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liaspenandpaper · 2 days ago

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The Dame for the Gentlemen in Distress

Your life begins to spiral down when you decided to accept the hands of your childhood friend-turned pirate who invited you to be part of his crew while the said crew set the town in fire.

You haven't seen Seonghwa in years after him leaving their village with the hope of being a marine. Even if you were opposed to it, you thought that you have no rights to stop your friend from achieving his dream.

TW: This story contains themes of abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual), graphic violence, threats of harm, trauma, exploitation, and bullying. Reader discretion is advised.

This is purely fiction and no means represents Ateez’s members in real life.

Lia's Note: English is not my first language, so this might contain grammatical errors. Please bare with me. Love lots.

In front of you is the biggest ship you had ever laced your eyes upon. The ship has this ominous presence that makes a normal person like you, uneasy.

ATEEZ

Your eyes widened from the recognition of the name. Ateez is the new yet most fearful pirate crew that sails in the vast ocean. You couldn't believe that Seonghwa would become part of this deadly crew and just forget his dreams of being a general.

As you stepped your foot on the deck, you contemplate if you would just jump off from the ship, the moment you saw the rest of the crew members. They were all bloody, you’re not sure if those bloods were theirs or not (you’re pretty sure it's not).

"Now, what do we have here? I guess you've picked some stray, my dear," a short man whose hair was split into two shades, the other part black and the other white said with scrutinizing eyes in your direction. You found the nickname a bit amusing, but shrugged your curiosity away, since it not your place to pry.

"She's the one I've been telling you about, Joong. She's Y/N, my friend," you looked at Seonghwa as he introduced you with so much excitement to his crew hoping they would greet you warmly, but as you looked backed at them, they only stared at you with contempt, which is unfortunately haven't noticed by Seonghwa. You immediately knew that your presence is not welcome.

"Joong, I asked of you. She has nowhere to go. I just can't leave her alone. I beg you to let her come with us," Seonghwa held the man whom he called "Joong". You can see the shift of his expression as he is now looking at Seonghwa. Joong's expression now held some fondness to it, so different from the way he looked at you.

"Of course, my dear. Your little friend can stay, but I expect her to not just become a mouth to be fed," he answered and emphasized the last part of his words.

"She can stay as long as she's not useless or I'll kill her and feed her to the sharks."

You gulped as you interpret his words. He must be the captain, you concluded, because as all of them are scary and intimidating, this little guy exceeds a more authoritative vibes than the others.

"Thank you, Captain!" Seonghwa looked at your direction with so much joy, you reluctantly offered a smile as you saw the other's sour mood.

Damn this will be difficult. You thought.

🥀

"Hey, you clean the dishes,"

You sighed. It's been a week since you boarded Twilight, Ateez's ship, and you never stop regretting coming along with Seonghwa.

It's been a week and the rest of the crew never treated you like a human being, rather a monkey whom they can just order around. You don’t have any complaints on helping around the ship, instead you like it. You don’t want to become a burden to the crew, but them treating you like equal would be very much appreciated.

"Are you even listening to me?" Wooyoung snapped his fingers at your face and it seemed to do the job as you muttered an apology and started to clean the hell of a mess in the kitchen.

"Tsk. Can't even do her job right," you heard Wooyoung said, and it made your heart sank a little bit.

You believed that you haven’t been a freeloader in the ship, you followed every task they've assigned to you. You wiped every grime on the areas of the ship that has accumulated for years that Seonghwa could not clean because of the hectic schedule he has. You cooked them meals and put all your knowledge when you were working as a cook to a pub since you were twelve. However, those weren't appreciated by the crew except Seonghwa of course. They always have a say, they didn't do it or say anything in front of Seonghwa, but they do it behind his back. You’re just glad you have the patience and mindset of your father, because your nature to say anything without thinking placed you to difficult situations before and you don’t want that to happen right now, so you try your best to shut your mouth.

As you were now washing the dirty dishes someone entered the kitchen. You checked who it was and it was Hongjoong.

"Making yourself quite useful, huh?" Hongjoong gave you a smirk, a smirk so belittling it triggers the sleeping irritation inside you. Among the crew members, you find Hongjoong the most insufferable. As you learned all of their names, associate them by their hair colors, you also learn that Hongjoong loves Seonghwa, not just a friend but more beyond that and is not shy of displaying his jealousy after you and Seonghwa interacted. Not just Hongjoong actually, but the entire crew is jealous every time Seonghwa talks to you.

It's not that uncommon to have multiple partners, but it shocked you a little that Seonghwa has seven lovers. All of them so possessive they could bite your head off of if they want.

You didn't reply to Hongjoong, since you don’t know what to say. He approached you in the sink and leaned on the counter, staring at you menacingly.

"I swear if you’re doing this or anything to seduce, my Seonghwa, I will not hesitate to throw you off from this ship," His voice quiet but it didn't fail to make you shiver. What he said is absurd and nonsense, but you were afraid that if he became blinded by jealousy, he will really do it with no hesitation.

"I am not interested in Seonghwa, Captain. He is my friend whom helped me find a place to belong to. I owe him my life, so I am doing my best to not be a burden to his crew and it didn’t even graze my mind to seduce him, that would be weird," you calmly said, proud of yourself of not sounding too scared of him.

"Besides, Seonghwa is too in love to all of you to bat eye to another person. He already has 7 lovers that he could pin on, so why get jealous?" as much as you don’t want to ran your mouth carelessly, unfortunately your mouth was faster than your brain this time.

Hongjoong’s expression grimaced and you knew you’re screwed. Hongjoong stepped closer to you, so dangerously close and grabbed your arm tightly. You’re pretty sure it will leave an awful bruise later.

"You're a clueless little mouse, aren't you? Don't speak to me like you are a part of the crew, and remember your place. Better keep your distance to Seonghwa or I'll kill you," he lets go of you and left the kitchen, banging the door behind him.

"Possessive freaks," You muttered under her breath as she continued her task.

🥀

You heeded Hongjoong's warning-slash-threat. You kept your distance to Seonghwa, muttering an excuse every time he speaks to you. Of course, your friend wasn't an idiot. Seonghwa is not oblivious to his crewmate’s behavior towards his friend. He often scolds them every time they treated you badly, but one thing Seonghwa doesn't know, is that the more he scolded them, the brewing hatred towards her keeps boiling near its highest point.

It was a month later when they finally can't handle their jealousy anymore. They collectively didn't know why they just can't ignore you. It's not like you were seducing Seonghwa as what they have been saying, it just that your presence was an abnormality, now they don't know how to act normally.

They're not sure if it was amusement that they've been feeling from the start, masking it with jealousy to hide the fascination to finally meet their lover's friend that he told them about. They knew you are important to Seonghwa, that even after all these years he held you dear in his heart. But they can't help to act harshly towards you, seeing Seonghwa's eyes lit every time you’re around and they were threatened of you.

Questions that they can't answer starts to float around their head and it hunts them, the uncertainty of what the future holds hunts them. However, their not-so-ill feelings towards you might compromise your safety.

“Hongjoong, it’s dangerous to let her come with us! She doesn’t even know how t—” Seonghwa couldn’t finish his words as he was anxiously pacing around Hongjoong’s quarter.

“Then she should start to learn how to, right? It’s not that some of us trained to fight either, we learned as we fight,” it was Yunho.

“You don’t understand, I’m not saying she couldn’t f——” Seonghwa was cut off again when Wooyoung interrupted.

“What do we don’t understand, hyung? If you want her to stay with us then she should also fight right? We only have each other, she can at least learn how to defend herself, since I won’t,” Wooyoung bitterly said.

You are just listening from the corner of the room, and you can’t help yourself, but to say something, “I can go,” you interrupted, you can’t let the crew fight over trivial things, so you decided to intervene a little.

“I can fight. I can defend myself. Let me go with you,” you firmly said to them, with your resolve and determination not once wavered. Seonghwa sighed in defeat, thinking his crewmates will regret letting you go with them.

“That’s the spirit! Who knows if you proved yourself enough, I could consider you as a crew of Ateez?” you knew Hongjoong isn’t being sincere, but you can’t just pass this opportunity to prove yourself more. That you deserve to be a part of Ateez.

🥀

Jongho handed you a sword, and you gladly received it.

“Thank you, Jongho.”

He didn’t reply, as you expected, but the lack of words from the guy didn’t affect your mood at all. Jongho wasn’t a talker, as you’ve observed. He prefers to listen and only engage to more important discussion, never much on casual banters.

You continued to stare at the weapon on your hand. The sword was well kept, and you’re thankful that it is a sword that fits you like a glove. Just the right size and weight for you.

Their mission was to infiltrate a banquet held by a corrupt lord of an island, who’s abusing his power and authority to rule over the indigenous and original settlers of the island. And you learned again that Ateez’s nature is to steal from those who steal.

For the government and for the normal folks, Ateez’s means of doing things are considered immoral, illegal, and wrong at every angle, but to those people whom they’ve helped, they are seen as heroes, a light who brings hope.

“Y/N you don’t have to do this,” Seonghwa hasn’t stopped pleading you to change your mind, but his pleading only went to deaf ears.

“I’m not the same fifteen-year-old girl you knew, Seonghwa. I too have shared fair number of moments where I have to defend myself, if I couldn’t, I would never be here in front of you,” you said firmly. It is indeed true, from the years when Seonghwa was absent from your life, things went haywire, and it forced you to do things in order to survive. There were no gray areas, it’s either kill or to be killed, what you mean is that you could either be sold off to men and be their sex slaves or kill those men.

“I don’t mean that, you know? I know you can fight, Y/N. I would even bet my life you can take me on a fight and win fairly. It is not you I’m worried at, you know what I mean right?”

The both of you shared a knowing look. Shaking your head, you told him, “Don’t worry, Hwa. I won’t let loose,” you promised.

Oh, boy you speak too soon.

🥀

“SOMEBODY STOP HER!” Mingi shouted as he fights someone. His pleas fell into deaf ears as you continued to bash the head of the guy who’s groping a young girl earlier. He is the last guy you’ve beaten up, so you make sure you did a number on him.

When the nine of you arrived in the banquet, it was full of old men and young children. The scene that you’ve arrived with was so disgusting it almost made you throw up all of the food you ate earlier.

These men were feasting to these children, making them sit in their laps, touching their bodies, kissing them in areas that old men shouldn’t lay their hands on. Pictures flashed in your minds, the scenes where you rescued young children from the hands of those rich filthy bastards whose past time are getting off watching children get mauled by other men. It made you sick to the stomach, seeing the traumatized faces of those children that mirrors the looks on the children here on the island.

The disgust suddenly turns into anger and the moment your hand touches your sword, you let your instinct took over your body until you were snapped from your trance when you hear voices calling out your name.

“FUCK! SHE’S FUCKING INSANE! Y/N! DON’T CRUSH HIS HEAD!” Hongjoong yelled in a distance, then you see yourself straddling a bloody man with a bloodied wine bottle in your hand. You weren’t satisfied enough since the man is still conscious, you’ve done this a lot to know when he’s dying, but he’s far from it, so you continued pounding the bottle to his head.

“JONGHO, RESTRAIN HER!” Jongho kicked the man he was fighting and ran towards you. You felt him pry you away from the poor guy you’ve fixated on.

“Y/N that’s enough, you’ll end up killing him.”

You straightened yourself and glanced around. Everything’s a mess, but the man’s face below you is messier. “Crap, are we not supposed to kill any?” you asked Jongho with genuine concern, “I didn’t kill any, right?” you added. Of course, you knew you didn’t, you just asked for courtesy.

Jongho sighed before answering, “Yes, we’re not supposed to kill anyone, Y/N, and fortunately you didn’t kill anyone from your savagery earlier,” he handed you a cloth that seemed to be a handkerchief.

You hesitantly accepted it, but nevertheless you used it to wiped your face as per Jongho pointed out, “You look like you’ve been in a blood rain, wipe your face, can you?” he said. You smiled from the gesture and realized that this has been the longest he’s spoken to you.

“You’re crazy, I like it,” he said to you before walking towards the others. You feel the pride swelling in your heart. Hearing Jongho somewhat acknowledging you was very rewarding, so you ran and catch up to him as you two reached where the rest of the crew was.

“Y/N! What did I say about losing control? I knew bringing you here was a terrible idea,” The joy you felt earlier suddenly switched. Seonghwa’s look of disappointment to you reminded you of the past where he is always scolding you from being too much.

“Yeah, and thanks to her we almost compromised our mission,” San said in a huff, and you see him rolling his eyes to you. Guilt starts to eat you as you see their annoyed and disappointed faces, except Jongho who said, “Guys, she didn’t compromise the mission, if not for her we wouldn’t subjugated Lord Kwon,” he pointed out the man whom you left just earlier.

“She single-handedly fought with Kwon’s guard, she deserved to be praised, is she not?” Jongho added.

Ateez’s dynamic never seems to amaze you, as you see how Jongho’s words affect the others. He may be the youngest in Ateez, but his words still held authority. All of them values each other’s opinion and that is one of their traits that you admire and one of the reasons you learned to respect them. Yes, Hongjoong is their captain, but the rest have their rights to voice their suggestions and concern.

“Seonghwa, I think you might have forgotten to mention that our little mouse here is a trained fighter, and not just your damsel in distress,”

“She wasn’t trained, Joong, she has to, or she would have ended up like the children we’re rescuing from, years ago.”

#liaspenandpaper #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #atees scenario #ateez

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yuurei20 · 1 hour ago

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"Vil has possibly never acknowledged having friends, or even school friends." I'm confused. Are you talking in that one event or in general? If it's the latter...what? Vil has said that Jack is his childhood best friend, and seems to be friendly with Rook, possibly seeing him as one. That statement contradicts the canon.

Hello hello! Thank you for this question! 👑🐺

I have not been able to find a line of Vil calling Jack his childhood best friend ("best friend" itself seems to be a word that has only been used four times in the whole game!), but if you happen to have a chapter or screenshot it would be very much appreciated! Always happy to update with the most accurate information m(_ _)m

The closest I was able to find is Vil's ceremonial robes vignette where he refers to himself and Jack as "同郷のよしみ," but in this case the word "friend" might be oversimplifying the nuance of what he is actually saying: Vil is acknowledging that they have something in common--their hometown--without referring to Jack as his friend! He is acknowledging their pre-existing connection without implying friendship or an emotional bond.

EN chose to go with "old friend" for this particular line, but it is not uncommon for EN to introduce the word "friend" into dialogue where it does not exist, which is why this series is based on content from the original game rather than the adaptation :> English adaptations will often simplify nuances for accessibility!

EN uses the word "countryman" earlier in this conversation, which I think is a perfect interpretation ♪

The realization of how very rarely anyone actually says "friend" (and Yana's interview where she says that the theme of the game is making problem children get along with one another) was the inspiration for this series!

Malleus, for example, has never referred to the prefect as his friend, but the word was not only added to his EN dialogue but the word "human" was replaced with "acquaintance"!

Between Halloween Year 1 and Halloween Year 3 Malleus promotes the prefect from "acquaintance" to "friend" in relationship development that hasn't actually happened in canon! Which I find fascinating ^^ The EN game really is its own unique experience!

Returning to Vil: he does seem to be friendly with Rook, but he has never actually said out loud that they are friends!

This does not mean that they are not actually friends, but refusing to acknowledge friendship aloud is also a theme:

Ace seems to be friendly with the prefect, for example, going to Ramshackle alone late at night so that they can watch horror movies together, but when others comment on how they are friends he will deny it 📝

Ace: "We're just in the same class. You don't have to read anything into it!"

It has been very interesting to track which characters seem adverse to the concept of friendship and which are not--are things building up to a climactic moment where characters like Malleus, Vil and Ace actually do admit that they have friends?

(In a mirror image of Ace we have Deuce, who is one of the only four people who have ever said "best friend" 👀📝)

I am certain to check new content as it releases for examples of anyone saying "friend" aloud and am updating this information as the characters evolve ^^

Am very excited to see if there will be character development and/or plot points in the future where the characters finally do refer to one another as friends!

#twstask #twisted wonderland

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bingsoo-jung · 23 hours ago

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This is one thing that’s bothered me a lot. While I do think depictions of Cass using ASL are sweet and adorable, I also struggle with them a lot because the thing about struggling to communicate, is that it doesn’t matter what language is being used, a language is a language. Signing ASL uses the same parts of the brain as speaking English. Canonically they’ve explained Cass’s struggle as the parts of her brain that would be used for speaking languages, as being used for reading body language and fighting (which fun fact, is actually somewhat scientifically accurate! If you’re blind for instance, your brain will begin to use that part of your brain that would process information your eyes see for other things. The brain is super cool like that). So her struggle is fundamentally that the pathways that would be used for communicating language and interpreting language, are drastically underutilized. The more you use a certain skill, the more the brain travels and uses that pathway, making it easier to repeat that skill in successive instances. Whether it be ASL or speaking English, both would present the same issue of she just… hasn’t developed those neural pathways.

Now, there is a small chance that ASL would be easier because of the physical component and the way that our body stores memory in our body versus straight facts, and Cass’s skill at memorizing and replicating physical things, but that isn’t an assurance, and it would only extend towards memorizing the associated movements, and not the actual meaning of the signs themselves.

Hey, we need to talk about the way Batfamily fans write Cass using ASL, because a lot of it is really fucking ableist

But Cass can't speak, of course she needs to sign!

Not true! There is nothing physically wrong with Cass's vocal chords or mouth, there's nothing in her brain stopping her from making sounds, and she is not an elective mute. She actually learns to speak individual words really quickly after she puts herself into an environment where that's a useful skill. Basil teaches her to quote huge chunks of Shakespeare in Nu52, and that's easier for her than forming simple sentences. That would definitely not be the case if she had any physical limitations on her speech.

Cass's disability is that she was not taught any language, and so she is having to grok the entire concept of language from the ground up. Grammar and syntax; tonality; how to combine words to convey more complex ideas; how putting two words next to one another can change their meaning; how to break down a whole idea into the individual parts needed to turn it into words; the fact that people's words might not line up with their tone and body language so you have to pay attention to both; how to tell if someone wants a response or is stating a fact; how to work out meaning from context if a word is new or someone has an unfamiliar accent; how to know if someone is using a new word or if they actually just have an unfamilar accent and all the ways words can be bent and changed before they become something new; the fact that two words can use the same sounds but have the same meaning; the fact that there can be two different words that mean the same thing. This is all stuff she didn't learn as a baby, and not knowing it would be just as much an impediment to learning ASL as learning English (for accent, swap out things like having limited movement in their hands, or having learned slightly different forms of the same sign, using a lot of home-signs etc, it's the same concept in a different medium).

There is no language on earth Cass wouldn't have these problems with. ASL is not any kind of shortcut.

But she reads body language, and ASL is kind of like body language right?

Not true, also pretty abelist! Just as the sounds which make up spoken language are essentially arbitrary (there's no objective reason why the sound "gud" should mean good, English speakers just all agree it does) so most of the signs in ASL are arbitrary! There's no reason for

to mean good. ASL users just all agree that it does. Cass knowing body language would not help her any more with ASL than it would with English, and if anything, it might make it harder, because sign uses the whole body and therefore changes the way people use body language so unless she saw a lot of ASL users as a child (and there's no particular reason to think she did), she would have to adjust what she knows about body language to account for those differences!

But she signs in the comics!

Nope! She uses hand gestures to communicate sometimes, but that's not signing. Pointing at food and miming eating to convey hunger is not sign. Pretending to punch someone and pulling it at the last second to convey you could hurt them but won't (Cass's actual first communication with Bruce in the comics) isn't signing. I've done the point and mime thing in countries where I didn't speak the language, that does not mean I knew that country's native sign language!

But she learns ballet, that's like a physical language, so sign is the same thing!

Nope! Also low key kinda abelist. Dance is a method of communication, but it isn't a full language. There's almost no grammar or sentence structure, the vocabulary is extremely limited, and also you can just make up new dance moves or use moves from different styles of dance together and still convey your meaning (you cannot just make random gestures or use BSL and expect ASL users to understand you, because they're full complex languages). Cass vibes with dance pretty hard, but that's precisely because it isn't a language, it doesn't require any of the skills she struggles with in order to communicate emotion.

But ASL isn't like a real language, it's not as complex or nuanced as spoken English so it would be easier for her to learn

That is so fucking gross I don't even want to have this conversation with you. Go and sit in the timeout box and think about what you've just said, and then commit to doing better.

But I just think that once she learned it, she'd like using ASL because [it's very expressive/she's used to her world being very quiet/she can use it on stealth missions more easily/etc]

Valid, understandable, have a lovely day

But I'm writing an AU were she uses ASL because her backstory is too comic-book-y to fit in no-capes AUs but I didn't want to erase her communication difficulties so I've written her as having a different disability

Cool. Send me a link when you're done.

But what if I write her using makatong?

(For context, makatong is a form of sign developed for people who have intellectual or phsyical disabilities that affect language use, which uses more descriptive signs which require less precise hand possitioning than other sign languages, and which has very simple grammar, making it easier to learn than ASL). Yes this would be easier for her, because it's intended for people with similar difficulties to hers, but since her difficulties stem purely from a lack of experience which can be (and are, in canon) overcome with practise, it would be kind of needlessly limiting compared to her just starting out with very simple spoken language, and wouldn't give her as many chances to develop those language learning skills. Makatong is also not mutually intelligable with any other sign language, so she couldn't easily transition from that to ASL once she got used to signing, she'd have to start learning it from scratch.

But I HC her as deaf

There is 0 comics evidence to support that, but it's a headcanon, so who cares. You do you. Have fun.

But learning sign language would be better than learning to speak anyway because it's a universal language!

That is not even slightly how it work. Go read the wikipedia article on sign languages around the world or something. Do some research.

TL:DR; Cass does not use ASL in the comics, and nothing about her disability or sign languages in general would make learning ASL easier or more convinent for her than spoken English. That does't mean writing her signing is inherently bad, but you should examine your reasons for doing it to ensure you're not just perpetuating ableist stereotypes about the language.

#cassandra cain #batman #i think about this so much

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telugu-girl-13 · 22 hours ago

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it’s literally Christmas Eve but I’ve got a mega rant read it or don’t vv

why am I so different from my parents? like I’ve realized that some of my traits are a mix of theirs but we don’t share any hobbies or talents? my parents never read, they aren’t that good at English, yet literature is my thing? neither can they sing and dance, or are artistic at all, but i am? And for some reason, these differences give them an excuse to not pay attention to anything I do at all. They don’t ask what im doing, what im reading, what im dancing to in bharatanatyam, what I was painting back when I used to go to art class, what music im listening to. Even when THEY are the ones who enrolled me in those classes. All because they “don’t have time”. So they NEVER have time?? because that’s they’re excuse ALWAYS. and then my mom goes and talks about how much work she has to do, how she has to cook and clean for everyone in the house, if you want help, could you TEACH me how to do stuff instead of complaining?? (ok that was unrelated, now back on topic>)

just a few weeks ago, my mom figured out my favorite color was purple when asking me what decorations I wanted for my birthday. My dad probably knows nothing about me as well. They think I hate or im so distant to Indian culture, maybe if they asked what I was reading, they’d know that I read Aru Shah?

And the few times my parents DO try to invest in what im doing, omg, it sounds SO fake. Like yesterday when I came back from dance my mom subjected me to shopping, but does she care that I just worked my butt off physically for over an hour? And I tell her that and she’s like “if I could come to your class I would watch you for an hour” like NO THE FUCK YOU WOULDNT ?? When I tell her that she’s like “well I have nooo time do you expect me to actually do that” and laughed—then why are you FUCKING LYING TO ME. why do you think lying is the only solution to EVERYTHING and it’s the only thing that’ll make me happy? why do you LAUGH every time I want you to actually SEE me? Why can’t you TAKE ME SERIOUSLY?? Like I swear to fucking god im not a clown or a freak to laugh at all the time. Plus when I get mad at her for this shit she’s like “your just like your dad” like MF IF YOU KNEW MY DAD FOR MORE THAN ONE MONTH (she brags about it??) BECAUSE OF A FUCKING ARRANGED MARRIAGE AND DIDNT JUST MEET HIM ON A PHONE CALL SITUATED BY A MATCHMAKER YOU WOULD KNOW THAT HE HAS BIG FAT FUCKING ANGER ISSUES AND THAT THEY WOULD HAVE PASSED DOWN TO YOUR CHILDREN—that’s not my fucking fault??

And don’t even get me started on my dad because he’s lived in this country for over fifteen years yet he literally knows NOTHING about it? On Saturday it took me five whole minutes to explain to him how my friend didn’t know she was having a party (it was a surprise) so she didn’t invite anyone. And he kept interpreting it wrong like OMG it’s not hard 😭😭 and imagine this but about stuff I like, he can never and probably never will understand my hobbies.

Honestly I’m pretty sure my followers who check in on my blog every once in a WHILE know more about me than they do. other than yall, idk who else I’d talk to about this. I’m super proud of you if you read through all of that 💗💗 this entire thing was in one mega paragraph so be glad I broke it down. my mom is calling me down rn for some family shit so 👋

#hasini yaps ♡#venting #tw vent #tw parental issues #tw parental neglect

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abidethetempest · 3 days ago

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Eliksni Conditional Mood

This post is part of my ongoing project to create a language for the Eliksni! For more information check out my masterpost linked here.

Recently, I added a new mood to my verb system: the conditional. It somewhat overlaps with the hypothetical but, it expresses the fact that an event is possible/likely, IF another event happens first.

This post got pretty long, so look for the deets under the readmore!

The most obvious case of this would be in statements containing the word "if". "If x happens, y will happen." In English, the use of "will/would" is how the conditional mood is often marked. In Eliksni, you use the particle kas.

Examples

Thal kas biir klii, kas priistun klii. "If you look, you will find."

Thal kas biirem klii, kas priistem klii. "if you looked, you would find."

NOTE:

This is a different meaning from the simple future tense statement, Priistun klii, which in English also translates to "You will find it." The difference is that that statement is not dependent on another event to cause it to happen. In both statements, "priistis" is conjugated for the future tense, because the act of finding is happening in the future.

Conditionality can also be expressed about the past, as in example 2. It also is not restricted to simple verbs, continuous and perfect aspects can be applied to verbs in the conditional mood, the tenses and aspects just need to match across both statements. This use of the conditional cannot be applied to present-tense statements.

Also, both verbs in a conditional statement such as this need to be accompanied by the particle. The best way to remember this is that the conjunction thal, "if", always causes the conditional particle to appear.

There are another use for the conditional mood besides plain "if-statements" like the above, which is polite expressions of wanting.

It is perfectly valid to say:

Nuls neh empuursis, "I want to sleep."

But a more polite, formal way of saying you want something is to use the conditional mood:

Nuls neh, giire kas empuursun. "I want, that I would sleep."

The reason it's considered polite is, well. Not based in anything super logical to be honest, but it originated from some thoughts I had that the thing you want being conditional on your wanting it makes it more of a request than a demand. Sort of like the difference between "want" and "would like".

It's also a way to soften a request when you want someone else to do something.

Instead of:

Nuls neh aklii anen amyksis. "I want you to follow me." or Niidreh amyks anen. "Please follow me."

You would say:

Nuls neh, giire aklii anen kas amyksun. "I want, that you would follow me."

Nulsis is not the only verb you can use in these statements either. Freyis "to need", griiris "to hope/wish", and even liidravis could also be valid.

Notes about "future-in-the-past": In English, the auxiliary verb "would" is used sometimes to express things that happen in the future relative to an event that happened in the past. You see this in statements like "I said I would sleep." The would there is expressing that the "sleep" happened after the "said", so in the future..... but also in the past. In an effort to help anyone doing translations who runs across this sort of construction, I am saying here and now: MY ELIKSNI CONLANG DOES NOT USE THE CONDITIONAL MOOD TO EXPRESS FUTURE-IN-THE-PAST.

"But Indee," I hear you ask, "how do you say things like "I said I would sleep", then?"

Like this: Ehlanem neh, giire neh empuursun. Literally, "I said, that I will sleep."

Technically, the second part of this statement being in simple future tense means it could happen anytime in the future, including after the present moment. However, without a word specifiying which time in the future the sleep part will happen in, such as "now, soon, tonight, tomorrow, later", etc., this statement is interpreted as future-in-the-past.

Sorry if things got a little confusing at the end there! Time stuff can be such a hassle to try and explain. As always feel free to reach out to me directly if you need clarification on something :)

#destiny 2 #destiny #eliksni #conlang #indee's eliksni conlang adventure

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steamedlotusroot · 1 day ago

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I translated Lego Monkie Kid’s Cantonese Extended Opening

youtube

In the tags of my first post I said I wanted to translate the lyrics of the extended OP of the LMK Cantonese dub and I did it :D

Translation notes: (some translations are wonky bc either the og lyrics are ambiguous, I didn’t have enough space to translate the phrases fully, or my Cantonese is rusty)

“All reveal your true forms to me immediately!”— 現形 means to appear/reappear, but I personally interpreted it as the spirits/demons showing their true forms when SWK is fighting them

“I truly can’t help how popular I am these days.”— One of my wonky translations I think. The og lyric is more like “really, I’m trending right now, I can’t stop it even if I wanted to / even if I tried.”

“But now I have to hide away,”— The lyric for “hide away” 神隱 very specifically refers to gods/immortals/spirits going into hiding

“From now on, keep the Golden Staff with you at all times,”— In the original JttW text, SWK’s staff is called the 金箍棒 “gold-hooped staff/rod”, but in Cantonese the staff is more commonly called the 金剛棒, which doesn’t have the “hoop” character. It’s just a gold stick

“Only rely on having enough audacity,”— I think it’s supposed to be “have a lot of/enough courage” but it can also mean “audacity”, and since this song is about SWK and MK I think the word “audacity” fits them much better haha

“I will reach the peak for a competition of skill.”— This is an instance of Cantonese being so compressed and concise that I have no idea how to structure the sentence in English

“Endure for the sake of loyalty,”— 捱義氣 means doing a favor out of personal loyalty that you might not want to do (eg. you help your friend clean his car when you hate cleaning cars cuz he’s your bud!). I think “endure for the sake of loyalty” is a goofy way of translating this but I dunno what to write instead

“Assemble surprises.”— I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. This is a very literal translation

“The me today,”— Longer version: The me I am today

“Chock-full of abilities.”— OG lyrics 一身本領 go a little bit like “the whole body is full of skills/abilities”. I wanted to just write “full of talents” but “talent” isn’t quite accurate. I went with “chock-full” cuz it sounds funny

“Clash with fire in a duel,”— I like to think that this line refers to Red Son and I like Red Son :]

“Carrying an endless mission,”— I originally wrote “shouldering” instead of “carrying”, but because 懷 means “embrace/chest” or “harboring”, I thought “carrying” sounds less grueling and more accurate than “shouldering”

“Eyeballs looking around,”— “eyes staring wide and round” probably fits 眼仔睩睩 better, but hopefully “eyeballs” sounds wide and round enough?? And I wanted to turn it into an action so I described the eyes looking around like they’re on guard!

“Grappling arduously with the enemy,”— Lots of ways to translate 搏命: fighting for your life, wrestling for your life, blah blah blah. I hope “grappling” is evocative enough 😭

“Quick-witted actions, be clever,”— I’m not sure if it’s “quick-witted, actions sharp and clever” or “quick-witted actions, be sharp and clever” 💀 靈活 means “mentally flexible”, sharp醒 means “smart, clever, alert, quick-witted”, something like that

“It’s called the NSoFFM,”— The lyric lacks a pronoun in Cantonese so I’m not sure if it means “call me/you the NSoFFM”, “call for the NSoFFM”, “you’re called the NSoFFM”, or something else. I interpreted it as SWK listing a bunch of traits and saying “someone like this will be called the NSoFFM”

“Skyrocket to ascension / I rise at Flower Fruit Mountain.”— 飈升 means shooting up really quickly/suddenly. I’m not sure what “shooting up” means in this context so I kept it as vague as possible. I also translated 飈升 in two different ways “skyrocket to ascension” and simply “rise” even though both lyrics mean the same thing in Cantonese. “Skyrocket” is most accurate IMO, but it sounds weird by itself

“I always strive for self-improvement,”— The og is just “I forever self-strengthen”, which sounds weird to me so I expanded it

“When I wedge into the crack,”— No idea what this means?? I’m guessing it’s supposed to evoke the image of SWK jamming a weapon into a crack? Also I wanted to write “wedge into the fissure” but when I googled “fissure” it showed me results for anal fissures and I was so put off by it I just used “crack” instead, even though “crack” sounds much sillier than “fissure”

“Demons please relax, lest you lose control.”— Nothing to note, I just really like the original lyric. It’s so cocky and badass and SO Wukong (or MK!) /pos

“Use kindness as the mark of recognition,”— Not sure what this really means? I interpret it as “kindness is my goal/principle”, but 記認 means both “marking” and “recognize/remember” so uh

“Evildoing is difficult to regard as the elder brother,”— The og lyric sounds fine but trying to understand it is?? It’s not “evildoers”, it’s “the way/path of evildoing”, but then it says “it’s difficult to be an older brother (non-familial)” like who is it difficult for??? Also “brother” here means a fellow disciple/classmate under the same teacher/master/school, so like the relationship between SWK and the other pilgrims (except their master, of course)

“I can’t be beat to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky.”— The most egregious lyric IMO. I have absolutely no clue what it’s supposed to mean so maybe I’m just not that good at Cantonese??? It could be “I can’t beat to death swimming carefree at the edge of the sky” or “I can’t be beaten to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky”. The swimming part lacks a pronoun so idk who’s swimming? What is happening in this sentence?? Help??

“Risk your life when taking action,”— 拼命 either means “as hard as you can” or “risking your life”. I’m only assuming it means the latter because I interpret this as SWK lecturing MK on how to be a hero

“And the battle lineup is again full of wit,”— I can sorta grasp what this means, but idk how to write it in English. 陣容 means the appearance/formation of your battalion and can extend to mean the array of abilities in a certain lineup. Not sure how to actually describe this though 😭 also I used “clever” for sharp醒 earlier but changed it to “wit” here so it’d be a noun and sound like an ability or something

#if anyone speaks cantonese better than i do please correct my translations 😭#i replayed the song so many times while translating it hearing it now makes me wanna barf /lh #TIL there’s also an extended chinese mandarin version of the opening but the audio I found is squished and idk where to find the og #also there’s an extended japanese version! but i dont speak japanese haha #i could also translate the taiwanese mandarin and chinese mandarin versions but i’m tired + the canto version is the best!!!!!#in my totally correct opinion #i put way too much effort into this. it was fun but nobody will care about this as much as i do 💀#also it took me a few months to realize there’s a possibility local copyright issues make the original video inaccessible to some people 😭#lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk wukong #lmk sun wukong #lmk mk #lmk monkey king #lmk swk #lmk opening #lego monkie kid opening #translation #cantonese #chinese #new star of flower fruit mountain #花果山新星 #悟空小俠 #idk what else

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katyspersonal · 2 days ago

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The Pursuer (seems to) have a real name

Kind of reposting from a conversation with @shyce-overgod but I think it is worth pointing out that localisation team held another L (but really, when they do NOT...?) and obscured a name from description of the Ring of Blades!

In English localisation, you can see, it is just "mad knight of Alken", but in Japanese description (from this ( x ) page) there is a name:

アーケンの狂騎士として伝えられるアドガルズの得物を模した力の指輪装備者の物理攻撃力を高めるかつてこの地にあったふたつの国、アーケンとヴェインは、その祖を同じくしながらも激しく憎しみあう関係にあった

The first lines literally say 'A ring of power modelled after the weapon wielded by Adgals/Adgars (アドガルズ), mad knight of Alken'! I assume Adgars is a more likely version, as it appears to be similar to the real name Edgars, but whatever!

I at first was not thinking the ring itself referred to The Pursuer himself since the ring is said to be modelled after the mad knight's weapon and Pursuer uses just an Ultra Greatsword! But tbh after this conversation on the second thought, I can see how if Pursuer regrets his past of "sins" that he is trying to atone for, he'd have discarded his original weapon associated with that past and picked a new one! It is really up to interpretation! Besides, Pursuer is literally the ONLY character in the game with this ring, either original and both buffed versions!

Lack of name mentioned as the boss doesn't clash with anything, either! For example, when we fight Raime as a boss, he is just referred to as Fume Knight and his actual name is learned otherwise! Pursuer might similarly have his name obscured from the boss healthbar x)

I kind of.. like this idea, too. It is a nice name and feels fitting! But whether it is Pursuer's actual name or name of some other behind-the-scenes Alken guy's, in either case..... @ localisation team what the heck. -_- There was literally no reason to obscure legit NAME.

#dark souls #dark souls 2 #the pursuer #dark souls observation #dark souls reference #screenshots #dark souls headcanons

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pixiecaps · 5 hours ago

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posted this playlist a year ago today so i thought i’d be fun to explain the songs i chose. below i put a section of the songs that i really like and also translate the lyrics either into english or spanish so enjoy :3

Track 1: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - Deftones

“So for once in my life. Let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time. Lord knows it would be the first time”

Traducción: “Así que por una vez en mi vida. Déjame tener lo que quiero. Dios sabe, que sería la ultima vez. Dios sabe, que sería la primera vez.”

the song is basically someone who has gone through a lot of despair pleading to be allowed the little bit of happiness theyve gotten after a real rough life. with qroier i feel like he acknowledges he loses everything and everyone and its like him pleading in the song for this one exception. this song is also a cover of the original version by the smiths but i felt like the deftones version captured more of the sound and emotions qroier would feel expressing the sentiment. they also slightly change some lyrics like in that final verse they change from “lord knows it would be the first time” which is repeated twice in the smiths version to instead “lord knows it would be the last time” and then finally “lord knowing it be the first time.” which really fucking adds to how hopeless and blunt it all feels. the way i interpret line change is you know this is going to be the last time something good happens to me so its simultaneously the first and last for this person and theyre still begging for it while being aware of that.

Track 2: All I Think About Now - Pixies

“I remember we were happy. That’s all I think about now. If you have any doubt. I want to thank you anyhow.”

Traducción: “Recuerdo que fuimos feliz. Eso es todo en lo que pienso ahora. Si tienes alguna duda. Quiero darte las gracias de cualquier manera.”

this song for me is about jaiden and bobby and the family roier had with them. it’s like an after reflection of what they had and an apology to jaiden and bobby and himself in a way. just qroier being stuck in the past and feeling like he could’ve been so much better because he “failed” when maybe he isnt the judge of that. i really do imagine this as a conversation with jaiden in my head.

Track 3: And I Lover Her - Kurt Cobain

“A love like ours will never die. As long as I hold you near me.”

Traducción: “Un amor como lo nuestro nunca morirá. Mientras te tenga cerca de mi.”

another cover. i think its obvious the type of sound im going for and i really just wanted certain musicians to have a spot on the playlist. the way kurt sings this one was so perfect for roier that there was no way it didn’t get added. this one is a song dedicated to how qroier feels about cellbit. #1 spiderbit warrior reporting for duty.

Track 4: Blow Out - Radiohead

“In my mind and nailed into my heels. All the time killing what I feel. And everything I touch turns to stone.“

Traducción: “En mi mente y clavado en mis talones. Todo el tiempo mantando lo que siento. Y todo lo que toco se convierte en piedra.”

this one for me nails qroier’s feelings of feeling like everything he does and touches fucks up. captures the feeling pretty well.

Track 5: Otoño / Invierno - The Space Ocean

“Mi cuerpo duele otra vez. Está cansado de correr hacia eso que nunca podrá tener. Todo se empieza a desvanecer.”

Translation: “My body hurts again. It's tired of running towards what I’ll never be able to have. It's all starting to fade away.”

for me this song is a reaction to bobbys death particularly thinking of the timeframe after the rescue bobby mission and the day in the pool that he spent hours in dissociating. this song sorta captures how i perceive roiers feelings in that moment and what was going through his head. i really like the last part of that verse cause it all did begin to fade when bobby was confirmed never coming back. everything he had built after he had lost so much in the betrayal, his family, jaiden, his kid, his home, everything just slowly faded away and i imagine it felt familiar. he had experienced this already with spreen and missa etc. its a cycle he seems to be unfortunately tied to.

Track 6: Del Otro lado - Aevnu

“Qué va a pasar ahora que nada sucedió. Qué va a pasar ahora que somos tú y yo. Volteame a ver y dime qué voy a estar. Con todo esto creo que voy a enloquecer. Y me hundo en lo profundo de este mundo y solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti. Y me comen los segundos. Ya no escucho solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti.”

Translation: “What's going to happen now that nothing happened. What's going to happen now that it's just you and me. Turn to me and tell me that I'm going to be okay. With all this I think I'm going to go crazy. And I sink deep into this world and all I think about is you. All I think about is you. And the seconds are eating me up. I can’t hear anymore I just think of you. I only think of you.”

qroier uncertainty. post bobby death. early spiderbit. roier needing that saving from drowning in his own misery and finding comfort in cellbits company. just a lot of sadness mixed emotions and falling in love. also i did not realize how indie this song was until i couldn’t find lyrics anywhere and had to transcribe it myself to pick a verse i like kkkkkkkkkkk.

Track 7: Espacio Pequeño - Princesa Cereza

“Te siеnto como un grito bien guardado que me abraza еntre suspiros. Con tus dedos tocando mi piel. Amárrame y enrédame a tus ojos no me sueltes te lo pido. Aunque finjamos que todo está bien (no lo está).”

Translation: “I feel you like a well-kept scream that embraces me between sighs. With your fingers touching my skin. Tie me up me and entangle me in your eyes don't let me go I beg you. Even if we pretend that everything is fine (it's not).”

yet another little love song about cellbit. also more misery while loving. spiderbit really is a lot of we’re constantly going through so much pain and bullshit but we have each other. that’s whats keeping them both afloat.

Track 8: No Me Siento Mejor - Panico

“Cierro los ojos y escapo a ese lugar para no hundirme más. Pero esta sombra no me abandonará y el tiempo no se detiene jamás. No me siento mejor.”

Translation: “I close my eyes and I escape to that place so I don’t sink any deeper. But this shadow will not leave me and time never stops. I don’t feel better.”

incredibly short song. this one is more focused on the grief qroier felt around bobby’s death and again i go back to thinking about his day in the pool where spends so many hours there. i can picture him eyes closed floating in the water and thinking about that one day in the rose fields with bobby and jaiden to comfort himself but when he opens his eyes he can feel that grief stuck with him now and time is still going no matter how much he wishes for it to stop.

Track 9: Resentment - A Day To Remember

“No, I can't stop feeling like every day's exactly the same. With a one track mind I don't think I can change. Trapped in memories, stuck on replay, replay, replay.”

Traducción: “No, no puedo dejar de sentir que cada día es exactamente igual. Con una mente unidireccional que no creo que pueda cambiar. Atrapado en los recuerdos, atrapado en la repetición, repetición, repetición.”

you know. qspreen. and roiers issues with his revenge grudge anger. resentment. argh.

Track 10: Honey - Hole

“Why wasn’t I good enough to save you from destruction? And your end and my beginning, oh, they need no introduction.”

Traducción: “¿Por qué no fui lo suficientemente bueno para salvarte de la destrucción? Y tu final y mi principio, oh, no necesitan introducción."

bobby death song. no one talk to me

Track 11: I Guess - Mitski

“It's been you and me since before I was me. Without you, I don't yet know quite how to live. If I could keep anything of you I would keep just this quiet after you.”

Traducción: “Hemos sido tú y yo desde antes de ser yo. Sin ti, todavía no sé muy bien cómo vivir. Si pudiera conservar algo de ti me quedaría con este silencio después de ti.”

mandatory mitski inclusion. this one to me is sorta a dedicated song to the family structure roier had with bobby and jaiden. it’s a goodbye to them and a thank you.

Track 12: Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off

“So tell me how you're sleeping easy? How you're only thinking of yourself? Oh, show me how you justify telling all your lies like second nature. Listen, mark my words, one day (one day) you will pay, you will pay. Karma's gonna come collect your debt.”

Traducción: “Dime, ¿Cómo duermes tranquilo? ¿Cómo piensas solamente en ti? Muéstrame cómo justificas diciendo todas tus mentiras como segunda naturaleza. Escucha, marca mis palabras, un día (un día) pagarás, pagarás. El karma vendrá a cobrar tu deuda.”

qspreen song yayyy betrayal yayyy qroier anguish and anger yayyy revenge yayyy!!!!!

Track 13: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

“What have I become? My sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end.”

Traducción: “En qué me he convertido? Mi dulcísimo amigo, todos a quienes conozco se van al final.”

just qroier depression. his pain.

Track 14: Out Of Control - She Wants Revenge

“We can't slow down even if we tried. If the record keeps spinning so will I. She likes disco and tastes like a tear. Tells me don't stop dancing and she's pulling me near.”

Traducción: “No podríamos detenernos incluso si lo intentáramos. Si la canción continúa girando yo igual. Le gusta la discoteca y sabe a lágrima. Diciéndome ‘no te detengas’ y acercándome a ella.”

this one simply put is a melissa song. like from the pov of someone at casualonas dancing with her. iconic.

Track 15: ¿Dónde Estás? - Denso

“¿Dónde estás? ¿Adónde irás? No te puedo encontrar y no sé qué hacer. Si esté bien buscarte otra vez.”

Translation: “Where are you? Where will you go? I can't find you and I don't know what to do. If it's okay to look for you again."

as the title explains just a song that in my head roier sings it about cellbit after he leaves him on the island and hes like where are you? i also like that the last part of that line says again cause for spiderbit it is the second time qro has to look for cellbit and hes almost asking like you left me again will it be alright if i look for you again? the answer is yes.

Track 16: Se��orita Revolución - Bruses

“Cuando ella camina la poesía está en la calle. Y le parte su madre a cualquier wey miserable. Si la vez pasando más te vale ser amable. Y si no rompan todo que esta morra esta que arde”

Translation: “When she walks, poetry is in the street. And she'll beat the shit out of any miserable guy. If you see her having a bad time you better be kind. And if you don't, break everything, cause this bitch is on fire.”

another melissa song everyone cheer. shes a badass and im in love with her what else can i say?

Track 17: Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates

“I wouldn't if I were you. I know what she can do. She's deadly, man, she could really rip your world apart. Mind over matter. Oh, the beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart.”

Traducción: “No lo haría si fuera tú. Sé lo que puede hacer. Ella es mortal, hombre, podría destrozar tu mundo. Mente sobre materia. Oh, la belleza está ahí, pero una bestia está en el corazón.”

melissa again. yay!!!! ^_^ i think perfectly describes the tricking qquackity situation melissa is a man eater!!!!!!!

Track 18: Turista - Cazzeros

“Me encuentro en todos lados menos dónde quiero estar. Se siente tan vacío tener que volver a empezar. Soy un turista de emociones. Sin rumbo y sin soluciones. No quiero regresar siempre al mismo lugar.”

Translation: “I find myself everywhere but where I want to be. It feels so empty to have to start over. I am a tourist of emotions. Without direction and without solutions. I don't want to always return to the same place.”

the song kinda focuses on someone who feels like a wanderer without direction and purpose really and i think that applies to roier especially with his feelings. this ones fun to read into.

Track 19: Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

“And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood. And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down. And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down. I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood. I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.”

Traducción: Mientras caigamos, en esta piscina de sangre. Mientras nos acariciemos las manos, mientras caemos. En esta piscina de sangre, mientras caigamos. Veré tus ojos, en esta piscina de sangre. Nuestras miradas se encontrarán, lo prometo para siempre.”

whenever i listen to this song i so vividly think of qroier and qcellbits conversation right before purgatory where they agree go down that path together and theyre a sacrificial mess and theyre willing to do anything and theyre in it together. thats what this song captures for me and just like the song it does feel like their death and the downfall you know? theyre in that pool of blood together.

Track 20: Si No Te Hubieras Ido - Marco Antonio Solis

“No hay nada más difícil que vivir sin ti. Sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar. El frío de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti. Y no sé dónde estás. Si no te hubieras ido, sería tan feliz.”

Translation: “There is nothing more difficult than living without you. I’m suffering in the wait of watching you return. The chills of my body ask for you. and I dont know where you are. If you hadn’t left me, I’d be so happy.”

this one doesnt need much of an explanation. cinta one song. spiderbit. roier sadness and yearning and longing and desperation over cellbit. the usual. i actually did a whole post breaking down this song here!

Track 21: Siempre Te Voy a Querer - Arroba Nat

“Perdón por no estar a tu lado. En mi mente yo te llevo a diario. Son tantos recuerdos que guardo en mi corazón. Siempre te voy a querer. Y espero que el tiempo a mi lado no sea tan malo porque soy difícil de entender.”

Translated: “Sorry for not being by your side. In my mind I carry you daily. There are so many memories that I keep in my heart. I will always love you. And I hope the time by my side wasn’t so bad because I'm hard to understand.”

this one for me a song dedicated to bobby. particularly after losing him and roier sorta just reflecting. longing for a past you cant get back even.

Track 22: Crecer - Las Ligas Menores

“Está muy mal si ya nada de verdad me importa? Está muy mal si ya no confío en nadie? Está muy mal si ya no creo en ciertas cosas? Como el cielo es azul y el odio no duele.”

Translated: "Is it very bad if nothing really matters to me anymore? Is it very bad if I don't trust anyone anymore? Is it very bad if I no longer believe in certain things? Like the sky is blue and hate doesn't hurt."

lets give a round of applause to post betrayal depression.

Track 23: The Blood - The Cure

“Tell me who doesn't love what can never come back. You can never forget how it used to feel. The illusion is deep its as deep as the night. I can tell by your tears you remember it all.”

Traducción: “Dime quién no ama lo que no puede volver. No puedes olvidar nunca cómo se sentía. La ilusión es profunda tan profunda como la noche. Puedo darme cuenta, por tus lágrimas, que lo recuerdas todo.”

longing and nostalgia. and what if i said this was a song about qspreen. particularly about roiers memories with him and inability to let go of the past. being unable to move on.

Track 24: Un Amor Violento - Los Tres

“Cuando por primera vez te vi supe que el cielo era para ti. Y para mí. Y para ti y para mí. Nunca más podré dormir, nunca más podré soñar con nadie que no seas tú. Gastaré toda mi vida en comprar la tuya. Gastaré toda mi vida. Y más.”

Translated: “When I saw you for the first time, I knew heaven was made for you. And for me. For you and for me. I could never sleep again, I could never dream again with anyone that isn't you. I will spend my whole life in buying yours. I will spend my whole life. And more.”

cellbit. song about cellbit. roier in love. so in love.

Track 25: Bleed Out - The Mountain Goats

“There was a chance we'd make it through this. It's safe to say now that we've missed it. And I won’t ever lose hope and I haven’t lost hope. I’m just realistic. I will go down punching, but I will go down. And my corner men won’t bring me back around. Bleed out, I'm gonna bleed out.”

Traducción: "Había una posibilidad de que saliéramos de ésta. Es seguro decir ahora que la hemos perdido. Y nunca perderé la esperanza y no la he perdido. Simplemente soy realista. Caeré a puñetazos, pero caeré. Y mis esquineros no me traerán de vuelta. Desangraré, me desangraré.”

roiers constant struggle with the federation and acknowledging the likely morbid end. this ones fun to read into.

Track 26: Blood & Fire - Type O Negative

“Moi cherie, you remain a mystery to me. I see your face in every flame. With no answers I have only myself to blame. Of all the women that I have known - they're not you. I'd rather be alone.”

Traducción: "Moi cherie, sigues siendo un misterio para mí. Veo tu rostro en cada llama. Sin respuestas, sólo puedo culparme a mí mismo. De todas las mujeres que he conocido - no son tú. Prefiero estar solo.”

spiderbit song particularly after cellbit stayed on the island and roiers sorta rage. usually with these songs i picture a music video in my head and with the lyric of the flame i always imagine it showing the flame from all of cellbits cinematics. directing a whole music video in my head with every reference in the world.

Track 27: Si Yo No Te Tengo a Ti - Hombres G

“Yo no tengo nada que me haga sonreir. Nadie que me abrace fuerte y me haga feliz. No tengo nada que hacer. No tengo porque vivir. No tengo nada de nada, si no te tengo a ti. Solo quiero que estés cerca de mí.”

Translated: “I don’t have anything that makes me smile. Nobody to hug me tightly and that makes me happy. I have nothing to do. I don't have a reason to live. I have nothing at all, if I don't have you. I just want you to be near me.”

more roier depression over cellbit leaving him.

Track 28: Un Millón de Primaveras - Vicente Fernández

“Te molesta aguanta por favor. Te lo juro estoy a punto de olvidarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Unos cuantos siglos solo he de adorarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Después de eso ya no vuelvo a molestarte.”

Translated: “It bothers you, please bear it. I swear to you, I am just about to forget you. All that’s left is a million springs. Just a few centuries is all I need to adore you. All that’s left is a million springs. After that, I will not bother you again.”

this ones on the playlist cause its what he sang to bobby during día de los muertos and i think about that a lot. this song is about a father and son relationship specifically as a tribute after the musician who produced and wrote the song lost his son (he doesnt sing it however) so the fact qroier sang it to bobby sorta eats me alive and makes me sob.

Track 29: The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

“You're keeping in step in the line. Got your chin held high and you feel just fine. Cause you do what you're told. But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold. Just how deep do you believe? Will you bite the hand that feeds? Will you chew until it bleeds?”

Traducción: “Mantienes el paso en la línea. Mantienes tu frente en alto y te sientes muy bien. Porque haces lo que se te dice. Pero por dentro tu corazón es negro y esta vacio y es frio. ¿Qué tan profundo crees? ¿Morderás la mano que te da de comer? ¿La masticaras hasta que sangre?”

anti federation qroier sentiment song. this song itself is political so its fitting.

Track 30: Película - Perras On The Beach

“Quiero mil vidas. Al lado tuyo moriría. Pero de verdad esto es al final. Amor profundo. Pero la verdad te quiero hasta el final de este bello mundo. Me han apagado. No tengo el control. Ya no se ni como me siento.”

Translated: "I want a thousand lives. By your side I would die. But the truth is: this is, at the end, deep love. But the truth is: I love you until the end of this beautiful world. I have been turned off. I do not have the control anymore. I don't even know how I feel anymore."

i like to imagine roier singing this song during purgatory about cellbit particularly when hes with green gay ninjas and just fondly missing cellbit and reflecting on how much he loves him.

Track 31: Lo Que Construimos - Natalia Lafourcade

“Esta historia terminó, no existe. Lo que un día construimos, se ha esfumado. Pareciera que es más fácil dejarnos. Pero eres un fantasma conmigo caminando. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que no eres importante. Al contrario, yo te amé con toda el alma. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que lo perdimos, esto que nos duele. Aunque nos duele, es solo nuestro.”

Translated: “This story has ended, it no longer exists. What we had one day built has gone up in smoke. It seems easier for us to leave each other but you’re a ghost walking along with me. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think you aren't important. On the contrary, I loved you with all my soul. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think that we lost it. This pain of ours, even though it hurts us, it's ours alone.”

The song talks about the end of something two people built together so this is qroier and qjaiden for me. the family they built is gone and it’s the end of their story isnt it?

Track 32: Esta Es Pa No Pensar - Sioqué

“Así no puedes seguir, tienes que pensar en ti. No saben como estoy. No saben como estoy cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola. No dejan de decir que la vida sigue por ahí quiero irme de aquí. Yo quiero irme de aquí. Cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola.”

Translated: “You can’t continue like this, you have to think of yourself. They don’t know how I am. They don’t know how I am when I’m alone. When I’m alone. They won’t stop saying that life keeps going I want to get out of here. I want to get out of here. When I’m alone. When I’m alone.”

this song focuses on themes of addiction and more generally people not noticing how much you may be struggling when youre alone. being at a point where you’re disregarding everything including your health and no one coming to save you. that level of low just reminds me of qroier despite him not actually dealing with any type of addiction. more-so the mentally spiraling whilst alone and no one noticing or coming to save you.

Track 33: La Muerte Chiquita - Café Tacvba

“Dame la muerte chiquita. Antes del último sueño. Una cosa a Dios yo pido. Un segundo ser su dueño. La venganza es cosa dulce. Y este machete que tengo es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted me muero. Es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted... Dicen que usted trae las sombras y por dentro está toda herida. Por una noche en su lecho soy capaz de dar la vida.”

Translated: “Give me death, little one. Before the last sleep. I ask one thing of God. To be your owner for one second. Vengeance is a sweet thing. And this machete that I have is in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would die. It's in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would… They say that you bring the shadows and inside are all hurt. For one night in your bed I'm capable of giving my life.”

another spiderbit song focused on qroier willing to give it all for cellbit and to protect him. and being down bad tremendously.

Track 34: Knives Out - Radiohead

“I want you to know. He's not coming back. Look into my eyes. I'm not coming back. So knives out. Catch the mouse. Don't look down. Shove it in your mouth.”

Traducción: “Quiero que sepas. Que él no va a volver. Mírame a los ojos. Yo no voy a volver. Entonces cuchillos fuera. Atrapa al raton. No mires hacia abajo. Mételo en tu boca.”

this song can be interpreted in a lot of ways but to me ive always listened to it under the lens of someone close to you dying. in the case of qroier its about bobby to me. and the violent aspects of the song reminded me a lot of purgatory for roier. particularly how with bobby’s death roier never came back in a way. he was never the same again. all he craved after that was vengeance.

alternatively you can look at this song completely differently and make it about qroier and doied and that completely changes the way you listen to it. very fun song.

Track 35: Selfless - The Strokes

“Please don't be long, 'cause I want you now. I don't have love without you around. Life is too short, but I will live for you.”

Traducción: “Por favor, no tardes, porque te quiero ahora. No tengo amor sin ti cerca. La vida es muy corta, pero viviré por ti.”

another song focusing on roiers devotion for cellbit particularly after cellbit has left him after purgatory.

Track 36: Paint It, Black - The Rolling Stones

“I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door I must have it painted black. Maybe then, I'll fade away. And not have to face the facts. It's not easy facing up. When your whole world is black.”

Traducción: “Miro dentro de mí y veo quе mi corazón es negro. Veo mi puеrta roja, debo tenerla pintada de negro. Tal vez entonces me desvanezca y no tenga que enfrentar los hechos. No es fácil enfrentarlo cuando todo tu mundo esta negro.”

more qroier depression particularly thinking of whenever he’d switch his skin to the one with the black hoodies.

Track 37: Brain Stew - Green Day

“My mind is set on overdrive. The clock is laughing in my face. A crooked spine, my senses dulled. Past the point of delirium. On my own, here we go.”

Traducción: "Mi mente está puesta en sobrecarga. El reloj se ríe en mi cara. Una columna torcida, mis sentidos embotados. Pasado el punto del delirio. Todo solo... allá vamos.”

qroier during purgatory song. that being one of the first times hes actually on his own and i feel like song capture his attitude during that moment. i also like it since irl roier was sick so i kinda like to imagine qroier was also feeling like shit not just from the fighting but cause he was a little ill himself.

Track 38: Reuse The Cels - Car Seat Headrest

“Will it be like before? Will I lose you again? If we reuse ourselves could there be any other end?”

Traducción: “Sera como antes? Te perderé otra vez? Si nos volvemos a utilizar podría haber otro final?”

this is written as a breakup song but i like to think of it in the context of qroier getting pepito and all the doubts he had about him considering everything he went through with bobby. reusing in this context for me would be using himself as parent of an egg again.

Track 39: She’s so Mean - Matchbox Twenty

“Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy. She'll turn the knife into your back and then she's calling you 'baby'. Crazy”

Traducción: “De vez en cuando ella te vuelve un poco loco. Ella va a girar el cuchicllo en tu espalda y luego te esta llamando 'bebe'. Loca.”

melissa song!!!!! <33 her sass her attitude her hard to get self. the mean part really channels roiers vibe when he tricked quackity in this song.

Track 40: Maneater - Nelly Furtado

“She's a maneater, make you work hard. Make you spend hard, make you want all of her love. She's a maneater, make you buy cars. Make you cut cards, wish you never ever met her at all.”

Traducción: “Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace trabajar duro. Te hace gastar duro, te hace querer todo su amor. Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace comprar coches. Te hace cortar tarjetas, te hace desear que nunca la hubieras conocido.”

another melissa song<33 just like songs that point out how she uses men and whole reason for existing was to trick quackity. also that shes hot.

Track 41: First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

“Yours was the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you. And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been but I know where I want to go.”

Traducción: “Tu cara fue el primero que ví. Creo que era ciego antes de conocerte. Ahora no sé donde estoy, no sé dónde he estado pero sé a dónde quiero ir.”

roier in love with cellbit song. thinking of how they were the first people they saw through that glass. how after that the course of roiers life was changed.

Track 42: Back to the Old House - The Smiths

“Here began all my dreams. The saddest thing I've ever seen. And you never knew how much I really liked you. Because I never even told you. Oh, and I meant to. Are you still there or have you moved away? Or have you moved away? I would love to go back to the old house. But I never will.”

Traducción: “Aquí comenzaron todos mis sueños. Lo más triste que he visto jamás. Y tú nunca supiste lo mucho que me gustabas. Porque ni siquiera te lo llegué a decir. Oh, y lo intente. ¿Aún estás allí o te has ido? ¿O te has ido? Me encantaría ir de vuelta a la antigua casa. Pero nunca lo haré.”

this song for me focuses a lot on the original wooden community house roier had with missa spreen and mariana. the first lyric of here all my dreams began is able all the scope roier had in the beginning especially with his dream of opening a taco shop.

also could apply to much later when the egg event started and all his dreams of a winning family with bobby and jaiden beginning in that house as well.

going back to roiers relationship with spreen the lyric you never knew how much i liked you cause they were truly best friends but it was not exactly explicitly stated by roier ever and they didnt really talk about how they felt but roier really really cared about spreen and its shown through his actions pre betrayal.

and never going back to that house is like roier reflecting on all of this in a reality where he made it to that new place on the island and he had to let go of that community home he had built and everything that happened there. lots of different ways you can see this song because it was connected to so many different people who stayed there.

Track 43: Bodysnatchers - Radiohead

“I have no idea what I am talking about. I'm trapped in this body and can't get out.”

Traducción: “No tengo idea de lo que estoy hablando. Estoy atrapado en este cuerpo y no puedo salir.”

this ones pretty self explanatory. roier identity crisis song taking place upon him realizing he literally isnt in his own body!! yay!!

Track 44: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi - Radiohead

“I'd be crazy not to follow. Follow where you lead. Your eyes, they turn me.”

Traducción: “Sería una locura no ir. Ir adonde tu vas. Tus ojos, me transforman.”

the uncertainty that comes with fighting against the federation and escaping the island. pushing past that. hes diving in cause cellbit pushes him further. he’s going down that path with him. getting eaten by the worms like doied and the federation. hitting the bottom and escaping which you can interpret in your own way. this entire song is interesting to interpret in your own way.

Track 45: Brutus - The Buttress

“And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing for untimely death or demise. Or am I just wishing I could be like you?”

Traducción: “Y estaría mintiendo si dijera que no deseaba una muerte prematura o un fallecimiento. ¿O simplemente estoy deseando poder ser como tú?”

doied song from doied pov in the qroier playlist my god he even took over his body here!! less about the lyrics and more about the actual story being told.

Track 46: No One Noticed (Extended Spanish) - The Marias

“Estás, tan dentro de mí. Te sigo pensando. Te sigo esperando. Y estás, oh, tan lejos de mí, oh. Te sigo pensando. Me canso llorando.”

Translation: "You are, so deep inside of me. I keep thinking of you. I keep waiting for you. And you're, oh, so far away from me, oh. I keep thinking of you. I get tired crying."

no one noticed did they. except for cellbit. roier needed him so desperately. then he left him like everyone else.

everyones free to interpret all these songs however they want for qroier. also i still add songs whenever i feel so this post will also likely keep being updated with time :3

qroier playlist: tears and the smell of blood

#if you see any typos shhhhh #this took. a long time.

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