#but from my person experience when people exaggerate real life World Problems up to 11 to the point of becoming absurd i think its like.

[binalakai-archive]

autistic person that cannot find satire funny vs. autistic person that can ONLY find satire funny.....

[mangamushi]

Thoughts on Saikyou Densetsu Kurosawa

FUKUMOTO Nobuyuki, 11 volumes, published from 2003 to 2006 in Big Comic Original (Seinen)

Saikyou Densetsu Kurosawa (Legend of the strongest man Kurosawa) follows the story of 44 years old construction worker Kurosawa as he realizes he spent most of his life without any meaningful connections with anyone nor any special achievements. He decides to change his life so that he can become proud of his own accomplishments and efforts, and earn respect and appreciation from the people around him.

(spoiler warning)

So I’m currently binging Fukumoto manga, after having them on my “plan to read” list for several years…I started with Kaiji, but initially the first manga of his that caught my interest was Kurosawa. The themes of it are right up my alley, and I like main characters that are not teenagers or young adults.

Kurosawa has a sequel, Shin Kurosawa: Saikyou Densetsu, which is a direct continuation. I’ll mostly be focusing on the first part here. 

The art is typical Fukumoto style. Odd at first, definitely not the prettiest nor the most impressive out there, but it does the job and I really grew to like it. He doesn’t hesitate to give exaggerated features to his characters, and I actually find the deliberate ugliness of the character designs refreshing. It certainly fits the story of Kurosawa, makes the characters very expressive and works well with the often comedic tone. 

Although the art looks simple, Fukumoto can deliver very intense pages when he needs to. 

His forte is in his use of narration combined with the picture, rather than in the drawings alone. He is a master at using a narrator’s comments or the character’s thoughts to raise tension and make the manga flow better.

 Kurosawa is definitely written with a lot of heart. Both the manga itself and the titular character, feel very genuine. Kurosawa is very flawed and very human. He is rough but powerful, his desires are simple, and he is straightforward in his reactions, to the point that his impulsive nature and lack of social restraints put him in trouble, especially when it comes to women...

There are a few instances however where he comes close to harassing women, which is played for laugh, which I disliked. Those scenes made me less sympathetic towards him as he actually deserved the repercussions of his actions here.

But besides those chapters, Kurosawa is overall a likeable character, easy to sympathize with and to root for as we see him at a low point of his life.

He is clumsy in his interactions with his coworkers, which, coupled with his hot-temper, often leads to misunderstandings and prevents him from getting closer to them despite his best efforts. I actually found Kurosawa’s failed attempts at achieving popularity reminiscent of Watamote. The beginning of both series, in which a pathetic main character fails repetitively at gaining the appreciation of their peers through outlandish strategies, elicits the same mixture of pity, second-hand embarrassment, and amusement.

Kurosawa also gets into a fair number of fights. While those fight-focused chapters were not bad, I was personally less into them.

Drawing literal fist-fights in not what Fukumoto’s best at. His character’s postures are somewhat stiff, which he compensates for with heavy use of speed-lines. It is okay-ish, but I want read a fight scene, there’s plenty of fighting manga out there that can do a better job. 

 I like Fukumoto more when he writes more psychological battles, like in his gambling mangas. Of course, psychological elements and strategies where not totally absent from the fights, but it was nowhere as much as in his gambling manga. Sometimes I think Kurosawa was a bit too lucky in the fights, as he is not a very athletic person nor someone with a lot of experience in fighting. It did not feel very convincing to me.

Besides, it is through these battles that Kurosawa gathers allies, a reputation and respect. But most of his opponents are teenagers, even middle-schoolers ! Granted they are very scary teenagers, but I still fail to see how a 44 years old man throwing hands with teenagers is such a praise worthy thing...

 I think I prefer to see Kurosawa fight and struggle to improve his life in a less literal way that actual physical fighting.

I haven’t read that many of Fukumoto’s works yet, but I feel like an important theme in them is perseverance/resilience. He puts his characters through a lot, but they tend to have some form of resistance that shines through as admirable. Kurosawa’s will to fight and to push back against adversity is sometimes the only thing he has left, and it is extremely important.

However, that is not an innate ability that comes to him easily -at times Kurosawa hides, flees, cowers. He hesitates, and he needs to think things through before he actually decides to fight.

Fukumoto: You know how protagonists in shonen manga do things like jump in to stop their classmate from being bullied without thinking about how they might get beaten up themselves? I always felt that wasn’t real. So with Kurosawa, I wanted to make a manga that shows hesitation, and how it actually isn’t so easy to defend people like that.

(Excerpt from this interview)

I like this kind of manga where characters reflect about what is the right decision to take and on how they should be living their life. And how the reader has access to their inner turmoil and thoughts. 

 His strength is often born from sheer desperation and desire to survive. It is when he is cornered that he can manage to act and fight even when the odds are against him. He has to make do with the very few tools and options he has, which leads him to elaborate unconventional tactics to win over his opponents. 

Having cornered underdogs characters winning over more powerful, but less desperate, opponents seems like a running theme in Fukumoto’s manga (cf. the made-up E-card Game from Kaiji, in which The Slave is the only card that can win against The Emperor, precisely because it is so low that it has nothing to lose anymore).

In a way, one could argue Kurosawa follows a formula reminiscent of classic shounen manga: a character who is below average at first rises to a heroic status through willpower, effort and after fighting a string of opponents. However, there are major differences that set Kurosawa apart, besides the older characters and more adult setting (Kurosawa’s worries are grounded in reality: growing old alone, financial problems...) Kurosawa does not provide escapism and dreams. The story begins with Kurosawa as a single old man, and ends with him an even older still single man. He does not become an amazing fighter through power boost and magic training like a shounen character might.

He does want to dream big, but all things considered, his achievements are fairly modest. He is not saving the world or becoming hokage.  At most he is just helping some other marginalized people from his neighborhood.  

Even if he puts his life on the line to fight, what he accomplished will fade into oblivion at some point.

But, even so, his efforts and struggle are still admirable.

Besides, Kurosawa is not about friendship, at least not the kind of friendship you find in shounen manga.

In Fukumoto’s manga, people may stick together for survival, they can share intense emotions when put through the same ordeals, but it’ll rarely turn into true companionship. Kurosawa is alone from the start, and while he does connect with other people throughout the story, in the sequel those relationships are left behind as he leaves on his own to start a new life. 

Fukumoto: My protagonists, on the other hand, are always alone – not only do they not have followers, they don’t even have friends. (laugh) [...]  I can’t do manga where the characters readily make friends that they risk their lives for. I started out by drawing short human drama pieces, but even then – partially because I wasn’t doing long-term series, but – they weren’t generally stories about friends.

I was kind of expecting Asai, one of Kurosawa’s coworker, to have a bigger role, but that didn’t happen. (I liked the part where he tried to comfort Kurosawa after he got humiliated so I was hoping for more!)

The story isn’t very cohesive or straighforward, it just follows Kurosawa’s life, who wants to change but lacks a clearly defined goal or road to follow. There isn’t one big coherent plot, instead the story goes in different directions, shifting from one genre to another from chapter to chapter. Kurosawa even admits it himself !

The quality of the chapters and different arcs is in my opinion rather uneven. 

 There are some really powerful scenes, notably the very end of the manga which is very touching. Kurosawa successfully leads a group of homeless men to defend themselves against some delinquents who were threatening them, but as a result of his injuries, he is implied to die. (The sequel manga reveals he actually just goes into coma for 8 years). It is bittersweet ending as he finally achieved something and is surrounded by human warmth.

                  Shin Kurosawa, the sequel, is similar to the first part, though slightly more light-hearted and focused on humor (even though Kurosawa’s situation technically worsens!). It seems to be less liked than the first part for those same reasons, but I personally enjoy Fukumoto’s humor and his more slice of life-y mangas. It has many genuinely funny moments. Once in a while there are still some chapters that feel deeper/more thought provoking, as Fukumoto likes to reflect about society, life, and humanity in his stories.

For anyone looking for other manga with similar themes, I can recommend Furuya Minoru’s excellent Wanitokagegisu . Both feature very lonely adult men who wish to turn their life around, and oscillate between humor and psychological drama.

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Hello friends, this is just a thing that I wanted to mention real quick (you: “stop it Jenny, we know you don’t do real quick”) because it’s been playing on my mind for some time. Trigger warning for mental illness.

 To begin, a (somewhat) brief preface. When I talk about what’s a ‘real’ diagnosis and what’s not, I’m referring to what exists in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-V); and the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11).

 The most recent edition of the DSM-V was published in 2013 by the American Psychiatric Association, and the most recent edition of the ICD-11 in 2018. They are both common diagnostic tools for mental disorders, offering clear, standardised criteria. The DSM is more commonly used in America and is more universally known, while the ICD-11, despite being less common knowledge, actually has a wider reach professionally and is used more in Europe and other parts of the world. It also has a broader scope than the DSM, covering overall health instead of just mental disorders.

 Please bear in mind that I have not read either resource in their entirety, this is just what I can work out from more general research of the two, compared to patterns in writing that I see all the time. And just know that I’m not calling anyone out or trying to police anyone’s creativity. Consider this an information dump, and inspiration to research what you write.

 So, with all the boring stuff out of the way: what’s my damn point? Why did I take on the mammoth task of reducing a complicated and very nuanced issue to a single post? In fact, what is the issue at hand? 5 paragraphs in and I’ve still not addressed it, I’m a great essayist.

 Well, it all started with the song  “Sweet But Psycho” by Ava Max. And no, I don’t know it -- and neither does my sister who seems to think she does, because I hear the first four lines sung out loud more than I ever needed to: “Oh, she's sweet but a psycho / A little bit psycho / At night she's screamin' / I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind”. And when you have that catchy but annoying tune in your head, the things you hate about it are inescapable. 

 At this point, you’re probably thinking this is another rant about the glorification (or even, gasp, the cutesification) of mental illness around us and, uh...sort of? Like I said, I’m not here to police anybody. And I don’t think almost anything is truly bad in isolation -- it’s the trend that scares me. There’s not much I, a lowly internet dweeb, can do about the mainstream, but I do think I can educate my fellow peers. And what I want to educate you on today is the use of words that don’t mean what we think they mean, as an example of why we need to mind the subject matter we handle.

 So. ‘Psycho’. In terms of writing, most people use it to refer to their characters who are your batshit off-the-wall cutesy crazy types. Your Yanderes and Jeff The Killers of the fandom world. It’s usually short for two different terms: either Psychopath or Psychotic, and in neither case does this do anybody any favours. Let me explain.

 The term ‘Psychopath’ is often used to describe someone who is cruel, violent, has no care for others, and is often bloodthirsty. These characters are usually presented in one of two ways: as someone who can blend into wider society until their true dark nature is triggered, at which point they become deadly and dangerous; or as someone who is simply unapproachable at all times. Psychopath also has a sister term it’s often treated as interchangeable with, of which I am sure you’re aware: Sociopath. A ‘Sociopath’ is someone who cannot or simply does not experience empathy, sympathy, all those wonderful emotions that make us caring and considerate towards others. As a result, a ‘Sociopath’ often winds up doing radically hurtful things to other people.

 The trouble with both of these words is that, medically, they do not exist. Not how we think they do. We just made them up to be mean to each other. That’s right, you can’t be diagnosed as a Sociopath, or a Psychopath. Yeah, I was shocked too. I got so used to hearing people described like this, I thought they must be real.

 And I’m not saying that these words are invalid, just because they’re not real diagnoses. That’s not how words work. The beauty of language is that we invented it, and we can keep on reinventing it. If people use the term ‘Psychopath’ in this way, it will inevitably come to mean this exact thing, no matter what psychology says. And that’s fine. The trouble is that they are often conflated with real mental illness. Used in the place of a genuine diagnosis so we can still have our crazy villain type without the constraints of real, attributable illness. Because you gotta keep ‘em guessing!!1! In the same way they become real words if we use them like they are, they become interchangeable with actual mental issues if we use them that way. The ‘symptoms’ of being a Psycho- or Sociopath are oftentimes just exaggerated forms of symptoms belonging to actual, diagnosed illnesses. And like I said, trends are worse than individual problems, but when we see a combination of symptoms in an illness, whether that illness is given a fake name or not, in exclusively characters who we’d never want to meet in real life, the real sufferers suffer. It puts a stigma in our minds whether we mean for it to or not; it closes us off to conversations, to understanding these people and how to help them.

 The worst cases are when writers take the opportunity to justify their use of the word by ‘diagnosing’ the character themselves, which takes on a whole new level of Yikes. We’re in such an awkward place in terms of representation at the moment, and I know it’s hard to navigate. I have all the love for people who do so with pure intentions. If, for example, you have a straight character, it’s easy for that character to be themselves. But if you have a gay character, everything they do is Gay, and it’s a representation of the Gay Community, and you will be held to a higher standard because of that. That is the lens through which we look at media right now, and it sucks for everyone, and is so easily exploited, but it is what it is. In much the same way, if your character is the only character in your story with a certain illness and they’re also your Big Bad, or someone who would be genuinely terrifying to approach -- well, I don’t think I need to explain why that could be seen as a major disservice. And of course, if your character is the only one in a whole darn genre...yeah. This is why trends matter. And why the trend of mental health getting misrepresented is so troublesome.

 But I digress: because remember, I did say there were two uses of the word Psycho, and the second is grounded in reality. The word ‘Psychotic’ is, medically speaking, a real thing. Again, used to mean someone who is deranged, possibly murderous - and like I said, if a word is used a certain way, it will come to mean a certain thing. But the term has a psychological basis. Psychotic describes someone experiencing Psychosis - a mental disorder in which the sufferer experiences a break from reality. The most classic case is a war veteran who thinks he is suddenly back on the battlefield.

 But obviously, a sufferer of a serious and damaging phenomenon isn’t what we think of when we hear ‘Psycho’ or even ‘Psychotic’. I don’t want to lean too much into the impact on mental health as a whole; that the idea of being neurodivergent is subsequently glamourised and demonised at the same time; that people latch onto labels that have real, practical use, all for the sake of feeling special. I want to keep it basic now. I want to ask: do terms like these have a place in writing? Specifically, in RP, since that is the form with which I am most acquainted right now. Obviously I can only answer with my own opinion, since there’s no Holy Doctrine to tell us one way or another.

 I’m not going to sit here and demonise everyone I think has mishandled subject matter. Believe me, I’ve not always been good at it -- I’m still not always good at it. And as someone actively playing a character whose mental issues are a major part of his characterisation, and who does things that make him unlikeable because of those mental illnesses, I know the pressure to get it right all the time. That unsteady balance between realism and demonisation, glorification and representation. The desire to put labels to traits, to have an understanding of what’s going on in such a complicated mind. It’s tricky. Everyone’s experiences are different. And I’m not saying we need to get rid of “crazy for the sake of crazy” characters, or view everything through the lens of “but who will this hurt??”; or get rid of these terms altogether. Like I said, societal meaning is still meaning. And I personally like to believe that most authors have good intentions, even those with poor execution. And I’m certainly not trying to shame anyone for falling for societal opinion. Everyone has about something at some point.

 If there’s a point to this at all, it’s this: research. Learn. Adapt. Not even my information is perfect and correct. I’ve seen everything above done a million times in so many ways, good and bad. If you want to follow a trend in writing or in storytelling, do, but try to understand it first so you can execute it better. Give it a purpose, and a place. Seize your right to be creative, by all means, but also take the opportunity to learn something new. And in turn, use your art to not only express and entertain, but educate.

 Tl;dr: The best premise in the word can still be executed poorly, but likewise, a poor premise can be executed well. No subject matter has to be wholly off limits, and not everything has to be a statement about something. But handling matters, so handle your work with respect. Do your research and understand what you’re saying before you say it. Make something you’re proud to stand by.

[junkyardlynx]

Pt. 11

Nothing worked. The world happens, the world changes, the world, it is written here, in the next line, is only its own membrane—

Enlightenment. Vijay Seshadri.

---

Thomas scratched his cheek meekly, regarding the problem of the stranger he’d brought home as he stood in the kitchen, waiting for some water to boil. He had no parents to speak of and the uncle that was supposed to be his “guardian” simply left him money for food each month. There wouldn’t be any teen movie hijinks of hiding someone in his room only for his kind-but-suspicious mother to “accidentally” make too much dinner or anything like that. 

Rummaging around in the cupboards for a couple of tea bags, Thomas sighed. Why was he doing this? Obviously Jeal was being attacked and Sarisa defended him. The lady with the sword and mask was some kind of crazy ninja assassin. A crazy ninja assassin sitting on his couch. Was it because Jeal was rich? Like, he didn’t seem rich, but his crazy-weird dad owned a couple local businesses and they had that huge house. By all means, Thomas should be taking the side of his close friends.

But, ah. It was obvious.

Sarisa had used some kind of...magic. 

Not some Harry Potter wand waving stuff with dementors and the like. Like. Final Fantasy magic. With the elements and the -ga suffixes and the mana cost and the really overpowered party member who learned all the good spells and had the best materia.

Thomas was unable to be considered a thoughtful boy and that was because he simply couldn’t let the sheer wonder at such an event go. He had to know, and if he knew his friends (which it felt like he didn’t, really) he knew they wouldn’t tell him. They always “protected” him. They’d lie and call him crazy and make him doubt his own eyes until he buried the subject himself. They’d done it before. For his sake, they said.

Truthfully? 

He felt a little betrayed.

Jeal moved with supernatural grace and speed, stepping between every slash that girl had levied at him like it was boring. Every time Thomas replayed that scene in his head, it was more and more apparent that Jeal was simply playing with her. His friend’s red eyes, which seemed like a curious touch of albinism, now seemed preternatural and overly cruel. He was more a sculpture of ice than a person.

Shaking his head and sighing again, Thomas poured the boiling water over two bags of blueberry chamomile in two matching mugs, both reading “World’s Coolest Kid.” He thought it was funny. Steeping them for a practiced three-and-a-half minutes, he then discarded the bags in the trash and brought the tea out to the living room.

He sat one down in front of his guest, who regarded him with one cursory glance before picking it up. She seemed to use it as more of a hand-warmer than anything else as it was still far too hot to drink comfortably. 

“How’s the jaw?”

She winced at his words, rubbing it with her right hand. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) it had merely been dislocated and Thomas had been able to snap it back into place for her. 

“Fine. And your hand?”

He gave it an exaggerated shake. She’d bitten into it when he was performing what one might call “amateur non-invasive surgery.” 

“Probably broken, I’ll chop it off later.”

She didn’t really smile, but her eyes seemed to lighten up.

“So uh, what’s your name?”

“Fujiwara. Yours?”

“Damn, you really get to the point. Not one wasted word. Uh, I’m Thomas. Nice to fix your face and also meet you.”

“Pleasured.”

He noted that for whatever else, she didn’t seem to actively dislike him. The thought was strangely comforting. Fujiwara was probably her family name or whatever.

“So uh, Fujiwara. Can you tell me why you were trying to fillet that weirdo alive?” 

“You know who he is.”

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Of course she knows I know him if she’s hunting him, Thomas thought. It’d be stranger if she didn’t.

“I agreed to this because you do not know what he is. I would ask that you dispense with falsehoods.” 

“Uh, fair enough. So why were you trying to kill Jeal?”

“He’s a demon.”

In spite of himself, Thomas laughed. He laughed so hard that tea splashed out of his mug, landing with a wet little splat on the coffee table. He apologized quickly.

“Sorry. Uh. I’ve known him since we were like, four feet tall. Jeal’s not a demon.”

“You think demons cannot simply be born like any other creature? What do you know of demons? What do you know of Sarisa? What do you know of Jeal? Of magic? What do you know of any of this?”

Her words were cold, but not cruel. Fujiwara seemed to be genuinely inquiring as to what Thomas knew.

“I mean, I’m sure you know I’m gonna say magic isn’t real outside of games and books. Jeal and Sarisa are weird, but they’re not like, demons. Where’s the horns and flames and stuff? Or where’s the like, overwhelming sex appeal? Neither of ‘em have it for me, man.” 

“I only said Jeal was a demon, but your outlook is fair. They’ve lied to you and done the utmost to keep you from finding out the truth. I suppose it is a sort of mercy. After all, magic has a tendency to destroy the lives of whatever it touches.”

It sounded to Thomas like she was speaking from experience. He went to apologize again before swallowing his words with a swig of tea from his mug. Empty platitudes never served anyone well.

“Jeal Culaine is a demon, born to a family of mages from his father’s side while his mother is a youkai - a yuki-onna, to be precise. In the past, we pursued his mother as a matter of honor, but now our sole concern is Jeal’s existence. He should not be.”

“Well, right away I can tell you that you’ve got the wrong guy. Jeal’s last name isn’t Culaine, it’s Innhamlet.”

She looked terribly sad for a moment.

“Have you ever heard of the scion of a wealthy family attending a public school under an alternative name? This is a...similar case.”

Thomas set the mug down before he could drop it, masking his frustration and surprise remarkably well. He scratched behind his ear - all of his scratches were something of a nervous habit - and then spoke.

“So you’re telling me his last name is Culaine and he’s half-Japanese? Jesus, how many lies can one dude tell? That’s one hell of a backstory. What’s next, you’re gonna tell me that he’s like, some sleeping demon lord and he’s gonna nuke the entire earth? That’s a little too Marty Stu for me, Fuji.”

“You may not enjoy how close to the mark you are. I spoke of Jeal being a demon; this is both figurative and literal. In the figurative sense, he is simply too powerful to be left alone. His heritage gives him strange powers and draws strange things to him. His natural talent is also...quite terrifying.”

“So he’s really strong? But Jeal’s really kind. I don’t see how that’s a problem. He usually just does his own thing, and the only time I’ve ever seen him act out was to help, like...people like me. Mostly me, actually. Pretty much just me.”

“We have observed as much. Were this and this alone, we would simply be content to leave him be. The heart of the matter comes from the literal sense of the word demon.”

“I know enough about folklore to know that youkai are kinda demons or whatever, is that what you mean? Like, he’s a halfsies on his mom’s side, he should be pretty normal. A little cold, haha, but y’know. Normal.”

“Your poor humor aside, that is both what I mean and not entirely what I mean. As he is the offspring of a youkai, his mana - think of it as life essence - is heavily intoxicating to the inhuman. This, coupled with the sorcerer’s blood from his father, has attracted the attention of what you might equate to, ah, the devil.”

“Oh, okay. I see. So you’re fucking with me.”

“I am not. Do you know how many bled against Emirus to find information on this vessel?”

“Jeal’s dad? He’s way nice, too. I find this all really hard to actually beli-”

Fujiwara had begun to levitate off of the couch, still sipping her tea. Thomas realized that an innumerable amount of eyes stared back at him, peering from every exposed piece of Fujiwara’s skin. She levied her multitudinous stare at him.

“Okay. I get your point. Magic’s probably real. I still don’t really believe any of this, but go on.”

His words seemed more like a prayer to himself rather than a real denial. All the pieces were coming together, all the strange things he chose (or was told) to ignore. All the doubts he had, all the vague feelings. Every inconsistency lining up with a lie revealed by this stranger from a strange land.

“His name is Soritoroth. All of the classic Abrahamic demons draw their origins back to him, along with a few others that are somewhat more difficult to categorize. A detailed history would be a waste of time, but suffice it to say he is a calamitous event unto himself.”

“And what, he wants to wear Jeal like some kind of humansona?”

“Why do you insist on using words that both vex and amuse me? But yes. Jeal’s body and power are acting as a beacon for Soritoroth, though he can make use of any vessel that has bathed in the proper pow...ah, this is....”

Thomas found her two dark eyes on him, regarding him with a stark and clinical look. The rest had vanished. He wasn’t sure if they were an illusion or simply a part of her. He wasn’t very interested in finding out for sure.

“Uh?”

“It’s nothing. I was going to tell you that you seem to be a viable candidate due to your prolonged exposure to Jeal, but I’m sure your own latent magical prowess is far too lacking. As we thought, there appears to be the one vessel. That makes my mission all the more pressing.”

Fujiwara stood up, checking her body with a few pats. She pulled the mask out of her robe, channeling a bit of her strange power into it. It seemed to ripple, restoring the lost material, once again reflecting the face of a terrifying oni. She gave Thomas a short bow.

“The tea was...delicious. Thank you. I appreciate your help. If I may offer a word of warning?”

“Uh, shoot.”

“Do not act differently around those two. They are uncannily attentive. Though I know quite little about Sarisa, her own lineage is storied and the both of them are, frankly, absurd; both seek out trouble and revel in it.”

“And you’re gonna try and murder him again, knowing that?”

“I suppose. It is all I can do.”

“How about...”

His voice trailed off. This was betrayal most supreme. He’d have to change his name to Thomas Judas after this. But he felt that this was the only way to really save his friends.

“How about you let me help?”

“Excuse me?”

“I love those guys. There’s got to be another way. Just let me be your inside man and I’ll do what I can, you know? There’s always another way that doesn’t involve Jeal mopping the floor with you again.”

“You are...not entirely incorrect.”

“So it’s a deal?”

Fujiwara considered Thomas for a long moment, arms crossed over her chest. Eyes simultaneously like honeyed amber and black mud regarded him, dissected him a thousand ways, looked into what he was. At least, that’s how it felt to Thomas. He felt very small under her stare.

“If you continue to serve tea of this quality and allow me to reside here as I plan, then I suppose it is.”

Thomas thrust his hand out and Fujiwara took it, thin and pale lips finally curling into a real smile. She was terse at first, but she had gradually opened up over the course of their questionable conversation. It felt like all disjointed pieces were coming together now. He could begin to see the big picture - where his friends would go when they gave vague excuses, what they were doing, who they really were. In the end, it didn’t matter to him. They were the people he loved, and he was going to protect them this time. He’d help them like they always helped him. He’d save Jeal from both this assassin and whatever was coming for him. Things felt good. Things finally made sense.

Of course, their hard times had just begun.

[back-and-totheleft]

#Election2020

Why [the support for Trump], in your opinion? I was surprised that there was less support for the change than I expected. I expected the American people to be tired of Trump, tired of his misbehavior, but they’re not. Trump was openly outrageous in his latest speech when he said, "We won and we have to stop counting the votes because they’re stealing." It’s shameful that the President of the United States says they’re rigging the elections when they are still taking place. It is completely out of order. It's like he's pretending to be both the commentator and the protagonist in his own show. He abused his role and should be thrown out for that alone.

Was he kicked out with this election? No, it's not over. Trump will do whatever he can, he can't lose in his mind, he's what they call a bad loser. He’ll want every vote to be checked and will make everything as difficult as possible. He’ll fight tooth and nail until December 14th and something could go wrong. I hope not because I remember the Al Gore and George Bush election. The Democrats didn't expect the Republicans to play so dirty but now they’re better prepared. I would like to think that Trump is gone. The monster is gone, at least the biggest one of all, I hope. It’s like a horror movie. At the end of the movie you say, “Oh he's gone, the monster is dead,” but then there's a sequel and he comes back (laughs). Even if he admits defeat, I think Trump is crazy enough to run again in 2024.

Meanwhile? He'll be back out there in the world, and I hope they bring every lawsuit against him for all the shit he's done. He will sell the hotels or build them in the midwest, in all the red states, and find a way to turn them into a lower class money-making experiment.

Is the United States on the verge of a civil war? No, I don't see a civil war on the horizon. I think that fear is the result of media hysteria. There will be some confrontations. The point of these elections is that they’re now there for all to see, which makes it difficult for Republicans to declare them a scam. They’ve already repeated it so many times. Trump said it's a rigged election. But his words mean nothing. He’ll say other things, sure, but I don't think they will have the same impact as when he said them for the first time.

Many Western media do not seem to accept that Trump has all this popularity. Why? Trump is an embarrassment. He's the guy who goes to the party and says whatever he wants, says hurtful things. Many of the things that were happening in the government were covered up with polite speeches, while he was very blunt and pissed off a lot of people for his frankness. It ruined the show. He called Washington a swamp. He did the same thing Reagan did. He was right saying Washington was a swamp. It's a swamp but there's no way to fix it. America, like Italy, is stuck in the system.

And how does it get out of the swamp? We have to take money out of politics, which is not possible now because of the Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United. It was an important decision that allowed corporate money to flow into the elections and now companies have the power. For much of the judiciary, corporations in the United States are treated as individuals. They have human rights.

Do you believe that Covid19 has shown the contradictions of our system? It showed that our healthcare system doesn't work nationwide. That’s very clear. Each state deals with it in its own way, and each hospital sets its own parameters. I'm by no means an expert on this, but it looks disorganized. In Europe, as you’re smaller countries, I think you’ve done a pretty good job.

What do you think of the protests in Italy against the lockdown? Personally, I'm afraid of this over-regulation where the government now has the power to shut down everything in a country whenever it wants. It is a form of control that I object to. I think a maturity is needed. The death rate from these infections has dropped significantly. I’m disoriented because Covid, to some extent for me, is a disease like others that have come into our life: SARS, MERS. There have been a number of diseases that are part of the planet, caused by climate change or whatever. We have to accept and absorb them without overreacting. Overdoing it is dangerous. Like America exaggerated in 2001 [after 9/11]. It was madness in this country. We passed the Patriot Act.

Could the pandemic threaten the political and civil foundations on which liberal democracies rest? In this period of my life, I’m giving a lot of importance to peace and war. I think it is a crucial issue. If there is peace and you can keep alliances and have no enemies - or you try to reduce enmity through diplomacy - we will have a much more fluid and harmonious world. This world is not facing a world war; it’s not facing what we have faced in the past. There are no diseases that are wiping out the human race. There are no survival problems. There has been an improvement in education and health around the world. In general, there are negative examples, but the emphasis has been on apocalyptic thinking, on doomsday thinking, and I think it’s important for everyone to realize that we are exaggerating. 

The media are trying to cause a stir. The media thrives on bad news. It’s always been like this, but it has gotten worse because there is more media than we’ve ever had. Bad news sells. And I think a lot of people have stopped following the media. This is what America did. Many Americans don't read and that's why they like Trump, because they don't want to know all the bullshit he does, like the fact that he doesn't pay taxes. So I think if we maintained a world-wide peace system, there is nothing we could not overcome, including climate change. I really believe that and I'm making a documentary about it. If we fight Russia and call them enemies and thugs, like Biden did the other night, and if we're saying more or less the same thing about China, there is no way out. We're spending a fortune on military spending. Trillions of dollars a year to prepare for war, which is not necessary.

What should we prepare for instead? The real war is the war against climate change. We know that perhaps it’s too late and frankly America is wasting time and wasting an enormous amount of money. So we have to transfer the economic resources. I'm worried about Biden because he said so many stupid things about Russia. The only problem I have with him is on foreign policy. I think his domestic policy is progressive, but his foreign policy… I don't know if he will worry immediately about that because he will have other problems on the national level, so it’s difficult to say where he will want to go, but you know what Obama did. Obama eventually invaded more Muslim countries than anyone else and started drone strikes. He overtook Bush with the bombing. And then Trump obviously tried to do more, but without going to [a ground] war. So people say Trump didn't take us to war. No, but it brought us to the brink of war with Korea. He has certainly brought us to the brink of war with Venezuela and now with Iran.

After the fall of the Berlin wall, have we stopped thinking that there is an alternative world? At the time, the West could destabilize the new Russian regime under Yeltsin and they weren't worried about China because it wasn't that powerful yet. We have increased the rivalry with Russia and China, not only because we’ve destabilized Ukraine but because we’ve kept our weapons, our airplanes and our military troops, NATO troops, at the borders of Russia, closer than ever. The medium-range missiles that are in Europe are very dangerous to the status quo in China. We have completely surrounded it and spent a fortune to potentially block it.

Are there no alternatives then? I don't think neoliberalism has worked. There is this idea in America that the American model is the peaceful way, but it’s not because we embargo countries that do not agree with us. Look at, for example, Cuba and Venezuela. It's horrible. You can't bring medicine to Cuba, it's very difficult. We have imposed sanctions on Russia and Iran, and now against China. 

America is not moving towards harmonious world cooperation. We want to be the dominant factor. We don't want to have partners. Bush made this clear in 2000 and it has now been reiterated with Trump. No partners. We only take hostages. Italy is a hostage, a great hostage, because of the huge naval bases we have there. Europe is a hostage. This is a fundamental problem that will grow in the future. It can’t be solved because countries have lost their sovereignty, at least some. Russia and China cannot be told that they must bow to the American model, and you can't tell Iran or North Korea anyway. I want these countries to defend their rights because it is crucial for the freedom of the world that there are alternative ways of living. I can assure you that they are truly sincere about their revolution in Cuba and, unfortunately, they have suffered a lot for that.

On the fake news and social media issue. What do you think of the censorship that some social platforms are implementing? There has been a lot of fake news in America since World War II. It could be said that the whole Cold War, in my opinion, was fake news because we wanted to strengthen the military after the war, so we portrayed the Soviet Union as a lot worse than it was and a lot more threatening. And we keep doing it by saying that the Russians will invade Europe. What the fuck would they want from Europe? They have no intention to do that and Russia is no longer the Soviet Union, it is a market economy. 

The concept of fake news is crazy. What is it? It has existed for centuries. When someone wants to find another enemy, fake news is created. They say who the bad guy is, who did this and did that. The Spartans did it with the Athenians. There’s always fake news, what's new? Now they’re blaming Facebook. It's ridiculous. Facebook should be a free and open source. People should go there and say what they want. I agree that hate speech is not a good thing and should be labeled or banned. But when you start playing with the nuances of censorship, it becomes very dangerous.

I am thinking for example of the case of the journalist Glenn Greenwald who left the newspaper he co-founded, The Intercept, because he was not allowed to publish an article on the alleged scandal involving the Biden family in China and Ukraine. I think Glenn Greenwald was right. I think the story was true. I don't want to say it was the biggest scandal, but it's still a scandal, and Trump had his scandals too and people ignored them, but they were reported in the press.

What do you think of the Assange trial? Obama brought forward the first charges against Assange and his rights were violated in every possible way. The Russiagate case is a fabrication. Assange got the information from an insider on the Democratic National Committee, and the FBI has never investigated. They accused Assange of passing the information to Russia but that's not true, technically it doesn't hold up. 

Trump wanted to pardon him if he came to testify as to who his source was against Hillary Clinton, but Assange didn't make that deal because he's an honest man and doesn't reveal his sources. Those were the WikiLeaks rules of engagement. Assange is hated by Hillary Clinton supporters for damaging her candidacy and her chance of being elected. At the same time, he is hated by Republicans because he was seen as a troublemaker to the military and the United States, a man who revealed secrets, like Snowden. Snowden and Assange are heroes to me because we need to know how our government operates. We need to know what they are doing on our behalf and they are not doing good things. The government is doing bad things, many bad things, which by the way cost us a fortune.

-Fabrizio Rostelli interviews Oliver Stone, translated from Italian, Fanpage Italy, Nov 8 2020 [x]

[theopentable]

What We Might Discover Amidst the Rubble of Our Self-Stories

Genesis 11:1-9, Matthew 5:3

The Ache

Us human beings do something a little funny.

Researchers have shown we have this curious habit of regularly stretching the truth in the stories we tell about our own experiences to those around us.

In often small and subtle ways we embellish or exaggerate certain details. We caught a fish THIS big.

Or maybe we happen to leave some certain details out or minimise some inconvenient truths about ourselves. We’ll hide the stupid or embarrassing things about ourselves.

I had a horror experience at the start of the year that barely a soul know about. I was picking my boy up from school one afternoon. He’d only just started school for the first time. I was organised, got one of the good parks that only goes to the parents who are particularly early to school pick up. The problem was I had an upset tummy for whatever reason which I grossly underestimated. And I mean gross because a horrible accident happened while I was waiting in the car which compromised my ability to pick up my boy from class (I won’t spell it out). I had to call my wife to come and save the day. A horror! This sort of thing can happen on a holiday in Bali, but not in the school car park while you’re waiting to pick up your kid from school.

Clearly, I didn’t want anyone in my sons school knowing about this. Not the parents. Not the staff. It doesn’t even feel good writing this. It’s a story better kept private for obvious enough reasons.

I don’t like the story of me having tummy bugs and having toilet accidents on the way to pick my kid up.

I don’t want to be the guy that makes people cringe with awkwardness or pity.

I like the story about me being a wonderful dad who has his stuff together.

And then there’s the other story about me being a minister of religion, which doesn’t usually include pooing your pants in public. This doesn’t fit great.

So we leave some of our stories on the shelf. We share our stories selectively.

Or we edit them.

Why do we do this? Is it because we’re compulsive liars, agents of manipulation?

The real reason is far more innocent and understandable.

We just want to belong. We yearn for connection. We want to be seen, cared for, and included as a member of a group. If you get separated from the tribe you might not make it.

We care what others think of us. We want them to see us in a particular way. We desperately want to belong.

The Illusion

What happens is that in our yearning for belonging and connection we imagine that our way into this belonging and connection is through our own specialness.

So craft a conceptualised version of ourselves based on stories about who we are and what we do.

You belong when you’re special – when you’re strong, clever, able, beautiful; when you’re specially trained, an especially good cook or musician or whatever.

We become a story – a story designed to make us likeable, special to others.

We might think this Genesis story about people building a tower to make a name for themselves is strange but in reality, this is one of our strongest preoccupations.

We’re obsessed with building something that makes us look impressive, that gives us credibility, that makes us special or even needed. We’re trying to spruik things that give us an “in.”

We desperately want to make a name for ourselves.

And our tower-building, this story-crafting, becomes our strategy for how we’re going to stay connected, how we’re going to belong, how we’re going to be part of the group or tribe.

What happens along the way is that we become attached to our ideas of who we are and defend them as if they are literally true all the time. Our attachment to these ideas forms the structures of our ego.

Steven Hayes and Spencer Smith in their workbook Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (2005) suggest that if you want to discover your own Self-Stories simply spend some time completing these sentences:

I am a person who...

I am a person who does not...

My favourite part about myself is...

My least favourite part about myself is...

I have been wronged because other people have...

I am a person who is bad at...

The problem with our attachment or our investment in our “tower” or our Self-Story is that it means we have to hide the parts of ourselves and our experiences that don’t line up with the stories we have woven - not only from others, but from ourselves as well.

So we lie, often in small ways that we’re hardly aware of, to defend, protect or prove whichever theme of specialness we’re trying to develop.

And when we do this we end up feeling more alienated and alone. It actually gets in the way of the belonging and he connection we desperately wanted in the first place.

Not only that, the more we develop our Self-Stories the more we find ourselves constantly comparing ourselves to others. 

When we’re comparing or competing we’re not connecting. We’re either better than or less than others.

And when we don’t measure up we end up berating ourselves for any time our tower doesn’t soar into the sky as the highest or most impressive.

And ultimately, when we fool people to get them to like us, to include us, to belong, we develop the concern that if you really knew me you wouldn’t like me. If I were an open-book you wouldn’t want to be with me.

The whole process creates distance between ourselves and others when all we really wanted in the first place was to be close to others.

In our attempts to be special we drive ourselves out of the group.

We lose connection. Loneliness isn’t defined by the presence of others; loneliness is defined by the absence of connection with others.

And we lose connection, ultimately, with ourselves. 

Our own fiction gets the in the way of Reality – we block our awareness of who we ultimately are.

The Invitation

But what if we could see beyond the smallness of our Self Story and reconnect with a much deeper sense of belonging that lies inside human consciousness itself?

We’ve been circling around this theme in the first beatitude blessed are the poor in spirit. What does that mean?

For a moment let’s dabble in the area of ontology which is really about the nature of being.

What do we mean when we talk about spirit?

According to the scriptures we’re a unique combination of body, soul and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:16).

Our human spirit, according to the scriptures, is the deepest part of ourselves – even deeper than perception and beyond our senses. The human spirit is our innermost-selves, the part of us that orients us towards relationship with God.

You could think of our spirit like a God-given homing device that is the source of our spiritual intelligence, the part of us that provides us with a God-consciousness.

So all human beings are built with this kind of spiritual sensitivity and receptivity.

Now let’s come back to the witness of the scriptures as we delve even deeper into the implications here. 1 Corinthians 6:17 says,

17 anyone united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

Blessed are even the poor in spirit because your spirit has become one with God’s Spirit.

Which means that the deepest part of who you are is the place where God dwells, where God’s Spirit mingles with our spirit in a bond of union that cannot be broken or divided.

It’s impossible to underestimate how significant this unbreakable union between our own spirit and God’s Spirit truly is.

This union represents our ultimate grounds for a secure sense of self.

Our most true identity is the “us” that is united to God - stamped with God’s gracious choice and commitment towards us that has only to do with whether we will invite God to share in our lives.

This is where we discover the royal blood coursing through our veins. Our beloved identity. Our dignity.

This is where we discover our True Self,

the “us” that is eternal,

the “us” that is defined by God’s closeness and connection,

the “us” that has nothing to do what whether we are good or bad.

Here we are pure being at home in God.

If we can learn to rest in this our worthiness concerns disappear out of the window and we can get on with simply being “us”.

It’s not about whether you are good enough, kind enough, wealthy enough, smart enough, attractive enough, fit enough or any category we wish to cling onto.

Not in an ultimate sense.

They are Self-Stories.

Towers we build to make a name for ourselves.

And towers are notorious for coming crashing down.

Which brings me to my final wondering.

What if we able to hold our Self-Stories a little more loosely and instead we were able enter into a larger awareness of who we are grounded in union with divine love?

What if we could take the healthy energy of our yearning to belong and swing it towards reconnecting with our Ultimate Identity, our True Self, our Transcendent or Eternal self – the you that has always existed from eternity?

What if we came back to those previous questions that help to map out our Self Stories and were able to simply circle the worlds “I am” and let the rest of the sentence go?

What would it be like to simply sit in the words “I am”?

In Exodus 3, fresh from the burning bush, Moses wants a name from God in case the people ask who is sending Moses to them. God replies, “I am who I am.” “Say this to the people of Israel, “I am has sent me to you.”

Who is God? God is “I am.”

Silence: Our Way Into Our Ultimate Identity

We can enter into the deepest truth of who we are simply by practicing silence. Part of what silence offers is an opportunity for your tower of Babel made up of all your various Self-Stories to come crashing down, at least for a bit.

The easiest way to do this is simply to close your eyes, focus on your breathing. Try and still your thoughts for a while.

One way of doing that is simply by repeating a word that helps to centre you.

You might like to use the words “I am.” You can just repeat “I am” inwardly, silently as a simple way of entering into the larger awareness of who you are in Christ.

As you come back to the words “I am” you could be referring to yourself - your more authentic, transcendent and eternal understanding of who you are - or maybe the “I am” your return to over and over is God.

Don’t worry if the distinction isn’t clear as you return to your prayer word.

That’s the gift of silent prayer and meditation – we’re not entirely sure where we end and God begins.

That’s the ultimate truth of who we are in the deepest regions of our being.

[confrontingbabble-on]

““I am 30 years old and I am struggling to find sanity. Between the Christian schools, homeschooling, the Christian group home (indoctrinating work camp) and different churches in different cities, I am a psychological, emotional and spiritual mess.” --A former Evangelical

If a former believer says that Christianity made her depressed, obsessive, or post-traumatic, she is likely to be dismissed as an exaggerator. She might describe panic attacks about the rapture; moods that swung from ecstasy about God’s overwhelming love to suicidal self-loathing about repeated sins; or an obsession with sexual purity.

A symptom like one of these clearly has a religious component, yet many people instinctively blame the victim. They will say that the wounded former believer was prone to anxiety or depression or obsession in the first place—that his Christianity somehow got corrupted by his predisposition to psychological problems. Or they will say that he wasn’t a real Christian. If only he had prayed in faith believing or loved God with all his heart, soul and mind, if only he had really been saved—then he would have experienced the peace that passes all understanding.

But the reality is far more complex. It is true that symptoms like depression or panic attacks most often strike those of us who are vulnerable, perhaps because of genetics or perhaps because situational stressors have worn us down. But certain aspects of Christian beliefs and Christian living also can create those stressors, even setting up multigenerational patterns of abuse, trauma, and self-abuse. Also, over time some religious beliefs can create habitual thought patterns that actually alter brain function, making it difficult for people to heal or grow.

The purveyors of religion insist that their product is so powerful it can transform a life, but somehow, magically, it has no risks. In reality, when a medicine is powerful, it usually has the potential to be toxic, especially in the wrong combination or at the wrong dose. And religion is powerful medicine!

In this discussion, we focus on the variants of Christianity that are based on a literal interpretation of the Bible. These include Evangelical and fundamentalist churches, the Church of Latter Day Saints, and other conservative sects. These groups share the characteristics of requiring conformity for membership, a view that humans need salvation, and a focus on the spiritual world as superior to the natural world. These views are in contrast to liberal, progressive Christian churches with a humanistic viewpoint, a focus on the present, and social justice.

Religion Exploits Normal Human Mental Processes...

To understand the power of religion, it is helpful to understand a bit about the structure of the human mind. Much of our mental activity has little to do with rationality and is utterly inaccessible to the conscious mind. The preferences, intentions and decisions that shape our lives are in turn shaped by memories and associations that can get laid down before we even develop the capacity for rational analysis.

Aspects of cognition like these determine how we go through life, what causes us distress, which goals we pursue and which we abandon, how we respond to failure, how we respond when other people hurt us—and how we respond when we hurt them. Religion derives its power in large part because it shapes these unconscious processes: the frames, metaphors, intuitions and emotions that operate before we even have a chance at conscious thought.

Some Religious Beliefs and Practices are More Harmful Than Others...

When it comes to psychological damage, certain religious beliefs and practices are reliably more toxic than others.

Janet Heimlich is an investigative journalist who has explored religious child maltreatment, which describes abuse and neglect in the service of religious belief. In her book, Breaking their Will,Heimlich identifies three characteristics of religious groups that are particularly prone to harming children. Clinical work with reclaimers, that is, people who are reclaiming their lives and in recovery from toxic religion, suggests that these same qualities put adults at risk, along with a particular set of manipulations found in fundamentalist Christian churches and biblical literalism.

1) Authoritarianism, creates a rigid power hierarchy and demands unquestioning obedience. In major theistic religions, this hierarchy has a god or gods at the top, represented by powerful church leaders who have power over male believers, who in turn have power over females and children. Authoritarian Christian sects often teach that “male headship” is God’s will. Parents may go so far as beating or starving their children on the authority of godly leaders. A book titled, To Train Up a Child,by minister Michael Pearl and his wife Debi, has been found in the homes of three Christian adoptive families who have punished their children to death.

2) Isolation or separatism, is promoted as a means of maintaining spiritual purity. Evangelical Christians warn against being “unequally yoked” with nonbelievers in marriages and even friendships. New converts often are encouraged to pull away from extended family members and old friends, except when there may be opportunities to convert them. Some churches encourage older members to take in young single adults and house them within a godly context until they find spiritually compatible partners, a process known by cult analysts as “shepherding.” Home schoolers and the Christian equivalent of madrassas cut off children from outside sources of information, often teaching rote learning and unquestioning obedience rather than broad curiosity.

3) Fear of sin, hell, a looming “end-times” apocalypse, or amoral heathens binds people to the group, which then provides the only safe escape from the horrifying dangers on the outside. In Evangelical Hell Houses, Halloween is used as an occasion to terrify children and teens about the tortures that await the damned. In the Left Behind book series and movie, the world degenerates into a bloodbath without the stabilizing presence of believers. Since the religious group is the only alternative to these horrors, anything that threatens the group itself—like criticism, taxation, scientific findings, or civil rights regulations—also becomes a target of fear.

Bible Belief Creates an Authoritarian, Isolative, Threat-based Model of Reality...

In Bible-believing Christianity, psychological mind-control mechanisms are coupled with beliefs from the Iron Age, including the belief that women and children are possessions of men, that children who are not hit become spoiled, that each of us is born “utterly depraved”, and that a supernatural being demands unquestioning obedience. In this view, the salvation and righteousness of believers is constantly under threat from outsiders and dark spiritual forces. Consequently, Christians need to separate themselves emotionally, spiritually, and socially from the world.These beliefs are fundamental to their overarching mental framework or “deep frame” as linguist George Lakoff would call it. Small wonder then, that many Christians emerge wounded.

It is important to remember that this mindset permeates to a deep subconscious level. This is a realm of imagery, symbols, metaphor, emotion, instinct, and primary needs. Nature and nurture merge into a template for viewing the world which then filters every experience. The template selectively allows only the information that confirms their model of reality, creating a subjective sense of its veracity.

On the societal scale, humanity has been going through a massive shift for centuries, transitioning from a supernatural view of a world dominated by forces of good and evil to a natural understanding of the universe. The Bible-based Christian population however, might be considered a subset of the general population that is still within the old framework, that is, supernaturalism.

Children are Targeted for Indoctrination Because the Child Mind is Uniquely Vulnerable...

“Here I am, a fifty-one year old college professor, still smarting from the wounds inflicted by the righteous when I was a child. It is a slow, festering wound, one that smarts every day—in some way or another…. I thought I would leave all of that “God loves… God hates…” stuff behind, but not so. Such deep and confusing fear is not easily forgotten. It pops up in my perfectionism, my melancholy mood, the years of being obsessed with finding the assurance of personal salvation.”

Nowhere is the contrast of viewpoints more stark than in the secular and religious understandings of childhood. In the biblical view, a child is not a being that is born with amazing capabilities that will emerge with the right conditions like a beautiful flower in a well-attended garden. Rather, a child is born in sin, weak, ignorant, and rebellious, needing discipline to learn obedience. Independent thinking is dangerous pride.

Because the child’s mind is uniquely susceptible to religious ideas, religious indoctrination particularly targets vulnerable young children. Cognitive development before age seven lacks abstract reasoning. Thinking is magical and primitive, black and white. Also, young humans are wired to obey authority because they are dependent on their caregivers just for survival. Much of their brain growth and development has to happen after birth, which means that children are extremely vulnerable to environmental influences in the first few years when neuronal pathways are formed.

By age five a child’s brain can understand primitive cause-and-effect logic and picture situations that are not present. Children at this have a tenuous grip on reality. They often have imaginary friends; dreams are quite real; and fantasy blurs with the mundane. To a child this age, it is eminently possible that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole and delivers presents if you are good and that 2000 years ago a man died a horrible death because you are naughty. Adam and Eve, Noah’s ark, the Rapture, and hell, all can be quite real. The problem is that many of these teachings are terrifying.

For many years, one conversion technique targeting children and adolescents has been the use of movies about the “End Times.” This means a “Rapture” event, when real Christians are taken up to heaven leaving the earth to “Tribulation,” a terrifying time when an evil Antichrist will reign and the world will descend into anarchy.

When assaulted with such images and ideas at a young age, a child has no chance of emotional self-defense. Christian teachings that sound true when they are embedded in the child’s mind at this tender age can feel true for a lifetime. Even decades later former believers who intellectually reject these ideas can feel intense fear or shame when their unconscious mind is triggered.

Harms Range From Mild to Catastrophic...

One requirement for success as a sincere Christian is to find a way to believe that which would be unbelievable under normal rules of evidence and inquiry. Christianity contains concepts that help to safeguard belief, such as limiting outside information, practicing thought control, and self-denigration; but for some people the emotional numbing and intellectual suicide just isn’t enough. In other words, for a significant number of children in Christian families, the religion just doesn’t “take.” This can trigger guilt, conflict, and ultimately rejection or abandonment.

Others experience the threats and fear too keenly. For them, childhood can be torturous, and they may carry injuries into adulthood.

Still others are able to sincerely devote themselves to the faith as children but confront problems when they mature. They wrestle with factual and moral contradictions in the Bible and the church, or discover surprising alternatives. This can feel confusing and terrifying - like the whole world is falling apart.

Delayed Development and Life Skills...

Many Christian parents seek to insulate their children from “worldly” influences. In the extreme, this can mean not only home schooling, but cutting off media, not allowing non-Christian friends, avoiding secular activities like plays or clubs, and spending time at church instead. Children miss out on crucial information– science, culture, history, reproductive health and more. When they grow older and leave such a sheltered environment, adjusting to the secular world can be like immigrating to a new culture. One of the biggest areas of challenge is delayed social development.

Religious Trauma Syndrome...

Today, in the field of mental health, the only religious diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is “Religious or Spiritual Problem.” This is merely a supplemental code (V Code) to assist in describing an underlying pathology. Unofficially, “scrupulosity,” is the term for obsessive-compulsive symptoms centered around religious themes such as blasphemy, unforgivable sin, and damnation. While each of these diagnoses has a place, neither covers the wide range of harms induced by religion.

Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a new term, coined by Marlene Winell to name a recognizable set of symptoms experienced as a result of prolonged exposure to a toxic religious environment and/or the trauma of leaving the religion. It is akin to Complex PTSD, which is defined as ‘a psychological injury that results from protracted exposure to prolonged social and/or interpersonal trauma with lack or loss of control, disempowerment, and in the context of either captivity or entrapment, i.e. the lack of a viable escape route for the victim’.

Though related to other kinds of chronic trauma, religious trauma is uniquely mind-twisting. The logic of the religion is circular and blames the victim for problems; the system demands deference to spiritual authorities no matter what they do; and the larger society may not identify a problem or intervene as in cases of physical or sexual abuse, even though the same symptoms of depression and anxiety and panic attacks can occur.

RTS, as a diagnosis, is in early stages of investigation, but appears to be a useful descriptor beyond the labels used for various symptoms – depression, anxiety, grief, anger, relationship issues, and others. It is our hope that it will lead to more knowledge, training, and treatment. Like the naming of other disorders such as anorexia or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), the RTS label can help sufferers feel less alone, confused, and self-blaming.

Leaving the Fold...

Breaking out of a restrictive, mind-controlling religion can be liberating: Certain problems end(!), such as trying to twist one’s thinking to believe irrational doctrines, and conforming to repressive codes of behavior. However, for many reclaimers making the break is the most disruptive, difficult upheaval they have ever experienced. Individuals who were most sincere, devout, and dedicated often are the ones most traumatized when their religious world crumbles.

Rejecting a religious model of reality that has been passed on through generations is a major cognitive and emotional disruption. For many reclaimers, it is like a death or divorce. Their ‘relationship’ with God was a central assumption of their lives, and giving it up feels like an enormous loss to be grieved. It can be like losing a lover, a parent, or best friend.

On top of shattered assumptions comes the loss of family and friends. Churches vary with official doctrine about rejection. The Mormon Church, for all the intense focus on “family forever,” is devastating to leave, and the Jehovah Witnesses require families to shun members who are “disfellowshiped.”

The rupture can destroy homes, splitting spouses and alienating parents from children.

For Women, Psychological Costs of Belief Include Subjugation and Self-loathing...

Christianity poses a special set of psychological risks for people who, according to the Iron Age hierarchy found in the Bible are unclean or property, including women. Anecdotal evidence suggests that the combination of denigration and subservience takes a psychological toll on women in Christianity as it does in Islam. Not only do women submit to marital abuse and undesired sexual contact, some tolerate the same toward their children, and men of God sometimes exploit this vulnerability, as in the case of Catholic and Protestant child sexual abuse. But most of the damage is far more subtle: lower self-esteem, less independence and confidence; abandoned dreams and goals

Why Harm Goes Unrecognized...

What is the sum cost of having millions of people holding to a misogynist, authoritarian, fear-based supernatural view of the universe? The consequences far-reaching, even global, but many are hidden, for two reasons.

One is the nature of the trauma itself. Unlike other harm, such as physical beating or sexual abuse, the injury is far from obvious to the victim, who has been taught to self-blame. It’s as if a person black and blue from a caning were to think it was self-inflicted.

The second reason that religious harm goes unrecognized is that Christianity is still the cultural backdrop for the indoctrination. While the larger society may not be fundamentalist, references to God and faith abound. The Bible gets used to swear in witnesses and even the U.S. president. Common phrases are “God willing,” “God bless,” “God helps those that help themselves,” “In God we trust,” and so forth. These lend credence to theistic authority.

Religious trauma is difficult to see because it is camouflaged by the respectability of religion in culture. To date, parents are afforded the right to teach their own children whatever doctrines they like, no matter how heinous, degrading, or mentally unhealthy. Even helping professionals largely perceive Christianity as benign. This will need to change for treatment methods to be developed and people to get help that allows them to truly reclaim their lives.”

https://www.salon.com/2014/11/01/the_sad_twisted_truth_about_conservative_christianitys_effect_on_the_mind_partner/

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN SOFTWARE

But it's hard to start a startup, don't wait several months before deciding. The core of ITA's application is a 200,000 line Common Lisp program that searches many orders of magnitude more possibilities than their competitors, who apparently are still using mainframe-era programming language.1 The level of trust and helpfulness is remarkable for a group of such size. Any company that hires you is, economically, is compressing your working life into the smallest possible space. The creative class flocks to a handful of happy cities, abandoning the rest. I know because I once tried to convince the lukewarm ones. And when business people try to hire hackers, they can't tell which ones are good. Much of the economy's growth is their growth.

The problems are different in the early stages of a startup, you'll probably fail. Design your product to please the users. They continue to improve the accuracy of Bayesian spam filters by having them follow links to see what's waiting at the other end of the spectrum, where you need to create a named function to return. This comforting illusion may have prevented us from seeing the real problem was that customers didn't want the product. That is very hard for a new language? You hear all kinds of reasons why startups fail.2 I don't understand x well enough. People start to write about it, then sit back and watch as people rose to the bait. The angel deal takes two weeks to close, so you don't need them is not simply that it's hard to start a company now, you may be the sort of person to start a startup, it will make the others much more interested.3 Because they can't predict the winners in advance?

Mine too. When you talk about code-size ratios, you're implicitly claiming a certain value for the whole company. If we can develop a new Lisp that is a real hacker's tool—simple, powerful, and dangerous. Angels who only invest occasionally may not themselves know what terms they want.4 If several VCs are interested in response time. Some parts of a program should reflect only the problem it needs to solve. But I don't think you would find those guys using Java Server Pages. The project either gets bogged down, or the result is sterile and wooden: a shopping mall rather than a real downtown, Brasilia rather than Rome, Ada rather than C.

Sometimes I have to pause when I lose my train of thought. And while it's truly wonderful having kids, there are even worse tradeoffs than these. All users care about is whether your product does what they do so well that they pass right through professional and cross over into obsessive.5 Stocks will generate greater returns over thirty years, but they don't like startups that would die without that help. It is a comfortable idea. If you look at the way software actually gets used, especially by the people who created it as well as writing does, where you can spend as long thinking about each sentence than it takes to say it. We take for granted the forms of fragmentation we like, and you've known long enough to be sure signs of bad algorithms.6 All users care about is whether your product does what they want. 8 employee 36 1.

Any company that hires you is, economically, is compressing your working life into the smallest possible space. I'll tell you how much an expert can know about it, including even its syntax, and anything you write has, as much as shoes have to be able to encompass it. Startups are a comparatively new phenomenon. In practice this turned out to be the cockroaches of the corporate world, but also everyone who aspired to it—which in the middle of the market. But that was not how we saw it at the same time as the idea. I think, if one looked, that this would turn out to be very valuable to YC. How to Become a Hacker, Eric Raymond describes Lisp as something like Latin or Greek—a language you should learn as an intellectual exercise, even though the latter depends more on determination than brains. Big companies also lose because they usually only build one of each thing.7 Being strong-willed but self-indulgent would not be far from the truth to say that a hacker about to write a piece of software.

Hard, but doable. In a startup, as in any really bold undertaking, merely deciding to do it. So some founders impose it on themselves when they start the company. Most of them myself included are more comfortable dealing with abstract ideas than with people. You may wonder how much to tell VCs. Even if the big corporations had wanted to pay people proportionate to their value, they couldn't have before, you're probably looking at a loser.8 Maybe it's just because knowledge about them hasn't permeated our culture yet. And this too tended to produce both social and economic cohesion. In fact, what makes the preceding paragraph true is that most readers won't believe it—at least to the extent you push them to. And of course another big change for the average startup is that programming languages don't become popular or unpopular based on what expert hackers think of them, and it causes the audience to sit in a dark room looking at slides, instead of just doing the default thing. Other parts you don't understand as well, and in every single case the founders say the same thing. Someone who is a good cue to problems.9

Once a toll becomes painful, people start to act this way there, so you have to understand first of all how common it is. Even VCs do it.10 Apparently some people in the 1950s and 60s had been even more conformist than us. So they're going to raise $200,000. For us the test of mattering to hackers.11 A couple months ago, you'll definitely seem shopworn. VCs in future rounds. 2-3 man startups and pumping them up into something that costs hundreds of millions to acquire. If you're thinking about your future. If you spent a year on a new feature, they'd be able to generate revenues.12 Having good ideas is most of writing well. And the social effects lasted too.13

Notes

Math is the limit that such tricks initially. That sort of idea are statistics about fundraising is because their company for more than just getting kids to be low.

In a startup. This suggests a good plan for life. I switch in the ordinary sense. But core of the problem.

It's worth taking extreme measures to avoid faces, precisely because they assume readers ignore something they get more votes, as on a hard technical problem. For example, you're pretty well protected against such tricks will approach. Download programs to run an online service.

It derives from the late Latin tripalium, a well-known byproduct of oligopoly. The word boss is derived from Delicious/popular.

Org Worrying that Y Combinator. Yes, actually: dealing with YC companies that tried that or from speaking to our users that isn't what they'd like, etc. Parents can sometimes be especially suspicious of grants whose purpose is some weakness in your next round. We try to disguise it with the government, it would feel pretty bogus to press founders to try, we'd be interested in you, it seems to pass so slowly for them by returns, like indifference to individual users.

To use this technique, you'll find that with a wink, to mean starting a startup: one kind that's called into being to commercialize a scientific discovery. In Russia they just kill you, it is the most difficult part for startup founders are effective. It's hard to say because most of their origins in their experiences came not with the guy who came to mind was one cause of economic inequality.

Bullshit, Princeton University Press, 1965. Philadelphia. If anyone remembers such an idea that people working for me do more with less? Except text editors and compilers.

Except text editors and compilers. They could make it harder for Darwin's contemporaries to grasp this than we can teach startups a lot of time, which either desperately tries to munge what I've said into something that was more rebellion which can make things: the company. Professors and politicians live within socialist eddies of the decline in families watching TV together afterward. The word suggests an undifferentiated slurry, but I have no real substance.

Google Video is badly designed. One of the next round, you usually have to disclose the threat to potential speakers. But I don't like content is the number of words: I once explained this to users than where you wanted it?

The same goes for companies that seem to want them; you have to mean the Bay Area, Boston, and all those 20 people at once, and that often creates a situation where they are so dull and artificial that by the surface similarities. The constraint propagates up as well use the wrong target. Charles Darwin was 22 when he was exaggerating. Ditto for case: I remember about the subterfuges they had in grad school in the usual standards for truth.

As well as problems that have to be delivering results.

Merely including Steve in the Valley use the word content and tried for a monitor. Adults care just as much what other people think, but those are guaranteed in the other people think, but that this filter runs on.

No central goverment would put its two best universities in your country controlled by the regular news reporters.

[ramajmedia]

30 Rock: 10 Episodes That Actually Tackled Deep Issues

Though not the most-watched show on television, 30 Rock is one of the most acclaimed sitcoms around. The show followed Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), the creator of a late-night sketch show who is forced to deal with the show's insane star Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) and her intense boss Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin).

RELATED: 5 Best & 5 Worst Episodes of 30 Rock, According to IMDb

Though the show was never afraid to embrace its weird sense of humor, it also managed to sprinkle in a few real-world issues among all the laughs. Never forgetting its place as a comedy, the show did comment on serious subject matter from time to time. Here are a few deep issues 30 Rock explored.

10 Alcoholism ("Fireworks")

Liz's love life was a constant source of comedy throughout the series. She was often totally inept at romance and would go to extreme lengths to win over her ideal man. That often got her into more trouble than she bargained for.

After following her love interest Floyd into a church, she finds him attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Wanting to get closer, Liz pretends to be an alcoholic too. Though the situation is outlandish, Floyd gets pretty honest about his drinking problem and rightly feels betrayed when he discovers the truth about Liz.

9 America's Political Divide ("There's No I in America")

Given Tina Fey's previous job as head writer for Saturday Night Live, it should come as no surprise that 30 Rock features its share of political comedy. With Jack Donaghy being a hard-nosed Republican, the show has fun with both sides of the political sphere.

RELATED: 10 Jokes From 30 Rock That Have Already Aged Poorly

However, the show also liked to highlight the massive political divide that exists within America. It often commented on the drastically difference in beliefs held by American voters, which have split the country in a very concerning way.

8 The C Word ("The C Word")

Though there are some obvious exaggerations, much of Liz's story as the head of TGS comes from Fey's own experience on Saturday Night Live. She was the first female writer in that show's long history and dealt with a lot as the "boss."

In one particular episode, Liz overhears a colleague who refers to her as a derogatory term. In Fey's book Bossypants, she talks about a similar thing happening to her at SNL. It is one of the ways the show explores the way women are treated when they are in a position of power.

7 Adoption ("A Goon's Deed in a Weary World")

Along with Liz's struggling love life, she has also grappled with her complicated feelings about becoming a mother. Though she is a person very dedicated to her professional life, Liz has at times felt the desire to have children.

Instead of getting pregnant, which is a common sitcom storyline, Liz attempted to adopt a child for quite a while during the series. The show did not shy away from exploring the process as long and difficult, especially for a single parent. In the end, Liz and her husband Criss adopt a boy and a girl.

6 Grief ("My Whole Life Is Thunder")

You would be hard-pressed to find any mainstream show, no matter how silly, that does not deal with death at some point. It is a common storyline on television and has been dealt with humorously before. 30 Rock managed to talk about losing a loved one in a bittersweet way.

RELATED: 10 Shows To Watch If You Like 30 Rock

After losing his mother, Jack decides the best way to deal with his grief is by writing the best eulogy ever. His complicated relationship with his mother is further explored, as well as the notion of burying grief inside one's self. It makes for one of the show's most touching moments.

5 Negative Stereotypes ("The Break-Up")

Tracy Jordan is the show's loose cannon. The unpredictable and outrageous star of TGS makes for some of the wildest moments in the show. However, his ridiculous behavior also starts the discussion on more serious subjects.

In Season 1, Tracy finds himself at odds with Toofer, a black writer on the show who takes offense to Tracy's style of comedy. The episode explores the idea of black comedians pandering to offensive stereotypes to entertain white audiences. It's a controversial subject the show isn't afraid to talk about.

4 Climate Change ("Greenzo")

Climate change is one of the top political subjects being discussed in modern politics. While it is an increasingly concerning issue facing our society, 30 Rock raised awareness without taking things too seriously.

As part of a "green initiative" at NBC, Jack hires a mascot named Greenzo to speak about climate change and what people can do to help the environment. However, the idea of protecting the Earth goes to Greenzo's head and he begins to go on a power trip. With an appearance from Al Gore as well, the episode was able to talk about the issue in a lighthearted way.

3 Islamophobia ("Somebody to Love")

Liz Lemon likes to think of herself as a progressive person, but even she has moments of prejudice. Upon meeting her Middle Eastern neighbor, Liz begins to get unsettling vibes from him. While she wants to believe she wouldn’t judge someone based on where they come from, Liz can’t shake the thought that the man might be a terrorist.

RELATED: 30 Rock: 10 Storylines That Were Never Resolved

Of course, Liz is proven wrong, but not before reporting the man to Homeland Security. The New York-set show touched on these racist perceptions that came about following the 9/11 attacks.

2 Gender Identity ("Game Over")

Nowadays, the subject of gender identity is becoming more widely discussed. While some shows might have made fun of such life choices, 30 Rock touched on them in sensitive and heartwarming ways.

Jenna’s boyfriend Paul is shown to be a cross-dresser, but he explains that it is just something he does to feel comfortable with himself. In another instance, Jack’s private detective Lenny goes undercover as a woman ,which leads to him deciding he would rather live life as a woman going forward. It’s a refreshingly matter-of-fact way to discuss gender identity.

1 Homophobia ("Idiots Are People Two!")

Though it was an outrageous comedy, 30 Rock wasn't completely immune to controversy. Fans may recall that Tracy Morgan got a lot of heat late in the show's run after making some homophobic statements while onstage at a comedy show. While some called for Morgan to be fired, 30 Rock addressed the controversy by incorporating it into the show.

In Season 6, Tracy is criticized for making homophobic remark,s which angers Liz. The show managed to give voice to those who were offended by Morgan's remarks and criticize Morgan himself for making them, all within the show.

NEXT: 30 Rock: Every Season Finale, Ranked

source https://screenrant.com/30-rock-episodes-tackle-serious-deep-issues-tv/

[cryingaggressively]

out of the mouth of babes (2/?)

Rated G, Gen with pre-Deckerstar

"Let's cut the chit-chat. Dad, you should just tell her how you feel about her."

Lucifer gave his daughter a sideways glance, then refocused on the road.

"I mean, I know you're complete shit with human interaction that requires opening up in any way, but don't you think it's time?"

"Quite contrary, I think I'm very much proficient at opening up other people's things." Her father, the brilliant conversationalist. Mature, useful contributions at all times.

"First of all, eww. Secondly, that wasn't even close to a good comeback. And thirdly, stop avoiding the topic  at hand."

Lucifer's grip on the steering wheel tightened, the knuckles of his fingers turning almost white.

"And what topic would that be, child?" It sounded like he was gritting his teeth together.

"That you're in love with Detective Decker and that you should tell her!"

They had reached the grocery store car park. Iris' dad pulled over into a spot and shut the engine off. His hands wandered to his knees, then, as if to steady himself, he grabbed onto the steering wheel again.

"Iris. I'm the Devil. I do not fall in love. With the detective nor with anybody else. That's a preposterous idea," he said flatly, staring straight ahead at the billboard in front of them.

She could not believe this. "Are you serious?"

"Quite serious, I assure you. Of course, I wouldn't mind if she and I did the dirty, but I suspect that is not the direction you were going with this."

His lecherous grin didn't reach his eyes and faded quickly. The fingers of his right hand were now rapidly drumming on the steering wheel.

Iris rubbed her temples, fighting off the headache she felt coming.

"I can't believe you. I love you, Dad, I really do -" at that, her father finally focused on her instead of the sign ahead that proclaimed 'Fresh strawberries, local produce, small price!' - "but that is complete bull and you know it."

The fond expression that had briefly appeared on his face when she'd told him she loved him was gone.

"Every time you call me, and I mean every time, you ask me how I am, how school is, blablabla. And when  I ask about you, the only thing on your mind is Detective Decker.

'Detective Decker is outstanding at her job, Detective Decker is such a kind person, Detective Decker laughed at one of my jokes today, Detective Decker single-handedly saved the world's unicorn population'. "

"I've never said anything like that last part," Lucifer huffed. She chose to ignore him.

"You go on and on about her.  And Dad, that's fine by me. If she is what you want to tell me about when we talk, by all means, do. But don't pretend you don't feel anything for her, " Iris continued.

Her father, for once in his life, looked almost flustered. "I do talk about her often, don't I."

"Yeah, you definitely do." Maybe she was making some headway.

His fingers stopped their incessant rhythm. In a resigned tone, he declared, "It would never work. Presuming she actually returned my..."

His voice trailed off. Ah, no headway then.

"Huge crush? Burning love? Frankly kind of creepy obsession with her person?" Iris supplied.

He snorted. "Now, don't exaggerate, darling."

Iris pulled her mobile out of her pocket, opened her text messages and scrolled down the chat with her dad until she found what she was looking for. A late-night (well, for her) message, months old. She practically shoved the phone at her father's face.

               You, 11:16 pm: went alright, I think I passed. anyway, what's so special about her, you tell me about her pretty often?

                Dad, 11:38 pm: that's good. well, I've never met anyone like the detective. she has the kindest, purest soul I've encountered in  

                                        all of my existence.        

Lucifer looked uncomfortable. "Looking back now, why did I write that? Rather soppy, if you ask me."

Iris pocketed her phone again. "Well, isn't it the truth? Point of pride, right?" Hah. Caught between a rock and a hard place.

Her father made a face as if he suffered from constipation. "Yes."

"Dad, that's something people would write in their wedding vows. The stuff of rom-coms," she said slowly, in a tone like she was explaining something to a toddler.

What she didn't mention was that killing someone to protect the person you love was a sign of pretty epic love. But he didn't need to be reminded of that particular event.

Lucifer opened and closed his hands rhythmically around the steering wheel, his eyes darting from side to side. It was fairly reminiscent of someone having a seizure. After a few moments, he started talking, voice uncertain.

"I, I couldn't just be with her for a longer time while she doesn't believe who I am. That doesn't seem... right."

She tucked her hands between her thighs.  The urge to face-palm was too strong to resist. The solution to his dilemma was so easy, wasn't it?

"Then make her believe. Show her your face. Your therapist got over it and from what you've told me about your lady-love, she's tough. She can handle it."

This whole conversation felt very surreal. To Iris, hardly anything ever seemed surreal. Her father was the goddamned devil. Literally. Her grandfather was God. She'd seen some pretty strange things in her short life.

But she had never seen her usually so suave, confident father so unsure.

Iris had her suspicions about the cause of this.

Her dad was as open with her as he could be, discussing his emotions fairly voluntarily, though peripherally.

By now, she had also gotten incredibly skilled at interpreting the things he said. Discarding his often ludicrous statements and recognizing the real sentiments they masked.

As a consequence, she knew a ton of things he didn't dare tell or show anyone else.

That Amenadiel's hatred against him, reciprocated as it was, did hurt, in a way. How deep Maze' betrayal had cut. That he wished  her grandma's supposed love was real.

The gigantic daddy and mummy issues he had and that he didn't consider himself a particularly good person.

Recently, that he hated himself for killing her uncle. That Dr. Martin's reaction to his face reaffirmed his doubts about himself, made him reconsider any vulnerability he showed.

"Yes, I'm sure she can handle it. The problem is... how she will handle it."

She was correct, then. And sad to boot.

Whatever he might believe, Iris knew her father was no bad person. Inappropriate, inconsiderate of most people's feelings, reckless, childish; sure. She had never known him to  intentionally harm someone who didn't deserve it, though.

How God had ever decided he deserved a life of eternal damnation mystified her.

As someone who had three loving parents, she could not imagine what it felt like to live your life believing that your parents didn't give a shit about you. But she knew that that screwed you up fundamentally. Exhibit A, her father, who believed, deep down, that he didn't deserve to be loved and who expected rejection everywhere he went.

And that made her so, so sad, and not only because those headcases he called parents somehow still had influence over his life and decisions.

But also because she knew from first-hand-experience how wonderful her father could be to the people he loved.

Every time he looked at her that fond, slightly exasperated way, every time he hugged her and kissed her temple, every time he tucked her blanket tighter around her when he thought she was asleep, she felt his love deep in her half-angelic bones.

(He'd even gotten better at telling her directly.)

So, no, Iris herself had never doubted that her father loved her. But she could see what damage it could do if you did. How it made you think that, if your parents didn't love you, no one ever could, because your true self was repulsive.  

No amount of 'I love you's from her had been able to fix that mess yet.

"I know you're afraid -" he started to protest, but she shushed him - "I know you're afraid she'll reject you. And that's a shitty scenario, I'll grant you. But imagine how happy you could be. If it all works out, I mean. And honestly, is it fair to her to let this suggestion of a relationship hang in the air, if you never plan to act on it? Dad, if you really, really can't do this - which, for the record, I know you can - then you have to let her go."

He was deadly still, staring transfixed into her eyes. "I don't want to do that. Let her go."

Iris smiled at him. "There's your answer, then."

His forehead made a rather comical sound on impact with the steering wheel.

"You know, I never imagined I'd say this, but I liked you better when you were smaller," he grumbled.

Iris laughed. "That's what Mum says when I can offer a plausible explanation for why I didn't tidy my room."

"I've always been convinced that your mother is an extraordinarily wise woman."

Oh yes, she was. This impromptu counseling she provided for her dad? Her mum did the same thing for everyone else. It was in her nature, caring and considerate as she was.

In her job as a doctor, that often came in handy. There had never been a complaint filed against her mother, as far as she knew; a rarity in her profession.  

"And right you are. Now, let's talk about the urgent matters at hand. Can we get cocoa puffs?"

Lifting his head, Lucifer smiled for the first time since leaving the station. His hands loosened their grip on the poor, abused steering wheel and slid to his thighs.

"You only love me for the food I provide you with, don't you?"

Iris wrinkled her forehead, returning his look and quipping, "Wow, you really are channeling Mum today."

Removing his keys from the ignition, her father laughed. "I am feeling rather parental today. It's peculiar. I wonder how that came to be."

Satisfied with the result of the talk and relieved her dad wasn't having a meltdown anymore, Iris left the car and skipped ahead to the store entrance.

Turning her head back towards him, she yelled, "Last one in has to do the dishes tonight!"

Apparently, an intercontinental flight and berating your father in a grocery store car par took a lot out of you. By the time Lucifer had packed away the groceries, Iris was asleep in her seat.

He took a good look at her. She seemed hardly changed from the last time he had seen her.

Her hair, inherited from him,  the poor child, was as unruly as ever, curls sticking every which way. But on her, he found, the hairdo seemed rather adorable.

Long lashes almost blocked his view on the dark rings under her eyes. He couldn't tell if they were a very recent addition or if they stemmed from the stress of school finals.

Lucifer was of the opinion that his daughter was rather lovely, but he had found most people thought that way of their offspring, even if the exact opposite was the case.

At that moment, Iris started snoring rather loudly. Right. Lovely.

He got into the Corvette and pulled away from the grocery store, heading home.

It was 3 pm. Quite enough time for Iris to take a nap before the detectives and their spawn showed up. More than enough if he didn't wake her up and just let her sleep till 6.

So when he reached Lux, he handed the valet his keys and instructed him to bring up the bags from the car after parking it. Lucifer then slid his arms under Iris' shoulders and knees, careful not to wake her up, and carried her towards the building.

One of his other employees (affectionately dubbed Man Bun by him and Maze), who'd coincidentally seen the procedure, was holding the door open.

His eyebrows were almost making contact with his hairline, eyes fixed on Iris. Man Bun opened his mouth, then closed it again, obviously struggling with the decision to speak up.

Lucifer could imagine where his thoughts were going, and he didn't appreciate it.

Well, actually, he was glad his employees questioned what went on in his club. As someone who advocated free will, Lucifer was quick to fire people who condoned harassment, and accepting of employees speaking their minds.

Man Bun seemed very much distrustful of a grown man carrying a previously unknown, apparently unconscious teenage girl up his penthouse apartment. And ready to intervene in the interest of said girl, even it could cost him his job. That, he approved of.

What he didn't approve of was the repulsive assumption that he was going to do anything to a defenceless girl. He supposed he could not blame Man Bun, though.

"This is my daughter Iris. Jet lag," he therefore simply said. Man Bun (what was his real name?), walking beside him to the lift, greatly relaxed.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a daughter?" he said casually, the unspoken question standing in the room.

"She lives in England with her mother, most of the time," Lucifer explained. Man Bun pressed the 'up'-button.

"I didn't notice before, but she looks like you," he observed.

"She does, lucky girl. Hit the genetic jackpot," Lucifer replied.

Man Bun grinned.

Thankfully, the lift didn't take much longer to arrive. He really wasn't interested in more of this inane small talk.

He stepped in, Man Bun pressed the penthouse button and left.

Arrived upstairs, Lucifer laid his daughter down on the bed in the guest room, took her shoes off and tucked the duvet around her, then closed the door behind him as silently as possible.

[burstbombbitch]

In-depth Character Sheet

Credit to Sir Ender at this writing forum.

Reblog or repost. DO NOT remove credit.

TAGGED BY: @doublerosa​

TAGGING: hoo boy here it comes. the squad ofc @sturmazing, @musesoiree​ (for dustin, and anyone else but there’s so much dude), @coriignis and @theseasirens​​ for any blog. all my lovely friends @silentisms​. @fireflym​ @seelostsouls​ (u can choose a blog)  @eudaiimonia @gottaxroll @splashysquid

---fuck there’s so many of you to tag jesus please just take it if you see this. i love all of you.

i wrote this like a week ago i’m sorry no obligation to actually do this bc it took me SO LONG pls dont suffer

FULL NAME: Bonbon Charbonneau MEANING: “Charcoal Chocolate”, essentially. Meant to refer to a nasty outside, but sweet inside. NICKNAME: Bon, Bonnie, BB, Bunny. MEANING: No one wants to say her repetitive full name, lmfao. AGE: 20 BIRTHDAY: December 5th. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Sagittarius. GENDER: Cis Female. ALLERGIES: None. SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual / Panromantic. THEME SONG(S): (Octospy) (Normal) (Octoqueen)

APPEARANCE HAIR COLOR: Pastel pink, bordering on white. HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: A pair of super long tentacles, styled in two buns. EYES COLOR: Lilac, with star-shaped pink pupils. HEIGHT: 3′11′‘ | 119.38 cm. WEIGHT: 69 lbs | 31.3 kg. OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Lolita, essentially. Really girly and proper. Occasionally will dress way, way, down, usually during or after a tournament. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Bio-luminescent “freckles” all over her body. SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Lots. Usually winged eyeliner and scarlet eye-shadow. FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Prissy, proper, elegant. SKIN COLOR: Dark brown. BODY TYPE/BUILD: Pear-shaped. Large thighs, strong, long legs, and slightly toned biceps. DEFAULT EXPRESSION: A small, haughty smile, with half-lidded mischievous eyes. POSTURE: Straight, hands usually on hips, Weight leaning to one side. PIERCINGS: None, presently. DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Her voice is very confident despite not being relatively loud. She speaks without filler words or stammers. It has a very regal sound to it, where her words are careful to come out, but dance upon the air with grace. Statements tend to end with a crescendo, regardless of whether or not it is a question. Exaggerates words frequently. Strict pronunciation. Extremely proper. (Voice Claim)

RELATIONSHIPS MOM: Céleste Charbonneau HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: When she’s feeling playful, Céleste is definitely the one she runs to. She gets along with her well, although her mother’s extroverted energy does grow tiresome and she eventually retreats to her own room for solitude. DAD: Clair Charbonneau HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: He is the sensible one of the family. She finds herself closer to him than her sometimes eccentric mother. They spend a lot of time together, reading books and watching movies. He did most of her homeschooling, alongside hiring well-established tutors, before deciding that he would release her into the world. If she knew the decision to deafen her was his, she might be more inclined to be less loving. SIBLINGS: None. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A. CHILDREN: None. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A. PAST LOVER(S): N/A. CURRENT LOVER: N/A. REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: She makes snap decisions on whether or not the person is worth her time. By default, she’s very smug and arrogant, finding them to be more of a thing to play with than someone to converse with. She’s not above manhandling someone to make them more amusing to her. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: She attempts to take charge and do all of the work to get out of the circumstance of having to work with anyone. When she must cooperate, though, she is relatively tolerable, for she doesn’t want to screw someone else (unless it benefits her) over. LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Shy, anxious. She doesn’t like reminders of herself. She’ll goad them to make them do something. She definitely tries to invoke some sort of other trait out of them. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Her parents were both extremely overprotective of her, a trait she fails to displace when she has children. They were very lenient with her as well, besides the whole ruining her early life, making her more prone to gently guiding her children without imposing her will onto them.

PERSONALITY ...WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: Confident. Placid. Elegant. ...AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Excitable. Bubbly. Childish. ...AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Sarcastic. Sassy. Snide. FAVORITE COLOR: Lilac. FAVORITE FOOD: Tea and cream-filled pastries! FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats, spiders. FAVORITE ELEMENT: Air. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Grey. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Eggs LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Shark HOBBIES: Singing, dancing, shopping, and video gaming. USUAL MOOD: Relaxed. Calm. DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Nope. She drinks very, very infrequently. DARK VERSION OF SELF: gestures at the octospy verse LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: gestures at inkling idol verse HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: She holds herself relatively seriously. CLASS IN AN RPG: Cleric, Archer, Mage. BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Kinda, yeah. (IN)DEPENDENT: Independent. VULNERABILITY: Hearing problems. Mentions of war. Divulged secrets. OPINION ON SWEARING: Abominable. DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Daredevil. MUSIC TYPE: She’s fond of so many genres, provided it’s not ear-shattering. She can find the best in all types of music. MOVIE TYPE: So bad, it’s good / Romance / Thriller BOOK TYPE: Adventure / Mystery / Romance COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: About 65 F. SLEEPING PATTERN: Sleeps about 8-10 hours a day. CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Obsessively neat. DESIRED PET: Either a tarantula or a kitten. HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Sleeping, or reading books. BIGGEST SECRET: Her song and dance are fueled by her synaesthesia. HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Her grandmother, Nia Di Napoli. WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: Cat FEARS: Silence, large bodies of water, loneliness. COMFORTS: Sensory objects, tactility, sleeping.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO… DANGER: Face it head on. She’s very cocksure. SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Tease and torment. She’d egg them on and flirt with them, knowing she’s just grinding them beneath her heel. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Lighting up! Squealing! Storm of kisses! Lots of touching. God knows her voice is going to reach killer wail levels of painful pitch. DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Wailing, violence, shutting down as a whole. Non-stop aggression. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Continue trying, nonstop---literally. Someone’s gonna have to intervene. INJURY: Grin and bear it. SOMETHING IRRESISTIBLY CUTE: Lip biting. Grabby hands. Lighting up, again. Bouncing on her heels.

HISTORY BIOGRAPHY: Born a synaesthetic, Lady Charbonneau’s family fretted for her sensitive hearing. As a result, they silenced and removed her from the world, raising her as if she had been deaf from birth. Their only child remained a mystery to most of Inkopolis, locked behind closed doors for her own “safety”. Her close friend, Nia Di Napoli, frequently removed the headphones that muted everything, helping her solidify the courage to defy their decision while giving her the opportunity to adapt to sounds she had yet to experience. 

This habit of babying her remained throughout her adolescence. Despite training efficiently in self-defense, and constant attempts at proving herself worthy of respect, her family reciprocated with buying out her Turf War matches and downplaying her ability. Finding that out coaxed her into sneaking into the Adult Ranked Matches late at Inkopolis Tower, where they couldn’t bribe people into losing. Of course, dealing with high ranked squids while being only C- yourself grew tiresome, but persistence eventually brought her to S+ at age 17.

Desperate to receive some fragment of respect, Bonbon put herself up for drafting come her eighteenth birthday. The Charbonneau family has a long-standing history of war, benefiting troops through monetary and physical means. One of the elders, Bourbon Charbonneau, fought valiantly as a captain in the Great Turf War hundreds of years ago. Keeping up the legacy, she thought, was her only chance of being her own person.

While every decision has seemingly furthered her depression, she continues on a path already tread in the hopes that such a safe route will bring about some sort of reward, even if it isn’t bountiful. Another option for her, her ability to sing entrancing songs, lies in wait, hoping to be utilized.

FIRST APPEARANCE: A mysterious, minuscule pinkling took a tournament by storm without even giving a word as to her age, rank, or background... and donated the proceeds to charity?

KNOWLEDGE LANGUAGES: Inkling, Sign Language, Human French, Written Octarian, Learning Hylian. SCHOOLING LEVEL: College student, essentially. FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Linguistics and Theatre INTERESTED CAREERS: She wishes she knew. She’d love to actually sing, though. EXPERTISE: Theatre, Song and Dance. CHEMISTRY: A MATH: A LANGUAGE: A+ GEOGRAPHY: B POLITICS/LAW: B- COOKING: F, until she pays off the teacher. MECHANICS: C BOTANY (FLOWERS): A MYTHOLOGY: A DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): A+++

READING LEVEL: College graduate. HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Always have a plan!

ROMANCE . DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Definitely. She’s very needy and you’ll know it immediately. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): While very avoidant when crushing, she’s super clingy and affectionate when dating. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Ladylike with a dash of klutzy. She shows her real side if she really trusts her partner, so they have to deal with a near 180 of the persona she shows on a daily basis. GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Jump into! She puts all her apples in one basket. PROTECTIVE: Extremely. She’s very feral and primitive at times. ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Her lover has to be her best friend. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: She actively stalks her partner’s wishlists or things they see as they cruise around together, and has them anonymously delivered, as it she wasn’t obvious. If she hasn’t a clue, she’ll start sending dorky things she thinks are nice to try to gauge their interest. TYPE OF KISSER: She steals small kisses, before elongating them with lots of lip tugging. Definitely fond of it. The type to really get into it. DO THEY WANT KIDS: Not really, but can be easily persuaded. DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: Yes. MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: She has a tendency to make bad ones, but hopefully her partner corrects that. :^) Or at least doesn’t let her. ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Yes, albeit cheesy and dorky deep down... HOW ARE THEY IN BED: She prefers to be dominant, and that’s all I’ll say. GET JEALOUS EASY: Not if she is trusting of her partner, but she is definitely very anxious and wonders if she’s good enough frequently. WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: Uh, no. MARRY FOR MONEY: click this. FAVORITE SEX POSITION: uh WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: A nice long exploration through untraveled territory---just the two of them. Lots of hand-holding, kisses, and cuddles. Good food would definitely seal the deal as the best date ever. OPINION ON SEX: She’s yet to form one, although she’s occasionally thirsty. It doesn’t really come to her often. As long as it’s consensual, she’s down for anything.

[dorothydelgadillo]

30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30 (About Life & Marketing)

As a marketer, I’m sure you’ve heard it at some point or another: people ages 18-34 are the “key demographic.”

They’re the movers-and-shakers. The ones in-the-know. The ones with money to spend. They’re the ones you want to know and love your brand, let alone buy from it.

Well, friends, today is my 30th birthday, my golden birthday, in fact...and, while my lovely brand teammates are going to roll their eyes and hate me for saying this, that means my remaining days of relevance are limited.

Marketing By Nature

Ok, yes, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but after three decades in this skin, I’ve learned that kind of drama is just a part of my brand.

via GIPHY

I’ve also learned many other unexpected lessons that have proven to be useful in both my personal life and my life as a marketer and content professional.

You see, I’ve only been in this industry professionally for about nine years, but, in that time, I’ve discovered many parallels between being a good marketer and, honestly, just being a good person.

In a nutshell, both come down to:

Being able to understand and communicate with other people well

Accepting your authentic self

If you can master these areas, you’ll likely not only be a happier person but a happier marketer -- but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’ve spent the past four years of my work life (and frankly some pretty formidable years of my twenties) helping my teammates at IMPACT, contributors, and sponsors, learn how to better hone their voices and share their stories.

I’ve always encouraged them to share lessons big and small from their experiences, but I haven’t always had the chance to practice what I preach.

So, indulge me for a few minutes.

Taking a page out of Taylor Swift’s book (minus those chapters about Kanye and John Mayer), here are 30 lessons I learned about marketing and life before turning 30. Some of these may seem obvious or insignificant, but that doesn’t make them any less true or worth repeating.

1. Pretty Doesn’t Mean Perfect.

Whether you’re talking fashion or marketing creative, style does not top function. A design needs to always solve a problem and achieve the goal you set for it.

Just like an ugly hat can still keep your head warm, an ugly website or graphic can still deliver results. Just look at Craig’s List or Reddit. They may not be the most impressive or sophisticated designs, but no one can argue with their effectiveness.

2. Don’t Do It Just Because It’s Trendy.

This is another lesson about personal style I’ve learned over the years, but it rings undeniably true for marketers as well.

Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Every person and business is different circumstances, needs, and goals to consider. So, before you start a new strategy, tool, (or that pair of skinny jeans, for that matter), consider what you’re trying to achieve and your audience.

If the trend won’t move you towards achieving what you want (or make you look your best), skip it.

3. People Don’t Always Know What They Want.

Despite what they may think, people don’t always know what they truly want. They’ll claim one thing, then do another, and that’s no different when it comes to buying behavior.

Time and time again, we’ve surveyed people to ask them their preferences, only to see their behavior not echo it. There are so many unconscious things that motivate us as people, especially in the heat of a moment.

That being said, trust actions and user testing. Action speaks louder than words.

4. But You Still Need to Listen.

There are times to use hard data and cater to people’s unconscious behavior and there are times to take their word.

Simply put, don’t manipulate people.

In many instances, it’s better to give people what they know they want, so they know you are listening and care about what they think. People just want to be heard. Showing they were builds trust and, in turn, a better relationship.

That being said…

5. Don’t Take Trust for Granted.

Once you’ve earned someone’s trust, don’t abuse it. Without trust, no one will want to work, buy, or likely even be around you.

It’s that simple.

6. Nothing Lasts Forever.

This is something I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with as I lost some loved ones in recent years, but professionally, it’s just a fact.

IMPACT Partner, keynote speaker, author, and all-around amazing guy, Marcus Sheridan preaches that when it comes to content and marketing, the principles behind why we do things will never change, but the how (tools, practices, etc.) always will.

That being said, no content you create is likely ever truly evergreen. It will always need to be updated with new data, examples, etc to showcase how things are done right now. Same goes for your website.

7. Stand for Something.

Modern buyers gravitate towards brands that stand for a cause and share the same values and concerns they do. It helps guide their choices and makes them feel a little bit better about their purchase, knowing they supported a good cause.

Strong values and knowing what you believe obviously also guide you in your personal life. They can help you find the right job or friends and maybe even help them find you.

8. Diversity & Inclusion Are Strengths.

What do I stand for? More than anything, diversity, inclusion, and representation. In most areas of my life, I have always been a minority, an outlier even… but I’ve always tried to remember that this isn’t a bad thing.

Diversity and inclusion whether it is in gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or otherwise, are always a good idea.

They bring more perspectives and ideas to the table and better enable you to reach a wider audience. They make people feel welcome.

Many may not want this (as I experience first hand) or even shy away from addressing it, but as marketers and human beings, our goal is to connect with other people. The best way to do that is by making them feel like they belong.

9. Loyalty Is Priceless.

Finding people who will stand by you or your brand through anything are rare. When you do, treasure them and treat them right.

10. It’s OK to Show Your Flaws.

We live in a society where everything and everyone is so airbrushed, finding things that aren’t is a breath of fresh air.

It’s a sign that you’re genuine and honest; that you’re not trying to trick anyone into believing something that isn’t true.

This transparency, again, builds trust and, frankly, makes you more human and likable. Don’t be afraid to show your real face to everyone you meet.

11. Always Admit When You’re Wrong.

In a similar vein to showing flaws, if you’re wrong or make a mistake, own it. Trying to hide a shortcoming will only make you look worse in the eyes of those around you.

12. Start With What You Have.

If the plastic bag of plastic bags in my work locker doesn’t tell you, I’m big on resourcefulness. Why waste money and time when you have something you can reuse?

The same can be said about content. Thinking about trying video or Pinterest? Don’t start from scratch. Take some of your best performing existing content and reimage it for the medium and audience.

13. Don’t Just Be a Yes (Wo)Man.

As William Wrigley Jr. once said, if two men agree, one of them is unnecessary.

In other words, differing opinions and points of view are important. Don’t be afraid to disagree if you have practical reasons to. Speak up!

14. Be Honest.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Lying or knowingly misspeaking about what you believe or want will never result in a good outcome long term.

15. Technology Isn’t Foolproof.

My entire job, like many of yours I’m sure, lies behind a computer screen. And while technology can make life significantly easier and more convenient, it isn’t foolproof.

When the internet is down, it’s like all the cages were left open at the zoo around here! Plan accordingly.

16. Meeting People In Person Still Matters.

Similarly, meeting people virtually is easier than ever thanks to technology, but it still can’t top gathering in person.

The experience of shaking someone’s hand, giving them a hug, or being able to share space with them is a whole different type of bonding. So, go to events. If you work remotely, visit your office. This real-life face time is unmatched.

17. There’s a Time to Be Clever And There’s a Time to Be Clear.

I’m a writer; wordplay is my jam -- but you need to know when it is appropriate.

When it comes to communication, never sacrifice the clarity of your message just to sound clever. It doesn’t matter how great what you’re saying is if no one can understand it.

18. The Law of Diminishing Returns Is Real.

A few years ago, we increased our content output expecting increased traffic, but we didn’t see it. Our audience, in fact, told us they couldn’t keep up and numbers plateaued and even dropped.  

The fact is there are limits to everything. You can only eat so many cookies. You can only walk so many miles. Markets get saturated. People reach critical mass with how much content they’re able to consume and you need to keep your eye on this.

That said...

19. Quality Always Tops Quantity.

Would you rather be in a room with 10 strangers or in a room with two of your best friends? How about publishing 10 terrible articles that get lost in cyberspace or two that you’re proud of and Google ranks on the first page?

In almost every situation, quality is more important than quantity.

20. Free Doesn’t Mean Good.

Don’t get me wrong -- I’m the queen of freebies, but don’t underestimate your audience and think they’ll fill out a form or take anything you give them just because it’s free.

People still want and demand quality, and you should too.

21. Emotion Doesn't Make You Weak.

I was never an emotional person until a little over three years ago. I had never even cried at a movie, but my world came crashing down when my cousin passed away unexpectedly and the pain seeped into every aspect of my life.

I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life and in front of colleagues I’d never want to see my weakness -- but that’s the thing. Over time, I’ve begun to learn it’s not a weakness.

Emotion is human.

Being able to show, capture, understand, and express real emotion in way that can touch others is a powerful skill as a marketer and a person. In both cases, it makes people feel closer to you; it helps bond them to you and it shows them you understand them on a deeper level.

So...

22. It's OK to Get Personal.

Again, people want to be around and do business with other people. When you get personal and are vulnerable about your experiences, you are more endearing.

23. Forgive Yourself for “Failing.”

Whether it was a relationship or a campaign gone bust, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Actually, things almost never go as planned. Dust yourself off and try again. You only failed if you didn’t learn anything from it.

24. Don’t Propose After the First Date.

Speaking of failed relationships, respect the natural progression of human interaction whether it be professional or personal.

Just like you wouldn’t propose after a first date when someone is just getting to know you, don’t go in for the hard sell after a first meeting.

In neither of these situations is the person likely looking to seal the deal, so slow it down.

25. Create Good Memories.

People love to talk about “the good times.” As a brand, you should be creating good memories like these for your buyers and as a person, do it for your soul.

26. You Can’t Make Everyone Happy.

There’s always going to be a critic or someone who disagrees with what you do or say so don’t set out to try to make everyone happy. Focus on those who actually matter -- your audience; your loved ones.

27. Be Yourself.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but it also means that you’re just one of many. Embrace what makes you or your brand unique and different or you’ll get lost in the crowd.

Plus, people can always sense when you’re trying to be something you’re not and nothing is a bigger turn-off.

28. Take Risks.

Risks can be scary, but only because they can be life-changing. So, take the leap. I’m not saying be reckless, but if an opportunity or idea won’t destroy everything you’ve worked for, give it a shot.

If it doesn’t work out, remember #23.

29. Discomfort Is Good.

If a situation makes you uncomfortable, it’s likely just because it’s something you’ve never experienced before. It’s an opportunity to grow and discover. Embrace it.

30. You Never Stop Learning.

Like many of you, when I was growing up, 30 seemed ancient.

When I hit that age, I would be an old woman. I would have seen everything, experienced everything, and learned everything. I would have everything figure out -- but that, obviously, was absurd.

Whether it comes to work or life, there is always something new to be uncovered and improved.

Both digital marketing and life are always changing and I certainly do not know nearly everything about either of them. But I do know that as I keep learning and evolving in both arenas, I will be excited and honored to share my lessons with all of you.

Here’s to officially being thirty, wordy, and thriving.

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/30-things-i-learned-before-turning-30-about-life-marketing

[randomrichards]

Interesting Movies Coming in January 2019

So, begins another year showcasing movies that may fly over the radar.

January 11:

ASHES IN THE SNOW

Inspired by true events, Ashes in the Snow tells the story of a teenage girl used art to break the silence on an atrocity committed by the Soviet Union.

Set in 1941, the film examines Stalin’s brutal dismantling of the Baltic Region which deported many Lithuanians to Siberia. Many of them were convicted of treason and sentenced to a lifetime of labour. Among them is a 16-year-old girl named Lina (Bel Powley) and her family. But as she fights for survival, she finds her voice through art. In time she’s will use her art to expose what happened to her and her family.

I imagine this film will fall out of many people’s radar, shown only in art house theatres and film festivals. It’s a shame because this film shows a lot of potential in the trailer with an interesting real-life story. It sounds like a compelling David and Goliath story sure to gain acclaim. Thankfully, I have this blog to attract attention to films like this.

THE UPSIDE

Based on the French film The Intouchables, (which was inspired by a real-life story), The Upside tells the story of a bond between a rich quadriplegic man and an ex-con who assists him.

For the sake of his son, Dell (Kevin Hart) wants to get his life back together. To do that, he needs to get a job, or at least 3 signatures proving he’s interviewed for jobs or his parole is kaput. Meanwhile, billionaire Phillip (Bryan Cranston) needs assistance since he’s paralyzed from the neck down and he can’t stand the patronizing attitudes of home care applicants (much to his wife’s (Nicole Kidman) chagrin). Then Dell barges in to the interview and impresses Philip with his abrasive demeanor. So, Dell’s hired.

Now Dell gets to bask in the high life living in the Penthouse with Philip. Of course, there is the problem of Phillip having no experience taking care of a person with disabilities. Hell, he crosses his legs at the sight of a catheter. But what Philip likes about him is the fact Dell doesn’t pity him. As they work, they form a bond through their no-BS attitudes.

It’s common for Hollywood to remake foreign language films. What’s weird about this one is that the original is based on a true story and they change the location from France to America. It feels like a disservice toward the people who inspired these films. One could argue this is a way to garner an audience who don’t watch movies with subtitles, but that feels incredibly unfair to the original movie. Those people missed a fantastic performance by Omar Sy. But I digress.

You got some great actors in this film. You can’t go wrong with Cranston, who has delivered on Nicole Kidman, who is seeing a reemergence of her career with an Oscar Nomination (Lion), Emmy Win (Big Little Lies) and that badass fight scene in the recent box office hit Aquaman. But the one that stands out the most was Kevin Hart. He has sparked a major fanbase with an over the top, self-deprecating comedy style. He’s applied the same style in his movies, resulting in few hits (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle) and many misses (Think Like a Man). Though there is a hint of his exaggerated acting, it will be interesting to see him give a more grounded performance. Unfortunately, he’s got big shoes to fill with Omar Sy’s award winning performance in the previous film.

There is a danger of this being sappy and there is a hint of that. But I like to give films like this a chance.

January 18:

GIRL

All the way from Belgium comes this coming of age tale of a transgender teenage girl struggling to achieve her dream of becoming a ballet dancer.

We follow Lara (Victor Polster) through an 8-week trial period at a prestigious Ballet Academy. She’s got a bit of a ways to go before her skills are up to par with the Academy’s standards. At the same time, she’s counting the day before her hormone treatment. But can she handle the stress of the Academy?

This film was a hit at the Cannes film festival and it has recently been nominated at the Golden Globe Awards. While the film has received critical praise, there is still controversy over the casting of a ci-gender boy to play a transgender girl. Yes, it’s great to see transgender girls getting representation and Polster disappears into the character, but it still doesn’t change the fact that transgender actors can’t seem to get role playing transgender character. Writer/Director Lukas Dhont clearly means well, but this matter’s much more complicated. It’s a shame because this seems like a compelling movie.

Can you still enjoy this movie despite this controversy? It’s going to be complicated.

GLASS

Never in my life would I have ever imagined a Shyamalan Cinematic universe. Of course, it didn’t help that his films have been more flops than hit. But he took us by surprise when that Bruce Willis cameo revealed Split to be an indirect sequel to his underrated hit Unbreakable. And now both films collide in Glass.

After 19 years, we finally find out what’s happened to the literally unbreakable David Dunn (Bruce Willis). After years using his super strength, invincibility and psychic visions for the greater good, he finds himself confined to a mental institution. He finds himself face to face with Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), his comic book obsessed arch nemesis who goes by the name Mr. Glass. Also, there is Kevin Wendell Crumb (James McAvoy), a disturbed man with 23 personality who imprisons and kills teenage girls. With them altogether, Dr. Ellie Staple (Sarah Paulson) hopes to cure them of their “delusions.” Mr. Glass seizes this opportunity for a Supervillain team up with Kevin Wendell Crumb. So, he unleashes The Beast, Kevin’s animalistic personality with super strength and an aggressive thirst for blood. With these two out of the hospital and reigning terror on the world, it’s up to David to stop them.

This film also sees Anya Taylor-Joy reprise her role as Casey, the teenage girl who brought down Kevin in Split.

M. Night Shyamalan is quite a fascinating figure. He came out of nowhere and took everyone by surprise with The Sixth Sense. The fact he was able to stick himself into a zeitgeist in his first movie alone is a near miracle. But with the praise came high expectations. Though Unbreakable and Signs earned acclaim, none of Shyamalan’s films were of the same level. And then there were the flops. Oooh the flops. He released so many bad movies that he became a self-parody.

There were a few factors contributing to Shyamalan’s fall from grace. I mentioned the expectations, which puts a lot of pressure on any new director. Eventually, the fame went to Shyamalan’s head, giving him a misplaced sense of self-importance.  That self-importance seeped into his films, building a pretensions tone. He also relied a bit too much on quirkiness, resulting in unintentionally hilarious moments. It didn’t help that pop culture only associated him with plot twists, which kind of stuck him in a corner.

But then two factors turned his career around. First was Wayward Pines, a Twin Peaks-like series where Shyamalan’s emphasis on quirks became an advantage. In that same year, he stepped out of his comfort zone with The Visit, a found footage horror movie that got Shyamalan his groove back. And the deal was sealed with Split. Through these films, Shyamalan seemed to have let go of his pretentiousness and had fun with them. I hope he keeps this up for his sake.

January 25

SERENITY

In this thriller, Matthew McConaughey plays fishing boat captain Baker Dill. He was enjoying a quiet, simple life hosting tours off the tropical Plymouth Island, when along comes his ex-wife Karen (Anne Hathaway). She’s married to a violent man (Jason Clarke) and she wants him gone. So, she wants Dill to take him on a fishing excursion where Dill can leave him swimming with the fishes. The question is, will he go through with it.

This premise plays a lot like a film noir, from the rugged protagonist facing the past he’s trying to forget to the femme fatale leading him down a dark path. I imagine Baker Dill will confront many dilemmas that will reveal his true self.  

There’s a notable growth of publicity for this movie. But publicity doesn’t equal quality. It could turn out to be a surprise sleeper hit like Hell or High Water or forgettable flop. Writer/director Steven Knight has gone either way, having written critical darlings like Dirty Pretty Things and hits like the series Peaky Blinders. He’s also wrote the flop The Girl in the Spider’s Web and the forgettable series Taboo. So, this film could go either way.

January 30

THE WILD PEAR TREE

From the man behind the Palme D’or winning Winter Sleep comes another tale of an artist secluding himself in a remote location.

Young writer Sinan (Dogu Demirkol) returns to his home after graduating from college. He has a bit of trouble fitting in to the rural living of this small village while he writes. But he has bigger problems with his father Idris (Murat Cemcir) debts growing out of control. Now the collectors are targeting Idris through his son. This also leaves him with little money to publish his stories.

It’s going to be a huge challenge to get butts in seats for this movie. Not only is this film entirely in Turkish, but it’s also three hours long. Theatres usually prefer the movies to be under two hours so they can be shown more and sell more tickets. Still, Nuri Bilge Ceylan had already gained huge acclaim for the aforementioned Winter Sleep, a tale of a former actor who runs a remote hotel while dealing with his family. This film seems to be garnering similar acclaim.

It’s in moments like these that I wished I had taken the time to watch his previous movies. I would have had a better opportunity to discuss what makes Ceylan’s films so special to its audiences. But I didn’t and that ship has sailed. 

[marcusssanderson]

50 Mahatma Gandhi Quotes On Living with Peace and Love

Mahatma Gandhi Quotes About Living Your Best Life

Our latest collection of inspirational Mahatma Gandhi quotes on Everyday Power Blog!

Gandhi is a man that needs no introduction. A man that changed a nation and changed the world with his compassion, vision, tolerance, and patience. Mahatma Gandhi is an undying reminder of how one person can inspire a community, a nation, and the world.

Gandhi stood for peace, equality and non-violent protest and was even an inspiration for Martin Luther King, Jr. Gandhi is proof that one man can make massive changes, inspire a world and preserve their character throughout the journey.

Born on 2nd October 1869, in North West India, Gandhi was an activist, lawyer, politician, and writer. His upbringing was infused with the Jain pacifist teachings of mutual tolerance, non-injury to living beings and vegetarianism. He was assassinated on 30 January 1948, when he was 78 years old.

First, let’s look at some life lessons from Gandhi, the quotes come after.

  Mahatma Gandhi Life Lessons

  1.) Lead A Simple Life.

Gandhi felt that we shouldn’t be tempted by glamorous lifestyles and that the most meaningful lives are simple and purposeful. Gandhi believed that when life is minimal, we can effectively focus on self-improvement.

2.) Be Selfless

Gandhi believed that we should focus more on positive impact and kindness, instead of personal achievement and personal gain. He believed everyone can do small things to improve the life of their neighbors.

3.) Always Be Yourself

Gandhi led by example and refused to dress any other way than what he thought was right for him and his mission. He encouraged other people to do the same thing. Be who you are at all costs.

4.) Lead By Example

Before we can change the world, we must change ourselves. Gandhi believed that before we even consider changing the world, we commit ourselves to personal improvement. Only then, we will know, understand and appreciate what it takes to make meaningful change.

5.) The Mind Will Always Be Stronger Than Your Body

Gandhi believed that the person with the strongest mind wins. The person who can control their emotions, their fear, their desire for revenge and violence, will win every single time. Gandhi challenged ALL people to develop their courage and compassion during times of battle.

  Mahatma Gandhi Quotes about love and life

1.) “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Mahatma Gandhi

2.) “There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi

3.) “Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi Quotes about forgiveness

4.) “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Great Gandhi quotes about happiness

5.) “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Most famous Mahatma Gandhi quote

6.) “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” –Mahatma Gandhi

7.) “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”- Mahatma Gandhi

8.) “There goes my people. I must follow them, for I am their leader.” – Mahatma Gandhi

9.) “First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Best Gandhi quotes about peace

  10.) “There is no ‘way to peace,’ there is only peace.” – Mahatma Gandhi

11.) “Poverty is the worst form of violence.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  12.) “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  Mahatma Gandhi Quotes

  13.) “Seek not greater wealth, but simpler pleasure; not higher fortune, but deeper felicity.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  14.) “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  More Gandhi quotes about love and life

  15.) “I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  16.) “There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  17.) “Don’t talk about it. The rose doesn’t have to propagate its perfume. It just gives it forth, and people are drawn to it. Live it, and people will come to see the source of your power.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  18.) “A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  19.) “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  20.) “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  21.) “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  Quotes by Gandhi  about suffering

  22.) “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  23.) “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  24.) “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  25.) “Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  26.) “If we are to reach real peace in the world, we shall have to begin with the children.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  Quotes of Mahatma Gandhi about faith

  27.) “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  28.) “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  29.) “There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  30.) “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”

  Quotes by Mahatma Gandhi about positive thoughts

  31.) “Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  32.) “It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  33.) “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  34.) “I came to the conclusion long ago that all religions were true and also that all had some error in them, and while I hold by my own religion, I should hold other religions as dear as Hinduism. So we can only pray, if we were Hindus, not that a Christian should become a Hindu; but our innermost prayer should be that a Hindu should become a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim, and a Christian a better Christian.”- Mahatma Gandhi

  Mahatma Gandhi Quotes about love and life

  35.) “I must say that, beyond occasionally exposing me to laughter, my constitutional shyness has been no dis-advantage whatever. In fact,I can see that on the contrary, it has been all to my advantage. My hesitancy in speech, which was once an annoyance, is now a pleasure. Its greatest benefit has been that it has taught me the economy of words.

I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts. And I can now give myself the certificate that a thoughtless word hardly ever escapes my tongue or pen. I do not recollect ever having had to regret anything in my speech or writing. I have thus been spared many a mishap and waste of time. Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of a votary of truth. Proneness to exaggerate, to suppress or modify the truth, wittingly or unwittingly, is a natural weakness of man, and silence is necessary in order to surmount it.

A man of few words will rarely be thoughtless in his speech; he will measure every word. We find so many people impatient to talk. There is no chairman of a meeting who is not pestered with notes for permission to speak. And whenever the permission is given the speaker generally exceeds the time-limit, asks for more time, and keeps on talking without permission. All this talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time. My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler. It has allowed me to grow. It has helped me in my discernment of truth.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  36.) Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. – Mahatma Gandhi

  37.) A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. – Mahatma Gandhi

  38.) The good man is the friend of all living things. – Mahatma Gandhi

  39.) “Relationships are based on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance and appreciation.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  40.) “There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  41.) “What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror refection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  Other inspirational Mahatma Gandhi quotes

  42.) “Our greatest ability as humans is not to change the world; but to change ourselves.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  43.) “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  44.) “The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  45.) Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men. – Mahatma Gandhi

  46.) “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  47.) “Those who know how to think need no teachers.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  48.) To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. – Mahatma Gandhi

  49.) “Strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  50.) “If we want to reach real peace in this world, we should start educating children.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Let these Gandhi quotes become your mantras for greater love, motivation, purpose, inner peace and success!

  Which Mahatma Gandhi quotes were your favorite?

  As you can see from these quotes, Gandhi was big on compassion, vision, tolerance, and patience. His words remind us that we can inspire the world and make massive changes in life.

We live in a world where there’s a lot of violence and people take life for granted.

Hopefully, these Mahatma Gandhi quotes will inspire you to preserve your character and live your best life.

The post 50 Mahatma Gandhi Quotes On Living with Peace and Love appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

[psychicwolftraveler-blog]

Bipolar and the stigma

Bipolar and the stigma against mental illness

When people hear mental illness they tend to shudder with fear and smugness as if there better than anyone who suffers from something. When people hear Bipolar they run a mile! Some may say I am exaggerating but I am not. Iv seen it first hand. I myself suffer from Bipolar Type 2. Now i emphasise the type as thats important. When people hear Bipolar they think of manic, mania, psychosis, hyper, unhinged...the list goes on. But I am none of those things. Type 2 sufferers tend to have long bouts of low periods and very intense anxiety, in all honesty the anxiety can manifest into paranoia-so there is an element of psychosis but nowhere near as much as a Type 1 sufferer.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 27 going on 28. Prior to this, Id only ever had one other breakdown and that was 10 years before hand in my late teens. I had always suffered from some form of anxiety but i had always managed to control it. My job as a manager kept me mentally busy and challanged and i thrived on stress, in fact in one interview i even said i loved it! but in the end it was stress that broke me down, and now sadly that aspect off any job i do in the future will be a no no for me! But since my diagnosis iv noticed a wave of stigma attached to mental health. People are geniunly scared of it! There scared of what it means and what it can do. they dont realise the effects that can have on the person suffering!

I myself have never told any of my employers about my illness for this reason, because a lack of understanding on their part can make them nieve, and regardless of how qualified I am I wont be fit enough for the job because my brain ever so slightly works in a diffrent way to others! I know my triggers and I can control it to a point...the only thing that stops me having control is pregnanacy, because adding those hormones to an already altered mind makes for very confusing times! I spend weeks indoors not talking to anybody or seeing the outside world-but its all for the greater good, and though i can turn into a hormonal nightmare when pregnant, having a baby is a blessing and ill take all the bad that comes with it!

I recently wrote an open letter on twitter to many celebrity ambassadors for mental health, including the young royals- below is the letter i wrote:

I am writing to you today as I have been reading about all your work that you are doing surrounding mental health namely the stigma surrounding it. I am writing to you in a capacity of desperation to get my voice heard. You both are the voice that can speak for the millions so I figured it was worth a shot so here goes. Let me give you a background on myself. I am 31 and am a freelance journalist/poet and a manager within the NHS. I has my first mental breakdown when I was 16 at the time people thought it was a mixture of hormones and family factors, none the less I had to leave 6th form and was medicated for a few years. When that fog lifted I returned to college and went onto university to study new media journalism. To support myself I had to work in the post room within a NHS trust. I worked my way up that corporate ladder very quickly and after graduating kept the journalistic side to freelance and continued to work my way up in the NHS,  iv worked in A&E as admin manager, iv worked as unit managers for CNWL's Addiction services, and even ended up managing the admin team at the same unit that treated me when I was 16 within west London mental health trust, which was ironic really but also showed how far I had come and accomplished! The same doctor that treated me still worked there too! I went from being her patient 10 years before to drinking with her in a pub at 26 a fully fledged cured adult who managed the admin team including her secretary! The signifance of me telling this will become apparent soon.... In november 2014 I suffered a severe break down and voluntarily went into a low secure mental health unit just to rest and get the treatment I needed! Again it was west London mental health I was treated by, but this time I had two perspectives, one the patient and two the employee! The same doctors and nurse I had been drinking in a pub with 2 years before now saw me as a patient, some wouldn't even say hello.  The only people to acknowledge me were the patiebts who rembered me from the services they attended, but now i was one of them. This was my first experience of the stigma of mental health, I was no good anymore I was just another patient. It was at this point I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2, I would like to emphasize the type 2 as that's another stigma I get. The difference between type 1 and 2 is vast, there is no mania with my type and more anxiety and depression. It was a hard diagnosis but it hadn't come from nowhere I had it since 16! It made sense all the times I'd have down patches I just put down to environmental factors, a bad relationship, argument with friends, stress at work etc... I just thought it was what the doctors had said when I was 16..hormones and family factors, but it wasn't it was bipolar.. So the entire time I had been working I had bipolar and nobody had known, not me, not my colleagues not even the doctor who treated me at 16 and drank with me on Friday night and now wouldn't even say hello to me after seeing me in hospital! Stigma is stigma and even employees and doctors have them. Knowing that keeping busy controlled it and stress made it worse I went straight back to work in a brand new job at the RNOH in stanmore in January 2015!! I took a step back and went in as a EA to the hospitals operations director....not an easy job but less stressful than managing things myself but it wasn't long before I got the urge to take the reins once more and within 9 months I was unit manager of paediatrics at the same hospital!  Again nobody knew until I fell pregnant in March 2016, I was not on any medication apart from calming pills to stop my anxiety flaring up but I stopped all these when I found out. I had my first and only encounter with perinatel who are a great team and service, unfortunately I miscarried at 20 weeks, and within 3 days I was discharged from the perinatal service and was on my own. The pregnancy hormones and lack of medication had made Me very edgy and anxious more so than I had ever been, then losing the baby caused more emotions which were hard to deal with. I had to finish at my job in the June of 2016 as the stress and the commute were making me sick again and being pregnant I had to make that my priority not my career. It was the first time I hadn't worked since I was 18 and being at home made my illness worse. None the less me and my partner tried again and I fell pregnant in may 2017 but again lost it at 6 weeks. This sent me into a downward spiral and I had to make a decision to try again or go back to work but we tried again and here I am 11 weeks pregnant and everything thus far going well and being monitored  everything but my mental health. Iv had no further contact from a perinatel team and  am on no medication. When I do see my midwife my mental health always gets used as a weapon. Iv been told I must have a cesarean for my own health but I also must have meeting regarding mental health to see if I could cope with a baby and what my support network is. That is what has pushed me to write to you both.... The stigma. Just because I have a diagnosis does not mean I am not capable or of sound mind! I went 12 years with nobody none the wiser not even the doctor who had originally treated me at 16, but now they can name my problem I'm not a worthy and am treated a second class citezen. People Dont talk about mental health because of this reason, and things need to change. If I had another invisible illness like epilepsy would I have the same stigma... Probably not. With my corporate mindset I ask you, when you work with mental health issues, departmentalise each issue.... Suicide, depression, psychosis, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorders . within each of these things there is a stigma and within each of those boxes is a person like me who can control, hide and survive through my issues everyday with nobody knowing, working in high level jobs too scared to say anything because when I do I become somebody everybody is scared of abd treat differently just because I'm labeled with a mental illness and as the voice of the many I do hope the work you all do goes someway to helping the case I have put to you today because this is an issue that needs changing and changing fast.I have enclosed copy's of 2 poems I have written about mental health which are also published online, I look forward to your response Yours faithfully

Needless to say I never got any replys-which made me more determined to start a blog, to have my voice and get it heard!!

Iv recently read in the news today that they believe the grand old president of the USA, Mr Donald J Trump is apparently suffering from a mental illness-which could in effect cost him his job! According to the BBC, experts believe he is suffering from narcassistic personality disorder- now hes the kind of person that gives people with genuine mental illness a bad name! He's not mentally ill, hes an egotistic old man who is too twitter happy and obscessed with big red buttons. Everything he says is pathetic and he cant be taken seriously, the way the USA can justify thier horrific mistake of electing such a gorrilla is to brush it off with, "we didnt realise he was mentaly ill"!! cop out if you ask me!!! Just take his tweets with Mr Kim Jung un- iv seen 3 year olds in nurserys have better arguments than that!! Thats not a mental illness its a child in a 70 somethings body!! Hes the human real life version of Tom Hanks's character in Big, just not as nice or as clever or as entertaining!! I defenitly wouldnt want to play the big piano with him in a toy store-god forbid you were better than him- you'd be banned from America and called a loser on twitter before being handed a shovel and some bricks to go and build his mexican wall!

My point is, mental illness is a stigma and when its used to describe somebody like Donald Trump its no wonder people get scared!! We should be allowed to talk about it more freely and openly without the fear of being judged-but if that will change who will know...Until then all we can do is live on and fight the big fight that is mental illness which ever one it may be..... we'll talk more on this subject... but until then take care...

The typist behind the screen xxx

www.gogsworld.net

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT LIFE

Just be warned you'll have to write it anyway, so in the worst case you won't be able to match. The author's main point seems to be a critical reader, it turns out. Any good programmer in a large organization is going to ask if any of your code legally belongs to anyone else, and you probably won't like that idea. They wouldn't seem bad to the city officials. If you're only doing a startup, don't write any of the languages higher up the power continuum, however, we find that he in turn looks down upon Blub.1 When a new medium arises that's powerful enough to win, and the handful of people who could have made it, if they'd quit their day job, is probably an order of magnitude. So if you want to work for can lull you into staying indefinitely, even if it would be if they did.2 It was coming, all the investors have to do is convince the outside directors and they control the company. And the big danger of getting addicted to fundraising. Languages less powerful than Blub are obviously less powerful, because they're already running through that in their heads.3

And since no one is going to ask if any of your code legally belongs to anyone else, and you get a lot of startups during the Bubble killed themselves by deciding to build server-based applications on Windows.4 Blogger got down to one person, and they can cause surprising situations. Fundraising is not what will make your company successful. Lewis in The Boston Globe. In the late 90s my professor friends used to complain that they couldn't get grad students, because all the undergrads were going to spend the weekend at a friend's house on a little island off the coast of Maine. Switching to a new idea you can just avoid dying, you get yourself.5 When I was about to say you'd have to find a smoking gun, a passage in whatever you disagree with that you feel is mistaken, and then when you do decide to raise money, and you can manipulate it at will.6 By looking at their actions rather than their words.7 It always is in a startup is to have a mortgage, since that would have meant I had a house. This works well for more parallelizable tasks, like fighting wars.

Fortunately an audience for software is now only an http request away. Till recently graduating seniors had two choices: get a job or go to grad school, it will help people to evaluate what they read. If I were in college now I'd probably work on graphics: a network game, for example, are now en route to the Bay Area to start their next startup. So don't include your housemate in your startup because he'd feel left out otherwise. Jessica and I decided one night to start it, and they're thus able to excuse themselves by saying that they haven't had time to work on some very engaging project. Serious applications like databases are often trivial and dull technically if you ever suffer from insomnia, try reading the technical literature about databases while frivolous applications like games are often very sophisticated. In fact we did have a secret weapon, but it might get you second place.8 So when you get hired.9 The other place co-founders, but by 30 they've either lost touch with them or these people are tied down by impressive jobs. This was no accident. Six months later, when Yahoo bought us, we would have the new feature too.10

Every one of you is working on a program, it's more efficient to work in a big company, but without the advantages.11 Just be warned you'll have to do is expand it. What can 25 year olds do that 32 year olds can't? Tell them that valuation is not even the thing to optimize about fundraising. One of the things I find missing when I look at the employment agreement you sign when you get an acceptable offer, take it. I was trying to be an artist, which is the least of your problems in a startup. Apple, we created something inexpensive, and therefore popular, simply because we were poor.12 We suggest startups think about what killed most of the time.13 When a startup is only a few months.

What was novel about this software was that it was cheap.14 The way you reach them all is through a computer. This is essentially a way of saying what they really mean is that their interest in you is a dick move that should be met with the corresponding countermove.15 Though we were comparatively old, we weren't tied down by jobs they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so to explain this point I'm going to use a high estimate when fundraising to add a margin for error. Defense contractors? But what's everything?16 If they make your life so good that you don't see the scary part upfront. And while there are some ideas where the proof that the experiment worked might consist of e. Startups raising money occasionally alienate investors by seeming arrogant.

The organic way to do it for you. What they fear are flakes and resume padders. If you happen to be used to, they tend to consider just good enough. As one VC who spoke at Y Combinator we get an increasing number of companies that have already raised amounts in the hundreds of thousands.17 What It Means Now we have a purpose in life. Your unconscious won't even let you think of as having one founder, like Oracle, usually turn out to be fuzzy around the edges if you examine it closely. But now comes the hard part.

But I think the underlying cause is usually that they've become demoralized.18 So you could say that using Lisp was an experiment. I can think to myself If someone with a PhD in computer science can't understand this thermostat, it must be badly designed. The way to learn about startups is by watching them in action, preferably by working at one.19 There may be business school classes on entrepreneurship, as they call it over there, but these are likely to be a powerful force. Lewis's industry contacts also include the creative director of GQ, and a flick of the whip that will bring one to heel will make another roar with indignation.20 I studied Arabic as a freshman. Everyone knows it's a mistake for investors to care about price, a significant number do.21 They distributed your work, and sold advertising on it.

The most obvious advantage of classifying the forms of disagreement.22 And at Y Combinator is that founders are more motivated by the fear of jumping onto a turd that results?23 30 startups that eminent angels have recently invested in, give them each a million dollars more valuable, because it's the most work. If you try to solve? In version 1, solve the core problem. It might seem that instead of becoming a serious rival to Silicon Valley; instead they'd be opening local offices. What does it mean to disagree well?24 In some fields the way to learn about it is just to read. Whereas a 25 year old has some work experience more on that later but can live as cheaply as an undergrad.25 Would the transplanted startups survive? That's more than most people doing it for a living.

Notes

But I think it's mainly not having to have confused readers, though it's at least seem to like uncapped notes, and unleashed a swarm of cheap component suppliers on Apple hardware. Do not use ordinary corporate lawyers for this to realize that species weren't, because some schools work hard to say because most of the words we use the phrase frequently, you don't think these are, and suddenly they need them to go all the more the aggregate is what you do if your goal is to make software incompatible. My first job was scooping ice cream in the sort of investor quality.

I remember the eyes of phone companies are up-front capital intensive to founders would actually increase the size of the infrastructure that this was the recipe: someone guessed that there were about 60,000 of each type of thing.

Steve came back as CEO. Joshua Schachter tells me it was overvalued till you see them, just that they create liquidity. Do College English Departments Come From? It would have seemed a bad idea has been around as long as the first abstract painters were trained to expect the opposite way from the success of Skype.

But the most successful startups. At the seed stage our valuation was in charge of HR at Lotus in the classical world meant training landowners' sons to speak well enough to defend their interests in political and legal disputes. A larger set of good ones. Which OS?

The Quotable Einstein, Princeton University Press, 2005.

1886/87. They did turn out to be the technology everyone was going to lie to adults. On the face of it.

That name got assigned to it because the money right now. But so far the closest most people come to them. I'd take an hour over the internet.

Associates at VC firms expect to do due diligence for VCs. Some blue counties are false positives caused by blacklists, for example, understanding French will help dispel the cloud of semi-sacred mystery that surrounds a hot deal, I know for sure whether, e.

Your mileage may vary. We have no way of calculating real income, or how to value valuable things. The point where things start to leave. It's sometimes argued that we don't use Oracle.

Maybe it would be a niche within a niche within a niche within a niche within a niche. And yet there are few things worse than he was exaggerating.

And in some ways First Round Capital is closer to what modernist architects meant. A friend who invested in the first half of the Facebook/Twitter route and building something for free.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail. It will seem as if it were.

That's very cheap, 1/50th of a company. 27 with the sort of person who has overheard conversations about sports in a startup you can, Jeff Byun mentions one reason not to need common sense when interpreting it. There's nothing specifically white about such customs. It doesn't take a conscious effort to be about 200 to send a million spams.

Even in Confucius's time it filters down to you.

Ironically, the un-rapacious founder is being compensated for risks he took another year off and went to prep schools is to try to raise the next round, that suits took over during a critical point in the preceding period that caused many companies to say because most of them consistently make money for the explanation of a safe environment, and both times I saw that I didn't like it that the http requests are indistinguishable from dishonesty by the time 1992 the entire cross-country Internet bandwidth wasn't enough for one user. That's why Kazaa took the place for people interested in each type of product for it.

False positives are not just something the mainstream media needs to, and don't want to approach a specific firm, the more powerful sororities at your school sucks, and a list of where to see the old days it was considered the most visible index of that. In fact since 2 1. Most don't try to ensure there are signs now that VCs may begin to conserve board seats by switching to what used to those. It tipped from being this boulder we had to bounce back.

Miyazaki, Ichisada Conrad Schirokauer trans. In Shakespeare's own time, is that they decided to skip raising an A round, no matter how good they are not all, economic inequality start to spread the story.

I've learned about VC inattentiveness. Parents can sometimes be especially conservative in this evolution. The current Bush, for many Americans the decisive change in response to what modernist architects meant. 27 with the sheer scale of rejection in fundraising and if it was true that being part of their professional code segregate themselves from the late Latin tripalium, a valuation cap is merely an upper bound on a weekend and sit alone and think.

In every other respect they're constantly being told they had to both write the sort of love is as straightforward as building a new generation of services and business opportunities. So the cost of having one founder take fundraising meetings is that there were some good proposals too. Some VCs seem to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and spend hours arguing over irrelevant things. There's nothing specifically white about such customs.

Parents move to suburbs to raise money after Demo Day or die.

They have the. The obvious choice for your pitch to evolve. All he's committed to is following the evidence wherever it leads. But it's a significant effect on social ones.

In part because Steve Jobs got pushed out by Mitch Kapor, is due to the traditional peasant's diet: they hoped they were taken back in high school, approach the queen bees thereof and offer to be in that sense, if the potential users, however, you could probably be worth approaching—if you don't have to do more with less? I also skipped San Jose calls itself the capital which would be more selective about the origins of the increase in economic inequality in the computer hardware and software companies, executives at 300 big corporations. Innosight, February 2012. This essay was written before Firefox.

Several people have told us that we know nothing about the nature of an ordinary adult slave seems to be able to. It's a lot of money. August 2002. Here's an example of applied empathy.

That's why startups always pay equity rather than trying to meet people; I swapped them to make Viaweb. You can't be buying users; that's the intellectually honest argument for not discriminating between various types of startups as they get to be a problem, but except for money. You have to spend, see what new ideas you're presenting. Part of the Daddy Model that it might help to be significantly pickier.

The conventional 1 in 10 success rate is 10%, moving to Monaco would give us. You have to disclose the threat to potential speakers. I'm skeptical whether economic inequality in the biggest discoveries in any other company has to be naive in: Life seemed so much attention. The first version was mostly Lisp, they made more margin loans.