#stardew valley headcanon

[azuneekun]

STARDEW VALLEY BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE (personal) HEADCANONS:

Maru

Is a registered nurse, but is working to become a medicinal and environmental researcher like her father (Professor Demetrius).

Robotics, Electrical engineering and Astronomy are just a few of her hobbies and passions. 

Afraid of getting real piercings, so Sebastian gifted her clip-ons.

Doesn’t trust newer computers, unlike her brother.

She is nearsighted and has astigmatism.

She goes stargazing in hopes of finding signs of extraterrestrial life. Or just to see if she can spot a certain flying robot.

Used to follow her brother Sebastian around a lot when she was very young, but his troublemaking behavior made Maru distance herself. She still cares about him.

Loves helping the farmer with building farming machines.

Loves spending time with her best friend Penny and talking about books and trivia together.

Other than tinkering with gadgets, she also enjoys doing puzzles.

Penny

Could not afford finishing her teaching course in college due to financial troubles.

Saving up money in her tutoring job to become an elementary school teacher.

Her father abandoned them due to feeling ‘trapped’. It happened around fall—so she feels melancholic during that season.

Likes cooking but is a novice at it.

She and Emily do arts and crafts together in the library and or the (fixed) community center. (For the kids and for event decorations.)

She has a slight southern accent.

Elliott and her like to swap book recommendations.

Loves listening to Maru infodumping about her trivia and interests. She teaches them to Jas and Vincent in return.

She likes to do crossword puzzles under the tree near the graveyard.

She prefers to wear skirts.

She influenced Jas and Vincent to have an interest in archeology, thanks to her own fondness of it.

Abigail

Pets every animal they see. Sanitizes herself right away before going home due to Pierre's allergies.

Sometimes helps her dad with the general store. Pierre gives her some money in return.

Abigail loves to draw and sometimes likes to join art competitions.

Enjoys the occult and fortune telling. Has some magical ability, but is not fully aware of it.

She plays the flute and the drums.

Loves adventuring, but feels guilty killing monsters (even out of self defense). Will make graves or offer prayers to put their souls to rest.

Very interested in monsters and loves reading about them.

She has a sweet tooth; minerals taste like candy to her. She also loves spicy food from time to time.

Gets sunburnt easily.

Leah

Used to be hired as an illustrator for books in Zuzu City.

Is under apprenticeship with Robin.

Loves using different painting mediums. Current favorites are charcoal, oil painting, and watercolors.

Experienced forager—she adores making vegetable/fruit salads and stir-frys out of them.

Likes to drink the wine sold by the farmer and the saloon.

She is left handed.

She makes her own special homemade vinaigrette.

Has her own mini-garden.

Loves to help the farmer with crafting artisan equipment that involves wood (eg: kegs, preserve jars, casks, and etc.)

Emily

The unofficial hair stylist (and barberess) of the townies. (HC adopted from @/moon-boat)

Has some real spiritual power and foresight.

Her prophetic visions mostly appear in her dreams.

Knows supernatural beings and Junimo exist (and has seen them) but opts not to tell anyone directly for the creatures’ safety. (Likes to give subtle hints, though.)

Can genuinely communicate with birds and flowers.

Is very good at arts and crafts and helps decorate the festivals often.

Vegetarian. Likes to cook vegetarian dishes.

She's a very talented dancer, and she likes to do her choreography in secret.

Sandy sells the clothes she makes. Haley advertises them on her blog. 

Loves all animals—especially birds.

She likes clowns and circuses.

Is very meticulous about cleanliness and housework.

Is incredibly scared of watching horror movies.

Haley

A talented cook that loves baking sweets.

Is a social media influencer. She has a popular Instagram account called StarfruitHaley and a Youtube channel named Cooking Junimo.

Likes drinking peppermint coffee and eating cupcakes.

She is a picky eater.

Learned to dance from Emily.

She and Emily are taiwanese-americans.

Her hair is dyed blonde and she wears contacts.

Freelance model, but likes doing photography more.

Does photography gigs sometimes.

Secretly admires her sister's dancing, but doesn't want to lose to her during the Flower dance.

Likes to go surfing during the summer time. (HC adopted from @/sofiaruelle )

Closeted lesbian, but came out proudly once she started to live in the valley.

Bunnies and Ponies are her favorite animals.

Shane

Prefers keeping people at a distance (so it doesn’t hurt him if he loses them), but is weak to persistent people. (eg: Emily, Sam, the farmer)

Is very good friends with Emily. Likes to joke around and share chicken stories with her. 

Lost a sports scholarship in university due to injury, so he dropped out. (He took a course in multimedia arts, hence his 7 ♡ event.)

Likes to collect funny printed boxers.

Wears old clothes until they tear apart.

Doesn't bother combing his hair much.

Takes care of the animals when Marnie's not around, and teaches Jas about the ranch while he’s at it. 

Most of his savings are for Jas and Marnie.

Has calloused hands from hard work.

He likes to use nicknames. Both derogatively and affectionately. (e.g. Sweetheart, Chickadee, Doll, Buddy , Asshole, Jockstrap (Alex specific), Dickhead, Kid)

Shane has excellent upper body strength due to lifting heavy boxes at work, and sacks of feed at the ranch.

Jas’ mother is his older sibling. Marnie is his father's younger sister.

In the future, his beautiful blue chickens will become recognized as a standardized breed by the farming community. 

Harvey

Used to be a surgical oncologist. Left this position due to emotional distress.

Came from a prestigious family of doctors, lawyers, and professors.

Has a twin brother. ( HC adopted from @/coinly )

Loves science, history, and the documentary channels.

He used to be in a long term relationship but it ended due to LDR.

He can cook but doesn't feel happy eating by himself—so he just heats up frozen meals.

He smells like nice soap and hand sanitizer.

Has a wonderful singing deep voice. (HC adopted from @/hannahstumble )

Likes to drink wine every once in a while to relax.

Jazz music is calming to him. He owns many cassettes of the classics.

Elliott

Was a music professor in a private university.

Is from a wealthy family, but left to become more independent.

Humble and isn't very materialistic, but is very strict with his well-kept appearance. 

Keeps his pencils so sharp it might as well be a weapon.

Isn't very good at taking care of plants, but is learning how to. 

A little clumsy with housework and repairs, but tries to keep tidy.

His favorite pastime with his father was fishing. 

Likes to drink, but can’t hold his liquor at all.

 In his youth, he has gotten some recognition for his published short stories and poetry, but  has yet to make a full length novel.

Commissions and collaborates with Leah on art and ideas for his books.

His piano actually came from Robin's. Sebastian used to own it but preferred playing the synth now.

Sebastian

Is very skillfull at using a knife (for fish and seafood).

He is a lazy genius. 

His Korean name is Seojun. His biological father tried bringing him to his home country when he and Robin divorced, but Sebastian opted to stay with his mother.

He loves cats as much as frogs and bats.

Sleeps very messily. Ends up in weird positions on the bed, with pillows dropped onto the floor.

Loves exploring the mines and wants to join the Adventurer's guild in the future.

Does his (and his friends') piercings.

Has a long deep scar on his left leg due to a rock crab.

The town go-to mechanic, alongside Maru.

He’s jealous of Maru, but doesn’t hate her. Doesn’t know how to express himself, so they end up fighting. He thinks he’s not the best older brother to have.

Insomniac. Needs medication to help sleep, sometimes.

Likes to tease and scare people.

Also gets sunburnt easily—but in return doesn’t get affected by the cold weather as much.

Best billiards player in Stardew.

Alex

Has dyslexia, but is not aware of it (until the farmer points it out).

Likes to help cook with his grandma.

Makes and sells his own icecream.

Is the local town mailman.  (HC adopted from @/ryllen )

Childhood friends with Haley, but pretended to be her boyfriend in HS to shield her from men (as per her wishes).

Not only was he a varsity quarterback for gridball, but he was also an ace baseball player.

One of his favorite pastimes is watching the gridball game every Sunday.

Thinking about saving money to go to a vocational college or getting a scholarship. 

Interested in becoming a physical fitness coach if his dreams to go to the league fall through.

Afraid of being vulnerable to people, because he wants to be seen as strong and reliable.

Sam

A popular boy in school. 

Was influenced into loving music due to Sebastian. 

Likes flowers but has severe hay fever.

Has a scar on his eyebrow from a skateboard accident.

Loves his mom's largemouth bass fish casserole.

Thinks being a submarine captain might be cool as a job (thanks to the night market), but would prefer being in the music industry.

Likes to DJ and compose his own music.

A little forgetful, so his wrists and hands are full of scribbles and rubber bands as reminders.

Likes cactuses and the flowers that bloom from it (and especially loves cactus fruit).

Him and Alex both like to collect branded sports shoes, and talk about it together sometimes.

[luvvyouforever]

harvey (sdv) - nsfw alphabet <3

-> there is not nearly enough harvey content on tumblr for my liking. SO two harvey posts in a row, yes i do believe. and i do love reading an sfw/nsfw alphabet so of course i have to provide for our favorite nerdy doctor <3 i also want you to know that as i write this, i imagine harvey as a taller, bigger man. so like he's got some chub on him and he's got broad shoulders. idk idk it's my headcanon.

-> this is nsfw and dirty! like i really tried to get over my reservations about using descriptive language. with that being said, NSFW 18+ MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

harvey is the sweetest, most gentlemanly partner after sex. he makes sure that you get cleaned up, that you protect yourself against any UTIs or other gross things, makes you some coffee or tea, and cuddles with you endlessly. harvey would need some extra reassurance that what he did was good, that you enjoyed it, or that you didn't get hurt. he'd get anxious and worry about it for the rest of the night if you didn't offer him some kind of honest discussion.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he appreciates his arms and hands! he knows that he has some strength and likes when you can grip on to his biceps in the heat of the moment. knows how to work his hands i mean, come on. he can do minor surgical interventions. if you hold onto his arm while you're walking in town, he'd get all blushy.

as for you, he truthfully loves every part of you. if you ever asked him "what part of me is your favorite?" he would actually stress over it and couldn't answer. however, if you really really wanted him to say, he would choose your eyes. there's nothing better to him than looking at them when he's giving you pleasure. sends him reeling, actually.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i don't think harvey is particularly keen on making a mess, especially of the bed or another surface. he'd try to keep his cum inside of you, or at least contained to an easily wipeable surface (like your face). on the down low though, i truthfully think he'd surprisingly enjoy cumming on your face, mainly around your lips. messy oral? he's done for.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

meeting dr. harvey in his office for a confidential check-up? hmm. definitely not when you first start dating, but give him some time and you may just find yourself on his desk (never in the actual, sterile field) receiving a little extra attention wink wink nudge nudge

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he has plenty of knowledge about anatomy, trust me. he never struggles with finding your best spots. however, he struggles with foreplay and building intimacy and dirty talk, etc. he's a nerd! what can i say? tell him what you like, guide him, and help him and he'd be confident in no time. he's a quick learner.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

so, i think there are two sides to harvey. he is either incredible slow, passionate, and earnest. this lends itself to something simple like missionary where he can stare into your eyes, kiss you, tell you sweet things, etc. his other side comes out later, when he's gotten more comfortable with you and with himself, and he can get a little rougher or faster or intense. he likes to be able to grip on to you so something like doggy, maybe riding?

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

harvey can't help but be clumsy sometimes. he learns to be able to giggle at himself when his hand misses the bed and he falls. he also can't help but giggle when hair gets caught in your mouth or some other silly thing. however, he likes to keep things intimate and prefers to have a serious moment with you in bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i don't think he fully shaves, he just doesn't strike me as that kinda guy with his mustache. but i do think he trims it, kinda manscapes it a little bit to tame everything down but he likes to have a little hair down there.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

loves making sex romantic. he doesn't do it often, but on special days like your anniversary or birthday, he will harvest some flowers from the farm and throw the petals around the room, open up some freshly made wine, and showers you in affection. as for every day sex, he still likes to make it special for you and never backs down on his pure, teeth-hurting sweetness.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i think that he is the kinda guy that starts feeling guilty for masturbating after he gets into a relationship. prefers to just wait for you. however, before your relationship, he would masturbate every once in a while when he was stressed or horny. if he ever watched porn, which i feel like would be very rare for him, he wouldn't watch highly produced, fake porn. it would have to be something amateur. (harvey has a secret twitter account)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

okay so...i think harvey starts out vanilla. when you're getting to know him and for the first few times you have sex, he keeps it simple. mainly out of nervousness. however, i think he's kinkier than we might assume. i think he really enjoys being praised and praising you. i think, too, he likes feeling big and strong in that he gives in to his possessiveness sometimes, and he likes being able to manhandle you a little bit. also, i propose this everyone....bondage? nothing super strong! just with his tie or belt. and your hands. to the headboard.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom, mostly! he has a reputation that he needs to uphold so anything in public is nerve wracking. but with some convincing, like i said, his fancy office is not totally off limits.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you do anything! especially if you're really determined to get something done and you're working hard at it! like, you've been working so damn hard on renovating and cleaning the farm and you come back proud of everything you've done, he will look at you with a glow in his face. kisses on the neck, too!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i don't think he'd ever hurt you. it's just not something he could ever see himself doing. he doesn't mind seeing like fingertip marks on you the day after but anything like choking, spanking, etc is out of the question. he also would find rudeness a turn off in a person. like he would hate to see anyone be rude to another person and it would take away from someone's attractiveness immediately! (that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy some town gossip here and there)

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

my first headcanon here is that harvey LOVES giving oral and on the days when he hasn't cleanly shaved his face, his stubble leaves marks around your thighs. okay, now that that's out of the way: harvey is such a pleaser and he'd do anything to make sure you feel good. he likes when you guide his head, mouth, or hands and he likes being told if you want more, or faster, or less. as for him receiving, i think he enjoys it but he gets so in his head that he can't really cum from it. it takes some extra praise and reassurance to get him to fully open up.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

like every other answer here, it depends on his mood! he can get really fast when he's feeling extra needy or kinky. however, when he's trying to be romantic, he will take his sweet time and go nice and slow with his thrusts, movements, touches. however, i think he could also use slowness to his advantage and tease you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

prefers to take his time but sometimes he likes to catch you before you wake up and start working on the farm and before he has to go to work. he enjoys these more than he will admit to himself though and he thinks it can be fun!!

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down to try new things, don't get me wrong! if you wanna try something new, he'll let you to an extent but he won't do anything that comes with a dangerous outcome or health risk! like, sure, he might be down to try some new rope positions but he won't dare put chocolate sauce around his genitals. do you know the bacteria risks that can come with that??

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i don't think he has very high stamina. it's not that he gets really sleepy after, but he can't go for multiple rounds. maybe two if it's been a long time since he's seen you. he can last a while though, i think. he won't cum the minute he engages in anything and with his anxiety, it may even take him a while to get to that point.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn't mind bringing out a vibrator because he knows how good it could make you feel. he doesn't like them on himself though! he doesn't mind taking a trip out to zuzu and hitting up a sex shop to buy some new bondage-y toys. they will be thoroughly cleaned though. why would nipple clamps be any less clean than forceps?

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn't do it with malice in his heart, trust me. he just likes seeing you on edge, waiting for him of all people, begging for more pleasure. he experiments to see how long you can go for, or how far he can drag out oral. he definitely enjoys it more than he'd let on. oh, and, i leave you with this, imagine harvey offering fake pity and cooing at you:

"my poor flower...you must want it so bad!"

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

keeps quiet, mostly. some interjections of grunts and groans, especially when he cums. he uses his voice more for sweet talk! he loves hearing your noises, though, and it gives him more encouragement than anything.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

the first time you called him dr. harvey in a joking, yet somewhat flirtatious manner, he blushed and got incredibly flustered. then, you did it again, and it had the same effect. and then...oh lord. your hands were roaming his body and you, just testing the waters, called him dr. harvey and he could have finished right there.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's big guys, i'm sorry. nerdy white men are always packing. i headcanon him as a big boy and it's only fitting that he's proportionate. more thickness than length. he was a little ashamed the first time you had sex but he realized just how good it feels and it makes him proud. big dick energy if you will.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think he has a fluctuating sex drive. during flu and cold season, he is so stressed and likes to come back and make dinner, cuddle, and go to bed. however, during the summer, when everyone is healthy and only needs some aloe vera gel for sunburns, he could go day after day with you. it just all depends on his mood and the time of the year.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he enjoys cuddling and talking after sex but give him an hour and the man is CONKED. he's the older bachelor so of course he's a sleepy man. cuddle up to his chest, open up the window to let fresh air or the sounds of rain float in, and he'll be like a baby.

[stardewremixed]

We need better marriage candidate advantages! Gifts, dinners, and occasional chores on the farm are nice, but....

Shane - starts taking care of the chickens and you get more eggs (double or triple from one chicken) or an extra chicken every year. Plus discounts at Marnie's. Oh and give me a room for Jas on the farm!!! Also he starts working at Pierre's after Joja closes and leads weekly AA meetings at the community center. Marnie also visits occasionally and brings gifts. Wanders into the forest sometimes and brings back forage.

Abigail - discounts at Pierre's, shopping on Wednesdays, and she goes adventuring with you in the mines (for some rare drops). Discounts at the Adventurer's Guild after she becomes a full-fledged member. Her parents visit on the farm and you get occasional gifts from them. Breaks up rocks on the farm (actual rocks in your inventory and occsisonal geodes).

Harvey - discounts at the clinic for the amount of times you're injured in the mines and he is the one who finds you and carries you home so you don't lose any items. Weekly energy tonics. And sometimes he plays jazz (Unlocks new music). Discounts at the bookseller (1.6) because he befriends the hot air balloon operator. And the man gets over his fear of heights and gets his chopper license. Can take you to Ginger Island for free.

Maru - weekly energy tonics since she works in the Clinic (yes, she should keep her job) and battery packs, plus her dad visits the farm cave and you get better drops in there. Robin visits too and says things like "oh, I saw such and such needed upgraded or repaired, so I did it. " Seb visits and might bring a gift. She also creates a working robot that can automate some farm chores at random. Joins the aerobics class at Caroline's.

Sebastian - discounts from Robin for upgrades and her shop, he occasionally goes adventuring with you in the quarry (for rare drops), and brings in a side income from his incredibly popular indie computer game. Brings gifts from his trips to Zuzu City. Hosts weekly jam sessions with Abigail and Sam on the farm. Organizes DnD game night at the community center - friendly to beginner's.

Leah - chops wood for you (actual wood in your inventory), crafts beautiful decor for your farm, and brings you delicious forage from the forest. Brings in a small income from her artistry. And she would also adventure with you in the secret woods (rare drops and better protection). Might buy you a drink or salad at the Saloon on occasion. Would absolutely dance with you at the Stardrop on Friday nights if you asked her.

Alex - Builds a ramp for George and then his grandparents occasionally visit the farm, bearing gifts. He chops wood and breaks up stone on the farm (actual wood/stone in your inventory). And let's start a food truck. Sells at his stand year round (and more than just ice cream), bringing in a small monthly income. He would be an excellent ally also on difficult adventuring levels (preventing you from getting surrounded). If you do go down, he's carrying you home so that you don't lose any items. Runs bingo at community center for the older townies (including his grandparents). Finally fixed the damn leak in Evelyn's roof.

Elliott - let's upgrade his beach cabin for a vacation getaway! He brings you home from the library with all sorts of useful knowledge. The man brings in an income selling his stories and poetry. Establishes a regular reading event at the library. Teaches writing classes at the Community Center. Discounts at Willy's (Willy is Elliott's great uncle in my headcanon). He would occasionally adventure with you on Ginger Island. Oh and I think you'd adopt Leo together and build a little treehouse on the farm.

Sam - income from Joja (or the movie theater), builds a skate park for the kids on town (a new post marriage heart event), and travels occasionally with his band (bringing in a sporadic income). Oh and he writes new songs for the jukebox at the Saloon. (Unlocks new music). Probably plays for the locals on Friday nights. Vincent would come stay with you on the farm, on occasion, so he would have a room. Plus Jodi would bring you dinners on Sundays. Kent would send you regular gifts in the mail. Also unlimited free games at the arcade (Sam's always buying).

Haley - has a photography show (like Leah does with her art) and decorates your farmhouse with occasional prints (new decor), plus an income from selling her services as a photographer. I like to think she works with Seb on the town website and adds her images. Brings gifts from her trips to Zuzu City. Scythes grass on occasion on the farm (actual grass and sometimes mixed seeds in your inventory). Would plant flowers in a farm garden with Evelyn. Emily would visit and bring gifts.

Emily - discounts at the Saloon, a small weekly stipend, and sells her clothes online, plus you get to join the weekly aerobics class at Caroline's with her (and if you have high hearts with Clint, you get discounts at the blacksmith too). Sometimes misc clothing, shoe, hat, and ring upgrades show up in your inventory. Haley would visit and bring gifts.

Penny - special events at the community center (she helps establish family-friendly activities and the community center is more active). She goes back to school for her official license and brings in a small income from teaching. Discounts on bus rides thanks to her mom, or cheaper bus repair if you aren't done yet. Better rewards at the library/museum when you donate items because of her friendship with Gunther. And she creates a playroom at the farm for Jas and Vincent (and your kids, of course). Pam might visit on occasion and bring gifts (and like Shane, Pam would attend the weekly AA meetings).

Okay... confession time... who are you marrying based on the above advantages?

[crispyanonartnsfw]

you usually draw sambastian and i love that, but i would love to see sebalex or samalex in your style :)

Thank you Miles 🫡 

[crispyanonart]

Back on my SDV propaganda: I need y'all to hear me out about Gunther.

(dissertation below // Ginger Island spoilers?)

I feel like he's pretty much forgotten most of the time but he has so much potential and it's the one character that I would love to see becoming romanceable. He manages the library and the museum! He's into literature and archeology! Hello?? Long haired, bearded, bespectacled, curated vintage wearing, academic, classy af man??

Some personality headcanons: Gunther is hardworking and responsible (took on the museum and takes care of ancient books and artifacts all by himself, which is no joke), obviously not very extroverted or social, incredibly private and aloof but always kind, soft spoken, gentlemanly to the point of being a little old fashioned. He's very nostalgic and also a bit of a hopeless dreamer - something that he only lets slip once you get to know him better.

Also his story could be really interesting because what if he's related to Professor Snail?? His son, for example (this is out of pocket but they kinda look alike...from afar lol). Maybe Snail raised him surrounded by books and archeological collections, thought him all he knew, maybe little Gunther really looked up to him. But the professor made knowledge his biggest life mission, and kept traveling to different sites, staying gone for more and more time, until the day he didn't make it back home at all. That could be why older Gunther decided to come to Pelican Town and take on the hopeless empty museum, following his father's footsteps. Plus we get a wholesome reunion once Snail is freed from the Ginger Island cave and they can meet again 🥹

(Bonus regarding in-game ships - HE NEEDS TO DATE PENNY, PENNY NEEDS TO DATE HIM. please. She deserves someone reliable and gentle that buys her books, come on. He would secretively gaze at her while she teaches the kids and feel very guilty about it, ignoring the fact that she got a massive crush on him since the day he arrived in Pelican Town 🥺 AUGHH they would be such a cute couple)

[jamminjunimo]

Romantic Elliott Headcanons

Until the farmer, Elliott had never truly been in love. He's had a few crushes and infatuations, has dated, and has had short-lived relationships, but never really fell for anyone—but with the farmer he fell for them hard.

He knew the farmer was the one after a simple, seemingly insignificant moment. The farmer stopped by for a visit but a deadline had been moved up. Elliott needed to work but didn't want them to leave and asked them to stay while he worked. It became chilly and the farmer, reading a book on the bed, grabbed Elliott's jacket. A little while later, Elliott glanced over to see them fast asleep, looking adorable wrapped in his too-big-for-them jacket, with the open book on their lap.

He loves to do romantic things for the farmer. The first time he made any big gesture, he set up a classic candlelight dinner, cooking a full meal with all the works. When the farmer arrived, they broke down in tears--no one had ever done anything like that for them before and Elliott promised to himself he would never let them feel unappreciated or not special ever again.

Elliott received notice of his book tour very soon after he and the farmer married. He almost declined, not wanting to leave them so soon for so long. 🐚 He made sure to wear the pendant his farmer gifted him every day. Whenever he was asked about it he couldn't help but ramble on about you, which many in the audience thought was just so sweet (and may have helped sell some more copies of his book!). 💍 On his return, he surprised his love with a beautiful, delicate wedding ring shaped like a vine of leaves and flowers with an opal gem and showed the matching band for himself with the same design engraved (after all, the mermaid's pendant was a Valley tradition and he also wanted something that was recognized everywhere)

He loves to take care of his farmer in little ways--like making sure they have food to take with them for the day, drawing a warm bath when they return, or giving them spontaneous shoulder and back rubs to help ease the aches of the day.

Whenever his farmer goes to bed after him, he always wakes just enough to grab their hand before falling back into a deep sleep (though there have been times when he grabbed a furry tail or paw instead, startling the cat that got their first!).

[writer-by-the-sea]

Um, hi! I'm new and I really like your works!

I want to make a request for Haley and Penny (separate) if that's okay with you!

Scenario: how would they react when they find out that their s/o, the farmer, used to be a member of the Mafia? A hitman to be exact, but they've changed and left that life behind.

I don’t think I’ve ever done a full on headcanon before, but I figured why not! 

Instead of doing mini fics for only two characters, I am going to attempt to write these thoughts into a slightly coherent but readable mess. WARNING: These do not all end happily. Some are very heavy angst and they break up with you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“There’s… something I need to tell you,” the farmer began, rubbing the back of their neck while they looked away from the person in front of them. Someone that they’ve come to love, to trust enough to finally open up to, and someone who might understand.”Before moving to Stardew… I was... Part of a very bad crowd,” they pause and take a deep breath. “Not just a little group of delinquents that spray paint the side of buildings.

“Something.. Far worse. I know that you might view me differently because of this but– I want you to know who I truly am. I never want to lie to you, and while I wanted to keep this secret buried deep inside; I care about you too much to allow you to continue dating me without knowing… 

“I was a hired killer, an assassin, a hitman.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Alex

“Hey, man, you don’t have to lie to me to look cool,” Alex laughed and gave you a thumbs up. “You’re already really cool in my book.” 

You grimace before saying, “Alex, I’m not lying.” 

“Oh,” he breathes out. A minute passes, the gears turning in his head as he thinks it over. “Ohhh.” 

“Yeah, oh,” you reply. “I understand if you need some space–” 

Alex leaned back into his bed, letting himself land softly on his back. “Gramps has killed a few guys, so I’m not really worried about it.” 

You look down at him and raise a single brow, “Wasn’t that in war though?” 

“It was, but it’s the same thing, isn’t it?” 

“Not.. really.” 

Alex shrugs and sighs, “if you asked him for stories, he would spend the rest of the day telling you every single bloody detail. I’ve heard them all a thousand times.” He sat up, dropping her face to a sneer and pulled his lips back. “During that war,” he began, perfectly mimicking his grandfather. “I killed fitty men! I collected their earlobes and wore them around my neck like a trophy!” 

You laughed, bumping your shoulder into Alex. “Okay, that’s a little fucked up actually.” 

“You haven’t even heard the worst of it,” he answered with a grin. “He likes to tell this story about the time they had to go save some guy–”

“Wait,” you cut him off, gently placing your fingertips against his lips to stop him. “I just.. I want you to know that I love you, and that all of that shit is in the past… but I understand if you want nothing to do with me after this.” 

Alex pushed your hands away with his lips, laughing again as he pulled back. “It’s alright, I get it. Just don’t keep anything else from me, okay?” 

You nodded and pulled him into your arms, giving him a good squeeze. “I promise.” 

Alex slid out of your arms and ran to his bedroom door, swinging it open before playfully glaring at you. “As punishment for not telling me in the first place!” He took a really deep breath filling his lungs before shouting “Grandpa! The farmer wants to hear all your war stories!” 

Alex wasn’t scared of you. Afterall, nothing you’ve done could ever compare to the stories he grew up with. He knew his grandpa regretted the choices he made, but sometimes, you have to do cruel things to survive. 

Elliott

Elliott quickly grabbed his wine, downing the glass in one huge gulp before placing it back onto the table. “What you’re telling me,” he whispered, his gaze focused on the empty wine glass. “You’re being truthful? This isn’t a jest?” 

“No,” you answered, scooting your chair closer to his. “Just.. I know you’re in shock right now, but please just give me a chance to explain–”

“This is wonderful news!” Elliott jumped up from his chair, darting to a notebook that lies open with scribbles across the pages. He sprinted back, throwing himself back into the chair as harshly it nearly toppled over with him in it. “Tell me, what does another man’s eyes look like as you choke the life out of him?” 

“W-what?” you stammered, glancing down at the notebook that was now on the table where Elliott held his quill above it, ready to write. “Are you trying to get a confession from me?” 

“Heavens no!” He replied with a laugh, putting his quill down and turning to grab your hands. “My next novel is a murder mystery! I would love to have your feedback.” 

“You’re kidding,” you replied, your mouth hanging open. 

“Not at all, my love!” Elliott smiled so brightly, you would have thought you just told him his book had a million sales; not that you used to kill people for a living. “It truly is destiny that we were to meet!” 

“Do… Are you okay with my past?” 

“Ah,” Elliott nodded, understanding now why you seemed so hesitant with your words. “We all have our demons, don’t we, darling? If I were ever to judge every person I knew by the skeletons in their closet.. Well, life wouldn’t be very fun, now would it?” 

“I’m…” you tried to focus, confusion swirling in your head making everything foggy and hard to follow. “What?” 

Elliott was already back to his notebook, licking the pad of his thumb while he flipped through the pages. “This part here,” he held the book out to you, the page filled with brainstorms and more messy scribbles. “Could you fact check it for me? I honestly don’t know what a man sounds like when he gets stabbed like this. Also, the shoulder would be a good spot for them to survive from a stab, right?” 

You laughed, shaking your head at this ridiculous man. “Well, actually, there’s a main artery that going along the shoulder–” 

Part of you wasn’t surprised that Elliott was excited to discuss bloody, brutal, cold murder with you. Although, the writer did make a point the next day to scold you for keeping the secret from him. He could have finished his novel even sooner, and… he could have told you how much he loves you and would never give you up. 

In fact, he would help you get away with murder. 

Harvey

“No,” Harvey stood abruptly, his knee hitting his kitchen table and nearly knocking his coffee over, the hot liquid jumping out of the mug and onto the table. “Shoot!” he cried as the coffee landed on some of his folders that were spread out. 

You joined him in grabbing napkins, trying to clean the coffee before it caused too much damage. 

“I can’t believe this,” he whispered as he tossed the dirty napkins aside, uncaring of where they would land. “Not you, not my farmer, no…” 

You pressed your lips together, trying to hold back your emotions. “Harvey–” 

Then he broke before you, a sob ripping through his throat right before he began sobbing. His glasses getting wet and foggy as he let each tear slide down his cheeks. “Not you…” 

“Please, I just–” 

Harvey straightened up, taking a deep breath and forced himself to meet your eyes. “I have dedicated my whole life to helping those who need it. I took an oath to assist any single soul that cries for help. If a patient dies on my table, I have to live with that for the rest of my life. The rest of my life knowing that I couldn’t do enough for them!” 

Your eyes widen, dread filling you as you realize this is the end. “Harvey, please–” 

“Get out,” he growled, his voice deep, dangerous, and oozing with hatred. 

“Let me explain–” 

“For you to come to me, and tell me that you took human lives for your own gain? I don’t need to hear another word,” Harvey took a step towards you, his body tensing, preparing to fight you if he must. “Get the fuck out of my home.”

Everything in you wanted to stay, to fight for what you had… 

You left, crying on your way back to the farm, your heart shattered beyond repair. 

Sam

“For real?” Sam's face scrunched in disbelief. “No, you’ve gotta be joking. Ain’t no way the hot farmer killed some dudes.” 

While your hands may have been tough from constantly working in the dirt, Sam could never imagine in a million years that you would kill a fly on the wall, let alone another human being!

“Is it April Fool’s? It is, isn't it?” he joked and nudged you. “Well, you got me–” 

“Sam,” you breathed out in reply, the truth hanging between you. 

“Holy shit,” Sam stood slowly, taking a step back from you. “You’re serious? You’ve actually killed people?” 

“Yes.” 

“Dude…” he ran a hand through his wild hair, not caring how the gel stuck to his fingers. 

He needed more information, but right now, he needed to make one thing clear. 

“Look,” he started and made his way back to you, dropping himself on his mattress next to you. “Like, I’m not gonna dump you over this; but keeping that from me was seriously not cool.” 

“I know,” you mumbled in reply and offered a weak smile. “I just–” 

Sam raised a hand, cutting you off. “No, we’re gonna talk about this later, after we’ve both had some pizza, and maybe a couple… or an entire case of beer. You’re gonna break all this shit down for me, and then we’re gonna talk about how you’re doing like.. Mentally. After doing all that shit.” 

“Mentally?” you asked with a laugh. “What--” 

“Nope,” Sam stood and grabbed your hand. “Pizza first, you asshole. I can’t believe you killed people, so fucking weird.” 

Sam was in it for the long run, and while he viewed you differently (as like, a cold blooded killer what the fuck,) he wasn’t going to give up on you just because of a dark past. 

Sebastian

“I mean, who hasn’t?” 

Your head whips up to stare back at Sebastian, not sure you just hear those words correctly. “Wait–” 

“You think I haven’t killed a man? Why do you think I hide out in the basement coding shit all day instead of living in the city and making a fortune? Be realistic.” 

“Sebastian, I–” 

“No, it’s cool. I really don’t care,” he said with a shrug and went back to typing on his computer. 

“Well, no, wait; Sebastian that’s a lot to drop on someone–” 

“Hey, I wasn’t a fucking hitman though now was I?” 

“I don’t know, were you?!” 

He shrugs again, reaching for an open pack of cigarettes and lights one up. He takes a deep drag and then blows it out slowly. “I’m gonna go get some leftover pumpkin soup, I made it last night, you want some?” 

You just stare back at him, your jaw hanging open. Now you were the one that needed more information! 

But, you supposed that could wait. Pumpkin soup was on the line, afterall. 

Shane

He takes a sip of his soda, savoring the flavor and bubbles before putting his can back down on the kitchen table. 

“So,” he began, forcing himself to sit up straight and meet your eyes. 

“Are you here to kill me then?” 

“What?” 

“Are you.. here, to kill me?” Shane asked again, slowly. 

“No!” you shouted and waved your hands in front of you like a white flag. “You’ve got the wrong idea!” 

“I’m not telling you how I made the chickens blue, you can beat me to the brink of death and I’ll never spill–” 

“Shane, babe, no– well actually how do you–” you stopped speaking as Shane glared at you and narrowed his eyes. “Nevermind the chickens, I’m not here to kill you.” 

“To kill Marnie then?” He asks. “To end the competition for milk and eggs? You make me sick,” he spit. 

“No, what? I turn all my milk into cheese to make you Pepper Poppers or Pizza–” 

“Then the eggs!” He declares and stands up, pointing a finger down where you sat. 

“Please, just listen to me,” you stood with him, on the verge of tears knowing that this could be the end–

Shane’s frown twitched, so quick you could almost miss it. 

You opened your mouth to speak, then closed it, then opened it again. 

“Oh, I see. You came here to kill Willy, with your gaping fish mouth.” 

Any doubt or worries you had dropped instantly. “You’re totally fucking with me, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah, I found your list of names a few months ago. You really shouldn’t leave that stuff lying around you know?” 

“Yoba,” you sighed in relief and dropped back into your chair, the wood lightly squeezing on the tiled floor. “Why didn’t you say anything?” You kept your head down, ashamed to have ever tried to hide this from him. 

Shane chuckled and sat back down, “I figured you’d tell me when the time was right.” 

You risked a glance at Shane, “do you hate me for it.” 

“Hate you? Of all people to hate someone for the mistakes they made in their past, you think I’m going to be one of them? I’m a little offended, farmer.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cracked a smile as he gazed at you, his eyes filled with all of the love and support in the world. 

He was right, Shane would never judge you for your past, just as you never judge him for his. The only thing that matters is the kind of person you are moving forward, and that suits him just fine. 

Abigail

The first thing she asks, with a wicked grin and excited eyes, “So, how many people did you kill?” 

While she knows the value of a human life, she could never allow her thoughts to wander towards ‘what if I killed someone?’ She feared she may pursue it herself. 

“What was your weapon of choice?” she would ask next, hardly containing the buzz flowing through her body from the quick high; knowing she was talking to (dating!) a certified badass killer. 

She does view you differently, however. 

Not as an evil person, as you might have expected; but someone strong enough to protect her, someone who told her this knowing that she might turn away from them, someone who loves her enough to put her first. 

The subject is sensitive, and she knows not to tease you too much or ask for too many details; but she does ask for the occasional story – if you’re willing to give it. 

Emily

She gasps, her hands flying up to cover her mouth as she stares back at you in horror. “W-what do you m-mean,” she stumbles over her words, her hands now shaking as she lowers them away from her face, trying to steady them as they rest in her lap. “You.. you actually, ki–” she can’t finish the sentence. 

“I did what I had to, to get by. Please understand that I’m not a bad person-” 

“You killed people,” she dropped her head and watched as tears fell into her lap. “You actually killed people…” 

“Emily–” 

“How can I trust you after this?!” She jumped up, still shaking while she paced around her room. “How can I know that you’re not withholding more?!” 

You stood and put your hands on her shoulders, holding her in place, but she refused to meet your eyes. “I swear to you, I will never hide something from you again… if you just give me a chance to prove myself.” 

Emily dropped her head onto your shoulder, softly sobbing and letting her tears drip onto your shirt. “You’re going to tell me everything.” 

“Okay,” you whispered back, your arms moving down to wrap around her. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

There would be a lot of trust issues moving forward, and Emily would keep you on a tight leash for a while; but she knew that not everyone was perfect, and while she might not like your past, she loves who you are now. And she’s not willing to give up yet. 

Haley

She looked up from her phone, her brow dropping down and her eyes narrowing, “Ew.” 

You tried not to snort a laugh at her reply, but failed miserably. “That’s all you have to say? Ew?” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “what else am I supposed to say? Oh no, please don’t kill me, super scary hitman?” 

“Uh,” you looked around you as if you could find the answer hovering in the air. “I’m.. not.. sure, honestly.” 

Another eyeroll. “You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it’s worth. I’m still going to love you no matter what dumb shit you’ve done in your past. I mean, did you know that I dyed my hair black once? Also, ew. Total regret.” 

Bewildered, you plopped down beside her, shaking your head in disbelief. “You don’t care?” 

“Ugh. Of course I care,” she slapped you on the side and finally put her phone aside. “But you obviously regret it, like I did with the black hair, and while our past mistakes may have been huge; it doesn’t dictate who we are today. So, don’t worry about it.” 

“You realize you’re comparing black hair to the murder of a.. Lot of people?” 

“Babe,” she took a deep breath, staring deep into your eyes, begging you to understand… 

“I used a box dye. Tell me a worse crime than that.” 

You laughed together, her crime never coming close to your misdeeds, and she knew it. But after getting to know you, she knew she could continue to trust you just as she always has. 

Leah

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Leah threw her paintbrush at you, hitting you in the chest and leaving a splotch of yellow paint. “Not again!” 

“Again?!” you shouted back in shock. “What do you mean again!?”

“Tell me,” she hissed. “How many, what organization, and why the hell did you make me fall in love with you?!” 

“Leah,” 

“Do. Not. Leah. Me.” Each word spit in your direction. “Answer me.” 

You sighed, “it was a lot of people.. The organization was international and I never really knew who was in charge..” Closing your eyes, just to get away from her angry glare for a moment, you continued, “I never meant to mislead you. I wanted to tell you the truth to see if I even still stood a chance with you.” 

Leah relaxed, shaking her head before finding a place to sit down. “Thanks, for telling me, I guess.” 

Moving to her side, you kneeled next to her, taking her paint stained hands into your own. “Please, just give me a chance to make this up to you. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

“Yeah, well. You did,” she gently pulled her hands away, turning away from you. “Honestly, I don’t know if I can go through this again.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re never fully out of that life, farmer. That past will come back to haunt you one day, and I don’t think I have the strength to endure it.” 

“No, Leah, it’s over, I swear–” 

“Just leave, okay? I have a lot to think about.” 

Dejected, you do as you're told, stopping to say one last thing before you go. “I hope you’ll give me another chance, Leah. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 

She sniffles and wipes a tear away, “we’ll see.” 

Maru

She begins by tilting her head at you, her eyes scanning you up and down before turning back to her studies. “I know that, it’s pretty obvious.”

“Huh?!” you blurt out, shaking your head. “How–” 

Maru sighed and put her work aside, realizing that they needed to have a full chat about this now, despite her samples calling for her. 

“Once, you mentioned the amount of required poison to kill a person without raising suspicion to require an autopsy.” 

“Okay, but–”

“Another time, when my dad asked if you wanted to go camping one weekend and maybe hunting, you asked if a Heckler & Koch P30L would be an appropriate gun to bring.”

“I’ve never been hunting before!” you defended, weakly. 

“Sweetheart, it’s a handgun. You don’t go hunting with a handgun.” 

“Hang on–”

“Furthermore, you have two bullet wounds that I know of. One on your lower left calf and the other on your upper bicep. You also have obvious scars from being stabbed or sliced and it was most certainly not from a childhood cat.” 

You both stared at one another. You felt like an idiot for thinking you could ever hide anything from her. 

“Does it bother you?” 

“A little,” she admitted with a small shrug. “So long as you don’t go back into that kind of work though, I can get over it. Just don’t ever try to lie to me again, I will always know.” 

Penny

Her eyes widen and her heartbeat jumps so quickly she thinks she might faint.

She would have never expected this of you. 

Going into the mines was one thing, but killing people was a whole other level of insanity. 

It takes her a minute to process what you’ve just told her, her hands twisting in her lap, fearing she’s going to say the wrong thing. 

“Were they all bad people?” she finally asks, lifting her eyes up to meet yours. 

You take a moment to respond, a lie resting at the tip of your tongue, but you squash it and say, “No, they weren’t.” 

At this, Penny breaks. 

She drops her head into her hands and cries, pulling her knees up and to her chest while the heels of her feet rest on the edge of the couch. 

She was in love with you. So desperately, eagerly, pathetically in love with you. 

And now, she doesn’t know how to move forward. 

Her whole life, she has dealt with bad people. From the moment she was born she has fought with everything she’s ever had to be one of the good ones. Abiding by the rules, keeping to herself to avoid stepping on any toes, taking care of others when they don’t even appreciate the kindness she shows to them. 

“I don’t-” she gasped between her tears. “I don’t think I can do this.” 

The farmer nodded, taking her hands into their own and squeezing them gently. “I love you, Penny. More than anything.” 

“Why did you have to tell me?” she whispered. “Why..” 

“I couldn’t keep lying to you..” 

Penny stood, ripping her hands away to rope the back of them under her eyes. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to me ever again.”

Then she ran off, leaving you there as the guilt washed over you. 

[sdvbraindump]

I love seeing everyone's different headcanons of the SDV bachelors. Like I've seen so many of Harvey being mid to late thirties with almost like an old soul, autistic, fearing he was never going to get married...

And then there's me thinking this guy was a party boy in college with a wild streak that died when he went to medical school and just needs a little "push" to bring it out again as an adult

[fallingforboyswithmicrophones]

The farmer walks into Harvey’s clinic bloody, bruised and half their clothing torn.

Harvey looks at the Farmer and sighs “Been exploring Skull Cavern again?” He asks.

“No, I started breeding dinosaurs!” The farmer

Harvey closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Who the fuck did I marry?”

[wrightingdungeon]

Busted Bottle

OK so look at me! Are you looking? DO NOT BREAK A ACTUAL BOTTLE OVER SOMEONES ACTUAL HEAD!!!! This is FANFICTION I’m just knocking out the mother fucker. Breaking a bottle on someone's head will do serious damage. THIS IS ME SAYING IT IS A BAD, DO NOT DO, A NO, NO!!!!

Warnings: Cursing, Drinking, Fighting your a-hole ex, Looking up you see the bottle warning, do NOT try at home, I'm not responsible if you do, I said it a no, no. Kissing 🙂

Music playlist i listened to if that matters, might help set the mood:

The music pounded in Sam’s ears and throughout his body, the rhythm of the music and the flashing lights melding together. You had invited him to an EDM concert in Zuzu City. While he had listened to EDM before, this was his first concert, and it felt like he was at home, but surrounded by others vibing to the beats, and without his headphones.

Feeling you tug on his sleeve, Sam glanced over to see you pointing excitedly towards the bar, your voice barely audible over the thumping bass, having to lean in close. “Wanna go get a drink?” You shouted into his ear. He nodded enthusiastically, gripping your hand tightly to ensure you wouldn’t be separated in the pulsating crowd.

As you maneuvered through the sea of dancing bodies, the bass reverberated through the air, perfectly synchronized with the pulsing lights overhead. The crowd appeared as a swirling kaleidoscope of colors and movement, each person completely immersed in the music. The atmosphere was electric, filled with the faint aroma of cigarette smoke and sweat, adding to the heady ambiance of the concert.

Upon reaching the bar, you caught the bartender’s attention amidst the surreal glow of neon lights from the stage, transforming the bottles behind the bar into magical potions akin to those seen at Rasmodius’s tower. “Two shots of Vodka!” you yelled, prompting a quick nod from the bartender who swiftly poured the drinks.

Sam took his shot, feeling the burn of the alcohol blending with the adrenaline already coursing through his veins. He glanced at you, your face illuminated with excitement, and couldn’t help but grin. This was shaping up to be a night to remember. The DJ smoothly transitioned into another track, the familiar heavy bass of Phonk eliciting cheers from the crowd.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me tonight!” Sam yelled over the music, leaning close to your ear as he leaned back against the counter, setting his empty shot glass next to a discarded beer bottle.

“No problem, Sam! This is a lot of fun, and it's payback for your concert!” You replied enthusiastically, Sam chuckling in agreement, remembering when he had invited you to watch him, Abigail and Sebastian perform.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t a paid ticket,” Sam laughed, enjoying the proximity you both needed to maintain to hear each other over the loud music. He caught a whiff of you, a scent that he found pleasing. “Shush and enjoy, Sammy,” you teased, playfully nudging him with your shoulder.

“Hey, Farmer!” A voice boomed over the music, drawing Sam’s attention. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity at the person yelling over the loud music. “Oh, fuck…” he heard you mutter before you downed your shot, placing the glass next to his, nudging the beer bottle. “I didn’t think they’d show up…” The voice belonged to your ex, Dakota, who was making their way through the crowd toward you. The sight of them caused your heart to sink momentarily, a rush of memories flooding back.

Sam noticed your change in demeanor and leaned in closer. “Want me to handle this?” he asked, his voice low enough to be intimidating despite the loud music. You shook your head. “It’s okay,” you replied, mustering a brave smile. “I can handle it.”

Dakota finally reached the bar, their usual confident grin plastered on their face. “Didn’t expect to see you here!” they shouted, their voice tinged with a mix of surprise and, something else? “Yeah, well, here I am,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light. “Just enjoying the night.” You shrugged and glanced briefly at Sam, subtly signaling to your ex that you were occupied. “Damn, I guess you moved on fast,” Dakota scoffed, their eyes scanning Sam critically. “And I mean fast,” they added, attempting to provoke Sam.

Sam raised an eyebrow, sizing up Dakota. “Nice to meet you too,” he said evenly, his tone carrying a hint of challenge. “Look, Dakota,” you interjected, hoping to defuse the tension, “we're just here to have a good time. Let’s not do this, okay?” Dakota’s grin faltered slightly, their eyes flicking between you and Sam. “Fine, whatever,” they muttered, clearly displeased. With that, they turned as if to leave, but suddenly stopped and whirled back towards you, a scowl darkening their face.

“You think you can just brush me off like that?” Dakota snarled, stepping closer. “You owe me a conversation.” Sam moved instinctively to step between you and Dakota, his body tense, but you restrained him with a firm hand. “Sam,” you said firmly, meeting Dakota's gaze as they approached again. “I don't owe you jackshit,” you retorted, scoffing and rolling your eyes. “Bullshit! You move away, and now you're here with some guy all over you!” Dakota shouted, getting uncomfortably close to you for Sams liking. He instinctively put his arm out to push them back.

“Back off, man,” Sam growled, leaning protectively in front of you. “Oh, you wanna fucking go, Goku?” Dakota taunted, squaring up to Sam. Without warning, Dakota swung a punch, connecting solidly with Sam’s jaw.

Sam stumbled back, his hand going to his face. The crowd around them gasped and began to back away, creating a circle. Your heart raced as you watched the scene unfold, adrenaline surging through your veins. Sam straightened up, his expression darkening. “That was a mistake,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

Before Sam or Dakota could escalate the situation further, you reacted swiftly. Grabbing the discarded beer bottle from the bar, and swung it hard, smashing it across Dakota's head. The impact knocked them out cold instantly. Sam stared at you in shock, then glanced at Dakota’s motionless body. “Run!” he yelled, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the shocked and parting crowd, out of the venue.

You sprinted through the sea of people, heart pounding, navigating through the maze of bodies. The neon lights blurred around you, the music fading into background noise as you focused solely on getting the hell out. Bursting through the exit, the cool night air hit you like a splash of cold water. Sam didn’t slow down until you were several blocks away from the venue. He finally stopped, scanning the area to ensure you weren’t being followed. Turning to you, he tried to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern evident despite the bruise forming on his jaw. Your hand reached up, gently brushing against the bruise on his jaw. “Yeah,” you panted, trying to steady your breathing. “Are you?”

“I’ll be fine,” Sam reassured you with a wry smile, wincing slightly. “You really clocked them with that bottle.” You let out a nervous laugh, the tension of the confrontation finally starting to dissipate. “I didn’t know what else to do.” Sam shook his head, still smiling at you. “It was pretty fucking hot.”

Noticing a blush forming on your face, him still holding your hand, you holding his face, and the still-raging adrenaline in his body Sam surged forward, crashing his lips into yours. At first, you stiffened in surprise, but then melted into his embrace, your hands finding a grip on his jacket.

The kiss was intense, fueled by the rush of adrenaline shared. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, faces only inches apart. “That was… unexpected,” you whispered, a smile playing on your lips. “Yeah,” Sam agreed, his eyes locked onto yours. You chuckled, still caught up in the moment, holding onto each other. “So, what now?” you asked, the adrenaline giving way to a warm, giddy feeling.

Sam looked around, his expression softening. “I think we could both use a drink after that. How about we find a quieter place?” You nodded eagerly, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “That sounds like the perfect way to end the night.” Hand in hand, you walked together through the quiet streets, leaving the chaos of the night behind

[art-but-only-sometimes]

Stardew Valley 12 to 20 headcannons!

Last of the Stardew Valley Bachelors: Harvey!

✈️ 12 heart event: Harvey sees you at the clinic, it isn’t your usual appointment so he’s worried. ( I’m ok I just came here for an energy tonic/ I’m alright I just came to talk to Maru about something.) He’s very relieved. He says he doesn’t have any more patients today. He asks you if you’d stay a bit longer and talk to him if you have the time. You both head up to his room. (Is something wrong/What’s up?/Are you breaking up with me?) Option A and option B give similar results, option C prompts him to say: “Oh goodness no!” And then the conversation continues as usual. Harvey says how much he loves being in a relationship with you but sometimes he worries for your safety. With the mines and everything you do with the guild. He just wishes you’d be a bit more careful. (I’m sorry I worried you, I didn’t mean to/ I’ll try and be more careful in the future.) Either way, Harvey is glad to hear your response and is glad to see you’re going to try and be more careful from now on. He asks you if you mind staying a little longer since the two of you don’t talk more than a few words of conversation. A heart bubble appears over the character's head. You're more than happy to stay. The two of you get closer together and kiss.

✈️ 14 heart event: You go to Harvey’s room when he is there. He’s sitting on his bed, he looks exhausted. You come in and get his attention. He says he hadn’t heard you come in, but he’s glad to see you. (Is something wrong?/You look exhausted are you alright?) He says that he’s alright but he’s just really tired. He says it’s been that way for about a week or so. You sit next to him on his bed. His job, being the only doctor in the town, feeling like he’s responsible for everyone’s health. He also says that he talked to Mayor Lewis about possibly hiring a second doctor or possibly expanding the clinic but the Mayor said ��they didn’t have enough money for that”. A bubble of concern appears over the player's head. He sighs, he says he didn’t mean to unload all his troubles onto you. (I don’t mind/ I wouldn’t want you to hold all that in. Especially if it makes you feel bad.) He’s happy he’s able to tell you these things because before dating you he felt like he really couldn’t tell anyone. You two continue to talk and that leads you to offer to make dinner for Harvey and yourself. Which leads to YouTube hanging out afterward. Which leads you two to fall asleep in his bed together.

✈️ 16-heart event: You exit the farmhouse to find Harvey at your door. You’re surprised to see him. He says he’d like to help you with your farm. (I’d love help actually!/ Don’t you have any patients today?)Option A: gets a happy response, Option B: gets the response “I actually don’t have any patients today, that’s the thing with living in a small town, I don’t always have patients. You’re delighted to have the help either way. The two if you do your normal farm work. Harvey helps you with gathering crops and tending to animals. You show him your fishpond(s) (if you have them) After a while the two of you finish. Harvey looks tired, he knows that farm work takes a large amount of energy and stamina but he never imagined it would be this exhausting. The two of you take a break and have a drink. Despite being tired he’s still glad he came and spent time with you.

✈️ 18 heart event: (this event takes place on Harvey's birthday. Be inside the clinic before closing/ in Harvey's room before closing.) Harvey is tired after a long day. He is suddenly surprised by you in his room, he didn't see you before. He is happy to see you, you wish him a happy birthday. He's so glad you remembered, you gave him a gift. It's a model plane he's been wanting for a while but hasn't been able to get. He's so happy, you two kiss. He asks you if you want to help him put it together. You say yes and the two of you get to work on putting the model together.

🐚 ~Marriage~ 🐚

✈️ 20 heart event: Same as Harvey's 14 heart event, he makes you dinner and asks about your day.

(bachelorette's next!)

Elliott 🪶/ Sam 🎸/ Sebastian🎮 / Alex 🏈/ Shane 🍕/ Harvey✈️ Maru 🤖/ Haley 📷/ Leah 🎨/ Abigail ⚔️ / Penny 📖/ Emily 🧵

[luzxii]

OCD Elliott

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[filigreefarm]

piercings i would assign to the bachelors

alex

one earlobe

septum (edit: stretched septum with stacked gold rings)

nipples (diagonal bars)

elliott

symmetrical multi-earlobe & helix piercings, maybe a conch ring

OR. hear me out. conch punches with crystal plugs that shine when the light hits them from behind

dermal below the collarbone (off to one side preferably)

harvey

honestly i feel like he wouldn't like them at all. if i was gonna recommend one to him i would say daith

sam

tongue for sure

both nostrils, maybe add high nostrils too

earlobes stretched a little bit

hips (impractical? yes. sexy as hell?? YES)

sebastian

canine bites

bridge

stretched earlobes (bigger than sam's but still smaller than 1" i think)

lower navel

shane

eyebrows

both earlobes, ufo on one side

snake bites but only after he quits his job

i'd say nipples too but idk if he would be confident enough

these aren't like definitive for me, there's lots of different set-ups i like for each of them (like sebastian with dahlias?? elliott with a medusa?? alex with back dimple dermals??? HELLO????) so um tell me your ideas too please :)

[stardewremixed]

Stardew Valley Employment Headcanons

I've been thinking a lot about how many folks in the Valley don't work. In some ways, it feels realistic. A small town that is clearly dying until the Farmer comes along struggles with unemployment rates. It could be related to high taxes (*side-eyes* I'm looking at you, Lewis) and competitive megacorporations (like Joja) undermining the local economy. However, I'd like to do a little headcanon for the residents and their job situation.

Under spoilers, because TL;DR.

Abigail - after graduating with a degree in art history, Abigail starts working out in her mother's fitness group. She starts swimming at the spa. And she starts a workout regiment with Alex. Of course, this leads her to finally join the Adventure Guild full-time, protecting the Valley and exploring the depths of the mines. She still jams from time to time with Sam and Seb. I also like to think she leads a local Scouts troop.

Alex - this man deserves to have an amazing job as a pro gridball player. However, while he waits, he could coach a local kids team at the Community Center. I can also see him work part-time stocking shelves at Pierre's General Store. Maybe he lifeguards at the Ginger Island Beach during the busy season or drives deliveries out to Sandy in the desert for Pierre. Or he could work with Robin. Mmm... this man, chopping wood... fantasies. He still sells ice cream in the summertime maybe on the weekends or at festival days (because come on, Pierre needs a little competition and I love the idea of pineapple ice cream at the luau and stardrop sorbet at the moonlit jelly fest). I also see him doing odd jobs around the valley until he gets more stable work at Pierre's or Robin's. Need someone to fix your leaky roof? Alex is your man! (Because Evelyn mentions George can't do it anymore).

Elliott - I still like the idea of Elliott's secret wealth and he escaped his family to become a writer. However, maybe he regularly submits poems and sonnets via various contests online under a pseudonym, and does a few freelance articles (maybe on small towns, fishing, romance, etc.). This man deserves to publish a masterpiece and make it on a bestseller list, then gets an agent, and of course, publishes a series. He still does readings in the Valley at the library and the Saloon because he always wants to remember his humble roots and the people who cheered him on when he was a nobody in the business.

Emily - She absolutely needs to start a side-business as the town tailor. It's kind-of already in the lore, but I could see her starting up an online business (maybe with the help of Seb) on an Etsy-esque site. Also, I can see her helping out on the farm for a little something extra when she's not working at the Saloon. Maybe tending to the flowers, watering plants when the Farmer is in the Mines or off on the island or in the desert for the day. She mentions she would like to do this, but Gus apparently frowns on a side job. Hmm... well, I can see this girl eventually leaving her job at the Saloon to pursue her sewing passion full-time. She totally hosts a yoga class in the winter at the Community Center.

Harvey - He is already a well-respected town doctor, but the man is so stressed that he is hardly ever in the Clinic (at least not without mods). I propose Harvey hires some extra help, an associate, maybe another nurse, and a receptionist to assist, especially if patients from surrounding towns (like he mentions) start visiting (i.e. expansions). And he teaches first aid classes at the Community Center.

Haley - Like Leah, she needs an art exhibit to showcase her photography. Unlike the other villagers, I don't see her staying in the Valley, eventually pursuing the work of a freelance photographer and traveling the world (like her absentee parents). She does make an annual trip back for the Flower Dance, her favorite festival. I have pursued Haley the least in game so I'm struggling to come up with more ideas here.

Leah - Speaking of Leah, she transforms the Valley into a premier art destination. She can teach art classes at the renovated Community Center. She teams up with Seb and Sam (and drags Elliott along for the ride, and the writing) to produce an avant-garde film about the art all around us in small towns. I also think she grows her own herbs and sells them at Pierre's, festivals, and the Farmer's Markets (as she gives me green witch vibes). Maybe she partners with Caroline (or the Wizard) to create some herbal potions and creams. And of course, she's still at it with woodworking, though these days she works on commission for those types of projects.

Sam - This man deserves to be a rock star. And I think he'd make a great solo artist. However, if his guitarist dreams don't pan out, he has options. In the vanilla game, he starts working with Gunther at the museum after JojaMart closes. It's a strange choice, but... I figure, maybe he minored in anthropology in college. He would absolutely give amazing tours of the museum, full of exuberant commentary, perfect for kids field trip days too. And I think he plays gigs in Zuzu City and at the Saloon regularly, and maybe even out at Sophia's winery (Stardew Valley Expanded).

Maru - Nursing just doesn't really seem to fit this woman of multiple interests. She finally pursues her passion of robotics and goes to work in a proper lab in a nearby City (doesn't have to be Zuzu - my headcanon is Pine-Mesa City or Grampleton from Stardew Valley Expanded). I think she makes regular trips to the Planetarium too. I could see her visiting the Valley on long weekends, and maybe taking the local kids club on a night-time stargazing event in the summer.

Sebastian - Please give this man a proper window in his basement, Robin! Okay, if he doesn't marry the Farmer, Seb moves out anyway and goes to live in the City for a while, to find investors for his indie game studio. In the meantime, he continues to do freelance programming work. And then, one day, he makes a breakthrough game that revolutionizes the industry. After making A LOT of money, he invests in a SAVE-THE-FROGS campaign, hires multiple developers and other staff, and starts working on his next big game. But he still makes time to jam with Sam and Abi from time to time, and of course, take long rides on his motorcycle.

Penny - This poor woman needs some love. Penny pursues her higher education and officially receives her teaching license. She is hired by the local school district so she can do more than just tutor. She can finally afford her own little apartment. She starts a kids club in the Community Center, and creates a summer reading program at the Stardew Library. And I like to think she takes a monthly trip to Zuzu City to shop in a big bookstore for fresh reading material when she has some down time.

Shane - Oh this guy is definitely a mess. If you don't "romance" him in game, he doesn't really turn his life around, and even if he does, it doesn't really point to recovery as it should, imo (without the help of mods). This man hates his job, and yet he feels stuck. I propose the following. After he recovers in therapy, completes rehab, and genuinely quits drinking (forever), and of course, loses his job at Joja (suck it, Morris!), Shane starts working at Marnie's shop and contracts out as a farmhand all around the Valley. Then he can be a proper godfather to Jas, and provide some actual service at the Ranch (when Marnie's off doing who knows what with you know who...)

I have thoughts for the other Villagers in the Valley too, but I'll save those for a different post.

[crispyanonartnsfw]

Unhinged nsfw Sam headcanon because unf

(this is in relation to this x older Sam/Sebastian scenario, but works for Sam/Femme or Male or NB Farmer as well, so I'm keeping it neutral)

* SAM IS A PLEASURE DOM * and here's my case study: he came around realizing it following one instance when his partner during sex was like "slap me and spit in my mouth" and his honest reaction was "🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 baby I would never???" Because he really is a big sweet puppy.

But.

He reeeally wants to please his lover, therefore he starts doing his research, and finds out that the kink world is vast and varied, and, lo and behold, discovers the perfect compromise. A pleasure dom uses a very different, softer, approach, with the ultimate goal to grant absolute pleasure and satisfaction, to know better than them even, rather than assert dominance or degrade their partner. It's no less commanding in the sense that it's a role that controls the partner's ability to come and experience pleasure, and it requires a lot of attention and care. A pleasure dom guides the experience based on a deep, intimate, knowledge and understanding of the partner's desires, characteristics and traumas, in order to cater to all of them and create the ultimate fulfilling experience, doing everything in their power to do so.

He would be like: " Oh you want me to make you cry? Ok, I'll leave you shaking with a face full of tears and drool because I made you orgasm so many times your limbs and crotch have gone numb. You think you deserve to be called a dirty whore in order to come? Then I'll fuck you deep and slow in front of a mirror, telling you how beautiful and perfect you are and forcing you to look at us and agree out loud for me, because you can be so good, I know that. You want to be in pain and submit? Then I'll force you to stay put while I finger you and give you the best oral of your life and edge you until, once you finally come, your orgasm is so powerful you go stupid, and then keep going until you are overstimulated. " and so on

The spanking, the bites and the scratches would not be inflicted continuously to hurt and break but would be pondered and focused to make the partner's sensations come alive, so raw, vulnerable and beautiful.

Sam would then find he definitely enjoys it too.

YOUR HONOR I REST MY CASE

[valley-of-headcanons]

the chill zone || sam x scared!farmer oneshot

only an idiot would fish in thunderstorms when you're afraid of them. apparently you're an idiot. sam has to take you into the chill zone.

warnings: fluffy, friends-to-lovers arc, thunderstorms

requested by: me >:)

Sam jumped out of his bed when he heard a knock at the door. His mom was out of town on a girl's day, and his father had taken Vincent to the city for the day. Sam opted out, wanting to stay home and write for his band, but he ended up just laying in bed all day. Until a very frantic knock rang out across the house.

Opening the door, he saw you, freezing and shaking. Was it from the cold or fear? It didn't matter, he needed to get you inside before you froze to death or fainted.

“I think you might be a little wet,” he laughed, leaning against the doorway, trying to be a little bit snarky before seeing your expression. He's never seen that look on your face. “Hey, come in. Don't want you dyin' out there or anything.”

“Th-Thanks ... I'm not really good with thunder and stuff ... I thought it was just gonna be raining today, but I was proven wrong apparently.” you laughed nervously, stepping onto the mat.

You two stared at each other before Sam remembered that he should probably be helping you. “Towel! Towel, yeah, let me go get that- you don't have a change of clothes on you, do you? Wait- why would you, that's stupid, that would be wet too- do you want one of my shirts?”

All you could do was nod as you leaned against the doorway, flinching at a small crack of thunder.

He ran throughout the house like a mad man on a mission, grabbing two towels, one of his shirts, and some basketball shorts you could tie up to your liking. He handed them to you, before noticing how your hands were shaking. “Will you be good to get to the bathroom?” he said, his voice beginning to soften a little as he realized how bad of a state you were in.

You shook your head. “I'll be okay, I-I promise,” you smiled weakly as you slowly made your way over to the bathroom. He quickly rushed to his bedroom to clean up a little bit while you were changing, not wanting to look like a total slob. His mom would be very impressed.

As you stood in the doorway, Sam looked back at you with a soft smile. “You made it out alive, I see.”

“Yeah ... when do you think the thunder will clear up?” you said, a frown beginning to form against your lips.

“Overnight, I think ... hey, I've got an idea!” Sam said with a determined grin, looking around his room before finding a decently quality speaker. He connected it to his phone before turning it all the way up. “What kind of music do you listen to?”

“Uhm ... I don't really care, I'll listen to whatever,” you said, walking over to him and peering over his shoulder.

He looked through his music before settling on something that might calm you down just a tad bit. Switching on some lofi music, he sat down on the edge of his bed before offering you two blankets. “Here, relax. Let all those worries away, you're not allowed to be upset in the chill zone,” Sam said, referring to his room.

You laid back against the wall, curled up in the mountain of blankets engulfing you. “... Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, having to speak in a louder voice so that he could hear you. That speak was doing a pretty good job.

“Don't sweat it, we all need help sometimes,” he said with a gentle smile, placing a hand on your shoulder. He slowly took his hand off before leaning back against the wall beside you. He closed his eyes as he listened to the soft beats of the music, perfectly covering the dangerous sounds of thunder outside. It was truly the chill zone.

You closed your eyes soon after he did, your head slipping from the wall to his shoulder soon enough. Neither of you knew, you were asleep at this point. Nothing could bother you two, it was a moment of mutual bliss. Everything was okay, all of your fears were put to rest.