#but i also want something i can identify with

[kaiserouo]

(prev | next | first)

yay i gave him a name

[richarlotte]

Modern Helen of Troy.

Delete the apps, and if you’re not willing to, PAUSE YOUR PROFILE. It’s too much; it’s exhausting, and chasing approval or attention on dating and hookup apps will tire you out faster than anything else. When I was on Hinge and Bumble, I was spiritually exhausted, and the best thing I did for myself was delete my profiles and focus on myself and the real world. Having a clean slate, clearing out your inbox and your conversations, and not having strangers barking at your door to be let in will help you rest. If you decide you can handle the apps or you want to have them, take your time and don’t agonize over the outcome.

 

You need to be in the gym or exercising 3 days weekly; my life became infinitely better when I had a workout routine, and moving my body helped alleviate so much of my tension and anxiety. 10,000 steps, proper meals, hydrating, and enjoying caring for my body helped change the way I viewed myself. A lot of people start working out, go hardcore with 7 days a week and intense cardio, and burn out fast. You don’t need to do that to be healthy or look good; a routine as simple as three days of the week and a consistent effort will get you right in no time at all. Consistency and a routine are what will win the race, not everything at first and then nothing at all.

 

You should work on maintaining friendships with people who uplift you and who you uplift in return. Your friends and partners can make the hardest times feel heavenly if they’re the right people; you must choose your friends wisely and then work on bettering and strengthening your relationships with each of them in 2025. In order to succeed, you need to have people around you, and you need to be willing to meet more people; you should be doing more and trying to experience more life, and you should be taking advantage of your youth. I wouldn’t have been able to come as far as I have without the help of my friends, and while isolation felt good to me at one point, loneliness is a beast one can’t battle alone.

 

Education is another essential thing to be focusing on throughout 2025, especially due to the period of time we’re living in. 2025 is all about improving our media literacy, getting diplomas and certifications, reading and writing more, becoming more articulate, learning more languages, and taking the time to relearn how to love learning. You are doing yourself a major disservice if you’re not keeping your mind sharp, learning new things, learning how to identify misinformation, and working on building up an understanding of the world around you. We as human beings were meant for lifelong learning, and if you’re not already doing something to sharpen your mind, now’s the perfect time to choose something fresh and get started.

 

2025 is also the time to work on gaining your independence, no matter your age. If you don’t know how to swim, don’t have your license, can’t ride a bike, don’t have a passport, don’t have a bank account, have never paid a bill, don’t know how to take public transit, or anything similar, now’s the time to get going. I read a great quote here on Tumblr about how you have to choose to wake up one day and take your independence, and I believe in it. Now is the perfect time to just start doing what needs to be done and learning along the way; you don’t need to be an expert, and you should feel no shame if you’re older and learning something new; you just need to be able to steer your ship out of troubled water if needed.

Richarlotte x

[superbat-lmao]

Tim and Jason AU

Scene 1

Jason makes it look like he’s doing something shady on a nearby roof, something that Tim thinks the Bats would want to hear about. And only Tim notices. He wants to be useful.

He starts to follow Jason and there are some mechanical closets on the top of the roof, and Jason is being very obvious in his direction, so when Tim turns a corner he isn’t expecting Jason to be behind him suddenly.

He’s not dressed in any sort of identifiable style, definitely not League or gang affiliated and not a mask. Tim doesn’t scream and Jason picks him up by his jacket and shakes him in minor frustration.

“I swear you had better instincts than this. Seriously kid, tell me you’re not this reckless. I’m surprised the Bats haven’t already had to clean you off pavement.”

“What are you doing up here?”

“Bzzt, wrong question. Actually, no questions, you shouldn’t be up here and following a shady guy in the dark.”

“What’s the right question?”

“What am I gonna do with you?”

Tim freezes, maybe sinking in a bit how stupid that was but the guys seems to be asking himself more than telling Tim that was the question.

“That’s the right question?”

“What? Yes, if your cover’s blown it’s important to assess how you’ll be appraised and know what the person will do with you. Also called a secondary cover or ploy. Always make sure you have a plausible reason for where being somewhere you shouldn’t be. And if you can’t, have a quick escape.”

“Why would you tell me that?”

“Second tip kid, the questions you ask a suspect inform on what information you have. Don’t get too close to the topic you’re most interested in or you’ll give yourself away.”

“A suspect?”

“How else would you describe me?”

The guy’s grip changes and Tim feels something sharp prick his neck. He feels true panic and hears vaguely, “control your response next time because adrenaline makes your heart spread a sedative in your blood stream faster if you’re panicked. You’ll thank me later, kid.”

When Tim wakes up, it’s to two gloved fingers pressed beneath his jaw. Checking his pulse He can’t get his eyes open yet, but he can hear voices.

(Jason tied Tim up, lit the batsignal, and left a flash drive pinned to Tim’s chest. It explains his home situation, how long he’s been following the Bats, and that he knows their identities.)

*Scenes from a fic I’ll probably never write. Mostly just notes app things. Outtakes below the cut.

“Seriously?! The Batsignal?!

“It was that or leave you in the cave for Alfred, and the Batsignal was less confrontational.”

“And lazy, what, you couldn’t wipe the feed?”

“I can wipe the batcomputer faster than you, I’ve been hiding shit from Bruce since before you were in spandex. But tipping our hand that early? You’re not usually this stupid, Timmy.”

“Just shocked by your self control by not picking the most nuclear option.”

“The most nuclear option would have been holding you hostage and having a good ol’ fashioned stand off with the Bat. Maybe mail him your spleen as motivation.”

“Fuck you. I already took care of Ra’s - he’ll keep his spleen this time.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

[thoughtscout]

I agree that I am indeed concerned about skepticism surrounding the nature of someone else's sex, on the grounds that natural variations in biology can create factors that might make a woman appear more "masculine" in the eyes of society - and these traits are greatly stigmatized for the women who have them. height, greater amounts of body hair, breadth and muscle mass are all things that are targeted as being "unattractive" and "un-womanly" on account of them being stereotypically "un-feminine".

but isn't it interesting how the trans movement feels the need to constantly hide behind womens' natural biological variance, or even just gender nonconforming women, as if their existence only exists to protect the identities of males who identify as women? I've noticed that these days, people rarely seem interested in defending the existence of body-variant and GNC women, unless it's to prop up the fact that people who were born male are inevitably going to display some identifiably "masculine" bodily traits, even post-transition. we've hardly even worked on destigmatizing the existence of these "un-feminine" women, who are still widely looked down upon by most of society, and yet they are being used as a somehow "positive" voice for the trans community. why is that?

furthermore, isn't it also misogyny to imagine that there is a list of things a male can do to their body in order to make it irrefutably a "woman"'s body? things like growing long hair, wearing makeup, shaving body hair, taking estrogen to attempt to feminize features and develop larger breasts - all of these are marketed by the trans community as forms of "gender-affirming care." how exactly do these things "affirm" a sense of woman-hood, if a woman could just as well have short hair, wear no makeup, never shave, and have a "masculine" appearing body with a small chest?

I think something tremendously important to keep in mind is that you should absolutely be hearing alarm bells in your head if women (especially feminists) are being accused of harbouring and exercising somehow more misogyny than their trans movement counterparts. it's classic victim-blaming, a political silencing strategy that has been used since the first wave.

hence, I care little for 'transvestigators' who are men or position themselves on the conservative end of the political spectrum. their opinions don't greatly concern me. if I saw a woman questioning someone's unclear sex from a place of self-interest and/or a feminist perspective on the other hand, I would naturally want to advise her some amount of caution to prevent from jumping to conclusion. however, I think it does a great and frankly insulting deal of disservice to our assumptions of womens' intelligence to imply that she would be completely incapable of identifying someone else's sex based on visual cues.

it is honestly a little bit frightful that one of the default defensive positions trans activists tend to take is along the lines of "well, you can never really know what sex that person is," as if we're trying to just... essentially gaslight women into not being able to believe their own eyes, and what their own senses & knowledge are telling them. interpreting someone's sex based on visual, physical clues is completely natural, and is a normal and intentional part of human psychology. if a woman is in a vulnerable situation, or simply wants to set a boundary that keeps her within the presence of her own sex, she is entitled to do that.

the fact that there isn't a 100%, 10 times out of 10 reliable way to identify every single person's sex, doesn't mean that women shouldn't be allowed to know the sex of a person when it's important to her, or that sex is a completely neutral factor of someone's body that should be treated as completely irrelevant in every single setting and situation. maybe there are places in society where it should be more neutral, but certainly not everywhere, and we're a long way off from things being good, safe and equal enough where someone's sex doesn't matter whatsoever.

It’s wild to me to see transvestigator conspiracy theories online that could be so easily explained by natural human variation. That woman has a deep voice? Yeah, sometimes they do. A woman has broad shoulders?? Maybe she plays rugby or hits the gym a fuckton. There’s a “bulge” in her tight pants?? Maybe her vulva is just fat. All the “markers” of trans woman that transvestigators use to harass any woman aren’t even things unique to trans women.

[defire]

As an abuse survivor, you are just fetishizing child abuse. Plain and simple. Call it a coping mechanism or a power take-back all you want, but it's just an excuse to write porn about child abuse. I pity people like you, truly, I do. I can only pray that you eventually see a therapist about your internalized pedo behavior.

Cw: RANCID ask ⬆️

I'm so glad you brought this up because I don't like to speak for people like you--I'd rather combat these opinions directly.

Since you're praying, I'll feel free to make biblical allusions. (Tw)

First, the word "fetish". My opinion: I don't find fetishes or porn too helpful for processing trauma--it's more like exposure therapy. At some point you do need to actually grieve and process what happened. I don't judge those who do that (you're not hurting anybody♥️), but that's not what Survivor Fiction is for.

When you're judging whether something is bad or good, you can use the "tree by its fruits" concept. Basically, if a tree produces good fruit, it's a good tree. If it produces bad fruit, it's a diseased/bad tree.

So let's look at what Survivor Fiction does for survivors specifically.

It brings healing. I (a new author!) have already received five testimonies that have said how much my writing helped them move through some of their trauma and see things in a different, calmer way.

Survivor Fiction brings peace. A surprising amount of the community--90.5% in a poll involving 1,543 voters--use whump stories to go to sleep at night. (Many trauma survivors have difficulty sleeping from flashbacks. Fiction along the same lines can offer an appropriate sense of distance from the fear.)

It helps disabled people. It appears that a strong majority of our community is autistic. Part of the diagnosis is emotional dysregulation. We need to be walked through how to do things in great detail. Survivor Fiction often walks the reader through the process of trauma, reaction, ptsd, and recovery.

It spreads awareness. Survivor fiction is often more accurate to real-life abusive situations instead of glossing it over--in other words, LYING--about what goes on. This can bring a 3rd party perspective to a current victim too, giving them the understanding that they are being abused and need to escape if possible.

For a more thorough explanation of why fiction about survivors is good and necessary, see this post.

Okay, so would "bad fruit" look like? Do you see any of the following from our community? ↙️

Doing these things in real life

Being generally hurtful of others

Hurting children in real life

Harming emotions by pushing unwanted content to people who would be triggered by it? (Quite the opposite, we tend to post exhaustive content warnings before the content.)

Something else that's actually wrong and not just a thought crime?

And here's the fruit of your words, which I'm sure we all heard the jist of many times before:

You encourage covering up evil. Trying to hide fiction that more accurately describes pain, abuse, and PTSD means hiding the truth. Stifling the exposure of just how evil it is to abuse someone like this. The righteous walk in the light, but the wicked hide their deeds in the darkness.

Your words are shaming. Shame causes pain to fester and act out in harmful ways, such as repeating abuse cycles, self-harm, and dangerous overreactions. Christian ideology here--shame is what caused Adam and Eve to hide from God.

You are lying. You implied that we harm people in real life without any reason to think so. And also implied that we want to be in the aggressor's position. Generally speaking we identify most with the victim.

Referencing Christianity here, if you're christian--Your words condemn the Bible. The bible is full of stories much darker than most of what is written here. You'll read about rape, and the cannibalism of one's own children in Lamentations, among other things.

You're hurting yourself. You will be judged with the measure you judge others with. This is because if you judge others harshly for their thoughts, you'll instinctively judge yourself just as harshly. You end up hurting yourself and others over something that wasn't even doing any harm in the first place.

Causing confusion. What you said was illogical. If it's fiction where the damage occurs, we should be blaming the fictional aggressor--not the writer reporting it. If it's reality where the damage occurs, we should be blaming real criminals--not the journalist. The truth is that writing about survivors isn't generally harmful.

In short, you're creating a lot of problems and not helping. Did this ask come from a loving place?

This answer I'm giving, does.

[five-rivers]

Ancestral Chapter 26

New Ancestral chapter! You can also read it on my AO3.

.

Because Danny's life was a joke, he had Vlad's number saved to his phone.  

The man had beaten him up, kidnapped him, tortured him, cloned him, and had professed a strong desire to kill his Dad - not to mention a desire for homicide in general - but there he was on Danny's contact list.  It was ridiculous.  But having a way to contact the fruitloop was too useful for Danny to just delete or block him.  

For example, this situation.  

“Are you sure about this?” asked Danny scrolling down to ‘F’ for ‘Fruitloop.’  “He's kind of like rats.  Once he gets into somewhere, he's a pain to get rid of.”

“I'm unclear what is stopping him now, if so,” said Gwensyvyr.  “As you said, he can fly, can he not?”

“I…”  Danny frowned down at his phone.  “Personal comfort?  Here to Britain is pretty long.  And cold.  And he might want to be here in his civilian persona, not just as a ghost.  I think that's most likely, really.”

“Ah, he keeps that secret, then?”

“Yeah,” said Danny.  “Otherwise my parents would probably kill him, and he loves flirting with Mom.”

“Then I think he should not be so hard to handle, after all.  We shall use him.”  She nodded decisively.  “And if he should forget his place and proposition your mother so brazenly, we shall simply kill him.”

“Okay,” said Danny, looking up from his phone.  “I think- I think that's going a little far, actually.”

“As short-sighted as Madlyn is, she is a lady, and one of my descendants,” said Gwensyvyr.  “No one should take liberties, unless she wills it.”  She paused.  “But the killing was, in this case, metaphorical.”

Danny squinted at her.  He couldn’t tell if she was lying or not.  

“Go on, then.  Call this poorly behaved and very wealthy lunatic of yours.”

“He’s not my anything.  He’s not even my archenemy.”

Gwensyvyr, floating as if lying down on something, propped her head on her knuckles.  “Oh?  Who is?  Pariah Dark?”

“That, um…  No.  I only fought the guy the one time, so…”  He shook his head, suddenly embarrassed by the whole thing and not wanting to admit that his archenemy was Dash.  “It’s not anyone you’d know.  It’s stupid.”  He pressed the call button, then the speakerphone button, so Gwensyvyr could hear.  

The phone rang.

.

Vlad Masters was not a man used to being stymied. 

What few doors his prodigious wealth could not open, his ghost powers allowed him to bypass entirely.  Not to mention his dashing good looks and charming personality.  

And yet, stymied he was.  

He shouldn’t have been, by his own calculations.  Avlynys wasn’t any richer than any other tiny European country, and should have been just as ripe for bribery.  However, it seemed impervious.  At least, on the part of official channels that would have allowed him to exist within the country publicly - and pursue his courtship of dear Madeline.

(Surely, her family couldn’t approve of Jack.  The man was a boar.  A common boar.  Meanwhile, Vlad had both refinement and wealth.)

There were likely dozens of smugglers of the underclass that would take him to the islands, of course, as even under the current circumstances people still needed to eat and other necessities still had to be imported or exported.  He didn’t care about those.  If he wanted to get to Avlynys on the sly, he could just fly over on his own.

He was tempted to overshadow the officials involved, but considering that the injunction on travel came from the highest levels of the Avlynysan government, and that the Avlynysan government was very small, and also in regular contact with the few people who could reliably identify an overshadowing… and although Vlad was seventy percent sure that the heir presumptive to the throne, Matthew Dyrys, didn’t truly believe that Daniel had any special powers, well…  There was always the chance that after the incident with the ghost, he would take Daniel more seriously than most adults would take a teenager.  

But he wasn’t entirely out of options.  A man like himself never was.  As he’d said, certain necessities were still moving in and out of the country, and Avlynys had businessmen as well.  People who could make the argument that he could provide vital services, and who could pressure the appropriate politicians.  However, the price was sure to be steep, and the process would be a lengthy one.  

It was annoying.  

More annoying was the fact that his contact, a representative of the French branch of an Avlynysan company, was late.  They should treat someone like Vlad with more courtesy.  He wasn’t at all used to being kept waiting.  

He checked his watch again and wondered, with a malice so practiced that it was almost idle, if the man was conducting some sort of power play, or if he was just incompetent.  Perhaps, after this, he would put some effort into ruining him.  

“Excuse me, Mr. Masters?”  The one asking was a relatively young blond man with flyaway, slightly thinning hair, broad shoulders, and an accent Vlad was coming to recognize as Avlynysan.

“Ah,” said Vlad, looking up and smiling politely.  “You must be Mr… Ambeej?  Am I pronouncing that correctly?”  His eyes slid pointedly to the blond man’s companion, a middle-aged woman with pearly white hair and watery eyes.  

“Ymbyge,” said the blond man, who flashed a quick smile back at Vlad.  “But don’t worry, no one gets it right on the first try.  Please, call me Christian  I’m sorry for how late I am, but I was consulting with my German counterpart, Ms. Shoenhauer.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said the woman.  Her accent was German.  

“You’re not Avlynysan?”

“Avlynyse,” interjected Mr. Ymbyge. 

“We are an international company, Mr. Masters,” said Ms. Shoenhauer, sitting at the table and smoothing the tablecloth in front of her.  “But my family has had much to do with Avlynys in the past.  It is very important to us.”

“I see,” said Vlad.  

“So!” said Mr. Ymbyge.  “What did you want to talk about?  There’s been a lot of interest in our little country recently, but you stand out even with that…”

Of course Vlad stood out.  His business had nothing to do with the assassinations and the recent international commotion and everything to do with his long-standing personal interest in Maddie and Daniel.  

“I was close with Princess Madeline in college,” said Vlad.  It was something that anyone with a brain should have researched already, but he knew that it would also make helping him a much more attractive proposition for people like these.  “I want to offer her all the help I can during this trying time, whether it be emotional, financial or political, but as it stands, it is very difficult to offer such things when I am stuck here.”  He shrugged, projecting - literally, with ghost powers - an air of self-depreciation.  

“Wow, that’s sure something,” said Mr. Ymbyge.  “But–”

Vlad’s phone rang.  “A moment.”  He could make power-plays as well.  They were, in fact, his favorite game.  Besides, it would do well for these two to know where they stood.

The caller ID displayed the words ‘LITTLE BADGER.’  What was Daniel doing, calling him?  Based on Daniel’s normal behavior, Vlad would have expected Daniel to practically forget that Vlad existed.  

Unless, of course, he’d gotten in over his head.  

“Excuse me,” said Vlad, barely glancing at Mr. Ymbyge and Ms. Shoenhauer.  “I have to take this.”  He stepped away from the table and towards the restaurant's lavish bathrooms.  As soon as he was out of sight, he turned invisible and flew up.  No need to risk eavesdroppers.  

He let the phone ring a third time.  No need to let Daniel think he was rushing.

.

Vlad picked up the phone.

“Oh, Daniel, to what do I owe the pleasure?  Now that you’re an internationally renowned prince and sorcerer–”

While syvyr could be translated as ‘sorcerer,’ ledyn absolutely didn’t mean prince.  At all.  But Danny knew that if he let himself get sidetracked, he and Vlad would wind up arguing about toilet paper or something equally banal and ludicrous.  “Listen, I know you’re trying to get into the country legitimately, and–”

Vlad sighed loudly.  “And you want to stop me, I suppose?  You’re as predictable as always–”

“I can get you in, but you need to do something for me first.”

There was a pause.  “Pardon?”

“I want to make a deal with you.  You do something for me, I do something for you.  You do know how making deals works, right?  You can’t have overshadowed people for everything.”

“I’ll have you know that most of my business arrangements are perfectly legitimate.”

“Doubt,” said Danny.  “But do you want in?  Because otherwise I don’t want to waste my time listening to your voice.”

“What guarantee do I have that you would keep your side of the bargain?  You and your sister haven’t been entirely honest with me in the past.”

“Well, first off, that was when you kidnapped me; secondly, we didn’t have a deal, then.  I was just lying to you.”  He saw Gwensyvyr’s eyebrows go up and winced.  Hopefully, that didn’t lower her opinion of him.  “I’ve kept every deal we’ve made, even when you haven’t.”

Vlad made a disgruntled noise.  “How would you even accomplish such a task?  You’re a teenager and–”

“I’m currently living in the same house as the next ruler of Avlynys,” said Danny, which was a true statement no matter who wound up taking the throne, “and like you said, I’m an internationally renowned sorcerer.  Besides, when I tell you what I want you to do, you’ll understand.”

“What is it, exactly, that you want me to do?  You’ve never asked for my help with any ghosts before, and considering your performance against the ghost at that Moon Masque, I can’t imagine that you would start now.”

“Yeah, well, what I need right now doesn’t have to do with ghosts.”

“Well,” said Vlad, “I’d have to hear what you want before I can agree or disagree to anything.  You understand.”

Danny looked up at Gwensyvyr, who was frowning down at the phone.  She glanced back at Danny, then spoke to the phone.  “As one of your standing ought to–”

“Who is that?  That isn’t Jasmine.  Daniel, you didn’t–”

“She’s a ghost,” said Danny before Vlad could work himself into a fit, as funny as that would be.  “Most people can’t even see her.  She’s not going to go around spreading your secrets.”

“A shade, then,” said Vlad, dismissively.  “What does she have to do with this?”

“She’s a relative.”

“One of the dead ones?”

“No,” said Gwensyvyr, sarcastically, “despite being a ghost, I am, in fact, perfectly alive.”

“It has happened before,” said Vlad, equally snide.  “What do you have to do with this?”

“I should expect that it would be self-evident that I want my relatives safe,” said Gwensyvyr.  “I am here to facilitate this negotiation.”

“I suppose it is more convenient to speak to an adult.  So, what is it you want?  A power boost?  Some final request that dear Daniel cannot fulfil?  I suppose he is rather limited.”

“As I was saying,” said Gwensyvyr, rather frostily, “one such as yourself should know the value of information by itself.  We will explain, but we require something in exchange.”

“Yes?  What’s that?”

“All your records of little Danyel.”

“Daniel’s records?  What makes you think–?”

“No, not Dannyl’s.  Danyel’s.  The girl’s.”

“Danielle’s,” said Danny.  Gwensyvyr’s pronunciation wasn’t that far off the English, but it wasn’t like Daniel and Danielle were all that different as names to begin with.  

“Fine,” said Vlad.  “But I won’t be able to do anything about it until I return home, and I’m in France at the moment.  So if what you want from me is time sensitive in any way, you should tell me now.”

Gwensyvyr nodded.  “Right,” said Danny.  “Well, have you ever heard of Revyvtech?”

.

Vlad raised an eyebrow, then looked down at the restaurant where two Revyvtech employees were currently waiting to speak to him.  “A time or two.  Why?”

“We’re pretty sure they’re behind the assassinations, and they used something like blood blossoms to do it.”

“Blood blossoms?  They don’t work on humans.”

“But they do work on liminals.  Do you think I just happened to have a knife that worked on ghosts with me at the Moon Masque, or that Mom just threw darts at a board to decide what she was going to do with her life?  Avlynys is a thin spot.”

Vlad pressed his lips together.  It wasn’t as if this would be the first time he used people who wanted to do him harm - the GIW were one such example - but it did make things so much more difficult.  “And you want me to what?  Investigate them?  Fight them?”

“No.  Aunt Alicia is in a coma, back in Arkansas.  We can’t check her out of the hospital she’s at, because her security team doesn’t count as family and the rest of us are all the way over here.  They’ve sent us pictures of her hooked up to a bunch of Revyvtech stuff, though, so we’re pretty sure they’re keeping her in a coma even if we don’t know why.  We want you to figure out what they’re giving her and get her to Avlynys.”

“And how do you expect me to do that when the hospital will only discharge her to family?” asked Vlad. 

“I don’t know, money boy.  Bribe them.  Or overshadow everyone in the hospital.  It’s what you did to get elected, isn’t it?”

“That part will be easy, yes, but I was talking about determining what medicines she’s on, Daniel,” said Vlad, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  

“Hey, you’re the one always bragging to me about how much you know about ghosts.  Use some of that.  None of us here know exactly what they’re using or what they’re doing, which is why we want you to look into it.  Or at least get Aunt Alicia.  Either way, if you show up with Aunt Alicia, you’ll be let in.”

To be fair, Daniel had been right when he said that it would be clear why they would let him in if he completed ‘his side’ of the deal.  Vlad considered his options.  On one hand, he would very much prefer not to do anything Daniel said, simply on principle.  On the other, the business with Revyvtech sounded potentially dangerous to him as well, especially if they were going around poisoning people with blood blossoms.  Retrieving Alicia would likely gain him the favor of Maddie as well.  She did love her sister, for reasons that, quite frankly, escaped Vlad.  

And being trapped in a hospital like that was a fate he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.  

“Very well,” said Vlad.  “May I assume you’ll be telling this ‘security team’ to expect me?”

“Yeah, fruitloop.  I’m not trying to get you killed.  I want Aunt Alicia to get here safely.”

“That’s hardly what I’m worried about, Daniel.”

“Well, I am.”

Vlad smiled.  “Oh, really?  I’m flattered, Daniel.”

As expected, Daniel hung up.  Vlad shook his head.  Teenagers!

[abnormalcandylimbs]

1. What category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

Polymorph alterhuman, otherkin, copinglinker, otherhearted, fictionkin.

2. What/who is/are your types?

Polymorph and harpy otherkin. Specifically, polymorph cladokin and harpy cladokin. (Also polymorph alterhuman.)

I identify as all types of harpies, from the ones that are just birds with women heads, to the gangly rotting hags, to the fluffy feathered feral bird women.

I also identify as all type of polymorphs and I identify as the overall state of being a polymorph.

And I’m Joel Dawson fictionkin from the 2020 movie Love and Monsters.

3. Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

I experience shifts. My most common are mental shifts and then phantom shifts.

Strangest cameo shifts: As a polymorphkin, I get cameo shifts all the time. I was at Giant one time with my dad. I was having a very intense (what I think was a) dragon cameo shift. I could feel fangs, snout, a tail, claws, and wings. I was making what was probably weird facial expressions as I was trying to get used to the feeling of the muzzle and fangs.

As I started stretching out the wings, this little girl and her mom walked by me and, I kid you not!, the girl’s face lit up with joy and wonder, pointed and looked up at me in the eyes, and said “A dragon! 😃”. The mom then yanked her away and said something like “Don’t point at people.” Lmao.

My dad was so weirded out and confused lol. 😂 But I was so happy. <3 I wish that I could have been a harpy shift that was noticed, but this was still an incredible experience that I’ll always remember.

And yes I did look behind me and no, there were no dragon items behind me.

4. How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

Hmm. Well, I see myself as a harpy that just doesn’t have feathers nor wings. I try to incorporate aspects of harpies into everyday life.

Also on all levels but physical I am a polymorph. Literally I do shapeshift, just not physically. (If that at all makes sense lol😅?) I am constantly copying, reflected, and shifting (nonphysically) depending on what’s around me, to fit in my environment.

5. What do you think of the community?

Overall I love it. I love how welcoming it is. And I love how a week or so ago I (a harpy) drove a siren and then had dinner with some werewolves haha. I do wish there wasn’t so much petty drama whenever someone doesn’t believe in everything the other person believes in. What happened to this being highly theoretical and based on nonproven stuff?

If we want to cancel someone it should be because they are genuine danger to society or to the community. Not because they didn’t tag your identity in a post or because you don’t like their hobbies.

(Not saying this happened recently, just that when it happens it makes me roll my eyes.)

6. What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

My gear, shawls and warm loose sweaters, sun bathing, bitting individual seeds off granola bars, overeating 🥲, vocals, drone videos, bone collecting and cleaning, collecting shinies, jewelry, corvidcore and cryptidcore clothing, eating Greek food.

Things that make me feel overall nonhuman and/or animalistic. Floating in water, practicing mimicking the movements/body language of animals and people, mimicking animal noises, drawing.

7. Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

Yes. It’s not as bad as when I was younger, when seeing my reflection would cause me to fall to the ground crying. But it is still there.

8. What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

Take your time. There is no rush to find yourself.

Also use vague wording when journaling. Example: “I had a wolf snout shift=❌” , “I had a phantom shift of a long snout that was pointed and had sharp but strong teeth and fur=✅”

9. Do you have/want to have gears?

I have a pair of wings and tail feathers made of foam. Ear cuffs with feathers. A yarn tail. A mask of my copinglink type and a harpy mask. Some collars and a harness. Lots of jewelry. Shawls and cozy sweaters. Fangs. Bird feet.

10. Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

For being a polymorph, it’s a mess of reasons. 😅 For being a harpy, I don’t really know. For being Joel Dawson, it’s solely spiritual. TLDR Do to isolation from people I imprinted on many animals. I derived my behaviors and instincts from animals, instead of people.

Yeah it’s complicated. If you’d like to know more read this old Amino post. It’s a bit outdated when it talks about my mental health, medication, and sexuality, but overall it’s still very accurate! :)

http://aminoapps.com/p/yld4a20

11. Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!

@meowing-creature

@vulpenthefox

:3 Would love to read what you guys say! (Also I’m sorry if you’ve already completed this.😅)

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[firinnie]

In a previous stream some time ago, Jay said the SA of Odysseus by Calypso would not actually be in Epic. In the canon of Epic, she didn't assault him. She kept him trapped and tried to make him fall in love with her, but canonically, there was apparently no sexual assault.

His reasoning for not including Odysseus being assaulted?

It made him personally uncomfortable.

And then he goes and has THAT animated and includes THAT section in his musical. And continually makes references to women being assaulted in the musical via characters like Zeus.

I don't want to make accusations, but I'm thinking Jay has some internalized misogyny he needs to work through.

Oh shoot, I didn't know that fact. I just now listened to both Calypso songs specifically with the original animations and indeed, you can only look hard for something besides "love".

I think Jay feels so identified with Odysseus at that moment that he could have intentionally spared men from that. Aaand that's bad because it makes the goddess who kidnapped the mortal again more of a victim than a persecutor.

Secondly, the suitors had no interest in raping Penelope. This justifies Odysseus even more and makes us see the suitors as a monster greater than the king, and that defeats the purpose.

Besides, this animation, so precise…

I think that a woman as a potential rapist is something incredible for this type of art, in the Iliad we saw what happened to women after losing the war in Troy, and now we had a refreshment and showing that a man can also be a victim. And here it was just taken away and replaced with an unnecessary scheme. Penelope is tragic enough, she doesn't need what happened to her, even in imagination.

[someonesrealityshifting]

.・✭・. Body Explanation .・✭・. ・

✭ I want top surgery but not bottom, and I've decided my scars will look something like these.

✭ I want a shit ton of tattoos and piercings, many of which being nerd based; an Icarus tattoo, the deathly hallows, I have a plan for a Marauders tattoo I want and can't wait to have.

✭ I don't want to be pudgy anymore, so I'm glad I've been losing weight and keeping it off. I can't wait for the 3D to catch up so I can have my pretty abs <3.

✭ I couldn't find any proper pictures of what my hair looks like in the 4D, but it's kind of long and shaggy and curly and really fun and easy to play with. I trim it often, too, so I can dye it whatever color I want without any damage. It's naturally this super pretty shade of really dark brown and I love it so much. I especially love dying strips or parts of it one color or another, just as pretty highlights.

✭ I don't want to get rid of my chronic pain, but I do want to give myself access to better mobility aids. At this point, my joint pain is something I identify with, something that is a part of me and makes me, me. But in the old story, I only had shitty knee braces and no form of cane or crutch for bad days. Luckily, in reality, I have an assortment of really cool canes and braces that actually help, plus I have a sling I can use for the worst days with my shoulder.

✭ My style is a mix of goblin/gremlin-core and fairy grunge, and I never run out of things to wear. I always have a chunky pair of boots or a soft sweater to cuddle up in, and I always always always feel confident in my outfits and body.

✭ My eyes are a pretty green with central heterochromia, because that's also something from my old story I want to take with me. I love the way they shine in the sun when I'm outside or waking up in the morning to the sunlight streaming through my window.

✭ I'm also not getting rid of my mental illness, because I want the people who I'm manifesting to love me not despite but regardless. Because sometimes I can't eat, or I forget to, or I start a hundred tasks and finish 2, but I'm still worthy of love, dammit, and I still need cuddles and lovin.

[docholligay]

And here we see Waymond's moment of fantasy! That Evelyn would show him tenderness, that she would be the kind of person who would kiss his cheek in the middle of the IRS building. He wants so badly to find a way to reach her, even now hoping that maybe a trip would be something to bring them together. But Evelyn is so trapped in the immediacy of the problem that, I gotta say she definitely, absolutely helped cause--those write offs are dodgy as fuck, and I say that as someone who also does her own self-employment taxes--that she can't see the absolute fucking cascade of problems that is coming her way.

Evelyn's tragedy is that she is a woman so consumed by her past: The choices she made, her father's disapproval, etc, that she is letting it destroy her present (Her marriage with Waymond) and her future (Her relationship with Joy). She is so hung up on making that Evelyn, the one who might have been prided on by her father, who might have pursued acting, who might have been more successful, a part of who she is now, that is she is completely missing out on both who she is, and who she could become.

How often do people do that? How often do people get locked into constantly reliving and re-litigating their pasts, and identifying with particularly the bad things that have happened to them, that they do not understand they are sacrificing the living flesh of the now to the dead god of the past? I don't think evelyn is a unique case in this. I think it's a fucking tar pit, to get trapped in your past. I think it can happy so slowly you don't realize you've doomed yourself.

[marsreds]

Ough ough ough, you're cooking with this!! Because this ties it all so nicely and like. The laying out of the various ways it could've gone and who is actually good for Zaun/the Undercity.

What I mean is that if you look it as Jinx=Zaun you also get to project all these other relationships as metaphor for how all these characters (and their ideologies) interact with the idea of Zaun (in season 1):

Sevika being single-mindedly furious and uncompromising which can only lead to something breaking down the line.

Ekko who claims to reject it, but when it comes to it, he can't let it go. Stripped of all, he does in fact want a free Zaun, even when it's to his detriment. (Boy Savior indeed.)

Caitlyn is just. Terrified but can't manage to take the shot, because no matter how much Piltover tries to stomp it out it's not gonna happen.

Silco who loves her/Zaun with all of his being, identifies with her/its suffering but in spite of all of that, he's just not what she/it needs but he's also, due to circumstance, the only one she/it has at the time.

Vi is the odd one out here in this reading imo, but I also think that is intentional because Vi was always supposed to pick her sister over anything else, and that means transcending the metaphor and caring for Powder/Jinx the person, once the synthesis happens in her mind. But thinking about it, even that fits because Zaun the ideal is worth nothing if it isn't centered on people coming together in community.

Anyways, Arcane season one you will always be famous.

Arcane S2 wasn't as good because it wasn't about air

The common critique of Arcane season two was that "it didn't let the story breathe." I'm going to one-up that and state that season one set up an entire story about breathing and forgot that in season two.

Yes, yes, Arcane was a story about Piltover oppressing the undercity, but unlike a lot of other stories about social stratification, Arcane was very explicit about the methods Piltover uses to disenfranchise Zaun. Season one was clearly a story about eco-apartheid maintained through extractivist practices.

WHAT IS ECO-APARTHEID?

Ecological apartheid (also known as enviromental racism) is a form of disenfranchising and spatially separating a class of people through pollution, exploitation, and abuse of their local environment.

[E]nvironmental apartheid was largely instituted through rural marginalization, the use of rural space as an environmental means of marginalization... - Environmental apartheid: Eco-health and rural marginalization in South Africa

Topside and the undercity are basically one nation state with a blindingly stark fence between them. Piltover and Zaun are simultaneously connected and separated by the Bridge of Progress. Progress unites them and alienates them from one another. Progress is why Piltover is wealthy and clean, and it is why Zaun is impoverished and polluted. It is was on the Bridge of Progress that Silco incited the riot that led to Vi and Powder's orphaning and Vander's betrayal. It's where Ekko and Jinx have their standoff, and where the Hextech core is exchanged. In other words, progress is a border.

WHAT IS EXTRACTIVISM?

Prior to the proliferation of shimmer and the chembarons, industry in the undercity appears to be heavily centralized around one thing — fissure mining. Vi and Powder's parents used to be miners along with Vander and Silco. Jayce and Vi visit one of these mines and she explains the masks the workers use. Oh, and let's not forget the children don't have to yearn for the mines when they're dying in the mines!

The Zaunites' livelihood being dependant on the extraction of natural resources for the benefit of the Piltovans is what is known as extractivism — the exploitation of a resource-rich land and its people by a separate "global North."

In practice, extractivism has been a mechanism of colonial and neocolonial plunder and appropriation. This extractivism, which has appeared in different guises over time, was forged in the exploitation of the raw materials essential for the industrial development and prosperity of the global North. - Extractivism and neoextractivism: two sides of the same curse

The "North," in this case, clearly being Piltover. The resources being abused and exploited here aren't only the fissure mines, but also the bodies of the workers and those born around them. Viktor's illness, for example, is a product of growing up around the gaseous waste of the fissure mines. The Zaunites take the brunt of the side-effects of the pollution so that the topsiders don't have to. The "dregs" are kept below while materials, both people and things, that are deemed useful get to rise to the top. The processing of raw materials and shipping happens in Piltover, so it's the Piltovans who get a final say on the profits.

Silco and the chembarons establish their power by creating an industry that operates outside of fissure mining that doesn't rely on the patronage of the global North. Needless to say, drug dealing isn't exactly a noble trade, but extraction, processing, and distribution are mainly controlled and operated by Zaunites, which allows them a source of wealth and power that they can leverage against Piltover. To use a more recognizable phrase, they own the means of shimmer production.

I find it fascinating that shimmer is made by killing innocent underground creatures. Cannibalizing your own kind for a temporary boost of strength that eventually turns the user into a monster? It's a poignant metaphor about the infighting of not just the chembarons' gangs but of oppressed groups in general. And while shimmer offers power and brings in wealth, that's not what the undercity truly needs and only corrupts it even further.

Nah, the show has been very clear that what Zaun needs is breathable air.

SEASON 2 FORGOT ABOUT AIR

Even outside of the air pollution caused by fissure mining, the theme of breathing and air is everywhere in season one. Ekko and the Firelights' community is built around a tree — the clean air it provides is the reason they've been able to sustain themselves. It is considered an oasis in polluted Zaun. Jinx's is often heralded by brightly colored smoke, and the way she signals to Violet is through a flare that emits it. Silco's altercation with Vander involves him almost drowning — Vander literally choking the air out of him. Silco, in reponse to this traumatic event, teaches Jinx to willingly submerge herself in a place without air by baptizing her in the same filthy water he was choked in.

In other words, air is life and purpose. Zaun's aesthetics are defined by gas masks and smoke. Meanwhile, the scenes in Piltover are clean and clear. Ekko and the Firelights' tree represented hope and the possibility of clean air in Zaun. Viktor was similarly associated to flowers that grew in the underground, symbolizing how beautiful things can live even in the harshest circumstances.

Environmental degradation, more specifically air pollution, is the raison d'être of topside-undercity conflict. Silco says as much when he threatens the other chembarons and reminds them of why he's in charge.

Have you forgotten where we came from? The mines they had us in? Air so thick it clogs your throat — stuck in your eyes. I pulled you all up from the depths, offered you a taste of topside and fresh air. I gave you life. Purpose. But you've grown fat and complacent, too much time in the sun. We came from a world where there was never enough to go around. That is why we fight. Do you remember? - The Boy Savior, Arcane S01E07

But by the second and third acts of season two, pollution may not as well exist in Zaun. How does Viktor's commune plant its flowers and grow its fruits? Does the Firelights' tree ever get cured of its corruption? Did everyone forget that the undercity is literally suffocating? Seriously, why is Ekko's storyline with the tree never resolved? Why give Jinx that monologue about a wispy goddess of air the fissurefolk pray to and never go anywhere with it?

JINX SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASSOCIATED TO JANNA

The Grey presented an opportunity for Jinx to be the revolutionary hero Arcane wanted her to be. The enforcers have clearly aligned themselves with pollution and poison, and Jinx could have been the herald of their wind goddess come to answer the people's prayers for relief. But the people don't rally behind Jinx because of her association to Janna, clean air, or her repelling the invading cops using bioweapons.

I firmly believe that Jinx being a symbol of the revolution because she blew up a government building is missing a few steps. She'll get radicals who already hated Piltover behind her, sure, but the everyday Zaunite would more likely blame her for causing chaos and bringing trouble to their streets. Because the average person doesn't really care who's on the council or if a politician so far from them dies. But they do care if the cops are suddenly at their door with tear gas because an extremist junkie decided to commit arson.

The first act of season two had me very optimistic that the show was picking up where it left off with its enviromental themes. The enforcers use The Grey, polluted air, to surpress dissent and hunt down Jinx. Jinx fights back under a mural of Janna, the goddess of clean air. Her plan involves her using air to push back The Grey and send the gust up to Piltover. After being actively gassed by the enforcers, Jinx and her association to colorful wind becomes a symbol of hope and revolution to the people of the undercity.

Except that's not what happens. The Grey is only shown affecting targeted criminals with no collateral damage to civilians despite it being deployed all over the trenches. The gusts of wind Jinx pushes up to Piltover don't make topsiders experience the air pollution Zaunites suffer. Instead, it just midly inconveniences them with paint splatters. In the end, The Grey is forgotten and has nothing to do with their fight in front of Janna's mural. Caitlyn gets a promotion despite gassing the entire underground with nothing to show for it, and the undercity idolizes Jinx despite her being the reason they were gassed in the first place.

ECOLOGICAL RESTORATION IS INTERPERSONAL RESTORATION

Unlike in the game, Arcane chose topside and the undercity to be originally established as one city — and I don't think that was done without reason. The nation of Zaun and its identity is established as a reaction to the suffering of those underground. A community developed centered around helping one another cope and survive through the pollution. In short, Piltover created Zaun.

Thus, the interplay between Piltover and Zaun extended to all plotlines and the relationships they explored and developed. Jinx and Vi, Vi and Caitlynn, Viktor and Jayce, Ekko and Heimerdinger — these are all relationships that reflect the tension between Zaun and Piltover. Family torn apart by civil war, bitter ex lovers, different ideological approaches to scientific advancement, intuitive inventiveness and practiced genius. Their relationships are born from a common desire and degrade because of that looming border inflicted by the pursuit of progress.

Piltover and Zaun is a single house fractured because of how it threw all its detritus in the basement as it sought to build a tower that will reach the skies. The whole building is threatening to crumble, especially now that someone threw a bomb at it like in the finale of season one. The status quo Arcane and we as a globalized eco-apartheid have is extremely precarious as is any foundation built on abuse and exploitation. A lot of people will cheer on the Jinxes who don't care so much about fixing it than they do burning it all down to express their understandable rage and grief, but that doesn't really fix the problem of having breathable air, does it?

Unfortunately, we'll never know how the show will wrap up the Zaunite plight because it was all but forgotten in season 2. The problem of Zaun was never that they needed to evolve or be perfect — it's that their environment and the people by extension were being suffocated.

In my perfect world, the finale would have addressed the lack of light and clean air in the underground. It would have mirrored how some bodies and relationships can never truly fully recover the damage that has been done. As in real life, restoration is not a substitute for not doing harm in the first place. But it could have ended with a hopeful message that burning it down and running away isn't the answer either.

When Viktor was healing Vander and decided that, despite the unprecedented effort and time, his natural, non-weaponized humanity was worth saving because of how much he means to his local community, I thought that was what they were going for. Alas, they didn't let the show breathe.

[yandere-paramour]

How has noelle developed since being taken in by atalanta? Style, attitude, before vs. now kinda things

I really like this question which is why I've been thinking about it so long (my apologies). This is a continuation of this if y'all have forgotten. Buckle up, this turned into a long one. I hope it is to your liking.

In a way, Noelle is both the same and different than before Ata. Atalanta correctly identified a diamond in the rough and formed Noelle into the powerhouse we know her to be today, and this is why Noelle is so indebted to her.

When Noelle graduated with her her master's in business, she was 23 and living on her own in a shitty studio apartment. She worked part-time in the school's financial aid department filling in spreadsheets and also picked up night shifts at a 24-hour daycare. There was no talk of love; she could barely take care of herself. She was running out of food, running out of money, and running out of time. She needed to use her degree, so she was applying for every business job she possibly could.

She was desperate. She didn't have many warm clothes and survived mostly on what she could scrounge from the dining hall following a shift. She still thought of herself as a frantic trailer-park kid trying to be something she's not, and she lay awake many a night thinking about having to return home in shame. She wanted better for herself, of course she did, she just didn't have much hope. Why would someone take a chance on her when there were other candidates, ones who could afford a suit and could actually get a good night's sleep before class.

At least, until she got a response from a job. She took the free headshots the school provided, borrowed a too-big suit, and went to the kind of restaurant she should've been serving at, not eating at. Atalanta already knew everything about her situation; she had Zachariah look into Noelle well before they met. Not really the usual person working at Montclair Industries, but Ata believes potential is distributed universally; it can come from anywhere.

Atalanta is nothing if not perceptive. She noticed the way Noelle looked at other patrons having business lunches in the restaurant, the way she hunched her shoulders in shame when they stared at her ill-fitting blazer and skirt, how she completely skipped the wine list and didn't seem to recognize anything on the complicated entree menu. Atalanta ordered for the two of them, making a discrete show of her table manners, wanting to see if Noelle took notice and copied her. To Atalanta's delight, she did.

They discussed Noelle's grades, her approaches to problem-solving, her work experience and strengths and weaknesses. Halfway through the entree, Ata sent a pre-written text for one of her bodyguards to come to the table with a fake story about someone crossing the business, and she gave him vague instructions to "take care of it". Noelle barely batted an eye at the somewhat menacing instructions.

Ata waited until dessert to bring up Noelle's... less-than-savory habits. How Zachariah had evidence of her hacking security cameras, how many in disagreement with Noelle were discovered to have malware and keylogging on their computers, the scores of information found on a sweep of her laptop. Atalanta knew exactly what she'd done and appeared to have compiled concrete evidence, enough evidence to ruin her life. Horrified and certain her life was over, Noelle got up to run, but found herself surrounded. All the other customers were gone, and the staff was all in the back kitchen. There was only Atalanta and her bodyguards.

Atalanta politely asked Noelle to sit back down, explaining that she wasn't in trouble. In fact, she was exactly who Ata needed. Atalanta needed a loyal subordinate, one who could do her bidding at a moment's notice, one who would be loyal to the very end and not bother with moralities. Of course, she would be compensated generously. Atalanta slid a thick folder across the table, along with a check for a thousand dollars. Noelle was to read the contract and take some time to think about Ata's offer; the money was so she could take some days off to think without cost to herself. Atalanta would be in touch in 3 days for an answer. After dropping that bombshell, Ata just... gathered her things and left, waving a nonchalant goodbye.

Noelle called in sick that night at the daycare. She was up all night reading through that pile of papers, checking out the window every few minutes, certain she was being watched. A 300k salary, countless benefits, a job she had never dared to even dream of, there was no question what she had to do, especially with the unknown amount of dangerous information looming behind her. She signed them all and hoped she made the right choice. Obviously knowing her choice, Ata sent a guard to pick up the papers early the next morning, along with some fancy chocolates to celebrate with.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind. Atalanta set Noelle up with a new, huge, apartment closer to the office, furnished it to Noelle's liking, and had her moved in. She sent 7 designer suits so Noelle would have something to wear, and ensured she had transportation and her own bodyguard to protect her. Noelle was highly encouraged to tell either the guard or Ata herself if she needed anything, and she would receive it. Atalanta became akin to a goddess for Noelle; In her eyes, Atalanta Montclair had saved her life and given her everything. She might not have died for Ata, but she would suffer a whole lot for her.

The first few months of working at Montclair Industries were difficult, to say the least. The other people were all clean, polished, ignorant of all suffering and privileged from the day they were born. Noelle... wasn't like them. She envied their easy lives and how blessed they were to be in such circumstances. They didn't know how good they had it. Sure, she had been lucky, Ata had taken pity on her, but surely they could smell the poverty on her, surely they knew what she was. It was difficult for her to get settled in such rapid change, and even though Ata was patient and kind, Noelle struggled. Even if she was doing great, she felt she did everything wrong and that she was always in danger of losing her good fortune. Noelle would fight to the death to keep her job, and to her, all coworkers were serpents ready to swoop in and steal her livelihood.

But as time passed, Noelle calmed down a bit. Atalanta pays well, and Noelle was able to both support her sisters and stash away a good bit for herself. She can afford food that's not the scraps of others and hot water in an un-mildewed shower and a bed that's actually comfortable. She learned how to do her job properly and the way the company ran; Atalanta is queen and what she says goes. Noelle might as well be the grand vizier; she has gained Atalanta's favor and thus can influence what she wants. The serpents? Gone and replaced on Noelle's orders with Ata's uncaring permission.

Noelle accompanies Atalanta on business trips around the world and they grow closer, becoming true friends instead of mistress and servant. Noelle is still as compulsive and thorough about her job and life as she always has been (that's just the way she is), but she knows, barring a colossal mistake, she will not be fired. And even if she is, she has enough saved to support herself until she can find something else (she hates even the thought of this though, it's just a contingency plan just in case). She has worked hard enough to secure herself a comfortable and fulfilling career. She has taken care of herself, provided herself the stability and security she has always craved. She gains the confidence we see in her today, and has now evolved into the steady adult Noelle we know and love.

And this is when she finds herself in need of a Darling.

Noelle is 25, right in the middle of the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage. She has money, her own place, a family that loves her, even a supportive friend; the only thing she doesn't have is... a lover. Atalanta has a lover, Noelle has accompanied the woman on many an outing and even sat with her on her earlier, more... rebellious days. And... Noelle finds herself a bit lonely. She's always had her sisters around and... she's not used to coming home to such a large apartment with no one in it. She finds herself quite... wistful. She wants someone to come home to, someone to spend weekends with, someone to love and hold and take care of. She wants to give herself to someone, to let herself be as vulnerable to someone as she can be. As surrounded as she's always been, she's been... alone. And she doesn't want to be alone anymore.

And this is the root of Noelle, of who she has been since the moment of her birth. Deep deep down, what she really craves is security and love, and that will never change.

[bleue-flora]

Hi! I just wanted to Say that I loved your essay about cdream being autistic bc it's been a hc for me for a while and i apreciated seeing someone else who not only shares it but also makes analisys on it.

Like cdream strong sense of justice, how he struggles sometimes with empathy not bc he doesn't have it but bc he feels it differently, how he uses himself as the comparision point with others in sense that if he can with something he thinks others could too, how he can close himself to the world bc he doesn't know how to communicate what he wants in the begining+not knowing how to react when people don't listen to him not matter what he tries or Even if he plays their rules, how he seems to need to move all the time, etc. It's all stuff i identified within myself.

And i liked what You said bc yeah very probably Even if it wasn't intentional cdream was written in a way that can be pretty neurodirvergent coded like ctechno too and their creators being neurodirvergent themselfs very probably had influenced on that. And idk it makes me very happy to think about it :D

I’m so glad you liked it(them) [essay]. :) Honestly, it’s hard for me to even consider it a headcanon and not just canon because it just makes so much sense. And as you pointed out, the neurodivergence of the creators would make sense if their characters were too, given the close connection between both in the dsmp. After all, these creators are not professional actors and a lot of it is improv, so it makes sense that the characters would be neurodivergent if their creator is. I also think it’d be hard to make and play a character like they did with so much improv as neurotypical if they are neurodivergent (and vice versa). Because it’d take lots of extra care to go against your natural self which would be rather hard to do while also improving, so I’d say it kinda is canon in that sense. In other words, assuming Dream (and Techno?) are confirmed neurodivergent, (which I don’t know if that’s for sure) then it makes the most sense for their cs to also be neurodivergent, since it’s unlikely that amateur improvisers making characters linked to themselves and their brand would make characters that don’t align with how they think and see the world…. Anyways I’m glad I’m not alone in my madness. I’ve been thinking about writing some more about it since I did cut quite a bit of my essay(s) that was in my other drafts like more about how autistic people tend to struggle with change, which we see in Dream as he pushes back against L’manberg…

[electricpurrs]

terrible result of me being kinda unhappy with my name and wanting to choose a new name is that now anytime i see a person or a character with a slightly cool name i have to fight the impulse to want to name myself that. what if i named myself juice

[sillymercury]

In the first tags it says most movies/books are not meant to be torn apart but I disagree completely. In fact I think most books/movies are made to dissected and understood on a deeper level. Because whether you like it or not and whether the author meant to or not, books/movies have themes and messages and many people enjoy finding them.

I don’t think it smart to write something(esp things so popular) off as mindless entertainment bc your being fed a message even if you don’t know it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a book despite whatever message is being sent but when you blatantly ignoring the fact that these things exist is how propaganda propagates. If you are being intentionally fed a narrative without knowing you are likely to internalize it on some level which can be particularly dangerous. The danger presents itself abundantly in this day and age especially when you see people who have such hard stances but cant tell you/explain where those stances originate. Sns thrives off of the want to ‘turn your mind off’ and just consume/enjoy, but that’s never what actually happens. Your subconscious is still processing information but since you’re not consciously dealing with it that leaves room for issues like anxiety, depression, and personality disorder. This seems off topic but ‘mindless consumption’ isn’t a thing, your brain keeps score even when you don’t.

Also a book can have multiple “messages” and you can like some and not the others while still enjoying the piece overall. When I truly love a piece of media I acknowledge is flaws and shortcomings and can see the issues with a story/message while still enjoying it thoroughly. An example for me is I enjoyed the book The Picture of Dorian Gray while recognizing and rejecting the way the characters/book discusses and depicts women.

Like in Nestas book specifically, the main themes are empowerment (specifically female) and growth. This book was my favorite in the series and yet I can still acknowledge all the things wrong with it. Main character were incredibly hypocritical throughout the book, verbal abuse was seemingly over looked/excused, Stockholm syndrome parallels, etc. I identify these things but that still doesn’t detract from my experience instead, adds to it.

Another thing I wanted to mention before bringing this to a close; authors. For the sake of not rambling due to personal feelings I’ll just say, there is nothing wrong with calling out behavior or publicly disagreeing with ideals when it come to public figures. How it’s handled, whether it works, or it’s longevity is a different conversation but there is nothing wrong with speaking out against people in the public eye/people who create mass consumed media.

I understand your take, and I agree people take things way to seriously, but I think your frustration may be displaced. I think the issue with ACOTAR fandom specifically is the same issue with most fandoms. People are delusional, mean, and spoiled. People identify to hard or personalize characters/celebs to the point it becomes an parasocial and problematic. People are also very spoiled in the sense that we feel entitled to the things we want, like we deserve them intrinsically and when there is the threat of not getting what you want (esp is fandoms when discussing this almost mob mentality) or someone challenges your belief/opinion people lash out and get nasty, even feeling personally wronged but a differing stance. When you bring all of these things together it can get nasty very quickly. I’ve been and am still in so many fandoms that I hardly interact with because so much content is toxic or rage bait or whatever. Platforms like Reddit or discord where you can have controlled conversation with a group of people just as dedicated to a topic as you, and you can discuss thoughts and opinions in (what should be) a safe space is an incredible experience but most platforms don’t have moderation that can harbor that so then your left with a mess of often times toxicity and division.

I rambled and diverged a little bit but I thought hard about what I had read and this is what I came up with. Also I feel I should say I’m not a lit major lol but I am educated and I work hard to form my own opinions while still listening to other people takes. And that this is not an attack on op this is pretty much my stream of consciousness after reading the post and I am open to discussion.

my hot take as to why the acotar fandom is a shit show is because too many people with english degrees infiltrated and cannot read a book simply to enjoy it, they must pick it apart and analyze it to the point of just tearing it, the characters and the author apart. and gullible people adopted that same mindset.

in simpler terms: too many people take it way, WAY too seriously lol. like this series is meant for entertainment. sarah didn’t write classic literature with underlying themes on morals and society that’s meant as think pieces. y’all do too much and can never just enjoy things. you’re like the cinephiles that cannot just watch a movie for entertainment purposes, you need citizen kane otherwise you’re shitting on everything because it’s not up to your snobbish standards

[yardsards]

im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.