone okay???
After three dates a person is still a stranger and after three months they're at most an acquaintance - and people are not willing to wait longer and you'll be seen as unreasonable if you want to wait for a year or more??
#I'm asexual and am not in the business of wanting sex with anyone#but sometimes I find myself wondering if I could and in what situation#and I'm like hm maybe if I knew someone for like 5 years and loved them a lot as a friend and trusted them maybe I could compromise#and then I found out about expectations in dating culture and my mind was blown#it makes me realise how asexual I am lol#but I feel like most people are using dating apps now and it's pretty hard to have a really slow getting to know someone#so my heart goes out to demisexual people because I think a lot of people see them as not having many obstacles#demisexual#asexual spectrum#asexual community#ace spectrum#acespec#asexuality#asexual
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i cleaned my room i changed my sheets i took a shower i am a normal human person now everybody cheers
#it sure does feel good to Be now#but oh my god it's so tiring to do stuff#shagdhgsadhgsahghga#wrestling with my 9kg weighted blanket is never fun#and also . shrimpmin was just zoooominggg back and forth on my bed while i was trying to change the sheets#silly guy#aanyway i love you guys!!!#i am stil incredibly slow with asks but i am just working very hard on the prince!gojo x knight!reader rewrite#it's at 9k now i think............#which is fucking scary and which is also the reason i'm only putting this in the tagshgsadghsadhhgas#it's way blooder and there's more fighting and well while i love that#i'm scared that ppl just won't read it yk#LIKE I PROMISE THERE'S SOME TASTY BICKERING TOO OKAY IT'S FUN I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISEEEE#sighh#writing is scary sometimes huh..#mayor of loserville
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hang on i'm once again thinking about house being stupid with love. stacy moved in with him a week after meeting him. that's HUGE change. could you imagine how much he'd have to be obsessing over her to make HIS home THEIR home??? and he still wasn't over her 5+ years later after everything either.
(and like. i wonder if there was ever a moment there for wilson where he's watching house and stacy be so witty and beautiful and in love together and thinking to himself, huh. so this is what that feels like.)
#house md#stacy warner#gregory house#james wilson#i'm hacking into this man's brain rn#this man who argues the validity and existence of love he could probably fall in love in a day if he let himself#and while it's not marriage it's certainly not nothing for wilson to watch play out#do you think he was happy for him? did he tell him to slow down?#it was before the infarction so maybe. well maybe house was still an infallible figure to him#always five moves ahead so uniquely capable of handling any challenge and stubborn enough to prove it#hell he was probably more active than wilson the guy can't stay still sometimes#i'm just. hmmm. now i am once again wishing we could have had some flashback episode or something#i wanna know what everyone was LIKE before pre-infarction#how did his relationship with cuddy change how did his relationship with wilson >#(who will risk his own security TIME AND TIME AGAIN for house's benefit) become what it is#where they maybe............ a little more normal friends??? or is that too crazy to consider
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zolu slow dancing to brook's music inside the crow's nest while everyone else is drinking and partying on the deck because sometimes even the energetic, eccentric captain wants to be quiet and close to his first mate in their own little world
#i am so so soft for them slow dancing#and actually it's not even slow dancing they're just like holding each other and sometimes they move and they call it a day#but it's their own little world and they're happy together#and then sanji brings food to the party and their moment is completely interrupted by luffy's hunger#one piece#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#zolu
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hii happy pride month, have a little 'you're a dog (i'm your man)' chapter four snippet as an apology for radio silence <33
“Did I wake you?” Gale asks, glancing at John apologetically, but John looks up from his effort to avoid muddy puddles to shake his head. Gale supposes it’s a silly question; John sleeps like a rock, dead to disturbances made by anything other than his own brain.
“Just my sixth sense,” John says, shrugging and shooting him a small smile. Gale snorts.
“You got a radar for me?” He teases, and John smiles wider, eyes crinkling.
“Built in,” he answers matter–of–factly, raising a hand and making a fist over the center of his chest before dropping it, returning his vigilant gaze to the uneven ground. Gale stares for a moment longer, floored not for the first time by John’s apparent obliviousness to the weight of his sentimentality.
Even knowing John how he does, it’s always unexpected coming from someone who a stranger might assume to be brazen and surface–level; John’s loud mouth and wandering hands do him no favours in that regard.
But Gale does know John, like an extension of himself half the time, and still he manages to render him speechless. The way his heart flutters as the sentiment hangs in the air makes Gale want to reach down his throat and squeeze it until it never beats again.
#slow progress but progress#dog coded bucky fic#still sick unfortunately lol i thought i was lucky enough for it to just be a week thing but i forget i am chronically ill!#(read: i gaslight myself into thinking i'm normal sometimes)#i'm trying to get this chapter done before i reply to asks/post other stuff#bc i rly only have the mental capacity for one or the other at once atm :( but i miss you guys and being deranged here SO BAD. so so bad#thank u for the endlessly kind messages and your boundless patience oh my word <3 it rly is so reassuring mwah hugs#i rly do feel so bad for not replying to @s and messages tho i just have so little energy rn so i am conserving it :(#but i read them all whenever the migraine brainfog subsides enough to scroll and i smile and weep simultaneously <33#so if i have not replied to ur msg. i promise it is nothing personal i'm just a walking corpse and will get back to u when i can <3#and that's my boring author's life behind the scenes update JSKGD my bad y'all#buckbucky
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Wally brought you a cup of sugar!
Like a good neighbor!
He also has an egg in his pocket!
If you know, you know!
#a little morning doodle!#im not dead!!#holiday chaos and my adhd and time blindness is a fun mix!!#working on lik 5 pictures instead of one ofc ofc#sometimes i feel so so slow!#shaking myself to sit down and finish things!!#i feel panic when i havent drawn him in .05 seconds#then i draw him and i am soothed#he brought a literal cup. like a tumbler#like a good neighbor. Wally is there!#jazzsketches#wally darling
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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so.
my silly little amnesia fic turns three today. a whole ass toddler. who’d have thought.
so in celebration of flowagabagoo’s birthday, (and to reassure everyone that this fic is not abandoned i swear--) i present to you with little snip of things to come:
#also i am so very sorry that tumblr seems to have taken away both my ask box and my messages??? i have 0 notifications#despite my tumblr-linked email pinging me about my unopened asks which i am no longer privy to. sigh.#so just know i am not ignoring you!! i am just being exiled from this godforsaken website#i'm making slow progress on ch23 but it'll be done sometime in august hopefully [she says with her fist clenched to her mouth]#flwogb
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@eyes-like-obsidian thank you for the tag on the dash game!
#watch me disappear again#I sometimes feel bad that I'm slow with drawing#for his appearance I don't think I can fit the whole text FDSFGH too long compare to everything else....#I kinda associate douma with incense sticks because temples do be burning that stuff like no tomorrow#you know doing this halfway I was like oh fuck i forgot I am an ice douma blog HAHAHA so uh well have douma technically the same person#douma#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#dash games#kny#remon talks#shinobu kochou#inosuke hashibira#shinobu#inosuke
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I had a thought while waking up this morning:
What if a part of the reason that Jance had their photoshoot together was that one of them (my bet is on Nace) was the slightest bit uncomfortable with modelling so he asked Damon about taking an emotional support person with him onto the set ... And then both Jan and Nace showed up for the shoot 🥹
Disclaimer: I want to admit I am a bit behind on the essays and interpretations about the Damon Baker pictures so take what I say here with a grain of (weak) salt (also given that I dont know these guys personally so this is "just" my little fluff theory)
#again take this with a grain of salt#the idea of jan being naces emotional support person in this situation makes me very giddy#they are so sweet#i love the pictures btw#i am just very slow xD#hopefully i can catch up sometime this week#(when the sticker project is done)#jan peteh#nace jordan#joker out#damon baker#micahs thoughts
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if river and spider were normal and not…irrevocably fucked up i imagine theyd be like april/andy from parks and rec
#i am rewatching p&r during this sloho insanity so it was bound to overlap#river is so andycore sometimes#slow horses#born to be a silly guy forced to experience the horrors of life
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Older Zeph wip. I know togas are roman and not greek but they're fun to draw and color. Plus due to all that roman influence all the older philosophers are depicted with togas in renaissance paintings so here we are.
#He still looks stiff to me.. i might try using this for a lineart base laterrr#my art#my ocs#i wonder why sarees and buddist monk robes and togas all loop over the same shoulder.. probably to leave the right arm open#been feeling some mental progress in my art these days but it's also making me frustrated.. everything feels like it takes so much longer#i feel like sometimes when i sketch i think flatly and sometimes i think in 3d.. i'm trying to cultivate the 3d thoughts#^^ this took around 2.5 hours and I feel like.. I have to learn how to paint in order to sketch.#it feels like it needs lineart in order for me to have weight and think about how clear I want the edges of shapes to be#i wish i was as good as I am right now 10 years ago.. i feel slow
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ignore the fact i disappeared that was simple winter hibernation ( still sick and coughing out my lungs btw )
for a basically nonexistent context it’s currently 1:50 am my paper is literally just on my mattress hello hard surface who and this is the most abhorrent lighting and i COOKED (dubious) 🔥🔥🔥‼️🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🌶️🌶️✨🌶️😋😋🌶️😋😋🥺🥺💖💖✨✨
one of my ocs grgrggrjekslalksj I need to talk about them more on here nyways yeah uhm bye read the tags thanks
#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles!#guys. guess what. your dearest father#i mean melon#has returned with the goods omg this is so splendid wait wait why are you turning around#and leaving again wait no wAIT#too slow. ive disappeared with the wind 😱😱#on a less silly note writers block burnout and a bunch of other silly fun happy things got meshed together into this really ugly ball#and it may or may not have taken we like 3 full days to get down a single sentence#so. hahahaha#melon is sometime but definitely before February definitely definitely aaha im not gaslighting myself im not g-#and to like throw something at this feral audience i have ammassed#a bone#if you will#ill get a work out soon#plan smth special for our silly celebration ILY GUYS SM SHHSHSHKS UGH WAHHGHH 💖💖💖#and i am finally going to be poking that smau of mine that’s been on mine indefinite hiatus for far too long <43#i was honestly thinking of discontinuing it but the anemo men… im an anemo kisser I couldn’t possibly..#so. that should be all from me#ill be workin on a new tagging system when I get back fully hopefully#so this blog will look less like an active track wreck <3#giggles okay bye im off to do more silly bybye 🫡
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