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labellefleur-sauvage · 2 years ago
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DILF in Aisle 3
Summary: Yrene is most certainly not angry and jealous and annoyed that women keep flirting with her husband. When she discovers women are interested in her husband for more than just his good looks, she decides to remind Chaol exactly who he belongs to.
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For Day 7 of @sjmromanceweek 2023! This has been such a fun week and I was inspired at the last minute to write a smutty one-shot continuation-ish fic from my Day 2 piece!
Rating: Explicit. Smut - see AO3 link for a full list of tags.
Word Count: 2.5K
Read on A03
Yrene was not jealous. 
She did not feel a sudden surge of annoyance at seeing the group of young, giggling women ogling her husband and daughter as he slipped different pairs of little shoes on her feet to distract her from her latest tantrum, nor did she feel anger rise in her like the sea during a storm at seeing one of those women come up to Chaol and coo at Josie, that little hussy laying a seemingly innocent hand on her husband’s arm. 
Yrene was well aware that Chaol was good looking. Actually, that was an understatement - her husband was ruggedly handsome, six feet of pure muscle with a face that made other men jealous that they weren’t him and would never be him. Perhaps she was a bit biased - what wife didn’t think their spouse was the best looking person they’d ever seen? But while other people had celebrity crushes or joked about having a “free pass,” Yrene never felt that. For her, it was Chaol and only Chaol.
And as she approached the laughing group of women openly flirting with her handsome but admittedly clueless husband, she decided they had had enough fun. 
“Hello dear,” Yrene chirped far too sweetly to Chaol, laying a hand on his lower back and staring daggers at the women around them. Their daughter squealed in delight at seeing her mom, practically throwing herself at Yrene from Chaol’s arms. The women froze.  
“Hey hun,” Chaol said, turning to Yrene with his big trademark smile on his face. “These ladies here were just admiring how well Josie was behaving.”
“You have a lovely daughter, ma’am,” one of the girls said meekly, trying - and failing - to do damage control. Ma’am? How old did Yrene look, for this girl who looked like she could be in college to call her ma’am? Yrene couldn’t help the death stare she sent the woman. Her friends seemed to have a bit more sense; they were slowly wandering away, leaving their cohort to suffer Yrene’s wrath alone.
“And an even lovelier husband,” Yrene snapped, pulling him even closer to him, “who loves his wife and daughter very much.” Finally Chaol sensed something was wrong - he looked between Yrene and the remaining woman with a frown. “Come on, dear,” Yrene said, giving the woman one last glare before placing their daughter in the shopping cart. “Let’s go check out.”
Yrene was silent as they went through the self checkout and out to their car, loading up their SUV while Chaol buckled Josie in her car seat. She giggled the entire time he was buckling her in, laughing in delight as he tickled her and kissed her cheeks and handed her favorite stuffed animal to her.  
Chaol was an excellent father to their daughter: he took nearly all late night feedings for her, changed just as many dirty diapers as Yrene did, and helped around the house without needing to be asked to do something. He had even experimented in making homemade baby puree, insisting that Josie only have the best and most nutritious food available.  
(Did Yrene still make sure to give her her favorite peach flavored rice cereal and fruit puree pouches? Of course - everyone needed their favorite foods, even babies.)
“Is everything OK?” Chaol asked as they buckled themselves into their seats. 
“Yes,” Yrene answered a bit too tersely. It wasn’t Chaol’s fault those women were shamelessly flirting with him but she couldn’t help feeling a little bit angry at him for not realizing they were blatantly coming onto him and stopping them. 
“Did I do something? Do you want me to drop you and Josie off at home or the coffee shop and I can finish the errands?”
And leave Chaol at the mercy of God knows how many untold women thirsting after him? “No, let's just go so we can get her home for her nap.”
“You sure? You still wanna go to Costco?” he asked slowly, clearly trying to determine how bad of a mood she was truly in. 
“Yeah, I wanna go to Costco,” she muttered, turning away to look out the window as Chaol took them out of the parking lot. She heard him give a little sigh of relief at her answer - he knew it wasn’t a complete meltdown if she still wanted to go to Costco.
They fought through the crowds and gathered their usual groceries and stuff they didn’t need but got anyway. Yrene had just talked Chaol out of buying their daughter another Squishmallow - “It’s bigger than she is! And she already has two!” “Yeah, but think about how cute it would be in her nursery!” - when she heard a voice mutter, “Fuck, that guy with the baby is hot.”
Yrene snapped her head around. Two women were staring at Chaol across the aisle as he held a giant stuffed animal up to Josie for her inspection. 
“Look at him,” one of the women said, staring at Chaol with desire in her eyes. “Certified DILF.”
The other woman hummed in agreement. “Dad I’d like to fuck, indeed. Think he wants another kid?”
As the women drifted away, with more lewd comments - “Look at how big his muscles are, he could toss me around and I’d gladly fall on his dick,” “I’d let him absolutely destroy me, make a MILF out of me,” - Yrene stood rooted in place. She was furious that those women were so openly objectifying her husband, but also shocked with the realization that other women found Chaol attractive not only because of his good looks, but because of the fact that he had a child. What was worse, she realized with a small amount of embarrassment and excitement, was that they were completely right: her husband was a DILF, and she had never really thought of him like that. 
Possessiveness, sudden and fierce and unexpected, spread through her entire body. The group of women flirting with him earlier sprang to her mind as she realized they weren’t flirting with Chaol the handsome man, but Chaol, the handsome father. Chaol was hers; how dare anyone, especially another woman, flirt with or lust after her husband while he cared for their daughter? How dare someone openly say they want to fuck him?
Yrene suddenly felt hot and itchy, her mouth dry and her eyelids heavy as she gazed at her husband in an entirely new light. She already thought Chaol was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, but looking at him holding their little girl, showing her all the brightly colored toys with blatant joy and love for her in his face, made Yrene appreciate her husband in an entirely new way.
Yes, she decided, perhaps it was as good a time as ever to re-stake her claim on her man and show him all the ways she truly valued him as a husband and father.
Yrene cleaned up dinner that night while Chaol gave Josie a bath and put her to sleep. She crept upstairs, peeking into their daughter’s nursery. Chaol was quietly reading Goodnight Moon to her, her little eyes heavy with sleep. Love and a familiar tingle spread through her lower stomach as she made her way to their bedroom to get ready. 
She had just finished her hair when she heard the floorboards outside their room shift as he approached. She threw herself on the bed just in time for Chaol to walk in and stop in his tracks as he took in his wife’s appearance. 
She hadn’t worn her nice lingerie since before she got pregnant and she regretted it, if only to see the wanton desire spread over her husband’s face. “Hello husband,” she said huskily, sauntering up to Chaol and grabbing the front of his shirt to bring his lips to hers. His lips were warm and soft and comforting and for a second she lost herself in the kiss, forgetting about her plan, before she tore herself away from him and pushed him on the bed.
“Hello wife,” he said, arousal and surprise coloring his voice as he helped Yrene tug his jeans off, lifting his hips off the bed so she could pull them down his thick thighs. He grinned. “You’re very eager tonight.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Am I usually not throwing myself at you whenever we’re together?”
He chuckled before it faded into a groan as she drew his boxers down to reveal his half hard cock, wrapping her small hand around his length and pumping. “No, tonight seems… different. Not that I’m complaining but what’s up?”
“Well, you had an eventful day today,” she replied, squeezing the base of his cock and enjoying his resounding hiss. “You received a lot of attention.”
Chaol frowned, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at her between his legs. “What are you talking about?”
“Lots of women noticed you and how good you are with Josie. How hot you look caring for her.” Yrene licked a broad stripe up his cock from root to tip and Chaol dug his hands into the duvet cover.
“Is this,” he grunted out, “about what happened earlier at the store? I didn’t realize - “
“You didn’t realize those women were flirting with you because they saw a sexy man with his child and couldn’t help coming up to you and throwing themselves at you for a bit of attention? You didn’t even hear what some other women at Costco said later. Know what they called you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer, kissing the underside of his cock and swiping her tongue over the tip. “They called you a DILF. And they’re right. But you know what?”
Chaol didn’t answer; he only groaned and lifted his hips up, the tip of his cock bumping into Yrene’s plush lower lip.
“It’s because of me those women were crawling over you and I’m the only one who gets to fuck you,” she snarled as she took his cock in her mouth.
Chaol moaned through gritted teeth as Yrene bobbed her head on his cock, gradually working down until she could fit all but the last inch into her mouth. He was cursing and praising her quietly, and she felt a rush of victory flow through her - none of those other women would ever get to see Chaol like this. Only her. 
She wrapped her hand around the bit of his cock she couldn’t reach and dragged her tongue over his length. His hand gripped the back of her head, gently guiding her head up and down his cock as she stared defiantly at him, triumph in her eyes. He scrunched his eyes and threw his head back and Yrene forced her mouth off him and scrambled on top of him. She took his hard, wet length in her hand and waited for him to meet her eyes.
“You’re mine,” she growled, slamming her hips down and taking him all in one go. His hands immediately moved to rest under her thighs, helping her bounce on his cock. She moaned low in her throat; fuck, he felt so good, so thick, stretching her and reaching so deep inside her. She dug her nails into his shoulders, needing to mark him in some feral way as hers.  
“Fuck, you feel good,” Chaol groaned, his hands digging so hard into her thighs moving over him that she supposed he also felt the need to leave a memento of this night on her. A wild thought entered her mind, of him leaving another, more permanent reminder of this coupling inside her, and she found herself getting even wetter at the idea, her lower stomach tightening in anticipation. He moaned as he felt her inner walls tighten around him. 
He was so beautiful in that moment, Yrene thought, slowing down as her legs tired out. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut and made the most delightful noises; Yrene felt a brief flash of pity for all the women who would never see Chaol as she got to see him.
“Only I get to see you like this,” she breathed, grinding her hips above him. “Only ever me.” He opened his eyes and grinned before he pulled her off him and flipped them so she was on her back and Chaol was above her. He gripped the back of her thighs and pushed them up so her thighs were touching her chest, her center dripping and open.
“And only I get to see you like this,” he growled, slamming into her. “All mine, so perfect.”
Yrene whined in her throat as his cock hit all new places inside her. Now it was her turn to lie back and let her husband have his say.
“Did seeing all those women flirt with me and want me make you jealous?” he asked, staring intently at her face. She didn’t answer right away, thinking it was obvious, when his thumb grazed her clit. “Well?”
“Yes,” she gasped, circling her hips to try to get him to keep touching her.
“Yes, what?” he asked, hauling one of her legs over his shoulder. The new angle had his cock hitting something sensitive inside her and stars erupted behind her eyelids. 
“Yes, I was jealous and angry and -"
“Needed to show me who I belonged to, hm?” He was still roughly thrusting inside her, sweat beading his temple. He grabbed her chin and forced him to look at him. “You have me. Always.”
Yrene felt tears spring to her eyes as his thumb rubbed her clit and his lips crashed against hers and she was coming, a spark igniting in her core and traveling through her body like the wick on a stick of dynamite before it detonated, leaving her shaking and gasping. 
“Only you,” he grunted, shuddering as his release hit. “Only ever you.”
He rolled over and brought her on top of him. They were both sweaty and sticky and tired but neither moved, too content to be near each other. 
“I’ll have to make sure to take Josie out more often, if it means I get this type of response from you,” Chaol joked, laughing even harder as Yrene smacked him with a pillow. 
“You wouldn’t!”
“If it means you’d fuck me like that, yeah, I most definitely would. What did you say some women at Costco called me? A DILF?”
“God, this is going to go right to your head,” she moaned, slapping a hand over her face.
“Too late,” he quipped. “But maybe we can think about you making me a dad again.” He nipped her bottom lip and rolled them over so he was on top of her. She gasped and couldn’t stop the blush staining her cheeks at his words. 
“Oh yeah,” he whispered, grinding his half hard cock against her thigh and seeing the dazed look in her eyes. “I think that’s something you’d be interested in, wouldn’t it?”
Yrene groaned. “Chaol Westfall, you’re insufferable.”
“Yeah, I am, and I’m all yours,” he said, looking at her so fondly and with so much pride she thought her heart might beat itself out of her chest, and she thought that maybe having a hot DILF for a husband wasn’t so bad after all. 
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hinamie · 1 month ago
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trick or treat!
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theoldkyokodied · 1 year ago
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Really quick doodles of a few scenes from the stream yesterday. Including combat flirting taunting, gale’s magnificently distracting shoes and.. whatever you wanna call gale agreeing to give 15 gold to astarion 😐😑😐😑😐 (that’s me blinking)
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elminster-big-naturals · 1 year ago
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when its 4am and the whole squad is zooted out their gourds trying to read the overhead menu in mcdonalds
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officialspec · 9 months ago
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i always roll my eyes a little bit when someone openly looks down on people who are religious/spiritual. ur telling me youve never made a wish before?? never sent a little prayer out into the universe???? get real
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egophiliac · 8 months ago
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IT WAS ERIC AFTER ALL!!!! I'm so glad we got to meet him (before Vil snaps him away with those Infinity Gauntlets) (can't wait to see what happens when we get the matching Infinity Tiara to go with them, there will be no survivors)
(sorry to be so slow/rough lately, just got a lot of stuff on the ol' brain at the moment! alas, if only I could spend all my time drawing incredibly stupid characters I mean I do but)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#remy bonnaire#Arno#through a series of unfortunate events I will be posting this after the update will be out so my timing will be more so:#“Alternate take on how that scene played out” Rather than my funnier “My prediction for how it will go down”#I truly think Remy would rather admit to crimes he didn't commit than confess he has a thing for men.#It would be funny! It would be so funny if this is how Jamis found out. Alas...Not yet...Not yet...#I do love the idea that Jamis completely overlooked the all the elder god horror to get right down to the question of 'HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM'#Remy knows him. Knows him carnally. Wouldn't you like to also know your captain better? In spirit and body and mind?#Jealousy looks good on Jamis. Now he just has to do something about it.#Poor Remy though...He love Jamis so much he'd do anything to prevent losing him.#Which entails never giving Jamis a chance of rejecting or accepting his feelings!#Meanwhile...Jamis is a bisexual disaster man who is at his *limit*.#(For the MDZS fans looking at this Tigers comic who still have no context:#This is like Lan Xichen finding out Jin Guangyao hooked up with Nie Mingjue after LXC spent all that time thinking JGY was straight.#Better yet. This is like WWX just starting to realize his crush on LWJ and then finding out he and JC hooked up in the time skip.#'Nice to know you're into men but why did I have to find out like this' moment.)#((Yes I am trying to bridge the gap between the fandoms I am in. Yes I am still on my propaganda train. Choo Choo!!!))
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quixoticprince · 4 days ago
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When your medic leaves to go pocket another man or something
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kizzer55555 · 6 months ago
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The Vampire Aesthetic
Ok so Danny knows two billionaires personally and they really couldn’t be more different. Yet they had one thing in common. A vampire aesthetic. Sam is fully into goth. Spiderwebs, bats, the color black. She enjoys fangs and fake blood and the darkness of her soul. Meanwhile, Vlad is Vlad. If his name wasn’t enough, the dark clothing, pale skin, and flying around with a cape and fangs with coffins in his mansion really sells it.
Danny doesn’t know many rich people so he thinks this might be some kind of trend. (If Paulina is rich, her family likes the chupacabra) So he just thinks that all rich people have some kind of vampire thing going on.
Cue Danny somehow ending in the Wayne household. Maybe he was brought over as a friend of one of the bats, maybe rescued from a field trip/vacation gone wrong, maybe some other situation. But he is there in civilian form with civilian Waynes and Danny just takes a good long look around the inside of the mansion.
“So where’s the vampire aesthetic?
Everyone freezes.
Danny just starts looking around, checking behind paintings and feeling the walls for secret levers. Used to secret passages with Vlad and possibly Sam. The Fentons definitely had them when they were temporarily rich.
“Come on, I know you guys are hiding it.”
Cue the entire batfamily thinking that this is another Tim and that he is fully aware that these people are the batfamily. Danny hangs around the mansion more and the bats just start dropping their disguises and not even bothering to hide stuff around Danny because they assume he already knows. (Possibly even trying to recruit him to be a new bat) Meanwhile, Danny, who does not know these people are batman and his birds, just does not pick up on any of it.
He grew up in a health violation with a giant ballon observatory lab above his head and a portal to the afterlife in his basement. He is a half dead teenager who has tea with the god of time and his godfather is the other parent to his clone child. He’s used to death lazers being scattered across his home and mysterious stains on clothing.
People are weird! He doesn’t judge!
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#The Batfamily think Danny knows their secret.#For once Danny really is clueless and thinks they are just his new billionaire friends.#Blood stains? What bloodstains? That must be chili.#Danny: *knocks into Jason and accidentally pushes out bad ecto without realizing it* “oh sorry about that.” Jason: “are you God?”#Danny is obsessed with the animals. They are little BABIES! Damian approves this new interloper. Danny rides Batcow and has a ✨🤩✨ moment.#Danny introduces Damian to Cujo. No one else knows about Cujo. Damian will make SURE no one else knows about Cujo.#Cujo and Titan are best friends.#I know people think Duke’s ghost vision has him see Danny as something obviously not normal but I do you one better.#He cannot see or hear Danny at all. It takes him MONTHS before he realizes that the batfamily are talking to an additional presence.#And instead of thinking this is weird he thinks this is a new code they have developed and is trying to decipher it.#Duke watching Damian as he casually talks to the wall. Danny looking at Damian “why is he staring at us.”#Damian makes direct eye contact with Duke. “Training.”#Duke: WHAT DOES THAT MEEEAAANN?!?!?#There are ‘accidents’ like that one Time Danny was staying over and Jason was trying to sneak into the mansion.#Red hood (in full gear with guns bombs and glowing red eye googles) comes over at 1 am and crawls up the vent and opens it above Danny’s be#Danny: lying on the bed with his eyes wide awake and already staring at the ceiling as the vent above him opens. *waves* “Sup”.#Red Hood: …….“sup” (slooowwwly closes vent)
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chalkrub · 3 months ago
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saw some mangy dog on the outskirts of town
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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puppetmaster13u · 8 months ago
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Cryptid Batfam Prompt- But in Memes
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ducktracy · 5 months ago
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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chubbychiquita · 1 year ago
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egophiliac · 6 months ago
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i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada
thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.
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also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!
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not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago
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Actually, the bars aren't so bad anymore.
Think you can fix him? Read about his care instructions over at Tiger Tiger)
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