#but hi satan

[mirthlxss]

Baseball Price unhinged drabble

This is such a out of fucking character, indulgent post but @joebeargraves started this with her BASEBALL stuffs and little story and suddenly now this has happened, I had no choice really. This is dedicated to you my lovely hoe, hope it helps ;)

Purely indulgent drabble down below, smutty and probably completely filled with incorrect baseball terms.

warnings: eighteen +, goes without saying. light degradation, fem!reader, lil spank, just general demon behaviour you get it.

John Price is the meanest pitcher in the league, the way he rockets those balls with such malice completely contrasts with the build-up before he pitches. There’s always steely silence in the crowd as they watch his preparations, feet steadily planted on the dirt mound as he brings his throwing hand up to his mouth. One long, languid lick across the tips of his fingers, a short huff of air. 

“Better grip.” He’d grumble when you asked about it after your first time watching him. The tension thrums through your body, every game, every time. Thighs clenched, he’d raise his digits and lick, you’d swear John would flicker his gaze upward to you in the crowd, and your heartbeat would drop down to your knickers. 

The ace in his team, you always knew that one day you’d surprise him with new merchandise. Price could barely keep himself contained when he finally came on field, the white-hot summer sun blazing down, doing nothing to help his case. The way you fanned yourself on the stands, his old jersey clinging to your breasts, the jostling sway of each desperate waft. The second your eyes clapped onto him it was over, shot up in your seat, bouncing up and down like you hadn’t already caught his attention. 

He’d bombed the game, furious of course. You liked him angry, though this was new, the clear diversion of your devotion had stumped him completely. It was routine to clamber down from the stands and meet your pitcher by the players changing rooms, cheer and congratulate him before he went in. This was new, desperate grasp on your waist, the rushed snarl that left him as Price barrelled you inside the changing room, shoving and herding you past the lockers and showers. You stumbled ungraciously into a dim corner, John crowding you with his gait, panting harshly as his hungry gaze ripped you apart.

“Can’t fucking concentrate.” Hoarse growl, a clue to his crumbling psyche. His lips crushed onto yours in a bruising kiss, the hands on your waist dragging you forward to meet his hips, cock strained hard against the material of his uniform. He’d barely been able to hide it during the game, head swimming with the image of you in his jersey.

He took you in the corner, rough and barely lucid as the whistling of his fellow teammates made no difference to the volume of his pleasured grunts, the jersey stayed on, of course. 

“Such a supportive little slut, aren’t you?” 

“Pretty girl putting me off my game huh, it’s a good thing I love this little hole so much.” 

“Wanna come for me? No chance love, can’t decide if you need punishing or not.” 

He’d fill you up thick and fast, pulling out with a sordid slap on your bare arse. His hand soon followed, pushing up into the sopping cavern he’d ploughed into, fingers plugging his cum in as you shook against the wall, cheek pressed against the cool tile. 

“Grind.” 

His fingers left you, soon to be replaced with the smooth sensation of wood. You look down to find yourself clenching over his baseball bat, white already smearing over it as he pushed it back and forth between your legs, angling it just right. The motion dragged it dangerously slow against your clit, already raw from the relentless fuck he’d sprung upon you. 

John made you ride the bat until you came, shamelessly grinding yourself into it as he supported you from behind, twisting and thrusting the implement in time with your needy pulses. Only when he was satisfied with hearing your sweet little drawls did he let you collapse back onto him. 

Finishing up with a soft smack as he slapped the sticky bat against your core, pulling the bat away and bringing it up to his readied tongue, licking the wood clean of your juices. 

[bruciemilf]

I think it’d be so funny if Bruce just refuses to disclose the existence of Robin to the league. He knows it’d take less than a minute for them to form a wicked mock club against him.

Except he just? Carries Robin around. Under that endless void that is his cape. Clark pinches the stress point between his brows. “Batman, is that a child under your cape?”

“No.”

“Bruce I can HEAR his heartbeat.”

“I think the long exposure to kryptonite partially damaged your brain. There is no child here, Clark.”

“He’s literally drinking Barry’s coffee right now.”

“He’s WHAT-“

[journey-to-the-attic]

"am i really that old?" lucifer wonders on the train later

(you've probably seen them already but references taken from this post + the original tweet)

-> the follow-up

[springgonyoyos]

Actually dying what in the world am I doing, this meme was too funny

Have another cracked meme, please enjoy thank you orz

(And no way am I drawing Lucifer again, so png it was)

[featheredcrowbones]

the cast of OM after my MC makes them gayer except for the kids whose only worries are crayons and cookie dough

[shootingstarrfish]

a family who loves you

[sweet-marigold]

Fizzarozzie week day 3: sins!!!

They’re very excited to meet fizz ^ ^

[spark-river]

Headcanon:

Sometimes the brothers fight with Mammon. Full on screaming and anger because they think he stole something or he actually did. While this can lead to physical fights, the brothers are not always looking for one. At these times they get especially upset when they raise their hands to get a point across and Mammon's first reaction is shielding his head as if about to be hit.

Levi isn't good with this kind of thing so he'll continue seething for a minute before storming off and hiding in his room. Now upset that his brother thought he'd hit him even though he wasn't planing on. He can't quite place his feelings but ends up leaving his room later on in the same day and subconsciously searches the house for Mammon. When he does find him he just ends up curled close to or even against him. Levi refuses to acknowledge what is happening, partially because he doesn't understand his own emotions.

Asmo doesn't have such a complicated reaction, he just gets upset because how can his brother think he'll ruin his pretty face?! Mammon will get reassured Asmo is not looking for a fight, even if Asmo's a bit incredulous about it.

Satan won't notice his reaction if he's in a fit of anger. Later on he'll silently remark to himself that Mammon's reaction was appropriate.

Lucifer will acknowledge Mammon's reaction, tell him he's not going to hit him and continue his lecture. He actively makes an effort to keep his hands down or clasp them behind or in front of his body.

Belphie is too lazy to properly yell.

Beel will immediately stop what he was saying and look like a kicked puppy. He hates when his brothers think he'll hurt them. He's most likely to hug Mammon to reassure him before continuing in a calmer manner. Beel is very aware of his build and how he's intimidating even if Mammon is the stronger one.

[peachhoneii]

Can we talk about how Satan outright says that he ruled Hell before Lucifer fell? That Satan, the largest of the sins and arguably the most powerful, was likely a primordial entity that got fucking demoted after Lucifer and Lilith pulled that apple bit? I am LOVING the lore.

Is he a fallen god? Who are you, Satan? The Adversary KNOWS MORE.

LUCIFER DONE TOOK HIS JOB.

Edit: Y’all I know he didn’t take his job, but I am keeping this up because I like the fanon.

[sweetbrier2908]

sometimes you look at satan and think of lucifer. of course you keep it for yourself, you're wise enough to know that even when he's not mad at you but it definitely makes him uncomfortable. but sometimes, you mean it, only a few times in the span of many years you've known him, you look at him and his face, his expression, even his nose and his smile, his action, his attitude surprise you how similar he is to his father (can you say that? you always feel like this word is such a sensitive topic). you start noticing the similarity between those two and also the difference.

like how satan chuckles often than only smile when he reads and he's usually too excited to show you whatever intrigues him from the book.

like how satan's eyes are not that sharp, unlike lucifer's. satan's eyes are always smiling. if you remember correctly. he may say that is because he's a demon and he need to deceive others but maybe he's just a kind soul.

like how satan doesn't have wrinkles on the corner of his eyes and he doesn't frown that much. always keep his best composure. always acts polite. he can't afford to let people think he's rude since he need to surpass lucifer in everything.

like how satan's expression is always more gentle...more soft...and you look at him and you know that he was raised in love. in love. in love. the way he looks at little animal, the way he looks at his brothers while they're doing something silly. the way he focuses on the books, on the lessons,...the way he treats everything with such sincerity like they all have souls. you wonder if levi's the one who taught him how to take care for little animals, if mammon's the one who taught him you need to treat everyone equally, if asmo taught him to appreciate the beauty in even the smallest thing, if beel and belphie taught him to create a special bond with people is nice.

satan and lucifer, they shares some habits too. the first thing they do when they walk through the door is organize all the jackets and coats on the hanger, then they go to the kitchen and make something for themselves (but satan likes to make a cup of latte and lucifer likes hell coffee or tea which he was gifted by his beloved)- and for beel who's already there. they're gonna complain about something, then go to the library to take a look. arrage the misplaced books, sweep a little bit then take a sit and wait for their brothers to come home and complain again about the noise (everyone knows that they love being around their family and to proud to admit that they enjoy all the problem they cause). they don't do all of that together. never. satan takes after lucifer, you're kind of sure of it after spending years and years watching them, many things. you never tell him.

sometimes you look at satan and wonder how many things he takes after his brothers, his family. how many things he takes after love.

[dragonanon]

Shameless Satan x Reader headcanons because I am a whore- 😩

- As much as everyone would probably assume he’s into “meek wittle UwU princesses” he can dominate with ease, Satan in fact prefers a little spitfire who won’t hesitate to fight back

- You won’t just lay down and take his BS, and it’s part of what drew him to you to begin with. He was probably raging about some stupid shit in the courtroom, and you (probably a desk clerk or something there at the time) got sick of it and yelled back at him “Oh stfu you big red fucker!” And he was so taken aback that someone had the balls to yell back at him that he was left speechless and mildly aroused

- Calls you things like “little flame”, “spitfire”, “dove”, and his “treasure”

- Knows that the sheer size difference between you two flusters you to no end, and he’s a goddamn menace about it. Making short jokes, holding things out of reach, and randomly picking you up just so he can hear you squeak in surprise. Getting cursed out by you is worth it so long as he gets to see that precious look on your face

- Aside from Yogirt, you’re really the only one who can get Satan to calm down when he’s angry and you have a much easier time doing so than Yogirt does. All you have to do is scratch his chin and croon at him, and the big bastard just melts into your touch

- Purrs SO GODDAMN LOUD but insists that he doesn’t. The lying bastard, he sounds like a tractor engine on steroids. He gets SUPER pissy if anyone besides you comments on it

- SO fucking full of himself, mans REALLY thinks he’s above Lucifer and deserves to be regarded as such smh. Your love and affection only further strokes his overinflated ego, as does any compliments and praise you give him. Mf actually grows BIGGER in multiple ways lol the more his ego is stroked

- This man is a cowboy/rancher and I will take NO criticism because I’m right. He’s got THOUSANDS of cows, and lots of horses too

- When he’s not in the courtroom, he’s working on his ranch. Probably has hundreds, if not thousands, of Demons he employs as farm hands to help with all the work, but there are some things only he can do and TBH he likes the physical activity of the work and it’s a free show for you lol

- He gave you a little chicken coop so you can keep a little flock of chickens. You LOVE your chickens, and your personal fav is a tiny rooster you named “Marshmallow”, and he looks like a more demonic version of this lol

- Says he’s not jealous of Marshmallow, but he TOTALLY is. He gets all pouty and grumbly when you pick up the tiny rooster and coo over him, because dammit you should be cuddling and cooing over HIM! Not that stupid bird!

- Has a big, fancy, mansion on his ranch that he lives in with you. In true dragon fashion, he unironically sleeps on a mountain of gold and other treasures lol. How he doesn’t have back pain is a mystery, but you get to sleep on his tiddies so you have no complaints lol

- Runs SO fucking hot! You’ll never need to pay for heating again, let alone HAVE an actual heating system, because this mf puts out heat like an industrial incinerator. It’s FANTASTIC during the winter because he’s so warm you can just cozy up to him and be in bliss, but in the summer it’s fucking agony and you can’t escape it because he gets upsetti spaghetti if you don’t sleep and cuddle with him

- Would prefer you to NOT be in the courtroom with him. He says it’s because you distract him, but in reality it’s because he doesn’t want you to have to see him explode with rage and live up to his title as the embodiment of wrath. He actually tries REALLY hard to keep that part of himself away from you, because even though he’ll die before ever admitting it, a TINY part of him is terrified that he’ll end up hurting you during one of his outbursts

- If for some reason you HAVE to be there, he has a special little balcony set up for you that’s not only a safe distance away from any potential danger, but ALSO has a magic force field protecting it (that part is a secret tho because if you knew about it, you’d yell at him for thinking you’re weak enough to need protection lmfao)

- If anyone so much as blinks at you wrong, he beats the shit out of them. The ONLY reason he doesn’t kill them is because he knows you’ll yell at him like “Dammit Satan, again?! I can’t go anywhere with you!”

- Yogirt 100% uses his love for you to get him to chill. “I know you’re feeling some pretty big feelings right now, but think of (Y/N)~ She loves you and would be so sad to see you this angry~”

- It’s funny because he and Satan both know damn well that you wouldn’t be sad, rather you’d be yelling at him to knock that shit off lmao

- The entire courtroom once got to hear you sit him the fuck down because he got a little TOO spicy in the courtroom one day, and didn’t believe Yogirt he he not-so-subtly threatened to call you. Sure enough, he pulled out his phone and called you on speaker phone, and everyone got to spend 30 minutes listening to you rip this mf a new one while the mighty king of wrath sat there like a sad puppy and occasionally mumbling something like “I know…I’m sorry treasure, I’ll do better.” (No one is allowed to comment on it or else he’ll get VERY angry about it. Plenty of memes have been made about it tho much to his chagrin)

[panthermouthh]

“I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel.”

[the-witchhunter]

I still maintain that people who only know Constantine through DPxDC tend to

a) overestimate how intimidating Danny is

and

b) under estimate how little of a shit John gives about supernatural entities that could potentially kill him

John is not a coward, he opts to not get involved if he doesn't have to, not because he's afraid, but because if he isn't needed why would he put in the extra work?

Him seeing Danny and walking immediately out would not be because he's afraid

it would be like strategically walking away from a conversation when someone starts talking about needing help moving. You're not afraid of helping someone move, you just don't want to carry a sofa up three flights of stairs while your buddy fails to understand what you mean when you tell him to fucking pivot the couch

[journey-to-the-attic]

"karasu search how 2 cheer human up"

"karasu search difference between sad human and zoning out human"

"karasu search how long is it safe for humans to zone out for?"

(+ a longer look at each scene:)

[allknowingaxolotl]

Idk man. Demon form teef,,,,,

(No Lucifer bc I think I did him in another post already??? Also I got lazy

[kelokez]

the light of my life. the sunshine of my lifetime.