#but everything surrounding it. is Hell on my anxiety...
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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Looking at stuff for my flight tomorrow & facing the fact that I won't be able to bring any knives with me... which is a Vibe Killer man it's killing my BRAND
I carry some 3 ish knives on me at all times and I'm gonna have to spend Six Days without any knives.... sad.
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transmiqote · 2 years ago
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my first lvl 90 extreme :D
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myfictionaldreams · 1 year ago
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Safety Measures // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: It was the anniversary of Steve and Bucky saving you from your sadistic brother. Usually, it was a time of celebration for you, but this year, you couldn't help but feel paranoid and unsafe.
Extra reading: Last Hope for background context
A/N: Happy New Year, beautiful readers! I hope everyone is well and safe.
Requested by: @theatrelove3000 thank you so so much for the request and all your support with my writing. As always, you're the best!
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, polyamory, ptsd, anxiety, paranoia, insomnia, discussion of past abuse, domestic fluff, dom/sub undertones, cock warming, subspace (kinda), hurt/comfort, new member of the family (yay!), puppy
Words: 4.8k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link
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Insomnia was an issue you’d never had to deal with before. Not when you have two of the most powerful men of all of the East Coast tiring you out and wrapped around your body to make you feel safe and content.
However, as the seconds ticked by on the clock position on the nightstand next to the bed, you’d found that your body was willing to do anything but sleep. As midnight struck, any hope that had been inkling in your thoughts was diminished. There you were, half sprawled over Steve’s naked chest, his warmth burning through your skin, with Bucky spooning around your back, sandwiching you thoroughly between the two of them, legs crisscrossed between one another.
Even in the safe embrace, your heart continued to palpate painfully in your chest with such powerful thumps you were worried it would wake one of your lovers.
It was always this day. This date. Every year, that sprung fear through your soul, with the memories of your past returning to haunt you. Before Bucky. Before Steve or either of their safety and love, you’d been involved with your family business, reigned by your sadistic brother, Enzo, who was both hateful and abusive, causing you to live a life that was not worth living at all.
For countless years, you’d simply been floating through life, doing anything your brother demanded to benefit his gang. There was no hope, love, or light in your life until the men whose arms you were wrapped tightly in found you, saved you, and showed you what life was about. It hadn’t been an easy adjustment, especially with the violent and bloody end to your brother, but then readjusting to the newfound freedom had taken its toll. The anxiety from your past still haunts you to this very day.
In truth, in the first few years surrounding your brother's death anniversary, you’d celebrated the beginning of your new happiness and life. However, as you grew older and had to live through the dangers of being in the most infamous mafia gang in Brooklyn, your optimistic perspective became somewhat fragile with the realities of becoming close to losing everyone and everything you loved on multiple occasions.
So now, when this dark day loomed over your head once more, your anxiety rose along with the reminder of the horrors that you’d experience throughout your lifetime. Paranoia blossomed into something that was logically not plausible, frightened that somehow, Enzo would return and take you back to the hell hole he once kept you contained within.
These fears had been discussed with both Steve and Bucky on multiple occasions, as well as your friends, who promptly reminded you that nowhere was safer on earth than with all of them. There was 24/7 surveillance within the office and your home, guards patrolling, all armed and trained, as well as having the enhanced bodies of your boyfriends always at your side.
You were safe.
Safe.
And yet, still, there you lay. Wide awake, breaths shallow, trying to remain as quiet as possible so that you may listen to any sounds of intruders walking through your home. It is an impossible feat to do either way due to the pounding of your heartbeat without your ears, the repetitive thump and drum that increased in speed over the minutes. Your palms were becoming clammy where they were resting on Steve’s chest, a faint tremble beginning to throb through your limbs as well. You closed your fingers into a tight fist, attempting to cease the shaking whilst blowing out a long breath as the clock ticked to 00:01 am.
It was no use. You couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t just simply lay there and wait to be attacked or taken.
Carefully as you could, you attempted to climb out of your fierce hold, but due to your fragile state and the firm grip of Steve and Bucky, the movements stirred them both awake.
“Baby? Everything ok? Where are you going?” Steve asked, still half asleep but attempting to rouse himself more by rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Sorry”, you whisper into the darkness, “I just needed to use the bathroom”. The lie trembled from your lips as you clumsily searched the bedroom floor for some clothing to cover your naked body. From the smell of the shirt that you were now tugging over your head, you’d found Bucky’s t-shirt in the dark. As your eyes adjusted to remain in the darkness, you could see Bucky moving closer to Steve on the bed, his face resting on the blonde's chest, replacing where you’d been.
The sight had you smiling for a split second before a rustle of the wind against the windows drew your frightened attention back to reality. Stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you, there was a stalling moment where the walls seemed to close around you. Strangling. Suffocation. The fears of your past squeezing closer.
“No”, you chastise yourself in a whisper barely audible as you take a single sweeping step towards the sink, running the cold water to splash it on your face. “Enzo is dead. Stop freaking out, you’re being ridiculous!”. Yes, you were having a conversation with yourself, but only because it was a coping mechanism before you completely lost your mind and had a panic attack.
“Get a hold of yourself!”, you continue the monologue whilst staring at your distressed reflection in the mirror. “You’re safe here in your home”. For some reason, your bottom lip began quivering with the rising emotions and the overwhelming urge to cry. Giving your body a thorough head-to-body shake and angrily wiping away the traitorous tears dripping down your cheeks, you also gave yourself stern talking.
“Either you get yourself together, or you embarrass yourself and wake up Steve and Bucky”. You wouldn’t, not when it was something as irrational as being frightened that your definitely deceased deranged brother would somehow return from the dead to steal you to a life of misery. You couldn’t stomach waking them from their slumber to see the sad puppy eyes they would give you as they told you all the things you already knew. You were safe with them; they’d never let anything bad happen.
Filling your lungs with air, you blew out a long, slow breath until your lungs were completely empty. “Right. One search of the house and back to bed”, you decided, needing to check the surroundings with the hopes it would ease your battle with anxiety and insomnia.
Upon leaving the ensuite bathroom, you were thankfully greeted by the sound of two distinctively soft snores from both men still lying together in bed. Tip-toeing past them and into the hallway, you made sure to keep the lights off with your eyes having adjusted to the darkness as you approached Steve’s office.
There were a few things that you needed from this room. Firstly, to check the security camera feeds from his laptop, showing every angle possible surrounding the house and inside the many rooms of the luxury property. The baseball bat was also hiding beneath the desk. It was one of many weapons stashed throughout your home, carefully placed by both Bucky and his bodyguard Natasha and even though a gun would be a swifter finale for any intruder, there were still more consequences if you were to shoot the firearm accidentally and hit the wrong target whereas, with a bat, you could still keep someone at arm's length and also not fatally wound a friend if they came knocking at the door.
Clutching the smooth bat in both of your trembling hands, you watched the screen, flicking between rooms and areas of the exterior of your home, not spotting a single leaf out of place. In fact, the only emotion that seemed to bloom through your chest was adoration as you stared at the bedroom video feed, noticing that Bucky was now the bigger spoon, wrapped thoroughly around Steve, whose hands were stretched out to your side of the bed, like in his unconscious state, he was still searching for you.
Guilt settled heavily in your stomach at the sight, and closed the laptop with a sigh. You knew this paranoia would fade by the time tomorrow came around. Still, it was completely illogical for you to react rationally today, so with a sigh that echoed around the office, you stood and began to search the property physically.
Holding the bat at arm's length, you peeked around corners first then swung before stepping out. You'd been trained to use all the weapons scattered throughout the house with Steve, Bucky, and Natasha, even with how to strike with a baseball bat effectively.
Every shift of shadows out of the corner of your eyes and every creak of the house naturally settling or knocking with the raging winds outside had your heart racing and senses going into full alert.
One check of the house turned into four full sweeps to ensure no one was there. It was also a slow and thorough check, so by the time you were stepping carefully through the kitchen, glancing out of the back window and into the dark abyss that was your back garden. The creak of footsteps echoed from upstairs; you’d become lost and disorientated on the search, and you had neglected to check the time.
05:03 am.
A sniffle and quiet cough followed the footsteps of the man who had decided to wake earlier than most. In a rush of adrenaline and the need to not be found with a baseball bat in hand like a crazy lady in the dark, you decided to hide the weapon in one of the kitchen cupboards and quickly pretended to be preparing coffee as the sleepy steps wandered down the carpeted stairs.
Placing two cups onto the kitchen counter, you almost held your breath in anticipation for the morning grumbly welcome by whoever had woken first. Steve and Bucky both like to be awake early, much to your usual pleas for them to stay in bed.
However, as the man walked into the kitchen, not a single word was shared as he stepped up close behind you, enveloping your body in a warm and metal arm, wrapping tightly around your waist and pulling you backwards until flush against a naked chest. Stubbled cheeks nuzzled into your neck as lips gently kissed the sensitive skin as you sighed, eyes closing and all tension diminishing into the floor at the feeling of finally being safe.
The two of you swayed on the spot, wrapped in the tight embrace, listening to the water in the coffee pot. One of your hand gripped onto the metal fingers, feeling the smooth material beginning to warm and match the temperature of your skin. The other hand lifted to rest on the back of his head, scratching his buzzed hair, earning a comforting moan from Bucky as he kissed your jaw.
“It’s a rare day when you’re awake before me”, Bucky whispers into the shell of your ear before kissing it. Goosebumps lined your body with the gruff tone of his early morning voice. He didn’t pester you any more about why you were awake at this time, but he did pinch the hem of your shirt. “Is it your plan to always wear my shirts so I must be topless?”
His words pulled a giggle from your lips, shaking your head as you poured the coffee into each cup. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.
The two of you sat at the dining room table, coffee in one hand and in the other you held onto one another, admiring the night turn into the day with dawn breaking over the fences that lined the back garden. It was blissful and a welcomed distraction from the terrors beneath your surface.
Steve eventually joined, groaning about waking up alone as he kissed you, then Bucky on the back of the head. “Who knew the big grown mafia boss could be so needy?” Bucky quipped with a teasing smirk over the rip of his cup before taking another glug of the coffee.
“That’s a lot of sass for someone who will be going without any breakfast if he keeps it up”, Steve grumbles as he looks through the refrigerator to start preparing the three of you breakfast like he did on most mornings. Before Bucky could respond, Steve asked curiously, “Why is there a baseball bat in with the plates?”
Your eyes downcast to stare into your empty cup, shrugging your shoulders at the burning stares of your boyfriends. “I don’t know. Anyway, who wants a fresh coffee?”
Thankfully, nothing more was mentioned regarding the random appearance of the baseball bat as the three of you ate and prepared to head into the office. You were thankful for the distraction working in the gang gave you, especially on a stressful day like today. Although the paranoia and anxiety that had kept you awake still bubbled away beneath the surface.
On the car journey to work, even squished between Steve and Bucky in the back seats, their hands eagerly resting on the naked skin of your thighs, having pushed the dress up to have the contact. Even your bodyguard and best friend Sam, who was driving the vehicle, couldn’t ease the panic that came from every car horn that blared, the dangerously speeding vehicles that passed or just the erratic driving that was expected with other idiots on the road.
Every single disruption had you anticipating that the car you were in would be hit or stopped, and your brother would then arrive and drag you away. Of course, this didn’t happen, and as you came to work, another heavy sigh released from your body as you walked through the extensive security to get to the office.
New shipments of discreetly stolen goods had arrived, which was a welcome distraction for you, checking the quality and organising where and to whom it would be sold. This only lasted for an hour before the coldness began to creep in, and you made excuses to return to Steve and Bucky back in the office.
“You know you can talk to us, right?” Bucky reminds you carefully whilst pulling your chair closer to his. You couldn’t meet his intense stare as you shifted your body under his awaiting arm so you were cuddled close to his side.
“Yep”, you respond casually, leaning into his warmth.
Bucky’s face lowered to your ear as he stroked his fingers down your arm. “And you also know you’re safe with me. With Steve. In this building or home. I’d do anything to keep you safe, Doll”.
You smile politely at him, trying to ignore the guilt that, for some reason, passed over you as you reached to take his hand that was draped over your shoulders. “I know”.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Bbcky checking his phone for the 15th time in an hour. Not that you’d been counting.
Finally, he seemed to receive the notification he’d been waiting for as he suddenly sprung up from his seat, pulling his leather jacket swiftly.
A frown settled over your features as you sat forward, “where are you going?”
Bucky glanced towards Steve first before addressing your question. “I’ve just got some errands to run, nothing special. I won’t be long, Sweetheart”.
He was leaving you. On a day when you needed him most so that you felt safe, he for some reason had to go.
You stood abruptly, pushing back your chair and taking urgent steps towards him whilst nervously playing with your fingers. “You’re going to leave me on my own!”
“Who am I? The milkman?” Sam joked from where he was standing near the door, and you instantly regretted the words, having not meant them that way. What’s worse is that Steve muttered something under his breath from his desk and now you were riddled with more guilt as Bucky’s sad eyes turned to you, his hands resting heavily on your shoulders.
“I won’t be long, and maybe you’ll get a surprise later.” He tried to bring a smile to your lips, but it was worthless as you were caught between staring at Sam and Steve, trying to find the words to apologise. Bucky breathed heavily through his nose at seeing you distraught, but then his phone pinged again, so with one last kiss to your temple, he made his way to the exit.
Turning to Sam whilst awkwardly rubbing your cheek to ease the burning of embarrassment under your skin, you attempted to apologise, but Steve cut off your sentence. “I’m sorr-”.
“Baby, come here”.
Turning towards the comforting voice, you saw that Steve’s full attention was now on you. He’d moved his seat away from his desk and opened his arm, a clear sign for you to approach, which you did with rushed steps before climbing into his warm, sturdy lap. Your knees rested on either side of his thighs as your fingers caded through the curling blonde hair at the nape of his neck which you were quick to bury your face into, breathing in his calming cologne.
“I’m sorry about the comment; I didn’t mean it like that. I know I’m not alone. My head is just all over the place and-”.
“Shh, I know, baby, you don’t need to explain yourself. I know you’d rather us both be around for you today”. There it was. The one small mention and reference made by someone else that this was a day that you hated. It’s not that it needed to be spoken about as it had been clear that both of your boyfriends had been trying their hardest to be there for you today by being at your side as much as possible, constantly checking in with your emotions and making sure you ate and drank enough.
But Steve saying it out loud seemed to make it all the more real, so as you clung to him with more desperation, his arms did just the same until it felt as if there wasn’t a single part of you that wasn’t currently being touched by his giant frame.
“I love you, Steve, so much”, you plead to him in a tired daze, finally feeling somewhat safe now that you were crowded into his body.
“I’d do anything for you, baby girl, you know that. I love you too. Try and get some sleep; it’ll make the day go faster”.
You wanted to and knew you could if you’d let your eyes drop close, but something still wasn’t sitting right like an itch that needed to be scratched.
“Could I please make one request… sir?” you say, nerves beginning to flicker through your chest at the intimacy of the request, already starting to switch into the role of the submissive mind, especially after the fragile state you’d been in all day.
Steve seemed to straighten his posture at using the name, and his lips kissed the top of your head a few times before he responded, “Anything”.
Lifting your head away from his neck and gazing into the endlessly intense blue eyes that always looked so kindly down at you, you asked, “Please can we touch everywhere? I just want to sit and be close”.
Steve tried not to smile at the innocence and the way you couldn’t even say the words, ‘Please can I cock warm you?’ which he knew was what you were asking. Reaching between your bodies, he began to undo his belt and zipper, “You know you don’t need to ask, Sweetheart. I want you to feel comfortable”.
You could never explain to someone why you loved the thought of cock warming so much. It seemed to settle both your nerves and put you into a relaxing state. Not at all times, though. Half the time, it would just turn you into a horny, wet mess that ended with you riding the cock until at least three orgasms. But other times, such as now, you just needed to be stretched and feel as close to Steve as possible.
Lifting higher onto your knees, you moved aside your underwear and lifted the front of your dress as you manoeuvred yourself to accommodate the toe-curling length that was Steve Rogers. Through your groaning sigh, you couldn’t hear Steve’s matching noise as he made sure you were comfortable with a steading arm around your hips before shuffling his seat closer to the desk and continuing with his work and talking to Sam about an email he’d just received.
You were asleep before hearing the end of the email being read out. Your head is resting on his shoulder, hands loosely holding onto the material of his crisp navy blue shirt. You were warm, full and safe.
Hours later, as the sun began to set and the day passed, you were still drowsy, much more relaxed than you had been in the morning. You’d wake up to Steve packing his belongings and Sam saying he’d warm the car for you and Steve.
As you gathered your disorientated thoughts and tried to sit up, you noticed that Steve was very much still thoroughly hard inside of your soaked cunt. Silently, you thanked whatever super serum had been injected into him during his time in the army. You clenched at the realisation, and Steve hummed in contentment at realising you were waking up.
“Let’s get you home. Bucky’s waiting there for us”,  Steve informed quietly whilst cupping your cheek tenderly.
With the position you’d been sitting in, your legs were sore and tense, but Steve was more than happy to carry you down, even with his cock still inside. However, with the movements of his steps, it caused his length to ease in and out of your already sensitive cunt that by the time you’d made it to the car, you were clinging desperately to his shoulders as an orgasm rushed through you, pulsing between your legs.
Steve’s knees nearly buckled as he rested your frame against the side of the car, his face dropping to your neck as he breathed you in deeply. Your cunt continued to clench around his cock until he, too, joined you in euphoria with a deep grunt and a snap of his hips; warmth flooded your hole and began dripping out and onto the floor. Neither of you or his employees batted an eyelid as both of you came. 
Once in the car, you were so distracted with cleaning each other up that the idiots in other vehicles that had panicked you on the way in, didn’t remotely phase you.
Wishing Sam a good night, you and Steve walked up to your front door, hand in hand. Steve opened the front door for you, letting you walk into the living room first, where you abruptly stopped, causing the blonde to nearly knock into you.
“I promise I tried to stop him, but he’s a feral little beast!” Bucky exclaimed from where he sat on the floor, surrounded by something that could only be described as chaos.
It seemed all of the decorative pillows had been utterly destroyed as the contents of the fluff covered all of the surfaces. Not only this, but there were half-eaten shoes, and the corners of the couches and coffee table seemed to have tiny bite marks gnawed into them.
“Bucky?! What did you do?” You couldn’t even comprehend where the mess began and ended as you looked at your dishevelled boyfriend sitting on the floor. Well, he was more lying down, reaching beneath one of the couches as he began to sit up and plastered a wide, toothy grin towards you.
“Surprise!” Bucky shouts with exhausted joy as Steve sighs with a shaky laugh from behind you.
“Surprise? What kind of a surprise is my home being destroyed?” you say, gobsmacked, staring longingly at your favourite cushions ripped to shreds.
As Bucky opened his mouth to explain, a tiny yap sounded from beneath the furniture where he’d just been reaching, and suddenly, a bundle of black fur was pounding for your ankles. It took you a second to drop to your knees and gasp, reaching for the puppy.
“Careful! His teeth are viscous”, Bucky warns, trying to reach forward to grab the animal, but you beat him to it and pull the pup into your lap.
“Oh my god, look at you! Aren’t you just the most beautiful little thing! Was it you that destroyed my lovely cushions? It was, wasn’t it? That’s okay. I forgive you. I’ll forgive you for everything. You're just so damn cute!” you couldn’t help but talk in a childishly high voice as you spoke to the adorable little puppy.
Thankfully, he didn’t bite you with his tiny sharp teeth and instead rolled onto his back on your legs, his paws resting in the air as he waited for a belly rub you happily gave him with carefully placed head kisses.
“You didn’t tell me you were getting a new guard dog! And what happened to the rule of not letting them into the house?” you asked Bucky as you continued to pet the pup.
Steve squatted down next to you, reaching to stroke the puppy behind his ears but then quickly retreating as the tiny sharp teeth nearly nipped his fingers. “He’s not going to be a guard dog; he’s going to be your dog”.
Your head spun with how fast you looked between your boyfriends as you screamed, “What?!”
“Yep! He’s all yours. He’s a Rottweiler and is eight weeks old. They’re known to be a protective breed and great guard dogs, so we will have him properly trained a couple of times a week for this, but we also want him to be yours”. As Bucky explained he knelt closer which earned the attention of your new puppy who watched him closely but continued to lick your fingers in between as you scratched the top of his head.
Steve rested a firm hand on your lower back as he continued, “We know how difficult today is, even with our reassurance that you are safe from Enzo”. Even just hearing his name, your whole body tightens and locks, almost forgetting to breathe until a certain puppy begins to wiggle and try and jump up your body to attempt to lick your face, having noticed the change in demeanour. “We wanted there to be someone around for you all the time, just with the chance that you could still feel safe if Bucky or I weren’t by your side. So, we are hoping this little rascal will be able to do this”, Steve says playfully, stroking along the puppy's back but quickly withdrawing when he nearly nipped again.
“Thank you. Both of you. I don’t even know where to begin with telling you how amazing this gift is”, you say brightly, glancing between the two men you loved most in the world.
“Don’t thank us; it’s the least we could do”, Steve mutters whilst leaning in to kiss your cheek and then standing up, beginning to grab handfuls of fluff from all the surfaces with an attempt at cleaning up the mess.
“I just want you to be happy”, Bucky whispers whilst kissing your other cheek, but then his gaze moves to the puppy, and a line forms between his brows as he frowns. “There will be some ground rules, though. No dog on the couch or in bed. We need boundaries”.
You nod your head in understanding but lean closer to whisper to the pup loud enough that Steve and Bucky could still hear. “Don’t listen to the grumpy old man. You can stay wherever you’d like!”
Bucky sighs whilst rolling his eyes and begins to help Steve with cleaning.
The three of you were sat in front of the TV watching a late-night film. The four of you were sitting on the couch as the puppy was resting in your lap, exhausted from all the playing you’d been doing and now resting as you tried to think of a name for the little guy.
“What about Winchester? That’s a good dog name, right?” you ask the boys, but mostly the dog, hoping he would react to one of the suggestions, but he hasn’t succeeded so far. You pondered some more whilst petting his little black ears. “Oh, what about Sargeant?! No… what about Rogers? No…”. You gave up trying to think of a name off the top of your head and began to scroll for suggestions online.
“Max? Brutus? Thor? Um, nope, these aren’t good. Chase? Ari? Bullet? Dodger? Bli-” Your suggestions stop as the puppy’s head tilts to look at you, seeming more awake. “What is it? Is it one of the names? Ari?” No response, “Bullet?” still no response. “Dodger?” his precious little tail began to wag as he yapped.
“Dodger? You like that name?” he barked again, attempting to climb higher up your body to lick your face as you laughed fondly.
“Dodger it is”, Steve announced from your side with a smile.
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ahqkas · 8 months ago
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BELLA ITALIA ; theodore nott
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PAIRING! theodore nott x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS! in the moment of darkness, he was your light (or when theodore nott noticed a pretty girl struggling to communicate in english and decided to step up) (based off this req.!!)
WARNINGS AND TAGS! fluff, reader is from italy, italian theodore, translation of foreign language
WORD COUNT! 1.7k
NOTES! i’m trying to learn italian on my own and when i hear this man speaking italian i am WHIPPED 😿😿
HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!
© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified
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MOVING FROM ONE COUNTRY TO ANOTHER CAN BE AN INCREDIBLY CHALLENGING EXPERIENCE.
The first problem is often the language barrier. Suddenly finding yourself in a place where you don't speak the native language can be isolating and overwhelming. Simple tasks like ordering food or asking for directions become daunting challenges, and the fear of being misunderstood or ridiculed can make even basic interactions fraught with anxiety.
The weather can also play a big role in the adjustment process. Going from a sunny, warm climate to a cold, rainy one (or vice versa) can have a profound impact on one's mood and well-being. It's not just a matter of dressing appropriately — it's about learning to cope with the changes in daylight, temperature, and overall atmosphere. You left the sunny shores filled with ocean breeze and moved to rainy afternoons that seemed rather sad than anything else.
And then, of course, there's the school. Being the new kid in class is never easy, but when you're in a completely foreign environment, it can feel like you're on an entirely different world. Everything from the way classes were conducted to the social dynamics among students was be vastly different from what you were used to, leaving you feeling like a fish out of water. 
But perhaps the most challenging aspect of moving to a new country was the sense of displacement, of not quite belonging anywhere. You longed for the familiarity of home while simultaneously yearning to embrace your new surroundings. You missed the way the sun kissed your skin and the way the sea felt against your movements as you swam in the water with your friends.
And you wanted someone to understand you.
Navigating the labyrinthine halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you clutch your time table tightly, eyes darting from one corridor to another in search of the potion dungeons. The castle's vastness is overwhelming, its endless staircases and hidden passages a far cry from the sunny, open streets of your hometown in Italy. You knew your first day here would be hell.
The weather outside matched your mood: overcast and drizzly, the persistent rain casting a melancholic atmosphere over the stone walls. You miss the warmth of the Italian sun, the vibrant colors of your old school. Here, everything feels cold and foreign, a constant reminder of how far you are from home. Everything was gray and dark, the opposite of the vibrant colors you were used to.
You spot a group of students huddled together, chatting animatedly as they stood by a stone wall. Gathering your courage, you approached them, hoping they can point you in the right direction. "Scusa," you begin, your Italian accent heavy, each word carefully pronounced. "Where . . . potion class . . . dungeons?" (Excuse me.)
The students exchange puzzled glances, clearly struggling to understand your accented English because despite your try, it still came out quite wobbly. One of them, a tall boy with a shock of red hair, furrowed his brow and shakes his head slowly. "What?" he says, not unkindly, but with a hint of frustration at this situation.
You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You try again, your voice wavering slightly. "Potion dungeons," you repeat, gesturing with your hands as if that might bridge the gap between your language and theirs. "Next class . . . I need find."
The red-haired boy shrugs, casting a sideways glance of help at his two friends who stood next to him. They all look at you with the same guilty expression, as if they would really like to help but there was no way. The girl with bushy hair smiled at you with an expression of 'Sorry', and you felt a knot of anxiety tighten in your chest. They don't understand, and you're too flustered to find the right words.
"Sorry," the ginger boy said finally, shaking his head again. "I don't know what you're saying."
Disheartened, you nodded and mumbled a quick "grazie" before retreating. You wandered through the corridors, frustration mounting with each wrong turn. The stone walls seemed to close in around you, the ancient tapestries and suits of armor blurring together in your anxious haze. You felt lost, not just in the physical sense but emotionally, adrift in this unfamiliar place where even asking for directions was like a challenge for you.
Your mind was still reeling from the embarrassing encounter as you hurried down the corridor, your thoughts tangled in a web of frustration and self-doubt. How could something as simple as asking for directions feel so impossible? The sting of the students' puzzled looks and guilty smiles lingers, making your cheeks burn with residual embarrassment. Lost in your thoughts, you rounded a corner too quickly and collided with a solid figure. Your bag slipped from your shoulder, and your books spilled across the floor. You gasped at the sight, your heart leaping into your throat. Could you embarrass yourself any more today?
"Scusa, scusa!" you blurted out in Italian, crouching down to gather your scattered belongings. The words tumbled from your lips in a rapid, nervous stream. You didn't even think the person wouldn't understand your sentences. "Non stavo guardando dove andavo. Mi dispiace tanto!" (Excuse me, excuse me! I wasn't watching where I was going. I'm so sorry!)
As you frantically picked up your books, you glanced up to see who you've bumped into. Your eyes widened in surprise and relief when you recognized Theodore Nott, the quiet Slytherin who always seemed to glide through the halls with an air of calm detachment and mysterious aura. You braced yourself for confusion, expecting him to look as puzzled as the others had.
But instead, Theodore's lips curved into a slight smile and a warm glint appeared in his usually cool eyes. "Non ti preoccupare," he replied in perfect Italian, his voice soothing and accent deafening. "È tutto a posto. Lascia che ti aiuti." (Don't worry. It's all right. Let me help you.)
The shock of hearing your native language from his lips momentarily left you speechless. You watched in amazement as he got down on his knees, helping you gather your books with nothing but ease. The knot of anxiety in your chest began to loosen, replaced by a flutter of gratitude and something else — an unexpected connection.
"Grazie," you managed to say, your voice trembling slightly. "Non sapevo che parlassi italiano." (Thank you. I didn't know you spoke Italian.)
Theodore's smile widened just a fraction, a hint of amusement danced in his eyes. "Mia madre è italiana," he explained, handing you the last of your textbooks from the floor. "L'ho imparato da lei." (My mother is Italian. I learned it from her.)
You stand up, clutching your books to your chest, and for the first time since arriving at Hogwarts, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. Here is someone who understands — not just your words, but the feeling of being caught between two worlds.
"Grazie mille," you repeated, your smile genuine this time. "Mi sentivo così persa." (Thank you very much. I felt so lost.)
Theodore nodded, his expression softening. "Capisco. Hogwarts può essere un posto molto grande e confuso. Vieni, ti mostro io dov'è la classe di pozioni." (I understand. Hogwarts can be a very big and confusing place. Come, I'll show you where the potions class is.)
As you walked beside Theodore through the corridors of Hogwarts, the oppressive weight of the castle's vastness seemed to lift slightly. His calm demeanor and fluent Italian became a comforting anchor in this world full of unfamiliarity.
"Da quanto tempo sei qui?" you asked the boy next to you, trying to make conversation. (How long have you been here?)
"Questa è la mia sesta anno," he replied. "Conosco il castello come le mie tasche ormai." (This is my sixth year. I know the castle like the back of my hand by now.)
"Sei fortunato," you sighed, your hold on your bag tightening. "Mi sento come se fossi in un labirinto." (You're lucky. I feel like I'm in a maze.)
Theo chuckled and the sound was low and warm. He was nice. "Capisco. Anch'io mi sentivo così i primi giorni. Ma vedrai, presto ti abituerai." (I understand. I felt the same way in my first days. But you'll see, you'll get used to it soon.)
As you continued to walk, the conversation flowed more naturally, easing your nerves. "Cosa ti piace di più di Hogwarts?" you asked him, genuinely curious. (What do you like most about Hogwarts?)
"Direi la biblioteca," Theo said after a moment of thought. "È enorme, con così tanti libri rari. E i corridoi segreti. Sono divertenti da esplorare." (I would say the library. It's enormous, with so many rare books. And the secret corridors. They're fun to explore.)
"Sembra affascinante. Mi piacerebbe esplorare di più, ma ho paura di perdermi." (It sounds fascinating. I'd love to explore more, but I'm afraid of getting lost.)
He gave you a reassuring look. "Se vuoi, posso mostrarti alcuni dei posti migliori. Così non ti perderai." (If you want, I can show you some of the best places. That way you won't get lost.)
Theo was the kindest person you've met here in the entire time since the beginning of the school term and your heart warmed at his kindness. "Mi piacerebbe molto, grazie." (I'd love that, thank you.)
Finally, you reached the entrance to the dungeons. "Eccoci," Theo exclaimed, stopping before the heavy wooden door. "La classe di Pozioni è proprio qui dentro." (Here we are. The Potions class is right inside here.)
You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves. "Grazie, Theo. Sei stato davvero gentile." (Thank you, Theo. You've been really kind.)
He offered you a nod, his smile reassuring. "Prego. Se hai bisogno di altro aiuto, basta chiedere. Buona fortuna con la tua lezione." (You're welcome. If you need any more help, just ask. Good luck with your class.)
With one last grateful look, you pushed open the door and stepped into the dimly lit classroom. As you took your seat, you couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope. Perhaps, with friends like Theo, Hogwarts might start to feel a little more like home.
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souliebird · 8 months ago
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[[and then I met you || ch. 20]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.
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Pain radiates through your body as you begin to regain consciousness. There are two points that are throbbing and parts of you want to slip back down into the darkness until the aches are gone, but the rest of your body doesn’t like that plan. 
Slowly, the switches in your mind are flipped to ‘on’ and you become more aware of what is happening around you. There are two people talking near you - a man and a woman whose words you cannot yet process, but the deeper voice sounds so very familiar and comforting. It takes a few moments or hours - you cannot tell - for you to give a name to who is speaking, but when you finally figure it out, your mouth speaks his name.
“Matt…?”
Your name is said, then something is touching your face. Your instinct tells you to pull away, so you try to, but there is a gentle pressure keeping you in place.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just me, sweetheart. It’s just me.”
Forcing your eyes open takes a few tries and you have to blink multiple times to get anything into focus. Slowly, Matt’s face forms in your vision, looking so, so haggard. His hair is fluffed up like he’s been messing with it and he’s got a frown that is so out of place on him. He should be smiling or laughing. That is how you always picture him in your mind - warm and happy. 
You realize it is his hand that is cupped along your jaw and press into it, letting your eyes close again. His thumb begins to rub along your cheek and you want to melt into it and allow yourself to drift back into the nothingness where there is no pain. Matt, however, has other ideas.
“I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me?”
You do not want to do that, but since he is asking, your eyes open again. Your brain feels like sludge, but it is your knees that are screaming at you to not move. 
You are startled into being more aware of your surroundings when a feminine voice speaks from above you.
“Matt, you need to move if you want me to do anything.” 
He seems to hesitate, his face screwing up into something clearly unhappy before he finally pulls away from you. He doesn’t go far, though, stepping only a foot away. Only once your vision isn’t filled with a handsome-exhausted lawyer do you process that you are laying on your couch.  You have no idea what is going on, why you are in pain, or how you got to this position, but part of you feels at ease because Matt is there with you. 
You trust he won't let things go badly for you.
A beautiful, but tired, woman steps into your view, a pen light ready in her hand. She has an air of authority about her that has you not questioning why she is in your living room. 
“My name is Claire, I’m a nurse,” she tells you and you introduce yourself. “You passed out. I'm going to check your eyes and ask you a few questions to make sure you don't have a concussion.”
“Okay.” You don't remember passing out, but it would explain a few things. Your anxiety-people-pleasing mind pushes your confusion down and wanting the examination to be easier for Claire, ask, “Do you want me to sit up?”
“Do you feel like you can?” She counters and you don’t really know the answer, so you try. Your head throbs as you do and your knees are not happy about bending, but you get yourself into sitting. More pieces are added to the puzzle of what is going on, but none of them make any sense. 
You couldn’t tell before, but Matt is wearing a dark red jumpsuit that reminds you of Captain America’s armor. There had been a news segment where they had brought out a replica to talk about the design and the function and all you can think is Matt somehow got his own copy and customized it. For whatever reason. You certainly don’t know all of his hobbies - it could be a cosplay thing for all you know - or some kink - or both. 
You are in no position to judge.
The other puzzle piece is Karen’s boyfriend, sitting at your kitchen table looking at his phone, with your daughter in his lap. She is splayed against him in her bright pink jammies and her sleep headband, and you can only guess how deep into dreamland she is. But why is she out here, being held by a near-stranger, and not in her bed? 
You don’t get to ask that question - Claire is back in front of you with her penlight, shining it directly into your eyes.  As she does, she fires questions at you.
What is your name? Birthday?
Where are you and who is the current president?
What is twenty divided by four?
You pass the concussion test and are rewarded with two of the biggest ibuprofens you have ever seen. You take them, chasing them down with water from your sticker-decorated water bottle, as Claire tells you what is what.
“You have a decent sized cut on your forehead. It needed three stitches - and those will dissolve on their own, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll give you some of these higher milligram pills for the headache you’ll have, but a good night’s rest will have you up on your feet again. Do you need instructions on how to clean the cut?”
You take in the information at face value, still unsure why you are being examined and cared for in your living room as opposed to a hospital. Everyone else seems so sure of what is happening and completely fine with it, so you simply shake your head.
“Um, no, I know how to take care of it.”
“Perfect,” she turns away and begins to pack up a backpack on the coffee table you did not even notice. “If you start getting nauseous, head to the ER. Now,” she turns to stare down Matt, “If my delicate hands are no longer needed, I’m going back to bed so I am well rested for the job I actually get paid for.”
“Thank you, Claire. I appreciate it,” he says in a soft voice, but there is a layer of gravel in it you aren’t used to. 
The nurse finishes her packing, then looks to you with a small smile, “it is nice to finally meet you, I’m sorry it was like this. Late night calls have gone down since he told me about you.”
“Nice to meet you?” You say to her as she leaves your apartment, completely unsure of who you just met and what her connection to Matt is.
As you continue you try to comprehend what is going on, Matt moves towards you. He cups your jaw with both hands, smoothing his thumbs over your cheeks, “what were you thinking?”
You frown at not only the rougher tone he is using, but the question, “Matt, I don’t know what is going on. I don’t…” 
You trail off and finally mentally address what you have been ignoring.
Your hand creeps up to your face and you feel the edges of the band aid covering up the cut on your forehead. How did you even manage to do that? Claire said you passed out - but how? And why? And why are Matt and Frank here?
Did Minnie call them like she did with Foggy when you were sick?
You don’t know those answers, so you switch to things you can figure out. You search your mind, trying to recall what you were doing before you apparently passed out. You remember cleaning the bathroom, then Minnie coming in and throwing up. 
As those memories surface, the rest rush you - you took Mouse to the bodega and on the way home, some man attacked you. You remember struggling and fighting then…then there is nothing. 
The fear you felt then tickles back into your throat and you can feel tears starting to form. 
“We were attacked,” you breathe out and almost instantly, Matt is pulling you to him, wrapping his arms around you and cradling you as the reality of what happened hits you. You cling back, burying your face into the rough material covering his shoulder, and try to not break down. 
You’d been slapped a few times - but no one has ever tried to physically hurt you to that extent before. You had never felt so helpless - so useless - before. You hadn’t been able to protect your daughter. 
Hands had been around your throat and in your hair and you had flopped around like a fish. 
He could have killed you. 
He could have killed Minnie. 
Matt gently rocks you as you process what happened to you. You try to not cry, but you can’t stop it when some tears do start to fall.
“Why were you out so late?” he asks into your hair and the guilt pools in your belly. You were so stupid to go out.
“Minnie was sick,” you mumble against Matt’s shoulder. “Her stomach was upset, and we didn’t have Pedialyte. We had to go get some.” 
You can feel him frowning into your hair and it just makes you feel that much worse about everything.
“It couldn’t have waited until morning?”
“No.”
It’s not you that responds - it's the man across the room you completely forgot about. You lift up your head to look at Frank, confused why he is speaking up for you. Matt partially turns, pulling you along, and angles his head towards the other man.
“No?” He questions, not sounding pleased at all that someone else is chiming in.
“No,” Frank repeats firmly. “That’s bein’ a parent, Red. Your kid needs something in the middle of the night, you go out and get it. That’s how it is - there ain’t no waiting until morning when they are sick. That’s how they get dehydrated. She didn’t do anything different than any other mother in the city.”
Matt’s lip twitches and you have the feeling he is trying to not scowl or snap. You can tell he is just worried and upset over what happened, but you’d never seen him like this before.
But Frank is right - there was no scenario in which you did not go to get Minnie what she needed when she was sick. 
You look to your baby, and you need her in your arms. You pull away from Matt, wiping at your eyes as you do, and make your way to your small dining room. You feel more than see Matt follow you - practically becoming your shadow until you are in front of Frank. Once you stop walking, he is against you again, his chest to your back and his hand on your hip.
Your daughter is dead weight as she is passed to you and you cradle her to your chest, giving her hair a kiss before asking, “Is she okay?”
“She’s okay,” Frank assures, and you feel like he is speaking to both you and Matt. “Probably going to have some nightmares and be clingy, but you’ve got one brave and smart little girl.” You smile a bit at the praise, because you like to think the same thing about Mouse - brave and smart - your perfect little angel. 
“Gave her some of that Pedialyte,” he adds, “and she drank it all, so hoping whatever made her sick will be gone.”
“Thank you,” you mumble. You feel like he is a father and that is why Minnie seems comfortable with him, but he has an air about him that makes you not want to ask.
You rock your daughter in your arms, feeling so grateful that she doesn’t have a scratch on her. You have no idea what you would have done if she had been hurt in any way.
You can feel yourself starting to calm - your tears are slowing as you accept and process things and part of you just wants to curl up in bed with your family and sleep for twelve hours. 
Unfortunately, that is not in the cards for you. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Matt’s head jerk towards the main door, and you can’t help but tense up. His vibe since you have woken up has been on edge and you're surprised he hasn’t snapped or something, yet. He pulls away from you to stalk towards the hallway and you hold Minnie just a bit closer to you, unsure what he could have heard.
He swings the door open and there is a woman with thick jet black hair and bored looking expression. She pushes past Matt without care and enters into your apartment. 
“Don’t ever ask me to do that again.”
“What happened?” Matt asks.
“Well, he’s not dead, but he won’t be waking up anytime soon. I even got you a report number, so you can follow up,” the woman says, and you realize they are talking about the man who attacked you. That makes your heart start beating a little harder and your mouth feel dry.
“Did they say where they were taking him?” 
You tune out of the conversation and instead focus on holding Minnie. You press your lips to her hair and avert your eyes away from Matt and the woman. You look briefly to Frank, who is back on his phone, then let your eyes wander elsewhere. Minnie’s sippy cup is sitting on the dining table, so you decide you can at least clean that up. 
As you move around the table, something else catches your attention. 
There’s a large black bullet proof vest sitting on one of the dining chairs, with a distinctive looking skull spray painted on it. 
You’ve seen that skull before - it’s a common thing to see spray painted on a wall or post box around Manhattan. It’s a symbol everyone in the city knows just as well as Spider-man’s emblem or Captain America’s shield - it’s the Punisher’s logo. 
The Punisher - whose real name is Frank Castle, who, if you recall correctly, looks strikingly similar to the man sitting at your dining table. 
For some reason you do not understand, you do not panic. You simply stare at the vest, all the connections flying around in your brain, and mentally go ‘Well, that makes sense.’
The Punisher is here because he was with Matt.
Matt’s dark red jumpsuit isn’t a cosplay or a kink thing - it’s armor. 
It’s armor because he is Daredevil - the protector of Hell’s Kitchen. 
Matt is Daredevil.
Daredevil is Minnie’s Dad.
That’s why he sometimes has bruises and cuts you don’t ask about. That’s why his knuckles are scarred. 
That’s why he is in your apartment tonight - Daredevil stops people from being mugged. 
You were being mugged and he came and rescued you. He called his Superhero Doctor to come make sure you were okay so you wouldn’t have to go to the hospital and explain how a blind man stopped the attack. 
“You okay?”
You look to Frank, and you expect to see blood and guns and mayhem, but all you see is the man who brought you soup. You see Matt’s friend and Karen’s boyfriend - who are two of the kindest people you have ever met in your life. They have treated you better than anyone ever has in your life. They care about you. 
You flash back to your very first encounter with Frank and you recall how you were scared of him, but Minnie wasn’t. Minnie - who is unsure about everyone new. You trusted her instincts even before you knew about her gifts - you’d once heard you can tell a person’s intentions by how toddlers and dogs react to them, and you’ve always found it to be true. 
So, you decide to trust Minnie as well as your initial reaction - it may possibly be because of a concussion but you would actually like to sit and think about what you just learned rather than react blindly. 
“I’m okay,” you say slowly, sticking with how you feel in that exact moment, and not how your night is going. “I think I’m going to go lay her down.” You hesitate, then decide you still need to be a good host, since this is your apartment, ask, “Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, thank you, ma’am,” he says, his lips turning up into a small smile. “Think it’s time for me to head out - leave you and Red to have a talk.”
Your cheeks heat up and you know he knows you have figured out who he is. You hold Minnie even tighter and look down to your feet, your anxiety over being perceived starting to spike.
But you know better than to be rude and Frank has always been kind to you and Mouse.
“Thank you, Frank. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”
You do not flee, but you do walk a little faster than normal to carry Minnie to bed. You oh so carefully place her down and tuck her in, making sure Pig is right there with her. Scooby must be out in the living room, and you’ll need to grab him when you finally are able to lay down. 
You stare down at your daughter, who is sleeping so peacefully, and let everything wash over you again. You cover your mouth to try to repress a sob, but you know it doesn’t matter - Matt will still hear it. 
Everything is changing so much and so fast and you don’t know how to deal with it. 
First, you finally find Minnie’s father, then you find out he has super senses and your daughter inherited them, and now you learn he is a superhero.
You don’t know how to even begin to process this development. There is no guide for this and you aren’t even sure how you even feel. 
You can’t be angry at Matt - you don’t know how he got into crime fighting, but you know how passionate he is about being a lawyer and helping people. You know he loves Hell’s Kitchen deeply and you can’t imagine having to hear every little crime that goes on. 
You don’t know much about Daredevil. You know he sticks to Hell’s Kitchen and he’s made the area safer. He stops muggings and break-ins, and he’s cleared out various gangs. You know the community likes him for the most part - there is actually a mural of him in an alleyway near the diner. 
But what does it mean for you and Minnie? 
How does Matt being Daredevil work with him being a father? If you look back over the last few weeks, you haven’t really noticed anything off. 
But what if he gets into a fight he can’t handle? 
Or some bad guy learns who he is and comes after Minnie to get to him? You know that happens to politicians and cops and such, so it would be no different for a vigilante. 
What secrets will you need to keep?
Do you need to learn more than basic first aid - like how to stitch someone up?
How will you explain this to Minnie?
Does he know Spider-man? Captain America?
Does he kill?
There are so many questions ping-ponging around in your mind you don’t notice when Matt enters the bedroom. 
He comes up behind you and says your name in a soft voice before wrapping his arms around your waist. He holds you to his chest, chin dropping over your shoulder, and to your surprise, you find yourself leaning into his hold. 
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” he tells you and you close your eyes at his words, letting his voice wash over you and corral your thoughts into something quiet. “I had a plan to tell you - to explain everything. I swore to myself I wasn’t going to hide anything from you.”
You believe him. 
You wish you would have known sooner, but you also understand why he didn’t tell you. It’s not just something you tell someone, and Matt has proven that his intentions have always been good. 
“Am I going to get another binder?” you ask, sniffling a little as you do to stop more tears from coming.
“If you want one, I’ll make you one,” he instantly replies, “just please don’t take Minnie away. I beg of you.”
You can hear the fear and pain in his voice, and you know exactly how he feels. You remember how scared you were that he would take Minnie away. 
You turn in his arms - looping yours around his middle and resting your forehead on his shoulder. 
“I wouldn’t do that. Not unless she is put into danger.” 
“I would never.”
Again, you believe him. 
His arms tighten around you until you're snuggly pressed into him and you can feel armor and buckles pressing against you. You squeeze him back, needing the comfort and needing something to ground you. 
You need to feel safe. 
Matt makes you feel safe. He made you feel safe before you knew what he did in the night and now it’s just amplified.
“Did you stop him?” You ask in a whisper. “The man who attacked us?”
“I did,” he responds. “I’ll stop anyone who dares to try to hurt my family.”
You shakily nod against him, then ask the question you fear, “Did…did she see?”
He doesn’t respond right away, but when he does, the guilt is palpable, “No. Frank made sure she didn’t see anything.” 
That eases your anxiety a fraction. You will need to talk with Minnie about what happened, and you already fear that conversation. She has never seen anything so violent before and you are surprised she isn’t already having bad dreams. You have no idea how she’s going to react in the morning.
You have no idea how you will react in the morning. 
You press your face into the crook of Matt’s neck, where there’s some type of rough black fabric. He begins to rub his hand up and down your back - you don’t think it will be soothing, but you don’t want him to stop. 
You want him to stay and hold you.
You want him to keep you safe. 
So, you tell him. 
“Stay the night,” you mumble against him, and he nods into your hair. 
Neither of you move to pull away - you stay holding each other in front of your daughter and you wonder if he needs the comfort as much as you do. 
It feels like time crawls by and your knees, which you must have banged up in the attack, start to make it known that you need to stop standing. Matt must sense something, as he nuzzles into your hair and whispers, “We can talk more in the morning. Let's get you to bed.”
You hum in agreement, then slowly bring your arms around to Matt’s front so you can place your hands on his chest, “I need to change. I’ll grab you some sweatpants and a shirt.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” 
It still takes you a minute to finally step away and when you do, his hands drop from you. As you go to dig for clean sleep clothes, Matt begins to undress. You try to not turn to look - you are curious about how the suit is put together and how he gets in and out. You didn’t see any zippers or other clasps, but you suppose he wouldn’t want those out in the open if he’s fighting someone. 
You find two sets of sweats, one large enough for Matt. You hesitate to start changing, but then remind yourself that not only is he blind, but you’ve slept together, so you have no reason to be shy. So, you strip and pull on your new pajamas. 
Matt is still working on his boots when you turn back around, so you set his clothes on the bed. You remember then you are missing a member of the sleep squad.
“Do you know where Scooby is?” 
To his credit, Matt doesn’t look confused. You wait patiently as he uses his abilities, then smile when he tells you the toy is under the coffee table. You go to fetch him, and finally drop Minnie’s sippy cup in the sink, and when you return, Matt has finished changing. 
You hold out Scooby to him with a small smile, “Do you want to tuck him in?”
Matt’s solemn face lights up and he takes the dog. You watch, with a strange lightness coming over your heart, as he places Scooby beside Pig. He places the tenderest of kisses to your daughter’s temple, and you can see him move his lips, but are unsure what he actually says. 
You let him have his moment before taking his hand and tugging him towards your bed. He won’t be sleeping on the couch tonight and both of you know it. You lay down first, then he does, stretching out on his back.
“Come here,” he breathes, and you obey. You roll so you can curl into his side, resting your head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest. His arm wraps around you and you feel Safe.
Your body and mind feel so heavy as you close your eyes, and you hope you can sleep as peacefully as Minnie. 
The two of you lay in silence and when you finally succumb to your exhaustion, as the darkness takes you, you once again hear Matt’s soft voice.
“I love you.”
-
AN: Its not mentioned bc Reader missed it but it is very important to me that everyone know Jess brought Matt his gloves as well.
Also new header :3C
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tags:
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honeyhae-svt · 1 month ago
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🎮04 | Your Lips, My Lips, Apocalypse 🎭
Part-Time Lover | JxW - masterlist
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⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️: smut, explicit language, petty arguments, depictions of stress/anxiety related to online and work life, light suggestive jokes/humor, enemies-to-lovers dynamic, mature themes, light suggestive content, jealousy/possessive behavior, emotional manipulation, mild profanity, oblivious reader (she needs proof over everything and anything), competitive tension, angst, emotional manipulation, romantic rivalry, descriptive intimacy. proceed with caution if any of these are sensitive topics for you! angst, emotional manipulation, romantic rivalry, descriptive intimacy. reader is getting bullied by her co-workers ! smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f & m receiving), unprotected sex (fictional context, not ideal IRL), rough sex (jeonghan pounding into you real hard), lots of kissing, degradation (light. reader is a slut. period.), overstimulation, desperate kisses, tension-filled build-up, power dynamics (m dom), creampie (bashful of that word), oh and lots of kissing. (i honestly dk what to even add in here - lol i added somthing unrelated to smut SORRY its already edited tho) wc: 12,180 ♪ playlist ♪ : boyfriend (ariana grande with social house), never be the same (camilla cabello), teeth (5 seconds of summer), treat you better (shawn mendes). "you aint my boyfriend, and i aint your girlfriend, but you dont want me to see nobody else"-reader "i lose my mind when it comes to you"-wonwoo "i cant have what i want but neither can you"-jeonghan
04
You woke up on a bed, blinking against the soft morning light filtering through the thick curtains. The surroundings were unfamiliar yet strangely recognizable. The high-ceilinged room, the marble tiles glistening faintly in the sun, and the faint scent of expensive cologne—there was no doubt. You were in Jeonghan's penthouse.
A sharp pang of confusion hit you as you sat up, brushing the stray strands of hair from your face. How the hell did you end up here? Memories from the night before crept in slowly, like fragments of a dream you weren't sure you'd actually had.
You'd barely had a sip of alcohol. In fact, you weren't drunk at all—just exhausted. The events of the party played back in pieces: you slumped over the kitchen counter, the cool granite pressing against your cheek as the distant thrum of music vibrated through the room. You remembered Seungcheol coming over to check on you, his hand resting gently on your shoulder as he muttered something about letting you rest. The memory blurred after that.
What you did remember was Wonwoo—quiet but present, seated across the room with a Nintendo Switch in his hands. He wasn't saying much, but you could feel his gaze flicker over to you every now and then, as if silently questioning why you'd passed out in such an uncomfortable spot. A small part of you wished he'd just told you to go home, but Seungcheol had intervened before anyone could. And that was when Jeonghan stepped in.
You could imagine his smooth, persuasive voice now: "I'll take her home. She's my responsibility." It was the kind of thing he'd say to justify anything, but you doubted it was really about responsibility. He didn't even know where you lived, and yet here you were, in his space, feeling even more out of place than you had at the party.
You sighed, rubbing your temples before standing up. The soft fabric of the oversized shirt you wore—clearly not your own—brushed against your legs as you padded across the room. It was early, but you still had time to get home, clean up, and make it to work. The thought of slipping out quietly tempted you, but you hesitated. It would feel rude not to at least thank him.
Steeling yourself, you opened the door and stepped out into the expansive hallway. Every detail of the penthouse screamed Jeonghan—elegant yet understated, expensive yet effortlessly casual. You followed the faint sound of movement, eventually stopping outside a door. Knocking lightly, you heard his voice from within.
"Come in."
Pushing the door open, you stepped inside to find Jeonghan seated at his usual spot—where you often worked on his makeup during long workdays. He wasn't looking at you, his gaze fixed on his phone as he leaned back in the chair with an air of ease that irritated you more than it should have.
"Jeonghan... thanks for last night," you started, your tone stiff. "You didn't have to. You could've just taken me home."
He glanced up, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. "I would have, but I don't know where you live."
Your brow furrowed at the simple reply. "You could've woken me up and asked."
"And disturb your beauty sleep? That's cruel, even for me," he replied smoothly, the teasing lilt in his voice grating on your nerves.
"Seriously," you pressed, crossing your arms over your chest, "I didn't ask for you to do any of that. But... thanks. I appreciate it."
For a moment, he didn't respond, his gaze flickering over you with an unreadable expression. Then, as if dismissing the sincerity of your words entirely, he spoke again. "What are you standing there for? Do my makeup."
Your jaw dropped slightly at the abrupt shift. "Excuse me?"
"You're here. Might as well make yourself useful." He gestured lazily toward the vanity table. "Or do you need me to remind you how to do your job?"
"I don't have my tools with me," you shot back, irritation bubbling to the surface.
Jeonghan's lips curved into a sly smile. "I have my own."
"You've been making me lug that heavy-ass kit around every day when you already had your own stuff?!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in frustration.
He chuckled softly, clearly amused by your reaction. "You never asked. It's not my fault you're utterly stupid."
You glared at him, muttering under your breath, "Asshole."
"Careful," he warned lightly, his eyes glinting with amusement as you approached him. "You're in my house."
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the nearest foundation and set to work. He tilted his face up toward you, a smug expression lingering on his features as you patted the product onto his skin. You couldn't resist pressing a little harder than necessary, earning a quiet grunt of annoyance from him.
"Is this your way of taking revenge?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You wish," you muttered, focusing on blending the foundation smoothly across his skin. Despite your irritation, your fingers moved with practiced ease, the routine familiar and oddly grounding.
But as you worked, you couldn't ignore the closeness—the faint scent of his cologne, the warmth radiating from his skin. It was distracting, and you hated that it affected you at all.
He noticed, of course. He always did. "You're quiet today," he remarked, his voice softer now, almost curious. "Something on your mind?"
"Nothing," you replied quickly, avoiding his gaze. "Just tired."
"Hmm," he murmured, but his tone suggested he didn't believe you. "You should take better care of yourself. Passing out at parties isn't a good look."
"And ending up at your boss's house is?" you shot back, finally meeting his eyes.
He smiled—a slow, infuriating smile that made your stomach twist in ways you didn't want to acknowledge. "Touché."
The whole day at work dragged on like a slow, suffocating punishment. You had done absolutely nothing but sit in the studio, pretending to relax while doing the exact opposite. Jeonghan, in his infinite wisdom, had told you to "take a break" for the day. The catch? He didn't let you rest at home, where you might've actually managed to unwind. Instead, he insisted you stay here at work, throwing out some half-assed excuse about needing you nearby in case something came up.
If he really cared about your well-being, you thought bitterly, why didn't he just let you leave? Not that you were complaining—well, not out loud. But sitting back and watching models pose endlessly under bright studio lights was far from relaxing. You were bored to death, practically counting down the minutes as you perched on a spare chair in the corner of the room. Jeonghan, true to form, was nowhere to be seen—off handling something important, apparently.
It was disorienting, not being at his beck and call for once. Usually, he had you running across the city, juggling tasks that no other assistant would tolerate without raising hell. This strange lull felt wrong, as though he were deliberately giving you time to stew in your thoughts. And if Jeonghan had one talent, it was knowing exactly how to push your buttons.
Your coworkers, of course, had their own interpretations of the situation. You could feel their glances from across the studio, hear the faint whispers that stopped the moment you walked by.
"She's getting special treatment from Jeonghan, huh?" one of them muttered, not bothering to keep her voice low enough.
"Must be nice to sleep your way into perks," someone else added, followed by a chuckle that made your stomach twist.
You clenched your fists, nails biting into your palms, but you didn't say a word. Let them talk. It wasn't worth your energy to correct them. They didn't know what they were saying—didn't know the difference between what they assumed and what had actually happened.
Yes, you'd slept at Jeonghan's house. But that didn't mean what they thought it did. It wasn't like anything had happened. And as for "extra treatment"? If they thought this endless game of mental gymnastics Jeonghan put you through was some kind of reward, you'd happily trade places with them. Let them walk a mile in your shoes. Let them see how long they lasted before they begged for mercy.
Still, their words lingered, gnawing at the edges of your mind. You hated how easily they got under your skin, how much you cared about what people thought—even when you knew better. But what frustrated you even more was the fact that Jeonghan knew this would happen. He had to. And yet, here you were, sitting through this ridiculous excuse for "rest," waiting for him to pull another trick out of his sleeve.
By the time the lunch break rolled around, you were practically seething in your chair. You didn't even realize Jeonghan had walked into the studio until he was standing right in front of you, arms crossed and a faint smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Enjoying your break?" he asked, his tone dripping with mock concern.
You glared up at him, too tired and too annoyed to play along. "If this is your idea of rest, you seriously need to reevaluate your understanding of the word."
Jeonghan chuckled, unbothered as always. "You're sitting down, aren't you? Looks like rest to me."
"Yeah, sitting down and listening to people talk shit about me. Real relaxing," you shot back, crossing your arms.
His smirk faltered for just a second, replaced by something more thoughtful. "What are they saying?"
"Nothing I haven't heard before," you muttered, looking away. "Doesn't matter."
Jeonghan crouched slightly so he was at eye level with you, his sharp gaze boring into yours. "If it doesn't matter, why do you look like you're about to rip someone's head off?"
You opened your mouth to reply, then closed it again, unsure of what to say. He always did this—pulled the words out of you before you even realized they were there.
Finally, you sighed. "Why didn't you just let me go home? I could've actually rested instead of sitting here like some kind of zoo exhibit."
Jeonghan tilted his head, his expression unreadable. "Because if you went home, you'd overthink everything until you gave yourself a headache."
You blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of his answer. "What?"
He straightened up, his usual smirk returning as if he hadn't just said something that completely threw you off balance. "You heard me. Now, come on. We're grabbing lunch."
"What?" you repeated, more sharply this time. "You're joking."
"Do I look like I'm joking?" He turned on his heel, already heading toward the door. "Hurry up. I don't have all day."
You stared after him, half tempted to stay put out of sheer spite. But then, against your better judgment, you got up and followed.
Because as much as you hated to admit it, he was right.
As you trailed behind Jeonghan, the murmurs from your co-workers grew louder, their snide remarks almost taunting.
"See? Told you she has a special something." "She's shameless. I bet she got the job because she slept her way through connections."
The venom in their voices stung, but you swallowed your anger. It wasn't worth it—not now. Jeonghan was already a few paces ahead, his long strides creating an effortless distance, his posture calm as ever. You envied how he seemed untouched by the chaos he often left in his wake.
For a moment, you hesitated. Turning around to confront them burned like an itch you couldn't quite scratch. But as your fists clenched at your sides, someone else beat you to it.
"Back to work." The sharp voice of the head photographer cut through the chatter like a whip. All eyes snapped to her. "You guys are so shameless. I bet you two have never even slept with anyone, let alone earned your positions fairly."
The room went silent, save for the muffled clicks of a nearby camera shutter. You turned your head slightly, catching the woman's commanding glare as she stood tall, exuding the kind of confidence you wished you could summon in moments like these.
You'd always known her as strict and sharp, but fair—qualities that had earned her respect among the staff. She didn't spare the offenders another glance, her focus already back on the set. Her words, though brief, felt like a lifeline, pulling you from drowning in humiliation.
Relief spread through your chest, and before you turned to follow Jeonghan, you gave her a small, grateful smile. She didn't acknowledge it, but something about the tension in her shoulders seemed to relax.
Jeonghan was already a good distance ahead, his pace unrelenting. You had to half-jog to catch up. When you finally reached him, he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression unreadable.
"You look like you ran a marathon," he remarked, his tone as light as always. "Are you that desperate to keep up with me?"
You huffed, falling into step beside him. "Maybe if you walked like a normal human being, I wouldn't have to."
He smirked, a faint glimmer of amusement flickering across his face. "Or maybe I just enjoy watching you struggle."
You rolled your eyes but didn't bother replying. Somehow, bantering with him felt like the only way to ground yourself after what just happened. As you exited the studio, the cool air hit your face, and for the first time that day, you felt like you could breathe again.
"Where are we even going?" you asked, breaking the silence as Jeonghan led you toward the building's private parking area.
"You'll see," he said cryptically, his smirk widening.
As you followed Jeonghan to the parking lot, your curiosity piqued. His cryptic response only made you more suspicious. You weren't exactly in the mood for more mystery, but you couldn't deny that something about his confident demeanor made you feel oddly intrigued.
He stopped at his sleek black car, unlocking it with a quick press of a button. The engine purred to life as he slid into the driver's seat. You hesitated for a moment, but then slid into the passenger side, watching him in silence as he adjusted the mirrors and started driving.
"So," you began, breaking the quiet tension. "Where exactly are we going?"
Jeonghan shot you a quick glance, that same smug look on his face. "It's a surprise."
You sighed, sinking back into the plush seat. "You're impossible, you know that?"
"Maybe," he said, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "But you'll find out soon enough."
The drive was smooth and relatively short, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you were heading somewhere neither of you had been before. The city slowly gave way to more secluded, quieter streets—definitely not a part of town you usually visited.
The car finally came to a stop in front of an upscale, modern building with glass windows reflecting the dimming sky. It had an air of exclusivity about it, something that felt... out of place.
You glanced at Jeonghan, your brow furrowing. "What is this place?"
"Trust me," he said as he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt. "You'll want to come inside."
The door clicked open, and Jeonghan got out without waiting for your response. You followed reluctantly, your footsteps echoing as you walked toward the entrance.
As you stepped inside, you were greeted by a warm, welcoming ambiance. It looked like a boutique hotel mixed with an art gallery—sleek furniture, artwork on the walls, and dim lights that set a mysterious yet cozy mood.
Jeonghan led you through the lobby and past a few velvet-curtained rooms. He didn't look back at you, and you followed in silence, your curiosity growing with each step.
Finally, he stopped in front of one of the rooms. The door was slightly ajar, revealing a luxurious suite, complete with a king-sized bed, a large soaking tub, and panoramic windows overlooking the city skyline.
"What is this?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Your head was spinning with questions, but something told you Jeonghan wasn't here to answer them just yet.
"Like I said," he started, turning to face you with that same enigmatic smirk, "a surprise."
Your heart rate picked up as you looked around the room. The last thing you wanted was more uncertainty, more drama, but you couldn't deny the pull. Jeonghan, for all his teasing and annoying habits, had a way of making everything feel... intense. You had no idea what was coming, but that only seemed to heighten the tension.
He stepped closer to you, close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off him. "Are you going to ask more questions?" he murmured, his breath warm against your ear.
You hesitated, your mind racing. But with no clear way out and Jeonghan standing so close, his presence overwhelming, you took a deep breath and made your decision.
You hesitated, your mind racing. The atmosphere between the two of you had shifted, and there was no clear way out. Jeonghan stood close, his presence looming, his eyes unwavering as they searched yours for an answer. You could feel the heat radiating between you, almost like an unspoken tension that had been building up since last night.
With no way to turn back now, you took a deep breath and made your decision.
"I'll take my chances," you said, your voice soft but steady, betraying none of the nerves twisting inside you.
A slow, knowing smile spread across Jeonghan's face as he reached for your hand, fingers warm and confident against yours. Without a word, he led you further into the room, the door clicking shut behind you with a quiet finality.
The space seemed suddenly smaller, more intimate, as you felt his hand guide you toward the bed. Your heartbeat quickened, a mix of excitement and hesitation swirling in your chest. Jeonghan's eyes were fixed on you, his gaze heavy with unspoken promises.
Before you could think twice, you found yourself sitting on the bed, your hands resting on your lap. But Jeonghan didn't give you much time to process. He was already standing in front of you, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body, his presence intoxicating.
Without a word, you slid your hands to his chest, pulling him toward you. His lips met yours in an instant—urgent, hungry, like something had finally snapped between the two of you. Your breath caught as you melted into the kiss, the world outside fading away until it was just the two of you.
In a blur of movement, Jeonghan's hands were on your hips, pulling you onto his lap with a smooth, practiced motion. You straddled him, the heat between you both intensifying as your bodies aligned in a way that felt both familiar and completely new.
His hands roamed over your waist, fingertips grazing the skin beneath your shirt as his lips trailed down your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. You gasped softly, unable to suppress the wave of desire that rushed through you.
The kiss deepened as you instinctively ground your hips against him, the friction between you both making your pulse race even faster. Jeonghan's grip tightened on your hips, pulling you closer, his body language giving away everything he'd been holding back.
It was getting hot, the more you pulled yourself closer to him, the more it felt like he was trying to lean away like he's teasing you for some reason. Until his head hit the soft mattress under him, you were on top of him and he found it so hot.
That was the plan after all. He was making you lean closer until he lays down completely on the bed. 
Your cheeks was so red as you tongue-kissed him, eyes fluttered shut with your pretty lips soft all over his. Jeonghan's hand went to the back of your head, forcing the kiss to go deeper. 
You were wearing tight jeans at the moment that you can practically feel his cock gracing your clothed cunt. Meanwhile, Jeonghan's hands wandered under your cute blue puffed sleaves flutter top, his hands moved with precision as if he's trying to memorize your curves.
And that's when his hands found your hips, pulling you flush against his hard clothed cock. You whimpered when you felt his cock rubbing against your clit. Pulling away, you took a breath, but it wasn't long until Jeonghan's hand grabbed your chin as he sat up again, kissing you deep in the same hungry way again.
For a moment, Jeonghan pulled away, his eyes locked with yours. Your lips were swollen and he's proud to think how messed up you look right now with your cheeks red and body hot as if you have a fever or something. 
You feel so embarrassed when you find yourself soaking wet.
"Undress for me," he broke the silence, and you stared at him, cheeks heating up more if that was possible.
You were stuttering, not what knowing what to do or say—not when he's looking at you with a grin that makes him look oh-so-handsome. 
Jeonghan leaned back, hands resting on the bed watching what you would do. He wasn't doing anything at all, but why does it feel like the more he pulls away, the more you wanted to act all stupid and do as he says.
And just like that, you found yourself talking your clothes off, skin exposed right in front of him. His eyes roamed over your bare body, as if he's working on all his self control to not touch you just yet. To see how far you can get being bossed around by him.
You unclipped your bra, unbuttoned your pants and removed them all the way down. Jeonghan bit his lips, but he didn't do anything just yet. He was enjoying having you follow his order. 
He leaned in close, his lips finding your jawline down to your neck, now nipping at the sensitive flesh there, making you flinch a little. 
"A- are you giving me hickeys..?" You asked, but he didn't answer just yet. He guided your hands to the waistband of his pants, and you pulled it down, revealing Jeonghan's hard length. The bulge itself was enough to make you speechless. Doesn't matter, you were already speechless as it is.
Jeonghan unbuttoned his long-sleeved polo off, with him pulling you by the chin to look at him as he devours your lips yet again. His hands travelled back to your hips, pulling you to grind your soaked cunt to his hard cock. All you can do was moan in between kisses with him swallowing every sound coming from those pretty mouth of yours.
He tightened the grip on your hips before he pulled away for you to catch your breath. 
You were panting, your pussy burning with the aching feeling of wanting his cock deep inside you. You feel so slutty that you didn't even notice Jeonghan's hand make it's way to your inner thighs.
"You're so fucking wet. You're incredibly turned on just with a few kisses?" Jeonghan mused, looking at your glistening cunt. "I'm putting a finger in."
Jeonghan rubbed your clit, making you whimper under his touch, skin shivering as you pulled your hips against his hand. He couldn't help but smirk how worked up you were right now. He's got a lot to say, but no words came out of his mouth. He was too focused at the sight before him.
When he inserted two fingers in, it slipped inside you so easily. "What the fuck? It's like I don't need to prep you."
He continued pulling his fingers in and out of you, earning a chorus of loud moans, your head falling on his shoulders when he reached that one good spot that almost made you pass out. His thumb was running circles on your clit while his fingers worked in you like he's done it a hundred of times before. 
You were breathless, biting your lips to stop yourself from moaning his name. "J- Jeonghan...!! Fuck... S- so good." You said as you cum all over his hand, followed by a sweet squirt.
But that didn't stop Jeonghan, his fingers continued to work on you, trying to overstimulate you. And just like that, you cum again. He pulled his fingers out licking his fingers as his eyes met yours in a darkened gaze. 
Panting, your cheeks flushed, Jeonghan gripped your hips, pulling you to his cock.
He was hard you can feel his precum on the tip of his cock. You grabbed it, stroking your hand over his cock, and Jeonghan grunted, head falling back.
"You're going to be the death of me," he managed to say.
You got on the floor, kneeling in between his thighs as you opened your mouth for his cock, licking the tip with your hand stroking the rest before bobbing your head all over him. 
Jeonghan groaned, his hand grabbing your hair making you blow him deeper. "f- fuck, you're such a good fucking slut."
You whimpered, having his cock reaching your throat. He was too fucking long for your pretty mouth, you were gagging. He didn't let go until he reached his highs, cumming all over your mouth. he pulled your face away to see if you were fine, but the sight caught him off-guard.
You were panting prettily, mouth opened with his cum evident in between your lips, dripping like honey. But you didn't let it drip anywhere, you swallowed his hot load, wiping your lips. 
Fuck. And he's fucking hard again.
Jeonghan doesn't usually have a high sex drive, but now that told a whole different story. He pulled you off the floor, his fingers brushing your cheeks.
You straddled on him. He kissed your cheeks before whispering, "Safe word?"
"Fox." You replied. But before he can shift you under him, you continued—"I want to ride your cock."
Jeonghan smirked, his thumb caressing your lips. "You're full of surprises, sly fox." You were too horny to reply. Screw it, he was gorgeous, and that made you want to dominate him. "Be my guest, sweetheart."
You guided your pussy to the tip of his already pre-cum cock. But just before you prepared yourself to make him fit—thinking of how it would probably hurt a little because of how big he was, Jeonghan held your hips before slamming it down his cock, your cunt swallowing him. The stretch was real and good you almost passed out, but you gathered yourself—you can't possibly back out now that you volunteered to do all the work. You knew Jeonghan would just tease you after this.
"Shit. Pussy's fuckin' made for me," he grunted, his chest falling in and out. You grinded yourself, his hot balls making you bounce on him. 
"Such a pretty slut." He watched your body bounce, tits bouncing so prettily as your moans matched the squelch of your pussy was making.
You were bouncing on his cock fast, his cock buried deep in your pussy. It reached your g-spot and it made you stop there, pulling yourself deeper, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Jeonghan grunted, whimpering as he held your hips in place, lifting you up before slamming your cunt hard in him again, it made you moan loudly.
"I- I'm cumming, hannie!" You panted. Jeonghan felt your walls gripping his cock, he furrowed his brows before moving your hips up and down to reach his highs. And just like that, you cummed all over his cock, it didn't take him long before his hot load came. He took his cock out of you, cumming all over your stomach. 
"Fuck, you feel so good," He says, carrying you under him, locking you in between his arms. "You're so fucking pretty I want my cock inside you forever."
You were processing things blinking a few times to him before his hardened cock—was inside you again, making you breath out a moan. 
"You rode me so well." He panted out, fucking your pretty little pussy recklessly but deliberately. "But I want to fuck you mercilessly."
He slammed his cock in and out of you so hard you squirted for the second time. "A- anghh !!" You moaned, your eyes rolling. "F- fuck me hard, sir!" You moaned out.
Jeonghan was panting heavily, the sudden nickname caught him off guard. "Insatiable slut." He slammed his cock so hard you were on the verge of cumming. He continued rutting inside you, with a one hard thrust, he cummed. His hot semen coating your pretty hot walls. You cummed after.
But the man didn't stop there. He was down bad for you he didn't hold himself back. He rose your legs up, making it rest on his shoulders before entering your cunt again, balls slamming your fucked up pussy as you swallowed him well.
"Fuck.... So fucking good." He muttered, pounding on your cunt like there was no tomorrow. "S- Sir! I'm cumming!" You moaned, his hands holding your thighs down so you won't have to move much. "Cum all over my cock, sweetheart." He replied, raising one of your legs so he can get a better angle of fucking in you. 
He slammed his cock hard in you, his hips pounding in and out of you, your pussy squelches over his cock.
Jeonghan made one last thrust, putting pressure between your hips until your walls tightened. He took his cock out cumming all over your stomach as you finally cummed.
You were breathing heavily, body trembling as Jeonghan's body fall beside you.
Weren't the two of you supposed to have lunch? Then why had you ended up on a bed, bare skin against sheets, your body aching after Jeonghan had worked you to exhaustion. It wasn't just the number of rounds—although those alone had left you trembling—it was the fact that you hadn't stopped him. No, you hadn't even wanted to. But why?
Why had things spiraled this way when just yesterday, it had been Wonwoo who'd left his marks on you? And now here you were, letting Jeonghan—your boss, of all people—drag you into a mess you weren't sure you could untangle.
You sat up gingerly, the soreness of your cunt pulling at your every movement, watching as Jeonghan knelt beside the bed. He was quiet as he ran a freshly dampened towel over your thighs, his touch softer than you expected.
"You don't have to clean me up. I can do it myself," you muttered, your cheeks burning.
Jeonghan smirked, though he didn't stop wiping at your skin. "Sure you can. But I'm the one who fucked you earlier, and I'm not about to leave you like this. Especially since you'll just go back smelling like me and let those vultures at work run wild with it."
You opened your mouth to argue but paused. He was right—he was infuriatingly always right—and lately, he'd been treading carefully as though protecting you from something. But why? What was he playing at?
Chuckling lightly, you ran your fingers through his soft, slightly tousled hair. "I don't get it. In the middle of the day, you pull me into some random, bougie place I've never even heard of, and then—this? What's up, Jeonghan?"
He tilted his head thoughtfully before replying, his gaze softening for a fraction of a second. "Honestly... I don't know either."
The words hung between you as he trailed the towel along your collarbone, his movements slow and deliberate. He finally met your eyes, his breath hot against your face, and you hated how effortlessly captivating he was.
Unable to resist, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. The kiss was gentle at first, testing, but when Jeonghan didn't pull back, it deepened into something that stole your breath and left your lips swollen all over again.
When he pulled away, his voice was low, teasing. "Let's prove your co-workers just how wrong they are." He put your clothes over your body again, handing the rest of your clothes.
You blinked, his words snapping you out of the daze as you covered yourself up. "Prove them wrong? How?"
Jeonghan smirked as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "They said you slept with me to get this job. Let's show them that if we did sleep together, it's only now—and it's because I wanted to ruin you in a completely different way."
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By the time you arrived back at work, two hours had passed, and every pair of eyes in the office practically burned into you. You could hear the whispers again, loud enough that they were obviously meant for you.
"See? I told you." "She's shameless. Bet she skipped the interview process entirely and went straight to Jeonghan's bed." "I'd kill to know what tricks she used to get where she is."
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself as you followed Jeonghan into the building. He walked ahead of you like he always did, tall and unbothered, but you didn't miss the way his sharp gaze flicked briefly toward the gossipers. He could stop this. He probably wanted to. But you weren't going to let him. This was yours to handle.
You stopped in your tracks, giving Jeonghan's sleeve a subtle tug. He paused, glancing back at you. "I've got this," you murmured, a sly smile tugging at your lips.
Turning toward the group, you walked over with a calm, measured confidence that instantly silenced them. You raised an eyebrow, your tone dripping with mock curiosity. "Oh, please. Don't stop on my account. You were saying?"
One of the women—bold enough to meet your eyes—crossed her arms. "We were just... wondering how someone like you manages to stick around here. Must be nice to have such... connections."
You smiled sweetly, though your eyes glinted dangerously. "Connections, huh? Interesting take. But you're right—it's been an uphill battle. Not everyone can stay in the same position for years while letting the same tired poses get approved in photoshoots. What's that phrase? Oh, right—bare minimum energy."
The color drained from her face, but you didn't stop there.
"By the way," you added, your tone light but cutting, "if you have so much free time to monitor my life, maybe I should suggest Jeonghan cut your workload. He loves people who are efficient, after all."
The woman opened her mouth to retort, but you waved her off with a laugh. "Relax. I'm joking. Maybe."
Jeonghan reappeared behind you then, his voice smooth but carrying an edge. "Is there a problem here?"
You glanced over your shoulder, flashing him a knowing smile. "Not at all. Just clearing up some... misunderstandings. Right, ladies?"
The group muttered something incoherent before scrambling back to their desks.
As you turned to walk away, Jeonghan leaned close, his breath warm against your ear. "Remind me to let you handle all my PR scandals. You're ruthless."
You smirked, shooting him a playful glare. "I told you I've got this."
And just like that, you walked back to your desk, head high, leaving the entire office wondering just how they'd underestimated you for so long.
The rest of the day passed in a strange haze of triumph and simmering tension. The office was quieter now, the usual hum of whispers replaced by nervous glances and hurried footsteps whenever you walked by. You didn't need their approval—hell, you didn't even want it—but silencing the chatter, even momentarily, gave you a sense of satisfaction.
Jeonghan, of course, was Jeonghan. He had spent the remainder of the afternoon flitting between meetings and casually dropping by your workspace, leaning against your desk like he owned the entire building (which, to be fair, wasn't entirely wrong). Each time, his eyes lingered a little too long, his smirk a little too knowing.
By the time the clock struck six, you were more than ready to head home. But as you gathered your things, Jeonghan's voice cut through the silence of the nearly empty office.
"Leaving already?"
You glanced up, finding him standing in the doorway of his office, his jacket slung casually over one shoulder. He looked as put-together as ever, but there was something in his expression that gave you pause—something unreadable.
"It's late," you replied, forcing your voice to remain steady. "I figured you'd be the first to kick me out."
Jeonghan chuckled, stepping closer until he was standing just in front of your desk. He placed a hand on the surface, leaning in slightly. "And miss the chance to give you a ride home? That doesn't sound like me."
You narrowed your eyes, already sensing the trap. "I can manage, thanks."
"Don't be stubborn," he said smoothly. "You've had a long day. Consider it a peace offering for earlier."
Earlier. As if that entire thing hadn't left you questioning every decision you'd made in the past 48 hours.
Still, there was no winning against Jeonghan when he got like this, and you were too tired to argue. With a resigned sigh, you grabbed your bag and followed him to the elevator.
The ride down was silent, save for the soft hum of the elevator music. You kept your gaze fixed on the floor numbers as they ticked by, trying to ignore the way Jeonghan's presence filled the small space.
It wasn't until you were in his car, the city lights blurring past the windows, that he finally broke the silence.
"You know," he began, his tone almost conversational, "you handled those gossiping idiots pretty well today."
You glanced at him, arching an eyebrow. "Were you expecting me to cry in the bathroom instead?"
He smirked. "Not exactly. But I have to admit, watching you put them in their place was... entertaining."
"I'm glad my misery is amusing to you."
"Don't twist my words." He turned to you briefly, his expression softening. "I meant it. You were impressive. People like that—they don't deserve your energy."
For a moment, you didn't know what to say. Compliments from Jeonghan were rare, and hearing him say something so genuine left you oddly unsettled.
"Thanks," you muttered, turning to look out the window.
The car fell silent again, but this time, it wasn't uncomfortable. When he finally pulled up in front of your building, you hesitated before reaching for the door handle.
"Jeonghan," you began, glancing at him, "why... why are you doing all this?"
He tilted his head, his eyes locking with yours. "Doing what?"
"This." You gestured vaguely between the two of you. "Acting like you care. Protecting me. Dragging me into... whatever the hell this is."
For a long moment, he didn't answer. Then, with a sigh, he leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair.
"Honestly?" he said, his voice quieter now. "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. But here we are."
You stared at him, searching his expression for any hint of insincerity. But all you saw was exhaustion, vulnerability, and something else you couldn't quite name.
"Goodnight, Jeonghan," you said softly, opening the door.
"Night," he replied, watching as you stepped out of the car and disappeared into the building.
Entering your apartment, you lazily set your bag down the table before falling onto your bed. Your body was aching from earlier—no, probably not just from how Jeonghan fucked you bad, but Wonwoo too, last night. You had sex in two nights streak, of course your body would ache. 
You opened your phone—though you wanted to sleep already, you still had to check on your schedule for streams tomorrow since it was sunday, you had really nothing much to do. Then you received a discord notification popped up. It was Hoshi spamming your username on one of the servers. You didn't want to open the app, you were too exhausted to even deal with Hoshi's godforsaken childishness, but you opened it anyways. 
#general ho5hi_kwon: @/kitsunya  ho5hi_kwon: Are you free tomorrow? We're gonna watch a LOL competition, Wonwoo, Jun, Minghao, and Vernon's playing. dk_is_dokyeom: Dude stop forcing her to come all the time dk_is_dokyeom: Do you like her or something 😏 ho5hi_kwon: NAH. YOU LIKED HER.  pledis_boos: We all know, Seokmin. We all know
You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. These idiots. Whenever the three were in the same room, it'd always end up being chaotic.
Then there was that. Your thoughts wandered back to those days—Seokmin's shy smile when he confessed under the cherry blossom trees, his constant efforts to make you laugh, his warm hugs when you were at your lowest. You'd loved him, in your own way, but breaking up had been your only option. Your life had been a mess back then, and dragging him down with you was something you refused to do.
You shook the memories away and glanced back at the chat. Seokmin was probably sulking already. He always did when the teasing went too far, you couldn't bear to see your high school sweetheart get involved in your mess. 
But now, he isn't the type to be teased like this. You knew he'd sulk real hard and maybe not even talk to Hoshi or Seungkwan for a couple of days.
You chatted on the server once their fighting has cooled down.
#general kitsunya: yea, sure, ill go kitsunya: send me the details ho5hi_kwon: I already sent the link. Don't dare be late.
You locked your phone and let it drop onto your bed. Why had you agreed to go? You didn't even know. Maybe it was exhaustion clouding your judgment. Maybe you just didn't want to be alone with your thoughts of Jeonghan or Wonwoo.
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The next morning, your alarm kept ringing. God knows how many times you already pressed the infamous snooze button. But then you remembered, The LoL competition was starting 12 pm. You checked the time on your phone—10:57 am. You groaned before dragging yourself from the comfort of your bed. 
You took your sweet time in the shower, glancing at the clock it was 11:32 already. Who cares if you were late. It's not like anyone would care. 
You took your time drying your hair and picking out your outfit—a simple gray cardigan layered over a black tank top, paired with baggy black cargo pants and sleek white Converse. To top it off, you slung pastel red headphones around your neck, adding a subtle pop of color. Afterward, you finished with your usual makeup routine, keeping it effortless yet polished.
One last check in front of the mirror, you grabbed your shoulder bag and your phone before Dm-ing Hoshi.
[DM] - hamster freak You: im going to be a little late  Hoshi: Thanks for the information. You're already 37 minutes late by the way, did you forget to set an alarm or something? Hoshi: Youre mean. You: dw baby, miss me already? Hoshi: ... You know what, you don't need to come after all. Hoshi: I don't want to see you You: aw stop ure making me want to go  You: ill be there to haunt you <3
You took out a small chuckle before you walked your way to the parking lot to enter your car. 
You arrived at the venue. And guess who's waiting for you outside the place? Hoshi.
"The hell? How long have you been waiting here?" You asked as you approached him.
He shrugged. "I thought you'd arrive 5 minutes ago, and I was with Jihoon, he went to grab us a few snacks."
"Wow, Woozi would really do something for you?" 
"No, he lost a game." He grinned. And you chuckled lightly.
As Woozi gets back, holding a bag of snacks with him, a frown on his face, Hoshi grabbed lollipops, handing one over to you. 
You grabbed the lollipop, popping it into your mouth. "Hey Mr. tofu," you greeted with a smile.
"Please don't call me that ever again," Woozi replied with a sigh. Your grin widened. Teasing him always seemed to be your favorite thing to do. You remember teasing him so hard on a stream once that he left the voice chat.
"It suits you," Hoshi chimed in biting on the candies. 
You offered to carry some of the bag, but Woozi didn't let you. He can't have a girl help him.
The three of you entered the venue and it didn't take long when you finally met up with the rest of the group. Jun and Minghao were so focused on their computers, playing an LoL 1v1 before the competition started. Vernon was sitting on one of the couches, talking to his girlfriend. And Wonwoo? He was nowhere to be found. Why were you even looking for him in the first place?
"If it isn't for Ms. Fox." You turned to see Seungkwan. A unamused smile crept through your lips. "Oh, it's just you." You replied, earning a chuckle from Hoshi.
"At least I'm not out looking for Wonwoo," Seungkwan replied. You scoffed—hell if that's even true (it is).
You rolled your eyes at Seungkwan's comment but didn't dignify it with a response. Instead, you plopped onto the nearest chair, leaning back as you popped the lollipop back into your mouth.
"You know," Seungkwan continued, sitting on the armrest beside you, "for someone who's 'not looking for Wonwoo,' you sure keep glancing around a lot."
"Get a hobby, Boo," you shot back, smirking at the way his face fell into mock offense.
Jun and Minghao, oblivious to the banter, were still locked in their intense 1v1, their focus unwavering. Hoshi, now sitting cross-legged on the floor, had already started opening a second lollipop, while Woozi muttered something under his breath about "children" as he sat beside him. Vernon, still on the couch, gave you a small wave before turning back to talk to his girlfriend.
You stayed there for a while, trying to relax, but the energy in the room was buzzing—both from the impending competition and your own thoughts. Wonwoo was still nowhere to be seen, and despite your best efforts to ignore it, you couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to find him.
"Be right back," you said, standing up and stretching.
"Where are you going?" Seungkwan called after you.
"To mind my business. You should try it," you quipped, earning a chorus of laughter from the others.
You wandered out of the room, letting the chatter and laughter fade behind you as you strolled through the venue. The place was massive—crowds of gamers and fans gathered around booths and screens, the excitement almost infectious. But you weren't here to browse or soak in the energy. Your feet seemed to move on their own, taking you toward a quieter hallway at the back of the venue.
That's when you saw him.
Wonwoo was leaning against a wall near an emergency exit, his face illuminated by the faint glow of his phone. He looked relaxed, but there was a tension in his posture that only you, someone who knew him well enough, could notice.
You hesitated for a moment before stepping closer. He didn't look up, but his voice reached you before you could say anything.
"Looking for me?" he asked, his tone calm but carrying that hint of amusement that always managed to throw you off.
You stopped in your tracks, crossing your arms as you leaned casually against the opposite wall. "And what if I was?" you replied, your voice dripping with nonchalance.
Wonwoo finally looked up, his gaze meeting yours. There was something unreadable in his eyes, a mix of curiosity and something deeper you couldn't quite place. "Then I'd say you've found me," he said, slipping his phone into his pocket.
Silence stretched between you, not awkward but heavy enough to make your chest feel tight. You couldn't help but let your eyes roam over him—the way his black hoodie hung loosely on his frame, the faint scruff on his jaw that somehow made him look even more attractive. Damn him.
"You disappeared," you said finally, breaking the silence.
"Needed some air," he replied, his voice low. "Didn't think anyone would come looking."
"Well," you started, pushing off the wall and stepping closer, "I wasn't exactly looking for you. Just needed a break from Seungkwan's mouth."
Wonwoo smirked, the corner of his lips curling in that infuriatingly subtle way of his. "Sure," he said, his tone laced with doubt.
You rolled your eyes, stepping past him toward the door. "Don't flatter yourself, Jeon," you tossed over your shoulder, reaching for the door handle.
But before you could pull it open, his hand shot out, grabbing your wrist gently but firmly. The contact sent a jolt through you, and you froze, turning to look at him.
"Stay," he said softly, his eyes searching yours.
You hesitated, the weight of his gaze pinning you in place. His hand was warm against your wrist, and for a moment, the world outside the room ceased to exist. It was just you and him, caught in a moment that felt far too intimate for two people who supposedly had nothing unresolved between them. Supposedly.
"Why?" you asked, your voice softer than you intended, almost a whisper.
Wonwoo's thumb brushed against your skin absentmindedly, and he looked away for a second, as if gathering his thoughts. "Because I don't want to be alone right now," he admitted, the honesty in his tone catching you off guard.
Your heart clenched, and for reasons you couldn't explain, you stayed. You let the door close and leaned back against it, crossing your arms as you tried to regain some semblance of control over the situation. "Fine," you said casually, though your pulse betrayed you by racing like you'd just run a marathon. "But you're buying me dinner after this."
He huffed out a quiet laugh, his usual stoicism cracking just a little. "Deal."
The two of you stood there for a while, the silence settling again but this time less suffocating, more like a fragile truce. Wonwoo leaned back against the wall, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, and you couldn't help but notice how the dim light softened his features, making him look almost vulnerable.
"You know," you said finally, breaking the quiet, "you're not exactly the easiest person to read."
"Good," he replied without missing a beat. "Keeps things interesting."
You let out a dry laugh. "For who? You? Because everyone else just ends up confused."
Wonwoo's lips twitched into another smirk, but his eyes stayed serious as they locked onto yours. "Not everyone. You're not as confused as you think."
Your breath hitched, and you hated how easily he got under your skin, how he always seemed to know just the right thing to say to leave you teetering on the edge of something you weren't ready to name.
"Maybe I'm just good at pretending," you shot back, narrowing your eyes slightly.
He pushed off the wall and took a step closer, closing the already small space between you. You had nowhere to go, your back pressed against the door, and the air felt heavier with each passing second. His presence was overwhelming, but you refused to back down.
"Maybe," he said quietly, his face just inches from yours now. "But I don't think you're pretending right now."
Before you could respond, his hand came up to brush a strand of hair from your face, the gesture so unexpected and gentle it made your chest tighten all over again. His fingers lingered for a moment, grazing your cheek, and you hated the way your body reacted to his touch, how your resolve seemed to melt under his intense gaze.
"Wonwoo," you began, your voice wavering.
"Tell me to stop," he murmured, his voice so low it sent shivers down your spine.
You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but no words came. Instead, you found yourself leaning into him, the tension snapping as his lips captured yours in a kiss that was equal parts soft and demanding.
It was nothing like the heated night you two shared before. There was no hurried desperation, no reckless abandon. This was slower, deeper, as if he was trying to say all the things he couldn't put into words. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer, and you didn't resist. Couldn't resist.
When you finally pulled back, breathless and slightly dazed, he rested his forehead against yours, his hands still holding you in place.
"Still pretending?" he asked, his voice tinged with a rare vulnerability.
You didn't answer. Instead, you closed the gap between you again, kissing him like you were trying to drown out all the questions swirling in your mind. For now, answers could wait.
The kiss deepened, your arms wrapped around his neck, his hand gripping your waist while the other cradled the back of your head, pulling you closer as his tongue teased yours.
It was just yesterday when Jeonghan had you shivering under him. And now here you were, entangled with Wonwoo, kissing him like nothing had happened with Jeonghan. It felt wrong. But then again... was there anything to feel wrong about? Did you and Jeonghan even have a thing? Did this—whatever this was—mean anything? 
Two men? Really? Neither of them knows you've been fucking with them alternatively like they're just some kind of toy for you. You didn't want that at all.
YYou pulled away, your breath hitching as your cheeks flushed hot. Wonwoo's dark gaze lingered on you, searching your face as though he could see the questions swirling in your mind.
 "What exactly is this..?" you asked, your voice a little more unsteady than you'd hoped.
Wonwoo hesitated, leaning back slightly. His arms caged you against the door, the space between you just wide enough for the tension to thrum. "What do you want it to be?" 
He didn't answer at all, it only made you even more confused. "I asked first." 
"Then I won't answer. So tell me," he said, his voice steady but edged with something you couldn't quite place. "What exactly do you want this to be?"
The question made your breath catch. It was as though he already knew the answer but wanted you to say it first. "I wouldn't have asked if I knew," you murmured, more to yourself than him.
Wonwoo exhaled sharply through his nose, his lips curling into a faint smirk. "Then figure it out." He stepped back slightly, his posture relaxing as he leaned against the wall, pulling his phone from his pocket. "You're lying again." He added before turning away completely.
It felt like a dismissal, one that stung more than it should have.
"I'm leaving," you said, your tone sharper than intended as you moved toward the door.
But his voice stopped you in your tracks.
"You're not even gonna wish me good luck?" he called out, his tone light, teasing, almost mockingly casual.
You glanced back at him, narrowing your eyes. "I came to see you lose," you shot back, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. "And for the record, I'm not your girlfriend."
You stuck your tongue out for good measure before turning on your heel and walking away quickly, leaving no room for him to reply.
Wonwoo watched you disappear, his expression unreadable. But as the door clicked shut behind you, he let out a low chuckle.
"... Yet," he murmured under his breath, a small, knowing smile playing on his lips. You said what you said, and you knew it would trigger him to admitting first.
By the time you made it back to the group, Seungkwan was mid-rant, Hoshi laughing so hard he nearly dropped his soda. Jun and Minghao had moved on from their 1v1 and were watching the pre-match highlights on the screen. Vernon was still on the couch, this time half-listening to Seungkwan while scrolling on his phone.
"Oh, look who finally decided to show up," Seungkwan said the moment he spotted you, his voice dripping with mock sarcasm. "Where've you been, Ms. Fox? Lurking in the shadows, plotting our downfall?"
You rolled your eyes, plopping down onto the chair next to Hoshi. "I don't need to lurk in shadows to take you down, Seungkwan. Your mouth does that for me."
The group burst into laughter, Hoshi nearly choking on his drink. "She's got a point," Minghao quipped, smirking.
"Wow, so much for team spirit," Seungkwan shot back, clutching his chest dramatically. "What did I ever do to deserve such cruelty?"
"You existed," you replied with a smirk, earning a high-five from Hoshi.
The banter continued for a while, light and easy, until the sound of a door clicking open made everyone pause.
Wonwoo walked in.
He moved with his usual calm, unbothered demeanor, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. His gaze swept across the room, landing on you for just a moment longer than necessary.
"Ah, here he is, the man of the hour!" Hoshi cheered, throwing a potato chip in Wonwoo's direction. "Ready to crush some noobs?"
Wonwoo ignored him, his lips twitching in a small smile as he walked over to where you sat. Leaning down slightly, he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear, "Miss me already?"
Your breath hitched, but you quickly masked it with a scoff. "You wish."
His smirk deepened, and before you could say anything else, he pulled up a chair beside you, his knee brushing yours under the table.
The others, oblivious to the tension, resumed their chatter, but you couldn't shake the way his proximity sent your nerves into overdrive.
"You good?" Hoshi asked, tilting his head at you.
"Perfect," you said, forcing a smile.
But then Wonwoo spoke again, this time louder. "You know," he began, his tone casual but his eyes locked on yours, "she was pretty sweet earlier. Didn't think she'd have it in her."
The room went quiet, all eyes snapping to you.
"Sweet?" Seungkwan repeated, narrowing his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
You glared at Wonwoo, your face heating up. "He's delusional. Ignore him."
"Am I?" Wonwoo teased, leaning back in his chair with a smug expression.
Before you could retort, Hoshi interjected. "Hold on. Are we missing something here? Why does it feel like there's... something going on?"
"There's nothing going on," you said quickly, shooting a warning glare at Wonwoo.
Wonwoo raised his hands in mock surrender, but the glint in his eyes told you he wasn't done. For the rest of the conversation, he kept it subtle—fleeting glances, the occasional brush of his hand against yours, a smirk every time your eyes met. It was enough to drive you insane.
The others weren't blind. Seungkwan, especially, was watching the two of you like a hawk. "Something's definitely up," he muttered to Vernon, who just nodded, looking mildly amused.
And then the door opened again.
Jeonghan strolled in, effortlessly commanding the room as always. He greeted everyone with his usual charm, but when his eyes landed on you, something flickered in his expression.
"Ah, there's my favorite," Jeonghan said smoothly, his voice laced with a warmth that felt far too intimate for comfort.
You stiffened, your eyes darting to Wonwoo, whose jaw tightened ever so slightly.
"Late as usual," Jeonghan added, walking over and placing a hand on the back of your chair. His fingers brushed lightly against your shoulder, and you could feel the weight of his gaze.
"Traffic," you replied, your voice steady despite the way your heart was racing.
"Mm," Jeonghan hummed, his eyes lingering on you before shifting to Wonwoo. "Good luck today, Wonwoo. I'm sure she'll be cheering for you."
The tension was palpable. Wonwoo's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't rise to the bait.
"Of course," Wonwoo said, his voice calm but edged with something sharper. "She's already wished me luck in her own... special way."
Jeonghan's smile didn't falter, but his gaze grew sharper as it flicked back to you. "Is that so?"
You wanted to crawl under the table.
"Alright, that's enough," you said, standing abruptly. "I'm going to grab some air before this testosterone overload suffocates me."
You left the room quickly, feeling both men's eyes on you as you went. 
The cold air outside the venue did little to clear your spinning thoughts. Leaning against the wall, you tilted your head back and took a deep breath. What the hell is wrong with me? First Wonwoo, now Jeonghan. The back-and-forth between them felt like a game you couldn't keep up with, and it was messing with your head.
Your moment of peace didn't last long. The sound of a door swinging open made you flinch. You didn't even need to look to know who it was.
"Running away again?" Jeonghan's smooth voice cut through the silence.
You sighed, keeping your gaze fixed on the sky. "Didn't know I had to explain my every move to you."
He chuckled, stepping closer until he was leaning against the wall beside you. "You don't. But it's fun watching you squirm."
You turned to glare at him, but the amusement in his eyes made it impossible to stay mad. He had that effect on people—disarming them with a single glance, making them forget why they were upset in the first place.
"Seriously, what do you want, Jeonghan?" you asked, crossing your arms.
"Just checking on you," he said, his tone casual but his eyes searching yours. "You seemed... tense back there."
"I'm fine."
"Are you?" He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. "Because from where I was standing, it looked like a certain someone was getting under your skin."
Your cheeks heated, and you immediately looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully, straightening up. "If you say so. Just remember..." He hesitated, a rare moment of seriousness flashing across his face. "Not everyone plays fair."
Before you could ask what he meant, the door opened again, and this time, it was Wonwoo.
His gaze flicked between the two of you, his expression unreadable. "We're starting soon," he said, his voice steady but his eyes locked on Jeonghan's hand resting casually on the wall near your shoulder.
Jeonghan smiled, stepping back with an exaggerated stretch. "Guess I'll see you both inside, then."
He walked off, leaving you alone with Wonwoo. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife.
"You good?" Wonwoo asked after a beat.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" you muttered, brushing past him to head back inside.
The room was buzzing with excitement as the matches began. You found a seat near the back with Hoshi and Seungkwan, who were both yelling their predictions over each other.
"10,000 won (seven bucks in USD) says Minghao takes the win," Seungkwan declared, stuffing popcorn into his mouth.
"Please, it's going to be Wonwoo," Hoshi shot back.
"Don't bet your snacks. You'll lose," you said dryly, earning a laugh from Hoshi.
The first round was a chaotic storm of champions clashing across the map. Jun, known for his unconventional picks, played an unexpectedly aggressive strategy, diving into enemy territory with bold moves that had the crowd roaring in surprise. Despite his daring plays, his occasional overextensions cost him valuable objectives.
Vernon, on the other hand, played a game of precision. He focused on controlling vision and sneaking objectives, his calculated decisions earning him steady ground. Every play felt like a chess move, deliberate and cerebral.
But it was Minghao who stole the spotlight early on. His champion of choice, a mechanically complex assassin, zipped across the map with unnerving efficiency. His precision in landing skills and uncanny sense of timing had even the commentators struggling to keep up.
"Unreal!" one of them exclaimed as Minghao pulled off a near-impossible triple kill under turret. "Minghao is playing like a pro today. That's a highlight reel moment right there!"
Then there was Wonwoo. His gameplay was as smooth and methodical as ever, every move calculated to perfection. His champion, a versatile mage, danced on the edge of danger, dishing out massive damage while dodging death by a hair's breadth. The way he controlled team fights, predicting his opponents' moves, was mesmerizing.
Yet, from your spot in the audience, something felt... off.
The tournament narrowed to the final rounds, the competition growing fiercer with each game. Minghao, Wonwoo, and Hyeina (Vernon's girlfriend), the other contestant dominated her brackets, while Jun and Vernon made valiant efforts but fell behind.
In the semifinals, Minghao and Wonwoo clashed head-on. Every moment was charged, the room so quiet during team fights that you could hear the players' keyboards clicking like gunfire.
Minghao's assassin darted through the shadows, targeting Wonwoo's backline with surgical precision. But Wonwoo's mage held its ground, zoning Minghao out with well-placed spells. The two traded kills and counterplays, the audience bouncing between gasps and cheers as the scoreboard evened out.
At one point, Minghao narrowly escaped a death trap Wonwoo had meticulously set, slipping away with a sliver of health. The crowd erupted in disbelief, and even Minghao, usually composed, let a small grin slip as he glanced across the row of PCs toward Wonwoo.
"Nice try," Minghao teased, loud enough for Wonwoo to hear but quiet enough not to catch the commentators' attention.
Wonwoo didn't respond, his jaw clenched and eyes fixed on the screen.
The Final Match
The finals arrived. The match pitted Minghao, Wonwoo, and Hyeina against one another in a free-for-all deathmatch—a battle royale to crown the victor.
The atmosphere was electric. Spectators leaned forward in their seats, their excitement palpable.
As the game unfolded, it became clear this wasn't just about skill. It was about mental fortitude. Minghao's assassin thrived in the chaos, darting in and out of fights with deadly precision. The pro player focused on controlling the map, securing key objectives to maintain his lead.
Wonwoo, however, was visibly different. While his plays were sharp, there was a hesitation in his movements. It was subtle, but you noticed it.
And then it happened.
In the middle of a crucial team fight near Baron, Wonwoo's mage was in the perfect position to deal a devastating combo. His team was counting on him. The enemy champions grouped together, a rare opening for a game-changing attack.
But his eyes flickered—just for a second—to the audience. To you.
More specifically, to Jeonghan.
You hadn't noticed until now, but Jeonghan's arm rested casually on the back of your chair, his body angled just slightly toward yours. It wasn't overtly intimate, but it was enough to draw Wonwoo's attention.
His hand hesitated on the keyboard. That split-second pause was all it took.
Minghao, ever opportunistic, dove into the fight with precision. His assassin eliminated Wonwoo's mage in seconds, turning what could've been Wonwoo's moment of glory into a crushing defeat.
"Unbelievable! Minghao secures the ace!" the commentator shouted, the audience exploding into cheers.
As the game ended, the results flashed on the screen:
1st Place: Minghao
2nd Place: Wonwoo
3rd Place: Hyeina
4th Place: Vernon
5th Place: Jun
Minghao leaned back in his chair, arms raised in triumph as the crowd cheered his name. Jun clapped enthusiastically, shouting something about how "he taught Minghao everything he knows."
Wonwoo, meanwhile, sat frozen at his station, his fingers still hovering over the keys. His jaw tightened as he stared at the screen, the weight of his loss sinking in.
After the tournament, the group gathered near the exit, congratulating Minghao on his win.
"You were insane out there!" Hoshi exclaimed, clapping Minghao on the back.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Seungkwan said, waving him off. "The real story here is what happened to Wonwoo? You totally choked in that last fight."
"I didn't choke," Wonwoo said, his tone sharper than usual.
"Sure," Seungkwan teased. "It's not like you were distracted or anything." His eyes darted to you, a sly grin spreading across his face.
You glared at him. "Don't start."
"Don't start what? I didn't say anything!"
Wonwoo, who had been silent, finally spoke up. "Let it go, Seungkwan." His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it that made everyone shut up.
The awkward silence that followed was broken by Jeonghan's arrival. He walked in with his usual confidence, his eyes briefly meeting Wonwoo's before landing on you.
"Ready to head out?" Jeonghan asked, his tone light but pointed.
You hesitated, glancing at Wonwoo, whose expression was unreadable.
"Yeah," you said finally, grabbing your bag. "Let's go."
As you walked out with Jeonghan, you couldn't shake the feeling of Wonwoo's eyes on your back.
The walk back with Jeonghan is heavier than you anticipated. He doesn't outright tease you like he usually does—instead, his tone shifts to something uncharacteristically serious as he brings up Wonwoo's reaction during the match.
"You know," Jeonghan starts, his hands stuffed casually into his pockets, "he's never been that distracted before. I almost feel bad for him."
"Feel bad?" you scoff, trying to ignore the pang of guilt his words stir in you.
Jeonghan stops walking, turning to face you. "I get it, though. You're... hard to ignore." His gaze softens, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe.
"Jeonghan..."
He steps closer, closing the space between you. His voice lowers, intimate, almost a whisper. "I'm not like him. I don't get distracted. When I want something, I take it."
Before you can process his words, his phone buzzes. He glances at the screen and smirks. "Saved by the bell. Let's get back to the others before they start a search party."
The moment passes, leaving you reeling as you follow him back inside.
The group gathered after the tournament, energy high from the event. Seungkwan and Hoshi were relentless, teasing Wonwoo about his second-place finish.
"Come on, man," Seungkwan said, grinning. "Second place isn't that bad. It's just, you know... not first."
Hoshi chimed in, "And hey, at least you didn't lose to Vernon's girlfriend! Minghao's cool with it too. That's gotta count for something."
Wonwoo forced a smile, but his usual sharp comebacks were absent. His eyes flickered to you once, twice, before he finally stood and excused himself.
Minghao, ever observant, leaned toward you. "You okay?"
You nodded quickly, brushing it off. But as your gaze followed Wonwoo's retreating figure, you couldn't shake the sinking feeling in your chest.
"Minghao, the champion," Vernon announced dramatically, using his phone to film the moment. "First place for only the second-best LoL player in the room!"
Minghao rolled his eyes, pushing Vernon off. "Shut up, Vernon. You're just mad because you got fourth."
"Hey, fourth is still a medal," Vernon protested, holding up an imaginary gold medal and waving it in Minghao's face. "You know what they say, bronze is for champions too!"
"Fifth, Vernon. Fifth." Jun deadpanned, smacking Vernon on the back of the head. "Don't act like you didn't lose to your girlfriend."
"Not the point, Jun." Vernon sighed dramatically, turning to Woozi for backup, but Woozi, who'd been too busy sinking into his chair post-tournament, just shrugged. "Maybe next time, Vernon."
Meanwhile, Wonwoo, still nursing his second-place loss, had moved to the back of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes flickered from his phone to you and back again, each glance slightly more pained than the last.
Seungkwan, sensing the tension, tried to lighten the mood. "Hey, Wonwoo! Don't be too upset about second place. At least you didn't lose to a noob."
"I didn't lose to a noob," Wonwoo muttered, glancing up at Seungkwan. "Minghao's practically a legend in his own right. It's just..."
"Just what?" Seungkwan grinned mischievously, nudging him. "You distracted by someone else on the sidelines?"
Wonwoo froze, his eyes widening for a split second before he forced a grin. "What are you talking about?" he said, pushing away from the wall to join the others, a little too quickly. "I'm fine."
"You're not fooling anyone," Seungkwan shot back, arching an eyebrow. "I saw you practically zoned out when you were supposed to be taking down Minghao's assassin and then you just stared at someone—someone who happens to be sitting next to Jeonghan."
Cue the awkward silence that followed. Everyone immediately turned to look at you, then back at Wonwoo.
The heat rising to Wonwoo's cheeks was almost too funny, and you couldn't help but smirk. "I wasn't staring at anyone," he muttered, though it was obvious to everyone that he'd been thinking about something—or someone—during that match.
"Oh, please," Hoshi cut in, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's like watching a badly scripted K-drama. Wonwoo, bro, I think you might have feelings for our girl here." He wagged his eyebrows dramatically.
"Shut up, Hoshi," Wonwoo growled.
"Wow, are we really doing this now?" Minghao jumped in with an exaggerated gasp, clutching his chest. "The Love Triangle Drama: Episode 1. First place and already the star of the show!" He gave an exaggerated bow, clearly enjoying the chaos.
"You know, this tournament could've been more fun if someone didn't get all distracted by their feelings," Jun said with a wink, completely ignoring the fact that he was also in the bottom half of the rankings.
"Yeah, at least you could have gotten first if you weren't so distracted!" Vernon added helpfully. "Who needs to focus when you've got heart-eyes, right, Wonwoo?"
The entire room burst into laughter. Even Woozi, who had been trying to stay out of the conversation, snorted into his drink, making everyone laugh even harder.
Wonwoo's face turned a shade of crimson, but he could do nothing but grin sheepishly. "Okay, okay, enough. You guys are insufferable."
Just when the teasing reached its peak, the door to the room opened, and Jeonghan casually strolled in, a smug smile plastered on his face.
“Well, well, well,” he said in a voice laced with mischief, taking in the scene with a knowing look. “What have we here? A bunch of losers and an overly distracted second-place finisher?”
Wonwoo stiffened at the sound of Jeonghan’s voice, and you, suddenly aware of the charged atmosphere between the three of you, quickly stood up, trying to play it cool.
“I’m not distracted,” Wonwoo muttered under his breath, but Jeonghan was already looking at you with a knowing glint in his eye.
“Oh? You sure about that?” Jeonghan teased, eyes flicking between you and Wonwoo. “I mean, I was just sitting next to her, and someone over there couldn’t even finish a team fight without—” Jeonghan paused, throwing a glance at Wonwoo’s flushed face. “...well, we all saw it.”
Wonwoo’s face fell, the teasing from his friends now blending with the tension in the room. But before anyone could comment further, Jeonghan stepped toward you, wrapping a lazy arm around your shoulders in a move that was way too casual for the situation.
“I don’t know what all this fuss is about,” Jeonghan said, his voice smooth, his smirk never leaving his lips. “But if anyone should be distracted, it’s because I’m here now.”
Wonwoo’s gaze darkened, and you could feel the heat building in the air. The laughter from the others died down as everyone realized the shift in the mood.
“You’re really doing this, Jeonghan?” Wonwoo muttered, not bothering to mask the irritation in his tone.
Jeonghan just laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “What? Am I not allowed to stand next to my favorite teammate?”
The teasing in the room became suffocating, but the mix of humor and tension was what made it unbearable. Everyone knew what was happening. It was clear, and no one was pretending anymore.
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a/n: i have nothing to say but to thank you to everyone who kept me going. want to be added to the permanent series (part-time lover) taglist? reblog or comment on the post and you'll be added to every next update of a chapter :]
(p.s. idk maybe i shouldnt have added too much angst? BTW POSTING A POLL (or shouldnt? doesnt matter)—majority wins. Jeonghan or Wonwoo? who do you much prefer to be the end game? lmk !)
taglist: @asyre @choppedballoondetective @kpoppiesofinternet @syluslittlecrow @minhui896
@october-saturn @kpop-will-kill-me @elegantdevill1 @shidily @angel-ishere
@lovrchl @codeinebelle @httpnamu-u @httpnamjoonie94 @6nadia9
@jjonghaniee @ateez-atiny380 @squishysquishjimin @jeonghaniya @thelost-soul
@foulcolorclodoaf-blog @133456789000000000000
(tysm for reblogging :3)
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tinietaehyun · 7 months ago
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Bliss of Time
[WhiteRabbit!Soobin x Lost!Reader] [Wondrous Tales] [One-shot Series]
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Pairing: WhiteRabbit!Soobin x Lost!Reader
Genres: fantasy, angst, romance, fluff, dark fantasy, alice in wonderland inspired.
Contains: profanity, mentions of beheading, punishment, implications of death, angsty themes, panic attacks, hallucinations, anxiety.
Links: Masterlist | Wondrous Tales Masterlist
Summary: With your abrupt arrival into this whimsical space, you wander around aimlessly. How odd, every turn you took, you ended up in the same spot.
Though as they say, third time’s the charm, when you encounter a blonde haired man, with a top hat and formal attire - goodness, were you going insane already?
The man gives you a gentle smile, walking towards you with his hand outstretched, “Goodness it’s been awhile since we’ve had any guests,” he observes you, “A pretty one no less.” That‘s it, you were definitely going insane.
He brings your hand to his lips with a soft gaze, “You must be so frazzled, guests always are. Well it’s my pleasure to be your guide. Now, come on, chop, chop, time’s ticking.” With a swift tug, you’re getting pulled along by this strangely tall man. What had you gotten yourself into?
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Horrendous neon petals, purple stems and red bushes, multicoloured trees. Where on earth were you? Grotesque purple vines everywhere and a cobbled path that you had fallen upon, probably bruising the hell out of your knees.
Brushing yourself off, you stand up taking in your whimsical and wacky surroundings. The air smelled sweet and everything was disgustingly bright here. You yelp seeing a duck and her orange spotted ducklings waddle behind her.
This had to be some sort of dream, right? You picked up an invitation, opened up the envelope and poof! You were here. Yeah, this definitely had to be a dream. You pinch your arm and hiss in pain, no, no, you could feel pain. Perhaps this was just a really realistic dream?
Panic sets into your mind and you peer around lost. Where did you even come from? The sky? You remember falling, but there’s no portal, door or well, anything in the sky from where you supposedly fell. Your gaze drifts to a pitifully old, broken sign with faded letters: ‘Welcome to Wonderland.’
Great, just great. How lovely. You scramble around in your pockets to attempt to get your phone but to no avail. What the fuck? Where did your phone, keys, and whatever else you had on you go? No, no, no. You were well and truly trapped here with not even a way to call for help!
You groan dragging a hand down your stressed face, “Oh I’m fucked,” you shakily murmur, “This is bad, so, so bad.”
Building up some semblance of resilience and determination you begin following the path. Standing around wallowing in distress would get you nowhere, that’s for sure! Thus, you begin trekking down the bumpy path taking in your wild surroundings and hoping for the best.
After what seems like a few minutes, you spot the same neon yellow flower. Your brows furrow, maybe it was just another one of the same species. Yeah. No, wait- that tree with the broken branch, you swore you had passed that before. You look around and see the same broken sign.
“The fuck…?” You question wide-eyed, bamboozled by your circumstances. Did you just walk in one big circle? But the path seemed relatively straight? You didn’t take any turns? Huh? Confusion laces your features and you shake your head to get some bearings.
You walk down the path again, this time making note of key features, making sure you didn’t walk off the path at any point. Your jaw drops ajar seeing the same welcome sign. You were back to the beginning.
Your head pounds and your legs begin to ache. No, no, how long would you have to walk like this? Why was there no sense of direction? Was this your incapability or did this space have mischievous properties preventing you from leaving this spot? Dread fills your soul. A shaky breath escapes you, this was awful.
Would you rot here unable to escape this perpetually horrendous loop?
Shaking your head, you walk down the path. One more time. Maybe you just have to keep trying! Maybe there would be something different at least once, right? So, once again, you march down the path-
Only to be met with the same spot again. A frustrated scream escapes you, “No, no, no!”
Panic, disorientation and fatigue begin to plague your senses. This was the third time. How many more times would you have to walk this god forsaken path? Or were you just destined to never break free? Was this hell? Did you die? You’d go insane here!
The crunch of leaf litter alerts you and you peer around with your heart racing. What was that? Your body tenses and your breath hitches as tall, pale man with blonde locks and an absurdly tall top hat with two white ears embroidered on it as he pushes through the foliage.
You observe the male cautiously, gazing at his formal attire consisting of a baby blue satin shirt and various buckles, a waistcoat and sleek trousers and boots. His face however…was the picture of beauty in this wacky wasteland. So much so it almost causes you whiplash.
Maybe you did die, and this was an angel? His pouty lips, sharp, narrow nose and pale grey eyes. He looked beautiful. Oh, most definitely you must be going insane. Look at you, already hallucinating a stunning man!
The man gives you a gentle smile, walking towards you with his gloved hand outstretched. “Goodness it’s been awhile since we’ve had any guests,” he observes you taking in your face and form, “And a pretty one, no less.” You almost keel over on the spot.
Was this some perverse fantasy your brain thought of? Did you get drugged perhaps?
He clicks his tongue with a humourous hum, “Ah, ah, I see your brain gears turning, no need to overthink,” he pouts cooing, “You must be so confused right now,” he peers at his pocket watch, “I did run late after all! I do sincerely apologise, you can’t get out of the loop without my guidance after all!”
Your expression becomes deadpan. Of course you fucking can’t because that just makes sense, doesn’t it? He rambles softly, “Oh, I’ve been having such a busy day, running around here and there, you couldn’t imagine it! The King’s meeting overran as well because he couldn’t choose what to wear, goodness me-“
You cut in frankly, “Uhm, hey, Mr…?” You drawl awkwardly. “Call me Soobin, also known more commonly as the White Rabbit, the timekeeper. I do apologise, it’s utterly rude to not introduce myself. And you are?”
“Right…” you murmur, “Y/n. My name’s Y/n.” Soobin hums taking your hand and bringing it up to his lips, “Wonderful name. We’ve never ever had a Y/n visit Wonderland before. You must be so frazzled, guests always are. Well, it’s my pleasure to be your guide. Now, come on, chop, chop, time’s ticking.”
With a swift tug, you’re getting pulled along by this strange man. What had you gotten yourself into?
“I already walked this path,” you stammer trying to keep up with his long legs making quick strides. He seemed to be in a hurry. Soobin peers over his shoulder with a smile, “Oh, I’m well aware, lovely.” You quirk confused, “So…why are we walking down this route again?”
He chuckles, “Ah, well for those who don’t live here, the illusions here can be quite difficult to surpass.”
You sigh. You know what, if you want your sanity intact, you decide it’s best not to question it any further. “Right, makes sense,” you mutter. Soobin muses, “It does now, does it? It’s not supposed to, or are you used to walking in never ending loops?”
Rolling your eyes, you hum, “Not particularly, no. It seems you are, though.” He is delighted by your sarcastic remark, “You’ve got a little spunk, I like that. You’ll need some wit and resilience to make it here, after all. Wonderland isn’t for the weak minded.”
You grimace, “Good to know…” You glance down at his hand wrapped around yours. “Uh, Soobin, where exactly are you taking me?” You question unsurely.
“Well, there’s only one destination according to the King of Hearts rules! That’s his palace! All guests must be brought to the palace.” He hums. “King of Hearts? Is he the ruler of Wonderland?” You inquire. Soobin nods, “Indeed he is, it’s rather unfortunate.”
“Unfortunate? Why?” You question. Soobin grimaces, “Well, he’s…rather impulsive. Cruel, even. Often most people don’t make it out of her grasp, he’ll execute them if he grows bored.” You rip your hand out of his grasp with a bewildered expression, “Then why on earth would you take me there?”
Soobin gives you almost a pitiful smile, “It’s my duty to escort all guests to the King. It’s been years since our last guest, I believe you’ll be paraded rather highly.”
You shake your head and exclaim, “No, no, this King of Hearts seems terrible! Do you work for him? How many people have you led to their demise?”
Soobin’s eyes flicker with an unknown emotion, “Come now, lovely. Don’t make this difficult, I’m on a schedule here. Time’s ticking.”
You snap, “What schedule; as if anything in this shitshow of a world has a schedule!” Soobin flinches at your tone and he sighs in frustration, “It’s inevitable I suppose, you are right. I am destined to be late.”
You regard him with a blank expression. What does that even mean? Soobin chuckles at your lost expression, “No matter how much I follow my pocket watch, I’m always late. I have to thank the Hatter for that.”
“You’re throwing a lot of nonsensical words at me, Soobin,” you quip with confusion. Soobin’s fingers trail the rim of his hat, “I do apologise, it must be a lot. You’re the most stable guest I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, if that makes you feel any better.”
He’s apologising again? You almost feel an ounce of guilt for snapping at him. His eyes glimmer, peering into yours and you can’t help but feel a little bad. Perhaps, he was forced to play this twisted game of leading all those who appear here to what appears to be at most certain doom at the hands of the King of Hearts.
You dryly murmur, “Not really, but I appreciate the effort.” Soobin smiles, “So should we get moving?”
You deadpan, “Towards my death? Absolutely not. I’m awfully boring, you know.” Soobin folds his arms, peering at you, “You seem pretty entertaining now, lovely.” He was so damn pretty you might have almost believed him.
Snorting, you respond, “No, no. I doubt I’d take the King’s interest more than two minutes and oops! Off I go! Getting shot or hanged! Or whatever deranged punishment this world has.”
Soobin corrects you, “He prefers the guillotine, something about how satisfying a clean chop is.” You feel nauseous, “How? How is that meant to make me follow you?” Soobin mumbles, “I do suppose that is rather grotesque.”
You yell, “It’s more than grotesque! It’s fucking absurd! Slaughtering the pitiful souls like myself who have the unfortunate plight of stumbling into this place only to be executed because what? Because your ruler was fucking bored?”
A silence resounds loudly between the two of you as he gazes at you with mixed emotions painting his face. “We should really get going.” Your shoulders droop into a slouch, “Even after all that, you’re more concerned with your fucking schedule?”
A bitter laugh your lips, as you place a hand on your forehead, “God, I’m doomed here. With a guide who has no empathy.”
“I-I do, it’s just- the rules,” Soobin mumbles. You yelp, “Break them! Don’t you feel guilty at all, leading so many souls to their demise?” Your voice holds conviction and an impassioned tone that seems to stir something within Soobin.
“How can you be so complicit?” Your brows furrow, “Don’t you feel even an ounce of guilt? Of remorse, knowing what you’re leading them too? Do you even tell them where you’re taking them? That’s even more morbid!”
Soobin stands there hands behind his back, clasped together. His thoughts in a whirlwind mess; perhaps he shouldn’t have rambled. He never really did know how to contain his thoughts.
“You never know? You could be different? The King may come to like you?” He attempts to soothe your panicked rage. “If I’m not? How many people have you said that line to?” You shakily breathe out.
Silence is what you receive and you peer away wrapping your arms around yourself. Typical. Not one good justification.
Sweat drips down Soobin’s brow. He’d be late. He’d be late. His foot taps against the cobblestone and his heart races, fingers twitching and palms clammy. He’d be late. He had a schedule. His eyes almost seem manic. Guests weren’t usually this aware, this obstinate or stubborn.
Why did your silly words make so much sense in this nonsensical world? He was just doing his job right? He had to. That was his role. Ever since time was killed, he had struggled to keep up any time at all! It was so stressful and now that you were here, it would add to his insurmountable stress of getting you to the King on time before anyone else caught wind of your presence.
You observe Soobin, he seemed panicky. Nervous, anxious and overwhelmed. His pupils had shrunk and a manic expression on his face making you feel uneasy. “Soobin?”
“W-We really should keep m-moving?” He almost asks, as though it’s a question instead of a statement. You glare, “It’s like talking to a wall.” He stammers, “Lovely, I-I- I understand. I- I do.”
“You don’t. Don’t you want to break this cycle? I can see it. You don’t enjoy this. You don’t enjoy this pressure of whatever it is you do,” you plead. A sudden laugh escapes his lips, “Sorry, sorry. I’m just nervous. I laugh when I’m nervous.” Another chortle escapes his lips.
“You don’t need to apologise for everything.” You murmur awkwardly; perhaps he wasn’t as sane as he appears. He lets out another giggle, “L-Lets move, I don’t like standing around. Standing around means doing nothing. Doing n-nothing means no productivity. How c-can anything get done?”
An awful sense of dread fills you and you peer behind you, everything looks the same. You knew without Soobin, navigating Wonderland would be perilous and frankly for naught. Perhaps, you needed to take your chances with the King. Or…you could find a perfect chance to escape as you journey further. Yes, yes, just be patient and pretend to go along with it.
Sighing, you murmur, “Keep walking then, I guess.” A defeated expression coats your face and you see a glimmer of sadness in his eyes and he takes your hand with a subtle pout, “Please don’t be sad, it pain me so to see your pretty face stained by sadness.” You mumble, “Pretty hard to look on the bright side with no way home.”
You both begin walking and he mumbles, “Lovely I, I know.” You say nothing and after awhile, the scenery morphs and you sigh seeing the dancing flowers with their waving leaves. He looks at you expectantly as if he wanted to see you be awed or amused only to be met with your lacklustre reaction. How odd, most guests he guided loved this part!
Soobin stops facing you and tilts your head up by the chin, “Lovely, are these flowers not to your liking? Look at them dancing! Their smiles!” You frown, “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He questions. He laughs, a short manic laugh. “You don’t know. That’s okay. It’s okay not to know,” he reassures with an unsure expression. He tugs you along.
You almost feel bad for the guy. A ticking time bomb you could almost see. He must be under enormous pressure, especially with a ruler like…the King of Hearts. You could sense it, he had an ounce of goodness in there, a little sense of remorse, of guilt.
“Don’t you…don’t you want to spend some time for yourself? Are you ever free?” You ask. The question makes him freeze and he bursts out laughing startling you.
“Time…for myself? Time for myself? For me? How amusing! My lovely, is that what you asked?” You blink at him blankly, “Uh…yes? Doesn’t everyone deserve time off?”
A shattered expression appears on his face and he smiles almost brokenly, “Ah, perhaps in your world but the time keeper never sleeps. Never…dilly dallies.”
Your heart aches; you wonder what this man goes through on a daily basis to behave like this. Then again, being in this place would make anyone go insane.
He releases another frantic laugh, and abruptly cover his mouth, “I- sorr- I mean. You’re not like the other guests. It’s rather strange, how funny! I thought nothing could surprise me anymore in Wonderland. Yet, here you are.”
You raise a brow, “Uh…you mean showing basic empathy?” A manic smile appears on his visage, “Not one of my guests ever cared like you have. They usually just run off and get lost and died in some grave manner or they follow along and become the King’s, I don’t ever,” he giggles quietly, “don’t ever really hear from them again.”
You frown, “Oh Soobin.” He murmurs, “C-Can we move? We should move.” You hum, “Oh right, you don’t like standing around.”
His eyes glimmer as you both walk again, “You’re so…nice. You haven’t run away despite hearing all of this. Have you been here before? Or, or, have you already succumbed to the madness here?”
You sink into your own mind, why haven’t you run off? Maybe because you knew your own rationale and logic wouldn’t do shit here. Glancing back at Soobin, the way his large hand envelopes yours, your heart flutters and aches, you…kinda felt bad. You didn’t want to leave him alone. He gives you a soft, wavering smile, his eyes guilt-ridden.
“Soobin, I-“ your voice cracks. The air between you two becoming heavy. He shakes his head, “That’s preposterous…” he frowns, “That’s impossible. Then…why are you still with me?”
Truthfully, you answer, “I don’t know, Soobin. I just feel inclined to stay, I guess. Not like I could ever navigate this place alone anyway.” Your eyes lock for a moment, a torrent of emotions wash over Soobin and he abruptly peers away. In silence, you both walk along the path. An aura of panic and regret emanates off Soobin.
After a few minutes, you spot a large meadow full of pearlescent flowers, utterly gorgeous, glistening under the sun. In awe, you point at the meadow, “Those are so stunning, Soobin. I-“
Soobin murmurs, “Moon Lillies, beautiful aren’t they?” He peers at your wide-eyed excitement. His heart aches, you were different from the others who has the misfortune to arrive here in Wonderland.
Seeds of doubt had been implanted into his mind from your impassioned speech and thoughts. Did he really have to lead you down this path to your doom? Into Yeonjun’s grasp? Could…could this time be different?
Timidly, Soobin asks, “Why don’t we go take a look?” The very notion of taking a minor detour had his hands clamming up and heart palpitating fast. Time, time, time. He had work to do. He couldn’t dilly dally.
You squeal grasping his hand in gratitude, “Oh thank you! Yes, yes!” But how could he deny your endearing expression of exhilaration and joy? Maybe just a little detour wouldn’t be an issue, then the both of you would go right back onto the path. Yes, precisely.
Momentarily, your eyes widen in surprise as he in turn envelopes his large gloved hand over yours leading you towards the thousands of flowers. You can’t help but admire the way he walks, his strong, secure hold on your hand. His angelic features, the ever so subtle crease between his brows as though he was always deep in thought.
You had a feeling this wasn’t exactly part of the plan and would only delay the inevitable. Though, you were unsure why someone as obsessed with schedules and time would take this detour merely because you fawned over these flowers.
Did your words get to him? You feel his grasp on your hand tighten and you finally reach the sea of flowers. Oh, how ethereal this place was, a stark contrast to the wacky surroundings, this place also had its moments of beauty apparently?
“Soobin, these are beautiful, I can’t believe these exist.” You fawn in excitement releasing his hand as you run through the flowers, feeling free and almost magical in a sense. Soobin observes you as you wade and spin carefree through the flowers with a soft smile trying his best to ignore his twitching fingers and shaky hands.
“Only in Wonderland,” he muses, watching you prance around with an almost childlike innocence. Something stirs within him, the urge, no, the need to protect you from the horrors deeper located in this place. From the Red King of Hearts, the Cheshire Cat, and god forbid the Hatter. No. No he couldn’t let another soul become destroyed here.
You were right. Time for himself, to indulge in such a luxury…such as now. Felt revitalising, thrilling. Soobin peers at his shaking hands. Time. Time. Would he make it on time? No, why, why did he have to make it on time? Time was killed. But, why? Why did he have to follow this terrible cycle? Because he was afraid?
A short strangled laugh escapes his lips before morphing into a manic cackle startling you. “S-Soobin?” His bizarre gaze meets yours, “Yes, yes lovely, you’re right. Time for myself. I have a choice. I…I don’t have to go through with this. Not when…not with you, lovely.”
You murmur, “Are…you okay?” He lets out a laugh, “Yes, yes, I’m just not-” a giggle slips out to which he covers his mouth, “Yes, just not used to so much free time…such indulgence.” You frown peering down at his viciously shaking hands. What had this place done to this poor man? He seemed so panicky and anxious?
You tentatively approach him and take his hands in yours, peering up at him with an awkward but comforting smile, “Breathe. Breathe with me, Soobin. Look around you, how could you not stop to ever take in the sights?” You had learnt some breathing exercises when you were younger whenever you felt overwhelmed. It should help right?
“Sights…never had time,” he murmurs deliriously peering around at the flowers surrounding you two. The glistening pollen coating your skin in a pearlescent sheen. Soobin gazes down at you with a shaky breath; your big eyes peering up through your lashes, your lips moving, telling him to breathe with such a soft voice. Your hands, petite in comparison to his. How he wished to feel your velvet skin against his, ungloved.
Another strangled laugh, “Sorry, sorry. I’m just a little panicked is all.” You’re a bit taken aback as he grips your hands back tightly. Okay, perhaps he wasn’t entirely sane, but certainly quirky. His pupils were blown out and shaky breaths tumble from his luscious lips.
“Relax, Soobin. It’s okay. Nothing will happen. Uh…you don’t even need to worry, something about time getting killed right? It’s all in your head,” you reassure. Soobin gives you a smile (perhaps a little too wide, but he was cute regardless).
“Yes…yes. Time is…dead. No matter how much I hurry, I am bound to be late. No doubt about that now that we are here in this meadow,” he shakily hums. “Yes, yes, yes,” he deliriously hums, almost delighted by the bizarre revelation you’ve provided him.
Oh, how kind you were, knocking some sense into him! He was going to be late anyway, why not spend some time with you…his new favourite guest? His….lovely. Why did the King have to always ruin things? Why couldn’t the White Rabbit indulge in himself for a while? Yes, yes, he could, couldn’t he? It’s not so absurd of thought is it?
Soobin gazes at you as you wait expectantly. Oh how adorable you were! You yelp as he suddenly draws you into a tight hug. His large frame envelopes yours; the body heat of his seeping onto your frame; you murmur awkwardly returning the hug, “Ah, thank…you? May I ask why-“
Soobin releases you with a glimmer in his eyes, “You’re too good for this world. I’d hate to see anything happen to you. I…I feel as though you do not deserve your tragic fate. You have touched me unlike any other guest I’ve led.” He leans down and your breath hitches as he gives you a sweet smile, “The others, they cannot know of you. They’ll only know if I bring you to the palace right?” A wavering laugh escapes him once more.
You gulp, he was getting rather attached rather quickly. Huh, maybe this really was your ticket out of here. Your peer up at him again, he was…rather cute. He had this now hyper quality to him, which you attributed to breaking through his usual exterior and facade. Soobin murmurs, "Look over there.” He spins you with your shoulders and points over to the distance and you spot shimmering reflections and upon closer inspection, jewels hanging off the trees? No…not quite.
His breath brushes against your neck as he murmurs, “Diamond apples.” You splutter, “What, apples?”
“Diamond, they’re even prettier close up, I’ve heard. Though I’ve not see them,” another giggle, “But now, now let’s go. We’ll run out of time otherwise.” You stammer, “Didn’t you just say there wasn’t enough-“
He tugs you behind him as he strides quickly towards the diamond apple orchard using what seems to be a large glistening lake as a placeholder for direction. “Hey- let’s not get hasty-“ you breathlessly pant trying to make your legs keep up with him.
Soobin cackles peering back at you, “Come on, lovely,” his eyes wide and smile large, “Come on, don’t you want to have fun?” The sentence almost gives you whiplash, was this the same dude you had initially stumbled upon? Were you the one going insane? Surely not. No, he was. You weren’t.
Oddly enough, it settled your heart at ease to see him finally being carefree (albeit at your expense), well, not like you had anything to do. You chuckle as he trips over his own foot and he smiles bashfully. Oh damn him…and his charm!
Now that you mention it, his golden hair that bounced with the breeze underneath his hat, looked so utterly soft. You wonder how it would feel if you… No, keep it together y/n! He takes your other hand and spins you around and you squeal, feeling the wind whip through your hair and you let out a laugh. “Now who’s the serious one?”
“Hypocrite,” you murmur panting. He grins, a small pinkish hue coating his cheeks, “Oh lovely, I know…but I cannot explain how enlightened you’ve made me feel. You must care so much for me.”
You give him a bashful smile. You suppose you could say that…more so basic empathy but you weren’t one to ruin people’s delusions. This was probably his first break that he’s ever had. Huh, how odd…
You lock eyes as he looks at you, a gaze holding such adoration. Perhaps a little too much to be comfortable. He murmurs, snapping himself out of it, “C-Come on, we’re almost there.” Another tug and you yelp, laughing as he pulls you along, “Hold on-!”
The breeze wafts through your locks as you both run through the meadow and you can’t help but grin like an idiot. Both of your clothes stained with the pearlescent pollen giving your skin a shimmering hue akin to the reflection of the moon on open water. The sweet smell becoming ever so slightly disorienting.
Soon enough, you see the sparkling water of the massive lake, glittering under the comically large sun. Beside the lake is indeed an orchard and beautifully hung diamond apples. They really did look like diamonds carved into the shape of apples with their jagged and sculpted edges. Stunning, truly.
In amazement, you walk up to one of the trees, your hands trailing over the rough bark and peering up at the apples glimmering and glittering under the sun, “They’re gorgeous, wow…” “Aren’t they just?” He fawns.
Reaching up, he picks one handing it to you. It feels a little cold to the touch but you admire it as you ask, “Does it just grow like this? Is it edible? I don’t even know how this possible.”
Soobin takes in the cute expression you make as your curiosity overwhelms you, “Yes, it does grow this way naturally, and no, it’s not edible, well,” he lets out a chuckle, “Unless you want to lose your teeth that is.”
You raise a brow, “Uh, speaking from experience or…?” He gives you a wide grin, pointing at his pearly intact teeth, “No not me, lovely. I saw another do the same foolishly, all his teeth broke.” You grimace, “Right, of course.”
He peers at you, “Anything can grow here in Wonderland. Nothing’s impossible here, well, apart from eating this.” You snort, shaking your head, “I suppose so.”
You peer back up at into the foliage and canopy of the apple tree and a particularly large one catches your eye, on a slightly higher branch. It has little crystal blossoms too, oh, how incredibly pretty!
Soobin’s gaze seems to align with yours and he hums, “Do you want it, lovely? I can pick it for you?” Your brows furrow, “You may be rather ridiculously tall, but I damn well know that’s even high for you.” He peers down at you for a moment, the gears in his head turning. He lets out a laugh and his arms outstretch, “Then, we’ll join our heights. I’ll help you up.”
Stammering you halt his hands, “It’s alright-“ He tilts his head in confusion at your hesitance and you almost melt at the instinctual pout forming on his lips. Does he even realise how cute he looks at the moment? Ah…shit. Fine.
Mumbling, you reply, “Okay, uh, alright then. Pick me up- sorry if I’m too hea-“ You squeal as his hands grip your waist hoisting you up and a chaotic giggle escapes your lips as your hands steady yourself on a branch. You hear him snickering, “I believe my arms will get sore soon, lovely. I’d hate to drop such a pretty thing due to my own incapacity.”
A warmth bursts through your cheeks at his words. Clearing your throat, you stretch your arm up, twisting the apple and plucking it with the blossoms attached to its stem. Wow, it’s even prettier close up. “You can put me down,” you suggest. You yelp as you slip in his arms and your find your back pressed against his chest and arms securely wrapped around you. The smooth timbre of his voice resounds in your ear, “My apologies, my gloves do make it hard to hold onto you for very along. Are you hurt?”
Flustered, you turn around, “N-No.” Well, maybe your heart was in tatters at this point, but other than that, no. He peers at you, your gazes locking once more. He murmurs quietly, “Oh, you get cuter by the minute.”
You scoff setting some distance between the two of you, “I- oh hush.” Soobin smiles, “It’s true? Why must you be so reluctant to accept a compliment?” You huff, “Well, you’re handsome, saying that to me is just- of course I’ll be flustered!”
You observe a familiar tinge of pink dusting his cheeks and you smirk, “Ha! There! You know how I feel now.” Clearing his throat, “L-Lets get a move on,” he grasps your hand tugging you along.
“S-Soobin where are we going?” You yelp stumbling behind him. Damn him and his long legs. “I-I don’t know. But we’ve stayed here too long.” A hint of anxiety permeates his gaze and his fingers tighten around your hand.
You look up at the sky and notice the sun hasn’t changed position. Huh, time was truly dead here. You wonder how much time has passed back in your world. Seconds? Minutes? Days? Years? You shudder not wanting to give yourself an existential crisis.
You halt your feet seeing the shore of the lake, “Soobin, let’s sit by the lake.” He freezes looking at you over his shoulder, “Is…Is that okay?” Now he truly was as timid as a rabbit, goodness he was super hyper awhile back? “Uh…why wouldn’t it be?” You question confused.
“I just…nothing bad will happen right?” He shakily murmurs, “I-I have never done this. Gone off the…the path like this,” another panicked laugh escapes him, “It’s- It’s oddly thrilling, but I’m terrified at the same time. What…what if the King finds out?”
Soobin’s eyes shake as you both walk, “My…My head…” His voice wavers and you frown, “He can only know if you bring me to him right?”
He mutters, “Yes, yes. Right? It works that way right? There’s no way he can know. I always bring the guests to him. That’s just the way it is.” He peers back at you with uneasy smile, “As long as you remain with me, he…he’ll never know.”
The words strike a chord within you, making you feel ever so slightly anxious and at unease. The King seemed to be a terrifying person. You shiver, there was no way you could go to him! Soobin was your best bet for now!
You murmur reassuringly, squeezing his hand, “Hey, hey,” you smile softly, “Breathe.” The poor blonde haired man looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. He smiles shakily, “Yes…yes, breathe, thank you, lovely.”
With a swift tug, you’re both walking towards the shore of the lake. The water laps against the sediment and you have the urge to dip your feet into the refreshing water. Hurriedly, you remove your shoes and settle down by the shore dipping your toes into the immensely cooling water.
“Ah…” you sigh, it felt good after all that walking and running. You look up at him with your hand outstretched, “Come on Soobin, lighten up. Have you tried this before?”
He observes you almost as if you were the insane one here. How ironic! Tentatively, he sits down beside you and grimaces at the feeling of the dirt against his fine fabric. For you, he thinks, he’s willing to try. His heart races with anticipation. He likes this. With you, he felt as though time itself had stopped for you both (well, it already had but that’s besides the point.)
You look over to meet his gaze and you’re once again struck by his beautiful features. He removes his top hat putting is aside and your eyes widen ever so slightly at his fluffy blonde hair. Oh…to run your fingers through it.
Embarrassed at such a thought, you redirect your gaze back to the lapping waters and glistening surface of the lake. You feel his gaze on you, you find your hands fidgeting awkwardly. In an odd and twisted sense…this almost felt like a date.
You almost might have keeled over if this happened in real life, well, this was real life but…also not. You peer back over at Soobin, you’d never met someone like him before. Well, he was clingy you suppose in his own endearing way, and clearly had some issues to resolve, but doesn’t everyone?
“You’re…” he begins before looking away, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I’m…?” You answer. “No, it’s just…” he mumbles, “…you’re so different. So…pure-hearted. Most just go against with the antics here and I…I have no choice but to lead them to the King of Hearts. But-but you…” With a bashful hum, you shrug, “No, no, you’re making me sound as though I changed your entire life. I just…I believe you needed some time off.”
In hesitation, you bite your lower lip, “I also… truthfully, I didn’t want you to take me to the King. So…I thought I could persuade you, you know? To not do that? By…taking a detour?” You wanted to be transparent, perhaps that would be a mistake, maybe he would tug you right back up and back onto the cobblestone path.
Soobin lets out a laugh, “Oh lovely, I’m aware. But who am I to stop you when we’re this far off? In fact you have enlightened me so, to the idea of going off the path, both figuratively and literally.” You let a breathy laugh, “You’re…not going to take me back to the path then?”
He muses slightly shakily, “No one has come for us, so far. This peace, I have never felt before. It’s…It’s addicting.”
His gaze pierces through you, “You’re addicting, lovely. You make me feel at ease. As though I am not slacking off, but spending meaningful time.” Okay, perhaps, he was very clingy, but you’d let it fly only because the way he looked at you made your heart perform a gymnastics routine within your ribcage and leaves you oddly breathless.
The cool water laps at your feet and you close your eyes feeling the soft breeze. A comfortable silence overlooks the two of you, sat side by side. Soobin peers at your hand on the ground and inches his fingers forward ever so slightly. You don’t let this go unnoticed as you try to keep from smiling like an idiot.
All this time, he had no problem grabbing your hand and pulling you along, but now, he was hesitating? You inch your fingers closer to his and his hand halts in surprise before you give him a small, shy smile. Your fingers intertwine over each other, enjoying the solace together. How odd, that a place as bizarre as Wonderland could be so…tranquil?
“For once I am glad that time is no longer a thing, for once, I am glad that I am destined to be late, so that I could have fortuitous opportunity to meet you,” he speaks. Your heart flutters and you murmur, “You certainly have a way with words.”
“I speak the truth, lovely, do I not?” He questions. A moment of quiet passes and he flushes as you scoot closer to him. The curve of his ears turning a subtle hue of red. “It’s…nice like this, to relax. Not have anything to worry about.”
It was a stark contrast to your busy life. Most of it spent working and socialising (much to your disinclination), it was draining. But here, you felt so…free. Unbound. Lightweight even, as though a speck of dust flowing in a beam of sunlight.
“…Do you also work…hard? What is the world you come from like? Your world must have time, it has been years since we have followed a clock. I’m the only one who does,” he brings out a golden pocket watch. It ticks and the gears churn but the hour and minute hand seem to move back and forth. How on earth does he even use that thing?
“Ah, well, yes, I do have a job. It…takes up majority of my time, unfortunately. It’s,” you breathe shakily, “It’s rough, but gotta get paid, you know?”
“Paid? You get money?” He questions and you gawk absurdly, “You…don’t?” He murmurs, “…No? It is merely my duty, as the White Rabbit, the Timekeeper,” he answers nonchalantly.
Well, you do suppose, living in this world, you’d be so insane, that money would the last of your worries. Nothing made sense here. You snort, “Right, of course. Normal rules don’t apply here, I forgot.”
Soobin inquires softly; his eyes glistening with curiosity, “Could…you tell me about your world? Your life? What’s it like?” He was so interested in you, it made your heart feel so utterly warm.
His fingers tighten their grasp atop yours, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. Soobin regards you expectantly and you begin to describe your terribly mundane life. As you do so, he pays you much attention, you don’t miss the way his eyes drop to your lips and back up to meet your gaze.
You don’t miss the way he shifts ever so slightly closer. How enamoured he seems to be with you, and oddly, how you relish in this attention, something you’ve never experienced before. “Your voice…I like hearing you talk,” he murmurs, not taking his eyes off you.
You hum, “I could say the same, your voice is nice to hear too.” It had a husk to it, but soft edge at the same time. “You, like my voice, lovely?” He quirks up at your words, eyes flickering with delight. His lips twitch in excitement.
Lovely. Oh goodness…the way he called you that, since you arrived. It just scratched your brain in all the right places. Fuck, were you becoming just as delusional? At this rate you were going to fall in love with a man you had just met!
You look back at Soobin who observes you as you have a mental debate with yourself. You can’t help but let your eyes flicker down to his utterly kissable lips. Oh, how unfair was life.
“Yes, I do…” you finally breathe out. He murmurs, a slight rasp to his voice; the tension in the air palpable, almost sweet to the taste, “Is there anything else you like?”
You hum, “About you?”
“About me,” he confirms. Since when did you get this close to him? Or did he get close to you? Your shoulders were touching, so were your thighs. Oh fuck, what was happening?
Shakily, you respond, “About…you, your hair. Your eyes…” He nods slowly his gaze travelling down from your hair, to your eyes down your face to your lips. Breathless, you resume, “Your…lips.”
Your faces were so close now, inches apart. Breaths mingling, noses brushing against each other. Oh how tempting, was this some sort of test? An illusion? You didn’t know, but something about this moment alone, made him ever so utterly irresistible.
“My…lips?” He breathes, and you nod. “I like yours too,” he breathlessly murmurs. With that, your hand cups his cheek and you lean forward pressing your lips to his. Ah well, fuck it, you’re in this deep and you doubt you could find your own way out, might as well do what you’d never normally do in the normal world, right?
Never knew, you had the capability to ensnare the White Rabbit of Wonderland. Choi Soobin. How odd indeed! Oh but the sweetness of his lips against yours was just too good, too sweet, too addictive.
Soobin’s other hand slides around your waist tugging you closer, his back hunches leaning over and tilting his head slightly giving you better access as your lips move against each other, tongues ever so slightly brushing against each other but not quite enough.
He speaks against your lips, “You’re irresistible.” You smile against his lips, “I could,” he kisses back fervently, “say, the same, ah” you breathe out pleasurably. His lips felt so soft.
Soobin felt as though he was indeed in heaven, kissing you felt more like a dream. An escape from his unshackled yet bound duties. An escape from his never ending time. Oh…how could he possibly let you go? He didn’t want you to leave, if you did…he-he’d have to wait for another guest (who would be nowhere near as perfect as you!) or in the meanwhile resume his duties for the King!
When he got this sweet taste of temptation, how could he ever go back to the way things were? Oh, no, no, no…
You release a muffled yelp of surprise as he leans forward caging your frame between his arm on the ground, his fingers still intertwined with yours and the other around your waist, as he kisses more passionately, desperately even. A groan escapes his lips; he was kissing you like a starved man, a man who was desperate. It had you feeling all sorts of ways, made your body buzz with anticipation and nervous excitement.
He breathes out, “Mm, I could spend all my time doing this,” and you let out a chuckle, “Ah, that’s quite the…suggestion there. I thought you didn’t like waiting around.” He pecks your lips, trailing the bridge of his nose along your jaw to your neck, “I don’t… but for some reason…now I don’t care, lovely.”
Both of you part, his forehead rests upon yours. This moment felt as though you were apart of a fairytale. You didn’t want it to end. He cups your face, “I find myself rather fond of you,” he smiles a little too widely, “Really fond of you.”
You shakily murmur, “I…I can tell.” Soobin murmurs, “How I wish, you could stay in Wonderland with me, there are so many more places to see. To show you. So much more we can do,” he murmurs. He parts from you keeping a hand cupped around your cheek. “Must you really return back home?” His brows furrow, “Must you really try to find the exit?”
Woah now, oh right! You were trying to get back home. That completely slipped your mind. Huh. You mumble, “Oh…right. Yeah, I- I probably should.”
Soobin pleads, “Oh lovely, but you bring me such solace and peace. Can’t you stay? We can hide away here, away from the rest? Didn’t you say you liked it here with no responsibilities and no burdens?” Oh dear, he is awfully persistent. You give him a small smile, “Soobin…you know I can’t.”
“Even…even after we kissed? Won’t you miss me?” His hands tremble and the familiar expression of panic coats his features, “H-H-How will I return back to my duties? W-What if I go insane like the Hatter? Once you leave…there’s no way you c-can even visit-“
“Hold on now, Soobin- lets calm down-“ you stammer awkwardly. You really needed him to guide you to the exit, he clearly knows where it is, if he’s speaking like this. However the trembling waver in his voice and pleading gaze twist and churn your heart in a painful manner. For some reason you felt almost a touch of guilt.
Perhaps it was the momentary euphoria, the blissful nature of everything that caused you two to bond so well, to become so…intimate, romantic even.
Did he fall for you already? Surely not, perhaps he’s just clinging onto the ideals you imparted, the way you make him feel at ease, not you, yourself. Right? Oh, but the way he’s looking at you tells you the very opposite. He wishes for your very being. You shift awkwardly peering away, “Soobin…I-“
He lets out a frantic laugh before covering his mouth, “It’s fine,” another manic laugh. “Really, I-I- understand. I…what was I thinking? That you’d wanted to stay. Wonderland is…a horrid place under this…this… whimsical facade.” He seems to be desperately muttering to himself trying his best to organise his chaotic thoughts.
“No, no, no, I can’t let the others lay their hands on you, you do not deserve such cruelty. If…If I can’t have you…then they certainly cannot.” Your heart drops to your stomach, well, that was certainly ominous. Surely, he wouldn’t be this possessive, right?
With more delirious murmuring, he abruptly stands placing his top hat back on and outstretches his hand to help you up. You peer at his cautiously, “W-Where are we going, Soobin?”
A pained look crosses his eyes, “The exit. You…you do not wish to…be here. And I do not wish to take you to the king. We are already off schedule, the path. I don’t want their f-filthy hands on you.”
You carefully take his hands and he pulls you into a hug. Your heart races; he was acting rather strange. “Come, come, chop, chop, let’s go. Time’s ticking.” Your eyes widen in as he tugs you along once more with determination. “Uh- are you sure, I mean- are you really just letting me go? I don’t know about this- Soobin- Soobin? Are you listening?” You call out.
An aura of paranoia surrounds him. Did the King already know? There’s no way. Well…there’s no way to tell if he did already know. If he did, then there would already be troops out on the hunt. He was the only one in Wonderland who knew when guests arrived. Right?
As much as it hurt him to do so, he knew he could only hide you for so long before suspicions would arise with the others. You wouldn’t last a day with the others. No, no, no. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to let you go.
Perhaps, perhaps he could find a way to visit your world instead. He’s always had been a little different from the rest of the mad bunch. He wasn’t insane, right? No, he was the normal one. He was always the normal one. That’s why you got along so well with him, well, that’s what he thinks anyway. There he was preoccupied with his thoughts again.
Yes, yes, he could attempt to visit your world. You must have had that invite with you, he could work with that. Somehow. Then you could be his safe little secret. Maybe…he could escape this hellhole for good? He would never have to serve the Hatter or King of Hearts ever again? A delusional laugh escapes Soobin’s lips as he strides along. Yes, yes, yes!
You observe him with a concerned expression, whatever internal battle he was having with himself didn’t seem to bode well for you. You wonder what he’s thinking of as he grins to himself.
As you walk along some foliage, a sudden checkered path appears and there’s a large hole in the ground, quite literally like a rabbit burrow. He stammers, “This…this is a short cut to the other side of Wonderland. It’s a bit dark but how I often move around.” You peer at the embroidered white rabbit ears on his hat. You deadpan, “…how fitting.”
“You’re not claustrophobic are you?” He asks shakily. “Uh…” you hesitate peering down into the dark hole, “Depends how narrow it can get.” “It’s okay, I’m with you,” he reassures. You grimace, “Wouldn’t that make it even more cramped?” His eyes widen, “But, but, I need to get you to the exit! I need to!”
You peer at him surprised, “Weren’t you opposed to all that before-“ Soobin clasps both your hand with a pleading gaze, “Come on, lovely, trust me. Trust me. I want you to be safe. I’m not insane like the others, I want to protect you from them.”
From who? The king? The others? Protect? Your head spins, fucking hell, there’s too much happening.
All of a sudden, the both of you are startled with a trumpet blowing and the heavy sound of armoured footsteps. You yelp clinging onto Soobin’s arm, “What the fuck is that?!” There’s no response, you look up to see how pale he’s become, “S-Soobin? Soobin? Hello? Hey!”
His lips twitch into a shaky smile, “Oh. Ah, they’ve found us. How…convenient. I thought no one else knew about you.” What the fuck was going on? Who? Your eyes widen as you tug his arm towards the hole, “Come on! Ah, I’m not claustrophobic all of a sudden! Let’s get moving!”
“It’s too late,” he sighs. You snap pulling at his arm, “The fuck you mean it’s too late?! Come on, move your feet!” He seems to be glued to his spot with fear in his eyes.
You panic as you see several armoured guards. A few holding a banners with ominous red hearts and tassles. Many hold heart shaped spears and stand in formation. A few aim heart shaped arrows at the two of you. You freeze, you were well and truly fucked. No wonder he wasn’t moving.
“Is..Is this the-“ you begin with trepidation. “The Red King of Heart’s troops, yes. Yes they are, lovely,” he answers weakly. One of the knights steps out and bellows, “The White Rabbit has been charged with treason and the dearest guest of Wonderland has been charged as an accomplice!”
You gawk enraged, accomplice? Treason! You snap, “What? We did nothing! You mean having fun is against the rules here?”
The knight ignores your protests and continues, “I hereby come on orders of the King to escort our guest as per usual ordinance since you have failed to do so White Rabbit.”
You look at Soobin who seems to remain silent gripping your hand like a vice. The knight’s eyes snap to yours, “Dearest guest, upon your arrival to the palace, you will be greeted hospitably by our ruler and also face minor punishment for your hand in deviating our timekeeper.”
You snarl, “You were watching!?” The troops flinch at your words and Soobin sighs, “It’s over, lovely. I knew I shouldn’t have deviated. I…I knew this was too good to be true. To indulge myself or to keep you safe. The moment you set foot here, there is only one path to take. After all, time is stuck here.”
You blink at him, anger rolling through you in waves, “Stop all this nonsense! Soobin! This-“ You splutter helplessly; you didn’t even know what to say to that!
“Please come with us with no retaliation or we will be forced to take more harsh measures. That pertains more to you, our dear guest.” They begin marching towards the two of you. Fuck, if you ran into the burrow, they’d shoot all the arrows.
“C-Can we not negotiate?” You stammer however your pleas ring on deaf ears. You scream as they encroach closer and Soobin’s hand never leaves yours; a defeated expression on his face, “I’m sorry, lovely. For my foolishness has gotten us here. It appears that our time, is up.”
Your eyes begin watering, “No, Soobin, no-“ The knights lunge at Soobin and pry him away and you scream piercingly grabbing his arms attempting some semblance of defiance. No, no, they couldn’t take him away from you! Fuck! You couldn’t go to the King!
You cry out, “Give him back! Please, we’ll both go! He’ll take m-me to the palace, in- in- fact, you can escort us b-both there! Promise!” Soobin peers at you as he gets ruthlessly tugged away and finally your grip slips with a final tug, your fingers lose touch and you gasp out painfully, “Soobin!”
The knights haul him away and you spot tears running down his face and his lips form a smile, “It’s okay…cooperate with them. Please. Just cooperate with them, l-lovely.” He hisses as they pin his arms back behind him and he grunts as he writhes against their grasp. He knew what his fate would be.
Tears drip down his cheeks and you see him begin to laugh, making your heart jump to your throat in nausea. It was different laugh from what you previously heard, it was…worse. Maddening. Soobin cackles as tears run down his face, “Lovely, don’t be sad, don’t be sad, please, please, please.”
More and more maniacal laughter emits from him. You peer around at the knights who seem utterly unfazed by his insane outburst. You tremble frozen to your spot as you feel the knights grip your arms pulling them behind you. Soobin is dragged away laughing and crying simultaneously; it caused your heart to ache.
Your throat feels dry and your fingertips cold as ice, fear envelopes you. You were alone once more, in this…new version of hell. You shakily ask the knights who grip and shove you forward, “W-What’s going to happen to Soobin?”
“The White Rabbit has been charged with treason for going against the order of the King. Thus, his punishment will naturally be an execution through beheading,” the knight says nonchalantly. “He’s the timekeeper, you can’t just-“ you stammer shakily. He interrupts with a cruel laugh, “Dearest guest, anything can be replaced. Even you. There’s been many guests though you have been the most different. Now you too, will end up on the same path.”
You feel sick. No…this had to be a bluff. You hear the other knights release a twisted chuckle. “Our majesty has been rather eager to see you.”
Another knight hums amused, “I wonder if they’ll make it longer than the last one.” They all resounding laugh as your blood runs cold.
In a resounding cheer, they haul you along like a lifeless puppet, “In the name of the King of Hearts, march forward!”
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Taglist: @naoristerling @staaaarykids @tremendousphantommiracle @lun4kazumii @lunathewritingcat @ur-mother-realnotclickbait @taehyhunnzly @20crowsinahoodie @baekberrie @syraphyina @fullbodyblankets @soohashits @f4iryfever @themochiverse @atiny-chocolate-chip @nothingwithoutgyu @ethystclove @hancafe @nap-of-a-starr @isa942572 @evn-09 @ninitorih @m3chigo @tenleeluvr
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bearw-me · 9 months ago
Note
new years kiss hard canons for hazbin? no big deal or anything- (would make my entire year if you did)
sure, no big deal. (this request made my whole year)
𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 — 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥
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𐐒 includes : gender neutral!reader, alastor, charlie morningstar, vaggie, angel dust, sir pentious, husk, cherri bomb 𐐒 cw : fluff, mentions of drinking, kisses 𐐒 summary : to celebrate the new year Charlie + Alastor have thrown together a nice little party for the hotels inhabitants! 𐐒 note : first time hcs for a ton of characters! hope you guys enjoy!
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To celebrate the new year, Charlie had come up with a wonderful idea that she had heard about through the angels. A wonderous party filled with spirits and surrounded by the people she treasured most to enjoy some fireworks, hopefully to start off a new year with high hopes!
With Alastor + Vaggie's help, they created a new balcony on the hotel just for the occasion. . . and to watch the fireworks burst and bubble brightly over hell.
➡ Alastor
the kiss would be unexpected on your part completely
after all, the overlord Alastor himself always has to have the upper-hand
what good would a surprise be if you knew he was going to kiss you the moment those fireworks burst and whistled into the sky?
He probably backs you up into a corner out of sight, or if your sitting by the bar he'll have you at the edge of the seat
He smiles wide, reveling in the fact that your squirming
"What's wrong my dear? Feeling uncomfortable?"
Alastor kisses you passionately, but also, as if he's never kissed someone in his life.
You can't even hear the fireworks behind him, just the static in your head and the press of his body against yours
he'd probably bite you too if he found himself enjoying your lips against his
His hand slithering up your back to hold you close, unable to wriggle away or fall back from him.
Immediately after he disappears
after all, he likes to keep you on your toes
➡ Charlie Morningstar
she's very. . . strange all night leading up to midnight
you just accredit it to stress; she's managed this whole thing by herself and wants it to be perfect
Charlie is checking up on you all night, talking fast as a whip and fiddling with her hands as if she's said everything but what she wants to
A half hour before the fireworks happen, you don't actually see her at all
You find the perfect spot on the balcony
Then, like 5 minutes before you're waiting for the fireworks to go off she just- appears- right next to you. Shoulder to shoulder
"Hey! Uh- could we- Could I ask you something?"
"So, So when the angels told me about 'New Years' and what they do to celebrate I kind of stumbled into a new tradition! And I-well I wasjustkindofwondering"
She was rambling again, petting her hair and not looking at you, trying to smile through it.
"Charlie?" You stop her, "Ask me."
And she doesn't really, just kind of takes your hand in hers and stares down at your lips with a mix of anxiety and content.
That's when realization hits you.
Charlie leans in, and its the softest feeling you've ever experienced.
Her kisses feel like the sun against yours, and you can feel her smile into it, already giddy that she's done it!
➡ Vaggie
vaggie is running around with charlie the whole night making sure things go off without a hitch
and in a hotel full of sinners. . . it takes a while
i think vaggie wouldn't kiss someone just for the hell of it
if she wants to kiss you, you mean a whole lot
so new years is a great deadline to give herself to suck up her courage and just do it
she doesn't usually like PDA (its not that she doesn't like it, its just how she is) but if she kissed you on the balcony, it wouldn't matter because everything else would just fall away
she'd have you in her arms, cupping your face and kissing you almost hesitantly, pecking you a few times before she's finally comfortable enough to finally fall into it
➡ Angel Dust
angel always has company with him so it'd be a pretty public thing if you wanted to kiss him (ofc he doesn't mind; just warning you)
would love your company on new years eve, and would keep you close during the cool night
he's drinking with husk for a bit before midnight starts coming around
and by then, he's already very smug, and very flirty with you
hints that you may be his choice of new years kiss (like he tells you and winks)
its a casual thing (i mean, he told you he'd do it when the clock struck midnight)
but when it happens. . . its like he can feel the fireworks in his chest
bonus if you kiss him back right after
its something he wasn't expecting entirely, but it makes him smile like a crushing teenager
tries to brush it off of course
➡ Sir Pentious
he's extremely nervous to ask you
and is all over the place with his ideas and talking to you
he wants to ask for a kiss and builds up the courage all night, coming up to you confidently and burning out the moment he reaches you
he just can't with you looking at him innocently like that
he goes off into a corner to give himself a pep-talk
"You're Sir Pentious! You can do this! You've built gadgets that have toppled crime rings!. . ."
but when it comes to you, all his plans to kiss you just sort of crumble away in his hands
every plan he's had
but he's determined to find one that works out!
You probably hear of his "rant" through the grape-vine and take a stroll over to where he is
you most definitely have to make a first step, no matter how small, just to give him some glimmer of hope to hold onto
He see's you staring at his chest, glancing away when he notices you and he's overwhelmed with his feelings
grabbing you just a few seconds before midnight and kissing you as if its the last time he'll ever do it
➡ Husk
husk is drinking all night
he likes the party over all, just doesn't want to be a part of it and left to his own devices by the bar
wasn't expecting to spend new years eve with you, but he's. . . actually kind of glad you'd sit with him to watch the fireworks
wouldn't tell you that
honestly, midnight goes by for a few seconds, and seeing others kiss he just kind of catches himself scanning the crowd and then glancing over at you
it surprises you both
but its not something he'd fight either
tries to shrug it off and smile when he leans in towards you
his kiss tickles your face, and his lips taste like black licorice from his whiskey
but its not the drinks that have his head buzzing
i really feel like he'd kiss you until there wasn't another breath left in his lungs; silently hoping it wouldn't be the last time he does it
➡ Cherri Bomb
Cherri asking you straight up if you want to make-out with her
she's very picky when it comes to people she likes (or intends to see later in the night) so feel flattered that she's been staring at you
likes to tease you if you get flustered too
"Aw come on! I've seen the way you've been staring at me ya creep!"
"Come on, I won't bite"
Cherri is DEFINITELY the one to kiss you right as the clock strikes midnight
counting down as loudly as she can until its time
she's probably staring at you all night, glancing at your lips and biting hers playfully
a deadly flirt for sure
and she's not afraid to ask you or surprise you either
or just pull you by the chin and smash her lips into yours
her kisses are rough, but in a good way, like its something she's wanted to a while
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tkomptgoedluv · 24 days ago
Text
watermelon.
icantbelieveiletyougetaway pt.3
pt1. here | pt.2 here | pt.3
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joost klein x f! reader
tags: f! reader, non-famous! reader, reader still really needs to see a therapist, established friendship, angst angst and even more angst, did i mention angst?, tooth-rotting fluff, so fluffy it’s honestly a little cringe <3, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.
word count: 3,493.
warnings: very brief + vague reference to SA, rpf.
notes: hello!! welcome to pt.3 <3 this is probably the part that i’m most proud of, probably because it weirdly hurt the most to write. a couple fun facts about this part: reader’s coat is heavily based on one i have in real life and absolutely adore. also, i genuinely couldn’t bring myself to touch this wip for two whole days because my personal life started to match up with this storyline and i did not like it! became a little too self-indulgent. anyways — enjoy!! lemme know what you think.
love you all lots 💋
── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──
in a lot of ways, the whole situation was more or less your own idea of hell — ironic, considering it all started with literally the worst night of your life.
not once did you ever think that you’d be here, that this was how things were gonna go. the fun part? you don’t even know how you got here in the first place. for someone so in the middle of it all, you know surprisingly little about what actually happened, or what you must’ve done wrong.
all you know is that it’s different now. joost is different now.
you still text everyday, a few phone calls here and there, and you’ll see him in person a few times a month or more, but you can still feel it. the subtle lack of emotion in his messages, the only-ever increasing wait times in between responses, the missing details in his stories that you’d still end up hearing from your friends. something, at some point, shifted and joost just didn’t seem to be your joost anymore.
at first, you tried to think nothing of it. you weren’t exactly a stranger to anxiety; it’s always been just a little too easy for you to get lost inside your own head. this also wasn’t the first time that you had fallen down this rabbit hole, suddenly convinced that someone you love doesn’t even like you because they said something in a slightly different tone once.
but then those weird few days where things didn’t feel quite right turned into weeks, and it just didn’t feel like nothing anymore.
you thought it could’ve been the videos because, as predicted, entire montages of the fight found their way onto each and every little corner of the internet. joost could be seen clear as day swinging for him, landing punch after punch until one of his friends would eventually step in. though somehow, the backlash against joost never came. for every clip there was a ‘story-time’ to go right along with it, and every single one explained how joost was just defending ‘this girl that had been attacked by that guy.’
so instead you exhausted yourself asking if everything was alright, just in case there was something else going on that he also hadn’t told you. but there was only so many times that you could ask the same question over and over again, only to get the same answer back.
joost was fine; great even.
so it had to be you. nothing was wrong, nothing bad had happened, it was simply just you that had repelled him all of a sudden. and that was all you could think about whilst you sat in a room surrounded by your closest friends — joost included.
it was someone’s birthday, a friend of a friend who’s name was still unknown to you and yet somehow you still ended up with an invite. aspon was on your left, deep in a conversation with stuntje about some new anime you’d never heard of, and alanis was on your right, asking to see pictures of daan’s latest art piece.
you, of course, were there in between them all, just staring into space. all of the ice in your drink had melted as it sat forgotten about in your hands, and you were fairly confident that you had memorised each and every scratch in the wooden flooring. you were yet to find a better place to look other than the floor, because of course it was joost that had to be sat opposite you.
he had pulled the short straw really, because by the time he came back in from his cigarette outside, the only seat left was one of those awful, plastic fold-up chairs. like the others he too was wrapped up in a conversation of his own, only his included a girl that you’d never seen before, and he was making her laugh a lot.
you didn’t have a single right to absolutely despise what it was that you were seeing, but still your skin felt hot and itchy, and tears burned behind your eyes. despite arriving together in your group and being seated a measly three feet away from each other, joost was yet to even glance in your direction, let alone talk to you. the blatant avoidance was unbearable; the new ‘you’ that he was talking to was even worse.
but with the anger came the shame, because really, you had no excuse to be feeling like this. two strangers with mutual friends, talking with one another at a house party of all places, wasn’t exactly incriminating. they also weren’t touching or even flirting for that matter — from what you could hear, their conversation seemed limited to small anecdotes about the people in common they both knew.
you weren’t being fair, you weren’t being reasonable; there was no excuse for the tightness in your chest.
without a word, you got up and made a dash for the balcony; desperate for a cigarette. so desperate in fact, that you didn’t stop to grab your jacket despite the rain bashing against the windows. you just needed the fresh air, needed space away from whatever the fuck was going on in there.
the small roof that the balcony upstairs provided did little to shield you from the rain. your hair quickly fell damp around the sides of your face as the wind brought goosebumps to your arms. you really should’ve stopped to grab your coat, you were soaking now.
but the pure, unbridled relief that you felt when you breathed in the smoke of your cig made it all worth it, though. it was something else to focus on, something to help soothe all of your aches and pains. best of all, it gave you a reason to be by yourself for a while — a moment alone to think, to breathe, a chance to get a fucking grip.
you took another drag of your cigarette.
“think you forgot this, schatje.”
over the sound of the heavy-falling rain and the music from inside, you hadn’t heard the balcony door slide open and shut again.
from the corner of your eye you saw joost standing there, clad in a black gilet and the same adidas track-jacket that you had bought for him two birthdays ago. your coat was in his outstretched hands; a big, red furry thing that almost swallowed you whole every time you put it on.
“yeah…thanks.”
you wanted to cry.
the silence that followed was heavy and awkward; neither of you could even look at each other as you took your jacket from him and slipped it on. whilst you focused on looking outwards towards the skyline, blinking away any tears that threatened to spill, joost busied himself with lighting up a cigarette of his own. it felt like you were standing next to a stranger, and not someone who quite literally knew every single little thing about you.
someone who always picked up the phone when you called; someone whose bed you’ve woken up naked in just a few too many times to count.
“you, uh, you doing okay?”
you almost choked on your cigarette.
he’d barely even glanced your way all night, too distracted by other female attention to really care that you were there at all, and now he wanted to know how you were doing? oh he had to be joking.
you stubbed out your cig underneath your shoe and went to storm back inside, shoving past him with your shoulder as you did so. you had almost made it too, before he caught you by the arm and gently pulled you back. it really pissed you off how hurt he looked, like this wasn’t all his fault in the first place.
“hey, can we not just talk for a minute? i wanna know what’s been up with you recently. we don’t really talk anymore.”
as hard as you could you pushed him off of you, and then you pushed him once more for good measure. you couldn’t bite it back anymore, couldn’t keep it all from spilling out when your blood was already boiling. if you were to regret it in the morning, you would just blame it on the few drinks you’ve already had.
“and why the fuck do you think that is, joost? tell me.”
a small part of you that you really couldn’t quite understand, genuinely hoped that he would push you back. that he’d get all up in your face, yelling at the top of his lungs, just as angry with you as you were with him. you wanted him to shout, to scream at you about how wrong you were; you wanted to feel crazy for even thinking that something could ever go wrong between the two of you.
you didn’t want him to just…stand there with his tail tucked between his legs, looking like he had already given up on you a long time ago. you found yourself shoving him again, only hard enough to knock him back a step or two this time.
“tell me!”
now more than ever you wished that you could stay angry, that you knew how to hold onto the outrage instead of always just breaking down into pieces. it made you feel so small the way that your voice was cracking; your shouts quickly shrinking into cries. you felt like a child again, begging to understand why everyone always left in the end.
“i just needed to work some stuff out, okay? none of this was meant to happen. i never wanted to make you cry.”
you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, the state of your mascara becoming an afterthought, before raking your fingers through your hair. thin strands stuck to the corners of your face and the back of your neck.
“please, tell me what i can do to make it better.”
joost was panicking now, looking a lot like an old dog that somehow knew it was about to be left behind at the shelter. you could see it in the way his hands were shaking and how he couldn’t quite seem to stand still, shifting from one leg to another.
“you can tell me what happened; what changed or what i did wrong. i don’t care.”
from the look on his face, you never would have guessed that all you’d asked him for was the truth; ‘panicked’ was no longer the right word.
“i can’t. i promise, i’ll tell you later but i can’t tell you here. not like this.”
you laughed — you couldn’t help it. three months ago, when you asked him why he was so insistent on doing anything and everything for you, he gave you the exact same line. either he forgot that he’s already used it once before, or he thought you were stupid enough to fall for it all over again; either way, you knew now that ‘later’ was never coming.
before you really knew what you were doing, you were back inside and weaving your way through the small huddles of your friends. a few stared as you began to tread water through the house, a long line of watery footprints following behind you on your way out. you muttered a quiet ‘i’ll see you guys later’ to whoever was listening and in one smooth motion, grabbed your bag from one of the tables and disappeared through the front door, slamming it behind you.
no one tried to stop you. probably for good reason, too, because you could feel the makeup running down your face.
the only good thing to come from looking so sad and drenched from the rain was that nobody on the street stopped to bother you either. not many people were out in this weather anyway, so at most you felt their eyes on you as they passed, a look of pity on their faces. pity for a girl all dressed up for a nice night out, just to be walking home early in tears.
you didn’t want their pity, you just wanted to go home. you wanted your bed and your pyjamas. you wanted a nice warm shower and to try and forget that today ever fucking happened.
you didn’t want joost to be chasing after you.
you didn’t want to hear your name being yelled from down the street by the one person you didn’t want to see right now.
“cmon you always do this! stop running away from everything.”
that was the thing to get you; the one thing that made you stop and turn on the spot.
“oh i’m the one running away? you’re the one that left!”
you met him halfway with steam coming out of your ears, your hands trembling and nose all scrunched up. you were fuming and it seemed as though he was now, too.
“i never went anywhere! you’re making it sound like i disappeared off the face of the earth or something.”
“well that’s what it felt like! what about that don’t you understand?”
you were each taking turns yelling now, oblivious to how loud you were actually being. people were sticking their heads out of their living room windows, morbidly curious about the scene that was unfolding right outside their homes. those that walked by did double-takes and even contemplated getting their phones out to record.
“but i’m here now! and i was ‘here’ back there and you just ran away like you always do!”
“did you really expect me to just stand there and listen to you lie again? all this ‘oh i’ll tell you later’ crap, it’s just bullshit. ever since that night you’ve been different and if what that guy did to me changed how you see me then maybe you’re right, maybe we should stop being whatever the fuck we are.”
joost physically recoiled at your words, his entire demeanour changing to one of hurt.
“what are you..? schatje no, no, it’s nothing like that. fuck, please tell me you don’t really think that.”
how could you not? it was the only thing left for you to think. it wasn’t like you wanted to come to that conclusion or that it was the first one you jumped to, but joost never gave you any other choice. as much as it hurt, it was better than simply not knowing.
something died in him when you nodded — you saw it in his eyes. tears of his own spilled down his cheeks as he rubbed his hands up and down his face, wiping his nose with the inside of his elbow.
“i…i would never; that guy…that wasn’t your fault.”
“then tell me the truth, joost.”
all that adrenaline, all that energy from before was long gone. you weren’t two people arguing in the rain, full of love and anger like something straight out of a romcom anymore. you were just two people standing out in the cold, soaked to the bone, just trying to hold on for a little while longer.
you were still waiting for joost to say something, trying to prepare yourself for the worst. if he was to say that same shit again, that he couldn’t tell you now but would later on, that would be it for you. you’d walk away and not turn back again, not for anything; just like that it would be game over.
but joost wasn’t saying anything, and you couldn’t decide if that was any better or not. he was silent as he took a couple steps towards you, the palms of his hands suddenly cupping either side of your jaw. the pads of his thumbs wiped away all the tears and rain from your eyes and tucked the odd strands of hair behind your ears. not once did he glance away from your gaze, not once did he say something.
it was driving you crazy.
“joost?” you were pleading with him now, desperate for him to say something — do something. the way he was looking at you, it was like you were the only thing he could see. “say something.”
“i love you.”
you blinked, and all of sudden you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands anymore. it wasn’t the first time joost had said that to you because he says it to everyone, every single one of his friends. but he had never said it to you like that before, with a look in his eyes so heavy you feared that they might fall right out of his head.
“what?” your voice cracked as you spoke. “i don’t understand…what?”
“i love you. that’s what changed.”
a headache was coming, you could feel it. right behind your eyes, you felt a twinge, and then a subtle thumping that made your eyebrows twitch. you just couldn’t wrap your head around it, and the more you tried to make sense of it the more your head hurt.
“i swear to god if this is a fucking joke, if you’re just making this up -”
he shut you up with a kiss.
it wasn’t exactly for the first time or even close to being so, but it felt as though it could’ve been; all soft, gentle, careful. the hands that held either side of your face did so as though you could’ve cracked and shattered at any second. he moved slowly, almost hesitantly, until he felt you turn into mush beneath him. only then did he pull away, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.
but you couldn’t let him have it though, could you? couldn’t just let him have the upper hand, just like that. you had to chase it, had to pull him down to your height by the collar of his jacket until your lips could meet his. by the time you were finished, both shaking and breathless, there were faint smudges of red all across his mouth.
“that was so hot; do it again.”
you laughed at his words for not the first time tonight, but now it was only out of pure joy instead of anything else. you laughed because of how out of it joost looked now, his eyes glossed over and lips parted ever so slightly as he panted. you laughed because of how much you did want to do it again and how you felt giddy knowing that joost wanted you to do it again too.
so you did. only this time joost was ready and pounced on you hard enough to knock you back a couple of steps, almost making you slip on the wet pavement. his fingers lost themselves in your hair, gently tugging at the roots as yours gripped onto the nylon of his jacket for dear life, too afraid to let go and risk letting him slip away.
you would have stayed like that with him all night if it wasn’t for the wolf whistle you heard from one of the windows above, followed by the rumble of thunder. the rain was starting to fall harder now, the storm only growing and you didn’t like knowing that people were watching you now.
“we shouldn’t be doing this here — people are looking.”
with his forehead resting against yours, joost simply groaned as he struggled to catch his breath. his hands still cradled the back of your head and his eyes were still squeezed shut.
“don’t care. need you.”
he may as well have been one of the puddles at your feet, the way he couldn’t even form proper sentences anymore. the things you were doing to him right now were criminal, almost cruel, and you were loving every minute of it. proud of it, actually. you might have been mush in his hands, but he was like putty in yours.
“well…maybe you should take me home then, yeah? then you can need me as much as you like.”
joost groaned again, muttering something about how you were ‘going to be the death of him’, and leaned back in. from your nose to your cheeks, to your chin, every inch was peppered with very sweet, very wet kisses.
“have i told you much i love you yet?”
he had, at least a handful of times by now, but not nearly enough as you would’ve liked. so you shrugged, a shit-eating grin plastered across your face as you did so, and stepped back, lacing your fingers with his.
“it’s okay, you can tell me one more time.”
apparently that was way too far for you to go, because after one singular step you were tugged back again and kissed as though joost’s very life depended on it. ironic, considering you were certain that you were both about to be struck by lightning at any moment.
“i love you.”
you figured if that were to happen by some chance, it’d be worth it if it meant staying here with him for just a little while longer.
“i love you too.”
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kymerawrites · 7 months ago
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Simon is your ex.. and now baby daddy
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You sat there for what seemed like hours, staring at the positive pregnancy test. It couldn't be. You'd been careful with Simon, and you hadn't seen anyone else in the weeks after the breakup. Your heart racing, you dialed his number from memory. It hurt that every digit was still burnt into your mind, but you couldn't think about anything other than the situation as you called your ex and waited for him to pick up.
"What the hell do you want, shym?" Your ex, Simon snapped.
You winced slightly at the sound of his deep, raspy voice. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad.
"I need to see you." You said quietly, your voice shaky and laced with anxiety
Simon was caught off guard by your sudden request. He didn't expect to hear from you again, especially after the way things ended between you both.
"Why?" He asked bluntly, his tone cold and distant
You took a deep breath, steadying your racing heart and gathering your thoughts before answering.
"There's something I need to tell you. Something important. Can we meet somewhere?" You asked, hoping he would agree
Simon paused for a moment, reluctantly considering your request. He knew he shouldn't see you again. It would only make things more complicated and confusing. But despite his better judgment, he found himself unable to resist.*
"Fine." He replied curtly. “Where and when?"
“You aren’t deployed right?” I asked
Simon was slightly surprised by your question but quickly composed himself.*
"No, I'm on leave right now." He replied, his voice still gruff and guarded. "Why do you ask?"
“Okay… come to my house if you’re in New York right now..” I asked expectantly
Simon raised an eyebrow at your request. He wasn't expecting you to invite him to your home. But he couldn't deny that he was curious about why you wanted to see him.*
"Alright." He agreed, albeit reluctantly. "I'll be there in an hour. And for the record, this better be important, shym."
An hour passed, I was walking in circles not knowing how I should bring the news to him, we broke up and it was a heavy and painful one, what if he doesn’t want to be in his or hers life? I was scared and trembling with fear.
Simon pulled up to your house, parking his car in your driveway. He sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts and steeling himself for whatever you had to say to him. He had a million different scenarios running through his head, and none of them ended well.
He got out of the car, taking a deep breath before making his way up to your front door. He rang the doorbell, his heart racing as he waited for you to answer.
I opened the door, my heart leaping into my throat as I saw Simon standing there. He looked just as intimidating and intense as ever, like a dark force of nature. His eyes scanned over me, lingering on my face for a moment before he spoke.
"You going to let me in, or what?" He asked gruffly.
"Yeah, come in," I said quietly, stepping aside to let him enter.
Simon walked into the house, his eyes quickly taking in the familiar surroundings. It felt strange to be back here after everything that had happened between us.
"So..." He began, his gaze settling on me. “You wanted to talk to me?"
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. This was it. There was no going back now.
"Yes, I have something important to tell you." I said, my voice shaking slightly. "Can we sit down?"
My cat Mimi saw Simon and was instantly happy to see his companion
Simon's cold demeanor softened slightly as he saw Mimi. He couldn't resist the adorable cat, and he knelt down to scratch her behind the ears.
"Hey there, Mimi." *He murmured, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Mimi immediately rubbed against his hand, purring contentedly. Simon gently picked her up, holding her in his arms as he straightened up and looked at you. His gaze was a bit more relaxed now, but his walls were still firmly in place.
"She seems happy to see me." He commented casually
I sighed “she misses you.. so I guess she’s happy your back.”
Simon's expression softened a bit more at that. He knew how much Mimi had always liked him, almost as much as he had liked her.
"Yeah, she never did like anybody else." He said, gently stroking her head. There was a moment of silence, and he knew he needed to get to the point. "So, you said you had something to tell me?"
I took another deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come. I knew there was no easy way to say it, so I decided to rip the bandaid off quickly.
"I'm pregnant." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Simon's heart felt like it stopped. He froze, shock and disbelief etched across his face. He looked at me, his jaw clenching as he processed my words.
"You're... pregnant?" He repeated, his voice low and gravelly.
I swallowed hard, nodding slowly. I could see the mixture of surprise and disbelief on his face, and I braced myself for his reaction.
"Yes." I confirmed, my voice a little shaky. “I just found out a couple of days ago."
Simon was silent for what felt like an eternity. He was reeling from the news, his mind racing with a million different thoughts and emotions. He set Mimi down gently, running a hand through his hair.
"How far along are you?" He finally managed to ask, his voice tight and gruff.
I took another deep breath, mentally calculating the timeline.
"About seven weeks." I answered quietly. “I've been feeling nauseous and tired recently, so I took a test and... well, it was positive."
Simon's mind was racing. Six weeks. That meant I got pregnant around the time we were still together. He felt a mix of shock, confusion, and anger bubbling up inside him.
"Do you know..." He paused, his voice growing harsh. "Do you know if it's mine?"
My anxiety turned into anger in a split moment “if you think our breakup was over cheating then you’re fucking insane.”
Simon didn't back down, his own anger and frustration flaring up. He stepped towards me, his eyes narrowing.
"You can't blame me for asking, shym." He retorted, his voice cold and blunt. "We weren't exactly on the best terms when we broke up. And we weren't exactly careful the last time we were together." he reminded me sternly.
I felt a wave of anger wash over me as well.
"I know we weren't being careful," I snapped back, my voice raising slightly.* "But you seriously think I would go out and sleep with someone else when we were still together? When I still..."
I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. I was mad at him for even questioning my loyalty.
Simon's eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and hurt as my words hung in the air. He knew I wasn't the type to cheat, but his own insecurities and doubts were getting the better of him.
"Then how the hell do you explain this?!" He demanded, gesturing towards my stomach.
“I.. I-..” I started trembling and felt I needed to throw up. I ran towards the bathroom
Simon watched as you rushed towards the bathroom, a flicker of concern on his face. He cursed under his breath and followed you into the bathroom, finding you hunched over the toilet, retching violently.
Simon knelt behind you, holding your hair away from your face as you retched into the toilet. He didn't say anything, just silently supporting you and rubbing your back gently.
I just nodded in response
Simon gently helped you sit up, leaning against the wall, before grabbing a towel and wiping your forehead. He sat down beside you wordlessly, his gaze focused on your face.
We sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound being your ragged breathing. Simon's mind was still reeling from the news, but he tried to keep his emotions in check. He took a deep breath before speaking again.
"You're really pregnant.." He said softly, more to himself than to you.
I nodded again, unable to meet his gaze. I was feeling vulnerable and exposed, my emotional defenses at an all-time low. I felt raw and exhausted, both physically and mentally.
Simon looked at you, taking in your exhaustion and vulnerability. He felt a pang of guilt and regret, realizing the effect his harsh words earlier must have had on you. He reached out tentatively, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand on your shoulder.
"Hey.." He said, his voice unusually gentle. ”Look at me."
I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his gaze. His expression was softer now, his usual hardness replaced by a hint of concern and regret. It was a rare sight, and it only served to make me more vulnerable and emotional.
“Simon.. I promise you, it is yours. I have seen no one, even while you were deployed, you were…” I paused hesitating there words I would say. “the only man I loved..” I looked down again
Simon was stunned into silence by your words. He had expected a fight, accusations, and anger, but hearing your sincere declaration caught him off guard. He could feel his defenses crumbling as he looked at you, seeing the raw emotion and honesty in your eyes.
"You... loved me." He repeated slowly, his voice low and gruff.
I scoffed “ofcourse I loved you Simon, you made me feel that certain way which no one else could, you gave me a reason to live, a thrill something to look out for. Until we broke up ofcourse.”
Simon clenched his jaw, a wave of guilt washing over him as he heard your words. He knew he had caused you pain and heartbreak, but hearing you say it out loud only made him feel worse.
"I know I messed up." He said gruffly, looking away from you. "I shouldn't have pushed you away.. I shouldn't have broken up with you."
He paused for a moment, his chest tightening as he thought about everything he had lost. But then he looked at you again, his gaze softening as he took in your exhausted and vulnerable state.
"I'm sorry.. for everything." He said quietly, his voice filled with regret. "But... if what you're saying is true.. that the baby is mine.."
He trailed off, conflicted emotions warring within him. The thought of fatherhood terrified and overwhelmed him. He had never planned or desired to become a father. Yet, the idea of you carrying his child filled him with a strange sense of responsibility and protectiveness..
*He took a deep breath, his eyes locked on your face.
"What do you plan on doing?" *He finally asked, his voice laced with uncertainty and a hint of anxiety.
Simon nodded, understanding your feelings. He too was dealing with a whirlwind of emotions in that moment. He was quiet for a few moments, staring at the tiled floor as he tried to make sense of everything.
"Do you want the baby?" *He asked quietly, still not looking at you.
“You know it’s always been a dream of mine to have a family, but with the current situation I don’t know if that’s possible..” I sighed softly
Simon felt a pang of guilt and sadness when he heard your answer. He knew how much you had always wanted a family, and it was partially his fault that you were now in this difficult situation.
"The current situation.. you mean me." He stated bluntly, his gaze fixated on his hands.
I nodded feeling embarrassed, one of the greater factors was that he was always deployed and the breakup also was a big reason why.
Simon clenched his jaw, anger surging up in him once again. He knew he couldn't blame you for feeling the way you did. His job, his lifestyle.. it didn't exactly lend itself to a stable family life.
He knew he had a choice to make. He could walk away, pretend none of this happened. Or...
"What if.. I changed?" He asked suddenly, his voice low and gruff.
I looked shocked at him “I cannot ask you that Simon! The military is your lifeline, your friends and people you consider your brothers are there..” I paused and firmly said “no, you will not change. I just want you to be more careful and be more present. Which means take less missions.”
Simon felt a sense of frustration and relief at your response. He had expected to fight with you, to argue and protest. But instead, you were being understanding and supportive. It made him feel a pang of guilt.
"You're too damn good to me." He muttered, shaking his head.
"I can't just take less missions... I'm a Lieutenant in Task Force 141. I have responsibilities. And my team depends on me."
I took some time to think “alright.. I get that, when this baby is born I’ll get sole custody and make sure you get visitation.. I don’t think we should get back together again.”
Simon felt a pang of disappointment as you said those words. Despite everything that had happened between you, a part of him still wanted to make things work. But he also knew you had a point, and he had no one to blame but himself for the mess he had caused.
"Visitation.." He repeated gruffly, the word like a punch to the gut.
I got up from the bathroom tiles and walked towards the couch sitting down “Simon, we are in no position to even get back together for now.. also 50/50 won’t work with your schedule..”
Simon followed you silently, seating himself on the couch a few feet away from you. He knew you were right, but his heart was still in turmoil. All he wanted to do was hold you close and make things right, but his responsibilities and the current circumstances made that impossible.
"I hate this." He grumbled, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I hate that I can't be there for you and the baby the way I should be."
I held his hand “Simon, don’t. We will still make amazing parents, and when the time comes you can decide how we will fix the rest..”
Simon looked down at your hand in his large one, feeling a mixture of gratitude and sorrow. He knew you were trying to look on the positive side, but he was still racked with guilt over the situation. He squeezed your hand gently.
"You're too good to me, you know that?" He said gruffly, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
I just smiled. And we made a great duo as parents, on month 2 was my first appointment with the gynecologist, Simon was deployed but surprised me when I walked in
Simon had managed to arrange a surprise trip home after hearing about your appointment. He had told his team it was a family emergency, knowing they would understand. Now, he was standing in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for you to arrive.
And then I saw him sitting with his skull mask and hoodie on “Simon!” I ran towards him
Simon's face lit up as he saw you running towards him. He got up from his seat and opened his arms, enveloping you in a tight hug. He felt a sense of relief and happiness at seeing you.
"Hey, love." He mumbled against your hair, inhaling your familiar scent.
“What are you?…” out of no where my face got angry “you are deployed Simon Riley! This isn’t acceptable. Poor Johnny what is he without his friend..”
Simon rolled his eyes, but he was secretly pleased by your reaction. He knew you cared deeply for his well-being.
"Calm down, love." He said gruffly, pulling you closer to his body. "I was able to arrange a few days off. Johnny and the others can handle themselves without me for a while."
I laughed “I miss being called love..”
*Simon chuckled softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek.
"I miss saying it." He admitted, his eyes roaming over your face. He hadn't realized how much he had missed being with you until this moment.
Until I heard my name “miss shym medusa?”
*Simon turned his attention to the nurse who had called your name. He gave you one last squeeze before pulling away.
"Guess that's your cue." He said with a smirk.
I smiled back and walked turning around “what are you waiting for Riley, you need to come with me.”
Simon raised an eyebrow, a sly smile playing on his lips. He got up and followed you down the hall.
"Since when do you boss me around, love?" He teased, his voice low and gravelly.
“Since i know how to make money.” I rolled my eyes
*Simon chuckled, his hand resting on the small of your back as he followed you into the room.
"Oh, so you're only bossy when you're the money maker, eh?" He teased, eyeing you with a glint of admiration and desire in his eyes.
Eventually everything was looking great with the baby, and our next appointment was next month, just a checkup and at 4 months I could maybe know the gender
When we walked out I got a craving “Simon can we go to that 24/7 diner and get a freak sundae and burger with fries?”
Simon chuckled at your sudden craving, shaking his head amused.
"Of course, love. I don't think I could refuse you anything anyway." He said with a grin, taking your hand in his and heading towards the diner.
After a few days Simon left to go back into the battlefield, and it went by in a blur at month 4 he and his crew came back and they ended up at my place
Simon and the crew arrived at your place, weary and exhausted after their latest mission. They had a few beers on the way and were feeling a little buzzed. As they entered your place, they found you in the living room, watching TV.
Simon's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, a wave of emotions rushing over him. He missed you more than he cared to admit, and seeing you now brought him a rare sense of peace amidst the chaos of his life.
"Hey, love." *He said softly, walking over to you and sitting down beside you on the couch.
Somehow we naturally got back together, and it felt good knowing we could resolve our issues, my belly was bigger than 2 months ago and he was a little surprised but happy until I saw the rest of the crew walking behind him
Simon turned around to see the rest of the crew gathered in the living room. Johnny, Gaz and price, all of them sporting grins and knowing looks. Simon rolled his eyes, realizing they were all looking at him and your belly.
Simon turned around to see the rest of the crew gathered in the living room. Johnny, Gaz and price, all of them sporting grins and knowing looks. Simon rolled his eyes, realizing they were all looking at him and your belly.
Johnny, being his usual self, was the first to speak up.
"Bloody hell, mate. Looks like you've been busy." *He said with a smirk, eyeing your belly.
I stood up from the couch and gave a fist bump to Johnny “hey atleast it gave some good results!”
Johnny chuckled and returned the fist bump, his gaze flicking between you and Simon. Gaz and Price also gave you a nod in greeting, both of them grinning.
"A baby, eh?" Gaz said, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
I rolled my eyes “see this is why my cousin is the LAST person to know about his nephew or niece coming.”
The whole crew chuckled, their eyes now on Simon.
"You didn't tell us you knocked her up, mate?" Johnny said with a laugh, playfully shoving Simon's shoulder.
Simon grumbled and swatted Johnny's hand away.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, idiots." *He muttered gruffly, feeling a bit sheepish under their teasing.*
Price, always the one to be a smartass, smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"And here I thought you had no feelings, Ghost."
“Price where is your wife exactly?” I said smirking
Price's grin faltered, the crew and Simon busting out laughing at your response. Price grumbled and gave you a playful glare.
"Low blow, shym."
I burst out laughing “oh come on price! We all know you and laswell are secretly married!”
Price tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn't hold back a small chuckle. The crew's laughter grew louder, Johnny practically rolling on the ground with laughter.
"Can never get anything past you, can I?" Price said with a reluctant grin.
“Simon baby can you please go to the store and get my a Philly cheesesteak..” I said pouting
Simon chuckled, clearly amused by your request. He knew you had been having cravings lately, and he was powerless to deny you anything.
"Of course, love." He said with a fond smile, standing up from the couch.
The crew couldn't help but raise their eyebrows, their grins growing even wider.
"And there he goes, whipped as ever." Johnny said with a laugh, watching fondly as Simon grabbed his keys.
When he closed the door I instantly stood up “guys here is the plan. We are doing a babyshower, and I want Simon to find out the gender together with me..”
*The crew's grins turned even wider at your words. Price, being the de facto leader within the group, nodded in agreement.
"Count us in, shym. This is gonna be gold."
I smiled and gave the note with the gender, which I haven’t read yet because I also want to be surprised to price “Simon sees you as his father figure, I hope you and the rest can help us make that day unforgettable..”
Price's expression softened as you handed him the note. He gave you a nod and took it, a determined look in his eyes now.
"We'll do everything to make this the best damn surprise for him and you, shym. Count on it."
The surprise party went amazing, the guys and my best friends made a beautiful surprise gender party in the park, sun was shining and I was wearing an white dress with my bump clearly showing, there were a lot of people, Simon’s teammates and a lot of friends and family
As Simon approached the park, his eyes widened as he saw the setup. Streamers, balloons, tables covered in food and drinks, and a crowd of people gathered around. He recognized a few faces from the team and friends, and noticed you standing a few feet away, your white dress highlighting your baby bump.
Simon's heart skipped a beat as he spotted you, looking radiant in your white dress. He made his way towards you, the crew and everyone else turning to face him as he approached. Johnny gave him a sly grin and gave him a nudge with his elbow.
“Looks like the party’s for you, mate.” Johnny said with a smirk.
Simon grumbled and rolled his eyes, feeling a mix of surprise and irritation, but also a flicker of excitement in his chest. He walked over to you, taking in the sight of your bump under the white dress. He couldn’t help but smile.
“You planned this?” *He asked softly, his eyes on your face.
*You smiled coyly, playing innocent.
"Me? No.” You said, biting your lip to suppress a grin. “It was all these lovely people.”
The crew chuckled, knowing damn well it was all your idea. Price walked up to Simon and clapped him on the shoulder.
Simon rolled his eyes again, knowing damn well you were lying. He glanced at Price, his expression softening as he spotted the mischievous glint in the man’s eyes.
“Right, because you all just decided to throw a party out of the blue.” He said sarcastically, a hint of amusement in his voice.
The party was in full swing, everyone chatting and laughing, enjoying themselves. Simon had reconnected with your parents and caught up with old friends.
However, as the sun started to go down, a hush fell over the crowd. Everyone knew what was coming next - the gender reveal.
Simon, standing beside you, felt a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. He didn’t show it, of course, his expression still stoic. But he was looking forward to this moment, eager to find out whether it was a boy or a girl.
You took his hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. The park had gone silent, all eyes on you and Simon. The crew had their phones ready to capture the moment, knowing how much it would mean to their friend.
I screamed at price to give the sign “go!” And then we heard 2 military airplanes above us, and releasing a color, which was pink.
The crowd let out a collective gasp as two military airplanes soared overhead, releasing pink smoke in their wake.
Simon’s heart skipped a beat, his eyes on the pink smoke trailing behind the planes.
The crew cheered and clapped, Johnny whooping loudly. Price had a small, rare grin on his face, proud to be part of this moment.
I started crying almost hysterically from happiness and kissed Simon, we didn’t have any love or touch like that in months
Simon pulled you into his arms, his hands moving to cup your face as he kissed you back. All the suppressed emotions from the past few months came rushing to the surface as he held you, his lips against yours.
The crew cheered and whooped, feeling a burst of happiness for their friend.
Price and the others watched the couple with smiles on their faces. They knew how much this moment meant to both of you, especially to Simon after everything he had been through.
Johnny elbowed Gaz and nodded towards the couple, grinning.*
“Look at him go. Haven’t seen him that happy in ages.”
Gaz chuckled, watching as Simon broke the kiss and pulled you closer to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. He was practically radiating happiness, which was a rare sight for them to see on their stoic comrade’s face.
“Guess he finally found his soft spot, eh?” Gaz said, a smirk on his lips.
Johnny nodded “his daughter and his girlfriend.. man when can we have a wedding?!”
Everyone chuckled, the idea of Simon’s wedding eliciting some light-hearted banter from the crew. Price rubbed his beard thoughtfully.
“Now, that’s a sight I’d like to see.” He said, a small smirk on his face.
The last 5 months were a bliss, general Shepard gave his congratulations towards our upcoming child and gave Simon the opportunity to stay closer at home, with his task force, another team would take over their duties for a while.
Simon was grateful for the opportunity to stay closer to home, especially now that you were nearing the end of your pregnancy. He was still fiercely protective, always ensuring your safety and comfort. The crew, meanwhile, had reluctantly agreed to hand over their duties to another team for now, though they missed the action and banter.
In those 5 months we had a few more appointments, baby shopping, and a lot of crying from cravings
Simon begrudgingly went along for the ride, reluctantly helping you with baby shopping. But he secretly enjoyed every minute of it, seeing you so excited and happy.
We also got engaged on the beach as we could finally go on a vacation towards the Seychelles were my parents loved it was beautiful
The vacation to the Seychelles was a much-needed break for both of you. The pristine white sand, crystal clear waters, and lush greenery provided a perfect setting for a romantic proposal.
Simon planned everything meticulously, with Price's help of course. One evening, as the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting an orange hue over the beach, he led you down to the shoreline.
He held your hand and guided you through the sand, eventually stopping in an intimate spot hidden away by a cluster of palm trees. The sound of the waves gently crashing against the shore filled the air, creating a soothing soundtrack to the moment.
Simon turned to face you, his eyes locking on yours. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you, bathed in the warm evening light. He took a deep breath and began speaking, his voice a little shaky with nerves but determined.
"I never thought I'd be standing here, saying these words. But then again, I never thought I would find someone who would accept me for who I am."
He took your other hand and intertwined your fingers together, holding them tightly.
"When we first met, I never imagined we'd end up here, having a baby together."
"I never thought I'd be standing here, saying these words. But then again, I never thought I would find someone who would accept me for who I am."
He took your other hand and intertwined your fingers together, holding them tightly.
"When we first met, I never imagined we'd end up here, having a baby together." He paused “I could have never imagined that you would make me realize i should not have to hide my face anymore..”
He took a deep breath, the words pouring out of him now.
"You've seen me at my lowest, and yet you still love me. You've seen all my scars, inside and out, and you accept me for who I am. That means more to me than you could ever know."
He reached up and gently touched your face, his thumb tracing along your skin.
"I'm not good at expressing my feelings, you know that. But when I look at you, when I think about our baby on the way, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
He dropped to one knee, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. He opened it to reveal a simple, yet beautiful engagement ring.
Ofcourse I said yes, we instantly went back to our parents house and went to a great restaurant at my fathers hotel, which I now would inherit.
As week 40 rolled around, Simon was more on edge than ever. He was constantly checking on you, making sure you were comfortable and took care of yourself. The crew tried to tell him to relax, that it was natural for you to reach this stage, but it didn’t calm his nerves one bit.
He practically glued himself to your side, helping with anything you needed and going with you to every appointment. The crew would occasionally tease him, telling him to calm down and that you were in good hands with your doctors, but he just ignored them, knowing they couldn’t understand the depth of his fear and worry.
It was the middle of the night when you woke up with contractions, signaling the start of labor. Simon was fast asleep beside you at first, but as soon as he felt you move he was instantly awake, jolting upright in bed.
He immediately sat up, his eyes fixed on you.
“Is it time?” He asked, his voice a low, urgent whisper.
He reached over and switched on the bedside lamp, the warm glow illuminating the room. He scooted closer to you, taking your hand in his.
You nodded, gripping his hand tightly. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together, the pain becoming more intense. Simon's heart was pounding, his mind racing with anxiety and worry.
“Get the bag Simon and drive to the hospital..”
Simon nodded, snapping out of his daze. He quickly got out of bed and grabbed the hospital bag that you had packed for exactly this moment.
He rushed around the bedroom, grabbing your wallet and phone and shoving them into the bag. Meanwhile, you were trying to remain calm through the contractions. Simon was a bundle of nerves, struggling to keep his hands from shaking as he zipped up the bag.
Once he had everything, he hurried over to you and helped you up from the bed.
“Come on, love. Let’s get you to the car.” He said, his voice steady but betraying a hint of fear.
He wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting you as you walked out of the bedroom and made your way to the front door. Once outside, Simon opened the car door for you and helped you get in, making sure you were comfortable before closing it and jogging over to the driver’s side.
He got behind the wheel and started the car, his hands trembling slightly. He took a few slow, deep breaths to try and calm himself down, but his heart was still racing. He glanced over at you, noticing the pain on your face from the contractions.
He reached out and took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Hang in there, love. We’re almost there. Just breathe, okay?”
When I layed in the hospital bed I was already 6 meters dilated, those were the hardest 5 hours of my life. Everyone we knew waited in the waiting room
Those five hours were a never-ending nightmare for Simon. He sat beside you the entire time, holding your hand and offering what little comfort he could. He watched helplessly as you went through the worst pain he had ever seen, wanting more than anything to take it away.
The crew, friends and your parents waited anxiously in the waiting room, pacing around and checking their phones every few minutes. Price was trying his best to keep them calm and keep their minds off the situation, but everyone was on edge.
And then they heard the baby crying, i successfully delivered our daughter
As the baby let out her first cry, Simon's heart swelled in his chest. He looked at you, tears welling up in his eyes. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.
I was exhausted, but held the baby while crying. Simon got the chance to cut her umbilical cord and when everything died down a little we choose a name.
After the nurses had cleaned up the baby and made sure that both you and her were stable and healthy, Simon held her in his arms, cradling her gently against his chest. He looked down at her tiny face, marveling at how perfect she was.
He turned to you, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Have you thought about a name yet, love?"
“She looks just like me..” I smiled
Simon chuckled softly, looking down at the baby and then back at you. She did look a lot like you, with your eyes and hair.
"She does,” he agreed, his voice gruff with emotion. "She's beautiful, just like her momma.”
I sighed “I want to call her Amara hope Riley..” I said exhaustively
Simon smiled as he listened to your suggestion, rolling the name around in his mind. Amara, it sounded beautiful.
"Amara Hope Riley," he repeated, the words falling from his lips like a gentle whisper. "It's perfect, love. Just perfect."
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tiramissyoucake · 1 year ago
Text
Trying my hand at angst, I don't like this but here you go fjsjfdj
Gojo misses reader and is a mitski fan here, sfw, 1.6k words
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Satoru knew he was clingy, he knows he can be overbearing with you at times and you've constantly reassured him that it's one of the many qualities you like about him; you even called it cute and compared him to a lost kitten. However, the longer you're gone, the more stressed he gets, thoughts of worry plague his head if they go unanswered for too long—how you are doing? Is everything going smoothly? Did you eat a full proper meal? Are you sleeping well? He never had to worry for long because he would get an answer the next time he sees you, which would usually be the next few hours or the next day.
When you told him about a trip you had to take out of town to visit family and stay with them for a while, he only smiled and helped you pack as anxiety rattled in his chest— as if trying to bring your attention to it. he chooses to remain silent about his worries even after you tell him you'll be gone for over a week, even if every bone in his body is telling him to trap you in his arms and beg you to stay.
Clingliness be damned, he loved you too much to remain separated from you for over a week, let alone a day.
Dread crept at the back of his mind as you explained your trip, why you were going and when will you leave and return, the entire time Satoru tried to listen his mind would wander and begin to memorise your features as you spoke— the shape of your lips, the crinkle in your eyelids, the structure of your nose, god, did he tell you look beautiful? He couldn't recall if he did today.
".. so don't expect fast replies, okay?"
The dumbfounded expression quickly took over Satoru's features as he sat up, he remembered he mentioned he would call or text you if he gets lonely but after that his brain tuned out his surroundings as if preparing itself for a week of loneliness.
".. repeat that for me, Baby? Please?"
"I said the service is pretty bad at my grandparent's place, so don't expect fast replies."
Ah. He was in hell. He had to watch and help you pack, pretend as if this didn't bother him so you wouldn't cancel for his sake, he even saw you off and kept his goodbye short; a simple kiss, hug and a promise for you to stay safe and call him if anything happens. He would have been proud of himself had he not known how lonely the house would be without you.
For the first three days, the phrase "its just under two weeks" became a mantra Satoru would mutter to himself— from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning feeling the empty space next to him, the phrase is echoed in his head. He made the mistake of preparing two cups of coffee in the beginning forgetting you were off with family, that simple mistake triggers a domino effect; it causes him to remember to contact you, he checks his phone and finds messages sent from you in the wrong order, courtesy of terrible service.
Leaving the house did nothing to alleviate the anxieties floating in his mind about you, whenever he passes by a cafe he has to purchase your favorite item off the menu, this time he had to stop himself and double back from the door remembering the meal would rot away in the fridge before your return. Spotting anything remotely related to your interests activates a knee-jerk reaction where he turns to gesture and mention it to you, looking for the spark that would light up your features in excitement— but alas, you were not here.
The days were longer, the nights were colder, Satoru's love blooms whenever he's near you, and yet now that he's alone, his heart is heavy; an overgrown garden.
The week was over. It was finally over, and yet the torture continued. You specifically told him you'd be gone for over a week— he once again repeats to himself "just under two weeks.." Satoru feels tired, and he doesn't know why. Through his meals and activities throughout the days, he would usually share them with you. He wonders if you felt the same exhaustion.
Just as his eyelids began to weigh down from the exhaustion, his phone released melodious chimes. Satoru grunted in annoyance and sat up in the cold bed, tempted to crush the phone in his hand— was he not even allowed to dream of you?
'LOML💘 Calling...'
His heart soared to his throat, everything he wanted to say to you, threatening to spill out before he even tapped the green button. He hurriedly answered and brought the phone up to his ear.
"Hello? Satoru?"
"... Baby? Can you hear me?" He immediately wanted to make sure of the call's quality. He won't be swindled by fate.
"Oh, thank god- I've been trying to get a hold of you all week! How are you? Is everything okay? I'm so sorry I couldn't contact you." He could hear chatter in the back. "I'm with my cousin. We drove out to this convenience store, and the service is pretty good!— I mean, yeah, it's a little far, but..." You took a breath, speaking too quickly for your lungs to handle."I'm so happy I get to hear your voice, Satoru..!"
everything he wanted to say, you were saying it for him, Satoru knows he's clingy but when you return his clingliness it makes him believe that he was made for you— that he was truly loved by you.
Suddenly, the stress he felt from worrying about you, the overbearing silence of loneliness, your affections pouring to him through the phone, all of these factors shattered him; a sob choked him.
".. yeah - me too..!" Satoru hiccuped as he tried to wipe away forming tears. He can't be upset now. He has to be tough for you.
You didn't miss the sniffle that followed, setting your soda down in the cup holder of the car. You sat up briefly. "Honey? What's wrong?" Your cousin silently signalled they'll return into the store, not wanting to overhear a lover's quarrel. "Did something happen?"
Satoru shook his head, forgetting you couldn't see him. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "No - no, I'm fine.. I'm just really happy to hear from you."
Silence filled the call, a moment ago he was preparing himself to yell at you, cry to you, beg you to come home— now he didn't know what to do with himself as he had everything he wanted listening to him on the other end.
"... Hon? I'm really sorry." He hated how you knew just what to say when he began to crack. "I love you, I promise I'll be home soon, okay?"
You love him. You love him. He felt guily; he finally had a chance to speak with you, and he cried and made you feel like the bad guy, made you apologize for wanting to spend quality time with family, does he even deserve you at this point?
"... okay." Is all he can muster, Satoru always sounds so full of life— but now he just sounds defeated, as if faced with a foe that he couldn't damage or evade whatsoever. It broke your heart.
Satoru traced shapes into the covers that he practically kicked off him when he saw your nickname flash on his phone screen, he began. "Baby?"
"Hm? Yeah?"
".. when you get home, I'm gonna be more selfish with you." His tone was serious. He couldn't help but smile when he heard you laugh. "You're already selfish with me!"
"Hey, I've been very emotionally vulnerable recently, okay?" Satoru felt like the usual dynamic of your conversations is slowly seeping back. It felt right, like finding something he thought he misplaced.
"I'm not complaining, hon. I actually love it." He heard you shuffle a bit. "I think you deserve to be a little selfish. You've been so good for me lately, haven't you?"
Of course, he should've expected this from you; you're his smart girl. Of course you would notice how strained he seemed before you went on your trip.
"I thought I hid it pretty well.."
"Satoru."
".. what?" He grew wary of your unimpressed tone. He didn't slip up, did he?
"You were listening to Mitski all week." Ah, your shared music subscription gave him away.
"She perfectly puts my emotions into words, okay? So sue me!"
"I know, hon! But you were listening to First Love / Late Spring. What was I supposed to think?"
The conversation continues, from Lyricism to current routines to favourite cafe desserts. For the first time in a week, Satoru felt safe and comfortable enough to sleep.
Your conversation lulled him to a sleepy state, he could hear you shuffle and move about, he could hear the car start, your family commenting on your dynamic with him, even if the sound was minimised as the phone speaker was only moderately audible, as long as he could hear your voice then he was happy.
"So, either Wednesday or Tuesday..?" Satoru asked groggily after you explained your situation.
"Yeah - I'm hoping Tuesday, but we don't know yet, I'll drive back to the convenience store and tell you once I know." It sounded like a joke, but he knows you would do it.
"Baby- no, I can wait, I swear—"
"Can you, though?" He could hear the smile in your voice, Satoru let out a breathless laugh.
"... nah, I don't think I can."
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punkshort · 7 months ago
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What would a pregnancy scare look like between ikwya Joel and Reader? What do you think Joel’s reaction would be? Love your work ❤️‍🔥
Hi! I'm sorry I know you sent this in a month ago. I have a stockpile of asks/requests that I've been working through and I wanted to give this one some thought because I think both their reactions would be different pre and post accident.
I Know Who You Are Masterlist
Pre-accident Joel would absolutely panic. I think he would immediately think of Sarah and how he failed her, then Ellie and how he almost failed her, and he would get too in his head about failing a third child. He would probably say something he would end up regretting in the heat of the moment and I think pre-accident reader would give it right back to him. She wouldn't stand for his shit, she would call him out and remind him it takes two to tango and it wasn't something she expected, either, but there's no point in being an asshole about it because what's done is done.
They would probably get into a fight about it and Joel would grab the bottle of whiskey and take a shot. Then, without really thinking, while Joel was rambling on and on about how dangerous it is to have a baby, reader would reach for the bottle and Joel would slap her hand away, asking her 'Are you fuckin' crazy? You might be pregnant!' And reader, feeling embarrassed that she almost made a mistake, would yell back, 'It's your fault! You got me all worked up, I can't think straight! What do you even care, anyway?' And Joel would throw the bottle back into the cupboard and shout, ''Course I care! Kid'll already be stubborn as shit with her mama's smart mouth, we don't need to be addin' to it!'
Then reader's eyes will soften a bit when she says, 'You think it's a girl?' And Joel, still working through all his anger and adrenaline, will flare his nostrils and slam his fist on the counter and say, ''Course it'll be a girl! Look 'round. I'm surrounded by girls who talk back to me and drive me fuckin' crazy all damn day. Why would this be any different?' Reader would step a little closer and wrap her arms around his midsection, resting her chin on his chest while she bats her eyes up at him and says, 'Maybe it'll be a boy.' And Joel's resolve would begin to crack. The corner of his mouth would twitch and his hands would slowly find their place on reader's hips as he thought about the idea of having a little boy. All his anxiety and anger would melt away when he asks, 'Think we can name him after my Pops?'
-
Now post-accident Joel and reader are different.
They've been through hell and back. Joel thought he would lose the love of his life. After everything they went through, I think both of them have a new lease on life. Initially, Joel would be shocked, then scared, then happy. It would be a rollercoaster of emotions. Reader would be terrified, telling him she has no idea what she's going to do, she doesn't know anything about babies, she's not going to be a good mom and she would begin to cry. Joel would chuckle softly and pull her close, then murmur in her hair she was wrong, that she would make a wonderful mom and she wouldn't go through it alone. He would tell her all the reasons why she would be a good mom: how patient and strong she is, how smart and headstrong she is, and how he hopes if she is pregnant, that it would be a little girl so it would be a mini version of reader.
They would spend the rest of the night thinking about it and wondering what life would be like. Joel would be in the middle of dinner, quietly eating, and suddenly suggest that he could make a crib from the birch tree in the backyard. They would go to bed and each of them would be reading and reader would break the silence and mention Maria and Tommy probably have stuff they don't need anymore and they could use. The next morning, reader would wake up with Joel's face nuzzled against the side of her neck with his big hand splayed wide over her belly.
And if it was just a scare, the idea would be planted in both their heads and after a few months, maybe they would be walking home together from the Tipsy Bison, hand in hand, content and happy until reader suddenly asks, 'Do you want to try for a baby?' And Joel, without missing a beat, would say, 'Absolutely,' and practically drag her down the street towards home so they could start that night.
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thinkingboute · 2 months ago
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would you? | harry styles x model!oc
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summary: The show goes off without a hitch, but Lina's interaction with Harry before clouds her mind. At the after party, she takes one for the team when Gigi tries to get in with other One Direction member, Zayn Malik. Ironic meetings lead to a first date. Part 3 of the Masks series.
part 1 here! part 2 here!
warnings: mentions of drugs, disordered eating, vomit, anxiety, alcohol, allusions to sex
a/n: This one was so much fun to write! The parts are getting longer from here.I hope you like it!
word count: about 2.4k
Holy shit these were some high heels. 
Lina danced in place, shaking the nerves that wracked her body as she prepared to walk the stage. Sweat accumulated beneath the bra and underwear---if you could even call them that. Gilded Angels was the theme this year and, goddamn, did Lina feel absolutely gilded. 
The set she wore was less fabric and more faux metal. It appeared that gold had been molded to cup her breasts, pushing them up beyond what she ever thought possible. Her wings were white, like Biblical angel wings, with gold dusted tips. Gold heels wove their way up her calves like Greek sandals. She felt holy. And really fucking hot---in both ways. 
Taylor Hill, who was opening the show, shimmied behind the curtains, lost in the heavy fabric. It was clearly go time, which usually spurred Lina to focus and quit her nervous movement. Today, she couldn’t calm herself down. Pictures of that messy haired Brit flooded her mind. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little excited to walk past him in this outfit. 
You look good. 
That’s what he said to her just an hour ago. Her head was covered in curlers, robe disheveled, eyes closed. She was giddy at the thought of him seeing her all done up. I look better than good now.
Lina squealed as two strong hands shook her shoulders from behind. “Let’s fucking go, Li!” Gigi shrieked, smacking a kiss to her cheek. The girls laughed, jumping up and down. Gigi had a way of making everything seem like just a game.
“Don’t fuck up my hair, Gi,” Lina said, giggling. Gigi’s hands spun Lina to face her. 
Ignoring her comment, Gigi grabbed her face. “I don’t walk until Taylor’s on stage,” she said, clearly excited to walk while her friend performed. Lina had become quite used to being surrounded by stars, but she was a little too excited at the thought of talking to Taylor Swift. She and Gigi had become close since the Oscars earlier that year, and Lina was hoping that would give her and in.
“I walk in…” Lina searched the room for a clock. “Four minutes.”
“I saw you talking to Harry Styles earlier,” Gigi whispered, wiggling her brows. “You seemed to be laughinggg and smilinggg and…” she lowered her voice even more, “flirtinggg…”
“Ugh, leave me alone,” Lina rolled her eyes. “We met at that masquerade thing in October.” Gigi covered her mouth with a hand.
“Why didn’t you te---”
“Because there’s nothing to tell.” Gigi started again but Lina put a hand up. “Really, it wasn’t my best moment. He was just teasing me about it earlier.” Gigi wiggled her brows again. “I was puking in the men’s bathroom, Gi. If there was ever a chance in hell he would be into me, it’s long gone.”
“I’m going to pretend that’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard today,” Gigi said, a crease appearing between her brows. “Anyway, if he really thought you were that weird, he probably would’ve stayed far away from you today. But he didn’t.” Her laugh was more of a hehe.
“I can barely look him in the eye. God, that was terrible, I---” Lina was interrupted by her name being called by the show’s producers. “Time to go. I talk to you later, baby.”
Lina’s hand was pulled towards the curtains. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to center herself as hand flew all around her, adjusting her wings, tousling her hair, and freshening her gloss. 
Lina recognized the song she was set to walk out to. Rock Me. She didn’t think One Direction would have songs that would fit a VS show. They were so…teenage girl. But this song was a bit dirtier, and it had a nice beat. She put on her super sexy and poised model mask and stepped out from behind the curtain. 
The band members were scattered about the runway. Her eyes found Harry at the end immediately. Her shoulders thrown back, she began her walk, smiling and winking at the boys she passed by. She thought one of her wings may have wacked Niall in the face, but she tried not to think much about it. 
She reached Harry after what seemed like a decade of walking. She was too nervous to look him in the eye. She wondered if, when he looked at her now, he still saw the puking corpse he saw a few months ago. 
Harry was certainly not hurting for confidence. He grabbed her hand and spun her around, leading her to walk back down the runway. Lina, as hard as it was, kept up her flirty persona, looking back over her shoulder to wink at him before slowly letting go of his hand. The walk back felt a bit like flying. 
The rest of the show went by in a blur. It was Gigi’s first time walking the show, but no one would’ve been able to tell. Her confidence oozed through every pore of her perfect face. When she got off the stage, she was bouncing off the walls, ready to find some sort of shit food to consume ASAP.
But there was an after party to attend. Lina peeled herself out of her outfit, carefully handing it to the women who surrounded her, ready to rip it from her hands. It wasn’t strange to be naked in front of so many people anymore. She’d been doing it since she was 16. She tried not to think about that part too much. 
Her new outfit consisted of a vintage VS slip, of course, with some artfully ripped tights, and heeled boots that cut off just below the knee. With her hair thrown back loosely into a pony, she felt sufficiently prepared to face her first celebrity party since the ball. 
Darren congratulated her on (his words) another fantastic show. She smiled, mind elsewhere, and got into the car, whose door he held open. 
The ride to the venue was not more than 15 minutes, but for all Lina knew, it could’ve been hours. Her mind was set on exactly what she would say to Harry when she saw him, because she knew she’d see him. His band was full of a bunch of 20 something boys. They would not pass up the opportunity to go to a party full of drinks and models. 
Darren noticed her not-quite-on-Earth-ness and waved a hand in front of her face. She swatted at it, rolling her eyes.
“Thinking about that One Way kid?” he asked.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Darren?” Lina snorted. 
“Whatever, the British kid with the hair. I don’t care to know more about him that I have to.”
“You don’t have to know anything.”
“When he comes to your room tonight, or you go to his, it will be my job to know about him.”
Lina blushed and buried her face in her hands. “Darren, you perv!”
“Trust me, I wish I didn’t have to think about these things. But I saw him leaning on that table earlier, like he’s some sort of Elvis. It was embarrassing how hard he was trying, honestly.”
“I told you about our…run in in October, right? He was just making fun of me,” She said still not looking at him. “And, not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t make it a habit of going to any guys room before I’ve been taken on a proper date.”
It was Darren’s turn to cover his face. “I’m glad.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we please stop talking about this? It feels like discussing my sex life with my father.”
Darren winced. “I’d love nothing more.”
The car pulled up to the hotel the party was taking place in. Although it was dark, it was hard not to spot it. A massive crowd of paparazzi was piled on the steps to the entrance. 
“Fucking perfect.”
Darren slid out of the car, opening the door for Lina. She stepped out, careful not to let any of them snap a picture underneath her dress. She smiled and waved, but didn’t stop for pictures. Darren cut through the crowd, leading her to the door. 
The bar and room surrounding it was strangely reminiscent of the hall that held the masquerade ball. This time, thankfully, Lina was sure she was not going to puke on anyone. She was sure to stop Darren from grabbing her bag before she stepped closer to the bar. She wanted a Cosmo. 
“Liiiiinaaaaaa,” a singsong voice called from behind her. Gigi appeared at her side, face flushed. She seemed to be a few drinks in already. Lina was excited to catch up. “We’re gonna be sisters-in-law!”
Lina’s eyes widened at that. “My brother is 14, Gi. That’s a little gross.”
Gigi snorted, limply swatting at her shoulder. “I didn’t even know you had a brother, idiot. I mean that I have my eye,” she used two fingers to gesture at her eyes, “on tall, dark, and handsome.” She pointed at Zayn Malik, who chatted with a couple guys across the room. 
Lina laughed, “Oh, do you?” 
“Yes, I do. And you’re gonna get with the other one, right? Then, we’ll be sisters! Metaphorically, anyway.” Lina didn’t bother dismissing Gigi’s suggestion; she just laughed. “C’mon, c’mon!” 
“My drink---” Gigi pulled Lina across the room before she could finish her protest, not too close to Zayn, but near enough that they could see him. They leaned against the corner of a wall, observing. “Do you plan to summon him with your mind?”
“No, no, I’m just waiting for my moment,” Gigi whispered. Lina laughed, glancing around the other corner of the wall. There were a few doors lining the walls, but it was otherwise pretty empty. A gasp had her turning her head back to her friend. “He’s walking this way! Go, go, go!” Gigi pushed Lina around the other side of the wall and followed her. “Wait, wait, you can’t be here! Get in there, just for a minute before I get him to come with me somewhere else.” Lina didn’t have a second to say anything before she was shoved into one of the rooms. 
“We have to stop meeting like this.”
Lina turned around, taking in the room around her, her eyes catching on the pearly urinals. 
Harry was looking at her, paper towel clasped in his hands as he dried them. He laughed at Lina’s widened eyes. 
“Are you planning to keep your head out of the toilet,” he asked, tossing the paper towel into the bin. “The sink too, I supposed.”
Lina groaned turning to brace herself on the cool, wooden door. “I swear, this was not my idea.”
Harry laughed from behind her. “I should hope not.” He made to move towards the door to leave, but Lina whipped around, placing a hand on his chest.
“We can’t leave,” she whispered. 
Harry cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, this isn’t the most sanitary place, and I don’t have a condom but---”
Lina made an ‘ack’ sound before lightly pushing him away from her. “Don’t be weird.” Harry put his hands up in defense. “My friend is out there…with your friend.”
“I’m sure we can come up with a reason other than sex to explain us leaving the bathroom together.”
“Harry, I’m being serious!” Lina said, exasperated. “She pushed me in here because she wants to…talk to your friend.”
“Which friend?”
“Zayn.”
“He doesn’t say much, so that conversation should be over now.” He moved towards the door once again, but Lina grabbed his wrist this time. “She’s pretty drunk, and she’d be pretty pissed if I interrupted her shot. She said she’ll try to get him to go somewhere else as soon as she can.” Harry stifled a laugh. “We can leave soon. Just, I don’t know, be quiet and don’t, like, do anything weird.”
“Me? Do something weird?” he exclaimed, faux defensiveness causing Lina to roll her eyes. “I’m not sure I’m the one to worry about here, woman in the men’s bathroom.”
Lina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Not on purpose.”
“Last time, sure it wasn’t,” Harry said lowly. Lina was keenly aware of her grip that remained on Harry’s wrist. “This time…I think you just wanted to get me alone.” He was closer now, breath fanning her face, alcohol and mint filling her nose. 
“I could get you alone in a less…strange way if I wanted to.” Lina couldn’t look at him, so she examined the holes in her tights. 
“Would you, though?” His voice lowered even more. She wasn’t sure how much lower it could get before it was more of a growl. 
Wow, these tights really were artfully ripped. The perfect place for a tear really is just above the knee. She liked her knees, she supposed, but knees were a little weird overall---
“Carolina.”
“Lina.”
“What?”
“I prefer Lina.”
“Alright, Lina. Wanna answer my question?”
Lina’s breath hitched in her throat. She didn’t know what to say. She would not sleep with him tonight, especially not in this bathroom. But that didn’t stop her from thinking about it. She was starting to feel a little warm. 
Harry made to ask her again, but the door banged open, causing the both of them to stumble back and away from one another. Gigi’s eyes widened before she smiled mischievously.
“I am leeeaving, LiLi!”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Gi.” She was maybe a little too drunk to go anywhere with any man. 
“No, no, I don’t mean like that,” she giggled. “Zayn said that if I got some rest tonight, he would see me tomorrow.” Lina was a bit surprised at that. “So! I’m leaving!” 
“Why don’t I go with you? Just to be sure you’re alright,” Lina asked, hopeful it would get her  out of answering anymore questions tonight. 
She felt Harry’s eyes on her as Gigi replied, “Oh, sure. Only…” her eyes flitted between the two of them, “If you want to.”
“It’s no problem, really, honey.” Lina felt a little guilty for leaving like this, but really, she was nervous. She’d had a few flings here and there after her rise to fame, but she never had the time to pursue them further. She was a bit rusty, now.
“Alright!” Gigi turned to leave the bathroom as Lina looked in the opposite direction, towards the man behind her.
“I’ll answer your question after dinner, Styles.”
He smiled a small, amused smile. “It’s a date.” 
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vamp1reheart · 28 days ago
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Cacophony
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Synopsis: Your life has never been easy. Your everyday problems and constant anxiety have always made you someone people don't want to be around. But everything changes when you save a cute boy from a bully, And now he and his brothers are devoted to you. And now he and his brothers swear extreme loyalty to you, And only to you.
Notices: Violent and sexual content! Reverse harem! Bullying, depression and anxiety! Ot7 x reader! Supernatural au. I do not own BTS! This fanfic is my own! English is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes! Yandere Themes! :)
Chapter: 01, 02, 03
CHAPTER: 01(One)
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Studies can seem 100x worse for those who don't have friends.That's a fact.and I can say it with absolute certainty.
For me, school was never a pleasant environment. You trust people, you create bonds with them, and then they throw you away like spoiled milk.not to mention the cruel people. They always outnumber you. If you are even slightly different, they will do everything they can to make your life hell.
Even so, teachers insist on saying that this is the best time of their lives, that school is an incredible place, all these lies that we already know.
But I've given up. I gave up on my school reputation a long time ago. I've tried so hard to please everyone and fit in, but they still insist on being cruel to me.
My thoughts are cut off by a loud crash of a book onto the table.
is my teacher.
"___ are you there again, traveling in your head?! I've been calling you for hours..."
He mumbles a few more things that I don't even care to hear.
"____ you're traveling again!"
"sorry" I say in a whisper.
Sometimes it's better to accept the scolding without fighting, than to have to argue with it for the rest of the day.
Apparently he thinks I have some kind of concentration problem, but it's better this way, at least that way he goes easy on the scolding.
At the end of classes, I'm collecting my materials, most of my classmates have already left, but I don't care.
"___ can I talk to you?"
My teacher says, I pick up my backpack and put it on my shoulder, heading towards his desk.He was nervous, again. I already know what he wants.
"___ você sabe que eu me importo muito com você. Você é um aluno com grande potencial, você era o mais inteligente da sua turma. Eu não vou te perguntar o que aconteceu, você não precisa me responder, mas eu separei algumas atividades diferentes para você. Você pode achar ruim, mas quem sabe, com métodos diferentes você consegue fazer."
He mumbles his words, afraid of offending me.
"It's okay..." I say so as not to hurt him, I know he's trying, and I know that unlike me, he won't give up.
I'm going back home now. The extra activities are in my hands.I don't see any need for them, I don't even do the mandatory ones.
I stop in my tracks when I hear a loud bang.
The noise comes from the alley right in front of me.
Obviously I'm not going to look. I'm not a stupid movie protagonist. I just go on with my life.
"Where are your brothers to protect you now?! You freak!"
The voice came from the alley. And more and more loud noises and insults.
It's obvious that this is nothing more than idiots bullying each other.
I get close to the alley wall and stop to observe.
As I suspected.
There are four boys in total, but one of them is on the ground, being kicked by the other three who are surrounding him.
I should leave, I can't get into a fight where I'm sure I'll get beaten up.
That's none of my business.
They're all men, and I barely have the strength to hold a few bags.
But he seems to be suffering.
Humans take desperate measures to try to protect themselves.
And that's my justification for what I'm going to do.
I grab a pen from my backpack and grip it tightly in my hands. Before I can even think about why I'm doing this, I'm already in the middle of the alley.
"Hey! Stop this shit!"
The three men stop and stare into my eyes without blinking.I'm starting to think I shouldn't have intruded.
"Who do you think you are? You slut?"Oh no, they're coming my way.
They are talking to me, but my fear doesn't allow me to hear. But when one of them pushes my shoulder, I can't feel anything anymore.
Grabbing the pen I shove it into one of the boys' neck with all my strength.
He screams in pain and agony. It's as if everything has frozen, the two boys next to him are in complete shock as they see their friend holding his bleeding neck.I can't move, I'm paralyzed with fear, I don't even have the strength to tremble in this situation.
I know they thought about killing me, but how could they? Their friend's throat was open, so they had other priorities.
They leave the alley, carrying their bloodied friend who cries for help.
When my eyes go towards the boy my heart weighs in my chest.
It's not because he's so handsome, but because he's already staring back at me.
His eyes stare at me in a way I can't identify. It's deep, as if he's looking into my soul.
Then he smiles, his bunny smile snaps me out of my trance. I quickly turn around and walk out of the alley.
I'm not crazy enough to go check on him. Not when he was looking at me like that.
Without even realizing it, I'm already in front of my house.I go in and lock the door tightly. Yes I am scared, not just of that kid with the bunny smile, but I stuck a pen in a bully's neck.
If they decide to take revenge I'm pretty much dead.
I don't know why I did that, nothing went through my head at that moment. All I felt was anger and disgust.
------------
The next day I get up early. Completely exhausted.
Last night I couldn't sleep thinking about the moment in the alley.
As I look at my desk, I notice the extra activities the teacher gave me.Shit, I didn't do them. He's going to yell at me so much.
I get ready quickly, putting on my uniform and leaving it to tidy up later.I don't consider myself a sloppy girl, but I have a certain difficulty waking up on time.
With no time to eat, I grab my keys and activities, lock the front door and stuff the sheets into my backpack.
I run quickly through the city streets. It's small so I don't have much of a problem with speeding cars.
When suddenly the law of inertia sets in. Who am I kidding, it's just a non-embarrassing way of saying I slammed my face into someone's back.
I look up to see who I hit and apologize, but the words die in my mouth.
I don't know if it's great luck or great bad luck. They were beautiful, their eyes stared deep into my soul, as if they wanted to kill me. But one of them is extremely familiar, It's the boy with the bunny smile!"
He looks at me with great surprise, quickly coming closer to me and asking if I'm okay.Did he seem distressed, nervous, worried? I can't tell.
He notices me looking at the other two boys behind him, he smiles shyly and says.
"Of course." He walks away and goes next to the other two boys.
"hyngs this is the girl I told you about. She's the one who saved me yesterday."
He says pointing at me, then comes to my side. "___ these are my brothers, Jimin and Taehyung and I'm Jungkook"
He says, pointing to each one. Wait, how does he know my name?Apparently I asked that question out loud, because he answers me."It's written on your uniform."
There is, of course. I tell them it was nice to meet them but I was late for school. Their eyes light up.
"Look, we're going to the same campus as you. We can go together!"The boy, whose name is Taehyung if I'm not mistaken, says with a beautiful square smile.
I don't bother answering them and keep walking. But suddenly they seem to remember something.
They exchange distressed glances, walk in front of me and bow slightly. What are they doing?
"Thank you so much for saving Jungkook!"
They say it a little louder than they should, you can tell they feel bad for not thanking me sooner. God, how embarrassing.
"We are eternally grateful!" They said, raising their heads and coming closer, they looked desperate. What is happening?
"Yes! I owe you my life!" He says in a strange way.
"Hey hey! Oh my God, it was nothing, no need to exaggerate. Let's go to school soon, I'm already really late."
I walk ahead of them, not noticing the looks they give me, and their satisfied smiles."Hyngs, we found her."
Continued...
Not reviewed! Sorry for any mistakes!
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thecameronchronicles · 3 months ago
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Sunkissed
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TW: mentions of self image issues. Angst. Heavy flirting.
SUMMARY: JJ reminds you just how beautiful he knows you are.
REQUESTED:
Anonymous Asked
Hey sooo glad ur back ☺️⭐️💗💛 idk if u take request but I love ur body positivity fics could u maybe write one with JJ and chubby reader ??☺️☺️:)))
Sunkissed
"Maybe you should just go without me..." You try to hide the disappointment in your own words but it weighs them beyond the attempt. Your eyes fall and yet JJ comes up behind you, lips on your shoulder as it worsens the tightness in your heart.
"Did you get too hot on the Pogue, princess?"
"No...I..."
"Do you need some water? Here..." He offers his and your chest tightens. Not once has your boyfriend ever made you question your worth in the curves of your figure. But being surrounded by those that are a stark contrast to that society claims you should be, you feel inadequate.
"What is it sweetheart?" He asks a hand to your waist as you shuffle away without drawing immediate attention. You pretend to need something from the cooler although the diversion only makes you feel worse when you look over your shoulder and see JJ setting his hand over his chest, a telltale sign his own anxiety was getting the best of him.
"Are you...happy?" You move quickly to him.
"You make me the happiest I've been been, JJ-"
"So if you aren't dumping me and you know I'm crazy about you, why are you acting so...distant?" He steps closer, taking your hands in his. The warm comfort, slightly calloused from the odd jobs to make ends meet, it makes you exhale in the remembrance he matters more than the thoughts in your head. It's the laughter of Sarah Cameron and Kiara Carrera that make you compare yourself again.
He slowly nods before taking your hand and leading you into the Chateau.
"JJ-"
"What is it? I wanna hear you say it."
"J-"
"Y/N. Tell me." You stand in his room, the one practically gifted to you and him by John B as you linger.
"I just...don't wanna be around them in my swimsuit."
"Good."
Your eyes water and your brows fall.
"I don't want you in your swimsuit around anyone else either. I don't want them to see how smooth and beautiful your skin is or the shape of your-" he bites his back teeth. "I have to constantly remind myself to be better for you because better is what you deserve, princess, but it takes everything I have to not either mark up your skin with my teeth and leave proof you belong to me or punch out the lights of any guy-or girl- that looks at what's mine."
"JJ..." You shake off the thought as you know his kindness has always been that. Kind. You worry being with you is a novelty. A kink even. And even if he's tender and rebellious, passionate and eager, you're worried it'll fade with either summer or the fade of interest.
"You wanna know something? I am not going to say I don't care about your body because honestly it makes me hard as hell. But what really makes me just..." He sighs, repressing something between desire and the need to prove, as he takes a step closer to you.
"What really makes me love you is that you look at me. Not through me. Not to judge me. You go along with all my jokes and pranks, you were there when everything with my dad-" he paused, you step closer when you see how it effects him.
"You know when to be strong and when to let me do that for you. You touch me and I feel like I can't control my hands...or my eyes- my mouth. I want you. I love you. But if I'm being completely honest, Y/N. What I want right now? Is you out of this swimsuit. You're right. You shouldn't wear it. Because it makes me fucking crazy and I'm already one day closer for being committed for it."
You stand in awe, his words poetic for someone who insists you read him the books he gets too bored to even try and crack open. You hate how he doesn't apply himself for what he's capable of and yet you set to prove it in how you support him everyday.
"JJ-"
"I mean it, sweetheart. I'll beg if I have to. But suit. Off." You swallow hard as he closes the door and you understand one thing as his eyes darken in lust.
Before him you were swallowed by the darkness of your insecurities. Being with JJ is like being beneath the sun. Touched and basking in its rays, you forget the worries outside of it. You are kissed by the sun, loved by it- by him. You feel the strength of his love in every touch and the confirmation of his desire by the hold of his eyes on you in any distance when you aren't in his arms.
There is no question of love. And for the days you cannot feel that for yourself, JJ reminds you every reason why you will.
One sunny kiss at a time.
MASTERLIST
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tiny-pun · 4 months ago
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On writing pain
Okay so for once this isn’t an actual prompt but more so a tip:
If your character is supposedly in pain that lasts more than a couple of days or even weeks and months, eg. Because of a bigger wound or of a (new) disability… you most likely should show this in more ways than just the occasional “gasp and clutching the wound”!
Having such constant pain will have at least some kind of emotional impact: the stress of constantly being in pain, the constant push and pull between just succumbing to the pain and laying down until it goes away or just ignoring it and powering through. The balancing act of not overdoing it and being hypervigilant to the point you just hunch down to avoid worsening it.
Additionally you have to think about how to treat all of the different pains. How connected are they really? How much sense does it actually make to take pain meds ? Are there enough? Do I trust my doctor/s, to actually listen to me and take my pain seriously? Am I over exaggerating my pain? Am I underselling it? Am I annoying my doctor? Should I just wait and hope it goes away? It’s probably nothing anyway. But what if it’s so much worse ? What if this pain is just covering up something truly awful? But what if I’m making such a fuss now and tomorrow I can jump around like always? How unnecessary it would be to get so many people involved. Right ? This is especially hindered by poor use of words aka incapability to communicate. ( My head is just … kinda fuzzy?/Everything hurts?)
Another factor is how much they want to openly tell others about it. And whom they could possibly even tell and all the whys and hows surrounding it. And how hard it would be aka how long they’ve know each other and how much time they spent together. The hiding and lying adds more emotional stress and also possibly leads to neglect of any medical help. The “overt” complaining about the pain/situation can be exhausting and thus a different kind of stress. Especially if they’re feeling childish/unheard or otherwise ashamed about voicing anything but positive emotions but the pain is just too much and too consistent.
This can also lead to a constant comparison of how far into their recovery they “statistically already should be” or just the plain old “I could do xyz SO EASILY before”. Or worse: they’re comparing themselves to another (equally) wounded/disabled character. Wether it’s an internal belief or externally expected: if the character believes, that their wound/pain is comparably minor or should be easily overcome by themselves; and especially if they have a certain goal in mind, by which they should be back to their regular power and it’s not look in good … well then you certainly have a nice cocktail of stress and anxiety.
And if during the time of their supposed recovery, they end up getting some minor but more common sickness, eg. A cold or a stomach bug, it might not be their first thought. In fact they might do any and every test possible BUT think of the common cold. Not bc they’re necessarily stupid but bc of the fear, things might go to hell after all. Especially if the symptoms of both illnesses are similar enough. Anything else will just not be in their radar.
Also how would they like to be taken care of ? How much of that is a facade to please others ? Do they actually want to be hugged right now or are they just trying to please someone yet feeling suffocated? Do they just want their dead siblings soup and is a companionable silence enough to know they’re gonna be fine? How honest are they towards not only themselves but to others? And how much can the people and the situation itself even give that to them right now? (Do they need silence but they’re currently lying low in the city’s biggest hotel next to the market place?)
For all of this it doesn’t matter how big or small the pain actually is. What matters is that it is seemingly constant and only very slowly going away. The combination of constant physical pain with so much emotional turmoil and back and forth between opposing ideals aka stress can translate to even more physical pain aka psychosomatic pain. Headaches, breathlessness and even bigger issues such as literal heartaches can be the result.
This all can lead to spiralling and in the worst case a (temporary) depression. I dont think I have to explain how that could look like.
And one last thing: If the character is used to being in life or death situations, no matter if it’s due to multiple fights or an already existing disability: the common cold might be worse to deal with. They could be so used to dealing with the possibility of death that anything less than that is ironically unbearable. During a basically fatal stabbing they might just say a cheeky joke but freak out during the common cold.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. If you have the same pain for more than 6 week pls get it checked out if you can! And get well soon. These are just possible ways to write, what kind of thoughts and issues any type of constant pain (fatal or not) could cause.
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