#but at least I have a vale monster with me I guess

[kingofthering]

Not sure which fucked-up position I managed to sleep in but my shoulder sure isn’t enjoying it.

[bridgyrose]

Weiss pulled the hood of her cloak up as she walked through the busy streets of Vale, her senses bombarded by the sounds and smells of the faire. The smells of fried meats and bread filled the air, almost making up for the music and sounds that were just too loud for her. Though, it wasnt like she hadnt realized what would happen when she made her way into the kingdom. Afterall, she’d spent years listening to the festivities outside the walls of the kingdoms, only ever catching glimpses of the food and costumes as she lurked in the shadows. 

And now, here she was, finally among the people she had watched. For the first time in years, she felt free. Able to be herself without worrying about becoming a monster or causing problems. At least… until she bumped into someone and heard the all too familiar sound of steel clattering against the ground. Weiss’s body froze as she slowly turned around. “I-I’m sorry-” 

“Its fine,” a woman said with a smile. “I should’ve been watching where I was going.” 

All Weiss could do was watch as the woman picked up her folded weapon. Silver eyes stared back at her through red streaked black hair. A blush crossed her lips and she offered a hand to the woman. “I-I think it was my fault this time. I’m… I’m Weiss.” 

“Ruby,” Ruby answered as she took Weiss’s hand. “Did you travel far to come for the festival?” 

“S-sort of,” Weiss answered back, unable to pull her eyes away from Ruby. She wasnt sure if it was the silver eyes that captivated her, the red cloak that practically draped down her shoulders, or if it was the kindness that she received, but she knew this girl was going to be important to her. “I’m from a small village. Though, I should be leaving soon.” 

“You should stay for the festival. If you’re from that far away, who knows when you’ll be able to come back.” 

“I guess I could stay-” 

“Great! I know exactly what you should see!” 

Weiss felt herself get pulled down the street by Ruby, unable to escape her grip as pulled deeper into the festivities. Stalls lined both sides of the streets with different masks, costumes, foods, and trinkets available for purchase along with a few children’s games for people to play. But none of that mattered as she watched Ruby keep a smile on her face as she started to slow down her pace, talking about each stall that she enjoyed. Not that Weiss caught a word of it, still a bit too overwhelmed by the noises around her to really focus on Ruby’s words. 

“-and you get some fried fish from over here.” Ruby paused for a moment and slowed down. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Weiss said quietly as she moved a bit closer to Ruby, eyes still glued to the stalls along the street. Her senses were becoming overwhelmed from the smells of the food and the sounds of the music and people chatting around. “C-can we get somewhere quieter?” 

“Sure, but that would take us out of the festival-” 

“That’s fine. I-I uh… didnt realize how loud it was going to be here.” 

“Yeah, sure, we… we can leave for a bit.” 

Weiss relaxed a bit as she followed Ruby out of the festival. Though, as she watched the smile on Ruby’s face fade away, her heart started to ache. She stopped briefly and tugged a bit on Ruby’s arm. “You really like this festival, dont you?” 

Ruby nodded and slowed to another stop. “I do. Its a festival that celebrates the founding of Vale, our harvests… its everything about who we are.” 

“I… I guess we can stay close then, I…” Weiss sighed and held her arm to her chest. “Its a bit loud for me.” 

“Maybe we can find something to help with the noise. I’m sure one of the stalls will have earmuffs available.”  

“You think so?” 

“Its close enough to fall that I’m sure someone will have it. But, we’ll need to get a bit deeper into the festivities. Do you trust me?” 

Weiss paused for a moment as she watched Ruby, still not sure how much she trusted her. And yet, she couldnt find any reason not to. Ruby knew Vale, was familiar with everything the city offered, and her smile was inviting. So, she gave a nod. “I trust you.” 

“Great! And then we can also get you a couple of protection charms as well.” 

“Protection charms?” Weiss asked as she felt herself being pulled again. This time, she didnt get an answer as Ruby dragged her through the stalls until they found one that sold small earmuffs for the cooling weather. She slowly put them on and relaxed as the sounds of the festival started to feel more bearable for her. 

Once Ruby had paid for the earmuffs, she felt herself pulled through the festival once more. The smells of food started to become less overwhelming as they made their way deeper, Weiss’s eyes on all the costumes and dancers that they passed. The way the beads and sequins reflected the light made her stop, almost as if each article of clothing was made to tell a story with the way each of the dancers moved. For a moment, she felt like a kid again before she was bitten. Wonder filled her eyes as she watched the reflection of lights and colors, entranced by everything that she hadnt noticed when Ruby had left, only when she had come back with some fried meat buns. 

Ruby offered one to her with a smile. “Try one.” 

Weiss nodded and gently took one, taking a small bite. She slowly chewed on it as she savored the taste and the way the bread and meat almost seemed to melt in her mouth. “These are soo good! Are they common during this festival?” 

“They are,” Ruby answered as she took a bite of her own. “Its tradition to share them with people you consider friends. And after the day we’ve spent together, I hope I could consider you one of mine.” 

“You can,” Weiss said with her mouth full. She quickly swallowed and started to relax a bit as she looked up to the night sky. The moon was still days away from being full, the sky was clear and the stars had started to shine down on the city. For the first time in many years, Weiss had finally felt at peace. 

Ruby smiled and offered a small charm to Weiss. “Another tradition is to give a charm to someone to protect them from the spirits. No one believes in that anymore, but its still a nice thought.” 

“A-are you sure you’re okay with giving me one? I’m still a stranger and-” 

“And someone I would like to consider a friend. Even if we didnt meet in the most conventional of ways.” 

Weiss gave Ruby a smile and reached to grab the charm out of her hand, flinching and pulling her hand back as the small charm burned her. She took a step back, bumping into a stand behind her and knocking over a few of the charms that were being sold. A couple charms fell against the back of her hand, burning her as she let out a yelp. 

“Is everything okay?” Ruby asked. 

“I-I’m fine.” Weiss quickly looked herself over once she realized a few people were staring at her from the scene she had just caused. Once she was certain she still looked human, she flashed Ruby another quick smile. “But I think its about time for me to start going home.” 

“Are you sure you cant stay? The festival isnt over yet-” 

“I’m sure.” Weiss leaned and quickly kissed Ruby’s cheek, only to feel her cheek burn from the touch of the silver earrings Ruby wore. She pulled back once more and pulled her hand to her cheek, heart racing as her fingers started to shake. Quiet whispers were caught as she looked around at everyone around her, noticing more people had started to come around her and Ruby. 

“Did she just get burned?” someone asked. 

“I didnt see any fire near her,” another answered. 

“Maybe she’s a monster.” 

Weiss took a few steps back, then turned and started to run off. “I need to go!” 

“Wait!” Ruby called out. “Dont leave yet!” 

Weiss didnt hear Ruby, running down the street, out of the festival and towards the city gate. She had to get out before anything else got worse or before she got burned again. Once she was outside the city, she made her way to the forest, shifting once she was sure she was out of sight from anyone that would see her. She laid down under a few trees, glad the darkness hid her white fur. 

A branch cracked and she slowly stood up as she faced the direction of the noise. She kept low as she heard the snap of another branch, looking up in the trees. She found herself face to face with a silver blade, and then the familiar face of Ruby above her. 

Ruby slowly pulled the blade away as she stared at the wolf in front of her. “W-Weiss?” 

Weiss nodded and slowly shifted, eyes still on Ruby. There she stood, clothes torn under her cloak, white wolf ears and tail only visible from the outline they left under her cloak. “I-I can… explain.” 

“I… I’m going to get some food,” Ruby said as she quietly put her scythe away. “And then you can explain what exactly you are.”

[howlingday]

If you're feeling up for it I Have a Suggestion for the Tragic Backstory™ Au:

Jaune, Exhausted with all the antics of people trying to marry him, or disrupting his families lives, even Nora with her dumb Betting Pool, makes an announcement, finally using the Rumors to his advantage in a way that definitely won't backfire:

His Queen has been fortold; She is one Who's Bones are as tough as steel, Lightning Coursing through her veins as blood, Hair as full and Bright as a Harvest moon, and ... uh ... She Flies like a Comet. A green Comet. Yeah. Nobody like that on Remmnant!

Huh? Penny's Coming to Visit?

I Am Coming Ready!

Jaune: (Takes a deep breath) Okay. Let's do this.

Pyrrha: You're not hyperventilating this time. All those breathing exercises are finally kicking in, huh?

Jaune: I guess. Thanks again for teaching me some tricks to deal with this public speech stuff.

Pyrrha: Of course, Jaune. But, are you sure about this? I mean, you're going to be addressing a lot of people today?

Jaune: I know, but... I have to. This lie has going on for far too long, and I have to tell people the truth.

Ren: She's right, though. At least three of the five Kingdoms will be watching you with keen interest.

Jaune: Three?

Ren: (Nods) Vale, Atlas, and Mistral. There will be hundreds, perhaps even thousands watching your every move, studying, plotting against you to strike at your moment of weakness.

Jaune: ...Did someone bring a brown paper bag?

Nora: I did! (Holds up bag) It's got brownies in it~!

Jaune: ...Can I have one?

Nora: Mmmmmmmmm, no.

Jaune: Can I at least have the bag?

Nora: Mmmmmmmmm-

Ren: It's time, Jaune.

Jaune: But-! But-! My bag!

Nora: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-

---------------------------------------------------

Winter: Here's your report on the repairs, General, sir.

Ironwood: Thank you, Schnee. Leave it on my desk.

Winter: How's the press conference?

Ironwood: It's starting. Look at him, stepping out with such stiff motions. Are we certain he has no bionics?

Winter: There's nothing in Atlas records that confirms this, sir. It could be he's just nervous.

Ironwood: This man took on Adam Taurus, a ruthless leader of an international terrorist cell, and killed a Grimm Dragon that's sliced up one of our battleships. There's no way this man is scared of all five Kingdoms watching him.

Winter: ...Wyvern, sir.

Ironwood: Huh?

Winter: The official reports are calling a "Wyvern," sir.

Ironwood: It's a giant scaly monster with wings and probably breathes fire.

Winter: Still called a "Wyvern," sir.

Ironwood: ...It seems we are at an impasse. Perhaps we should call Penny?

Winter: Unfortunately, sir, Penny isn't here.

Ironwood: Ah, that's right. She took leave. Where did she go?

Winter: She left this morning from the bullhead station, sir.

Ironwood: What bullhead did she leave on?

Winter: She didn't, sir.

---------------------------------------------------

Theodore: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was a good one!

Xanthe: Headmaster, please, I'm begging you. Students are staring. I'm pretty sure he can hear you in Vale.

Theodore: It's funny, though, Rumpole! This kid comes outta nowhere, gets called a king, kills a dragon with a horse and spear, and now he's saying he's not a king to all these people!

Xanthe: It's not that funny.

Theodore: It's hilarious! Oh, I wanna fight him real bad! I've never punched a king before!

Xanthe: Sir, that'll cause an international incident.

Theodore: ...

Xanthe: You'll go to jail.

Theodore: ...

Xanthe: You won't be allowed to fight anymore.

Theodore: ...What about dueling? Would dueling be out of the question?

Xanthe: (Sighs)

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: No. No. That's not- Look, whatever beef Adam Taurus and I had was over that night we fought, okay?

Reporter: Beef! Ha! That's going in the paper!

Jaune: No! No! It's not like that!

---------------------------------------------------

Lil Miss: (Via scroll) You havin' fun out there, girls?.

Melanie: Yes, Mom.

Lil Miss: Good. I'd hate to pay Roman another visit because he still can't take care of you.

Miltia: He's nothing, Mom.

Lil Miss: Nothin but trouble, you mean.

Roman: (Sighs)

Lil Miss: By the way, girls, just makin sure, but you know about that king nonsense goin on, right?.

Melanie: Yes, Mom.

Lil Miss: You girls stay away from all of that business, you hear me?.

Miltia: Aw, but he's so cute!

Lil Miss: And almost half your age, but that's not the point. The point is that boy king is nothin but trouble. Somethin bad is gonna happen to him, I just know it.

Roman: Yeah? And what do you know?

Lil Miss: Oh, you should know that by now, Roman. I know what I know, and I don't give hand-outs.

---------------------------------------------------

Sienna: More tea?

Kali: No, thank you. (Sips tea) He's doing well, isn't he?

Ghira: They're eating him alive out there.

Sienna: Not even you were this bad in your first public speech, Ghira.

Kali: Really? What was he like?

Sienna: An absolute mess. I actually threw a tomato at him, and he started sniveling!

Ghira: I knew that was you in the crowd!

Sienna: He was going on about "managing our resources" and "not letting what we've gained go to waste"! I felt the mood called for ironic comedy.

Kali: Hahaha! That's so cute!

Ghira: You're both the worst. (Sniffs, Inhales) Promised myself I wouldn't cry.

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: No! No! I am not "seducing" anyone for a "progeny"! What the hell are you-?!

Jaune: Okay, you wanna know who I'm dating right now, since you're all so into these fairy tales?! Well, if it'll get you people to leave me and my family alone, then I'll tell you!

Jaune: My "queen" is a woman with bones as hard as iron- No, as steel! With a heart that pumps lightning through her veins! And her hair is a red and foreboding as a Blood Moon! And she has eyes that shine with a light that gleams and glimmers with lover's light! Oh, but here's the kicker! She flies! Yeah, that's right, she soars through the air, faster than any comet or shooting star in the sky! In a ball of green fi-

SHOOOOOOO-BOOM!

Jaune: (Coughs, Waves hand) What the...?

Lisa: Get a camera on him!

Cyril: Yes, ma'am!

Jaune: Wait... PENNY?!

Penny: (Blows dust away, Strikes a pose, Smiling, Pink eyes) I am here for my beloved!

Jaune: Ah... Crap-baskets...

[littlebetesofeverything]

Welcome to Night Vale Ep 19A

Whoo, I passed and then enjoyed a weekend of fun and travel. I am definitely moving next year, but fingers crossed I get my number 1 destination of choice. Now I can enjoy these next 2 episodes in peace.

I'm interested because this one has both A and B episodes? Cool

My one thing about Cecil, is that I sometimes don't know if he is using sarcasm.

oh no, property damage. But I agree on the raccoon point.

"pretend that mere walls are enough" that should be the new slogan for the US during hurricane season.

I forgot about Spiderwolves. All I remember is that it was part of a Ned's Declassified episode. Now that is how you use telepathy.

Dragging Desert Bluffs is always lovely.

Okay, now this sandstorm is becoming more Night Vale like. Is that why we have a B version?

Larry Leroy is an amazing name, ngl. "Consequences were a choice" sounds incredible.

OOHhhhhhh. yeah, that is why it is A and B, huh?

"Not unpleasently" is certainly one way to describe it, I'm sure. Wait is financial?

oh man, if Night Vale has an emergency, it HAS to be an emergency. Ah, now the doppelganger fun is starting.

Yeah, let's not kill the doppelganger just in case that breaks the continuum. Although I want to meet the person who keeps a sword on hand.

Oh shit, someone is dead. I bet that stapler has the murder weapon. Cecil, I love your priorities. Fuck Steve Carlsberg.

This was a cloud seeding experiment? Give Steve a break, he might not have listened to you Cecil, or the mayor.

Yeah, you suffer in silence when your government fucks up. I would like to argue about helpful pandemics though.

Now there is a VORTEX???? Cecil, snap out of this babe. You curious shit! GET BACK HERE DAMNIT!

UHHH, who the fuck is Kevin? and is he from Desert Bluffs? Screw this guy.

Ah, Desert Bluff also got caught in the sandstorm. That is my guess at least.

Cecil description now, please give me. Well this gives nothing, thank you Stupid Kevin.

I don't like him, give me Cecil back, that is not a plea. It is a demand.

Don't think you can just use the weather to distract me. Even if it is soothing and sorta relaxing.

Oh thank god, Cecil is back. NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! I have two different ideas now on what Cecil looks like: monster or radiohost.

Yes we are all alive, thank goodness. Can we circle back to how Cecil may want an exorcism for Stupid Kevin touching his stuff.

Yeah, I am just gonna hit play on the next one.

[invested-in-your-future]

Why do you hate Ever After? It looks cool.

Where to begin...where to even begin...

First of all, It clashes with the established Remnant aesthetic

And like not in a GOOD way where you have this different place. It just outright does not fit and feels like its right out of some other different work (because IT IS - they just copy pasted Wonderland without adapting it to Remnant setting or aesthetic).

Let me remind you what RWBY setting is

The key element aesthetically is that the world itself is close to contemporary. Its part of the selling point. And its necessary. Sure There's variation like Mistral and Atlas both of which have their design and thematic issues (Mistral being basically a filler Kingdom with nothing but forests and orientalist locations and Atlas literally running on magic), but they still fit in the same "aesthetic".

Why? Part of it is to sell the absurd transforming weapons and superpowers and eldritch monsters. The setting being this way grounds those elements. We are repeatedly told that Semblances, Aura, etc aren't just simply some magical thing. They are very much grounded with their limitations, science, etc. They are things that are tied to human progress and development.

The first thing we see in show is Ruby fighting off robbers with an oversized sniper-rifle-scythe.

That's what is basically establishing scene for the setting. OF THE SHOW

Whether its Vale, Mistral or Atlas, its a story of human beings in a contemporary world, following contemporary semi-realistic rules and logic. There's specific logic that comes with the aesthetic and specific kind of coherence.

Its the story where politicking between kingdoms, discrimination of marginalized minorities, classism, authoritarian governments, unshackled and morally dubious science exist. Its the setting where normal people, huntsmen, criminal organizations and conspiring revolutionaries live. Its the story of human nature and ambiguity and self-destructivity that can hold.

The specific look and setting is what drew a lot of people to the story in the first place. I mean the Red Trailer's biggest aesthetic selling point is "OH WOW IS THAT A GIRL IN A RED CAPE WITH A SCYTHE-SNIPER-RIFLE FIGHTING MONSTERS?!". Weiss trailer adds other elements and a grounded sense of violence and darkness as she gets her scar, Blake's trailer emphasizes the contemporary even more with mechs, robots and trains. Yang's trailer is outright set in a club.

Now, you can do weird within the aesthetic. Salem's "place" is extremely weird looking but fits (at least the early incarnations of it before all the silly two gods things).

It looks intentionally "off" and destroyed but it still retains same "style" while looking considerably more eldritch. You can still have recognizable elements there and in style and as much as Salem is "different" looking, she's still pretty much a human character, just a bit more eldritch. Its the same aesthetic but warped.

Now can you guess what's different about this:

If to ignore the absolute nightmare in terms of overall composition, it's outright different show (or, well, game).

Its a zany goofy Wonderland filled with immortal creatures and talking animals. There's nothing tying this to Remnant aesthetic. It just IS THERE because writers willed it to be there.

That not only clashes with intended aesthetic, it clashes with suspension of disbelief too.

Ever After breaks whatever is left in terms of Suspension of Disbelief.

Remember how I said the setting is kind of necessary to sell the more "out there" fighting moments or other elements?

The very premise of realm like EA existing breaks that.

TALKING ANIMALS.

Just let that sink in.

Now let it sink in that in RWBY now there's a setting where logic, as well as cause and effect is not necessary because everything runs on Magic. Nothing needs explanation because MAGIC. Nothing needs cause and effect because DIVINE GREATER WILL decides things happen or don't happen.

How are you supposed to take ANYTHING in Remnant seriously next when there's this huge vomit stain on the setting where ANYTHING GOES?

Are we supposed to view "Two Gods" as these incomprehensible beings toying with humanity or these goofy uwu dragon teenagers in their rebelous phase against magic tree dad?

Are we supposed to be disturbed by Grimm or more eldritch aspects of the setting like before when there are TALKING ANIMALS LITERALLY NEXT DOOR???

Are we supposed to take death seriously when its not even an universal concept anymore and plot can break the rules whenever it wants?

Are we supposed to be worried for characters and their emotional state when the show has proudly proclaimed that psychological trauma isn't real????

Are we supposed to believe Dust is grounded in logic and science, when, well you catch my drift.

Third of All, Its the writers doublingTRIPLING down on what DOESN'T WORK.

So yeah, Two Gods was silly concept and idea and broke the story. Remnant always was built up as something that naturally came to be via evolution and advancement of civilization. We started the show with Humanity learning to use Dust to beat back the Creatures of Grimm. There's specific effort to establish a sense of agency for civilization - the idea that Vale, Mistral, Atlas, Vacuo all can go in different directions on their own and have different ideals and beliefs. The idea of cause and consequence of human actions and human morality. The creationist Two Gods Nonsense shatters all of that. Suddenly the agency humanity has is gone. Suddenly its all part of Greater Plan. Suddenly Morality is a TEST rather than ambiguous choice with it's consequences. Suddenly its not the story about humanity's own nature, but the story of a scorned lover raging against the havens and dooming humanity with sin.

So yeah, Relics and literally everything in the world being tied to Relics was silly concept and idea and broke the story. We were led to believe that the Kingdoms were a naturally developing thing, that technology rose to it's heights via, well...the same way it does in our world. Sure most of technology was running on Dust but it was still science. The focus on Relics essentially paints science as FAKE. Atlas, the show's expy for unparalleled and unbound scientific progress, exists because of a relic. Does anything in Remnant's civilization happen because of the civilization itself and not because of Relics or Salem? The way the relics are used completely ruins that aspect.

HEY LET'S DO IT AGAIN. But this time its a zany whacky Alice in Wonderland Realm filled with talking animals, goofy creatures, ridiculous landscapes and LITERAL GODS (as in more than two). Oh and everything is predestined. Oh and trauma isn't real. Oh and the decision to go to Vacuo and do things there is also A MISSION FROM GOD now.

Last but not least, its a "filler padding dimension of Character Development (Minus the ACTUAL Development)

The showrunners legit said "we can't really do this characterization stuff within relevant plot, let's stuff everyone in a side-quest dimension"

That alone is insulting because it insinuates the development and characterization of the FOUR LEAD CHARACTERS is SECONDARY to EVERYTHING ELSE.

And then the showrunners legit made nothing there matter.

Ruby's trauma exploration ends with the cast proclaiming Ruby is flawless and healthy and always right. Trauma doesn't matter, Trauma is just "haterzzz". Oh look Ruby is cheerful and happy again without really ever dealing with dozens of issues she has. NOTHING MATTERS!

Blake and Yang finally get together but the underlying issues between them aren't even touched upon. They just simply are together now. Who needs to actually address the problems they had with each other or any of those things or actually have characters talk with each other when you can just have Divine Greater Will do it.

Weiss and Blake outright don't have a character arc here. In fact, Blake hasn't had one ever since the very unfortunate conclusion to WF arc. Likewise, Yang still has absolutely zero characterization in regards to her trauma or her disability. Even beyond that Yang has zero characterization in terms of her aimlessness and search of identity and the supposedly strained relationship with her sister. She just is there.

The Issue with Team's bonds is LITERALLY swept aside.

Jaune's actions are never ever really brought up. ONE CONSEQUENCE he got, his age, is magically reversed.

Y'all literally made a goofy magic Character Development Dimension from scratch with COMPLETELY NEW locations, character designs and monsters, filled it with TALKING animals and then had nothing of note happen there.

Nothing is learned, nothing matters.

You could LITERALLY offscreen all of V9 and just start V10 saying the cast sorted out their issues in between Volumes and nothing would change. It would be better.

I am not even going to get into the ABSOLUTELY PROBLEMATIC NATURE OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING IN EVER AFTER, be it representation or treatment of mental health because that would be another big post in on itself.

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

Jaune was asked to be the photographer in Jessica's Cinder shoot, and he was more than happy to see her in a bikini at the Beacon pool. When they were done, her method of payment was laying back on a pool chair as Jaune fucked her breasts and splattered her face wit cum. The real Cinder was quite jealous.

So here’s my first attempt at a real smut/non sfw written piece with Jessica Nigri. I’m actually very nervous about posting this. I’ve been working on this for a while, constantly debating if I should even do it the entire time. I really hope this doesn’t make me look like a creep, but I also really wanted to finally try writing more raunchy stuff with Jessica Nigri. 

But I put too much work into this to just NOT post it, so I guess we will all  see how this first one goes and whether or not I’ll do anymore. 

I’ll also be posting this to my Archive of Our Own account HERE.

So you all have been warned, what follows is a sort of one-shot (for now) smut piece of Jessica Nigri. You don’t enjoy stuff like that, you don’t have to read past this point.

*SNAP* *SNAP* *SNAP*

The gorgeous Jessica Nigri stretched her arms out over her head and let out a throaty moan. She was currently standing waist deep in the pool in the backyard of her house. Her stretch also ‘unintentionally’ pushed out her chest, making her red and gold bikini strain to keep her well endowed chest contained. She opened her eyes, revealing that her irises were gold instead of brown, and looked over at Jaune who was so kind to offer to be her cameraman after her usual photographer bailed on her just that morning. 

She ran her hands through her hair, which was now raven black instead of her usual blonde, and held that pose for the next set of pictures Jaune was going to take.

*SNAP* *SNAP*

Jaune, to his credit, did a great job at focusing on just taking the pictures and doing his job. It wasn’t easy. It got hard to maintain focus when Jessica started to pose more and more provocatively. He didn’t stare, but he had to check the pictures to make sure they were okay. With seeing so many sexy pictures, he couldn’t help the hard on that formed in his white swim trunks. He did the best he could to conceal it, but it was pointless.

Jessica saw the bulge forming from the start. She wasn’t offended or disgusted. She know the effect she had on guys and even some girls. She knew Jaune wasn’t a pervert, he just genuinely thought she was very attractive. That made her smirk a little proudly. It was nice knowing he thought she was pretty not just because she had big boobs.

*SNAP* 

Jessica stopped posing and relaxed her body. She sighed and moved towards the stairs of her pool. As she started getting out, she looked to Jaune. “Alright Jaune, I think that’s plenty to work with. Thanks again so much for helping me out on such short notice.”

Jaune looked up from the camera screen, a bit startled by Jessica’s sudden voice. “Y-you sure? We could get a few more if you want.”

“Nah it’s fine. You’ve already taken at least 200 already. Put down the camera and I’ll go inside to get you your money.”

Jaune lowered the camera to waist level, but quickly waved his hand to dismiss Jessica’s. “No no, you don’t need to pay me. I was happy just to help out a friend.” 

Jessica dramatically rolled her eyes at his dismissal. Seriously, he could really be too nice for his own good. “Jaune, I’m serious! You took four hours out of your Saturday off from Beacon to come down to Vale and help me with my shoot. I’m paying you.”

Jaune just sighed loudly. “Jessica, you don’t need to do that.”

Jessica grabbed a towel and started drying off her lower body as she fired back, “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

“I’m serious Jessica.”

“So am I.”

The bickering between the two friends continued for a few more minutes with the same pattern. Jessica would insist that Jaune take money from her, and he would decline each and every offer. 

Their ‘argument’ finally ended when Jaune yelled, “I’m not taking your money Jessica!”

Jessica just groaned in frustration. She was getting really annoyed now. How selfless (or stubborn) do you have to be not to accept money you did a job to earn?!  She huffed, blowing a strand of her now black hair off to the side, and crossed her arms under her ample chest. When her girls got pushed up a little because of that, she looked down at them. Then she got a naughty little idea.

“Oh alright, fine Jaune. You don’t have to take my money.”

Jaune sighed in relief. He didn’t like bickering with his friends, especially over something as silly as this. He knows he did earn the money, but he just wouldn’t feel right taking money from his friends. “Thank you Jessica, I just don’t like tak-”

“You can just fuck my big tits instead~.”

Jessica had barely finished saying her newest offer when Jaune promptly froze and turned bright red. The camera slipping from his stiff fingers jogged some life back into Jaune. He fumbled with the camera a few times before getting a solid grip on it again. He rigidly turned to look at the beautiful woman who just made his heart stop. She looked very amused with Jaune’s panic. She wasn’t laughing out loud, but her golden eyes lit up while her upper body shook a little with laughter that she was holding back with tightly shut lips.

It took a minute, but Jessica finally reeled in her shaking and Jaune managed to calm down his blush a little. Now instead of it being his whole face, only his cheeks and ears were red. 

Jessica spoke first, her lips in a wide and somewhat smug grin. “Wow. That was quite the-*snrk* reaction, ha ha ha.” 

“W-well c-can you blame me!?” Jaune defended himself. “Y-you can’t just go making jokes like that! H-how did you expect me to react!”

“I wasn’t joking.” 

…

Jaune’s head tilted to the side, the blush on his face being replaced with a look of confusion. “Huh?”

“I was serious. I’ll give you a boobjob.”

Jaune had zero idea how to respond to that. 

So instead, his jaw just went slack and hung open in disbelief. Jessica did him a favor and stepped closer to him. She raised his jaw up with one slender finger on his chin to close his mouth. She slid her nail lightly along the underside of his jawline back towards his ear and then up towards his chin again, flicking her finger off when she ran out of track to follow. The small smirk still on her lips, she asked, “So how do you wanna go about it?”

Jaune sputtered while the red coloring flowed back to his entire face, before managing to speak. “Jessica! How could you say something like that?!” 

“What’s the big deal?”

Jaune looked away sheepishly. “Y-you shouldn’t throw your body around like that. I-it’s not right. Your body isn’t something to use like a tool. Especially not for payment.”

Jessica’s brow scrunched up a bit in confusion, before her eyes lit up with realization.“Oooooh, Jaune you’re-” Jessica stopped herself and thought for a bit. He thought that she was offering her body just to pay him back for his help. ‘Oh for the love of-!…Jaune, why do you have to be so sweet and cute, but sooo dense! Okay, blunt it is.’ “Okay Jaune, how about this. I’m going to tell you, very clearly, what I meant by what I said.”

“O-okay?”

“I WANT you to fuck my tits.” Before Jaune could make a sound at hearing this new revelation, Jessica continued. “You weren’t the only one who couldn’t help sneaking a few glances.” 

Jaune’s brow raised in confusion. “W-wha?”

Jessica grinned almost hungrily at him. She bit her glossy lower lip and moved her index finger to point down several times. “Those white trunks of yours aren’t that great at hiding anything~.”

Jaune’s eyebrows scrunched together a bit in confusion. He looked down to see what she was referring to, and promptly turned red.

Jaune had apparently gotten a bit distracted by Jessica because he had completely forgotten about the stiff problem in his trunks and stopped trying to hide it some time ago. Well that problem hadn’t gone down in the least. Jessica’s proposition hadn’t helped either. His boner had shifted and started pressing into the front of his trunks full force, making a bulge that no one could miss.

“So what do ya say~?”

Jaune’s attention shot back up to Jessica. While he was looking down at his own crotch, she had moved very close to him. So close they were almost touching. Jaune had to tilt his head a bit to look down at her. He accidently looked down a little too far though and ended up staring directly down her cleavage since her wonderful, bountiful chest was only an inch away from touching his.

As much as Jaune wanted to, he couldn’t look away. 

Jessica noticed that he was staring again almost immediately. With a smirk, she quickly bounced on the balls of her feet several times, getting her tits to bounce and jiggle beautifully in her tight red bikini top. Jaune’s eyes stayed locked on them. 

“You wanna see if my big girls can help out with your little friend down there~?” Jessica’s eyes had a teasing glint, not that Jaune noticed. He just nodded his head to say yes, or he was still tracking her bouncing tits. Either way, both were good enough for Jessica. She gently took his hand and led him over to the closest pool chair next to a small glass table. 

Jessica turned around and sat down on the soft, yellow cushion on the chair. She had to admit it felt pretty nice against her ass cheeks since it was warmed under the sun all day. She brought hands up to undo the knotted string on Jaune’s swim trunks and gently slid them down. The white trunks dropped to Jaune’s ankles, the man’s breath hitching when they did, and it was Jessica’s turn to stare.

Jaune’s very, very hard cock sprung free, no longer being confined in those trunks that now looked way too small to Jessica. ‘How did they manage to keep this dick contained? It has to be a good seven inches at least!’ The seven inch monster in question stood directly out from Jaune’s crotch, completely rigid and with the head aimed directly at her face.

Jessica stared down the shaft of the huge cock, not blinking. She inched her face closer to it briefly, but she pulled back just before her lips touched it. As much as she might want to, that wasn’t the deal. ‘There will probably be another time for that anyways~.’ Jessica heard Jaune whimper though when she pulled away. She glanced up at him with a small smirk. “Don’t worry Jaune, you’re gonna get something else. I think it will be even better too~.”

Jessica swung her legs up onto the lawn chair and scooted back on it. She arched her back and pushed out her chest before laying down against the inclined backrest. She reached over to the glass table and picked up the bottle of sunscreen that was on it next to her scroll. She hadn’t used it for the shoot, but it was always nice to be prepared for anything. After all, she was about to get some great use out of it now.

She flicked open the lid and turned it over right above her tits. She stared directly at Jaune with complete confidence as she squeezed the bottle and felt the chilly white cream landed all over the top and into the valley of her cleavage. For a good five seconds, Jessica just kept layering up the sunscreen. Finally the long, white stream from the bottle ended with a small pouf. She closed the lid and put it back down on the side table next to the chair. She jokingly cleared her throat and looked back to Jaune. 

With a smile, she grabbed her own tits, almost slamming her hands down on the soft D cup mounds, still covered by her bikini top. Jaune unconsciously let out a high pitched noise when he saw those big mounds flatten a bit under her hands. His eyes stayed locked on her big tits as her hands slowly began to roll them around. The large amount of sunscreen on top of and in between them slowly began to get spread around every inch of her flawless skin, especially in the wonderful valley between her boobs.

Her smooth, tan skin was soon covered in obvious white streaks from the sunscreen being rubbed in just a little bit. The bikini top she was wearing also shifted and Jaune could just start to see the darker skin of her areolas, and her hard nipples pressing against the fabric. 

“That should be enough.” Jessica stopped playing with her own tits and ran her slightly messy hands down her slim waist. She laid back against the back of the lawn chair and pushed her chest out. “Well Jaune, feel free to start whenever you come back to your senses~.”

While Jaune was indeed very distracted by her erotic show just now, he was still very aware of what she said. He hesitantly took a small step out of his swim trunks and closer towards the chair she was laying on, his shins now touching the frame of it and completely naked. A part of him still wanted to decline, another part even wanted to say he’d just take the money now, but those were both very small in comparison to the part of him that wanted what was being offered right in front of him. 

Jaune carefully raised his right leg and climbed onto the chair as well, his knees pressing down on the cushion on either side of Jessica’s thighs. He slowly scooted his knees forward and soon had his hard cock positioned above her chest. He looked down at her, then realized he was still holding the camera. With one hand, Jaune reached over and set it down on the same table that the sunscreen bottle was on. 

With his hands now free, he grabbed the top of the chair’s back above Jessica’s head. He lowered his hips to position his cock at the bottom of her boobs under the middle bikini strap. He looked at Jessica to make sure it was okay. Their eyes locked and Jessica bit her lower lip as she nodded. Without any more hesitation, Jaune slid his cock head into her vast cleavage.

His cock head hit the skin in between her tits and slid up inside with ease, getting both of them to shiver a bit. Jaune pushed his cock all the way through and pulled his hips back. Within seconds, Jaune had started a steady rhythm of fucking Jessica’s tits. Jaune continued to hump into her cleavage, already loving the amazing feeling enveloping his cock from the incredibly soft pillows enveloping his shaft. 

Jessica was also enjoying herself. She looked down from Jaune’s blushing face to her cleavage. She was greeted by the sight of the head of Jaune’s cock popping out, now slick with white sunscreen too. She was pretty impressed that it was big enough to do that. She could also feel just how hot and hard his shaft was. ‘Fuck, it feels like a metal rod! Let’s see how he likes this though~.’

While Jaune did already seem to be in paradise, Jessica decided to make it just a bit more… interesting for him~.

With a smirk, she moved her hands back up to her tits and pushed them together. Jaune gasped as the soft tits that were around his cock started to squeeze down, rubbing the cock between them even more. He stopped moving just to get used to the new tightness. Jessica chuckled as she heard the man above her gasp, letting her know that she made a good move.

Jaune started rolling his hips forward once again, this time needing more force to push into her slick cleavage. Pretty soon, his rolling turned into full on thrusting. Jaune was now literally just fucking her tits without a second thought, letting out small grunt and groans as he did so. His grunts almost drowned out the slick ‘plap’ing sound of his cock pumping in and out between her slippery tits as he thrusted away.

Those weren’t the only noises being made though. Alongside Jaune’s grunts, his cock’s slick ‘plap’s, and Jessica’s own moans and giggles as she watched Jaune eagerly thrust away between her sensitive tits, was a creaking sound coming from the rocking chair they were on. With Jaune’s harder thrusting, the chair had started shaking quite a bit. Jaune had also tightened his grip on the back of the chair, unknowing pulling it towards him with his thrusts. Jessica felt the rocking, but thought nothing of it.

Until Jaune pulled so far that the back of the chair slipped out of the slot keeping its back inclined. 

“Aaaah!”

With a surprised yelp, Jessica fell back with the chair. She let out a small “Oouf!” as the chair flattened out. It now looked more like a skinny bed. 

“Jessica?! Are you okay?”

Jessica, now laying flat on her back, looked back up to Jaune who was propped above her. He looked at her worriedly and had stopped his thrusting. She smiled and nodded. “Yup! I’m all good. Actually, this position might be better~.” Her hands squeezed and rolled her tits around Jaune’s cock, enticing him to continue. “Though, I still haven’t gotten your white stuff on my tits~. So keep going~.” 

Jaune looked at her for a second, but once he saw that she really was okay, he started rocking his cock back into her cleavage again. A few seconds later and he was back to thrusting between her tits as quickly as he had been. The new position they were in was definitely making it a lot easier for him to fuck the sexy cosplayer’s tits.

Jessica didn’t stop helping her girls rub his dick either. Her hands still firmly pushing them around Jaune’s shaft, even sinking her fingers into them a little, making her moan along with Jaune. She glanced over at the table next to them, thinking about pouring some more sunscreen on to help things get really messy, when something else caught her attention.

She saw her scroll though the glass. Seeing that it was more within her reach than the sunscreen bottle, she quickly got another idea. She moved her hand off her left tit and reached over to the table, now using one arm to keep her breasts wrapped tightly around the meaty rod fucking them. She smirked as she started her naughty little plan.

Jaune didn’t see Jessica reach for the table because his eyes were closed, just enjoying his own little paradise at the moment. For a whole minute, Jaune was only focused on pumping faster and faster into her slippery cleavage, his cock still gliding effortlessly into her deep valley. It felt too fucking good to stop now, and he wanted as much pleasure as he could get. 

His heavy balls were sliding along her stomach and slapping into her underboob at this point with how heavy his thrusts had gotten. Jaune scrunched his eyes shut even harder and let loose a guttural moan as he felt himself get right to the edge. He could feel his cock twitch and pulse as he finally hit his breaking point. 

“Fuuuuuuck! Jessicaaa!” Before Jaune even finished shouting her name, he was already unloading ropes of cum. “Uuuughfuck!” As he continued to release ropes of cum out without care, he felt absolute bliss shoot through him. Nothing could have ruined how amazing he felt right now.

For nearly a minute, Jaune kept shooting loads of his thick cum. He felt them get smaller and smaller though, and soon came to a full stop. Jaune panted heavily, coming down slowly from his climax. The best best one he’d ever had too. He slowly opened his eyes finally and looked down, and his slowly softening cock nearly shot back to attention when he did.

Underneath him was Jessica Nigri, covered in his spunk. everything from her head down to the top of her breasts was covered in thick white ropes of his cum. The sexiest part of that though was seeing her happily lick around her lips and scoop up what cum she could into her mouth, all with a sexy smirk on her glossy lips.

Jessica took her hands off her tits and started using them to scoop up cum off her face. She brought her fingers to her mouth and slowly pushed them past her lips one by one, sensually sucking them clean from cum. She moaned in the back of her throat, knowing Jaune was watching her now. 

After all her fingers were clean, Jessica parted her lips slightly and pulled her last finger out of her mouth, pulling her bottom lip down a little as it slid out. She looked straight up into Jaune’s eyes and moaned in a sultry voice. “Mmmmmm~. Delicious~.” Jaune blushed when he heard that, getting a small chuckle from Jessica.

After waiting a couple of seconds to let Jaune calm down, Jessica started to sit up, prompting Jaune to back away from her and sit down on the long side of the chair. Jessica made sure that her bikini top was still somewhat fitted on her breasts as she sat up completely, then swung her legs off the chairs side to join Jaune sitting directly next to him. She stretched her arms up  above her head with her fingers interlaced, letting out a relaxed sigh. Jaune didn’t stop himself from staring at her chest as she pushed it out.

Jessica’s arms fell back down to her side and she gently started to rub Jaune’s thigh with her right hand.  “Mmmmuuuh that was pretty hot Jaune, you have fun~?”

Jaune looked over at her, and eagerly nodded his blushing head. “Yeah, t-that was amazing Jessica.”

Jessica kept smirking and patted his thigh twice with her hand. “Well, maybe that can happen again sometime. Whaddya think of that Jaune~?”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

“Well then, I guess we’re gonna have to try to get together more often huh~? But for now, I think I’m going to go take a shower and get cleaned up a bit. You did get me pretty messy~.” Jessica stood up and picked up her scroll. “If you’d like, I have a spare bathroom with another shower that you could use.” With that, she started to sashay towards her house with a sexy sway in her hips.

Jaune started after those swaying hips and committed them to memory. As Jessica slid her home’s backdoor open, Jaune stood up and picked up his swim trunks, covered his crotch with them and jogged to catch up to her. Jessica stepped aside and let him in first, admiring his fine ass as he walked by. ‘I’m gonna have to compare mine with his sometime~. Those are some firm cheeks~.”

With that thought, Jessica stepped into her home as well and closed the door behind them.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chime~

Cinder’s musing on her scroll was interrupted as she received a video message. She also groaned when she saw who it was from. “Uuugh. What does that bimbo want now?” Cinder was really tired of being annoyed by Jessica. Jessica had tried to be ‘friends’ with her at first, but now just seemed to just enjoy annoying Cinder whenever she could. Just the thought of her right now started to make Cinder feel frustrated.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably just a waste of my time.”Despite her better judgement, Cinder still opened the message from Jessica, though a bit begrudgingly. After a few seconds of loading, the video started to play and she was greeted by the sight of her ‘counterpart’ Jessica recording herself by holding her scroll out above her. Cinder could see her body was rocking slightly, but before she could even wonder why that was, the camera began to pan down Jessica’s body.

Revealing a large cock quickly pumping back and forth between her sunscreen covered breasts. 

Cinder’s head recoiled back slightly at seeing such a thing on her screen. Because she was farther away from the screen now, Cinder finally noticed that there was a small caption in a tinted dark blue line on the bottom of the video.

[I hope you like trying to catch up Cindy~. I think I have a good step up on you~.]

Cinder scoffed after reading that caption. “What on Remnant is she talking about? What could I possibly need to catch up with…. her…. on…” Cinder’s question trailed off as the camera angle panned again, completely flipping around this time. It landed on the face of a man propped above her. 

Not just any strange man either. But Jaune Arc. The Jaune Arc that she had been trying to get to fuck her for weeks, with zero results. And now here he was on her scroll screen, currently fucking this bimbo’s tits!

The video ended while Cinder was ranting in her thoughts. It started to replay on a loop, but before it played the first five seconds again, the screen went blank. Then started to show cracks as Cinder slowly crushed it in her grip. She abruptly stood up and tossed her scroll on to the bed she’d been on. 

She straightened out her red dress and started to pace towards the door. “Fine. If that slut wants to try to steal what I want, I’ll happily make her realize her mistake. You wanted me to ‘catch up’ Jessica? Well, I’ll make you regret those words.” 

With a determined fire blazing in her eyes, she left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She didn’t pay any of the scared students she passed a second thought. She had to think of a plan of how her desired fucktoy to get back, and rub that bimbo’s face in it when she did.

[goodbyekillingharmony]

My own interpretation of Qrow's character in V8

also, before we get really into this, of course, there will be spoilers. don’t say i didn’t warn you. also, probably don’t take this too seriously? i wrote this at like 3 in the morning last night and wanted to rework it into something more proper. i tried to make it flow more properly and fuck this may not even make any sense, so bare with me. this is mostly a headcanon i have to get myself through the travesty that is volume 8 and it did make it more enjoyable for me, so i guess that is a plus.

alright, i think i have bored you enough with the unnecessary parts, here we go boys. also, one final thing, this isn’t supposed to undermine shit like part 8 or f//r g//me, or anything of the sort, this was just made as a fun little headcanon that got serious real quick. okay, actually starting now.

I think most RWBY fans have noticed a sudden shift in behavior in Qrow. I don’t really know what the consensus is for this since I hardly, if ever, interact with this fandom, however, for me, until yesterday, it had bothered me heavily. I am a fairly harsh critic when it comes to the writing on the show, purely due to the fact I want to become a writer myself, so I tend to be overly analytical, which can lead to me finding flaws more easily. Nevertheless, even with my mostly neutral feelings regarding Volume 8 right now for various reasons, I persisted. It wasn’t until last night when I really started thinking about this, putting my more critical self aside, and started to look at the bigger picture. Then, an idea had popped into my mind.

Based on someone who has severe trust issues and immense paranoia, I had finally understood, well, at least, theoretically. What if the reason that Qrow is so hostile and, honestly, unreasonable this volume is because he suspected something like this. He suspected Ironwood to do something akin to this. Obviously, not to this severe of a degree, but he felt that like, sooner or later, that this would happen.

What do I mean by this? Well, me and a good friend of mine (@graegrape hi) had gone traversing the RWBY Wikia and found something that honestly kick started the entire thing. 

“ General Ironwood shows concern over Qrow's warning in his conversation with Ozpin in "Welcome to Beacon", which prompted him to bring his fleet to Vale in hopes of preventing conflict in the Vytal Festival. However, this action only served to infuriate Qrow. ’’

Naturally, this had caught my eye. So, we went digging for some screencaps.

When Qrow informed Ironwood and Co. about finding some of Salem's forces, Ironwood had deployed, essentially, his entire fleet, and Qrow was absolutely angered by this; how the hell could he have messed it up so badly?

-

However, at least in this point in time during Volume 3, Qrow doesn’t completely distrust Ironwood.

“ Qrow has commented that he wonders if Ironwood has a heart. Nonetheless, Qrow saves Ironwood from a Griffon in "Heroes and Monsters", knowing the general is innocent of the carnage caused by his automated forces. He shows his respect and loyalty by asking Ironwood for suggestions regarding their plan of action to deal with the invading Grimm, showing that while he may not respect his methods, Qrow does not completely hate him or view him as a threat. ‘’

What was the point of this part of the post, OP? Well, I am happy you asked. I wanted to show just exactly what their dynamic was back in those volumes, almost as a refresher. There is some amount of trust and respect, and there is some amount of comradery there, however, something underlying is starting to brew, specifically Qrow’s reaction to Ironwood’s course of action. My own interpretation of this part? This gave Qrow a proper look at how extreme Ironwood could get, letting it settle in his own mind for a while, making the seed of doubt of Ironwood’s self-destructive behavior plant itself.

══════════════════

The next part of this post will be way more hypothetical. While I will try to provide evidence, this is creeping into more headcanon-ish territory. You have been warned lol.

Well, that’s all of the Volume 2 - 3 stuff out of the way, time to move onto the elephant in the room. Alright, so Volume 7, a favorite for many and I am no exception.

However, even when I have rewatched the Volume at least 3 times at this point, there was a certain scene that had always stuck out to me, and that is relevant to the post at hand, so might as well get it out of the way. I’m sure we all know what I’m talking about here.

The hug.

So, when the hug happened, for Qrow, at least in my own interpretation, it felt like his entire world got shattered.

Ironwood had actually missed him; actually taking the time to tell him that he cared. You could see Qrow wasn’t as tense anymore, actually letting his guard down in front of someone that wasn’t his family. In my opinion, specifally with this frame,

Qrow had started to reflect. To reflect on not only their own relationship, but on himself as well. He, possibly, had his own seed of doubt regarding Ironwood slowly starting to disappear. Something akin to, “Maybe he does have a heart.” or whatever. 

And then, Ironwood, of all people, had betrayed him. It had happened again.

══════════════════

Suddenly, he was given a reason, at least in his mind, to justify his distrust of others, but of Ironwood especially. He was right in his mind. “Sooner or later, someone close to me would do this. And to imagine it being to such a severe situation too. He did it again.” Qrow was probably devastated. I’m not denying that he wasn’t sad about Clover, he clearly was and I am not going to deny that fact. However, that being his only reason does not sit well with me. His colleague, one of the remaining people in Ozpin’s group, had done this, after he had promised to ensure his safety, planting a false hope within him. Now, he was thrown away like a rag by one of the only remaining members of Ozpin's circle he could get into proper contact with.

Qrow’s sadness turning into anger is literally perfectly in character to him, so it would make complete sense, trying to deflect everything, because he, himself, wants to be right in his own mind; it was a long time coming, it only happened now.

He’s deflecting a lot of the things, pushing it in the back of his mind. He's scared. He has to be alone again. Just when he thought he was finally safe to trust people again, to seek comfort in someone like Clover, the first person he was willing to spill his heart out to, as well; he lost him. So, he uses everything he can to stop his mind from thinking about it. Anger, sadness, blissful ignorance; whatever he can do to ignore it, because he gave up drinking, so he can't use that for coping anymore.

The reason why he’s reacting so extremely is, in my opinion,is not just due to “Oh, well, I saw this coming.”, but also that he is going through withdrawl. He has to do cope using other methods, since he can’t use his former one anymore. He has to feel the full brunt of his own emotions, he can’t numb them down anymore, and to himself, he can’t justify his own feelings. In his mind, the best course of action is to redirect those extremes onto someone else.

It is quite possibly that Qrow had noticed Ironwood’s sudden shift in behavior, making him reflect on himself, too. He sees that Ironwood is walking down the same path that he himself was going down many years ago, but he can’t do anything. He thinks that Ironwood wouldn’t listen to him, considering what happened back in the Vytal festival. Ironwood did not back down in the slightest back then, so why would he now? That type of mentality. He doesn’t bother with it.

(This next part was written by my good friend and honestly? Great food for thought.) 

Qrow’s former emotions mirror those of Ironwood’s current ones. Qrow, back in the earlier volumes, had used alcohol to help ease his mind and block out things he didn’t want to think about. And now, current Ironwood, is only focusing on what’s directly in front of him and blocking out the entirety of Mantle.

In essense, Ironwood had become exactly what he hated about Qrow.

(I rewrote it a bit, but the main idea was all them. Thank you so much for this.)

He is deliberately using everything he can to not think about Ironwood, due to the fact that he can easily become irrational when he does, and he does need Robyn as an ally, so he buries it all down, possibly being self-aware about his own behavoir, but not know how to deal with it.

══════════════════

Well, that sure was long. There could be things I forgot to mention, and I’m not even sure if this is well structured or not, since I’m not used to writing essays, at least, not to this caliber, but I hoped it, at least, made you possibly think about Qrow in a more intiment sense. Qrow’s and Ironwood’s relationship had always been the most facsinating one in the entire show, so seeing it being thrown to the side did sting a bit. But, I hope that there was a good reason for it. I am still looking forward to what V8 has in store, especially with the heavily implied fight, I just hope it’s something more than just Qrow getting revenge for Clover. C’mon, CRWBY! I know you can do better.

If you made it this far, thank you. And please understand I made this out of pure love for the show. I have been a fan for a while now and I only want what’s best for the show. I promise this isn’t just me being a salty Ironqrow shipper lmao Anyway, let’s hope this volume turns out great.

[noneatnonedotcom]

Rwby earlier

so the basic question this story asks is what would rwby be like if it was set earlier in the timeline. this time i focused on jaune, who’s the last son of a knightly house that has since been betrayed by the kingdom of vale. he’s not a huntsman. that terminology only came at the end of the great-war. jaune’s a knight. the last of his kind and a hero...

of sorts

hope you enjoy

Jaune surveyed the battlefield before him.  It was dry relatively flat though there were small rises and dips. All in all a good bit of ground he’d managed to lure his enemy into. 

They needed every advantage they could get.

The Faunas Rights Revolution as they were now calling it was… well, it was a disaster. Incompetent generals on the human side, brought on by the destruction of the nobility after the end of the great war and the loss of the warrior culture, basically won the war for the animals.

The only reason Minstral and Atlas had held on as long as they had was because of him and the Vale Expeditionary Force fighting the battles for them. And still, it was down to just them now. He’d not been recalled from the field and as a knight of vale… as the leader of vale forces rather, those lofty titles and ideals were dead now.

Much like everything else good in his life he could see its blood purely on the hands of vales former king. 

He watched the wind sweep across the field making waves in the grass and flowers of the beautiful vista. In the distance past the forest, the mountains rose majestically. The fall of fort castle had secured a line of attack on Minstral itself. The subsequent sacrifice of Minstralian troops on the altar of stupidity was the final nail in the coffin for humanity.

Or it should be, this field would be the place where the future was decided. Weeks of following the Herd of faunas had been leading up to this very moment. Now he had a chance and with it, he would exact a bloody tax on the animals for the rape of Castle Town. and for all the evils they had committed.

To his left, he had two formations of heavy cavalry. In years past they would have been knights. Their armors were polished the beautiful colors they covered themselves with and their horses stood out especially in comparison to the drab colors of the faunas most being poorly equipped and trained. But their natural advantages, numbers, and human incompetence had let the animals run rampant across the countryside.

His men were well trained, all had their auras unlocked and the warhorses they used had not only been specially bred but had been trained to use aura as well. The act of unlocking their aura had made them intelligent enough to use the new abilities they’d gained. 

He’d argue that each horse was smarter than your average tax collector.

His enemy was confidant, the only challenges he’d faced so far were poorly trained human militias led by incompetent officers. He outnumbered jaune two-hundred to one. And jaune had made a point to have the enemy think they were chasing him. This wouldn’t be a battle.

This would be a slaughter.

He let his enemy mass his troops, his polearms at the front with a few cavalry off to the flanks. Nodding at the knight commander of his second formation he signaled the man to lead his hundred men to chase off the mounted enemies. His only worry was the muskets that the enemy had stolen. Luckily it seemed they had no real idea how to use them beyond the very basics. 

Jaune watched the battle, one hundred men charged a great mass of the animals on horseback. actual numbers were impossible to guess since the creatures didn’t organize themselves. The advantage of numbers though was soundly in the favor of the enemy. 

The initial shock of the charge nearly won the contest outright but they rallied. The knights not killing nearly as fast as they should have. As the left flank came to join his first formation fled from the fight. The enemy cavalry giving chase. It would appear that the first part of the battle was over.

At the very least the enemy cavalry was off the field. The last hundred men shuffled nervously and jaune reached down to pat the white destrier he was riding. Snow was a fine stallion and he was thankful to have his friend at his side now. He took a deep breath enjoying the relative peace of the moment as the enemy began marching towards him. 

This would be a good day.

This is how he would mark himself as a hero. 

“There is not much to say about the situation but I nonetheless feel some words must be spoken.”

The didn’t truly march, they more ambled in a vague formation. Jaune smiled at the sight.

“I do not believe in the superiority of humanity, in truth I see no real difference physically between the two of our species” 

The front ranks seemed to get nervous as they approached the last line of knights. A block ten men across and ten men deep. This wasn’t at all like the previous foes they’d fought. But they were pushed forwards by the ones behind them. Bunching closer and closer together.

“But those are not faunas you see before you, they are not human, they are animals! Animals who would rape and murder the women and children of Minstral the same as they did for those of Castle town!” he felt his fury seep into his voice “they are animals who when offered a peaceful end to hostilities asked for more. Knowing that the councils couldn’t grant them that!” snow stomped into the ground sharing his hatred “they are animals who came from Managerie purely to harm others! I remind you, men, that this is not a battle!” his voice carried over to the herd now and jaune felt his aura unfurl across himself and his hundred men “THIS IS A LONG OVERDO EXTERMINATION!” he cried to the heavens as his knights cried out with him. “TRAMPLE THEM BENEATH OUR HOOVES AND RUN THEM DOWN! FOR VALE! FOR GLORY! FOR HUMANITY!” his lance tilted down “CHARGE!”

And the sound of thunder echoed across the valley on the bright sunny day

In his mind jaune said a prayer

My body is a cage of flame

The burning yet verdant giant

Retribution, a shrine that presides over human affairs and purifies them.

I am the one who destroys

THE WICKER MAN!

Moments before the impact he saw in his mind ruby rose, she was sitting in the garden trying to learn to sing from her friend Weiss. It sounded more like screeching in truth, but the love song was meant for him and it was more beautiful than anything he’d ever heard. And he remembered her sitting on that very same marble bench in the golden light streaming through the trees when she’d said she loved him as he loved her and his soul sang with the memory.

His lance killed a man as Snow plowed through the line of men heedless of the polearms bouncing off the now unlimited aura. Men flew through the air and were trampled into the soil now becoming mud with the liquid of their blood jaune thrust his lance down again and again as snow stomped and bit and kicked and men all around him did the same.

Time lost meaning to him for a long while the auras of him and his men unbreakable as jaune held onto that beautiful golden memory as the animals cried out in pain some drowning in the bloody mud others grasping at deep wounds from the lances.

In time the animals turned to flee, jaune and his knights gave chase. But disaster struck for the animals when the first formation fo cavalry from before came back. Now with double the knights coming from both sides, the animals sought to surrender.

Quarter was not given to the people of Castle town.

And the animals were slaughtered in their entirety. 

The entire main army of the faunas was destroyed. Twenty thousand killed off in a single day by Jaune Arc the Butcher of Anima. The council would condemn him. And most of all an old man name Oswald who was the head of the Beacon Academy had said he was little more than a monster. 

Apparently he’d tried to convince Ruby to leave him after the news of his victory broke. She’d outright refused. 

Apparently, jaune was now quite hated by the Circles the old man frequented. Whether this was because of his actions or the fact that Jaune was more important to the last known silver-eyed warrior in Remnant was unknown. 

In the nights jaune still had dreams, dreams of men trampled beneath the hooves of horses and those screaming for mercy as they drowned in the mud of the battlefield. Of monsters who came for his beloved wife . Of old men striping what light his life had away from him.

And every time jaune was woken by the embrace of his little rose, a hero in her own right. And they would lie in the darkness of their room and she would sing that sweet lovesong that he remembered and he would cling to her like a lifeline.

And then in the morning they would sit in the garden and watch the children of his sisters play and thoughts of war were forgotten. 

 so yeah jaune in an earlier age becomes a hero, he stops a great atrocity but commits one of his own. something that haunts him well into the later events of the story btw ruby and jaune are both cannon ages for this, they just got married earlier than most. (they are basically still in the medieval ages lol) Ruby’s also one of the first batch of huntsmen to study at beacon. jaune’s not allowed in. and Oswald is the incarnation before Ozpin. 

jaune’s real struggle is not with his capabilities but rather how able he is to live up to his ideals to be a knight. his victory in Anima was a moral failing for him and he most certainly pays the price for it. but the people he was stopping weren’t exactly good guys either. they were an undisciplined mob who thought they were owed. just look how the french revolution turned out

let me know what you think the song ruby sings for him should be btw

[gender-snatched]

in no particular order whatsoever, I present you some good queer media: ((very minor spoilers for some things))

- black sails! it's a series, 4 seasons, 30 something episodes total, I haven't watched it yet but someone just recommend it to me and it sounds amazing. they're pirates, it's got a lot of queer characters, characters of color, and it deals (really fucking well, from what I heard) with topics of racism, misogyny, cissexism, poverty and how all of these relate and how systems oppress marginalized people and a bunch of other stuff. there's also at least two different poly relationships (a triad and a V). also it's got legit really fucking good writing, like legit legit good.

- the penumbra podcast!! I have listened to this one and it's a fucking masterpiece. it's got two main storylines; the first one (Junoverse) is a noir detective type but it's in Mars in the future (with a non-binary he/him bisexual lady as a main character and it deals (really well) with a lot of mental health issues, mainly depression) and it turns into space pirates in the third season and I think there's only one canon cis/straight person in the whole thing everyone else is queer and the other main storyline (Second Citadel) is more classic fantasy knights and monsters with a lot of questions of morality and "what's really a monster" and a poly relationship (and scaley monsterfuckers) and honestly a lot of queer characters

- Welcome To Night Vale!! I feel like this would be right up your street, honestly. it's a podcast, it follows a radio show from this town, Night Vale, where a lot of really weird supernatural shit happens, and the radio host, Cecil telling us (the town) about what's up. it's really fun and weird, it's not scary at all if that's a concern, it's very explicitly queer (in the very first episode Cecil falls in love with a man and tells the whole town about it) and it depicts a very healthy gay couple and great character development and it's honestly really fun, you get to know a lot of the townfolk and their stories and it's great

- The Adventure Zone! it's an actual play podcast, the McElroy brothers (you may know them?) and their dad play d&d. they just finished their third campaign and are starting the 4th one this week I think. the first campaign is by far my favourite. it starts kinda rough, they're playing dnd for the first time and the story and characters are pretty weak, but by the third or fourth arc you can tell how much they've learnt in the process. the fourth arc is where the story starts picking up and by the end (there's 69 (ha) episodes divided into 8 or 9 arcs) you'll be sobbing your eyes out for the last ten episodes. it's classic dnd fantasy stuff with at least three explicitly queer relationships (one of the main characters is gay and in a relationship) and w at least one explicitly trans character. it was their first time, they tried and did fairly well tbh. the second campaign is shorter, settled in modern real life Kepler, West Virginia where basically cryptids are real and the main three kill monsters in a monster of the week type of thing. (one of the main three is bi and in a queer relationship, there's one nb they/them character). and the third campaign just finished, it's real fun too, three college students of a heroes and villains school, in a (fantasy) world where heroes and villains are like A Thing and The System sucks and the message is basically to overthrow capitalism lmao

I swear I consume more media than just podcast but rn I just can't think of any...

also not exactly queer media but:

- Phineas and Ferb, it's a classic, you probably watched it on TV as a kid (I did) but it merits a rewatch

- Gravity Falls, same thing, I'm still not over how fucking good this show is

- Steve Universe, I know things got heated up in the fandom at some point but I ignored the fuck out of everyone and enjoyed it anyways because it's good

- how to train your dragon, they're all good okay, they are, watch them again

- Big Mouth. you're like 15 right? you can watch big mouth, I highly recommend it, it's really good. it's for some queer characters but they're even the main focus of some episodes/storylines, but it doesn't even matter, the whole series is just really good.

- Megamind, it's probably better than you remember

- also, you're into star trek right? have you watched discovery? I haven't watched s3 yet but it's good

I went completely off the rails halfway through this but still, hope you check out some new thing!! (and if you do post about it, I wanna know) (also can you guess who I am? I feel like it's kinda obvious sjsksk)

- j

Thank you!!! I really like WTNV, and I've been meaning to watch/listen to those other ones! And I never actually watched Phineas and Ferb, but I've heard it's good. Gravity Falls and Steven Universe are both on my list! And I hella hyperfixated on HTTYD in sixth grade. Megamind is amazing!!!!! And I sadly can't watch Disco cuz I don't have Paramount+, but I wish I could!

And surprisingly I can't guess who you are but that's probably due to me being a dumbass who can't really tell typing styles apart

[nostalgic-pancakes]

you look bizarre, in the apricot

two. chatlogs from people who don't exist. (and thomas suffering for a bit)

Summary: the sides get phones, and night vale is night vale. you can guess how this goes.

Pairings: platonic thomas and sides, pintroverts <3

Read on AO3

Word count: 584

Warnings: typical night vale weirdness, unreality.

Other notes: @sometimes-love-is-enough guess who’s on her bullshit again. hope you enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hiya, Thomas!”

“Hey, Pat. It’s weird being on the phone when you’re literally right next to me.”

“Well, yeah. WAIT, CAN I GO TO THE DOG PARK NOW?”

“NO! NO, PATTON. Remember Carlos?”

“Ah. Well, at least there’s flesh-eating snakes.”

“This town’s really messed up our sense of cuteness, hasn’t it.”

“How could you not think those guys are ADORABLE? Monster!”

*a sigh. Thomas is pretty tired, kept awake by the neon lights.* “Don’t get bit then, I guess. Can you guys get bit?”

“You should ask Logan that!”

“I...will take that into consideration. Bye! Don’t forget the groceries at the auction!”

“Love you, Thomas.”

“Love you too.”

… (Yes, apparently sides can get bit by flesh-eating snakes. Well.)

“Logan.”

“Hello, yes, I can hear you. Now may I get back to my experiment?”

“Make sure you keep the ‘NOT A PEN’ stickers on.”

“Of course- who do you take me for, Remus?”

“You guys are so similar sometimes I don’t know the difference.”

“That's probably a good thing. Now I have some Rube Goldberg machines to correct. I love you very much.”

“Awww! Love you too!” *" ONE MINUTE! GLOW CLOUD! (all hail) Just finishing a call!. Now onto Cecil's grammar errors." "Even I don't know if this is worth the me tutoring you in Chemical Engineering, glow cloud." [ALL HAIL]

…

“Thomas Thomas THOMAS-- This is a horrible idea! What if--- Oh this town is a NIGHTMARE. What if the city council notices we haven’t done the New Year’s ritual, or that we put out a tweet on Tuesday by accident?”

“Look, cancel culture is killing us all, and the tweet’s been rescheduled for Wednesday.”

“Thomas I think you’ve been canceled like… four times since we moved.”

“Is it weird that I don’t care about it that much anymore?”

“YES! YES! Loss of interest or care in previously enjoyed activities is a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION! Go to a therapist!!”

“I never… liked being canceled?”

“Okay, whatever. I need to make sure Patton doesn’t get himself KILLED, so I’ll see you. Can sides even die….?”

“Uh, sure! Love you big bunches.”

*a chuckle. Thomas hasn’t used that phrase since they were kids.* “Love you even bigger.”

…

“Roman.”

“Yeeeeesss, Thomas?”

“Why did I hear about you doing arson with rainbow fire next door to the Ralph’s?”

“Well, Janice wanted to see Rainbow Fire -”

“How did you pronounce that?”

“And we were next to Ralph's!”

“... Remus is rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

“Brother bonding time!”

“Fair enough. I’m at Slap-Poetry again, so keep Janice busy, if possible. She’s been really anxious about that Volleyball game.”

“Why of course!! Love you veeeeery many :D”

“H-how? And yeah, love you very many more.”

“ 。·:*:·ﾟ★。·:*:·ﾟ☆Magic。·:*:·ﾟ★。·:*:·ﾟ☆ ” *there is incomprehensible screeching on the other end of the phone, before the call cuts off. Roman grins. This town has been good for him and Remus to bond.*

…

“Awwwwww Tommy-boy, why wasn’t I allowed my own phone?”

“Re, I love you, but you would send us to prison like that,”

“Prison could be fun!”

“Just… Janus tell him no. Nico’s sick, and I’m contractually obligated to Slap-Poetry tonight. Keep him in check. Or at least out of the hospital”

“Hmmm…. We’ll see. We absolutely hate your guts, you know. ”

“Yeah, love you too. Have fun!”   *a sneeze can be heard from the other side of the line, along with the telltale plop! noise of mini Nico’s being spawned.*

"Good luck." "Good Luck."

"...Thanks, guys."

[heliosthegriffin]

Dead Knight

AN: Some context. Used to read alot of The Zombie Knight Sage, was there for the great hiatus, but it started reupdating and I forgot where I left off, said I’d comeback after I figured out where that was. That was like three years ago, that was before I started writing fanfiction. So, I started rereading The Zombie Knight Saga and little idea came to mind... Hope you all enjoy ;)

“Hi, there.” “What!? Who said that!? Why is it so dark? I can’t feel anything, where am I!?”

“Wait, wait, calm down sugar, I’m going to need you stop panicking. I got something important to tell you, and I need you be calm and listen. Can you do that for me?”

“....Ok. I guess I can, but please hurry! I don’t know what’s going on and it’s scarying me!”

“Shh, shh, don’t worry honey, everything’s fine, it’s just you’re a little, itsy bitsy little bit... Deeead. Nothing to worry about, I promise!”

“Ah?”

“Ok, I don’t know if you’re taking this well or not, just digest this for a second, and please stay calm.”

“I’m dead, dead, as in I’m not living?” “Yeeeah, that, nope no life.”

“Oh, oh, wow, that’s alot... to take in... You’re sure I’m dead?”

“Yeah, you are dead as a doorknob! Hahaha, please don’t panic, I need you to be a least a little lucid for this next part.

“How’d I go? It wasn’t stupid was it.”

“....”

“Oh no, how bad was it?”

“You were launched several hundred feet into the air, and you hit a rock head first on the way down... Your head broke open like a watermelon. For what it’s worth I’m sorry.” “That I’m an idiot? Don’t feel sorry for me, I was stupid to try and apply to Beacon anyway. A kid with his ancestors weapon and no training, what on Remnant was I think!”

“It’s fine, you just wanted to live up to your familes legacy, no-one is going to fault you for that... Ok, maybe your family will be mad, since you know, ran off in the middle of the night to go to Beacon with no training.”

“Thanks, that really helps. Now I get to wait for them to come in kick my ass in wherever we are. How did you know I ran away, though”

“... I’ve been watching you since you got to Vale... You talk a lot when you’re alone.”

“ So .... Um, if I’m dead, what are you? Are you, a god? One of the brothers? An angel?... Or you one of those thing that take me to the bad place?”

“Oh, oh, no I’m none of those things! Well, I guess I kinda work for the Dark Brother, but that’s a little complicated, and you’re not really in the right state of mind for that conversation.”

“So, what are you then?”

“I’m a pyschopomp! Carrier of souls to the great beyond extraordinary!”

“A what?”

“...I’m what you might call a Reaper of souls, I’m a grim reaper Jaune. I was trying to make it sound nice, so you don’t get scared. Sorry for confusing you.”

“That’s fine, I guess, so what happens now, do you take me across now.”

“Jaune, I actually have a deal for you.”

“What is it, sell you my soul and I get to comeback? Has this been just one long gimmick to butter me up?”

“NO! It’s not, it’s a deal, Jaune you get something out of this and I do too. Actually deal’s the wrong word for this... It’s a partnership more or less.”

“More or less, so what, is it weighted in your favor then?”

“Sharp, like that in a man, don’t worry though, it’s not that bad,”

“I’m sure every loan shark out there has said the same thing.”

“Ok, that cut’s a little bit, but I forgive you. So, let me explain what’s what.”

“Go on.”

“I can bring you back to life. But, you have to work for me, if I say jump, you jump. I need you to be responsive and quick to my order, otherwise I’m going to let you go!“

“...What’s in it for me?”

“Eh? I said I’d bring you back to life!”

“Yeah, I heard that. But, I didn’t hear any benefits to that. The way I see it, is I’m already dead, I’ve nothing to gain from coming back to life in the middle of the forest full of monster bent of killing me, where no doubt someone will see me go all zombie up from the ground with a bloody, gash on my head! I’ll be dead again before I get up! And if I do somehow get out of there, what do I say to the school when they have me on camera freaking dying! So yeah, you better start laying out the benefits for me working in this partnership, real fast or I’ll start looking for my own way to the great beyond, or wait for another ride there.”

“How-how, do you know someone else will show up? Haha, you might be alone here for eternity?”

“You said it you’re self, A reaper, as though one of many. Way I see I just have to wait around till another one shows up.”

“...Fine, I’ll list out some benefits. One. Superpowers.” “...I can get superpowers?”

“Yeah, once I revive you, you literally cannot die unless I let you, or unless I get killed?”

“How can you die?”

“Being hit by aura, magic, and stuff. Anyway, you’ll develop you’re own powers eventually, but we’ll touch on that later. So yeah, I can pretty much make you a superhero.”

“Nice.”

“Anyway, Benefit two, I can make you a hero... Our goals line up Jaune, you want to be hero, I need a hero.”

“Why me, then? We both know that’s a up-road journey.”

“You’re available, and heroes don’t die very fast.”

“...Yeah, I guess they don’t.”

“Hey! None of that, honey! You’re going to be fine, heroes are made not born.”

“Alright, if I do agree to this though. What do you need me to do? I’ll put this out there right now though, I’m no one’s hatchet-man.”

“Nor do I expect you to be. I won’t lie to Jaune, there is a shadow over Vale right now and It looks like a lot people are about to get hurt or worse, and I want someone to stop it.”

“Why can’t you though, aren’t you Pyschopomp extraordinary?”

“Jaune, I carry souls, that doesn’t translate to saving lives. If I had a damn body I’d use it, instead of making you do this.”

“Sorry.”

“Huuh, it’s not your fault, it’s nobodies fault but mine now. So, I’m going to need a answer now. You in or are you out?”

“I’m in, I just wanted to make sure that I’m going to work with somebody who least seems like they want to help some people.”

“If I wasn’t a disembodied voice, you’d see me smile.” “Creepy.... Well, I’m Jaune Arc, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“Hehe, yeah I did, name’s Summer Rose.”

[shieldofrohan]

I was struck by your idea that there may be a Jonsa political marriage in TWOW or early in ADOS because I could NOT figure out why they made all those parallels between them and Ned/Cat in the show without addressing it. But, your idea worries me because in s7 they compared J/D to Rhaegar/Lyanna, and while I can't imagine Jon being unfaithful, Dany falling in love with Jon was what brought her North. So how does that/the love triangle we saw on the show play out if Jonsa is already married?

Hello @esther-dot! First of all thank you for your ask, people don’t ask me anything usually so your ask made me really happy. 

I wrote a long answer I guess, sorry :

First let me say that: I think we are giving too much credit to show. After S4 the show kind of stopped following the books. I mean look at the S5 Ramsay/Sansa nonsense. D&D made it clear that GRRM gave them some important scenes for them to work with so I see the show as a slide-show of some scenes from books tbh. For example the arrival of the Knights of the Vale was sth you can find the hints of it in the books. Or the trial and death of Baelish by the hand of Sansa. Even the death of Daenerys was foreshadowed in the books. But the plots to get to those scenes were all D&D if you ask me. So they had to fill the gaps and they did it how they wanted. 

At this point I really can’t see a version of Asoiaf without a jonsa plot. Jonsa is the most foreshadowed plot in the books. The hints are starting in the prologue of the AGOT and they keep going in the AFFC and ADWD, and you can even find hints in other books of GRRM. Jonsa foreshadowings are surrounded by marriage and children imagery. So not having a jonsa marriage or kids seems unlikely to me. 

I am looking at the j*nerys foreshadowings and they are all about them being enemies. For example these two chapters that follow each other:

“No. Dany shivered. No, no, oh no.“Are you deaf, fool?” Reznak mo Reznak demanded of the man. “Did you not hear my pronouncement? See my factors on the morrow, and you shall be paid for your sheep.” “Reznak,” Ser Barristan said quietly, “hold your tongue and open your eyes. Those are no sheep bones.” No, Dany thought, those are the bones of a child.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames.

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

The next morning Xaro’s galleas was gone, but the “gift” that he had brought her remained behind in Slaver’s Bay. Long red streamers flew from the masts of the thirteen Qartheen galleys, writhing in the wind. And when Daenerys descended to hold court, a messenger from the ships awaited her. He spoke no word but laid at her feet a black satin pillow, upon which rested a single bloodstained glove. “What is this?” Skahaz demanded. “A bloody glove …” “… means war,” said the queen.

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

As they did their count, Jon peeled the glove off his left hand and touched the nearest haunch of venison. He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb. What did you expect? There’s a mountain of ice above your head, more tons than even Bowen Marsh could count. Even so, the room felt colder than it should.“It is worse than I feared, my lord,” Marsh announced when he was done. He sounded gloomier than Dolorous Edd.Jon had just been thinking that all the meat in the world surrounded them. You know nothing, Jon Snow. “How so? This seems a deal of food to me.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

Dizzy, Dany closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she glimpsed the Meereenese beneath her through a haze of tears and dust, pouring up the steps and out into the streets.The lash was still in her hand. She flicked it against Drogon’s neck and cried, “Higher!” Her other hand clutched at his scales, her fingers scrabbling for purchase. Drogon’s wide black wings beat the air. Dany could feel the heat of him between her thighs. Her heart felt as if it were about to burst. Yes, she thought, yes, now, now, do it, do it, take me, take me, FLY!”

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

Jon clasped the offered hand. The words of his oath rang through his head. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men.

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

I really try to see some romantic hints in those but I can’t find them. So why did D&D choose to do j*nerys instead of jonsa? Let’s face it: Their main audience are locals and Dany lovers. People were waiting them to bang... (ew). And when he was asked about Grrm’s intentions about Jon and Dany, Alan Taylor (director) said that he can’t tell what Grrm said because it is a S8 twist. So even the most j*nerys shipper director couldn’t confirm that j*nerys was sth Grrm told them about. What Grrm told them was a S8 twist, which turned out to be Jon killing Daenerys. I bet they chose the route of a romance instead of them being enemies (Dance of Dragons 2.0 ?!?!?!) so they could shock the audience with the final twist (a poor choice i must say).

So what I am trying to say is that: j*nerys is probably not a book thing. Or at least it can only be one sided in the books. Look at the S7-8 Jon Snow.. they made him so OOC to be in love with Dany... I am sure that Book!Jon won’t be in love with Dany. To be fair, I even can’t see Jon in Dragonstone or etc. Traveling during a White Walker threat is not a good idea. He won’t have such a time to go to DS and fall in love with someone like Dany. Dany is a combination of Cersei, Joffrey, Stannis, Selyse and Melisandre... Can you imagine Jon falling for those? No I don’t think so. I mean there is even dragon glass in Skagos... why would he bother to go DS? And we know that Dragons don’t like North and I can’t image using the fire threat to beat the ice threat... So her dragons won’t be the main forces against the Others. 

I tried to explain why Show!J*nerys was so forced to please the audience and how it was a fan service plot. But still an one-sided j*nerys can happen in the books. There are more foreshowings for this tbh. I am imaging an Aerys-Joanna-Tywin kind of triangle in the books. 

I mean look at this: (I have examined the Jon chapters that follow Dany ones in the ADWD and there were some interesting things. Maybe i’ll write a meta about them one day but for now let’s focus on one hint that I found interesting)

“I want to know. I never knew my father. I want to know everything about him. The good and … the rest.” “As you command.” The white knight chose his words with care. “Prince Aerys … as a youth, he was taken with a certain lady of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, your father drank too much wine at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was a great pity that the lord’s right to the first night had been abolished. A drunken jape, no more, but Tywin Lannister was not a man to forget such words, or the … the liberties your father took during the bedding.” His face reddened. “I have said too much, Your Grace. I—”

[...]

How beautiful, the queen tried to tell herself, but inside her was some foolish little girl who could not help but look about for Daario. If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl, the girl in her insisted, but the queen knew that was folly.

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

This is Daenerys’ wedding chapter and she learns about her father’s jealousy about Tywin and Joanna’s marriage. 

And bonus: she also wishes that Daario to take her away like Rhaegar did with his Stark lady. So in her wedding chapter she mentions the love between a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady. 

But she also knows that no one is coming for her. 

And Jon chapter follows this chapter. And he talks about: his dislike for Selyse and Melisandre, kinslaying, daggers in dark, the grey girl. So he won’t like Daenerys either, kinslaying is an important hint (both for Dany-Viserys and Jon-Daenerys) and I bet that Grey Girl is Sansa. 

Now we know that Dany is Aerys 2.0 with dragons and she will end what her father has started by burning down KL. So in this triangle Dany is Aerys. 

And who are Joanna and Tywin? 

The first J+T pair she’ll meet will be Aegon and Arianna probably. They are cousins too and Aegon chose not to be just a consort to his aunt by marrying her, so he’ll probably choose Arianne to gain Dorne’s support. I always consider Aegon (fake or not) and Arianne as a warning for Daenerys about Jonsa. Aegon has parallels with Sansa and Jon (secret identity with different hair color and secret Targ parentage etc). And Arianne has parallels with Sansa (The girl in the tower trope). So those two will be a test for Daenerys before she meets with Jon and Sansa. But her main test will be with Jonsa.

Jonsa fit into Joanna/Tywin pair more. They are cousins and they grew up together and after them being reunited they will be very important for each other. 

And let’s not forget about the fact that Tywin was the Hand of Aerys and he betrayed him and his son Jaime killed Aerys in the throne room... We are all aware of the parallels between Jaime and Jon already. But Jon was also her adviser and she wanted to rule the 7K with him. But in the end he betrayed her. I believe that Jon’s Ygritte arc might be useful for him to lure Dany into some false trust. But him sleeping with her and loving her and later lose her in his arms sounds like a cheap copy of Ygritte/Jon plot and it makes no sense. 

I think Dany will be taken with him and he’ll use this but it doesn’t mean that they will be lovers. Because it seems like Grrm is going to use RLJ in Jon’s romantic life (like he planned in the original/first outline with Jon-Arya romance). And RLJ has no effect on j*nerys. They can still f*ck and marry... 

I mean Grrm even put an uncle-niece marriage (Jonnel-Sansa Stark!!) in the Stark family tree to show that Starks have no problem with marrying with their uncles/aunts etc. Grrm only considers the marriages between siblings and parent-children as incest. So j*nerys is not a doomed love. But for jonsa; RLJ makes everything smooth. Therefore RLJ must be used in jonsa plot.

So Dany is the Aerys of the triangle and no Targaryen prince will come for her because they are busy with their Stark ladies. (Rhaegar- Lyanna and also maybe Jacaerys and Sara Snow?) 

To explain the early Jonsa political marriage, I must say that I was inspired by the Grand Northern Conspiracy. According to this theory, Howland Reed is the keeper of Robb’s Will about Jon and he is also the one who knows about RLJ. 

It does not go north with Galbart Glover and Maege Mormont, who expressly carry false letters, and is often feared lost at the Twins in the chaos following the Red Wedding. Another possibility, however, is that the document was secreted away in Hag’s Mire and has now been retrieved by Lady Stoneheart. Who in turn, for a real kicker of an ironic twist, delivers the suspected proof of Jon’s kingship to Greywater Watch for safekeeping, care of Howland Reed, who then knows more of the crowns Jon’s entitled to than any other man living in the world of ASOIAF.

https://zincpiccalilli.tumblr.com/post/52748381148

Let’s accept this theory and say that Howland has the Will. Without his proof other lords can’t just announce Jon as the KITN. I believe that Howland will be present at Winterfell to show the Will. But Howland was also a friend of Ned Stark. And he is loyal to House Stark. He kept RLJ as secret for years to protect the Starks and Jon from Robert’s wrath. But Robert is dead and he has no reason to keep this secret anymore. And I can’t imagine him sitting quietly while other lords declare Jon as the King while a true born Stark (Sansa) is sitting right there. He wouldn’t betray Ned’s memory like that. So he’ll spill the tea with RLJ too. And after that maybe Sansa will finally have some agency for her choice of husband. So them together will be the one answer of North’s all wishes. 

And let’s not forget that GRRM said he knows which characters will end up married. But in the show there was no marriage. So I am still waiting a marriage. 

And even with an early Jonsa marriage, Jon and Dany might still meet. Imagine S7 with a married Jonsa. Jon leaves Sansa to fight a battle. It would be a great parallel with NedCat. Ned left Cat while she was pregnant to go to war. And maybe there will be rumors about Jon and Dragon Queen just like how Ned betrayed Cat. But like Ned, Jon would be loyal to Sansa and North too in truth. 

Maybe Jon will gain Dany’s trust and help her against Aegon. And return she’ll accept to help North. But in the end I don’t think that Dany will come/or stay in North. Also in the Jon chapter that comes after Dany one, Jon was warned against Dragons:

“Salladhor Saan?” “The Lysene pirate? Some say he has returned to his old haunts, this is so. And Lord Redwyne’s war fleet creeps through the Broken Arm as well. On its way home, no doubt. But these men and their ships are well-known to us. No, these other sails … from farther east, perhaps … one hears queer talk of dragons.” “Would that we had one here. A dragon might warm things up a bit.” “My lord jests. You will forgive me if I do not laugh. We Braavosi are descended from those who fled Valyria and the wroth of its dragonlords. We do not jape of dragons.” No, I suppose not. “My apologies, Lord Tycho.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

Maybe Dany will want sth more from Jon and will be jealous of Jon and Sansa just like her father was jealous of Tywin and Joanna. Maybe Jon will betray her in most unexpected time just like Tywin betrayed Aerys. 

Btw I am still waiting for a battle between Daenerys and Jon in Trident after he betrayed Dany. (You know Dany dreamed about a fighting against an usurper in ice armor in Trident... Jon will be the Usurper because he’ll be the King of North and Dany will see North as a part of her Kingdom.)

So my timeline would be like this:

- Jon and Sansa reunite and take North back

- The Will and RLJ happen and they unite their claims by marriage

- A dance between Aegon and Daenerys and she loses a dragon

- Jon gains her trust only to use her and pacify her to protect the North during the Dance

- Him refusing the bend the knee and them becoming enemies

- Daenerys loses one of her dragons

- Daenerys and Euron being a chaotic duo for Westeros

- Daenerys burns down KL and marches to North for revenge

- North (aka Jon) vs Daenerys in Trident

- Daenerys dies and Drogon gets hurt

- Jon refusing the throne so he can go back to North (the Duncan of Dragonflies jumped out)

- Bran becomes King

- Jon returns North to fight against the Others etc. (I refuse believe that he’ll be punished and sent back to Wall? Grrm literally has to kill him to free him from Night’s Watch so I don’t see him returning there)

- Epiloge. 

***

Well I talked too much about too many things but I hope my answer was not such a bullsh*t :) 

Thanks again for the ask. Let me know your thoughts. 

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Without Dance, What’s The Pointe?

Sooo... I maaaay have gotten this idea earlier yesterday and I needed to write it. Let me know if you folks would like me to continue it.

Big thanks to @jermeryl and @shadowtheif117 for their ideas 😊

When Blake loses her entire career because of one man, she loses her spark. Her flame. Her passion. But perhaps it can be found with a flame?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Adam Taurus could go fuck himself.

Blake was pissed as she drove to work in her new city. And hurt and angry.

The man she had loved had successfully destroyed her career that she had basically been working towards since she was two years old. Ballet had been her entire life. The thing that brought her joy.

And when she successfully made it to Mantle’s top shows, she soon found herself co-starring alongside Adam. And she thought he had the same passion that she did. The same love and hope and compassion that she did. But it turned that he held a secret hobby; using their tours as an alibi for his crimes. Theft, assault, Hell, even murder!

When he got caught, not even Blake could refute the evidence that piled up against him. It tore her apart to realise that the man she lived had become a monster. To realise that she had been manipulated and used since she was eighteen years old. But what really destroyed her? Was when Sienna asked her to leave their company.

In other words; “You’ll never dance professionally again, kid.”

And so Blake moved to Vale, where she found herself immensely grateful for her mother’s insistence that she get an online degree of some kind while she performed. At least she could still be a journalist, she supposed.

But losing her career was like losing that spark. That special little flame that was all hers. The question now was; would she ever find it again?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The potential answer to that question came one day after work. The day had been long (mostly due to her co-worker, Sun. Sweet guy, means well. But with very little understanding of personal boundaries.) and had decided to get a cup of tea after work.

As she she was sitting at an outside table with a new book, her eyes landed on a dance studio across the street.

‘Greek Fire?’ Blake thought to herself with a small smile. ‘Cute.’

Her ears flicked and she attempted to get lost in her book, but the 22 year old cat faunus soon realised that it was damn near impossible to focus. Her mind and gaze kept drifting to the dance studio. It called to her, like a siren luring sailers to their deaths.

‘Fuck it.’ She finally decided as she finished her tea and returned her book to her back. ‘Let’s go check it out.’

When she entered the studio, she was hit by a wave of modern music. She suddenly felt very overdressed in her jeans and button down shirt.

“Yang, I swear if you say one more thing…”

“Ah, c’mon, Nikos’. Vomit Boy’s not gonna make a move. Go get your boy.”

Blake nearly died when she looked aver at two women that were stretching by the benches, dressed in simple work out clothes; sweat pants and sports bras, though one of them had a glove on her right arm. The issue was that they were very fit, very attractive women and her mind went blank for a moment.

‘Welp. If I had any doubts about my sexuality before, I sure as hell don’t now.’ She thought to herself as the redhead arched her back. Dear God. She had the face of a wood nymph and the body of an MMA fighter!

“Um. Excuse me?” She called, shaking herself out of her disaster state. “Hi. I’m new in town and-“

“Oh! A new potential member, Yang! It’s so wonderful to meet you!”

Blake nearly jumped out of her skin when the redhead came over with a pleasant smile.

“My name is Pyrrha Nikos’ and I’m the captain of this team. I really hope you’ll join us. We could do with some fresh blood.” Pyrrha said, shaking her hand enthusiastically. “I’m getting a little sick of the blonde one.” She added with a conspiratorial wink.

‘Yup.’ Blake thought. ‘Definitely bi.’

“Wow, thanks, Pyrr.” Came a sarcastic drawl as the blonde made her way over slowly. She carried herself with more… presence. Like she knew that eyes were on her and welcomed it. Blake narrowed her eyes at the cocky smirk. “Don’t scare off the fresh meat. She’s too cute to lose.”

Blake tried not flush as she glowered at the blonde woman.

“My name’s Yang, Pyrrha’s best friend. What’s your name, gorgeous?” Yang asked, directing what she probably thought was a charming smile at Blake. Blake, however, refused to play her game.

“Blake.” She said shortly with a sneer as she turned back to Pyrrha, who seemed greatly amused by the current situation. “Is she always like this? Because I might have to leave if she is.”

She smirked at the sputtering sound that followed as Pyrrha hid a giggle behind her hand.

“Oh I like you. Let me show you around?” Pyrrha asked, holding out an elbow as she directed a knowing smirk at Yang.

“Of course. I do appreciate it when a girl knows how to be a true gentlewoman.” Blake quipped, purposefully ignoring the still sputtering blonde.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Okay. So you’re a street dancing crew?” Blake asked curiously. She had always admired street dancers. The skill and passion that they held for their craft was incredible. “That’s so cool.”

“We are.” Pyrrha said with a flattered smile. “We have our main team, along with several pairs and a few singles.” Her smile turned sharp as they entered the room where they had left Yang, purposely speaking louder. “Poor Yang has been a single for so long. Nobody can put up with her.”

“Fuck you.” Came the eloquent reply.

A loud ringing sound from office interrupted Pyrrha’s retort and she quickly excused herself while Yang decided to take the opportunity to try and make a better impression.

“Hey.” She grinned nervously. Blake stared at her blankly. “Um. I like your hair! Goes great with your… face?”

Blake blinked at her, left ear flicking as she attempted to hide her amusement. At least she wasn’t the only disaster in town.

“Thanks.” She said shortly, inwardly snickering at the almost desperate look on the blonde’s face.

She took the time to really look at Yang. Extremely fit, definitely beautiful. Especially her eyes. Lilac pools that seemed to shine with a kindness and intelligence to them.

“Look, I’m sorry about before.” Yang sighed, averting her gaze. “I like to mess with Pyrrha but I guess I made you uncomfortable so I apologise.” She finished, making eye contact as she apologised.

Blake was stunned. She hadn’t been expecting an apology. Especially not such an emotionally intelligent one.

‘Hmm.” She thought to herself. ‘She’s certainly interesting.’

“Uh. Don’t worry about it.” She coughed into her fist. “You’re good.”

The two stood there awkwardly for a moment until Yang spoke up again.

“So what kind of dancing do you do?” Her eyes were bright with curiosity, a fire within.

“Ballet.” Blake said, slightly taken aback by the passionate gleam in the other woman’s eyes.

“Ballet?” Yang snorted derisively. “Of fucking course. Cute girl, horrible choice in dance.” Welp. Pop goes the bubble.

“Excuse me?!” Blake bristled.

“You heard me.” Yang muttered. “Every ballerina I’ve ever met is stuck up, pompous and pretentious as fuck. Not to mention that not a single one of you can keep up with my crew.” Yang huffed, staring Blake down. “Why should you be any different?”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” Blake growled, ears pinned. “I can keep up with you just fine, Sweetheart.”

When the other woman’s eyes almost seemed to flash red, Blake knew she hit a nerve.

“Don’t call me Sweetheart.” Yang growled, eyes narrowed as she leaned down. Blake, however, didn’t back down.

“Fine, I won’t.” She smirked as she leaned towards Yang’s face. “Sweetheart,” She whispered with a sharp grin. Her competitive nature was showing and she was enjoying herself.

“You really think you can keep up?” Yang said quietly. “Then prove me wrong, Princess.” She walked over to her bag, adjusting the long glove covering her right hand and arm, and pulled out a pen and notebook. She wrote something down and walked back over and handed it to Blake.

“We’re having an open night competition this weekend. If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to see what the pretty little sugar plum fairy can do.” She smirked.

“Oh.” Blake laughed. “It will an honour to wipe the floor with you.” She said confidently as she walked towards the door. “I need to go. But say goodbye to Pyrrha for me.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Yang snorted. “And don’t forget your tutu, Princess!”

“I’ll put on my best leotard just for you, Sweetheart. Just for you.” Blake said over her shoulder, throwing a playful wink before walking out the door as Yang sputtered angrily.

For the first time in a long time, Blake was excited. She was thrilled.

And she couldn’t wait for the weekend.

[nellied-reviews]

Box 953 Re-listen

Well, I got a bit side-tracked by life (seriously, I had to take an impromptu trip to a consulate!) but I am back, and just in time for episode 8 of Wolf 359:

Box 953

In which Eiffel finds a mysterious box, Hilbert really wants to avoid the quarterly talent show and Minkowski is the very model of a modern major general.

Sometimes I'm surprised by these episodes when I get back round to them. This one? Not so much. I think I actually remembered pretty much everything relevant about this episode, going into it: Eiffel is avoiding Minkowski, finds a mysterious box, the mysterious box gets blown up before we see what’s inside it.

And in general, I do like the episode a lot. It's funny, after all, and it does that thing that I'm noticing a lot on the re-listen where the show throws out a big weird mystery, then ends up dropping it with a theatrical shrug of the shoulders. It's a smart thing to do, because all of the unanswered questions ("Do those transmissions really come from Earth?", "There's a plant monster on the loose!", "What's with that weird voice?", "What's in the box?") could be answered in the future, but could just as easily not be. Sure, some of them are super important and interesting in hindsight. But burying the plot-relevant questions under a heap of less relevant but equally intriguing questions disguises them, and means that we're surprised when something like, say, that weird ghost voice comes back later on. Plus it creates the impression that the Hephaestus itself is a setting full of mysteries and weird things. Which is fun.

As we begin, though, all we know is that Eiffel, for whatever reason, is hiding from Minkowski in a store room. Why? Turns out, Minkowski is worryingly invested in their quarterly talent show, while Eiffel is... less than enthusiastic.

And look, I am easily pleased. The idea of the four crew members being forced to participate in a mandatory talent show is very funny to me. The fact that this is quarterly - and so they have, presumably, already suffered through several of them - makes me smile a lot. Eiffel and Hilbert being united in their dread of it? Awesome. I love it. Honestly, it makes me want to consume and/or write fanfic about the Hephaestus' previous talent shows, and the shenanigans that I just know must have been involved.

An another level, though, can we also stop to appreciate how seriously Minkowski takes it all? It's played for laughs throughout, sure, but I do like the fact that Minkowski is the sort of person to go all out and just unselfconsciously embrace the talent show. Her love of musical theatre is so joyful and pure, and I really appreciate it. I think, on some level, it even makes her a more interesting character; instead of going down the well-trodden "I'm a badass with a secret love of something cheesy, which I'm horribly embarrassed of" route, she goes for "I'm a badass with totally non-secret love of something cheesy, which I am totally open and unashamed of." It's a sign of self-confidence, I think, plus a reassuring reminder that Commander Minkowski, badass extraordinaire, nerds out just as hard as the rest of us. (Plus, you really can't be a fan of G&S and take yourself all that seriously, because come on...)

Anyway, the conversation Minkowski and Eiffel then have, and Eiffel's ensuing log entry is just enough to give some tantalising hints of what past talent shows have involved (smoke rings? poetry readings?) before Hilbert calls Eiffel, desperate to avoid the talent show. And his solution? Knock Minkowski out. Because it's Hilbert, so of course that's the answer. *Sighs*.

While Hilbert gets going with that, then, all that remains is for Eiffel to explore the store room. And while this isn’t super relevant, it is a great excuse for a Night Vale-style list of Improbable Weird Things. And seriously, pretty much every single object here is worthy of mention. We have eyeless Russian dolls straight out of a horror movie. We have letters to Santa, a revelation whose implications are both hilarious and baffling. We have Chekhov's cannon, which totally won't be relevant later in the episode.

And in among all this, Eiffel mentions Goddard Futuristics by name for the very first time, which actually surprised me. I thought they'd already come up, since in hindsight, they really do have their fingers in everything going on up on the Hephaestus, even in the first few episodes. But I guess this is their first official mention? And to be fair, I do remember assuming, early on, that this was a military mission. So this is probably the point where we are aware, for the first time, of the corporate context of it all, and the fact that it's Goddard who are basically running a for-profit private army here. Which is... fun.

The dystopian side of that is brushed aside here, though, in favour of just revelling in the out-there weirdness of all the stuff that Goddard have stored up on the Hephaestus. L-shaped Lego pieces? 3 suits of armour? The partial skull of megafauna specimen 58 "to be handled with a vague feeling of existential dread"? It's Warehouse 13, in space! 

It's also kind of heartening to see how excited Eiffel is by all this. Like, I know that he essentially got forced to go to space, but he really does have the sense of adventure for it. There's something very sweet about how not-jaded and enthusiastic Eiffel gets, as soon as he encounters something new. And then the plot thickens when he discovers the titular Box 953, which is reserved for Douglas Eiffel. What could possibly be in it? Eiffel, ever curious, is clearly desperate to know.

Before we find out, of course, we're interrupted by Hilbert, whose plan to knock Minkowski out has hone horribly wrong - he's just gotten her drunk. Even better, we get Minkowski's drunken rendition of "I am the very model of a modern major general" in the background during all of this, and kudos to Emma Sherr-Ziarko, because every single thing drunk!Minkowski says from here on out is amazing. From making pirate costumes, to nearly shooting Hilbert over ice cream, to the little hiccup she does, everything about Minkowski here is perfect and wonderful.

It doesn't distract Eiffel for long, though, and soon he's asking Hera what's in the box. She doesn't know, though, and actually can't access those files at all. Instead, she gets the message "Error, inappropriate security clearance", which is pretty creepy. It's the second time in as many episodes, after all, that we hear somebody who isn't Hera speaking through the Hephaestus, and it's a reminder of just how many secrets the station potentially holds. And so all we learn, in the end, is that Box 953 is weird. It's huge, and bolted in place, and it's cold to the touch. Plus it's making a heart beat kind of sound? It's at this point, I noticed, that the background music also cuts away, and we’re left with a weird crackling noise as Eiffel goes to open it. Spooky.

Every part of me was expecting this to be a Pandora's box-type scenario where Eiffel's opening the box would unleash something terrible and all hell would break loose. So when we hear something explode, it seems like confirmation of this... except when we cut back to Eiffel, several in-universe hours later, we learn that the problem wasn't Eiffel opening the box. In fact, Eiffel didn't manage to open the box; the explosion was from Minkowski setting off the cannon. It seems like a lot happened in the three hour gap in the recording (not least, Minkowski ended with burns and frostbite?) and as a result, Box 953 was lost to the vacuum of space. Bummer.

And then that's it. Episode over. Everyone is safe and well, and the station is fine. But we don't learn what was in the box, and I don't think it really come up again? I googled it, and I think I saw a suggestion that it's the simulation-y machine from Change of Mind? But I don't remember the connection really being commented on, and even then it doesn't explain why it's specifically Eiffel's name on the box now. Like... what situation would Command have been expecting him to use it in? Why? How? So many questions, all of them unanswered!

And I suppose that's fine, at the end of the day. I enjoyed this episode, I loved the talent show idea, and I didn't mind the weird storeroom bits. I can imagine that some people probably felt cheated by the lack of answers we got here - and Eiffel's own anger and frustration as the episode ends maybe feels like a concession to those people. But personally, I'm more than willing to leave it as a riddle for the ages. If this had developed into something more later on, that would have been fun. As it is, I didn't mind it one bit, though. As long as you don't overdo it, weirdness for weirdness' sake can be plenty entertaining. 

Plus, drunk Minkowski is a gift to us all :)

Miscellaneous thoughts:

So I checked out the poem that got name-dropped in this episode, Sylvia Plath's Lady Lazarus, and holy smokes, disturbing much? In an interesting kind of way, sure, but still disturbing...

"You can't solve all your problems by knocking them out." "You know, people keep saying that, and yet my problems keep going away."  

D'awww Hilbert is enjoying this, isn't he?

I bet your alcohol tolerance goes way down in space. Hmm...

"Eiffel, you do not understand, there is singing."

"Swashes and buckles, Hilbert, swashes and buckles."

Also, it sounds like Hera has absolutely no objections to the talent show, and is just busy practicing her lines? What a cutie ^-^

"I don't know if it was a warning shot or if she just missed." Scared Hilbert is 100% not what I'm used to.. Is this the most frightened we ever hear him?

Don't think I missed Eiffel finding Dr. Fourier's diary :'( (another thing linking this episode to Change of Mind?)

[brightbeautifulthings]

Ahh! I've been meaning to update this for a couple weeks, so I'm just going to dump a list of everything I've been reading lately. Naturally, I seem to be doing everything I can to avoid a bingo. 😂

Protagonist of color: Where Dreams Descend by Janella Angeles (3/5) This fell short for me in a lot of ways, but I did enjoy its poc main character, Kallia, a confident and sassy magician with more power than any of the men.

Creepy: Cheerleaders: The Evil Lives! by R.L. Stine (3/5) This series has plenty of creeps in it, but this was probably my least favorite of the books. It's like watching Final Destination 4 or 5, long after the original cast has disappeared and the deaths are increasingly ridiculous. The Evil itself is plenty creepy though, and I enjoyed the backstory on Sarah Fear.

Has a cat in it: Strange Planet by Nathan W. Pyle (3/5) The cat comic is probably one of the most famous from the web series. "I have named it."  "Will it respond to this name?" "Never."

Retelling: The Court of Miracles by Kester Grant (5/5) This is a top-notch Les Mis retelling and one of my favorite books so far this year. It's super dark with a kickass heroine, Nina (Éponine), and a lush criminal fantasy world.

Written between 1960 and 1980: The Mothman Prophecies by John A. Keel (2/5) What... did I even just read? This is way less cryptid than an exhaustive list of UFO/MIB sightings, with little overarching narrative to connect them. Love monsters, could take or leave aliens.

Reread: The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic (5/5) I'm always nervous that my favorite books won't hold up on rereads, but I loved this series just as much the second time through. It's compulsively readable, and as soon as I finish the third one (every time), I want to start over again immediately.

Written in your lifetime: House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas (4/5) There's no reason an urban fantasy crime/mystery needs to be 800 pages long. It has pacing problems galore, but Maas excels at character and world-building, and the plot was twisty enough to keep me guessing.

Fantasy: The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (4/5) This was a lovely buddy read with Lore. While not my favorite of Holly Black's books, it's a solid start to the series, and I'm looking forward to the rest.

Romance: Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (5/5) So. Many. Feelings. I was expecting cute fluff, and there's plenty of that, but the book took me through the emotional spectrum. I laughed, cried, and got seethingly angry on behalf of the characters. Totally worth the hype.

Lush descriptions: The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma (4/5) I love Suma's writing. She's a master of creepy atmosphere and marginalized female characters. I struggled a little with this book on my first read, but I liked it a lot more on my second round. The ending is easier to follow, and I had a better sense of the shifting timelines/who was alive and who was dead.

Audiobook: Welcome to Night Vale I'm probably never going to make it through an audiobook. I've tried a couple and can't seem to get into them. I'm a visual learner, so reading on page is always going to work better for me. I have been listening to the podcast Welcome to Night Vale though, which is a big deal for me because I'm not a big podcast person either, so I'm going to count that! I just got through episode 25 ("One Year Later"), with some super adorable Cecilos in it. Will definitely keep listening.

[chiefofboatwatsonstittymug]

Which Fics?

Tagged by @boasamishipper​, thank you :D

Which of your fics…

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

Honestly my target audience for writing fic is myself so any time anyone other than me or (in the cases of exchanges) my intended recipient likes a fic that's still a novelty to me 😂

…got a better reaction than you expected?

Monsters. Wrote it solely because I thought the dynamic could be interesting, somehow ended up with like 50k hits.

…is your funniest?

Probably Subjugation, which is a silly Night Vale/Avengers crossover

…is your darkest or angstiest?

As far as posted fics go, probably my Darkest Night fic from this year, What’s Left of Us. That said, I have a few Person of Interest WIPs that are probably objectively darker, they just haven’t been posted yet. Both of them, weirdly enough, involve whumping Elias. I-know-what-i’m-about-son.jpg

…is your absolute favorite?

Breathe

…is your least favorite?

[stares at Harry Potter fics on fanfiction.net I wrote for a former friend in like 2012 whilst Disturbed’s cover Simon & Garfunkel’s of Sound of Silence plays in background]

…was the easiest to write?

Breathe, by a long shot. That said, once I’d got into the swing of writing What’s Left of Us that was pretty easy

…was hardest to write?

Huh now that’s a hard question, because I guess realistically the hardest are the multi-chapter ones because I have to keep writing them, but I have a few older WIPs that haven’t been posted because I’m stuck on something.

…has your favorite lines/exchange/paragraph? (share it!)

Probably something from an as-yet-unposted WIP so I’m not sharing yet :P

…have you reread the most?

Of my own fics? Hope for the Hopeless maybe. Or generally one of the POI ones because they’re not very long and they’re a little older so I’ve had more time to reread.

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Any of the rarepair works because I want people to Join Me In Hell, or those for small fandoms that tend to get overlooked like The Right Sort and What’s Left of Us.

…are you most proud of?

Breathe again, but I do love Until the Light. I suppose I’ll be more proud of that one if I ever get the damn thing finished, lol.

I’m not tagging anyone specifically but if you want to do this say I tagged you so I can stalk!