#sakura and kakashi stayed in the village while sakura learned under tsunade

[mokutone]

I am so entranced by ur style it's crayzay . . . I adore how you draw Sakura and Kakashi they're so silly goofy

thank youuu!!!!!! :^D i love drawing them, especially interacting together, i think there's SUCH a wealth of possibility that kishimoto failed to exploit in his storytelling that could lead to detailing parallels between the two of them—and woudln't it be a bit fitting if she ends up being, in many ways, the one most like kakashi? the one left behind?

[vesperlionheart]

The Fall of a King

Sakura had always had a mind keen enough for long games, so that’s why Naruto never saw her coming.

With all the love in her heart for her friend, Sakura could still admit the honest truth; that he hadn’t been a strong Hokage despite his prowess as a shinobi. The two jobs were too inherently and fundamentally different from one another, it was unfair to believe that the strongest fighter would make the wisest military strategist or diplomat.

Of course the hokage would have assistants who could fill in those gaps for them, Shikamaru was enough of a strategist and Naruto had plenty of others who would go off to sooth relations with the other villages to the best of their abilities, but at the end of the day everything fell on the shoulders of the hokage, and it was their decision to listen to such advisors and assistants.

What would happen if their foolish, hopeful, bright hokage didn’t believe in the grim truths of his expert advisors? What would happen if those expert advisors were ignored too many times? What if the hokage made decisions no one approved of for the sake of some groundless belief? What if, instead of honoring the sacrifice of his fallen allies, he made peace with their abusers and perpetuated the cycle?

Sakura was staring at two such answers in the privet office of her hospital, secured with only the best privacy protecting jutsu to ensure any patient’s medical condition stay between them and their doctor.

“Why do you think I would have something to do with it?” Sakura asked, casual as ever while Shikamaru and Yamato sat in seats across from her.

“Hn, you’re really good at lying,” Shikamaru sighed, fingers twitching for a cigarette. She had already swatted the first one out of his hands and deposited it atop her desk. Every so often she would casually roll it with her forefinger, watching the chief strategist for his reaction.

“Can a person lie when asking a question? I don’t believe I made an inaccurate statement.”

“This campaign of his will lose him political favor with the vast majority of the general public,” Shikamaru said without any concern in his voice. “You know him better than most.”

“Then you know there is no controlling Naruto. He’s never been one for listening to authority and it should be clear to you by now how much he respects me as anything other than a teammate.” Sakura pushed the cigarette up with her finger and then rolled it back, grinning at how Shikamaru’s eyes fixated on it. “You’re his advisor, Shikamaru, shouldn’t you be the one in charge of swaying him from this folly?”

When Shikamaru didn’t respond Sakura picked up the cigarette and turned it over in her fingers, careful to keep it where he could see it. Her eyes cut to Yamato, silent for all but his initial greeting. He had been quiet often, speaking less and less as he was forced to monitor his childhood abuser from afar on Naruto’s orders. More than once Sakura had urged him to seek some help with the mental anguish he was so clearly laboring under, but she might as well have been talking to a brick wall. She was curious why he was in her office now.

It had been a couple of months since they last talked, right after Sarutobi Hiruzen’s memorial day. To hear Naruto talk about the old man you’d think the third hokage never did anything wrong in his life. And true, to speak ill of the dead was in poor taste, but it was a choice to memorialize the old man and erect statues and name parks after him. It was hard to stomach this year after Sakura had started to see some of Hiruzen’s worst traits in his predecessor.

For Hiruzen it had been his blindspot for Danzo that led to the bloody Root- something Tsunade had lobbied and petitioned against. All her efforts to bring Danzo’s misdeeds to the public were shut down, even years later when they came up for review. Sakura had submitted the same proposal for the last four years to no effect. Neither Kakashi nor Naruto seemed keen on the idea of airing out dirty laundry for ‘no one’s’ benefit. For a while Sakura thought that was the most divisive issue between her and her old teammate, but that was before the Hyuga started showing up at her hospital in the darkness before sunrise.

“Tenzin,” she called, provoking Yamato for a reaction. It had been a while since someone last called him by his old name. Naruto instead on Yamato because that’s what he knew first. “Were you able to help the songbirds?”

He swallowed before nodding. “Only as much as you advised. Their seals are still in place but no longer mitigating their daily life like before.”

Shikamaru grimaced, looking between the two of them. “You didn’t tell me you had already spoken.”

“I only said we should speak to her,” Yamato cooly replied. “But you already knew we had talked.”

“You didn’t seem receptive to anything she said so I doubted your actual involvement,” Shikamaru admitted. “But it seems I miscalculated once more.”

“You thought either of us would stay still after learning what you already knew about Naruto’s dealings with the Hyuga?” Sakura scoffed. “Really?”

“In the absence of the Uchiha clan the Hyuga are arguably our strongest ally so it wasn’t necessary for me to pry into their business so deeply.”

Sakura almost snapped his cigarette between her fingers. “I’m tempted to throw you out right now for being such a placating coward. You’re smarter than that, you just didn’t want to look too deeply into the dark or thought yourself above it because it wasn’t you who was wooing the Hyuga heiress.”

Shikamaru forced his eyes up, though Sakura could tell it required some effort. “I’m here now.”

“Then,” interjected Yamato, “Are you ready to hear what we want to stop?”

“Even if you have a good idea you deserve to see it spelled out for you,” Sakura added.

The Nara clan head nodded, squaring his shoulders.

Without breaking eye contact or setting aside the cigarette between her fingers, Sakura reached underneath her desk and pulled out a file. It split open upon impacting the desk and showed off a number of reports and diagrams of the human body. Then there were the pages with jutsu spells and variations of the ‘Caged Bird’ seal Sakura had taken note of. Beneath those were mortuary reports.  

“In Orochimaru’s absence his sadistic traditions seems to have been inherited by the most powerful noble clan in our village. Conveniently, our hokage is willing to overlook this,” Sakura leaned back and snapped her fingers in front of the cigarette she had placed between her lips, lighting it. Over the smoke she locked eyes with Shikamaru. “But I’m not.”

“Is that why you baited him into a game of chicken with the daimyo?” Shikamaru asked, meeting her eyes between the smoke. “A game you know he can’t win?”

Sakura exhaled a long stream, purifying her lungs with cycled chakra as she did so. “It’s about time someone broke this damn cycle, don’t you think so?"

[captnjacksparrow]

Hey, really liked your analysis of Hinata. I feel almost the same way about her. Even though generally I dislike female characters who are naturally meek, subservient and pointless with no character arc in any type of media, what made me absolutely hate her character was how she treated Neji. If Kishi wanted to show her arc being developed organically, instead of proposing to Naruto that removes her stuttering and gives her new found confidence (because girls only get confident when proposing to guys 🙄), Kishi could have shown her talking to Neji after he literally told his bitter story on the chuunin exam grounds in front of everyone. She is shown like she is sympathetic but didn't do anything about it. She didn't even talk to him after he was hospitalized. She knew exactly why he was the way he was, and yet she fights him as if it was his fault. She, an heir of the clan, could have asked her father to support Neji, she had some clout. But nope. In fact, it was Neji who apologizes to her in a way, he is the one who trains her and help create a new jutsu for her. What did she ever do for him exactly? And Neji didn't have to help her. She was in the best position to help and understand Neji but what did she do? A lot of fans like her character because she is reserved but kind and sympathetic. She is reserved but a coward. She was not kind towards Neji. He died for her when he didn't deserve to, he had dreams and goals that were much bigger than Hinata's entire existence. She couldn't even see her own cousin's pain and she claims to understand Naruto?? Really??

Even Kishi said she was a pitiful character who only watches from a distance. He deliberately made her that way, no goal, no backbone and no lines. And I think she sucks the most after Danzo.

WoooW!!!! Thanks for the ask, Anon.

[[Hinata and Sakura fans!!!! Please stay away and don't interact. I fucking tagged them properly]].

Even though generally I dislike female characters who are naturally meek, subservient and pointless with no character arc in any type of media, what made me absolutely hate her character was how she treated Neji.

We definitely share the same thoughts on this one, Anon.

I am really tired on most of the media for their poor treatment of female characters.

The last time I was amused by a female character was from 'Game of Thrones', I loved Cersei Lannister, who is an absolute biashhh and Sansa Stark, started out as an annoying rose tinted princess but ended up winning everyone's heart. Both are non-combative, soft spoken and somewhat powerless women in a world dominated by men. But they just didn't let the inconveniences stop them and instead they learned how to fuck that world back and take control. Both are similar and yet very different.

After seeing, such well-developed characters..... For me girls in Naruto series, is blehhhhh..... Nothing to get inspired from them. And I knew it by episode 3 itself. I have no idea how can girls, in real life, treat Sakura as some feminist icon, which makes my skin crawl for number of reasons. If you point her mistakes out in any discussions, they will pull the misogynist card to your face. When in reality, I am also a girl and my world views are entirely different from Sakura or Hinata. There is no way a 12 year old girl would want to look at the Duck of another boy.

And the problem is, They form the majority, I mean people who can connect with Sakura or Hinata. So, as long as girls like them exists, we really should suffer from these crap portrayal I guess.

That's why I advise people that If you want to see a good woman character, Narutoverse is not the place.

Having said that, I find Temari, Konan, Tsunade were better (I mean inside the Narutoverse). Though their motivations or reason to achieve a goal revolve around their men, I find their attitude relieving. Unlike Sakura or Hinata, they don't wet themselves on the sight of the men they love.

What irritates me was, Kishimoto could've easily put a character like Temari or TenTen or Tsunade into Team 7. It would've made my viewing experience a lot better. If he doesn't want the strong girls to take over the attention from his boys, then he should've introduced a meek character like Rin Nohara. She is silent and cute but atleast she was willing to die for the Village and never wetted herself over Kakashi, though she loved him. And she treated Obito like her best friend. But he deliberately made Sakura hateful and he never stopped.

Sakura and Hinata were the lowest of the low, compared to any other side characters. And, in the end, they got the main Character's Ducks without actively doing anything. For me this tells me three things

He was using these girls as a shield to close the hetero normative mouths while in reality hiding those boys true feelings under that shield.

He really hated these kind of girls and constantly showing his hatred on them at every given chance and never redeemed them back. 

He knew the target audience’ mindset and he simply caters them by giving them what they need and at the same time writing the important arcs according to his wish.

I think, it’s the combination of all three. 

Just to give you an example.

There is this delusional SS shipper Who justifies Sasuke was acting Tsundere throughout the war arc. I mean, come on!!!! 

I came across this post because, the Original Poster was an idiot who comes into the anti SS tag and reblogged my content and saying I was wrong... So, I don’t mind sharing that person’s content.

So I don’t know where this delusion comes from... It's truly pathetic.

There are millions of idiots who believe in this kind of shit and Kishi is deliberately feeding them with bits and crumbs while making his boys go out and save the world.

These delusional mindset tells us they don’t give a single shit about the story as a whole. They watch it purely for the pretty faces and getting high over them. In this case, Sasuke.

It’s as clear as day that Sasuke didn’t care about anyone other than Naruto when fighting the war. You don’t have to be a shipper but even a non-shipper can point this out. I mean Sasuke wouldn’t have saved Jugo either, if he didn’t come to Sasuke and advice him. Do you think Sasuke would’ve tried to look for Jugo and saved him at all cost???? It’s just that he came to Sasuke and he helps him back. But Sasuke would’ve saved Naruto from the bomb blast even if he was standing a mile away.

So, if these delusions reflects the mindset of the majority of the women audience, then the creator will never try to give anything better but instead give us some low-life characters like Sakura and Hinata. 

So, Anon, your expectation for Hinata’s character could’ve been developed much better is just a wishful thinking. Because, Hinata is a character for these kind of people and not for us. And the author deliberately did it. 

She was in the best position to help and understand Neji but what did she do? A lot of fans like her character because she is reserved but kind and sympathetic. She is reserved but a coward. She was not kind towards Neji. He died for her when he didn't deserve to, he had dreams and goals that were much bigger than Hinata's entire existence. She couldn't even see her own cousin's pain and she claims to understand Naruto?? Really??

For me, this also irked me a lot. 

Hinata could’ve tried to talk to Neji about his problems even when he was a child. But she was simply playing innocent when in reality, she is just a coward. Even after the Chunin Exams, there was no apologies from her side, like you said. Because she is from the Main Branch. That hierarchy never changed. If she had the gall, she could’ve easily broken that hierarchy by saying, ‘I want Neji Nii-San to take over our Clan, He is the best candidate for this and I can gladly help him with all my efforts’.  A single line and just 2 or 3 panels, it all takes.

For me killing Neji is where Kishi asking us silently, 

Do you really want these pair to happen despite having a blood stain of another character??? 

Most people said, ‘Yes!!!’, because they don’t give two shits about Neji. As long as Hinata gets Naruto, the main character’s Duck, that’s all there is to it. It doesn’t matter who dies, who lives. 

That's why Kishi is shitting on them by making her as a non-existent woman in the Boruto Manga.

Even in real life, there are many hopeless foolish little girls who would do anything for the man she loves. I've seen them and I always stay 2 miles away from them. I mean, they even ditch their own friends and spends her entire time with him and when he dumps her later, she will come back to her friends for consolation. I think Sansa Stark is the best example for this. She started out much similar to Sakura and Hinata, believing in Princes and shit, she even naively betrayed her father for the man she had crush on. But the author made her to learn her lesson in a much painful way and later she came out as a Queen who no longer needed any man at the end. I think, this is called Development.

At the end of the day, Romance and Sex is all that matters. The author knew it. So, he is feeding these girls with some low quality cookies and they are very glad to take and eat it.

[raendown]

How It Should Have Ended Naruto Edition. What would you have changed and why?

- Neji would have lived, Hiashi would have died in his place. That would have been a much more meaningful death. He and Tenten would live happily ever after and have no kids and laugh at all their friends changing poopy diapers.

- People?? Would not?? All have babies in the exact same year??

- Yamato would NOT have to go out and chase after the source of all the trauma in his life but would instead partake in the arrest and execution of Orochimaru who 100% deserves it and then live happily ever after.

- Instead of chasing after this dream that clearly will never and did never come true Sakura would grow up to realize Sausage just isn’t good for her and would fall in love with someone who actually supports and openly loves her. (Am I biased? Is it Kakashi? Yes to both.)

- Sausage does not get to go on his stupid exile self pity tour but stays in Konoha and gets some motherfucking therapy like he so clearly needs.

- Naruto is the best fucking god damn father you have ever heard of. Clones? They can do all the work for him. He can make a hundred clones and stay updated on everything happening in the village while his real self stays home all day every day giving his kids the loving childhood he never got himself.

- Anko stays a bad ass kunoichi. Maybe she still gains weight, maybe not. The Akimichi sure prove that just because you’ve got a little padding doesn’t mean you can’t be good in a fight. She likes to drop by the academy and tell Iruka all about her wild mission adventures and proclaim that his life must be boring in comparison. 

- Temari stays her true intelligent and abrasive self but she goes on missions because she truly enjoys it. She is not a housewife. She does not threaten her husband with going to bed without dinner. Shikamaru is a grown ass man and cooks his own damn dinner when he needs to. They raise their child to to be a true Nara who drinks respect women juice for breakfast every morning and whose one true dream is to break the world record for napping.

- All the next gen children actually spend time with their parents and LEARN about their parents, train with their parents, and there is no stupidity about not knowing who their real father is or doubting who their parents really are or any such nonsense. 

- In his capacity as Hokage Kakashi would focus on finding ways to support the mental health of his shinobi so that no one ever has to go through the sort of trauma like he did alone. Ino would use her position as the Head of T&I to help him standardize therapy as something all shinobi have access to and create a regimen of psychological reviews that everyone must pass before being allowed on the field after a traumatic event. 

- Kiba would help this effort by suggesting therapy dogs. He would become the head of this project and love his life forever.

- We would actually get to see Ino taking Sai under her wing to help him grow as a human being then the way they accidentally fall in love along the way.

- Hanabi would become the head of the Hyuga clan and humbly request her sister’s help in abolishing the practice of the Caged Bird Seal. 

- Konohamaru would be set on track to realize his own dream of becoming Hokage once Naruto decides to step down and focus on his family

- Suigetsu and Karin would be best friends and travel the world together experiencing things for the sheer joy of living life on their own terms. Karin would get to build a relationship with Naruto as each others’ last living distant relatives, she would visit quite often. Probably hates his kids. He probably thinks it’s hilarious.

- Kakashi’s ninken would all retire and choose to live out their lives taking up space in the Hokage’s office or wherever he happens to be. 

- Gaara would not get a combover. Ever. 

- Mei would have been allowed to finally realize there is more to life than marriage and spend her retirement traveling around with Tsunade. 

- When he retired as well Kakashi would secretly continue the Icha Icha series and publish it under a pen name. Everyone knows it’s him. No one says a thing. All of them are too busy weeping in to their pillows over his beautiful prose. (Weeping with laughter. He’d be a terrible author.)

-Hm this got long. I regret nothing. 

[chatonyant]

Some of my initial doodles for the Sannin! mostly Tsunade though cause i love her hhhh

Some of my notes on their interactions have changed, but the general idea remains the same: Jiraiya and Tsunade, though not wholly present due to different issues and circumstances, care for Kakashi and sometimes catch up with him when he’s on missions. Kakashi, though having a hard time really trusting and asking for help, turns to those two when things are really rough.

Orochimaru in this is a distant figure. I’ve got a couple of notes on him but the general idea is that although distant, he was still a part of baby Kakashi’s life and Orochimaru’s later betrayal and defection stung.

More notes below!

Keeping up with the timeline is a right pain in the ass, so I’m not really going to paying too much attention to that. The Sannin and Sakumo are good friends due to their high ranking and are seen chilling together a lot. 

mm So the Sannin meet Kakashi as a wee baby before having to leave for Ame. Then the Sannin sans Jiraiya return, and Tsunade loses Dan soon after that. However, she does stay in Konoha for a bit before leaving with Shizune. 

SO. Tsunade meets Kakashi when he’s still learning how to talk properly. The little genius can understand well, but speaking is a tad difficult.  (i’m kinda hc that he has larger than average canines that he needs to grow into and made talking a tad difficult. He had a bit of lisp before he got used to it.) “Tsunade” is long, so babyKashi would call her Nade, which just stuck. As he grew and became more of the by the book shinobi he dropped it and began calling her “Tsunade-san”, which she laments. But later on in times of emotional or physical vulnerability, he resorts back to calling her ‘Nade. As he grew and became more comfortable with his life and who he is, the nickname came back as a more casual thing. 

When she left, she asked Kakashi if he wanted to come along. But Kakashi, having lost his father and hating the idea of going against the rules, turned her down. He felt betrayed by Tsunade leaving, and for a while didn’t respond to letters she sent. Tsunade purposefully ran into Team Minato whenever they had a mission outside the walls, but Kakashi would avoid her. But just because he didn’t want to talk to her didn’t mean he threw away the letters. He saved them and read them whenever he had free time. Minato found out and gently nudged Kakashi to respond, though Kakashi didn’t really listen. After the loss of Obito, he ran into Tsunade again, but this time didn’t hide. They talked, Tsunade checked up on his eye, and when Kakashi returned to the village, he began responding to her letters. Tsunade always asked Kakashi if he wanted to join her, but he never did. The two had two different ways of coping and couldn’t bear to leave that behind. 

When Tsunade returns to be Hokage, no one really knew the friendship and bond between the two. Team Seven found out first when Tsunade went to go watch her two kiddos, Naruto and Kakashi, and referred to them as such. 

When Sakura became her apprentice, she got so much blackmail in the form of baby stories.

I like to think that Jiraiya built his spy system for a while and was on more solo undercover missions to establish and check up on them. After all, intel is gold in a war. So he wasn’t able to visit as much as Tsunade, but when he did, he was a loud, hardy figure who brought so many gifts. He also brought Minato over at times and they just chilled. Jiraiya was in a long term mission when Sakumo died, so he wasn’t there to help in the immediate aftermath. I think Jiraiya (and all the sannin, really) has a hard time properly processing grief and went on more and more missions to distract himself. It didn’t help that there was another war brewing and intel was once again something the village desperately needed. Instead of letters, Jiraiya sent Kakashi little souvenirs from different places he visited. Occasionally, when he was in the village, the two would go to get food and Jiraiya would tell stories to a quiet Kakashi, who was listening but pretended he wasn’t. 

(I’m throwing the asshole sides of Jiraiya oUT the window. He’s not a creep, he can be respectful, and he’s a theatre nerd.) 

Jiraiya chose a hard road when he decided to become a spymaster. Though he’s out the village most of the time, he is also under a lot of pressure to be out and about, collecting intel. He’s almost forced to be out the village at times, and he can’t quite be there for the people he cares about. When Tsunade left, he kept in touch with her and met up with her when he could. 

Orochimaru was usually there because he was dragged along by Tsunade or Jiraiya or Sakumo ran into him in the markets or whatnot and dragged him along to catch up. He’s a generally apathetic and a bit detached? mmm I’m not sure how to put this into words but he’s like the ultimate Ravenclaw. Obsesses over knowledge and does anything to pursue it. So he spends his time in his labs and when he gets dragged along, he’s a bit irritated at the disruption. But he doesn’t hate it, and he just,,, he’s detached, he’s apathetic, and he doesn’t seek to further the bonds made by the other Sannin and Sakumo. But regardless there is a bit of a bond, and ultimately he feels betrayed when the others leave and Sakumo dies. And without the others, Orochimaru and Kakashi don’t have a reason to interact beyond the occasional nod of greeting as they pass each other by. In Orochimaru’s mind, Kakashi is “the annoying pup” while in Kakashi’s it’s “dad’s old friend”. 

Orochimaru, in his pursuit of knowledge, continues on this path of questionable actions until he’s later busted by the Sandaime and escapes Konoha to create his own place where he could do questionable things in peace. 

[depressedhatakekakashi]

New au:

Naruto can't force Sasuke to stay, so he leaves the village with him

He thinks nobody but Iruka really cares about him anyway

Sakura has never really looked at him, too busy fawning over Sasuke, her (let's be honest, a little bit obsessive at the time) crush in the way of making her see anything else

Kakashi even less, Naruto has never felt really important in his eye

(Naruto doesn't know it, but Kakashi just can't bear to look at him. There is Minato in his golden hair and blu eyes. There is Kushina in his smile and fiery spirit. There is Obito in his gentleness and stubborness. In there, Kakashi also sees his own mistakes, too young as he was and lost in his own despair after Minato's death to take care of Naruto, he sees it every time someone crosses the street to not walk near him, in the way Naruto's smile falters when he thinks no one can see)

When Kakashi reaches the Valley of End, instead of finding an unconscious Naruto he finds two hitai-ate abandoned on the shore

Why you gata hurt my boy like this 😭😭😭Kakashi's just so bad at showing he cares because everyone he has cares for except Gai and Yamato is dead

He has already lost so much.

Imagine Naruto and Sasuke growing and training together under orochimaru while Kakashi continues to train Sakura as a solo student. Improving her Taijutsu, ninjitsu and genjutsu while she learns medical ninjitsu from Tsunade

Naruto and Sasuke thinking they're leaving everyone in Konoha in the dust in terms of strength, but the next time they see their old teammates they're so much stronger. Not about to lose to the two of them easily and surprising them

And imagine Naruto saying no one would miss him. That Iruka would get over it, and Sakura didn't care..that Kakashi didn't even notice him

And Kakashi finally snapping. Not with anger, but with regret and hurt

Telling Naruto none of that is true. That Naruto is his precious student just as much as Sasuke and Sakura, and he would have done anything to protect them. To keep them away from a creep like orochimaru, even if it cost him his own life

[cherrywoes]

ichi. (acanthus.)

SAKURA GENTLY RAN HER fingers across the soft, barely there pinpricks of hair at the back of her head. The knots had been too large to untangle without time and copious amounts of conditioner, and while she lamented the loss of growth, she found she quite liked the style. There was enough hair left on the top of her head that it could easily cover the uneven lengths of hair clinging to the bottom half of her scalp. She peered at herself through a small hand mirror Tsunade had provided her and didn’t like what she found. She looked too pale, malnourished, and the once healthy glow she had when she was free had vanished. She looked every bit the prisoner they had made her to be.

Any hope she had previously shriveled up and died when she looked at the crimson mark upon her forehead. When she touched it experimentally, it zinged! into the back of her brain where she felt strange bolts of electricity bounce back and forth within and route back to the mark. It was a very harsh reminder that she was no longer Sakura Haruno—she was someone else, someone who killed her teammates because her pride wouldn’t let her admit to her own weakness.

She gave Tsunade the mirror and pointedly ignored the curious look the Hokage sent her out of the corner of her eye.

“Your trial will be as straightforward as it can be, given the circumstances.” Tsunade tucked the mirror into her pocket with a sigh. She looked tired, as well, as she always did since she had become Hokage. Using sake as her coping mechanism didn’t do her any good, either, despite her younger appearance; Sakura could see it weighing on her, the drag of age and idleness. “I don’t think there’s much you can do in your own defense except to be honest; if you’re lucky, the elders might put you in for an extended prison stay—or they could also execute you outright.”

“Isn’t that what everyone wants though?” Sakura pulled her knees to her chest and squeezed them in an attempt to comfort herself. She didn’t have Naruto to reassure her that everything was okay; he was outside of the village, tracking down an errant Sasuke—his life had boiled down into an endless chase of their former teammate. It was all he could think about the last time she had seen him, his mind focused on dragging him back to Konoha even if it was the last thing the Uchiha wanted for himself. He would hate her, too, for this. “For me to be executed?”

Tsunade frowned. “They want answers, Sakura. The families of the men and women you killed, the wives and husbands and sons and daughters—they all want to know why you did it.”

She closed her eyes, faces flashing through her mind in a quick succession. Yamanaka eyes; Hyuuga eyes; the large frame of an Akamichi, smiling, offering her slices of fruit. “I guess they’ll be disappointed when they learn it was because I lost my abilities and killed them instead because of my own stupidity.”

“You underestimate them, Sakura.” The blonde woman shook her head slowly and gathered up the worn and dirty clothes she had left hanging on the side of the basin. “They’re going to hate you for it. It’s your decision whether or not you give them further reason to hate you even more, or prove them wrong and make up for your mistakes.”

Sakura opened her eyes and stared obstinately at the wall, listening to the words unsaid: if they even accept your apology to begin with.

She didn’t expect acceptance at all.

When Sakura took her first step outside in months, the sun made her eyes water uncontrollably. It was no longer winter within Konoha—not that she had ever favored it to begin with—but autumn, the trees turning from green to a myriad of shades between orange, red, and yellow hues. The grass beneath her shoes was crisp, on the verge of decaying and preparing for the next winter, and filled the air with a familiar scent she hadn’t been sure she would ever experience ever again. The sun was comforting and warm as it surrounded her in a suffocating embrace, her skin already starting to turn rusty red with a sunburn. She didn’t mind it, though—it was almost a reminder of the life she had lied to keep and lost.

“Sakura.” Kakashi stood, waiting for her outside the doors of the prison complex. He was early and nearly on time, Icha Icha Paradise’s sienna cover just barely visible from behind his back, tucked away into his pocket. He looked as tired as Sakura felt, dark eye bags highly visible against his skin, so much so that it looked as if he had earned two right hooks to both eyes. “Are you ready? Or do you want to bask in the sun some more?”

Once, she might have thought he was teasing. But the look in his eye, the tone of his voice, all denoted that he was serious, that he would risk being late if she wanted to sit in the sun and burn just a little bit longer, to feel the freedom that had been taken from her by her own actions. She considered it, momentarily, looking to the sky. The light burned her eyes and a single teardrop fell from her right eye and slid down her cheek. “No.”

“Alright then.” He looked unsure, then, eyeing the ANBU guards that stood behind her in their respective Raccoon and Panda masks. She had never seen them before until now, but she knew that Kakashi didn’t recognize them, either, and it was most likely a deliberate move on the council’s part. “Let’s go then.”

The walk to the Hokage tower and, consequently, the council chambers where her trial would be held, was not a peaceful procession. People, ninja and civilians alike—faces she didn’t recognize, she thought with some relief, even though guilt gnawed at her heart—screamed at her, got so close that spittle flew in her face when they yelled obscenities at her. When words failed, they began throwing rotten fruit, vegetables, and even pots of molding and old food. Several slices of sour cantaloupe slid down her cheek, juices clinging to her skin, gnats flocking to the scent. Her ANBU did nothing to prevent them from chucking a pot of scalding chicken broth on her, either. They were for the public’s safety, not hers; and even so, they wouldn’t have stopped them even if they had been ordered to, she figured.

When it touched her skin, burned like acid and lit her body on fire, she didn’t scream. Burnt, acrid flesh was not a pleasant odor, and combined with the chicken broth, it sent several civilians away with nausea. She could hear them exclaiming over the stench with their faces pulled into looks of disgust, both at the people who had thrown it (fondly, because it was ‘justified’, however bad it smelled) and at Sakura as she trudged by, her skin livid red and breaking into fever. The flesh of her arm, some of her neck, and flecks on her cheek would scar, if the agonizing pain sending her brain into a white fog was any indication.

Kakashi, walking ahead of her at a leisurely pace, was forced to remain impartial. She could understand him, of course, in that aspect. The village would turn on him, too, and then he would truly have nothing left. His team was disbanded, Naruto had devolved into a man on an impossible mission and false hopes, Sasuke had left the village and become Orochimaru’s apprentice and, afterwards, his killer, and Sakura, his final remaining student, had become his protege, his perfect copy—a friend killer, a ninja killer, just as he was.

Perhaps, Sakura thought as she fixed her gaze on Kakashi’s shoes, fate worked in very obvious, very deliberate ways, and was not as mysterious as anyone ever said it was.

Sakura arrived at the Hokage tower dripping with steaming chicken broth, mold clinging to her clothes from various entrees of old food, and reeking of weeks old tea that was just on the verge of becoming kombucha. Shizune waited for them, her face harsh and pale and completely emotionless. If she had any opinion on her former friend’s crimes, she gave no indication of it, her mouth pulled into a straight, thin line, her lips as white as her face.

“They have already convened and arrived at a verdict.” Shizune’s dark eyes darted to Sakura momentarily, the pain there deep and unfathomable, and then back to Kakashi, flicking over the ANBU guards and the growing crowd rioting around the entrance of the building. “Her presence wasn’t necessary.”

Her. As if she was a thing to be spoken of, an object. Once that might have angered Sakura, might have forced her into an enraged spiel, but the only emotion she could muster up at the derogatory tone was faint irritation that was suffused by the harsh throb of the burns on her arm.

“Tsunade’s orders.” Kakashi shrugged. He glanced back at her, then at her burns, and sighed. “At least heal her. Those burns could get infected—”

“I am under order not to provide care to Sakura Haruno under any circumstances.” Shizune shifted uncomfortably at that. “As is the rest of the village. Basic necessities, and nothing more.”

Her former sensei said nothing else and Sakura refused to open her mouth and beg Shizune of all people to heal her. She should have been able to heal herself, yet she had not even a scrap of medical chakra to speak of and risked cutting off her own arm in the process. It would probably be preferable to the festering, infected blisters she would gain in the coming days—if she was even alive to experience it.

She suffered in her own silence, closing her eyes against the pinpricks of hot white light that threatened to send her into unconsciousness. It was easy to block out the pain when she was stuck in her head; her pain tolerance was high, but without the help of her seal, of Tsunade’s healing advice and her medical chakra, she was reduced to biting her lips to stop herself from squalling and collapsing onto the wooden floor beneath her feet. Blood flowed into her mouth, metallic and bitter, like the blood that flowed from her teammates’ veins.

Sakura didn’t know how long she stood there in a half daze, flanked by her ANBU and Shizune and Kakashi talking quietly in front of her in short, stilted sentences. Their opposing affections for her prevented them from talking casually; Kakashi’s guilt prevented him from hating her and Shizune’s righteous sense of justice prevented her from offering her even a shred of pity. They spoke in whispers, so she could barely make out what they were saying, but she could read lips as well as any ninja; mentions of war, famine, disease—which made no sense to her, for what could have happened in the span of five months?

“Shizune. Kakashi.” Tsunade’s descent down the staircase, assisted by the wooden handrail, was slow and awkward. She was a little too hunched over, favoring her right hip and leaning heavily on the wall to support herself. Her gaze darted to Sakura. “Sakura. You came here for nothing. The decision has been made. I’m sorry.”

Kakashi stilled to the point that she wondered if he was even breathing. “They’re going to execute her?”

“Execution… would be a mercy at this point.” Tsunade produced a scroll from her pocket. Shizune’s strangled gasp was loud enough that it caught the attention of the ANBU. It was a thin scroll, no bigger than an index finger, and lined with gold and red trim. Sakura had never seen such a scroll in all her life, but with the way Kakashi went pale and Tsunade looked so defeated, she had to wonder what fate could be so awful, so terrible that even her nonchalant, uncaring teacher would appear to be frightened and disgusted. “The orders are clear and the vote was unanimous. Sakura Haruno will be given to ANBU, given a rank within the War Operations party, and shipped to the frontlines by dawn tomorrow.”

Shizune inhaled sharply. “It’s a death sentence in its own right.”

“Sakura isn’t suited for war,” Kakashi advised, voice breaking slightly. “They couldn’t agree on anything else? Not even execution?”

Tsunade shook her head slowly, guiltily. “Execution was too clean for them. A prison sentence was a slap on the wrist. The people wanted blood—so they gave it to them. Let her spill it for the name of the village, for the people they lost, they said.”

“And what if she survives?” Sakura couldn’t ignore the thread of concern that wove through Shizune’s question. “What about after the war?”

Tsunade looked at Sakura, then, her mouth turned downwards into a deep frown. “Then she may be free; but she can never return to Konoha.”

Nothing else needed to be said. Tsunade passed the scroll to Kakashi and vanished back up the stairs to her office, Shizune following without a glance back. The ANBU removed the chakra cuffs on her wrists, and while it might have felt like a cooling sensation when it returned to her system, all she felt was pins and needles, her nodes brimming to life with malicious energy. She rubbed her wrists tenderly, avoiding the burns as much as she could, and felt Kakashi’s hand land on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“Come on.” He veered her towards the back exit, where the crowd wouldn’t be able to see her. “We’ll go to my apartment, fix you up, and grab some supplies. Then… Then we wait.”

Wait for her inevitable departure and then, most likely, her death, of which Kakashi would probably never hear about.

“Kakashi-sensei?” She croaked. She could feel tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, burning her lash line and a knot forming in her throat. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

He paused, hand reaching for the knob of the exit. “Of course, Sakura.”

“Take care of my parents for me, please.” Sakura blinked rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes, the pain in her arm dulled to a numb sensation. If she hadn’t lost all of the nerves in it, she would count it as a blessing, even if she deserved it. “Without me, I don’t think they…”

“Don’t worry.” Kakashi ruffled her hair with a playful hand. It wasn’t quite as effective as it had been when it was shorter, but she could feel the affection within it besides. “I’ll watch over them, Sakura, I promise you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, and he pushed open the door, sunlight spearing through the crack and enveloping her in its oppressive warmth once more.

That night, if Kakashi had any complaints about Sakura sneaking into his room and hugging him tightly, sobs wracking her lithe frame for the first time in months, he didn’t say anything. If she noticed him hug her back, tears running delicate rivers down the striped pillowcase he laid his head on, she gave no indication, pouring her soul out for possibly the last time in the safety of the arms of someone she loved.

Dawn broke, and with it, so did the remnants of Kakashi’s heart.

prologue | masterlist | 二 (ni)

[razorblade180]

The NaruSaku post

@perfectkidalienpatrol asked me a two questions a couple weeks ago one about restructuring Kingdom Hearts DDD and 3 to be more emotional which you find right here < [it took time, please read. Also leave a reply on this one because it also took way too much time. Thank you 😅]

The second question is about how I would write NaruSaku, which is this post. [I rewatched 60 percent of Naruto Shippuden for this. I’m not playing games here.]

I’m gonna follow the same rules I did for KH more or less. I’m not changing 90% of any major events just certain people surrounding it and I’ll add stuff that’s not unreasonable. Most of the things I’m about to say is gonna be from Sakura’s perspective since Naruto is already in love with her and have a good of his feelings towards her. I’d also like to take a moment and say I’m a person who doesn’t believe Sakura is weak or useless, but she’s sorely underused. What makes this bad is her screen time is almost always to make others around her have more of an effect or her doing something stupid because plot. Okay, let’s get the big stuff out of the way first that lays the ground work.

Part 1 of Naruto is unchanged. (Rip Sakura, she’s still of no use here.)

The start of Shippuden, all the way up to Pain is basically the same. The thing about NaruSaku is there’s plenty of ground work in the show. The series definitely shows Sakura warming up and caring about Naruto in a variety of ways. The entire blueprint is there, Kishimoto just decided to go with Hinata.

During the Rasenshuriken training, Kakashi grabs the food pill basket from Sakura and tells her stay. Since Naruto’s training is more trial by fire and repetition, Kakashi uses his free time to train Sakura. Combat, a little ninjitsu, even tricks about genjutsu and things he’s learned about sharingan. (You know, sensei stuff)

Neji will live for obvious reasons.

Okay, so my whole thought process really starts at the point in the show where Sakura falsely tells Naruto that she loves him. At this point, the show has given tons of scenes of Sakura healing Naruto, defending the way he is, acknowledged his growth, and has him as a strong motivator do whatever she can whenever she can. All while being emotionally torn because of her love for Saskue and being faced with the reality that Naruto has been in love with her forever. The scene plays out the same with Naruto not believing her and the Saskue murder team leaving. Sakura doesn’t let it show she is deeply conflicted about telling that lie. Was it a lie? It certainly wasn’t completely truthfully. Her thoughts and feelings on Naruto had been rapidly changing and confusing her little by little since he returned to the village. All she was certain of was that Naruto was a person that had become very important to her and she didn’t want to cause him any more suffering.

Fast forwarding to Sakura encountering Saskue, the encounter is only different by Sakura confessing her honest feelings to him right on the iron bridge, telling him how she’ll join his side if he can’t find it in himself to stop being a criminal. She’s unknowingly under a genjutsu that’s letting Sakura see him in front of her, pretending to care about this conversation while he’s actually about to chidori her from behind. Sakura catches on to the trick a bit too late but was fortunately saved by Kakashi. Naruto eventually shows up, the fight happens, and we get the scene where Naruto tells Saskue that they well both die the next time they fight. Two very important things come out of this entire event. The first is Sakura’s feelings for Saskue are now shattered after he tried to kill her twice, while the other thing is Sakura’s fear of Naruto’s prediction coming true.

We get back to the village and everyone starts going their separate ways except for Naruto and Sakura, because she tells him to stay back for a moment. She takes this moment to apologize to him for what she said. The guilt about the entire thing builds more and more as she continues her apology until Sakura gets so frustrated with her own actions, or lack of action. Naruto interrupts her apology before she got too far gone into self loathing and sorrow and tells her that it’s okay. Yes, his promise is a big reason for motivating him but Naruto is also in it for himself and tries to lift some of the guilt Sakura has for all of this. In the process he ends up mentioning just how much she actually does for everyone, especially him; which only makes her feel more conflicted about everything since all of his feelings are on the table clearly for her. Sakura mentally decides she having such a kind person like him always supporting her was something she wasn’t close to being worthy of, so she would strive to be that person. Sakura decides to do one more selfish act though, she asks Naruto to stay alive through all of this. Naruto simply looks at the girl that is clearly concerned about all of this and says yes, despite not knowing just how sure he can keep this promise.

At this point in the anime there’s a lot of war preparations. In one scene there’s Sakura looking at photos of the gruesome tragedies that she should expect to see as a medical ninja. A head nurse also explains how sometimes you have to prioritize who to save. Sakura then thinks to herself in a crazy circumstance where both Naruto and Saskue are fatally wounded, who would she rush to? I’m keeping this scene but giving it new context. This thought plagues her mind not because of love, but because desire. Sakura hates to admit it but she still very much hates the idea of Saskue dying. Like Naruto, she very much wants him to come back, regardless of the heartache she feels whenever she thinks about the boy who barely gave a damn. But Sakura also has made the goal to do all she can to support Naruto the right way and the thought of leaving him to die is ludicrous. Sakura shakes off the crazy thought and focuses on the task at hand. None of those ideas matter if she can’t get stronger. I like the idea of her hitting a rut someone like Ino or Shizune coming to her aid since Tsunade is busy. One of the women reinvigorates her drive by telling Sakura how Naruto is probably pushing himself to the limit as they speak. [Nine tails is beating him up] Not just for his friends, but for the world. Sakura takes that to heart, protecting everyone is the bar, not just Naruto and her friends. Sakura decides now would be a good time and take a step back, going off to train by herself until it was actually time to head into war. Kakashi would personally be the one to get her when that time came, surprised to see a very specific part of their previous training had gotten much better along with her chakra control.

On the Naruto side of things, all the same events happen. The only thing I would add for my own personal amusement would be Naruto mentioning Sakura to his mom and how they’re similar, but Sakura has no interest in him. Kushina laughs and tells him if Sakura really is anything like herself then Naruto can’t be too sure of anything until it happens. He doesn’t understand that all but nods anyways.

War starts! All the cool fights happen and the filler. All of this is same obviously because so much is going on, including injuries. Naruto eventually joins the war and sends his clones to help everywhere. The location where Sakura is stationed is under severe condition, to the point it’s about to fall apart. Injured ninja and attacks have relentlessly assaulted the place in one form or another and the medics are running on fumes. Sakura herself is barely hanging on as another wave of injured people are in desperate need of healing. Supplies are diminished to almost nothing, staff has gotten hurt, and more white zetsu were said to be headed their way. Sakura took a moment to look at the chaos of war. The overwhelming feeling of it, the pain, how everything just kept going until something gave out. She was about to give out. Her body exhausted from being up for days treating people was finally catching up with her mind in thinking about shutting down, until she thought about Naruto. She wasn’t sure why she did, but he popped into her head, as well as the numerous times he’s pushed passed the breaking point to the finish line. Then she remembered his praise about her and her vow to catch up with him. Not yet, she couldn’t be done yet. Not while there was still everyone to protect. Sakura rallied the people she could to both attack and defend what they had left. Somehow, through all the madness, the injured had been treated and another wave was taken out. More had to be done and all who were able to move were more than willing to help the ninja that had saved their life. Unfortunately, a zetsu had snuck into the ranks and was heading right for Sakura who was far to tired to defend herself from the attack she saw coming. If she got hurt then it was game over for this unit and her, now that they had basically nothing. Sakura should’ve died on the spot but a Naruto clone had finally arrived in the nick of time, beating the zetsu in an instant. Sakura couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her body gives out and Naruto catches her in a similar way Minato catches Kushina. Naruto tells everyone how awesome it was that they held out so long and they rightfully give Sakura a majority of the credit. Naruto starts to tell her how amazing that is but she passes out. He simply chuckles and tells all of them to follow her lead. He’ll step in now and let them rest. It’s his turn to protect everyone.

The next time the show cuts back to this location is when reports of Naruto clones suddenly vanishing after many tremors and explosions have happened, giving Sakura an uneasy feeling. Minutes later word reaches them that the real Naruto is fighting the masked man and Madara. Many ninja from everywhere go ready to race off to this final battle. Sakura’s had the chance to rest and is ready to give her all in any way she can, along with so many others.

[Cool shit happens! The allied shinobi force appears!]

Neji gets injured protecting Hinata and Naruto, bringing him right to deaths door and nobody is around to help him. Naruto looks around to see all the death and destruction that leads to Obito into giving his speech. So basically I just changed this scene from Neji being dead, to Neji dying and having to be left there; causing everyone to simply accept that they have to press on and that Neji isn’t going to make it. We still get the moment of Hinata snapping Naruto out of despair and Kakashi’s elaboratetion on his meaning behind the statement “I will not allow my comrades to die.” That way we still get Kurama motivating Naruto, causing Naruto to snap Lee out of his despair and then outcome plays out like it usually does; the people rallying to attack the ten tails again with the Nine Tails Power given to them. Naruto spends up all his chakra protecting everyone and gets badly injured. I had forgotten Sakura literally gave a speech to motivate ninja to do their best protecting him while she healed him, so that was nice to see.

The Hokage show up. People are hyped. Minato asks Naruto if that’s his girlfriend, to which Naruto says yes like the goofy fool he is. Sakura still hits him for it, but blushes. Minato clearly sees a lot of Kushina in Sakura, but says vocally, instead of in his head. Naruto thinks about his conversation with his mom. Sakura just tries to stay focus.

Tiny Rant-I can’t wrap my head around why this scene actually exists. This happens after Neji’s death, a cornerstone event that pushes NaruHina greatly. Why would Kishimoto almost immediately swing back in the exact opposite direction! It paints the picture that while Naruto is extremely grateful for Hinata’s actions, Sakura is still the only girl he is interested in! Neji died for NaruHina like five minutes ago!

Saskue shows up like a cool guy. We get the moment of Naruto telling Sakura to stay back after he’s fully healed; to which Sakura tells both of them how that’s not gonna happen. Team 7 is back! Another moment I don’t have to change because the show flat out shows how happy Sakura is to be standing next to the two most important men her life. She’s by their side and fighting, they don’t feel out of reach. Sakura has her team back for once and is protecting everyone thanks to Tsunade’s training. Finally, things feet right. Until they don’t.

The battle progresses naturally. Eventually the Kagoshima show up, Obito becomes a Jinjuriki, Madara is being terrible, etc. Things are spiraling out of hand pretty quickly but everyone keeps pushing as hard as they can. Then the worst happens, the crazy scenario Sakura didn’t think was possible has suddenly became reality. She feels both Naruto and Saskue’s chakra fade away, they’re down. Madara has taken both of them down. However, now isn’t time to despair on that fact. Every second matters. Two people, fatally injured, only enough time save one. The one she promised to protect to protect, or the one she desired to come back home. Time feels like it’s come to a stand still. Sakura didn’t want to imagine a world without either of them, then it hits her instantly. Sakura has been living in a world without Saskue for years now, but Naruto, the agony of a world without him gives her an immense sorrow in her heart she refused to ever feel again. It was the same sorrow she felt when Saskue left that night years ago. The sorrow of the one you love leaving you. Sakura realizes that she does in fact love Naruto, and she isn’t about to let it fade. She will keep her promise. Sakura rushes to go save him, fearing she’s wasted enough time as it is. In actually, Sakura had made that decision in less than second. She had been running his way the moment his chakra stopped.

With the help of Gaara and Minato, Sakura is managed to save Naruto. Minato has been watching the worry the girl tried to hide and stared again how much she was like Kushina. He then thanks her for looking after his son. Sakura corrects him, giving Minato thanks for bringing someone who cares so much about her and support her into this world, despite the many slip ups and pain she has inflicted on Naruto. Minato tells her that he didn’t have to be around long to know his son must feel same sentiment towards her, if not greater. They get informed that Saskue has been recovered and receiving medical aid. Sakura feels a weight lift from her shoulders. Both of them, she still in a world with both of them.

[More craziness happens! Night Guy!!!!!! All the hype stuff!]

Naruto and Saskue are back in action! Naruto save Guy, then he gives Kakashi an eye. Everyone is impressed, but not as impressed as the moment he senses that Neji isn’t dead yet and heals him to the point he’ll live; Neji is still completely out of commission though, but it’ll be quite the surprise for Hinata, her father, and Team Guy.

More of the same stuff happens all the way up and through Kaguya. Sakura gets a little bit of emotional whiplash by Saskues actions. One minute he’s looking out for himself, the next he’s actually saves her from a threat. It’s a very confusing couple of minutes. It’s welcomed though, it’s like old times. Things just might get back to some since of it in Sakura’s eyes.

[He is so rude! Still love him though.]

Now we’re gonna skip to after Kaguya is beaten. Team 7 has saved the world. Now they just have to release the people, except Saskue is still on his nonsense. Naruto confronts Saskue about his plan to kill the Kage. Sakura could feel her heart sink. They were going to fight again. If that happened then Naruto’s prediction might come true, they would die. Naruto would die. Sakura couldn’t stand still and ran in between the two unexpectedly. Sakura pleaded to Saskue to just stop for once in his life. That if he ever cared about her and Naruto in any form, then the fighting would stop here; reminding him of what Naruto said about dying. Saskue takes a step closer and Sakura’s tearfully eyes hardened. This wasn’t going to be like last time. Sakura wasn’t going to hesitate to use force and Saskue could tell. “You really are annoying.” He says before activating a genjutsu, but it doesn’t work on her. This was it, the exact thing her training with Kakashi and by herself had been about. Constant days of intense chakra control and being trapped in various visual genjutsu that Sakura had to learn resist/breakout of. Saskue had made his answer clear, but Sakura refused to let him dismiss her like that and charged at him. She knew she was outmatched. She knew that there was only so much she could actually do against him, but that wasn’t going to stop her from trying. Sakura was going to stand up properly to Saskue and give everything she had to prevent an unavoidable fight. The fire in her was immense, but the fight was over in no time, ending with Saskue knocking her out from behind like when he first left her behind. Naruto was pissed and Kakashi rushed to her. All that effort and pleading from someone who wanted nothing more than to be by her comrades, tossed to the side like a leaf in the wind. The final confrontation had begun. Naruto vs Saskue.

[One exceptional fight 10/10 fight later]

Sakura has woken up and is racing to the Final Valley in absolute terror, along with Kakashi behind her. He didn’t show it but he was fearing the worst as well. He could see tears fly off of Sakura as she took off. Her mind was flooding and rejecting thoughts all at once the whole way there. All she wanted was the reality of the outcome. Whatever it was, she’d have to face it. What she faced was a miracle. The ability to save both of her friends who were definitely battered and broken, but alive. The fighting was finally over. Saskue apologized to her, noticing just how angry she stil was through her tearfully relieved expression. Sakura told him to shut up. The emotional rollercoaster she was dealing with was crazy enough as it is.

Fast forward to Team 7 at the Hidden Leaf Gate to see Saskue leave. Instead of Sakura asking to join, she walks up to him with confidence, giving both a playful and serious attitude. She holds her fist out and taps his chest. “Get into trouble and I’ll stand in your way again to knock the sense back into you.” Naruto’s jaw drops hearing that. Saskue smile then flicks her forehead. “Still annoying, thank you.” Sakura can’t help but smile back. Naruto gives Saskue his old headband and then the man sets off.

Naruto lets out a huge sigh as he walks back into the village with Sakura. He feels exhausted from the whole legal experience but there was more things to be done, but first, he was starving. He started waving goodbye to Sakura until she asks to go too, offering to pay. Naruto was shocked. His ears had to be playing tricks. He turned back around to see Sakura not directly looking at his face but she clearly talking to him. He could tell her face was a little pink too. “You know, like a date...” Sakura said, walking past him. Naruto stood motionless for a couple of seconds before catching up with her. “How about we go halfies?” Naruto asked. He had asked this same question when he asked her on a ramen date so long ago. Sakura remembers this and can’t help but giggle. The fact that she had rejected such a gesture before was embarrassing to say the least, now it was too her benefit and it was still dumb. The more things change, the more they stay the same. “It’s a date.”

The the tail end of the show where time skips gives us how they continued to grow closer and do these little dates until the moment Sakura tells Naruto that she loves him one moonlit night by the training field or academy swing. This time those words are real, and Naruto gets emotional because he finally gets to say those words back, their promises fulfilled. The final episode is their marriage. The start of their new and strongest promise to each other.

There, I’m done. In summary, what if Sakura stopped liking a person because they tried killing her and everyone she cared about. You know, sane people stuff. She’s a smart girl with critical thinking skills and able to blossom in many areas in her life, and yet the series didn’t let her fully exlpore or evolve it in the one area that arguably mattered the most. How her relationships with Naruto and Saskue. They left it one note even though many scenes and articles point into the direction of her affection towards Naruto was growing. They even paralleled her with Kushina. It’s so weird to lay all that ground if that isn’t the route. Those moments of romantic growth could’ve gone to Hinata, the one with nearly zero interaction throughout the series. I can only think of four scenes, two of them being in part 1 of Naruto. It’s weird.

Side note:If anyone is having a hard time believing Sakura could learn a way to resist genjutsu, Deidara did it with one of his eyes to deal with Itachi, and also didn’t fall of Saskue’s. You can not convince me Sakura wouldn’t learn a way, someone with far more control and an affinity for that kind of thing. Especially with the help of Kakashi. Also it’s just very thematic that the two people Saskue wanted to push away the most, could see right through him and render one of his major things useless.

[kuriquinn]

Wait For Me

Blanket Fic Disclaimer

Original Prompt by: @toscafan

"Olá. Você poderia escrever uma fic onde após Sasuke voltar para a vila, Sakura vai em uma missão e é gravemente ferida. Então Sasuke percebe que seus sentimentos por ela cresceram quando ele a vê ferida no hospital. Talvez com um pouco de Naruto preocupado também. Eu imagino isso entre o período que Sasuke volta para Konoha e antes de eles partirem juntos em suas viagens. Suas histórias são maravilhosas :) eu sinto muito não escrever em inglês :( “

[Roughly:  Hello, Could you write a fic where after Sasuke returns to the village, Sakura goes on a mission and is seriously injured. Then Sasuke realises that his feelings for her have grown when he sees her injured in the hospital. Maybe with a bit of Naruto worried too. I imagine it between the time Sasuke returns to Konoha and before they leave together on their travels.]

Author’s Note: As promised during Evil Author Day, I am trying to finish some of my WIPs. I actually managed to finish this one (Prompt # 4), which is a total miracle given how I’ve been feeling lately. And the fact I think this one is like...two years old. So yeah, major backlog of stuff that needs writing. Enjoy!

Beta Reader: None but me and my editing software :)

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⁂ ⁂ ⁂

It shouldn’t have happened.

The words repeat themselves on a loop in Sasuke’s head, like a record player tossed asunder, skipping unerringly back over the same line in a song. In every momentary pause where the words begin to repeat, there is a breath, an extended moment of tension where his chest feels tighter and tighter.

She hasn’t been on active duty rosters since the war. Her field is medicine, not defense or combat or infiltration, and as strong and talented as Haruno Sakura is, she’s still human and prone to mistakes. Shinobi work isn’t like riding a bike. You have to continue to exercise your particular skillset daily, or mistakes can be made, leading to mishaps, leading to—

It shouldn’t have happened.

サスサク

When the call came in for a relief-force of medicnin, it wasn’t unusual. War or no, there are still major medical emergencies and disasters. In this case, reports reached Konoha of an earthquake 350 miles away. Though the village had barely experienced a tremor, the quake had apparently devastated the shepherding community living at the base of the mountain.

As a rule, Sakura should have stayed behind to coordinate everything from the village; with Tsunade on another of her gambling jaunts, she was the most senior healer.

But the devastated town was without its own medical corps, and the number of injured was overwhelming. Every able pair of hands was needed and naturally, Sakura volunteered herself for the mission.

“I can do the work of a dozen medics and they might need someone to lift debris,” she informed the Sixth Hokage when he seemed likely to protest. “I also trained the latest group of emergency medics going out there; they’re still relatively untested in the field. Better they take their orders from me than some random jounin that you assign.”

Kakashi knew better than to argue with his former student, but he was reluctant. For some reason, he was uneasy. There was little reason for it that he could discern, but after all his years as a shinobi, he had learned to heed his instincts.

“Please, Lord Sixth, there are many large families there, with children.”

Against that—with no concrete reason to give—he could not say no.

“Do you need anyone else beyond the emergency medics?”

“Any civilians with basic first aid training,” Sakura replied, pleased at the response. “Whichever doctors and staff can be spared. The general surgeons, perhaps, but no one with specialized training or technique that we would supper from losing.”

Kakashi nodded and made a gesture she recognized to mean an official granting of the request.

“Ideally, you’d send Naruto as well. He could use the Nine-Tails chakra to mass-heal the simplest injuries. It would make triage a lot faster.”

“That’s not in my power. I’m already on thin ice with the Elders for my executive order to pardon Sasuke. I doubt they’ll want him leaving the village any time soon.”

Sakura scowled.

Under normal circumstances she would argue—she had long ago made clear her dislike  and distrust for the village Elders—but every minute spent arguing was wasting crucial time.

“Can you try to convince them?” she asked as she turned to leave the office. “We should be sending out best for this.”

“We already are,” Kakashi said with ease, and there was a smile in his eyes. The one Sakura returned was only a little strained, mind already on her future patients.

サスサク

Sasuke was on a short, probationary mission at the time, in the complete opposite direction from the disaster zone. He didn’t even hear about the earthquake until two days later.

While handing his mission report to Kakashi, he may have been somewhat surprised to learn Sakura would not be around to greet him the way she usually did—and Kakashi’s eyes had a far too knowing gleam in them when he mentioned it—but it never occurred to Sasuke that she would be in any kind of danger.

At least, nothing she wasn’t capable of handling for herself.

For those two days, Sasuke carried out his usual routine, slowly acclimating to being back in service to the village. It still wasn’t his preference to be around so many people, and there was a constant sense of discomfort that lingered at the back of his mind. The sensation of eyes on him from all over, ANBU and civilian alike, heavy with judgement and fear. The only time that feeling abated, even for just a little, was when he was around Sakura, Naruto or Kakashi.

Still, he wasn’t willing or able to seek any of them out. They all have busy lives, and he earned that judgement and fear from the village. It would be an easy feat to leave and never return, but he didn’t deserve easy. Remaining here was part of his punishment, and so he would learn to live with it.

At home, when the constant surveillance became too much, he went to an empty training ground and put himself through various sword forms or engage in other exercises. In two years, he’s grown used to living and fighting with only one arm, but it’s the constant practice that keeps him lethal.

On the morning of the third day he is going through one of his complex sword kata in the training ground where Kakashi made them genin. He tells himself it’s coincidence and not sentimentality that brought him here this morning, even as the three posts stand vigil over his training like towers of memory.

Today he is working only on form and movement, not using any techniques requiring chakra, just trying to sharpen his movements into their usual lethal grace.

As he uncoils from a low final arc of his sword, returning to a resting position, there is a sudden cracking noise; his gaze snaps toward it, and he watches as—apropos of nothing—the wooden post to his far right splits right down the middle.

Sasuke immediately goes still, focussing his awareness around himself and the area, scanning for danger. There is no one in this place foolish enough to try something—even if he wasn’t lethal on his own, the ANBU escorts hidden in the shadows would have been alerted.

The wind continues meander, sending leaves rustling; the sound of birds and the distant crash of the river do not change. There is not threat that he can detect, nothing but a growing sense of foreboding.

And then the ground begins to shake.

As far as earthquakes go, it’s not the worst he’s experienced. He has no problem remaining on his feat as the ground roils and trembles. Even the trees surrounding him show no sign of shuddering.

It’s small and innocuous, nothing on the same level as the one Sakura was sent to help with.

His eyes drift, lingering on the cracked post.

Memory conjures an image of a gawky twelve year old with too-long-to-be-practical hair and luminous green eyes betraying strain and discomfort as she feeds their third teammate tied to the middle post.

It’s probably nothing.

But for some reason his focus on his exercises vanishes, replaced instead with a growing disquiet in the pit of his stomach.

It only grows with every moment as he returns to the village proper and, without knowing why, makes a beeline for Hokage Tower. All around him, people talk excitedly about the tremor, laughing it off and telling one another what they were doing when they noticed it. It’s just a facet of their day, something that—while uncommon—is not dangerous enough to merit panic.

So why does he suddenly feel uneasy?

サスサク

Sasuke arrives at the Tower at the same time as Naruto, a face which causes his inexplicable agitation to ratchet immediately higher, especially given his friend’s uncharacteristic frown and the absence of his usual joking greeting.

Without exchanging words, they enter Kakashi’s office and are immediately treated to the sight of their former instructor pacing by the window, a frown drawing his brows together. The coiled cord of the telephone stretches and relaxes with his back-and-forth movements. It’s so in contrast to his usual demeanor—lazily slouched in his chair—that Sasuke’s spine stiffens in response.

Kakashi eventually hangs up the phone and faces his students.

“There was a second earthquake,” he tells them gravely. “Right next to the refugee camp we set up. According to reports, about 180 million tons of mountainside have crumble down onto the camp. They don’t know if there are any survivors.”

Sasuke’s fist clenches and Naruto’s eyes blink into slits as he activates his senjutsu.

“I can’t sense Sakura’s chakra,” he says, a panicked note in his voice. “Usually I get a definite flicker from her, even at this distance…”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Sasuke tells him. “She masks her chakra when she’s on medical missions to avoid presenting a target.”

He’s not sure how he knows this, since he can’t recall if she mentioned any such practice in their conversations since he’s been back, yet he knows it to be true. Still, this knowledge brings no comfort with it, because the uncomfortable pit in his stomach remains.

“She would be healing everyone after a huge disaster like that,” Naruto protests. “I’d definitely sense that. But I can’t.”

Which, admittedly, worries Sasuke a little despite his unshakable faith in Sakura’s abilities.

Naruto turns to Kakashi, his shoulders squared as if in preparation for a fight. “I’m going to check on her. Even if she’s fine, they’ll need help digging survivors out. I can definitely help with that.”

“Fine,” Kakashi says. The fact he doesn’t argue or mention the concerns of the Elders is telling. “If you leave now, you should get there within—”

Sasuke doesn’t stay to listen.

He’s already climbing the stairs to the roof where there is more open space.

He is by no means an expert at using his Rinnegan yet—every day heralds a new ability or application—but he has more or less figured out how to travel between far distant locations instantly.

“Oi! Sasuke! Wait up!” Naruto shouts from behind as Sasuke focusses himself on creating a pathway. He glanced the coordinates he needs on the papers covering Kakashi’s desk, knows where he’s supposed to go—

The space in front of him crackles, displacing the air, and then rips open, forming a portal of swirling violet energy. On the other side, he can discern a giant wall of rubble.

He wastes no time slipping through, trusting Naruto to follow directly behind him.

サスサク

The sight before them is a grim one.

Sasuke hasn’t seen destruction on this scale since the war.

Mountains loom around them, the closest one looking misshapen due to the giant shelf that has vanished as if scraped off with a giant chisel. Its remnants spill out in front of it, creating a smaller mountain of churned earth and rock, uprooted trees and other debris.

People gather around, civilian and shinobi alike, covered in dust and digging frantically at the rubble. Likely the lucky few who were far enough away when the second quake hit to avoid the harm.

There are almost no Konohanin, medicnin or otherwise, that he can see, suggesting a grim truth to him: they are all underneath the remains of the mountain. Dead, most likely, or trapped and dying as the seconds pass.

But where is Sakura?

She could survive being buried under such weight, and should have dug her way out by now. Stone and rock are like cottage cheese to her strong fists.

“Naruto!”

The two newcomers glance up as a Konohanin scrambles toward them. As he gets closer, Sasuke recognizes him as the kid Sakura has taken on as an assistant. Ando something or other.

“We need help!” the kid gasps when he arrives in front of them, dust-covered and exhausted. “We can’t shift the earth using doton because it could hurt the people underneath.”

The jinchuriki is already forming the signs to summon up shadow clones. If this has to b cleared by hand, he’s the best man for the job. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo.”

“We’ll get through this without a problem!”

“Believe it!”

The clones are already spreading out across the landscape, like a sea of orange washing over the scene.

Sasuke stares down at the boy. “Where is Sakura?”

Ando goes pale beneath the fine layer of dust, eyes pained. “When the earthquake stared, she was trying to get everyone in the medical tents to safety. When she realized she couldn’t, she tried to create barriers to stop the worst of the damage using doton. But it was coming on too fast, and so she tried to slow down the avalanche—"

“Of course she did,” Sasuke murmurs to himself, teeth gritted.

“—but it wasn’t enough! The last I saw, she was destroying the rocks coming at her, but then she was buried.”

“And where were you in all this?”

There’s an accusation in his words that has made stronger men tremble, but Ando merely shudders and clenches his fists. No shrinking violets working with Sakura, that’s for sure.

“I was on water duty. The rivers here were all polluted by the first quake, and so I had to travel far. I saw it all from that cliff up there and hurried down here as fast as I could to help, but…”

He gestures ineffectively, clearly not knowing where to start.

“Sasuke!” Naruto yells all of a sudden, and Sasuke’s head whips toward where he is helping a woman with shredded clothing to climb from the rubble. She is remarkably stable on her feet, considering the situation, and Sasuke understands a moment later when he sees the white creature attached to her shoulder.

“Lady Katsuyu!” Ando cries and hurries over, followed closely by SAsuke.

“Where’ Sakura?” Naruto demands as the younger boy helps the quake victim to sit down. “Is she okay?”

“She’s at the very bottom,” Katsuyu says fretfully. “There’s an airpocket and she’ll still have air for a little while, but she’s gravely injured. Her entire lower body is crushed.” Sasuke’s heart constricts painfully. “I tried to help, but she insisted I attach myself to all the refugees, to keep them alive until help arrives. I fear she won’t be able to keep it up very long. Even my healing can’t save the people buried so long without oxygen.”

“Little fool,” Sasuke growls, the viciousness of the words surprising him more than the situation. Of course she’s more worried about the survival of her patients and the others instead of herself.

“We’re getting her out,” Naruto declares, summoning more clones. “We’ll get her and everyone else out!”

And Sasuke finds himself hoping this is another miracle that his friend’s mere presence and stubbornness will help pull off.

 サスサク

The task is arduous and time consuming.

Sasuke is bizarrely conscious of the speed at which the time passes—too fast. They continue dragging survivors out from beneath the rubble—all unharmed, but looking more and more shambled as the rescue efforts reach deeper into the rubble. Every so often, there is a red glow, and the unearth another person being Naruto has managed to sense and enfold in his healing chakra cloak.

Sasuke uses his snake summons for the first time in years, sending them from his sleeve to slither around and crush rocks blocking their path. He digs one-handed while Naruto and the clones make quick work of their chosen debris fields.

They have yet to find Sakura, or a person that as died of their injuries; all of them so far have had a miniature clone of Lady Katsuyu attached somewhere on their bodies.

Yet he can’t sense Sakura.

“Her chakra signature is everywhere,” he frets. “She’s channelling it through Katsuyu to keep everyone alone. I can’t get a proper read on her.”

“And you won’t,” Lady Katsuyu says in a tremulous tone. “The byakugou has disengaged—her strength has finally run out.” She shudders. “We’re too far away. There’s no way we’ll make it to her in time. And I can only linger here a few minutes longer without her sustaining me.”

“We’ll make it!” Naruto growls, tone and eyes harsh like that of a cornered fox. There’s a panic there, belying his words, because he clearly has no idea how they’re going to do that.

It’s that panic more than anything so far that makes Sasuke’s guts roil and a sickening nausea of fear well up within him. Because Naruto never gives up, he always has hope and he always has some kind of harebrained plan to fix a bad situation.

And if he doesn’t have one in this case, it means Sakura’s fate is sealed.

Which—

No.

“You have a clone with Sakura now?” he asks Katsuyu.

“O-of course,” the snail replies, almost surprised at being addressed so directly.

“You can share your chakra between one another. Can you share the chakra of someone else the same way?”

Naruto’s eyes widen as he catches on. “Yes! If I share my chakra with you and your clone, I’ll able to sense where your clone is and we can find Sakura faster.”

“We don’t have that kind of time,” Lady Satsuyu replies mournfully. “And besides, I can’t share your chakra, Naruto-kun. The chakra of biju is too volatile, and unless a blood contract has been made, like yours with the toads, it would become too volatile.”

“You wouldn’t need a contract with me,” Sasuke says. “My chakra is entirely my own.”

The slug’s head bobs to one side in consideration, and then she makes a noise of assent. “We can try.”

Sasuke holds out his hand, allowing Lady Katsuyu to inch closer, pressing herself up against his palm. There’s a beat of tense silence as they both concentrate, Sasuke infusing a burst of chakra in the tiny creature’s body.

She shudders from the force of it, her energy signature changing to a mixture of her own and his.

“It’s done,” she says, and he can feel a tiny twinge in his senses calling from far beneath the crumbled mountain.

Sasuke nods and begins to back away from the rubble. “Get beneath her.”

“I don’t understand,” Ando is saying. “How will that be any different from before? Lady Katsuyu was already able to direct us to Sakura.”

“He’s not just looking for Sakura’s location,” Naruto says with a grim smile. “He needs to know exactly where she is.”

“But why—?”

Sasuke tunes out the useless questions as he positions himself somewhere with a decent amount of clearance all around him. Bracing himself—he’s never tried this particular gambit before—he activates the Sharingan and reaches deep within his chakra reserves.

Instantly, violent purple energy manifests, bones and muscle and armor, as Susanoo encompasses him all around. The burning, ripping pain of it has almost become distant by now, and he focusses past it, still holding onto that shred of his chakra beckoning him from wherever Sakura is.

He turns his head, concentrating on the space in front of Susanoo’s empty right hand and activates the Rinnegan.

A portal twists into being from thin air, and Sasuke hardly waits before raising Susanoo’s hand and pressing the limb through the portal. He can distantly feel the weight of her against the flat of the hand as it materializes directly beneath her body, and then pulls her backward, shutting the portal immediately after extracting her to ensure none of the rubble baring down on her might follow.

As gentle as he can, Sasuke lays Sakura down upon the ground, Susanoo vanishing as her body touches the earth.

サスサク

Everyone is already kneeling around her when Sasuke touches back down, the chakra giant vanishing once more. Lady Katsuyu vanishes, no longer having Sakura’s strength to draw on, and Naruto is snapping something at Ando, probably to get help.

All of it washes over Sasuke in a meaningless, soundless wave as his eyes fall upon Sakura. His lungs tighten as he takes in her broken body.

Her legs are bruised and battered, crushed inward in some places and bones poking out of other places; it’s the same for her hips and several ribs. Her eyes are open and staring, a trail of blood leaking from the corner of her mouth and nose.

The sight is terrifying.

For a short yet eternal moment he is back in the streets of the Uchiha district, surrounded by the bodies of his family. Just as he was then, he is frozen now—inutile and incapable of doing anything.

“Naruto…” he begins, not knowing exactly what he’s trying to ask.

“This is bad,” Naruto says, voice strained. His eyes are slits once more, his sage mode active as a red film covers Sakura’s body. “I can heal the big stuff, but so much has been pulverized…” He swallows as if in physical pain; Sasuke knows the feeling. “She needs someone that can do surgery at the microlevel. If I heal her right now, like this, I could do a lot more harm then good.”

It’s a measure of how far Naruto’s come that he recognizes this, that he knows not to simply ram through his power and hope it helps.

Sasuke doesn’t know what will help now.

Scenarios and plans speed through a mind more suited for battle tactics than life-saving measures, as he tries to think of any way that he can help her and wishing for the first time in a long time that Karin were here.

Wishing he had ever taken the time to learn more about the healing arts than how to kill.

All the while, the sight of Sakura’s shattered limbs taunting him as her blood seeps into the sand.

Sasuke blinks.

Sand.

The memory hits him out of nowhere, the way many of his recollections from before do. Waking in a hospital, distantly hearing people talking about a fight—sand versus strength.

“Tsunade,” Sasuke says, remembering how the Fifth Hokage dealt with something similar. Right around the time she healed his mind from Itachi’s merciless assault on it, she saved Rock Lee from a life of paralysis.

Naruto is frowning, once again on the same wavelength as him. “No one knows where she is.”

“I’ll find her. Get Sakura back to Konoha—”

“No…”

Both of them jump at the pained, feeble voice and glance down.

Sakura’s eyes are closed now, clenched as tight as her jaw when she speaks through gritted teeth. “There are still…people…” She tries to raise a hand, gesture toward the rubble. “Naruto…stay and…help…”

“Sakura, no!” he snaps. “You’re in a mess right now, I need to keep you going until—”

“…Too much…damage…wasting your…chakra…”

“Sakura,” Sasuke says tersely, and her eyes shoot open toward him. Awareness flickers behind green irises, along with some surprise, as if she didn’t realize or expect him to be there.

“Sasu…ke…”

He shivers.

There has never been a time in his life when he and Sakura haven’t been aware of the presence of the other. The fact she didn’t notice him is telling in the severity of her injury…as is her not expecting him to be by her side.

After all, when has he ever been?

What has he ever done for her?

“We have to get her out of here,” Naruto says. “Do you have enough strength for another portal?”

Sasuke nods, though he isn’t sure; he’s used his abilities twice now in quick succession. But for Sakura, he’ll try.

The space beside them rips open, once more opening onto the familiar rooftops of Konoha as seen from Hokage Tower. All they need to do is step through, and so Naruto goes to pick Sakura up, only for her to scream in sudden sharp agony.

Sasuke’s heart stutters, his concentration wavering slightly, allowing the portal to shrink and contract worryingly.

“She’s too hurt,” Naruto says, panicked. “We need to keep her on her back or…I might sever something important.”

There are no stretchers here, no immobilizing aids to move her. If he had any idea where Tsunade Senju was, he’d seek her out and return her here instantly, but he doesn’t have that time and neither does Sakura.

“I’ll bring her,” Sasuke says.

“But—”

“You stay here. Help the survivors.”

There’s something on his face that keeps Naruto from arguing further, but Sasuke is no longer paying attention. Once again, he centers himself, trying to divide his power between the portal and call up Susanoo in just the right manner.

It takes searing concentration to manifest Susanoo’s hand in the space between Sakura’s body and the ground, letting the chakra fill in beneath her and keep her steady and supine.

Sakura’s eyes are wide, trained on him in something like desperation, before they roll back and she lapses into unconsciousness.

Sasuke’s lungs constrict, but he forces himself to work through it, to slide Susanoo’s hand straight through the portal until Sakura is no longer lying among the debris of the dead but in the safety of their village.

Sweat breaks out across his forehead and the back of his neck, and he tastes blood in his mouth, but he manages to retract the chakra within him. He’s about to step through when—

“Wait!”

He grits his teeth, eyes darting back to the kid—Ando—who has returned.

“Let me come too,” he says. “I can keep her stable, or—or go get someone from the hospital, or—”

“Go!” Sasuke snarls, half from effort and half from irritation the boy is taking up valuable seconds.

A terrified expression breaks over Ando’s face for a moment, before he throws himself headlong through the portal.

“Find Tsunade,” Sasuke tells Naruto as he follows. He doesn’t have to hear the response to know he will.

サスサク

He has no right to be here.

The intensive care wing of Konoha’s hospital is a flurry of movement as doctors and nurses and medic-nin rush in and out of the surgery where they are working on Sakura. He lingers outside the doors, his own self-recrimination keeping him out here more than the ‘Staff Only’ sign on the door.

He doesn’t deserve to be here, to hear news of her condition. He left—he’s always leaving—and she’s always waiting. She’s always here and he realizes with a sudden disbelief that somehow, somewhere along the line something in him has taken that for granted.

Ever since the War, ever since watching her blossom into her abilities and to demonstrate power that makes her neigh indestructible, he’s been thinking of her as if she is. As if she’s a constant that will never change, that will always exist.

Like she’s immortal.

Except she’s not, she can die like anyone else.

It’s something taken for granted in their line of work, but medic-nin die the same as anyone else in the service. And Sakura would be the first to insist she is no more important than anyone else, that her life is the same value as any of their comrades. He knows if given the choice she’d sacrifice that same life without any regret—hell, he watched her try to do just that today.

That knowledge—and the reality of what is happening behind that door in front of him, the image of the light in her eyes dying—steals his breath.

Will that be his last memory of her? A broken body pulled from a wreckage?

Very real terror grips him then, something he hasn’t felt in years. A close, clawing sensation and his lungs constricting as something jagged forms in his throat. Nightmares of blood in the streets, blood in his hands and the rush of a waterfall in the background, the chirping of lightning in his ears—

“Sasuke.”

His head jerks up, the world around him returning, senses no longer going haywire to stave off the incoming panic.

Kakashi is standing beside him—when did he get here?—eyes somber. There’s a beat before he reaches out, hesitant, and lays a hand on his shoulder.

It’s as if a current is going through him, memories from long ago, that same hand on his shoulder. It’s the first time Kakashi has reached out to him since he left Konoha as a child.

“I’ve had news from Naruto,” his former instructor continues. “He’s found Tsunade.”

And somehow with those three words, every bit of tension in Sasuke’s body evaporates. He realizes he hasn’t been breathing and tries his best not to gulp for air, forces himself to inhale slowly through his nose, to not lose his composure.

Kakashi, of course, is not fooled. “Sakura will be alright. She’s strong.”

Sasuke wants to reply that he knows, he’s always known, but his tongue is still frozen. Instead, he returns his gaze upon the door, trying to sense what is happening beyond it.

He feels Kakashi remove his hand, but the man’s intense stare remains on him.

“I should go,” he eventually manages to say. Yet his legs refuse to move.

“You should stay. You’re exactly where you need to be.”

“I’m not—”

“You’re exactly where she needs you to be.”

Sasuke’s protest dies before it was truly born, and he goes back to trying to breath. Inhale and hold; exhale and repeat. It doesn’t matter what he needs or wants, after all.

Why?

Sakura is Sakura. Yes, they have always had a connection, a bond, but it’s the same connection he’s had with the rest of his former squad. You can’t go on missions or into battle with one another without developing a synchronicity. Even if the connections are different.

With Kakashi it’s the kindred spirit of someone who has lost everything almost the same as he has, with Naruto it’s a bond that can never be replicated for the most complicated of cosmic reasons.

And yet…with Sakura, there’s something different there.

He always thought it was nostalgia, the last lingering remnants of a weak child desperate for whatever scrap of affection was offered to him after losing his parents. Every moment he’s ever spent with her, he pretended like it didn’t affect him at all; and yet, there was always that eagerness he had to tamp down, wanting to see the smile on her face because he knew he didn’t deserve it.

A smile he missed in the years training with Orochimaru, then wandering the world in penance. He knows she’s had feelings for him since they were children, and has has spent most of his last years hoping against hope that she’ll let him go and move on.

That she’ll find someone else, someone worthy of her, someone who will keep her safe and guard her heart against pain. Because that’s all he can give her is pain; tht, and a soul that will never completely heal.

Except it wont matter, will it, if she dies?

She’ll be gone, and he’ll be empty again. No matter where he goes, he’s always known that somewhere, Sakura is out there, keeping him in her heart. He knows that even if she does find another, there will always be a part of her that thinks of him, just like he will always have a part of him that thinks of her.

But if she dies…if she doesn’t make it through this…

Suddenly he can see it.

Years stretch out in front of him, bleak and empty and gray. Visits to a gravestone of a life that could have been. Regrets and pain and an endless void of existing instead of living.

More of everything he endured as a child, only this time, without the tiny ray of sunlight that Sakura willingly gave him.

And suddenly, he realizes he doesn’t want that.

A world without Sakura in it, is not one that he wants to be a part of.

He wants her—needs her—to be happy. And if her happiness is him…if he could ensure that happiness somehow…

Well, he’ll do whatever it takes.

Sasuke takes a shuddering breath at the realization.

It feels sudden, like a switch has been flipped with realization, and yet at the same time he knows it has always been this way.  

He’s in love with Sakura.

The world returns then in sharp focus, ignorant to the realizations he’s just made. Kakashi is still eyeing him with concern. Perhaps wondering if he’s going to have to talk him out of leaving the hospital, even though Sasuke knows that he’s not going anywhere until he can watch her open her eyes again.

Until she smiles at him again.

Maybe not even then.

“I’ll wait for her then,” he says, shaken but still somehow managing to control the timbre of his voice. He leans against the wall, eyes once more resting on the door in expectation.

I’ll wait for her forever.

終わり

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[obsessionsdumpster]

A/N: sooooo idk what this is exactly, I just had an idea and decided to try and write my own fic for once though I’m not sure if it turned out good lol I think it’s a bit too long and I realised I don’t know how to write kissing scenes. Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think

A Ninja’s Day Off (Kakashi x reader)

(Y/N) stepped into the Hokage’s office, finding Tsunade sitting by her desk, a pile of books and important documents surrounding her.

“Hokage-sama, I’m here to provide you with the mission report”

“Excellent, I’ve already received and deciphered the scroll your team has sent me with all the informations you were able to collect. It seems all went smoothly, good job (Y/N)”

Despite the formalities Tsunade and (Y/N) were rather well-acquainted, being (Y/N) one of the few Hokage’s personal ANBUs meaning that she certainly trusted her. Because of that, Tsunade glanced at the girl standing in front of her and even though she was wearing the ANBU mask, she could clearly see the exhaustion that was radiating from her, hence she spoke: “(Y/N), you’ve been out there constantly completing quest after quest for quite some time now, I know that is due to the high amount of missions the village is currently dealing with, but I can see you’re at your limit, that’s why I’m giving you the permission to take a couple days off in order to rest and recover”.

“Thank you, Tsunade” replied (Y/N) with a smile, and with that, she was off.

When she reached her apartment block, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room was a mess, to say the least: there were dirty clothes scattered all across the floor mixed with random ninja scrolls with all sorts of seals written on them, along with some kunai knives and shurikens all over the apartment. She sighed to herself, realising just how long it had been since she actually stayed in her apartment for more than 10 minutes or so, just enough time to change and pack for yet another mission.

(Y/N) decided that a nice hot shower would help her take away some stress and tiredness, so she headed towards the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot stream of water that felt so nice on her bare skin.

After she was done, she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her form, then, feeling her stomach grumble, she decided to head in the kitchen to have a snack.

Unfortunately for her, when she opened the fridge she realised that everything had already expired meaning that she had nothing to eat. Nice, she thought.

That’s when her eyes fell on a small paper bag that was laying on her kitchen table. She reached to it to inspect the content and saw to her delight that inside the bag were three big red apples, her favourite. Besides the apples she saw a small note: ‘figured you wouldn’t have much at home to put in your belly after being away for so long. Enjoy - Kakashi’

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile widely at the kind gesture. (Y/N) and Kakashi had been best friends for a long time now, having been on the same team during Kakashi’s ANBU days and continued to hang out even after he left and became a sensei. To (Y/N) he was more than just her best friend though, for as time passed she started developing romantic feeling towards the copy ninja but always shrugged off those feelings out of fear of ruining their amazing friendship and because of the fact that a potential relationship would have been a rather difficult thing to handle for two Leaf Jounin such as themselves, their positions implying a dangerous lifestyle that put their lives constantly at risk; it wasn’t a secret that a normal love life wasn’t something that two Jounin of that caliber could aspire to. Truth is, she had been told by some people like Jiraiya (though he didn’t seem very reliable) that Kakashi did in fact return her feelings. It’s not that she considered that to be impossible, she had to admit that sometimes she could feel the chemistry between the two of them, but it was like they both shared some sort of unspoken agreement that kept them from bringing the relationship forward, preferring to stay as best friends. She would say she was fine with that, what she cared about the most was being by Kakashi’s side and she really enjoyed their unique friendship but she couldn’t deny that, sometimes, this situation made her kind of sad. (Y/N) thought that things were going to stay like this forever, but she was wrong.

Chewing on her apple, she started cleaning the apartment, picking up all the clothes from the floor and reorganising and storing all her scrolls. After she was done with that, (Y/N) finally sat on her couch determined to either take a nap or just relax. However she found herself just sitting there staring at the wall, boredom taking over as she started repeatedly tapping her foot on the floor. She was so used to so much action in her life that a simple day off was starting to become more difficult to handle than she could have imagined.

Suddenly an idea popped up in her head: ‘you know what? I’m gonna pay Kakashi a visit. He must be at the training ground right now, training with his team. I’m sure it’ll be fun watching him and team 7, maybe I’ll even be able to help him out, who knows’.

Thinking it would be fun to sneak up on them while they were training, (Y/N) approached the training field making sure to suppress her chakra to avoid being detected. She positioned herself on top of a well hidden branch of tree and, rather amused, observed what Kakashi and his team were doing. It looked like they were learning how to conceal themselves, judging from the fact that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were all trying to find a good hiding spot to avoid getting caught by Kakashi.

Naruto managed to find a spot on the same tree as (Y/N) without noticing her. An idea popped to her mind and, with a mischievous grin, she appeared behind the blond’s back:

“Yo, Naruto” she said without a warning.

What came next was a scream and then a thud. Naruto had fallen off the tree and was now lying on the ground, his teammates and sensei approaching him, a puzzled look on their faces.

“W-Wh-What was that?!” said a shocked Naruto, followed by (Y/N) making her appearance jumping off the tree and landing in front of them.

“Hi everyone”

And before anyone could say anything, Naruto started screaming again.

“(Y/N)?!?!? Why would you do that??? I was perfectly hiding from Kakashi-sensei until you came and revealed my presence to everyone!!”

“Your ability to conceal yourself from other ninjas is the worst Naruto, it was obvious you were hiding on that tree” said Kakashi before giving (Y/N) his signature one-eyed smile “anyway, (Y/N) you’re back already, what are you doing here?”

“Well it’s my day off, so I though I would pay you a visit you know, to thank you for the apples and to see what you and team 7 where up to” she replied a bit embarrassed, realising she just admitted she wanted to see him on her day off.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really, I just figured you would like them” he said with a smile, scratching the back of his neck, which, (Y/N) thought, was kinda cute. “But since you’re here” he continued “would you mind giving us a hand? After all, ANBUs concealing techniques and chakra suppressing abilities are the best”

“Sure! When do we begin?”

And with that, Kakashi and her began teaching the young Genin all the tricks in the books.

When they finished practicing the sun was setting. All three team 7 members improved their skill a lot, especially Sasuke, but even Naruto did surprisingly well considering he wasn’t very well versed in hiding his presence, being the show off he was.

After saying goodbye to the kids, (Y/N) was left alone with Kakashi who, making sure his students were gone, spoke up:

“Well that was intense...are you hungry? We could stop somewhere on our way back and have dinner, if you would like to of course”

“I would love to! I’m starving, plus we haven’t hung out in a while, it’ll be nice to chat a little”

“Yeah” was what Kakashi replied, though he seemed, (Y/N) thought, to be a bit tense but she shrugged off that feeling once they started walking back to the village.

They decided to stop at one of their favourite cafes in Konoha (consciously avoiding Ichiraku’s ramen to avoid bumping into Naruto) to have dinner together and talk about the usual stuff like mission etc.

(Y/N) really missed talking to Kakashi, he was like a soothing presence to her, his voice never failed to make her feel a little happier then before. Whenever they were sharing these simple moments, even as just friends, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach each time. It was a bittersweet sensation in which she felt both very happy and sad because of the fact that she was in love with her best friend, but would be to scared to actually make a move.

She snapped out of her thoughts when food came and they ate in silence.

When they finished eating their dinner, they both exited the shop and started walking together through the village.

“So how was your last mission? You’ve been gone for quite a while. Tsunade told me it was a very important top secret mission” asked Kakashi after a while.

“It worked out somehow. I didn’t think it would take so long either but we had to deal with something unexpected which caused us to carry out the mission for 3 weeks straight”

“I see” said Kakashi before he went silent again. To be honest he was being pretty silent, not that he was and extremely talkative person, but still when he was with (Y/N) he would usually be more relaxed. This time however he seemed to be lost in thoughts and she found herself wondering what it could be.

They sat on a bench, admiring in silence the starry sky. It was a comfortable silence, each of them appreciating the others presence.

(Y/N) let out a small shiver when their arms accidentally brushed against each other.

“Are you cold?” asked Kakashi.

“No, I’m fine” she answered before letting out a long sigh.

“Is something wrong? Your mind seems to be somewhere else”

(Y/N) was taken aback by his comment, realising she had been just staring at the sky for a while, thinking about him, to be honest. She didn’t exactly know why but she felt the urge to be honest to him so she spoke her mind: “Nothing’s wrong it’s just- I really missed hanging out with you, you know, being with you and just talking about nothing in particular. And it makes me a little sad that these moments have become a rarity lately, because of our schedules and everything...”. She had no idea why she went that far expressing her feelings towards him. Damn this almost sounded like a confession.

When she realised what she just said, (Y/N) turned her gaze from Kakashi, trying to hide her face that was now a blushing mess.

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He was looking at her, a blush of his own barely visible under his mask. (Y/N) had never been this sentimental with him before. Could it be possible that she was trying to tell him what he wished she was trying to tell him? - he thought.

It was now or never, thought Kakashi. She had just opened up to him and now he felt like it was the perfect time to do the same and tell her about his feelings. “There something I want you to know (Y/N)” he spoke up, making the girl finally turn her face towards him with a questioned look.

“I really like you, you know, more than just a friend”.

That’s it. He said it. There was no going back, so he went on “I’ve been acting like we’re just friends but I can’t do it anymore because I think-“ he stopped for a second, thinking about what he was about to say “- I think I’m in love with you and can’t keep pretending otherwise”

(Y/N) stood there, her eyes widened and a shocked expression on her face. There she was thinking she had just made a fool of herself in front of Kakashi for almost confessing her feelings to him, and now she just heard him say he loved her??

Soon enough the shocked expression she wore was replaced with a closed-eyed smile: “I love you too Kakashi” she finally said, then added with a chuckle “I was scared to tell you ‘cause I thought it would ruin our friendship but if you put it like that...”

When she reopened her eyes she saw Kakashi lower his mask (which didn’t shock her much since being best friends for such a long time meant that she had seen his face in many occasions) and leaning forward, cupping her cheek. She did the same until their lips finally met.

(Y/N) thought that the feeling of Kakashi’s soft lips on hers was the best.

After a few seconds, they gently started moving their lips in unison to deepen the kiss.

When the two broke apart, gasping for air, they both smiled at each other.

Maybe, (Y/N) thought, things did change after all.

[lazylazyhowl]

Hot-blooded (sasusaku oneshot)

Summary: Sasuke is a hot-blooded young man. He just forgot that.

Or,

Due to technical difficulties, the Sharingan's recording function is temporarily unavailable :(

In which,

Sakura is oblivious, Sasuke is too but then he isn’t, Sai spares no feeling, Naruto is confused, and Kakashi is having too much fun to intervene.

AO3 Link

 Ko-fi

Feedback is always appreciated. Please also consider buying me a cup of coffee if you like what I do.

It started with a tickle inside his nose as he felt something crawl down the cavern of his left nostril.

“Sa-Sasuke-kun!”

Sakura’s focused green eyes went wide before him. The tongue depressor she had inside his mouth scraped against his bottom teeth as her otherwise steady hand quivered momentarily.

Snot, then – he decided with a vague sense of shame, feeling the trail of the watery substance creep ever closer to the precipice of his upper lip. It had been chilly at night in the hospital lately, but he’d been too offish to bother requesting more blankets. Well, that and few nurses bothered to (or dared) come to his room if they didn’t have to.

He didn’t blame them.

Really.

Covered in invisible chakra suppressing seals as it was, a whole room at the quiet end of a corridor reserved just for him when the hospital was still bursting at the seams with casualties from the war? He could have kissed Tsunade.

If he could get within 10-feet of the Hokage without the entire Anbu pinning him to the ground, that was.

But back on the topic, Sakura looked frantic for some reason as she hurried to lower the tongue depressor from his mouth. “Wait- Sasuke, let me-” She made to stand from her seat, placing a gentle hand on the bandaged stub of his arm, but he shifted away from her on the hospital bed and wiped at the incendiary evidence of how lame he felt at that moment.

When he brought his hand down, he paused and examined the blood on his knuckles. His first thought was to wonder if some wound had reopened.

It was common occurrence for Sasuke. He’d become desensitized to the little nits and pricks of negligible injuries, and, in the throes of battle especially, he would often find the blood before recognizing the pain associated with it.

But then the ticklish feeling in his nose caught his attention again, and he glanced down to see more and more drops of blood landing on the front of his hospital gown.

Not snot, was his second thought as Sakura shoved a handful of tissue paper in his face to staunch the blood.

And when her other hand came around the back of his neck and her warmth drew near to his side, and she started lecturing him to keep his head tilted down, not up, he was still deciding whether a nosebleed was a better or worse thing to have in front of her.

.

.

.

.

“Maybe this is one of the consequences of overtaxing your eyes,” Sakura said, and he couldn’t help noticing the way the deep green shards in her irises contracted as she stared back into his eyes.

He hn’ed distractedly, trying not to shift against her soft palms on both sides of his face. He was uncomfortable with the proximity of their positions as well as the fact that her breaths smelt of mint and something distinctly Sakura. His hands—well, hand…was clammy, and his stomach felt funny.

She’d been behaving differently—than he expected. Though he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected. He didn’t know her. Not anymore. And what he was learning of this new her bothered him.

He supposed what got him most was the anchored grace she carried as his primary physician when his prevalent impression of her was still the little girl that used to chase him around the village, that blushed and stammered, that wore her heart on her sleeves. Not to say he wanted her back – Sakura had grown, good for Sakura – but that girl had been familiar.

This one was not, and she was uprooting something deep inside him.

Then he felt it, the tickle in his nostril, and pulled away from Sakura’s hold.

“Sasuke-kun?” She blinked. He pressed the back of his hand to his nose to avoid staining his clothes again. “Again!?” He averted his gaze sheepishly and reached for the box of tissue at his bedside.

“This is the fourth time this week!”

Of course, she was counting.

“I swear, it could be a side-effect of all these seals for all we know! I can’t even heal you in this room.” She gestured in exasperation around the room, her choppy haircut almost bristling, and he found it amusing. She was getting angry.

.

On a second examination, he wasn’t sure what exactly was so amusing about her getting angry.

And yet it was.

“It’s just a nosebleed, Sakura. There’s no need for you to heal me,” he said, and she immediately deflated, hugging her arms to her chest.

“I know.” She smiled stiffly.

He frowned.

While he had spoken with the intention to calm her down, this outcome was not quite the one he’d hoped to achieve. It was unfair that she blamed him for resorting to monosyllabic answers when every time he formed a full sentence, she would find a way to take it negatively.

“It’s not the seals.” He checked the tissue paper and winced at how much blood there was. The blood hadn’t let up, so he pressed the tissue to his nose again. “They’ve always been used on prisoners.”

“But not to this degree!” She reached for his face. “You need to pinch the bridge…”

He avoided her hand and did as told himself. “Other prisoners don’t have a Rinnegan.”

Her hand dropped back to her side. She was silent for a moment, but he knew it was not for lack of a comeback as she kept her unwavering gaze on him.

“You’re not a prisoner, Sasuke-kun,” she said after a second. “You’re a patient. My patient. So just focus on recovering, and I promise you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

It was just an argument of semantics. But she smiled, such conviction in her eyes, and he decided he liked her way of putting it better.

.

.

.

The weather was nice when he was finally allowed to leave his room for fresh air, and although Sakura never said anything, he just knew with a startling certainty that she’d played a big part in convincing whichever prejudiced councilperson that he hadn’t been lying in wait for an opportunity to burn down the entire village when people weren’t looking.

Beyond what the eyes could see, he sensed the prickle of surveillance from a team of Anbu. A gauging kind of stillness rippled across the hospital’s semi-crowded corridors that Sakura led him through.

He didn’t need to be told, either, to know Sakura was going to accompany his strolls every time. That he was her charge, she was accountable for his actions, and whatever stakes she’d put down to have him walking outside in the daylight, he would need to protect.

He decided to be on his best behavior, and perhaps he should start with keeping his eyes on the ground and not looking at anyone in the eye to make sure he couldn’t be framed for trying to put people under a genjutsu. He knew how much his Rinnegan frightened others, even those who had no idea what they were looking at.

It had been humbling, he decided, to realize Sakura had no qualms about looking into his eyes, at him, when he’d been so sure he’d crushed her beyond repair with those very eyes.

They arrived at an empty corner (or more accurately, a hastily evacuated corner) of the courtyard, and she plopped down on the nearest bench before tapping the space next to her. There was a childish sparkle to her gaze, reminiscent of an older time long gone, and the nostalgia inside him half expected her to allude to the prospects of a date.

But he knew she wouldn’t, and she didn’t. Still, his stomach trembled with what he’d come to acknowledge as gladness. He was glad that little girl wasn’t completely gone.

To what end, was yet to be determined.

He sat down beside her, a good few inches between them.

He closed his eyes and leant back, face to the sunlight. The wind picked up around him, tousling his hair and skimming across his skin, tugging at his empty shirt sleeve. It was still strange not to have that arm.

“You know, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei wanted to come with us today.” He looked from the black chakra seal on his wrist to meet with her eyes. His own narrowed, part in confusion as to why the sudden subject, part in a grimace at how close this peaceful stroll had been to being the exact opposite. He thought he saw Sakura flinch, but he couldn’t be sure. There was no reason for her to.

“They got held up in a meeting with Tsunade-shishō,” she added.

“Hn.”

“It would have been nice to have our team together again.”

“Aa,” he said, not necessarily agreeing.

Sasuke stared at her as the silence between them grew. Judging from Sakura’s increasingly uncomfortable demeanor, he supposed it was the awkward sort of silence that people disliked. Because he was who he was, awkward or not hardly mattered, but he decided to do her a favor and break it.

“There’s a leaf in your hair.”

He hadn’t wanted to point it out. He liked the sight of her with it. Something about it undid ever so slightly the kempt doctor look and let him think about young, dirt-lodged fingernails combing through pink locks to untangle sweaty knots after a particularly difficult C-ranked mission.

“W-where?” She went abruptly from breathing a sigh of relief to running her hand through her hair, frantic yet also careful so as not to muss it up. The result was that the leaf remained firmly in her hair. “Is it gone?”

He watched a few more of her unsuccessful attempts before intervening.

“Stay still.”

She obeyed and became very still. He wasn’t sure if she was even breathing as his fingers thread through her hair (finer and softer than he’d imagined) and slid the tiny leaf down its length. The corner of his mouth quirked, despite himself, in amusement as he observed her cheeks taking on the lively flush of a tomato.

The immediate next moment, all the colors drained from her face.

“Sasuke-kun!”

He blinked, confused, before registering the warm heat rolling down across his lips.

Fuck.

.

.

.

.

It wasn’t like nosebleeds were foreign to Sasuke, but they usually accompanied the ringing numbness of being punched in the face, whether that was in training or actual combat.

And even then, they were few and far in-between. And never this often.

And for some reason always his left nostril. If there was even a reason. He could be eating or just sitting around doing nothing and the blood would start flowing.

Today, he was shaving and almost thought he’d cut himself.

The nosebleeds were annoying, even more than the bursts of phantom pain, (and not the same type of annoying as Sakura, he noted in a corner of his mind). He disliked them all the more because Sakura just happened to be there to catch every single instance of him bleeding out of his nose like some ailing wimp.

Sure, he was her patient. They were in a hospital, she in a white lab coat and he in a fucking gown, and the power imbalance between them couldn’t be anymore subverted. But this. This was pathetic.

Sasuke was never one for vanity. He didn’t try to impress anyone, but there was a certain degree of decorum his Uchiha pride demanded he maintained, and he had reasons to believe non-combat-related nosebleeds were rather high up on the list of things that sullied reputations. Directly behind Harem Jutsu-related ones, to be specific.

So, imagine his surprise, and great chagrin, when the coin was finally dropped by none other than Sai.

“You have strange tastes just like Dickless, Traitor-kun.”

It was hard to decide which part of that sentence was more offensive than the other.

Sasuke looked from Sakura, her back turned to speak with an Anbu member about his progress, to glare at his replacement on Team 7 and attempted to be as menacing as someone with tissue paper in their nose could be.

“Hah?”

Black irises stared back at Sasuke from behind the Lion mask. Sai shrugged. “I don’t get why you’d get excited over Ugly.”

Although Sasuke had sworn to himself he would punch Sai the next time the socially incompetent creep referred to Sakura as ugly, he simply found himself frozen in the spot.

“Well, seems they’re done. I’d best be going. Later, Traitor-kun.”

With a methodical wave of goodbye, Sai was gone with his Anbu teammate.

“Sasuke-kun, good news!” Sakura came back to his side, bright smile on her face, and his stomach did that damning flip again. He could feel the blood creeping up his throat even as he met eyes with her.

“Are you okay?” Her expression turned concerned, and she came up even closer to try and check his temperature, prompting him to take a step back, half-afraid of burning her with the heat on his face. “You look flushed.”

“Fine.” He avoided her gaze and pulled up the front of his baggy hospital shirt to shield as much of him from her as possible. “Just the nosebleed.” And his heart sank with great rue at the reminder of what these nosebleeds had meant this whole time.

“Oh, well they said I can bring you to the main wing for some tests. Let’s go tomorrow so I can finally take a look at it.”

“There’s no need for that.” He immediately regretted how quickly and harshly he’d said it.

“What? Why not?” She sounded affronted, but it just so happened that he cared very little right now.

“Just forget about it.” He turned sharply to head into the bathroom connected to his room.

“Sasuke-”

He slammed the door behind him and collapsed back against it.

Taking a deep, stabilizing breath, Sasuke could only sigh at the red-faced idiot staring back at him in the mirror.

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.

.

“Hoooh?” Kakashi, who’d dropped in to visit, drawled in a way that was deliberately sleazy. He was peeking over his orange Icha Icha book with a glint of shrewd amusement in his eyes that Sasuke had since his genin days decided he did not like. It had usually meant something he did not wish to discuss was going to be discussed, and Kakashi was going to enjoy that discussion at Sasuke’s expense.

True to his Anbu roots, the man had a penchant for noticing things that others usually would not, and it was only due to his blatant disinterest for anything not porn that many in Konoha could sleep at night.

Sasuke, unfortunately, would not have that luxury tonight.

“What?” He griped from his bed as he pressed tissue paper to his nose. Sakura had left the room due to an emergency in another wing, but the effect of her presence remained. He had wished this would not happen around Kakashi.

He knew acting irritated was only going to encourage Kakashi to pursue the topic with extra teasing efforts, but it was either he passed off the flush to his skin as ire or let it be seen as what it was: utter mortification.

Kakashi closed the book in one quick motion, slipped it into the pocket of his vest, and sat back in his chair, looking completely smug underneath his mask. “It appears you’ve come over to this side as well.”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke breathed in abject horror at the implication. He was most definitely not in league with Naruto or Kakashi. Or, god forbid, the Ero Sennin.

“I understand where you are, Sasuke.” Kakashi held up his hands in a placating manner. “Trust me, I was once like you as well. My nasal lining is thinner than average and I get nosebleeds easier than others.”

…Oh. Sasuke relaxed a little. He was about to respond with a noncommittal Hn when Kakashi continued.

“It mortified me as a child because I would bleed constantly just from seeing beautiful women around the village. I was such a serious kid.” Kakashi sighed fondly before a stunned Sasuke. At Sasuke’s expression, the man gestured to himself. “Why do you think I started wearing this mask?”

“Because it made you look cool?” Sasuke offered, almost beseeching. Anything else. Anything but that.

Kakashi shook his head with facetious gloom. “Even now I’m washing blood off of it at the end of the day.”

Sasuke’s mouth dropped open. Since coming back, he had been thinking about perhaps spending more effort to get to know his sensei to make up for lost time, but this wasn’t at all what he had in mind.

“I…don't think that’s the case for me, Kakashi,” he said carefully, lest he stepped on any of the man’s feelings; though a part of him wasn’t entirely sure those feelings should even be protected.

“I had a lot of denial at first, too. I was miserable. It got easier once I accepted what I felt.” Kakashi got up from his seat and approached Sasuke with a grim look in his eyes. Sasuke suddenly felt open and vulnerable, with his only arm occupied by the nosebleed and unable to defend(?) him. “You need to embrace who you are, Sasuke.” The man reached for him, and he nearly flinched from the head pat. “Kidding!”

Sasuke blinked up at his sensei.

“You should have seen your face, my boy.” Kakashi laughed heartily and stepped back, hands in his pockets. “Sakura told me about what’s been going on with you. It’s just the seals.”

Sasuke scowled, both angry and confused, which was never a good thing considering his track record. “What?”

“The seals. It’s rare, but I’ve seen it happened when people tried to use their chakra while under these seals, especially for dōjutsu.”

He held Kakashi’s gaze suspiciously, freshly sore at being made fun of. But the matter-of-fact tone was one his sensei reserved for teaching, and he knew this was worthwhile information. “But I’m not trying to use any,” he said.

“Oh, I can tell.” A teasing smirk crinkled Kakashi’s eyes. “How I just wonder what you’re unconsciously using around our lovely Sakura.” Sasuke’s jaw locked as the older man wiped away an imaginary tear from his eye. “I’m happy for you, Sasuke. I was afraid my cute students were going to grow old alone.”

“Kakashi,” he said warningly, and Kakashi laughed.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul about this.” He winked. “It’ll be a secret between us closet perverts.”

The heat on Sasuke’s face intensified, and he was glaring at his sensei so hard, the man might have burst into Amaterasu-fire if it hadn’t been for the seals restricting his chakra.

.

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.

“This is not normal, Sasuke-kun,” she said as they were returning from another stroll.

Sasuke agreed, but not in the sense that she’d meant. “Hn.” He didn’t meet her eyes as he dabbed at the blood in his nose. At least it dried up quickly this time.

“You have got to let me check it out.”

“Haven’t I?” He paused. “And haven’t you?”

She gave him a pointed look, arms crossed. “I was practically wrestling you just to look inside your nose!”

Which was particularly unhelpful for his…condition.

He crumpled up the bloodied tissue paper and put on his annoyed face in hope to get her to drop the subject. But there was also a creeping sense of resignation that he was getting worse and worse at handling Sakura. (Then again, nothing he’d ever done had deterred her before, so it was a small mystery how he’d gained the otherwise confidence in the first place.)

“And you said nothing was amiss.”

“Which is why I need to give you an actual checkup!” She threw her hands up. “I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this!”

He stopped abruptly and turned to hold her glare for a moment. “Nothing’s hurting.” Except his pride.

“That doesn’t mean anything. Don’t you turn your back to me! We’re not done here!”

He continued down the hallway toward his room and didn’t look back.

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.

.

He could feel her eyes boring into his back and kept still just to maintain the theatre, even though he knew she knew he was awake. A part of him felt like the child she must think of him, that he was depending on mere layers of blankets to keep himself insulated from the things that he feared.

It was an interesting thought, fearing Sakura—when he could think of much more unpleasant company to be with. But her presence had always unsettled him in some abstract, primal way, and learning just why that was finally, brought not only insecurity but also guilt.

For having trampled on her feelings with every turn of his heel.

For still doing so even now, as it appeared.

He felt her lean against the bed and tensed, anticipating some kind of touch. It never came.

“I’m sorry if you think I was overstepping.” There was a sigh mixed in with her whispered tone. “I’ve just been…” Her sentence died down to silence, and there was another sigh. “Good night.”

When she pulled away, he had a sudden, inexplicable urge to grab and pull her back. One he had to stop himself from acting on.

“Hn.” He grunted when she neared the doorway. It was the only sound he trusted himself to make.

She was silent, but he had no doubt she’d heard him. “I have the shift tonight. Call me if you need me, Sasuke-kun.” And she left after switching the lights off and resealing the door as per protocol.

He had no idea what sort of expression she had made with his back turned, but he hoped, and imagined, it to be that small smile she always gave that meant he had been forgiven.

.

.

.

No one shared walls with him. It was quite obvious when he lay awake at night and didn’t have to listen to the traumatized screams of the other patients.

He was glad, then, that neither could they hear him when he woke up shouting at the darkness.

He was in a pool of his own sweat, heart beating its way out of his ribcage and non-existent arm hurt as if skewered by a thousand senbons. He dug his fingers into his shoulder blade, and, at that moment, would gladly give up the rest of the arm if it meant the pain would stop.

A pitiful noise escaped his throat. He eyed the call button glowing a soft red in the night.

All he had to do was reach for the button and Sakura might just punch through walls if it meant getting to him even a little bit faster. His teeth bared in a poor-humored smirk. He let go of a shaky breath and turned resolutely away, banishing those thoughts back to the shadows where they belonged.

He didn’t need her.

But he supposed he did want her.

He wanted her. He wanted Sakura. Here. Now.

Still, he wouldn’t press that button. Night terrors were hardly emergencies, and this wasn’t even something Sakura could fix. Imagine the paperwork she would have to deal with afterwards just because he decided to act like a spoiled child.

He wouldn’t press the button. But, staring at the door, he found himself wishing she would come anyway.

That wasn’t how life worked, though. He wasn’t Naruto, but he too was an orphan. He knew how it was. You either ask for or take what you want, or you simply fall through the cracks.

But then he saw the seal over door start to recede silently, and his eyes went wide. He pushed himself up on the bed, taut with anticipation and disbelief, as the door opened with excruciating slowness. A part of him, the misanthropic, world-weary part, was just waiting for it to reveal someone else and crush any crumb of hope he might have had to fine dust.

It was a stupid thought and he knew it. The moment the seal burnt away, he could tell it was her chakra on the other side of the door, humming ever so gently as always, if not a little dulled and frazzled from the late night.

But it was easier than addressing the gratefulness that was welling up inside his lungs.

After what felt like an eternity later, Sakura’s familiar figure walked in and closed the door, the seal mending itself together behind her. Even without the aid of the Sharingan, he easily found green eyes in the dim moonlight.

“Sasuke-kun?”

It was only when he needed to respond that he realized he’d been holding his breath.

“…Sakura.”

He dropped back down on the bed, all strength vacating his muscles, and screwed his burning eyes shut. His hand still cradled his shoulder loosely, and he felt, rather than heard, her hurriedly approaching his bedside to bring her hand over his.

“Does it hurt?”

“Aa.” He didn’t mind the useless question like he usually would. Only congratulated himself on successfully keeping his voice from cracking.

She didn’t say anything as her fingers squeeze over his, gently but firmly.

“Do you…” He began after a while, opening his eyes to find hers. “—just come to my room for no reason at night?”

If she thought he sounded accusing, he was glad she didn’t apologize; because he wasn’t trying to be. She took some time deciding how to answer him, and he was oddly pleased she didn’t look away as she did so. “I overheard you screaming from nightmares last week and well—” Her gaze darted away for a fraction of a second, where she bit her lower lip, before settling back on him. “I just worry.”

He grunted breathily from the pain and a poignant frustration.

Of course, she had. And of course, she did.

He cracked his eyes open again and attempted to determine her expression in the darkness, fearing it was pity. It wasn’t. She just looked sad and hurt, and he didn’t entirely understand why.

He could feel that now familiar tingle in his nostril again, and the blood soon came spilling down across his mouth. He made no attempt to hide from her widening eyes. It was perhaps his fate, he decided, to have her always witnessing him at his most ugly, most shameful, like he wasn’t already enough of a miserable wreck in front of her.

“Sasuke-kun!”

Her hand flinched away from his to reach for the box of paper tissue, and an inexplicable feeling of emptiness gripped at him.

“No.” He held her back by the wrist and met her startled eyes. “Just…” He grimaced from another sharp lance of pain and might be squeezing her harder than he meant to. If it hurt her, she never protested and only remained quiet. Patient. As always.

And he reasoned. And argued and bargained. What was one more prideless moment before her?

“Just stay like this for a bit.”

.

.

When he woke again, it was almost morning. The pain was gone, but not her, who sat dutifully at his bedside. She told him her shift was about to end, and he finally let go of her hand.

“Thank you,” he said just as she was about to leave. His scratchy voice was loud in the silence of the room, and he hoped she would hear the apology within. She said nothing and only smiled the way he’d hope she would the night before.

.

.

.

.

.

There was a thundering march of footfalls barreling down toward Sasuke’s end of the hallway, and the stupid face that jumped to the front of his mind made him close his eyes in sufferance.

“Bastard!” He heard the muffled voice from the other side of the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose, already sensing an incoming wave of migraine.

“Oi, Sasuke bastard!” Naruto practically kicked his way into the room, the seal dissipating like embers around him, and right away was all up in Sasuke’s personal space, grabbing his shirt and dragging him to his bare feet. “What is this about you possibly dying and refusing treatment!?”

“What are you even-”

“Don’t you lie, Sakura-chan just told me! Do you know how worried she’d been, you incorrigible bastard!? Why can’t you just do as told for once in your life!? I didn’t bring you back just so you can go die to some perfectly curable disease!”

Beside being mildly surprised that the idiot even knew the word incorrigible, Sasuke was too speechless to even be properly annoyed. He hadn’t the slightest idea what the idiot was talking about.

“Answer me, bastard!” At his stunned silence, Naruto started shaking him. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“St-stop that, idi-” He winced, feeling the pressure on some of the smaller, more persistent cracks in his bones that Sakura had left to heal naturally. She had said it was healthier for the body, but he also suspected some outside pressure forcing her hand to keep him hospitalized and in suboptimal condition.

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice got them both turning toward the door. In a split second, the blond was smacked audibly upside the head and promptly dropped Sasuke back against the bed. Sakura stepped in between him and Naruto, her back to him and hands on her hip.

“Ow! Sakura-chan! Why-”

“He’s a patient for god’s sake. Not everyone has monstrous healing like you. Manhandling him like that, are you crazy!?”

“Me!? You’re getting mad at me!? What about the bastard? He’s the one trying to die!” Naruto pointed an incriminating finger at him.

“If he really is then you’re not helping!” She turned to him, and immediately he felt every cell in his body respond to her hands on his chest, checking the bandages under his disheveled shirt. “Are you alright, Sasuke-kun?” No. No, he was not. Surely, being hyperaware of what her presence could do to him did not help his situation. “Did anything reopen?”

“I don’t th-”

When he glanced down, he stared at the dot of blood blooming on her white coat sleeve and decided then and there the entire universe conspired against him.

His hand shot up to cover his face, but it was too late.

“Bastard!” “Sasuke-kun!”

The speed at which the colors drained from his teammates face was as if they were the ones bleeding out, which would have been funny if Sasuke wasn’t busy regretting ever being born. Naruto sprung into action and started ushering Sasuke backward.

“L-lie down, bastard! Don’t you die on us!”

Sasuke let out an unintentional oof as he was heaved by the torso a few inches off the floor and deposited back onto the bed.

“Calm down, idiot!” Blood freely flowed from his nose during his feeble attempt at fighting Naruto’s seemingly herculean strength, the blond relentlessly trying to pin him on his back. It was frustrating because they were supposed to be equally handicapped. “I’m fi-”

“No! Naruto, he has to keep his head down.” Sakura joined the fray and extracted Naruto from him before she once again was too close. She guided him to sit on the edge of the bed and, in stark contrast to the firm fingers at the back of his neck, started to gingerly wipe at the blood on his face with tissue paper.

“I can do it myself, Saku-”

“Kakashi-sensei, get out of my way!” Naruto said, and Sasuke snapped his gaze to the door where Kakashi was trying to calm the blond down while remaining resolutely in Naruto’s way, causing him to become even more agitated and vocal. Sasuke would have slapped a hand to his face had his only one wasn’t busy trying to wrangle the tissue paper from Sakura’s hold.

Distracted from yelling at Naruto, Sakura’s hold slackened, and Sasuke took the chance to take over. She glanced back at him in a quick assessment before releasing him and returning her attention to Naruto and Kakashi.

Now, Sasuke had few ideas of the politics that went on outside of hospital walls.

Sakura only gave the good news, and Naruto spoke in future tense, borderline grandiose in the things he promised would happen once he got through to the ‘old fogeys,’ to quote his words. Kakashi just gave Sasuke porn (which he had leveled a disdainful scowl at, but eventually read anyway out of boredom).

What little Sasuke did know, he’d overheard from the doctors and nurses that wandered too far down his hallway, and he knew it wasn’t looking good for him.

All things considered, he really didn’t need—this. This whole situation. With both Sakura and Naruto screaming and arguing like children, Kakashi being too amused for someone who was supposed to be the mediating adult, and Sasuke trying to get them all off his case. And failing miserably.

“I have to go get help! Sasuke bastard’s dying!”

“Now, now, I think you’re overreacting a little, Naruto. Plus, isn’t his doctor already here?”

Naruto whipped around, a hint of sharp canines amongst his bared teeth, and pointed at Sasuke. “Bastard, tell us what’s wrong now.”

“Stop aggravating him, stupid Naruto!”

“Why are you on his side!? He’s the stubborn asshole here!”

“I’m on no one’s side! You need to—”

Sasuke chuckled, effectively silencing the entire room as all eyes gathered on him. On another day, he would have lamented being the center of attention, but right now, he just felt oddly light-hearted as he tried to contain his amusement, his entire frame shaking from his effort.

“Sa-Sasuke-kun?”

“Oh no.” Naruto’s voice was a breathless whisper. “Sasuke bastard broke.”

Kakashi just hummed contemplatively.

When he’d gotten a hold of himself, he lifted his gaze to each of the room’s occupant, from Naruto’s slack-jawed confusion, to Kakashi’s smiling eyes, and finally Sakura’s blushing awe. It was just like old times.

“You’re not really dying, are you? Was it because I punched you too hard?” Naruto appeared next to him as if he wasn’t just royally pissed a moment ago and pulled at his sleeve with an almost pleading look. “Is it chakra related? Would lending you some of Kurama’s help?”

Sasuke had a feeling that might just make the problem worse. “Hn.”

“What the heck does that mean!?”

“Naruto.” Sakura warned. Naruto coughed.

Kakashi came to stand before them. “Aw, isn’t this a lovely sight. Your old sensei’s heart is melting.”

“Kakashi.” Sasuke glared at the man, who grinned wider under his mask.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling. Just, I don’t want you to die, bastard. We just got you back.”

“Aa.” He moved the tissue to check if the blood had stopped. It had. He crumpled up the bloodied tissue and tossed it into the bin. Noticing Sakura’s concerned gaze, he added. “I’ll be fine. They're just nosebleeds, Sakura.”

“Sasuke-kun, when they’re this often—” Sasuke tried to ignore the smirk Kakashi was giving him out the corners of his eyes. “—it could be something serious. I just want to run some blood tests to make sure.”

“Let her take a look at you, bastard!” Naruto prodded at his arm. “You’re not afraid of needles, are you? What kind of shinobi is afraid of needles?”

He spared the blond a brief glare before returning to Sakura. Her eyes were sad again, and he felt guilty that he’d neglected to realize this was bothering her so much.

“Fine.”

“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about, bastard!” Naruto slapped his shoulder painfully, earning another half-hearted glare from him.

“Really?”

“Hn. Nothing’s wrong with me. But if it’ll put you at ease, you can see for yourself.”

“Good news all around, then,” Kakashi said, but Sasuke hardly noticed.

Sakura gave him a wide grin as she thanked him profusely, and where he would have pointed out that her gratitude didn’t make sense, Sasuke simply found himself staring at the way her entire demeanor has brightened and how the light danced in the green of her eyes. Belatedly, he caught onto her alarmed look and resisted the urge to sigh, partly because it would spray blood everywhere.

“Sasuke-kun!” “What is it, Sakur—Bastard!?”

And there was shouting as Naruto worked himself into a frenzy, clattering as Sakura knocked over a tray getting the tissue paper to him, and unrestrained laughter as Kakashi stood back and watched it all unfold.

As his teammates fussed over him and chided their sensei for not helping, Sasuke kept his head down and cupped his palm over the nosebleed, a small smile hidden beneath his fingers.

[temarisnara]

sannin

oh,,,,mess,,,,

jiraiya

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life   hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang |  hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (points to meta on naruto’s post) best quality: oh boy. ok. without a doubt it’s his heart. i wanted to hate him, i did hate him, but i saw him with naruto. with tsunade. with the ame trio. how he never gave up on orochimaru. he loves deeply. he’s also like, such a lowkey caretaker because of it, and i’ve talked before about he’s the steady one when things go to shit. just, god!!! everything about his bonds with other people GETS to me. worst quality: HIS SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF WOMEN LMAO like GOD. there’s meta about how jiraiya uses sex to cope, about wanting intimacy but fearing loss, and THAT is fun. but kishimoto was like what if we make it a RUNNING GAG because jiraiya is so fucking horny!!! FUCK. ITS BAD. also, taking away shitty writing, this man is a goddamn sagittarius in the WORST way. he runs away from responsibility like no other! his refusal to accept the hat, the fact he CLEARLY avoided the village for 12 fucking years so he wouldn’t have to Deal with the fact he’s naruto’s godfather, HE JUST ABANDONED 3 FUCKING 12-13 YEAR OLDS IN A WARZONE AFTER BEING THEIR ONLY CAREGIVER FOR 3 YEARS WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF THEY’D WANT TO COME BACK TO KONOHA WITH HIM????? JIRAIYA IM COMING FOR YOU   ship them with: tsunade and orochimaru are his SOULMATES brotp them with: tsnunade and orochimaru are his GOVERNMENT ASSIGNED BEST FRIENDS. also naruto, minato, and the ame trio. needs to stay away from: uhhhhhhhhhh genuinely anyone besides tsunade and orochimaru. no one deserves this disaster man. misc. thoughts: i’m So mad how much i love him. like it’s fine i’m a comics stan i’m used to picking and choosing which parts of canon i accept. but i truly lost a lot of self respect when i was forced to admit i stan jiraiya.

tsunade

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff best quality: her strength. like, obviously she’s physically a powerhouse, but emotionally she keeps getting knocked down and getting back up. and it’s like...not even a trait she acknowledges? i think because of her years of drifting, drinking away her pain, gambling to feel the adrenaline rush, she doesn’t consider herself emotionally strong,  but like. she lost dan, and nawaki. she lost orochimaru to his quest for power, she lost jiraiya to his worldly adventures. she did what she could to cope. and when she agreed to become hokage, she put all that on the back burner. when orochimaru died, she didn’t let herself feel it. when jiraiya died, she let herself breakdown privately, and then pulled herself back together. when pain attacked the  village, she kept everyone alive. she never buckled under her own grief, her own pain. she’s so fucking strong!!!!!  worst quality: god i WISH canon would show tsunade is JUST as messy and awful as jiraiya and orochimaru. like i saw someone going off about how it’s not fair to compare tsunade’s addiction to jiraiya’s horny bullshit or orochimarru’s literal war crimmes and that’s true! but it is fair to talk about how tsunade is an INSANE PERSON who trained a 12 year old child everyday until her bones broke and made her KEEP GOING WITH BROKEN BONES. like, i’m NOT LETTING THIS ONE GO TSUNADE!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! ship them with: jiraiya and orochimaru!!! brotp them with: jiraiya and orochimaru, sakura, shizuune, kakashi, naruto needs to stay away from: anyone besides jiraiya and orochimaru. like, technically, there’s nothing wrong with tsunade/dan, except it’s the most boring ship i’ve ever laid eyes on. misc. thoughts: she really is such a cool, well written, underutilized character lmao. i really wish we’d gotten more of tsunade’s complexity and messiness. 

orochimaru

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (I AM TALKING STRICTLY BORUTO AND SANNIN ERA OROCHIMARU. OG NARUTO AND EVEN SHIPPUDEN NARUTO IS UGLY!!!) hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff best quality: none <3 i love orochimaru because he’s an incredibly complex character, not because he has good qualities! like if i had to name his best quality, it’s his love for mitsuki. orochimaru and mitsuki are the ONLY reason i acknowledge boruto because everything else is BAD. worst quality: LITERAL! WAR! CRIMINAL! ship them with: tsunade and jiraiya!! brotp them with: tsunade and jiraiya!!! i like fandom acting like he’s sasuke’s annoying godfather.  needs to stay away from: literally anyone besides the sannin. misc. thoughts: bro kishimoto dropped the BALL here. orochimaru is so fucking complex, there’s LAYERS here. like, we have this little war orphan, the last of his kind, who never learned or understood morality. but he had jiraiya and tsunade to guide him. he trusted them. they were loud, and annoying, but he trusted them. but war happened. war happened, and orochimaru led the mission nawaki died on. he stood and watched, unable to do anything, as dan bled out in tsunade’s arms. death surrounded him. he became desensitized to it, while also being terrified of it. the timeline is wonky, but in MY head jiraiya leaving was the start of orochimaru pulling away. he and tsunade didn’t talk as much those years. he became obsessed with forbidden jutsus. when jiraiya came back, orochimaru was willing to kill him so he and tsunade could get away. danzo started manipulating him, encouraging his desire for power and knowledge, his lack of morals.  neither tsunade or jiraiya noticed or reached out. hell, they might’ve already left at this point, which is also a blow for him- i truly think their abandonment hit orochimaru Hard. and the final blow came when sarutobi chose a CHILD over him to become hokage. he’d dedicated his life, he’d killed and bled for the village, and still it wasn’t enough, sarutobi still didn’t trust him, didn’t see him worthy. just. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! OROCHIMARU IS SO INTERESTING AND ITS NEVER EXPLORED!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nonbinarysasukes]

hokage!kushina au

minato rejected being hokage bc he knew his fiance had always wanted it, and bc he knew she had better leadership skills, so he recommended her for the post instead. and when the new hokage was announced as kushina uzumaki, kushina didn’t cry (minato did though). she squealed and hugged minato, then calmed herself down saying, “a hokage has to be cool and composed-ttebane!”

because of kushina’s smart thinking to put mikoto and fugaku on watch while she’s birthing, kurama is held back and sealed into her once more after naruto is born. minato and kushina raise their son into a wonderful (gay) boy. kushina and her bff mikoto find out abt danzo and have him sentenced to death. the members of root, including the children, are freed. 

kushina also abolishes the shitty team setup of “two boys one girl” and starts failing the incompetent boys and passing more girls instead. women’s rights in konoha have never been this good. more than half the anbu is now the women who never got a chance to fight bc of konoha’s elitist system. mikoto is promoted to captain like she should have been so many years ago.

kushina outlaws the hyuuga branch system to much outrage which thankfully calms down soon enough. hinata is never kidnapped bc konoha’s guards aren’t negligent. as a result, hizashi never dies, and he and neji are treated fairly. neji, hinata and hanabi grow up like siblings. hinata grows out of her stuttering habit and becomes a calm, mature young ninja. hanabi is the same bright, talented firework who goes on to lead the hyuuga. neji settles down with lee and gaara as an anbu of konoha many years later.

team gai remains the same, with their wholesome dynamic. neji plays along with lee’s rivalry, all the while hiding his huge crush on lee. tenten just smirks at them the whole time.

tenten gets to study under kushina - surprisingly the uzumaki clan also has a history of weapons. tenten falls in love immediately. she and temari draw in the chuunin exams and tenten gets enough courage to ask her out. they get married after steadily dating for five years straight. temari is the kazekage, so they get to meet on political missions (which end up being just makeout sessions but no one needs to know)

team 8 have kurenai sensei, as usual. she’s not with asuma bc he’s a creep but dates shizune instead. kibahinashino is a thing ok?! hinata is the team leader no questions asked. kiba and shino work amazingly well with her and they all lead feminist rallies together. kurenai has fun with her kids.

anko gets actual. fucking. therapy. kushina lets her nuke oro***maru herself. jiraiya is given a proper dressing-down for his perverted and irresponsible behavior and reforms himself. he takes an active interest in helping orphans and starts tons of orphanages. tsunade returns to konoha eventually and is also given a right scolding by rin and kushina. shizune joins in too.

kakashi, who moved in with kushina and minato not long after obito’s “death”, grows up as naruto’s big bro/uncle of sorts. rin grows to become a strong medic-nin, even learning from tsunade, and is easily able to fight off her kidnappers with a few punches, thus staying alive. obito never finds rin’s body and soon realises madara’s intents, managing to kill him while he’s asleep and running home to konoha where he reunites with his team. obito is fully pardoned by kushina, who gives him a huge hug as she announces his pardoning. minato cries.

there’s no uchiha coup bc they saved the whole damn village and are now respected and well loved. the uchihas also show their warmer side to konoha, which endears them further. fugaku retires from ninja work bc he’s Stressed TM and becomes a househusband. mikoto’s cool enough for both of them anyway, he reasons.

kakashi retires from ninja-ing at 20 and starts dating gai, whom obito sets him up with. rin and obito become the closest of friends but never get together bc obito gets over his puppy crush and rin’s aro. yamato adopts shin and sai, and obito and yamato start dating. 

naruto, sasuke and sakura are still put on the same team with yamato as a sensei, but naruto and sasuke grow up as really close friends. sakura never has a rivalry with ino bc sasuke’s always goofing around with naruto and doesn’t come off as ‘cool’ and ‘crushable’ - though he does grow into his coolness later lmao - and sakura later starts dating ino. (sasuke and naruto and sai set them up.)

team 7 are the BEST of friends, and when sai is added to the team (having had to undergo therapy to reverse root’s brainwashing) he fits in perfectly. he and sasuke have fun making dick jokes. naruto and sakura just face-palm at the two.

naruto’s still a bit of a goof and quite awkward, but he doesn’t have such a problem with chakra as he used to. he’s also talented with sealing, having been taught by kushina personally! he’s all-round average as he doesn’t have much stamina, but a brave shinobi. when he is fourteen he’s made the jinchuriki in an official ceremony.

sasuke pretends he can control naruto through his sharingan and scares him for nearly a month before revealing he’s joking. naruto was so mad (esp bc kushina and minato played along, like of COURSE)

sakura learns from rin rather than tsunade, who turns out to be a wayyyy better role model. she learns a lot about being a medic-nin and even develops her own style of taijutsu - blossom fist, which relies on strong and super-fast attacks by focusing on making the chakra overflow in an opponent’s bones, essentially breaking them. sakura also spends a lot of time with sasuke, both training their genjutsu together.

sasuke awakens his sharingan when he is twelve and itachi comes home half-dead from a mission. he turns out to be extremely talented with the doujutsu, perhaps more so than any member of his clan. itachi teaches him swordplay as well. sasuke also hones his lightning ability and, having never relied on the mangekyou, becomes a master of the regular ability of the sharingan. he receives training from kakashi and becomes almost as good a copy-nin as him.

tenten becomes hokage soon after kushina. sakura is her right-hand. sasuke and naruto are joint anbu captains (minato and fugaku are so proud). kushina officiates sakura and ino’s wedding. everyone’s actually happy.

kushina is regarded as konoha’s strongest hokage until tenten. she and tenten are considered to be on the same level. they’re even called “the twin queens” across the five shinobi countries.

anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk lol ik this got long but i wanted everyone and sadly i couldn’t have the akatsuki and everybody bc let’s be real how much can i type? i might put it in a part 2 tho!

[sunnixsunshine]

A concept I might not draw again for a while but I'm excited to develop more.

Basically its a Bnha x Naruto crossover wher Naruto and the others attend a more "countryside" academy— Konoha Academy(I know its lame, sue me)— and he's a 3rd year, based around shippuden.

Naruto wears the school uniform incorrectly— using the belt as a headband, wearing his jacket under his uniform blazer(with the collared button down underneath— he's a disaster), he wears boots even though there's some provided uniform shoes that do fit him perfectly and feel better than those boots. Meanwhile, Sasuke and Sakura both wear their's as the rules state.

I'll just touch upon the main four's quirks and a bit of how I see their background.

Naruto's quirk is "life force(chakra) manipulation"— I haven't thought of a better name yet— where he can make his shadow clones(which are vivid and almost solid illusions created with pure life force/chakra), use rasengan, and all the other techniques that require chakra. Naruto strives to be number 1, although he does not idolize All Might(if I do decide to include his influence in this AU), rather he idolizes his father and even Jiraiya(as well as Sarutobi).

Sasuke's quirk is just copying other quirks with his sharingan— which is a quirk varient only seen in the Uchiha family— its like a fusion between Monoma's quirk and Aizawa's. I haven't gone into the other types yet, still thinking of those. Sasuke attended an exclusive program only Konoha Academy has(more on that in a bit) and his first year(age 11) went well until the middle of it when he was struck by a villian(Orochimaru) and was permanently affected by his quirk— ie, the curse mark. It still affects him in his 3rd year of the academy and has forced him to be supervised at all times. Reason being is because the quirk causes him to seek power and not stop until the power is given to him, like going off to Orochimaru(its not the only way but it does cause the person to WANT to go to him). It also amplifies his quirk, which just strengthen whatever qyirk he copies.

Sakura can heal others with her palm, accelerating skin cell growth and the whatnot. Her's is pretty basic but isnt exactly battle ready— and thats actually because shes training to be an on field nurse, something Tsunade has finally convinced the village(just their village/the leaf village) to try out. However, field nurses are expected to be able to defend themselves and help in a fight, so Sakura uses hero tools(more on that later) to aid her. I havent thought of much for Sakura yet, its a bit of a struggle since she isnt too relevant in most arcs— which I wanna change in this AU.

Lastely, Kakashi harbors two quirks; Lightening blade and Sharingan. He and Obito was subjected to testing— think about the nomus and such because thats exatly it ;)— in their 2nd year. Obito risked his life to let Kakashi escape, and in the midst of things, during the escape that is, somehow Obito's quirk was given to Kakashi(its obvious to us how he got it but not to him or Obito). Obito willingly gave up his quirk to AFO without knowing he did and AFO just gave it away— I dont have a solid reasoning yet, but maybe because its literally AFO but with eyes and its limited. Kakashi was once a hired bounty hunter for the more rouge and dangerous villains other heroes dont want to go after, but then Gai convinced him to quit because the job was changing him. After that, Kakashi was offered a position as a teacher at the academy.

How the academy works:

11-13 year olds are open to apply for a junior program, to get a head start in their hero training— not studies. After that they are guaranteed a spot in the main academy— for example, Hinata and Neji were both accepted into the program and then immediately granted a spot without needing to apply; meanwhile, Naruto was not in the program, but he was taught a lot by Iruka(which is who essentially raised him since he was about 4) and got in after applying and taking the exam(which yes he almost failed).

After a year or two in the program, depending on age(11 is 2 years, while 12 is 1 year), they move up to their 1st year year in the academy where they start their studies and further their training, just more intense. The academy lasts 3 years like a typical Japanese highschool. They have all their general classes of course and then theres their hero classes. The school is mostly comprised of hero students, with field nurse students sprinkled in.

After the 3rd year, all students have the option to sign up for a program that will guarantee them a spot in a real agency as a sidekick— the internship program. Its like an extra 4th year except they arent actually in the school as students anymore. Some are assigned to heroes not affiliated with the school, to which hero assignments are changed at the start of every week(they get new hero partners). And then some are assigned to a teacher's agency. All the students are required to come back to the school to fill out their reports, which are technically graded and only for the purpose of correcting it before official reports are ever made [outside of the program].

Class teams:

Class teams are exactly what the name suggests. In their 1st year, three students are assigned to be a team. Its to teach them about team work very early on. Class teams are only disbanded in their 3rd year at the end of their first semester. The rest of the year students study and partake in feild training on their own. Class teams do get individual teachers that stay well into their 3rd year. Each class is actually very small and so grouping them into teams is easy.

Hero tools:

Hero tools are pretty obvious. In the academy, every student is required to learn how to use a hero tool, even if they dont require one because of their quirk, and any kind is acceptable— the academy's provided tools are kunai and shurinken, but students can design and develop their own hero tool(s) if they so wish— for example, Sakura uses the basic hero tools provided by the school, but then theres Shikamaru who developed his own tool that would help produce more shadows that would help him use his quirk better.

Feel free ask about this I guess.I want to make a comic out of this in the future, when I get my tablet, so I just want to develop this more before I get too ahead in drawing it.

[fuckyoucanada]

Aspirations

Summary: When Sasuke was younger, he had wanted to be a star. Sasuke-centric Dark Canon Divergret AU, ObiSasu

I have to be honest, I don't really know where this came from? idk man who the hell knows what goes on in my head

"Look at the universe! What do you see? An order? Tranquility? A divine peace? You fool! You ignorant! Over there, galaxies are colliding, suns are exploding, black holes swallowing stars! Now look at the universe again! What do you see? A disorder? Chaos? Anything savage? You see a hell? Now, you see the truth!" ― Mehmet Murat ildan

Aspirations

When Sasuke was younger, he had wanted to be a star.

"You want to what?" Itachi had asked him, his voice amused as they lay side by side in the overgrown field a few minutes away from the Uchiha clan compound.

"Be a star," young Sasuke had answered, his words a whisper of awe as he stared up at the sparkling gleams in the night sky, "I want to shine bright like they do."

"You already shine bright," Itachi tells him, an affectionate smile on his face.

Sasuke doesn't reply, just continues to look up at the night sky. Itachi doesn't understand, but Sasuke hadn't really expected him to. Itachi already shined brightly. He was seen by their mother, their father, their clan, and the village. He was the prodigal heir of the Uchiha clan. He was a young genius that shone brightly among his peers.

Sasuke was no star. Sasuke did not shine brightly when compared to others. Sasuke was average and he once heard his father call him clingy. Sasuke was not independent like Itachi. Sasuke wanted affection and reassurance. Itachi was far more complacent and that was something Sasuke had yet to learn. He asked questions, where he should not. Itachi listened and people adored him for it. Sasuke tilted his head, curiosity getting the better of him, and he was dim in comparison.

Itachi was like the stars in the heavens and Sasuke greedily wished he was one too. In his darker moments, he wished Itachi was a falling star, a star that has had its time and is now descending down to the level of the other dim, uninteresting people.

He never voices these thoughts, only ever speaking admiring things about his beloved brother, but he thinks it often enough. That simple wish that Itachi would fall so Sasuke could finally rise and shine.

(In another world, the political climate of the village falls apart. Scheming and warmongering lead to rumors and then whispers of rebellion. A once bright star does what its known for and complies with his orders and then he starts his descent. He will fall and eventually he will fade, a new star entering the sky. This, however, is not that world.)

Sasuke spends his childhood wishing and growing bitter. He is often ignored in favor of his brother, and when once Itachi would placate him with broken promises of training, now the older boy is just too busy for even that. He always has a sad smile to spare him when they cross paths, but Itachi slowly grows a new life away from Sasuke and he can't bring himself to force a place for him in it. He watches as Itachi advances, his rank rising, the admiration from others flowing, and Sasuke burns red hot with jealousy.

Sasuke knows he's being a bitter asshole by the time he's thirteen. He knows his hateful thoughts are full of spite and not fair to Itachi, the teen who wants absolutely zero of the attention he gets. Still, that anger burns and burns and every time Itachi tells him he's too busy to help Sasuke, it grows bright and more intense. His spite grows nasty and malicious and by the age of seventeen, Sasuke is foaming at the mouth with repressed rage.

He has a mask, of course. He is the kind younger brother of the incredible Uchiha Itachi. He is average, when it's all said and done. He blends into the crowds, going unnoticed unless Itachi is nearby. Then, and only then, people will acknowledge him, telling him how amazing his brother is, and then they will turn away to bask in the glow of the shining star that is his older brother.

Sasuke is only a chūnin by the time he is seventeen and he is completely ignored in his obscurity. Itachi has long since moved out of their childhood home and his parents are often busy with other duties. His father no longer bothers to pretend to care and his mother's affection is absent-minded as she gushes over Itachi and Izumi, who have finally decided that marriage is in their near future.

Sasuke has lived seventeen years as a planet orbiting the Itachi star and it has long since grown old. His teammates are bright spots throughout the years, but they are not constant fixtures now that they are being assigned to different squads. Naruto is the son of the Hokage and he is bright like Itachi, although he is less of a mysterious celestial being and more of a bright sunshine. Besides, the last time Sasuke saw Naruto, he was excitedly telling Hinata that his mother was once more pregnant. Sasuke pitied the child or children. They too would be like Sasuke; a mere shade compared to a smarter, more powerful brother. Sakura cared once upon a time, her minuscule crush on Sasuke giving him hope that he wasn't as invisible as he feared, but the first time Itachi had stopped by to walk home with Sasuke after training, she was lost to him. She saw Itachi, saw his glow compared to Sasuke's darkness, and she turned from him.

Kakashi was never much of a presence to being with, his sensei's attention mostly focused on Naruto and the genius civilian girl under his tutelage. He never outright ignores Sasuke, which he admittedly appreciates, but Sasuke gets no other recognition. It is through Kakashi that Sakura gains an apprenticeship under Tsunade, the slug Sannin having recently returned at the request of the fourth Hokage. She is excited, Sasuke knows. He will see less of her until she finally stops bothering to make an effort of staying in contact. Naruto was always guaranteed an apprenticeship with Jiraiya. Sasuke is guaranteed nothing.

No one, not even Itachi, reaches out. No one takes a look at the dim star Sasuke is. Nobody cares and Sasuke is cold.

So when he is approached by a black hole, how could he honestly say no?

-------------------------

"You're invisible to them," Tobi says, his orange mask obscuring his face. His tone is similarly blank and Sasuke marvels at his emotional control.

Meeting the masked shinobi who went by Tobi wasn't a particularly memorable experience, if only for the fact that the man showed up on the brink of Sasuke collapsing from training for too long. He had appeared in the corner of Sasuke's vision just as it blurred and then he had still been there when Sasuke had eventually blinked exhausted eyes open.

"You are strong," the man had said to him, unabashed curiosity in his voice. "Yet no one sees you."

Sasuke had been on the brink of chakra exhaustion, so he had briefly wondered if he was hallucinating. "Are you real?"

"Do you often see figments of your imagination?" the man had asked in reply.

"I wish," Sasuke had muttered, eyes fluttering shut once more. "Then I wouldn't be so alone."

Sasuke had woken up in his bed, stiff muscles making it almost impossible for him to sit up to grab the cup of water pointedly left on his bedside table.

The man had returned the next evening, and all the evenings after that, always there when Sasuke's training has left him exhausted and indifferent. He introduces himself as Tobi and he watches Sasuke with one dark eye. Sasuke looks into it, sees the creeping tendrils of darkness, and does nothing to escape the net the man is forming around him. Sasuke could claim he was curious about what the man wanted, but he wasn't. Sasuke's weakness was attention paid specifically to him, so he let Tobi manipulate him to his heart's desire.

Sasuke looks over at Tobi, thinking about his observation. "Yes, I am invisible. I'm not special, not to them." There's implications in his words, that he's special to Tobi in some way, and while Sasuke can't see the man's face, he can feel the smug satisfaction he is exuding. Sasuke is unbothered. He let's Tobi believe that Sasuke doesn't see him, that Sasuke doesn't recognize the signature dark Uchiha eyes, nor the slips of scars he can see occasionally when his long sleeved shirt shifts and one unnaturally pale wrist is exposed. Sasuke doesn't know his real identity and he doesn't care to. This unknown Uchiha had chosen Sasuke to pay attention to, Sasuke to manipulate, and he was content with allowing the man to do just that.

One evening when Sasuke had stopped in the middle of training, Tobi had looked at him, eyes tilted curiously.

"Don't tell anyone," Sasuke had muttered, glancing up through his bangs. He then drew chakra towards his eyes and he physically felt the small spike of pain that came with using his Makngekyou Sharingan.

Tobi, though it went unseen, smiled.

-------------------------

"Sasuke," Tobi had whispered later, a gloved hand reaching up to lightly caress Sasuke's pale cheek. A single Mangekyou Sharingan stared down at him, benevolent cruelty swimming in their depths, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything," Sasuke had replied in kind, his own ruby eyes staring back.

"Kill them," Tobi, the man, the monster, the abomination, the black hole had whispered into his ear. His other arm raised, his hand teasingly reaching towards his mask, the air heavy with his silent incentive.

"Yes," Sasuke had whispered in reverence as the black hole that was Tobi was revealed to him.

The man grinned cruelly at him, false affection in his eyes. Sasuke saw through him, but didn't voice it. Tobi was looking at him. Who cares what he happened to be looking at him with?

"My name is Uchiha Obito," the black hole told him, hot puffs of air against Sasuke's ear making the hair on the back of his neck stand up, "and I see you, my bright, shining star."

Sasuke sucked in a breath, panting lightly as his chest rose and fell rapidly. His vision spun and he didn't bother to fight as he, a star never seen, began to collapse into itself.

"Obito," Sasuke whispered against soft lips.

"My star," Obito whispered in kind, cold lips meeting warm, compliant ones.

(Sasuke massacred his entire clan with a smile on his face.)

[myaekingheart]

78. A Farewell Fight

               A bittersweet smile touched Kakashi’s face as he looked upon the photo of him and his students from the day they made genin. It had only been a year since these kids entered his life, and yet so much had happened in such a short span of time. Sasuke had deflected from the village hellbent on revenge, Sakura was studying under Lady Tsunade to become a medic ninja, and in just two weeks Naruto would leave on a two and a half year training endeavor with Master Jiraiya. Kakashi never expected to have grown so attached to these kids, nor would he ever really admit it, but in a way he almost felt useless to them now. What more could he possibly give them that their new mentors couldn’t? He assumed this was the same feeling that parents had upon sending their children off to college or to live on their own or get married. There was only one thing left that he could manage and that was to give them a proper sendoff. According to the clock at his bedside, he had thirty minutes left. He zipped up his vest, fastened his headband, strapped on his shoes, and then disappeared. He would meet his students at the training ground soon, but there was one more thing that needed to be done.  

               Leaning in her dooway, Kakashi’s yearning was almost palpable. Had it not been a platonic yearning, the nature of the situation would’ve likely sent Rei into an internal breakdown. The more guarded she was, however, the more desperate Kakashi seemed to become. They weren’t her students and she was no longer his girlfriend. Logically there was really no point to this. But of course Kakashi refused to budge.

               “This is probably the last time I’ll be able to spend time with them before Naruto leaves” he explained. “I just want this to go well but I feel like at the current rate, I’m just not qualified.”

               “What do you mean not qualified?” Rei asked skeptically. This was blasphemous, he had to be embellishing. To think, Kakashi Hatake the Copy Ninja, sharingan user who copied over 1,000 jutsu, under-qualified.

               “Since Sakura started training with Lady Tsunade” he explained, “Her chakra infusing abilities are far surpassing my own. You, on the other hand…”

               “Oh, no! Don’t you start that!” Rei exclaimed, recoiling in defense. “I know exactly where you’re going with this! That flattery jutsu isn’t going to work on me!”

               Kakashi sighed and shook his head. “Alright” he admitted. “You’ve got me. I suppose I can’t fool you.” A proud grin flashed on Rei’s lips then as Kakashi turned on his heels to depart. As he did so, he peered at her over his shoulder, a twinkle in his eye, and added, “It really is a shame, though. I’m sure they’re going to be very disappointed to know you’re not coming. They seem to like you a lot, Rei. It would be a shame to let them down like this.” Dammit.

               Naruto fell back into the grass with a groan, staring up at the clouds overhead. “Why does Kakashi-sensei always have to be so late? I don’t have time for this!”

               Sakura rolled her eyes as she surveyed the area. She was admittedly disappointed but not surprised. “And what are you in such a hurry for?” she asked. “Are you really that desperate to get away from us all?”  She was truly happy for Naruto, receiving a once-in-a-lifetime chance like this, but a part of her also couldn’t help but feel slightly bitter and even betrayed. First Sasuke, now this. It was like everyone she cared about was leaving her. She couldn’t believe she was admitting to herself that she actually cared about Naruto in the first place.

               “I just have a lot of packing to do, okay?!” Naruto exclaimed defensively.

               “Let me guess” Sakura replied, “You haven’t even started.”

               Naruto pouted sheepishly, muttering something inaudible under his breath, then looked around again for any sign of Kakashi. “I give him five more minutes and then I’m walking!” he exclaimed. Sakura nodded in agreement. She had cleared her whole day for this, she was going to flip if it turned out to be a waste. To think, she could be back at the hospital perfecting her medical ninjutsu right now. The minute she thought that, however, she was overcome with remorse. Their little team was falling apart and deep down, she wanted to salvage whatever time they still had left together. Perhaps Kakash’s tardiness bothered her more because it challenged her perception of the day’s potential, this last hurrah, more than anything else. Either way, she gazed out across the training grounds and hoped their sensei would show up soon.

               And sure enough, right before his five minutes were up, Sakura and Naruto caught sight of Kakashi approaching. He smiled and waved at them, announcing, “Hey guys! Sorry I’m late. I had some errands that needed my immediate attention.” Naruto and Sakura looked at each other tiredly. It was always the same pool of excuses. This time, however, was different. Before they could rebuke, out from behind Kakashi popped none other than Rei.

               “What is she doing here?” Naruto asked in disbelief.

               Rei narrowed her eyes and pouted. “What? Do you not want me here? If you want me to go, then I’ll go.”

               “No, no, that’s not what we meant!” Sakura chimed in. “We just didn’t expect to see you, that’s all.”

               “Oh, really?” Rei asked, smirking at Kakashi with arms crossed. “And here I thought you said they were expecting me.”

               Kakashi chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes surprises can be good things” he replied.

               “Yeah, okay” Rei muttered under her breath. She really didn’t need to be here. She had plenty of other things she could be doing, like sleeping in or standing in front of the fridge eating chalky, expired chocolates in her underwear. If they didn’t want her here, then there was no reason for her to stay.

               She was about to turn on her heels and walk off when Sakura lurched forward, gripping her wrist, with a revelationary exclamation. “Wait a minute!” she shouted, and everyone froze, their curiosity piquing. “If you’re here with Kakashi-sensei, then does that mean you two are back together?!”

               Rei and Kakashi’s faces immediately went bright red, their entire bodies paralyzed. Rei cursed herself for waving off the possibility, whereas Kakashi was simply surprised that the topic arose so soon. If anything, he had expected (or maybe it was more that he hoped) his students would have questioned things in a much subtler way, the kind that would allow for him and Rei to perhaps have a private conversation about this later on. Now, the misunderstanding was so abrupt and blatant, there was no delicacy possible in it’s handling.

               After a few beats of silence, Kakashi cleared his throat and replied, “Not exactly, but that’s really not the main point of—”

               “So you’re not back together?” Naruto interrupted. And after all that hard work they put into sabotaging Rei’s blind date. How stupid were these two, anyway? They clearly still liked each other. Naruto may have had zero experience with relationships but even he could see that.

               Kakashi swung around and placed a hand on both of his student’s heads then, chuckling as he replied, “I don’t really think this is all that important right now! Besides, we came here to train and we wouldn’t want to waste our time, would we?” It was clear to Rei, at least, that he was trying his hardest to diffuse the situation before he lost his cool and shoved his fingers up both of their asses. He was not about to ruin their last training session together like this, nor was he going to let them ruin it for themselves.

               “So what exactly are we supposed to do?” Naruto asked, scratching his head.

               “The objective is simple, really” Kakashi replied. “You and Sakura are going to team up against Rei and myself. I want you both to come at us with the full intent to kill us. If you can knock us both down for at least ten seconds, you win the round. If you can’t, well…let’s just say your trip with Master Jiraiya might not be worth your time.” It was here that he turned and looked directly at Naruto, a condescending smile on his masked face. The young jinchuriki frowned at the insinuation, then reared up for battle.

               Round one went about as well as could be expected. Naruto and Sakura’s teamwork was still slightly unstable but they had made great progress. They had learned over the past few months to better interpret one another’s cues and predict their next movement. Naruto had grown stronger and Sakura more precise. Despite making great strides, though, the fight was far from easy.

               The difficult thing about fighting Rei was that Naruto and Sakura didn’t know her well enough to know her fighting style, her strengths, and her weaknesses. She was clever and stealthy, she could disappear in the blink of an eye, and she always knew wherever they were hiding. While she was a formidable opponent, there was, however, one thing that Naruto and Sakura knew they could use against her and the thought of it filled them both with so much bubbly energy, they could hardly contain themselves.

               Rei sunk into the grass chugging bottled water and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Kakashi had given them all a five minute respite before starting round two, and Rei was surprised to find she actually needed it. She watched Naruto and Sakura huddle up laughing and couldn’t help but smile. They weren’t even her students, but deep down Rei was proud. She could see the progress they had made and she knew it was thanks in part to Kakashi. She glanced at him as he crouched beside her with book propped open and for a moment, she naively thought he had not noticed. When he momentarily met her gaze, her entire body electrified.

               “Alright you two!” Kakashi called, setting his book aside. “Are you ready?” Naruto and Sakura immediately straightened up, suppressing laughter, as if they were kids nearly caught stealing from the cookie jar. And then they were off.

               Their movements were erratic and strange—they had definitely changed their tactics and quite frankly, it made Rei suspicious. They were usually sloppy and second-rate but now they flitted here and there with a grinning, carbonated purpose. As a result, Rei and Kakashi were especially cautious and guarded. They would have to be careful and look out for whatever unpredictable attack they faced next. The four of them went on like this for a while until eventually, somehow Rei and Kakashi had fallen into a particular rhythm. They raced across the battlefield like dancers performing pre-rehearsed choreography, their students shrinking the radius further and further. By the time the two of them realized what was happening, they were powerless to stop it.

               It was rather simple, really. A game of cat and mouse; lead the predator right into your trap. If executed well, it was foolproof. And now here they were, Kakashi racing toward Naruto while Sakura was summoning Rei all toward the epicenter of the battlefield. Right when they were close enough, Naruto grabbed Sakura’s wrist and together they bolted out of the fray. With their targets removed, Kakashi and Rei were barreling toward one another at full speed, guaranteed to collide. Rei’s heart pounded, the world suddenly shifting into slow motion, as she watched Kakashi inch nearer and nearer until finally their bodies connected with the ground. They tumbled through the dirt, tangled limbs and hot breath on exposed skin, until Kakashi’s entire body weight was firmly on top of her. Rei’s chest tightened and her hands went numb. With their foreheads nearly pressed together, she was completely incapable of breaking his gaze. For a fleeting moment, nothing else existed in the world but them.

               Naruto punched Sakura on the shoulder, giddy, and whispered, “I think it’s working!”

               Sakura nodded vigorously. “There’s no way they won’t get back together now! Look at the way they’re looking at each other!”

               She made a valid point—even from that distance, the passion in their gaze was unmistakable. Rei and Kakashi stayed there atop one another for a long, silent moment, paralyzed. She could feel her lips twitch and tingle, hungry to lean in and kiss him, but the desire only made her angry. Now was not the time for this. Not here. Not in this moment.

               Kakashi smiled sheepishly as he then lifted himself off of her, apologizing as he extended a hand to help her to her feet. She accepted then smoothed out her hair and brushed the dirt off her clothes. A strange anxiety was coursing through her body, leaving her uncharacteristically self-conscious as if she was twenty again and newly loved. The presence of this was, to say the least, jarring. How long had it been since she felt this way? Why did she really give up this feeling in the first place? She already knew why, but in the moment there seemed to be no valid explanation behind the act. She felt high, transcendant even. She felt in her a pulsating energy she had so long took for granted and since denied herself. This was a dangerous game she was playing. If she wasn’t careful, she would fall right back into that abyss.

               The moment Kakashi turned to his students across the field, he knew something was up. They straightened their backs, eyes wide, and shushed one another through restrained laughter. Kakashi strode forward and looked at them sharply. “Alright, you two, what’s so funny?” he asked.

               “Nothing, sensei!” Sakura replied, but her voice was high-pitched and shaky.

               Kakashi cocked a brow, unconvinced.

               “We were just thinking how it was kind of funny the way you and Rei fell on top of each other like that, you know?” Naruto chimed in. Sakura fed him a sharp side-glare, as if to say you really do suck at lying. Because of course that gave Kakashi all the confirmation he needed to know exactly what was going on.

               Sighing, he asked tiredly, “Didn’t I tell you before to stop meddling in other people’s love lives?”

               Rei approached the moment the question was posed, and even the mere utterance of love sent her heart haywire. She bit down on the inside of her cheek as a distraction, glancing from Naruto to Sakura and back in hopes of finding anything in their faces that might make her feel even mildly reassured. She was unfortunately defeated when she found none.

               The sun was just beginning to set when the four of them began the trek home. Their limbs were sore and their faces dewy with sweat, but Naruto and Sakura were still laughing and running rampant in the shifting streets. “Hey Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto then called, turning on his heel and walking backwards to face him. “We should go to Ichiraku Ramen! One last time before I leave!” Sakura nodded in agreement.

               As tempting as it was to say no for the sake of his wallet, Kakashi knew he couldn’t deny him. At least not this time. “Alright, Naruto” he sighed. “We can get some ramen.”

               Naruto plastered a cheerful grin on his face before exclaiming, “All four of us, right?”

               Rei paused, a rejection rising in her throat. Naruto looked at her expectantly, like a puppy begging for another treat, then Sakura followed suit, and then finally Kakashi. His expression was gentle but coaxing, hopeful. “Would you like to join us?” he asked, and his smooth voice only heightened her panic.

               It took her perhaps a few seconds too long to finally answer. “I, uh, I actually…I mean, I’d love to, don’t get me wrong, I just…I’m kind of tired, and my stomach is acting weird, so I think I might just…you know, head home. Try to get some rest.” God, I sound pathetic.

               “Okay” Kakashi replied, smiling, but she could tell he was disappointed. How did she get into this mess? Perhaps she could rescind her denial, say nevermind, I take it back, I will come along but it was too late now. She had already given a string of reasons justifying her departure. A slimy, uncomfortable feeling settled into her stomach as she bid them goodbye and turned around.

               Her apartment was dark and colder than usual when she returned. She shut the door quietly behind her, locked it, and then pressed her back against it with a sigh, fully prepared to let the loneliness consume her. Shut away, she was given perfect audience with her thoughts and fuck, were they loud. An overwhelming fear enveloped her, a nagging stream of questions and doubts. She suddenly felt as if her entire life was a checkbook register where somewhere she had fudged the math and was now pummeling through page after page of consequential miscalculations. All her life, all she had ever wanted was Kakashi’s love, attention, and approval. Now he was readily giving it to her in spades and yet she had backed away. She eyed the photo on her desk of her and her team in their youth, her heart breaking at the sight of Naru. That was what all of this really came down to: the loss of Naru. She would know what to do about this. She would make things right. She would sit cross-legged on the edge of Rei’s bed, starlight in her eyes, and tell her exactly what she needed to hear, but she would cover it in sprinkles and a large dollop of pink frosting. But if Naru were still here, none of the rest of this would be happening. Her and Kakashi never would’ve broken up, and she would never have had to feel the debilitating guilt and nausea of leading her best friend to death. She didn’t deserve to be happy. She didn’t deserve Kakashi’s love. She deserved nothing but pain and loneliness and suffering. Her line of sight drifted toward the kanzashi on her desk and for a moment, she considered—

               No. She squeezed her forearms in each opposite hand, arms crossed about her chest, and fell back onto the bed with an animalistic groan. Not tonight. She couldn’t afford the aftermath. She stared up at the ceiling, counting the seams between each slat of wood, and started to cry. She may have deserved to be alone, but it was another matter entirely of whether or not she wanted to be. Her body still ached from Kakashi’s proximity when he fell on top of her, the way that in that moment, for once everything seemed okay. For once the relentless thoughts of death and deserving were silenced and all that mattered was just him and her. Rei wrapped her arms tight around her stomach then, curling up into a fetal position, and gazed out at village skyline stretched out before her. Somewhere out there, there were answers. Somewhere out there, there was peace. Somewhere out there, there was bound to be a version of herself who knew what she wanted and never questioned whether she was worth it, a world in which nothing else mattered but her and him and in which everything was finally okay.