#but holy shit i am having so much fun
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Actually, TNW thoughts up until the end of the Fortuna/Orb Vallis section
The Kahl, Veso, and Teshin segments were an absolute blast. Did I suck at them? Yes. Honestly I'm still surprised I never died as Teshin. But they were a breath of fresh air in a game that's yet to grow old for me in the first place. Also the UI design fucks
I really wish the Veso segment had mode puzzles and less combat tho. Would've made for a nicer spread of combat-puzzles-movement between the three segments. Also Veso combat just wasn't all that fun, I'm sorry. Especially not the Jackal which was a good bossfight in theory and an absolute clusterfuck in practice
Local Lavos Enjoyer liked the Teshin segment the most, as news to absolutely fuckin no one
The fast sequence of the Operator lunging after Lotus, transferring to their frame to bullet jump, grabbing on, then transferring back out and holding onto the frame for support when Lotus slips from their grasp absolutely slapped and I love how well it showcases just how much the Tenno are in tune with their frames and essentially use them as extensions of their own bodies
Sidenote I'm still not over how i managed to create perfection at the end of the Second Dream with only wardrobe changes since. Every time Kohlrabi appears I am filled with so so so much affection. Belovedest child
me, when playing the railjack bit: look, my crew are here too! :D me, now: oh god, my crew were there too D:
Sirocco fun. Radar ability fun. What in the hell and fuck is going on otherwise
sib: just treat Drifter stuff like you would Operator missions is the best advice i have me: i WISH i could void yeet
I keep trying to aim glide as Drifter. This is not good for my health (literally)
hhhhhhhhhhh???????
I love Drifter Kohlrabi actually, their voice acting is a fuckin delight and they can say swears now
I'll probably change their hair later bc i don't think they'd keep it the same after all this time (however long it's been, I keep estimating a decade but no clue) but they're keeping the purple mohawk for the quest
I have NO fuckin clue what's going on. Best guess right now is that whatever saved them from death after getting stabbed and thrown in a fuckin void hole or whatever did so at the cost of their void magic, which is why they no longer use a frame or yeet around or do any other Typical Tenno Shit
Also y'know considering the Tenno are all supposed to be dead and gone and those with free will seem to hold no warm feelings towards them, it's good to lie low anyway
At least Nora is still around ;-;
How the fuck do they expect me to progress with this quest when instead I can just run around in the camp and watch my funny lil burrito boy float to catch up with me
For Narmer absolutely destroyed me. Bro what the fuck. Also that the route you sneak through Fortuna very specifically takes you through most of the NPC spots to really drive it home that Your Friends Are Gone
Sib says the next segment is gonna be fun as hell so we shall see tomorrow
#kata's chatter#literally the only reasons i had to look forward to this quest are what comes after#like aoz and thus arbies#but holy shit i am having so much fun#the new war#quest thoughts#oc: drifter north
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What motorcycle do you think would Mr. Puzzles? A Harley-Davidson? A Ducati? A Suzuki?
I honest to god cannot see him as a motorcycle guy fhdsakj I see him more into classic low riders (as seen in Despicable Mr. Puzzles with that dumb car of his), but I'd say he is willing to give them a try-! And then cry about it after the ride FHDSKJA
#mr puzzles#mr puzzles smg4#smg4 mr puzzles#mr puzzles fanart#smg4#I am never drawing people on a motorcycle ever again holy shit#that took so much trial and error fhdskja#BUT IT WAS HELLA FUN AND I'M PROUD OF THE RESULT!!#also I'm sure you probably mean like. Rock Star AU Puzzles but it'd be my same answer#and you didn't ask but I would love to have a Harley or a Suzuki of my own#what do you MEAN I need to have actual motorcycle experience and license in order for me to draw myself riding a sweet ride shut up#sci sketches#sci screams#sci ships
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I... have a confession to make, of sorts. There won't ever be a good time to admit this, unfortunately, so it's best I get this off my chest now, and ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
It has not been easy speaking with all of the flashclones who have made themselves known in the wake of Union's latest raids; both for myself, and the squadron at large. I must commend my squadmates for handling themselves with the utmost professionalism - while my own correspondences with these newest members of the Omninet have been what I would consider adequately polite, I've been biting my tongue the entire time, and I fear that my personal discomfort with the issue is starting to slip through the cracks.
To this end, I wish to share my thoughts publicly, that I might better express my own emotions towards this complicated, frustrating, and highly nuanced issue. I only ask that you hear me out in full before you render judgement, and pronounce your sentence carefully.
First: an observation.
MSMC policy requires that all pilots dictate an end-of-life plan at the time of their recruitment, that their final wishes may be carried out by the company in the event of their death under MSMC's employ. The options provided for this are effectively unlimited, allowing the pilot a great deal of choice and freedom in planning their postmortem arrangements. These plans may also be altered in the future should circumstances change, provided the pilot is of sound body and mind.
Under MSMC policy, in compliance with the policies set forth by Union, one of the available postmortem options is flashcloning.
In my fifteen-odd years serving under MSMC, I have only heard of three pilots who have willingly chosen to be flashcloned after death (thus prolonging not only their life, but their term of service under MSMC as well). Of these, I have only personally met one, affiliated with MSMC-808 "5Q8R3 L00P3RZ" - I believe their current iteration goes by callsign Lemniscate. While I do not know how many times they have been cloned during their term of service, their current iteration seems happy enough, and their squadmates reassure me that they've maintained a consistent identity (plus or minus the odd quirk, as is typical of flashclones) throughout their life (lives?).
Second: a digression.
I purchased my Dusk Wing, And The Voice of Apollo Spoke From On High (Apollo for short), from an SSC showroom on a planet whose name I no longer recall. The curated atmosphere called to mind the high marble pillars and lush green-blue waters of some distant Cradle mythology where gods roamed the earth and mortals strove to emulate them, punished and rewarded for their folly in equal measure with gifts and curses beyond name. Each frame was posed as the statues of old on Cradle, too-human limbs arrayed in too-human poses, each a machine of war turned living art piece.
Apollo, true to its future name, was arrayed in flight; hover-jets draped with sunlight-yellow gossamer, veil rifle aimed in its middle tier of manipulators with the same care and precision as an archer would take with their bow. To see it lowered to the floor after its purchase was to see Icarus fall; to climb inside its cockpit for the first time, to don wax-and-feather wings of my own and fly.
The old tales caution that divinity has a cost, and I too paid the price. A vial of blood, drawn with silver needle and spirited away into an unseen cooler before my pen ever touched paper. Apollo was mine, but SSC had received a far greater gift in its place: a sample of my DNA, unwillingly donated as the price for my divine armament.
Even now, this price weighs heavy on my head like the sword which hung above Damocles, poised to drop without a moment's notice with each new Union raid on yet another forgotten cloning facility. Who can say on what distant planet the children I did not birth sleep in stasis - children with my eyes, my hair, my nose, my smile; sons and daughters who will never be called as such because, to their creators, they are slaves, weapons, property - anything but human.
Third: an explanation.
I believe that flashcloning, in its current state as of 5016u, as approved by Union's Third Committee (and exploited by the likes of SSC, HA, and several countless others across the stars) is an inherently unethical practice; both for those who donate their DNA (willingly or otherwise), as well as for those persons produced by it.
To see countless lives created, manipulated, slaughtered, and recycled in the name of so-called "progress"; to see inherently human beings stripped of every vestige of humanity but the body in which they reside and then forcibly brainwashed and molded into soldiers, medics, mechanics, weapons, machines, slaves, property - it is an abominable and inhumane practice that should have died a slow and painful death in the darkness from whence it was birthed.
This being said: I cannot stand idly by as the products of this inhumane practice continue to suffer. No matter whether it is beneath the apathetic gaze of Union, the dehumanizing bootheel of HA, or the eugenicist scalpel of SSC, I will not allow my fellow persons to endure another day of abuse at the hands of those who would abandon their own creations as little more than imperfect failures for daring to remind their creators of their sentience.
Alone, I can do nothing. I too am but a cog in this great uncaring machine humanity has built, one which prospers on suffering and bloodshed and the work of hands which have forgotten the body to which they are attached. Even if I were to risk life and limb and reputation to make my position known, it is a battle which lies dead in the water - it is impossible to halt the wheels of progress without irreparably damaging the future which relies on their turning.
And so I fight. I fight for those who have forgotten their humanity, both willingly and unwillingly, that they might find something of their own - identity, purpose, desires, connection, life - that reminds them of what they were and are and always have been: human.
-- Angel
#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#lancerrpg#// my squadmates do not know I am posting this - I could never hope to even begin to explain myself to them#// I only hope that when this post is inevitably discovered it will be forgiven; just as I have forgiven theirs in the past#OOC: jokes on all of you - you get a big fat lore(?) post as well as art this time around#holy shit this was so much fun to write - P has some COMPLEX feelings on this particular issue and do I ever enjoy writing ethical dilemmas#marrying “maybe nobody deserves to suffer actually” and “holy fuck flashcloning is unethical as sin” was a fun mental exercise#can you tell I'm an old hand in the SCP fandom? because this basically felt like writing a piece for the Ethics Committee#(not that I've ever published anything on the SCP wiki - that shit stays firmly in my Google Docs and the Discord messages of my friends)#I'm looking forward to seeing the feedback to this one; both in and out of character - I suspect this one's gonna be controversial#(also - addressing the elephant in the room: Phoenix is older than I draw her; both she and Slipshod have been with MSMC for about 15 years#(as has been stated in prior tales Kennedi has only been here for 12 years - she may be less experienced but she sure knows how to lead)
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The dynamic is about to change up faster than you can say “Damn, the twink fucked up”
#paranormal peri#currently writing chapter 10#holy shit I am so excited#I am having so much fun with this#I can’t believe I went 9 whole chapters without the main character really talking#i drew this on my phone
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I honestly want to see what non slug Ted looks like in your art style! :D
Now that you mention it I wondered the same thing so here we are! :D He has no idea the horrors he’s about to witness.
While I was drawing this lovely guy I had a thought… What if, years later, AM turned him back into a human?
what then?
…
[part 2]
#thank you so much for this idea#truly a rollercoaster#this was so fun to draw omg#this poor man and the horrors I’m drawing him going through#thank you for an excuse to draw this eheheh#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#my art#am ihnmaims#slug ted#tedam#evil computer#am is a beast holy shit#we love the toxic gays#ANOTHER FRAME#OMFG IM LOOSING MY MIND#unslugged ted
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it
So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.
Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role
Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong
Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself
Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong
Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder
...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).
I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.
#uhhh what am I calling this??#randomizedrobinsau#stephanie brown#oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this.#because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship#with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny#and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying#Tim Drake#tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard#reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass#Dick Grayson#He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this#But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him)#Damian al ghul#damian wayne#oh this is gonna kick ass#Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role#and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable#to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive#Jason Todd#Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass#I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time#But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through#TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring
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Today I went on my first-ever date with another lady!
We met on the dating site H.E.R after chatting for over a month and though I was terrified of my 1st date as a bisexual woman, I'm also so, so very proud of myself for going thru with it.
Overall, my date was so very kind, attentive, funny, and pretty! She gave me a warm, tight hug when we met outside the burger joint; we chatted casually as we waited in line (she thought I was shy at first...and I was!!); she insisted I order first; she likes her iced tea sweet like I do.
She likes vanilla milkshakes with whipped cream and I like cheer-wine floats; she shared chicken wings with me and I shared french fries with her; when I teased her that she's nasty for liking bleu cheese dip, she unironically bought me hot pleasantly mild sauce for my fries and insisted it was mine; we both made each other burst out laughing with personal stories and anecdotes; we shared some minor pain with respect; she likes red and sportswear and I like pink and Barbie; she gave me an even bigger, tighter hug at the end of the date...the kind that makes my ribs hurt a little and makes my back feel squished.
Just the kind of hug I like.
She thinks I'm adorable as anything.
I'm not too sure where it's all going to go yet, but I cannot wait for our 2nd date to a movie next week! Gah!
-swoons-
@alexseanchai, @bittylildragon.
#I'm cry#So much cry#Like...I did it...I actually DID it...#Holy SHIT I am bisexual and it's fun and it's awesome and it's SAFE to be gay#The only thing is...we have VERY different...shopping/spending habits...#I think I went out with someone who has waaaaaaay more $$$$$ than I thought...certainly way more than me even while at my new job...#But we talked and we'll cross that bridge as it comes...#She's also gonna have to leave the country again for her job within the month...waaahhh...#But I'm overall feeling warm and fuzzy and VERY excited to see where all this goes!!!#Amarie talks#Amarie is a romance sap#Amarie is bisexual
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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Do y’all want to see me hopping around dressed up as a green tree frog for our Halloween kids event at work???
#u guys totally want to see this I promise#I had sUCH a good day on Saturday holy shit#literally jumping around and dancing and talking abt frogs all day#it was SO much fun holy shit#I am slightly sore today after the fact#but it was barely painful and so much fun yesterday#I can’t wait for them to share the Official Photos they took during the event#I’ve got some silly ones from coworkers tho and they’re great#I made my own frog feet shoe covers to complete the look and it was like wearing diving flippers I had to walk super funny to keep them up#so they didn’t drag or get bent on the ground bc it was just cardboard and duct tape#I was SO hyper all day I could not stop giggling and dancing and wiggling and jumping#it took until like midnight to wind down enough for sleep#I showered and had a cup of tea and was still giggly#I have not had that feral energy in a long while#im a rambling Sam
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the unofficial ultimate bungo stray dogs reading list
this is mainly for myself bc i rly do want to read most if not all of these and i'm sure it's already been done by someone somewhere. but, i thought why not post it lmao; most if not all of these can be found on anna's archive, z-library, or project gutenberg! (also, consider buying from your local bookstore!) for those that are a bit harder to find, i've included links, though some are from j-stor and would require login to access.
detective agency:
osamu dazai:
no longer human (novel)
the setting sun (novel)
nakajima atsushi:
the moon over the mountain: stories (short story collection)
light, wind and dreams (short story)
fukuzawa yukichi:
an encouragement of learning (17 volume collections of writings)
all the countries of the world, for children written in verse (textbook)
yosano akiko:
kimi shinitamou koto nakare (poem)
midaregami (poetry collection)
edogawa ranpo:
the boy detectives club (book series)
japanese tales of mystery and imagination (short story collection)
the early cases of akechi kogoro (novel)
kunikida doppo:
river mist and other stories (short story collection)
izumi kyouka:
demon lake (play)
spirits of another sort: the plays of izumi kyoka (play collection)
tanizaki junichirou:
the makioka sisters (novel)
the red roof and other stories (short story collection)
miyazawa kenji:
ame ni mo makezu; be not defeated by the rain (poem)
night on the galactic railroad (novel)
strong in the rain (poetry collection)
port mafia:
mori ougai:
vita sexualis (novel)
the dancing girl (novel)
nakahara chuuya:
poems of nakahara chuya (poetry collection)
akutagawa ryuunosuke:
rashoumon (short story)
the spider's thread (short story)
rashoumon and other stories (short story collection)
ozaki kyouyou:
the gold demon (novel)
higuchi ichiyou:
in the shade of spring leaves (biography and short stories)
hirotsu ryuurou:
falling camellia (novel)
tachihara michizou:
in mourning for the summer (poem)
midwinter momento (poem)
from the country of eight islands: an anthology of japanese poetry (poetry collection)
kajii motojirou:
lemon (short story)
yumeno kyuusaku:
dogra magra (novel)
oda sakunosuke:
flawless/immaculate (short story)
sakaguchi ango:
darakuron (essay)
the guild:
f. scott fitzgerald:
the great gatsby (novel)
the beautiful and the damned (novel)
edgar allen poe:
the raven (poem)
the black cat (short story)
the murders in the rue morgue (short story)
herman melville:
moby dick (novel)
h.p. lovecraft:
the call of cthulhu (short story)
the shadow out of time (novella)
john steinbeck:
the grapes of wrath (novel)
of mice and men (novel)
lucy maud montgomery:
anne of green gables (novel)
the blue castle (novel)
chronicles of avonlea (short story collection)
louisa may alcott:
little women (novel)
the brownie and the princess (short story collection)
margaret mitchell:
gone with the wind (novel)
mark twain:
the adventures of tom sawyer (novel)
adventures of huckleberry finn (novel)
nathaniel hawthorn:
the scarlet letter (novel)
rats in the house of the dead:
fyodor dostoevsky:
crime and punishment (novel)
the brothers karamozov (novel)
notes from the underground (short story collection)
alexander pushkin:
eugene onegin (novel)
a feast in time of plague (play)
ivan goncharov:
the precipice (novel)
oguri mushitarou:
the perfect crime (novel)
decay of the angel:
fukuchi ouchi:
the mirror lion, a spring diversion (kabuki play)
bram stoker:
dracula (novel)
dracula's guest and other weird stories (short story collection)
nikolai gogol:
the overcoat (short story)
dead souls (novel)
hunting dogs: (i must caveat here that the hunting dogs are named after much more comparatively obscure jpn writers/playwrights so i was unable to find a lot of the specific pieces actually mentioned; but i still wanted to include them on the list because well -- it wouldn't be a bsd list without them)
okura teruko:
gasp of the soul (short story; i wasn't able to find an english translation)
devil woman (short story)
jouno saigiku:
priceless tears (kabuki play; no translation but at least we have a summary)
suehiro tetchou:
setchuubai/a political novel: plum blossoms in snow (novel)
division for unusual powers:
taneda santouka:
the santoka: versions by scott watson (poetry collection)
tsujimura mizuki:
lonely castle in the mirror (novel)
yesterday's shadow tag (short story collection; i was unable to find a translation)
order of the clock tower:
agatha christie:
and then there were none (novel)
murder on the orient express (novel)
she is the best selling fiction writer of all time there's too much to list here
mimic:
andre gide:
strait is the gate (novel)
trascendents:
arthur rimbaud:
illuminations (poetry collection)
the drunken boat (poem)
a season in hell (prose poem)
johann von goethe:
faust
the sorrows of young werther
paul verlaine:
clair de lune (poem, yes it did inspire the debussy piece, yes)
poems under saturn (poetry collection)
victor hugo:
the hunchback of notre-dame (novel)
les miserables (novel)
william shakespeare:
romeo and juliet (play)
a midsummer nights' dream (play)
sonnets (poetry collection)
the seven traitors:
jules verne:
around the world in 80 days (novel)
journey to the center of the earth (novel)
twenty thousand leagues under the seas (novel)
other:
natsume souseki:
i am a cat (novel)
kokoro (novel)
botchan (novel)
h.g. wells:
the time machine (novella)
the invisible man (novel)
the war of the worlds (novel)
shibusawa tatsuhiko:
the travels of prince takaoka (novel; unable to find translation)
dr. mary wollstonecraft godwin shelley
frankenstein (novel)
#bungo stray dogs#bsd#literature#dark academia#reading list#academia#i'm sure there's people i've missed but i did my best LOL#this also really throws into a stark contrast how relatively un-worldly american literary curriculums really are#obviously; it makes vague sense to focus american literary schooling on the western 'canon' bc so much of the english language#is influenced by it and the 'culture' is more touched by it but HOLY SHIT does it just... astound me#how uneducated i am on even east asian literature (from wheremst i technically hail!!!)#i know like.... maybe 3?? 4??? chinese writers off cuff???#like the only reason i even know anything about jpn literature is i got my minor in jpn so i read some stuff but WOWWWWW there's a wORLD.#the fact that i knew not a SINGLE work by most of these jpn writers but as soon as we got to the guild members#i didn't even have to fucking google/wiki -- i just KNEW off the top of my head#kinda fucked up tbh;;;;#anyway this list is massive but i think at least dipping my foot into some of the poems/short stories will be fun
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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Shit okay fine I like After School Lessons for Unripe Apples.
Just binged it up to like chapter 62. I got way too invested in seeing Mi-ae Hwang's and Cheol Kim's friendship develop with each chapter.
#y'all have no idea how much I've been yelling at the screen like a proud parent every time I saw Cheol and Mi-ae stand up for themselves#and EACH OTHER LIKE OHHHH MY GOD#They are LITERALLY just Ahiru and Fakir in season 2 holy SHIT#Cheol Kim is literally just Fakir even the resting mean face is the same#And Mi-ae??? She's so Ahiru I mean holy FUCK she is just bubbly and tries to think what's best for the people around them AOUGHHH#dia talks#after school lessons for unripe apples#i am.... not looking at the fandom tags since I still have another 62 ch to read#but know that Soonkki has a fan in me now. I wasn't into their prev manhwa so this has been a really fun read so far#that childhood friend to strangers to friends has me clutching my chest like a sap
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I just looked at the price on the back of a book I’ve had for a bit over a decade and it was four. fucking. dollars. Just four with no taxes. No extra 97cents or something before taxes. Just a round number that you would add taxes to.
I googled the price of a new edition and it was almost thirteen! Not an even thirteen, it was like 12.96 or something. Close enough that it’s basically thirteen but if you’re adding multiple items together to try and get the price on a purchase with more items it would add more confusion.
#emma posts#it was also a bit difficult to find a new copy on my phone#the edition I have was selling for wildly varying prices as a vintage book now#but that’s just a kids chapter book from a fairly large publisher#I know inflation happens and stuff but holy shit#buying things at the book fair makes so much more sense now#I bought that for 4$ plus taxes at the schoolastic book fair#it was maybe 12 years ago?#I could look at the publishing date for a better idea#the series had just switched publishers and the first few were being re-released at the time#before the new publisher and the author finished the series#four dollars though#I had to check the book because I know the current price of many paperbacks and I knew that series was still in print#but what lead to this was the price tag falling off an old brush I found from like. 2009 or 2010#and the tag on this very large brush was seven dollars#which seemed cheap so I looked at current brush prices online but since the exact same brush isn’t being sold and brush prices vary more#it was a bit harder for me to get an idea of it. books though. books I know#I’ve even bought stuff from that publisher recently (they have a lot of novel and comic translations)#but it also struck me how the old price tag was an even four and an even seven dollars but all new ones had 97 or 98 cents#that ten dollars from helping out grandma wouldn’t have even gotten me one book with modern prices#but back then I could get TWO#even just seven could have gotten me a book and some fun school supplies back then#to have that experience now you would need to give your kid a 20$#I understand inflation okay? I am just taken off guard rn and having realizations#I’m going to add to this post again. when I say wildly varied vintage prices I mean WILDLY varied#one dude was trying to sell it on Amazon for 55$ but on eBay it was 4 to 5$#I bought the next three books in the series from that same print. signed. for 13$ together#I had older editions of those and wanted a full series of just the ones that were being re-released during my reading time
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and if i went crazy and started translating and adapting the entirety of the beetlejuice musical to spanish, with changes to the jokes that would make sense within the pop culture…
what then
#i’ve already started and this is much harder than i thought it would be#I’ve almost got all of dead mom down#how the fuck am i supposed to adapt the charades during say my name if the name doesn’t make sense in Spanish 🧍♂️#also ready set not yet is a NIGHTMARE to translate holy shit#barbara’s entire fast verse is out the window#in fact the entire thing about pottery is out the window just because the ‘look at these jugs!’ joke gets lost in translation#i’m doing this to myself#i don’t even know why I’m doing this tbh#it’s not like i plan on putting it out there or anything#gotta feed the brainrot somehow i guess#just because I’m doing it doesn’t mean it’s good though LMAO#but hey I’m having fun#beetlejuice#beetlejuice musical#i’m going insane#it just would work so well with our humour 😩
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anyways i am giving aryll mineru's secret stone (once her spirit fades away) and making the Exploded GanonDaddy Stone eventually coalesce back into some solid form and link eventually obtains that one Team's Back Together it's fucking poetic justice bc you once again have a sage of light (link- like come On his weapon is the sword that seals the DARKNESS and he literally was a rauru parallel the whole game), a sage of time (zelda, link's partner, just as sonia was to rauru) and a sage of spirit (aryll) who is the sage of light's fucking sister
i am scared at how perfectly that slots together
#i fucking LOVE playing in my sandbox holy shit#like i'd planned aryll to have spirit sensitivity and astral projection skills FOREVER and then fucking mineru has that ability and a stone#and then by the end of the game that stone is available?? no fucking way#AND THEN SHE'S RAURU'S SISTER MAKING THE PARALLELS WORK#jesus christ#god#i am having so much fun#jen rambles#the ballad of aryll#(at this point that's just becoming my catch all tag for all aryll content and not even the tag for the fic itself aopfsduifjndgdrg lol)
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