#but hey at least i'm being thorough

[juliamccartney]

after just five tma episodes i'm already up to 36 character files lol

[yanderemommabean]

Hey Momma!

I like butterflies, ya got any Yandere Alien Butterfly scenario for me? Or everyone? Cause I'm sure we'd like a nice Yandere Alien Butterfly~ 🦋

“P-Please! Please you have to-Ahh!” You sob, wincing and jerking as more of their invasive fingers inspect your body. It wasn’t a sob of pain either, oh anything but. You’ve been handed over for these insect aliens to inspect as a sort of treaty and well, they’re being /very/ thorough with you. 

Their wings flutter here and there as they murmur and whisper to one another, you assume to speak about notes and what they’ve learned but you can’t help but notice the clipboards and tablets have been set aside for over an hour now, and they simply haven’t bothered to test anything more than your limits on pleasure. 

Weren’t you supposed to be tested on with other items too? Wasn’t this more or less a death sentence from your oh so cowardly government? 

“They react nicely when you press right here-” The one on the left states a bit louder, something you can actually comprehend, but you’re focus is cut off as they demonstrate what they mean-curling their fingers inside you just right and making your body pulse with pleasure once again, your eyes watering as they begin to more or less abuse that spot and make your muscles tense and shake. 

You can’t even catch your breath as the one on the right nods their head, but moves to grab something off of the table beside them. “Yes but do you think their anatomy could handle someone of our size? I think this mating tool is about as large as one of us, shall we try it?” 

Oh god you can’t even bring yourself to look up. You try to catch your breath while you can, laying back on the cold table bringing you back to your senses even if just slightly. You aren’t sure you want to know just how big that toy could be, your mind would simply break. 

“Oh not to worry! They’re quite resilient creatures! But we do have to be careful, I like this one” one says, amused as they grab the item and flick the switch. “We have to be slow, humans can handle sizes better when relaxed and sedated. Our little specimen here should be able to take at least half before we run into any issues”. 

Your walls flutter and pulse once again, and you hate your body for being so eager to start after finally catching your breath. It’s as if your instincts are trying to tell you to just lay back and give in, and really, you can’t fight that urge much longer. That buzzing sound only makes your legs want to squeeze together tighter, but not out of fear this time. 

Oh you’re slowly becoming a mindless toy yourself aren’t you?  

When the head of that large toy enters you, your breath catches and it can’t be helped when you arch up and brokenly cry, that stretch seemingly both painful and blissful. That vibration was only making your fingers and toes curl as the two aliens watched with rapt attention, slowly pressing the toy in deeper and deeper, listening to your feeble noises and adorable moans almost nonchalantly. 

If it wasn’t for the heady scent in the air and the fact you could see their own members sliding out in arousal, you’d think they were genuinely bored with experimenting with you. You catch a glimpse between weak twists of your body, and those dangerous eyes hold something more primal than they did when you first entered the room. 

They were doing this for more than just research, that’s for sure. You’re at their mercy until they get bored, if they even do. 

“Go ahead. Climax. We know you have more in you, we’ve studied your vitals and liquids, you aren’t dehydrated yet” the one on the right bites out, eager and needy as he leans forward to turn the toys vibrations up. “You look so good like this, human. Stuffed and needy, begging to be bred and made into the perfect mate. You must feel so neglected if you’re this sensitive to what we use” 

You can only manage a whimper, eyes rolling back as your breath catches and that thick, pulsing toy hammers inside of you. It’s no use in fighting it, you couldn’t fight the multiple other attempts either. You cave, body lurching and head lolling back as you cry out and loudly gasp for air, feeling your hole clenching down and trying to make sure that large toy doesn’t leave, milking it for all its worth as you rock your hips to ride out the fifth intense orgasm of the day. 

The two butterflies coo and croon in your ear, you think they’re praising you even but everythings so blurry and sounds like it's underwater, you can’t make any of it out. 

“Good job human, such a good job. That’s it, deep breaths…When your breathing is back to a stable condition let’s see if we can’t fit in the rest of the device. I’m sure you won’t disappoint us”.

(-Mommabean, hiya! Sorry for any typos! Anyway I hope you enjoyed, feel free to tell me what you thought!)

[genericpuff]

Hey Puff,

I'm someone who has always struggled with how to do research "correctly," but have lurked around the community enough to know RS had a real tendency for… not doing enough. Do you have any recommendations, not necessarily specific to Greek mythos, on how to just do research? Is Wikipedia even a good jumping off point?

Thanks!

Biggest thing, at least for me, is being thorough! The reason a lot of folks tend to side-eye Wikipedia as a "source" isn't just because it's relatively easy for anyone to edit, but also because Wikipedia itself is a library of sources and not the source itself.

Wikipedia can be a perfectly acceptable jump off point, as long as you're actually jumping to the places it can lead to - and you can do that through References.

Let's use the Wikipedia entry for Persephone as an example.

Sourcing "improperly" through Wikipedia would be to simply source directly from one of the sentences listed here and calling it a day. No further digging on where the excerpt comes from, no cross-referencing with other material, just reading the part on Wikipedia that says she was a vegetation goddess, slapping it into an essay or adaption or whatever, and then not confirming it further or picking apart the why of her status as a vegetation goddess through extended research.

Sooo what do we do to find that info? Let's search the word 'vegetation' and see if anything else comes up.

There we go, that has a bit more detail. And from here, we can click the little '19' at the end of the paragraph, which will take us to the References section at the bottom of the page.

Aaaand boom! Now you've got an actual source that you can dig into further, if you so choose. There isn't a whole lot that I can access of this sourced book online, but I was able to find an excerpt where the author sourced Cicero, a Roman poet and philosopher (among other things) who lived during the rise of the Roman empire:

That said, sometimes these sources aren't quite so easy to track down. That's where cross-referencing can help - but that means leaving Wikipedia!

Where this concerns a Greek goddess, let's see what we can find on Theoi, another great resource specifically pertaining to Greek / Roman / etc. deities, stories, and customs.

Though it's not quite as clickable as Wikipedia, Theoi also does a good job at outlining sources in their descriptions. Though Bennett isn't mentioned here, Hesiod and Cicero are, and wouldn't you know it, they're sourced on Theoi as well.

So there you have it! Even though Bennett is from the early 2000's, he did his own work to outline and source poets and academics whose work he was now documenting himself. This means the odds of Bennett simply making shit up are low because he sourced from the preserved works of the era he's speaking on and those works are referenced again through other resource libraries such as Theoi.

What ALL that helps with at the very least - aside from the opinions one could have about the sources themselves (Ovid 😒) - is to legitimize the research. We know without a shadow of a doubt that Persephone was attributed to vegetation and the harvest because there are so many sources across different cultures and backgrounds and generations stating it as such. It thus makes the conclusions a lot more credible, even when they're coming from a more modern source, because that source was built on their own research and sources from the Greek/Roman/etc. documents that have been preserved (and there's still new stuff being found!!!)

Obviously there are always arguments to be made about the material itself, especially when it comes to the debates over translations and cultural contexts, but actually following up on initial searches with referencing and cross-referencing is a lot more reliable and credible than simply taking something from Wikipedia and saying "I read it on the Internet."

As much as the effectiveness of Google and Wikipedia as legitimate research sources is frowned upon, they are incredibly effective, you just need to know where to look and how to find it, and most importantly - how to verify it.

And that's just the online stuff! Libraries are still alive and well! Many universities contribute to search engines like WorldCat which are designed specifically for research papers, published articles, and textbooks! Point is, the world around us is full of knowledge and resources, so the key is to learn how to navigate it so you can get the most out of it!

This is ultimately why it's so important to not restrict yourself to the first Google result - I know it's "easier" due to the convenience of it all, but you're also robbing yourself of the opportunity to really expand your knowledge beyond the summary of a targeted first result, and it runs the risk of sourcing from illegitimate sources or sources that are controlled by Google's own self-interests (protip: have a very specific problem but Googling it just gets you a bunch of automated sponsor posts and completely useless results? add 'reddit' to the end of your search, you'll get human answers from real human beings and there's always at least ONE other person who's had the same problem and posted about it to reddit LMAO seriously this one's saved my skin so many times)

And when you learn to do research the way that works for your brain? It's really, really fun. A lot more fun than public school led many of us to believe. If you learn best from talking and engaging with people, then go talk to people! Participate in groups and forums that are dedicated to the topic you're researching! If you learn best from listening to audio material, then try out audiobooks, they can often be found online through various means (🏴‍☠️) BUT ebooks and audiobooks are stocked at libraries too!

But of course, that leads us to what makes for bad research, and I obviously can't use any other example in this context than Rachel herself, whose "research" is evidently often the first recommended result that pops up on Google. And yes, I can say evidently because we've proven this when she tried to source the term 'xenia' into LO as a definition. Not only was it copy pasted to the point of still containing typos, but it was sourced plainly from a Princeton study guide that is now severely outdated - not the work that that study guide was sourcing from in and of itself.

(notice how she just sourced it as "princeton.edu" and not the specific URL that it came from)

If she really wanted to sound well-researched with the cheeky insert of the definition of xenia linking to a smart-sounding location (we're gonna ignore that it ruins the flow of the comic) then she could have sourced it from literally any of these:

But instead she did the equivalent of an 8th grader copy pasting a sentence from Wikipedia and calling it "research". It's not research. It's a lazy shortcut and it doesn't facilitate any real learning.

This can be seen in other instances as well, such as Metis' design:

As well as Leto, who I kinda think Rachel mixed up with the Full Metal Alchemist character of the same name when googling her because I can think of no other explanation as to why she's a sun goddess in LO when she has zero affiliation with the sun in the myths aside from being Apollo's mother-

(I can't prove that this is what happened but it's hilarious to think about; I'm also low key suspicious that Rachel accidentally mixed in some sources of the Métis people because Metis' design is very... Indigenous-coded 🤨)

^^^ This. This is all bad research. It's not a bad thing if Rachel's interest in Greek myth started through works like Hercules or other creative adaptions, that's actually how it starts for many of us. Where she failed was by trying to sell herself as a "folklorist" and her work as a "retelling", without actually following through in her research. She would often only do just enough to make herself seem well educated on the subject to anyone whose knowledge was as basic - or less - than hers, but not enough that it could actually hold up in a real discussion about Greek myth with other people who are more read up on it than her. Rachel's self-proclaimed "folklorist" title is only validated by the lowest common denominator of readers, who 99% of Lore Olympus ended up being made for in the end, while those who actually understood the myths deeper than their Wikipedia summaries pulled their hair out in frustration every time Rachel tried to make some sly reference to a myth or attempted to speak about it in interviews.

Comparisons aside, the best part is that this research process doesn't have to be exclusive to studying historical stuff! Writing a story that features a disabled character, but you yourself are not disabled and are worried you're going to misrepresent? Search up articles and posts that pertain to the specific disability you're trying to write; I guarantee you that there are people living with that disability offering up that information completely for free because they want to see more representation for themselves in media. Trying to learn how to draw characters of different body types / skin colors / etc. from your own? Seek out the works and advice of those who do have those physical differences and learn from them.

It's about being thorough. It's about opening yourself up to things you may have been blind to before. It's about embracing the learning experience as a positive sign of growth, not a negative sign of failure. It's about taking the opportunity to learn every time it presents itself, even if those opportunities are small and passive. A person who doesn't know is just a person who hasn't learned yet (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

[cera-writes]

Could I request Scott summers x reader with a similar eye mutation. The reader has a gorgon mutation and can turn people to stone, and they meet/ bond over not being able to see properly, eventually getting into a relationship.

A/N: I love this idea! It's so sweet! Tags: just sweet fluff with a shared understanding

A Shared Burden

The sterile walls of the X-Mansion medbay felt like a cage after the chaotic awakening of your mutation. Professor Xavier had explained the X-Men, a sanctuary for mutants like you. But 'sanctuary' didn't quite describe the prickling anxiety that crawled under your skin after Beast's in-depth examination of your petrifying gaze.

Hank had loaned you a pair of mutant specialty eyewear. It was a revelation that dawned on you now. You'd never be able to take them off with turning someone into a slab of concrete; or at the very least, controlling your deadly eyesight.

The door creaked open, revealing a tall man with a kind smile. "Hey there," he said, his voice gentle. "You must be (Y/N). I'm Scott, Scott Summers. Cyclops is fine too."

You offered a weak smile. "Nice to meet you, Scott. Though I wouldn't exactly call turning people to stone a mutant power you'd advertise in the brochure."

He chuckled, a sound that eased the tense knot in your stomach. "Yeah, well, Hank can be a bit… thorough. But hey, at least you get a cool codename out of it. Any ideas?"

You shrugged, a touch of self-deprecation tinging your voice. "Haven't really thought about it. Maybe something Gorgon-related, considering I turn people to stone with a glance. I mean, Medusa would be way too cliche."

Scott's smile softened. "Your power… it's tough, I imagine. But you're not alone. We all have things to deal with here." He gestured towards his head, the unspoken reference clear.

A silent understanding bloomed between you. Scott knew what it was like to live in a world where you had to be constantly on guard, where your very nature made you an outsider. There was a shared burden in his gaze, a quiet empathy.

"How about we get you settled into your room?" Scott suggested, his voice warm. "Maybe tomorrow we can start figuring out how to control your… uh… petrifying gaze."

The following days were dedicated to navigating your mutation. Scott, ever patient, was your guide. You practiced focusing your gaze, not on turning things to stone, but on dampening the overwhelming sensory input that triggered your power. He understood the struggle to keep your emotions in check, the constant battle to avoid accidentally turning someone into a statue.

Slowly, with Scott's steady support, progress came. You actually did learn to somewhat control the intensity of your gaze, to filter the world through your special glasses that dampened your mutant sight but allowed you to function.

One evening, after a particularly grueling training session, you and Scott found yourselves on the balcony overlooking the X-Mansion grounds. You leaned against the railing, a comfortable silence settling between you. The setting sun cast a warm glow on the world, a world you could only perceive through a muted lens.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Scott said softly, his gaze fixed on the horizon.

"They say it is," you replied, a tinge of wistfulness in your voice.

Scott turned to you, a sincerity in his voice that resonated with you. "Maybe someday you'll see it all, (Y/N). But for now, you have something just as valuable."

He reached out, his hand hovering near yours. You mirrored the gesture, the space between your fingers tingling with unspoken emotions. "What's that?" you asked, a whisper that carried on the cool evening breeze.

Scott's smile, though unseen, was evident in the way his eyes crinkled at the edges. "Understanding. You're not alone. We both carry burdens, burdens that make us different, but also burdens that connect us."

In that moment, amidst the muted colors and the filtered light, you felt a warmth bloom in your chest that had nothing to do with the setting sun. You realized, with a jolt, that the hours spent training with Scott weren't just about mastering your power, they were about finding solace in shared experiences. The man beside you, with his unwavering support, was a beacon in a world that often felt isolating.

Weeks turned into months, and your bond with Scott deepened. You found comfort in his quiet strength, in the way he understood your struggles without needing words. You learned to communicate through subtle gestures, stolen glances, and shared laughter. One crisp autumn evening, as you sat by the window, a comfortable silence settling between you once more, Scott spoke.

"We may not see the world in the same way, (Y/N), but we see each other. And that's all that truly matters."

His words, laced with a quiet sincerity, sent a shiver down your spine. You met his gaze, a spark of understanding dancing in your own eyes. Perhaps you didn't need to see the world perfectly to find beauty. Perhaps the most vibrant colors existed in the warmth of shared understanding and the quiet promise whispered in the space between. As you leaned closer, the world blurring at the edges, you knew you had found a connection that transcended sight.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hey! before I begin, I wanted to say how much I love your comics!! the style and palettes are really soothing, and it's always nice to read them, relate heavily, and not feel quite such an oddball!! so thanks :]

I (very recently) received the results of my diagnosis for autism and adhd (I got both, and a couple other smaller things) and was wondering what things you did differently immediately after diagnosis that helped you? I've tried things like proper organisation and cleaning, keeping on top of deadlines for college as much as I am able, and trying to study as much as I can (a levels are very stressful even though I've only just started the course, and while these solutions are what's considered "good" by the college, its not really helping me as much as I would like)

a large part of the diagnosis was dedicated to brain function (I had the privelidge of being assessed privately, so the evidence was very detailed and thorough), and I scored stupidly high on vocabulary and language study. However, I feel like there's somewhat of a disconnect between the effort I've put in on my foreign language studies and the progress I'm seeing- I'm trying so so hard to understand grammatical concepts and absorb a lot of vocabulary in preparation for some smaller tests in the near future, but I'm not seeing the reward during lessons or even with preparation. I am fully aware that with all the work and effort I'm spending, I am closer than I would like to be to a meltdown and probably burnout, which I desperately want to avoid. It just feels that although my brain is wired for linguistic study, I feel like I'm falling behind or failing

I guess if you have any advice or anything that helped you once your diagnosis was confirmed, or tips for study, I would be greatly appreciative :]

Tldr: struggling with study and fearful of failure, any advice?

hnng I remember the stress of A levels, you couldn't pay me to go through that again 🫠

After being diagnosed I started to allow myself to unmask and stim in more obvious ways. Previously my stims had generally been pretty small, like flicking my fingers or wiggling a bit, but now I allow myself to flap and rock and play with fidget toys as well and it genuinely does help release tension.

It sounds like your're working really hard - if you feel close to burnout and/or meltdowns, you might be working too hard. I also found it really hard to take breaks when I was studying (...still do) but the truth is, by not allowing your mind to rest, you're actually making it harder for yourself to learn and retain information.

So my advice is, take a break! A real break, not 'I'm gonna scroll on my phone for a bit' or 'I went to the toilet that counts as a break right'. Get up, step away from your work for at least an hour, and do something you find relaxing and fun. Go for a walk or just sit outside. Make yourself a drink. Take a nap if you need to. Try to avoid looking at screens during your break if you can. And when you go back to studying, schedule times to have regular short breaks as well (eg a 10 minute break every hour). I set alarms for mine because otherwise I forget to move for five hours.

A break allows your brain to process the information and let it settle properly. When you go back to work you'll hopefully feel more refreshed and able to take in information again. Remember, if you've just started the course, then this is a marathon, not a sprint, so please try not to overdo it and burn yourself out right at the start. Conserve your energy for the long haul.

If you're still struggling, are you able to ask for help, maybe from a friend or a teacher? A teacher could give you some techniques on how to improve in the specific areas you find difficult, and sometimes just talking through the bit you're having trouble with or not understanding can help a lot.

Good luck with your studies and I hope you take some time to rest as well :)

[catbatart]

How was Anime Weekend Atlanta? I heard a lot of bad things from other vendors and artists that the show messed up real bad. I hope you made your booth fee back at least 🤞

Hey there! Thank you so much for asking!

AWA was very mediocre this year, which is VERY SAD because it was my first AWA and people seem to have had great experiences with it in the past! There were several mid-tier issues that all happened at the same time where if it was only a single one of those issues, it probably would have been fine???

I did make back costs plus some profit, which is really good, but I am definitely one of the fortunate ones. Even so, it was NOT worth the 9 hour drive and the $1500 costs I paid to be there. Several friends of mine did not even make costs back, which is soooo devastating, especially to end the year off with. I can do a more thorough breakdown at some point if people want.

THAT BEING SAID-

I met some AMAZING people there. My gripes had nothing to do with the attendees! And I got to visit the Georgia aquarium, which was SO. COOL.

I will NOT be applying for next year, but I'm open for trying to go back in 2026 if AWA gets it together. I did apply for Momocon, however, and I'd love to do Dragoncon someday (bls let me in, Dragoncon!) so I'm not writing off Atlanta!

[jennay]

I'm Fine

Request: Hello sweet bean! I'm a relatively new fan of yours and have loved everything you've written about Noah thus far. The last one I read had me thinking of a request? I was wondering what Noah would do if he found out his girlfriend was having an overwhelming day and wanted to cheer her up? Like, there was a mountain of small inconveniences that kept piling up and she was shutting down from her own anxiety

An: Thank you for calling me sweet bean. It's literally my new favorite thing to be called. I hope you enjoy! I tried!

Noah Sebastian master List

Warnings: floof anxiety?

You woke up from a nightmare that doomed your day. Fear and panic gripped your heart. Things went downhill when you found out your alarm had failed, forcing you to hurry to work; your coffee maker had malfunctioned, depriving you of your caffeine boost; and Noah had snatched the last of your favorite breakfast bars last night without letting you know.

You hoped things would improve as you finally got your car to start after several attempts. But you were mistaken.

You got to work and nearly died from a heart attack when you saw the pile of documents and the list of appointments that awaited you. You felt overwhelmed by the work your secretary assigned you as if you were a superhuman lawyer who could handle everything simultaneously.

You wished you could walk away from it all but knew that was not an option. Being a lawyer was already stressful and demanding, and dealing with this extra workload was not making it any easier.

You needed to talk with Amanda, your secretary, and see if some of these could be moved around.

You walk into her office and greet her with a smile; you don't want to be mean or upset her. "Hey," You say, sitting at the chair by her desk. "So I need a favor." You lean over and point to the screen. "Can you please call these two clients and ask if they can come in tomorrow? I have the Taylors coming in at 9 a.m., and the meeting always runs over the scheduled time. If you can start booking them out for at least two hours, that would be amazing."

She nods her head, apologizing, "I'm sorry. I know you've said that before. I'll write it down."

"That's alright, don't worry about it. I just need at least an hour between each meeting so that I can be ready and not rush things, but the Taylors are always here for a long time; they're very thorough and want to know everything that's going on.." You sighed and rubbed your temples. "I'll be in my office if you need me. Please let me know if anything comes up."

You sit at your desk, reviewing papers and bracing yourself for the chaos people will bring you today.

Sometimes, it takes a toll on you, especially when your life is not going smoothly. You glance at the clock and see you have a few minutes before your clients arrive. You decide to text Noah, who always knows how to cheer you up.

Can I come home already? I miss you and could use some aggressive snuggles right now. This day has been shit already.

You smile when he texts you back almost immediately. You know he is an early riser, but you are still impressed by how fast he replies. He must have sensed your urgency.

I'll be here when you get home, baby. You can have all the cuddles you want. I love you. You're a badass; you'll kick the shit out of the day. Ok?

You feel thankful for Noah. He is the best thing that's happened to you. He’s supportive, caring, funny, sexy, and makes you feel loved and appreciated.

On days like this, you wish you could shrink him to a smaller size, put him in your pocket, and carry him around. Whenever you needed him, he would pop out and say words of encouragement and sweet things to you. Your life would be so much easier with a pocket-sized Noah.

You put your phone in the drawer as your office door opens, and Amanda's head pokes through the gap. She is your receptionist and assistant, and she helps you manage your schedule and appointments.

"Your 9 o'clock is here," she says.

You nod your head, "Go ahead and send them in."

You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for another session. You hope Noah's words will give you the strength and patience to get through the day.

You storm into the house, slamming the door behind you. You are overwhelmed by emotions. Your hair is soaked from the rain, and your mascara runs down your cheeks. You have had the worst day ever, and all you want is Noah's warm embrace and gentle words. "Noah, are you home?" You call out, your voice cracking.

You hear him reply from the living room. "Yeah, I'm here. Did you take a cab home?"

You can't contain your feelings any longer. You let out a loud sob, toss your bags aside, and hide your face in your hands, crying hysterically.

"Oh, babe," Noah says, getting up and hurrying to you. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his chest, where you press your face and cry even harder.

He kisses your hair and strokes your back gently. "Shh, it's ok." He whispers. "I'm here for you."

You shake your head. "I'm over it. Can you just put me out of my misery and put a pillow over my head?"

He chuckles softly, "No, no, no. Come on. I have something for you." He holds your hand and leads you to the dining room, where you see a beautiful bouquet of roses in a vase on the table. He has also ordered Chinese food, your favorite cuisine. You notice your favorite liquor on the counter with other ingredients, indicating that Noah plans to make cocktails for you tonight.

As you gasp, your hands instinctively cover your mouth. Noah's thoughtfulness never ceases to amaze you.

You wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle your face into his chest, feeling his warmth and comfort. "Thank you," you whisper.

Noah kisses the top of your head and rubs your back gently. "Anything for you, princess." He pulls away, and you look up at him, seeing love and kindness in his eyes. "I'm sorry you had such a tough day," he says, kissing your forehead. "Go relax. I'll take care of everything." He pauses briefly, "You're getting a nice back rub tonight, too." He says, holding his hands up and wiggling his fingers.

You smile, walking back to your room and changing into the bathroom, where you wash your face to remove all the smeared makeup.

Sometimes, you wondered how Noah could look at you so lovingly when you look as rough as you did.

After changing, you return to the dining room, where Noah waits patiently. He smiles at you, happy to see you approach. He stands up and scoots out your chair. "Come sit."

You smile at the gesture, excited for the food and fruity mixed drink in front of you. "God, I love you," you say, taking a long sip of your beverage.

Noah laughs, "Me or the drink?"

You lift your eyes to his, "Both, but mostly you."

He chuckles while taking a bite of his food. "So," he says, putting his fork down, "What happened today?"

Your shoulders drop, remembering the annoyance of the day you didn't

want to talk about every little thing, from the coffee pot to your clients not being very understanding and your car breaking down. "Just casual bullshit." You sip your drink, "My car is in the parking lot at work…"

Noah groans, "Again? I thought Folio looked at it?"

"He did, but he's not a miracle worker, and I'm honestly not sure there's any hope for that thing. It's old." You say, forcing a smile. "Let's talk about you."

Noah's eyebrows knit together in frustration as he says, "You always do this." He laughs, but you can hear the edge in his voice. He leans back in his chair and looks at you pleadingly. "I want to hear about your day; in therapy, they say it's good to talk about things. It helps you process and cope with them." He reaches for your hand across the table, his eyes softening.

You shake your head, feeling affection for him. You stand up and gather the empty plates, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, my love, you're not my therapist." You lean down and kiss his cheek, feeling his stubble against your lips. "We can talk about it tomorrow if you want to. But right now I just want you as Noah. Ok?" You giggle as you walk away from him, carrying the dishes to the sink. You drop them in, deciding to deal with them later. You can feel the effects of the alcohol you had with dinner. Your face is warm, and your worries seem distant and trivial. You feel happy and relaxed as you walk back to Noah.

You stand before him, smiling with rosy cheeks and a gentle gaze. "I really do appreciate you." You say sincerely, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He grins and stands up, holding you close. He takes your hand and leads you to the living room, where he sits on the couch and pulls you down to sit before him. He gently lifts your shirt over your head and tosses it aside, handing you the throw blanket to cover your chest with, knowing you'd get cold. He places his hands on your back and starts to massage your tense muscles with gentle pressure. He draws circles on your skin with his fingers, making you sigh in contentment.

You feel a knot of tension in your chest and decide to share what's been bothering you the most today. "The Taylors said I'm a bad lawyer and won't be using me anymore." You say, finally opening up to him. "They accused me of being incompetent and unprofessional just because I refused to lie for them in court."

Noah's hands freeze for a second, and he curses under his breath. "Dicks." He says before resuming his soothing motions. "You don't need them anyway. You did the right thing, babe. You have integrity and ethics, unlike them."

You let out a deep breath, feeling a bit of relief from his words and touch. "I do, though. I've been working with them for so long, and I hate saying this because I'm not just in it for the money, but they were a huge source of my income. They paid me well, and they had a lot of connections in the industry."

Noah wraps his arms around you and pulls at you, signaling he wants you in his lap. "There'll be others, you don't need people who treat you like shit." He says softly in your ear. "You're an amazing lawyer, and you have a great reputation. You'll find better clients who appreciate you and respect you."

You smile weakly and lean your head on his chest. "That's most of my clientele." You say with a laugh. "Most of them are greedy, selfish, and dishonest. That's why I'm always so thankful to come home to you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Noah kisses the top of your head and whispers, "I love you and I'm always here for you. No matter what."

You smile up at him, feeling his warm breath on your face as you nuzzle close to his neck. He wraps the blanket tighter around your bare chest, making you feel safe and loved. "I know. I feel it, and I'm grateful for it." You whisper, letting him know you appreciate his presence in your life.

He leans his head on yours, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. He kisses your hair softly, making you sigh in contentment. "We'll get everything figured out with your car and your job, and I won't eat your breakfast bars anymore." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

You laugh against his neck, feeling his pulse quicken under your lips. "You can eat all the breakfast bars you want if my nights end this perfectly." You say, looking into his eyes and seeing the love and happiness reflected there.

He smiles back at you, pulling you closer for a passionate kiss.

You melt into him, forgetting about all your worries and troubles. All that matters is him and this moment.

You feel his hand caress your cheek, then move down to your waist. He lifts you gently, carrying you to the bedroom. You wrap your legs around him, holding him tight.

He whispers in your ear, "I love you so fucking much."

You smile, feeling the same way. You kiss him again, ready to show him how much you love him.

Tags: @thisbicc @yumikitten @lma1986 @chemicallady

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

My danganronpa v3 chapter 6 running commentary:

"MY NAME IS MAKOTO??????"

excuse me you black-haired bitch you're not makoto naegi

bro what the HELL was going on in that cutscene i'm so confused

"if my actions result in your deaths so be it" nah there's something wrong here, that doesn't sound like that keebo i know

keebo's protecting us he's stalling keebo i love you i love you so much

guys i gotta level up my FRIENDSHIP POINTS to move ROCKS

ah shit fam we finally found kokichi's lab. it looks like a door from fallout in a literal tunnel underground lol

kokichi wants to be a batman villain so bad

is kokichi actually the ultimate improv comedian or something what is this

what is the "inconsistency" in the hope's peak academy book that shuichi pointed out but won't tell me? come on now don't leave me hanging. is it that makoto established the academy for normies actually? or is it something to do with the secret DR2 killing game?

i'm not wrong about either of those facts, am i? am i misremembering? didn't makoto say in i think the anime that he wanted to establish the new hope's peak for everyone and not just ultimates? and weren't the events of jabberwock island kept a secret from the general public? the fact that he was trying to rehab the remnants of despair in the neo world program was supposed to be a secret, right? to protect them?? am i wrong about that??

that flashback light only had me more confused

woah you can go outside and watch an action sequence of keebo fighting an exisal that's fucking sick

kokichi has the wax figure of rantaro?? just strung up by his bed?? what the????

oh THAT'S where the caged child document went!

so he really WAS the leader of the ultimate improv comedy group

i bet they do flash mobs

i think a more accurate title for him would be "ultimate little shit"

obsessed with the whiteboard in his room with all our pictures on it. he wrote who murdered whom, then wrote "suspicious" by maki, "weird" by keebo, "trustworthy?" by me, and "annoying" by the monokubs lol

REAL makoto naegi??? in the flashback flesh???

hell yeah we're FINALLY going to rantaro's lab!

...now that i'm in here i instantly regret it i don't like it in here

how did kokichi know about the vaults in rantaro's lab early enough to leave those notes? did HE even leave those notes? and WHY do the vaults have a monokuma USB in them?

is it gonna have that message from rantaro that we saw in a cutscene earlier?

ha i knew it

ultimate survivor? maybe himiko wasn't joking when she said maybe he went on a bunch of game shows lol. get this man to CBS

"i never imagined rantaro the first victim would come up again like this" i mean, *i* could! at least i was hoping. there were way too many unanswered questions about him

the voice of one of these unnamed classmates in this flashback sounds SUSPICIOUSLY like bryce papenbrook. i've learned never to take his presence lightly in these games

cold sleep room?!

aw hey the whole gang back together in the flashback! man it's been awhile since i've seen some of these people

i'm sorry, kaede has a TWIN??????

bro this game actually game overed me because i spent too much time clicking on people to talk to. I WAS TRYING TO BE THOROUGH IN MY INVESTIGATION!!!!!!! i didn't think it would do that to me, i just thought the time limit would be done once i'd completed everything. ffs

...motherkuma?

oh the mastermind just be making flashback lights to include whatever memories they choose? so yeah they all have to be COMPLETE crap

if himiko suddenly reappeared and is once again being super unhelpful about how she escaped the sealed hidden room, i'm guessing that means there's another door to that room

oh shit fam a hidden passage in the girl's bathroom? hm

hey they repaired keebo's ahoge! which was the key to his inner voice clearly

ha i knew those "small bugs" were actually cameras of a sort

"i'll hit them with my 'all your relationships will end up being love triangles' curse!" damn himiko that's cold. i feel like a remnant of despair would enjoy that tho

you know, if you'd asked me to predict who my final group would be, i NEVER would have guessed himiko and tsumugi. maki absolutely, keebo maybe, but never those two. this is such an odd grouping to be the final one

wait how the fuck do you know about jabberwock island, shuichi? or was that less secret than i thought?

i need to know more about this "previous game" rantaro survived

god how i fucking WISH rantaro was the ultimate game show host that would be so funny

your honor my girlfriend kaede was innocent!!!!!!!

are you telling me that the throwaway joke the game grumps made about the shot put ball landing right next to rantaro and not actually hitting him is what ACTUALLY happened???

i knew everyone kind of brushing off that tsumugi went to the bathroom back in chapter 1 was odd

we're doing a closing argument now? we haven't even hit intermission. i assume part 2 of this trial is just gonna be off the rails then

they're literally all begging tsumugi to tell them she's not the mastermind but she can't do it

dude if kokichi were here he would be tearing her apart verbally

junko the 53rd?! new ultimate despair?

is tsumugi just doing a REALLY effective cosplay rn?

they all keep trying to tell me that kokichi was a remnant of despair but i don't believe he was

don't tell me that makoto went back on his promise to have hope's peak be for normies

i like to believe that toko wrote this book

yeah i knew all those memories were fake as shit. we're in like a hunger games arena i'm calling it now

lol they weren't even hope's peak students? i'm willing to be they're not even ultimates at all, and not a single one of their backstories is real

i like to imagine everyone who's died so far is watching this from another room like everyone eliminated from a season of the bachelor or survivor watching the finale episode

the ONLY piece of evidence leading me to believe anything told to us might've been even remotely real is kaito's strange illness. other than that, i'm fairly certain every single thing told to us about the backstory and the outside world is fake. i bet there is no gofer project, there were no meteorites, there is no disease

what the- HAJIME?????

mahiru? okay this is starting to get a little batshit. felt some whiplash when she turned into hiro and then soda

hey don't you DARE turn into makoto naegi that feels disrespectful

bro does this take place in a different universe from the other two games???

this is getting way too meta

i have no idea where this goes from here if this isn't in the same universe as the other games

wait are we actually in a time loop of sorts, like i'd predicted awhile back?

oh dude i just noticed there are little "V"s and "3"s in the eyes when tsumugi is cosplaying

is this girl really blaming her actions on ~society~?

bro this is getting WAY too meta. like, past the point of being fun

shuichi just shouting at them to shut up is my mood rn

is this a roundabout way of saying they're all quote-unquote actors?

damn even that illness was fake huh

bro not her actually becoming soda to make the tenko comparison 😂

guys i'm not really sure what to make of this. idk where to go from here

like i genuinely feel like a bucket of cold water was just poured on me. like. what the fuck is this

guys i'm gonna be real: this fucking sucks. i've never been a fan of "it was a dream this whole time and none of it mattered or was real" storylines. it's lazy writing. and i really feel it here

bro i got the BAD END??

...or maybe not?

oh my god is keebo gonna be my actual savior??

i knew keebo was the only bitch around here i could trust

hang on am i playing as keebo now?? it's my dream. he had an ahoge for a reason! the TRUE true protagonist! this game is starting to redeem itself

lol of course that was an antenna. and he was basically the first person camera for the audience? interesting

you know this means in the final chapter the audience wasn't watching the rest of us running around finding clues for the situation, they were watching keebo fight exisals lol

ULTIMATE HOPE ROBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there's always an ultimate hope at the end of these. and it's very interesting that unlike the other games, they didn't have it be the character i was controlling for a majority of the game. and tbh i think that was the correct choice. shuichi you're great and your heart's in the right place but you're not the ultimate hope lol

oh this is now a battle to save keebo's life???????? oh i am putting my ALL into this

the fuck kind of rules are these? even if we win we gotta sacrifice two of us? huh?

speaking of, what happened to the 11 other people in this game? are they actually dead? or not? that feels very unclear now

i gotta fight shuichi in verbal sword battle? i gotta fight essentially myself?

i was never good at the sword minigames i could never figure out the best way to control it

oh man that poor boy is just so clinically depressed

and the fact that we had that sword fight to clair de lune...oh man

shuichi i am unsure about this logic of yours

oh am i shuichi again now?

yes shuichi we stan a weak king

tsumugi don't you dare talk as makoto you're making a mockery of everything he stood for

wait now i get to be himiko too? i better get a turn as maki by the end of this

oh thank god i do

thank goodness i didn't enable the "more time" skill

did they fry keebo?????????? unforgiveable unforgiveable UNFORGIVEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god they took him over i hate this. let me go back to playing as keebo again

THEY ERASED HIS PERSONALITY??????? i'm never forgiving this game. this last chapter is like the finale of how i met your mother

at least he came back to say goodbye 😭

I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT THIS FAR AND THEY FUCKING TOOK KEEBO FROM ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

can't believe i had to fight keebo and not tsumugi in the final battle

"we're friends, aren't we?" oh shut the fuck UP, tsumugi

no votes? thanks keebs

keebo fucking razing the place to the ground and executing everyone else in the process was NOT how i expected this game to end

oh shit they pulled a fast one on me with this epilogue - shuichi and maki and himiko lived?!? damn

they've made it unclear whether or not this is ACTUALLY in the same world as makoto and friends ughhh

i hate that they ripped keebo from me at the last second. they erased his personality and made him self-destruct. he was the hero but at what cost. this is a personal betrayal

could they rebuild him? maybe? all i want is a reunion with keebo and the survivors (VERY small survivor pool this time btw)

i'm going to be thinking about keebo nonstop for days fyi

guys, i gotta be real with you. this was the most unsatisfying horseshit. it felt like nothing mattered, and honestly it felt like they were making a mockery of us for enjoying the previous games and content. i didn't like it. and honestly it felt...lazy? like i had been speculating so much about how this would connect with the rest of the danganronpa plot and how this would build upon the already established story and characters. like you should've seen the theories i had in my head (one of my best ones: tsumugi was a rogue hope's peak student who idolized junko and wanted to do a killing game in her honor. keebo was a plant from makoto and the future foundation/academy to guide the others and eventually help lead to their rescue - that would've been a great plotline tbh). but no, none of that happened, it didn't build on the story, it didn't add to it, it wasn't part of the same story. it was just............nothing. it didn't lead anywhere, it didn't build up to anything. it just went nowhere and did nothing, it wasn't connected. it felt like all the investigating i did to find out the truth was a waste of time, and all the plot twists and turns that happened and all the choices the characters made had no fucking payoff. it was so frustrating. there are so many creative choices they could've made to build on the story in the danganronpa world but...that meta bullshit was not it.

in other news, i have already started writing a fanfiction: an alternate version of v3 that actually takes place in-universe, therefore making all the games connected! and i think what i've thought up is pretty good, ngl. it might be related to that theory i mentioned above. if you're interested in reading, lmk and i'll work to write it faster!

and thus officially concludes my v3 gameplay commentary! i might post here and there about my experiences in the bonus modes as i do them

[ckret2]

If you don't mind my asking, what is your outlining process like? Is it a bulleted list of scenes, or paragraphs describing what you want to happen? How thorough is it, and how much do you just figure out as you go? I'm about to attempt to write a truly longform fanfic for the first time, and I've been a fan of yours long enough that I feel you probably have some sage wisdom on the matter.

You know what, I get this question with some regularity, so instead of trying to remember how I explained it last time, I'll just drop one of my outlines so I can link this the next time someone asks. Here's my full outline for chapters 33/34/35. Copy/pasted from my plotting sessions in discord with my writing buddies.

This is in two parts. The first part is my actual outline, which I ALWAYS had open while actually writing the chapters—I recommend open my outline and the finish chapters side-by-side so you can see just how closely the chapter follows the outline. My outline is VERY LONG and VERY DETAILED, down to exactly what happens in the conversations; this is because I've found that, for me, "write out THE ENTIRE chapter WITH all actions & dialogue (but writing it super badly)" + "writing the chapter well (but not needing to think about actions & dialogue AT ALL") is much, much faster than "do a simple outline (but figure out the action, dialogue, and how to write it well all at once)".

And the second part is a bunch of snippets from other plotting sessions where I was figuring out how to fit the tooth fairy arc into the whole fic, so you can see how I work on overarching plot lines.

Anywhere there's a "####" divider is a separation between different plotting sessions on different days. Anywhere text is in "[brackets]" it's either a paraphrase of something one of my writing buddies said (I don't post direct quotes publicly) or some kind of note to myself.

####

[This part is my actual outline I used to write the chapters]

So! Stan's having breakfast. Bill comes into the kitchen, plops down, "gooood morning—" "go away."

"Haha funny. Anyway! I need you to take me to your dentist." "No. I took you to the mall, you almost made my niece cry, my brother left a Shopliftaholics Anonymous flier on my bed, and all I got out of is was a crummy ring. You wanna go anywhere, talk to Soos."

Nope, it's gotta be Stan. (he doesn't wanna hang out with that loser Soos anyway.) Bill's trying to get fillings, and Stan's dentist does them for free.

Which is true, but it's weird that Bill knows that. Stan's dentist is some weirdo operating out of a back alley, with a weird pay structure. He charges normal dentist rates for regular dental maintenance, but he does gold fillings for free, and he'll pay YOU if he needs to pull your teeth. He's great! Stan hasn't had to pay for dental care in thirty years! Stan also wears dentures now, but hey, at least they were free.

So, since it's Stan's dentist, he's the only one who can take Bill. Stan sees where Bill's coming from; but he says no, because he doesn't wanna.

Okay, bill's gonna try another tact.

Stan, Bill is a simple creature. A simple creature who's used to being coated tip to base in a thin layer of pure, lustrous, 24 karat gold. Having skin makes his skin crawl. He doesn't *need* any dental work done, his teeth are fine, but he'd really, *really* like to have just a *bit* of gold, *somewhere* on his body, so he feels a *little* more like himself in his final days. (you're losing my sympathy by the second, cipher.) ... And then once he's dead, he supposes he'll be leaving behind a corpse with a mouthful of free gold that whoever's disposing of his remains can do whatever they want with, do you catch his meaning Stanley?

That's absolutely *disgusting.* ... But okay, he's bribed! ...... They're not telling Ford about this, right? Right. They're shaking on it. Agreed. They'll take this to their graves. ... Or to Bill's grave, anyway.

Hey, it's free gold that Bill is offering him totally voluntarily. After all the trouble this demon's brought into their lives, the LEAST Stan can get in return is a little financial compensation.

Great! Deal made! Time to go get the cursed friendship bracelets and then they can head out—

Ohhh no, Stan isn't trusting a bit of colored lace and some mystical hocus-pocus to keep Bill contained. They're doing this PROPERLY. He's gonna MAKE SURE Bill can't escape. They're going to Soos and getting the REAL, METAL handcuffs from him. Try to get out of THAT! Now... to the car!

... Bill's right wrist is cuffed to Stan's left wrist. This puts Bill on Stan's left side. How are they gonna get Stan in the driver's seat.

... Does Stan want Bill to drive— NO, no, NOPE, he is NOT letting Bill drive, under ANY circumstances, NOT a chance. Okay fine so how are they doing this.

Cue Stan driving with Bill cuddled up against his right side and Bill's right arm stretched across Stan's chest. It's very intimate. Very romantic. You can practically hear Unchained Melody playing in the background They are both so very very uncomfortable.

[imagine a gif from Ghost]

Exactly like that but imagine them grimacing in disgust the whole time

Definitely one of the worst experiences Stan has ever had handcuffed in a car.

So after a VERY unpleasant drive they park, get out—and immediately cross paths with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Stan's like ah great, last thing they need, police nearby while they're doing something weird. Well, if they don't make eye contact and go about their way—

Bill waves like HI DARRYL, HI EDWIN, HOW'S IT GOING? WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING HAHA and they're like OH HEY GOLDIE HOW'VE YOU BEEN, DID YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMERWEEN and Stan is like "*Bill what do you think you're doing getting their attention, do you want them asking questions*" and Bill goes "🙂 I did not think this through 🙂"

Which is of course when they go "hey why are you handcuffed to Mr. Pines? You need some help there? I bet we've got a key that matches that handcuff model" and oh Stan BETS that Bill would LOVE to accept that offer and go traipsing off into town with the cops, so he goes "NOPE, that's fine, thank you officers, but we're keeping the handcuffs on. ... Because. They're necessary. ... For me. ... Because I'm old. ... It's to keep me from wandering into traffic."

Bill's a quick liar, he goes haha yep that's true!! This guy's cataracts are so bad, sometimes he asks us if he's dying because all he can see is a white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And the way his mind's going, woof—" "(all right you don't have to lay it on so thick)" "—he's so addled it's like he's completely forgotten the last century of transportation advancements, he'll just walk right off the curb and expect the horse-drawn carriages to stop for him—" "Hahaaa, but we won't bore you with my medical history! *C'mon,* Goldie, you're gonna make me *late* to my *heart doctor appointment.* You don't want my life on your hands, do you." "(You know, I think I kind of do.)"

The cops are like, you can't see? didn't we just see you get out of the driver's seat of your car? and they're like ......... Goldie's giving him directions. 😃

Oh! That makes sense. Okay. They'll let them get to their doctor's appointment. They wander off like y'know i think Goldie's a step up from that seeing-eye bear

They look at each other like, all right, good improv, you're not bad. They can respect each other for that. Stan thinks Bill wouldn't be bad to run a con with if he were literally anybody other than who he is. Okay, on to the dentist.

So the dentist's office is a little garden shed around back behind some other totally unrelated business. Whatever business I can think of that would be funniest. It's a ramshackle nightmare. The dentist, also, is a ramshackle nightmare.

[candy store]

He's surprised to see Stan there, on account of the fact that Stan has no teeth. Because the dentist pulled them all. ... he's not mad is he

No, no, the dentures are great! They're lower maintenance! Sort of. In a way. Anyway, he's here to refer a new customer! ... does he get any kind of referral bonus or

Yeah have a uhhh gold coin or something, here. Okay! New customer! What can he do you for?

Fillings! Okay, on which teeth? Whichever he thinks would look best with some! Dealer's choice! Bill's leaving it in his hands! All that matters is that currently Bill's teeth do *not* have any gold in them, and he'd like that to change by the time he leaves.

The dentist gives Stan a look like "is this freak serious" and Stan sorta shrug nods like "yeah he's serious" and the dentist is like okay!!! Super! This'll be fun! Let's see what he has to work with.

The dentist is amazed at Bill's teeth. Wow. So clean. Perfectly white. Did you just get these cleaned, where'd you get it done at? No? Well, looks amazing. And no wear at all, remarkable... Do you mind if he takes a few pictures? Have you ever considered having any of these pulled?

Stan's like yeesh, he forgot how creepy this guy is. He's like a serial killer crossed with a nerd with a tooth fetish.

Well, the dentist is sorry to say that all of these are pristine. Not a hint of cavities—not even plaque. It'd be a shame to drill them. You *sure* you don't want one pulled...?

Stan is 😬 but Bill is handling this like it's a totally normal question for him to be getting. Y'know what, just the fillings today—but who knows, maybe he'll feel naughty and be back in a couple of weeks haha. Just pick a couple of your least favorite teeth to drill into!

Okay, suit yourself. Let's gas you up and get drilling.

This is the first time Stan's had an opportunity to watch the dentist at work. Which is how he learns for the first time that he saves all the little tooth dust & shards off his drill in a tiny Petri dish. Yeesh. He's an even bigger creep than Stan thought.

Bill doesn't handle the gas well. It's not that it makes him sick or anything. He just forgets how to human. The dentist tells him to hold his mouth open and he holds his eyes open until they water. He keeps forgetting his mouth is occupied and talking to the dentist while he trying to drill. When he's let go, he heaves himself off the chair and immediately falls on the ground because he expected to float. Stan has to support him to the door and he keeps trying to walk sideways. Bill doesn't mind, he feels great! Waves at the dentist as they leave. Thanks for the gold, Atlantis is rising as we speak, you have seven years to prepare for the plague, tell the little lady he said hi! Byyye! Stan is desperately trying to drag him out the door, he turns to Stan like "I made up the bit about Atlantis" "okay now shut up and stop saying weird things"

But not the plague part

The fic *does* take place in 2013

They're driving home. Smushed together all intimate-like. You can almost hear Careless Whisper playing. Except this time Bill is loudly and terribly singing along. He keeps trying to take the steering wheel and turn it like a kid playing in a toy car and Stan has to keep swatting his hand away. Bill's like "I can't feel my tongue at all! I bet I can chew it off!" "Don't do that." "The last time my mouth was this numb, my girlfriend had just gotten done with me, haha. I was almost blind for the next hour from all the spores—" "I swear if you don't shut up—" "I just realized I haven't gotten any action since I died. Wow. This isn't a weird time to bring that up, is it?" "Bill if you say ONE MORE weird thing you're riding home on the roof of the car."

Bill is quiet for three seconds. "Your arm's really beefy! What's your favorite flavor of cancer?"

Mabel: "why are you on top of the car?"

Bill, eyes wide, hair disheveled, one arm hanging through the driver's door, sprawled out desperately clinging to the roof like his life depends on it: "I don't know, it's all a blur." (Note to self, mention Mabel and dipper are heading out for a sleepover or something)

Well, *that* was fun! 🙂 Bill thinks it was fun, anyway. Stan doesn't agree. Anyway, where's Soos? They need the key to the handcuffs.

Soos is having dinner with Melody's family this evening. They call him to ask where the key is. Haha, sorry dudes! He totally forgot he still had it. Yeah, it's on his keyring. Is that, like, gonna be a problem, or...

Well—pff—when are you gonna be back?? Uhhh he's not sure, kinda late maybe. Well, can he duck out and bring them the key? Uhhhh he WOULD but, he's REALLY worried about impressing Melody's parents, and the casserole's about to come out, and he thinks they might judge him if he leaves, and it would probably ruin dinner... Okay FINE, then what if they drive over to get the key? ("STAN CAN I DRIVE THIS TIME—" "ABSOLUTELY NOT") Oh sure, they can drive over if they want—anyway Melody's parents' place is in Portland.

Which is waaaay outside the barrier around Gravity Falls

Welp. That ain't happening. Looks like they're stuck.

... They could call Blubs and Durland—?

NOPE Stan is NOT calling the cops for help NUH UH, he'll WAIT ALL NIGHT if he has to. ... so. What do they do until then.

Cue them grumpily watching a game show together. Bill refuses to sit in the living room with Stan so Stan's on the couch and Bill's sitting in the entryway on the stairs and their handcuffs are strung through the doorway. Hey Stan, still glad you went with the handcuffs instead of the friendship bracelets? Shut up.

Bill's shouting out the answers to every question on the show almost sooner than they're displayed and eventually Stan is like, man, we'd clean up if we put you on this show. No one would ever figure out how you're cheating. And Bill's like HA, listen to you!! If you were Ford you'd be mad that I'm giving away all the answers before you can guess!! That's the great thing about you, Stan, you don't get irritated at Bill for stupid little reasons, you're more fun. HEY FORD DID YOU HEAR THAT, STAN'S THE FUN TWIN— And Stan's like shut up you idiot ford's in the basement he can't hear you. And what are you talking about, you irritate me all the time. I'm constantly infuriated by you. And Bill's like, oh, well, i guess i just don't care when you're irritated then lmao.

Stan's like what's with you anyway, why are you so obsessed with Stan's brother. And bill says SDFHFJF?? DSFKLGLJ??? FLKJFHGD???? EXCUSE M. EXCUSE ME?? OBSESSED??? MOI???? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

Is it OBSESSION to SOMETIMES PAY ATTENTION to the one person in the house he HAPPENS to know best and to whom he HAPPENS to be a teacher and muse and friend— and Stan's like oh that's a load of bull, you're not ANY of those things to him. Friend?? Friend???? HE WANTS YOU DEAD and Bill's like WELL IF THAT'S *SO* then doesn't it also make plenty of sense to keep an eye on, you know, THE GUY THAT *KILLED* HIM, like there's nothing mysterious about why he'd focus a *little* on that person—

THAT'S IT, THAT'S JUST IT!!!! There are TWO people who killed Bill, remember? That was a two-man con he fell for! But he keeps treating Ford like he was the only one there! If Ford's in the room, he's the only person Bill talks to, and if he ISN'T in the room then Bill's yelling across the house for him, and Ford wants less to do with him than anyone else, what the heck, it's creepy—

Only *one* person killed Bill. Stan's not the man who killed him; he's just the place where Bill was killed.

And that baffles Stan into shutting up a second.

Bill's like, do you even remember what happened in your brain?? and Stan's like :/ so Bill's like LMAO!! We were both trapped in there when Ford fired the gun. Completely powerless. Stan was weeping and begging for a way out even, but there was nothing Bill could do by then— and Stan's like all right I KNOW that THAT didn't happen! so Bill's like fine fine okay all right you got me, we actually had this big psychic laser fight, imagining up all sorts of fantastical weapons. And Stan's like, ehhhh, all right, that sounds more like me. And bill says but it was all IMAGINARY, it was a vast illusion, at that point there was nothing I could do to you and nothing you could do to me. We were just two victims locked inside a burning house as it came down around us. YOU didn't kill me, you didn't have the POWER to kill me. And Stan just, gives him this discontented look. Hm.

Oh, oh wow, okay, Bill sees what's going on. Stan's jealous, isn't he. He thought offering up his body to be the scene of a murder finally made him a co-star instead of a sidekick. All their lives, Ford got more attention from daddy, more attention from the teachers, more attention from the WHOLE WORLD—and Stan finally thought he'd at least get a little attention from the big bad living nightmare. Just because he let his brother shoot him in the head. You weren't special enough for anyone else, why do you think you're special enough for Bill?

Oh yeah?? Well he bets he's special enough to break Bill's face— jerks him by the chain into the living room, fist raised; and Bill immediately pulls back as far as he can and tries to shield his face.

As a helpful reminder, Bill's death actually went like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D3adyJQDqI so 1) he is VERY much lying to Stan, and 2) getting punched in the eye by Stan in the living room is still echoing in his nightmares.

So there's a split second where Bill is absolutely blind with terror, gets out a strangled "NO—!" and then they both freeze and stare at each other. Stan knows what just happened. And Bill knows Stan knows. And Stan knows Bill knows Stan knows.

Bill immediately plays it off, "come on, I just got all this dental work done, at least give me a couple days to enjoy it before you pound it in. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mine having a flatter face, all these bones and cartilage jutting out never did feel right—"

Stan feigns a punch. Bill flinches. Stan laughs at him.

And what's Bill gonna do? Fight him? He is not trained in 3D brawling. He tries, very hard, to explode Stan with his brain. This usually works on people who are annoying him. But alas. "If I had one billion-billionth of my power back I'd have already destroyed you—!" "But you DON'T, sucker!!" Bill screams in frustration and stomps off to go sulk somewhere

Aaand is immediately jerked back because of the handcuffs. Whoops.

"... Whatever I don't even care about your stupid aggressive mammal posturing. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I'm calm. You're just making yourself look stupid. ... I wanna go to bed."

####

So!! Attempting plotting. When we left off, Bill wanted to go to bed. Which is a problem since he's still handcuffed to Stan

Cue Ford going "Bill. Why are you sleeping on the floor in front of my bedroom door."

Well you see, STAN got them handcuffed together until morning, and Bill tried to be accommodating, but Stan doesn't want to sleep in the attic and won't let Bill sleep in the guest room— (Stan yelling "and Mr. Accommodating here refuses to sleep in the living room") —so the best compromise they've got is sleeping on the floor with the handcuff chain strung under the guest room door, see. Does Ford want in? It'll take a little coordination to get the door open but they've done this once before—

Ford's not messing with this. He's sleeping in the basement. Good night.

At some point in this I've gotta establish that Mabel and Dipper are out of the house for the night. Maybe they're just leaving as Stan and Bill get home. Anyway the point is Bill and Stan are effectively at home alone for the night. Maybe Soos's grandma is still there, she's a little old lady, she wouldn't be much help in a fight

So. Somehow I've gotta get them from being asleep to getting woken up by the dentist being in the house, with the tooth fairy. There's some transitional material I'm missing that I've gotta fill in later.

Maybe Bill wakes up with the dentist's tools already in his mouth, ready to pull. Waking up at 2 am to invasive dental surgery. Bill's like, hello, very forward of you.

[horrified face]

That WOULD be a more appropriate reaction, if Bill weren't so weird.

Bangs on the door to wake up Stan, WE HAVE VISITORS, WAKE UP

Dentist realizes that Bill is stuck in place with the chain, pins him against the wall, and tries to go for his teeth. STAN SURE IS TAKING HIS TIME— Stan gets the door open just in time, Bill tumbles into the guest room, Stan goes wtf why is the dentist here?

The dentist goes uhhhh he just wanted to check on Bill's fillings, yeah, he thought one of them might be a little loose— Bill's like cut the crap, your boss put you up to this, what the heck does the little lady want with his mouth?

Stan's like what? What "little lady," this guy is self employed, what are you talking about— and Bill goes the TOOTH FAIRY, genius, why did you think your dentist pays YOU to pull your teeth! Who'd you think was funding him?! And, well, Stan can't say he ever put much thought into it. He just sort of took this whole thing at face value. But like the tooth fairy is fake right, like that's just stupid—

Which is when a fairy wearing baby teeth jewelry pops her head out of the dentist's bag. Stan's like oh well never mind, just one more crazy thing happening in this town. And Bill's like oh shit she's actually HERE, the situation just escalated significantly.

I've decided the tooth fairy's name is Pearl E. White.

Bill skips straight to addressing her by first name, which disconcerts everybody, not least of which is the tooth fairy herself. Lady, if you were toeing the line of your treaty any harder, you'd be tripping across it. What are you doing here and what do you want?

She's WELL within the bounds of the treaty, she hasn't laid a hand on Bill and she's not about to start, and she's been offering MORE than adequate financial compensation— Bill's like oh yeah I bet the queen would have something to say about you ordering your helper to rip out someone's teeth in the dead of night— and Stan's like hi, question, what the Fuck are you all talking about

Oh Bill can explain, Bill knows lots of things! So this fairy here has a *thing* for teeth. To the extent that she got into a habit of stealing them straight out of humans' mouths! And went so crazy over it that she actually dragged a fairy court into a war with humans over her teeth-stealing habits! Currently, she's only allowed to accept *already freed* teeth that are *voluntarily* offered to her by the owner, which is why she started bribing kids with money.

She starts getting into a gray area working with hired dentists—once a tooth has been handed over to a dentist, that dentist becomes its "owner," and can give that tooth to the tooth fairy—buuut the fact that he *extracted* the tooth puts it on shaky legal ground. Really, Bill thinks the only reason she's been getting away with THAT racket so long is because nobody's raised a legal challenge to it yet. Probably because most humans don't know it's even happening. And with the price of dental work being what it is, yeesh. But—by *any* reading of the treaty, hiring a human to nonconsensually rip out teeth on her behalf is beyond the pale. So she'd better have a good explanation for this!

Yeah, she does have a good explanation for this. SHE WANTS BILL'S TEETH! She'd do ANYTHING for one of his teeth! They're the most amazing teeth she's ever seen!!!

The dentist is like, holding her back from lunging at Bill's face

Okay, great! Fantastic! Bill's not above a little bargaining and he's not too attached to this body—so how much gold you got on you, kid?

Oh no, she's not bargaining. Bill already knows too much, she's NOT about to get blackmailed by a human, and she's not going back to fairy jail. So here's what she's gonna do: she's gonna have her guy rip out every one of Bill's teeth, and then rip his head apart to destroy the witness, and the only negotiating Bill gets to do is on whether or not her guy uses the local anesthetic. What's it gonna be?

Stan cuts in like hi, hey, listen, he'd love to see Bill's head get ripped apart, but—crazy thing—it turns out there's 50/50 odds that killing him will lead to the end of the world, so maybe let's talk this out—

Tooth fairy points at Stan like he's got nothing left of interest to me. He's a witness. Kill him too.

Right, cool cool cool, hey Stan you know that spell Ford's got on Bill? Well if Bill casts it on the dentist, can Stan handle things from there?

Yeah, Stan sees where Bill is going with this. The dentist & fairy don't expect Bill and Stan to lunge for them; Bill casts the can't-use-doors spell on the dentist, Stan drags Bill with him into the hallway, Stan slams shut the door, and now the fairy's bellowing OPEN THE DOOR YOU IDIOT and the dentist is yelling HOW????

They retreat to the entryway. From there they can go out the front door, into the kitchen, into the living room, or upstairs. I need to keep them from just going out the front door, I'll need to think up an excuse for that later. Something magic maybe idk. I also need to keep them out of the kitchen, but that's a likely dead end unless they feel like climbing over the kitchen table to break a window. Basically, I need them to be limited to the living room or upstairs.

The living room is the better option—it has a door to the gift shop, and the gift shop has a door straight outside, as well as doors to the mystery shack museum & the hidden elevator to the basement, lots of great options in there. But Bill drags them upstairs instead. Bill you idiot what are you doing, this is obviously the worse direction??

Shut up we're going this way and Bill doesn't care what Stan thinks about it.

Why are we going this way?? How the heck do you expect to get out of here from up in the attic?! Bill doesn't know, it just seemed like a better idea! There should be a ladder in the storage over the kids' room, maybe they can take that and get down out a window, come on

Meanwhile the fairy is hollering about how YOU DON'T DESERVE THOSE TEETH, THEY'RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU! They're the most beautiful, pristine, unblemished, perfect teeth she's ever seen in her life. (Bill's like "are they really that great?" and Stan's like "eh, a little asymmetrical, honestly.") She's NEVER seen adult teeth so pure and HE'S RUINING THEM by carving out chunks of PERFECT TOOTH to put in unnecessary fillings! He doesn't have the right to those teeth, she deserves them! ("Hey Bill so you knew my dentist was working for the tooth fairy?" "Yes." "And you knew she goes crazy for nice teeth." "Yes." "And it didn't occur to you that she'd be outraged by you carving up your new teeth." "It's in the past, Stanley, focus on the present.")

—and she doesn't even KNOW how he got MAGIC TEETH! Fully adult teeth in a fully adult mouth but SOMEHOW they're barely a month old! It's unbelievable! She couldn't believe it herself until she saw his mouth with her own two eyes! She MUST have those teeth, as soon as possible, so she can preserve them like this, who knows if she'll ever find such a novelty again— Ahhh, so THAT'S what's motivating her. Welp, nope, sorry, Bill didn't see that one coming at all.

... hey, she's been buzzing around shouting at them but they don't hear her trying to help her dentist OR coming after them directly, what's she up to? Stan leans out the door to look into the main attic.

Huh, weird. She's just flying in a circle with what looks like a container of veggies from the fridge?? He thinks it's the sliced portobello mushrooms

WHAT!! OH THAT LITTLE CHEATER IS MAKING A FAIRY RING, THAT'S NOT FAIR—

Aaand poof, the dentist appears in the ring. The fairy must have already made the matching ring downstairs.

The dentist still needs a dumb name

[Drilliam]

Dr. Illiam. It was william but the W fell off his sign

[any relation to dr acula]

Went to dental school together. Dr. Acula kept mislabeling teeth, he always thinks the canines should be longer

He switched career tracks and became a phlebotomist

and speaking of drills — Fairy yells GET THEM, the dentist reaches into his dental tool bag, and pulls out a drill. Not a dental drill. A drill.

They slam the door. The dentist goes AW, F— AGAIN??? The tooth fairy's like JUST BREAK THROUGH IT, YOU HAVE POWER TOOLS

Bill has an idea. Stan, open the window, Bill's tying bedsheets (from Dipper's bed) together. Bill doesn't expect them to climb out that window, does he? No, he expects the *fairy* to think they went out that way, and they can hide in the closet until the fairy and dentist are past them so they can run downstairs.

Stan doesn't like the idea of hiding like cowards instead of fighting. Bill's like I can see a dozen futures that end with our brains splattered across Mabel's dolls you do NOT want to fight against power tools now COME ON

So they hide in the closet. It's uncomfortable in here. They're trying to stay quiet and listening to the dentist mauling his way through the door. Okay smart guy now what? What'll they do when they get downstairs?

Whispering at each other, "Why that way? Why not the living room, it's a lot faster to get out through the gift shop." "... Yeah. Fine—" "What's the matter, Bill, you got a problem with the living room?" "What? No, I SAID fine. It's fine." "It took you a long time." "I was trying to figure out if that was the fastest way out—" "Oh, really??? You sure you aren't SCARED to go in there with me? You think I haven't noticed how you bolt out of the living room any time I come in? Or how you flinch every time I raise my hand?" "... I don't know what you're talking about." "Do you REALLY think I don't remember how you died." "..." "As if I could forget the best moment of my life. Watching you on your knees, begging for mercy, while I put my fist through your face like a cheap mirror—" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" "ADMIT IT! ADMIT THAT I KILLED YOU TOO! I PLAYED JUST AS MUCH A PART IN IT AS HE DID!" "YOU DID *NOT* KILL ME, YOU *COULDN'T* HAVE KILLED ME, I'M NOT *CAPABLE* OF BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" "*THEN WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME!*" "*I'M NOT AFRAID—*"

Unsurprisingly, the dentist puts a drill through the closet door.

####

For now though: Drilliam is drilling. Bill and Stan are screaming. Bill's shouting IS THIS WORTH IT?? WAS GETTING YOUR DENTAL SCHOOL LOANS PAID OFF WORTH THIS?? DO YOU WANNA BE A MURDERER MAN and he's sobbing I CAN'T STOP NOW, I'M IN TOO DEEP this man is having the worst night, like sure he's obeying the tooth fairy but it's clear she's the bloodthirsty one here

Okay count of three Stan and Bill are kicking the door open. Bill falls flat on his ass and has to scramble back up but they manage to wedge the dentist behind the door in a corner with his drill stuck in the door. Waving at their faces, menacingly. Stupid cordless magic-powered drill. The fairy's buzzing in their faces making them swat at her, the dentist starts to wiggle out, they give the door one last hard shove to knock him off balance and then run for the stairs.

And, of course, they continue the most important discussion as they go. "WHY DOES IT MATTER to you so much whether Ford killed you or Ford *and me* killed you? Why is it SO hard to admit that I threw a punch that took you down?!" "You DIDN'T kill me, you CAN'T have killed me because YOU DON'T MATTER. YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT." "Dsklfslkjf NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO *KILL* YOU?! HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!"

And Bill senses he's found a weakness he can needle. "It's true! I've looked into countless universes and you just don't matter! No matter where you go or what you do, you just AREN'T IMPORTANT! If *anything*, all you ever do is make things *worse.* You know, I first tried to work with Ford in a universe where *you don't exist*? And I couldn't do it! He wouldn't give me a chance! Because YOU weren't there to ruin his life and make him desperate enough to turn to an alien, and YOU hadn't spent your whole childhood *training* him to put up with a manipulative con artist's lies—so he'd be *ready* when he met me. Isn't that funny, Stanley?"

Bill's dragged them to a stop now so he can rip into Stan: "You were stillborn in that universe. Your brother had to grow up without a twin watching over him—so he actually learned how to make friends. Your mother was DEVASTATED that she'd lost you—but you know what's funny? I think your family loved that dead baby you more than they EVER liked the disappointment you turned out to be—"

And That's When Stan Punches Bill As Hard As He Can

Bill goes DOWN. There is blood everywhere. Oh shit Stan didn't mean to do that much damage are you okay?

And THAT'S when Stan realizes that they're in the living room. Right where Bill died. Bill goaded him into it

And Bill holds up a tooth, like, thanks for the tooth fairy bait. (Staring Stan dead in the eye with this look like, SCARED OF YOU, AM I?? WHO'S SCARED NOW)

And Stan... Stan is really big on macho, "face your fears," "stand up for yourself," "fight back" displays of masculinity. Stan's figured out Bill isn't much of a physical fighter. He might never be able to throw a punch. He's got tiny little baby hands. But—but—if his response to "I think you're scared" is plunging himself directly into the situation he's scared of, making it as terrifying as possible, and taking it without flinching... Stan, grudgingly, has to respect that. He doesn't WANT to respect that. But it's the kind of thing he respects. [when it comes to fighting, he might be able to dish it; but he can take it]

So now he kinda sorta grudgingly respects Bill. ... But also kind of feels bad for Bill? for reasons he can't quite specify. (Because it's the kind of desperate-to-prove-himself stunt that a younger Stan would have pulled, when he was scared and alone and homeless and trying to earn his fortune and a macho mask was the ONLY thing he had going for him. And he's never seen Bill like that before—all he ever saw was Mr. Big Shot Triangle who always had everything under control up until he was tricked into dying. It's never occurred to him that Bill is scrambling too. That Bill might also be lost.)

(It doesn't escape Stan that, in Bill's efforts to get under Stan's skin, Bill slipped up and called *himself* a manipulative con artist.)

But no time to wax poetic, Stan's not an introspective guy. Tooth fairy bait! A whole entire tooth! What are they gonna do with it?

I still need to figure out this part. They've gotta set a trap to catch a fairy, they've gotta separate her from the dentist, and they've got to do it extremely fast, because being stuck behind a door in the attic isn't gonna hold the dentist for THAT long

What kinda stuff traps fairies. My initial thought was "salt rings" but no i think that's demons. Not sure that works on fairies too

[iron. Not a clothes iron]

idk, chucking an iron at a fairy's head...

Like that post that's like "i know traditionally it takes a wooden stake to the heart to kill a vampire, but i think we oughta give hitting them with a pickup a shot"

It'll probably be something in the gift shop, since they're getting corralled that way. Stan hears them coming and shoves Bill through the door and follows after him. This is a very baffling experience for Bill, as the door was previously closed, and Stan didn't open it, and yet Bill is going through it, and he does not understand enough about doors to make sense of this. (It's a swinging door, it doesn't lock or latch.) The dentist is coming at the door ready to drill it (he doesn't understand swinging doors either) and obviously if he tried to hit the door it'd just swing open which would be bad news for them so Stan is like HOLD IT, that door is LOAD BEARING, if you start hacking holes in it the WHOLE SHACK COULD COME DOWN ON US! And the dentist pauses like. Now that doesn't sound right, but i don't know enough about doors to dispute it.

A load bearing door. ... that swings.

The fairy's like WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR YOU IDIOT, HE'S LYING, DOORS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT— and Bill's like HEY CHECK THIS OUT. Waving his tooth around. YOU WANT THIS???

She's so outraged, YOU KNOCKED IT OUT, what if you CHIPPED IT, she's zooming for it

And Bill chucks it in... something. Undecided. Maybe I'll decide what it is later and then cleverly find a way to foreshadow it earlier in the chapter. Anyway it's totally an effective fairy trap, possibly made out of iron.

BAM, now she's TRAPPED. The dentist is dropped down on the ground to peer through the gap under the door (there's like a three inch gap at the bottom of the door) and goes NO and pounds the door. It swings a few inches open. He stares in bafflement. It swings back and hits him in the forehead. At least Bill's no longer alone in his suffering re: the mystery of doors.

Right! Looks like they've got a proper hostage situation here, don't they! If Drilliam would please drop the power tools and back away from the door. Very good. Stan picks up his bag, holds the dentist at drill point, and tells him to get walking, he'll escort him outside. Stan doesn't trust Bill with power tools, so he can stand guard over the fairy.

... which means Bill is alone with the fairy.

*So*. Bill believes they were negotiating? 🙂

She's not negotiating ANYTHING with him. Look at what he did to this poor tooth. She's hugging it.

SHE'S obeyed the letter of her treaty, even if not the spirit, and when the fairy court hears tell of this they'll back her up and come free her, and oh, THEN Bill and Stan will be in trouble—

WAIT I JUST REALIZED. HOW CAN STAN LEAVE IF HE"S HANDCUFFED TO BILL.......................

See this is wh. This is why i outline. This is. The reason i do it. Invaluable process.

Maybe the handcuff broke when Stan punched Bill. Turned out it was a cheapo flimsy chain. Maybe they're still handcuffed together and I'm just gonna have to dial back how much Bill can say to the fairy because he knows Stan is listening.

I feel like separating Stan & Bill's cuffs would be a cop out, unless I can make it a really good moment

You know what, if bill had an opportunity to talk to the fairy alone, he would've tried to rope her into getting him some help that i do NOT know how to pay off. I was gonna have him promise a tooth off of his stone corpse in return for Assistance (As Yet Undecided), but i feel like giving Bill an in with some nebulous organization of fairies might be giving him too much power too soon?? Like, "what COULD he do with a huge favor from a fairy" versus "what do I want him to currently be ABLE to do" + "what do I want people to THINK he can do," a fairy favor might be too much??

I'll try rolling with them still being chained together, see how i like that. Okay so ignore what i just said, Bill is going WITH Stan to kick out the dentist—they just shove him out the gift shop door and he stands out there making sad puppy eyes at them—and then go back to negotiate with the fairy.

And her buddies are gonna be mad when they come to get her!

Bill's like, but that's assuming they come for her, which they might just not, once they hear where she is. IF they hear where she is. She DOES know where she is, right? (Sure she does, this is the Mystery Shack.) And she does know who owns it, right? (Sure she does, he's right there—) Who REALLY owns it? (...) Are you *sure* they'll come for you here?

It doesn't matter who owns this place, HE'S been gone for decades— Oh, has he? You sure about that? You didn't think it strange that an odd person with magical teeth and weird eyes—a real bonafide freak—happens to be in this shack, getting escorted around by handcuffs? That didn't make you ask any questions?

Stan puts a threatening hand on Bill's shoulder like *hey, easy how much you spill*—most people don't notice Bill doesn't look quite human until he points it out—and seeing *that* gesture terrifies the fairy more than anything else Bill said, like oh shit, he's not bluffing, she's been hunting somebody else's prisoner.

So how about this. If *she* promises to leave and never harass them again, *they* promise not to wake up the jailer and ask how he wants to deal with her. Because Bill just wants to be left alone, and he assumes Stan just wants to go back to bed—but *him,* oh, he wouldn't hesitate to pin her wings to a board. Sound fair?

Yes, yes, it's fair, she'll leave them alone! Just let her go!

Great. 🙂 Oh, and one more thing. His payment for that tooth?

She gives Bill a gold tooth. 😠 And they let her go. She's a fairy, her word's as good as law. If she promised not to bother them again then she won't. Can't lie.

... so. What was all that about the true owner of the shack?

Oh haha yeah! Fordsy's got a bit of a reputation around the town's paranormal community. He actually wasn't much more personable with the freaks he was studying than he was with the other humans in town—he had a tendency to catch, study, release. One or two times he *didn't* release. Rumors grow with time. And well, if it's useful to pretend to be one of his specimens...

The idea of keeping a person (a person!) prisoner to study does Not sit well with Stan. "You're *not* one of his specimens." "No? Has he been studying me?" "Of COURSE not" but now he's thinking about it.

... Well. Back to sleep? ("Are you gonna let me sleep in the guest room now?" "*No.*" "Aww, I thought we'd bonded a little!" "After all the horrible shit you said earlier??" "Haha you're too sensitive.")

......... WAS the horrible shit Bill said true? Or did he just say it to get a rise out of Stan.

Naaah, he just thought it would be funny to make Stan mad. He never saw a universe where Stan and Ford weren't inseparable as kids. But then he never dug that hard. It wasn't one of his priorities.

Stan doesn't think Bill's telling the truth now; but Stan doesn't think Bill was telling the truth earlier, either. Bill's not telling Stan what the multiverse is like; Bill's telling Stan how he wants Stan to feel. Bill *could* have said everything he'd said was true, but he didn't.

"You're not a half bad liar, Cipher. It's too bad you're a lousy dirtbag bent on world domination, or you could've made a decent partner-in-crime." "Yeah? Well, my schedule's clear, I'm bored, and running a two-man con sounds fun. Let me know." "Don't count on it."

The end.

Epilogue: next morning Ford goes "did you two sleep well?" (He's not actually asking Bill he's just asking Stan. He hopes Bill got an annoying crick in his neck that'll never go away.) "Oh yeah, no problem. Got comfortable and didn't move all night." "We barely even noticed the handcuffs. Slept like babies." Well, Ford's relieved nothing weird happened last night.

There's a knock at the door. He'll get that.

It's a very sad and bedraggled dentist. Can he please have his ability to open doors back? He had to sleep outside last night. 8,C

... only the person who cast the spell can lift it. Hey Bill, get in here. "Slept like babies," huh?

The end end

####

[everything after this is various points in other conversations where I was discussing the where & how the tooth fairy arc would fit with the overall story, to show you what kind of plotting-over-time I do for the big elements of a story.]

You know what I'm gonna go with a tooth fairy. The show's featured gnomes, mermaids, subterranean dinosaurs preserved in tree sap, and Cupid. A tooth fairy works.

A dentist who worships the tooth fairy. The fairy gets a glimpse of Bill and goes "WOW I've never had ALIEN TEETH before! *Bring them to me.*"

[hell yeah alien teeth]

####

And probably the chapter after that is gonna be Stan Takes Bill To The Dentist. Where Bill goes "you don't have to worry about me running off, we can use the friendship bracelets." "Oh ill friendship bracelet YOU. And I'll do it WITHOUT MAGIC." *slaps actual real handcuffs on himself and Bill. Loses the key.*

####

He played himself. I think I'm gonna have them be handcuffed through the ENTIRE tooth fairy arc. I think it would be really funny.

Ford like "Bill, why are you sitting in the hallway outside my guest room."

"Because SOMEBODY decided to HANDCUFF US TOGETHER and then LOST THE KEY so I have to SLEEP IN THE HALLWAY with the HANDCUFF CHAIN STRUNG UNDER THE DOOR. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, *STANLEY.*"

"Right. ... I'm going to sleep in my lab tonight."

####

Things going on:

- Stan unwillingly getting dragged into his "befriending the evil triangle" arc. Woe, friendship be upon ye.

- Bill copes with traumas by setting himself up to relive them until they stop hurting. Burning down your dimension devastated you? Become a serial arsonist, stare into the flames over and over again! Flinch every time the guy they punched you to death raises a fist? Goad him into following through, now it's not scary anymore!

####

Where I am right now: Mabel has just won Bill's loyalty forever. Where I need to get to: the next "episode," which is *probably* gonna be Stan taking Bill to the dentist and getting tangled up with the tooth fairy, unless I come up with another plot I think might be more appropriate to come first. I feel like I can't just hop straight into the next episode, because Mabel's JUST befriended Bill, so I need to spend a little time showing them BEING friends so that that convincingly sticks. And I can't "just" show them hanging out coloring pictures or whatever, I've gotta have something, like, *happen.*

####

Today's mission: figure out how to jigsaw in all the plot points I need to establish before the season one finale (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS].)

I've made a list of all the things I'm pretty sure need to happen:

- Bill makes progress on lucid dreaming 

- Stan emotionally invests in Bill

--- ( this will be the Tooth fairy arc)

- Ford decides Bill isn't gonna kill them

--- the eclipse

- Ford likes Bill a tiny bit

- Dipper decides Bill is harmless

--- (I'm planning a gag where bill gets accidentally locked in the bathroom all day, this'll achieve that)

- Dipper decides Bill might be useful

--- (The eclipse)

- Bill makes contact with cultists

--- (cultist visits shack looking for bill)

- Bill finds a way to sneak outside

- conversation with dipper about the third dimension

- Fiddleford finishes the gun

--- (this will probably necessitate another Fiddleford visit)

This isn't everything that COULD happen before the season 1 finale, but it's the BARE MINIMUM everything that needs to get done.

####

There's plenty of other things that could happen before or after this, but i might need a better idea of how I want to shape season 2 before I can decide what to put before and what to put after

Like, the monster truck plot. I'm toying with whether I want it before the s1 finale (which would mean Bill can use Gideon to make contact with his cultists) or after (which would mean [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS])

Somebody else put this together into a coherent plot arc for me o|-<

I keep pushing back writing the tooth fairy arc because i keep going "no wait, i thought of something else i need to do first—" and part of that is because, i feel like, once the tooth fairy arc happens, that kicks in gear Bill interacting with Gideon (because then he's got a gold tooth), which naturally leads to the monster truck arc, which is a big event, so anything that needs to happen "early" in the fic needs to happen before then—but if i do decide to push the monster truck arc to later on, that's less of a concern. Instead I could spend more time on foreshadowing Bill messing with Gideon.

[vote push it back]

you may have a point. The main thing is if i push it back, it would make the most sense to go in season 2 (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS]), BUT: one of the things I'd *like* to do with the finale is [SPOILERS SPOILERS x100] which needs Gideon. (Alternatively, I could make up some new, lower-key method for Bill to get Gideon under his thumb without meeting him at the monster truck rally—but I'd have to think up some Whole New Plot that's Interesting enough for that.)

####

Okay so i think my rough roadmap is. Tooth fairy plot -> Gideon chapter -> the axolotl eclipse -> the season finale. These four events contain most of my "MUST be done before the finale" events

####

I think the "makes progress on lucid dreaming" can be achieved during the Gideon chapter. I can bookend the chapter with a couple of his efforts, to show how he progresses over the chapter. *Maybe* I can shove one into the tooth fairy chapter, have a dream be interrupted by the dentist waking him

Yeah, there are two dreams I know I want to happen; a replay of Bill's mom dying where he "remembers"/admits that when he realized he hurt his mom, he *kept on pushing*; and a second replay where he seizes control of the dream and rewrites it so that it's like a big fun gory game (and thus re-burying the traumatic reality of what happened). I can put those at the beginning and end of Gideon's chapter.

####

Okay I think my current road map is:

tooth fairy -> bill figures out how to sneak out/dipper finds bill locked in the bathroom -> Gideon (+lucid dreaming) -> (Bill talks to Dipper about how he perceived the universe, leading to) The Eclipse -> Ford brings home a copy of Flatworld, letting the kids learn more about Bill's backstory/Fiddleford tells Ford the gun is ready, leading to -> the season one finale.

We're in the final stretch! No more random diversions, probably!

####

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1241: Speed, Wholesome Recovery with the Family (Sonic)

5:34 p.m. at the Chaotix Family's Household's Living Room.........

Charmy and Cheese, now wearing sunglasses, suits, and ties, roll over and hide themselves at their respective sides of the living room's entrance. They then proceed to look around the area in front of them. Other than Cream sitting at the sofa, happily waving at them, there's really nothing in the living room that raise any suspicion for the time being.

Satisfied with how the room look, the two self-proclaimed bodyguards nodded at one another before turning around to their escort and him cheeky thumbs up

Charmy: The coast is clear, boss!

Cheese: Chao Chao.

Espio: (Already Has a Deadpinned Look on his Face While Standing There, All Patched Up) What would I ever do without you two? (Follows is Two "Bodyguards" to the Living Room)

Charmy: (Puts on a Proud Smile on his Face Alo g with Cheese) No need to thank us here, our faithful cilent.

Cheese: Chao Chaochao Chao Chao-

Charmy/Cheese: (Immediately Stops Espio in his Tracks) HALT!/CHAO!

Espio: (Eyes Widened atvthe Sudden Stretching Halt) What? What happened?

Charmy. Stay right here for a second. (Walks Over to the Sofa and Takes a Cushion Out of the Sofa) Your seat needs to go through a thorough examination.

Espio: (Raises an Eyebrow) You really think a seat cushion would hurt me?

Charmy: (Starts Straightening and Fluffing the Cushion Up) Hey, you'd be surprised by how much damage these bad boys can cause to people's tushies. (Forms a Teasing Smirk on his Face) Especially for those as big as yours~

Cream and Cheese begins to giggle softly at Charny's wise cracking joke to Espio's dispense.

Espio: (Comically Glares at Charmy) Shut it!

Charmy: And....there! Nice and fluffy! (Puts the Cushion Back Down on It's Spot Right Next to Cream's) Just for you, boss!

Espio: My lifesav-ER!? (Suddenly Gets Picked Up and Carried to his Seat by Cheese)

Cheese: Chao Chaochao Chao!~

Cream: Careful, Cheese!~ We don't want Espio's big, fat tushie to be in pain too!~ (Giggles Some More Along with The Boys)

Espio: (Facepalms Himself in Pure Annoyance and Embarrassment) Cream, could you PLEASE not play along to Charmy's foolishness today? I'm imploring you...

Cheese: (Gently Places Espio Down on his Seat Before Patting him on the Head With a Smile) Chao Chao!~

Espio: ('Sigh') Much appreciated, Cheese. Now, what movie are we watching again?

Charmy: Man of Steel. 3-D version.

Espio: Ah, I see. I think I still have my 3-D glasses sitting somewhere in my room-

Charmy: Up! Say no more. Cheese and I will find them for you in a heartbeat.

Cheese: Chao Chaochao. (Gives Charmy a Competitive Look on his Face) Chao Chao.

Charmy: (Turns to Cheese) Oh, you are SO ON!!

Espio: Thid doesn't need to be a competition, you two- (Watches Two of His "Bodyguards" Zips Towards his Bedroom) -and they're off. (Sighs While Pinching the Bridge of his Nose) They're gonna make my room a huge mess in there, aren't they?

Cream: (Smiles Sheepishly) I'm sure they'll clean after themselves once your glasses are found. Hopefully.

Espio: Mmhm- (Suddenly Felt Cream Hugging Him Before Chuckling a Little) Glad to see you're feeling better at least.

Cream: Thank you!~ I'm so happy you're back in this house with me!~ (Gets Up and Gives Espio Four Kisses on the Cheek Before Sitting Back Down Before Frowning) I don't like seeing you get hurt out there, Espio. (Then Starts Pouting) And I definitely don't like those three bullies that did this to you at all.

Espio: ('Sigh') You and me both, Cream. I'm sorry I made you all worried the whole time....

Cream: (Gives Espio a Reassuring Smile) There's no need to apologize. You being here, safe is all that matters to us now. Mommy made extra sure of that, huh? (Playfully Winks at Espio)

Espio: (Chuckles Lightly) Exactly. (Starts Frowning a Bit) But speaking of which, I fear that incident is taking a toll on her as we speak.

Cream: ('Sigh') Yeah. She was so scared when I first told her what happened. (Smiles Again) But it's gonna be okay. She's the strongest mommy we know and love, you know?

Espio: (Simply Nodded in Agreement) Yes. The strongest there is.

Meanwhile at the Kitchen........

Vanilla: (Covering her Face While Crying Softly)

Vector: (Consoling the Love of his Life) Hey, it's gonna okay now. Espio's home and safe. We'll keep making sure it stays that way, right?

Vanilla: Of course, we will. It just- ('Sniff') Happened out of nowhere. I was so scared.....

Vector: ('Sighs Heavily') Yeah.....No doubt about that. But one thing's for sure though. (Angrily Pounds his Fist Onto the Palm of his Other Hand) That Zavok guy and his cronies better hope and pray we don't see them again.

Vanilla: (Starts Getting Livid as Well) Oh, I am going to MURDER them if they lay another hand on Espio again! Or hurt the rest our babies for that matter!! (Takes a Deep Breath While Calming Herself Down) But that neither here nor there. (Gently Grab Hold of Her Husband's Hand) Cause right now, I just wanna spend the rest of night with the family I love so very much~

Vector: (Heart Begins to Melt in Genuine Happiness) We love you too, Vanilly~ Always.

The two married couple share a kiss on the lips before the dinging sound from the microwave is heard.

Vanilla: Ooh, popcorn's ready!~

Vector: About time too! (Walks Over to The Microwave and Take the Popcorn Bag Out of There) I'm starving here.

Vanilla: Honey, you just ate a chicken sandwich an hour ago.

Vector: (Dumps the Bag of Fresh and Popped Popcorn Down on the Blue Bow) Yeah, but I wouldn't exactly call that the ideal meal to eat on movie night, you know? (Holds the Bowl in his Hands While Walking Over to Vanilla) Plus, the popcorn we got here smell pretty delicious right now, sooooooo......(Eats a Bit of Popcorn in the Bowl)

Vanilla: (Giggles Softly) Whatever you say- (Playfully Pulls on Vector's Cheek) My silly crocodile you~

Vector: (Chuckles Ticklishly by His Wife Playful Affections) There's that beautiful smile!~ Starting to feel better now?

Vanilla: A little bit, yes. I'll feel even more better when we watch the movie together.

Vector: Well, whaddya we waiting for then? Let's go.

Vanilla: (Happily Nodded) Right. (Grans the Other Snacks From the Kitchen Table and Make Her Way to the Living Room With Vector Following Behind) Ohhh Kids!~ Who's ready for movie niiiight!?~

Vector: With snacks and popcorn!!?~

Charmy/Cheese: MEEE!/CHAOOOO!

Both Charmy and Cheese zips out of Espio's room and towards the living room until-

Espio: HOOOOLD IT!

-They came to a screeching holt in flight thanks to Espio's booming command.

Espio: Were you able to find my glasses?

Charmy: Yep!

Cheese: (Hands Espio his 3-D Glasses) Chaoooo Chao!~

Espio: Thank you. Did you clean up after your search?

Cheese: (Simply Nodded) Chao.

Charmy: (Simply Nodded as Well) 100%!~

The two boys gives Espio the most innocent looking smiles they can both muster as they blink their eyes right. on cue.

Espio, on the other hand, stares at the two with uncertainty in his eyes as he begins to get himself up from his seat until Vanilla stops him with her hand on his shoulder.

Vanilla: Oh no don't, mister~ You're supposed to seat down and rest, remember?

Cream: (Gives Espio a Sisterly Pout) That's right! (Went Back to Hugging her Big Brother) You owe me cuddles!

Vector: Want me to go and check for you, champ?

Espio: ('Sighs in Defeat') No. I thought of an alternative. (Forms and Speed Through a Few Hand Signs Before Screaming Out.....) Shadow Clone!

Espio summons his identical clone standing right beside the edge of the sofa. This in turn, causes everyone in the room to be amazed.

Everyone: Oooooooh!~

Vector: It's like it's his twin brother.

Vanilla: (Happily Claps her Hands to Espio) Very lovely indeed, dear!~

Espio: (Simply Bows to his Mother) Thank you. (Turns to Espio) You mind going in my room and see if it's clean or not?

The clone shakes his head before sprinting off to his creator's room. It only took a few seconds before it returns back to it's post.

Clone: It's clean.

Espio: From top to bottom?

Clone: Yup. (Disappears in Thin Smoke)

Espio: (Genuinely Surprised by the End Result Given to Him) .....Huh.

Charmy: Told ya so!

Cheese: (Pulls his Sunglasses and Eye Lid Down to Taunt Espio) Nyaaaah!~

Charmy: (Pumps his Fist Up in the Air as He and Cheese Make Their Way to the Sofa) Now let's get this movie night started.

Cheese: Chaochao!!~

Vector: Hooold it. Before we do any of that, we gotta talk about everything that happened earlier first.

Vanilla: (Simply Nodded in Agreement to That Plan) I agree. It's best we get it out of the way now than having it plague our minds later on.

Espio: I see no issue in doing that.

Cream: Me neither.

Charmy turns to Cheese, now shrugging at him, before sighing in defeat and understanding..

Charmy: 'Kayyy. If we gotta, we gotta. Who were those three jerks that hurt you in first place, Espio?

Espio: Zavok, Zazz, Zomom. Three members of the six members of imposing group, the Deadly Six.

Vector: Deadly Si- (Immediately Comes to the Realization) Hey, wait a minute. Blaze told me about those guys a while back! They're the ones responsible for trying to steal her Sol Emeralds away from her kingdom in the past.

Vanilla: (Frowns in Displeasure of Thinking About Another Member of the Deadly Six Group) I bet that Zik person you faced is their leader this whole time, isn't he?

Vector: No, I think he was more of a founder of the gig if anything.

Espio: Correct. Zavok's their leader. He's just as cruel and ruthless as now as when we first met back at the temple. Always took every chance he had to belittle me and my worth. (Rolls his Eyes) Probably due to me challenging his "precious master" all the time......

Charmy: (Comes Up With Something) Wait. Is the reason he came after you was because of that fight you and that old guy had on that bridge? (Raises an Eyebrow and Crossing his Arms Together While Thinking) Or was it he jealous that you got more attention from him in comparison?

Espio: (Shrugs) Either one of these reasons can be possible really. But if there's one thing for certain, he detest my mere existence from very beginning and the feeling has been mutual ever since. ('Sigh') It's unfortunate that it'll probably won't be the last we'll ever see of him and the others......

Espio suddenly felt Cream's hand placed down on top of his on the sofa as she gives him a reassuring but very confident smile on her face.

Cream: That's okay. This just mean we'll be more than ready to face those bullies again head on next time!

Vanilla: (Happily Nodded in Agreement) That's right. We'll keep making them think twice about ever messing with this family again if we have to.

Vector: Vanilly, I think you Hot Fang persona alone can scream them straight outta the globe.

Vanilla: (Giggles Softly) Perhaps~(Places the Back of her Hand onto her Forehead in a Overly Dramatic Fashion) But what if those terrible fiends ever managed to harm little 'Ole me!?~ (Lays Herself Right Side of Vector's Chest With a Seductive Smirk on her Face) Surely a handsome, strong gentleman just as yourself could fight for my honor once more, can you?~

Vector: (Forms a Cheeky Grin on his Face) Heck yeah! I ain't gonna let anyone bad mouth my wife and get away with it. (Grab Hold of Both of Vanilla's Hands and Smirks Back at Her) Especially if that said wife gets more and more gorgeous and irresistible by every second of the day~

Vanilla: (Giggles Some More While Blushing) Ohohoho!~ You sweet-talker of a man you!~

The two married lovebirds giggles as they share a romantic eskimo kiss with one another, causing Charmy and Cheese to stick their tongues out in digust, Cream to giggle softly at their cuteness, and Espio to sigh at whole entirely before smiling a bit.

Espio: Glad to see you feeling now, Mother. 'Least I hope you are.

Vanilla: (Smiles Softly at Espio) I am, baby. Even more so now that you're in here under our protection.

Espio: (Simply Nodded) Good. It pains me to see you sad. Or.....cry for that manner.

Vanilla: (Gasps as Her Heart Begins to Melt) You really mean that?~

Espio: Of course. You're a mother to me first and foremost- (Turns Away While Blushing a Little) And your kindness and presence alone always manages to put a smile on my face every waking morning, soOOOOO? (Immediately Gets Pulled into Another Loving Momma Vanilla Hug)

Vanilla: Oh sweetheart of a shinobi!~ You make us happy toooo!~

Cream: (Happily Joins in on the Espio Hug Fest Along with Charmy and Cheese) Not to mention we all love you with all our hearts!~ Never ever forget those two things, okay?~

Vector: Yeah. (Forms a Teasing Smirk at Espio) Unless you want another installment of "Scolding Time with Vector" instead?

Espio: (Gives Vector a Deadpinned Look on his Face) I rather you didn't. (Starts Smiling Again) But still, I thank you all for being in my life......As a family.

Meanwhile Outside the Time Square Mall......

Zavok: (In the Hologram Call) We're about to to head back to headquarters as we speak. I expect you two be there once we arrived. Am I clear?

Zor: (Too Busy Slowly Picking Pedals Out of a Read Rose He Briught) Suuuuuuure..........

Zeena: (Looking Away From the Call This Entire Time, in Silence) ................

Zavok: Zeena!

Zeena: (Groans While Turning Back to her Leader) Yeah, okay! Meet you back at the headquarters, I get it.

Zavok: (Stares at Zeena Some More With his Glare) You better. I'm signing off.

'Call Ends'

Zeena: ('Ugggggh') I swear, I can't STAND Zavok right now. First, he got in the way of my call, now he's gonna another attitude problem and like, throw it out on us again!?

Zor: Well, he did got his butt kick by Espio and his new...family I think?

Zor: 'Kay! I'll just stay here then.....Alone.....With this rose.....(Looks at the Rose He's Holding) Way too optimistic for my liking. (Thriws the Rose Down on the Ground as He Continues to Dwell in Sadness Like He Usually Do in his Freetime) Siiiiiigh!

Zeena: GOOD! (Crosses her Arms) He needs all the ass whooping he can get at this point.....You know what? Screw it. (Places her Shopping Bags Down on the Bench Right Next to Zor) Take this back headquarters for me, will ya? (Walks Away) I'm going for a walk.

Zor: What for? I thought you hate long walks.

Zeena: (Stops Walking Before Turning Back to Zor With Scoffs) Duh! Obviously, but I'll live i guess. I just wanna pay a friend an overdue visit. (Turns Away While Continuing her Walk) Maybe we can be more than that if I'm lucky......

To Be Continued

@rechicken-and-waffles

@decibelcoatl

@bestpony666

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey, so I'm a cis(?) guy who really wants to go on estrogen, but i also really do not want to have breasts. Is there any way that i could get all (or most, i guess) of the other effects of estrogen without developing breasts?

Lee says:

Hi my friend! Navigating your gender identity and the decision to undergo hormone therapy can be complicated.

It's sometimes possible to start hormones if you're 100% sure that you want hormones, even if you aren't 100% sure what your gender identity is, but support from a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues can be invaluable.

They can help you explore your feelings about your gender and your body, expectations, and concerns about taking estrogen and the changes it brings, and I would really recommend looking into finding a supportive therapist.

You don't always need to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria by a mental health provider to access HRT if you see a provider who uses informed consent, and not everyone feels therapy is helpful in this area-- it really depends on whether you can find a trans-friendly, competent, and affirming therapist.

But if you don't see a therapist (And even if you do!) finding support from the trans community can be super helpful if you're questioning being trans, or considering medical transitioning.

Looking for local support groups that meet in-person or online can be a great opportunity to hear from people who have similar experiences as you do because they can provide useful insights and helpful information.

With all that said, it isn't possible to pick and choose what changes you will get when you start hormones. It's an all-or-nothing thing. If you choose to start estrogen, you may experience some breast growth. For reference, this chart lists some of the major changes that you can expect from estrogen!

You can't anticipate how much chest growth you'll get- some people have minimal growth and others develop a C cup or larger-- so if the breast growth is a deal breaker, estrogen may not be the right option for you.

There is a type of medication called SERMs which might allow you to take estrogen without breast growth, but there isn’t enough research on the effect of taking SERMs and I don’t have personal experience with it either, so I can’t provide much information on that— you’ll need to speak to a medical provider about it.

Because the effects are not fully known, I would assume that there’s a chance that even if you take them you could still have some amount of breast growth, and make your decision based on that assumption unless your provider says otherwise.

You may choose to wear a binder for the rest of your life if you get breast growth and remain unhappy with your chest, but you might be swapping one form of dysphoria for another, so you should really consider whether all of the desired changes that you'd get from estrogen are more important to you than the one big change that you don't want.

You could also start estrogen and wear a binder until your chest has stopped developing (at least ~2 years) then undergo top surgery to get a flat chest again if you are uncomfortable with the breast growth from estrogen therapy. This is a significant decision and requires thorough consultation with both your hormone prescriber and a plastic surgeon.

If you feel that having breast growth isn't worth the other changes, you could explore other things.

While estrogen can slow down the growth of new facial hair, it does not typically eliminate existing facial hair, even though facial and body hair may become lighter and grow more slowly. It also doesn't reverse hair loss that has already happened, although it can slow or prevent future hair loss.

So removing facial and body hair with laser hair removal and electrolysis, and reversing and preventing further hairline recession and balding with a hair transplant, minoxidil, and finestride might mimic some of the hair-related changes that you might see from estrogen.

Similarly, facial feminization surgery and body contouring surgery can help to mimic the body fat redistribution that you'd experience on estrogen without also creating the chest growth that you don't want to experience.

However, these surgeries are more invasive than estrogen, so if you're considering estrogen, you may want to wait until after you've been on it for a couple of years before you decide whether you still need surgery or are satisfied with the changes.

If you're confident that you don't want estrogen then you could hop straight to those surgeries, but they may or may not be covered by insurance even with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria; some policies recognize that they are medically necessary interventions and others deem them cosmetic.

As you may have guessed, the vast majority of people who were assigned male at birth and express interest in taking estrogen are not cisgender men. Many end up identifying as transgender women or non-binary people. That doesn't mean that you are trans for sure, but just considering the overall probabilities, I'd say there's a good chance that you have more to explore to figure out about your gender.

But even if you don't end up identifying as part of the community, you can still consider medical interventions even if you identify as a cisgender man. It's your body, and you should do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable in it.

It's okay to look into starting estrogen (or any other medical transitioning step) while identifying as male. Just make sure you get the support you need from your medical providers so you know all the options available to you and the risks of each choice.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Hey, Wait a Minute.... Where's Claire?

@littlemissartemisia @tmntaucompetition

Prev || Next

Claire paced angrily back and forth as she waited. Patience was not her strongest attribute.

Where was he? He wasn't the type to be late. Maybe it was her. Maybe it was this place. Time didn't seem to exist in this arena... or at the very least, it didn't flow properly. It was a bit screwy in this dimension. It wasn't as if there was a son or moon or stars to measure the passage of time! There were some clocks, but those were more like general estimations than actual time-telling. One minute could pass in your home dimension, and it would have been a full week here. Or, one hour could go by here and it would have been a month on the outside. One end of the compound could move faster than the other. It was all relative, fluctuating, and nothing seemed scientifically plausible. So, while her wristwatch said that she'd sent the message and invitation to the TMNT AU Competitions to Baron Draxum only a few hours ago, it felt like it had actually been weeks!

A pink and magenta portal suddenly appeared a few feet away from her. Finally, he was here.

Draxum slowly stepped through, his gargoyles perched atop his shoulders as he looked around, scanning the compounds with a mix of caution and curiosity.

"How interesting..." he murmured.

"Glad to see you finally made it," Claire grumbled, crossing her arms.

"I wasn't sure the coordinates you gave me were correct, they didn't lead to anywhere on our plane of existence," Draxum noted. "But after some thorough examination, I saw that there was a pocket universe hidden within the destination. After that, it was simply a matter of finding the correct potions and spells to infiltrate without being seen, as per your instructions."

"Took you long enough. But I'm glad you're here," she said. "We have work to do."

"So I gathered from your message. You said that the subject is here?"

"Not just her," Claire said with a wicked grin. "This whole place is filled with variants of your original experiments! And even more! There are even some that were actually raised by their universe's version of you."

"Really? Hmm. I should like to see that..." Draxum said, grinning as he considered what these variants would look like. They must be the most effective warriors, strong and able-bodied and fearsome and cutthroat.

"Ooh, I wonder what Draxum would be like as a father," Huginn chuckled. "I'm sure he would be loving and caring as always!"

"You'll probably see soon enough," Claire noted. "But first, our plans."

"You didn't say much in your message. Crypticity does not become you," Draxum said, gritting his teeth. "I don't think I need to remind you that I dislike being summoned as though I were some resource you can play with when it suits you. I am a busy Yokai, Claire. You and your little Artemisia are not the only mutant turtles I am preoccupied with."

"I know, but this will be worth your while!" she promised, her voice raising in excitement.

"Prove it."

"How would you like to have not one, but FIVE experiments?"

"Five?" Draxum repeated, unsure if she was jesting or being serious.

"Misa is travelling with an alternate version of the teenage mutant ninja turtles that you created all those years ago. They are essentially the same, with the same genetics and similar traits as yours. And most of them have been reverted back to their early childhood, which means they would be extremely pliable and easy for you to manipulate, while also being just old enough to understand orders and be capable minions!"

"And you couldn't capture them on your own? Five little toddlers?" Draxum huffed. "I wonder if I should be disgusted by your lack of skill, or impressed by their abilities."

"Do not blame her, they are not alone," said a voice from behind Claire's head.

The Hand.PNG slowly crawled around, perching itself on her shoulder, almost mimicking Huginn and Muninn, who recoiled in disgust at the thing.

"The turtle tots are traveling with three young adults. They shall not be easy to defeat, mind you. But you may leave that to me."

"And who exactly are you?" Draxum questioned.

"This is the hand I wrote you about; it told me how to capture the specimens," Claire explained quickly.

"And why would it do that?" he growled, sensing some ulterior motive within the disembodied appendage. "What would you have to gain?"

"I have nothing to gain, expect the fulfilment of my purpose."

"What purpose is that? Are you some enemy of the turtles, that you would want to see them captured by me?" Draxum challenged.

"I am not their enemy, though most would think of me as such. I am a prompter, my purpose is to continue the story, to get it moving, keep it flowing. For the time being, that means assisting you in capturing Misa and the turtle tots. Now, I must go..."

"Go?" Draxum questioned, still unsure of the hand's motives.

"Yes. As of right now, the odds are not in your favour. I must set this right. By tomorrow, you shall have the upper hand. Ahem, so to speak. All I need do is change the perspective of one particular player in this act, and the scene shall be set."

The Hand.PNG jumped down from Claire's shoulders and skittered away.

"...I don't trust it," Draxum growled low.

"I don't either. When I first met it, the Hand said something about how it didn't want to hurt Misa, but would let me do it. I'm not sure what goal it's working towards... but I can't see any reason for it to betray us," Claire explained. "For the moment, it seems to be on our side. I say we wait a bit before killing off the golden goose, hm?"

"Fair enough," Draxum sighed. "But you still have yet to tell me why I am here."

"Oh, right! Well, these variants that Artemisia is travelling with? One of them is named 'Donatello Von Draxum', sound familiar? Apparently he was raised by you in his world, and until just recently, he was your loyal little soldier. And that's where you come in..."

Claire continued to explain the plot that she'd been given, as the Hand.PNG followed it's favourite playthings to their rooms... its new story unfolding, its plan coming together.

Although, it had not been completely honest with them... yes, it had plans for Donatello, but there was one other person whose perspective it planned to change...

[powerbrokerreadalong]

Tumblr Should Read the Power Broker

So 99 Percent Invisible is a podcast by Roman Mars.  It talks about the design of everyday things, like postage stamps and walking trails and gas ranges. It's the sort of stories that tumblr likes. You can check out the podcast here. Roman Mars also has a thing about flags, as you can see here:

But I'm not really here to talk about why you should listen to 99 Percent Invisible in general (though hey, I like it).  I'm here because I've failed after a decade to leave this website. Also, 99 Percent Invisible is reading The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York and you, tumblr, should join the readalong.

Okay. What is The Power Broker? It's a 1,336 page biography of Robert Moses by Robert A. Caro.

Why am I suggesting that Tumblr read The Power Broker?

You all would love to hate the subject.

I'm sure some of you already do! Robert Moses stands for bureaucratic power and the midcentury city planning that prioritized cars over people. He was never elected to any office but was able to shape one of the largest cities in the world. And Robert Caro, the author, carefully notes how he was able to amass power. Also, he hated Robert Moses. You can think of it as an extremely long and detailed call out post. On that note.

It's extremely well researched.

Look. I think, after James Somerton and the scourge of AI printed materials, there's a lot of people that are feeling lied to. We want to see people do the work.The research.The footnotes. We want someone to be willing to turn over every rock, and spend years on a single project. Robert Caro is the author we need right now. He is thorough. He is willing to work diligently, reading every memo, talking to everyone involved who would talk to him. And by God, there will be footnotes.

Tumblr is the land of hyperfixation

The main stopping point for The Power Broker is that it's long. So? That's like 705,000 words. I know at least some of you monsterfuckers have written that many words in a year and read them in a weekend. And you'd be reading it along with other people, so there'd be some sort of accountability. If there was ever a social media website where I think people would be willing to go down a very deep and detailed rabbit hole on civil engineering, it would be Tumblr. Also maybe Metafilter. They've probably already read The Power Broker, though. 

It'd be funny

Being really into The Power Broker is a very dad thing to do. Getting all of the (gender neutral) Tumblr girlies into The Power Broker and giving it a very Tumblr treatment would be very entertaining. Transmascs, you can think of being into the Power Broker as a non-toxic way to affirm your masculinity. Haven't you ever wanted to commit to the bit so hard that you end up reading a seminal piece of midcentury American nonfiction? Now's your chance.

Okay, you've convinced me.  What do I do?

Acquire the Power Broker. Honestly, I'd probably just check your local used book store. I don't think it ever came out in ebook.

Read the Power Broker at your own pace. I'm not your real dad.

Listen along to whatever 99 Percent Invisible has cooked up.  I have no idea what they're planning. I'm not affiliated with them in any way. But they do have an episode up already.

Profit?  IDK.  If you feel like posting, tag it correctly and I might reblog.

[beatriceeagle]

@tevyaa sent an ask with a snippet from "something just broke" for DVD commentary. Unfortunately due to the nature of the fic, even a very short snippet takes up a massive amount of space (and the formatting limitations of the ask box make it very difficult to parse) so I'm making a separate post for it.

Commentary under the cut. (Since this fic heavily includes diegetic bolded text, my commentary will be indented.) Tragically, it doesn't seem possible to right-align text on Tumblr, so apologies for any confusion about who's speaking.

Given the subject matter of the fic, be advised that there's a whole lot of discussion of sexual assault below.

"unstoppable mofos in masks" group chat

Donna I have a question I'd like to throw to the chat

Would you be comfortable with male survivors in here?

There was a version of this fic that dug into the gendered experience of sexual assault a lot more, but I ended up mostly cutting that thread for being a) not totally relevant to the broader point I was making, b) very difficult to untangle the Watsonian and Doyleist implications of, and as a result c) something that I wasn't totally sure what I wanted to say about. Some of that material ended up in "this year's love." Some of it is still floating around in my brain.

I left this particular conversation less because I had something to say with it, and more because it felt like something these particular characters would bring up.

Mia are they unstoppable mofos in masks? because if not could be a problem

Firenza I assume this is someone you know and trust not to fuck up too badly?

I'm really proud of "Firenza Hale" as a secret identity name for a fire-based superhero.

Donna I do

Barbara I'll vouch for him too.

I hope everyone appreciates that Barbara and Bruce are the only characters in the fic who end every sentence with a period.

Firenza Then I'm okay with it

Donna Mia, I’m assuming you were trying to say you don’t mind?

Mia 👍

Donna And Kory already said she’s okay

Okay, I’ll add him

Donna Troy added Dick Grayson

Mia no fucking way

oh wow that was super not okay sorry

I have read some of Mia's run in Green Arrow, but not nearly as much as I have of many of the other characters, so although I have a sense of her personality, I was very worried that I might have totally missed the mark with her. My general sense from the reaction I've gotten is that I did not at the very least TOTALLY miss it, which is a great relief. I bring that up mostly because, for obvious reasons, this is the moment that I worried most about. It did very much feel like a moment that needed to be acknowledged, though, and Mia seemed like the right choice of person to do so.

Dick Hey Mia 😎

I assume you’re the one who named the chat?

Mia like it?

Dick It’s amazing

-----

"unstoppable mofos in masks" group chat

Here's the level of picky that I get about writing: In this fic, I tried not to have the same characters/medium twice in a row, so for instance I tried not to have a newspaper article followed immediately by another newspaper article, or a Donna conversation followed by another Donna conversation. And TO THIS DAY it bugs me that I didn't find something to go in between these two group chat snippets.

Firenza Hey, does anyone know anything about Lois Lane?

She approached me to talk to her for an article about the JLA's response or lack thereof

Her work seems good, but I wanted to be thorough

Barbara Lois is on the up-and-up

Missed a period here. I should probably go back and fix that.

Donna She is JLA-adjacent, which is probably technically a conflict, but you know how that goes

The journalistic ethics of the superhero world fascinate me to no end.

Firenza She actually told me that

Donna Well I think she's a great reporter who's interested in the truth

Dick This is a pro-Lois Lane household

Apartment

Whatever

Firenza Okay, that's all very reassuring

Btw I know she's looking for other vigilantes to talk to, anonymously or otherwise

-----

Texts between Barbara Gordon and Stephanie Brown

So, have you decided about Bruce?

nope

stuck in unending indecisive hell

Steph and Mia have similar texting styles because they're modeled after the younger Gen Z texters I know. Steph uses slightly more punctuation than Mia because I tried to make everyone's personal style slightly different. (I also tried to think about how different social circles would affect each other's styles. The OG Titans grew up together and stay in frequent contact, so they write similarly! And so on!)

I may have a compromise option for you. Or at least, something that you could do to test how you feel.

??

Lois Lane is doing a story on the JLA's general culture and response to abuse and assault. You could talk to her about your general feelings—and you could do it anonymously.

She probably wouldn't print specific accusations without more evidence, but you're not sure you want to do that anyway.

So it could be a way of saying *something* without having to decide whether you want to say *everything* yet.

I thought the Steph subplot was important to include because this is fundamentally a fic about the SYSTEMS that allow sexual assault to flourish, and systems that allow sexual assault will also allow other kinds of abuse. I also knew that I wanted the fic to end with everything not totally tied up and neatly resolved, and this was an obvious choice for a loose thread to remain.

that's… an idea

i'll think about it

[irrigos]

interpreters in fallen london, ranked by how badly they violate the Code of Professional Conduct

I'm using the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf's CPC, because thats what I learned. none of these characters would actually fall under the jurisdiction of RID, because its an American organization. and also. was founded in 1964. I also acknowledge that none of the clients these interpreters are interpreting for are, in fact, deaf, but I don't know anything about spoken language interpreting, and I feel like the needs of these specific clients are more akin to the interpreting needs of deaf clients I've had than anything else. (Also, the CPC calls them "consumers", I prefer "clients" because that's what I learned, but people will use either and it doesn't matter that much)

This post is very long, and there's not even that many people on it! I could have made it shorter, but I already didn't do that. You're the one who chose to read it! That's not my problem!

The CPC:

RID's Code of Professional Conduct was written in collaboration with the National Association of the Deaf in 2005 (replacing their prior Code of Ethics). It has 7 tenets, which each have several points of illustrative behaviors. I decided to cite the specific illustrative behaviors that these interpreters fail to perform, because I thought that would be more interesting and thorough. And no one will ever accuse me of not being thorough.

Here is the CPC presented in American Sign Language, and here it is in written English. It's not a very long or complex document, if you're interested in reading it yourself. I can't really imagine anyone WOULD be that interested in the code of conduct for a profession you're not in, unless you're like... me... but hey, there it is.

Barqujin:

Batachikhan's interpreter in Mask of the Rose. He wants to leave the amber warrens beneath London and go start a shop, but she thinks it's a bad idea. Purposefully interprets Batachikhan incorrectly to try to convince the player to help with her plan instead (facilitating a slower, more planned introduction of Rubbery Men into London society.) Is clearly threatened by the player character also being able to understand Batachikhan, since she spent years with the Rubberies learning their ways and you're just some dipshit. Also can have a threesome with the player and Batachikhan.

Tenets violated:

2.3 ("Render the message faithfully by conveying the content and spirit of what is being communicated, using language most readily understood by consumers, and correcting errors discreetly and expeditiously.") She is very much not faithfully rendering the message

4.1 ("Consider consumer requests or needs regarding language preferences, and render the message accordingly") This might seem like the same as 2.3, but this one focuses more on language preferences than content, eg using Signed Exact English instead of pure ASL if that is what the client prefers. So this would be like when Batachikhan is writing and breaks the chalk, and Barqujin gets annoyed and refuses to get more. Not respecting the method by which her client would like to communicate.

Conclusion:

I put her first on the list (so, least bad) because she at least DOES seem to care about Batachikhan and his well-being, even if she's pretty shitty about it. Also, I'm counting the time she spent in the amber warrens as "professional development", so she IS fulfilling tenet 7.0 ("Interpreters engage in professional development.") although I don't know how many CEUs that would be worth. Really, I think Barqujin is a good example for why the Americans with Disabilities Act says that a "companion" (family member, guardian, friend, religious leader, etc) cannot be counted as a qualified interpreter in most circumstances. Barqujin lacks the impartiality required to be an effective interpreter!!

The Sagacious Ape

In the ambition Hearts Desire, your monkey friend Gregory Beechwood hires an interpreter from the Empire of Hands to facilitate him actually having a conversation with you. Probably should come before Barqujin, technically, as her misconduct is probably worse (it's pretty bad to purposefully interpret something incorrectly because YOU think they should have said something different! that is generally Frowned Upon!) but he bothers me more. Also you could argue that Barqujin is not operating in the game as a Certified Interpreter who is bound by the code of conduct, but as a bilingual friend doing a favor, so… idk. Barqujin gets to be less bad because the Sagacious Ape bothers me so much more.

Tenets violated:

2.2 (“Assess consumer needs and the interpreting situation before and during the assignment and make adjustments as needed.”) Maybe a nitpick to start us off, but I was trained to always show up at least 15 minutes early, so you can meet with your client for a bit and figure out their linguistic needs. And the Sagacious Ape did not do that, although I SUPPOSE I can allow for the possibility that they met sometime off-screen.

I GUESS. 2.3 (Render the message faithfully, etc.) Tries to downplay Beechwood's tone/language use. He keeps making little asides objecting to Beechwood's swearing, or doing what seems to be downplaying the intended tone. Sorry, Mr Ape Interpreter. Gregory Beechwood wants to say fuck and you and I both know it. You gotta say the fuck word.

2.5 (“Refrain from providing counsel, advice, or personal opinions.”) Guessed what Beechwood wanted from the Marvelous before Beechwood said anything. You are not a participant in this conversation, man! You don't get to give your input here!

Conclusion:

Unfortunately, I am in love with Barqujin so she gets a little more leeway than the Sagacious Ape. And he's also the only one on this list who is licensed, so he has no excuse. But frankly, worse than the CPC violations, his greatest crime was doing my two biggest interpreter pet peeves. 1. He doesn't interpret into first person language (“He says he's sorry“ should instead be ”I'm sorry.“ This is a thing you learn in literally day 1 of an Interpreter Training Program.) 2. He calls himself a translator and not an interpreter, even though he is interpreting and not translating (I actually emailed FBG about this when it came up with the last election, but I don't know if they went back and fixed it in HD, too. I'd already beaten it by then. But a translator takes a static text in one language and converts it into another language, and an interpreter takes a live text in one language and converts it into another. An interpreter is working in the moment, so you'd have one at doctors appointments or presentations or plays, and a translator is working over time, so you'd hire a translator to work on a book or an article or a poem. I have done lots of interpreting and very little translating.) So, sorry Sagacious Ape. We ARE voting you off the island.

A small addendum to the entry on the Sagacious Ape- I couldn't find a good way to fit this in, but he reminds me almost more of a Deaf Interpreter than an Interpreter for the Deaf. A Hearing interpreter (or an interpreter for the deaf) would be a Hearing person who is fluent in both sign language and English (or, well, probably any spoken language, really) and interprets between the two. A Deaf interpreter is one who is themselves Deaf. Their role is to take the interpretation from the Hearing Interpreter and make it into more natural, fluent sign language, and to take the sign language of the client and make it easier for the Hearing interpreter to interpret correctly. They primarily work with people who are multiply disabled, or have some other language disability. The situations I've seen where a Deaf interpreter has also been hired have been for things like the client being DeafBlind, the client having cerebral palsy, or the client experienced language deprivation and isn't fluent in sign language. I think the Sagacious Ape is a little more like a Deaf interpreter because, while monkeys in Fallen London CAN speak (clearly, as the Sagacious Ape can!) Beechwood is not able to communicate in any language, so the Sagacious Ape is interpreting off of things like gestures and grunts. And that's closer to what I've seen Deaf interpreters do with clients who went through language deprivation than it is to any interpreting work I've ever done. Just a fun thought I wanted to share, even though it's not really relevant to the list.

The Nocturnal Landscape Artist

The Nocturnal Landscape Artist (who is also sometimes in game referred to as the Nocturnal Landscape Painter) was the Tentacled Entrepreneur's interpreter during the election of 1898, and was fired later, in Helicon House. I hate him terribly, and he's my favorite representation of an interpreter in the game.

Tenets violated:

1.1 (”Share assignment-related information only on a confidential and “as needed” basis.”) This might be a bit of a stretch, but during the election, you could get drunk with him and he'd talk a little shit about how actually TE doesn't know anything and HE'S the real brains here. Obviously this is incredibly inappropriate, but I'm also gonna say it's breaking confidentiality. Yknow. Among other problems.

2.5 (“Refrain from providing counsel, advice, or personal opinions.”) He was involved in TE's mayoral campaign to provide counsel and advice, while also providing interpreting services

3.5 ("Conduct and present themselves in an unobtrusive manner and exercise care in choice of attire.") I guess it's a little different for him, because he's not ACTUALLY a sign language interpreter, but generally speaking, I always had a VERY strict dress code, which boiled down to basically wearing only solid, dark colors, like black or navy. I guess they don't really describe the Painter in the game that much, but I mean… look at this guy. Do you think this guy is capable of being unobtrusive? I do not.

3.8 ("Avoid actual or perceived conflicts of interest that might cause harm or interfere with the effectiveness of interpreting services." The CPC defines a conflict of interest as "A conflict between the private interests (personal, financial, or professional) and the official or professional responsibilities of an interpreter in a position of trust, whether actual or perceived, deriving from a specific interpreting situation.") The Artist is literally involved with TE to better himself. During the election, he one time says ”We'll be the mayor“ which is. Yikes, man.

3.10 (”Refrain from using confidential interpreted information for the benefit of personal or professional affiliations or entities.“ See above.)

6.6 ("Refrain from harassment or coercion before, during, or after the provision of interpreting services.") Shows up at TE's art show without being invited, in an attempt to berate him. Cringe.

Conclusion:

"He needs me. As a teacher. A mentor. Fortunately, he does act on my advice. An' we both have the same goals. …You have to keep this to yourself. He's the money, but I'm the brains. We'll be mayor, just you see." BAD!!! I hate this man!! But the reason he's my favorite representation of an interpreter I've seen in this game, and quite possibly ANY game, is that… I've totally met this guy. Every Deaf person I know who has needed an interpreter has met this guy. There is a certain kind of person who becomes an interpreter (or really goes into any field that involves working closely with a marginalized group) primarily because they think that these poor people need their HELP. THEY know what's best for their clients! And they're going to see that done! Client's input be damned! It makes my skin crawl. The role of an interpreter is complex, and there are a lot of different opinions about how much an interpreter should interpret cultures as well as language, and this is made even MORE complex when you're interpreting for someone who is marginalized BECAUSE of this culture and language. But the Nocturnal Landscape Painter is clearly convinced that TE is going about everything wrong, and he's using his position as TE's interpreter to try to force him into what the Painter thinks is correct. And then has a big baby tantrum when TE does what he wanted to do anyway! It's no wonder they aren't friends anymore, if they ever were to begin with. I was glad that I got to throw this dude out of Helicon House. Wish I could do the same to everyone in my interpreting training cohort who thought it was their role to help all these poor sad Deaf people who couldn't get by without us. Gross.

In conclusion:

[loyalexecutor]

Yeah, you're right! It fucking sucks when people say they want to have a disorder, unaware and misinformed about what that entails! It sucks when people say they, too, wish they "had friends in their head", it sucks when people say they wish they were a "psychopath" as they hear in "pop psychology"— it sucks! it really, really does! Now, pray tell, are you normal about people with OCPD?

I'm so fucking tired of having to hear or read about people debating of whether it should even be considered a personality disorder, for all they see are "desirable" traits, since, yes, it sure fucking does sound nice on paper if you read about someone productive, organized and particularly moral. It sounds fucking great.

Even worse, most people with OCPD— even frequently myself included— will be tempted to agree with you that they do not have a problem! Because guess what, it is fucking ego-syntonic! That doesn't make it TRUE. Why are you able to recognize that other pw'PDs aren't exactly reliable with that kind of self-evaluation, yet make an exception for this one? Why must so many take it at face-value??

Please, I beg of you. Use your imagination for two fucking seconds of what excessive means. Someone being overconscientious and inflexible about morality doesn't mean "based activist who always got your back", it means "strict know-it-all who won't possibly hear you out if you even slightly disagree with his ridiculously thorough moral compass". It doesn't mean "upstanding citizen", in fact no fucking part of the criteria suggests that moral compass is at all being followed, it only speaks of how they put way too much thought and time into it, and are inflexible should you find a problem with it.

Reluctant to delegate work might sound fucking great for you if you're lazy, sure, up until the part where you lose your right to have a say in things that concern you. OCPD isn't exclusively there when it is convenient for you! If you want to suggest something to be done differently, you'll have to gnaw and bite and fight for it! Trust me, it'll fucking suck!

Sure, it'd be fucking great to be organized, but don't lose the preoccupied part of it. Hey, so you remember how OCPD is in the "anxious" cluster instead of the "dramatic" one? Did you fucking wonder why yet? Yeah, you bet your ass you will not be able to function without having a meticulous and detailed list for every single fucking thing you do in your life, ever. You'll try! People will eventually suggest you to place your to-do lists aside! Enjoy the breakdowns in the process. This is — NOT — the kind of organization you hear recommended from study guides and such, you'll end up writing a fucking bible for yourself

& yeah, being devoted to productivity sounds nice, doesn't it? If you ignore the excessive part. Odds are, you'll simply Not do anything you don't deem as productive, and everything you Do end up doing, you'll not be able to derive the enjoyment from that you currently do with leisure activities, because— boom! It's a task to you. They're all tasks. They're all tasks in your to-do list mentioned earlier. There is no such thing as Not working, at least in your head-- people around you might understand your hobbies as "leisure" and think you're taking plenty of free-time for yourself, but trust me— they'll be the precise same stress to you.

Oh yeah! And stress! Oh, so much stress. Have I yet mentioned stress? What, you think all these demanding expectations you'll set for yourself won't stress you? Oh, it will. and it'll interfere with your productivity. you'll fail to be consistent with it. which, in turn, will have you all the more stressed, since your brain will fucking need you to be productive for you to not feel gut-wrenching horrible.

Which, you guessed it, means people will barely see you around! Yep. you're busy. With something. Always something. There's no such thing of being content, or proud, or — let alone done.

But, please! Go on. Tell me how you fucking wish you had OCPD so you'd get your chores done. Putting it in perspective, I definitely hate that less than when people mix it up with OCD, so I guess you got that fucking going for you.