#but holy hell it fucking works man
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Once again proving to myself why you should never tell a kid to turn to violence to solve their problems
#bays nonsense#im pissed off#and im scared#and embarrassed#and all i want to fucking do is punch something and break something#which is incredibly counter productive and goes against what i try to be for#but holy hell#if i wasn’t bullied by my dad as a child and told to get thicker fucking skin#then fine motherfucker#heres my thick fucking skin#rant#oooooo boy this feels so much better#wooo#drowning anger in ranting online#not the chosen source of decompression by therapists#but holy hell it fucking works man#im gonna go take an edible now
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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ohhh god I think my brain’s broken or somethin cos at the sight of all the goddamn 9hr shift Saturdays and 4.5hr shift Sundays in my near future I legit bawled. Like I don’t DO that ok that is WEIRD for me. I miss having weekends. I should be BEING A TEENAGER ON SATURDAYS not standing in a small space for NINE HOURS
I genuinely think this is gonna be what makes me lose it
#the worst part of it all is that it’s literally been two days. like that is pathetic whhhy can’t I just tough it the fuck out oh my godddd#it ain’t even HARD work I just feel like a caged tiger#and so damn borrred#my boss is real nice tho and quitting would seriously be a dick move#like she bought me a soda…:(#I wish I had a good reason to hate it other than the fact that it’s on weekends and is time consuming#but I don’t#I worked at the stable all summer and I didn’t hate that at all. It was gross and dirty#and I was so sweaty and all my clothes smelled like horse for weeks after and fuck man I didn’t even get paid minimum wage#but I liked it. It was real fun (even when I got zapped by the electric fence!)#but I’m in retail now#and after the first day last week I went home and punched a wall hard enough to get a giant bruise#and after today-the second day-I cried like 5x harder than I did last time I freaked out. Fuck man I prayed even and im not even religious#I think somehow my brain registers boredom as a bigger threat than actual danger holy hell#…jesus I /like/ the job w/ the electric fence but lose it at the cushy one with free soda -_-#yeah no my brain’s definitely not wired right I don’t think#ugh#rambling#personal stuff#whining#delete later#oh yeah and I was right I didn’t work out tonight cos I was miserable.#I mean I jogged a tiny bit but my biceps man…what abt my biceps…:((
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lol
#why the fuck did call out my name start playing in the middle of this drawing like do u want me dead#love hate relationship with this man's tattoos they make me wanna fuck him but FUCK drawing them holy hell#mouth needs work we're getting somewhere tho#meet your demise ��� ♱#endo yamato
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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hey did you know Harlan has your wound man art hanging in his home? https://x.com/MalevolentCast/status/1839726197070307586
I DID NOT. KNOW.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-------
#omfg thank you for telling me#what the fuck oh my gorsh fuckinh hell holy shhitj lksjdflskj#VALIDATION#man like. i put poster store up only cause a couple people asked and as far as i know like 4 ppl have bought it and i was super flattered#since i never sell my art and all#but MAN. MY MAN#i also tought of actually printing it out and sending it as fanmail but psyched myself out cause i respect mr guthrie and his work so much#ouuuuugghhhhh#this is going to sustain my dopamine levels for the forseeable future
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Executive dysfunctioned myself into a bit of a spiral this week!
It's over now, thankfully - though this time I was saved only by an actual deus ex machina of a snow day on Thursday.
(after FOUR straight days of accomplishing precisely nothing that needed to get done, and one day of trying - and mostly failing - to scramble to do some of it)
#like seriously I would have been FUCKED if I'd had to work on Thursday#had six papers and half of one exam to grade coming home Friday#by start of Wednesday I had done none of that#as in literally hadn't touched them#then Wednesday I started trying - and kept losing myself in Tumblr and/or Civ VI#and went to bed at 2am having only done a third of the part of the exam that was left to do#alarm went off 5 hours later#schools closing on the west side of the state#expected nothing for my area#snoozed for 15 minutes#which is honestly standard operating procedure at this point#got up to start the shower#decided to check phone just in the wildest chance#message received icon was up#hope swells alongside disbelief#an actual literal ''he can't keep getting away with it!'' moment#the laughter of a man spared from the gallows#and thankfully I was scared enough by that to actually use the day responsibly enough#leaving myself with only the amount of work I could get done today done#and so once again I have skated by somehow#but holy hell I can't keep doing this#(of course I think at this point I'll only have to once more)#(but that's a completely different conversation)#free life#free floating anxiety
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OUGH. theyre gonna really end a superhero comic with a tolstoy quote thematically accurate enough to kill on impact.
#I started reading these because i was interested in the guardians after the 3rd film and didnt wanna interact with the mcu...#and now i have a new absolute wet paper towel poor meow meow with every disease known and unknown to man#he would have won most mentally ill bitch on the block prize during the annihilation war but hes gotten 100 times worse over the 8 years#6 of them spent in basically hell#other two spent carrying an entire space army's/alien planet's legacy alone through several wars#holy shit dude get space therapy. or whatever.#also sam really nearly went and got stuck with him in the cancerverse huh.#i guess the nova helments only work on people who are reckless and self sacrificial and only have one functional braincell#he didnt have to do all that for a deeply deeply fucked up guy twice his age who hes just met. famous freshly not dead hero or not#marvelcomics#sam alexander
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People will be like "idc who you are, seriously block me if you do/support x" and then i block them and they react like this everytime
#gu6chan's musings#normally im not so pissed off about it but this fuckin dude; man#i admit i didn't like a lot about their philosophy on things and in retrospect it should've been a red flag#but they weren't like.... a BAD person. i just figured they had some issues to work through or something and just chatted when they wanted#then they follow me here and it's like 😭 do they know im a marxist. bc they were having WHOLE fits like 'if you're voting third party or#not voting at all you're just LARPing a revolution; you're going to be the downfall of this country get off my fucking blog if you aren't#voting blue' and i was like 'holy SHIT those are some strong opinions what the hell'#like ive seen people SETTLE for kamala??? but this was the first time ive seen anyone actively try and PROMOTE her like wtf#but anyways i shrug it off; think maybe they're just having a bad time till after election where they're having a whole meltdown like#'FUCK YOU THIRD PARTY VOTERS/PPL WHO DIDN'T VOTE; WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS WILL DO FOR PALESTINE' and im like#are you forgetting all the arab families who were completely crushed by fucking harris REFUSING to take a stance on palestine and refusing#to vote for her in turn??? those who scraped together just ENOUGH faith in the system to vote third party?????#THE FUCKING PLFP ITSELF SAYING 'BOYCOTT THE ELECTION'????? dude. they were blaming it ENTIRELY on#'leftists just wanting to show off moral superiority and wanting to larp a revolution' as opposed to like.... literally anything else and#im just#'damn okay. you get what you asked for ig' and blocked them lmao#they just now found out apparently bc they tried friend rqing on discord and I'm like#'hmmmm were you just not serious when you were saying that shit or did you not know what words actually mean'#anyways i hate that it turned out like this bc i thought they were at least interesting but talk shit get hit or whatever they say lmao
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I don't know what would be worse. Trying to get a little privacy in Wily Castle, or trying to get some privacy at the Cossack's house.
ehehhehhehehehehehhe
I'm the CEO of Ring/Burst now
#I'M FERAL RIGHT NOW#These are MY BOYS#In love and doing R rated things >;3c#also holy fuck#i can draw Burst just fine#but FUCK drawing Ring#how the hell does that man's face work#no nose havin ass#freak#my art#mm#there is a fic for this#I prommy#I'm debating whether to put it up or not thou
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Everyone be proud of me I just applied for a zine
#smol speaks#IVE NEVER BEEN PART OF ONE BEFORE hell i only recently learnt what they are and tbh im still not 100% how they work#BUT it's for oc x canon stuff and I submitted my man Felix and idk if they'll accept me or not dont wanna get my hopes up#but i had to like link art examples and OC refs and have a portfolio so i made THAT yesterday!! yeah i have one!!#like a Real Artist!! i did all that i went up to something and went 'i am creator and i would like to join and i think my stuff is good eno#gh' like HOLY FUCK im like all shaky and nervey cause im a wuss but i did it!!!!!
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in tears why is my writing so unorganized. i was trying to look at some of my old notes and half written scenes from dare(d) and there are literally like fucking 5 DIFFERENT opening scenes in various locations and I just. how many times did I rewrite the start of this fic?????
#a LOT apparently jesus fuck#im on my phone which certainly Doesn't Help At All#I'm probably be looking more at this tomorrow after work#bc holy hell man. whats happening.#i just wanna read one of the scenes!! i wanna read just the one!!!#but i can't find it cjskjdjs#wip: parallels#wip: dare(d) to do it#im pretty sure i stopped using that tag but I'll use it here anyway#shh ac
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if you get an ask from me (probably from @clawsextended ) yes you absolutely did i have selina brainrot and i have for literally like three hours now.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[the best idea i ever had was going ‘I write lofi miyazaki selina who is also a scene from elfen lied’ and beyond on both sides of that#spectrum. i am cringe but i am free and she is nearly 40 with a child she stole. solidifes my own canon like striking an anvil. fuck it. i#do not care even remotely. over here probably gonna kitty. probably gonna some doc bloom. today’s possibilities are endless. i can focus?? i#love you so much aderall holy fuck. i need my recc letters for my new job and then i can start. it’s whacky because my indeed is full of job#shit for various therapy professional positions because i GUESS my masters works for that?? wild. man im glad I actually did all that school#shit. like I wouldn’t readily recommend it and I think it’s a case by case basis where academia is concerned. college ain’t for everybody it#is very fucking boring and very fucking difficult and if you’re neurodivergent it’s dick. but Christ I’m glad I have a particular and#lifelong hyperfixation with education and development… that I didn’t even realize until I was an adult. okay okay. that’s a lot. time to#write. love you guys!! maybe I’ll make a fucking promo for selina that I like. pls support my brand 🥺🥺 I am TRYING. I have awful cottonmouth#that feels like it’s from hell.]
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Hell fucking no you're telling me I'm going to be out for 11 hours tomorrow?? With like 7 total hours of commute time???
#for a stupid field trip???????#fuck i'm going to be sobbing in pain on the way home#even with all my 'preventative measures'#and i'm working tuesday fffffuuuuuuUUUCCCCCK#oh hell no man i'm gonna cry i should have said i can't come to this. jesus christ i have SO much to do#actually you know one thing no one talks about? how fucking hard it is to stay kind and patient while you're in pain. because holy shit#even right now it's hard.#this is going to be an extremely painful week for me. 11 hour day tomorrow including what. 7 hours total of commuting time??#then working tuesday afternoon#then screening a movie in class wednesday which always makes my body hurt SO bad. that class has zero breaks#then working again thursday for longer hours#emphatically: fuck. fuckity FUCK.#genuinely should i not go? i missed last class though. but how the hell is this trip important?#bad time for a trip to your farm professor. it's fucking midterms.
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Honestly kinda baller of them to just smack Clayface and Twoface together (the face bros) into one character.
HELP HIM MY SON
God the budget went into this episode the animation is smooth as hell
HE JUST WANTS HELP GOOD IM CRYING! YIN DIDNT RECOGNIZE HIM AAAAAAH
God this episode was so clean fuck I love it. I’m a sucker for a good Harvey Dent story and really this is basically that just you know- without Dent.
#Batman with his tiny spyglass going after Clayface ‘oh yeah this is totally normal’#I want to punch the police chief so bad#Yin please help ya boy#oh fuck Bruce just put it together#you better being going to help this poor man out#FUUUCK HOLY SHIT WHEN HE DESGISES AS YIN HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SMOOTH AS HELL#YIN FIGURED IT OUT! GO HELP YOUR BOY#Oh shit is Yin going to become like a Gordon?#Fuck Ethan you bastard slay slay slay speak your truth!!!#Yin my beloved#also god Clayfaces animation is so smooth fuck I love it#also Yin YES work with the Bat! slay queen!#he gave her a bat caller!#she is a Gordon! fuck yeah!#the batman (2004)
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Every once and awhile I like to burst my mom's bubble on something and right now I'm in the process of bursting her bubble on Dr Phil, Dr oz, and Oprah and thankfully these people documentedly suck so hard it's not actually difficult for me to pull up details I remember that if looked up absolutely can be corroborated.
Anyway it's kind of a fun hobby of mine, mostly because I already burst my own bubble on these people (except Dr oz I never liked that asshole I HATED how much he constantly talked about dieting and weight loss, my LEAST favorite topic even now tbh) and it's taken me like 3 years of hint dropping to get here ok. It's been a long time coming 😂😂😭
#winters ramblings#my mom doesnt think shes stubborn but YEAH she is lmao it takes me AGES to lay out the ground work of a bubble burst#and then when it all gets set up right i knock it over because holy HELL i cant be having people going around thinking dr phil doesnt suck#therapy isnt entertainment!!! what the actual fuck!!!! also i always hated dr oz and oprah was so sad to learn sucked#i mean she seemed like such a nice lady amd i dont even think shes a bad person exactly i just think shes horrendously negligent#about like EVERYTHING to do with the power she holds and how much shes spread misinfo and venorated quacks#although dr oz actually IS a hella good heart surgeon but unless you need heart surgery dont listen to that idiot#mans knows his way around a heart with a scalpel and thats IT and hes VERY good with the scalpel credit where its due#but mans is ALSO a huckster calling green coffee bean extract and raspberry ketones miracle drugs for weight loss#TOTAL fucking hack.
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