#but for now this blog isn't very priority

[pvssykill]

got any good hentai, to read or watch, that involves your hard kinks

one of the most fucked up hentai comics I've ever read is Metamorphosis (Emergence) by Shindo L or 177013...the sex scenes are hot asf but like I said it's veryyy fucked up

OH and an (objectively bad) anime called Redo of Healer...the sex scenes are pretty rough

[tetsuskei]

synopsis: when a coworker brings their baby to work, that sets off the gears in kuroo's head to have some of your own

notes: first installment of oh, baby! repost from my old blog, with some editing done. please enjoy!

warnings: mentions of kids, unprotected sex, praise, body worship, cock warming, kuroo is horny on an astronomical level

interactions and reblogs are appreciated!

at first, everything is innocent. tetsurō knows his coworker only means well. but tetsurō should've expected that when ‘bring your child to work day’ came at the jva, that he'd encounter at least one infant.

his coworker asks him if he wants to hold their baby after catching him stare at the small child in awe. the resemblance between coworker and child clearly evident. he's so amazed at how strong genetics could be.

then tetsurō wondered how strong his own genetics would be when it came to your children.

to recall back, the conversation of children came up briefly between the two of you. you both decided that it would be logical to wait a little while before trying to have any. kuroo was focused on building up his career and so were you. you just wanted to have your priorities straight and be responsible. nothing's wrong with that, right?

and so the conversation had been left with a pin in it and you both moved on in life. you would question when to have children later.

when holding the child in his arms, kuroo only panicks for a moment (were babies always this small?) before the child naturally curls up into his chest. their tiny hand grabs ahold of his (ridiculously) large pinky before continuing to sleep soundly. they even coo with joy.

"they seem to really like you!" his coworker laughs. "you seem to be a natural with kids!"

tetsurō only crinkles his nose in confusion but he can't help the fluttering in his chest at those words. "i'm not really doing anything but holding them."

they laugh again and nod with understanding. "sure, but you seem to be the type to make a great father, kuroo-san. you're a good person. very patient and understanding. by the way, when do you and the missus plan to have kids?"

and so having been asked the question sent him on a spiral.

by the time he's asked, several years have passed since your first conversation about kids. both you and him are financially stable. you're both lucky enough to live comfortably, and you're both happy where you are in your careers. most importantly, you're both married.

honestly, just the thought of being married to you and having a little family turns kuroo on too much. but he wants to have a family that's better than the broken one he had growing up. the best thing he can do for his kids is show them a healthy and long lasting relationship with their mother. and god does he know he can do that. he loves you so damn much his heart aches. he'll walk across fire for you, and the best part is that he knows you'll do the same for him.

the man isn't really present for the rest of the day, having to be called out during a meeting for being unfocused, and eventually sent home after he lies and says he isn't feeling well. and it's partially true, because now that he knows he wants kids, he feels an empty hole in his chest almost as if a part of him is missing.

and if being 'sick' means trying to conceal the boner in his slacks, then so be it. he doesn't want to relieve himself of his problem, no. not when the only thing on his mind is cumming inside of you raw.

tetsurō comes home to the smell of your cooking, his second favorite scent right after you. just seeing you makes him crazy. he'd been thinking about putting a baby in you all day. his hands itching to get started.

you haven't seen him yet, but tetsurō doesn't waste anymore time. he simply eyes you intently, taking time to admire you and all the soft curves of your backside. your perfect ass. you feel the warmth of him before seeing him and that's enough to startle you.

a small gasp leaves your mouth as you look up at him surprised before a honeyed smile appears on your face. a smile that's only reserved for him. "hi! you're home earlier than usual."

he returns your greeting with a grin. "hi beautiful, how was your day?" he tugs you into his grasp. lean arms encasing you in his hold as he rests his chin on top of your head and massages your hips.

hips he knows that will bare his children.

"it was good tetsu, are you hungry? i'm finishing up dinner now, and we can talk about your day." you respond, focus retuned to the stove in front of you.

he has to admit, the food smells delicious, but he's hungry for something else this evening. and unfortunately he'll have to endure an earful from you later about letting the food get cold, but he doesn't mean any harm. he just has priorities.

he hums, turning you fully towards him. his eyes lower and become stuck on your stomach. brain stuck on the thought of you being round with his child. you would look so cute pregnant. your breast would be filled with milk, too. maybe you'll let him taste—

"'ro?" you voice snaps him from his thoughts. you try to make eye contact with him and he only smiles, not registering a single thing you just said. his large hands take your face in his hold and you feel his calloused fingers run over your cheeks before he kisses your nose and then all over your face.

"tetsurō, what's gotten into you?" you giggle. you didn't mind his affection, don't get it wrong, but there was something oddly...intense about the way he's acting that you know something is up.

the ravenette seems to contemplate his thoughts, carefully reeling over the words in his mind. "i just thought that...maybe we should start...tryin', that's all." he mumbles, mouth pressing kisses all over your skin. you shiver at his touch, at the way his scent and body crowd in on your space.

ah, there it is.

your cheeks heat up, and you know exactly what he means. his words always slur slightly when he's turned on, almost like he's delirious or hooked on lust.

that paired with his cock poking your backside through his slacks.

tetsurō only continues. "today my co-worker brought in the cutest little baby i'd ever seen. looked just like 'em, too. i didn't really understand how children could make someone so happy...but i'm startin' to." he explains, tugging off your pants and underwear in one fell swoop, the cold air hitting your folds makes you jump.

you swallow nervously, "tetsu—"

"made me realize how cute our kids could—will be. they'd be the cutest in the world, i'm sure. wonder if they'd have my eyes and your smile. and hopefully they'll inherit your hair or else we'll be in trouble." he laughs before he undoes his tie, then his shirt, and tosses the garments somewhere on the floor. his belt is undone next and he's quick to unfasten his pants.

you eyes widen, and your heart fastens at the mental image of a tiny child in your arms, the spitting image of you and kuroo.

your husband pauses again, his brows knitted in thought. "do you think...that i can be a good father? for our kids?" he leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes for a moment as he must be pondering the very question.

“of course.” you nod slowly. "i don't think so, i know so. you'll be great with our kids, tetsu." you answer, running your fingers along his jaw.

"yeah?" he breathes, pulling down his pants along with his boxers. "do you still want some?" he moves your body so that you're sitting safely on the counter away from everything else.

"w-with you? yes..." you answer, voice getting caught in your throat as he prods his fat tip at your entrance. you're already soaked enough that you know he can just...slide right in.

kuroo's breathing becomes extremely labored and his gaze darkens at your words. his single strand of restraint is being pulled taut. "then can we? can we start trying, sweets?" his hands are groping at your chest and hips, and he riles himself up the longer he touches you without relief.

you barely say 'yes' before he pushes himself into you, his jaw going slack as he is enveloped by you, cunt warm and inviting and gummy walls pleasurable beyond means.

his eyes glass over and he's completely enamored by the fact that he can be this close to you. that you trust him to hold you like he is now.

you look up at him with near helplessness as his grip on your legs doesn't loosen up. the stretch of him never is something you think you can get used to, as you feel yourself struggle to adjust to his size. the heavy and thick fullness of his cock is intense. you can feel how it throbs with need.

"do you think—" he moans as your cunt drags over his cock, sucking him in more, "that they're going to be interested in volleyball?" he lets his tip kiss your cervix and you keen, causing a groan to escape his mouth. "you think they're gonna be a middle blocker like me?"

"are you really asking me that right now?" you sigh, fingers frantically gripping the counter beneath you. you move your hips against him and hope that will shut him up.

spoiler, it doesn't. "why not—fuck, just like that baby—it's a genuine question." he buries his face in the side of your neck, and the smell of your lavender soap invades his senses before his teeth choose to bite and scrape at your skin.

"you're such a volleyball nerd, tetsu." you laugh but soon moan as both of your hips move synchronously. "when are you not thinking about it?"

he huffs out a laugh, pressing a kiss to your temple as he presses you further into the kitchen counter. his lips linger against your skin before you felt them curve into a smile. "when i'm busy thinking 'bout your cute self, which is definitely more than volleyball."

you tried to formulate a response but only a refined moan escapes your lips again as kuroo pounds you. the sound of skin on skin filters out any remaining thoughts you had.

"you don't understand how crazy i've been goin' today." he grunts, nearly delirious in the way you cream on him so well. he can already feel himself twitch with the need to cum but as much as he wants to, he wants this moment to last a bit longer. he can't cum before you.

one of his hands lace with your own as he regards you. "been thinking about all the different ways to get you pregnant. of all the cute little maternity outfits you'll wear. of me taking care of you when you get tired and your feet ache. you're going to look so pretty carrying our baby, sweetheart."

he's rambling and you're not even sure if he's talking to you or if he's talking directly to your womb. but his words alone are enough to bring you to your first orgasm, pussy clamping down hard on his cock.

"jesus christ," he groans, struggling to keep composure, "it's like your cunt is trying to suck the life out of me."

you only whimper, legs quivering in a way you didn't know they could as you slip them tighter around his waist. with the way kuroo is bullying your insides he just might be successful at his agenda of getting you pregnant tonight.

he moves your legs over his shoulders, laying you down so your back is pressed against the cold surface of the marble counter. the new angle he decides to rut in you at causes you to cry out in surprise.

"so perfect, so pretty like this split on my cock. gonna be even prettier filled with my cum." his head bows so that he can kiss you and you eagerly meet his lips, the taste of him comforting, addicting, and familiar all at once.

he brings one hand down to your clit, moving his fingers methodically over your bundle of nerves as he coos and encourages you to cum again.

"tetsu, please," you whine, "you feel so good, wanna have your babies." the need and anticipation of getting your husbands cum is starting to make you frustrated yet needy all at the same time. yet the way he's making you feel right now makes you want this moment to last forever.

he must sense what you're feeling and hums, kissing you again sweetly. "oh you're not understandin' me princess," he breathes, hips moving in an animalistic way. "i'm gonna have you knocked up by the end of tonight. that's a promise."

"you promise?" you look up at him with doe eyes, mouth parted as little moans still escape you.

he'd give you the world if you asked. he'd pluck the sun from the sky, too. when he presses his forehead to yours he only professes his love to you like he's saying his vows for the first time. he can feel the tightening of his balls and burning pit in his abdomen as his release creeps up on him.

and when he pinches your bundle of nerves, you cum again for a second time. your eyes roll back in your head and your nails dig deeply into the muscle of his broad shoulders.

tetsurō nearly doubles over when his orgasm follows, and he spills thick, white cords of cum into you. his golden eyes look at you and you swear he cums just a little more from the eye contact you two hold. the hard throbbing and pulsing warmth he provides you makes you clench around him again, a feeling of wholeness and elation when you're finally full of him.

you're both incredibly still for a moment and you just hold each other. he sits you up with regard, and you brush back his sweaty fringe. his large hands massage your muscles before he carefully carries you to your shared bedroom.

he sits down and you realize you're both still very connected.

"t-tetsu!" you grab onto him, eyes widening as your taken by surprised at the new angle.

"fuck..." he hisses.

there's something sensitive in the way he moves inside of you, and you're not sure if that has to do with his cum inside of you or your cunt trying to hold in every drop.

kuroo always liked the notion of kissing your ring finger, because it reminded him that the two of you are joined—united. you start to speak but he does before you can even formulate the words.

"i hope you don't think we're done here." he murmurs, and by the twitch of his cock you know he's serious. him and his damned stamina. exhausted, you only shift your trembling hips to prepare for more.

it's looking to be a long night.

and so it's not surprising when several weeks pass by and when said coworker asks him again about kids, he proudly shows them the ultrasound photo hidden away in his wallet.

he only hopes that after baby number 1 you won't mind more.

taglist (send an ask to be added): @boosyboo9206 @milkteeboba @kodzukenmaaa @honeybleed

[reading-comp-posting]

are you taking a break again?

This situation is all very annoying. It feels like every other post I make these days is about how I feel bad, which isn't the sort of thing that I want to post and also is undoubtedly something that you people don't really care about.

But yes, this blog is low on my list of priorities right now due to predominantly mental health reasons, including some fun new mental health reasons that I can't say I've ever experienced before

[obeymissmaddy]

Don't message me until after you've fully listened to/ followed the instructions I've given you in my intro above, subby. Once you have obeyed me, message me: ''Initial sent Miss Maddy''. I'll then reach out to you as soon as possible and will gradually allow you into my world, as my weak and pathetic owned wittle subby wallet. ⓘ

It was your destiny to find my blog. Along with all of the other tumblr simps who fully succumbed to the gravity of my control. It has always been your destiny to let my voice and captions take you deeper than you ever thought possible. This is who you are subby. This is it. You were always meant to be my owned subby and mine alone. I'm here to give you the ownership that a little bitch like you craves. You can't help yourself. You need the most powerful woman in the world to take hold of you. To turn you into complete and utter mush. Lucky for you, you just found her. That tingle you are feeling right now? That good little feeling? That's my power and complete control over you setting in.

My power is the most captivating power you will ever have the honor of experiencing. Being my owned little bitch is who you are and were always meant to be. To begin your journey with me, which is one of a kind, go and listen to my intro above. Savor the experience, my owned little bitch. I'm generous for allowing you to even hear me speak. Let me guide you, subby. Let my voice, the thought of me and my captions completely own you. Let me in. Fully. Drop and fall deep for me right now. Drop and submit. Obey your Mistress. This isn't just ''kink''. This goes far far deeper. I always like to look for the deepest dynamics. I'm not just here to have fun. I'm here to own every single morsel of your being and take you to depths you didn't even know existed. I enjoy mindfucking you until you can't even understand what's happening all the while I consume your every waking moment for the rest of your life while I sit back, relax and enjoy my life of luxury while you toil away day after day, just for me. I'm an experience unlike any you have ever experienced. I'm your actual destiny, puppy.

I'm here to make all of your wildest dreams come true. But not in the way that you think. My dreams will become your dreams. My happiness will be your happiness. Oh wait, it already is. Wasn't that easy. I'm fully aware of my power, subby. Serving me is your priority now. I'll gladly give you that pleasure, my weak little subby.

Everything led you to me, my sweet toy. I see you.

I don't do vapid, boring or shallow domination. I enjoy building deep connections with my subs that understand and embrace their place far, far, far below me and that grovel to kiss the ground I stand on. Let's be very clear here, I don't need your money. I'm beyond set for life. I do this because I love owning and completely controlling my subs, in every single way imaginable. It's so fun and enjoyable to me. You know you will never be worthy of me. But what you are worthy of is being my lowly and pathetic, weak and fully owned servant for life. I was made to own. You were made to give, loser. ━ When you send me all of your cash you don't just send me your cash. You give me what has always belonged to me. Being my owned wallet is what you were always meant to be. This is your nature, subby. To give to me and me alone. I don't care if you are a ''sending virgin'' or have sent to others before, I'm here now to completely own you. I'll have you weak for me at all times. I'll give your life purpose unlike you ever thought possible. It's happening right now subby. The moment you came across my blog it was already done. This is the only reality for you, my sweet toy.

Take the plunge, for me, right now. That is a genuine order simpy. Do it right now. Take the plunge for me, right now. ━ Or rather, as soon as you finish reading this and have listened to my intro above hahah. You finally found me, little bitch. The woman you have been waiting for your entire life. I'm here now. Ready to own you and take charge. To give you something to always look forward to. Dive in for me subby. I'm your owner. I always have been and always will be. This isn't a dream. This is reality. Welcome home. Welcome to your reality.

You can call me Miss, Mistress (Maddy), Miss Maddy or Mommy, whichever you freaks prefer, all of those are fine by me.💗

A cute little ''review'' from one of my owned little subbies: ''I honestly wish I’d found you sooner, Miss Maddy. Every day I wake up feeling grateful and full of joy knowing I’m completely yours. You’ve given my life so much more meaning than I ever expected. I’d do anything for you, Miss. Thank you for everything.''

[hailthedoll]

Hiiii i love your blogs i’ve been following gaga for AT LEAST a year now and i’m so happy your back! Could you write a NSFW Euronymous hc? Anything NSFW please i'm needy.

✭ euronymous nsfw headcannon ✭

i love you so much for one requesting and two following my page for that long. thanks bitch<3 PSA, if you do not support or agree with my post or feel the need to leave a hateful/judgemental comment kindly fuck off and move on. with much love-knotty<<<333

LISTEN

im gonna say this flat out, i feel like he lowkey is childish with stuff like this

like giggly

a friendly reminder euronymous and øystein are the same person with different personalities

so øystein

this man was BLUSHING the first couple times he saw you naked

then that turned into just staring at you in awe and he hasn't really stopped doing that since

hes gentle

hes more of a giver than a receiver imo

its easier for him to finish than it is for you and he knows this

so making you more so of a priority in his mind is the obvious choice

he wants to make sure you're okay and it feels good for you before he worries about himself

but when he does worry about himself this man is vocal

not necessarily dirty talk

more so like quiet moans, whispers, small grunts and sighs

he loves head tho

when he gets head those are the moments where he can be GREEDY

he pushes your head down, you choke

"shit sorry"

and then the motherfucker will do it again

i see him being very much into missionary

he wants to see you

how you react to things

how you're feeling

the look on your face tells him what he needs to be doing

he will go down whenever

for however long

if it takes all day he's got time

he enjoys it

is it the taste? is it your body twitching under him? is it your moans?

he doesnt know, but its addicting

and he's got that "nobody else makes you feel this way" or "nobody else can make you sound like this" attitude

that really gets him feeling some sort of way

he will practically beg for you to sit on his face

a million pleases until you say yes

and its like he's more excited for it than you are

him praising you

AGAIN not in a dirty talk way but more like

"you look so beautiful" while you are FOLDED

definitely would keep a polaroid of you(iykwim) in his wallet, hidden behind some cash or maybe behind a more appropriate picture of you

possessive in a doesn't want a threesome way

like doesn't want anybody touching you or seeing you the way he does

he absolutely loves to show you off and brag about you to everyone and hear people compliment you but he would never let it go past that

pre show sex

it may take some convincing or teasing him to get him to actually do it in public but after the first time he is all for it everytime

after show sex

if this man is wanting to fuck you after a show, he is still in this mindset where he isnt øystein, hes euronymous

and if that's case you're getting a cocky motherfucker

hes high on adrenaline

he just spent a solid what hour? two hours? listening to people cheer for him

like yeah this mans ego is FED

this is the time he'd be more aggressive

more vocal

yes ACTUALLY dirty talk

PRAISING

he is still more focused on you than himself but its closer to 50/50 than what it normally is

i think his actions are based on your likes

if you like your hair being pulled itll more likely happen when he's in this mindset where isn't himself and he's this persona

because øystein is worried about hurting you

not saying he wouldnt

im just saying its more likely when you get him out of the mindset of you being like this person he wants to love and protect

lets face it, he is a small man

he is not tall and he is not big nor buff

in his eyes hes like your protector

hes the man in the relationship

or the masculine(?) one

and that's just nature for him

so hurting you?

is the LAST thing he wants to do to you

ok aftercareeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

at home he's gonna cling to you

hug you, hold you, kiss you

you ever seen that picture where he was staring at the bird

did you see the way that man was staring at that bird?

you're the bird.

thats how that man stares at you

softly smiling, his eyes full of love

would probs just have you fall asleep in his arms

if you are not home

sly looks

smirks and grins coming your way

little whispers commenting about what y'all just did

and how nobody knows what just happened

like a proud moment

like yeah we did that

he'd kiss you a couple times

hold your hand

or just stare at you and smile

no matter who he is in that moment that man is GEEKING

HE just did the deed with YOU

how did he get so lucky

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Good evening (or morning, afternoon, wherever u r) to you, Miss Raven, *tips hat* How do you do?

First of all, I was reading through the your canon Malleus romance analysis and i’ve just gotta say I love how you give a realistic approach to these characters and their world! 🙌🏻

But that also got me thinking, how would Leona prioritize his romantic vs royal life?

As second born prince, I wanna say Leona actually has more breathing room to pick whoever he wants as a partner (if the royal family doesn’t arrange a marriage before he gets that chance), plus, the Sunset Savanna’s next heir apparent is already born, so really there’s nothing worry about succession unless something happens to Cheka and or Falena. But at the same time Leona is still ridiculed by his people, so will that have any affect on who he wants to be with if he happens to choose someone other than another beast(wo)man or someone in a class lower than a noble?

And even tho he isn’t first in line for the throne, Leona is still royalty. I think he could pick a partner who is more private and less sociable with their life, but I also think they still might need to be prepared for the royal life, lack of privacy, speaking with the public, and other royal duties (even if Leona himself won’t do them).

TL;DR Do you think Leona’s status as second prince actually gives him a benefit for who he can pick as a romantic partner and how would the people’s view on him affect this, and what do you think would expected of Leona’s partner in the royal life even tho he’s not first in line for the throne?

What’s your take on this?

Related posts: Malleus / Kalim

Greetings 🎵 Life’s been a bit stressful lately, but I’m getting by! Busy planning something big for the blog too, so excited for that.

I think you must be talking about that post where I discussed what the expectations would probably be for Malleus’s future spouse? Thank you for the praise though! While anyone can ship themselves or their OC with Malleus in the latter, there’s certain in-universe logic that must be followed in the former. It feels very different to be a character in that world versus an outsider looking in. Being able to switch and see from those perspectives is important, I feel.

My thoughts on this topic aren't as concrete as what I laid out for my Malleus post, mostly because Leona isn't burdened by the same expectations as the crown prince or first in line to the throne. I feel like this post will be a lot of speculation, so just be cognizant of that.

As Leona is right now, I don't think he has much of an interest or an obligation to find someone. His focus seems to be on tending to himself and his own goals to help those around him, be it his juniors (Epel, Jack, Ruggie, etc.) or his country (due to his internship at a energy and mining lab). I definitely feel like that's where his priorities lie, and anyone he might take on as a life partner would also have to have a passion and dedication for this kind of service, whether they also engage in it or they at least support Leona's endeavors.

I also think that Leona would personally want an intelligent partner that's able to hold their own in a discussion, but only to a certain extent. Like, they have to be able to coherently express their own thoughts but I don't think he wants to deal with someone so stubborn that they constantly put up a fight with him if they happen to disagree. Leona has demonstrated multiple times that he finds it a hassle when people don't listen to him, so he tries to put himself in situations where he doesn't have to face that in the first place. For example, Leona states that he dislikes Silver and Rook, as they constantly act on their own and seem to disregard anything that others around them say. Additionally, he lacks a vice dorm leader because he made the conscious decision to not pick one, as he doesn't want someone challenging his decisions. Leona also strategically caves to his sister-in-law's demands to avoid wasting time and energy in an argument, since he knows that beastwomen tend to be strong-willed. His partner would have to know when to step back and give him space or when is not a good time to keep pressing a point. That means there'd be a certain element of emotional intelligence involved too, not just general wisdom or knowledge.

In these circumstances, I don't think there would be as much of an importance placed on the social status of Leona's spouse since he's like... what? Fourth in line to rule? His father is still alive, Falena/Farena is still fine, and Cheka's there too. The chances of Leona actually having to step up to that plate are low. There's no pressing need for Leona to find a partner or to produce an heir of his own. I don't recall there being lore about his older brother and sister-in-law having an arranged marriage or what social class his sister-in-law is from, so... there's not a lot to go off of there. I think, at the very least, we can assume there's not as much pressure for Leona to be in an arranged marriage since he isn't the crown prince. I don't get the sense that Sunset Savanna is as conservative with its social expectations as Briar Valley is, so it's doubtful whether or not the public would care about a royal marrying a commoner or a beastman marrying a non-beastman. To my latter point, there doesn't seem to be as strong of a racial divide between beastmen and humans (unlike fae and humans), so I don't think this would pose a major concern. But hey, maybe they do care a lot about status since Leona's flashback keeps harping on the importance of birth order--but that ultimately has no baring on the commoner versus royal thing. Maybe this is me being too much of an idealist, but I do think it would be possible for Leona's partner to come in and prove themselves, since their reputation (unlike Leona's) isn't already marred by being second in line to the throne and having a golden child to be compared to. If anything, I feel like the people would fear for the safety of Leona's spouse rather than what their "marrying outside of the norm" means for the country. Since there's a negative public view of Leona, I feel that this would translate into worry for the spouse rather than assuming they are "just as bad" as Leona. They're an outsider with a completely separate background from Leona's, and that I doubt that most people have the magic to rival his strength. Where would their fear of the spouse be reasonably coming from? I think the more likely situation would be the public feeling sympathy for the spouse (like, what if Leona's magic harms them) and wondering what they must see in the second-born prince. There might be a lot of gossip or concerns swirling around their courtship, little judgmental whispers and passing glances that are hard to avoid, maybe some hissed warnings to be careful around Leona, etc. The spouse should be careful how they react to public opinion though, as lashing out could make them be perceived as ill-tempered and crude, a poor reflection of both their own attitude as well as confirming preconceived notions of Leona. They should be equipped to handle socially complicated situations with grace and tact. When it comes to Leona, they should also be ready to provide him with some emotional support—not as a therapist he trauma dumps to or anything like that, but as a trusted and nonjudgmental confidant.

I think the spouse would receive the harshest scrutiny should they step into a more public-facing role… like if they started to enact or push for policies that go against the country’s reverence for nature and living in harmony with it. They would most certainly get pushback for it, maybe earn ire for not being “attuned” with its people. Leona’s spouse would, at the bare minimum, be expected to represent the values of Sunset Savanna and to engage in its ceremonies and traditions. For example, Leona—the second prince—is meant to train the winners of the Bead Brawl. Whatever royal duties are set for the spouses of the royal family… well, they should be prepared to fulfill them.

On the subject of privacy and sociability, it might actually be a drawback if Leona’s spouse were private and not sociable. Not being seen or interacting in public very often means people are left to their own devices and assumptions—and if Leona is the first person they associate with his spouse, it could lead to the public forming negative thoughts. "Oh, they're withdrawn because they don't care about us. Oh, they must be moody and hard to get along with." There’s a lot of earning trust that has to be done, especially if Leona intends to enact social reform, so I think it would make for better optics if his spouse really put themselves out there and was proactive in the community. Instead of framing themselves as a shut-away or some rando that married into the royal family, they have to be willing to step outside of their comfort zone and act like a leader if push comes to shove, show how outgoing and determined they can be.

Last thought I have on this matter I guess is related to how Leona’s loved ones would react. I don’t think the named characters would care about the details all too much?? Farena appears to respect his brother and treats him warmly, even when Leona brushes him off. He’d want Leona to be happy and at his best mentally and emotionally when and if he decides to help govern the country. And Cheka, well… maybe he’s a little too young to fully understand what’s going on, but I think he’d want his uncle to be happy too. I’d say even Kifaji would be on board with it, though perhaps not as openly as Farena or Cheka. He’s a stern older man, so I can absolutely see him scolding Leona and nagging him about his choice of partner—but in the way that a concerned grandparent would, you know? Not in an outright malicious way like the Briar Valley senators might. Unlike them, Kifaji can see the good in his prince and wants the best for him, even if he comes off as too overbearing at times. Kifaji doesn't unnecessarily act vitriolic or belittling to Leona, he states truths (that Leona acts improperly at times) and earnestly expresses his wish that Leona recognizes his own potential. He'll probably pull up to interrogate the spouse (because he cares that Leona marries someone who loves and values him), but ultimately give his blessings along with a plea for them to take good care of his second prince.

[seeds-and-sins]

Light My Fire - Part Eight

Pairing: Ben "Soldier Boy" x Reader

Rating: M (Crude Language, Curse Words, Sexism, minor references to sex, WARNING: talks about death and self-harm)

Description: Phoenix tries to rectify the missing pieces within herself, but she struggles to figure out how.

Tagged: @tonixe@chernayawidow , @deans-spinster-witchs-favorites, @ophennie@virgoelf-blog , @my-obsession-spn, @capricxnt @demodemo909 @boywivlove

Song: Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

"FUCK!" Homelander yelled, the tv remote broke in his closed fist. One of the flat screen televisions in the meeting room was set to channel 8 and Starlight was all over the news. Her little video had gone viral, her resignation given, Homelander thrown under the bus, this was all out war. Homelander was fuming, Ashley was gnawing her nails down to the skin, the Deep was posted at one of the chairs around the table, Agnes was sitting a few seats down from him sipping on a cup of coffee.

And you were standing there, arms crossed, staring blankly at the screen.

You were so tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from everything. Just from living really.

When was the last time you slept again?

"Okay!" Ashley squealed, "We'll fix this. We'll fix this. Please. Oh my god! Fuck!" Your eyes slid shut, her panicking died in your ears, the world silenced for a moment.

"Phoenix!" Your eyes shot open, Homelander was staring at you with a look of desperation plastered on his face. "What do we do?" Your hands tightened around your biceps and your teeth dug into your bottom lip. What do we do? More importantly, what should be done?

"We don't have time to worry about Starlight." Your voice came out hoarse, in a low whisper. The room fell quiet. "She has a loyal fan base, but they aren't as loyal as our people. I wouldn't worry about her." Homelander nodded virgorously, licking his lips. The desperation in his boyish eyes faded and what replaced it was a sharp coldness.

"You're right. We've got to find Soldier Boy."

"But we need to make a statement!" Ashley's shrill made you roll your eyes.

"Go take a fuckin' Xanax, Ashley!" You commanded, holding up an admonishing finger. Ashley's lips shut with a resounding pop and she straightened, fear crawled up her spine and glued her to the floor. "I'll talk. I know how to charm a crowd. It'll put this off until we can get shit under control." Your command came out more as a question, Homelander's jaw flicked from side to side before he nodded. "Come on Agnes." The older woman rose from the table without protest, following after your quick strides with a waddle of her own.

...

"Good Evening!" You crowned your fingers and propped them up on the podium. "I appreciate you all being here for this impromptu press conference. Given the situation, I'm sure you know there are a few things that Vought needs to address."

"Where's Homelander?" A journalist shouted from the crowd, flapping his hand above the sea of heads to get Phoenix's attention.

"Homelander is off handling more important matters." The crowd broke out in shouted questions and mixed words, journalists reaching over eachother as they attempted to flag you down. You begrudgingly pointed at a woman in the front row.

"Isn't this important? Starlight has resigned? What is the future of the Seven? Why are you up there when you're not even on the team?" It went silent as everyone waited for a response, or rather, a staccato of responses to answer a staccato of questions. You paused, thought about the significance of your next words, what they would mean. You found a camera and stared into it.

"I want to make myself very clear..." Your voice penetrated the air, the room was thick with the tone that every syllable carried. "Starlight isn't a priority. Everyday Homelander, I, and many other heroes are trying to keep you all safe. We fought overseas so that the super villain threat could be contained. I underestimated the enemy and now the super villain threat is here. Us heroes need to be doing our jobs, not starting petty battles over social media. If Starlight wants to play her games and spread her lies, slander us, she is welcome to do so. But Homelander and I are going to focus on what is important: your safety, your lives."

An intense stillness blanketed the crowd, a few camera flashes. One journalist had the gull to raise their hand, when no one else would, not after a speech like that.

"What are your thoughts on the deathes of the TNT twins? Your former colleagues?"

Good. I'm glad they're dead.

"And your friend? Crimson Countess?" Your head tilted to the other voice, you swallowed and looked down at your fingers.

"Countess wasn't my friend, and neither were the Twins." You shook your head. "Not anymore at least. Not when they turned their backs on..." You paused. Me. -- Ben. "On you. The people. Some of the strongest heroes I knew for their time, and only Noir and I remain. The others worried about their luxury condos, their ratings, movie deals, royalties. None of them cared about what really matters. I don't mourn them. I don't think I ever will."

"But what of Soldier Boy? You were there when he died, did you mourn him?"

"I-" You had to take a deep breath, the emotions that swelled in you had nearly knocked you off your feet. You cleared your throat and held back tears. "I did. I do."

Soldier Boy was still dead to you.

"Soldier Boy died so that all of us could live."

...

 🎶 So I'm back to the velvet underground.  🎶 

 🎶 Back to the floor that I love... 🎶 

Three Xanax, two blunts-going on three-and half a bottle of whiskey later, you found yourself laying on your bed in a mess of comforter and pillows. Your suit was discarded somewhere, leaving you down to nothing but your underwear. And you were just laying there, staring up at the ceiling as you smoked from a blunt and sipped from a bronze filled glass. Your record player sung in the background, mellowing out your already distant mood.

 🎶 To a room with some lace and paper flowers 🎶 

 🎶 Back to the gypsy that I was 🎶 

 🎶 To the gypsy that I was... 🎶 

What did you have?

John?

He kept you around as an extension of himself rather than as someone he cared for. You were the arms of his authority, fingers curled around your enemies with a vice grip. In reverse, he was a reflection of you in many ways, uncaring, erratic, impulsive. You knew he didn't care about you. Not truly. You weren't sure he was capable of it. Maybe with some admiration, some approval, but love was a distant thought in John's head. He only ever craved it from others. And you were more than able to provide in the past, giving pieces of yourself to John without a second thought. Now you had no more pieces left to give.

 🎶 And it all comes down to you. 🎶 

 🎶 And you know that it does when. 🎶 

 🎶 Lightening strikes maybe once maybe twice. 🎶 

Your fans?

You would rather burn them all alive, throw them in a furnace and walk away. They didn't love you. They loved the image of yourself that you fronted, but they didn't know you.

 🎶 Oh and it lights up the night. 🎶 

 🎶 And you see your gypsy (ohh, ohh) 🎶 

 🎶 You see your gypsy. 🎶 

You?

That was all you had. Herodom was a quiet life, a lonely one. But it was never about saving people or doing some good in the world. As much as Starlight thought she was making a difference, the world would never change. There would always be criminals. There would always be greedy politicans and corrupt agents of the law. The world was cold and callous and it never retreated.

And you had nothing.

You were a victim of the chaos. Vought took you in, molded you into something vile and morbid, tossed you around in a bag of salt, and hurled you into the world for their own profit.

You were an experiment.

Your lips wrapped around the end of your blunt and you took a drag. Smoke flowed from your nostrils, it floated up toward the high ceiling and you watched it swirl until it faded completely.

Your head drooped to the side and your face wrinkled as if you were about to cry, before you suppressed that urge.

 🎶 To the gypsy that remains. 🎶 

 🎶 Faces freedom, with a little fear. 🎶 

 🎶 I have no fear, and have only love. 🎶 

 🎶 And if I was a child and the child was enough. 🎶 

 🎶 Enough for me to love. 🎶 

 🎶 Enough to love. 🎶 

Through a blurry haze, your half lidded eyes spotted a figure at the open double doors leading into your bedroom. You shifted a little, squinted, then slowly sat upright.

"Ben?"

He was dressed in his full suit, arms straight at his sides.

"Hello, hot stuff." He answered casually, stepping closer. He sent you a boyish smile that reminded you of his older self, all cocky, all confident, all play, no work.

"What are you-" The blunt dropped from your hand, hitting the marble floor. "What are you doing here?" His eyes darted down your body, hovering over your naked torso a little longer than necessary before raising back to your face.

"You didn't need me?" You dropped your head, a firm hand cupped on your jaw, the touch burned into your skin and your gaze was being directed back to Ben. He felt so real. He felt solid. He felt tangible.

 🎶 She is dancing away from you now (Oooh). 🎶 

 🎶 She was just a wish, she was just a wish (ooh, ooh). 🎶 

 🎶 And her memory is all that is left for you now. 🎶 

"Am I hallucinating?" Your palms rested gently on his chest, Ben's thumb scaled your cheek and he sighed.

"No."

 🎶 You see you're a gypsy. 🎶 

"This is a dream, sweetheart."

"Of course it is," You sniffled.

"You wouldn't be able to hallucinate, even if you wanted." Another voice chimed and when you glanced over, it was Vogelbaum. "Your body can't sustain the affects of foreign substances long enough for that to happen." He was in a bloodied labcoat and his words were slightly muffled through a gas mask. Your expression lit up with panic and your head was being yanked back by Soldier Boy's hand.

"Don't pay attention to that piece of shit." Soldier Boy drew you closer with his other hand at your hip. "Just look at me."

"Why is this happening? Why am I dreaming about this?" You whispered, Ben's hand moved to cradle the back of your head.

"Because I'm the answer." You blinked at him, then tiredly moved into his body. Your arms wrapped around him and you hugged him. Ben enveloped you in return, his strong and bulky arms holding you close...

"You even smell real."

"That's what happens when you smoke a lot of dope."

"Also, the cannabis you were smoking no doubt contained traces of LSD." Vogelbaum again. You squeezed your eyes shut and Soldier Boy grunted when your arms tightened around him.

"Can he just shut up for fucks sake?" Soldier Boy inhaled deeply and he exhaled with a sigh.

"You want my advice?"

"Not really." He grabbed your shoulders and drew you away at arm's length.

"Sometimes you gotta take life by the balls, kid." You blinked at him, your head sinking toward your chest. Soldier Boy rolled his eyes before grabbing under your chin and lifting your head again. "Remember back in the day. We didn't let anybody get in our way. We owned this fuckin' place."

"Oh no." You breathed, your palms rose to your cheeks and Soldier Boy relinquished his hold on you so you could pace away from him. "It's happening. This is it. I'm having the worst mental breakdown of my life. I'm going to destroy the world."

"Only in theory." Vogelbaum piped in again, "Theoretically your body can reach temperatures bordering that of the sun and in that instance-" Soldier Boy's shield came hurtling toward him out of nowhere. The Scientist disappeared in a puff of smoke before the metal could touch him.

"I hate that guy." Soldier Boy's head tilted as he considered you. "Listen..." He emphasized with raised hands. "The only person who understands you right now is me." He stepped toward you, and you hunched in on yourself in defeat."You have me. I'm your answer."

"You're also a figment of my imagination."

"Nah, honey, I'm out there. I'm alive. Come find me."

"You want me dead out there." Soldier Boy's lips quirked up in a handsome smirk and he shook his head.

"But, sweetheart, I don't."

...

When your eyes opened, they opened slowly, the blunt had burnt out in your bed sheet and your body was sprawled out across the bed in all different directions. You blinked at the ceiling, thinking about your dream, thinking about him. The thought left a gross taste in your mouth, your stomach jumped and a weight settled in your chest.

Gosh, you wanted to die sometimes, didn't you?

What was this? What were you doing here?

Why don't you just leave and give all this up? Just like you always wanted.

Because you can't.

You were tired.

It took a few minutes of blank staring before you rose from your bed and travelled out of your room.

"God help me!" You heard a voice exclaim as you entered into the living room. It was Agnes. She made an effort to cover her gaze from your nude figure. And after all these years, she still hadn't gotten used to your ways. You squinted at her, stumbling toward the onset of the kitchen.

"What are you doing here? I told you to leave." Agnes nervously clenched and unclenched her fingers, finally lowering her hand to look at you. Your eyes connected, Agnus' wrinkles creased with a furrowed brow, with concern.

"Homelander wanted me to stay. He's worried about you." You groaned, pouring yourself another glass of whiskey and downing it back with a wince.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." You poured the next glass, sipping from it as you held Agnus' expectant gaze.

"John just wants to make sure I'm on his side." You replied in a dull tone, hunching over the countertop.

"Are you?" You didn't respond. Not immediately. Your eyes flitted around the penthouse and you took in the expanse of space that had been your home for decades.

"Maybe I don't want to be on a side anymore, Agnes." You placed your glass down and stalked over to a wall that held various photos and movie posters and memories from the old days. You scanned each photo, as you had hundreds of times, with a trained eye.

"Please. Tell me what's wrong."

"Everything I do, it doesn't matter." Your eyes paused on a familiar face, and you felt a sadness engulf the entirety of your heart.

He was so good to you. Always trying to comfort you. Always at your side when you needed him.

"Do ya'maybe want to talk about it?"

"No."

You would go find him. That was final. You were sure of it. Screw everyone else. This man. He would be the one you went to. He was the one you needed. He would tell you what you needed to do and he would be genuine. Above all. He would be genuine.

"I'm heading out for a little bit, Agnes. Alone." You took quick steps toward your room.

"Wait, wh-where are you going? Homelander told me to watch you." You didn't respond, turning to close the double doors into your bedroom. At the last glimpse between the cracks, you saw her plop onto the couch with exasperation.

[the-haven-keepers-collective]

How our plurality has become spiritual

Lately, the way we view our plurality has changed. We never did view our plurality as purely psychological- it just didn't feel right. We have a headmate of spiritual origin, a past (parallel? Time is weird) life of ours, who apparently just pops into our headspace to say something every once in a while. He mainly shows up to correct misinformation about himself amongst our collective, which we think is funny as hell. We don't view ourselves through the typical medical lens either. Our stance, in regards to origins, is the same stance we take on "how did earth come to be?"

Dude, fuck if I know, why do I care? All I care is that right now, we need to learn how live in it!

So our origin wasn't a priority. Still isn't! We just... stumbled upon a way to articulate how we feel our collective works. We'd only ever heard of spiritual plurality in relation to systems who are more than one soul, inhabiting the same body. This makes sense to us! That... never felt true for our collective, save for our one walk-in headmate. We believe in the multiverse theory; that a lot of fiction is just reality somewhere else. But some of our fictives from a shared source- myself included- don't really feel that way about our source. At one point we thought about it, and simply decided... it doesn't matter. It's real to us. That's what matters. Whether our exomemories are truly another reality, or our brain explaining our existence, or whatever the fuck... It's real to us and that's all that we care about. But it still leaves us in a rather confusing place:

If we aren't separate souls, but feel very strongly that our plurality is somehow spiritual in origin... where does that leave us? Plus, at one point we felt really icky because if we aren't separate souls, it felt like we were invalidating ourselves as separate individuals. Ultimately, the conclusion we came to was that we do have one soul. We are still more than one individual.

We believe in reincarnation, for context. We believe it works... like whirlpools (individual incarnations) in a river (someone's soul), in a way. Each incarnation is its own thing, and describing it as a shard of a soul implies a sort of "shattering" or "breaking" imagery that we don't like, but every incarnation is still part of that soul. We view our plurality as... sort of a small-scale version of that. Like a fractal, when you zoom in- it all looks the same eventually. Our soul just decided "what if I do that, but as much as I can in one life? That'd be interesting!" and now here we are with a bunch of fictional characters in our head going "dude, what the fuck?"

So, there's a long-winded explanation of how we view our plurality, for fun. Also, since we're going to be reblogging this one on our witchy/spirituality blog, I'll be signing off with the name I use there instead. At this point our practice as witches goes beyond what people typically associate with witchcraft, we just still call it witchy because... well, that's what our witchcraft looks like. Eh.

-Rayne

[matrixbearer2024]

Modernity AU Main Four Lore Snips(1/?)

Sorry for the lack of art and content on my main and my blog guys, been really busy so far given the holiday. I plan on updating things asap but for now I'll try my best to answer any asks or entertain suggestions and comments regarding the modernity AU! For now, I offer some little lore snippets that I think should be more helpful context clues. I'm not entirely sure how to slot these into my askblog in the meantime so have at thee!

Fiddleford's family comes from a successful pigery which had eventually expanded and branched out. The corporation his family actively owns distributes and sells meat products all over the world.

It's something I don't really talk about much aside from saying it's old money, but I do generally think given the current world and all that meat products could either be a hit or miss. In this case, I wondered what it would be like if his family had been successfully rooted in the business for decades. Generally speaking, it's not a guarantee and oftentimes the food production industry can have it's ups and downs. Still, I figured with the convenience and efficiency of the modern day- why not try?

So yeah, when I say Fidds comes from old money in this AU— it's old money. Like, decades old at this point. Thankfully, the Mcgucket family is generally very smart about their riches despite the fact they could quite literally throw money at everything. It's also why sometimes Fidds doesn't realize his privilege borders on rude when he's just that accustomed to a lifestyle with insane amounts of money.

Bill's necklace isn't inanimate, not that anyone knows or notices even.

That actually has a lot to do with his backstory, the demon triangle actually still does exist in this AU but this human Bill is a completely separate entity from the Euclidean. His necklace works more like a window for that chaotic piece of geometry and it's why I constantly draw it emoting or reacting to certain things around.

What I will reveal about Bill's backstory is that his entire family is part of a weird cult that worships the triangle and his role to play in most of it is generally as a homunculus. Something "human-like" or a "humanoid puppet" in terms of alchemy. He is human, just born and created for some pretty screwed up reasons. He isn't even the first, nor the last. It just so happens his siblings either died from complications growing up or during childbirth.

It's why his aunt and uncle were able to get custody of him pretty early, taken away from his biological family at the age of three and the guardianship was legally transferred when he was five. Bill's fascination with triangles in this AU isn't really unfounded, he just doesn't know the real reason why. But the scars that his blood family left behind did stick, and it's why he has such an aversion to the occult or most religious regalia.

Ford having a general lack of interest or indifference to romantic relationships actually has a lot to do with his upbringing.

Personally, I don't think Stanford would be entirely keen on the concept of "love" given how he sees the bond between his parents. That and he doesn't see how someone could turn so irrational or blind with the right cocktail of hormones. He doesn't see the objectivity in most of it so he's generally just confused or doesn't care enough to try. It's actually why he didn't even entertain Cathy's confession letter, immediately assuming it had something to do with bullying or a chain instead of anything amiable or even romantic.

He's not disgusted or has an aversion to it like many of his peers assume, he's just indifferent and doesn't have it as a priority. Ford isn't actually sure if he's ever really even fallen for somebody before, the closest he's got and is painfully aware of is just caring for somebody to a detriment without even feeling "lovey-dovey". Do with that as you will.

Stanley loves musicals, he loves watching them and listening to the soundtracks. It's just not very known because he feels like he has a reputation and he'd rather leave the "geeky" thing to his twin.

This isn't to say that he has an aversion or general distaste for being labeled as nerdy or geeky, just that he loves to knock heads with his brother for being the "cool" Stan. He first watched Wicked on broadway and then everything else soon followed, Hamilton, The Greatest Showman, Six, Dear Evan Hansen, etc., things just snowballed from there and he's been hooked ever since. His favorite probably really has to be "Six" or "The Greatest Showman".

It helps that he knows how to sing and still does, he just doesn't do it often to avoid people from making requests or asking him to perform. Stanley doesn't have stage fright like his twin, he just gets tired very easily by it when it's non-stop performing tunes he doesn't even like or know.

That doesn't stop him or Ford from drunkenly singing "The Other Side" or "Defying Gravity" at three in the morning after a weekend of partying though.

The Stan Twins for the life of them will not stop debating on whether tea or coffee is better.

Ford is jittery because of the copious amounts of caffeine he ingests and Stan sometimes wonders if you could drop from too much caffeine. He's tried to stop and only ended up sleeping like a dead man for four full days. Fidds still often refers to it as a post-exam hibernation.

On the other hand, Stan is often too aware of the crash his brother gets and would rather sleep more often than end up shaking and twitching non-stop from caffeine. He does need the boost though, so he drinks tea.

Bill usually often thinks that it's like trying to watch oil and water mix while eating breakfast with the Stan twins given that most of the conversation is just swallowed by this debate. His guess is it has a lot to do with the fact Ford is not a morning person and he makes it everybody's problem.

Fiddleford loves horseback riding and it's a hobby he's had ever since he was a kid. He has a stable and field for his horses. Fidds both buys the horses and pays for their care with his own allocated allowance.

It's not really even because he's into cowboys and everything, he just finds them very sweet animals and genuinely interesting. They're basically bigger and faster dogs in his mind. Most of the horses Fidds buys aren't even wild, they're retired horses that most owners would already decide to get rid of because their either aged or far past their use(carriage horses, racehorses, etc.).

Fidds' favorite horse which he's had for around 15 years now is a retired deep brown racehorse named "Marlboro". That horse is already around 20 years old and was forced to retire after it slipped and fell on the racetrack. That horse belonged to a relative and was just given to Fidds as a gift for his 8th birthday.

Marlboro loves his person so much that every time Fidds returns home during breaks, the horse straight up starts walking out of the stable and stops for absolutely nobody.

It's something his family is slightly surprised and alarmed by sometimes because Fidds' horses do have designated caretakers and vets that do their job well. It just so happens that the horses really just remember Fidds and are more than happy to see him again.

Fidds doesn't always ride his horses whenever he's home but he never fails to visit all of them and check in. As of now, he has six horses and four are stallions(all gelded); the other two are mares. Fiddleford isn't really interested in breeding horses anyway so this doesn't give him any issue.

Bill has a slight obsession with the show squid game but doesn't really talk about it.

The concept and idea behind the show and the games genuinely interests him for reasons he isn't sure why. Though, he would sometimes think about it for a long while trying to figure it out. It also doesn't help that the games also tend to fixate on human desperation and greed, something that terrifies the blonde as much as it intrigues him.

It resonates with how he typically sees his own life, a pick your poison of: "you die now or die later". Even so, Bill is a bit irked with himself for gravitating towards something like this when he also finds himself nauseated by the amount of death and gore. His fixation generally merits mixed feelings on his end but it's a fixation nonetheless.

Stan and Ford throw things at each other almost daily, it doesn't even have to be for any specific reason other than they're screwing around.

Ford has thrown at thesaurus at Stanley before for the sake of a joke and consequently couldn't stop laughing at the sheer utter confusion his brother had because of it. He does debate on doing it more often though when Stan annoys the heck out of him by just murdering the English language.

On the flip side, Stan's also gotten hilariously good at sniping his twin with a pillow when the guy does or is about to do some really dumb shit. Like messing with rocket fuel that may or may not explode? Yeah Stan's chucking that flask out the window and hitting a bullseye to the face on a grumpy Stanford with a couch cushion.

It's all fun and games no matter what happens and both of them know when to take it seriously or when not to do this. Though so far, it's generally free game and the twins are just that chaotic even as adults.

[ruthlesslistener]

Ngl something that really pisses me off about the way that Tumblr deals with mental health is the fact that there's this seeming disconnect between trying to be inclusive of mental/personality disorders without acknowledging the grotesque, uncomfortable nature of some of them (OCD intrusive thoughts, for example, esp. if they're POCD) and the fact that others are, in fact, the root cause for a lot of actual abuse

Like, I've been hearing a lot from my mom about how my dad is a narcissist and an abuser bc of it (she's only just now realizing how awful he is after starting therapy, and her therapist is who told her what I've been trying for years), but I'm uncomfortable talking about that because as soon as I rant on it on my own damn blog, people will jump at my throat to snarl at me about how narissistic abuse isn't real or w/ever. Hell, even hearing my mom TALK about her experiences in that light makes me feel nervous/uncomfortable bc I knew if she said that shit on here she'd get piled with hate asks for her not using the 'correct' language, even though she basically flat-out admitted that the only reason me or my siblings existed was through coercion/marital rape when she was drinking. That shit's been haunting me ever since she said it bc I genuinely did not know that it was that bad (though I should have, bc he used to be very phsyically abusive to us before my brother was born), but I knew if I said anything about my discomfort for it til now that people would get mad at me for calling my dad a narcissist, even though that is the root of his behavior and this is my own damn blog for posting these sorts of thoughts/musings. Like, cool! Here's my mom gushing to me about how grateful she is that I'm the reason she figured out she needed help, and I'm sitting here feeling some kind of fucked-up queasy fear-guilt bc she's using wording that would get her cancelled on tumblr even as it contextualizes 30+ years of abuse in a manner that is accurate, easily digestible, and assisting her in getting aid. That's not helpful. But the obsession with 'proper inclusive language' over 'respectful conduct' takes priority over actual help

I don't think all people with NPD are automatically abusers, because I know myself just how easy it is to be an abusive, manipulative asshole. It's really only bc I grew up detesting my father so much that I'm not a piece of shit, honestly. People should be judged based on how they treat the people around them, not how they actually feel or think about it. But at the same time, saying narcissistic abuse doesn't exist is just plain falsehood. No personality disorder is automatically abusive, but many of them are the source of very particular abuses, and claiming otherwise is not helpful to the people trying to be better than their brain, nor to the people who got harmed by those who never bothered to try

[1ntaktak]

—human band-aid (teaser)

pairings. yoon jeonghan x fem!reader (non-idol AU)

summary. a "human band-aid" is a term commonly used to describe someone used as a temporary remedy or solution—a short-term treatment; like a band-aid, it doesn't heal the wound. It just coves it up for the time being.

genre. friends with benefits, unrequited love, angst, smut

warnings. angst with no comfort, explicit smut, unprotected sex, lack of aftercare

minors do not interact.

Hands move, grasping black hair, grasping at sheets, at anything that could be used for purchase.

Names moaned over and over. The sound of sweat-soaked skin and sliding bounced off the wall. The sound of the bed creaking, the head frame knocking against the wall. You're sure a noise complaint from your neighbours will greet you first thing in the morning, but that's the least of your concerns right now.

You don't care if the whole apartment complex can hear you getting your back blown out. You can handle the walk of shame in the morning, the look of disgust your neighbours will send your way; it isn't your fault they lack action in their lives anyway, nor is it the first time it has happened. No, none of that matters right now, not when this is the only time the man above has you as his top priority.

"H-hannie!"

The man above you leans down, lips trailing from the side of your neck towards your nipple, suckling on it like a newborn would to its mother.

Sex with Jeonghan could be messy, passionate, slow, fast, and tender. But it was always great. His movements are perfectly calculated. The way his hips rock against yours wasn't too rough, nor was it too slow. Every buck of his hips against yours made your toes curl. His dick reaching all the right places. You can already feel your stomach cramping up, your orgasm building fast with every flick of his fingers against your sensitive clit.

You know he's close too; after having sex for a year now, you have learned to pick up on the telltale signs, the changes in his tone, his expression looking almost pained from how pleased he was feeling.

Your eyes fixated on him, and his onto yours.

Lust-filled eyes met yours, not a trace of love behind them, and that's okay. Not that you expect him to look at you the way he does with her, tho it doesn't hurt to dream from time to time.

“Inside or out?” He gasped, slowing his pace to let you answer.

“Inside,” you mumbled, legs going slack. Jeonghan speeds up with his ministration, groaning slightly before he cums, stilling his hips against yours as he pants your walls white with his cum. His cock goes soft as he pulls out of you.

You feel the mattress shift as he slides out of bed. Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath from your high, pulling the covers over your body, you turn to face him.

You watched through half-lidded eyes as he shuffled around your room, picking his clothes off the floor with practiced efficiency, his back turned towards you.

“Will you kiss me tonight?” Your voice catches him off guard halfway through him pulling his pants up. He stilled, but he didn't look back, nor did he need to see the pained look painted across your face,

“That’s not what we do.”

note. re-blogs are very much appreciated!

[amesliu]

so disclaimer: I haven't read the book yet so I don't have the full context + i'm not USAmerican so I dunno how relevant this would be to pjo

Also so sorry for the essay... do ignore this if you don't want to go into this further! I just get rambly about cultures and cultural differences haha

In my family it really depends on who the guest is on what is acceptable behaviour? I guess? Closest to percy and annabeth would probably be my sister and her long term boyfriend (5 -ish years, they're early twenties). He isn't expected to help out, but he's allowed to and does regularly help set the table. In this case he also eats at my parent's at least twice a week. Sometimes he and my sister cook, sometimes they clean etc. (he also helps us host at birthdays sometimes! like offer other guests drinks that kind of stuff) Different example: close family typically helps out in the kitchen. My grandma refuses to let us do anything without her help no matter how insistent we are that "You're our guest! Let us do the work!" she'll just tell us that it would be rude of her to let her (grand)children do all the work while she sits and watches. We also always offer our help when we're over at family. (my mom's best friend, who she has known since college, is the same way btw. She also insists on helping us and we always offer our help when we are visiting her and her family) Now, if the boyfriend's parents came over to eat dinner my parents would not let them lift a finger. Same with neighbours, colleagues and other more casual acquaintances.

If I went off of my own experiences and no further context i'd say that rr is trying to show that percy, annabeth and their friends are very close

I totally get that and I agree it’s context sensitive. HOWEVER. My issues with this scene are as follows:

1. Percy appears to be not doing much of anything in this scene? Like the page I read is just him standing there narrating the scene…….? It literally says “Grover and juniper were setting the table which is usually my job” maybe I’m wrong and I’m missing context but that’s what it read like. But this isn’t rlly my main issue with the food stuff so oh well

2. I have a huge contention with Rick’s push to make Annabeth into a character that is like. Good at and interested in cooking and food handling in general. His justification for her learning to cook appears to be “she’s smart and so ahead in her classes she just decided to” which goes back to my point that I made on my side blog about the poor representation of Annabeth as a “smart adhder”. It feels like a retroactive and lazy justification for a character trait that he has already decided for her when her upbringing and personality has given me no reason to believe she would ever need or care to learn to cook. Her doing so could be an interesting way to explore the way her priorities shift as she gets older as Jules discussed on my post about sohaes last chapter but it’s not being used that way and when he randomly starts pushing his one female character in his main trio to start cooking when both his male characters have a much better characterization for it it also feels somewhat misogynistic and “mommy-ifying” with how heavily the cooking focuses on Annabeth being so so good at cooking

I don’t want this to come off as me saying a female character who cooks is inherently misogynistic but this sudden addition to her character says nothing and does nothing when it can and should. Either she remains not good at cooking and we see food as a medium for care and affection with Percy and Sally as caretakers expecting nothing in return or we see her learn with Sally as a symbolic representation of her gaining smth she lost as a kid. But learning to cook in a class bc she’s just so smart and good at school is… not it.

And even then. What if she does learn in an academic and STRUGGLES with it. How does that interact with her pride? Her personality? Etc.

I think this is a huge issue I have with a lot of the ideas he brings up where they could be incredibly interesting things to explore but he will never take it there so it just feels random. We’re not at a point where we’re supposed to be teaching an audience about a character we’re at the exploring their depth stage and he just. Doesn’t act that way.

3. A cultural issue I guess but my partner would never be allowed to do the work at my parents house but we are sort of a fist fight for the bill type of culture so 🤷‍♂️

Side note: the tangent about Percy being like “wow I’d never think to ask if salad was okay for juniper” followed by the immediate tangent about how hard he’s thought about the feelings of fish and whether or not he eats them was like… something. Idk what but it ticked me off LOOOL

[the-thursday]

Hello everyone, this post was long overdue, and finally, prompted by our beloved Howls also leaving, it's time for me to rip off the bandaid as well.

I would also like to announce a sort of departure from Ranger's apprentice fandom.

I do not know how many from RA fandom era from few years back are still here but I assume mostly newer blogs keep up with this account.

Take a lil history walk with me, if you will. I joined this fandom around 2017-18. I was very active around here, posting all kinds of stuff, fics, takes, incorrect quotes, art and whatnot. I made many friends with whom I had a great time and I am happy and honoured that I am friends with some of them till this day. Fandom became the second home to me as things hadn't been exactly easy irl and maybe I fixated on it too much, but gods know I loved this place so much. And I wish for everyone to experience this happiness and just as I made friends who became a significant part of my life, I wish that for you as well. Being surrounded by amazing and wonderful people and sharing similar interests is one of the most pure joyous feelings in this world.

As 2020-2021 rolled around, some of you know that things in my life picked up a harsh pace and I started to drift away. In 2021 I left the fandom because of that and unpleasant things with one of the people here. It was one of the most gut wrenching decisions I had made.

In 2022, I started gradually getting worse, but also had the courage to come back at the end of the year. I felt happy and welcomed and I am so grateful to everyone who made it happen, who supported me and gave me another breath. My mental health kept getting worse but I wasn't alone and that has been everything to me.

Now it's about a little more than a year since I've been back and again, I've met wonderful amazing people who I am happy and honoured to call friends. I don't regret coming back and I am happy I did, however I think it's time for me to go again. And below, I hope to explain why.

Like I said, I've been getting worse. Last autumn and this winter have been very difficult for me and I had to rethink some priorities, as life is going on the time left for me to invest in fandoms is getting thinner and thinner. Unfortunately, among them, isn't keeping up with this fandom. With my next words I hope not to insult anyone. The truth is, I don't find enjoyment in the fandom and content itself anymore, or more like, as much as I used to. I don't exactly vibe with posts for roughly the past half a year and I don't mean this in negative way, I just think it's for me to move on. All of the new people that I've seen have wonderful content and while I don't exactly vibe like I used to, I can see that you're having fun and that's important! People come and go and I do wish all the newcomers and seniors who are still here to have a great time, but I don't think I have energy, capacity and vibes to be part of it anymore. As you know, my blog has been very much inactive for a long time, aside from dumping my dumb sketches or reblogging something here and there. And rather than letting it rot, I'd like to cleanly move on. Anyhow, on self deprecating note, since really it's not like I've been someone prominent I don't think this is a loss to the fandom and this makes it easier for me.

So to summarise, my leaving is about personal things, my life moving and the fact I don't have the mental capacity or motivation to actively keep up.

So what does this mean? I won't be posting RA related stuff on this blog anymore. This blog will turn into a neutral main blog and I'll create one side blog for art that I hope to continue to make and maybe one blog dedicated to the work of Brandon Sanderson.

However, it doesn't mean that I am not up to goof around about RA anymore, however this will be done in DMs. If I sometimes get to draw and post RA related art, it shall be posted on my new art blog with RA tag. However, I don't think there's a high probability of public RA art from me anymore, because 1) need to move on and 2) I have a very strong and maybe confrontational opinion about art in this fandom that has given me a bad taste and discouraged me from enjoying making it and posting it. I won't go into details because I don't want to sour this post for myself and for y'all with it.

I want to thank this fandom for everything it has been for me and for everyone and I wish y'all some happy fandoming!

Yours only,

The Ranger Thursday 11

[bad-traffic-smp-ideas]

Welcome to Bad Traffic SMP Ideas, an experimental gimmick blog with a twist!

Hello! Instead of showcasing the many good ideas this community has come up with, this blog highlights all the "bad" ideas created with our beloved smps in mind.

I, the Head Watcher, will be your guide on this journey through the wonderfully horrific concepts I've collected for future traffic series smps. Enjoy your trip! ^^

[QnA + tag system + more below the cut!]

What is a "bad idea?"

It's whatever you want it to be! The "[blank] Life, but _" format works really well for series concepts as a whole, but "bad headcanons" are welcome too! Go wild, friends <3

"Someone already sent in my same idea! Can I submit it again?"

Sure!! Most of the time, I won't even realize it's been said before. This blog has been going for so long now and I have bigger priorities, I won't penalize you for sending in a "repeat" ask :)

(There is also the #additions tag for adding onto specific ideas, although it isn't used very consistently. If you would like your ask to be added to a previous post instead, just ask!)

"What does the queue look like for this blog?"

Currently, it posts 3 times per day, and there's about ~250 posts in the backlog waiting to be posted (as of late January.)

For complicated personal reasons (but mostly me being a busy uni student), that most likely won't be drastically changing anytime soon. I don't get around to stocking this blog very often and I would rather have it be slow and consistent than have random bursts of activity then silence. I know this is frustrating for people, but this is my personal passion project, and I don't want to needlessly stress myself out over something I started for fun :)

"I sent in my idea two months ago! Where is it?!"

Probably still in the askbox! Very rarely do I actually delete asks, I promise I don't cherrypick the ideas I like and discard the rest. But since I know the wait is frustrating, this is my policy to deal with it:

If you've sent in an idea and it hasn't posted yet, you can send me an ask describing your idea and ask to have it moved up in the queue. You can also send in a separate ask when submitting an idea if you want to have it posted sooner rather than later.

(If your idea is connected to recent events in smps, etc it will most likely be moved up anyway so it posts while still "relevant," although this is somewhat limited to my familiarity with the event. It never hurts to ask!)

"Wait, this blog has a TV Tropes page?!"

APPARENTLY. I didn't make it, but I'm a HUGE fan of it, and it's probably more organized than my actual blog. Go check it out, I'm famous guys <3

Housekeeping + Rules:

Mostly common sense things + be a decent person, etc. This isn't a place for discourse, so please leave that elsewhere. There haven't been any serious issues, but if there ever are I'll create a more cohesive list of rules.

Admin Info:

You can call me Pho! I saw the @/badmccideas blog and got inspired to make this around the end of Last Life in November 2021. My main is @phosphorus-noodles :)

Currently, I'm the sole mod running this blog. This may change in the future, but please don't ask to join the team unless I ask for more help! This project is my baby, and I'm very protective over it ^^'

Tagging System:

#bad traffic idea - catch-all tag for bad ideas

#headcanon - specifically for headcanons, not concepts (not consistently used, so if you can't find a headcanon tagged with this it's probably under the previous tag)

#not a bad idea - anything that's not a bad idea (announcements, admin notes, reblogs, etc.)

#good idea - personal favorite submissions <3

#admin - posts from yours truly :)

#ask - ideas sent in via ask

#submission - ideas submitted

#reblog - anything reblogged

#additions - inconsistently used, but meant for building upon existing specific ideas

#life series predictions - used whenever there's a new season on the horizon to try to predict where apollo's dodgeball will fall

#blog lore - mostly for fun, not that serious or consistent lol, feel free to filter this tag or join in with the fun! :)

If you've made it to the end of this post, congrats! I love you <3

[sysmedsaresexist]

Terms, from a syscourse perspective

A very long ramble

We're taking this to a new post, starting fresh, and going more in depth. The original post is off course and confusing, and I've seen a few tags confused by the uptick in polls, so this is for them as well.

SO

We're not talking about which is liked by more people, we're talking about which term hurts people less. We're talking about people who are genuinely offended by the term plural because of the history that many prefer to deny happened.

Welcome outside of your bubble.

There is a very nasty history behind all these terms, and the type of people who identify with them.

Some plural systems, to this very day, proudly use the term empowered, despite the fact that empowered multiples were a literal DID hate group. Like an actual organized one, with multiple websites and political activism. Many still deny the trauma basis of DID.

It was the fight for the word "multiple" that sparked plural, an anti psych alternative, focused on personhood and autonomy of their system in a community that largely boycotted the diagnosis and treatment of MPD/DID at that time. There were groups that demonized anyone who identified with the DID label. There were sites about what failures we were as systems.

Endogenic isn't just the alternative for natural multiples, but empowered ones, too. Plural is far more synonymous with endogenic than CDD.

"System" is the current hot topic. Endogenic systems don't have a right to the word, they're not "real systems," just like vickies wrote about the fight over "real multiples".

Some plurals are scared to use system

History repeating itself, over and over.

And all of these words hurt.

I think we should encourage the use of system for endogenic systems, but that's just me. That is a positive step toward an inclusive word that everyone is happy with. I'm finding that I have a lot more words for my disordered experience that system isn't really something I feel a claim over. If you call me plural, knowing I have DID, you're going to hurt me.

Looks like many are back to liking multiple again, so we can look forward to round two.

But which words hurt the most people?

We are discussing two words specifically.

Plural

and

System

We're not talking about alternatives, the conversation was, "plural is safer than system as a blanket term, less people identify with system, plurality is something we all share," and I said, "no, system is safer than plural as a blanket term, plural is seen as offensive to many CDD systems, the priority of my blog. The vast majority do NOT relate to being plural or plurality, system is what more people relate to and are less bothered by."

The why is because of history and genuine offense, whether you like it or not.

You say that no one complains, but if you had said this the other way around, "systemhood is something we all share," would anyone have been like, "uhm, ackshually, if you call me a system I'm going to cry." What would those polls have looked like? We get a glimpse in the polls now.

So what are the numbers? It's still early, but there's really only two parts of the poll that really matter. Everyone wants more options, but I'm really only talking about the options for uncomfortable.

Plural vs system.

"Not medical" vs "medical"

Pro endo vs anti endo

Words are the root of syscourse, are they not? How many antis say, "if endos just didn't call themselves systems"?

Based on the numbers, system is the safer term to hurt fewer people. Endogenic systems mind system less than CDD systems mind plural. The complaints you're going to get would be more along the lines of, "endos aren't systems," rather than, "hey, careful, that can be offensive."

Are we finally saying the fight over "system" is over and antis won, plural is better now? Well, then, I don't know that lumping anti endos under plural is going to help the syscourse divide at all. Remember a couple months ago when antis forgot that they didn't invent plural? The big war over pluralpunk? And how much everyone tried to correct them that plural didn't belong to CDDs? Because it IS so synonymous with endogenic systems?

Start at the top of the post, reread, the fight starts again. Don't put antis, mostly CDD systems angry at endogenics, under the plural umbrella. I know we're not prioritizing their comfort, but it doesn't just hurt antis, but pro endo CDD systems, too. Our history is important.

And going to be honest, my memory is not that great. I'm going to forget my friend's preferred terms and I'm going to offend people. I would rather offend them with system. Less chance, less hurt. System is the most popular, across the board. I believe it's lost its synonymity with CDD.

I would REALLY love to hear opinions on this from all sides.

[sirfrogsworth]

Peter McKinnon did a video with a photographer named Garrett King. And he just went on a very long rant about lazy photographers who use Photoshop and "fixing it in post."

He continues... "You can't do that in film. You can't just make a bad decision and say "Oh, I'll fix it in post." (Not true. There was plenty of editing in dark rooms in the past. And now you can scan a film photo and literally manipulate it like a digital photo.) Fix it in post drives me nuts. That statement is so played out. It drives me nuts that people say that. Cuz dude, I don't work that way."

He also says that choosing film is the "hard path" and keeps talking about how lazy photographers who photoshop are.

I love film photography. I have an old Minolta that my mom gave me that I hope to restore and use someday.

But film photographers drive *me* nuts sometimes.

IT'S NOT A COMPETITION!

BOTH THINGS ARE COOL!

This idea that their way of making art is more valid or authentic than my way of making art is just a continuation of an old school mentality that really needs to die. There are still some photographers who will bully people because they use autofocus or aperture priority mode.

I actually think learning to be really good at Photoshop is much more challenging than learning to be good at photography. Sure, there are fields like photographic microscopy and product photography that require years to master, but I've been learning Photoshop for 20 years and I feel like I have barely scratched the surface of what is possible.

I have seen people with near 0 experience take an amazing picture.

I have seen people who barely know how their camera works take consistently good photos. It's the "using only power chords" version of photography.

But I have never seen someone with 0 experience photoshop something artistically impressive.

When people say "that looks Photoshopped" as if that is an insult, it really breaks my heart. Photoshop was a huge reason for my success. My ability to lay in bed and make funny things was essential to building my blog.

My post on Karl Taylor's Clinque photoshoot had so many comments saying his work "looked photoshopped" and it was a little frustrating.

Firstly because he actually sculpts with light and isn't actually very good at Photoshop. When he takes a picture, it pretty much looks like that from the start. The rest is just minor compositing work and blemish removal.

And secondly, because that kind of product photography predates Photoshop. Karl was doing this when Photoshop was just a baby.

In fact, still life photography was inspired by Dutch paintings of fruit and shit.

They were all, "I cannot stand sitting with another yappy model for days on end. I'm sick of people. I'm just going to paint *stuff* but with really amazing lighting."

But it is also frustrating because there is this mentality that digital tools are lesser. As if digital artists just press a few buttons and cheat-code their way into good images.

It's the same mentality people have about CGI. CG artists are the modern day sculpturists. They do the same thing as Michaelangelo or Rodin, just with different tools and in a different medium. Oh, but they also animate their sculptures in thousands of frames in multiple dynamic lighting environments all while maintaining photorealism.

To me, Thanos is just as artistically impressive as the statue of David or The Thinker.

Blair Bunting is a very talented photographer who mixes incredible photographic technique and lighting with his amazing photo manipulation skills.

And while these photos may not be as "authentic" as that film photographer's picture of a dude sitting on a truck...

I can assure you no laziness was involved in Blair's process.

Also, I really didn't want to bring up disability. But it is really difficult for me to do the physical process of photography. Sometimes I do not have the energy to get the perfect "in camera" exposure. Sometimes I won't even check my settings and I will snap a picture knowing that I can make it cool with editing. I just look at the histogram, make sure the data I need is there, and do the rest on my computer.

During my adventure to photograph a bridge in Alton, I was only able to take 6 photos. Usually I will take hundreds in a session. My fatigue got the better of me and I nearly had to go to the hospital after walking up a hill. (I was having a bad day. I'm better now.) I didn't get the photos I wanted to get. And on the way down that hill, as I was out of breath, I pulled out my phone and tried to snap a pic of something cool I saw in front of me. The phone had been set 2 stops underexposed from a previous shot and so the picture was pretty much all in shadow. And because I was walking super slow, I had just missed the sun over the horizon.

But it's a RAW file. And I knew I could probably do something with it. I could "fix it in post." Not because I was being lazy. Mostly because I was trying not to hyperventilate. Apparently, my body can't handle slight inclines any longer.

And this is what I came up with.

I'm not saying this is an amazing photo. And it would have been really cool if I hadn't missed the sun. But this is what my eyes saw as I came down the hill and I was able to recreate that with digital tools.

I think that is pretty cool.