#but for them i'm maybe like a great friend?? idk not a favorite person
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do you ever feel uhm left out no matter what
#because i do#a lot#like i feel like i have a lot of friends that i all love so much on here#but for them i'm maybe like a great friend?? idk not a favorite person#i'm no ones favorite person#:((#that literally so selfish to think like that uhhh#i just wish i was someone's best friend?#yeah#i consider so many people very very good friends but they. dont feel the same about me and i can see it#and it hurt?#anyway#thoughts
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The Anomaly || JJK
Chapter 2: The Origin of Blind Obedience
summary : In which you're isekai'd from your (own) parallel Jujutsu Kaisen universe to the canon universe.
wordcount : 2.8k
Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen X Reader, eventually Character x Reader (idk who yet tho)
Masterlist | Next
[ My dumbass only now figured out that Ryomen isn't Sukuna's name- it's his title 💀. Anyway we will be referring to Y/N's Sukuna as Sukuna from now on lol. ]
" Woah, you can bake! "
You blink as you turn, grinning once you spot Yuuji.
" Yeah. I like baking. Especially when I'm stressed. "
He sits down at the table in the dormitory's kitchen as you speak. Your chocolate buns are in the oven, the smell starting to waft through the building. They're nearly done, with only a few minutes left.
" I've heard about people who do that. Is our world stressing you out? "
You shake your head, continuing to dry the dishes you've been using. It's been a few days since you've been here, and things are going relatively fine. You're following the classes like usual. However, you miss your friends, and the people you're familiar with. You miss your room as well.
" Not necessarily. I just miss home. It's weird being in the same place when it's so different.- Ah, also, do you maybe have a charger I can borrow? My phone is dead, and I don't exactly have any money at the moment. My card doesn't work here. "
You put your phone down on the table as you ask. It's still dead, the screen blank. However, it's the only object you have from your own world. You make sure to keep it on you at all times, even though it's dead.
Just like promised, Gojo has been making sure you have everything you need. You've gotten an extra uniform, your old one fixed as well, which had a rip in the back. He even made sure your personal touches were added to it too. The only thing left was your funding, but that was coming along slowly as well. Currently, he was on a trip abroad, leaving for whatever.
Yuuji picks up your phone, studying it.
" I think Fushiguro has the same brand. You could ask him once he's awake. "
You hum, smiling at him.
" Thanks, I will. "
Soon enough, the oven dings, and you take out your buns, placing them on the stove top. Yuuji approaches curiously, beaming as he notices the nearly perfectly baked buns.
" Ohhh, they look great Kamo! "
You smile at his compliment.
" Thank you. And feel free to call me Y/N. I'm not particularly fond of my clan's name. "
Yuuji hums, focused on the bread.
" Can I try one? "
You hum.
" Sure, but be careful-"
It seems your warning was relatively useless, as Yuuji gasps, bouncing a bun before finally putting it on a plate he had previously taken out of one of the cupboards.
" -They're hot. "
You smile, shaking your head. This Yuuji wasn't all too far off from the guy you're fond of back at home.
" What's that smell? "
You turn, noticing Nobara popping her head in the kitchen/dining area as well.
" I made chocolate buns. They're fresh out of the oven, so they're still hot. Feel free to try one. "
Nobara too, beams at your offer, coming closer to study them.
" Woah, they're pretty Kamo! Your universe is lucky to have you. "
You chuckle at her words.
" Thanks. "
" What are you doing? "
Finally, Megumi joins the scene. He looks as unbothered as always, but you recognize that curious twinkle in his eyes from knowing him for years.
You beam at him.
" Megumi! I've made chocolate buns. I know they're not your favorite considering your taste palette, but still. "
You shrug as you speak, turned to set away the dishes you've used.
Everyone blinks at you behind your back. Still, Megumi comes closer and joins the scene.
" Were you and Fushiguro close? "
Nobara asks, before taking her first bite. She melts at the sweet taste, savoring it.
You shrug.
" Sort of. More like familiar with one another. We already knew each other before Jujutsu Tech. I already knew Sukuna and Yuuji before Jujutsu Tech as well. I was absolutely blessed by your presence though. "
Nobara beams at your words, her head held high as she grins confidently.
" How did you know Sukuna and I? " Yuuji asks.
" You two lived in the village close to the Kamo clan grounds. As a child I was closer to you, but somehow I ended up becoming closer with Sukuna instead. "
Yuuji's brows raise in surprise before he beams.
" We were close? I'm not too surprised if I'm honest- you're a fun person, Y/N."
You smile at him.
" Thank you. "
" The idea of Sukuna being my twin is so weird though. "
Meanwhile, Megumi watches you as you move about the kitchen, chatting away with Yuuji. There's something about you. He doesn't know exactly what. It just catches your attention. Your presence is pleasant. You feel familiar, at least to him. Probably because he does know you, in your universe.
He glances down at the dead device on the table, The phone catching his attention, he's not entirely sure whose it is. Judging by the phone case, it's not Yuuji's or Nobara's. So it had to be yours. It's see through, with stickers on it. There's so many of them, you can barely see the small hidden piece of paper behind it. And a photo card.
" Is this your phone, Y/N? "
He's asking before he realizes. His classmates freeze.
" Fushiguro! You've only met Y/N yesterday and you're already calling her by her first name, but not me? "
Yuuji is pouting as he speaks, perhaps a little sad his friend doesn't.
Megumi sends him an annoyed glance, though his cheekbones dust pink.
You approach him, humming.
" Yeah it is. Yuuji mentioned you might have the same brand. Do you maybe have a charger I can borrow? I haven't got any money to buy one yet. "
You pick up your phone, turning the device in your hands.
Megumi nods.
" I've got a spare one you can borrow for as long as you need it. "
And then he's gone, leaving to retrieve his spare charger for you.
Yuuji's mouth is open in surprise.
" Woah, he doesn't even share anything with us. "
" Hey Y/N, does your universe's Megumi have a crush on you? "
Nobara is grinning at you while she's asking.
You raise a brow, shaking your head.
" No, why? "
She grins again, shrugging.
" No reason, just asking. "
" Hey Y/N, can I have another one? "
" Sure, make sure to leave one or two for Nanami though. "
-
Currently, the four of you are in Nitta Akari's car. You're seated in the passenger's seat up front, while the others are in the back.
You're trying to follow her explanation about the case you're send to. Something about automatic doors being open, and someone dying soon after.
Nothing was really clear about it. Only that all the victims had gone to the same middle school. You recognize the name of the school, your eyes flitting to Megumi. He doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn't care.
Your first stop is at a classmate who knew all three victims. However, as you arrive, you find out he's dead. His funeral currently ongoing.
Left aimless, Nitta decides that you will stop by the school. The three of you arrive soon enough, and Nobara grins as she notices two punks, who seems to be ending their smoke.
" We got some punks over here. Let's beat em' up and set em' straight! "
She's grinning, twirling around a pole to face you as she juts her thumb to them.
Both punks don't seem too interested in your group, until Yuuji moves, revealing Megumi.
They both freeze up straight, and bow formally.
" I-it's good to see you! -"
Nobara and Yuuji lose themselves in the moment, and an embarrassed smile makes it's way onto your face.
" Heh, look at that. You actually get it. "
Nobara is all up in her headspace again, and Yuuji is quick to tag along.
" The aura just pours out, even when you try to hide it. "
" Fushiguro! "
They both look like a field of flowers had just wilted in front of them, now turning to their classmate.
" I... Went here.. For middle school. "
Megumi is looking away as he admits it, and you just casually watch the scene unfold. He brought this upon himself, so he can fix it himself too.
" That's surprising all right, but that's not the point! Look at me! "
" What did you do?! What did you do to them in middle school?! "
Both Yuuji and Nobara are trying to force him to get him to look at him.
" Nah, we should just ask them!"
" Hey, idiot A, idiot B, what did this guy do to you?! "
They finally look up from their formal bow.
" To us? Nah, every punk, every gang member in the area was beat up by Fushiguro. "
Both Yuuji and Nobara pause. You blink too. You didn't know that. You didn't expect that either. All three turn to him in question. He glances away, avoiding everyone's eyes.
" I... Beat... Them. "
Nobara and Yuuji return right back to trying to get him to look at them. They continue on like that for a moment, and you contemplate on helping your friend out, however, an old man approach, obviously a staff member.
" Hey, students of other schools aren't allowed here! "
" And who're you?! "
" He's obviously a staff member, Kugisaki. "
" We're here to investigate. "
Nitta shows her card, and things finally seem to settle a bit. In fact, Nitta feels secure enough to leave it in Megumi's hands.
Megumi starts asking the staff member questions, and few things are picked up. Apparently, there's a bridge nearby where odd, paranormal things happen often. That, along with something about bungee jumping from said bridge with a bungee jump court
After some more information being shared with your group by the staff member and school students, the five of you return to Nitta's car, trying to figure out if things would connect. ( And the school's staff member passes by- asking how Tsumiki is doing. Apparently they didn't know he had a sister. What was he being so secretive for?)
Eventually, you settle on that it makes sense, the bridge is said to be haunted after all. It'd be easy for a curse to take place there.
Later that night, Nitta drops the four of you off at the bridge.
" Are you sure that that's a good idea? "
You're worried, eyeing the plastic cord Nobara was wrapping around Yuuji.
Yuuji grins, giving you a thumbs up. " Don't worry, I'll be fine. "
You don't exactly believe him. Megumi glances at you, subconsciously appreciating your size difference. You look sweet, all worried over Yuuji like this.
" Don't worry. Itadori's strong. He'll be fine. "
Yuuji pouts.
" Still on a last name basis with me. "
You pat his back, before unclasping one of your water skins, just to make sure.
" Should I maybe wait below the bridge? That way I can heal you immediately if you were to... Drop. "
You cringe at the idea, strongly disliking it.
Megumi raises a brow at you.
" You can perform reverse cursed energy? "
You nod.
" Yeah, I'm better at that than fighting if I'm honest. Don't let the higher ups know though- I don't want them to use me for my healing ability, or stupid stuff like that. "
Megumi nods.
" Don't worry Y/N, I'm strong! "
If this is Yuuji's try at convincing you, you're not convinced.
Thankfully, he's uninjured as he's bounced off the bridge by Nobara (who seems to be having way too much fun with it) and bounces back up. The rest of the night is uneventful. There seems to be nothing there. Not a sliver of cursed energy, no residue, nothing.
By morning, Nitta has come to pick everyone up again, and you're pretty much back to square one. When suddenly, one of the school punks from earlier comes by, having brought his sister.
Apparently, she's went to the bridge too, and the automatic doors have been having issues around her too. However, that's not the worst part of it. She wasn't alone when she went to the bridge. She went with a group, one which Tsumiki was in as well. She too, had went to the bridge.
Your blood runs cold at the revelation. You've never been particularly close with her, but you have spoken before. You knew her well enough to care for her.
Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi especially, are worried as well. Yuuji is quick to act, telling Megumi to check up on her. He steps away, thankfully doing so.
Silently, you wonder if the same things are happening in your universe as well. Was she okay? If you were back at home, you'd text her, check up on her. You're starting to feel a little useless, a feeling you hate.
Thankfully, she's okay, for now at least.
Moments later, Megumi is shoving Yuuji, Nobara and you in the car, mumbling nonsense about how he wants to ask questions to the staff member, that the danger level of the mission has gone up, and that it's best if you don't go.
You don't buy it, and thankfully, neither do Yuuji and Nobara.
" I don't buy it. He's up to something. "
Nobara is the first to point it out, Yuuji humming in response as you nod.
" Hey Nitta, stop the car please. "
Nitta glances at you through the car's rearview mirror, but does as you ask, pulling over barely a block away.
You nudge Yuuji, as you're sandwiched between him and Nobara.
" C'mon. Let's follow him. "
Yuuji's eyes spark as he gets out of the car, Nobara and you following. Nitta calls out something along the lines of 'be careful', but no one listens, instead, Yuuji yells back that he'd call her once you were done.
It's surprisingly easy to follow him, concerningly so. In no training you've ever had with him was it ever this easy to sneak up at him.
" You must seriously be at your wits end if you didn't notice us until now. "
Nobara states.
You eye him, a worried pout on your lips.
" You don't have to tell us everything, but at least rely on us. We're friends, after all. "
" You don't need to do this alone, Megumi. "
Yuuji and you are gentle as you remind him so.
" Tsumiki... Is still bedridden. "
Megumi's words cause your eyes to widen.
Your heart stutters as you realize the missing detail. You. You've been the one to heal Tsumiki, your healing ability exceeding standards by far. There was no you in this universe. There wasn't anyone who could've healed her like you did. You didn't know how she had gained the curse, you never really bothered to know. So this was how...
Megumi doesn't need to explain much more, Yuuji, Nobara and you were quick to catch up. You smile weakly as you follow the other two, pushing your thoughts away for now. Perhaps, you can ask him later if you could see her, perhaps you could heal her too, like you have back in your own world.
The order of approaching the curse was important in actually finding it.
You go at night, from underneath. At the bottom of the valley, there should be a river. Crossing the river would act as passing a border, like crossing from life to death.
Exactly as Nitta predicted, you enter the curse's unfinished domain. The first thing that catches your eyes is some kind of singing, gloopy looking thing. The second thing that catches your attention, is the other curse that joins the scene. It's mangled body blue, and unsettling to see.
" What's this? "
" Fushiguro, this one doesn't belong here, right? "
Yuuji charges up his fists with cursed energy, ready to go at it.
" Yeah. "
" You two handle the domain. Y/N and I will handle this one. "
You ready your stance. The gushes of red catches your attention, it's familiar molecule structure teasing your cursed energy.
Was that blood?
Taglist
@luxylucylou @kalulakunundrum @strxbxrrylover
#idkeitherman#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#platonic jujutsu kaisen
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Leo kurosagi analysis
this was requested but tumblr wont let me post to their ask so: Okay, Leo is selfish. I'm not gonna deny all the bad things people say about him, or even deny he is a bad person, but he is a GREAT set up for a character. I would like to say that Tokyo debunker is giving set up for growth from each character, Leo is just the most Jarring, for the fan base. full disclosure, I did not like Leo or even consider liking him until I saw the HATE on here, I'm not just trying to be quirky by liking the most disliked character either. I tend to just want to see the good in what most people dislike. I like kpop and I tend to bias the most criticized or least biased members of a group, because I think it's an amazing feeling to give love... Although I understand it's cathartic to hate too, and that's probably why the Leo hate is so strong. I also still don't LIKE Leo, but I really do want to explore his character and I probably will make more posts as we see him more and as I experience him more myself. The Leo cu*king tho, is maybe my least favorite "trope" in TBD fanfic rn... but I don't k*nkshame y'all :*
I also would like to say Sho is his friend, not his victim or Rapunzel. There is some value to Leo in Sho's eyes and I think we shouldn't degrade that because we see that if Sho doesn't like someone he will not engage i.e Ren. Sho is a sweet character and I think he might be friends with Leo because he wants to see the best in him or knows his more repulsive behaviors are a defense mechanism or explained by other reasons we the MC are yet to see. Why I think that is even tho the weird blob guys in the mystery diner suck at making food he still wants to see the best in them, and that very scenario could be a cheeky analogy from the writers themselves, about Sho and Leo. Obviously Leo could be blackmailing Sho, I know that is a commonly held belief, but I do have some perspectives that could debunk that thought. Leo doesn't Garner blackmail on his peers. I think Leo is nosy, and invasive, but he is also incredibly capable, implied by his contributions to the vagastrom group case. If he wanted to figure out who Alan killed he could with his hacking prowess, but instead he asks Mido himself. In invasive ways yes, but he could just have found the information himself, whether by hacking or asking the countless witnesses of the clash. Rather he asks Mido face to face, and, correct me if I'm wrong we can't say he wouldn't have taken no for an answer because Mido just gets mad at his antics and never gives him a straight up no. Again I could be wrong so let me know if Alan does give him a straight no. It's been a while since chapter two for me.
Right now I want to explore some possibilities for his character given the information we have about him ATM. I mentioned above the fact his little nasty, mean, degrading comments could be a defense moreso that he wants people to try and push past that to see if they're viable as his friends. Especially because he is micro-influencer he might be protective of himself because of that. As well as being a chronic liar online he may want to know if he can trust you not to expose him online. I think exploring his past would be amazing because even his stigma makes him seem like an overly cautious person, as well as invasive. Cautious? I feel like its cut and dry that wanting to hear what people say when you aren't around could hint to him being quite anxious about what people think about him. like idk I also feel like the jealousy we see towards Sho might also be more about people finding Sho more approachable. I think because Leo wants to be more involved with people in power he might have not been trying to scare Subaru away because "Sho is mine >:(" and actually could have been jealous that Subaru noticed Sho first and not him. Still awful right? but also like I said I don't see Leo as enjoyable but more so a lot of room for redemption, or explanation. Sympathy or empathy might be something we feel for him a lot if he is properly explored.
Obvs these are just possibilities right :) I actually find him very cute and I like his catty behavior, especially because in comparison to other nasty ghouls he is like a kitten hissing at you, harmless. Like dude Taiga shot me, and you're just a nasty baby, I smell your fear on the inside, you just want to be loved like everyone else. He's a true tsundere and not that "I swear I don't like you!!" shit and I appreciate that. I hope nobody misconstrues this as defense of his toxicity more-so that the point of tokyo debunkers focus seems to be everyone is demonizing these teens who seriously are just teens, and sometimes teenagers are catty are toxic, but they're still learning. Especially when the adults suck too... if not more because they are adults. AND LEO IS HATED FOR BEING STINKY AND MEAN BUT TAIGA AND ROMEO ARE LIKED BUT SO MUCH MORE MORALLY DECREPIT... so idk that especially irks me. I still would like to know what people think and if you are also excited to see the exploration of the ghouls especially Leo, and what theories you may have on him yourself.
#tokyo debunker#tdb#leo kurosagi#i love difficult characters#character analysis#tokyo debunker headcanon#tbd headcanons#tech savvy gays are always a lil evil#share your thoughts
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I think you saying that you mainly ship sonadow just made my day along with the fact you go "hell yeah" about it 😭😭
I have some questions
1) Why do you like the ship? I like it because of the whole opposites attract thing
2) I like to think of Sonic and Shadow having that sort of "rivals to lovers" trope and opposite attract as said before, which idk if it applies to you because everyone ships things differently so
If you were to do any comic media about them, how would you do it?
3) Do you think about doing more art about them in the future?
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
I'm sorry for the questions about the ship I just like that fact that my one of my favorite sonic comic artists ships my personal favorite ship, along with surgamy lmao
Since I can't do images anonymously, here's a bug playing saxophone
🎶🎷🐛
I'd say it's less that they're opposites for me and more like they're two sides of the same coin. Also I guess because I grew up with Archie Sonic and there's a lot there. Like, it's a WHOLE different dynamic than game!Sonadow (like for instance they were way more like allies than rivals in that comic) and that's what stuck with me -- But I like that they can rely on each other in a way that feels different than friendship. And they can travel together and stuff. Sonic has been all over the world and Shadow might still be trying to discover this planet Maria loved so much. He can be shown the beauty and joy of life on Earth Mobius Unnamed Planet. Does that make any sense at all? I'm sleepy. Also! I like the idea of Shadow just like. Trying to integrate himself within Sonic's friends and family (Tails). He's the only one who'd have this problem btw. Everyone else is chill (except Knuckles maybe).
I was privately writing a fanfic that i shared with my friends that was like, "Aaahhh it's (I think it was 6 total?) years into the future, but ONE year into the future Sonic and Shadow had a jewish wedding bc i hc Shadow as jewish (bc i hc the robotnik family as jewish) and Eggman has been straight up sent to prison by G.U.N. and things are great for a while and there's peace but THEN with Eggman out of the way, G.U.N. does a full-scale invasion on the whole world to "bring order" to a world they find irredeemably chaotic USING Eggman who is now forced to work under them to make weapons of war. Shadow immediately leaves G.U.N. out of disgust and as a cruel "punishment" for this, Sonic gets captured by G.U.N. and turned into their own living weapon. For five years Shadow and Tails, who now consider each other their only family (I won't get into what happened with Amy, Knuckles, Rouge and Omega rn) are trying to survive under this horrible regime and rebelling where they can BUT Shadow is completely heartbroken and sabotages bigger and more dangerous G.U.N. operations in order to lure Sonic out and accepting less help from allies as the years continue on and he's still unable to find and save blue hedgehog husband. He returns to Tails with more and more injuries that Tails has to fix up and there's a lot of yelling. So I guess I like angsty sonadow? But I don't know if I'd turn that fanfic into a comic. But if I made a sonadow comic, that would be the one.
Someone would need to chop off my hands to stop me from making more sonadow art (eventually)
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i swear there is something about landoscar that makes me insane like i got into this fandom and have liked a lot of ships like maxiel, carlando, lestappen etc but there is just something different about landoscar??? idk if it's the dynamic between the two?? or if it's oscar's personality that makes their interactions feel genuine but i would love your analysis or thoughts on this cause WHYYYYYYY have these boys taken over my brain like so??? i swear other ships are literally out here hugging like mad and saying sexual innuendos to each other etc etc and im unfazed but i see oscar and lando have the slightest touch or glance at each other and im feral foaming at the mouth lmfaooooo !!!
omggg anon i answered an ask here about why 814's personalities appeal to Me Personally but maybe i shouldn't get too into that... 😔
anyway idk whether this makes any sense but perso with some rpf ships i find that the myth somewhat outweighs the canon or vice versa — i.e. the "potential narrative" of a ship is really compelling but it doesn't quite exist as it's written in canon, or a ship doesn't have that many compelling extra narratives other than the existing relationship that's strongly visible in canon. and i think these are all great and fun to ship, but i guess as EYE see it it sort of feels like 814 balance those aspects fairly well? like they have a dece amount of sweet and interesting interactions with each other, but obviously they're not best friends and there's enough of this like, sense of repression + the fact of their personalities being not fully diametric but still different enough that it feels like you can take them in a lot of directions. i really like that landoscar aren't quite foils but also aren't "twins" either as some people say, and oscar despite being so lauded as mature is still inspired by lando in many ways and shares the same sarcastic humor as him and enjoys his presence a lot. they work because they aren't opposites but there are enough crucial aspects that separate them so you can make a lot of tropes and aus fit them. which isn't to say you can't do the same with the other ships you mentioned but... idk i'm also just biased because i'm an oscarybroTM so i don't really think about 90% of the grid so i'm fundamentally less invested HLKSDFHLH
also i've mentioned this b4 but my favorite hockey ship (2124) is literally the hockey version of oscar (dorky californian sportsnerd who brings his gaming setup on road trips to play fifa) x his dry finnish linemate whom he doesn't even interact with off the ice but ON the ice they have the most electric wordless chemistry and are constantly aware of where the other is and play beautifully together and get super awkward when reporters try to talk to them about it. so like to me unspoken collaboration IS a beautiful and worthy thing to rpf about.... *__* so clearly i enjoy teammate repression and awkwardness in my ships already but then 814 are kind of even more insane because they're less myth than 2124 so there's SO much to chew on. at least for moi 🥰 icl i'm a little bit anti-pda so constructing intricate rituals to look longingly at other men and laugh at their bad jokes is more compelling to me than straight up skinship/bgp... i was just telling @inchidentally whose analysis i feel like might be up your alley that i don't rly get why people act like oscar's "heart eyes" toward lando are "pr" (???) because from everyth we've been told and see about him it's so clear that he's always been just himself and the level of... unguarded emotion he displays around lando isn't something you can just make up imo. even if it's just little things and they go off and do completely different things off-track (which again i kind of enjoy. like romanze can be guy who goes off to party with models the day after a race x guy who's in bed gearing up his 10th joke about getting his wisdom teeth removed) it makes them rly fun to watch ;__;
#(tl;dr they're for the awkward autistic lesbians 😔)#ask#sorry for the nonsensical morning reply... can u believe i have to work even though [sad health sounds] :(#814 meta
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Ikemen Tier List
whoaaa two posts together whoaaa (you guys didn't witness me doing this first to see if I had the energy to post a finished drabble today)
I've had trouble with the tier lists for a while because I feel like it didn't explain how I felt about these dudes half of the time, but I figured out a better way to mark the tiers and I feel like this sums it up great. And now you too can have a handy dandy 'How does Scum feel about X?' list! If Roderic had a sprite, I would put him in the daily thing, or maybe the top one? hm
Anyway, I'm gonna explain the tiers under the cut for extra clarifications.
[*Wants to write fanfics for 24/7*] : The Current Main Blorbo. All tremble before him - for he holds the writing braincell and he's all anyone hears about forever and ever - until another blorbo takes his spot (usually takes a few years). You'll see him as icons and photos and and and--------
On my mind daily, in some form: Sometimes these characters will be paired with the #1 chara, and so by extension they're thought about often. Sometimes they're not paired with them, but still thought about often. Despite my posting habits, I do enjoy these guys still. A lot, actually.
Think about a few times a week, offhandedly: Rubs chin. I think of Chev and Elbert as a rare comfort. A type of quiet one that is a plesant encouragement in some way or another. Or I get perplexed thinking about how they'd look ordering shitty coffee. Not much of an inbetween. But really I sometimes just enjoy the quiet comfort thoughts when i need them with those two.
Think about a few times a month: They used to be higher up in the faves, but I either got enough of them at some point (in a good way), friends love them with such glee that i just enjoy watching them simp for them, or they just got naturally shifted down in the line as more characters came into view. I won't talk about them much but I do like em in multiple ways.
Scared to think about (for my wallet): legally not allowed to like because I cannot max out my credit card (a joke). I really really really like Alfons and Victor but I am terrified they'll shoot the ranks in a couple of months, and that my wallet will be screaming to be spared (darius is still up for debate)
Want to like but (and/or for reasons cannot): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Random simping once a blue moon (idk why): I read a translated story of roger once when sitting in my car on a lunch break. I was reading as I was getting out, and nearly fell into the horn when reading about his cock. It tormented me for a week. This happens ocassionally with the others... maybe not a translated story, but i'll have a random thought that hits me like a bullet train and suddenly I'm stumbling and struggling to think about anything else for a bit. (Leonardo is here as punishment, he knows what he did)
Was Favorite when playing but ghosted game: Ikerev was the first(?) cybird game I played, followed very very closely by ikesen. I don't see a lot of stuff for them naturally on my dash, and bluntly ikerev just could not hold my attention especially after I lost my data and got cockblocked by shitty gacha pulls, but I hardcore simped for these dudes when I played. Well, jonah did get pushed to the bottom of that tier fairly quickly, but Shingen is still #1 there. Anju (oc) was originally made for him, and I suspect that when his...eternal(?) is released in eng, I'll be feral for a little bit and then go back to gil simping.
No opinion really: I just.....shrug. They're neither bad nor good. These are characters who I was either SUPER excited for and then sorely disappointed, characters I haven't felt drawn to, or characters I just....never....felt anything towards...even after reading their route... I'm assuming they're just not my type and that's why they're here.
No: I hold negative opinions due to XYZ personal reason. Or their vibes are just rancid to me. I don't care if others like them or not, I don't judge others for liking them.
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Love and Deepspace Thoughts
I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.
I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.
Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<
What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.
Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol
But let's get into the good stuff!
I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!
One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!
From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.
Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"
HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!
And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;
(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)
I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?
But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;
And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.
On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!
Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.
MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!
It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!
HELLO?! Girl. Listen.
I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao
I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.
Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.
I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!
So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?
I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!
And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.
Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.
He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;
But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.
Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.
There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES
I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?
But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.
I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;
And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW
Listen.
I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????
If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.
But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.
Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.
If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".
I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.
If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.
There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!
I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj
I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@
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narumitsu fic recs - part 1
I've been putting together fic recs for a while, trying to sort things into different categories rather than just sharing one big post of stories that are all over the place in type, length, etc. - I've appreciated all the fic recs I've gotten on reddit and in nrmt discord servers, and wanted to compile things in such a way that it makes it easier for those who are interested in reading more fanfic! while I still have decent amount of fics bookmarked on my "to read" list, i have read a not insubstantial number this year (don't mind me just rolling into the fandom nearly 23 years late - actually I really liked AA when I first saw GG play in 2019, bought the game b/c of it - & I liked nrmt but something about JFA was the turning point for me to become just totally normal about them)
anyways, i digress...
I'll start off with my favorite contenders for long (more than 50K words) canon-compliant (or mostly canon-compliant fics) - some are more dramatic and some are more light-hearted
obviously since this is a recommendation list, I may make comments about how I feel about something with a fic that you don't agree with - I only say this to point out some of my thoughts regarding the fic, not to start a hc war... and I'm definitely not trying to say "this author is wrong" or anything like that, just pointing out my personal opinion
a long way to fall by prospectkiss
this is the first long fic I ever read for nrmt and I can't recommend it enough. Heads up that this fic is E - Taking place between T&T and AJ (handwavey give them more time in this time period than in canon), this is also a case fic that majorly ties in to the plot - you've got romantic tension, mutual pining, drama, angst and a great (and spicy) ending. word count: 78K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: I admit I am partial to getting together fics that are pre-disbarment or very early 7YG, the PINING and build up is incredible and it’s very difficult to put down but especially once you get about halfway through, it will be hard to stop! I think I read this in only 2 sittings.
the long way home by griffonage
a fic that deserves SO much more love - it is so incredibly well-written and heart-wrenching. the very beginning covers major events of the first trilogy quickly while the majority of the story takes place during the 7YG. Phoenix is always right there for Edgeworth, but Edgeworth is pretty great at making terrible decisions -including running away from things he wants deep down- and that finally takes its toll on Phoenix, whose anger is very justified. Per the tags: ??? to friends?? to it's complicated to it's VERY complicated to... unsurprisingly this makes for a pretty angsty relationship & moments that make you just want to shake Miles (and Phoenix, but a lot more Miles). This is also an E fic FYI, as far as I remember that stuff is only short scenes in a few places as opposed to like, a whole chapter devoted to it. word count: 84K POV: Miles why it’s a must read IMO: there are multiple little case fics along the way that are interesting, this story truly made me sad I wasn’t also working and exploring in Europe, Trucy!!, the OCs are very well done, it’s a great character study of Miles, and writing wise, this is one of the most well-written stories I’ve ever read among fanfic and published novels written in my lifetime
trace (vestiges) by FaultyParagon
this fic is pretty well known, and while it may not rank quite as high for me now as it did when I first read it, I do regard it highly. I don't know how much editing/beta-reading happened for it, so my one little thing about it is that the grammar mistakes happened a little too frequently to gloss over, but still not terrible (I know we all write for free but with frequent or significant enough errors, I'm taken out of the world easily, maybe that's not a problem that affects the majority of readers, idk). A mostly filling in the gaps fic that takes place from AAPW to right before DD - it's not exactly a slow burn, but just because they manage to get together earlier rather than later doesn't mean they aren't going to encounter obstacles in their relationship. This fic is M - it sort of rides that line between M and E in my opinion, as the sex isn't very graphic but not just glossed over either. word count: 225K POV: Miles why it’s a must read IMO: touch-starved Miles, again, I’m partial to them getting together pre-disbarment, despite it not being exactly a slow burn it does have quite a build up, I really love seeing Miles have a lot personal growth, especially in regards to handling his emotions, during his “choose death” year and during 7YG as well as how he is there for Phoenix and Trucy during that time
turnabout feelings by ssygir
a 7YG fic where Edgeworth requests Phoenix's help to research trials by jury, bringing Phoenix and Trucy with him to Paris - where they unintentionally get caught up in a murder investigation, and Phoenix realizes his feelings for Edgeworth are definitely not platonic. While my personal view is that Phoenix has known he's been in love with Miles for a looooong time, I can appreciate a good fic where he's just now figuring that out. Some little things about Edgeworth's characterization feel off to me, but maybe that's just me. This fic is E, but that's pretty much limited to one chapter. one small note: this fic does have a follow up, but hasn't been updated in over a year (although the author has said they plan to finish it at least! so hope is not lost yet) word count: 76K POV: Phoenix why it’s a must read IMO: it’s an early 7YG getting together story, the case fic is fun, not a total sloooooow burn but definitely builds up, a good pick when you want a more lighthearted story with very little angst
dating for a turnabout by Mikomikono
technically set in that tiny window between AAI2 and Phoenix's disbarment, Miles asks Phoenix to join him to investigate a smuggling operation at a resort - except they find out that the event taking place at the resort is a couple's retreat, and the only way to have full access is to pose as one... oh and of course Larry happens to be there too. This one is a fun case fic with mutual pining, only one bed and a sprinkling of angst among some silliness and fluff - while I wish there was a little more to the ending, it was a very fun read, T rating. word count: almost 90K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: the author has little profiles and evidence info for the case posted for each chapter, very fun! I’m picky about fake dating stories and I think this one does it very well, and again, I really like seeing pre-disbarment getting together - and they are pining fools here, it’s good stuff
chasing history by SlatedForAbandonment
post canon, Phoenix invites Miles to stay in his guest room while he's in LA working on his PhD. Some small notes on timeline - this is where it gets a little loose with canon compliance, although the author does note that in the tags - Edgeworth is already Chief Prosecutor but currently taking a leave of absence to work on his dissertation, but hasn't found permanent residence again yet, despite this being a few years post SOJ (at one point it is stated that Apollo is 28) - I also feel like a lot of Edgeworth's behavior/reactions are more fitting of trilogy era Edgeworth, or even early 7YG... all that being said, it is a super slow burn, well-written with fun dialogue and very sweet moments as well as a bit of angst. rating is T. word count: 68K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: even though I feel like this story would more realistically take place much earlier in canon, you get a great slow burn with plenty of incredibly sweet moments along the way that just make you melt
the catch-up game by theacegrace
post canon, Trucy is on a year-long magic show tour and Phoenix is left feeling like everyone keeps moving on and leaving him behind, while also dealing with some realizations regarding one Miles Edgeworth. again, my personal take is that Phoenix would've realized this long before now, but this story is an interesting Phoenix character study and once you get about 3/4 through the story, the situation is very tense - it's hard to not read this whole thing, or at least the back half, in one sitting. rated T. word count: 66K POV: Phoenix why it’s a must read IMO: it’s always interesting to consider that prior to his disbarment, Phoenix was the more self-assured and bold one of the two when it came to matters of the heart, and then afterwards that essentially flips for a while - now Miles has gained a lot of confidence and gone through a lot of emotional growth (Phoenix starts to gain this back a lot after becoming a lawyer again, but he’s definitely not just back to trilogy-era Phoenix)
it would feel so good to make you mine by hi_its_ellis and lowbatteryhealth
post DD, this is an unusual slow burn - both Phoenix and Miles know they're in love with each other, but they've come to an unspoken agreement on how to handle this - there's a winner and a loser, and the "loser" is whoever cracks first. honestly, another fic where I just wanted to shake them until they came to their sense, but it's very fun and sweet, T rating. word count: 54K POV: various why it’s a must read IMO: it’s tagged idiots to usdiots LMAO, so many sweet moments among the aggravation - they are BOTH moron-sexual, your honor, and you’ll want to strangle them /affectionate…
a turnabout toast by ideny
summary by author: (after the events of AJ) an estranged Phoenix and Miles respond to a friendly challenge from an unexpected source: do three things each to fix your lives. this fic is technically the least canon compliant because we of course learn in DD (and this fic was written before the release of DD) that Phoenix and Miles did spend time together during his disbarment, at the very least in Europe helping Miles research. So this is a hell of an angsty read, worth it for the story-telling despite that it departs from canon in that way. Not rated, but I don't recall anything above T rating stuff happening in it. word count: 68K POV: rotating between Phoenix and Miles why it’s a must read IMO: damn they really go through it in this one, dealing with the aftermath of the events of AJ is very interesting, lots of angst but I feel compelled to tell you don’t worry, the ending will ease your pain
Obligatory recs:
legal partners by miggy
project: matchmakers by WingSongHalo
how to court a fool in under three months by snowyrunes
All 3 of these are post canon getting together fics, AND all 3 are told from various POVs, not just Phoenix and Miles - there's a reason they are some of the most well-known ones - PM is probably the most fluffy with the least angst (and has a very cute multi chapter follow up), followed by LP (has a fairly short E follow up) - HTCAFIUTM is the slowest burn (it also has a follow up that hasn't been updated since 2022... which stinks because it did leave off on a bit of a cliffhanger and I really wanna know what's going to happen lol)
I have yet to read the highly regarded canon-compliant long fics listed below, but they are on my to-read list!
you ever been in love? by hechima
saturation by tiedyed trickster *
indefensible by zombolouge *
a brief for the defense by Ophelia_Writes * (this has now been orphaned FYI)
turnabout dishwasher by zuzsenpai
*indicates that it has not been finished yet, possibly won't ever be
If you know of any other 50K+ canon-compliant fics that you'd highly recommend, please let me know!
my other posts will be for AUs, chapter fics shorter than 50K, one-shots (might have to divide those up by theme), probably a NSFW set as well if there's interest!
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Just wondering, what‘s your favorite quality about Japril together and as individuals? :)
Hiiiii! First I'm sorry for taking some time to reply, I wanted to sit down to answer, and not through my phone, also since this is an opportunity to talk about my blorbos, even though i'm bad at talking about why i love my faves, it still got a bit long, sorry <3
With April there are two qualities that I think about right away when I think about her so I maybe those are my favorites, even though there are more that I love about her. So the first two I think about when I think about her are how kind/considerate she is and also her competitiveness lol. I feel like she's actually too kind to some people, like Alex, who treated her terribly, but with that I also love seeing her standing up for herself and becoming more confident
I love how organized she is and it's cute how in the earlier seasons she was always taking pictures with her camera, I just know she'd make the best scrapbooks. And that she's a trauma surgeon, she def became a doctor bc she wanted to help people but she's a bit of an adrenaline junkie with trauma surgenry!! Also I'm always here for weird loser girls <3
(and not a quality of hers but the way in the beginning the show wanted to convice me to hate her bc she's "annoying" and then in general her being hated in the fandom makes me love here even more, idk I feel like Sarah just makes April loveable even when she's supposed to be annoying)
Jackson, I love that he's actually kind of a dork. Like "making medicine cool" and the fact that he has a lucky pencil. I loooove his sense of humor and I love how he treats his patients, his patients are some of my favorites (also love both his and Marks approach to plastics) .He works well under pressure, and he's a quick thinker, he was a hero in season 6 finale, oh but then again I can't forget saving a child from an exploding bus in season 9 finale. And you know he's just a good guy
And them together, well first I just looooooove friends to lovers trope but especially when it's done a certain way. Like especially when we can see the characters be friends, true friends first, and then they accidentally discover there's a spark. And when that kind of ship has chemistry I'm sold!! Japrils chemistry is just unmatched imo.
I love how they're different from each other, but they complement each other soo well. Jackson is the one person who always calms April down, and Mr Grumpus is always so smiley around her and his silly side comes out. They also have the same values even though they have different beliefs, Jackson said it himself at the end of season 10 so idk why the writers went back to "nooo they would't work together bc faith". Jackson was I feel like the first mercy wester the grey sloan residents liked and he is a likeable guy, he could make friends anywhere, meanwhile even when April is friends with majac there's a lonliness to her of a girl who's kinda in the friend group bt kinda isn't, but they both have each other, like even though Jackson could make friends anywhere April is his closest friend, and Jackson is a great best friend to April, that's another thing I like about them. Plus how protective Jackson was of April since the start of season 7, dragging her away from the residents that were staring at them, punching Alex. And I think there are some parallels, even though they're soo different and they grew up so differently, they both didn't fit in with their families .
Also I'm obsessed with how touchy they are, even when they're just friends they're always touching, they're just sooo comfortable with each other <3
(screencaps show another one of their qualities, they're sooo pretty both individually and together dhfhfd)
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Saw a rather mean post last night, and genuinely, I do not understand how people can play Persona 5 (particularly Royal), and come out thinking Akechi genuinely hates Joker when Morgana outright states for the audience, "You don't really hate Joker, do you?" Akechi laments how they didn't meet a few years earlier and how they could've been "great rivals, perhaps even friends." o_O Like... is this a vanilla thing? I genuinely don't get it. The interrogation room wasn't even his idea (SIU director mentions as much). It's not even about the ship- the game spells out that their bond is more complex, and it just so happens that a lot of people like to explore it as one. Even as platonic, tho, there's a shit ton of depth. Idk, any time I see discourse (especially people making fun of Shuake fans and stuff), I just question how many people actually paid attention to the dialogue. Even the "I hate you speech" reads as him being extremely emotionally constipated and conflicted. Plus, y'know...
Very hateful. Sure. :p Idk, maybe certain playthroughs of the game remove all those moments where the game spells out that they have a special bond (Maruki even states it isn't based on hatred, but that's only if you get his third awakening). Just wish people would get off their high horses, if anything. Sometimes I see people get really condescending about liking Akechi or liking Shuake, and like... just block the tags if you don't like these things instead of posting untagged ship/character bashing and making fun of fans? At least have the decency to tag it as something that Shuake fans can filter because some of those posts are really mean-spirited. :/ You think we haven't heard it all before? I may be new to the fandom, but I have heard that this BS has been going on for years.
I don't think it really matters if there are "healthier" ship options because some of us prefer the messiness, the depth, and complexity. It's not for everyone, and I respect favoring more straightforwardly sweet and wholesome dynamics or wishing your favorite pair got more spotlight. I'm a Riku and Kairi shipper in Kingdom Hearts, for crying out loud. :P I get it, but you're not gonna win anyone over to your side by telling them that [insert ship here] is better. In my case, it makes me more averse because of how deeply their relationship in the confidant, engine room, and third sem touched me and seeing people go "yeah, but you are wrong for feeling that way, THIS is better" is just... yeah. :/ (Also, people gotta learn the difference between hitmen and serial killers. Akechi is the former, which I've ranted about before, but yeah.)
So many fandom problems could be solved if people didn't take the piss out of others for shipping something they don't personally like. x_x; By all means, feel the way you feel, it's okay to not like things.
#goro akechi#persona 5#persona#persona 5 joker#joker p5#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#not naming names but the amount of times i see people shit on shuake fans while ignoring blatant dialogue in the game#i was just trying to look for cool akechi posts last night#every time people make fun of shuake fans i like the other joker ships less and less tbh#the ship and the character mean so much to me#discourse
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Idk if I'm just slow but I recently noticed that Horimiya characters follow this theme of not being exactly who they seem to be on the outside (literally everyone).
Like how Hori was a popular girl but also a family girl too, and Miyamura seemed quiet and cold but was actually nice. Sengoku wasn't a harsh student council prez, Remi wasn't a dumb cute girl, Yuki wasn't an easygoing chill classmate. Everyone was pretty misunderstood, almost everyone except one:
Shuu Iura will always be, in my opinion, the best written character in Horimiya. Not my favorite, that spot is reserved for Sengoku, but probably one of the most complex.
I think it's due to the fact that most of the others were different on the inside but didn't really go to great lengths to hide it, usually they just didn't have people who truly understood them. However, Iura purposefully acts different around others, even close friends, and that's really neat to me.
His relationship with his sister and how he acts when he's alone compared to when he's with his friends is so real, and it's very well done. He's exaggerated and loud at school, and everyone knows people like that irl. His switch around from "class clown" to "mature and protective older brother" was something I definitely didn't see coming, and the fact that he wasn't just the comedic relief like I thought he would be was refreshing.
It's a different kind of interesting character trait compared to "the bullied kid" or "the smart kid" that Miyamura and Sengoku follow, and I've always loved the whole "im so silly but actually im pretty serious" character type.
I find characters who put on clownish fronts to be rather interesting, especially because his classmates and his friends don't know his true personality with the exception of maybe Tooru. Even at the end of the show, when the gang was close, he was still hiding his true personality from them.
#horimiya#shuu iura#big brothers <3#clownish characters who are actually pretty serious#why is that not a tag#character study#kinda
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hi!!!! I was rereading the shifting mirrors and holding it together since you finished joining together recently (it’s SO good, it’s so so SO good, your writing is always so well done and flows so well) and I had a couple questions. Sorry if this is weird - if you don’t want to answer them feel free to ignore this ask, I’m just curious!
1.) did you start writing joining together while you were still posting holding it together? a lot of the details I noticed in HIT were referenced in JT, and I was just kind of like ‘that’s a LOT of details to remember’ so I was wondering if you were working backwards !!
2.) have you ever thought about what happens at the end of HIT? do you think they would actually end up stopping the apocalypse, or would the commission try to come and correct them? I thought that was interesting - that the commission said they were done with five, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re done with the offshoot timeline ; if they hadn’t interfered prior, that would mean they were still on track for an apocalypse, right ? I like to speculate about this. with sheer strength of will I think that five would probably end up stopping it, mostly because he knows how to work through his rage rather than act on impulse again - and now he has the knowledge to try and connect the others so that viktor doesn’t feel so isolated.
3.) what was your favorite part of writing the story / what kept you motivated to keep it going ? I’ve started a couple chaptered fics, and then I get three or four chapters in and lose it completely.
I love, love, love the world youve created - I love the characters youve built and the personalities behind them. the dedication youve held on to to keep the series going is admirable; I can barely write 20k, much less hundreds of thousands of words. I was actually thinking of asking your permission to maybe write an offshoot of your offshoot (it might be the thing that gets me back into writing for tua) but idk if I’d have the imagination or creativity to make it nearly as compelling and fun as yours. Congratulations and great work on finishing it !! <333
this got long - feel free to ignore it if it’s overstepping or weird, lol !! I hope you’re doing well - have a great night, shark :)
Hey Toby! Glad you enjoyed it all so much and thanks for the kind words! It's a little surreal to have it done, JT has been a WIP almost as long as I've been into TUA.
I started writing JT before HIT. This whole series was supposed to be a Just For Me Fun Project while I rotted alone during the pandemic that I ended up sharing with permission from orsumfenix and encouragement from friends. I was a bit into JT, I think, when I started thinking about how fun it would be to get more siblings in here, and those musing became HIT. HIT got posted first because it had a lower barrier for entry, with more focus on the Hargreeves we know instead of OCs. So, because the stories were written more-or-less simultaneously, it was easy to reference one or set up something for the other. Working forwards and backwards, with the end of JT already written (in a rough draft) when I was writing HIT, so I knew where Rob, Sarah, and Number were coming off of at that point. (The tiny detail I'm most fond of is Allison in HIT noting that Number broke his nose at some point, and then in JT we get to see the stupid scenario in which he broke his nose.)
(rest under a readmore because I ramble)
I do have thoughts on what happens after HIT! More of a time jump, to Number's Apocalypse Week, and I've got words in a WIP started about that (and a few snips shared in my snip tag, although some I think I've changed some of the details, now). It goes... less smoothly than it should, for a guy who has (almost) all the details he needs. If motivation continues, I'll share that eventually. If it doesn't, I'll word-vomit an outline so at least people who are interested can know how it goes down. I don't see the Commission coming back - the people obsessed with Five are dead, and the organization is done with him. They don't have the resources to spare to keep going after him, so at least in Five and Number's timelines, they're out of the Commission's scope.
What kept me going was a combo of things. 2020-2022ish, I had a fuckton of time. I only worked three days a week because of covid protocols, I couldn't go anywhere because of covid, and I couldn't see anyone because of covid. I had four days a week to fill, and a lot of that time got filled with writing - all of HIT and the first draft of JT happened during this time, plus all the other fics I published throughout that time. What kept me going is that I was having a ton of fun writing and fun interacting with other people about my fics. Love, love, love talking about them (so never apologize for an ask like this, every fic writer is begging for an excuse to ramble like this). I liked thinking about the characters, thinking about Number doing mundane things I was doing made them more interesting, I liked thinking about Rob and Sarah's little romcom life, and I'm fascinated by Five's whole deal. My favorite part of writing these is Five (both versions of him) - thinking about him and how he'd react to x or y, how others react to him. I love that, at his core, he's kind of a loser. I love what an incredible vehicle for grief he is. He's a character of all time for me.
How to keep going, I don't have an easy answer for it. Some people outline, so they have the skeleton of what they're doing and where they're going. I'm not one of those people, I have an idea of the general shape and trajectory of the story and go from there, splitting up chapters as needed. I think it's important to not force it, or the writer's block gets worse and then you're stressed about writing instead of having fun with it, and that's no good - the point is to have fun. If you run out of steam, you run out of steam and you have to take a six-month hiatus until life calms down and you have words again (as a hypothetical example). Don't be afraid to poke at other ideas even if you have a giant fic unfinished. For having 25 fics on AO3, I have 35 other WIP files on my computer. Some of them have a couple hundred words, some have tens of thousands of words, some of them I'll come back to finish, some of them I won't. Such is life - some ideas have legs, others don't. I don't set out thinking "Oh this fic is going to be 50k words with 10 chapters". I just write until it feels done; sometimes that's 2k words, sometimes it's almost 200k words. The point I'm trying to make, here, is that we're all just fucking around having fun, and words flow easier when I'm remembering that and not stressing about being done or trying to finish for a self-imposed deadline. You've got it :)
Feel free to write in my little world! Would love to see what others are thinking about, what stuck with them. Just give me (and orsumfenix, if you use Number) a shoutout if you share it! And don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you've got great ideas and the chops to write them out. Don't compare yourself to me; you might write in a world I helped shape, but you've got your own voice and style to give it. I, for one (if you end up writing and sharing it), would love to hear your version of it all :)
#thanks again for the fun ask and nice words#if you want more writing advice around writer's block and don't mind scrolling i think you can find some in my 'ask response' tag#i did a half-hearted search for it but my blog is too big and i talk too much for it to be easy to find#if you scroll my ''writing'' tag i think i have stuff on writers block in there too#but the only way to get better at writing is to do more of it#in my four years of writing i've grown a lot - you can see it really plainly between my first fic posted to the last chapter of JT#hell just between HIT and JT there's a noticeable step up in writing ability#a rough draft is better than no draft and then you can edit and rewrite until it's shaped how you want it#just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you#nice things#ask response#long post
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Hehehe could I get an Arcane and/or Nimona matchup😋 I’mma yap a lot so prepare LMAOO
My name is Kathryn (or Kat for short) and I'm in school for graphic design and communications - I originally wanted to go into cosmetology to become a desairologist, but I didn't get in. I play piano, dance (hip hop, ballet, tap, and jazz), and sing. I also produce my own music.
Idk how to classify my style so I'lI say it alternates between morute, gloomy coquette, dollette, gothic, and alternative. I also lean heavily towards the feminine side of the spectrum.
I practice witchcraft and l'm also a Christian. I have a weird fascination with dolls and I collect them, specifically porcelain dolls. Like, it's so bad LMAO my friends are scared to come into my room atp!!! Literally I'm probs on someone's rob list I have one worth $400😭🙏
I also collect vinyls. I have over $600 worth of them save me…
Some of my favorite music artists are Bambi Baker, Melanie Martinez, Solya, Elita, Ha Vay, Baby Bugs, and Mercy Necromancy. I also like a lot of rock; AC/DC, Scene Queen, Delilah Bon, BANSHEE, Gurldoll, Ashnikko (she's sometimes rock), and Ennaria
I suppress literally everything until I just burst and it’s been building for two years now so uh yay😍
My humor’s honestly really weird. I can laugh at bread falling but find a really good dad joke stupid and unfunny. I also tend to match the personality of the person I'm speaking to. I’ve also been told I’m really great at comfort but I don’t know about that. A lot of people confide in me with their problems. Like a lot..🥲 not that I mind, it just gets a bit tiring
I’m more attracted to masc leaning people but I’ve also dated fems before. It doesn’t really matter to me as long as we have chemistry, but I do find myself eyeing a lot more masculine girls.. I’m kind of attracted to men, but not a whole lot.
I also don’t like touch unless I’ve known the person for at least 6 months or I initiate it. I’ve had multiple breakdowns because someone who wasn’t a “safe person” touched me without giving any warning…… I tense up MASSIVELY when someone hugs me even if I know they’re going to. The only people that don’t have that effect on me are my best friend (who I’ve known for 4 years) and my dad.
I took a state personality test and I’m exactly 50% INFP and 50% INFJ. Legit confused the test and it gave me both💀
Im diagnosed with anxiety & depression. I've been told I might have OCD, BPD and some sort of depersonalization/derealization disorder.
I believe I could have autism or ADHD. I also have heavy hallucinations that can last either 30 minutes or 2 weeks. I have major mood swings too. One minute I can literally be bouncing up and down while wanting to blow something up and then the next I’ll be crying on the floor😭
Aaanyway I think that’s enough of me yapping have a great day babes<3
Your Arcane match is…
Caitlyn Kiramman
Caitlyn would love discussing your music collection, especially rock and alternative genres
It may not seem like it, but she has a soft spot for underground bands and loves discovering new music
Caitlyn’s patient and empathetic nature makes her a great listener, offering comfort and understanding when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious
She’d be your rock during your mood swings
Provides a calming presence and helpes you through tough moments with patience and care
Caitlyn respects your need for personal space and takes care not to touch you without permission, understanding the importance of consent and comfort
Caitlyn would plan unique and adventurous dates, like exploring hidden spots in Piltover or attending underground music gigs
She herself would maybe prefer a classic restaurant one, but when she tried this she prefered this
Caitlyn would like your unique style and often compliment your outfits, even suggesting accessories or outfits that might suit your aesthetic
She’d be a bit unsure and creeped out by the doll thing, though
Caitlyn would silently encourage you to express your emotions and not suppress them
Caitlyn’s love for photography would complement your graphic design skills, and you’d often collaborate on creative projects
She would cherish quiet, quality time with you
Whether it’s listening to music together, having deep conversations, or simply enjoying each other’s company
Your Nimona match is…
Nimona
Nimona’s playful nature would match your quirky humor
She’d often make you laugh with her antics and shapeshifting abilities
Nimona would love going on spontaneous adventures with you, whether it’s exploring new places or trying out new activities
Nimona’s fierce loyalty means she’d be incredibly protective of you, always ready to stand up for you if anyone tried to harm or disrespect you
Nimona would appreciate your artistic talents and often encourage you to express yourself through your art and music
Her unconventional ways of comforting might seem odd, but they’d always make you feel better, like turning into a cute animal to cheer you up
Slowly she would learn to respect your boundaries over time, ensuring she doesn’t touch you without your consent
Nimona would love discovering new music with you and often play your favorite songs during your adventures together
Despite her tough exterior, Nimona has a deep understanding of emotions and would be there for you during your highs and lows
Nimona’s idea of a date would be anything but ordinary – from sneaking into restricted areas to watching thunderstorms from a safe spot
She’d like your unique style and individuality, often praising your confidence
#request#headcanons#matchups#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#arcane x reader#arcane#nimona x reader#nimona movie#nimona
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Hey kris! I’ve followed you for a long long time now and am so happy to see you doing your thing and active on tumblr rn. I was really really active a couple months ago and am now on here when time permits. Seeing you pop up on my dash again made me realize I don’t think you’ve ever changed your profile pic since like idk 2012 when I started following you. is there any significance behind the and symbol? I hope you’re enjoying the beginnings of fall ☺️☺️
HELLO, NONNY. 😭🙏💕💕 thank you so much for your lovely lovely message!!! i'm also so sorry that you sent this three days ago when i have actually been super absent from tumblr for the past week or so due to ✨life obligations✨🤣😭🤣!! you and i are in the same boat! super active on tumblr when we can be; otherwise.... we swing by, when life allows. 🤣
thank you so much for your question! you are correct!! 🤣 i started writing fic at age 11 on FFNET through another penname (bonus points if anyone here actually remembers what it used to be, 2001–2011 👀?) and it was a really big deal when i decided to ✨rebrand✨ after ten years! the rebrand to therentyoupay started in december 2011 (long story short: a reviewer left such a nice comment on my FFNET dramione story that it kickstarted me into actually continuing it! comments matter!!) and at the time, ampersands (&) were all the rage, and i was definitely one of the basic bitches obsessed with them. 🤣 (no millennial-"&" tattoo but i did consider it lmao. maybe I'll still get one, one day, so y'all can try to identify me in The Wild lmao.) therentyoupay is from one of my favorite quotes. 🥹🥹🥹💕💕 (does anyone know? 🤣)
so, that following summer in 2012, lok came out and i was lured into making a tumblr! unsurprisingly, my avatar/icon slid over from FFNET/ao3 into tumblr, as did my penname, and i will likely keep it for the rest of my life 🤣 therentyoupay/kris(which isn't my real name👀)/TRYP have now all been associated with this account and my fics for so long that it would cause great confusion and, quite probably, losses in the community i've built over the years!! so TRYP i shall remain forever 🤣
i also personally get so confused when long-term friends on tumblr change their icons and URLs... it's like i no longer recognize them! i have a spreadsheet with everyone's URLs over the years, their names, etc., so i can keep track... but i was also off tumblr for three years during the pandemic 😅😅😅 so i have lost track of a lot of people 🥹 that's why i always really appreciate when people leave a note in their profiles/pinned posts about their previous URLs and a name to call them by! (whether it's a fake name or not lol) otherwise i don't have a name for them–they're just their URL lol, and their "face" is just their icon. 🤣
and yes, i totally am!! 🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃 i'm feeling so lucky and so grateful for all the amazing things happening in my life right now 😭🙏 if only 2012!kris had any idea what was in store for her.... 🤣💕💕💕
LOVE YOU, NONNY. TAKE CARE AND HAVE AN AMAZING REST OF YOUR WEEK. 💕💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕 thank you so much for this beautiful ask!
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Highlights From My Bells Hells Playlist
So I have a Bells Hells playlist that has some really perfect songs if I do say so myself, and I want to talk about my choices! So here's some of my favorites. (Here is the full playlist btw, with songs ranging from word-for-word-perfect to Just The Right Vibes Idk Man)
Rule #2 - Moonlight by Fish in A Birdcage For Orym :) About a person on the moon singing to their lover on Earth. "All I want is to come home to you." Is this song about Will or about Dorian? I think it's even better because it works for both. There are lines that are for Will and lines that are for Dorian and it's all mixed up and full of longing and in light of recent confessions? Just perfectly heartbreaking. "Finally broke down / Houston, please come in / There's someone that I need to talk to / Honey, how've you been? / I miss you, my dear / There's something that I have to say" "It's good to hear your voice / I'll tell you what the world looks like from up here / there's hurricanes / and blizzards too / please stay safe and warm 'til I get to you"
Control by Halsey For Laudna. This one is very straightforward. "And all the kids cried out please stop you're scaring me / I can't help this awful energy / Goddamn right you should be scared of me / Who is in control?" The rest works pretty well too, there's more lines that feel Very Delilah, it just works.
Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives For the whole party! I happened to get into this song right when the whole "powder keg" conversation happened, and it's only gotten more relevant. "Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me." It's great it's perfect it's them. "What happens now? / Do we have another go / Do we bow out / And take our seperate roads / I'll admit I've had my doubts / But I want to be let in not out" "Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad / And you would always crack / And we'd both be laughing in the end? / Now you're not so quick to forget"
Moving in Place by Shauna Dean Cokeland This song is so Ashton. It's about using drugs as a teenager and feeling stagnated, blaming things on other people, drowning in daydreams where you're awesome, spending time with a group of friends you really care about.... It works quite well. (I also really recommend this song if you have ADHD/use music to stim, it's got really great overlapping vocals and kinda scratchy sound--this is the song I put on when my brain is eating itself and no other music can get through to it. It's great.) "Take me to the far side of the beach / Before it falls into the ocean / Before you notice I'm eroding / I know you don't wanna be lonely / I know 'cause I would feel the same thing" I'm having trouble picking out specific quotes because they're all really wordy and long, but trust me it works and it's a great song.
Soap by The Oh Hellos Ashton! I especially like this for Ashton and Orym (platonic or romantic both are good) but it also works for Ashton and the Hells—and once again, this song hits even harder after the shard incident. As far as picking specific lines I just want to quote like the whole song, but I'll exercise some restraint. "I've heard since I was younger / That oil and water don't mix / They're polar opposites / With a molecular rift you can't fix / But I swear with all your burnt bridges / You can leech what's caustic and find / A rudimentary lye / Some kind of miraculous bind" "Oh, no / I think I'm not quite ready / To let you circle the drain / All the things we've broken / Can be puzzled together again / All your sums and your pieces / Are enough to clean up all / The messes you've made" "I think that you're worth keeping around. I think that you're worth holding onto." "I've heard if I were tougher / Then maybe I'd make it alive / I've got a tender side / I'll need a harder shell to survive / But if seeing is believing / I don't know I've seen a thing grow / Without an open coat / Not without a softness showing / I know maybe you're not quite ready / To loosen your hold / On the safety blanket you've been keeping around your shoulders / But your sums and your pieces / Are enough to make you whole / You gotta let go" "It's gonna hurt like hell / but we're gonna be well / I'll give you my best shot" Oops I basically just quoted the whole song. But look how perfect it is!!
The Leaving of Liverpool (folk song; I like this version by The High Kings) This one's for Dorian! Specifically, for Dorian leaving :( It's an old folk song about going away from home and leaving your love behind. It's not as character specific or detail heavy, but it just feels so right for Dorian having to leaving Orym and Fearne in Jrusar. "So fare thee well my own true love, and when I return united we will be. It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me, but my darling, when I think of thee." My mom and I go to a Celtic Christmas concert every year, and one of the last songs is always this one. Everybody knows it, and they invite us all to join in the chorus. It's a beautiful moment, and I'm so grateful to Brian O'Donovan, the host, who passed away this year. He brought so much joy and gave so many people a piece of their home to enjoy here. He will be missed.
Canary in a Coal Mine by The Crane Wives If the title didn't clue you in, this one's for FCG! It's not just because of the mine, though, it all works really well. This song is about the 'canary', who puts so much into a relationship, doing everything to keep their partner happy and support them, but fears that when they need help themself their partner will abandon them. "Feed me promises, keep my heart well / I'll sing you songs until the darkness does recede / But if in the end I lose my voice / Will you forget about your love for me?" "Let the dirt hang heavy in your chest / Drag me deeper down the long, dark ground / Know that all my love will your breath / I will save you when your lights go out"
Bonus: A Convocation of Fauns (A Faunvocation If You Will) by the Oh Hellos Fearne. The title says it all. (It's just instrumental lol)
#neph's fandom songs#critical role#orym of the air ashari#laudna#bells hells#ashton greymoore#ashrym#dorian storm#dorym#fresh cut grass
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Hello stranger, I saw you asking about gen v supe names so I come bearing offerings:
For Marie, the best I've heard so far is Heartstring (which I think would work especially well if we're imagining vought's influence, and trying to push Marie as the new Starlight) I also like Heartstopper and Queen of Hearts, but I think those lean more towards villain names
For Emma, she could keep Cricket, but I like the idea of her picking something to do with her giant form, so: Giantess, or Colossa, or Titania
For Jordan, (now realistically vought would chew them up and give them the most cliche, cringy name possible, but ignoring that) my personal favorite is Pulse or Pulsar.
For Cate, I've seen Push as a good option, but I also like Siren, Whisper, or Piper (as in like the pied piper)
For Andre, I hate to say it but I think he'd just take up Polaris. Though I also think Magneta, (I know it sounds like magneto but TB universe doesn't know that) or Steel would work, I could also see Vulcan (the Roman god of metal) being cool but that might be too niche. (Metallo would be my first choice but it's been used sadly)
For Sam, tbh Sam's powers are pretty stock, so he could probably pick anything he wants. I could see him taking up something that follows the same format as his brother, so: _____ boy (ironically the first choice that I think would come to Sam's mind is superboy, but that is of course off limits, though personally, I'd find it hilarious) maybe Ultra Boy or Power Boy, or the Strong Man (who am I kidding these are all terrible, I've got nothing for Sam... Super Sam?)
Really though when you look at naming conventions (both in the boys and in superhero tradition overall) a lot of heroes' names don't have a ton to do with their powers and are either: highly generic (Superman, Mr. Fantastic, Captain Marvel, Wondee Woman etc) or have to do with a gimic that isn't necessarily related to their powers, so there's actually quite a bit of wiggle room, to just pick whatever sounds good.
Omggg these are great, I wanted to write an au set in the near future, where the cast had their superhero names so thank you for this if you would kindly allow me to steal these names for that purpose 👀👀
Heartstring is so good, it fits Marie so perfectly I gasped because yes exactly. I was thinking Emma should have a name change to kind of symbolise her regaining her autonomy from her mother with how she was forced to portray herself, I'm feeling Titania tbh. I really really like Pulse for Jordan simple effective love love love. Siren for Cate is insane cause not only does it encompass the nature of her powers but it also speaks to how she's used them, how she's lulled her friends into a false sense of security then caused them harm (wiped their memories) like yesssssssss. Ugh this is such a good listttt. Andre I think would change his name from the one he'd inherit from his dad, I was workshopping something like Silver Bandit, Heavy Metal or Ironclad (already in marvel lmao fml) or Steel Knight to pay homage to his rebel without a cause energy. I wanted just Steele but that's already a version of superman I think, John Irons I believe holds that mantle. I think even just Ultra would work as a name for Sam. Or maybe just The Boy like how Kimiko's The Female idk.
Thank you this is so helpful!!!!!
#gen v#gen v amazon#gen v spoilers#marie moreau#jordan li#the boys#cate dunlap#andre anderson#emma meyer#sam riordan
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