#but at least theyre alone together
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vi and jayce wont ever get to be siblings in law :((((((
#arcane#i have to many feelings abt who died#overall im happy with the ending it was thematically sound and emotionally satisfying#im just so sad for vi and caitlyn to once again be alone#but at least theyre alone together#i hope vi and sevika become friends postcanon vi needs more people around her
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Have we ever seen this old man being affectionate with drivers or other juniors? Or just Yuki? I don't even think I've seen him this close to Max and Seb (off the podium at least)
Brother.
#he says some senile shit every now & then but hes literally & unfortunately yuki's biggest fan 💀#im not posting this with hope for the 2nd seat idgaf anymore (lol. lying) im just flabbergasted at how much he visited him 💀#thats why i feel betrayed hes siding w lawson lol cause ive never seen them together 😭#LIKE when liam outscored yuki at sg last yr all he said was#“good job. that's pretty much it” LMFAO? helmut was pissed 😭#tbf hes been backing yuki for YEARSS i think hes just tired now 💀 at least w lawson he can agree w horner ab & he can have a pawn somewhere#but i dont see how sharing liam w horner can help marko 😭 liam will be loyal to him for sure but the bias is so clear 💀#liam would easily jump ship to horner 💀#i 100% blame helmut for the pointless team trapping of yuki like he DEF did it. i dont think he wants to let him go LOL. but im mad ab it😭#once again i dont speak with a source you're 🫵 in my delirious mind palace and you're hostage in it 😁#he'd rather have yuki careerless post 2026 than not have him at red bull 💀 should be funny but im PISSED#ITS SO EASY JUST FRAUD HIM INTO A TOP SEAT 😭#ppl calling yuki a honda merchant when hes a helmut merchant 😭 theyre literally his parents who are divorcing LOL#rmb when yuki said he didnt read thru the contract? im convinced its cuz helmut made it so he just said yes 💀#apparently honda wanted to keep him 1 more yr @ f3 but marko promoted him to f2 anyway 💀 & hes the one who dropped him into europe 💀#ah helmut. yuki's double edged sword#dropped him to europe & cant empathise with him struggling there alone 💀 typical racist grandpa#this opens a tough question tho: did the therapy he forced yuki to do actually help? cause if it was someone else he wouldnt even have care#he handled it so awfully but his concern for yuki was... is real.#i was thinking that i need yuki to have someone who favors him just as how ron dennis did for mika then i realized that's literally helmut💀#hes still alive cause hes not going until he sees yuki as wdc 😭#helmut marko#yuki tsunoda#yt22#f1txt
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Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..
#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART#I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal#like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends#who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO#and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom#how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house#so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is#by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone#so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis#already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS#it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of#using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht#ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible#theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other#i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close#but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru#i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like#who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in#but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to#put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i#theyre all so. NNGGHHHH#ouran#ohshc#yapping
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I am so entranced by ur style it's crayzay . . . I adore how you draw Sakura and Kakashi they're so silly goofy
thank youuu!!!!!! :^D i love drawing them, especially interacting together, i think there's SUCH a wealth of possibility that kishimoto failed to exploit in his storytelling that could lead to detailing parallels between the two of them—and woudln't it be a bit fitting if she ends up being, in many ways, the one most like kakashi? the one left behind?
#yamswers#rosetylerisms#ILL GO INSANE IF I START TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT IT AGAIN BUT. LISTEN#THEYRE SO ALIKE IN SO MANY WAYS !#all of the kids are like kakashi a little bit and i know sasuke was intended to present the most direct parallels but sasuke is#well. whatever. im not going to get into it BUT the point is#at the very least. while sasuke was off with orochimaru and naruto was off with jiraiya#sakura and kakashi stayed in the village while sakura learned under tsunade#i would NOT be surprised if they met up for lunch every so often so kakashi could get updates on at least ONE of his student's educations#and when you spend time with people you inevitably reflect them in minute undetectable ways#my point is that one day they go out to lunch all of them all together as adults (sai naruto sasuke sakura yamato kakashi)#and sakura and kakashi pick up their meals in exactly the same way at the same time and its just that. just such a small tiny thing#meaningless#but everyone else is like “Huh ?”#AND THERES NO ANSWER TO THAT HUH! BECAUSE ITS A MEANINGLESS GESTURE ! its just a way of holding a bowl! a coincidence of timing !#but all the same everyone is like what the fuck sakura is like kakashi in this small way. and naruto points it out to her because he knows#it will piss her off#and it does. she's still the one who criticizes kakashi the most brutally. and sai is just baffled about what any of this matters for#but he doesn't want sakura to get bullied alone he's Trying To Be Nice so he starts immitating both sakura and kakashi.#WHICH MAKES SAKURA MORE MAD#and sasuke is like woa things are different than when i left. and he's just observing.#and yamato doesn't have anything to add this is massively entertaining for him. dinner and a show? watching kakashi get dunked on? say less#god. “i'll go insane if i start talking too much about it again” me @ me: darling i think you're insane to begin with.#MY POINT IS. SHE IS HER LADY'S STUDENT. AND HER SENSEI'S STUDENT. and it should SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i keep wanting to continue watching edgerunners whenever people hype it up again, but i absolutely hate lucy and i think i only got to like episode 3.
#shes just so annoying to me tbh#also the fact shes a grown adult that had sex with a minor is offputting#'its night city!!!111' isnt an excuse to me#even aside from that i just find her incredibly annoying and really unlikeable without even finishing the show#i wish she wasnt a main character bc i rlly dont like her LMFAO#and the fact shes a complete bitch to david but they have a romance is just#whyyyyyy#what if i dont fucking care about their relationship#ive already been spoiled on it so at least if i finally suffer through it i can keep reminding myself that she ends up on the moon alone#tbh i dont really care for david or rebecca eitheir#i like them both better than lucy but theyre still abit annoying#im just going based on clips ive seen later in the anime for the two of them#maybe they get better but idk if ill ever finish it#everybody in the show feels less well written and more stereoptical character tropes than the game imo#somebody made the perfect point abt david and lucys relationship#why do they expect us to care about their shitty ass relationship when they only spent like 3 episodes together?#i feel like they should not have gone for the romance angle whatsoever tbh#i like how the game has very optional romances (the main story sex scenes dont count as romance)#but youre forced to endure a shitty romance in the show
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i cant get over how absolutely insane satosugu is...gege was born to write yaoi forced to write shounen
#sorry i remembered hidden inventory arc n im insane about them again :(( SAD LITTLE GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONE!!!#nah but it just...OUGHHH they make me so upset!!!#its just they way they start out immediately understanding each other bc gojo has been alone on a pedestal basically his entire life+#but then he meets geto who treats him like a normal dude!!! not a weapon!!! and just watching them annoy each other as normal teens +#makes me emotional bc theres so much cruelty and just DEATH in their world but at the least they have each other to get through it!!!#theyre the strongest together after all right!!! then toji happens and gojo starts to perfect his abilities with him automating infinity#and then the gap between the two just gets wider and wider...until the final confrontation where the one who understood gojo all this time#not only leaves him but calls him arrogant at the same time showing gojo the ONLY person who he though understood just..doesnt+#and hes left alone again in the same place he was years ago...AND OUGHHHHH#idk i watched a video analysis of hidden inventory where the guy said geto was just as egotistical as gojo except in having a savior comple#and tbh i never though of that before!! but looking back it makes sense with how he spoke to riko + the way he slaughtered the whole villag#to not just save the girls but also prove to himself that he could make the world he wanted#the guy in the video put it basically that since the gap between gojo and geto was so wide geto would rather be the best villain+#than second best hero and that makes a lot of sense since his ideals/goals as a villain go against his usual rational behavior#he KNOWS its probably impossible (for him at least it wouldnt be for gojo which he admits) but he has to do it for himself#sorry im rambling but AHHHHHH how tf did gege write this??? its such a small part of the story but its arguably the catalyst for everything#aside from plot wise it simply just is impactful emotionally! gege had to go thru a toxic codependent homoerotic friendship to write this+#theres just no other way#jjk#jujustu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#satosugu
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We may be going extinct but at least we have each other.
#I love them all sm i cannot explain#i imagine this being the day before the movie begins#that this is last happy moment they'd all have together#and none of them would know it#thatd be crazy wouldnt it? being Casey and just thinking. yesterday we were smiling laughing and singing karaoke. today im the only one lef#the fact that he'd miss his timeline despite all the bad and horror of it. he had them. he had his family.#he had everything he needed (other than those he lost). he was happy despite the horrors. and now its all gone.#he's stuck in the past with what feels like ghosts of who he knew#its still them. they're still his family. he still loves them even if in different ways now.#but they dont know him. he's not family. not yet. but he will be. and it hurts. and it will hurt for the rest of his life#but at least yesterday they got to laugh and sing#and today he will laugh and cry reminiscing#and tomorrow he'll laugh and cry. but the past ghosts of those he knew will hold him and tell him all will be okay.#because it will. it will be okay. it wont ever stop hurting. thats not what theyre saying. but the okay will co-exist with the hurt#and it will be horribly painful but beautiful#because “Anata wa hitori ja nai” you're not alone. this is new beginnings. he wont ever have to fear again.#death will take them all one day. but it wont be for a long long while.#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt movie#rottmnt future leo#rottmnt future mikey#rottmnt future april#rottmnt future draxum#rottmnt casey jr#save rottmnt#rottmnt bad future#my art#holding them lovingly
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If I had a quid for every novel I've read this year in which a Northern Irish character is revealed to be gay in the closing pages I'd have two quid. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
#mrs hart's marriage bureau by sheena wilkinson#trespasses by louise kennedy#if you even care#the next book im planning to read also has a gay character in it but its revealed in the blurb lmao#these days by lucy caldwell#all historical fiction#i went into these two books not knowing shit...so on one hand nice surprise and on the other whyyy like the pain in these characters alone#and the fact that it gets revealed at the end. like as a reader ur putting it together but also doubting urself#at least for wilkinson's. with kennedy's it was more obvious imo but also he wasn't the main character#idk i have thoughts but theyre not coherent
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..
#i feel so terrified and alone looking at the state of the world and everyone in it#i know we all know how bad it is and we're all up to our eyeballs in stressors#but we don't have time to wait for a bettee opportunity or a better time. they won't give us one#usa folks need to be organizing with their communities. we need to be galvanizing each other and our friends to do the same#We need to force our country to get its shit together ourselves. It won't happen overnight or on its own#We need to empower each other to depend less on the system by co-operating and breaking down the barrier between neighbors#something. anything#I at least need someone to tell me theyre gonna try. fuck#seeing people just living their lives and trying to go back to normal when our environment is collapsing is making me lose it#we cant afford to wait. we cant.
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Ok do blocked tags not show up in the recent section of following tags as much???? Bc here I am thinking plantcest is rare on tumblr in comparison to twitter, but then I happen upon a post in the trending tab of the tag & then go to the blog to block them (as I do). And then I end up finding post after post after post of plantcest, so hey Free Blocklist. I must've blocked like 10 blogs man and some of them were artists whose work I recognized. Literally How did I miss all this shit?
#speculation nation#like sometimes they show up but maybe once every few days or so#overall i just dont see them. but theyre there i guess.#well. i'll see them even less from these artists at least :p#sucks too bc one of them i recognized from p5 and im just like. THIS is the pairing youve thrown your lot in with?#just. ughhhhhhhhh#im never gonna shut up about my hatred of this pairing btw genuinely it fucking churns my gut how popular it is#i hate it so fucking much. no im not gonna go starting fights with people who post this shit#but i will Gleefully block them all so i dont have to see it#and i will post openly about my hatred of if here on my tumblr dot com bc this is my place to do so#i purposefully avoid mentioning the ship name in the tags so it hopefully wont show up in tag searches :p#that's my baseline effort to not cause drama. other than that? im going to complain away.#better to be vocally against it i think so that other ppl who think like i do dont feel the utter despair of being swamped by so much of it#bc it can be incredibly disheartening to see so many artists openly supporting this shit w/o any qualms at all#so like. fellow ppl who Hate this shit. u r not alone.#now let's be little haters together & happily ignore that entire section of the internet.#incest ment/
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i have so many feelings and i hate it
#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and#and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and#i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me.#i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and#its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine#and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like#be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work#even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much#and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea#and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an#auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them#i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk.#theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk#i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all#i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but#ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u#ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are#i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too#but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and.#urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf#i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc#like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk#i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can#like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and#more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff#i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m#bc i get to decide that :^(#when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk.#theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh
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feeling very 🧍♂️ may not be around for a bit
#its nothing tumblr related really its more just irl#a mix of being tired and having deadlines and not being able to make myself work#and the. kinda harsh switch in vibe in the house from last nights everyone hanging out having fun#to todays me alone cleaning up after everyone and knowing that the others are content doing their own thing and don't wanna hang w me#which like!! is fine im not expecting to be the center of their world its just.#idk we used to hang out every night watching a movie or some tv and laughing#and ever since i got back from my trip we just. we spend time together maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks and it takes me asking if they wanna#hang out like 3000 times before it ever happens and when it does there's just. theres a disconnect#and I think they just realized during the two months i was away that theyre. maybe a bit happier without me#or at least they find it easier to not hang out#like theyve got jobs now so obviously they dont have time the way they used to but its not just that theres been a Shift#i think they also might. kinda resent me for the trip and having that opportunity#which sucks bc i cant. do anything ab that i had no say in the trip i didnt want to go#and even saying that makes me very. like that feels like such a selfish arrogant thing to say to want to turn down a trip across the world#but everyone who was here during that trip knows that i spent the entire time dissociating and getting yelled at and suicidal so uh#i dont think its selfish to not have wanted to go when i Knew it'd end like that but i think they might think it was#ANYWAY this got depressing and sad i dont mean to bring shit here its just i literally only have 3 friends and 2 of them r these ones#and the other is so emotionally unavailable and doesnt really take mental health seriously so#ooc.#negative cw
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jarty?
they’re cool i like ‘em
#i wouldn’t write them alone#if we’re talking about my ranking that’s why they’re not there#but i do like them#especially if we’re putting them in rosestarkillerchaser…….#no one gets thier dynamic right though#at least in my opinion#like i do think they work alone#they’re not like a lovey dovey couple#they’re not a couple in the way you think of couples#they’re at each others throats all the time but theyre still together#personally though i’m horrible at multi shipping and if jeg isn’t there i can’t do it for longer than a week#it comes in phases#my jarty phase is gone rn but it could easily come back it probably will#it’s the same with bartylus#it just cuts in and out#but i still like them!!
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ah. I haven't listened to this song in years. I stopped listening to it because I wanted to make a music video for it. but I needed my friends to help me. I asked them multiple times and they would never help. I was very upset about it so I had to stop listening to the song. I even have an entire script written out for almost every part of the song. I was so proud of my ideas and excited to make the video. but I couldn't get what I needed because no one I was friends with are creative minds who understand or share my passion for creating. we aren't friends anymore, but I never found any better replacements.
I have to throw away so many ideas because people won't help me and i cant physically do them alone. making short films/mvs especially. it's been a lifelong passion I never got to do (unless you count my gta rp videos. but I can't do those anymore because gta rp is kinda toxic and the people are hard to work with. but that's the closest i've gotten) it's extremely upsetting. I don't know how people get whole teams for stuff. and I don't mean rich people that can hire anyone. I mean those people that can get a group of friends who share the same creativity and passion and do cool stuff together. they are so lucky.
I don't remember any of the ideas I had now even reading what I noted down. so I don't think I could make this video now. all my ideas fade away and never get made. that's so sad. now i'm having the same issue with making a firefly video with if I can stop one heart from breaking. I write a script (and even drew panel sketches) but I can't get even one person to help me shoot it. I can't move the camera and be in the shot at the same time. so I haven't listened to the song in a while since it makes me sad to think about the dying ideas. ugh. why is this how my life always goes?
sorry for the rant. lee is very sad and frustrated 😞
#like youtube channels that put out short films and its a whole team of people that work on them and theyre all friends not hired actors#or any group that does creative stuff together as friends and coworkers. a perfect example is drawfee on youtube. i want what they have#but im not someone people see and are excited to befriend or create with. AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN IT 😭#i had ONE friend that wanted to get into short film making and stuff and i got super excited and said we should do it togther because#its a thing ive wanted to do forever and she accused me of trying to steal her spotlight and stuff and refused to work with me#thats not how friendships should work 😭 i hope she never got anyone else to ever work with her and has to suffer alone like me#lee text#if i cant do irl videos then id at least like to do things like tell stories through gta/red dead servers and record and make videos#but i cant even get people to do THAT. why do i suck at meeting creative people and suck at getting people to do things with me 😭#lee rants#HOW DO I MAKE PEOPLE LIKE ME AND WANT TO DO COOL STUFF WITH ME?! other people make it look so easy#while ive been begging and trying to bribe people for years. even offering money for simple things but im so unlikable nothing works
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udgdjfnfkusjdbdvcnxdhdhhgh
#starting to feel so bad again im abt to rip my entire skin off they should make a me that isnt in constant fucking pain#sick of making posts complaining thats all i do at weekends apparently!!!!!!!!!!#at least ill be back at work tmr so ill have shit to do and u wont have to see all this bullshit all the time#i was so stupid to think meds would help emotionally like yeah the first two weeks were better but everyone said there was a honeymoon#period and after that it fades and im back to dealing with the exact same shit ive dealt with for ten fucking years#laura marling was so real for old stone ten thousand years and youre still on your own but you love dont you love it this way!!!#having a normal one 👍#or atwoods my darling when the light fails and the fog rolls in and youre trapped in your overturned body [...] and the red flame is#seeping out of you igniting the pavement beside your head [...] none of us is [the favourite child] else we all are#i need to suck it up and pull my fucking shit together i cant keep doing this#i dont think theyre even helping me focus anymore its been so bad this week. at least im going back to the other one tmr#and maybe itll stabilise and help again and if it doesnt im giving up#i dont know if any of it is med related bc im like this without them anyway. ohhhh my head#i just wish i wasnt so alone i wish they actually cared i can deal when its bad but bad and lonely is so so much worse and im tired#i cant even make sense anymore whatever. just venting its all fine ill get past it i always do#.vent
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#i get such massive crushes on ppl#and like it is possible to remind myself that they aint feel that way back and either kill off those feelings#or at least not engage with those feelings lessun im alone#and like it makes me feel alive an i aint really got another outlet for romantic love? at least rn#but it also makes me end up feeling inordinately sad when ive been by myself thinking about that#daydreaming about people and what our lives could be like together#but im not. dating material. romance material. worth it. what ppl are looking for.#take your pick. all it means is that i cant conceptualize an interaction with someone where they arent holding me at arms length#and its a self-fulfilling prophecy because i accept that thats what i deserve#im gonna be fine after ive cried myself to sleep and this is not out of an actual expectation that these people would feel any type of way#because theyre all ppl with their own lives and im just a bit part in it or some fun or smth. and im legitimately good w playing that role#im just glad to be in these ppls lives to the extents they want me to be#i think my sadness mostly comes from the knowledge that whatever place i hold in their lives is impermanent
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