#but feel free to suggest things I could post during pride??

[mythalism]

i realized the other day after posting about this fan theory that, at this point, it is basically talked about in fandom as if its canon, and newer fans might not understand why. my goal today was to explain the theory and all of the evidence we have for it in inquisition to give people a better understanding of why this has become so ubiquitous, and to hopefully have something to look back on in two months with that "apollo gift of prophecy" dodgeball meme when veilguard proves us right.

very important before i get started: this is not my theory. i didn't make it up. unfortunately, i also don't know exactly who did and if it could even be traced at this point. this is something that many people have believed for a long time, and i'm not the first to write about it. there are a lot of great posts and essays that speculate on this theory, and what it could mean for solas's character going forward.

PLEASE feel free to contribute thoughts, or link to posts you have made yourself or seen before in the replies/reblogs!!! much of my own experience with this comes from long before this account existed, so i dont have exact sources but rather random, amorphous fandom knowledge of this theory and what major arguments have circulated in the past 10 years. this post by @sammakesart and this post by @mrs-gauche went around recently and both touch on this theory and i highly recommend them both! i know @corseque has also written about this theory multiple times over the years.

i was first introduced to this on tumblr when it started gaining ground in the fandom after the release of trespasser in 2015, predominantly due to a couple of lines of cole dialogue from trespasser, so that is where we will begin.

shoutout to @daitranscripts and the dragon age wiki for the dialogue

this line of cole's is basically the foundation of this theory, and what is cited most often. i'm not entirely sure if the theory existed before trespasser, but if it did, i dont remember it being well-known or widely accepted like it is now.

this line is usually interpreted to suggest that solas, who would have been a spirit of wisdom/pride at the time, took a body and came into being as an elf at mythal's behest. this is also the line that suggests solas himself once wore vallaslin, and that he removed it himself using the same spell he uses on a romanced lavellan thousands of years later, but did so clumsily the first time and left the scar we can see on his eyebrow.

first i want to acknowledge what are pretty much the most damning indications of this theory

solas means "pride; to stand tall" in elvhen, according to world of thedas vol. 1

the dread wolf form we see in murals, written descriptions, and of course, in real life in the veilguard trailer, bears a pretty clear resemblance to pride demons:

most notably, in the face and eyes. yeah i dont really have anything else to say about those lmao it's pretty blatant

overall, inquisition tells us a great deal about spirits, and gives the player an alternate worldview through which to understand them, distinct from the chantry/circle narrative presented previously.

solas himself, along with cole, has a lot to say about the nature of spirits throughout his dialogue and banter with several characters. one sentiment that he espouses repeatedly is that spirits and demons are the same thing, but demons are a spirit corrupted and perverted away from its purpose.

Solas: They rarely seek this world. When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. Wisdom and purpose are too easily twisted to pride and desire

During All New, Faded for Her:

PC: Solas, you said your friend was a wisdom spirit. Solas: That is not its natural form. It has been corrupted. PC: Corrupted? Solas: Forced to act against its original purpose. What did they do, what did they do, what did they do?

second, that spirits and the fade are a mirror, and reflect the waking world. specifically, that spirits reflect the perception and expectation of a mortal, and adapts accordingly. belief makes reality.

On Ostagar:

PC: I've heard the stories. It would be interesting to hear what it was really like. Solas: That's just it. In the Fade, I see reflections created by spirits who react to the emotions of the warriors. One moment, I see heroic Wardens lighting the fire and a power mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause. PC: And you can't tell which is real? Solas: It is the fade. They are all real.

and third, that spirits are people.

solas expresses concerns over what the breach does to spirits at multiple points, including here with cassandra.

he also regularly argues in favor of spirits personhood, and passionately pushes back against characters who argue the opposite, such as dorian:

as well as the inquisitor themselves, should they choose certain dialogue options:

PC: You trust these spirits not to possess you the first time you accidentally make a wish? Solas: Do you trust your friends not to turn on you? (authors note: LMFAOOOOOOO) PC: Well, yes, but they're people. Solas: Ah, of course. PC: You know what I mean. Solas: Are people only people because they are flesh and blood? Solas: Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair not his wit? PC: They're not defined by their bodies, but they do have bodies. You need one to be a person. Solas: A demon possessing a corpse has a body. PC: A living body. Solas: A demon possesses a living mage to become an abomination. PC: They didn't make that body. They just took it over. Solas: Technically your mother created your body, with some help from your father, one assumes. PC: You've thought about this. Solas: On occasion, yes. OR:

PC: Spirits are bound by their nature. You said it yourself. They're shaped by contact with real people. Solas: Just as Leliana was shaped by contact with Divine Justinia, as those who serve the inquisition are shaped by you. If I change your mind in this conversation, does that mean you're no more real than a spirit? OR: PC: Im certain you have some rhetorical trick ready to counter anything I say. Solas: It's likely. I've had a lot of time to discuss the question with people. Or "spirits", if you prefer.

aside from this entire conversation being hilarious and very fen'harel coded, i think its notable that his enthusiasm and snark here is distinct from the way he engages in other debates, where he is often clinical and detached. on the subject of spirits, however, we get a lot more emotional investment from him - it feels personal. as he says, he's thought about it. on occasion.

solas having originally been a spirit adds helpful context for his insistence on spirit's personhood despite modern thedas's completely contradictory beliefs, and also helps inform his worldview more generally, especially in regards to elves.

one of solas's most heavily criticized aspects is his disdain for modern elves and the dalish. and i agree, it's fucked up and he is an absolute ass about it at nearly every opportunity. however, his feelings regarding the elves sometimes seem... strange, even in the context of him being an ancient elf.

keeping in mind cole's line from trespasser, that he "did not want a body", as well as another cole line from trespasser:

most people infer that there is some sort of resentment on solas's end for him having to become human at mythal's request. it seems as if he was turned away from his purpose. wisdom forced to be pride.

cole's personal quest, which shows solas passionately arguing to keep cole a spirit, supports this. it is almost as if he is trying to prevent cole from the same fate that was forced upon him.

throughout the quest he says things such as: "This is not some fanciful story, child of the stone. We cannot change our nature by wishing." "A spirit does not work through emotions. It embodies them." "You would alter the essence of what he is." "It is good that he is not entirely changed, however human he becomes."

most telling of all, i think is this line at the end of the quest if you elect to keep cole as a spirit.

Varric: "He could have been a person." Solas: Possibly. Would that have made him happier?

OUGGHGH.

clearly, for solas, the answer was no. being a person has not made him happier.

regardless, solas still values spirits as fundamentally equal to people despite their differences and worthy of the same freedoms, self-determination and respect.

this kinship with spirits, however, might help explain his disdain for elves, in a way i find to be more satisfying than "all ancient elves are assholes" and more in-line with his character overall.

it seems as if solas doesnt see himself as separate from modern elves because he doesnt see himself as a modern elf, but that he doesnt not see himself as an elf at all, but rather as a spirit.

solas infamously says, following halamshiral if you bring up briala:

"I'm sorry, I was confused. I do not consider myself to have much in common with the elves."

the inquisitor has the option for several responses, and although most of us probably pick the one that tells him to fuck off, the others are more telling:

PC: Nor should you. You're not defined by the shape of your ears. They're not your people. Solas: No, they are not. OR PC: Who do you have much in common with. Who are your people? Solas: A good question. Solas: I joined the inquisition to save the world. Regardless of who "my people" are, this was the best way to help him.

"not being defined by the shape of your ears" and solas's immediate identification with the statement and approval of it sticks out to me. it seems like he's just being racist, and he very well might be, but in the context of this theory, it can also be interpreted as him disliking being "defined" by having a body at all, or any physical characteristics, consistent with how he resists the idea that varric and cassandra are defined by their own physical characteristics.

if the player insists they want to help the orlesian elves even if he doesnt, he still has something interesting to say:

Solas: Stop Corypheus. That will do for a start. It speaks well of you to feel for the oppressed. Help them for that. Know them for what they are.

this is not the only time he equates all oppressed groups of thedas to one another, defined by their shared subjugation rather than the real, in-world divisions such as race and religion. it's also interesting to consider the relationship between oppression, as a situation that evokes certain emotions in those who experience it, such as pride. as solas says of ostagar, spirits there were drawn to the emotions of the soldiers there. are spirits of pride drawn to situations of oppression, where pride is needed for liberation?

solas's failure (or refusal) to recognize the reality of how oppression functions in modern thedas along lines of race and ethnicity specifically is one of his biggest flaws, but it continues to fit with this theory, as it is consistent with that same sort of single-minded, spirit tunnel-vision that we see from spirits and demons. i would also assume that he considers spirits to be part of this monolithic group of "the oppressed", considering the spirit slavery/bondage practices in tevinter and nevarra, both of which he criticizes.

i do believe, however, that to equate all of solas's unfair derision of the dalish to him identifying with spirits over people, rather than ancient elves over modern elves, would be too generous and an oversimplification. its also clear how much of his anger towards the dalish comes from... wait for it.... his wounded pride.

solas is prideful. when he is faced with pride in others, he becomes defensive, even nasty. when his pride is challenged, often by others pride, he becomes almost unrecognizable. the dalish specifically rub up against his pride, in the most specific of ways that grate at his most cherished qualities and that disregard his own perception of himself. the thing he is most proud of, leading a slave rebellion against corrupt tyrants, erased from history entirely. branded a traitor instead, while those he fought against are worshiped as saviors for millennia.

Solas: I have joined my fair share of causes. But when I offered lessons learned in the Fade, I was derided by my enemies... and sometimes by my allies. Liar. Fool. Madman. There are endless ways to say something isn't worth listening to. Over time, it grinds away at you.

its also possible, considering what we know of the nature of expectation creating reality for spirits, that the dalish framing of the dread wolf actually does indeed make him worse - more arrogant, less compassionate, more ruthless, more cunning, more of a liar. a spirit being perverted into a demon based on the dominant perception of it.

perhaps the most interesting tidbit about solas of all which supports this theory, is that this phenomenon of expectation shaping his nature, making him more prideful or more humble, is not exclusive to the world of thedas, but also occurs on a meta-level with the player by proxy of the inquisitor.

a 2020 interview of trick weekes, solas's writer, says this pretty much verbatim.

"Solas mirrors. If you approach Solas from a place of humility and say, "I want to learn from you," Solas will bend over backwards to tell you how flawed he is and how he's just coming at this from his own limited understanding. If you come in with ego, Solas is genetically incapable of not bristling when he sees your ego... because he can't not do that."

this is fascinating for like 7 million reasons, but most notably for the language trick uses that i believe to be incredibly revealing. first, solas himself talks about how spirits "mirror" the real world multiple times. second is the way in which they speak about solas's mirroring as innate, uncontrollable, and involuntary. he is genetically incapable of not mirroring. genetically incapable of not bristling at someone else's pride. this being a genetic incapability implies, pretty unambigously, that he is a spirit. we dont know of any people in thedas who have pride in their DNA. except. you know. pride demons.

pride is his purpose. he cannot turn away from it or betray that purpose to pursue something else. he cannot change his nature simply by wishing. if he were to attempt it, he would be corrupted.

trick offers this information as an explanation for player's extremely varied perception of solas when playing the game, and it perfectly mimics the way solas himself talks about spirits as being created by a dreamer's expectation of them.

when asked about his friendships with spirits, he says:.

PC: You're saying that you became friends with pride and desire demons? Solas: They were not demons for me. PC: Meaning? Solas: The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt/ And if your mind is free of corrupting influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends.

i just love how perfectly this reflects every fandom argument that's been had on twitter about solas for the past 10 years. like seriously.

random twitter user: you like that guy!? but hes a [demon]!! solas stans: he wasn't a demon for me

and it is true; people who are pretty deep into the games often know what solas is like to a low-approval inquisitor, but it can be shocking for new players to see what he is like at the other end of the approval spectrum, whether that is someone who hated him seeing the tenderness with which he kisses a romanced lavellan goodbye to remove her anchor in trespasser, or someone who romanced him witnessing the cruelty and detachment which with he grabs a low-approval inquisitor to yank off their anchor. he becomes almost an entirely different person based on how the player treats him.

for all that solas, in true spirit form, reflects the perceptions of the players, he has plenty of pure pride-demon vibes on his own, independent of player expectation. he is not just proud, or made proud as a mirror for player/character pride, but he often even goes as far as to act in ways that mimic how we have seen from spirits more generally, as well as pride demons specifically.

the wiki states:

"Spirits are not complex in the sense that they seize upon a single facet of human experience, and this one idea becomes their identity.[3] They are formed as a reflection of the real world and its passions.[10] A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose. For instance, a hunger demon will attempt to feed on anything it crosses,[4] and a spirit of justice will stop at nothing to uphold its name”

along with further reinforcing solas's tunnel vission as characteristic of spirits, he does indeed intentionally attempt to stoke arrogance in others, as well as test characters to see if they are vulnerable to arrogance and power-hungriness. this is probably best exemplified by his banter with vivienne, versus his banter with cassandra.

i mean this one is self explanatory. cmon.

but it becomes especially interesting when compared to his interactions with cassandra, of whom he starts out very distrustful of. however, through their banter, he immediately begins to test her for indications of her inclination towards arrogance and desire for power:

cassandra passes solas's tests and earns his approval through her humility, curiosity, and willingness to give up power for the greater good. as a result, solas softens considerably towards her, and becomes more evocative of wisdom than pride, offering her advice when she asks, though very humbly:

"i would hardly presume" is actually hilarious considering how he does presume. ALL THE TIME. but it shows the extent of this "mirroring" that trick mentions, when compared to how he speaks with vivienne, who does not pass his tests of pride: notice how his jabs at her specifically target her pride, the things she is proud of about herself, and tear them down:

he tells her that her position in the orlesian court is unearned, that the freedom she is so proud of winning for herself will come to an inevitable end, and that her resistance to demons does not make her special. its absolutely BRUTAL.

its especially important to note how little bearing vivienne and cassandra's backgrounds have on solas's perception of them. vivienne is a circle mage, a group of people who solas deeply sympathizes with, and believes should be freed. meanwhile cassandra is effectively templar, a group whom solas despises and finds unjust, and has been complacent in the oppression of mages that solas is so vehemently against.

and yet? it does not matter. he measures their worth based entirely on their propensity for pride.

it’s worth noting too, keeping in mind Solas’s almost uncharacteristic reverence for cassandra’s faith in the maker and (take this with a grain of salt because it was david gaider and he said via forum post….) that there are actually two types of spirits that become pride. wisdom, and faith.

"A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose."

what we DONT know: pretty much everything else about this. what was the process like? at what point in history did he take the body? how was that body made? was it stolen? did he start as wisdom and turn into pride later? did he always oscillate between both? was he corrupted by what was asked of him, to fight, as his friend was in his personal quest?

i could continue talking about this forever, probably, especially with how it manifests in the solavellan relationship and what it suggests for solas's story in veilguard, but ill cut it here for both my own sanity and yours. but first, a few fun dialogue bits that strike me as very pride-demon coded but didn't fit anywhere else in this analysis.

in conclusion:

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 3

Prompts: Angst / Kai Recs! *aka the best combo ahahaaaa*

Angst Recs (get ready for a lot of Wu being sad):

The Tale of the Teacher: BASICALLY a look at Wu's very tragic life through the eyes of Wu himself, and my personal inspiration for all things, well, Wu and tragic (and you do need to be logged into an Ao3 account for this one). A must-read for all Wu fans, and especially for those who are not~

Photographs: Wu reminiscences on all he's lost in the midst of Season 11 through pictures of times gone by~

No Eye For These: Wu reflects on losing his brother, right after just banishing him ;w;

It Will Rain Again Someday: Not necessarily angst but fills me with enough emotional damage to feel like it is, Wu adores his older brother so so so so much, even when they butt heads, even when they have opposing but equal opinions, even when they're on opposite sides of the battle field...probably the most potent Spinjitzu Brothers thing I've ever read. Changed my brain chemistry, man.

for want (for nothing): the staff corrupted!kai story that speaks to me very specifically snksnksnk Reading the gradually (or not so gradually) descent into enveloping himself in all that power is maddening and awesome and so very painful

Cry Me a River: Kai Post-Seabound; short, bitter, visceral, and powerful in the deliverance of emotions~

Married to the Sea: In case anyone wanted to relieve the pain that is Seabound's ending again, but with a Jay-colored coat of paint <3

half hearted-boy, maybe we'll have more connection: GUT-WRENCHING thing on parallels b/w Lloyd and Harumi. I am not the same person i was before. Tragedy does not have an age limit.

Kai Recs:

All I've Ever Known: One of the best kind of fics- Kai having to cope with team bonding during the events of the pilots <3(I have very obvious tastes). But! Has a lot of introspective Kai moments and outrospective (?) moments with him and the future team he's one day never going to imagine a time without.

Spice, and Everything Nice: Kai, in both a show of brotherly love and brotherly pride, attempts to outdo his siblings in a test of all things spice and chocolate. It's just so cute aaaaaaa!!!!

Bonfire: Lloyd wants to make a fire, Zane tries to offer suggestions, and Kai makes it personal. Slice of Life fic that would have made for a nice little episode during Season 2, honestly! And a nice look at the characters outside of their normally hectic settings~

Flicker: A story about Kai and the warmth he brings to himself and others, doesn't seem like much at first but you will be gutpunched by love and softness by the end~

Bucket List: In the category of angst and Kai with probably a guilty pleasure fic of mine, Kai strikes a deal with Morro and a horrifying journey of self-discovery ensues. It get a little dark but it's funny, gripping, heart-wrenching, and will probably have you looking at Kai in a new light by the end of it.

N Stands for Neutral: Kai teaches Lloyd to drive, chaos ensues, nuff said

Why Birds Fly: Probably not for the squeamish around eggs, insects, or ear-related agony (it's not nearly as bad as I'm making it sound I promise just being cautious) BUT another non-life-threatening crisis story that has an amazing dynamic between Kai, Cole and Jay, and their tendency to be both the best brothers you could ask for and the absolute worst.

The Process of Making Amends: Kai and Garmadon butting head and it's goes about as well as you'd expect....but, there is one thing they can reach a consensus on.

Going, Going, Gone: Vintage Classic on kai's take on Skylor throughout Season 4. Definitely Kailor, but also not exactly "shippy". It really is more of a character examination in the form of lil snippets and it lives in my mind rent-free.

From What It Was: Kai reflects on all the changes in the team post-s7. It makes me misty-eyed every time ;w;

Kai and the Futile Fist Fight: Anyone wanna see Kai and Jay have a real fight during Crystalized, with 50% more awesome fight moves and 50% more raw emotion and 100% more Kai being distressed over his sister in his own way? Here ya go!

"Mr. Smith" At Your Service: Kai pretends to be Nya's father. Nya gets far too much of a kick out of it, and it goes about a well as you'd expect snksnksnk

broken pieces: More Pilots!ninja bonding, short and sweet and ofc with a special focus on Kai! Left a very big impression on me, haha

this isn't how it's supposed to be: MOAR PILOT BONDINGGGGGGG and UNGH it's so BEAUTIFUL, especially love the character dialogue in this one!

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Camila//limpet

Request: Camila mendes x reader where r is clingy and cami loves to tease about it.

hey! thank you for reading! sorry i keep coming back and then going again. i know its a shitty thing to do but i really don’t know what i’m doing in my life at the minute and writing seems to be the thing that gets ignored while i’m trying to get my life back together again. but i am gonna try, and it may be slow at first, i may not stay, but i can at least try you know? if i don’t see you’s before, have a good new year everyone! 

- Okay so 

- From day one, Cami knew you were clingy 

- I mean the day you met 

- She went in for a handshake and you hugged her 

- She was surprised at first 

- I mean this was a complete stranger hugging her 

- But the weight of your arms around her did make her feel oddly calm 

- Despite the very real fact that you could be a stalker or a murderer or both 

- But then you quickly introduced yourself 

- A timid smile on your face as you pull away 

- And try your hardest not to show how embarrassed you are that you’ve literally just hugged someone as soon as you met them

- But she laughs 

- A shy giggle that sets a couple of butterflies free in your stomach 

- And that really sets the precedent for the rest of your lives 

- Because after that day 

- There’s not a day goes by where you’re not touching her

- Or just next to her

- Every morning you hug her and give her some coffee 

- And it feels like you can’t go more than a few hours without seeing her 

- It just feels like there’s an ache in your chest that gets bigger and bigger the longer she’s away from you 

- She just makes you feel safe 

- And although she’ll never admit it to anyone 

- Cami feels the same way 

- From the first day she met you 

- She knew she never wanted to be far from you 

- Because you made her feel safe within the first few seconds of meeting her 

- And you look at her like she created the entire universe and everything in it

- You make her laugh 

- And bring her coffee in the morning when she really needs it 

- Even though she never asks 

- And most of all you make her feel something she’s never felt before 

- Or at least something she’s never allowed herself to feel properly 

- But with you it’s okay 

- And as the days turns into weeks and then months 

- She feels herself craving more of your attention 

- Not that she would say that out loud 

- Because when your fingers brush over her skin 

- Or when you hug her 

- Or lean into her after KJ has told a stupid joke 

- You’re laughter infecting the rest of the cast and crew 

- And making pride fill in her chest for reasons still unbeknownst to her 

- She finds herself feeling her entire body set itself on fire

- And she craves for more

- And the clinginess only gets worse when the two of you eventually stop avoiding your feelings 

- And finally get together 

- Because as soon as you’ve made it official 

- Your hands in hers 

- Giving it gentle squeezes as a reassurance that you’re not going anywhere 

- And she’s glad of it 

- Because she’s waited a year to feel you properly against her 

- And she isn’t going to let you go anytime soon 

- Anytime you’re together 

- You’re constantly finding a way to touch her 

- During interviews 

- Your fingers will brush against hers 

- And the two of you will have to fight blushes off your cheeks

- It become so obvious in the end 

- That after every interview 

- ‘#cami’sshadow’ trends every single time 

- And when you try and distance yourself from her 

- Like suggest you sit apart for the next few interviews 

- Or maybe not post about each other for a little while 

- She gives you a look as if to tell you that she doesn’t care

- She wants you this close to her 

- She wants to feel the softness of your skin against hers 

- In whatever way you’ll allow 

- She’s the luckiest girl in the world to be the recipient of your sometimes over the top affection.

- When you’re hanging out with friends 

- You’ll wrap an arm around her waist and she’ll have to hide the smile that always tries to sneak its way onto her lips 

- Because she knows 

- As soon as she looks at you 

- She’ll melt 

- And then she’ll never hear the end of it from any of her friends 

- And yeah 

- They tease the two of you 

- But it just makes you do it more 

- As soon as one of them make a comment 

- You’ll shuffle closer to her 

- And lean your head on her shoulder 

- Pressing gentle kisses to her cheek and neck 

- ‘oh god, we’re never gonna pry them apart tonight’ 

- ‘shut up, it’s not my fault she finds me irresistible’ 

- ‘yeah, okay, this hug is over now.’ 

- ‘rude’ 

- And when you’re friends aren’t teasing you 

- It’s her 

- With a playful roll of her eyes when you stare at her with wide eyes and a pout because you want a cuddle 

- Or for her to play with your hair 

- Or to just hold your hand 

- Even if you are sat next to each other on her couch watching TV and scrolling through your phones 

- You just want to feel her near

- So she coo’s and tells you how adorable you are 

- And then teases you even more when a heat creeks up your neck and over your cheek while you drop her gaze or bury your head in her shoulder 

- She gives you the affectionate name of ‘limpet’ 

- Which when your friends pick up on 

- You get teased for even more 

- However Cami quickly tells them to chose another name 

- Because you’re her limpet 

- Not theirs 

- And she wouldn’t want you any other way 

[givemeanaccountalready]

This is dumb, and I don’t know why I feel the need to share this, but for some reason, I just cannot stop thinking of the first time I really advocated for myself against a position of authority and the pride I have for younger me for finally saying enough. Like I was a shy, anxious, people pleaser who avoided conflict like crazy, and I had a high school counselor tell me I was going to wreck my future by not picking up an elective, and in a moment of sleep-deprived clarity, I argued back.

Granted, this stream of consciousness was brought on by remembering childhood movies which led me to remembering childhood bullshit which then led to me remembering a post about how the great thing about being out of high school and an adult is that you can just leave social situations that you don’t want to be a part of and no one can force you to stay. You can just go, and it’s freeing.

I had a couple of classes in college where I literally looked at the syllabus, looked at the clock, looked back at the syllabus, and immediately after class ended, I dropped the course and replaced it with another one. There was one class in college back during the lockdown where I was like, ma’am, the government is still telling us to only leave the house for food and a walk around the park and you want me to find someone to shadow? And I dropped the class before the time ended.

I mean, I sent a boilerplate email stating that I was regretfully dropping their class because I couldn’t give it the dedication it deserves, but still. My one sister was in high school and her counselor gave her crap about wanting to switch an elective to a different one in the same period during the add/drop period because she “made a commitment.” Fuck you and your scary words, Mrs. Guidance Counselor.

We had the same guidance counselor which made me remember this moment. I was a senior in high school, with more than enough elective credits to graduate. I was an honor roll student throughout high school. I had passed 3 AP classes and their exams with flying colors. I was currently taking 3 AP classes, one of them was chemistry, and 2 honors classes. I had a CAD elective first period where I was supposed to learn how engineers design things or some shit like that. Somehow, the school didn’t give me a lunch period. I had to eat lunch in my one class where my teacher kindly allowed me to eat so long as I didn’t leave a mess. Now I’m tired, anxious, and don’t want to be in that elective class because I no longer wanted to study engineering and I was the only girl in a class of mostly 14-15 year old boys. Seniors, if they had first period free, could come in late. I took my ass down to the guidance counselor during a study hall to drop the class and sign up for late arrival.

The counselor proceeds to tell me that she will not let me drop the class because I clearly didn’t give this enough thought and she had plenty of kids with more pressing issues about their schedules (kids being put in the wrong level classes), can I wait one more week until things settle down? I say fine. I wait a week. I come back. She starts suggesting classes I can take to fill up that first period block. I ask for the late arrival. She asks me to think about it and give it a few days. I wait a couple days and come back with my drop slip. I am getting this goddamn late arrival.

She tells me that I’m not thinking about this clearly. I resist the urge to snap and tell her that I have given this serious thought. She says I have not. I point out that my course load is already heavy. She counters that the electives she offered to enroll me in are easy. And I get even more annoyed. I point out that outside of school, I play a team sport and work part time. I have enough on my plate. I need some R&R. She then proceeds to tell me that if I don’t take an elective, colleges will reject me and think I’m lazy.

I then proceed to tell her that if a college rejects me over a half credit elective course, then I want no part of that college anyway. I want my late arrival. I am getting this late arrival. I did not leave until she gave in. Late arrival gave me another 1-1.5 hrs of sleep that my poor soul needed desperately. It definitely kept me from killing my poor lab partner in AP Chemistry.

The joke is on her, because I proceeded to get my Bachelor’s of Science from a good university with “Magna Cum Laude” stamped in fancy script.

I honestly don’t know why there had to be so much back and forth. I hadn’t even had that much of a stubborn argument with my own parents. There’s not really a point to this story other than I’m proud of my younger self growing a spine and not just accepting what someone in charge told me as fact. I guess, maybe it doesn’t have to be a big thing for you to be proud over it. This was a really stupid game of chicken that I got into and won. And for that, I’m happy, because starting small makes it easier to take bigger steps.

[queerwelsh]

Happy Pride 2021! 🏳️‍🌈

Dyma fideo Cymraeg am hanes Pride/Balchder yng Nghaerdydd - gyda hanesydd Daryl Leeworth ac is-deitlau Cymraeg.

Here’s a Welsh-language video on the history of Pride in Cardiff, which has first held in 1990. There was however a march in Cardiff in 1985 against homophobic hate crimes and media due to the stigma around the AIDS epidemic. The first official ‘Pride Cymru’ was in 1999, again in reaction to increased homophobic hate crimes in Cardiff.

[stardewremixed]

hii I love your blog, your headcanons are really fun to read.

I just saw your pasta post and I wanted to ask you, could you write something similar, but with desserts? like, the bachelors and Bachelorettes favorite desserts, I they can cook them or not, etc

Thanks :) I hope you have a nice day

Love this idea! I will absolutely do this. tagging @bored-farmer

🍨 Stardudes Favorite Desserts 🍨

Alex

Despite working at the ice cream stand, he doesn't particularly like ice cream, but he enthusiastically shares suggestions for flavors based on your mood or preferences.  

Alex is grateful that the owner lets him experiment with flavors. His latest creation? Pancake ice cream!!! Buttermilk ice cream with maple syrup and chunks of chocolate covered bacon. Oh yeah! Who doesn’t love breakfast?

Evelyn's desserts are the best in the world. He has a very "YOU-CAN-FIGHT-ME-if-you-disagree" mentality about it. He's uber protective of his Granny.

Chocolate chip is his fave. He won't even look at someone else's cookies, but if you're friends with both Evelyn and Alex, he would invite the Farmer to join a baking session. He would purposely throw flour in your hair to be playful. 

As a kid, Alex recalls sitting in the kitchen and enjoying a cookie and milk after school. Evelyn would kindly ask about his day and sweep the crumbs off his shirt when he was done.

If in a romantic relationship with him, Alex would be strangely blushy if you swept crumbs off his shirt. He views it as a very caring gesture, and associates feelings of warmth and care with it.

When married to him, Alex is over the moon whenever you bake dog treats for Dusty. 

Elliott

This man knows his wines and chocolates. Every chocolate has the perfect pairing. White chocolate and Moscato. Milk chocolate and Pinot Noir. Dark chocolate and Merlot. 

Really loves chocolate covered pomegranate seeds. Any kind of chocolate covered fruit really. If you dance with him at the Flower Festival, he will send you chocolate covered strawberry as a thank you. 

Leah talked him into painting with chocolate once. It was a messy experience. Watch the hair! Never again. 

He savors every experience. He never eats fast. Each bite of exceptional chocolate is followed by a happy little hum. 

Is actively petitioning Mayor Lewis for a Stardew Chocolate Festival. If in a relationship with the farmer, he would recommend their chocolate covered fruits and nuts, and suggest chocolate infused honey. 

In the fall, he craves your pomegranate crisp. Would borrow an ice cream maker from Marnie to churn homemade fresh vanilla to go with this famous dessert. Probably called Willy over to help. He would show up at the farm, puffing hair out of his face, and surprise you with the dessert. 

Harvey

Likes a little mandel bread with his morning coffee. A crisp, twice-baked Jewish cookie like biscotti. He pulls the cookie out of the jar, and nibbles on it while waiting for his coffee to brew. A delightful morning ritual.

His mother taught him how to make Sufganiyot (jelly-filled donuts) served around Hanukkah. Harvey pulls out his rolling pin, apron, and baking tools every year for this tradition. Then he serves the donuts down at the VA. While there he would try to cheer up Kent and Linus. His donuts are one of the only things that make them happy, and he takes pride in bringing joy to these men who served his country. 

Harvey wouldn’t keep any donuts for himself. So if there are any leftover, he will pass them out for free at the Winter Night Market. Hey, they go great with coffee. 

Closes the clinic for the day to drive to Zuzu in early winter. The city is the only place he can find the traditional Hanukkah gelt (gold coin chocolates) and candied dreidels. If in a relationship with him, he invites you along for the trip. You enjoy jazz during the road trip. He packs hot cocoa in a thermos and an extra scarf for the trip. He’s embarrassed to admit that he forgot an extra cup. You’ll have to share. (now Harvey, is that so bad?) 😉

Sam

Hands down. A root beer float guy. Any kind of soda float guy. Strawberry. Cola. Orange. Grape. Makes funny ice cream moustaches with Vincent. Jodi comes in the kitchen wondering what all the giggling is about. 

Would be genuinely so surprised that people make alcoholic root beer. His excitable little grin warms your heart. Doesn’t realize how addicting these are. Would slosh back multiples on the lake pier with Shane (who is very what-the-fizzlesticks about it). Wakes up the next day with a hangover. 

Absolutely a breakfast pastry lover. Cinnamon rolls. Muffins. Turnovers. Bagels. Croissants. Danishes. Strudels. Maple bars are, of course, his favorite. 

When he was a kid, Kent would take him out early on Saturday mornings so Jodi could sleep in. They would pick up donuts, coffee, and the newspaper. When he arrived back at the house, Sam would whistle the Reveille (the military morning bugle song) to let his mom know they arrived. Jodi hated it, but Kent was secretly so proud his son remembered the song.  

Would promise his whole class that he would bring something for the bake sale. Jodi always sighed because she wasn’t “informed,” but she made the desserts anyway. 

Sam is pretty abysmal in the kitchen, constantly distracted, missing the timer, running back to the fridge for ingredients he forgot, leaving the oven on after taking stuff out. But if you offered to make sweets with him, he would make his absolute best effort. 

An ideal date night would be making cinnamon sticks to eat with pizza drizzled with honey from your farm. If you fell asleep in his room, he would reheat a few in the morning and bring you coffee in bed.  

Sebastian

Rolls his own mochi. He gets really into it too. Spends a day picking out the best ingredients.

Makes a cooking music playlist that sounds nothing like what a normal cooking playlist would sound like. Heavy metal, some goth punk, random alternative.

Headphones on, he would cook in the middle of the night. That's when he is least likely to be disturbed. Unless of course Robin is working late on your farm. If she happens in, he gives his mom a taste.

If in a romantic relationship, Seb would invite you to join him in making mochi. And he would carry you home after you passed out at 2am, tuck you in bed, kiss you on the forehead, and leave you mochi in your freezer.

Shane

He's a quick and easy kind of guy. Cookies, candy, ice cream. Gets a good employee discount at Joja so he can stock up on his faves. Best hangover food.

Frequently patronizes Alex's stand in the summertime. The ice cream tastes better. He might even hang out for a bit and chat gridball with Alex if he has nothing better to do.

Sometimes Evelyn leaves him cookies. He likes her rocky road bites. The crunchy sweetness is delicious.

Egg custard tarts are a favorite of his. Best with fresh eggs from the Ranch. Every year Marnie makes it for Shane on his birthday.

If in a romantic relationship with him, he would learn how to hand crank ice cream just for you, with fresh cream from Marnie's ranch and a big bag of ice from Pierre's (once Joja closes, he would get a job there).

Lance 

can’t wait until they serve stardrop sorbet at Alex’s ice cream stand. It only happens once a year. Sets his alarm extra early that morning. Shows up before they’re even open.

would be over the moon if you baked him a golden pumpkin pie. 

If in a romantic relationship, he comes home just for your kisses - it’s dessert enough. 😘 Brings you a treat from his latest travel spot. 

Magnus 

working on creating a dessert elixir - it would sweeten any poor quality food for a short time. 

anything with black licorice - even in coffee. 

definitely likes spooky treats - bat brownies, ghost marshmallows, candy corn pretzel spiders. 

bakes winter star cookies every winter. Drops sprinkles all over the kitchen. 

appreciates if the Farmer brings him sweets while he’s double checking the magical barrier. 

Victor 

has expensive taste and knows it. You can blame Olivia. 

also loves stardrop sorbet. He makes happy little sounds when he eats it. 

loves coffee-flavored desserts. Cappucino mousse is his self-declared favorite, but he enjoys coffee-flavored ice cream in the summers. 

waits in line a long time for his favorite truffle popcorn. It may not be a typical dessert, but it’s a delicious snack. 

orders tiramisu from a specific bakery in Zuzu City. If in a romantic relationship with the Farmer, he would share. 

I'll do the bachelorettes next. Hope you enjoyed!

[soleilsuhh]

stray kids ⊹  °   . ˚ little things they do when falling for their fwb !

requested: i love your little things posts so much i’ve read all of them for so many times! i’d like to suggest little things stray kids do when falling for their fwb? thank you so much faye ily <3

chan — 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂. perhaps you mentioned in passing that you’re a huge fan of a certain artist and you think he’s forgotten about it but one day, he surprises you with a vip ticket to their concert. or perhaps, he somehow becomes your designated driver and offers to drive you to places and even sacrifices his sleep to pick you up from parties. or perhaps, he comes over to your place just to watch that one horror movie with you so that you don’t have to do it alone.

minho — 𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝘇𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁. sometimes unknowingly and sometimes knowingly because he can’t help it. and there’s a certain kind of fondness and pureness in his eyes, as if to say ‘i’ll go anywhere with you if only you’d let me.’ but sometimes there’s also a sense of sadness to his gaze like he’s realizing he’s catching feelings for someone who might not feel the same; that you could break his heart to pieces and he would let you. and when you ask him why he’s looking at you like that, he smiles a small smile, his eyes softening before he says, “you know why,”

changbin — 𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂. it’s not strange for him to know a thing or two about you like which days of the week you’re free. but he pleasantly catches you off-guard by remembering your favorite food, tv shows and characters, and what kinds of pets you want, even when you don’t even remember you told him. and there’s the little not-so-subtle pride and joy in his eyes and grin when he sees you’re touched although he tries to act cool about it by saying without thinking, “why wouldn’t i know that about you? we spend a lot of time together,”

hyunjin — 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. and he starts holding your hand more because although words may not leave his mouth, he really wishes for you to stay — to stay the night, to stay with him, beside him. and he holds your hand a little tighter each night and starts developing a habit of squeezing your hand before every goodbye.

jisung — 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲. it starts off with occasional memes and tiktok videos then slowly comes the morning calls just because, late night calls because he wants to hear your voice, texts about the mundane things in his life throughout the day. and on nights where thoughts of you keep him awake, he calls you and by the end of the phone call, he wants to say i love you but he keeps his feelings at bay with a soft goodnight.

felix — 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲. he grows incredibly fond of more than just your appearance, like the way your eyes fill with so much passion and life when talking about something you love, or the way you spend so much time clumsily baking a cake just to brighten your friend’s day. he promised himself that he would never catch feelings, but there’s a storm outside at 2 a.m and you’re both so tired yet laughing way too loud and hard, and his eyes meet yours, and he know he’s indefinitely screwed.

seungmin — 𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲. there's a sense of innocence in the way he touches you, whether it be a playful, casual pet on your head or a long, lingering hug on cold nights or the soft strokes of his fingers on your cheek and jawline during pillowtalks. and when he kisses you, it's gentle and soft and warm, without the heat of something more behind it.

jeongin — 𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘀. he wants to hang out with you more and in hopes of you sticking around, he makes plans in advance, sometimes a few days in advance, sometimes a week, sometimes a month, sometimes even a whole year as he talks about about how he’ll help you decorate the christmas tree next december. and he’s always so conscious about whether you’re having fun to the point it seems he might be trying a little too hard and when you bring it up and reassures him, he sheepishly says, “i don't want to bore you i guess, i want you to keep me around,"

[elysianslove]

secrets that you keep; iwaizumi hajime 

synopsis; in which his best friend is secretly a camgirl. part 1, part 2 

pairings; iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre; smut

trigger warnings; i highly recommend reading the first two parts before this. they’re only drabbles that introduce everything! anyways, this is absolute filth. don’t read this if any of the stuff mentioned could trigger you, please! masturbation, camgirl stuff, one mention of the word ‘daddy,’ self choking, degradation, humiliation, dacryphilia, unprotected sex, creampie, a lot of choking, accidental breathplay, not proofread unfortunately 

she knows. 

does she? 

it’s an ongoing inner battle he’s been having for weeks now, ever since he’d been directed to that trending video of yours. he sees you in his dreams, hears you loud and clear, moaning and crying for him, and worst of all, he feels you, so perfectly, against his, around him, and it’s overwhelming in the worst way possible. even maintaining eye contact is tiresome at this point. 

but he does wonder whether you know or not, more often than he should— were you deliberately calling out for him, in hopes that he’d find this video somehow? or had you said it because you’d assumed this is your safe place, that there’s no way he’d be able to find these videos? had it been a slip up? or, more accurately, multiple slip ups? what were the chances anyways, that it had been an accident, or unintentional, or intentional and he had been losing sleep over it, or that he wasn’t the hajime you were crying out for? 

his heard hurt. awfully. there’s already the constant worry of regulating his breathing around you and cleansing his thoughts of anything he’d seen of you the moment you meet, but this added dilemma is in no way helping. every day that you text him for a coffee date, or a night out after a rather stressful week, or a night in at your apartment, and he agrees, his mind diverts immediately to where it shouldn’t as soon as he lays eyes on you. and the worst part of it all is how aware he is of how wrong this is. he knows it’s wrong to choose the revealing shirt over the other when you ask him for his opinion, just because he wants that effortless glance at your cleavage. it’s also so wrong of him to give a higher rating to that obscenely short dress than that other, knee length one because of the way your thighs squeeze when you sit. it’s definitely wrong of him to offer clasping your anklet, the one he’d gotten for you, the one that had been the dead giveaway to your secret online persona, just because your legs feel so soft against the rough pads of his fingers, when he resists the urge to trail upwards, upwards, upwards—

it’s fucking ridiculous. 

he can’t believe just how deep of a rabbit hole finding one of your videos is, how it’s impossible to climb out and away, and even worse, how he keeps falling deeper. the one time he decides to jerk off to porn. it’s really ridiculous. 

about a week ago, three weeks after finding that video of yours someone had uploaded— which had been taken down because of copyright, and hajime personally thinks that’s fair, considering there’s a reason you pay people to watch your videos and look through your photos, otherwise you would’ve taken the liberty to post everything for free yourself— hajime gives in, and subscribes to you. it’s with a randomized account name, something he tried his very best to make as anonymous as possible, so that it would in no way lead back to him. he doesn’t check in on your account as often, also having taken the time to turn off notifications and not have anything sent to his email, and it’s mostly out of shame. he already feels dirty enough having seen this much of you, even more that he’s fantasized about you. he’s not about to make it worse for himself.

every once in a while, though, especially days where he’s sure he’s completely free of responsibilities, he logs on, and finds your page. it just so happens that tonight, you’re hosting a live stream. swallowing his pride and shame, literally so, he shifts on his bed, sitting up straighter, and clicks to join. 

he’d been a little late apparently, because you’re already bare, sitting on a chair. your legs are lifted up, knees bent and hooked over the chair’s arms, the camera angled to show everything, from your cute eyes to the flesh of your ass. there’s a vibrator in your hand, buzzing lightly as it hovers by your clit, dipping between your folds, sliding back up again to rub lazily at your clit. beneath you, on the chair, is a small damp spot, leaking from your cunt. hajime stops himself before his jaw falls slack at the sight of you, and instead, he clears his throat, gritting his teeth and watching carefully. 

you’re not so talkative during your videos, just exclamations of pleasure and (the most beautiful of) noises, so he hadn’t expected you to be during your lives. to his surprise, you are, and it’s filthy. 

whimpering lightly, you press the vibrator harsher on your clit, your other hand traveling up to squeeze at your breast. “m’so needy,” you admit with a soft pout, adding, “want you to tell me what to do, mmh.”

he’s assuming the ‘you’ is the audience, whoever’s willing to speak up, and it’s then that he notices the chat option. his eyes flicker curiously to it, hands twitching where they sit fisted at his lap as he sees the chat explode with orders and commands and suggestions for you. 

one writes, stuff urself full, and hajime gapes. 

another commands, wanna see u cry tn, and hajime privately agrees. 

someone else writes, gonna squirt princess? 

hajime’s hands twitch again, and he frowns, digging his nails into his palms. you’re ignoring all the suggestions, and it’s obvious because you’re reading through them, mouthing some of them, giggling at some, curiously gasping, ‘oh,’ at others, eyebrow quirking. the vibrator trails down to your hole again, and you experimentally dip it inside slightly, shivering visibly as the vibrations rush through you, and the moment he hears you moan so loud, he thinks, fuck it, and his hands reach for his keyboard. 

choke yourself. 

fuck, fuck, fuck, he did not just do that. 

his heart is racing embarrassingly fast beneath his ribcage, loud and pathetically deafening in his ears as he watches your eyes read through the rest of the messages, and you’ve stopped mouthing them, your eyes are widening— which one are you at now? are you just going to ignore him? why wouldn’t you? of course you—

“you’d like that, huh?” you teasingly slur, a lazy, cheeky grin painting your lips, your teeth biting down on your lower lip and your hand— your hand— 

it’s trailing upwards, upwards, upwards, until it finds its way around your throat, resting lightly, and just as he sees your fingers squeeze at the sides of your neck slightly, carefully, you pout at the camera, looking straight at him, and asking, “like this, daddy?” 

a low fuck wheezes past his lungs, and his hand quickly presses down at the bulge in his sweatpants, squeezing and rubbing at his clothed dick as he watches you, entranced. people watching you with him have taken to thanking him for the idea, and to praising you, calling you a good girl, cursing, rapidly typing out something along the lines of you’re so hot i wanna fuck you so bad, and god, hajime hates that he relates to something as stupid as that. 

your hips roll and your head falls back, hand not once leaving your throat. if anything, your grip tightens. you click on the vibrator, and the buzzing becomes louder, your moans with it, as if you were competing. you cry and gasp and sob, writhing in your own hold, your thighs tensing and your hole clenching around nothing as you harshly rub the vibrator against your clit. your cunt gushes and drips as you bring yourself closer to your orgasm, as you cry out a string of, “m’gonna cum, so close, so close!” and a mixture of lewd curses, until finally, you cum. you’re sent over the edge, legs swinging on the chair, high pitched squeals falling from your lips— which hajime can’t decide are real or not, or whether he wants them to be or not. you thrash and cry, tears, as promised to some other watcher, dripping down your cheeks. 

the last straw however, is your comedown from your high, sobs hiccuping and muscles twitching, eyes half closed and body limp as you mewl out, “hajime, hajime, hajime,” like you’re not even aware you’re doing it. like it’s subconscious. 

hajime swears again, a deep, low, “fuck,” and looks down to find a damp spot on his lap. he really came from barely any friction, all because of you. this really is as ridiculous as it gets. 

the next time he sees you, there are the faintest of bruises on your neck. it’s not so obvious that just anyone would notice, but ever since becoming hyperaware of everything that is you and everything that you do, it’s hard not to have them be the first thing he sees. to ensure that the atmosphere between the two of you remains easy, he flicks at your neck and tuts with a smirk, asking you jokingly if you were in your hoe phase. 

“so vulgar, hajime,” you sarcastically retort, teasing him. “you like calling me mean things?” and he has to avert eye contact because all his walls crumble so quick. 

it’s just the two of you tonight, in his apartment, all your other mutual friends having cancelled at one point or another. it’s not an unusual occurrence; more often than not, the two of you are alone. however, it’s been a while since you’d been alone, privately. a while meaning ever since hajime had discovered your side hustle of a sort. he hadn’t been purposely avoiding this— no, maybe he has, but to be fair, he’s still yet to recover from the initial shock. 

it also doesn’t help that since today had meant to be a relaxing night in, you’re dressed casual, but in the hottest fucking way possible. he hopes he hadn’t been blushing as hard as he thinks, and feels, he was, when you’d first stepped into his home. on your hips is a short, black skirt, flowing out to your upper thighs, where just above your knees start a pair of dark thigh highs, squeezing at your thighs and accentuating your legs as you strut around his apartment, feet bare of any shoes or slippers. he can’t decide whether it’s cute or just plain hot. somehow, with you, it’s both. your shirt is off the shoulder, a dark, navy blue bardot, and beneath it, peeking out to rest at your collarbones, is a black bralette. he can barely just see the intricate lace designs, but it disappears and dips beneath your shirt before he can see more of it. 

you’re spread out on the couch, laying along it on your stomach, a pillow tucked in your arms and beneath your head, your clothed legs bent and swinging up in the air. he sits right by you, thigh right by your head, his body as tense as ever. it’s impossible not to be you, not with you in such close proximity to him when only a few days ago he’d watched you make yourself cum, and had heard you whimper out his name after. who can blame him, really?

with your eyes trained on the screen, he hadn’t been expecting you to speak up. 

“iwa, what type of porn do you watch?” 

he nearly chokes, eyes widening as he spares you a glance. your legs continue to swing innocently, your eyes unmoving, your voice unwavering. the suddenness of the question certainly threw him off, but it’s your nonchalance that really shocks him. but, considering everything, it really shouldn’t have. 

“uh, what?” he offers weakly, wincing slightly at the barely there crack in his voice. 

you sigh, shifting to sit up. you plant yourself on your knees, spreading them apart slightly to get comfortable, and shrugging at him. “i’m just curious,” you say. “or,” your eyes squint cautiously, your head cocking to the side slightly, “do you not watch porn?” 

challengingly, his arms lift up to cross at his chest, and he doesn’t miss the way your eyes momentarily glance at the way his biceps bulge. it makes his confidence spike slightly, nervousness ebbing away. “what type of porn do you watch?” 

you gasp dramatically, joking, “take a girl out to dinner first, my god.” he laughs, relaxing lightly at the banter, before his eyes fall back to you. you inch forward curiously, cautiously, still on your knees. now closer to him, you ask again, “seriously, i’m really curious! confirm my suspicions for me.” 

“oh?” he quirks an eyebrow. “so you think you know?” 

at this, you offer him a knowing smile, eyes slightly half lidded. you’re somehow even closer now, leaning towards him with your hands resting on the small space between you and him in the couch, helping you in lifting yourself up slightly on your knees as you say in a low voice, “baby, i think everyone knows.” 

at the sight of you by his side, he feels himself shiver, and an idea invades his mind before he can even process it. “oh, do you now?” he’s not sure where this boldness is emerging from, especially with how cautious and shameful he’d been and felt for weeks now, but he accepts it either way, because the way you’re staring at him like that, he never wants to let it go. and although he wants to drag out this intense eye contact even longer, in order to do what he wants to do, he has to break it, reaching for his phone instead. unable to contain your curiosity, you peak over, watching with confusion as he types out a link. 

the blood drains from your face when you recognize your page on his browser, and he’s logged on— he’s subscribed. 

“what type of porn do i like to watch?” he wonders rhetorically. the phone is pushed aside, and he sits up straighter so that even on your knees, he looms over you. his eyes are skimming over you, along your body, up to your neck, to your lips, to your shocked, wide eyes. and just as his hand trails up to your throat, his palm resting at the base and one finger tapping lightly, he says, “the type where my favorite girl cries out my name when she cums for the world to see.” 

the hand around your throat—

“you,” you breathe out, and finally, finally, when your brain makes sense of everything, your body relaxes, sags against him, leaning more into him until his hand’s properly wrapped around your throat. 

with your mind hazing over, you reach over, and kiss him. 

he meets you halfway, as if having expected it, lips pressing harshly against his. his hand tightens as he pulls you closer, lifting you up slightly and bringing you closer to him as his mouth parts, breathing you in, and kissing you deeper, lewder. you shiver and gasp, hands grasping at his wrist and forearm, not to push him away but rather to urge him closer, as you kiss him back just as eagerly. it seems like hours, with his hand around your neck, tight and a daunting reassurance, and your lips wet and hot against his, but eventually, his hand slides down, the other mirroring it, finding their way to your waist, squeezing and bunching at the skirt as he, with complete and utter and shocking ease, lifts you up off the couch. 

you gasp as he stands up with you, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he pulls you to him. as he blindly walks the two of you to his bedroom, he breathlessly asks in between your kisses, “is this— you sure this is okay?” 

with a sharp tug at his hair, you jokingly spit out, “iwa shut up.” 

he tosses you onto the bed, allowing you a minute to strip yourself of your shirt while he slips out of his own, before quickly falling above you, caging you in with his arms as he kisses you again. “not iwa,” he quietly asks of you. 

for a moment you’re confused, before everything clicks again— your slip ups— and your legs lift up, wrapping around his waist and pulling his hips closer to yours just as you mewl out, “hajime, please.” 

god, he is way easier than he thought he was. 

his entire body shudders above you, one hand lowering to push at your skirt to grind his hips down against yours until his clothed crotch meets your bare cunt and— holy fuck, holy fuck. 

“fuck, you slut.” 

you gasp at both his words and the feel of his bulge pressing down against your clit, his lips meeting your neck instead. “you do like calling me mean things,” you say, and he scoffs, his hand traveling upwards to squeeze at your breasts instead. 

“you like me calling you mean things,” he notes, and you let out a muffled moan as he pinches at your nipples through the bralette, lips biting and sucking at your neck. 

“i do,” you pant, arching up into him. “i do, i do.” his hands are fumbling at your chest, and god, they’re so large, so big and warm and harsh, it’s fogging up your brain. 

“yeah, yeah, fucking whore,” he growls, pushing himself slightly on his knees, hands tugging at the bralette. his fingers dip past, gripping the fabric tightly, and as he says, “can’t fucking— take this shit— off,” he tears through it, knuckles whitening as he pulls it away from your body, or what’s left of it. the frills of the ruined bra fall off the edge of his bed, and he watches your wide eyes and gaping mouth follow it, so he grabs at your jaw, twisting your gaze away from it and grunting a low, “shut up.” 

you pull away from the kiss, breathing heavily as you say, “that was so fucking hot, hajime,” before kissing him again. he parts his mouth as you lead him to you again, tongue easily meeting yours. 

it’s a messy kiss as he slips himself out of his sweatpants, taking his boxers with it and discarding them somewhere in his room. his cock slaps against his stomach, a single string of precum messily staining his tan abs. your eyes are quick to gaze down, lips painted a dazzling grin as his hand finds his cock, squeezing at the head and smearing his precum along. 

“knew you were fucking big,” you gasp, eyes trained on him as he strokes himself above you, and he is. he’s so big, thick and heavy, and veiny and your mouth waters at how that’s going to feel when inside of you, stretching you out so good, so much better than any of the toys you had at home. “i thought,” a squeal hiccups out of you as both of his hands grab at your hips from beneath your skirt, one sticky and warmer than the other, “about you all the time.” 

your confession draws his attention, and when he’s pulled you close enough, two of his fingers trail to your cunt, quirking an, “oh?” just as he dips his fingers inside. the lack of resistance he’s met with is surprising, and he chokes out, “did you stretch yourself out before coming here? fuck yourself on some fake cock?” 

tightlipped, you moan, brows furrowed and back arched into him. god, his fingers were not enough. “yes, yes,” you gasp, head falling back. despite not needing to, he still fingers you, his thick digits fucking into you slowly, driving you insane by the second. “yes, i— pretended t’was you,” you whine loudly. at your words, he curls his fingers inside of you, twisting his wrist and pressing his palm directly on your clit. 

“do you always?” he lowly asks, dipping closer to you as he fucks his fingers deeper. his fingers were inside of you, the cunt he’d spent over a month marveling at through a screen, the pretty pussy his dick had drooled over for hours. you’re real, as real as ever beneath him falling apart, making a mess of your black skirt, drenching it with your arousal. 

you moan out a hum, nodding dumbly as his fingers vibrate with the intensity of speed inside of you, your toes curling in your thigh highs and face twisting to press into his mattress. “always,” you cry out, like a promise. “always think of you— hajime!”

it’s an unexpected orgasm, hitting you so fast and quick that it’s outright dizzying. it has you lifting your hips up into his fingers and palm, grinding and trembling, your legs falling and spreading open, shaking wildly by your side and above you as he fucks you through the orgasm. 

“hajime, hajime, hajime,” you chant, words trailing off into tiny sobs and shuddering breaths as your hips slowly fall back onto the bed, body still trembling with aftershocks. 

you’re fucked out beyond words already that you genuinely don’t feel a thing until he’s pressing inside of you, the fat head of his cock stretching you out. he’s really no match for your toys, and if seeing him hadn’t been enough confirmation, the feel of him pressing inside of you definitely is. he doesn’t ease himself in slowly, urgently grabbing the back of your thighs with either hand, keeping your legs spread for him as he bottoms out. 

“fuck, fuck, knew you’d feel so good,” he grunts, brows furrowed harshly as he digs his fingers deeper against the flesh of your thighs, forcing your legs closer to your chest, and somehow pushing himself even deeper within you. you whine and mewl, toes curling and uncurling and legs trembling. “knew it the moment i saw your pretty pussy creamin’ around that thick cock.” 

at the reminder that he’s watched and witnessed you, multiple times, that he’s subscribed to you willingly and curiously, you clench down around him. you feel him twitch inside of you, groaning loudly as he falls closer to you, your legs falling to his waist. 

“you like knowing i was watching you?” he sneers, his hand reaching up and gripping at your face, squishing your cheeks and forcing a pout on your lips. your eyes nearly fucking cross as he rams into you, his fingers digging into your jaw. “you like that i fucked my fist every night to you? to your pretty cunt and your pretty noises and your pretty face— yes, good girl, that one.” 

your eyes do cross this time, spurred on by his words, your tongue peaking out through the small gap he allows with how harsh he’s gripping your face. he’s pushing out little mewls and cries from you, but otherwise, you quite honestly feel braindead. 

“fuck, you’re a gorgeous little slut,” he gasps. “all mine to fuck and use.”

you’re quick to nod rapidly, whining and moaning for him as you grip at his biceps. you’re choking on your breath as you struggle to keep up with him while he fucks you into the mattress, so fucking hard and rough that you’re sure there’ll be an indentation of you once you leave. you can feel your cunt gushing, and you can hear it too, squelching loudly with every thrust of his hips, every time his cock fucks into you. your skirt feels sticky and gross, and so does the rest of you, but you’ve never, never, felt this euphoric, this blissed out. 

your stomach tightens impossibly, the tension gradually increasing as your walls tightly squeeze and clench at his cock. slowly and surely, the pressure within you increases, your hands flying to hajime’s arm, the arm whose hand grips your face, which quickly moves to your throat at your simple gasping warning that you were close. 

“gonna cum, gonna cum, hajime, fuck!” 

he tightens his grip, pressing harsher on the sides of your neck as your eyes shut tightly, your head falling back once more. 

“yeah, come on, show me how pretty you look cumming on a real cock,” he whispers by your ear, using the hand that’s around your throat to lift up your head, before roughly pushing it back down, squeezing tighter. “you like it this rough?— shit, shit, you’re tightening.” 

you scream, voice cracking and broken as he slams into you again, his hips grinding against yours momentarily, pelvis hitting your clit— and you’re gone, thrashing in his hold, fat tears streaming down your cheeks as you sob and heave, your body shaking uncontrollably beneath him, hips shaking as your orgasm rocks through you. it’s not a few seconds later that he’s spilling inside of you, accidentally pressing his palm down against your throat as he cums, blocking your airway momentarily. 

“hngh,” he gasps deeply, cock twitching inside of you as he cums, hips barely grinding. you’re gasping, a little painfully, struggling to take in any air as he blinks dazedly, before he finally takes notice. “shit, shit, i’m sorry.” 

his hand flies away from your throat, and you inhale sharply, coughing lightly as air fills your lungs all too suddenly. the strength of this man, holy fuck. 

“i’m so sorry; are you okay?” 

chest still heaving, you fall onto the bed, body relaxing as you try and regulate your breathing. “s’okay, i’m okay,” you reassure him, hands reaching up to pat at his cheeks and comb through his messy, sweaty hair. 

he leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and it’s so endearing that you nearly forget he’s still inside of you. but you feel the shift of his cock, feel his cum slowly start to ooze out of your cunt, and he winces from the oversensitivity, shifting away to instead pull out of you. his soft cock falls from your cunt, a steady flow of his cum following. hajime has to physically resist from reaching out to fuck it back into you. 

“i’m sorry i wasn’t careful ‘nough with the—“ he makes a gesture with his hands around his neck, “—the choking.” 

you laugh lightly, tiredly, hands slowly caressing at his sweaty biceps. “stop apologizing,” you reassure him again, shrugging with a small smile as you add, “just be more careful next time.” 

his breath gets caught in his chest, and he only softly exhales when he falls on the bed, to your side, carefully repeating, “next time.” 

from beside him, you lift yourself up on your side on your elbow, palm cradling your head, trying your best not to wince in pain. “hajime?” 

he spares you a glance as he mumbles, “hm?” opting to stare at the ceiling and contemplate whether what had just happened was real life or not. 

“do you wanna do a video with me?” 

he all but chokes. 

end note; please this took me like 4+ hours. please please please don’t flop, and more importantly, i really hope i don’t disappoint. i know this has been a long awaited piece, so i’m praying and hoping you guys love it. 

love you all, mwah <3 

[acciofanfics]

Beg|JamesPotter|NSFW|

Pairing:James Potter x Reader

Warnings: Nothing too intense, but maybe orgasm denial, Public sex (but not really if you have a better way to put it let me know lol)

A/N: A rewrite-ish extended version of a blurb I posted awhile ago. Idk James Potter inspo struck me 🤷‍♀️ Not beta or even proofread really lol -S

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t incredibly often that James found himself feeling absolutely helpless and it wasn’t a feeling he wasn’t entirely sure he enjoyed. What was worse was that this was entirely his fault.

Oddly enough it started with his girlfriend asking to sit beside him in a few classes and pouted that she didn’t understand why Sirius ALWAYS had to be his desk mate. James laughed finding the complaint rather cute and easily fixable, but how was he supposed to not tease her when her face looked that cute? It was then that James made his mistake and leaned over to whisper, “How do you expect me to pay attention to their lectures and keep my hands to myself when you’re sitting next to me in that skirt? You know I bet by the time class was over you’d be begging me to just take you right there on the desk in front of everyone.”

He honestly thought that would be the end of it. James even planned on surprising her and sitting next to her during their Transfiguration class later in the day. Somehow he just knew he was in trouble when (Y/N) took a seat next to him in charms… especially when she didn’t even greet him. He tried to slyly look over at his traitor of a best friend and the hushed chuckle when their gazes met only made James more suspicious of the switch… Merlin, he really hoped that she didn’t expect him to deliver on what he suggested earlier… he’d just been joking.

As the lecture started and (Y/N) resembled a model student, James relaxed a bit. If she could follow along that well and even go as far as to take notes then maybe James should take her advice and pay attention as well. He did manage to focus on the lesson for a few moments, he happened for be so into it that he hadn’t even noticed (Y/N)’s free hand slip under the table until it was on top of his thigh.

James couldn’t help, but straighten up at her touch. Through the corner of his eye he could see her smirk pointed down at her parchment as her finders slowly moved up towards his-

James coughed much louder than he had intended to, summoning multiple pairs of eyes to look back at him. He mumbled an uncharacteristically meek apology and Flitwick went back to his teaching. This might’ve been the first time James wanted to soak up every bit of knowledge being offered up to him. Really, he just wanted to latch onto anything that could keep him from thinking about his his dick that was hardening as (Y/N) palmed him through his trousers.

James waited until Flitwick was turned around before leaving over and whispering to her, “Come on babe…”

“Just pay attention.” She winked and wore a grin that let him know she was entirely pleased with herself.

The treatment only got worse in James’ opinion. He thought he would be somewhat relieved when Sirius sat next to him in the following class, but honestly he was a bit disappointed to see (Y/N) back at her usual searing arrangement. He swore he saw her grin every time he found himself looking at her.

He was actually relived when she was finally next door him again a whole class period later. He wasn’t quite thrilled to see she still planned on barely giving him attention though. Maybe he should give her a taste of her own medicine. The plan seemed solid enough until he reached for her… As soon as his finger brushed her leg she popped his hand… she popped his hand like he was a child… James could hardly believe it, but ever the good boyfriend that he was he withdrew and simply sat there. It might’ve looked like he was pouting, but James would confirm that simply wasn’t the case.

His expression softened when he felt her hand next to his leg, but she didn’t move further than that. Slowly frustration built and James swallowed his pride, and he gently grabbed her hand and placed it on his leg. He may not have been permitted to touch her at the moment, but that didn’t sway him at all from wanting her hands on him.

Her hand remained stationary for awhile until their professor turned his back. She took the opportunity to scoot a little closer so she’d have an easier time whispering quietly to him, “You want something from me?”

Really? Like she didn’t know what she wanted. He bit his tongue metaphorically, trying to hold onto the slightest bit of dignity, but it was hard… she was right there and it’d be so easy for her to- He supposed he now had a better understanding of how she felt all those times he’d gone out of his way to rile her up. Except he couldn’t recall being so mean! He never started things he didn’t intend to finish, and he normally gave in with the slightest bit of indignation. (Y/N) seemed content to wait as long as it took. “Bloody hell, will you just touch me already please?!”

Had they been in a different setting she might’ve been more apt to push him a little further, perhaps ask for specifics. For now she would be satisfied with the vague answer, “Good boy.”

His cock twitched a bit at the praise and it took every ounce of willpower and strength he had not to moan out when her palm was resting back against it. The embarrassment of being caught red-handed would’ve been excruciating obviously, but the real trouble came from if he was too loud then she would surely stop and the thought of that was horrible. An unimaginable thought really, because even though DADA was usually his favorite subject the only thing he could think about was claiming that release that he was denied earlier.

James supposed he must’ve had a tell the he didn’t know about. Maybe it was how he suddenly tensed under her touch. Or maybe how his knuckles were turning white with how hard he was gripping his quill. Whatever it was it must’ve given him away because as soon as he was about to tip right over the edge she stopped. She stopped. Again. James let out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding in when he felt the warmth of her hand abandon him yet again.

James thought he was about to combust… he did think about heading to any empty restroom or closet and taking care of it himself, but something about the mischievous grin on her face kept him glued to his chair. Kept him just waiting.

He really tried to be patient as could, but as soon as the lesson was over he found himself pulling her into the first unused room he found and whipping out his wand to cast a quick: colloportus.

“James! We’re gonna be late!” She scolded him, but the giggle seemed to be proof enough she wasn’t actually that concerned about any tardiness.

“I could not care less! What are you doing to me and why?! Is your plan to do this all day? I don’t think I can bloody take it-“

“That’s funny I thought you said this morning I’d be begging you.” A wicked smile spread across her face and James knew he’d lost, but fuck he didn’t care. Whatever she wanted from him he’d give it to her. If she wanted him to beg then he’d be on his knees in a second.

[cyborg-franky]

I looooved the Buggy and Shanks headcannons you did! do you have any NSFW ones? <3

-Sits in a coffee shop on a writers/artist date with wife- this is the perfect time to write about hot clown dick.

NSFW UNDER CUT

+ Shanks when not dedicated to anymore strikes me as someone who won't say no to a free 'encounter' so has learned alot of moves in his time.

+ Stamina through the through, is a soft top, he wouldn't be rough unless his partner wanted it.

+ Big on post sex cuddles and falling asleep together, totally a polite man who'd make you breakfast after and send you on your way.

+ He's not self-conscious when it comes to being naked and thinks you shouldn't be either. If you are he will simply lavish you with kisses and comforting words.

+ Doesn't have a preference in sex of his partner, he's had just as many offers from peens and poons.

+ His favorite position is against the wall, table, floor, railings, deck, literally everything other then a bed, he gets off on pinning you against things. But he also isn’t against being in the bed. + He doesn’t have kinks per say but he will try anything once. + Likes to be called ‘captain’ in bed is probably his real go to though. + Has very little embarrassment levels, the amount of times one of his crew has stumbled in on Shanks and his partner doing it where they shouldn’t be, everyone just knocks to go into any room to be safe. + Likes when his partner marks him, he feels pride in how he was so good that they felt they could just let go. + Prefers giving then getting oral.

+ A big o’ Switch. Depending on who you are demands on Buggy being top or bottom. He’s versatile.

+ Hasn’t had much experience, and it’s all been a little awkward at times. He loves his body but he’s always worried that during the heat of the moment his nose will go HONK and kill his boner. + Favourite position is doggy style, he likes to be in deep and no chance of his nose going off. + Has pretty good stamina all things considering. He’ll try make you cum at least once before he needs a break, or a nap. + Needs dutch courage for one-night stands but if in a real relationship he’d very handsy and needy. You’ll be across the room and a hand will just appear and slap your ass cheek.

+ Kinks include cockwarming, he can do it from an entirely different room also. You could be doing your duties with him inside you while he’s doing captain work. + He needs words of affirmation or for you to be as loud as you can be so he knows he’s doing a good job and it boasts his confidence. + He will hit the pillow harder and fast when he’s spent and he knows you’ve had yours. In the morning, the pillow talk is almost nonstop though. He’ll go on about how great he was but blush like a teenager when you agree and suggest a round two. + When he’s the bottom to someone he likes hair pulling.

[blu-joons]

DAD SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Xu Minghao

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Being affectionate around you and your bump is a big thing for Minghao, he’s keen to try and be around your bump as much as possible in whatever capacity to try and bond with your baby and make them familiar with him.

B ⇴ BUMP

In trying to form a bond with your baby, Minghao will often end up spending time in the evening talking to your bump and getting them familiar with the sound of his voice. You can only sit back and admire Minghao as he talks, chuckling to yourself at the voice that he puts on to appeal to your baby, surprised that his voice can go as high as it does.

C ⇴ CRAVINGS

Your cravings were one of the things that fascinated Minghao the most, whilst he knew that it was inevitable that you’d get cravings at some point, he never began to imagine that you’d crave some of the foods that you did. Foods that you hated suddenly became your favourite foods in the world, and Minghao just couldn’t get his head around it.

D ⇴ DUE DATE

It was important to Minghao to make sure that you were as prepared as possible just in case your baby decided to arrive on their due date. Your baby bag was packed well in advance, as a just in case, and your nursery finished with plenty of time to spare. Rather than a due date, you could often be mistaken for thinking that you had a due month with how organised Minghao tried to be, making sure everything was in place just to be sure.

E ⇴ EMOTIONS

Taking care of you was the most important thing for Minghao, regardless of fine you often tried to argue that you were. You enjoyed trying to do things for yourself, but as the months passed, the less you could do. Minghao loved stepping in and being able to help you whenever you found difficulty, but with that, he also understood the frustration that you felt towards suddenly being so incapable of doing so many basic things.

F ⇴ FAMILY

You both tried to keep as in contact as you possibly could with your families, sending messages every single day so that they could keep up to date with how things were going. If they hadn’t heard from either of you for some time, your family group chats would be filled with messages of concern, usually from your mums, who wanted to make sure that the two of you were alright and coping as well as you could by yourselves.

G ⇴ GENDER

From the very start of your pregnancy, the two of you had decided to wait and see until the end. Minghao loved to guess throughout your pregnancy as he read through old wives’ tales, but the uncertainty of knowing whether to believe in what they suggested or not always left him excited to eventually find out too.

H ⇴ HEARTBEAT

The beat of your baby’s heart was Minghao’s very sound to hear in the world. He didn’t care for music, chatter, or anything else, for the nine months that you were pregnant, not a single sound made him happier than when he was able to hear the gentle thuds of your baby growing healthily inside of your bump.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

His actions often let you know that Minghao loved you the most, he was very aware and usually able to pick up on the fact that you needed help before you even asked. Having him around to take care of you was a blessing, and you sure felt loved having someone as kind as Minghao around, never listening to him complain once.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Even though Minghao much prefers to describe himself as protective over you and your bump, a fair few others would argue that he can get jealous from time to time. He’s not the biggest fan of people having their hands around your bump for too long or getting too close to you, especially when that means that he ends up being pushed away. When he feels like someone has outstayed their welcome, Minghao will definitely push his way back to the front.

K ⇴ KICKS

The kicks of your baby are a surprising source of inspiration for Minghao, especially when he finds a bit of a beat in them. It’s something that he always ends up carrying with him into the studio the following morning, saving it to his laptop in the hope that maybe he might be able to come up with a little something from them.

L ⇴ LABOUR

He’s your biggest support during labour, you were sure that you would have never gotten through it if it wasn’t for Minghao by your side. He was calm and he was composed, even if he was terrified on the inside, the perfect voice by your side to comfort you and reassure you. Even though he was a little nervous too, Minghao knew he couldn’t let you see that, and instead kept he smile on his face and his hand holding onto yours.

M ⇴ MORNING SICKNESS

No one was keen on sick, Minghao definitely being one of them, but he was even less keen on leaving you to battle your bouts of morning sickness alone. And so, every single morning he’d make sure to be there for you and refuse to leave your side until he had managed to tuck you back up in bed with a smile too.

N ⇴ NURSERY

Designing your nursery was one of Minghao’s favourite things to do, he loved to use his creative mind to come up with the perfect theme that he was sure your baby would love, and the two of you would enjoy building too.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Minghao was obsessed with your hands, he loved how they would almost always instinctively relax over your bump when they were free, holding your bump with pride and excitement over what was to come for you both.

P ⇴ POST BIRTH

He was very wary about you doing too much too soon after you gave birth, but Minghao tried to trust in you and hope that you would listen to your body. He made it clear to you that he wanted you to put your baby first, but if you wanted to try and do a little more, he wasn’t going to hold you back from doing so.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

If he’s been away from you at work for the day, Minghao will always come home and ask you if he has missed anything first of all. Any milestone, big or small, he wants to hear about it and make sure that you’re alright too.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Documenting your pregnancy was one of Minghao’s biggest passions, with the aim of creating a photo wall in your nursery to look back on too. You’d often walk around the house and find him with his camera in hand, ready to snap you hard at work or candidly going about your day whilst trying to ignore him.

S ⇴ SCANS

Holding your scans was something that Minghao never took for granted, he loved being able to see your baby growing and knowing that they were growing healthily too. He’s very observant of your scan photos and looks into them with a great amount of detail, even if you struggle to make sense of the things that he finds.

T ⇴ TEST

You both had sensed that something wasn’t right with you for some time, and after waking up throwing up one morning, Minghao knew that the two of you had to take a test, just for your own peace of mind.

U ⇴ ULTRASOUND

Being with you at your appointments was immensely important for Minghao, the last thing he ever wanted to do was leave you at one on your own.

V ⇴ VISITS

The boys couldn’t wait to come by and visit, bringing food and essentials over almost as soon as you got home so that you had no excuse but to let them in and thank for taking such great care of your new little family.

W ⇴ WAITING

Minghao verges on patience more than impatience, he enjoys seeing your bump grow and the process rather than just the result at the end of the nine months.

X ⇴ XXXX

He loves to kiss against your bump in between sentences whenever he talks to it for two reasons. One, in the hope that your baby will be able to pick up on it, and secondly to reassure you how great your bump looks too.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his inspiration, Minghao couldn’t believe how incredibly strong you were.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Every night Minghao waits until your asleep before allowing himself to sleep too. He knows he can rest in no time at all, but when your bump is restless, he tries to do whatever he can to make sure that you can rest too.

---

Masterlist

[corseque]

This is very SPOILERY Dragon Age meta that is exploring a possibility that I was thinking about a few months ago, and only found in my drafts now. I think that there are still Reveals that are yet to come about Solas because he’s still suggesting that you’ll have “questions” for him, and there are a few possibilities of what those reveals could be, and this is one of the more likely possibilities.

This depends on the theory that Solas was originally a spirit, so if you don’t agree with that theory this won’t have legs for you, but maybe you’ll find it interesting.

So given established lore, if you draw a Wisdom spirit from the deepest Fade and you bind that spirit and charge it with something opposed to its nature/original purpose—fighting, as extremely clearly defined specifically in Solas’ personal quest  —

 (or “it started with a war,” as Solas describes while grimacing in Trespasser, and also “he did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He wanted to give wisdom, not orders”) 

 — that is exactly how you corrupt a wisdom spirit into (specifically) a pride demon.

So if that’s the case, and if Solas was originally a wisdom spirit

—then we are being told very clearly that Solas was actually “corrupted” into a demon thousands and thousands of years ago.

If he ever started as a Wisdom spirit, a theory that is extremely cemented to me after hard revisiting his content the past few weeks, then Solas, if those other banter comments also apply to him, must have been technically “corrupted” into Pride, ever since the war in which he was bound to fight. With the story we know, and what we know about spirits, it would be more technically accurate to call Solas a demon. And then, when he “broke the binding” of the vallaslin, and was able to become “himself again” perhaps he found some equilibrium, but he also seemed to have been changed. “He calls himself Pride.”

This explains several strange things about his character and his viewpoints, especially if we consider what we also know about the established intended canon of Compassion/Despair and Justice/Vengeance as well.

—why he gets absolutely the most incensed compared to anything else by one of his oldest friends also being drawn forth, bound, and corrupted specifically (and almost strangely specifically) by orders to kill.

—why that is what Patrick Weekes chose to explore for his personal quest, because it is ACTUALLY telling you about Solas himself in a way that is extremely illustrative

—Solas’ personal quest is ACTUALLY personal, it’s the most personal it could be, because it’s about him

— “You summoned that demon! except it was a spirit of wisdom at the time! You made it kill! You twisted it against its purpose!!”

— he never wants that to happen to any spirit ever again (the way it happened to him) 

— In my collection I made when finding all the times Solas yells, for the “solas yelling for 10 minutes” post I did, by far the MOST ANGRY and UPSET he gets is during his personal quest. This is personal for him, this isn’t the way he yells when he is defending someone else. And the way that he immediately wants revenge by burning them alive! It’s about him and what happened to him!

— why when Patrick Weekes was writing Cole’s personal quest, the original idea was for him to choose between being a Spirit and a Demon (not a spirit and human), because that would cover a lot of ground for Solas too

—why Solas is very nearly as incensed by the Grey Warden’s plan to corrupt an army of demons

—why he, when walking through the lair of an enormously fat, powerful fear demon, has an extremely mild and calm aura

—why he is so obsessed with learning and wisdom and finding out knowledge, but also mentions pride about as much

—the hint with Abelas/Sorrow about how the ancient elves would change their names through traumatic events

—why Solas is SO opposed to bindings in any way, shape or form, and is driven single-mindedly to set spirits and elves free every chance he gets

— why Solas had so much insight for Cole about what it means to choose not to be a demon.

— why Solas can appear as a giant demon wolf with multiple eyes, but also a nice spirit wolf with two eyes

— why in Tevinter Nights, the Dread Wolf’s 6 eyes were described specifically as being like a pride demon’s 6 eyes.

— why the “tiny scar” on Solas’ face was mentioned specifically in Tevinter Nights, because “it left a scar when he burned her off his face” and that detail is still important and still going to reveal perhaps, that he was bound into a demon

— why Mythal would apologize to Solas in the stinger after-credits scene. She corrupted him all those years ago!

— Why Solas has that very specific viewpoint on spirits vs demons, and how it’s your expectations that affect the spirit. And how the player’s pov of Solas could change him into a demon, just like Solas describes happens to spirits. If you expect a spirit to be a demon, it will adapt, he says. Or they could become fast friends. The exact same thing happens with Solas.

It’s also a very BioWare thing to do. To find out that this character has been technically a “demon” the entire time. It would make some people think “welp, time to kill.” While those who like him could be like “well, what does that mean exactly? Isn’t he his own person? Hasn’t he become a complex person?” and would make others think “how could we ever trust anything he says or does?” It’s just, I feel, a likely gray area Bioware place they could take it. I feel like there MUST be a reveal for this character still waiting in the wings, and this could be what it is. It could be several things, though, or the details could be different. If he “took a body” it could give it different nuance.

Thinking about it in this way actually clears up a lot of the lingering details that sort of have been hanging for me for several years, especially about why his extremely specific personal quest is the way it is, and I think it’s where they’re going. 

[tanadrin]

The major narrative around Communist collective farming I tend to encounter is “agricultural collectivization triggered famines, because farmers had no incentive to work hard to maintain themselves and their families, and, e.g., decollectivization in China under Deng, by letting individuals own land privately again, was instrumental in improving agricultural outputs.” See for instance this post on Reddit, which is what has me thinking about the subject.

I am very confused by this, because no matter how I approach it, it feels like a deeply unsatisfying explanation.

“Capitalism/private property makes people work hard, collectivism doesn’t” not only seems like a nuance-free just so story, it also seems plainly untrue. If collectivization and a rural command economy harmed agricultural output only in that it disincentivized farmers to work hard, well, I would think the threat of starvation would be a major incentive that would effectively counterbalance that! We can point to plenty of examples where the profitability of individual labor is divorced from the overall profitability of the enterprise that don’t necessarily result in people being super lazy--unless you own your own business, you probably don’t have a major stake in how profitable it is, as long as you get paid anyway. Now, you can be fired, and presumably job security in socialist collective farming enterprises was very good, but even so that doesn’t mean there aren’t social feedback mechanisms or formal mechanisms of reprimand that might incentivize people to do their jobs well (besides pride in their work, which a lot of people seem to have anyway). And there seem to be at least some examples of communist collectivization that were not unmitigated disasters; or which can even be regarded to be successes; these exceptions apparently disprove the original hypothesis.

Moreover, collective farming outside of modern communist theory has a long history. It exists on a spectrum from the individual family farm to communal schemes of land ownership, and the command economy of the Inca might also provide an interesting corollary example. The key difference between these systems of collective agricultural production and the experiments of the USSR or China is that they’re firmly embedded in preexisting social structures and local institutions; they weren’t something somebody tried to create ex nihilo in a couple of decades by top-down order. Cf. also modern voluntary collective farming arrangements like the kibbutzim, or Anabaptist communities in North America.

But “collectivist farming can work if it’s managed democratically and in a grassroots fashion, rather than being imposed dictatorially from an administrative center remote from where the actual production is occurring” is a much less flattering narrative if your central ideological opposition is between authoritarian socialism and authoritarian capitalism. Because the organization of production by private enterprise--which is not democratically organized (though it could be; we can imagine companies where workers elect their managers and even their C-suite executives from among themselves, and are the sole shareholders)--tends to operate in the same fashion. In this case, the bureaucratic center is less remote, because it’s not a central government trying to run an entire country’s political apparatus and micromanage its economic apparatus, but it suggests that the present arrangement is at best a messy compromise, and that there are major gains to be made by reducing the power and influence of a small number of company owners who capture an outsize proportion of the company profits.

“Lack of incentive to work hard reduces output; and precarity is an important incentive to work hard” is, as a naive argument, pretty persuasive! I tended not to question it when I was younger and teachers and older relatives were explaining history to me. But it seems to me that we keep encountering more and more data that, in fact, precarity reduces worker output; that better pay, better working conditions, and better job security improves the time and attention workers have for their jobs, and that moving to shorter hours and improving guarantees around things like healthcare and housing improves output, not worsens it, which seems to stand in contradiction to the original argument. And if as a society we prize values like democracy, freedom, and equality between individuals, it seems weird that we not only tolerate but encourage within the heart of our economy these large-scale structures of production that are unapologetically authoritarian in their organization, that occasionally trend totalitarian when they think they can get away with it (i.e., companies trying to restrict their workers’ private lives), and we treat many of the proposed alternatives to this structure as evidence of a sensibility (”communism”) associated with some of the most notorious dictatorships in world history. Yes, mandating some degree of worker ownership or control of industry would be to sharply curtail private property rights--but so was the abolition of slavery, or the recognition of the right of unions to organize, or the liberation of the serfs, or the end of feudalism. Some formulations of the idea of private property are incompatible with a democratic society! We should not feel beholden to them.

I’m not ideologically committed to the idea of collective farming; it seems like an aesthetic fetish of the Stalinists, not something necessary for prosperity and democracy in developed countries where something like 90% of the population lives in urban areas. In any case, the small, privately-held family farm is one of those social institutions projected backward in time to justify its current stranglehold on the culture: Sarah Taber talks quite cogently about how it’s not really an accurate model for most of the history of preindustrial Europe, just for the process of settlement of the frontier during colonial expansion, and that modern farming, even when nominally in the hands of a “family” (as the owners of a privately held company), is overwhelmingly dominated by something closer to big agribusiness; small farms generally just can’t compete with the economies of scale of large ones, except in certain small niches. This is pretty much collectivization by another name, facilitated by wage labor; the only change I would make if I had a magic wand was to give the workers more influence over how these businesses are run. But agricultural labor, especially in its seasonal and migratory dimensions, is a very complex topic with a lot of unique pathologies, compared to industrial labor.

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc

genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff 

word count: 2.2k

WARNINGS: none (pls tell me if there’s anything i missed!)

a/n: THEIR LOVE STORY CONTINUES AND YOU WILL FIND OUT ON MY NEXT POST! i will say this over and over again, THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! 

epilogue | masterlist

The trial of your father was not something you have ever imagined you would experience nor witness in this lifetime. Despite having the option to not go, you still attended. You weren’t present at the court itself though. Instead you waited at the parking lot with Jeongyeon everyday from the first day up to the last day. The judge’s verdict was obvious and irrevocable. Your father’s ancestry, title and reputation didn’t matter in the eyes of justice. At some point, you couldn’t accept it still but eventually you knew that every wrong must be corrected.

You can say that the wounds from this inevitable downfall burned the most than the wounds inflicted by the enemy.  

Wonwoo was at your apartment when you arrived after the long hours of waiting. He just finished showering, drying his hair with a clean towel when he greeted you. After getting discharged from the hospital, he didn’t fail to visit your place and most times, he would stay the night. That’s why it’s natural and comforting to see him lounge around as if he has been living with you from the get go. 

He already knows how the trial went because it was everywhere. He catches you with his arms once your bag is dropped on the couch and the tears you have been holding back start to fall. It’s not easy to cry every second, every minute and every hour. It’s not easy to accept that your tears are not enough. Not enough to help your father without damaging everything else further. 

Your face was buried on the crook of your lover’s neck as you finally let it all out. He holds you there for a while before he moves the two of you to the couch and keeps you close by letting you take a seat on his lap.

You love your father so much but it is only right and only just to let this Kingdom punish him for the crimes he committed against the people he swore honesty and protection to. 

The exhaustion made you fall asleep and Wonwoo left you be until he had to wake you because he doesn’t want you to skip your meal. After munching on a few bites, he led you to the bathroom for a warm bath, sitting on the cold tiled floor as he took care of you. And in the late evening, he held you close as you retired from the pain of the day.

Wonwoo is a gift and he makes every single day a little better.

You and Wonwoo decided to tie the knot three years later than what was initially arranged. It just felt right at the time to postpone the wedding and do what should be done. The Prince can tell that your heart and mind was not set on marriage yet because of what was currently happening. He was the one who brought it up, suggesting a postponement if you needed the time to think and of course, to wait. He didn’t mind because he’s one hundred percent sure that he is yours and it wasn’t necessary to immediately hold a wedding to seal the deal.

Three years of waiting wasn’t the timeline you intentionally planned on but if one were to count, that’s how long the two of you endured. The plan to have a grand wedding was scrapped and essentially, you two were back to zero. The venue, decorations, menu and even the custom made wedding dress and tuxedo were either auctioned or donated. It was a unanimous decision among you, him, your mother and his parents. It was for the better and taking things slow in your relationship was much needed anyway. 

On the subject of parents, Wonwoo’s, for a period of time, were uneasy with your relationship. It was not because of you and what your father did. Their Majesties were wise enough to not hold anything against you and who you are. What made them uneasy was the people and their talking. If some were still loyal and supported and rooted for you, some were the exact opposite. The tabloids were cruel as well and you didn’t miss them displayed in every newsstand. They still gossiped about your father and even talked about the most irrelevant nonsense. Like come on, who cares about you wearing an orange jacket on a normal Sunday?

But the major stumbling block for them was your recommendation to abolish the Royal Family of your Kingdom. 

You have pondered about it for quite a while and when you have made your decision, you discussed it with the rest of your relatives. As the times have changed, reigning as the sole power of the kingdom didn’t appeal to your family anymore. Some of your father’s siblings and cousins have discussed this already even before your father himself inherited the throne. It just so happened that the then cabinet members strongly opposed the idea. However this time, things will be different for and with you. 

By right, you are the Queen of the Kingdom and it won’t be for much longer.

It was a long and exhausting process. You had to meet with the Cabinet and the policy making body of the Kingdom. For a whole year, you were lobbying and arguing with a lot of individuals who have their own greedy political agendas. However, for the same whole year, the people were supportive of your decision and goal. That pushed you forward and motivated you to not give up. It paid off because in the end, you stepped down as the last Queen to ever reign in your family and ultimately, the Kingdom. 

Countless aspiring public servants stole the spotlight the following year as the campaign season started. Some still encouraged you to hold a position to which you declined immediately. It was a tight competition because every candidate had the potential. The people were smarter and at the same time stronger. They knew who they wanted and needed to lead the Kingdom. No flowery words could ever sway them. 

Power to the people indeed.

You were present to the formulation and enactment of the new laws that will hopefully make the Kingdom and its citizens flourish without the presence of abuse of power and dishonesty. Once you finally signed the last piece of document as the Queen, the Kingdom is not yours anymore and you have never felt so free. 

During the (unintentional) three year wait, you and Wonwoo made the most out of your time as boyfriend and girlfriend, fiancé and fiancée. Well, the engagement ring wasn’t returned to you so you’re quite unsure about the status of the latter. You didn’t lose it though. Wonwoo admitted on one of your dates that it’s with him and that he’ll eventually give it back. 

Wonwoo stayed and continued working at the Royal Hospital meanwhile you decided to leave your current law firm and establish a new one to serve the public. It was a busy year of transition and you felt bad that you dragged Wonwoo into it. Even though he promised that he didn’t mind, you still can’t help but feel terrible that he’s carrying a whole lot of baggage that isn’t his. 

He will just shush you with a kiss on the lips whenever you bring it up and you hate how he makes it work. 

For most of the time, you were awfully busy, you had to bring work back to your apartment. Wonwoo would always complain with his forehead on your shoulder as you worked away on your desk. He would complain that it’s already late and you should be snuggled to him by then and you would just scratch the back of his neck to placate him. To which, he didn’t like. He didn’t stop until you shut down your laptop and let him pull you to bed. 

Wonwoo diligently went back and forth to his hometown and here. He could go back and work at his Kingdom, but not without you. He made it clear that he has every intention of marrying you, so until then, he’d stay by your side. You love every single bit of time you spent with him and you’re beyond grateful. Although there was one instance you had to take care of him because he got sick, that didn’t make him stop. 

The two of you went to a lot of dates despite the busy and overlapping schedules. Most of your dates consisted of long drives far from the city. You frequent farms, beachsides and small hidden cafes with little to none customers. It was great and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

It’s Wonwoo, after all. 

Eventually, you had to visit his parents and introduce yourself in a whole new and different perspective. It was nerve wracking, but their Majesties never changed. In fact, almost everyone at their Kingdom still treated and served you like royalty to which you vehemently refused. Nonetheless, their Majesties still gave their utmost blessing and support to your relationship and if anything, they hope to see you get married soon. 

Wonwoo requested to meet your father at some point. At first, you were confused as to why but when he told you that he wanted to do things right, you couldn’t say no. 

You had to admit, you were embarrassed. However, you swallowed your pride because it’s pointless to keep concealing yourself from Wonwoo. He has accepted and loved you in every way and every form already, all you have to do is bare yourself to him. 

The meeting and conversation you shared with your father was short-lived because of the time limit. In spite of that, it was good to see him and you’re happy Wonwoo took the initiative to visit him. It has already been two years since he got imprisoned and even though you couldn’t visit him every day, your father never held it against you. He was ecstatic to see Wonwoo and the news of your wedding still on, made him burst into a joyful laughter. 

It still pained you to see him on the other side of the glass. It still pained you to not hug or touch his hand at least. But you keep yourself together and remember the purpose as to why your father had to go through this. 

Your father never failed to tell you his regrets and apologies, but most importantly, he never failed to tell you how proud he is and that he loves you very much so. 

You will never become a queen anymore, but Wonwoo vowed that you will be of his heart. He found it cringey himself, but he told you he had to say it in front of everyone present at your wedding. You just laughed it off because you know he’s not saying it out of spite. 

The wedding happened at his mother’s garden with only close family and friends invited. Your father couldn’t make it even if he wanted to, but it was alright because you promised you’ll send lots of pictures afterwards. Some of your relatives made it, Jeongyeon and Seungkwan were also there. Meanwhile, all of Wonwoo’s relatives made it and of course his best friends Soonyoung, Jihoon and Jun (whom you met along the way) were also present. 

It was a short ceremony that didn’t last more than three hours. It started late in the morning and ended early in the afternoon. The two of you, hand in hand and all smiles, did your best to mingle with every guest and thank them for their time and attendance after finally sealing everything with a long kiss and of course, legal documents.

There was no afterparty held after lunch was served, you and Wonwoo wanting the rest of the day to yourselves. A traditional program sounded lovely, but the two of you wanted to be simple. 

The wedding was three years long in the making and in between, it almost didn’t happen. The beginning was vague because it started off as an arranged union. You didn’t know him, he didn’t know you. The middle was everything you wanted, full of love and security. You were so sure and so ready, just waiting for the dress and everything was set. However before the happy ending, shortcomings and bad deeds needed to be resolved and by doing so, one of you almost had to sacrifice the middle that you were ready to have forever. 

But when Wonwoo buried his face in the space between your jaw and neck and his arms found its way around your waist, you realized that everything that had to happen was worth it. In the middle of the garden where the two of you stood alone, swaying from side to side, you realized and accepted that it was all worth it. 

Your fingers ran through the hairs of your husband’s hair and he hummed at the sensation. You smiled at the vibration and continued holding him. If you were to tell one of the sentiments that you and Wonwoo share when you’re together, it’s that you wish for everything to never end. And now that you’re married, it is not far-fetched. 

“I love you, Wonwoo,” you whispered and you’re not crying anymore. 

Wonwoo pulls away slightly to look at your face and when he sees your smile, he knows that he loves you too.

a/n 2: all my love, the drabble/oneshot series masterlist is up! 🧡

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

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Hi! First of all, thank you so much for running this blog, It's become one of three reasons why I haven't yet committed arson (I jest but the Feeling is true). [Hee, hee, hee.] I have a rec for you! It's called "wholesome life usurp immediately" by comfect on ao3 and it's. So good. It's unfinished but the author updates it literally every other day if not faster! It's a lovely fic, I hope you enjoy it. 🌻

Wholesome Life Usurp Immediately

by Comfect (T, 55k, yunmeng sibs, qingli, wangxian, WIP)

Summary: Wen Qing examines Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses and has a cure for her poor cultivation.

Now there are Three Prides of Yunmeng.

Everything kind of fixes itself from there.

~*~

hello mojo!! I would really like to recommend standing still (but we keep going) by lwjromantics!! it's really good!!

standing still (but we keep going)

by lwjromantics (justfantaestic) (T, 5k, wangxian)

Summary: Lan Wangji supposed that if having to take care of little A-Yuan and Mo Xuanyu and having to look at the reminders of Wei Ying in their habits and mannerisms was punishment for his actions, he would willingly take it and flay his own back open.

— There are children in the Burial Mounds.

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hii mojo! I just read this cute fic and I loved it so I wanted to rec it :) 

Word Up, Talk the Talk

by Larryissocute (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  It wouldn’t have been a problem (it really wouldn’t) if they weren’t best friends. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what good deeds he did in his past life to be blessed with Lan Wangji as a friend nor does he know what evil things he did to be cursed with being only a friend to Lan Wangji.

Or the one where Wei Wuxian kisses Lan Wangji and then runs away.

~*~

Hey! Love your account — and proud of you for taking the hiatus you needed.  [Lol - it was really nice!]  Idk if you take fic recommendations, but I'd love to rec Roots by ardenrabbit. Fantastic characterization, I really love it!

Roots

by ardenrabbit (E, 46k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  After Wei Wuxian's duel with Jiang Cheng, he finds that stab wounds aren't so trivial when he doesn't have a core to heal them. He wakes to find Lan Zhan in the Burial Mounds with him, already beloved by the Wens and making himself at home. When Lan Zhan tells him that he wants to stay and offers more help than Wei Wuxian knows how to accept, he fears that it's only too good to be true.

Lan Wangji knows that Wei Ying is doing the right thing, and he couldn't live with himself if he let him do it alone. For everything Wei Ying has sacrificed, Lan Wangji is determined to give something back to him.

Hanguang-Jun has turned his back on the clans to join the Yiling Wens and their demonic cultivator leader, and every clan has a different opinion on the matter.

~*~

Hello! I wanted to rec a fic on ao3 called "Restoration" by jelenedra. It's complete, an alternate universe of the sunshot campaign told nonlinearly. It has strong fairy tale and fae elements, with a touch of mystery. Bit of a fix it. Some delightful one liners, and the final ending imagery is just LOVELY. The fic deserves much more love. There's also some YilingWei, wwx not raised by Jiang, and sentient Burial Mounds elements. Enchanting read that keeps you enthralled and curious and intrigued.

Restoration

by jelenedra (M, 85k, wangxian)

Summary:  They say he was thrown into Luanzang Gang by the man who killed his parents; they say that he is an immortal cultivator who had been in a deep trance until the Wen sect disturbed his rest and incurred his wrath; they say that he is the fierce corpse of a cultivator who had somehow regained his mind and his spiritual powers.

When Lan Wangji sees him for the first time, he understands why people talk.

Meng Yao wants safety. Xue Yang wants vengeance. The Sunshot Campaign wants victory. Yiling Laozu provides, for a price.

~*~

I usually read all your recommendations. Thanks for gathering all good recs of wangxian. I am in love with every single story your recommend especially the favorites. [I’m so glad!]  I just wanted to suggest a fic i came across while searching for phoenix!wwx. Its a new story I think as author has published it today. The first chapter was very interesting that i thought ill recommend it you and know your opinion. The legendary phoenix and his dragon -Devipriya and Hidden Path to Love by ShadowTenshiV

Hidden Path to Love

by ShadowTenshiV (G, 78k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wei Ying is a servant working at the Gusu Lan castle. One day he enters through a secret passage way connected to the library where he meets a Lan for the first time. He may have left quite an impression, gaining the other´s attention and slowly becoming friends. They would like to become something more, but a servant can´t be with a prince, but maybe his secret can change that.

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hello mojo! i was wondering if I could make a fic rec? it’s called “and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow” by izanyas. it used to be on ao3 but the author has since moved it to eir own website and has started posting updates there. i was wondering if this could also act as a signal boost bc some old readers on ao3 might not have known that it is now on another website.   Author's been through a tough time so I think it deserves a lot more love.

For new readers, please mind the warnings in the prologue and the beginning of each chapter! it’s omegaverse and a very heavy read as it deals with (possible spoiler) off-screen rape that results in an unwanted pregnancy, as well as secondary gender oppression which runs deep, but for people who can bear it the writing, worldbuilding, and emotions are truly spectacular.

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow

by izanyas (E, 270k, wangxian, WIP, link is to WordPress rather than AO3)

Summary: Cangse Sanren was the first of her kind to become a cultivator. Talented, passionate, free-spirited, she bested everything that ever came her way until the very end.

Jiang Fengmian refuses to see her son deprived of that same freedom.

~*~

Hello Mojo! I dunno if this's been recced before, but here's another ficrec for you? It's complete, on ao3, "The Third Young Master of Qishan Wen" by KouriArashi. It's 'if wwx was raised by dafan wen, but gets recognized as 3rd heir due to his skill' scenario. Some really nice banter and characterization. Wwx and lz get together before the sunshot campaign. Story follows the live action but diverges into au, and does some cool callbacks to original canon. Love Meng Yao in this!  [Oh, I know KouriArashi from my last fandom, I love her works!]

❤️The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen

by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, my post)

Summary:  The fic where Wei Wuxian is adopted by the Dafan Mountain Wens instead of the Yunmeng Jiang.

~*~

Hi Mojo! I can count the number of times I’ve spoken on Tumblr on one hand (I’m shy heh) but I found this fic that I think you and others would really like? I’m a sucker for emotional hurt/comfort and this was just too sweet for me not to share (did I go through 20 pages of bookmarks just to make sure you don’t already have it? Maybe …) [Aww, you can do a sidebar search in the bookmarks for the author’s name.  But I hope you found other good fics by carding through the whole catalog!]  It’s “Close Your Soft Eyes” by timetoboldlygo! I also wanna say thank you for all the hard work you put into this blog! It’s a treasure beyond compare. :D [Thank you so much!]

Close Your Soft Eyes

by timetoboldlygo (G, 12k, wangxian)

Summary:  When Lan Wangji woke, the first thing he noticed was the slip of paper, folded and tucked between his index and middle fingers, not Wei Wuxian’s absence. His fingers trembled as he unfurled the paper. A donkey with a little smile beamed down at him.

-

On the nights that Wei Wuxian was gone, Lan Wangji woke to gifts on his pillow.

~*~

Hey Mojo! I love your blog it is beyond awesome! [Thank you!]  I was wondering if you would consider reading JaenysBloodcourt series "A Bond to Takes us home"? The summary is weird but I like the fics and would love to hear your opinion on LWJ POV (it's part 2). Part one is Mingxian but part two (Wangxian) reads as a standalone for the most part. Anyways, thank you for all your hard work! <3 [I’ll put it on my list!]

A Bond to Take Us Home

by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 10k, mingxian - nmj/wwx, wangxian, series in progress)

Summary:  Wei Wuxian has two soulmarks. He has two soulmates that seem to be the opposite of him. During his first life he meets both of them, loves only one and longs for the other. In his second life, the one he loved first is dead, and the one he pined after is pining after him.

These are the many tales of his soulmates and the raucous they made across the cultivation world.

Some are dark, some are light. Beware.

~*~

I forgot to send this in for Mother's Day a few weeks ago, but have you read dragongirlG's "into the light of a dark black night"? It's a short canon divergence where Mama Lan escapes the Cloud Recesses after spending one last, heartbreaking night with her sons. It's so beautiful and bittersweet! [Oh, ouch.  I just read this author’s time travelling juniors au, but hadn’t seen this one.]

into the light of a dark black night

by dragongirlG (T, 3k, Madam Lan & sons)

Summary:  The night that Wu Yuhua, formerly known as Madam Lan, plans to escape from the Cloud Recesses, she runs into an unexpected complication.

That complication comes in the form of her younger son A-Zhan running up to her door and kneeling in front of it, hushed whimpers escaping from his throat.

Wu Yuhua knows it's not the full moon, knows that it's not the one day a month she's allowed to see her children—but like hell is she going to leave her six-year-old son out there trying to stifle sobs in the snow.

She opens the door. "A-Zhan," she says, bending down and reaching out a hand. "Come in, my sweet boy."

On a snowy night in the dead of winter, Wu Yuhua, formerly known as Madam Lan, unexpectedly spends one last night with her sons before escaping from the Cloud Recesses.

~*~

Hello queen I’d like to recommend for ur follower rec posts Avatar: The Untamed Waterbender by KouriArashi. Banger of an ATLA au, def the best one I’ve seen. It’s a WIP but the author updates pretty regularly and it’s all around an A+ fic [Oh, yes, I’ve been waiting for this one to finish before I jump in.]

Avatar: The Untamed Waterbender

by KouriArashi (T, 123k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  You know the drill. Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

100 years later, Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli find Wei Wuxian sealed in an iceberg.

Featuring: avatar WWX, waterbending JC, firebending Wens, airbending Lans, earthbending Nies and Jins, Jiang Yanli in possession of the brain cell, et cetera.

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)