#but deleted it an hour later.. for some reason..
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acesofspadess · 1 day ago
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Track Walk
landoscar x content creator!reader
part 1
series summary: You were invited to the Miami GP for your Track Walk series on social media, what follows after you run into a certain Papaya boy, no one could prepare you for...
series warnings: cursing, angst, smut, making out, mentions of people you may not like, mmf, threesome/throuple, if there is more let me know... ;)
a/n: this a long 4 part series, but the chapters will be released daily!! also... there is no hate to anyone mention in this story, it is a work of fiction and any hate towards the characters/people will be deleted.
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Miami 2024 
“Hello lovely F1 fans!” You said to the camera you were holding quite close to your face, “We’ve got a bit of a different setting today, because we are at the…” You took the camera away from your face to show the full setting, “Miami GP!”
You were a small F1 content creator who had become known for your at home ‘track-walks’. Every Thursday you would walk around your neighbourhood or get on the treadmill and walk the length of the race circuit for the weekend.
“This is my first ever GP, as you all know, and I just can’t explain to you all how excited I am. A big thank you to Liquid IV for sponsoring this trip, and this video. We are starting at the P1 box, because obviously. We’ve got a total of 5.4 kilometers to walk, so let's get to it.”
Throughout the walk you filmed information on the track, the city, the race, and even some snippets of fans who happened to know who you were.You were doing a light run when at one point in the video you saw a group of papaya and flipped the camera at them and slowed to a light jog, “I think those are our papaya boys, if I’m not mistaken.” You whispered into the mic. As you jogged past them you looked up and saw it was just Lando with some of his team. 
“Good luck this weekend.” You called out as you surpassed them. “Cheers!” Lando called out with a small smile. You smiled back and continued with your jog and video. “Meeting Lando Norris, can check that off the bucket list.” You laughed softly to the camera. When you made it back to the P1 box you started to end the video. “Well that was so much fun, thank you again to Liquid IV for bringing me out here. Cheers to a hopefully amazing weekend.”
An amazing weekend it was indeed. That Sunday you watched Lando Norris get his maiden win. It was safe to say you were crying in the VIP box as he crossed the line. That night you went back to the hotel with endless happiness, your life couldn’t get any better. Or so you thought.
You woke up that morning to your phone buzzing relentlessly. Every two seconds it felt like someone was liking, commenting, and following you. You sat up in shock logging into tiktok to see that your most recent track walk video had jumped from a few thousand views and likes, to millions of each, and your follower count was soaring as well.
You went through some of the comments laughing at them saying this was your first grand prix and it was the best one ever. Some said you wishing him luck was the reason he won and you replied to those comments teasingly.
It was a few hours later when you were getting ready to head back home that you saw the best notifications. 
Lando Norris liked your video
Lando Norris commented on your video
You were thoroughly freaking out. You opened tiktok for the hundredth time that day to see if your eyes were deceiving you, they were not.
Lando Norris: "Maybe this was my lucky charm. Thanks for the good vibes! 🧡"
You screamed in the comfort of your hotel room as you read it, replying back.
“I’ll need to come to a lot more races this season if this is the outcome. Congratulations! 🧡”
Hungary 2024
A few weeks had passed since Miami and everything that came with it. You still continued on your content journey with track walks and other videos with your new following. “Hello lovely F1 fans, old and new. We are here with another special edition track walk!” You cheered showing your surroundings. “I’ve been doing some overtime and made my way to the Hungaroring, so let’s go on a walk…” 
The walk itself went as normal, shared some info, showed the surroundings, and made it seem like a facetime time call. It was almost comical how when you were walking off the track you actually bumped into someone, that someone being Oscar Piastri. “I’m so sorry, I was not paying any attention.” You apologised immediately. He just chuckled, waving you off. “Don’t worry about it. Making a video?” He said looking at the camera. You nodded shyly. “Yeah another track walk.” He nodded at the information, slowly getting awkward. “Well, in true fashion. Good luck this weekend.” You bid and he thanked you with a chuckle.
Once again, it was a Mclaren win. This time, it was for Oscar. You were starting to go a little crazy. How was it that everytime you came to a race McLaren won? Again your video blew up, and like clock work, Oscar commented.
Oscar Piastri liked your video
Oscar Piastri commented on your video
You opened the video and tapped on the comments to see what he had put…
Oscar Piastri: Guess I owe you a huge thank you for the good luck wishes. Let's see if this works every time!”
You giggled lightly at the comment before writing a reply back…
“I’d go to every race if I could! Congratulations !!!”
Zandvoort 2024
Over the summer break you worked endlessly on your upcoming finals for your graduation in December. You were missing F1, and needed your fix. In a last ditch attempt at getting your best friend to come with you, you ended up back in Zandvoort.  “Hello F1 friends! We are here in Zandvoort, home of Max Verstappen. We’ve got lots of orange here so I’m just going to say everyone is in papaya.” 
There was no meeting on track this go around, but that night just as you were getting ready to call it, you got a DM from McLaren. You thought it was just a community thing and glanced at it, but when you saw your name, you sat up quickly. You opened it with shaky hands and read the message:
“Hey Y/N!! Hope you're enjoying your weekend in Zandvoort so far! You’ve got a name here in McLaren and we want to invite you to spend the rest of the weekend with the team in the garage! If you send us a photo of yourself, we can get you your passes by morning! Just give us a call when you get there and let us take care of everything else.” 
It was safe to say you might be receiving a noise complaint from your neighbours. Immediately you grabbed your camera and turned it on. “Hi friends, I’m shaking right now,” you laughed in shock. “McLaren just invited me to their garage this weekend. What the fuck?!” You showed the camera your phone where the message was still up. “Your girl is going to the McLaren garage, which means vlog time.”
You cut the video there and replied to McLaren with immense gratitude and a photo.
Walking up to the paddock entrance you had phoned McLaren and let them know you were walking up. You saw someone in Papaya and they waved at you enthusiastically. She passed you your passes over the barrier so that you could scan in. “This is crazy.” You said while she laughed. “I run all the social media accounts, and when I saw your videos I just had to pull some strings for you. You’re genuine, we like that at McLaren.” She told you honestly and you smiled bashfully. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
She then gave you a run through of everything happening in the garage, in the hub, and in the paddock revolving McLaren. The paddock wasn’t new to you, but this whole experience was strange to you. “And then you have a scooter to get around as well. Just don’t hit anyone because papaya is an easy colour to notice.” You laughed with her knowing how true it was. “I’ll do my best.”
You bounced between sides all morning, watching the teams set up the car for Lando and Oscar. You loved both drivers equally, you would never be able to choose one. You were on Lando’s side not paying much attention to your surroundings when two bodies stood in front of you. You looked up to get out of the way when you saw Oscar and Lando. “Following us now?” Lando asked with a smile. “I should ask you the same thing.” You shot back and Oscar chuckled. “They told us this morning you would be here for the rest of the weekend. It’s nice to see you.” Lando nodded in agreement and smiled happily. “It was a last minute decision to come,” you told them, “and then I got invited into the garage, it’s definitely going to be a good weekend.” The three of you laughed softly knowing the hidden meaning. “Well I’m certainly looking forward to a win this weekend.” Oscar shared. “She was my lucky charm first.” Lando pointed out. “Don’t fight!” You laughed, “I’ll be cheering the both of you on, see?” You took off your hat to show the underside of the brim. Each side had a number on it. “I stitched two of them together.” You informed. “That’s actually really cool.” Oscar said, taking the hat for a closer look.
“Your nails! Osc look at them.” Lando said taking your hands in his and showing off your nails, one hand was dedicated to Lando and his famous helmet design, and the other side was Oscars helmet design with a croissant on the ring finger. “Very funny.” He said when he saw it. “It was this or a cat.” You shrugged and Lando laughed as Oscar shook his head.
“Boys!” The two drivers looked behind them to see the clock counting down. “I will not be the reason you two don’t win this weekend so do go.” You pushed them lightly. “Thank you for coming, we’ll chat again later.” Lando said, going in for a hug. “Of course, go top both practices.” You cheered as Oscar also gave you a hug before the both of them went to their respective sides of the garage.
f1gossipofficial 
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liked by user4 and others
f1gossipofficial Who’s that? Today before FP1 both McLaren drivers were seen talking and hugging with someone in their garage. In a different view, we can see that the person is content creator Y/N L/N who has gone viral for being the duo’s ‘good luck charm’. The three seem to be very cosy considering they’ve never officially met. 
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user4 THAT SHOULD BE ME
user5 she posted a mini vlog on her tiktok this morning! She said McLaren dm’ed her and asked for her to be in the garage
User9 awwe that’s so sweet of McLaren to do for her 
user6 something about her doesn’t seem right
user7 don’t start, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve seen on tiktok
user8 another McLaren win is incoming
The following two days of the weekend were spent filming and nerding out over being in the garage. Lando and Oscar of course got super busy over the following two days, but they still managed to give you a wave when they could. Watching the race from the garage and hearing the live feed, watching the pit crew get ready for the pit stops, the actual pit stops, it was beyond magical for you. And without fail, one of the boys won, this time in Lando’s favor by 20 seconds.
You got to celebrate with the team, some of them recognising you and saying you needed to be here more often. Days like this were what you dreamed for. In between the chaos, you never managed to say goodbye to the papaya drivers, but they did DM you.
Lando Norris has followed you
Oscar Piastri has followed you
You’ve been added to a groupchat with Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri
Your eyes almost flew out of your head when you saw the notifications. This wasn’t happening, you thought but you clicked on it anyway.
Lando Norris: We didn’t get the chance to say goodbye, but we just wanted to thank you for your support and coming to as many races as you can!
Oscar Piastri: Lando’s said it all, but hopefully you can come to another race soon, and we’ll try to win even if you can’t.
You laughed at the very opposite but almost the same message from each of them. Your hands were shaking as you replied back.
Y/N L/N: You were having too much fun celebrating the win! A big thank you to you guys as well for making it so easy to support a great team. Hopefully I can get to a race soon! If not I’ll be watching from home still cheering you guys on!
Oscar Piastri: you don’t have to be so formal 😂I feel like we can call you a friend if you keep helping us win
Lando Norris: what osc said, don’t be a stranger.
Y/N L/N: no need to bully me! You’re a-listers! How else was i supposed to respond
Lando Norris: OMG!!! I can’t believe you texted me!! You followed me too OMG OMG OMG. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH 🧡🧡🥰🥰🥳🥳 ASGKWBEWOEHJ
Oscar Piastri: like that ^^
Y/N L/N: that’s what I’m doing on the inside lol, but i think I would block myself if I did actually typed that
Lando Norris: yeah it was a bit weird to type 😂
Oscar Piastri: great, now I have two of you
You tilted your head at the comment but shook it off. You were pretty similar to Lando on the goofy side of things.
Y/N L/N: Don’t worry Oscar, when I’m not on an adrenaline high like I am right now, I’m more like you than you think
Lando Norris: great, now there’s two of you
Oscar Piastri: i’ll have to see this in person then
Y/N L/N: is that an invite I’m hearing?
Lando Norris: sounds like it to me.
Oscar Piastri: it was indeed.
Y/N L/N: i’ll see what my work and class schedule looks like and I’ll get back to you on that offer. Graduation is soon so i’m balancing a lot of things
Lando Norris: its my offer too!!!!!!
Oscar Piastri: what do you go to school for?
Y/N L/N: noted Lando, and sports journalism, dream job is to work in F1.
Lando Norris: That’s mint! I think you’ll do good
Oscar Piastri: you’ve got a very warming personality that I’m sure all the drivers will like. If you ever need to practise, we’re here.
Lando Norris: If you twist my words I’ll know you did it
Oscar Piastri: Lando!
Y/N L/N: Lando!! 😭 I promise I won’t, this season especially really helped push me into this because I hate the way the media portrays two/three of the nicest people ever.
Lando Norris: i know we’re the two…but who’s three
Oscar Piastri: guess 🦁
Lando Norris: NOOOOOOOOO
Lando Norris: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEE
Oscar Piastri:  😂😂😂
Y/N L/N: IM SORRY!!! I CAN’T HELP IT!!
Y/N L/N: Oscar!! Why would you throw me under like that!!
Oscar Piastri: *this user is no longer available*
Lando Norris: invite has been taken back.
Y/N L/N: nooo!!! I’m sorry!!! OSCAR!!!!!
Oscar Piastri: *this user apologises for the chaos he has now unpacked*
Baku 2024
Within the three weeks that passed between Zandvoort and Baku, Oscar and Lando never stopped texting you. The three of you figured out you had a lot in common and clicked like magnets. Over that time, you had plenty of new followers and decided to do a Q&A on your tiktok.
“How am I able to go to so many GP’s? Are you a millionaire?” You laughed after reading the question. “I’m not a millionaire by any means. I saved up for about a little over a year, didn’t go out with friends unless it was a birthday, didn’t buy unnecessary stuff, just was really good with not spending so I could treat myself this year. I’m in my last months of uni, which I got a full scholarship for, so not having to worry about school costs is also a great help.”
“Have you spoken to Lando and Oscar since your time in the garage? They follow you now too.” You thought quickly about it, “I haven’t no,” oops. “They were just being polite and doing their jobs when they saw me in the garage. As for the following thing, I can’t tell you why they decided to do that, but I'm not complaining.” You chuckled.
“What are you studying in Uni?”
“I’m in my final months of my sports journalism major. That's why I’m a big fan of F1, but also F1 got me into journalism, it's a circle of interest.” You mimicked drawing a circle that never ends.
In those three weeks you had also moved your group chat out of Instagram.
Osco: Is it terrible to say I miss having you in the garage?
Landito: wow Osc, straight to the point
Osco: leave me alone
Y/N: if it's anything I miss being in the garage, but no it’s terrible
Landito: what he means to say is…. we miss seeing you in person
Osco: facetime isn’t enough
Osco: come to Baku?
Landito: we took back her invite remember?
Osco: you took back your invite…
Y/N: i’ll be there already
Landito: WAIT REALLY???
Osco: is this a prank?
Y/N: yes really
Y/N: and no not a prank
Osco: answer please
Your phone started ringing just as you read it. You were in no position to be facetiming two people you now had a crush on… yeah, that also happened over the three weeks. You tried to tell yourself they were just being nice and you were caught up, but the way they acted sometimes led you to believe otherwise.
“Why am I looking at the ceiling?” Lando pointed out. “Because I am in no way showing you what I look like right now.” You laughed at them. “Yes you are.” Oscar commented. “We facetimed you for a reason.”
“Face please.” Lando asked sweetly, and you rolled your eyes. There you were in your McLaren x Reiss jacket, curls thrown up into a mix of a bun and ponytail, and glasses over your eyes. “You wear glasses?!” Lando said peeking over Oscar’s shoulder. They were always together, you started to realise.
“Yes, Lando. I wear glasses.” You shook your head with a small smile. “Well, you look beautiful as always. What’s this about you coming to Baku and not telling us?” Oscar moved on swiftly. “It was supposed to be a surprise! I was-”
“Nope, if it’s a surprise we shall wait.” Oscar cut her off. “I don’t want to wait though.” Lando groaned from behind him. “It’s in 2 days, Lando.” Oscar said, looking at the head that was now on his shoulder. “2 days too long.” He mumbled. “I promise it’ll be worth it!”
And worth it it was. After your track walk, there you were, the media pen, questions about the upcoming weekend ready, with an F1 TV microphone in your hand. F1 had reached out to you after your Q&A video asking about your sports journalism career. One thing led to another and here you were.
“Hey Max, first things first, how are you feeling this weekend?” Max smiled. “I mean, I’m feeling fine, I definitely need to get in the car to see how we do on track. Not very well if you’re here though.” 
“You know who I am?” You asked in shock. “All other drivers hope you don’t make it to the races with the track record you have, but someone told me I was one of your favourites.” Of course they did. “Well they wouldn’t be lying.” You chuckled shyly. 
Max leaned on the gate as you got your questions ready. "This year has seen a shift in the competitive order with McLaren and Ferrari stepping up. You’ve still proven to be one of the best drivers this season and currently lead the Drivers' Championship, with Red Bull fighting to stay at the top in the Constructors’. With three titles already under your belt, how do you maintain focus when the dominance you’ve grown used to in both championships isn’t guaranteed anymore—especially heading into a high-risk, high-reward circuit like Baku, where unpredictability often plays a major role?"
Max seemed a little shocked with the question. “I mean…” You nodded along as he answered and when he finished and the camera was off he smiled. “Those were very good questions. I look forward to seeing you the rest of the weekend.” You smiled at him. “Thank you, it means a lot.”
You got similar style compliments from other drivers and when the papaya boys walked in and spotted you they both smiled but had to work their way down the pen. Oscar was the first to get to your station. A quick glance to his eyes showed the professionalism he was using to hide the sheer excitement at seeing you again. “Hey Oscar, you’re going into this weekend with a double podium from Monza, how are you preparing for this weekend to get the same results if not better?”
Oscar chuckled. “Well if you’re here then a McLaren win seems to be in the cards.” You shook your head at him as he smirked. “But…”
“Thank you Oscar, good luck this weekend.” Before he left he reached over the barrier to give you a quick hug. “Nice to see you again.” He said before walking off. Lando quickly took his position and gave you his eye-closing smile. “Hey you.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Hey Lando, after the double podium in Monza, it’s clear that McLaren has made significant strides this season. With the Constructors' Championship in reach with just 11 points to Red Bull, how do you approach a circuit like Baku, where opportunities and risks are amplified? Do you feel this weekend could be pivotal in swinging the fight for the Constructors’ in McLaren’s favor against Ferrari as well?"
Lando tilted his head. “You’re one of the only people who’s brought Ferrari into the Constructors fight.” He pointed out and you shrugged lightly. “You’ve said before that Red Bull isn’t your competition, Ferrari is.”
Lando’s interview came and went just as quickly as Oscars and he too ended the interview with a hug. Charles and Carlos were just after and both of them mentioned knowing who you were and to take a stop at their garage.
The weekend went really well. Any free time you had was bouncing between garages and meeting new people. And like clock work, McLaren won the race, in Oscar’s favour. You were doing post race interviews and the wide smile on Oscar’s face when he saw you made your insides warm. “Please come to every race.” He joked and you laughed lightly. “Congratulations on your win today Oscar, after some very good fights with Charles…”
Because you had to go through every driver, and then got invited to talk about your experience on F1 TV-
“We are bringing on the voice you’ve heard all weekend, Y/N L/N.” Laura introduced as you walked into the middle of the group. “How are you?” She asked. “I’m doing really amazing. It’s been such a busy weekend for me, all thanks to you guys for inviting me and giving me some on the field action.”
Will Buxton spoke next. “You’ve become a big name here, everytime you come to a race, a McLaren driver wins. How is that even possible?”
You laughed alongside the rest of the panel. “I just put 50 kilos of extra weight in everyones car before the race this time. I think I’ll run the engine out next time though. Make everyone have grid-penalties.” You joked and they all laughed again. “It’s been so nice having you with us this weekend! We hope that you can join us again sometime soon!”
-you were able to stay much longer into the evening. Making your way to the McLaren garage you saw that they were prepping for a team photo and you quickly got your camera out to snap the moment for yourself. “No, you get in here too!” Zak yelled seeing you and the team cheered in agreement. You shook your hands not wanting to spoil it but then you were getting picked up from behind by a shoeless Lando and plopped right to Oscar.
Oscar placed an arm around you with a wide smile. “This is too much.” You told him. “Nope, it’s not.” He smiled again. You shook your head but smiled and cheered for the picture as well, and then the champagne. The team member next to you handed you their bottle with a wink at Oscar. Right as the photo ended you shook the bottle and made sure to douse Oscar as he tried to run away. Lando also joined you and the three of you were getting drenched in everyone else's champagne.
“There are two of you!” Oscar joked. “Yeah you might be right about that.” Lando laughed, clearing champagne from his eyes. “That was fun!” you laughed clinking Oscars champagne bottle. “You’ve got about 5 minutes before you start to smell.” He laughed and then your face fell. “I don’t have a change of clothes!” Lando laughed as you freaked out and Oscar just hugged you. “I’m sure we can find you something to wear.”
They did, you were wearing a team kit from their spare room in the hub. It was enough to get you to your hotel room. “Want to ride with us to the hotel?” Lando asked coming to walk with you as you reached the doors to walk out. “Yeah that sounds good.” He took your hand just as you were going to exit. “We have to wait for Oscar.” He said and you nodded and without letting go of your hand he dragged you back towards the main area.
“Did you enjoy your weekend?” He asked as you two leaned against a wall. “It was an amazing weekend.” You smiled giddily, closing your eyes. “I hope this doesn’t change that.” You opened your eyes to see Lando coming closer to you, eyes looking down at your lips. You nodded lightly and he closed the gap between your lips. His teeth nipped yours, with a sense of impatience. “Just couldn’t wait could you.” You broke away with his head resting against yours. Oscar. Why did you feel so guilty? “Oscar I-” He just shook his head with a laugh coming to your otherside. “I won, does that mean I get a kiss?” 
You looked at Lando who still had that dazed smile, then back to Oscar. “You didn’t tell her, did you?” He said and Lando shook his head. “We’re dating, now can I kiss you please?” He said quickly before taking your lips in his. His kiss was softer but still as impatient. “We’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He sighed when he pulled away. 
“Really?” You asked softly, hand coming to press against your tingling lips. “Yes, since we started texting you. Oscar and I just couldn’t get you out of our heads.” Lando said with a small smile. 
“I thought I was being delusional.” You chuckled softly. “Not at all.” Oscar's hand went to your hip softly squeezing. “Come to Singapore with us, please.” You looked at Lando who took your hand and held it in his own. “Please.” You nodded almost in a trance.
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velvetvexations · 12 hours ago
Note
what's crazy about you claiming to answer every anon is we both know that's a lie. it's extremely normal to not answer every anon you get. and yet you feel the need to lie about it? definitely not telling about your self-image. your followers don't care how you manipulate them but we both know :)
I answer something like 98% of them. Sometimes I don't because I don't like the way it's phrased, or I delete it accidentally, or some other miscellaneous reason. I'm ever so slightly more picky now because I get a fuckmillion a day so I can't even consistantly get to them within 24-hours anymore, but rn I have 28 in my inbox I'm working on getting to sooner or later.
It's still telling about my self-image because I have NPD and obsessively love engagement lol.
anyway pretty-kitten-paw I would truly prefer that you respect me having you blocked
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ssruis · 7 months ago
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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gingerbreadmonsters · 8 months ago
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oh this is going to be......... a problem actually
#me when i start wips i KNOW are going to be so much longer than i want them to be#I KNOW IT I FUCKING SEE IT IN MY MIND#every time Every Single Time#to make things even better it's vega and warden AGAIN#which is objectively not a bad thing because i love them deeply and intensely#but in terms of my bitter and hateful need to be externally validated this is some of the worst news possible because#what it inevitably means is tens of hours of my life in exchange for maybe 30 or 40 notes lmao#half of which are my own self rbs#head in HANDS. why cant i just like writing about characters that are easily and broadly popular#i should have conditioned myself harder into liking milo or asher or sam something#OR DAVID AND ANGEL. GOD my life would be so much easier if i liked david and angel#(you know full well this is not an attack on people who do like those characters. don't pretend like it is so you have an excuse to be rude#i say it every fucking time I AM NOT OWED ANYTHING I GET IT I UNDERSTAND#doesn't mean it's not disheartening to make tens of thousands of words and see almost no acknowledgement of it at all#yes again for the millionth time: nobody is OBLIGATED to like my writing or like the characters i write about YOU DON'T HAVE TO#once again: you KNOW that is not the thing i am bitching about here#i am a hateful spiteful bitch for DIFFERENT reasons#those reasons being i have a deeply insecure and desperate need for validation that no amount of 'art for art's sake!' can cure#art for art's sake is all well and good. doesn't ever seem to make me feel better though#delete later
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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waywardsalt · 10 months ago
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theres a lot abt post-ph ive never really mentioned. grants theres also a lot i havent figured out
#i only have a handful of arcs and scenes properly figured out i need to get my shit together with this. im def deleting this later#anyways. i dont think ive mentioned anything abt linebeck being more or less immortal#in the sense that like. he cant be killed through combat means. its some weird healing magic shit#specifically started with the intent that it lets me tear him apart repeatedly but its fine bc he heals anyways#with the limits of like. poison and sickness and certain things CAN kill him. but he can like. get disemboweled and its fine#im gonna delete this later im jsut thinking sbt it#i remember while talking to it with a friend he asked ok so how does it work if he gets torn evenly in half#cuz my logic is like. say he gets an arm cut off. the lost arm decays like normal and a new one kinda just slowly grows in bones first#so his question is one ive been thinking sbt since i need to come up with a good answer#anyways linebeck is fucked post ph hes got insane healing shit due to uhhhh reasons (i know the reasons) but hes still made of papier mache#so its like. bellum is more or less indestructible so hes the only actual immortal#while linebeck is just. prone to being a little more reckless. i need to tweak story stuff. hes the worst in combat#so hes very down to like. cutting a hand open to give bellum some of his blood. its fine itll heal in like an hour#the idea is that the healing becomes faster the longer it is since he gets that ability but there is a ceiling#its like a mixture between technically having phantom blood and some other god-ish deity interference i need to zero in on it dw#look i need it so that he can be covered in his own blood and in agony several times without like. him actually fucking dying from it
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olessan · 1 year ago
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
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#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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roaringheat · 1 year ago
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googles how not to maul someone after they joke about you being lazy cause your executive dysfunction is so bad that you can't even feed yourself
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babblingfishes · 20 days ago
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i am so fucking tired of ageist, ableist bullshit
if you genuinely think things like old age and chronic illness turns people into ""problem customers"" get the fuck off my blog
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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 7 months ago
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I thought hostage situations would be a bigger problem in my life as an adult
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permanentreverie · 7 months ago
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7 1/2 hour shift with no food ayyyyy
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seospicybin · 7 months ago
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BAD IDEA, RIGHT?
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Bangchan x reader. (s)
Synopsis: Your ex, Chan, makes a return to his social media with a thirst trap. Horny and bored, you decide to see him for the sole reason of getting your physical needs fulfilled. However, as the night goes, you start to wonder if seeing him tonight is a bad idea. (14,4k words)
Author's note: Yes, it's inspired by that one Olivia Rodrigo song.
Talking to your ex is a bad idea, right?
You've been considering whether to slide into his DM or not, commenting on his Instastory which is a video of him exercising half naked, exposing his toned upper half body in all its glory.
It's been two years after the breakup and he didn't post anything on his social media until today, it's like he knows you're bored and horny.
It's unclear whether it's him or it's your uterus talking, but he looks hotter, sexier, and bigger than the last time you saw him. Although you must admit that he's always been attractive to you, except that his attractiveness is on a whole 'nother level now and it makes you wonder why you let this man go in the first place.
In your defense, Chan is not a terrible ex, he decided to break up with you because he was leaving to study abroad and thought the long-distance relationship would be hard and mentally draining for both of you.
You acted like it didn't hurt you but when you came home that night, you cried so hard that your pillow got drenched in tears. You didn't want to break up with him because he's a great guy who happens to be great in bed too, not only because he has the most delicious cock you've ever had but he also knows how to put it to a good use. Simply put, you were so devastated thinking that you'd never find a man like him again.
And you know what? You were right. You tried dating a few times but nothing comes close to what you had with Chan. Also, can't two people reconnect?
Before you get to change your mind again, you decide to hit the like button and send a short message in his DM.
Hey, there. You type into the message box, adding a smiling emoji at the end to make it sound casual but friendly at the same time.
There's no reply or a sign that he's read your message, you figure he must be busy on a Saturday morning, he could be having another session at the gym or having breakfast, or... yeah, it could be him ignoring your messages.
Slightly hangover from hanging out with your friends last night, you slump down your bed and close your eyes to get another few minutes of sleep.
You wake up an hour later with more than a dozen notifications on your phone, they're mostly your friends sending photos they took of you last night. You groan when you see a couple of work emails and do not think twice to skip them. There are some texts from friends and then, there it is, a reply from Chan.
Well, hello, there!
It's been ages.
How are you?
You check the time and his replies came about fifteen minutes ago, there's a possibility that he's still on his phone and he'll respond faster this time.
Never been better.
How about you?
Looking fine as ever, I see.
You add the eyes emoji before hitting the send button and drop your phone onto the bed, it's a bit risky but a compliment never hurt. Besides, who doesn't like getting a compliment?
The thought that Chan is probably waiting for your reply in those fifteen minutes amuses you but pfft... that's just your wishful thinking.
As you wait for his response, you're checking the photos your friends sent you. You check them one by one, deleting the ones that you don't like and saving the good ones where you look flattering.
An idea pops into your head as you go through your gallery: a plan. First, you choose a photo of you that shows your whole look last night, dressed in a blue mini dress and strappy heels with your hair up, tied in a messy bun, in other words, you looked hot and you felt like it when your friend took the picture.
You upload it as your Instagram story and wait until it is successfully uploaded. You're sure as hell he'll see your new post, then he'll get curious and open it, and Wowza!
Chan thinks he can be the only one posting a thirst trap on a Saturday morning, huh?
It only takes a minute for the thirst trap to do its job, you smirk at the notifications and see Chan's username on the top.
Me? He adds three flustered emojis to it.
Nah. I'm not.
But you...
You look beautiful as always.
Is it even allowed to look that beautiful?
A year of being single makes you weak at the slightest chance of romance, you catch yourself smiling to yourself in the mirror. You slap yourself to get ahold of yourself, reminding yourself that he could say that just to—
A notification pops up and it shows that Chan liked and reacted to your Instagram story with the hearts eyes emoji. Fuck! You just caught yourself smiling again. but what can you do? You're just a girl who is lonely and in need of some loving touch.
You take a deep breath to calm yourself down and think about what to reply to him.
And you...
Is it even allowed to have that much of muscles?
Someone, please close the gym!
You look good nonetheless, Chris.
But seriously, close the gym! You add a laughing emoji to keep it playful.
You patiently wait for his reply but your patience only lasts for twenty minutes until he makes you wait longer for his reply and you slump on the bed again.
It's time for plan number two!
The thirst trap worked to pique his interest and you have to come up with something that shows you're a hot commodity, you don't waste your time chasing boys, they chase you. That way, Chan will respond to your message faster.
So here comes plan number two, you take another trip to your gallery, scrolling through photos from last night, and find the perfect photo. It's a picture of you and one of your male friends, you're standing side by side, holding your drinks together and smiling to the camera. There's enough friendliness in there to show that you're close with this guy but also, not that close. You don't know how to explain it, but you know it'll work.
You wait a few more minutes to add it to your Instagram story, not forgetting to tag your friend which is the best part of it. If anyone checks his account, they'll see a model with blue eyes, just the perfect guy to make certain someone is jealous.
You're devilishly laughing as you hit the post button and wait until it is successfully uploaded. You check to see the final result and smile in satisfaction.
Okay, maybe you were too haste and didn't do your calculation right because morning has turned into afternoon and Chan hasn't replied to you. Not only did he make you wait, but you also wasted three hours of your day staring at the ceiling with the phone resting on your chest.
At this point, you should've given up and maybe it's true, he only replied just to be friendly, nothing more. You fling your phone across the bed out of spite and get up, planning to wash him away from your head with a hot shower.
Against the loud sound of the hairdryer, you hear your phone chimes and you turn it off to check whether you're imagining it chimes or not.
You hate how quickly you forget how upset you were a while ago after seeing your phone light up with new notifications.
I'm sorry for replying late.
I was busy moving some stuff.
Do you have time?
And you hate it more that he can easily get your hopes up again. You figure it's time he tastes his own medicine, you put your phone away and leave him on read. You'll reply later when you feel like it, or never. Who knows?
You continue drying your hair but the constant hum of the hairdryer makes you unable to hear your thoughts, especially one that stops you from going to your phone again as it chimes with a new notification. It only takes twenty minutes for you to cave into the temptation.
I don't know about you but all these chats, they're not enough.
Can we video call instead?
It takes you not even a minute to say yes to him. You make a run to your closet and change your clothes, picking up a white top with a low neckline, ditching the bra, and pairing it with denim shorts.
Chan doesn't give you a minute to choose the setting of the video call, your phone rings as you try to make the bed as best as you can and sit with your back against the headboard of the bed.
The phone keeps ringing but you need to check your hair in the mirror again to finally accept the video call. A second later, Chan's face appears on your phone screen, and from his damp hair, it seems like he's just taken a shower too.
"Hey," he greets you as he brushes his curls with his hand.
"You look a little wet, Chris," you tease with a sly smile.
Chan moves, changing his sitting position and revealing himself in a bathrobe with his chest all exposed. Intentional or not, you must admit that's quite a show!
"I was feeling hot so I took a quick shower," he answers with a grin.
"Feeling hot, huh?" You tease again.
"I am now," he playfully responds, flashing you a sly smile and lip bite.
The two of you just stare at each other through the screen and it's getting too much for you with how intense his eyes are.
"So, where are you now?"
"I'm actually in the city," he shortly replies.
"Oh? You're back!" You gasp but hold yourself back from continuing the sentence and ask if he's back for good. The most important thing is he's confirmed his location, all you need to find out next is if he's up to do no good with you.
"Kind of," he vaguely answers.
"Kind of..." you teasingly repeat his words and then giggle.
Chan grins and rests his back against a pillow, it's unclear if he's sitting on the bed or the sofa, "Oh, how I missed that," he says.
You take a pillow and put it on your lap as something to hold on to, "Missed what?"
"Your sweet smiles and cute giggles," he shortly answers like he's been waiting for you to ask him that.
"Oh, stop it, Chris!" You respond, getting a little flustered that you melt onto your pillow. You may as well lie down on your stomach and put the pillow under your chest, "You're getting good at lying, huh?"
"Yeah. Nah. Just a little bit," he jokingly says, then bursts into laughter that his dimples sunken deep into his cheeks.
And oh, you missed his dimpled smiles and his sonorous laughter too, but you're not going to tell him that, maybe not now, or ever.
To avoid it escalating really quickly, you shift the conversation elsewhere. You prop a hand under your chin and tilt your head to the side while the other hand steadily holds your phone far enough from your face.
"So, what are you doing now?"
"Staring at your face," he answers, a half smirk decorating his rectangular face.
"Just my face?" You jokingly ask with a flirty lip bite.
"Everything else too," he adds, catching his eyes flicking down for a second then smirks.
You act oblivious to the fact that with the way you lie on your stomach, you're offering him a view of your cleavage and he would be stupid if he missed the sign.
"What I meant is what are you doing in the city? Is it for work or...?"
"I need to sort a few things," he vaguely explains.
It's obvious that he's keeping the details from you and you have to respect that, he's not your boyfriend and even if he is, he's not obligated to tell you everything. Including the possibility that he came here to see his new girlfriend, perhaps?
"Oh? So, all business, no pleasure?" You joke with a light chuckle, hiding your true intention to know whether he's seeing anyone or not.
"I'm free tonight and I was hoping that we could meet," He says, shattering the negative thoughts that rush through your head.
Now, that gets you thinking if he's coming here to see you and you get that fluttering feeling in your stomach, or it could be your uterus ovulating as you speak, either way, you like it.
"Tonight?" You ask, acting like you already have a plan for tonight.
"Yes. Or do you already have plans for tonight?"
The act always works, gosh, you should consider to start a career as an actor, "Not really, but uh... where do you want us to meet?"
"There's a nice bar in the hotel I'm staying in. We can have a drink or two," he replies, then licks his lips and makes them appear wet and fuller, tantalizing you to kiss them.
Despite you feeling like screaming and jumping on the bed, you remain coy about it, reminding yourself to not sound eager but show enough enthusiasm.
You pretend to consider it for a moment, tilting your head to the other way and saying, "Hotel bar has better drinks so... yeah, I'd love a drink or two."
A triumphant smile rises on his face and it's cute that he lets it show, making you feel a lot of things in a few seconds.
"I'll see you there, I mean, here at 8?"
You tug your middle finger between your teeth and flash him a seductive smile, "Okay."
"I'll DM you the address."
"Okay," you mutter again while staring at him through the screen on your phone.
"See you tonight then," he says, touching his lips and rubbing the lower lip with his long, dainty finger.
"Can't wait to meet you," he adds.
Instead of answering him, you let out a giggle and sit up on the bed. You flip your hair to the back and just stare at him for a minute without saying anything.
"See you tonight, Chris," you finally reply, making sure to call his name with a low, sultry voice and a sly smile.
Without hesitation, you hang up first and let out a long sigh after. It's just a video call but Gosh! It feels like a foreplay already.
You give yourself a moment to compose yourself before execute plan number three: Dressed to fucking impress. To be honest, you don't even bother with the 'impress' part, you just want to fuck.
See? Talking to him is not a bad idea after all.
-
The sound of your high heels constantly tapping the marble floor as you walk echoes in the hotel lobby, you're unsure of how to inform him that you've arrived just a few minutes late from the appointed time.
You take your phone out of your purse and are about to compose a message when you catch him holding his hand up at you from the second floor.
You wave your hand back at him and make your way to the stairs, climbing each step with caution because it would embarrassing if you tripped. But looking at Chan waiting for you at the top of the stairs makes it feel like you're living a scene out of a movie.
Even with his signature all-black look, it doesn't make him less princely. He looks dreamy with crinkles in his eyes and a charming smile on his face.
He offers his hand when you're only a couple of steps away from him. You take it and let him guide you on the last steps of the stairs. His grip is firm as you remember and he still has his favorite chain bracelet around his wrist.
"You look gorgeous," he doesn't say it in a dramatic, hyperbolic way but he softly whispers it to you before placing a sweet kiss on your cheek, so close to the corner of your mouth.
The night has just begun but he's already succeeded in making you quietly hold your breath. You put on a smile for him and coyly say, "You look stunning in black as... always."
He laughs and it feels like to see and hear it in person, like you can feel the warmth that his laughs emit.
"Want to have dinner first?" He asks.
"I've had dinner," you answer.
The truth is, you barely had dinner because you were too nervous to eat anything but you did eat a nutrition bar in the taxi.
"This way to the bar then?" He offers his arm at you like a true gentleman.
"Lead the way, sir!" You say as you link your arm around him.
It's only a short walk from the hotel lobby to the bar Chan mentioned, the interior is rather luxurious, leather seats with a live jazz performance. He mutters something to the hostess, probably where he prefers to sit and she nods in response.
"This way, please!" She says with a polite smile, walking like a feline creature in her tight skirt and silk blouse.
You glance to the side to see if Chan is looking at the pretty hostess in front of him, but you find him staring at you instead.
"Is there something on my face?" You ask in slight panic, afraid that you have something in your teeth but he feels bad to tell you.
"No," he simply answers.
"This way, sir, ma'am," the hostess says, gesturing to the booth she chooses for the two of you, a little hidden in the corner of the bar to provide some privacy.
Chan gently places his hand on the small of your back and lets you take a seat first. You have a seat in the middle of the curved sofa and he sits right next to you.
"Can we order drinks right away?" Chan asks as he puts his phone on the table.
"Sure," the hostess answers, slightly bending down to hear him talk clearly, "What would you like to have, sir?"
"I'll have the... Boulevardier," he eloquently says with a slight French accent.
"Excellent choice, sir!" She comments, she then turns her head at you to take your order, "How about you, ma'am?"
Things have been feeling a little surreal for these past few hours your brain is struggling to keep up, you want to be cool and confidently answer the fanciable hostess but it takes you a longer time to process a simple question like that.
"I'd love a daiquiri, please!" You answer, ignoring the fact that it takes you a minute to come up with it.
"Can I recommend you with the Hemingway special? It's a daiquiri with a splash of sweet grapefruit juice and Maraschino liqueur," she eloquently explains, proving that she's not only hired because of her look.
"That sounds amazing. I'd love that," you say with an impressed smile.
After confirming your orders, the hostess left the booth and it's just the two of you now in this nice yet slightly erotic setting of the bar.
"That's a nice dress," he suddenly compliments as he's looking at your face, not at your dress.
The dress goes to your midthigh, it's white and tight enough to showcase your curve. It's long-sleeved but the sweetheart neckline exposed just the right amount of skin. You've been saving it for a special occasion and considering that you haven't met him for two years, you reckon it's time to wear it.
"Just something I had, you know, lying around," you playfully answer.
The drinks come not long after and Chan waits until the server leaves to initiate a toast with you. Your drink is in a glass with a thin stem so you carefully lift it with your fingers.
"Cheers!" You mutter in unison and clink your glasses together.
The first round of drinks went with a conversation that consisted of basic questions. He asks you about work, family, life in general, and everything in between. You must admit that your life is kind of boring but it's nice to know that he wanted to catch up on your life updates.
It's a little disappointing though that he doesn't ask anything about your love life or whether you're seeing anyone or not.
When you deem that you're on the verge of oversharing, you stop talking and shift the focus to him.
"What about you? What are you working on at the moment?" You curiously ask, putting down your drink on the table and leaving one last sip on the fragile-looking glass.
"I'm working on a lot of things right now. From a lot of places too," he answers.
"So, you've been traveling a lot," you remark.
"Yes."
That says something about his relationship status and unless he has learned how to be in a long-distance relationship, then it means he's not seeing anyone right now. Even if he is, there's a big chance that it's noncommittal.
This calls for a celebration so you pick up your drink and drain every last drop of it, delightfully gasping once you swallow it.
"Round 2?" Chan offers.
"Yes."
Now that you've made up your mind about it and from the subtle signals he's sending you so far, it's safe to say that he's up to do no good with you. You smooth down the hem of your dress and flip your hair to the back, preparing yourself to execute plan number four: Make your intention known.
As much as you feel tempted to say 'Chris, let's fuck!' right to his face, you decide not to be haste and go with a more convenient, acceptable way. You plan to be forthright about your intention what you want and if he wanted the same too so the two of you can skip the formalities and go straight to the fucking.
"Chris, I have something to tell you," you say to him.
He positions his body slightly turns to the side to face you and softly smiles, "You can tell me."
You've mustered up the courage and have the words prepared in your head only for the moment to be ruined by your phone ringing in your purse.
"Fuck..." you quietly mutter to yourself, you could sense your courage shrinking inside you.
The phone has stopped ringing but you grab your purse on the space next to you and pull it out to check the caller. A new text message appears on your screen.
Call me. It's urgent. Your friend wrote in her text along with multiple red exclamation marks.
It seems rather urgent, you put on an apologetic smile at Chan and say, "I'm sorry but do you mind if I make a quick call?"
"Not at all," Chan says with an easy smile.
You take your phone with you as you get up from the sofa, leaving the booth at the same time the waiter comes with your second round of drinks.
Finding the way to the restroom, you hit the call button as you enter and stand in front of the sinks, waiting for your friend to pick up while checking for your hair and make-up in the mirror.
"What's the urgency?" You say the second you hear the call being picked up.
"I need to borrow your laptop. Mine is suddenly frozen and I can't reboot it," your friend answers in a rather distressed tone.
Knowing that it's not the kind of urgent you imagined in your head, you let out a sigh of relief and then say, "Yes, yes you can use my laptop."
"I'm already in the elevator to your floor."
"You have the code to my apartment and I'm sure you know where I put my laptop," you calmly tell her, putting the strands of hair to the side and carefully dabbing the skin under your eyes.
"Wait. You're not home?"
"I'm not and I'm not taking any more questions," you immediately stop her before she gets too nosy.
"Don't call me for the rest of the night. Bye!" You don't wait for a response and quickly hang up.
On the way back to your booth, you see Chan enjoying the jazz performance on the stage, tapping his foot against the floor. You didn't notice the way he sat until now, his legs spread open, he's slightly slumped and his long arm rests along the edge of the sofa, plus he left the top three buttons on his shirt open.
Chan looks so hot simply by sitting like that and you're sure you've seen much hotter men but you really can't remember when.
You take a deep breath to calm yourself down and slide into the booth again, then slowly sit on the sofa, leaving a gap between you and him.
"Here's your drink," he says, handing the glass to you with such caution.
"Thank you!" You mutter your gratitude.
You're glad that you're taking the recommendation because the Hemingway Daiquiri tastes so refreshing, it's sweet and sour, certainly an upscale from the classic daiquiri.
"I hope the call wasn't something bad," he says to you.
You lick your lips after taking a sip, "Oh, no. It was my friend. She needs to borrow something," you spare him from the details.
It takes a minute to remember where you left the conversation and when you finally recall, you need to take more time to prepare yourself again. You immediately take another sip to quicken the process of building up your courage.
"Can I tell you a secret?" He suddenly comes up with an unexpected request.
Your throat burns from accidentally swallowing your alcohol too fast and you can feel your eyes get teary as well.
"Sure," you manage to answer.
Somehow the gap you purposely put between you and him disappears, he sits so close to you that his knee bumps into yours.
"I've been stalking your Instagram page," he shares with a shy smile.
You snort because he makes it seem like it's an embarrassing thing to say, but you doubt if that's true, he could be saying that to make you feel flattered.
"As far as I can recall, you've been abandoning your account until today," you say, hardly believing his so-called secret.
"That's because I'm using a fake Instagram account," he simply answers.
You snort again and roll your eyes at him, "Yeah, sure."
Chan smirks and picks up his phone, he opens Instagram to show the fake Instagram account he made and it only has one following, you.
"Do you believe me now?"
It's hard to stay calm when you find out that the guy who broke your heart two years ago has secretly been keeping up with you through your social media. You're happy but a part of you is still in denial.
"I mean... why not use your own Instagram?" you ask out of pure curiosity because it's not like you'd mistake this as a sign that he wants to get back with you. You're not that naive nor delusional.
"Then you would know that I regret breaking up with you," he casually answers like he didn't just reveal something profound.
You look at him to check if he's just messing with you and you would know if he's lying cause he's bad at it, but nope, he's telling the truth.
"And you would know that I've been struggling to get over you," he continues with glints filling his doe eyes.
There's an alarm going off in your chest, it's coming from the heart and it's telling you to be cautious, potential heartbreak lies ahead. You get reminded that you came here not to confront your feelings, you came here to get fucked, hopefully hard.
"And I guess you posted your boxing video for a purpose?" You ask with your eyebrow raised at him.
"Well..." he shrugs and slyly grins, "it worked, didn't it?"
As expected, this man has so many tricks up his sleeves. Better be careful as he puts all of his attention on you, his arm slowly makes its way around your shoulder and his hand is playing with your hair.
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"No comment," You smirk and take a small sip of your drink.
Chan lets out a laugh, the sonorous one and the kind that makes his eyes form two crescents. He takes a sip of his Boulevardier which is an upscale version of negroni.
"I've been wondering why you stayed single for so long," he says with an underlying tone, implying that he's actually asking you the reason why. Also confirmed his secret stalking behavior.
"It's not that long," you reply, crossing your legs together as you flash him a sly smile.
"A year, isn't it?" He asks.
You groan and roll your eyes at him, "You really are a stalker."
"You can tell me," he playfully elbows your side.
"No. It's a secret," you refuse to share.
"I shared my secret with you and it's only fair if you share yours with me."
"First of all, I didn't ask for your secret," you defend yourself while holding your drink close to your mouth.
He leans to your side, offering his ear at you as he says, "You can whisper it to me."
He means to know the answer anyway so you lean into his ear and cover the side of your mouth, then whisper, "All the guys I've met, they don't have a big cock like yours."
That's a way to get his attention and escalate the tension between the two of you. You pull away with a devilish smirk dancing on your face.
You glance down at his crotch and ask, "Is it still as big as I remember?"
"If you're lucky, you'll get to find out," he plays coy about it and you find it extremely attractive.
Noticing that you've drained your drink, Chan waves his hand to get the two of you another round of drinks. Obviously, you don't want it to end when things have just started to warm up.
He looks at you and then glances down, showing his hand snaking its way to your thigh.
"Have I told you that it's a nice dress?"
"I don't mind hearing it one more time," you respond with a cheeky smile.
He shoots you a big grin while he's playing with the hem of your dress, feeling the fabric between his fingers.
"It's a nice dress," he compliments, then leans in close so that you can feel his warm breath brush your cheek as he adds, "And I want to take it off of you tonight."
You place your hand on his hand that rests on your thigh and play with his bracelet, "if you're lucky, you'll get to do it," you poke fun at him.
You can audibly hear his laugh in your ear as he leans in closer his nose pokes your cheek, "We're even now."
The third drinks bring the tension higher as the two of you relax from every sip and the gap between your bodies gradually disappears.
Chan has his eyes on you all the time, it's overwhelming at times but you like the way he looks at you like an animal who has his eyes on its prey and you like seeing the confliction in his eyes on whether he should eat you whole or play with his food first.
There's so much chemistry and tension here, plus the alcohol, you're only waiting for the light to turn bright green, really.
He gently brushes your hair to the side and keeps it there so he can plant a kiss on the skin behind your ear, knowing that it's your sensitive part of body.
"You change your perfume?"
"Yes," you manage to remain calm despite the proximity and the way he constantly rubs your thigh with his knuckle.
He drags his lips to your ear and asks, "What is it called?"
You lick your lips and make him wait for your answer, "I believe it's called Good Girl Gone Bad."
He tilts his head to the side and looks at you right in the eyes, wide and dark with lust, "How bad?"
You grab the collar of his shirt and tug at it, "If you're lucky, you'll get to find out," you get back at him again.
As he bursts out laughing with his eyes closed, you follow your intrusive thought to cup his jaw with your hand and laugh along.
"That's two to one," you remind him.
He stops laughing only to fondly smile at you, "Remind me how I broke up with you."
"For a start, you acted like an absolute jerk that day," you half-jokingly say.
The truth is it wasn't the breakup that hurt you the most, it's the post-break-up and his total absence from your life, he didn't call or text, or even send a pity email after that day. It felt as if he didn't want you in his life anymore.
Fuck. How did you get here again? Forced to face your feelings. Time to shift the talk.
"It's getting late, don't you think?"
Chan immediately reaches for his phone on the table to check the time, "It's 10.51."
"Oh," you plainly respond and finish you drink.
"Can I have your new numbers?" He suddenly asks.
You put down your glass on the table and answer, "I still have the same phone numbers."
"Yeah but I lost my phone at the airport and had to get a new one, lost all of my contacts," he explains like he knew you thought about how he didn't call you earlier.
Chan hands you his phone so you can enter your phone numbers and hand it back to him once you've finished. He hits the call button instead of saving it first and your phone rings a second later.
"Come on. Pick it up!" He tells you.
You obey him, accepting his phone call even though he's sitting next to you, "Hello?"
"Hi, it's future Chris calling," he says with a mix of foolish and sexy grin, you don't know how but he does it so well.
Curious to see where this talk is going, you decide to play along with him, "If you are really from the future, can you tell me the lottery numbers for this week?"
"I... can't tell you that."
"I'm hanging up," you joke.
"But I can tell you something else."
"Not interested," you put away your phone from your ear.
He glares at you, forcing you to continue playing along with him, "Hear me first!"
"Okay, I'm listening," you say with a dramatic eye roll.
"Future Chris says you need to go to hotel room number 103 tonight."
"Uhm... why?"
"You have to go there if you want to get lucky," he says with his tongue slightly poking out on one corner of his mouth.
"Still not interested," you poke fun, pretending to hang up the phone again.
"You'll regret it," he teases.
"I doubt that," you say with your nose scrunched at him.
Chan gets a little annoyed now, you can tell by the way he has his tongue poking his cheek and the fed-up grin on his face.
"Don't you want to get lucky tonight and find out about..." he pauses as he reaches for the pendant of your necklace and turns it over in his fingers, "the thing you're curious of."
This is it then, your intention matched his intention and the light has turned bright green. You take his hand and put it down onto your lap, then you slide your hand into his palm, "Okay."
"Okay," He says, holding your hand in his then brings it close to his mouth to place a soft kiss on the back of your hand.
-
As you're waiting for the elevator to arrive, Chan steadily places his hand on the arch of your back and lingers there until the elevator chimes open.
He lets you get in first and you choose to stand on the side, close to the panel full of numbers of the hotel floors and he reaches for it to push the number to his floor.
Should you consider yourself lucky that the elevator is empty? Should you be nervous because you're starting to feel like a prey being locked with its predator inside a small, enclosed space?
No words are being exchanged as the two of you locked in a gaze, but he speaks so much through his eyes, they're fiery, filled with so much want, so much need, and ultimately, desire.
After that much teasing, flirting, alcohol, chemistry, and tension, you've been wondering how the two of you managed to not kiss each other already.
It seems like he's about to make it happen as he comes closer to you, putting his hands on the handlebar and caging you in between. Slowly, he brings his hand close to your face and carefully puts away the strands of hair covering your face to the side, then tucks it behind your ear.
In this proximity, you can see how plush his lips are, how soft and full they are, and it's getting too hard to try to ignore. You look at him, telling him how much you want to kiss him through your eyes and deliberately blink to give him the unspoken permission to kiss you.
The heating moment gets interrupted by the sound of the elevator chimes open and a group of people gets in from the fourth floor.
"Excuse me," a man says as he reaches for the panel to press the number to his floor.
With his hand on your back again, Chan protectively guides you to take a step forward and stands behind you, he puts his arm around your waist with his hand resting on your abdomen.
There's a low chatter going on from the other corner of the elevator but the absence of silence doesn't make it less tense as Chan buries his nose in your hair, you can feel every breath he inhales on the nape of your neck. It feels hot and cold at the same time, making you tingling inside.
He then presses his mouth to your ear and softly whispers, "You're still using the same shampoo, mmh?" His lips graze your ear as he speaks.
Chan puts his other arm on you and quietly, pulls you closer until your back meets his chest, that way you can feel him behind you and his body heat that slowly melts you from the inside.
Quietly, he slides his hand down to the curve of your ass cheek and then gently squeezes the flesh.
"My God, this body..." he whispers with his breath tickles your body, "Makes me want to ruin you so much."
Is it wrong that you don't even want to hide it anymore? You want everyone in the elevator to hear what he just said to you and for a split second, you want Chan to fuck you right there and let everyone watches.
However, Chan suddenly lets go of you and you pout at the sudden loss of contact. Then you notice that the little screen above the panel shows that the elevator is about to stop on the 10th floor.
When it chimes open, you make your way out with Chan trails behind you. None of you look back but keep walking ahead with his hand resting on the arch of your back again, leading you to where his room is. His hand goes lower and lower the further you walk through the hotel corridor.
"This way," he says, guiding your body to take the left corridor.
Without warning, he grabs you by the waist and roughly pulls you with him until he hits his back against the wall, then crashes his mouth on you.
This is not your shared first kiss but this is somehow better than that. The feeling of your lips finally reunited in a rapturous kiss especially when you've been craving it oh, there's nothing like it!
Chan kisses you so hard, so deep, so passionately that you have a hard time returning it to him and breathing becomes a second priority to you.
"I've been wanting to do that all night," he mutters when he lets go of the kiss.
Still gasping for air, you nod and say, "Me too."
To your surprise, he turns you over and has you pinned against the wall this time, he pushes his body against yours as he seeks to be as close to you as possible until there's no inch of gap left between your bodies.
When he deems that you need to breathe, he lets go of your lips only to kiss you on your neck and you tip your head to the side to give him the free access. You let out a low moan as his teeth faintly scrape the skin.
His hands run amok, feeling you all over and touching you through your clothes, eventually his hand cups your breast in his. He kisses your lips again only to distract you from his hand trying to pull down the front of your dress and after a few tries, he manages to send your breast spilling which he wastes no time to take it in his mouth.
"Oh..." The moan just slipped out of your mouth and you hurriedly press your lips together to shut yourself up, aware that you're in a hotel corridor and the hotel guests might hear it, oh and also, someone may walk in on you making out in the hotel corridor.
He leaves your breast wet with his saliva when he lets go and goes straight to kiss you again, putting his weight against you and hoisting your leg around him.
It's getting hard to stay quiet as he starts to dry hump you, you can feel the friction of his clothed erection on you, big and bulging, highly arousing.
Hearing footsteps coming, he hurriedly fixes your dress and takes your hand, this time, leading you right to his hotel room. He swiftly unlocks the door with his keycard and pushes the door inward.
"Come in," he softly mutters, keeping the door open to let you in.
Once you're both inside, the obscenity continues. Nothing is stopping you from coming at each other and ripping each other's clothes. Your dress is the first to go then his shirts, they're lying on the carpeted floor now.
As you lips continuously latch with his, Chan swiftly unbuckles his belt and zips open his fly, he pulls his erection out of its confine.
Without breaking the kiss, he takes your hand and puts it around his hardening member. You gasp at how hot it feels in your hand, how hard it is that you can feel the veins coiling around his length.
He pulls away and looks down to see your hand holding his cock, "Is it as big as you remember?"
You suck air through your teeth and then say, "I'm not sure."
You start to slowly pump his length in your hand and look up at him, "but there's a way I can know for sure."
His eyebrow raised in question, "You do?"
"Uh-huh," you answer, leaning in to kiss him.
From his lips, you begin a trail of kisses to his neck and his chest next, then down to his sculpted abs until your knees hit the carpeted floor.
Something about kneeling in front of him and he's looking down on you with a mix of excitement and anticipation in his eyes arousing you in a whole new way.
In return, you look back at him, innocently blinking your eyes at him all the while your hand keeps stroking his cock in front of you.
"Can I?" You ask him with your thumb softly rubbing the tip of his cock.
He puts his hands in your hair, brushing your hair and gathering them in the back of your head, making a makeshift ponytail with his hand, "Yes."
Without looking away from him, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, then slowly, you take him in your mouth. You take him little by little and give yourself time to adjust yourself to his size which you think is somewhat bigger than you remember.
Wanting to impress him, you push yourself to take more of him but you're too haste and his cock hits the back of your throat so fast, triggering your gag reflex. You immediately pull away before you embarrass yourself more and look away as you let out a cough.
"Still too big for me," You say with a shy chuckle.
Chan places his hand on your cheek and tenderly caresses it, "Too big for you, mmh?"
You nod with your puppy eyes at him.
"But you're taking it so well," he coos, now wiping your chin with his thumb.
You wrap your hand around his cock again and slowly pump it, "Yeah?"
"Yes," he mutters with a soft smile.
The truth is you're not a big fan of giving blow jobs and you're not very confident in your skill, but he remains sweet and patient with you and you believe it's because he knows.
Chan makes you feel safe and comfortable enough to make you want to do it again.
"Let me just..." you don't finish your sentence but do it all over again.
You remind yourself to take it slow, regulate your breathing, and keep calm, it's even better if you can try to enjoy doing it.
To compensate for the rest that you can't take in your mouth, you use your hand and alternate between sucking and licking.
"See? You're taking me so well," he softly mutters, delicately tucking your hair behind your ear.
It doesn't take long for you to find your rhythm and slowly enjoying yourself giving him head, you're even humming in pleasure with your mouth full of him.
Seeing his reactions and hearing the lewd noises coming out of your mouth, encourages you to keep going despite your jaws getting tired and your knees are hurting from kneeling too long.
In between his low moans, he manages to mutter sweet nothings to you.
"Oh, that pretty mouth!"
"You're just too good."
"Oh... Too good at this!"
After a few minutes though, you sense that you needed a break so you slowly pull out and replace your mouth with your hand.
"You like that?"
"Very much," he answers without a beat.
He offers his hand to help you get up from the floor and pulls you close, hoisting your body against him knowing that you're probably tired from kneeling too long.
"You're getting too good, it's dangerous," he whispers to you with both hands cupping your ass cheeks.
You giggle and let him have your lips in him again, you're opening your mouth for him so he can kiss you deeper while he hoists you higher until your feet are lifted off the floor.
Chan carries you to the bed and gently lays you down on the bed, he removes his jeans first before joining you, lying next to you on the bed.
He brushes your hair away from your face and presses a kiss on your lips, "So, is it as big as you remember?"
You tangle your hand in his soft curls, "Jury's still out," you answer with a sly smile.
Chan glares at you as a grin slowly blossoms on his face, he offers his arm as your pillow and then pulls you closer to him, that way, he can comfortably plant his lips on yours again.
As he keeps you busy with his kisses, his hand is making its way down south and not stopping until it lands on your clothed cunt. He smirks against your lips the second he slips his fingers under, meeting your wetness.
"That wet for me, mmh?" He murmurs.
You coyly shrug and shoot him a smirk just to provoke him.
"Well, I'm honored," he says with his fingers tracing your folds and running it up and down your slit.
When he starts playing with your clit, you know you no long can keep your cool anymore. The cold that comes from the metal of his chain bracelet adds a different sensation to the hot and wetness of your cunt.
"Goodness..." you breathlessly gasp as he inserts his finger into you.
"I know you can take one more," he mutters with his mouth pressed to your ear, then proceeds to add another digit.
His two long fingers are inside you now, pumping them in and out of you, and curls them to find that spot that makes you—
"Chris! Oh, fuck!" You curse and grip his shoulder hard enough your nails dug into the skin.
He's enjoying it from the way his head hovers above you and peacefully observing your face, wanting to see all of your reactions to his delightful assault.
He has his mouth sucking on your breast now and the other is being fondled by his other hand, the other hand is busy making a mess out of you.
You're squirming on the bed with your waist upheld in the air and shamelessly arching your back at him, seeking more of him inside you.
Chan knows when to stop, he teases you enough to prepare you for what comes next. He slows down his hand motions and slowly pulls them out. He doesn't let go yet but keeps his hand inside your underwear, playing with your clit.
A moment later, he draws his hand out of your underwear and rubs his fingers coated with your arousal on his lips, "Taste yourself on me," he says.
Seeing his lips wet with your essence is rather arousing and you don't hesitate at all to kiss him, tasting yourself on him. The kiss feels exceptionally kinky and you thought you couldn't be more aroused than this.
Without letting go of the kiss, he hovers above you and props his elbows against the mattress, "Are you still on the pills?"
You swallow air before answering, "Yeah."
He places a sweet peck on your lips then looks at you, "Is it okay if we do it without protection?"
Maybe deep down you know you can trust him and it wouldn't be the first time you're doing it with him without a layer of protection so you find it easy to agree to it and nod.
"Okay," you say, also providing him a verbal consent.
He smiles at you and lowers his mouth on you again, he continues the kisses down your front. His hands tugging at the elastic band of your underwear and pulling it down as he continues the kisses down to your legs.
The bed quakes as Chan gets off the bed and he's just standing there, looking at you and your naked body for his eyes to lust on. You catch him inhaling and exhaling air like he's overwhelmed by what he's seeing.
"You're so beautiful," he mutters with a delightful sigh.
It would be the only normal response to get flustered under his lustful eyes, you look away from him and say, "Just get in here, Chris!"
He surprises you by jumping onto the bed, making the bed quakes once more and he immediately puts his lips on yours again.
"Turn over for me," he softly whispers to you ear.
Without saying a word, you obey him, turning over on the bed and getting on your fours, kneeling with your hands propped against the mattress in front of you.
Chan positions himself behind you and then with so much care, he puts all of your hair away onto one shoulder so he can place kisses on your back. His hands freely roam around your body.
In your opinion, Chan has the most attractive pair of hands, it's warm and firm with veins snaking on the back of his hand, and of course, long fingers that know how to find your most sensitive spot. Now, they're on you, going all over you and feeling you all over.
"I almost forgot how soft you are," he murmurs.
He then brings his hands to your chest to play with your mounds, he hums in pleasure as he sees your breasts mold perfectly in his hands.
"Like they were made just for me," he sighs.
It's like his attractiveness and his big cock aren't enough, Chan has to have a smart mouth too, a mouth that knows what to say and how to say it.
Then again, you're just a girl and you're prone to sugary sweet words like that. You look over your shoulder and smile at him, not expecting that he's going to capture your lips in a kiss.
He slides one hand down to your throbbing cunt again, making sure it's wet enough for him to penetrate. He gently pushes you to the front so he can aim his cock at your entrance and then slowly, he guides you to take him in.
"Oh... ah..." you moan, crumpling the sheet underneath you.
And you almost forget how big he is until he's inside you and you get so high that you blank out, you're there on all fours and merely just a vessel.
Not giving you another minute to adjust, Chan moves back and pulls his cock out only to push it deeper inside you. He then wraps his arms around you and holds you tightly while you're flailing against him like a rag doll.
"You feel so good," he whispers, his breath is hot and heavy in your ear, "So fucking tight around me."
He brings his hand down to rub your clit, adding gentle pressure as he's circling on it.
"I'm going to move, okay?" He says to you with a slobbering kiss on your shoulder.
Unable to form a coherent answer, you repeatedly nod in answer.
The sploshing sound of his fingers incessantly rubbing your clit intensify along with the pace of his thrusting. Chan either has his lips on your lips or plants them on your shoulder, either way, he does it to muffle his groans.
This is what happens when his hand and his cock joint forces, you find yourself on the brink of orgasm when all you've been doing is filling the room with your high-pitched moans.
"Oh, I'm cumming," you whine, holding onto the sheet as waves of pleasure surging all over you.
Chan slows down but does not stop thrusting into you, he kisses your neck and shoulder as you relish your orgasm. He keeps you close with his slung across your chest.
"Chris?" You breathlessly call his name.
"Yes, baby?" He answers your call and you guess the pet name unintentionally slipped out of his mouth.
Not going to lie, it gets you fluttering to hear him call you baby. You curve your arm around his neck and bring his head close to kiss him.
After a while, you start to doubt that the fluttering feeling came from Chan calling you with a pet name. You think it's because you're getting your second orgasm.
"What should I do, Chris?" You whine against his mouth
He breaks the kiss and looks at you with a concerned look, "Huh?" Chan confusingly asks.
"I'm about to cum again," you shamelessly admit.
Chan lets out a low chuckle and presses a kiss on your lips, "Then let's cum together, yeah?" he simply resolves.
He draws you close to him until your back hits his chest, his strong arms wrapped around you to hold you steady as he adds more speed to his thrust.
"Chris, oh..." you moan while holding onto his forearm.
His hands slithering around, one hand squeezing on your breast and the other wrapped around your neck. His mouth nests in the crook of your neck, grunting in pleasure and at times, sucking on your skin to muffle his noises.
"Oh, you keep clenching, baby," he mutters, followed by a broken moan.
That is probably because his cock is deep inside you, it's engorging and pulsating, filling you whole and continuously rubbing against your velvety walls, making the knot in your stomach tighten with each passing second.
Getting weak on the knees, you collapse onto the bed and Chan hurriedly holds you by the waist as he maintains the pace.
"I'm close, I'm close," you tell him repeatedly with one side of your face pressed against the bed.
Chan groans as he pushes his cock as shallowly as possible inside you, "Almost there," he says through his gritted teeth.
The previous orgasm makes you more sensitive than before and you can't hold yourself back anymore so you slowly let go and let the pleasure take over you once more.
Meanwhile, Chan hovers behind you and takes your hands, he holds them by the wrists then pin them against the bed as he restlessly thrusts into you to chase his high.
"Want me to cum inside you?" He asks, still thoughtful as you remember
"Uh-huh, yeah," you manage to answer even with your brain close to short-circuit.
Getting the permission is all he needed to get to his release. Then moment he finally come undone, he lets out a hoarse yet the most beautiful moan you ever heard, then lets himself lay on top of you.
A moment passes in contented silence and Chan presses a long kiss on the nape of your neck, then softly asks, "Are you okay?"
Not getting an answer, he endearingly brushes your hair away from your face to check it himself, "Did I go too rough on you?" He asks again with a slight concern.
You allow yourself to take a few more seconds to gain your composure and instead of answering, you foolishly grin at him and say, "That was so fucking good."
In response, Chan brightly smiles then pecks your lips, "No, but seriously, are you okay?"
You nod at him, "I'm okay."
After hearing your confirmation, he lets out a sigh of relief and then kisses you again, longer than the previous one.
"Sweet break?"
You don't expect him to say that after a long time, you smile and nod, "Sweet break."
-
Sweet break is something you used to say to each other when you need to take a break from something by eating something sweet. Like now, for instance, you and him taking a break from sex to order something sweet from the room service.
"Bad news is the kitchen is closed" Chan announces the second you come out of the bathroom.
It would be bothersome to put on your dress so you put on Chan's shirt instead, buttoning it as you join him on the sofa, "And the good news?"
He opens the food cover to show you what he got from the room service, "They're still serving desserts," he says with a grin.
The two of you huddle together around the plates of desserts and eating them on the sofa, filling the room with the sounds of your chewing and the dessert spoon scraping the plate.
It's fascinating to watch Chan casually eat his chocolate cake like he didn't just fuck the brains out of you a while ago. You let out a low chuckle and get back to your crepes.
"What's so funny?" He asks, catching you quietly chuckling to yourself.
"Nothing," you answer with a shrug.
He glares at you and decides to invade your plate with his fork, stabbing at the sliced banana and then shoving it into his mouth.
"Hey, eat your own dessert," you scold him but let him collect more bananas from your plate.
"But you don't like bananas," he says in between his chews.
"I don't like bananas but that doesn't mean I can't eat them," you say, but proceed to put the bananas to the side of the plate.
"I'm eating it for you so you only eat what you like," he says with a proud grin.
It's endearing that he still remembers little things like this. The sweet break, your dislike toward a certain and even how many of his fingers you like to have inside you. You can't help but wonder if he remembers other things too. His feelings for you, perhaps?
"Want to order another one?"
The two of you shared and finished the last plate together, even though you feel like you can have another plate, you refuse the offer.
He puts the plates away to the side of the room and returns to the sofa, lifting your legs before he sits next to you and then puts your legs on his lap.
"What's that café with the salted caramel cookies?" He suddenly asks.
"The one with butternut latte?" You ask back to check.
He gently puts his hand on your shoulder and plays with your hair, "Is it still open?"
Damn. He even still remembers that one café you regularly visited when the two of you were still dating.
"Yes," you answer with a smile.
"Man. Those are the best cookies!" he sighs with his fingertips lightly rubbing your thigh.
"I mean, we can go there tomorrow if you want," you casually say or you hope it sounds casual, it's a friendly offer.
He stops playing with your hand and cups your jaw, "I would love to," he says.
From the way his smile slowly dims, you sense a 'but' coming. Oh no, you sense a regret coming. You shouldn't have offered it in the first place.
"But I have to leave tomorrow," he says.
"Oh?" You try to remain unbothered and keep your facial expression in check, "Tomorrow, huh?"
"Yeah. I have to take care of a few things back home," he explains.
By back home, he means Australia and he'll fly out tomorrow, and probably for good. You hate that you get sad like it would be the first he's done it to you.
He holds you by the chin and slowly brings your head close to place a chaste kiss on your lips, it's so tender that you feel a tug at your chest.
"Thank you for coming to see me," he sincerely says with his eyes wide and shining for you.
This is where you start losing the objective of why you're here, you came here to solely get fucked, not expecting anything but his cock inside you.
Time to put some sense into your head and laugh it off, "Oh, my God, Chris!" You gasp out loud.
His forehead wrinkles in question, "What?"
"Yes, we can fuck again, no need to try so hard," you say with a sassy eye roll.
Learning that he's being pranked, he squints his eyes at you with his tongue pokes his cheek. While clutching his chest, he says, "Gosh, I thought—"
Before he can finish his sentence, you shut him up with a kiss because you don't want to keep talking about your feelings or get reminded of how things were when you were still together. You kiss him because you want to forget.
"You thought what?" You ask as you sit on his lap.
He licks his lips and shakes his head, "Nothing."
He's more than glad to have you sitting on his lap as it allows him to hold you close. His hands trail the sides of your body until they eventually land on your ass and then eagerly fondle them in his hands. Catching you off guard, he lands a slap on your ass cheek.
"Chris!" You shriek, abruptly stop kissing him, "That stings!"
"Can't help it," he innocently says while laughing and then pulls you close to kiss you again before you scold him more.
As a safety measure, you take his hands from your ass and fold them together on his chest but he takes it to his advantage, he finds another playground for his lewd hands.
Doesn't want to waste time unbuttoning it, he slips his hand under your shirt to fondle your breast, circling his fingers around your nipple before pinching at it.
He then lifts your shirt, exposing your breasts to the cool night air, and wastes no time to bury his head in between your mounds. He then pulls the shirt down and hides himself in it, acting like a toddler by purposely placing ticklish kisses on you to make you laugh
"Stop playing," you scold him with your hand tangled in his curls, "Let's go to bed, mmh?"
Chan pops his head out through the opening of the shirt and looks at you, "Kiss me first," he demands.
How can you say no when he looks at you with fondness in his eyes and a smile on his face? You fulfill his wish and place a long, lingering kiss on his lips.
"Can we go now?" You say the second you pull away from the kiss.
"Okay," he obliges.
He gets out of your shirt first and you get off his lap next, then starts walking toward the bedroom when Chan suddenly comes from behind you and hoists you up, looking unbothered carrying you on his shoulder.
"To the bed!" He announces, then slaps the back of your thigh.
"Chris!" You scold again but you can't do anything about it as you hang upside-down on his back.
The bed is already a mess and it seems like it's going to get even messier with the way Chan constantly has you pinned under him. He kisses your lips, softly yet hungrily like devouring an ice cream.
Aware that he has taken his turn, Chan doesn't complain when you flip him over and take it over from him. You're straddling him, rubbing his cock between your slit while he's unbuttoning your shirt open.
You find yourself wet for him again in no time and his cock is as hard as you need it to be, maybe this is why sex with him feels exceptional, the two of you are always horny for each other.
You let out a low, long moan the whole time you lower yourself on him and a seductive chuckle slips out of your mouth the second he's fully buried inside you.
When you look down at him, you find him staring at you with his mouth agape. You slyly smile and place both of your hands on his glorious pecs, "Have you always been this big?"
Chan licks his lips and rests his hands on your thighs, "And have you always been this tight?" He asks back instead of answering.
Being on top gives you the freedom to set a pace you prefer and switch positions as you like, more importantly, you can fully enjoy every bit of it. But it's working because Chan is such a great partner, he lets you have full control and lets you take your time.
If not using his hands to touch you all over, he has his hands folded under his head and quietly enjoying watching you fucking him.
"If you keep clenching around me like that, I might cum too fast," he tells you.
"I'm okay with that," you calmly respond.
To tease him more, you purposely keep clenching around him and rolling your hips in circular motions. Somehow you stop focusing on getting your high and start thinking about how to please him more.
"Oh," he loudly groans and his hand grips at your waist, "You're bad!"
You giggle in response while continuing to roll your hips back and forth in painstakingly slow motion.
"Oh, you're really, really bad," he says with ragged breath.
The sex may not be as hard or as intense as the previous one but it's just as good, even better. Maybe it's the unwavering eye contact, maybe it's the way he hisses every time you tease him, or the way he trusts you to make him feel good.
Whatever it is, you feel like sharing an intimate moment with him and you can't lie, it feels special.
"Are you close?" You ask because you're very close to your climax.
"I've been waiting for you to ask me that," he hastily answers, still able to joke in a heating moment like this.
You take him along with you to the edge and not stopping until the two of you come to your release, you keep moving at a sloppy pace to ride out the high.
Chan pulls you close, forcing you to lower yourself onto his body and accidentally sending his cock to slip out. You don't mind it at first but you can feel his hot cum dripping out of you and onto his abdomen.
You break the kiss and mutter in panic, "It's dripping."
"I'll put it back in," he simply responds, reaching down for his cock and slowly pushes it back into you.
Now that it's resolved, he puts his arms around you again and pulls you even closer until your bodies mold into one another, then kisses you more.
Without looking and breaking the kiss, he pulls the duvet and covers both of your bodies with it, ready to end the night with your bodies still connected.
"Have I told you this?" He suddenly asks.
"What?"
He looks at you with his brown eyes that looks like a nice cup of cocoa, comforting and warm.
"I miss you," he ever softly says.
There he goes again, making you debate whether you came here for the sex or to try to rekindle old sparks with him. But in all honesty, it feels good to know that the yearning goes both ways.
For once, you let your heart answer it for you.
"I miss you too, Chris," you mutter back with a smile.
And now you start debating if seeing him tonight is indeed a bad idea.
-
There's a wet, squelching sound when you first come to your senses the next morning, you feel like sleeping for another hour or two but you also feel the urge to check what that noise is all about.
You force open your eyes and find out right away the source of that wet, squelching sound, it's coming from Chan and he has his mouth latched to your breast.
"Morning, Chris," you croak as you brush your hair away from your face.
He lets go of your breast with a loud pop and looks at you, "Did I wake you?"
"Not really," you answer, putting your hand in his fluffy bedhead.
"I'm sorry," he says but not looking like it.
"Are you? Sorry?" You jokingly say and lay back on your pillow.
He slyly grins and shifts his focus back to playing with your mounds. He holds your breast up and uses his slick tongue to tease your nipple, alternating between licking and sucking.
It's normal to feel horny in the morning and, you find yourself already wet under there, you guess Chan has been helping himself while you were still sleeping.
Chan's head hangs above your chest and you can see how much he's enjoying your breasts, playing with them like a toddler, he even makes noises as he fills his mouth with your ample flesh.
"Aren't you leaving today? Shouldn't we get up and shower?" You mutter, softly scratching his scalp as you talk.
He sucks at your breast so hard and pulls it before letting it go, grinning as he is satisfied with what he just did.
"My flight is in the afternoon," he says.
"And I'd better go so you can pack—"
"But I already ordered breakfast," he whines like a fussy child.
"Well, we can shower first."
"They'll send breakfast at 8," he shares with a wild grin.
You turn your head to check the time on the clock hanging on the wall, "But it's hardly 7."
"Exactly!" He exclaims.
"Exactly what?" You ask in genuine confusion.
He buries his head in your neck and whispers, "We have an hour before breakfast."
Despite catching on to his intention, you decide to act dumb, "And?"
"And..." he inhales your scent before hovering above you, "I'll have my breakfast first."
He winks at you then goes under the duvet, and settles himself between your legs to have his so-called breakfast and it only makes sense that it progresses to intercourse.
Morning sex offers different things, it's the quiet, the peace, the slivers of morning sun shining through the cracks of the curtains, doing it with a refreshed mind and body, it's also the best way to start the day.
It's even better when you get to be a pillow princess, you just lay back and let Chan do all the handwork. He has your legs locked around his waist as he thrusts into you at a slow yet steady pace and in every thrust, he makes you feel every inch of his length rubbing against your walls.
"This is just great," he says with his face pressed to the side of your head.
"Mmh, what?" You respond as best as you can.
"I don't have to do cardio today," he says with a low chuckle.
This is your favorite kind of sex, do it by not taking it too seriously. Because in your opinion, other than it should be comfortable for the individuals involved, sex should be fun.
You kiss his open mouth and drag your lips down to his neck, then plant your mouth on his skin, sucking at it hard enough to form a hickey on it.
"What's that about?" He's rather dumbfounded instead of annoyed.
"Just trying to make it fair," you coyly say as you point to the blossoming mark he made on your breast.
"Yeah, okay," he says in defeat.
As much as you don't want the sex to end, it eventually ends but in a rather explosive, euphoric way. You feel like you've just been given another chance at life after that last orgasm.
"Who needs coffee, huh?" You sigh as you blankly stare at the ceiling.
It's a rhetorical question but Chan decides to respond to it anyway, "Not me, apparently."
Then you remember that he indeed doesn't drink nor need coffee to function, "Not you, apparently," you correct your earlier remark.
Chan carefully lowers himself on top of you and hastily kisses you, both of your teeth almost colliding.
"Thought I was still dreaming when I woke up next to you," he says, coming with another sentimental remark that evokes something deep within you.
You decide to push it further down and keep it there by saying, "Ugh. It's too early for that," you groan.
Chan weakly chuckles with his head nestled in your neck and just like the universe knows you need the distraction, the knocking comes on the door and it must be the breakfast.
You gently pat his head and say, "Now, go get my coffee!"
The morning continues with a quiet breakfast, it's obvious the reason why, the two of you burnt so many calories last night and need a reload.
Then there's the shower and you strongly refuse to share with him or else, it'll take much time. But Chan has an even stronger will and joins you anyway.
This is another reason why sex with him feels exceptional, the two of you are the same insatiable creatures.
The two of you dressed in silence and at times, catch him watching you, instead of feeling shy, you give him a proper show, bending down and wriggling your ass as you put your underwear on.
Chan enjoys every bit of it, he grins and bites his lips, tempted to come up at you, and goes at it again, but sadly, time is running out.
It's here, this is where it's going to end and you never know when you'll see him again, and that's even if you're still able to. You can only hope that he doesn't see how much you want him to stay.
"This is it then," you say, standing right in front of him in the foyer.
He takes your hand, loosely lacing his fingers with yours, "Can I still text you?"
"Sure," you answer.
"How about phone calls?"
"Booty calls only," you jokingly say.
He smiles and takes a step closer to you, you can almost see every moment the two of you shared last night flashes in his eyes, and it's achingly beautiful.
"Can I kiss you before you leave?"
You plan to make the goodbye as brief and as painless as possible but you don't want to risk losing the opportunity to make it a not-so-sad ending. But if you have to be honest, you simply want to kiss him.
"Okay," you agree with a nod.
You put your arms around his shoulders and let your body molds into him as he holds you close, you tilt your head up and close your eyes.
The moment your lips make contact, your heart bursts open and there's no way of stopping your feelings flow out of it so you let them be. You let him feel your pain, your yearning, and ultimately, your feelings for him that you try so hard to conceal, and then slowly, you pull away from the kiss before they fight their way out of your heart.
It's possible that Chan feels it too, that the kiss feels intimate, the kiss feels emotional, and a little close to the heart. He pulls you into a hug that lasts for a long time as if he tries to convey some unspoken messages too.
"No need to send me off," you tell him, not wanting to make it sadder than it already is.
Chan walks you to the door with his hand on the small of your back and then keeps it open for the final goodbye. You stand facing him and say, "Goodb—"
He puts his finger on your lips to stop you from finishing your sentence, "I'll see you when I see you."
That sounds like he indirectly promises you that one day, he'll come and see you again, and surprisingly, it only makes you uneasy.
You put on a smile and try another way to say goodbye, "Have a safe flight, Chris."
As you get into the back of the taxi, you get these familiar feelings and unfortunately, they're not the good kind. You feel like you went through the same thing before, you feel angry, you feel sad, and lost, and you feel this tightness in your chest that makes it hard to breathe. Then it hits you that it feels exactly like that day he broke up with you, this is the feeling of heartbreak.
In the end, you got your physical needs at the price of having to face your feelings and it all comes down to one conclusion: seeing him was a bad idea.
-
ONE MONTH LATER
It's like you're trapped in an endless loop, it's the weekend and you're lying on your bed, horny and bored.
Your phone is blaring with notifications and messages, you check and skim through them, they're from your friends or some other miscellaneous, you couldn't care less.
In other words, they're not the notifications you've been anticipating.
Chan has been diligently contacting you, sometimes he texted and when he's not, he calls you late at night because apparently, he's always busy during the day. The point is he always contact you by any means of communication.
However, for these past few days, it's been total radio silence. He's not even looking at the pictures you specifically posted to thirst-trap him. If only he knows how much time and energy you've spent just to get a single flattering shot of yourself. Ugh!
As you're about to spiral down, your phone dings and you consider ignoring it to spare you from getting disappointed all over again.
After a moment though, you cave in. You unlock your phone and get greeted by the very notification you've been dying to get.
What you doin'?
Busy running around in my head? He wrote a corny message and added a crying laughing emoji.
A week of no contact and that's the first thing he said? You scoff in disbelief and just stare at the messages, you've learned to make him wait for your reply and use the time to think of witty, flirty answers to his messages.
Am I running with clothes on or naked? You playfully ask back, giggling as you type it.
I think you know the answer. He wrote back with a winking emoji.
Let's hope I don't catch a cold then. You jokingly write in response.
You should stop cause it does things to me.
One minute he's corny, one minute he's cute, and the rest of the time? Hot, confident, and flirty, and you eat those shit up.
Things like what? You reply.
Like this. He wrote along with a picture.
Intrigued, you hurriedly click open the attachment and it's a picture he took of him in the mirror, wearing nothing but his white underwear. Your eyes feast on his glorious Greek God body, his sculpted abs and broad shoulders, and eventually your eyes flick down to the bulge inside his underwear.
In all honestly, it's the first thing that catches your eye because it's so fucking big and the underwear does nothing but enhance the shape and the size.
All of a sudden, you feel thirsty, literally and figuratively, and Chan knows how to make you keep swallowing air by sending you another picture.
The picture is of the same setting but in a rather different position, he's sitting on a chair, slightly slumped with his legs spread wide open and his hand holding his bulge.
Wish it was your hand.
Did he take a class on how to take good thirst traps and nudes? Because damn! Two pictures are enough to make you feel like an animal in heat.
Can I have it in my mouth instead?
Want to have you in my mouth.
Being straightforward mixed with the drooling emoji always works but what really does it is the one magic word: Please?
A minute later, there's no reply from him but your phone rings, he's calling you and you scramble to sit on the bed. You take a deep breath first before hitting the accept call button.
"Hello?"
"Gosh, I want you so much," He suddenly says, no greetings or small talk first. He goes straight to what he wants and you kind of dig that.
You giggle into the phone and playfully ask, "How much?"
"So fucking much," he emphasizes every word and lets out a heavy sigh after.
"Come and maybe I'll give it to you," you seductively say while playing with the lint on your denim shorts, "Maybe."
He chuckles and then jokingly says, "I'm on my way."
"Don't make me wait long," you play along with him but secretly wish that it's true.
You hear rustles from his end of the phone call and think he's probably calling you while lying on his bed but then, you hear the sound of bustling streets and car horns and—
"You're not really on the way, right?" You nervously ask, twisting the loose thread around your index finger.
"I told you, I'm coming," he coyly says.
Your heart skips a beat but he could be anywhere, he could be driving to work or you know, in a taxi in... Australia. Right?
"Chris..." you meekly call him.
"Yes?"
"Are you in the city?" You ask to confirm his location.
"Suprise!" He exclaims followed by a series of giggles.
Yes, you secretly wish that he was coming, but not now but not now and maybe, not ever because the last time you saw each other, things didn't end well for you.
So seeing him tonight is a bad idea, right?
"Why didn't you—" You don't know how to word it without sounding like you're not grateful for his surprise.
"I want to see you," he says, cutting through your silence, "Do you want to see me too?"
What should you do? You don't want him to come but at the same time, you want him to come. Oh, God, this is so confusing!
You want to lie so badly but your heart won't let you, "I want to see you," you openly admit.
"I'm coming so wait for me, yeah?" He softly mutters.
"Okay," you weakly reply.
"I'll see you in a bit," he says with a smile that you can hear through the phone.
"See you."
The second you hang up the call, you start pacing back and forth in your room. He'll be here anytime soon and it'll be just like that night all over again.
You almost jump when the knock comes on the door and you slowly walk to the door, just standing there with your hand on the knob, debating if you should ignore him and pretend you're not home.
The knocks come again and reflexively, you turn the knob and pull the door open.
There he is in a white shirt and blue jeans, the simplest way of dressing yet somehow, it looks incredibly stunning on him.
"Hi," he says with a sweet grin on his face.
His hair is slightly tousled, he smells incredible and those dimples have the power to make you soften around him almost immediately, they're your kryptonite.
"Hi," you say back, lingering by the doorway.
"Brought you wine," he says, showing the bottle of red wine in his hand.
You tilt your head to the side and fight the urge to jump at him and climb him like a tree.
"That's so nice of you," you say with a smile.
"Can I come in?" He asks, gesturing his head toward the inside of your apartment.
But it's a bad idea, right?
However, you find yourself nodding and you step aside, "You may come in."
Chan steps inside and you close the door behind you after. The second you turn around, he pushes you to the wall and crashes his lips against yours.
And you know what? Fuck it! It's fine.
-
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dark-fics-4-you · 11 months ago
Note
Heyyy saw ur request were open what about dark!rafe catches you talking shit about him to your friends over text???
How a Girlfriend is Supposed to Act
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Warnings: noncon, forced sex, domestic violence, choking, slapping, oral (m!recieving), toxic relationship, gaslighting
Despite being with Rafe for almost a year, you had learned all of the quirks that he had when it came to his possessiveness very early on.
The first time you caught him reading your texts, you were surprised by just how nonchalant he was about the entire situation.
He was sitting on your bed after you returned from grabbing the two of you a snack, scrolling through your phone, not even bothering to look up at you until you asked him what he was doing.
“You’re my girlfriend, Y/N.” He said it slowly, like he was reminding you of something you yourself couldn’t possibly forgot. The accusing fire in his gaze made you squirm. “Of course I have the right to look through your phone.”
At first you were too surprised to react. You had never really had a reason to look through Rafe’s phone, but you imagined he wouldn’t be too happy if you did.
“Why the fuck do you look so nervous, huh?” He was starting to sound annoyed, and his eyes were flicking between meeting yours and scanning your phone. “Got something you’re trying to hide from me?”
“What? No, Rafe! I just didn’t expect to find you going through my phone, that’s all.” You explained breathlessly. You didn’t know why he was accusing you of trying to keep secrets from him.
Unfortunately, the last thing that you should have done in that moment was try to snatch your phone away from Rafe.
His hand shot out, tightly gripping your wrist as he dug his fingers into the bone beneath your skin. You cried out in pain and watched as your phone fell onto the bed, before bouncing to the floor.
Your boyfriend was furious now, easily pulling you onto the bed by your wrist and onto your back at a painful angle before straddling you. You struggled beneath him, trying hopelessly to stop him from putting his hands on you
When Rafe slapped you across the face the first time, your ears rang and you swore that your vision went white for a moment.
Every sound became muffled but you could hear Rafe angrily chastising you from above, “dumb bitch. I mean, I pay for your fucking phone, so yeah, you’re not gonna talk back to me when I go through it.”
That was months ago, and you later learned that that wasn’t even the first time that Rafe had gone through your phone.
You weren’t cheating on Rafe, that much was 100% true. The problem was that Rafe’s definition of cheating included behaviors that you knew were not cheating.
Texting your classmate a question about homework turned into a two hour long fight that culminated in Rafe giving you a black eye.
After Rafe saw you had and Topper had sent each other a couple funny posts in instagram dm’s, he choked you so hard you passed out, leaving you to cover up the extensive bruising on your neck around your friends and family to avoid explaining what had happened.
Ever since then you had learned to be careful about who you texted, and if you ever texted anyone Rafe wouldn’t approve or said something that he wouldn’t like, you made sure to delete the conversations.
You were always so diligent in covering your tracks.
Except for the one time you really needed to.
After another argument with Rafe had become physical, once you finally got some space away from him you had texted a friend, vaguely venting your frustrations with him, without revealing too many details to make her suspicious that Rafe was hurting you.
As you shakily typed out the texts you couldn’t help but think back on the fight you had had. After catching a guy staring at you in the club, the moment you returned home, Rafe had been quick to grab you by the throat, pushing you up against the wall before hurling insults at you.
“I mean you dress like such a fucking slut, no wonder I have to chase these guys off. I bet you wanted his attention, didn’t you?” His eyes narrowed as he looked down at you with disgust.
You were so shocked by his outburst you had barely registered the fingers crushed your throat, and you finally gasped for air against his strong hand. “N-no, Rafe!”
His grip tightened as he regarded your fearful eyes, “nah, you always think you can fool me sweetheart but you never can.” His chuckled, but there was no hint of humor in his eyes, “I saw you looking at him when we first walked in.”
You shook your head against him, tears gathering in your eyes as you begged with him, “I wasn’t baby-”
“Shut the fuck up, Y/N.” He spat at you, squeezing so hard you were sure you would have deep purple bruises on your neck tomorrow.
“I never should have let you outta the house wearing that dress. You were looking for trouble walking around like that.” Rafe growled, his eyes were ice cold. You knew that he was itching for a fight, and you didn’t want to give him what he wanted.
“I’m sorry,” you struggled to force the words out with such little breath and Rafe finally gave you a respite when he loosened his grip on your throat. “You okayed it before we went out, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“I knew every guy at that bar would be trying to fuck you with their eyes, but I didn’t think you’d be doing the same to them!” The more he spoke, the more pissed off he seemed to be making himself. You knew that he was just convincing himself that his actions were justified.
When he tossed you to the floor, you yelped in pain when your shoulder hit the hard wood. You barely had time to reach for your tender neck before Rafe grabbed a fistful of your hair and forced you to look up at him.
“I mean, do you even love me anymore, Y/N?” His voice sounded hurt, and even though this wasn’t the first time he had used this card on you in the middle of putting his hands on you, you couldn’t deny the tug on your heartstrings you had when you looked into your boyfriend’s eyes.
“Of course I do, Rafe!” You insisted, knowing that your enthusiasm was expected and there would be consequences if you didn’t play along.
You were terrified of your boyfriend, and after being with him for so long, you were aware of the ways to deescalate a tense situation. In moments like these you would have said anything to protect yourself.
“Nah, you don’t mean that. You haven’t been yourself lately baby. Always too busy with work to spend time with me and now you’re talking back to me?” He shook his head, tsk-ing as he glared at you disgustedly. “Not to mention, you haven’t been fulfilling all of your duties as my girlfriend.”
You stared at him, puzzled and not understanding his meaning, “what are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?” He repeated back to you in a mocking tone, like he couldn’t believe how dumb you were to not get it. “I mean, it’s been, what, five days since you last let me have sex with you? I have needs, Y/N. And when you can’t just lay on your back and spread your legs for me, you’re being a bad girlfriend.”
His words stung, and you couldn’t tell if the tears in your eyes were because of the large hand tangled into your hair, or because your boyfriend was acting like you owed him sex, like you were in the wrong right now.
“Now you’re gonna make it up to me, because you are really pissing me off right now, and I don’t want to hear any fucking complaints, do you understand?”
Your body was screaming in resistance, but you numbly realized that you were nodding your head. Rafe’s hand left your hair, finding your chin and gripping your jaw hard.
“Use your words, sweetheart,” the sick grin that was spread across his lips told you exactly how much Rafe was getting off on your humiliation right now and you wanted to be sick.
“I understand.” You forced the words past your gritted teeth, swallowing down the bile that threatened to come up.
Rafe unbuttoned his pants before sliding the zipper down and pushing them down his legs before pulling off his boxers as well.
His dick was hard, a bead of precum already pearled at the tip of his intimidating length.
You swallowed nervously, already afraid of how rough your boyfriend was going to be. You felt like you weren’t ready at all, but the sharp pain the bloomed on your cheek after Rafe slapped you told you that you must have hesitated for too long.
“Quit your damn procrastinating, Y/N,” he hissed, tangling his fingers into your hair again and pulling you to his dick, forcing the tip past your plump lips.
You didn’t have any time to be surprised, gagging and choking on him as he pushed himself deeper towards your throat. He groaned at the feeling of your throat squeezing his cock, urging himself further into the back of your mouth.
Rafe was in heaven, basking in the sight of your teary eyes and the ruined mascara that now trailed down your cheeks. You had looked so pretty at the club tonight, but now you were a crying mess. The noises of your gagging and the steady sound of Rafe’s cock hitting the back of your throat filled the space. Nothing had ever made Rafe hornier than seeing your beautiful, tear filled eyes begging and pleading with his.
He reached out to your cheek, wiping up a bit of saliva that had been forced past your lips. Your glassy eyes were unfocused now that you had given up any thoughts of resistance, too cock drunk to try protesting against the stronger man.
You were doing all you could not to gag on him and choke, knowing full well that that would only spur him on. Every time you pushed at his thigh to get him to ease up, he would slap your hand away with an annoyed grunt.
His pace was relentless now, one hand was gripping your hair and the other was at your throat, holding you still so he could push himself deeper.
“That’s right baby, fuck,” he bit back his groans, ignoring your gagging and desperate eyes when he forced himself too far down your throat, literally choking you with his cock. “Oh fuck- god Y/N, you’re better than any sex doll, you know why?”
He knew you couldn’t answer him, especially since he had started thrusting faster past your messy lips, but he still paused to drink in the sight before him.
“Because they can’t fight back,” Rafe sneered, picking up his pace again, reaching a punishing fervor.
The blond’s dick was slamming into the back of your throat while the large hand at your throat squeezed in warning anytime you so much tried to pull back.
He sped up on final time, chasing his high by forcing you to take all of his cock. Rafe held you in place and watched you choke on him for a couple seconds before letting out a low groan and spilling his salty seed down your throat, giving you no choice but to swallow every drop of it.
When he pulled his dick out of your mouth, you took a gasping breath, but weren’t allowed much air before Rafe slapped you across the face hard.
“From now on, I expect this and more from you every night we’re together. Because that’s how my girlfriend is supposed to act. And if you think about giving me any lip about that, then I’m gonna make you wish you had just kept your pretty mouth shut, got it?”
That rest of the night was no better than the beginning, after Rafe had helped you clean up, he basically immediately led you to your bed.
He chuckled in satisfaction when you didn’t fight back against his wandering hands, and as held tight to your wrists, plunging his cock into your slick cunt, he didn’t say anything about the tears rolling down your cheeks.
The next morning you had woken up sore, your entire body ached, and you weren’t surprised when you looked in the mirror and saw the red and purple blooming around your throat.
Rafe was still asleep, his deep snores letting you know that he wouldn’t be waking up soon.
You quietly snuck into the bathroom, grabbing your phone off of the bedside table on the way. Once you had shut and locked the door behind you, you exhaled deeply, unlocking your phone to check for messages.
Your friend had texted you asking how your night had gone, and feeling perhaps a little too honest, you told her that the two of you had had an “argument.”
‘he thought i was checking out a guy at the bar and said some really rude things to me last night.’ You laughed to yourself as you stared at your own words through blurry eyes. It was both funny and sad to you how used to covering for Rafe you now were.
The bathroom felt more cramped when you remembered that Rafe was just on the other side of the door, despite being asleep.
A new notification popped up soundlessly and you read your friend’s text. She was joking about gathering all of your mutual friends to gang up on Rafe.
If only she knew the extent of what Rafe had done to you. You were sure she wouldn’t be joking then. In spite of that, you were angry with Rafe and wanted to blow off a little steam with your friend.
Which is why you felt emboldened to continue texting her.
‘he’s such an asshole sometimes. i’ve been thinking about breaking it off with him soon.’
You huffed, putting your phone down before finishing up in the bathroom and opening the door.
To your surprise, Rafe was standing on the other side, waiting for you to get out before he brushed past you without a word.
You noticed he was taking longer than he usually did to just pee, and when he finally stepped out of the bathroom, you realized with a horrible chill why he had been in there for so long.
Clutched in his hand was your cellphone, and you could see that it was open to the messages you had just sent.
“‘He’s such an asshole, I’ve been thinking about breaking it off??’” His voice was cold and you cringed hearing him speak your words. There was no denying he had read your texts.
You shivered, frozen in place as he stared you down, his blue eyes boring so deep into you that you swore you could feel them burning straight through you.
Your mouth was so dry, you had never felt so afraid of your boyfriend before. Even after everything he had put you through, you had never said anything about breaking up with him to his face. “Rafe, I-”
If your instincts hadn’t kicked in, you would have taken the blow right to your nose, however you had been lucky enough to dodge the phone fast enough that it only nicked your forehead before smashing into pieces against the wall behind you.
Unfortunately, while you had been focused on dodging your phone, the taller man had closed the gap between you, easily pushing you up against the wall by your throat and choking you with both hands. Rafe’s fingers pressed down against the bruises that they had left there the previous night.
You wanted to scream, but Rafe had knocked the wind out of you and no matter how hard you shoved him, he wasn’t giving up.
“You’re mine,” he hissed as you struggled against him. “Maybe I’ve been hitting you too much recently, because I don’t remember you being this stupid when we first started dating.”
Before you could comprehend what was happening, Rafe had spun you around and pushed you face first into the bed. One of his hands was forcing your head against the mattress, while the other pawed at your silk pajama shorts, opting to rip away the fabric covering you before freeing his hard cock from his boxers.
“You think I’m an asshole?” He growled, the tip of his cock brushed against your slick cunt and you shuddered at the feel of him beginning to force himself inside of you.
“I’ll show you how much of an asshole I can be.”
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morganbritton132 · 2 months ago
Note
we haven’t heard much about the shared calendar in a while, any new events (other than scheduled sex) added recently?
(Sorry, I saw this ask when you sent it and have wanted to respond to it but for some reason, it is so much harder to sit down and write a response to an ask than it is to just word vomit a post for the AU.)
A few things have happened with the shared calendar.
1. Steve forgot to put that he had plans with his teacher friend group on the calendar and The Party planned something for the same time. It was no big deal but everybody gave him shit about it because that’s what he does when someone forgets to update the calendar.
2. Dustin figured out how to insert a picture into a scheduled event so now he’ll block out time on Saturday and it’s just a google image of a frog. This pisses Steve off to no end. It is hilarious.
3. Steve had to use his personal computer for something he was doing in class so his entire third period saw an event notification that just said ‘PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE LOOK AT YHE GROUP CHAT - E’
4. El lives in a van and travels a lot. She sells the things she makes at craft fairs all over the country but for the most part, she doesn’t have plans so she doesn’t use the calendar much (she posts pictures in the GC to let people know what she’s up to). But every now and again, she put something on the calendar.
A week from now, she’s scheduled ‘DEATH.’
They later found out, she just need to be in Death Valley for a festival and informed her that she absolutely cannot shorten that.
5. Erica doesn’t participate in the group calendar the same way the others do because she thinks that’s a security risk, but she will schedule when she has free time. This is solely to appease Steve.
6. Lucas was putting in that him and Max were going to a baby shower for one of the ER nurses two weeks from now but a code came into the emergency room so he just hit submit with the event description ‘Lumax Baby.’ There were several missed calls when he checked his phone an hour later.
7. Their FBI agent has access to their shared calendar and sometimes when one of them is particularly annoying, they will delete something off the calendar. They are aware that this is petty.
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