#but better! and i think ill feel really really good once i change over to the new stuff =)

[rainyjackalope]

People grow and change! And sometimes how we show ourselves to the world has to change too. It's nothing to feel guilty about, and you're not throwing away the history with your old avatar. You can acknowledge and move forward, looking back fondly.

Several years ago I switched my main species from cat to rabbit. There were several reasons for this change, but looking back now, I'm definitely not that same person who was showing the cat to the world; rabbit fits me so much better.

Except now that it doesn't. Transitioning, and going through my own journey as a gender fluid person made me realize that having multiple fursonas is a better way for me to express where I am on the gender spectrum in any given day.

What I'm getting at is life is a journey, and you're going to change on that journey, and it is wonderful and fantastic. There's nothing that says you are avatar can't change along with you.

Head up, chest out. You got this. And it seems like you've got a really great community here to support you as well.

Absolutely! Well said. I try not to feel too bad, especially having experience with making radical shifts in how I present myself anyways with gender stuff, but I guess more than anything I feel kind of sad for myself that I've changed to where they don't fit anymore after being with them for so long. Which is logically silly of course, ultimately it's pretty cool to change so drastically and move on to new things and continue pursuing what makes one happiest even if it's different from what it used to be. I think a lot of people aren't as happy as they could be specifically because they refuse to change and adapt to their own needs.

But thank you for the lovely response! I feel weird about the whole thing at the moment because it almost feels like I'm grieving a different me a little bit, but I will carry on happier as a result for sure. A lot of this is specifically about my transition too. Rainy is who I've had the whole time I've been agender but was too scared to push further into transitioning more completely or changing my presentation 'too drastically' and it feels like that mental place is kind of stuck on them for me. Like I can't carry them with me into the next place I'm going. They're like a moment of my life captured in amber, much like my first fursona is for my teen years. Applying who I am now to them feels...weirdly wrong, somehow. But it'll all be just fine in the end =) I love them always, but just need a different muse for a different time.

[biscuitdolly]

˚₊‧ ꒰ა traits and habits that your future self will thank you for .ᐟ 🫧🎀🧁

📧 -> my first long post in a while 🫶 I've had my ups and downs recently but for the most part life has been pretty good.

O1 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ don't overshare.

you don't have to be nonchalant and mysterious, but take a moment to consider your words before you speak. (e.g. "will i regret telling this person this piece of information in the future?")

O2 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ learn how to listen + let people talk.

It's crucial to make others feel heard, even when you might not share their viewpoint. Never cut someone off on purpose whilst they're speaking, it can really hurt someones feelings. if you accidentally cut someone off, always apologize and let them finish speaking once you've said your point.

O3 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ learn how to say no.

i know it's hard not to be a people-pleaser, but learning to say no to things that don't align with you is so important. It can help you avoid uncomfortable, awkward, and even risky situations. Setting boundaries is hard but being taken advantage of is harder.

O4 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ nourish yourself.

Make it a habit to eat meals regularly. Reduce your sugar intake. Embrace healthier food choices. Establish a skincare routine. Treat yourself to a shower after a long day. Stay hydrated. These simple changes can be easily integrated into your daily routine and will significantly enhance your life for the better.

O5 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ process over outcome.

sure, while it's great to imagine our ideal life, simply visualizing it won't automatically lead us to success. It can certainly boost our motivation, but relying solely on wishful thinking won't take us to our desired destination. enjoy the process of achieving your goal rather than just focusing on the end result.

O6 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ focus on yourself.

this is super cliche, i know. but it truly has a significant impact. Picture this -> you're sitting for a math exam, and you glance over at your desk partner's work, only to see completely different answers. You've always admired this person, so you quickly assume your answers must be wrong and decide to change them to match theirs. When the results come back, you discover that your original answers were spot on, but now you've failed because you chose to follow someone else instead of trusting your gut. Just because others are taking a different path doesn't mean it's the right one for you, or that the other person is necessarily "correct". It's important to remember that comparing ourselves to others can lead to unnecessary stress and self-doubt. Stay true to yourself and your own journey!

O7 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ become knowledgeable.

during school, we all learn about basics like maths and english. Exploring fascinating subjects like philosophy, geography, and astronomy can really broaden your horizons. You can also research topics that relate to your interests, such as anatomy, colour theory, fashion history, etc.

O8 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ stop with the shit talking.

talking ill about others is possibly the most unattractive thing you could possibly do. Afterall, what goes around comes around, and it will come to bite you back.

O9 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ kindness is key.

smile at strangers, say hi to people you know in the halls. engage in light conversations and share compliments with those around you. Being recognized as "the friendly one" can lead to countless opportunities for friendships and relationships. Step out of your comfort zone a bit! Just a simple smile can brighten someone's day, often in ways you might not even notice.

1O 𝜗𝜚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ i can't relate to desperation ♪

he doesn't want you? that's fine, move on. certain things just aren't meant to be, so don't push it. if someone doesn't like you, there's nothing you can do about it. why waste your time on some dumb guy?

[vaguely-concerned]

when spite describes itself in lucanis' journals, it seems to consistently use the wording 'a small shade'. self-identified 'just a little guy (threat)' fhsak. I really like that wording, though. a shade, something cut off from the wholeness and living light that is the fade and made a shadow cast by someone else in the real world. 'small', under threat, vulnerable, sort of scrappy (and perhaps a little pathetic but in a 'don't touch me I'll bite!!!' kind of way haha).

I'm so in my feelings over how in the last journal it/he describes the two of them as 'a small shade and a wounded spirit sitting together', though. he's so confused and frustrated about what's going on with lucanis at the beginning, but once rook explains that lucanis isn't intentionally fucking with him, he's just hurting, spite seems to understand and accept that pretty readily (if not without some initial 'ugh FINE physical reality rules are so DUMB bitch you guys live like this' frustration lol). lucanis' early statements that spite doesn't, can't or won't learn are obviously bullshit and the game basically tells you so the moment he says it haha, but you know what. that is some deep learning spite is doing, and in like a year of being in the physical world too. I know plenty of actual real adult human beings who are not capable of that level of insight.

and also, as an aside... I think it's pretty conclusively proven in the series that spirits do have the ability to change and learn all on their own when they get the opportunity to and that it gets turbocharged for good or ill when they're exposed to the physical world. but I also wonder if some of it is the other side of the two way connection. just as spite flows into lucanis, surely that must happen after some fashion the other way too. does spite have some access to/come into contact with lucanis' kneejerk empathy response? to be in opposition to something or someone is not the same thing as not understanding them or where they're coming from, after all. in fact sometimes that can amplify the 'no no trust me I get it I understand. but fuck you doubly for it actually you still suck that why only makes it worse', so I don't feel that would go against spite's nature, even. lucanis already has such an interesting relationship to his own empathy all on his own -- he's a prime example of how 'empathy' and 'compassion' are not inherently the same process and one need not accompany the other. when he's in contract mode, empathy is just a knife, a way to understand people deeply so he can stab them better and more efficiently. when he's in family mode, empathy is accompanied with enough tenderness and compassion and warmth that it makes me feel ill to consider and makes it a bit hard for him to stay with, sometimes. it's the same skill/instinct, but shows up differently based on the context he's in. sure why not drop a demon in there and see what happens I guess lol. 'smells like tears and lying' anyone. spite's response to meeting compassion out in the world is 'GOD no don't make eye contact keep walking this is so fucking cringe', but uh. there's no way for him to escape it within the bounds of the person he's been frankensteined into, is there. aaaah it's so interesting.

there's something so fascinating to me about two souls who are so close they can't help but reflect and bleed into each other, but also remain two separate entities who can look at each other. and be mutually protective about it, clearly. augh.

[v88sy]

ooooh don't even get me started on how one-sided the Eddie-Buck "friendship" is oh my god.

Buck has showed up for Eddie consistently since he was fucking introduced. He's been there for Eddie through basically EVERY crisis, but when - genuinely - was the last time that Eddie was there for Buck, without ulterior motives, without excuses, without foisting Chris off on him to "fix" him? I literally cannot find an example of that.

Buck has been there. Buck is the one who asks "how high" every time Eddie says "jump", and Eddie can't even be bothered to be kind to him during a high-stress moment, when he should know by now that Buck doesn't handle stress well in his personal life. Buck doesn't handle being left behind well at all, and Eddie just doesn't fucking care.

He was the same in s5. He left the 118 without any kind of discussion - not that he needed Buck's permission or anything like that but a heads up would've been the kind thing to do for his supposed "best friend" - and then made Buck seem like the unreasonable one for being upset by it.

Over and over Eddie has accused Buck of "making everything about you", and that is not the behaviour of a good friend, much less a "best friend".

Their "friendship" is entirely one-sided. Buck likes Eddie for who he is. Eddie likes Buck for what Buck can do for him.

But god forbid we ever speak ill of the man who carelessly bulldozed his son's sanity and his "best friend's" self-esteem repeatedly just to get his own dick wet.

(I don't hate Eddie, ftr, but he's not a good friend, and he hasn't been a good dad for a While, and I'm sick of people acting like he's some sort of saint.)

Right, and no one is saying that Eddie shouldn't put his own child first. Not even Buck is saying that.

But you're right, I can't really think of time when Eddie was there unconditionally for Buck like Buck has been for him.

When he came out? Well, not being a homophobic/queerphobic asshole when your friend tells you something like that is the minimum of basic human decency, really. It doesn't make you a good friend and honestly, I think I'd have the same reaction if a total stranger shared that truth with me.

The fact that he was genuinely happy for Buck when he saw that he was happy with Tommy? Again, the bare minimum of what you should want for another human being if you have even an ounce of empathy in your body. Of course you wouldn't wish for another person to be unhappy in their relationship.

And notice how that support stopped once the relationship was over. Not once do we actually see him talking to Buck about what happened, trying to understand it, or just offering to listen. Instead he snatches Buck's phone away when he feels the need to call Tommy, treating Buck like some child.

Honestly, it's so mind boggling to me how everything has been written. Is this on purpose? It would seem so, considering how Ryan and Tim talk about Buck in their interviews. I truly don't understand.

Why intentionally make your own show so damn bad? Why intentionally write one of your mains as just an all around awful person? Or do you just fail to realize that this is not how a found family should treat each other, and yes, people DO grow and change for the better. It's ok, and even more so, it's what people want to see.

[lvmimis]

cw: platonic!zoro x reader. established romantic relationship with luffy. selfship-coded, reader has a devil fruit.

It’s not often that you and Zoro end up alone together, but today it really is just the two of you, him carrying the majority of the provisions you’d gone into town to collect for the next leg of your trip, and the remainder in the safekeeping of your internal storage. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to just stow away the rest?” you ask for the third time and by this time, Zoro decides to pretend he can’t hear you. In any other scenario, you’d make a comment about him needing to get over that silly fear of being emasculated, but for now you allow it, shoving your free hands in your pockets as you continue on on your stroll.

Even if when you’re around the rest of the crew there’s a huge and frequent show of you generally disliking each other, it’s hard to bicker when it’s just the two of you, because the truth is that you appreciate him tremendously. Zoro doesn’t always talk much, but he’s honest, and that is particularly important to you, making it easy to pour out your heart to him.

Perhaps that’s why today, you feel compelled to tell him exactly how you’ve been feeling these days since your return from the last island. Luffy has been asleep for days, recovering from injury that would probably have killed you on the spot, and while he apologized upon waking up two days ago to see you saddled with huge undereye circles and an open book with tear-staged pages at the foot of his bed, the fact of the matter is that you’re not sure how much longer you can handle this.

The crew is familiar with his wanton disregard for his own life, and perhaps you should know better by now, but it’s just too hard sometimes, and you can feel your heart starting to fill with resentment, and even that adds to your guilt.

Luffy is free, and freedom means choosing to live your life however dangerously you want.

“You know I hate complaining about him, and I know you’ll just tell me that I shouldn’t expect otherwise from Luffy, but just once, I wish he would take better care of himself.”

The thought slips out in a small voice, and Zoro lets it marinate in the quiet afternoon air. Discomfort rises like bile in your throat.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” you immediately backtrack, but Zoro looks at you and shrugs.

“I get it. It’s fine.”

You bite your lower lip, keeping the gaze at the ground before you. Zoro should know that you’re only frustrated, that you love Luffy more than anything, and don’t mean to speak ill of him, right? It’s just eating at you, the idea that only one of you is preoccupied with the idea of separating for good.

Luffy would be fine without you even in death. You, on the other hand…

You take in a deep breath.

“I trust him,” you say out loud, to which Zoro chuckles to himself for a moment, which makes your cheeks warm in embarrassment.

“What’s so funny?!”

“That you’re this worried about him.” Zoro shoots you a glance, and mercilessly adds - 

“Realistically, you’d probably croak before he does.”

“Wow!” you exclaim in dramatized offense. 

Zoro shrugs. “I mean, I guess he probably cares enough about you that he wouldn’t allow that to happen, but still, I don’t think much can put that guy down for good.”

You pout, but something about that is reassuring, and that heaviness in your chest seems to alleviate just so.

“I guess that’s a relief.”

Zoro snorts again, which has you frowning at him again.

“Is it really this funny?” you ask, indignantly, but when he finally speaks again, his tone is serious.

“I think you’re misunderstanding him a bit,” he finally adds. Stopping for a moment, he gives you his full attention, and suddenly your heart starts to thump at the change in mood. He sizes you up for a moment, as if he’s trying to decide if what he has to tell you is worth it in any way, then lets out a sigh.

“He told me if something ever happened to him, there are a few things he wants to make sure happen for you, so that you’re okay.”

Your eyes widen for a moment, incredulous.

“What?”

Zoro resumes his stride.

“Can’t tell you what they are, though.”

You find yourself running to catch up to him, your heart pounding in your chest. The idea that Luffy has thought ahead, considering you even in the process, is almost too good to be true. 

“So what was the point of even telling me?!” you hiss.

“So you don’t make up some narrative about not being cared for in your head, dumbass.” Zoro says. You stick your tongue out at him which has him scoff and look away, but you’re thankful.

The ship starts to reappear along the horizon and your outlook has changed a bit.

…

By the time you make it back on the ship again, Luffy has woken up from his restorative slumber and is already asking you if you brought any meat amongst your groceries, an arm looping around your shoulders and your waist. But instead of pushing him off of you for grabbing you too quickly, you look at him for a moment, and the sudden affection in your eyes is enough that it actually catches him by surprise.

“Hey, ___, what’s up?” he asks as you really take him in, but you just smile and plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Nothing. I’m just glad you’re back.”

He grins widely. 

“Can’t get rid of me if you tried.”

[malereadermaniac]

ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ Fever ~ Ukai x male reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Plot: Your husband takes care of you while you're ill, in more ways than one (Fluff & Smut)

Featuring: Top!Ukai x Bottom!Reader

Warnings: Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI

"Why d'you think coach left halfway through practice?" Shoyo looked up at Daichi as he questioned the taller man

"Not a clue... but he looked real worried, and he left in a hurry, I guess" Daichi responds, a quizzical look on his face

"Are you on about coach Ukai? Kiyoko told me that he had to leave to be with his husband. She was with him when he got the text that his husband was sent home with a fever" Yaichi says with a small smile as she makes her way into the conversation

"Really?? How bad is it?" Daichi says

"Really?? HUSBAND??" Shoyo says unanimously

"What? You didn't know? Coach never shuts up about 'the love of his life'" daichi says in a funny voice, mocking Keishin

The highschoolers laugh about at their conversation - in contrast to their coach, who had just arrived home in a slightly worried state

The disheveled blonde barely took the time to remove his shoes, kicking them off in random directions as he darts towards your shared bedroom

He finds you in bed, completely covered in blankets and still shivering while visibly sweating and bright red

"Oh babe... you should of just told me you weren't feeling too good" Keishin coos at you, feeling bad that he let you go to work - you'd even packed his lunch for him

"Nggghh... I didn't feel this bad this morning though..." you whine, visibly uncomfortable from your cold

Ukai continues to baby you as he sets out on his plan of action

You'd think the man was running the navy at how seriously he was taking his caring for you

The muscular, older man had opened a window slightly to air the room out, brought you cold, wet towels, gently placing them on your forehead as he stroked your face lovingly

Ukai brewed you a quick soup and kneeled down next to you in bed, sitting you up slightly and feeding you the warm liquid

It was moments like these that reminded you of the many reasons you loved your husband to death and back

Ukai was so caring, he didn't mind looking after you, he even enjoyed it

You could see it in the blonde's eyes, the love and compassion he felt strongly for you - He's such a cute hunk of a man

After spending most of the afternoon looking after you, Ukai finally took a little break, changing out of his work clothes into a tank and some grey sweatpants

But just as he sat down for a quick second, Keishin heard you calling for him

However, he could tell from the tone of your voice that you weren't calling him due to your cold...

And his suspicions got confirmed once Ukai caressed your cheek asking "what's up, baby?" - and you responded by biting your lip and looking up at your husband with a look he knows all to well, grabbing his arm gently with your boiling hand

It makes sense for you to be horny in this moment, work stress and the cold coming onto you had made you not want to engage in sex with Ukai

Now that you had a moment to relax, that pent up sexual frustration had caught up to you...

"Heh... baby you can barely stand up, we're not fuckin'" Keishin chuckles at you, pouting slightly

"Ughh pleassseeeee~ Keishin I need you... I need your big dick in me right now! I wanna feel you~" you practically beg your husband to fuck your guts up

And Keishin can only deny the best feeling he's ever felt (fucking you to high heaven) so much

And whats even better is that because of Ukai's caring nature, the blonde won't allow you to put in any effort due to your fever

Hey, you're not complaining!

In a matter of seconds, your clothes are discarded to the floor along with your muscular husband's tank top - his muscles on full display for your hazy, tired eyes to oggle at

You lie on the bed, breathing slightly heavily as your body is slightly flushed and sweating - Ukai touching you as gently as he can as he bends down over you and goes in to kiss you

You sum up all of your strength and effort you have left for the day to block your mouth before Ukai can kiss you

The now horny man moves away and gives you a confused look

"You shouldn't kiss me, I'll get you sick..." you say with a sad smile, moving your hand to your husband's broad shoulder and toned chest

Ukai smiles sadly and chuckles, moving his mouth to your boiling body instead

"Doesn't mean I can't kiss your sexy body~" Keishin mumbles, making you chuckle as the sensation of your husband's lips on your overly sensitive body (due to your cold) makes your dick go rock solid instantly

Ukai's lips somehow feel cold on your body - the heat of your body fucking up your sense of temperature

By the time the blonde had reached you desperate dick, Ukai's fingers were already covered in his spit and prodding at your hole

Your lazy moans bounced around the room as Ukai licked and sucked your cock as he fingered your hole - his long, masculine digits pushing against your prostate with every move

"Shit babe, your ass is fuckin' warm, my fingers are melting~" Ukai mumbles against your dick, grinding his own against the bed - excited by the thought of getting his dick inside of your oven of an asshole

After what felt like hours, Keishin finally removes his fingers from your now loosened up entrance

Resisting the urge to kiss you, Ukai instead kisses your forehead and then gives you a warm smile as he moves one of your legs onto his strong shoulder

You take a deep breath as you wait for Ukai to start pushing in

Your moans increased tenfold, your cold making you much more sensitive - Ukai's moans joined yours, your hole tightening around his thick cock making your husband feel euphoric

Once Ukai had bottomed out, the man hovered over you, letting out a shaky sigh as his muscular arms held him up - positioned on either side of your head

"F-fuck babe...! You're boiling my dick like a 7-11 hotdog! Heh heh..."

Your fever was really serving a purpose in this moment, the heat of your tight walls already pushing Ukai near the edge of his orgasm

With Ukai breathing heavily above you, waiting for you to adjust to him as he tries his hardest not to cum

After a couple of moments, you weakly bring your hot arms around your husband's muscular neck and shoulders

"Haaa... can you start moving? Please, Keishin?~" you plead, squirming around under your husband from the uncomfortable fever and also your horny desperation

Ukai chuckles from above you, mumbling a curse word as he starts to gyrate his hips

The blonde's muscular body was starting to sweat, completely covering you, his groans and moans echoing in the room as his body rocked against yours

You joined Keishin in a harmony of moans, whines spewing out of your mouth from Ukai's veiny, long dick pounding into your prostate - rubbing his cock against your gummy walls, stimulating you both to the brink of orgasm

As Ukai keeps his thrusts going at a steady pace, one slightly slower than usual to make room for your weaker state

"Fuuuuck baby~ So good fa' me... So fuckin' warm" Keishin moans above you, moving his head down to the crook of your neck and kissing and biting at it

You lazily move your hips in tempo with Ukai's, eagerly anticipating the orgasm you so desperately crave for

As your husband's sweat makes his blonde hair stick to his forehead, his pace starts to become uneven - his rhythm disrupted by the oncoming pleasure of his incoming climax

Your moans of Keishin's name increased in volume gradually until your voice came to a halt - unable to resort to anything else, you just silent scream in pleasure

Ukai's hips come to a halt, his heavy balls slapping against your plush ass, his fat cock buried inside of you - stuffing your ass fully

"GAHH! Fuuuuuck, [Name]... shit, babe!" Ukai moans loudly from above you, filling your hole with his thick cum

As Keishin stuffs your guts with his seed, your own dick spasms and spurts out long strings of white cum up your body and even covering Keishin's abs

Your muscles tense to such an overstimulating extent due to your cold, your moans start to fall of deaf ears as you writhe and whine and moan is immense pleasure

After getting yourselves together, Ukai and you stay in your previous positions, recuperating your breaths as you relax your muscles

Keishin chuckles and pats your cheek, snapping you out of your little come down

"Heh... thanks, pretty boy - I needed that" Ukai says with a soft smile

" Hmhm... yeah... I did too, thanks, sexy~" you chuckle, your voice nasaly from your cold

As Ukai carries you bridal style to the tub, he kisses your head, taking in the scent that he dreams about

After washing up together and getting into a pair of fresh clothes, Ukai sets you on the couch in front of the TV as he changes your sheets - the linen currently stained with your sweat and both yours and Ukai's cum

The rest of the day was spent cuddling, Keishin taking care of your every need - which, of course, meant taking care of any sexual needs that reared their beautiful heads

[huellitaa]

౨ৎ ⋆｡• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair

don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!

don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc

if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products

i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!

now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡

i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without

also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓

don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute

airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body

DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)

using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3

exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now

partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.

make sure you're eating properly. remember that 1400 to 2400 calories of nutritious substance is the MINIMUM. this of course depends on many variables including, weight, height, BMR, what it is your eating, et cetera. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected !!! ♡ (💭🎀edit: updated info on calories and nutrition from a lovely anon i received a message from this morning! ♡)

change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!

i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good

dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face

skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.

on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!

never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good

stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder

make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)

pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖

cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)

hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)

i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend

i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me

i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡

[r4fe-cam3ron]

Hello again! I have an idea for part two, if you like it.

What if y/n doesn’t take care of the wound (they’ve got a lot going on after all) and they start to get sick from it. Maybe they collapse/get really sick somewhere public. The Pogues don’t know what’s happening but Rafe does so he runs over and tries to help. Then all the Pogues are like ‘what the hell, how does he know?!’

If you like it, if not it’s totally fine! ❤️

an; oh my goodness, lovie (hopefully you see this plus the ones who requested a second part to my maybank!reader oneshot which you can find here!) i’m so so sorry that i had not replied to this sooner than i should’ve. there had been a lot going on along with a major writers block. i’m using this request to be sure i answer you and to thank you for being THIS patient. i will probably kind of change this request up a bit, but ill try to keep some of it in the writing! — just wanna also note im still only on season two of OBX !! so if anything is ooc, that is definitely why and i apologize! w; this honestly is longer than i wanted it to be but hey, what can you do? mentions of an injury, for this im still imagining s1 rafe (ignore s2 gif </333 thats the only one i could vibe with for this at the moment), mentions of drug and drug usage, abuse though i never directly speak of how anything happens, follows the show only slightly but not completely, a little something, something with john b though not quite disclosed (i added a scene just for this — hopefully that’s okay with everyone!)

the boneyard is somewhere nice to come when you need to think and pull away from reality for a bit. you were right — you would apologize to jj and help him with whatever john b and he needed help with.

you’d also told jj about what had happened after he had saw the bloody gauze in the bathroom trash.

you left out the part where rafe cameron had helped clean it up a bit better.

that was only three days ago. somewhere in between those short days, jj had landed himself in jail for sinking toppers boat.

to say luke was angry was a complete understatement.

the hundred dollar bill had floated down to your feet when he had called you out of hiding. you bent down to pick it up.

“you know what i want.”

getting the thing you know he wanted meant seeing rafe cameron storming out of the house and down the rickety old porch that squeaks under any weight.

he’s reaching for his helmet when he finally sees you, pausing when he notices the look on your face. you don’t looked surprised, or happy, to see him.

just disappointment.

pinching his brows together, he slips the helmet over his head without saying a word and giving you another glance. the dirt picks up behind him, leaving you in dust. he doesn’t want to dissect what that look you had given him made him feel.

the exchange is quick, with some banter barry throws your way. something about how good you look today and you know you don’t have to pay.

slipping the hundred dollar bill into your pocket this time, you pat his cheek and grab the baggie from his hand. with a quick ‘thanks, barry’, you’re gone.

apparently you’d taken too long this time for luke’s liking. after the screaming match and, quite frankly, your side bleeding again, you’d found yourself sitting on the course sand.

the back of your hand wipes angrily at your tears that continue to fall. your head is pounding and your side is throbbing from being practically ripped open once again over the already healing wound.

the back of your thighs itch and you feel queasy. the heels of your palms dig into your eye sockets, a strained yell leaving behind clenched teeth.

“we’ve been looking everywhere for you!” jj’s voice startles you and has your head quickly whipping around to watch as the small group heads your way. pope is saying something you can’t quite understand, kiara is trying to get him to slow down and speak normally for a second.

john b has a slight look on your face. your not quite sure if it’s a smitten look or a disgusted look. he’s carrying a six pack under his left arm and his backpack is slung over his right shoulder.

jj’s hands come and clamp onto your shoulder, jostling you slightly. you hope none of them notice the far off look on your face and how pale you suddenly feel.

you know, soon, everyone is about to join at the boneyard. it’s inevitable and happens on almost friday, strangely enough. you were hoping to beat the crowd before it actually started.

he sits next to you while pope, kie, and john b starts up a fire. “what’s going on?”

you look over at him. “hm? what do you mean?”

a frown tugs at his mouth and he sits up straighter. “what’s wrong? did something happen at—”

“j. i’m fine,” you nod. it’s a lie and jj knows it’s a lie. but you don’t want him to worry about you. “seriously. i’m okay. it’s nothing we haven’t been through before.”

jj stares at you sadly. you’re right, though, you shouldn’t be right. this shouldn’t be something you both are used to and something that’s come to be the ‘norm’ at home. if you could even call it a home.

he’s protective over you, the way you are of him. he remembers taking up for you and taking the fall for things just so you could catch a break every so often from the lashings of luke.

yet, you’d do the exact same for jj.

‘go hide in our spot, jj! cover your ears and hum a song, okay?’ he remembers watching with wide eyes as luke had dragged you by your arm into the other room. once the door slammed and he heard your crying, he’d crawl out from under the dinning room table and run outside towards the woods.

he would hum ‘piano man’ by billy joel. it was a strange song to hum, but you both would always sing it together when it came on the radio, dancing around on the small blanket that would lay on the grass with three half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. john b included — of course.

“but i always worry. im supposed to be there for you.” jj shakes his head.

“you take on to much, j,” your hand lands on his back, patting softly. “i could take this one.” the corner of your mouth quirks slightly upwards as you shrug, the tears beginning to well in your eyes again.

jj notices, but says nothing. he only nods slightly before looking out towards the waves. you hear the trucks and rowdy teens begin to pile in, sighing as you pull your arm away from jj and stand to dust your pants off.

—

you’re still feeling queasy, the crowd — separated, but yet still crowded — makes you feel even more uncomfortable and uneasy.

you stand near kiara and pope, listening to him talk about the interview he has for the scholarship, though you don’t truly know what he’s saying.

sweat beads around your hairline, a panicked feeling settling into your chest when you hear someone shout from behind you. you quickly turn your head, only to hear it quickly dissolve into laughter no longer than a second later.

you still search for some type of danger.

kiara’s eyes look at you, a worried expression etched onto her face. pope’s words slowly stall when he notices the look on her face, his own eyes moving to stare at you this time.

“are you okay?” her hand lands on your arm and you jump from the sudden touch.

you look over at her when she drops her hand, the worry on her face only grows. “i…yeah,” you look over to pope this time and nod. “i’m fine…i just…” you motion towards the ocean, your feet moving before you could even finish your sentence.

your mouth fills with saliva suddenly and the thought of vomiting in front of a bunch of people has you dizzy and even more panicked than before.

you can hear someone say something from behind you, but you’re too busy focusing on your breathing. a hand lands on your back and you glance over to the side.

the figure looks familiar. blinking a couple of times, you make out who it is.

“rafe?”

your voice is small, quivering and it looks like you’d been stuck in a hot trailer with the windows boarded down from how much you’re sweating.

“jesus.” he mutters. he watches as you try to stand straight, stumbling over your own feet. he’s quick to grab you before you could hit the ground, cradling your head and gripping your side as he lowers you more slowly.

“hey!” his jaw clenches when he notices who’s yelling at him. john b was the closest to where you two were standing. he knew you could stand your own ground, but he stayed close just in case.

and it looks like now would be a good time to intervene. “what did you do?!” he’s gaining attention from the others. topper being the second one to make his way over.

“nothing,” rafe snaps back. “she just passed out.”

“you expect me to really believe that she passed out as soon as you walked over?” john b kneels next to your other side, tilting your head over, cradling your jaw.

rafe watches the way his thumb drags across your cheek bone, gently shaking your head. his jaw clenches. “you expect me to really believe you care that she passed out when you could’ve came over here as soon as you seen me walking over?” his eyes quickly leave your face and stare at john b who says nothing.

“make yourself useful and go get a water bottle.” rafe grabs the hem of your hoodie, silently thankful that you had a tank top underneath. john b stands and watches quietly before running off towards the cooler.

“what happened?” topper finally speaks up when rafe slips the hoodie off. “rafe?”

“nothing happened, topper! i didn’t do anything!” rafe looks over at him with anger.

“rafe! get away from her!” jj stumbles across the sand as he makes his way over. he’s drunk, but he’s trying to collect himself the best he could. “i mean it!” he yells when he notices rafe sticking in the same spot.

jj yanks the water bottle from john b’s hand, kneeling next to him. he pushes rafe away and topper grabs rafe’s arm’s before he could successfully throw the punch he wanted too.

sarah stands to the side next to john b, and suddenly, he notices the crowd. his chest heaves and lands on you once again.

“is her side bleeding again?”

jj pauses and looks down at your side before slowly turning his head to stare at rafe. “how did you know about her side?”

rafe’s mouth parts, yet no words seem to come to mind. jj’s jaw clenches as he stares at him.

“i swear, cameron, i will—” he’s cut off by a deep inhale of breath, quickly looking over as you sit up the best you could, coughing. john b is quick to kneel down by you, a hand cradling the back of your neck to push you up.

your hands dig into the sand as your eyes look around frantically, chest heaving with heavy breaths, landing on rafe.

his body slowly grows less tense when he notices. jj sticks out the water bottle. “drink this,” he stands when you grab it. “how do you know about the cut on her side, rafe?”

before rafe could even come up with a snarky reply, you answer for him. “he helped.”

jj looks at you. “what?”

“he helped me during midsummers clean it up.”

jj stares at you for a moment longer before looking back at rafe. clenching his jaw, he shakes his head. “don’t come near her again, got it?” his brows lift slightly.

“that’s not up to you.” rafe shakes his head.

john b helps you from the ground. you thank him silently before making your way over. your hand lands on jj’s shoulder.

“let’s go, j.”

jj stays silent, but his threatening stare remains on rafe for a moment longer before he turns and makes his way up to where they had parked.

rafe watches him silently, but quickly glances down when your hand brushes against his. his eyes quickly jump up to your face.

“thank you.” you mouth.

he’s still for a moment but he eventually nods.

you give him a small, weak smile as you turn and walk away from him.

[cyberm4n]

May I request a bit of Lucifer with a plus sized reader who has a breeding kink? 💕

thank you so much for this request anon it has plagued my brain /pos as someone who's midsized and VERY gay i think the plus sized ladies need more love in fanfic. i hope you like it, im not 100% happy with the writing but lmk and ill change it up :)

cw: smut, breeding kink (duh), mentions of daddy kink but it's not rly used, reader is described as plus sized could be midsized ig, cum eating?? it's not like DIRECTLY mentioned but it kinda happens??, reader is overstimulated cause lucifer wants to make her a mommy, not proofread well

other: im on vacation and working through some requests so please know your request has been noted! ill probably come out with some more alastor/reader/lucifer sometime in the next couple of days.

■ for starters, i firmly believe that he's the kind of guy to LOVE chubby girls

■ like he loves how soft you are

■ if you're laying in bed with him you better expect for him to be all over you

■ no matter what you wanna wear he thinks it hot. seeing you confident is his biggest turn on and he loves it when you are feeling your best.

■ put on some low rise jeans and that man is on his knees for you

■ safe to say this man is 100% your number 1 supporter and will hype you up no matter what

■ if you're taller than him, literally no issue. like have you seen the height difference between him and lilith?

■ look he's a guy who knows how to handle anyone of any shape/size/gender

■ he's been around since the beginning of humanity this guy knows how to fuck

■ we all know he's a munch

■ i feel like he'd be the kind of guy to be REALLY into thighs

■ like you'd be laying in bed and he'd start kissing down your body, his hands running over your curves

■ paying special attention to your lower belly before moving to your thighs

■ he likes going down on you but if you at all want to ride his face he's 100% in

■ i feel like if you hadn't asked he'd definitely have suggested it before

■ the kind of guy to like pull you down on his face

■ he wants you to SIT dammit

■ the breeding kink tho.

■ i feel like he'd already have a daddy kink but the breeding kink just adds to it yk

■ he thinks you look absolutely divine when his cum is leaking out of you

■ but on days he's particularly feeling the breeding kink, he 100% shoving his fingers in you after he pulls out.

■ gotta make sure you stay full

■ he can't help it he just loves you so much he wants to see you swollen with his child :(

"darling just one more for me please" he breathes out, sweat dripping down his body as he tries to coax another orgasm out of you.

he had been feeling in a bit of a mood tonight, and when you came into his office with those shorts of yours on he couldn't think about anything other than breeding you.

so here we are, laid out on his desk, and him hovering over you. your legs ache from trembling so hard, and every orgasm makes you practically blind from how long he'd been going at it. his cum leaks out of your hole, he'd been dumping load after load in you, and now he's shaking too.

he's gotta fill you up though, he'd love nothing more than you carrying his love. he feels that pit is his stomach tighten, and he gently rubs your clit. "gonna be such a good mommy," he'd coo, feeling you turn to putty in his arms.

when the time comes and he crashes over his orgasm, spilling deep in you once more, he's careful to stay locked in for a little while, but he's peppering your face with kisses.

"you did such a good job ducky" he murmurs, rubbing soft circles on your hips. until he'd pull back just a little to watch his cum leak out of you again, utterly spent.

when he finally completely pulls out its not long until his fingers make their way in you, "shh baby i know, but i gotta make sure it takes" he'd whisper to you as you squirm away from him.

he tsks a little shortly after, his fingers slowly withdrawing. he plunges thumb into your mouth, "suck" he says firmly, which you do, of course. cleaning off his fingers so good for him.

he pulls his hand back, it returns to your side, and you whine as you feel his fat tip press against your hole again, and he coos down at you, folding your legs up to your knees. "cmon missy, we can go one more time right? you can go again sweetheart" he says as he eases his cock into you again.

safe to say, he's dumping loads of his cum in you until he's shooting blanks.

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER FOUR

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @patscorner @makethemhoesmad @wbbgetsmewetter @authentic-girl03 @ohbueckers

kalena speakss 🪽! i had no clue what to write for this chapter but i scrapped something together and here it is! pls know this was supposed to be out like two hours ago but most of it got deleted and i had to rewrite it, so ignore any typos for the moment, ill fix em eventually 😭

May 2025 — Los Angeles, California

My leg bounces anxiously in the passenger seat of Julian’s car. The vehicle is silent, oddly enough, a complete 180 turn from the atmosphere of the last few days.

Things were really good. Julian and I were getting along better than ever, date nights and sleepovers. Up until we were arguing again. About schedules, staying out late, and of course the biggest disagreement in our relationship; the public.

We stayed up through all the hours of the night last night yelling at each other because I didn’t post about our date on my story; which I thought was childish but Julian evidently thought it was very serious.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe it was a big deal. Even when I thought about it from his perspective, I would probably be upset too. But the issue was we’ve talked about this before, countless times.

I sat looking out the window, an air-pod in my right ear that softly played music to keep my head clear. Briefly interrupted by my text tone going off.

Marayeeeee

Paige. Obviously. She’s been the most consistent number in my phone since the dinner party a while back.

don’t ask me for more banana pudding please

You trippin 😭😭

Wanted to see if you were busy, I miss you

“Who’s that?” Julian asks me.

“Just Paige.” I responded, my eyes only briefly looking up from my phone to look at him. It didn’t take a genius to notice how his demeanor changed. The slight roll of his eyes, and the shift in his seat.

“You guys have been talking a lot lately, no?”

He would be right. Aside from the texting throughout all hours of the day, we’ve gone out for lunch a few times over the last couple weeks. She was good company, and very easy to get comfortable around.

“Yeah, something like that.”

i’m actually heading to the airport rn…

Oh

Where to?

dallas! i have a few shows in texas and atl

but i’ll be back next weekend since you miss me so bad ;)

She doesn’t respond right away and I take that as the opportunity to shut my phone off and stick it into my pocket.

Julian lets out a long sigh as his hand runs over his face. “You know we still have to talk about last night, right?”

“What is there to talk about if we’re just gonna keep disagreeing?” I ask softly, trying to avoid raising my voice and starting yet another argument.

“You want me to stop bringing it up? Fine. But don’t get mad when I don’t put up with it anymore.”

The LAX drop off comes into my view and I turn my head to avoid looking at him once more. I don’t miss the lump that sits in my throat, or the tears that sting my eyes. I’ve never considered myself emotional, normally just keeping how I felt to myself or writing it in music, but that one stung.

“Okay Ju.” I shake my head, unbuckling my seatbelt when the car comes to a stop. “That’s fine.” I comment before stepping out of the car. Even after all that, he still hops out to help me get my bags, and I know he’s upset with me and I’m just as upset with him but the way he hugs me and kisses my forehead nearly makes me forget about it.

Nearly.

Because even then, I’m thinking about how his arms don’t feel like they used to. And after a few seconds the kiss that is lingering on my forehead just feels like slobber that I can’t wait to wipe off.

—

May 2025 — Las Vegas, Nevada

I sit comfortably on my hotel bed, a game playing as background noise in front of me and film on my iPad. We play the Aces tomorrow on prime time television and though I should probably be getting some rest, there’s only one person that could possibly be keeping me up at midnight before game day.

Maraye. Obviously.

I can see every bit of her from the phone screen. She’s laying on her bed quite literally giving me a show of her entire upper body. She has on a gray tank top, and I have to remind myself to look up at her face rather than the way her tits sit in that top.

“Paige?”

“Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”

“I said shouldn’t you be watching film instead of me?” She joked. I turned my head before she could get a look of the flush of my face.

“Yes, actually, but you wanted to talk about um, what’s his name again?”

“Julian?”

“Yeah him, and I’m trying to be a good friend.” I shrugged. “What was the issue again?”

Maraye sulks on the other line, shaking her head before speaking. “It’s like we always argue about the same shit. I don’t have the energy to put up with it anymore.”

I’m probably the world’s biggest asshole for giving her relationship advice while wanting her in my bed right now, but oddly enough there isn’t a bone in my body that cares.

“Don’t y’think you should tell him that? That it’s tiring or something?” I suggest. My head leans to the side to get a better look at her and it’s so hard to stay focused on the topic at hand when she’s looking the way she does right now.

Maraye’s skin is glass. I swear if I were to look hard enough I would see my reflection in it. There’s a few freckles that sit on her skin that I can’t just barely see in the light. She has on her reading glasses, wide round frames that complement her brown skin and brown eyes beautifully.

“I tried! But then it makes me look like the bad guy, and I don’t wanna seem like an asshole.”

“How would you be the bad guy for saying how you feel? It’s not that hard, I mean you’re doing it with me right now.”

She laughs at this. “That’s not the same.”

“Yeah? How?”

There’s a silence on the other end, and I notice the way she breaks eye contact with me. Her head turning away from the phone screen and instead looking up somewhere else in the room.

She’s right, it’s not the same. I’m not the one she goes home too, or will introduce to her family, no matter how often I daydream that I am. Nevertheless, still I convince myself that it is.

“We’ve been friends as long as you guys been together, and you can tell me everything, right? Why not him?” I ask. My eyes trail away from the phone screen and over to my iPad to make the silence a bit more comfortable.

“You’re just easier to talk to, Paige. I don’t know.” Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence. “I’m just being dramatic, it’s fine.”

Now in the last two-ish weeks that I’ve been blessed with the pleasure to call Maraye my friend, I’ve picked up on quite a few habits of hers. One of which, being her ability to toss her feelings to the side as if they don’t matter. There’s probably nothing I hate more than that.

“No you’re not.” I sigh, looking back at her. “I’m sorry, but if he’s gonna be mad about how you react to how he’s made you feel instead of fixing it, then he ain’t the one for you, angel. You should find someone who is.”

—

June 2025 — Atlanta, Georgia

Paige’s words have hung over my head like a cloud over the last week.

I’ve made a great handful of friends since leaving Atlanta for LA, all of which I’d like to think have made huge impacts in my life, but none of which even compare to my friendship with Paige.

She’s amazing. Not a flaw in her Godsend personality. And not just in the building-a-grocery-store-in-her-hometown kinda way, but in literally every way imaginable. I laugh harder around her, she gives me amazing advice, and we just clicked almost instantly. It was so, different?

That’s probably the best word, different.

At first I thought it was admiration. I was a fan of hers and as such I felt a certain way about being friends with her. It felt good.

In reality, my idea couldn’t possibly be more far fetched.

I’ve never once questioned my sexuality. For me, my “normal” has just always been guys. There was never a girl friend of mine that made me feel a certain way, or a girl crush that was anything more than a brief fixation. So believe me when I say that how I feel about Paige— when she texts me, or calls to say she misses me, and especially when she calls me angel— that is far from my normal.

It all happened too fast, too much for me to process. I thought my connection with Julian was quick, I mean after a week I was all about him. But me and Paige? We clicked off of one conversation, maybe even the second she fell into my lap at the game. I have no idea how to feel about that.

So as a result, I haven’t spoken to her since that night in Dallas. It thought it would be simple, since it gave me the opportunity to focus on my shows and my career. Yet, all it has me doing is fucking missing her.

I’m seated on the couch in my dressing room backstage before my show in Atlanta. My thumb is hovering over the girl’s contact. Her contact photo stares back at me dangerously. It’s a photo of the two of us from Cameron’s dinner party, Paige’s nose is scrunched as she throws up a peace sign and I’m showing all 32 while throwing up one of my own.

I’m about to press the contact. I don’t know much but I assume she doesn’t have a game tonight, and all I want before going on stage is to hear her voice as she talks about literally anything.

I don’t care about how wrong it feels to be thinking about her in this way, or the fact that I should probably be on stage in less than 10 minutes. All I’m thinking about is Paige.

So yeah, I’m about to click on the dial button when the janky silver door knob twists open. I catch a peak at some royal blue flowers before all 6 feet and 3 inches of Julian steps through the door. My face doesn’t even try to mask its shock.

He looks handsome in his outfit. He always does. A white shirt with a black zip up hoodie along with jean shorts and a pair of Timbs. He’s gotten a haircut, I can tell from how clean his lineup is. His natural curls are pulled into cornrows down the back of his head.

It’s my first time seeing his face in a few days and in person since our awkward goodbye at LAX last week. Oh yeah, I haven’t spoken to him very much this past week either. Oddly enough, it was easier to do than with Paige.

When he steps closer, Julian hands me the flowers first before sitting next to me on the couch.

“What’re you doin’ here?” I ask incredulously. He pulls me into a hug from where we sit on the couch, cologne travels through the air and up into my nose. Dior Sauvage, I could point it out anywhere.

“I haven’t seen you in a minute.” Julian says. He leans into me and our lips connect softly, much different to the manner we’ve been treating one another with over the last couple weeks. Even then I don’t hesitate when I kiss him back. His lips feel so familiar, and they are because I haven’t felt them in quite some time. “Thought I should surprise you.” He mutters against my lips.

I pull away haphazardly, his eyes stare back into mine. Only this time it’s not as familiar, namely the fact that they aren’t big blue orbs that I swear dilate ever so slightly when they look at mine.

My feet lift me off the couch and over to the vanity. I place the flowers he gave me, roses, on the surface. “Sure did surprise me.” I joke. When I turn back around, with my hands pressed to the vanity chair behind me, Julian is manspreading slightly, the look on his face one that I call suggestive. “I have to be on stage in like… seven minutes.” I announce awkwardly with a glance to the gold watch on my wrist.

“So?”

“So, you have to get outta here and I have to finish up sound stuff.” I explain. My fingers fix the smeared lip gloss on my chin while I look down at him.

Julian stands up and approaches me, it’s times like this where I forget how tall he actually is. And the shoes on his feet give him another inch or two.

“What’s up wit’ you, babe? If you don’t want me here, I can go back to LA.” I don’t like the tone in his voice, mainly because it’s pointed as if he wants to say something to me but knows that it would upset me.

“What? No, I literally have to be on stage. You know how Kaylee gets.” I tell him. My hand reaches up for his tanned cheek and he doesn’t fight me off. I hear my phone ring in on the couch, but I can’t take it on stage with me so ignore it. It’s probably Kaylee cursing me out for being late.

Julian presses a kiss to my palm and I internally shudder. “You sure?” Just like that his tone is different. It’s the soft and deeper baritone that made me fall for him in the first place, not the aggressive accusatory voice I’ve become used to.

I nod. My mouth opens up to speak when I’m cut off by multiple bangs on the door before it swings open.

“Julian, I told you to wait until after the show. Raye we gotta go, now!” It’s Kaylee, as it always is. She reaches for my arm, which is bare due to my stylist's decision to fit me in a strapless top for tonight’s show. “You give me gray hairs, I swear.” She mumbles as she pulls me away from Julian.

In my head I’m silently thanking her for what I think was either Julian trying to have sex with me or him trying to start an argument about me not wanting to have sex with him. Either way I’m thankful.

As we leave, I hear my phone ring again from the couch. Julian reaches for it, and just before the door shuts I see him press a button and toss it back onto the couch.

It shouldn’t bother me because I have bigger priorities, namely the crowd of 10,000 people who paid money for this show. But still, it plays in the back of my mind while Kaylee scolds me and my sound manager fits the earpiece to my ear and puts the microphone in my hand.

[eimids]

Can I request a Alexia putellas x wife reader, like the reader is a billionaire but the team mistakenly thought that the reader is using Alexia for money or fame because of how the reader dress just like simple clothes and the team tell the reader to leave ale alone... Thank you.....

I changed it to girlfriend just cause it fit better with the story line.

But yeah that's the summery

Warnings: panic attack but not really anything else

You had inherited your parents company after their passing. It had something to do with politics so you weren’t really that interested. And you were only 14 at the time. So when you turned 18 you sold the company to the highest bidder.

That’s how you ended up with a shit ton of money. You had so much of it that it was overwhelming to you. You didn’t really tell anyone about your money situation, not even Alexia. When you started dating, it was the year 2022. Alexia had just ruptured her ACL and was at a bar drinking her sorrows away. Not the most romantic place to meet but for you it was perfect. After a year of dating you had finally told Alexia about your money situation. She understood what it felt like to have so much money, so she helped you with managing it. You donated some of it to different charities. Some of them you put on your savings and some of it you kept on your bank account.

You didn’t dress in designer clothing and didn’t appear to others as a rich person although you had millions. You didn’t want anyone to view you differently because of your money. Alexia loved that about you. She loved how you were down to earth type of person and didn't care about money and what others might think of you. You also hated using money. Although you knew that you had enough many to not work anymore at all, you still felt the need to buy the cheapest things available.

You didn’t really meet Alexia’s friends properly due to her ACL injury. You had met some of them quickly after matches but didn’t get to actually know any of them. They always seemed nice and they made Alexia happy so that was the most important thing.

But the thing about her teammates was that they thought that you were some kind of a gold digger. They heard how Alexia talked about buying you expensive gifts and posting you to her Instagram. They knew that Alexia had money and popularity. You could easily gain a status for yourself. They also knew that Ale could be quite naive sometimes and they wanted to protect her.

They started asking some subtle questions about you. Things like where did you work and did you know who Ale was before meeting her. The answers to those questions didn't ease their doubts. You, a coffee shop worker and a huge football fan, didn't have that big of a salary and you of course knew who Alexia was. In fact, that's why you went to talk to her that day in the bar.

"She's using her for money" Jenni Hermoso was the first to say those words out loud. She didn't like you, you were too good to be true for Alexia. Something had to be wrong with you. Was it jealousy or did she actually care about Alexia's feelings getting hurt? We'll never know.

"You can't know that. Maybe she's in love with Alexia, at least Alexia is in love with her. I mean you all have seen how she looks at her and the way she talks about her. She's head over heels for that girl" Mapi tried to reason. She didn't want to think ill of you, but Jenni was good at convincing the others.

"Well yeah that's the point. Ale is in love with her, and she's probably just in for the money. Alexia just talked how she is going to buy y/n this necklace that costs way too much. I mean I even heard y/n once ask Alexia to bye her some earrings. Clearly she just wants attention and money" Jenni tried to convince the others.

The girls kept talking about the situation for a while before Alexia showed up.

"Oh hi, I'm sorry I'm late. Y/n and I went to this fancy restaurant and time just went by" She explained why she was late to the team bonding night. "Oh look at her in this photo, she looks so cute" She showed the photo to the others.

You were sitting there with a gold necklace hanging from your neck. You were wearing a Gucci dress, which you didn't even really want but Alexia bought it to you still. Her teammates didn't know that and were just thought you made Alexia buy it for you.

"Oh that's a nice dress, bet it costs a lot" Jenni stated.

"Well yeah it was quite expensive but I love to pamper my girl. She's just always stressing about money so I want to show her that she doesn't have to" Alexia explained. When she said you were stressing about money, she meant the fact that you felt bad for having so much of it and it made you anxious. What her friends thought she meant was that you were poor.

"Oh could you drive me home? i would call y/n but her phone broke and she hasn't gotten a new yet. I'm probably going to have to buy her a new so I can reach her" Alexia joked.

"Oh yeah jump in" Jenni answered. She shared looks with the other girls to see if they had heard what Alexia said. Now Patri and Marta were convinced.

"Could I come quickly inside to have some water?" Jenni asked. And Alexia said it was fine of course.

They walked to your home which you share with Alexia. It was an apartment in a good neighborhood. You had split the costs of it but obviously Jenni didn't know that.

"Hi baby I'm home and Jenni is me, I'm just gonna head to the shower" Ale yelled to you and left the hallway to the bathroom. You came from the bedroom to greet your girlfriend and her friend.

"Hi Jenni" You smiled to the brunette. She just hummed.

"So what's your deal with Alexia, you just using her for money or what?" Jenni went straight to the point now that she had the perfect chance to ask you.

"What, no, i love her I would never use her for her money" You were quick to reply. You were shocked that she would even suggest that.

"Well you clearly don't have any money as you can't even pay for a new phone or the dresses you wear" Jenni stated. She was getting frustrated.

"No it's not that, she want's to buy those thing, I've never asked for any of them" You answered dumbstruck.

"Yeah Alexia might be naive enough to think that but I'm not. Break up with her before we'll tell her what you really want from her." Jenni just said and left.

The rest of that night you were quiet and Ale was confused of what happened. She didn't push it thought, maybe you just had a long day.

The next day you drove Alexia to prac. You were nervous to get close to the training grounds but didn't want to be weird so that Alexia wouldn't notice.

"Bye love, have a good prac" You said to her as she hopped out of the car.

You stayed for a bit to change the music and just like that there was a girl knocking on the window of your car. You lowered the window so you could talk.

"Umm is everything okay?" You asked the woman who you had identified as Marta.

"I'm guessing you didn't have a talk with Ale like Jenni suggested?" She just said casually.

"No, I'm not using her for her money" You tried to reason.

"Yeah, I guess we just have to tell her the truth" Marta said and left.

You were afraid. What if Ale would believe them There was no reasonable reason why she would but you still got scared. How did you come off as a gold digger? Why did her friends hate you so much that they came up with that?

You made your way back to home where you bursted to tears. You had always hated the idea of people seeing you differently because of money. And when you tried your hardest to avoid that, it was exactly what happened. They thought that all you wanted from your girlfriend was money. You were scared that Alexia would believe them and then she would just break up. All the worst scenarios came to your mind and soon enough you were in a full panic attack.

"Ale we need to talk" Jenni said to Ale immediately after training.

"Um okay? Is everything ok?" Alexia answered.

"Well no, we all have noticed that y/n is most likely using you just for money and you're just too naive to see that" Jenni started. Alexia grew mad immediately.

"Why would you think that? Of course she's not after the money" Alexia replied angrily.

Jenni tried to explain to Alexia why they thought that you didn't actually love Ale. They explained that it was weird that you didn't mention the conversation you had with Jenni the other night.

"You talked to her about this?! You accused her of being a gold digger? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alexia panicked. She knew that money was a sensitive topic for you.

Alexia tried to call you but you didn't answer so she just ordered herself a taxi.

"Y/n is the sweetest human being and you are here accusing her of something she didn't do!" Alexia yelled.

"You just can't see it Ale, she's using you" Marta tried.

"Fuck you, and just for your information, she has more money than I do" Alexia yelled and left the room.

She impatiently waited for the taxi. The drive home was a suffering experience. Now she realized why you had been so quiet the night before. She hated her teammates for making you think that you would be just a gold digger.

"Baby I'm here" She yelled when she got home. She was nervous when you didn't come and greet her.

She walked to the bedroom where she found you draped in your comfort blanket. So clearly trying to calm yourself down.

"Oh y/n I'm so sorry" Alexia said as she hurried to your side. She knew you loved physical touch so she made sure to give that to you to help you calm down.

"They shouldn't have said any of that, they are all wrong. I know that you love me and you know that I love you. That's all that matters. They don't know anything about you and they were being assholes with even thinking those thing about you" Alexia said. She was being sincere, you could hear it in her voice.

That helped you calm down. You loved Alexia and she loved you.

--

I lowkey hate how this turned out. The anon ask was amazing but I feel like I couln't write it properly.

[prettyoatmeal]

TF141 Taking Care of Sick Reader!

A/N: Guys I'm so sick right now. This cold has hit me like a truck at full speed. I literally slept 13 hrs today?!?!?!?!?!? So lets go guys, sick HC's because I need some comfort.

Masterlist here!

***************

Price just doesn't care because he rarely ever gets sick. Whenever you catch a cold, he's just unfazed because he knows his body well.

This man will PAMPER you. He'll cook you whatever you're craving, and if you're not hungry, you're getting force fed a few cups of broth just so there's something in you.

He'll run you a bath with the soap you love so much, making sure it's nice and steamy in the way you like it. And while your nose his clearing up from the steam, he's massaging your shoulders and the back of your neck and wherever you ask him to. Because he'll be damned if his love has to spend one more second with their body aching.

Taking medicine with him is a chore for both of you. Him because he has to deal with your stubbornness, and you because liquid medicine tastes awful and theres no getting around it. He's just there holding the spoon with the burgundy coloured syrup and you're turning away every time he gets it close to your mouth.

"Sweetheart, I know it tastes awful but it's only here to make you feel better."

Ends up bribing you with taking you out to your favourite restaurant when you're better, but lets face it, he would've taken you anyway.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

And once you've finally taken it, disregarded the disgusted look on your face, he's actively kissing you on your cheeks, your forehead, maybe your lips as well despite how much you try to pull away from them. But you give in of course. He's only looking out for you and you love him too much.

Gaz I think would be a bit of a germaphobe at first.

Illness on the battlefield? Sure, he can deal with that, who cares Sickness at home?? Nope, the antiseptic spray is coming out and getting sprayed onto every surface of your flat.

You're not getting out of bed until you're sure you're fine because he'll be damned if he catches it from you. He's making sure every second of the day that you're fed, you're hydrated, you're comfy.

If you ask him very nicely, he'll let you cuddle up to him if you promise to not sneeze on him. But when you're finally in his arms, he sees your flushed face, your bleary eyes, the way you cling onto him so tightly even though you're so weak, fading in and out of sleep and he feels himself falling in love all over again.

"Poor baby. I'll take care of you, don't worry."

It happens every single time, it's hilarious. His mind changes every single time. Even if you sneeze on him, you'll get nothing more than a slight scolding as he holds a tissue up to your nose.

Medicine is different with him. Mixes it with your hot tea knowing just how much you hate taking it. If you question why it tastes so weird, he blames it on the temperature distorting the flavour and your messed up taste buds.

And it works, you never question it again.

After that, he'll turn your favourite show on just as background noise and it isn't long until you're falling asleep on top of him.

Ghost is not letting you lift a finger. If you stand up to go get something to eat or drink before he deems you of proper health, he's sweeping you off your feet and laying you back into bed.

"I can do things by- achoo! -by myself."

"No you can't. Stay put, lovie. I'll get your plate for you."

Doesn't want to make it seem like he's babying you.. but he definitely just is.

Simon is normally really good with letting you have your independence, he never wants to make it feel like you don't have a choice. But in times like these where you need to rest, he is having absolutely none of it and there's nothing you can do other that yourself be dragged back to your room.

This man will also chase you around the flat to make sure you take the medicine because you better get through this, and on his watch, you will be.

"Open up, Princess." while you keep turning your head away. Much like John, he definitely needs to bribe you with the shoes you saw on the way home one day or that new restaurant that opened a week ago. And only then you finally take it, gagging at the chemically taste.

After that, you will constantly be swaddled in warmth no matter what. Whether it be him since he's pretty much a radiator himself, a hot bath, or a million blankets and plushies. He just wants you as comfortable as possible for your weakened state.

For baths, it's almost certain he will join you. He'll let you lean back on him as he massages your shoulders, your arms, your thighs and legs. And you're left so dizzy and hazy because he's soothing your aching body so well.

He probably catches it a week after you, once you're already better and then it's your turn to take care of him :3 and you know just how Simon feels about being pampered and looked after.

Soap would be sick with you but stubborn as ever to let you take care of him.

He's just way too touchy and kissy and feely when you're infected, it's awful. Makes fun of you for having a bad immune system even though his is just as bad, if not worse.

"Shut your gob, Bonnie. I won't catch it. it's just a wee cold."

He catches it and it was more than just a 'wee cold'. You're both so weak, bodies throbbing and aching all over but he's still determined to make you his priority.

Going to the bathroom is a hassle because when you go, he'll go. He can't leave his love alone, not in this state! He'll stand outside the door like a cat does, just waiting.. and waiting.. and oh! You've accidentally opened the door on him because he can barely pay attention to whatever's in front of him.

To make up for it, you help ice his forehead.

He'll cook for you, infecting the kitchen with his boy-germs. But it's great because he can just put a few cups of broth up to a simmer and drink it with you on the couch.

Once it's time to take medicine, you both chicken out because it just tastes so gross. But knowing you have to take it, you made a deal to take it at the same time. You're both disgusted but clink your mugs together and use your tea as chasers.

Cheers!

Will sneeze on you more than once by accident. He's gross but we love him.

He definitely tries (keyword is tries) to stay awake long enough for you to make sure you're peacefully sleeping through your sick, but he definitely gets knocked out the moment he cuddles up against you.

***************

GRAHHHHH I'm so sick I'm going to bed. Cheers guys, goodnight

*************** DISCLAIMER Under no circumstances do I give permission to copy, repost, or manipulate my work in any way. I am not comfortable with this. If you wish to translate my work, message me privately. My inbox is always open.

[claudiafrankie]

Pick a Card: Let me Describe You/What You're Going Through

DISCLAIMER: TAROT IS NOT AN EVIDENCE-BASED PRACTICE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

Pile 1: The Birds

This pile feels strongly ancestral. I don't know if you connect with your ancestors but they sure as shit want to connect with you lol. I think something in your life is in the process of unfolding and you are doing a really good job of staying objective about it. Not meddling with the outcome, just letting what will be, be. There seems to be a lot of chatter and external opinions flying around you, and your ancestors are like "for the birds" lmao.

For awhile now you have been in a stage of agitation, like when the piece of sand gets caught in an oyster and is transformed into a pearl. I think there's people around you that can sense that this is going on within you, but they might not have the tools to articulate this or approach you in a loving/sincere way about it, with the concern for your well-being/desire to help at the forefront of their intentions.

You could be isolating a lot because you feel this energy. You have become masterful at creating a haze/fog around yourself to conceal and protect yourself. It's like your in the kitchen cooking for company and your guests are breathing down your neck like "When's it going to be ready?? What are you making in there??? Can I see can I see can I see????" Lol I don't think these people have ill intentions they just don't know how to support you right now. I think you might have to take a more direct approach if you want them to lay off, though. I don't see them easing up/giving you your space, so if you want/need that it might be time to say that up front. You are pretty good at evading prying eyes, but you may have to play mama bear for yourself if you need more space than what you're getting.

I think you've been getting a lot of downloads and messages about your path and your healing process. You need to know that to integrate these messages you have to find better ways to rest. Not just literally like sleeping or napping, but things you can do to relax your mind and especially your body. You're kind of in a gestation process. Dealing with that on top of the stress of everyday living (and these birds who can't seem to mind their own business lol) calls for a more serious prioritization of slowing down.

I feel like I need to tell you that meditation doesn't have to be sitting still and breathing. Beach-combing can be meditative, coloring in a coloring book can be meditative, baking brownies can be meditative. I think it would really help you to pick an activity that is simple and slow and just really do it. Feel the pebbles/sand crunch/squeak under your feet, feel the coarse calcium shells, smell the crayons and watch their colors flood a blank page, listen to the egg shells crack on the counter.

I get that you might be dealing with some feelings of fear and/or dread. You aren't really sure what you're transforming into, and what will be left standing in your life once the process is complete. You're not a bad person for changing and leaving things or people behind. I think you are the type to cling to guilt over past relationships and really beat yourself up over mistakes. You are allowed to make mistakes. Once you start giving yourself that grace I think this gestation period will be a lot more bearable. It will still be uncomfortable, but you'll have a greater level of tolerance for discomfort and a stronger skill set for accommodating yourself.

I think you might be called to help guide others who are going through a similar process as well. I think this is not the first time you have moved through a period like this. You have the ability to notice when someone is struggling with changes in their own life and psyche, and the wisdom to be a source of comfort and guidance for them. I think you have encountered unsolicited advice and know how unhelpful and frustrating it can be to be on the receiving end of that, you know how to hold space for people in uncomfortable transition periods and not assert your own opinions/perspectives onto them of what they "should" be doing or what you think would be "good" for them. More than anything you understand how invaluable it is to have someone witness what you're going through and reflect it back to you without judgement. To really see you, and be with you.

Take care pile 1.

Pile 2: The Tower

Woah. This pile feels old old. There is a profoundly detached energy coming through for you guys, very cerebral and heady. It's not cold, but there is a sort of ruthless... neutrality. You see everyone as being on the same level, playing on the same field, fighting for the same things. Just maybe with some different outfits or weapons. This perspective informs your behavior heavily, and I feel like this might be misread by those around you as a disregard for authority, a sense of entitlement, of superiority. When in actuality, you're simply carrying yourself as exactly what you are: a sovereign being with power over your own life. You know that no one gets to tell you who you are, ever.

This kind of self-image and worldview, to many, is radical. Your presence forces people to confront themselves. They see you move through obstacles, pick yourself up, let things bounce right off you, and keep trying. They see your unwavering sense of self, a steady fire burning in a hearth. They are confronted with the reality that they have not cultivated this in themselves, or at least have not attained the level of mastery they perceive in you.

This can go two ways: some look to you as a source of inspiration. Some as competition. This pile is used to people competing with them for no good reason. You may have had people pretend to be friends with you, get close to you, try and siphon off of the glow and warmth of your inner world. You see the pain in people and you easily forgive, you are understanding of the myriad of reasons why people struggle to accept themselves. But you have also learned that, at the end of the day, we either decide to do something about this pain or we don't. And you can't make anyone do anything. There's that radical neutrality. You have faith that everyone is where they are meant to be, and will end up where they are meant to go.

Two of the tarot cards I pulled for you guys were Justice and the Ace of Swords. You guys are both a channel for the truth and the truth itself. The smallest things you do signal to others how you see the world, how you understand your place in it. I forget where I heard this, but there is an idea of "how you do one thing is how you do everything." That's you guys. Your beliefs permeate into everything you do.

I think for a lot of you, your karma could be playing out in the workplace. I think you are supposed to model for people what it means to really do the work, literally and figuratively. You are meticulous and shrewd. I might even say brilliant. You have a sharp mind and the drive to back it up. I get the sense that if you wanted to you could really fuck with people, but you don't. And I think this is for two reasons: I think you have a genuine appreciation and love for people and humanity, and I think you also have a deep understanding of the laws of karma. You understand the seriousness and precariousness of it all. You do not hold this lightly.

Maybe things feel stagnant at work, like they aren't moving, like your efforts go unnoticed or worse, are disregarded. Keep going. Keep trying. Not for anyone but yourself. Because you owe it to yourself to cultivate something that is all yours. Brick by brick, I think you have the potential to build yourself into a seriously successful person. But I don't think you'll be one of those people who has windfalls of luck - unexpected promotions or raises. And if these things do come to you, I see that these speedy promotions will be ultimately reversed. You are here to show people what it means to do it yourself, do it right. And doing it right takes time. But I don't think you need me to tell you that. ;)

Take it easy pile 2.

Pile 3: The Heart

You guys are tired and fed the fuck up is who you are lmao. I think the amount of pressure and frustration you have been encountering in your relationships has been building and building and building. As I'm writing this the time is 5:55, and two of your tarot cards are the five of pentacles and the five of swords. Things are changing for you guys, and it probably feels like, "Finally."

I think you're moving through a period where you have felt powerless when it comes to your relationships. There is a lot of build up of resentment for the people around you. I think you have been trying to stay optimistic, and maybe pushing down the part of you that's like "actually no......... we're not going to be treated like that"

I think there is or was a group of people that made you feel excluded. Your mistakes were magnified and your wins were ignored. You have been made to feel like it's your fault that they don't accept you, framing the dynamics as though you are the one who has to earn their approval. There is a really fucked up weaponizing of abandonment/belonging here. Like the behavior of these people is underhanded and covert, nothing really big happens that you can point to and say "That's what I'm talking about!!! Y'all are giant assholes!" It's all under the surface but it is detectable in so many of your interactions. They have been trying to get you to crack, to contort yourself to meet their expectations, to sacrifice your autonomy and self respect to fit in, just like they have.

I think there is some danger here on your part of swinging to an extreme. With the level of anger and frustration depicted in your cards, I wouldn't be surprised if you are fighting back tooth and nail your impulse to smack a bitch. I would like to tell you that, while honestly this would likely be a valid response in your situation, please do not engage in these types of behavior. Once to retaliate or respond to how you are being treated, it will be twisted. Even though you are the one who has been poked, prodded, and laughed at, if you respond to this - you will be made out to be the bad guy. And I know that that is crazy-making, but it's unfortunately how the world works. Don't give them the satisfaction. Take all that pent up energy and channel it into something for you, don't waste it on these people. They don't deserve it. Let it fuel your work ethic, start a new creative project, learn a new skill, start a side hustle, whip yourself into killer shape. Start your winter arc early, if you will. Let them watch you climb to the top, and then smile at them.

I think yeah you're just in a time of realizing how much of yourself you have set aside to please other people, and how detrimental this is to you and your relationships. You might have been feeling socially "stuck" for a long time. Past hurts have calcified and become like part of your skeletal structure. You've been in so much pain. I'm not sure if you've been keeping what you've been going through to yourself but if you have, it seems like some kind of outlet would be good. Even if you don't have anyone in your life that you feel safe opening up to, or if you can't afford therapy, use your body, journal, scream in a pillow, rage cry, dance it out to bad bitch anthems. This is like heavy and sharp and hot energy and it's just sitting in your solar plexus. You could be lashing out at people who don't deserve it and pushing away potential friends because there's just so much of this pain that you are struggling to express it and move through it. This is human and normal and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!

Best of luck pile 3

[mrmorganswoman]

no grave can hold my body down, ill crawl home to her

summary:

arthur morgan knew he was the type of man that shouldn’t risk falling in love, but jesus she just made it so hard NOT to

a/n: first fic!! inspired by work song by hozier lol. hope y’all enjoy it Xx 💗

‘Arthur Morgan, you fool’ He thought to himself, mentally swearing for catching himself staring at their camps newest member yet again. But he just couldn’t help it. He knew he shouldn’t indulge in this. It was stupid really, any attempt at love in the past had failed him. All because of this life he chose to live. One that wasn’t easy to leave behind. Though Arthur knew, if you asked him to he’d throw it all away. God this man would do anything for you, he practically worshiped the ground you walked on. He didn’t know why he was so captivated by you, maybe it was your honey sweet voice, or the kindness you showed him right from your first day of knowing him. He couldn’t stop himself from loving every little thing about you, to him you were perfect. A goddamned goddess. He thought you deserved someone better than him. A woman such as yourself deserved to live a good life, one where the law isn’t out to get you. One where people could be out to hurt you because of your husband’s line of work. You deserved to feel safe and secure in your life. Nothing like the chaos you were living through now.

Little did Arthur know, you were feeling the exact same way about him. You had deep feelings for Arthur Morgan, you were as sweet like sugar on that man. You loved everything about him, but most of all how he treated you. He made 100% sure you felt safe and were taken care of all the time. You were one of the first people he’d check up on when returning from a job. Or you mentioned something you needed and the next day he would just so happen to need to run to town and what do you know, the exact scarf, seasoning, hair ribbon, you name it would be included in his haul. And if he was around at meal times, he would not so subtly make sure you got your portion. All of this and yet, he rarely said a word to you. It confused you to no end, it felt like he cared about you deeply but he rarely paid any attention to you. You were a lost soul before you started riding with the Van Der Lindes, and because of the Blackwater situation it was hard for the gang to let in a new mouth to feed. But ever since the beginning Arthur made you feel so welcomed. You don’t know what you did do deserve his kindness but it was deeply appreciated. Mary-Beth was CONVINCED Arthur was sweet on you, so we’re Tilly, Molly, Abigail, Karen, goodness even Susan Grimahaw herself made a comment about it you once. You wanted to believe it so badly, but he didn’t talk to you!! He could just be a kind man of little words and you’re reading into the situation all wrong.

‘Oh well…’ You thought with a sigh, flicking your eyes up from the needle work you had long been neglecting because of your thinking. To your surprise, you found a pair of beautiful blue eyes already looking in your direction…

~~~~~~~

“Shit!” Arthur swore under his breath, god dammit you were still as a staute for ages before this why’d you have to look up now?? Arthur begrudgingly tore my eyes away from t and started walking to his horse- where he was supposed to be already. Hosea wanted to take him into town for some reason he had yet to say.

“Arthur!” Hosea said warmly. He then raised an eyebrow. “I hope you didn’t have any trouble getting here?”

‘Oh I this is NOT goin’ there.’ Arthur thought.

“Course not.” He said flatly. Hosea smiled a knowing smile, before long they mounted thier horses and were off.

The ride to Valentine was thankfully silent and quick. But Arthur knew that was going to change as soon as Hosea informed him that he was taking Arthur to the saloon to “Chat over a drink” With such a grin on his face that Arthur knew he was nothing short of doomed.

After getting situated at the bar with a neat whiskey and a beer, Hosea start talking to Arthur, though it felt more like he was speaking AT at him. Making little remarks about love and what it does for people. Sharing little stories of “the joys of marriage.” …..very sneaky, Hosea.

“Hosea…. Please get to whatever point it is yer tryin’ to make here.” Arthur said, cutting into his rambling.

“Arthur….” He cooed, sounding like he was talking to some schoolyard boy. “I’ve been watching you pine over (Name) for MONTHS.”

Arthur said nothing. Nothing but a silent prayer that his cheeks weren’t burning a fiery shade of red.

“I know you’re sweet on her, it’s as obvious as a wolf standing in a pack of sheep!”

Arthur ran a hand over my face and let out a tired sigh. Hosea sipped his beer, waiting for him to respond.

“What ‘m I supposed’t say?” Arthur grumbled, crossing his arms over my chest. ‘God, what a pathetic fool I am.’ Arthur thought. “Not like she’d want an ugly bastard like me ‘nyway.”

“On the contrary! Hosea chuckles. “I was walking by the women’s tent last nigh- couldn’t sleep. Wanted to walk a bit to clear my head- and my boy you should’ve heard the things (Name) was saying about you!”

At that, Arthur sat up a little straighter. “What things…?” He asked, slightly wearily. Hosea smiled.

“Son, she’s fallen for you head first! If only you’d start speaking more then 2 words a week to her! You do so much for that girl Arthur, would it be so hard to do that too?”

He didn’t say anything. Learning that, by some fucking MIRACLE- the woman of his dreams has fallen for him was making his head spin. Could this really be happening?? Could this work?? A stab of pain shot through him as he remembered Mary, and how things ended with her. But this could be different, after all you were with the gang. You didn’t care about his life, you loved him despite it all…Arthur hadn’t dared let himself think that a love with you could possibly work out. The thought made him giddy. He felt dumb as rocks, feeling so strongly for you without ever saying a damn word to you. But he couldn’t let himself get to know you- he couldn’t bare to hear your silky voice say his name more then you already do. With such kindness, such love.He wanted to talk to you, to love you, to cherish you and worship you like you deserved to be, but-

“Hosea, I’m afraid.” Arthur said quietly. “Look at ‘er, I can’t drag this woman down the path I’m on. She doesn’t deserve a man like me.”

Hosea pushed Arthur’s untouched whiskey towards him, Arthur took the glass and downed it all in one go. He listened to Hosea’a next words at the fiery liquid settled in his stomach.

“Are you going to risk making that decision for her?”

~~~~~~~

You sat on the cold ground in front of the dying out campfire, grateful that everyone had fallen into their cots for the night. You loved the solitude of nighttime. It was so nice to be by yourself, enjoying the quiet peace of the stars above you.

Before long, your thoughts (as they always did) turned to Arthur Morgan. Hosea has returned to camp hours ago, telling you that Arthur should be back shortly. It’s been hours and still no sign of him. You knew it was normal, but you couldn’t help but worry while he was out of camp. Which was stupid really, you weren’t his girl. Just because he was kind didn’t mean you had to get your knickers all on a twist over him.

‘Damn your mysterious-ness Arthur Morgan….’

You only know you dozed off when the familiar sound of a horse whining woke you up. And then an even more familiar voice soothing the distressed animal.

“Easy girl…. Y’know I can’t spend all my time with ya’ don’t you?”

You stretched your arms out and listened to the sweet interaction. Despite him being the gang’s toughest enforcer, a wanted dead or alive outlaw, Arthur truly was a sweetheart. He treated all the women of the camp with the utmost respect and was such a help to any soul in need of. If only he knew how badly you needed him.

You from your spot on the ground, drawing the outlaws attention. He approached with a small smile.

“Glad it was jus’ you..” Arthur said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. You on the other hand were absolutely over the MOON at the fact that Arthur had finally decided to talk to you.

“Oh I hope you’re not too disappointed Mr. Morgan!” You said with a light chuckle. Arthur, not sensing your sarcasm through his nerves, panicked.

“N-no! Not at all, ma’am! I apologize if I came off that way-”

“I’m just teasing ya’ Arthur. It’s quite alright.” You said and smiled. A smile so sweet and bright Arthur could’ve melted on the spot. Your sweet smile, the way his name rolled off your lips. Arthur wasn’t a religious man, but he might as well have been in heaven.

“(Name)….” Arthur said, his sweet southern drawl when he said your name making you blush. “I’d like to apologize. For how I’ve been treatin’ you.”

“Oh Arthur! You’ve been nothin’ but kind to me since I’ve been here- whatever are you sorry for?” You asked him, genuinely shocked at the man’s statement. Were you talking to the same Arthur who took care of your horse for you, bought you ribbons to put in your hair, and watched over you like a protective hawk? Sure he didn’t speak to you much, but you knew he was a man of few words. Even if it hurt sometimes, could live with it. You didn’t need him to love you back for you to love him all the same. You’d almost accepted it. Almost.

Arthur sighed a deep and nervous sigh, his thoughts blurring and the several whiskeys he had in him were NOT helping. Not a bit.

“You see- well it’s, it’s just-” Arthur stammered- god he was making a complete FOOL of himself!

You stepped closer to Arthur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. You looked up at him nervously. The two of you had never been close as this. Arthur looked down at you, you had concern laced in your eyes. Concern for him. Your long hair was falling out of its messy braid, the loose strands framing your face beautifully. He could see the nights starts reflected in your eyes.

‘How beautiful..’ Arthur thought. He was completely captivated by you. ‘How could a woman like this be allowed to roam the same earth as someone like me..?’

Without even realizing what he was doing, Arthur pulled you flush against his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other reaching up to cup your chin. His touch was feather light as he stroked his thumb over your face.

“I ain’t never felt like this before Miss…” Arthur mumbled, leaning his forehead down to touch your. He didn’t have time to wonder (or thank) whatever divine force gave him to courage to do this. “You got me makin’ a fool outta myself…”

You let out a soft gasp at the a sudden touch from Arthur. You had only ever been like this in your sweetest dreams, was this really happening??

“Arthur…?” You whispered, questioning him. “Wha…What ‘re you d-”

That’s it. He couldn’t take it anymore. To hell with the risks, the past to hell with it all! He had come to love you more than life itself. You were exactly what he needed in his painful and cruel life.

You were such a loving soul, treating everyone and everything around you so kindly it was heartwarming. You give and give and GIVE to everyone around you. You never judged anyone around you for their actions- past or present. You picked up chores from the other women when they needed a break. You sung little Jack to sleep when Abigail was too exhausted to lift her head from her cot. You put braided flowers into your beautiful long hair whenever you had a moment to yourself. You smiled at him every morning when you left your tent to begin your day. You always kept the pink silk scarf he picked up for you and left in your tent with a note in the pocket of your skirt. You picked at nails and hummed when you were nervous. You loved staying up late, gazing at the stars and admiring the universe. He had pages upon pages of you doing exactly that sketched in his journal.

You were heaven sent. You were perfect. The world didn’t fucking deserve you.

Arthur slammed his lips down onto yours without wasting another moment. And he shuddered at the feelings of your lips finally being against his own. You kissed him back just has hard, standing on your tip toes to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. You felt his tongue slide against his bottom lip, and wasted not a moment opening your mouth to let him in.

Months of longing, tension, were fought out as your tongues pushed against each other. Of course Arthur won, you could barely contain the moan that was building in the back of your throat when you felt his tongue exploring your mouth like a starving man. If he hadn’t been holding you so tightly, you would’ve fallen over. The sheer want and desperation of the kiss made your knees go completely weak.

Unfortunately, you both needed air and had to pull away. Arthur rested his forehead against your own. The both of you stood there, panting with closed eyes. Neither wanting the moment to end.

When you eventually opened your eyes, you looked up at Arthur. And couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across your face. Arthur wrapped both of his strong arms around your waist, and he smiled sweetly back at you. You both stood there for a moment, swaying gently back and forth as you embraced each other. The silence that fell between you both was comfortable and welcome as you gazed into each others eyes, both sharing the same look of love and adoration.

Arthur was the one who finally broke the silence between the two of you, and you will never forget his next words.

“Please darlin’” He whispered. “I’m beggin’ you… I want you to be my girl. I’m sorry I was a fool for such a long time-”

You leaned up on your tip toes and silenced him with a gentle kiss.

“I wouldn’t have you any other way, Mr. Morgan.”

[neyafromfrance95]

i loved galadriel's arc in s2, but not as much as in s1 and there are many different ways in which it could have been better.

i loved that she was shown to struggle with the denial of her taboo feelings for halbrand and with reconciling them with her hatred of sauron, now motivated even more to personally slay him. i loved how she was annoyed for not being in the leadership position instead of elrond, showcasing her ambition for power, leadership and personal persecution of sauron. i loved the battle, how she was the one to start fighting and did not stop fighting even tho sauron almost begged her to.

i agree with everyone that the dialogue was weak. however, i don't think it's really about the dialogue. i never believed galadriel would give in to evil!sauron (her willpower, pride and fear wouldn't allow it), but the temptation for power and the recognition of connection are there, so i wanted to see this crisis and angst displayed more intensely. i can forgive it, as it can be explained by galadriel setting her mind and spirit on blocking her personal emotions off and switching to the kill mode. but only if we see that personal, intimate struggle moving forward.

if she really overcame her interpersonal conflict with sauron and the darkness... it would simply be so out of character and inconsistent, that the only explanation would be that sauron really stole her soul and replaced her with a watered down galadriel who would give a lesser headache to elrond and gil-galad, lol.

first of all, there was no temptation in that battle, really. sauron didn't propose to her for the second time, he was set on breaking her down till she gave in to him (again, nenya=galadriel). yeah, he told her that the door was still open but he sought submission from her this time around (s1 finale was darkly romantic, s2 finale was darkly romantic too but even more so darkly erotic, if u know what i mean).

it doesn't make sense for galadriel to be devoted to and obsessed with slaying sauron for centuries only to get over it after battling him only once. it doesn't make sense for her interpersonal conflict to be resolved after the interaction where she emotionally closed herself off after the whole season of displaying the scandalous levels of mental illness and loser behavior over that man, lol.

i think what the majority of haladriels are discontent with, is this impersonal attitude galadriel had throughout the battle (save for a very impactful and significant reaction she had to halbrand, and other microexpressions). and i agree, i want her to scream at sauron for killing her brother, for betraying her, for deceiving her ("it was just an illusion" counts tho), not about the free peoples of the middle-earth.

but here is the thing. the reason why i feel uneasy about galadriel's attitude here, it that i'm anxious about the possibility that they won't get to come face to face in the future to have this sort personal of clash (fingers crossed 🤞 that the mind-palace is re-introduced in s3). but i do believe that it makes sense for galadriel to be closed off as a defense mechanism when she first saw sauron. he was changed, so she felt detached from this new form she wasn't adjusted to. it would make sense for her to "explode" emotionally only as the culmination of a slow realization that halbrand *is* sauron.

and as for the darkness, it would feel weird for her to be "healed" from her own darkness by the two men who kept lowkey "slutshaming" her.

now, there is a hope that they are going to *subvert* the viewer expectations and she is going to experience the effects of finally having touched the darkness, learning how to find the light even though there is the darkness in her. that would make for a far more interesting character journey than her not having to make decisions and mistakes bc she is an one-dimensional good girl.

as for the things i would have loved to have seen in s2:

galadriel being alienated and bullied as a child and only having finrod who understood her was hinted at in the beginning, but it would have been great if we had some more flashbacks expanding on this in s2. it would help the audiences to really sympathize with galadriel's obsession with revenge more.

and it would have been so cool to see the flashbacks into her quests and crusades, her knight adventures, how she actually started to *enjoy* fighting and power while the darkness crept into her heart, to the point it became part of her, to the point sauron became an intrinsic part of her identity. after all, she was so obsessed with the idea of slaying him that she turned her back on heaven, her home and risked literally everything for him.

and i mostly talk about galadriel/haladriel in this blog, but i have to say, im disappointed with the overall treatment of the female characters in this season. my third favorite character after gal/sau is miriel and i feel like she was sidelined in numenor plotline too. going into the sea was epic and showcased how worthy and dignified she is, and i absolutely adore her chivalric romance with elendil, but it still felt like they could have done much more with her, or at least given her a pov.

idk, i hope s3 improves these flaws of s2 and doesn't cater to the incels, but their loudness is worrisome.

[val-suvius]

"RIGHTY-OO, my Dear!!" Caine beamed contently as he headed for the door, "Just holler if you need anything!"

This was about 20 minutes ago. He had teleported a significantly ill Pomni back into bed, thankfully declaring that the puzzling results of her scan, not to mention her painful ordeal leading up to this development, left her in NO condition for Adventures... for the next 2-3 days, at least. A surprising change from his usual hyperactive demeanor, it was nonetheless very welcome!

Head still spinning, Pomni lightly fingered the damp washcloth just above her eyes as she truly regarded the silence of her dimly-lit room. The only sounds were her clock, & the constant grumbling that accompanied her dull stomach pain, despite the nausea having long since subsided. She didn't pay much mind to it, even as she stared right down at her abdomen; she found it more annoying than anything to really worry about. If anything, she dismissed it as her systems making room for her ACTUAL cause for worry, the "development" in question!

"Hey... Pomni?"

Thinking the knock on her door was, once again, her stomach, it wasn't until she heard her own name that she answered quietly. "R-Ragatha?"

"Hi... we heard you weren't feeling the best, & we wanted to see how you were holding up."

"I'm a little better... wait, 'We'??"

"Oh, yeah... Kinger & Gangle are here, too" Ragatha paused. "We can come back later if you--"

"NO!" Pomni suddenly piped up, almost desperately. "Please... come in!" She didn't know exactly what she wanted, but right now, all things considered, it was NOT to be alone!

Pomni slowly moved up to a sitting position as the door creaked open, everyone quietly taking their places at her bedside, when Gangle gasped loudly, clapping a ribbon hand over her mouth!

"W-WHAT! What is it!!" Pomni started looking around frantically, Ragatha grasping her hand in a knee-jerk attempt to calm her down. She held her breath upon seeing the problem herself.

With that, she smiled awkwardly as she discreetly started digging through the cabinet, huffing with relief when she found what she was looking for! She hesitated before slowly holding the hand-mirror in front of Pomni.

Without breaking her gaze, she took the mirror for a better look at the thick, black scar that covered almost the ENTIRE right side of her face!

She sat, frozen for a good minute, prompting Ragatha to place a hand on her shoulder, only to recoil when the mirror suddenly shot clear across the room!

"GREAT!" Pomni grunted, her eyes swelling with deranged tears, "Just. The. #@##@## CHERRY ON TOP I NEEDED!!!!" Everyone backed away as she curled up into a ball, afraid she would Abstract right then & there.

They all watched in dead silence as she shook in violent sobs, until Kinger apprehensively reached out to her. Pomni wanted to slap his hand away, but, in her already weakened state, that one outburst took more than enough out of her. All she could do was struggle to catch her breath as Kinger began to pet her; gradually leaning in to his touch, it wasn't long before she loosened up enough to simply clutching his robe as he continued rubbing her back, her sobbing reduced to simple sniffles & hiccups. Ragatha & Gangle eventually reclaimed their original places by her bedside.

GrrrRAAAAWWWRRRRRRggllle!!!!

Everyone was jostled out of their thoughts while Pomni's head hung in embarrassment & pain, pressing a firm hand to her belly. Feeling everyone's mounting concern, she heaved an anxious sigh...

"Something's... inside me." She began before she even knew how to word it, "I have no memory of how it got there... just that it's definitely related... to THIS!" She indicated her scar. Kinger's eyes widened suddenly, "C-Could this have happened this morning, when you--?" He paused, trying to recall when Caine whisked her away after she started violently throwing up, "Wait, no... you didn't have your scar then.." Did she?

They all stared at him, urging him to press on. "I-I don't know if it was just your puke getting all over the place, but you started turning jet black, with glowing slits... scattering..... all....... over.."

He looked down at her with a pained expression.... & then hugged her all the tighter! The full realization hit them all like a ton of bricks!!!

"Are you saying--" Ragatha began, "--you saw her ABSTRACTING??!" Pomni was in shock, unable to comprehend what she was hearing right now.

"So THAT'S what it feels like..." She couldn't come up with anything else to say! She could only look back at the last thing she saw in her otherwise blinding AGONY, before everything went dark...

Caine's face... OF COURSE!!

No DOUBT he caused all this! He does, after all, run this entire CRAP HOLE, complete with deciding which sentient NPCs live or die, so to HELL with what they all say about him having NO control over the players!!! She was all ready to put all the blame on him, if not for one. Little. DETAIL...

NEVER, in all her time here, had she seen him so SCARED!!

Not only that...

"This... ball of light" Pomni began after 5-ish minutes of awkward silence, "It was in Caine's hand as I--" she couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. "Next thing I knew... I was back to normal..." Now waking up in Caine's strong, warm arms she'd NEVER forget, "but.. sick, so he took me to this secret lab, where he put me in this scanning chamber, & found... something similar!"

"What do you mean?" asked Gangle.

"A similar ball of light" Pomni clarified, recalling how it looked on the projection, "Not the SAME ball..." She clutched both hands to her lower abdomen, her voice down to barely a whisper. "This one... is alive!"

Gangle & Ragatha just looked at each other, knowing EXACTLY what she meant, but neither wanting to alarm her any further by telling her outright...

-----

Yeah... that's all I got so far...

Credit to @r0th3freak4rtist