#but i am smart. very smart. just with adhd
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
lmao im poly and queer why is it so hard to be Like That
#i dont know how to deal with full blown crushes anymore#highschool me knew better ig!!!! wtf!!!! do i!!!!!!! DO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#the last time i started a relationship is the one between my current partner of 5 years#but how to deal with crush????? on multiple people other than my lovely wife???????? wtf????????? HOWWWWW?????????????#i am combusting.#i dont know how to ask someone. if they'd. like to uh. i DONT KNOW HOW.#im like 99.9% sure the feelings are not mutual. but they both have maybe possibly flirted with me maybe????????????????????????????????????#I DONT REMEMBER WHAT FLIRTING PRE RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE#SOMEONE HELP#THIS SUCKS SHIT.#BECAUSE TRAUMA AND ALSO. IM JUST. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO#I WANNA KISS THEM SO BAD THIS SUCKS SHIT SO BAD I HATE ROMANCE RN THROW IT INTO THE SUN FIREBOMB LOVE RIGHT NOW#i may be poly but im also VERY AUTISTIC AND VERY ADHD I DONT KNOW IF ITS ACTUALLY FLIRTING I DONT. I AM. SO CONFUSED.#I AM GOING TO THROW UP DFSJKHAKEJFKFDJKSKJ I DONT THINK ITS 99.9% BUT I ALSO DO AT THE SAME TIME#I HAVE TWO HANDS AND BOTH OF THEM ARE HOLDING A DIFFERENT OPINION#ROMANCE SUCKS SHIT. I MISS MY WIFE TAILS. SHE'S SMART AND TOLD ME THAT MAYBE CONFESSING IS BETTER#HOWEVER. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT WANNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITLL BE SO AWKWARDDDD I CANT AWGWGAGWAGAGWAFAKJDF#i havE NO RIZZ. PLS. ZERO. ANTI RIZZLER. I CANNOT. IM NOT. UGH. THEYRE. UGH. FUCK THIS.#EXPLODES#delete later#but uh; tldr? what it says on the tin i have crushes and i dont know what to fucking DO#i cant read the situation properly and my feelings have only got stronger. send help.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ughh SORRY BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT the people you meet in engineering are just by and large so unpleasant I hate it here
#DONT get me wrong there are at least three very cool eng students here#but fuckign. come on we have to admit it. the structure of the program makes you worse and more annoying#out of stress out of competitiveness whatever#yknow what I’ve never heard in english class or art club? earnest discussions of crypto#elon musk fangirling#clique-forming based on whether you have a fucking pilot’s license#using gay as an insult like it’s 2014#physical assault#etc#christ be normal for a bit!! talk about something that doesn’t make me wanna kill myself!#tbh think the issue might be that smart mean rich kids either go into mech/elec or medicine#and there’s nowhere else in the country for aero freaks to go so they all end up here. revving their audis at 10pm and cutting off busses#no joke every few months I���m like huh I should try to make friends in this program. and I go to a social event or talk to someone or w/e#and then I remember that they are not fun to hang out with because I don’t invest or like cars or want a plane or drink#and I am not willing to sit thru that discussion until someone brings up something more interesting. usually there isn’t anything#see our capstone group works bc it’s full of adhd bitches. today we talked about eggs for an hour#ughhhhh. genuinely I think it’s weird how many ppl don’t have hobbies beyond gaming drinking and investing and I fundamentally can’t get#along with them and that’s why all the cool engineers are found in art club#or maybe I’m just insane and annoying who knows
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
yeah they're meant to be separate feelings so if you've got a regular doctor you might want to discuss it with them to see if you can pursue what's causing it and possible solutions
"nauseated" and "hungry" are two feelings that should NOT be allowed to coincide
#sometimes you have a condition that makes you blind to your body's signals and you completely miss 'hungry'#to the point that your body beats you over the head with 'nauseated' trying to get your attention#which is of course unhelpful but bodies are often not very smart#sometimes nausea and hunger being conflated sensations are a symptom of a variety of chronic illnesses#it can definitely be worth trying to find out what your specific deal is#sometimes you get treatment to help or sometimes you know the Why and you can strategize behaviors or routines#to compensate and offset that kind of body blindness#either way it's not generally supposed to be like this#usually a sign something is not operating the way it ought to#(for me when i made this post i was sick but still needed food to fuel The Body so it threw hunger at me despite the nausea)#(but i also am adhd and struggle with a bit of body blindness and executive dysfunction combo#that makes ignoring the hungry sensation until it transforms like a monster into nausea horribly easy#and i have managed to reduce a lot of those instances in my life by setting myself certain routines and rituals#up to and including just learning to give myself permission to eat ANYTHING i can make myself eat even if it's not a 'proper' meal#so i keep a lot of emergency snack items on hand at my usual stations around my room because most important is insert calories into body)
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
got my first paper back from my human rights class (the second one is due tomorrow lmao) and i got an a and he like. pointed out bits he liked? which was nice! for sure! but there’s no criticism at all so i feel completely unmoored for this next one. like i was really hoping i would have specific things to work on or fix that would help me center my writing but nope, i’m just winging it again. and like, i should be glad that i did well and he apparently likes my writing, but also i’m just kind of. agh. you know??
#it doesn’t help that the assignment for both was ‘pick 3 sources from class and write about a topic’#like that’s it just. write about something. anything. whatever. just make it up#sir you are extremely cool and very smart and i enjoyed your class a lot#but i am begging you from the bottom of my adhd little heart for a crumb of structure!!!! please!!!!! anything!!!!#whatever i’m just gonna keep staring at a blank screen until like 4 hours before it’s due like last time#apparently that worked for me#personal
1 note
·
View note
Text
Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality
Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.
I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.
But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.
A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.
I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had.
That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.
We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent.
I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).
Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism.
Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.
It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.
#disability#chronically couchbound#disabled#disabled pride#disability pride#cripple punk#cripplepunk#intellectual disability#neurodevelopmental disabilities#cognitive disability#brain fog#adhd#audhd#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actuallyautistic#autistic#neurodivergence#tbi survivor#iq test#voter rights#ableism#chronic pain#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative amnesia#amnesiac#IQ score#Low IQ
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
TFA TEAM PRIME HUMAN REDESIGNS FINALLY
FUCK
+headcannons
Optimus: gotta stay focused
looks too old compared to his bot form.
I find it impossible for Optimus to be more than a million years old in this canon. In the least, he's older than 1000 years and since we have mfs that are canonically over 70 million years old(fagatron iykyk) compared to that, he feels like a dude in his early-to-mid-30's being the group parent.
---
-I made him more youthful, gave him curly hair, and tailored his clothing to actually look like his bot form.
-workaholic
-on the cusp of barley being able to hold his liquor
-doesn't own a pair of pajamas until Sari gets some for him
-usually forgets to put them on, but appreciates the gesture
-stays active for like, 3 days until he can't fight off sleep with work brain anymore, and unceremoniously passes out on the couch to sleep for a full 24 hours
-ratchet sighs and puts a blanket over him as per routine
-frequently checks security feed
-elf on the shelf despiser
-early morning talks with jazz and ratchet over coffee (they all wake up at 6 am)
-half thrives on caffeine and a vigorous training protocol
-is a dog person, loves German shepherds to death
David sama, pls forgive me ily very much
Ratchet: to old for this nonsense
doesn't match his body type in the slightest.
Ratchet is really old, he's got a sallow face and a gramp gut, how dare they square him. He's wayyy too angular and peachy looking.
-I gave him his luscious curves back, adding all the equipment id expect a field medic to have because he is a field medic, not a regular doctor. I changed his facial proportions, and also made his face gaunt, for that dead inside PTSD look.
---
-drinks his coffee black with brown sugar, literally drinks it piping hot
-is one of those old people who complains about noise
-confiscates bumblebee and Sari's toy cars, and puts them in a high up cabinet
-neither of them know how to bypass the child safety lock lmao
-casual clothes includes a lot- a l o t of plaid shirts, and 10 pairs of the same blue jeans
-tunes out bulkhead and prowls convos about birdwatching
-big fan of political satire dramas
-Sentinel doesn't approve
-Ratchet doesn't give a rats ass about what he thinks of course
Bumblebee: professional smart-ass
doesn't match his body type/age.
Bumblebees holoform is presented as a 10-12 year old child specifically for the fact that he's short, and the comedic relief. Total ass
I set his human age as 19-20 years old, making him more of a big brother to sari because that og model is disappointingly lackluster
---
-Bumblebee is a scrappy wisecracking punk, like an adhd kid who just got roller skates for Christmas.
-since he doesn't have wheels, I feel like he'd wear skates instead to emulate the feeling
-terrible at watching where he's going cuz he's too busy trying to show off, so ratchet makes him wear all that padding + training wheels
-legit despises the padding and training wheels
-Jealous of Blurr for mastering roller blades lmao.
-his favorite games are choose your fighter and fps
-saw ONE ancient ass assassins creed playthrough and begged ratchet to install hidden tasers in his arm bands (was denied)
-Sari used her key to do it instead
-self appointed "rizzler"
-Optimus has zero idea of what that means and thinks it's code for something dubious
-Ratchet knows what it means and thinks it's silly
-"I' was something of a rizzler myself back in my day, kid"
-bumblebee cringes
-loves summer and swimming
-wants to be the fastest thing in the sea because y'know, it's bumblebee
-is spooked from the beach for awhile cuz he saw sharks in Prowls nature documentary
-there are infact, no sharks in lake Erie
Bulkhead: big guy, bigger heart
doesn't match his body type/aspirations.
Jesus fuck he's so wide?? And his belly migrated to his shoulders?? I'm gonna be honest, I really hate this design. I feel like it contributed to the "brute strength = stupid" take that most in the fandom associates with him.
---
-Bulkhead is a SWEET. CARING. NERD YOU FOOLS. He's like the male version of a tall goth gf-
-a tall-nerdy-farm hand-physics bf, You got me fucked up.
-Its already shown that bulkhead really likes art in Addition to creating it. He hates being only seen as the "muscle" so it wouldn't make sense for him to lean into that.
-bunny slippers that him and sari made together(she provided the buttons)
-the slippers go missing sometimes (basically considered community property unless he's wearing them)
(ratchet and prowl are the main offenders)
-frequent art museum goer
-really likes watching cooking shows, but is too shy to make food himself
-Owns a ton of star maps
-Really wants a treehouse that he, bumblebee and sari can hang out in
-pillowfort enjoyer
-casually reads quantum physics at the beach
Prowl: draft dodger
Doesn't look like him at all.
Prowls holoform being a mustachioed,white, police officer was an actual jumpscare for 7 y/o me, I kid you not
---
- I know this bitch would not wear a helmet (you can't force him to) que windswept hair
-Not as much as starscreams, for obvious reasons but yk
-prowl is like one of those "shoes are a prison for your feet"
-emo hipster
-has a pet cactus named "planty"
-bumblebee heckles him for it
-can and has brought his cactus with him on early evening motorcycle rides
-the helmet is reserved for his cactus, bring your own >:(
-salad consumer
-him and jazz share custody of the cactus
-repeat victim of the cat distribution system
-ratchet has probably spent hours telling him they can't keep any animals at base
-frequent midnight picnics with jazz
-and beachcombing
-and roaming around antique stores cuz jazz wants to know what vinyl records are
-got a mug with an attempted pink chibi cat with big round shiny eyes painted onto it, courtesy of bulkhead trying to find an artsyle
-cherishes this mug to death
-has a shrine dedicated to it
#tfa#decepticons#autobots#tfa headcanons#tfa optimus prime#tfa bulkhead#tfa bumblebee#tfa ratchet#tfa prowl#AUUUUUUGH#im gonna have a pole#optimus prime#bumblebee#bulkhead#prowl#ratchet#tfa sari#sari sumdac#sari mention
376 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Greek Gods, described by me:
(pls take this as hc I just have vibes)
Zeus:
That uncle that thinks they're fun at parties, but actually everybody just wants them to shut up and stop talking about the shape of the earth. Knows the truth and what's best for you (hmmm)
Poseidon:
That uncle that is perpetually absent, but very loud when he does show. Teases everyone and never notices that some of it hurts. Has slightly less unhinged ideas about the world than Zeus but is just as annoying about them.
Hades:
The uncle that at least gets how unhinged everything is. Usually has the reasonable arguments but nobody listens. Has no idea what you are up to, but at least he feels bad that he's distant. Hates family gatherings even more than the second generation.
Hera:
True professional. Made bad choices (marrying Zeus) but now guess we'll deal with it. Olympus runs because of her. Being a bastard child does not serve you well, unless what you want actively annoys Zeus, or if you know not to expect a mother figure but approach her as queen.
Demeter:
Tries to fix Olympus sometimes, but it never goes well. Perfectly agreeable until you go after the environment (honestly you go girl). Is a genuinely sweet Mom who probably cries if you get her a gift because she loves you so much. Probably will get a dog to compensate for you growing up and moving out (even if you didn't get kidnapped first)
Hestia:
The best. Always has hot chocolate and a place to unwind. Honestly everyone would be happier if they spent more time with her. Possibly the only God who genuinely knows peace.
Athena:
Oh look, the oldest and gifted too. No coincidence that there was nothing about being happy in that prophecy about her. Is naturally good at pretty much anything she tries, except feelings. Will join in with the first gen's arguments even though there's nothing to be gained, it's just hard to sit by all the bullshit when you know better.
Hephaestus:
Honestly a pretty chill dude. Just wants to make things. Every few hundred years he'll make something evil-scientist-y so Olympus remembers he's not a doormat. Would have coined the word introvert if Hades hadn't beaten him to it.
Aphrodite:
Smarter than you think. Torn between being exactly what everyone sees her as and being anything but. Don't mistake love for harmony, this girl holds her ground and just bc she has emotional intelligence does not mean she won't punch where it really stings.
Ares:
They really screwed this guy over, he's just doing his job. Yes, he will kill you, but not if you're unarmed. Honest, strong, straightforward, and can be gentle as long as not on the battlefield. Give this big man some appreciation and self-esteem, by Styx!
Artemis:
A mythic bitch. Possibly the first ever activist, making a point of breaking gender norms. Smart, capable, and independent. Her views can be a little extreme at times, but you can't deny that running around the woods with a bunch of wild nymphs lesbians imo is massive lifegoals
Apollo:
Fabulous. Cannot pick a hobby to save his life. Is the most competent and put-together medic ever but outside of the tent, he cries about puppy videos. Always torn between "I am the best there ever was" and "I am a failure of a man, a god, a being!"
Hermes:
God of ADHD and we love him for it. Also a little menace who is simultaneously an amazing liar and can't keep his mouth shut when he really should (thankfully he's quick on his feet). Physically unable to take anything seriously.
Dionysus:
Does all the drugs (which is especially crazy given he can actually die) Being the youngest does actually do nothing for him. God of side quests and mayhem. Seriously mess with him and your mental health is gone forever (that explains a lot about me actually)
#greek mythology#greek gods#athena#zeus#poseidon#hades#hera#demeter#hestia#hephaestus#ares#aphrodite#artemis#apollo#hermes#dionysus#greek goddess#greek myths#greek mythology memes
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
Miku, Rin, Len, Luka:
No propaganda!
Jay, Cole, Kai, Zane:
"They're my friends, they've been a team for over 10 years now and I've been there that whole time :)"
"Why shouldn't they win? They're little gay skittles. Or they're brothers. You choose"
"JUMP UP KICK BACK WHIP AROUND AND SPIN (sorry i am very passionate about the legos but too tired to form like. real sentences. please imagine something written about how they're cool and fueled my childhood or something)"
"OK SO
They’re the OG members of the ninja team and shipping all four of them together is popular and is very gay it’s called polyninja and it’s amazing and let me break down the dynamics of each of them
Zane x Jay: Technoshipping
Robot x their mechanic trope goes brrrr. Zane is a logical and smart one, and Jay is chaotic and kinda a disaster. Zane is the autism to his adhd and they are very fun <3
Zane x Kai: Oppositeshipping
Ha ha opposites attract trope goes brrr. Again, Zane is logical and smart, whereas Kai is impulsive (and also smart just in a different way). Both of them feel emotions strongly but process them in different ways and I have to end it here before I write an essay about how ZANE was the one who with a single meaningful look and touch to the arm told him it was too late to go back, how Lloyd mentioned KAI to try and restore Zane’s memories when he had amnesia, how- (You get the picture)
Zane x Cole: Glaciershipping
Mom friend x Dad friend. I have realized that his is getting long so I am going to be much briefer now
Jay x Kai: Plasmashipping
Two adhd/add idiots being stupid together <3
Jay x Cole: Bruiseshipping
Best friends to lovers what more could you want (don’t start me on this one they have so much chemistry)
Kai x Cole: Lavashipping
I am bad at words for this one but just trust me they’re a Vibe ok they’re a Vibe
Zane x Jay x Kai x Cole: Polyninja
THEY ARE STUPID, GAY, AND IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR"
#vocaloid#lego ninjago#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#megurine luka#jay walker#cole brookstone#kai smith#zane julien#polls#four of them showdown#round 1#OBSESSED with the propaganda for this one
378 notes
·
View notes
Text
DR RATIO ANALYSIS: PART 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT.
Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, you already did one, why do you need a second?" And my answer is, "LORD, I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT HOW HIS DEFINITION OF 'IDIOT' IS DIFFERENT. AND ALSO HE DOES NOT HATE AVENTURINE NOR DOES HE THINK AVENTURINE IS STUPID." Once again, here is my disclaimer - although I have been researching psychology for a solid six years, I am NOT a professional. (I will be, one day. Just you wait, just youuuu wait-) So understand that everything I say has been analyzed with personal judgement, with my own conclusions, come to with logic and my personal interpretation. This is just what I have concluded, and you are always free to disagree.
This is my legacy. To be an analyzer. So let's go.
Okay, now that my disclaimer is over, let's take off Ratio's plaster head and chuck it into the sea, and see - what does he mean by 'idiot'?
This will be much shorter than my last, so don't worry - I will not be flashbanging you with another 4k words. This is more like a follow up, than anything else, because there's a few things I wish to touch on.
Dr. Ratio doesn't hate idiots in the sense that he hates people that have 'low IQ' or are 'stupid' in terms of being 'slow to understand'. I definitely touched on this in my last analysis, but he hates people who take their education for granted and don't go places with the gifts that they've been given. He hates "idiots" - "narrow minded" people who have the capabilities to do more and perceive more than they choose to do. People who deliberately look away or take what they know and what they could do for granted. He wants to open people's eyes and allow them to see life from multiple different angles and he believes that everyone should have a chance to learn - with the whole "knowledge for everyone" thing he's got rolling.
He wears a plaster head around people he doesn't seem to know too well in order to think more, or so that he doesn't have to see the faces of the people he dislikes. Pretty good roast. However, he does NOT wear that plaster head around Aventurine. Let's listen to the doctor's judgement - Aventurine is far from stupid. Although he likes to chalk up a lot of the things he does to his own luck, he is an INCREDIBLY capable individual who's managed to get this far because of his own form of genius. He's a man who relies on chance and good fortune, yes, but his charm, his way of scheming, and the way that he's good with people? That's skill. A talent he doesn't take for granted. Dr. Ratio respects him for this - because despite the fact that he has no proper education, he has his eyes wide open to the world and doesn't take shit for granted. He learns what he can in order to survive and he does it fucking well - Aventurine is a very smart man. He's observant, quick on his feet, and great at going with the flow and thinking in the moment.
Aventio aside, I actually believe that Dr. Ratio would be a really good teacher to those who struggle. He's patient where it's needed to be, even if he's got a quick temper, and I believe in his pursuit for knowledge he would do his best to go out of his way to find strategies that would work for their individuals. We're all unique, and he's aware of this - and because he wants to allow people to think for themselves, whatever helps the individual works. Depression? He's got a psych degree, I'm sure bro could give you some strategies. Autism? He has a touch of the 'tism himself. ADHD, and not feeling organized? Bro will help you. It's canon that he's a great fucking teacher - those who finish his classes go on to become successful people who are intelligent and critical thinkers. Round of applause for Ratio, the man that kins my father. He's shit at emotions, but great at knowledge.
Also, on that note, I believe that he would most likely hate parents that push thier "gifted" students to the limit without any compassion for the person that they really are. He's most definitely got some of that academic trauma so I believe that bro holds a secret disdain for parents who just use their children to gain more recgonition. Well, not so secret. He'd cuss them out. (Ratio please cuss out the horrible parents.)
Dr. Ratio, the Teacher ever. (Hey, maybe he'd get along with Kunikida...)
Also, I am definitely planning on making a fic where he teaches Aventurine Latin. As long as you're eager to learn and willing to look past the chalk being thrown, he's got a place for you.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk. I did not read this through, so this is not edited. Take my unedited rambles.
#aurae analyzes#dr ratio#drratio#veritas ratio#analysis#character analysis#honkai star rail#hsr#aventio#ratiorine#aventurine#dr ratio x aventurine#character study
221 notes
·
View notes
Text
Celeb series : what do you and your bias have in common ?
Pick one of the following emojis : 1🦋 2🌷 3🌈 Warning : this reading might be triggering.
Group 1 🦋 Like a butterfly ~
3 of swords, the Empress, 9 of pentacles, 8 of cups, 4 of pentacles
You and your bias might have both struggled with depression, anxiety and such. You both know the feeling of being alone no matter how much you try, no matter how kind you are to others. The feeling of not being recognized for who you are, not feeling like you belong on this Earth. You are both very independant people that strive to feel good in their own shoes and find people that match their vibe. You just want to be you and not be judged for that. You may both have had to cut ties with things and people because you didn't feel valued or supported enough in those situations. You both had your heart broken by people whom you trusted, people that were close to you and pretended they loved you. You both are succesful when it comes to your career but your love life isn't doing well. You are both very beautiful/handsome. You both tend to be lone wolves and have a hard time connecting with people. You may both be introvert types. Your past has lead both of you to hide your vulnerabilities and sensitivity to protect yourselves. Both of you are very private people, you don't share a lot of information about your life. You don't share your resources or ideas, your time and energy because you know people tend to abuse you if you do. You may both be a bit possessive and/or jealous. You have a hard time trusting people but once you do you have a hard time letting go. You easily get attached which is why you keep your guards up most of the time. Both of you fear rejection and intimacy.
Group 2 🌷 Hey you wanna come in?
9 of swords, page of swords, Temperance, 6 of swords, ace of wands
You are very passionate people. Your minds are sharp. So sharp that they tend to hurt you more than they help. Both of you are overthinkers. Both of you may have struggled with mental health issues. Both of you have a very vivid imagination. Your minds tend to go all over the place and shift from one idea to the next effortlessly. You are the type of people that loves to chat with others, that always has a smart comment in store, a little joke, a witty word play. You love studying, you love creating. You constantly need to be doing something otherwise your mind gets the best of you. Both of you are restless and have a hard time settling down. It's like you're constantly in flight or fight mode. You both are bold and also a bit rash in making decisions. You may be impulsive and have a hard time dealing with frustration or anger. Maybe you struggle with things such as ADHD. Both of you aspire for peace and quiet. Both of you like to be mentally stimulated and challenged. Both of you love to have fun without having to worry about the consequences. You may both have grown up in a strict household and now you are freeing yourself from the restraints that were put on you, which explains the reckless energy I am getting from this group. Both of you strive for freedom and excitement. Both of you can be pretty horny lmao I wouldn't be surprised if your bias was a rapper. I'm getting ambivert vibes from this group.
Group 3 🌈 Topline !
10 of swords, King of pentacles, Hierophant, 10 of wands, 5 of cups
You and your bias have a lot on your plate that you tend to keep hidden. You repress your emotions to protect others. Both of you may hold an important position and have to deal with a lot of responsibilities. Both of you are very faithful people. You may both believe in God or at least a higher power being responsible of this Universe. I'm getting burnout energy from this group. Both of you are so exhausted that you don't even have the energy to care anymore. You just do your job and do your best not to collapse. It is hard for both of you to enjoy what you are doing because you have overextended yourself so much so that you don't have much left to give. Both of you are very ambitious people, people of principles and rules that want things in life to be fair for everyone. Justice matters a lot to you. Faithfulness matters a lot to you. You tend to be very harsh on yourself. You expect a lot from others and often times end up being disappointed. You have a hard time getting along with people because of that. It takes a lot to understand you but it also takes a lot for you to understand people. Societal constructs and cues may not be your thing. You may be used to being alone so much so that being with others is a nightmare. I'm picking up on single parents, single children, people that were separated from their family at a very young age. You are very succesful in life which came with a lot of sacrifices and you would never let anyone ruin that. You take a lot of pride in who you became, no matter how much of a mess your life may be, because you know what it took you to get their and how much worse it could have been. Your bias is in a similar energy and mindset. Both of you have a good heart and are absolutely amazing people but I feel like life and people have turned you sour.
105 notes
·
View notes
Note
do you think that some of Harry's actions could be more than simply abuse? like i often take note of his small social groups/dislike of social situations, inability to regulate/understand emotion, lack of filter, hyperfixation on things, etc. and interpret him as an autistic character. i think there's also mirrors between magic itself and neurodivergence (just in the same way magic is often a metaphor for queerness within media), as something that someone is born with and has to hide from the wider world, historically regarded as "freakish", and the statistics that show that neurodivergent kids are more likely to be abused.
it could just be me projecting (as im autistic myself), but i'm curious if you've got any thoughts on this?
Honestly, I personally headcanon Harry as ADHD (because I have ADHD and am familiar with it), so I really get it.
How he interacts with people, his being so smart, but very unfocused in classes, his tendency to fail himself by overthinking things (when it comes to spell casting), and his issues with emotional regulation and occasionally understanding others (He's very compassionate, but he isn't the best at actually knowing to how to approach people. Like, not understanding why Cho was crying after Cedric died or just throwing Ron's blanket over Hermione in Deathly Hallows after Ron left because he didn’t know how to comfort her. Or in OotP when he saw Lavender and Praviti giggling about him, and he was sure it was about what the Prophet wrote and not that he got hot over the summer. He can be super awkward like that) can all be very easily read as Harry having some kind of neurodivergence.
I think that's a super valid reading of his character regardless of the type of neurodivergent you think he is. I mean, it's the 90s and the Wizarding World, so it's not like he'd ever get a diagnosis. Neither he nor anyone else is going to consider it, I mean, as bad as the muggle world at the time is about neurodivergence, the Wizarding World is probably worse.
Now, I'm not sure about magic in the Wizarding World being easily read as an allegory to autism (or anything similar). Like, you can read it however you want, but I don't personally see this treatment of magic as a whole.
I actually think the 'Harry is neurodivergent headcanon' extends to how he interacts with magic in an intuitive way that goes against how the textbooks teach but is easier for him. Like, I truly believe that one of the reasons he doesn't bother studying much is because how magic is thought about by most people is not how Harry understands it, and if someone only bothered to explain things to him in his own terms instead of the textbook terms he'd be the second coming of Merlin.
But Harry himself being neurodivergent is something I am 100% behind.
#harry potter#hp#hp meta#asks#hollowedtheory#anonymous#harry james potter#my best boy hjp#hollowedheadcanon#hp headcanon
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
i keep seeing sm anti percabeth (idk how i am very pro percabeth tumblr what are you doing) and like. i feel like a large amount of people forget that they are both massively traumatized kids/teenagers who are in their first and only relationship.
they’re gonna fuck up, they’re gonna be a little toxic, but overall they’re is so much communication and time and like. life that we DONT see.
percy is also an unreliable narrator (no hate but he is), he’s sarcastic and sometimes people don’t pick up on his sarcasm. he insults himself a lot and he really does see some things with rose colored glasses
annabeth and him were also friends first, so a lot of how they behave is very friend-like. the teasing of being smart (god knows my friend and i tease each other religiously for being smart or not smart). honestly the judo flip as well (can’t tell you how many times my friends and i have thrown punches at one another and before you say ‘yes well he’s an abuse victim! so it’s different!!’ yeah, so are some of my friend and so am i. we’ve talked about it, and don’t step out of line) communication is important kids!! (so is consent!!!! had to throw that in there)
we didn’t see them talk about it! they 100% did, why else would annabeth be comfortable enough doing it?
anyway i know this is a long ass rant, i’m just mildly annoyed that people think these traumatized kids with absolutely no therapy experience whatsoever are going to be 110% perfect 24/7, like yeah they’re a great relationship but hey, they’ve still fucked up. we all have
* also ik i didn’t go into every single minor detail. i am not that focused. i’ve got adhd and it’s vacation so fuck that. i also haven’t reread in a while (rlly into fantasy right now) so…..sue me 🤷
#pjo#hoo#toa#percabeth#percy x annabeth#annabeth x percy#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo disney+#pjo discourse#rick riordan#riordanverse
280 notes
·
View notes
Text
@rizzlegukgak I chose Adaine; my reasoning is in the tags.
I’ve seen some posts going around about this so here’s a poll
#ok going to defend myself#I am WAY more of a Kristen than an Adaine#but I got out of organized fundamentalist religion much later than her#and was also always masking and repressing things#I’m actually really bad at school#but I am just very smart so I got almost universally amazing grades until college#and because I was doing so amazing no one picked up on#or cared to mention#my very obvious adhd#therefore I was led to believe that school would always be that easy for me#so I set my sights on medical school#(which is still a goal for me I just need to figure out how to work with my brain)#and I was blessed to be born into an upper-middle class family#but don’t worry my dear rizzle#I am 100% Kristen now#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
this person has me blocked, which is something i used to genuinely lament because occasionally i'd see bits of their very thoughtful commentary floating across my dash, and i'd find myself sighing sadly over what other gems of wisdom i was missing out on by not having access to their blog. i'd even lament about it via dms to some of my pals who did still have access to this person's blog. what interesting discussions must have been happening beyond that "???" "this is no one" "uh, who??" opaque door that tumblr always presented to me whenever i clicked on this person's username? would i ever know?
a friend this morning: want to see a bad take to get mad at
me: obviously yes
anyway as it turns out, it looks like i'm missing out on exactly nothing, actually, so that's a huge relief
more seriously, recalling the insightful commentary that i have seen this person reblog in the past when it has come across my dash, i am frankly in awe of this one, because it is so profoundly disconnected from reality and how people experience stories. like i'm not even sure where to start with peeling back all of the wrongness layers at work here because i haven't taken my adhd meds yet this morning, but the primordial stupidity at this take's core (coming from someone who is clearly smart, ftr, i am targeting the stupidity of the concept, not the person) has made me genuinely angry. it's not even just about applying this framework to mdzs, though of course it is principally about that because this book DOES actually place class front and centre at multiple points in the narrative. it's the idea that we just shouldn't be having conversations about classism, or sexism, or [x]-ism, in the romance genre, because don't we realize the point is the romance, actually?? these other things clearly don't matter and aren't worth talking about??? and this mindset is so utterly foreign to me because at no point have i ever felt compelled to stop myself from thinking thoughts about a book because "oh, but this is genre fiction, i need to turn my brain off to read and enjoy this, i forgot." or "this thought is not appropriate because genre fiction, i'd better stop thinking it before i ruin the story."
like. i am deeply, deeply sorry for this person, actually, that they are not picking up on precisely what mxtx is putting down in the text, especially considering mxtx has explicitly explored themes of class in at least two of her novels (i'll get back to you on including svsss once i've read it). but also, a critique of class in the jianghu, or how mxtx has written her female characters, is entirely as valid use of fandom time and energy as writing one more definitely original and not remotely repetitive thinkpiece on the power of wangx!an's morally good love to overcome all obstacles (not saying OP wrote any of these, just that there ARE a bunch of them out there).
like. why do you want to simplify the experience of reading and thinking and talking about these books? why do you want to push for more boring analysis of stories? why are you using your platform to encourage this? i'm so mad about it actually. people listen to you, and this is what you're encouraging them to do: think less.
#salty peak sect 🧂#i'm so so so mad actually. just. so mad#this post will not be rebloggable and if you can suss out who the op is i am asking you very nicely not to have a go at them#leave them alone. come bitch about this with me in the notes here or via dms#also just. the audacity of claiming that jin guangyao 'doesn't count' even tho his whole story arc is about class barriers#and how class causes him to be treated differently than everyone else around him no matter where he is#or what amount of power he acquires#i'm gobsmacked by the willful ignorance
71 notes
·
View notes
Note
AMITA for lying to everyone I know about my identity’s as a queer/neurodivergent person?
I (18M) am a bisexual, transgender man who is also autistic, ADHD, and OCD. When people hear this about me, even if they know me, I feel like they build up this image of me as an awkward, “cringy” 11 year old who’s obsessed with “cringy” fandoms. And while i have a qualm with this because I know they are looking down on people who are just less masked/higher support needs, I also dislike that they do this because it’s just not who I am. Without the labels, I mostly seem like just a normal dude, if not a bit nerdy.
I also used to be extremely bullied as a kid (7-12) to the point of a suicide attempt, mostly due to homophobic, transphobic, or ablest remarks about me. Since then I’ve completely changed community’s and do not talk to anyone i knew before high school.
When authority figures (Teachers, Show Directors, Investors of the teen programs I lead) apply ablest/transphobic stereotypes or prejudices to me, they also tend to be less,,, normal? around me. Less kind compared to other kids, call me an “inspiration”, or they’ll coddle me when I’m incredibly capable. I do a lot for someone my age- and I know the connections I make now at conferences and whatnot will help me in the long run. My dad’s family is poor, and my immediate family is more comfortable but not that much. I know I’m smart, and I can weaponize that to get a better life for my family by getting good scholarships and jobs in good fields. I can’t just let people who could be very important to my goals look down on me. So i just.. don’t tell them anything about me. They might assume Im odd or “not normal”, and for the most part I let them assume whatever, but if i’m ever asked directly about anything I deny it. Especially in relation to me being transgender; I have the very privileged ability to pass without any medical intervention, and I use that to pretend to be cisgender. Living in the deep south of USAmerica, most of who I am could make my social life very uncomfortable to downright miserable.
Here’s where the problem starts happening. when my social and (what i consider to be a) “professional” life occasionally touch, I wouldn’t be able to be out everywhere socially without someone I don’t want knowing finding out. So i don’t tell any of my classmates/friends/peers about any of my identities either. I hang out with queer and straight people, never be actively homophobic/ablest, and will be very vague about the two questions i’ve ever received about any of that stuff. It’s very, very exhausting to pretend all the time, every day, especially pretending that I’m cisgender because it’s a tricky game, but I can’t really back down and I’m afraid that I might get bullied again if I was ever open about it with classmates.
A few months ago, I was dating this guy, who i’ll call Kai (17M) Kai is also a transgender man, but does not pass at all and is comfortable with it. He’ll get shit sometimes, but also has essentially no straight friends. I told him I was queer when we became good friends, and then told him I was trans after we started dating. I also told him why I lie about being cishet or neurotypical, and while he didn’t seem happy he didn’t push it at first. I told him that I understood if he didn’t want to be in a secret relationship, but because of where we live and what I want to do I wasn’t comfortable with being out again. He said he still wanted to date me, and claimed he would support me, and we had a pretty good relationship overall.
A month after that, he started bringing it up again. He told me that I was more than my identity, and if people didn’t see me for who I am instead of stereotypes, it isn’t worth talking to them at all. And while I agree with the sentiment, it’d never be possible to just not hear someone if they were harassing me, and while I truely dislike a lot of the authority figures that I engage with, they are in the professional fields I’m interested in, and I’m incredibly lucky for getting where I am so early. Kai also said that since I am well known in our very small school (only 300 kids), being out could be a positive influence on what people think about autistic people or trans people. In a particularly heated fight, he even said I was doing a disservice or betrayal to my community by not representing or being proud of being apart of them publicly.
We broke up pretty soon after, but I think about what he said a lot. I know that I wouldn’t be the only out person at my school, and that my school is actually a lot better compared to most local schools, which are a lot larger and… dramatic, but I just don’t think I could be out without going back to how I used to be mentally. And Kai was right about how I could be a good influence on some of the meaner classmates- I do think some of my peers who I ingenuinely connect with might reconsider their prejudices if they knew I was transgender.
I’m intentionally choosing not to take the opportunity to do better. It wouldn’t ruin ALL my relationships with the authority figures I consider to be important holding, since it would just be my school, It might dampen one or two of them. Plus, I’m lying to pretty much everyone who knows me. They build relationships with a false idea of me, and I feel like an asshole sometimes because I’m not honest.
TLDR: I’m a transgender, autistic guy in a very bigoted community. Everybody thinks i’m cishet and neurotypical. AMITA for not being proud of who I am because of potential social losses, and AMITA for lying to people and giving friends/peers false ideas about who I am even if they would not be friends with me if they knew?
What are these acronyms?
133 notes
·
View notes