#but apparently my need to write everything the way i want it before the writers can is pathological now

[iid-smile]

waterfall , tomioka giyuu

x gn!reader ! giyuu using his water breathing, he asks for permission to confess and impress you!

author's note: im having writers block with kny specifically (future sunny: thats a bad excuse btw... i just dont because idk what to write for majority of the characters) so literally everything these days is jjk. justice for kny!!!!

double author's note: hi... future sunny here. this message ^^ yeah, that was FOUR WEEKS AGO now its just laziness rather than writers block... thats why the dialogue has literally no description half the time and i really did not want to finish this

triple author's note: ahaha i bet you've never seen three in a row 😈 anyways i forgot to post this after i proofread it half asleep so here u go

"do you like rivers?"

"mhm."

"what about lakes?"

"i like anything to do with water, tomioka. you don't need to worry so much about what i like."

"i'm not worried." giyuu's gaze turns away from you, like it always does, and he looks straight ahead. "there's just something i want to try."

though slightly wary of his intentions, you know that giyuu isn't the type of guy to put you in situations where he doesn't have your consent first. and quite clearly, it's something to do with water, because he's been awfully chatty about different bodies of water, fishes, and just nature in general. it's difficult to make a guess of what he's planning, because sometimes he can just be so unintentionally unpredictable. and weird. he's a weirdo.

you walk behind him so he's able to lead the way. now that he's gone all quiet again, you can't help but furrow your eyebrows a bit. something he wanted to try? what could he possibly want to try in the middle of the night? let alone in a forest...

finally, he comes to a halt. obviously, you're a bit... confused, being stopped in front of a large, and deep body of water surrounded by rocks.

"hold my hand."

"why?"

as if he knew you were going to ask that, he turns to face you with not a single change in his expression, neatly holding out his hand to you. "i'm going to do something, and i don't want you to slip." something. there's that something again.

your eyes flicker from his hand to his face just a few times, then to the surroundings, looking out for anything odd. he wouldn't be the type to prank you, would he?

"do you not trust me?"

"i do. it's just this something that you mention..."

"don't worry. i won't do anything bad."

would it be bad to say that he immediately soothed your worries? he was already speaking more than he usually would, and you noticed his free hand was always on the handle of his sword, so he's vigilant. no worries at all. you take his hand. it's cold, and unexpectedly smooth. "what are you going to do?"

no answer. he takes a step closer to the edge, just one little tip toe away from the surface of the water. "by any chance.." giyuu remains quiet, head bowed to the water below before his eyes move back up to yours. "do you have a significant other?"

"no..."

"then," for a beat, he looks off to the side, and then turns his head back to you. "can i ask for your permission for me to... attempt to court you?"

"ah, is this why you brought me all the way out here? you have feelings for me?"

"...you found me out."

"you just told me that?"

"i didn't mean to."

the back of your hand comes up to your lips, poorly silencing your giggles. "you're a bit silly sometimes."

no response. "come."

giyuu takes a step down from the rocks, and into the body of water. from above, it was difficult to tell how far down the bottom of the lake was. "my clothes—"

he cuts you off. "don't worry. they won't get wet."

maybe he's telling the truth, since his aren't either. one last time, you look down at your covered feet, a nervous twitch running through them as the chill breeze suddenly became so apparent.

immediately, you're met with dreamlike arches of water and splashes surrounding the two of you, frozen in time and unmoving. for the first time, it feels like you're genuinely seeing his breathing technique visually, the sight similar to a vivid lucid dream. except this... this is way better. right in the climax, streams shoot up into the air, curving and twisting to form a heart in the center, then dispersing just as quick, the drops of rain disappearing into nothing as it touches skin.

it was beautiful, but beautiful wasn't even a word good enough to describe it.

"tomioka—?" but as you turn around, giyuu is nowhere to be seen. "huh? tomioka?"

you look left, and you look right. nobody's around: not a single life in sight. the trees are quiet, only the splashing of the waterfall fills in for the lack of noise around. and when you look down at your feet, you only see your legs submerged in water, all the way up to your knees. your haori steadily soaked up the liquid, the material darkening and growing heavier on your shoulders. "my socks!"

yes, you did have to walk home with wet tabi socks and zori with an uncomfortably damp surface. and yes, you did walk home with a constant flutter in your heart, not even knowing when the next time you'll catch a glimpse of him will be.

[luveline]

Hi Jade! Had an idea for a Sirius fic (or poly if that’s something you feel like writing for!) where r loves dogs and animals but gets kinda scared when meeting them (especially large ones) in real life. So Sirius is all sweet with her as padfoot as a way to help her get over her fear. Love you!!! You’re truly such an amazing writer ❤️❤️

thank you, I love you ♡ and thank u for ur request!! —a stray dog befriends you on the way to sirius' flat. fem!reader, 1.3k

You're walking from the costcutters to Sirius' block of flats when you feel as though you're being followed. You look around in a sweep, but can't spot anybody besides a handful of children in the park across the street. 

Feeling weary, you pick up your pace and slide your phone from your pocket. I'm five mins from ur flat, you text. If anything happens, he'll know you were here. 

Childish giggles ride the breeze. You look back over your shoulders to see why, not for any particular reason beyond curiosity, only to see their short fingers pointing and waving at a scruffy black dog trotting behind you. 

You flinch on impulse. He's not an especially scary dog, but his appearance is a surprise. He has no collar, no leash. 

You stop walking, worried he might come closer. You love animals in theory, but you're anxiously disposed. Things that move quickly make you flighty. 

The dog stops a couple of feet from you. His head tilts left, tongue darting out of his mouth. 

"Hi, puppy," you say nervously. 

Like he can understand the irony, he sits down on his back legs and shakes his head, ears flopping from one side to the other. He's a very big dog. 

You frown. He's not cute enough to make you feel confident in approaching him —you've seen how bad some injuries can be from animal attacks. Sirius always tells you to chill out, The chances of that happening to you are so low, doll. You don't have to worry about it every time you see a dog. I'll get you a taser. 

I don't wanna tase a dog, even if it is trying to eat me, you'd said, flabbergasted. 

Sirius laughed at you. I don't know what to tell you, then. I'll just have to go with you everywhere. 

"Bye, puppy," you say, spinning on your heel. 

You walk briskly. The dog follows. You're afraid to turn to check on him, listening to his footsteps on the pavement, the scratch of his nails. He'd chase you if he were going to hurt you, right? 

You turn back around slowly, wondering if he can smell the packet of bacon you'd bought for Sirius' roommate and best friend, James. If you feed it to the dog, James won't want to forgive you (he needs mucho protein, apparently), but he probably will if it's to save yourself from harm. 

You look up from the corner store bag. The dog has laid down and bared his stomach to you, tongue lolled out the side of his mouth and panting. You swear he wiggles his legs to entice you in. 

"Oh, um." You put the bacon back in the bag. "You want a stroke?" you ask gently. 

His tail wags across the pavement. 

The walk to meet him is nerve-wracking. You extend your hand first to let him sniff you, flinching as his head comes up and he investigates your scent. He gives your index finger a quick lick. 

"Are you friendly?" you ask in the same gentle tone as before. "Please don't bite me, okay? My boyfriend, he acts like he's tough," —you extend your hand to the dogs face and stroke his jaw— "and he kind of is, but when I get hurt he goes crazy." You pop your bag down and use your newly freed hand to scratch his tummy tentatively. When he doesn't growl, you give it a good go. "Aw, you're gorgeous. You're not gonna bite, I can see that. Siri was right. He's right about nearly everything." 

The dog curls in toward your hand and starts licking you appreciatively. 

"You're lovely," you praise. "Where's your home? Do you have someone to look after you?" 

He licks you again. It's kind of gross in a cute way, or cute in a gross way. Sometimes when Sirius is feeling disgusting he'll lick a big playful stripe up your neck between kisses, though you have less fear of rabies when that happens. 

"I don't want to make any promises, but I can make you some dinner. Siri's a devoted vegetarian, but his friend treats me like his little meat delivery girl, so he owes me a couple of rashers if you want them." The dog snorts. You giggle happily. "Ew! Don't sneeze on me, handsome, I need to look presentable!" 

The dog tilts his head. You pretend it's quizzical, rubbing his belly enthusiastically. "I want to look pretty for my boy. Might be difficult if I'm covered in mucus, and I need all the help I can get– woah! Holy fu–" 

You fall back on the heels of your hands as the dog jumps into your lap. You push your face into your shoulder in fear, but the dog doesn't hurt you. He snuggles up to your chest and licks at your chin. 

"You're a good boy. Maybe I shouldn't be so scared of doggies after all," you say, sighing with relief. "Good boy. If you come home with me I'll make you some dinner, okay?" 

The dog is remarkably smart. He follows you home and waits at the door, sitting smartly by a potted plant. You race up stairs to Sirius and James' flat and knock on the door.

"Hi," James says, giving you a genial smile as he lets you in. "Sirius isn't home from work yet." 

"Sorry for bursting in on you," you say sheepishly. "I brought your bacon! And I was wondering if I could ask you for a favour." 

James is happy enough to give you some diced chicken he'd been keeping for his meal prep. Which is to say, he'll have to cook more, but he's a nice guy, and thankful that you always ask him if he needs anything before you come over. You rush downstairs again, breathless as you push open the door of the building. 

"Puppy?" you ask. 

"Not my favourite pet name, but I'll take it." 

Sirius stands where you'd left the dog, tucking hair behind his ears. It's standing up every which way. 

"Did you see the dog?" you ask urgently. 

"Nope, just me out here." 

You tip your head back in defeat. "I promised a stray I'd give him something to eat." 

"A stray?" he asks, pulling a bobble from his wrist. He begins scraping bedraggled curls from his face, disarming you with the sight of his tense biceps and his hiked shirt. 

"I'm not sure what kind of dog it was, but it was– it was big." 

"Yeah? Didn't scare you, did it?" he asks in concern. 

You hug James' tupperware to your chest, trying to seem less proud of yourself than you are. Sirius has this way of making you feel like you're a wonder with his eyes alone, dark gaze roaming your face like he knows something you don't. 

He drops his arms to his sides. "I knew you'd be okay. They're not so different from puppies, big dogs. Was he excited?" 

"He let me scratch his tummy." 

"That means he really likes you," Sirius says, holding his hand out for you. You place your hand in his. "We'll keep an eye out for him, alright? You know, I heard dogs like fruit, like, apples and bananas. Maybe you can feed him fruit salad?" 

You preen as he rubs your upper arms together, leading you back to the door, though his comment is puzzling. "You don't think he'd like the chicken?" 

"Nah."

"How do you know?" you ask, bemused.

Sirius looks very sure, bringing your joined hands up to his lips to kiss your ring finger. "Funny feeling." 

[alexaloraetheris]

So my post about mold BLEW up (sorry @homunculus-argument for highjacking your post 😅) so now I'm sweating not just because I did minimal research for recreating that protocol and noticed some mistakes (I'll correct them in the second part) and also some people took it way too seriously than it was intended, and apparently someone got the idea to ACTUALLY TRY AND MAKE PENICILIN WITH IT???

(The American healthcare system continues to scare me.)

I thought it would be best to outright say DO NOT DO THAT. This was a fun thought experiment in case of time travel, I thought I didn't need to say that this is, at most, a fun little guide for writers who didn't have a background in science but wanted to write a plausible explanation how someone could get away with recreating a 'panacea' in the time before germ theory. THAT'S IT. This is not a recipe for making at-home antibiotics, holy crap. Penicilin goes through a shitton of testing and purification, in a proper lab with proper equipment, by people who studied for this specifically, and is concentrated into a proper dosage by pharmacists and perscribed by doctors. Even if you did everything right down to isolation DOSAGE ABSOLUTELY MAKES THE POISON HERE, actually trying this out and consuming it COULD GET YOU KILLED.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, PLEASE.

[vvanillavveins]

On the WTNV finale:

Look, i like Brinknor. They helped me fall back in love with Night Vale when i was feeling particularly uninspired. It's hard to put it into words; i have adhd & i struggle to remember big intricate plots unless something reoccurring has really grabbed hold of my attention, and before Brinknor, i was struggling to sink my teeth into anything attention-holding, so to speak. I guess i was becoming less enthusiastic in Night Vale's storyline as time went on, even though i couldn't really work out why. I just couldn't stop tuning out. But, with Brinknor, there came a bunch of shiny new plotpoints- at a faster pace. The show could actually hold my focus properly, and my wtnv fixation was suddenly up & running again.

All this is to say that i know it's just my impatience talking when i say that i wish that the loose ends of those new, interesting plotpoints had been tied up a little more by episode 250. I adore the way they write about Cecil's childhood and his family, and i want Kevin & The Boy's arc to be given the same amount of love, and attention, and time that the Palmer siblings' arc got. The same goes for Tamika. And Carlos. And Lauren, actually. Yes, i know she was a central figure in the last 2 episodes, and i loved that because she's one of my favourite characters. I fucking adore eldritch Mother Lauren. But still, it was all too vague to really learn anything new about her or the desert otherworld. And, above all else, i can't help but think of how wonderful it would've been if Charles and Donovan were included in the finale- especially Donovan.

When Kevin first came back in 2023, one of my silly little hcs as to why he was apparently in the Smiling God's bad books (and why he didn't mention Charles or Donovan) was that because Charles & Donovan aren't from Desert Bluffs they haven't devoted themselves to the Smiling God like the rest of the townsfolk. They wouldn't "smile" properly. One of my darker ideas at the time was the possibility of Kevin having to choose between making them part of his faith, i.e., making them "smile" like the rest of Desert Bluffs (which i doubt he'd go through with after his mudstone abyss arc), or having Charles & Donovan leave town (which i doubt they'd go through with), or, doing neither & keeping quiet about his life with them to avoid drawing attention. If he chose the latter and then got found out, it would make sense that he'd stop being the Smiling God's favourite. Obviously, i never thought any of that was correct- i was just having fun- and i was excited to find out the real story further down the line.

But that didn't happen, and we still don't really have many answers. Everything to do with Kevin, and Lauren, and The Boy got wrapped up in about 10 minutes flat. We've already had an emotional Fatherhood themed episode with Cecil & Abby; we didn't need another one just for the sake of it.

With the context of what we already know about Kevin's father, the ending of episode 250 was just uncomfortable. Sure, Kevin's talked about his father positively before, but that's always been in contrast with the actual content of his memories. It's always been made clear that the script/the writers disagree with Kevin's sunny outlook, and therefore the listeners should too. Those moments are there to demonstrate just how fucked up Kevin really is, and that his positivity is just a coping mechanism. But this time Cecil spoke for him, so we didn't get Kevin's usual sing-song rambling. It was calm, and collected, and matter-of-factly. And this time there were no sugar-coated descriptions of abuse, only genuine praise. We were actually supposed to agree with him this time, and it made the whole speech (and ending) sound hollow and forced.

I really didn't like this episode. It felt rushed. It tried to cover far too much far too quickly, and it failed. But, despite all that, i am hoping that future episodes will bring some sort of clarity about what happened. And hopefully some closure about Kevin and his family, too. I want loose ends to get tied up properly and i believe that maybe, with time, the important ones will be. Slow burning subplots are kinda quintessential to Night Vale's writing at this point anyway. Brinknor definitely missed the mark with this one, but they're still incredibly talented writers and i'm not ready to give up on them like some of the other fans on here.

Besides, i think that some of Night Vale's worst episodes are still incredible pieces of writing in their own right. The bad episodes are only bad in comparison to the dozens upon dozens of absolutely phenomenal episodes that make up the rest of a show that is, for the most part, a joy to listen to. So, here's to some hopefully better episodes in the future, i guess.

[thebigbadbatswife]

Hi sorry to bother you or bug you but can you please write a fanfic or maybe a short post about how would the mail Justice League members would react to female superhero reader while she's on her period apparently I'm on the starting stage of having my period cramps are the worst and I need comfort you can make this however you want it's up to you I understand if you don't want to that's fine but if you do want to do this thank you so much you're an awesome person and an amazing writer and also I think you're writing is awesome never stop loving yourself and never stop treating yourself also don't forget to have a self care day 😇

 Hey! You’re not bothering me at all! 

You know what I don’t normally take requests (refer to my pinned post), but screw it. I’m having a shitty time with my own uterus so why not? Nothing makes me feel better than reading and/or writing fluff when I feel bad and hopefully this’ll make you and other people feel better as well 💜

I’ve already done a post similar to this featuring Bruce (you can find that here) so for this I’m just going to be doing Arthur, Clark and Ollie* since I know them better than I do the rest of the League. I hope that’s okay! 

And thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad that you like my writing! I hope that you enjoy 💜

*And a bonus w/ Diana since the idea came to me while I was writing the boys and I could not resist and just had to include her.

Warnings - F!Reader. Established Relationship. Period mentions (Obviously). Comfort. Fluff!

Clark keeps track of your cycle so that he can always make sure you’re stocked up on the things that you need. Chocolates, sweets, sanitary products, pain medicines, his mom’s special homemade cookies. You name it, he’s already stocked the cupboards and fridge with it. 

Definitely a bit of a mother hen. Likes to dote on you and make sure that you’re fed and hydrated, but isn’t overbearing or condescending in any way. He knows that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. He also knows that there are times where you just want to be taken care of and cuddled in bed until you’re feeling better, he’s more than happy to do so. He’s also a walking furnace so no more waiting for a hot water bottle or heat pad to warm up when you’ve got Clark right there instead.

Arthur is a lot of like Clark. Keeps track of your cycle, makes sure you have everything you could possible need. You don’t even need to lift a finger as he will have the palace staff bring it straight to you. 

Obviously, as king of Atlantis, he has duties he must attend to, but the ones that he can pass off to others he does so that he can be there for you while you need him. When he is with you be ready for lots of kissing and cuddling as he makes it up to you and does his best to make you feel better. 

Oliver can be… a little bit forgetful. He doesn’t keep track of your cycle like Clark and Arthur, at least he doesn’t in the very beginning of your relationship. Definitely makes the wrong joke at the wrong time and the glare that you give him is more than enough for him to realise he’s messed up and badly. He’s quick to start making amends though!

Waits on you hand and foot. Anything that you want he will run and get it for you. To the point that it’s like he’s trying to compete with the Flash for the title of fastest man alive. Still makes jokes, but now they’re so ridiculously corny it’s hard to not laugh at them when you’re still trying your very best to be mad at him. Is more than happy to snuggle with you (once you have forgiven him and will actually let him).

Bonus!

Diana, of course, knows just how much periods can hurt. She sympathises with you greatly when she finds you curled upon the couch and she hates to see you in such pain and discomfort. She makes sure that you have eaten, drunk something and had some pills before she is pulling you to lay on top of her, strong muscular arms wrapping around you and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. She won’t be leaving your side until you’re feeling better so if there is anything that you need she will order it in for you instead.

[tartts-blog]

My Reputation's Never Been Worse, But You Can Buy Me A Drink (Part Two)

Roy Kent x Fem!Singer!Reader

Taylor Swift Reputation Inspired Series- Requested by @akornsworld

series summary: roy and the reader go from strangers, to lovers, to so much more. inspired by taylor swift-reputation.

part summary: roy and the reader begin dating and secret, and he catches writing a song about him late at night

content warning: language, mild smut if you squint, mentions of an abusive relationship

a/n: this series will likely be 8 parts. feel free to comment or message me any other requests! i write for roy, jamie, and royxjamie. i'll also consider writing for keeley depending on the request.

masterlist

After your night at Bones and Honey, you didn’t see Roy again for another three weeks. You were trying to force yourself to get out of your writers block and write your new album, so you hadn’t gone out of the house much. Even alcohol had stopped helping you get out of your head. The only thing that had been helping you relax was reading. Which is why you decided while waiting in line for coffee at your favorite coffee shop that that’s exactly what you were going to do when you got home. But the universe apparently had other plans, because nearly immediately after the thought crossed your mind Roy Kent walked through the door.

He seemed to be just as surprised as you, and nodded at you hesitantly. You smiled and gave him a small wave in return. He looked different than the last time you saw him. Not necessarily physically, but something had definitely changed in his demeanor. He seemed move related, almost content, which was a stark contrast from the man you met at bones and honey weeks ago. You decided to walk over and stand in line with to him. The barista looked at you questionably, but you didn't care.

“How are you? It’s been a minute since we’ve seen each other.” Truthfully you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the night you spent together, but he doesn’t need to know that. He looked over at you when he heard you talk, and softly smiled.

“Good. Fucking busy, but good.”

“That’s good, I’m glad. Same for me to be honest. I’ve just been working on my new album.” The small talk ended up turning into a three hour conversation at the coffee shop, and before you left you exchanged phone numbers. You realized once you got home that you hadn’t stopped smiling since you saw him. Upon realizing that, you also realized that you hadn’t smiled like that since your piece of shit ex-boyfriend almost destroyed everything you’d worked for.

A couple months after your run-in at the coffee shop, you and Roy officially started dating. You can confidently say that you’ve never been happier. You both agreed that you were going to keep it on the very down low for the foreseeable future, because neither of you wanted to be swarmed by the press or all over social media in general. Roy was loving it. He loved the quiet simple moments with you, they quickly became the favorite part of his day. You were everything to him, even if he wasn’t good at vocally sharing his feelings with you. You were in the same boat. You’ve always shared your feelings through song, it was the only way you felt like you could really express yourself.

On your quiet nights in once Roy fell asleep, you typically went downstairs to your in-house studio and worked on writing or recording for your new album. The past week you had been working on a song about how he helped you recover from your ex, and just how much you adored him in general. You were hoping that you’d be able to surprise him with the song when the album dropped, but fate had other plans. He woke up one night while you were working on it, and came downstairs to find you. You were so engrossed in what you were doing, you didn’t hear him coming when he came up behind you.

“Oi-” You gasped and jumped up from the chair you were sitting in.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Roy! You scared the fucking shit out of me.” He laughed and walked up to.

“Sorry love, didn’t mean to. What’re you doin? It’s late.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

My baby’s fit like a daydream

“Just writing for my album. It’s nothin’ great yet, just some lyrics I’ve been thinking over.” You felt slight embarrassed at the thought of him hearing your unfinished song, so you pulled him closer to you and tucked your head into his neck. He rested his chin on your head in response.

“Cut the shit, I’m sure it’s fucking amazing,” he paused, seemingly debating if he wanted to say what he was thinking, then continued, “Can I hear it?” You inhaled, and held your breath for a moment. You thought it over for a second, and decided that it couldn’t hurt to let him hear the bits and pieces you had, even if it was a little embarrassing to you.

“Sure, just keep in mind it’s not all cohesive yet. And I’m not makin’ eye contact with you or I’ll laugh and not be able to get through it.” He chuckled at that as you sat down at the piano, and began to play.

My castle crumbled overnight, I brought a knife to a gunfight… all the liars are calling me one, nobody’s heard from me for months… cause my baby’s fit like a daydream, walkin’ with his head down, I’m the one he’s walking to, so call it want you want yeah, call it what you want… windows boarded up after the storm, he built a fire just to keep me warm… I recall late November, holdin’ my breath, slowly I said, You don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me…

Your singing faded off as you started to recall your and Roy’s first sleepless night from the first month you started dating, a small smile forming on your face. You looked up at him, and he was looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place, which made you suddenly very nervous.

“So, did you like it?” You asked hesitantly. He got up from the chair he sat in when you started playing, and came to kneel in front of you at the piano bench. Due to your height difference, that made you be at perfect eye level.

“Like it? I fucking loved it. You’re fucking brilliant.” He pulled you into a heated kiss, that was full of passion and lust. He hesitantly pulled back, just for a moment, and whispered almost incoherently against your lips, “was that about me?”

“Fuck, yeah it was. Are you okay with that?” You looked into his eyes, feeling very exposed.

“You have no fucking idea just how okay with that I am.” He pulled you back into the kiss, while slowly pulling off your shirt. The rest of your night was spent as a tangle of limbs, burning with passion and desire. I’m laughin’ with my lover, makin’ forts under covers.

[blood-orange-juice]

Started to write Chilumi things/organise my notes and dear gods, I need to perform the same level of analysis/interpretation on Lumine that I've done for Childe for this to work. otherwise I'll fall into the worst stereotypes other fic writers fall into

fun

HOW DO I SPEED UP THIS PROCESS

brainrot supreme

a good thing is that I do like her

Things that I rarely/never/almost never see written, even if they are obvious (although some people draw them and I think these are more common when people write Aether):

There's a deep alienness in her, the way she looks at everything with very little emotion. It's not her being bland, it's the detachment of someone who is just passing through or perhaps someone who isn't human. Friendly cosmic horror.

Her getting progressively fed up with Teyvat

Barely anyone writes Traveler's yearning for their sibling, a passing mention at most. But I think it's always there and most days it's the only thing that is there. They see an architectural style that matches the one from another world and want to share it with their sibling... but the sibling isn't there anymore.

No one to truly share experiences with. No one understands their jokes. No one knows the 2 centuries old philosophical debate from another world they want to reference.

I would also talk very little if I was in their situation.

(this is actually a point of connection with Childe. having experiences that cannot be shared. an invisible wall between them and everyone else)

I hc they don't always take human form in their travels. No one can replicate the beauty of Cad Goddeu, of course, but it won't stop me from referencing it.

I have been in a multitude of shapes, Before I assumed a consistent form. I have been a sword, narrow, variegated, I will believe when it is apparent. I have been a tear in the air, I have been the dullest of stars. I have been a word among letters, I have been a book in the origin. I have been the light of lanterns A year and a half.

[galaxythreads]

i literally don't understand the mcu script writes who've bragged about never having seen the previous movies, like bro??? how do you expect that script to be consistent with the rest of the canon?????????

normally I'd laugh and be like Yeah, anon, these guys are insane, but you have bypassed Mental Breakdown part of my brain and now I am deeply, deeply curious.

---

Why is it that mcu script writers are so proud to be arrogant?

---

Warning for minor language.

So anyway, the person I thought of specifically as being Generally Terrible to the Franchise Lately was Michael Waldron, who wrote Loki, Dr. Strange 2, AND is currently working on Avengers: Secret Wars. (Yay)

So I did a lot of research about where this guy CAME from and how he's impacted everything because I swear to God I'd never heard of him before Loki. And now I see him everywhere, but usually only in loathing.

---

Michael Waldron, according to Wikipedia, is currently 35 as of 2022 and graduated from some Film School i haven't heard of and can't be bothered to remember. He is unmarried(?) and has been active in the film industry since 2014. (8 years, for those of you counting.) He started work on Loki in 2020(? unconfirmed).

The thing that struck me the most was how incredibly short his project list is.

My man has six (6) completed projects. He had three before he started on Loki. And while this doesn't necessarily mean that he's bad, it does show a level of inexperience that baffles me personally.

For comparison, Kenneth Brangah, one of four screenwriters for Thor 1's list is this:

And again, it's not like Brangah's list is enormous, but I do see a lot more experience under their belt before they were approached by MCU rather than Waldron, who had done three projects. Brangah had 20 years in sceenwriting when he went to work for Thor. Waldron had six.

And the amazing thing to me is that even the shows Waldron's executive producer on, he wrote like, two episodes for it? Then he handed it off to other writers. So he doesn't, as far as I can tell and I found, seem to have a lot of experience actually working the writing process, just supervising it.

(I could be wrong)

But here is his latest series Heels, for reference.

the section says "Written by" above the names, I cropped it weirdly.

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So we have a man who has, at this point, worked six years in the industry. He has worked on three shows. He was the assistant for one show, he did not write in the other one, and he has written for ONE show, total. Produced one show, was the executive producer for ONE show.

What I am seeing here, is, from what I can see, a lack of experience. And it shows. Badly.

So why did Marvel hire him?

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According to an interview Waldron did, where I'm drawing a great deal of this information, he has always wanted to work for the Big Leagues. He wanted to work on Star Wars mostly, from what I could see, but he didn't think that Marvel would be bad either. When he approached his agent about how to get working for Marvel his agent told him he needed to have written a movie.

Now you're probably wondering. I DID look at that list of projects he's been involved in, and there wasn't a movie.

You are correct!

Waldron wrote a movie called The Worst Guy of All Time and the Girl Who Came to Kill Him. It's on The Black List and was never filmed, to my understanding. But he sure did write that script. And that script, I believe, is where a lot of issues in Loki start to come to light, but we'll get to that in a minute.

"At some point the script made its way to Marvel as they were meeting people for Loki and that got him in the door to pitch and that pitch got him the job."

When Kevin Feige was hiring directors, Waldron walked in and "I thought I was going to get it, but that's my attitude, I guess, hopefully as unarrogantly as that can sound, but I think you got to be confident" (Waldron). Feige was apparently impressed and hired him on.

Which again, a bold choice that COULD have been great, to give a small name the chance to work on a project like this?? Incredible. Just not in this context.

I feel immensely confused that MCU, which is a multi-billion dollar industry, did NOT actually hire someone with years and years of experience like they did for Thor 1. Instead, they went with someone who, personally to me, didn't have enough experience to seem like he knew what he was doing.

So now Waldron is working in MCU. Things are going great for him. He has TWENTY WEEKS to come up with the plot, the scripts, and the story for the entire Loki series.

TWENTY. I cannot emphasize this enough. That is no time at all. They went from blank slate NO IDEAS to a full script in TWENTY. WEEKS.

So HOW then, did Waldron get approached to do Dr. Strange 2?

Apparently, Waldron and Owen Wilson were talking one day and Waldron got asked to do Dr. Strange 2 because it was just as chaotic as Loki was.

WALDRON: Yeah. By that time, I had been able to build the trust. We'd written Loki. Loki was in good shape at that point. It was headed into production. I was getting ready to go to Atlanta. Fortunately, the scripts were in good shape. One of our writers, a close friend of mine, Eric Martin, took my place and went and was the writer on set, which you've got to have, and he did amazing work carrying the show across the finish line, from a writing standpoint. And yeah, it was just, "All right. You did Loki. That was crazy. Come do Dr. Strange. This is going to be crazy, too." That was really fun.

And guess what! This is the instructions he was given FOR Dr. Strange 2.

WALDRON: It is purely, 100%, "Make the most kick ass Dr. Strange movie you can possibly make." There was no, "You got to get here. It's got to fit here."

Which, by the way, Feige stated that he had no plans for the Loki series beyond time travel, and Waldron was instructed to do whatever he felt like. A 100% most kick-ass time travel series, you might say.

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Okay. So now that we have some background, I'm going to get onto my soapbox and explain why this man was a horrible, horrible directing choice and shows 0 understanding of the characters. This is going to go over Loki and Dr. Strange 2, for reference.

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LOKI:

The biggest disaster I see with Loki is that the FIRST -- and I emphasize this, the FIRST -- thing that Waldron says about Loki in the interview is this:

Waldron: And I'd written a time travel movie about a character who was kind of a villain, and kind of a sh*thead, like Loki.

I think that the problem that Waldron suffered from the most in Loki is that Waldron didn't want to make a TV series about Loki. He doesn't like the character very much from what I can tell. Obviously, he calls him a sh*thead, but he never has anything nice to say about Loki as a whole either. He doesn't want to talk about Loki as a person, or Loki's story, Waldron wants to talk about the TVA. I seriously cannot emphasize this enough. Not once in the interview did Loki as a person come up. Loki didn't even seem to be a character to him.

The TVA is where Waldron seems like most of his time was spent, because that was, after all, what MCU wanted to do. I honestly, genuinely do not believe this man would have taken the job for Loki if it wasn't about time travel. Because Waldron could focus on the TVA and not Loki. Loki was an irritant he had to occasionally do something with.

And now we get to his script that was pitched to MCU.

Waldron: I sat down and I wrote a script that was a time travel action rom-com, is how I would describe it...because they [Marvel] wanted to make a time travel show. And I'd written a time travel movie about a character who was kind of a villain, and kind of a shithead, like Loki.

And the thing is, to me, sounds a lot like the TV series. A romcom, with time travel, and a sh*thead kind-of villain. That's the series we got. I do wonder how much of this pitch made it into the final series, because this is what Waldron had as a reference. (The director wanted to make a romance from what I understand, that was her vision of the series was this long-winding romance, and it doesn't look like anyone sat down in the writer's room and explained to them that the last thing that would fuel Loki's story forward was romance.)

And the thing is, Waldron doesn't seem to understand Loki as a character at all, if Loki is "kind of a villain and a sh*thead" because yeah, sure, Loki can be considered that, but that's not WHO Loki is. That's what people SEE him as.

Waldron at no point references having read the scripts for the Avengers, Thor 1 or the Dark World inside this interview. This doesn't mean he hasn't seen the movies or read the screenplay, as I often hear said about him, but it is strange to me that he makes so little mention of Loki.

This man is so focused on the TVA. Despite how much of a disaster the TVA ended up being. Here's some notable quotes:

WALDRON: What did I learn? Don't write one about time travel, because it's a pain in the ass.

WALDRON: ...A foundation of what constitutes a broken time law and what doesn't, so that we could then just, which is about Loki breaking a time law, and then you have to move all that stuff as far to the background as humanly possible, because you don't want the audience focusing on the rules of time travel during your show.

I love how "Loki breaking a time law" is supposed to be the center of it all and comes off as an afterthought.

And.

"don't want the audience focusing on the rules of time travel in your show" YEAH. CAUSE IT'S GARBAGE. Maybe if he and the others had had more than a weekend (exaggeration, untrue statement) to work on how time travel works, we'd have something that didn't make me want to scream into a pillow for ten years.

WALDRON:  All over our writer's room, our white boards were just covered in timelines. And it's just, "No, time travel works this way," "No, time travel works that way." That was the great challenge of our show, it was because the Time Variance Authority is an organization that literally manages and polices all of time, we had to define what time is to them and what time is in the MCU. 

I think we can blame this disaster on the Russo brothers. ^

WALDRON: Those are all questions we had to ask and define for ourselves. I think that what's fun about the TVA is it takes something remarkable, like time travel, and really packages it in a very soulless, sort of bureaucratic way. That's what was exciting to me, as a writer, was to take something so magical and just make it utterly soulless. -- So what we have is a writer's room so focused on the TVA that Loki becomes a secondary concern and the lens from which we VIEW the TVA, and then it stops becoming Loki's series and starts to become the TVA's.

But no one seemed to realize this.

And also "That's what was exciting to me...was to take something so magical and make it utterly soulless" is a GREAT way to go about time travel. I also think he applies this to everything and it shows.

So again. Writer focused on the TVA. Appears to me to not care about Loki. Spends a majority of the interview discussing ANYTHING but the main lead of his show. Does not want to talk about growth or character or WHERE LOKI CAME FROM? WHY ARE YOU NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR LEAD?

But that's okay. Because we all know that the TVA was the main character of Loki, don't we?

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Another interesting point, I thought, was how Waldron writes relationships. I watched a review of his TV series Heels, where the reviewer came to this conclusion about the main characters:

"...And that's just what made this show so fascinating, is that…all these characters, that in some way, treat each other horribly, but in other sense do care about each other, and they're all so entwined with trying to make this thing work."

and that sounded extremely familiar. Because this is the cast of Loki. Waldron seems to have discovered his Character Formula.

Thanks. I hate it.

I just...this man can't have been a bad writer in just Loki right, and this has to be a consistent theme across all his work? And honestly, he's worked on so little that I don't know. I can't have an honest opinion of him. From what he has worked on, terrible character chemistry seems to be the general vibe. Waldron does not seem to know how to write characters that you understand why they like each other.

Hence, Loki being abused by every figure of authority in Loki, and Slyive treating him horribly, but somehow they all like each other in the end.

Because that's Loki. The TVA series, Loki on the side, getting beat up. Because he's bad.

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DR. STRANGE 2:

Dr. Strange 2 has a similar set of problems. It was written in a rushed time frame, there was no overarching idea for a plot and where the story needed to go, Waldron was just told to do what he wanted, and Waldron didn't seem to be too focused on character arcs.

Wanda, obviously, takes a devastating hit as far as arcs go, but I wouldn't say that Dr. Strange was spared, either. The two of them go through rapid flipflopping in terms of the growth they've incurred throughout the entire MCU, and it shows. Badly.

One thing that Waldron did say that absolutely baffled me was this:

WALDRON: I became good friends with Jac Schaeffer, head writer of WandaVision, while I was writing Loki. Her and I became good pals, because we were kind of in it together and everything...So, I had the benefit of just being able to call Jac and talk to her about Wanda's character and everything, because it was really important to me that I do right by her with what she did with Wanda as a character. And also, with Lizzie, who's a friend of mine. I really worked with her and made sure, "Okay, you guys just did this incredibly intimate show about this character that grew her so much. Let's make sure that we're doing that justice and telling a fulfilling next chapter of that story."

I am so confused. Waldron honestly appears to want to do right by Wanda, but Wanda's growth from WandaVision was destroyed in Dr Strange 2 (and I want to emphasize here that Waldron made no such comment about talking to Tom Hid. or previous directors of Thor movies) so then how did Wanda end up going through such a downward spiral? Waldron wanted to do right by her, and yet???

I think the biggest problem is that Waldron doesn't have to think long term. He's almost not supposed to. He said this:

WALDRON: Well, I think one of the joys of being a writer in the Marvel world is getting to make terrible messes and leave them for your predecessors

WALDRON: For instance, you write the Loki show and then you end up writing Dr. Strange 2, having to clean up your own mess and that can be a lot of fun.

WALDRON: And it will naturally connect to the MCU and it will naturally get the MCU to where it's supposed to go, in some ways that we expect and ways that sometimes you don't expect, and I think that's part of the fun.

Waldron was given the explicit instruction to write a good Dr. Strange movie, but not a good MCU movie. Part of the reason that Phase 4 feels like a bunch of puzzle pieces from different puzzles is that it was designed to be that way. Feige is just going with the flow to see what will happen rather than having any sort of idea of where to take the series.

"It will naturally get MCU to where it's supposed to go" is one of the most hilarious statements I've ever heard, by the way. As someone who has done original writing, and planned out a series, my 200+ page document of planning, background, and worldbuilding laughs at you. (And I still don't have it all finished, because I've had MONTHS to work on this). Maybe. Maybe they want to try and not publish the first draft of phase 4?

Waldron wasn't told to make a movie about Wanda, or how to progress Wanda's character in a way that made sense post her growth. And any problems that were there they blamed on the Darkhold, because it's someone else's problem to clean up. Very neat. Very good planning.

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So overall, I don't think that MCU writers are proud of their ignorance, I just don't think that they see a problem with it. Writers are told to do what they want to, without there being any plans for character growth or plot advancement, so they do. They put whatever they want out on the sandbox and wait for someone else to clean it up.

Feige seems fully onboard with this plan. So the real problem, I think, is the fact that MCU is expecting writers to come up with complex, interconnected plots in twenty weeks, and the writer's don't have the time to write consistent character arcs, they just tell a flashy story because at least you get something out there.

I honestly don't imagine Secret Wars will be any different. Waldron has shown that he really really enjoys writing stories, but not characters. This is not to say that we should blame all of this on Waldron, because I don't think it's really his fault. I think it's more the fact that he's the byproduct of a system set to fail.

The writer's ignorance is someone else's problem in MCU, apparently. But don't worry. This will naturally get MCU where it's supposed to go. Just tilt your head and squint a little. Then close one eye. And then the other. Now you can see what brilliance Phase 4 is clearly.

[yakkety-yak-art]

Saw the ghost movie that I was really excited about. Was disappointing. Ultimately it was just really…okay or downright bad in the parts that weren’t concert footage. More specific comments below the cut because spoilers, I guess, but there’s really nothing that happens in this movie that matters enough to count as a spoiler.

First, if this had just been concert footage, it would have been much more enjoyable. The movie parts were not at all interesting and each cutaway made it drag on and on. I hadn’t slept well the night before the showing, so the movie itself wasn’t the reason I was dozing off at some parts…but it also wasn’t helping keep me AWAKE outside of the concert footage. No complaints about that footage (mostly, but I’ll get back to it later).

Story: whoops, Tobias Forge can’t write! Sorry, that’s a bit mean, but…I paid money to watch this, so I’ll be a little bit mean. Seriously, this thing needed at least a couple more passes with the script. Every. single. conversation. as repeating what was already brought up in the OPENING voiceover: Cardi doesn’t wanna die, doesn’t wanna stop fronting for Ghost, but everything ends eventually. Yes, we GET IT. We do not need several scenes of Cardi with his parents saying it over and over again with no additional information added to understand that. After the opening VO, we could’ve just had one scene of Cardi looking a bit forlornly at himself in the mirror, and then Sister Imperator happily telling him that “things are going to be changing in the clergy soon!” or something like that and he looks unhappy.

That’s what I thought we were getting at first, but then it just. Kept happening??? Like oh my god Tobias, I get it, Cardi doesn’t want this to end, I KNOW. The quality of the writing suggests that Tobias is one of three things: incompetent at writing anything longer than a short (maybe, but the other two are a bit more likely), had no real story to tell and this could’ve been one of the shorts so he had to pad it out to an insufferable length (definitely), or so full of himself that he thought “eh, I don’t actually have anything to say, but this way I’ll get to be on screen the whole time and the only writer credited,” (probable). It’s just so offensive considering I know there were so many resources available to make this GOOD: more time, writing assistance or hiring a real writer, etc. and yet they were not taken advantage of. If this was something just put up on YouTube I really couldn't care less about the quality, but if you're charging money for this AND are as big as Ghost is, you can't expect to slide by with mediocrity. Except he will, because apparently everyone else loved this thing. Okay. Also, the humor overall just fell super flat. There were several moments where I was like, "wait, was that a joke? was I meant to laugh there?" because they were just nothing. Also, there was a fart joke. Okay.

Acting: sorry, I’m going to be mean again. The acting in the movie parts was very. Hit or miss is what I’m gonna call it. The voice acting in the voiceovers at the beginning and the end were oddly rushed in several places? They weren’t placing words in very natural ways and it just felt like they needed to do another take for some of the lines. It’s especially noticeable in the beginning voiceover because in most of it he’s speaking at a slower pace and it’s perfect and sounds great, but then he just…speeds up sometimes? And it doesn’t feel intentional and isn’t in places that make it feel like it makes sense to speed up for dramatic effect. In Sister Imp’s voiceover at the end, she is also just speeding through it and it’s incredibly awkward, because in a lot of places it’s noticeably faster than she’s speaking in her other scenes. Like, guys, you know you can shoot more footage right??? You can put some b roll in??? You don’t have to squeeze the whole speech into the shorter shot you have if it’s going to compromise the actor’s delivery.

Tobias' acting was passable for the whole thing, though that might be partially because he's not acting with his face as much as the others, so it's less noticeable when something isn't quite working. Sister Imp did a fine job for the most part, excluding her VO and some awkwardness (and no, not intentional awkwardness) in a couple scenes with Papa Nihil. Papa was also fine; nothing to write home about but nothing terrible stood out to me. Most of the issues probably came from the special effects on him to make him ghostly, which I'm presuming involved him being on a green screen or something (I have no clue. Idk anything about making effects lmao.) I'm NOT going to really review the acting of the stagehands because that's not their main job and they already had a lot of work to do, but it wasn't so bad as to take anything away from the scenes they're in. Basically, the acting overall was okay, but not great, and it adds to how much the scenes drag on for sure.

Tiny section about the animated Mary On A Cross segment: I'm not gonna comment on the bad animation, because it's on purpose and emulating old Hanna-Barbera cartoons. My issue is that it makes zero sense and goes nowhere. Nihil chases Sister Imp around for a while looking forlorn and sad and desperate, and she runs away/beats him up while looking pissed off until they come across a graveyard and she pulls him into a kiss. Then it cuts to Nihil naked in a hotel room in the morning while she storms off angrily....okay? And? What changed her mind? Why is she still angry in the morning? Why does this matter at all? Knowing that Papa IV was the product of a one night stand is a footnote if this is all we get from it. Just weird, and didn't fit the song IMO.

Editing: super frantic and distracting in places, particularly the fast cuts in the concert footage. It's just a lot and can be disorienting. Nothing is really allowed to sit on screen for very long (which is related to another point...) but at the same time, some of the movie shots just linger for no reason. They're just awkward and clunky and repetitive. Some people disliked the crowd shots, but I thought they were fun and cute and used sparingly enough. Shout out to the dude in the nun costume!

Weird lack of concert footage: what they chose to keep and what to cut was just confusing. Most of the footage was just Tobias singing, short shots of the Ghouls rocking out, and crowd footage. Almost none of the Ghoul antics that they're known for, unless Tobias was also in shot and involved. Whenever he went backstage and a Ghoul took the spotlight (I'm sorry, I can never remember who is who, but it was usually White Guitar Ghoul if I recall correctly), it cut to a story moment which, again, were boring, repetitive, and told us nothing. It just felt disrespectful to cut out so much of the Ghouls and their performances, especially because the crowd and the fans love them a lot. They add so much to Ghost's live shows and, in my opinion, are more important to Ghost than Tobias. I don't care if that's a "controversial" Ghost opinion to have, but it really is true. I think anyone could be any of the Papas. But the Ghouls, even when they get changed out, are always so talented, so energetic, so passionate, and make Ghost what it is in a live setting. They were also missing from all but one movie scene, where one of them asks if they're doing an encore, and for a second I thought the line had been spoken by one of the stagehands. That's it.

(Okay, there's also there in the scene where Sister Imp dies, but they're just standing there.)

I can't speak for if the Ghouls themselves felt a bit sidelined or disrespected by this. I can't say for certain if they even wanted a bigger presence outside of the concert footage. But I can definitely say that, from a fan perspective, the lack of the Ghouls compared to how OFTEN Tobias is on screen, backstage, doing NOTHING when we could be watching the Ghouls was GLARINGLY obvious. It felt weird and it felt uneven. I started getting really irritated by about the third time it cut backstage when I could be watching the Ghouls! It just led to the whole thing feeling super vain and self-important considering Tobias wrote the film to be this way. Some people have defended this by saying, "well, they're the Nameless Ghouls!" but that's bullshit. They're part of Ghost canon too, so why don't we get anything from them? We can't even see a little bit about how they might be feeling regarding a Clergy mix up? Whether they care about the current Papa, or anything like that? Involving them would feel so much more interesting than just another Papa, but this one wants to KEEP singing!! Again, maybe the Ghouls didn't want to be more involved...but it felt off.

I've never seen Ghost live, so I had no frame of reference for how much was cut from the concert footage aside from the lack of Ghoul antics, which is what they're known for, but apparently several people who were at the concerts filmed for this noticed a ton of footage that was cut (again, mostly Ghouls) that they thought would have been more fun to see compared to so many backstage shots. And yet we got the sequence of him in a boxing outfit, walking through the crowd, which ended with...nothing? He just...does that? Waste of time. (AND YES, I KNOW that it is a reference. That doesn't make it good. It didn't need to be there. Replace it with something relevant.) It just exemplifies how much time is wasted in this movie.

Special effects: oh my god did anyone even look at this movie before sending it out Jesus Christ. The special effects are so bad I was genuinely shocked. When Papa IV and Papa Nihil are talking while IV is in a box (for some reason?? I actually don't know why) Nihil is weirdly sized and not lined up properly. It was odd. The greenscreen was so godawful I was honestly amazed. It's YouTuber comedy sketch levels of greenscreen quality. What the fuck? Especially compared to the amazing performance and how much work is put into their live shows, the horrid effects stood out starkly. Another comment on Nihil: his face is hard to see in some scenes. His ghostly effects make his features kind of blur together sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't, so it clearly wasn't intentional. Just another odd thing. The effect of him getting sucked into his body for his sax performance was very, very bad. I know you had the option to put more time and/or money into the effects, Tobias. Why did you not. What is your problem. Why the fuck would you put out a product of this quality for money and act like it's okay, especially considering the fact that this was marketed as a lore-heavy MOVIE and not just a concert film? If this was a smaller production I would not rag on the effects, but I know for a fact that Tobias has the resources for this to be better, and he chose to not use them. Honestly, it feels disrespectful.

That's the crux of my issues with this movie, really. It was teased as a real movie with real lore and serious effects on the canon of Ghost, and it was none of those things. The lore amounted to Sister Imp dying, which means nothing, because ghosts, and Cardi becoming Frater Imperator at the very end and then the movie ending. It's NOTHING. There's also an end credit scene apparently, which I did not stay to view, because I didn't care and I had been sitting for long enough. Basically, there are ghosts (including Sister Imp, obvi) and then another cliffhanger about meeting the new Papa, and an implication that Cardi has a twin who might be the new Papa. People are freaking out about this possibility. I have no idea why. It really doesn't seem like a big deal at this point when all the Papas have a crazy family situation. A secret twin doesn't even feel like a twist, and it's certainly not enough to count as an addition to the lore when it hasn't even been confirmed. At the risk of sounding rude, fellow Ghost fans, raise your standards. You deserve better.

And that's the crux of my issues with this whole thing. It's mediocre, it's boring, it's absolutely nothing outside of some fun concert footage, and yet it was billed as a must-see film and cost real, actual money to view. If they had been honest about it being a concert movie, I'd have been fine with that! I think they're fun, especially for those of us who can't go to live shows. But we were told it would be more than that, and it wasn't. It feels disrespectful, like Tobias knew he could just put out some slop and people would be okay with it, and it feels even worse because in a way, he was right. Tons of Ghost fans loved this movie, but the more positive reviews I see, the clearer it becomes that they just loved the chance to see the concerts, and love Ghost. Loving Ghost didn't make me love this movie. It just made me disappointed and sad. We could have gotten a great film, but we got something that was low effort because it's obvious that you can take advantage of the fans of something by throwing them crumbs and dressing it up to seem nicer than it is.

I appreciate that individual people on this production put tons of effort into this; the crew, the actors (excluding Tobias) who were clearly doing their best with what they had, and yes, I'm sure even the effects people did what they could with what they had. But all of the parts that were clearly Tobias' call were not high enough quality to be in a movie.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hello Finn! You said you'd give advice for fanfiction, I think and I'm a bit desperate so I hope you can help me!

A follower asked me to write about Tav killing herself to be free from ascended Astarion and I have a lot of trouble with writing his reaction because I really don't know how he'd react to that???? It's stressig me out so much pls help me

Hello there, petal!

I think this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a while, I'm so sorry. I haven't been on top of it lately. (But I'm getting to it, I swear! I know a few people are still asking why I hate Astarions reaction to Tav's romp with Mizora and I'll definitely get to that, do not fret!)

But anyway, let's see how I can help, shall we? I did a bit of research and watched a ton of ascended Astarion content so that I could actually give you proper advice and ohhh boy, when I tell you that I've had clients like him before...blegh. But, as always, do take it with a grain of salt because I'm no expert. Just a social worker with a lot of time to watch vampire videos, apparently, haha.

So, to recap: Your Tav committs suicide in order to escape from ascended Astarions grasp. And I guess he only finds out after, seeing as you need his reaction, yes?

I can see why that would be stressful, but it's probably less because you really don't know how he'd react and more because there's a disconnect between the reaction he'd actually have and the reaction we all want.

As both a writer and a reader I'm not ashamed to admit that I'd want him to suffer. I'd want him to realise all his faults and where he went wrong and I'd want him to cry because he fucked it all up, so much so that he's now lost the one person that loved him despite everything he has done.

But with ascended Astarion, I don't think a reaction like that would be very likely. True vampires are a bit difficult when it comes to things like guilt and shame and loss, as in they don't really seem to take it the way normal people would.

Or, rather: They can't react to them the same way normal people would.

Where a normal person would go through an entire circle of mourning, a true vampire is probably going to throw a tantrum and create a demiplane that he can sulk in. (Looking at you, Strahd.)

Instead of sadness, It's very likely that he'd react with anger. A LOT of anger. The anger likely won't be self-directed - at most a little annoyance because he didn't lock them up harder and more securely - but it will most definitely be directed at Tav.

I don't think I need to explain that while ascended Astarion does not really love Tav anymore he does want them.

Tav is his. Their entire being belongs to just him. Only he get's to decide when and if they're allowed to die. They're his to destroy and his alone. So how dare they kill themself without his permission? How dare they take away what's rightfully his!?

And just as anger replaces sadness, it's very likely that blame overshadows guilt and shame. So he doesn't feel shame over how he treated Tav. He doesn't feel guilt over how he drove them to suicide. No, instead he blames Tav for their decision because they're spoiled and unthankful.

He is not the problem, they are. He gave them everything. Everything one could ever want, they had. He game them power. He gave them wealth. A palace. A life filled with all sorts of pleasure, right by his side. He granted them eternal fucking life. What more could they want? What more could anyone want? He did everything for them, and they threw it right back at him like a spoiled little brat. He should've been sterner, should've kept them on a tighter leash. Should have showed them his bad side so that they'd learn what staying on his good side meant.

The only thing he'd probably actually feel is loss, but once again... it'd be different. It's probably less the gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness that suddenly haunts you when you remember that you won't ever get to speak to someone again because they're no longer here and more the upset of loosing a beloved item. So more of a 'fucking hell that was my favourite fucking thing and now it's gone'. There'd probably be some despair in there because he can't simply replace Tav but that despair is, once again, likely tied to his possessiveness and not to true loss. He'd be desperate because he wants them - he wants them - but not because he's just lost the one he loves.

That's probably the reaction I'd expect of ascended Astarion and, as you can tell: It's not what one would expect of a fanfiction, yes? We'd expect the heartbreak and the sorrow, the guilt and the tears because we love Astarion and Astarion is supposed to love Tav. We want him to love Tav. And those who like him ascended want him to love Tav even as his ascended self.

Now, does that mean the reaction I described wouldn't make a good stroy? Absolutely not! In fact, I do believe it would be a nice switch up in between the very heavily romanticised ascended-fics because it adds that shot of realism. (As much realism as a high-elf-vampire can have, at least.)

So, what I'm trying to say is: Don't worry too much about what is "correct" and what isn't and instead focus on what you want to achieve. If you want to hit your readers with the sad truth of ascended Astarion, maybe go for the approach I described. And if you want to be a bit softer and more romantic, have the boy cry tears of woe.

Or you could go totally crazy and do both things - have someone watch him and describe how they see it - the points I just mentioned - but once you describe what's happening inside him, go full on romance novel and break our hearts!

Find your own path, petal, I'm sure it will be a lovely read either way!

[queenofbaws]

hi queenie i find myself humbly at your doorstep again (if there was a bowing emoji i would put it here) so question! do you outline your stories? and if so, how? another writer i admire was nice enough to lay out a "tutorial" of sorts but i have so much trouble with the small stuff. like i have so many Big Moments planned and tiny tiny moments planned but the medium moments? do you have any idea on how to plan the medium moments???? i'm going crazy! 😩

(as always, your answer is appreciated and cherished)

why hellooooooo quill!!! what a treat to find you on my doorstep! please know it is i who is bowing and scraping - it's always a delight to be visited by THE hawke/varric queen! ;)c

extremely long story short: i do outline my stories! i live in constant awe of people who can write by the seat of their pants. alas, like the humble ant, i am always digging out pathways to follow later...usually the pathways are intricate. maze-like. bottomless. 😫 hehehe but i know E X A C T L Y what you mean, finding ways to connect everything can be...so much, especially when all you really want to do is get to those big, juicy moments, AHHH!

i'll throw my general process under the cut, and i hope it'll help in some way/shape/form!!! 💖

OH FUCK, I THINK I HAVE A FIC IDEA an outlining process by theicyqueen

hehehe okay, so as always, this is my general process, and what works for me might not work for others, so by all means take EVERY LAST THING I SAY with a boulder-sized grain of salt ;P

for the most part, my outlining process for oneshots and multichaps is roughly the same: (1) i get a central idea i want to expand on, (2) i write that fucker down in as much detail as possible, (3) i sit squinting at it like that kate beaton comic with edgar allan poe for a week or two waiting for a divine vision to hit, (4) profit. in all seriousness, though, this is typically my order of operations:

get the main idea down: this could be an overarching idea for a story (e.g., hawke and varric attend a fancy party and a murder mystery occurs) OR a big, juicy influential scene (e.g., incensed at hubert being an asshole, varric hurls a pillow at him and uncovers a secret door hidden in the wall!)

think about where you want to go from there: do you want this to be a oneshot? a multichap? how much MORE do you want to add to that main idea, essentially, or how far do you think you can stretch it?

get the biggest scenes down first: you know the ones. the ones you REALLY want to get to. write them down NOW. just trust me on this. WRITE THEM DOWN RIGHT NOW I STG!!!

if there are little scenes in your head, get those down too: don't worry about getting them down IN ORDER, just get them down! you think you'll remember them later: you will not. i love you. you will not remember them later. you're so smart. you will not. remember. them later. this is the writer's curse.

put those scenes into some sort of skeleton: here's where you start thinking about the order you want scenes in. where do you want those big, juicy things? where will your smaller moments fit in between them? what KEY POINTS need to occur before juicy scene b so it makes sense to the reader? what KEY POINTS will have to come AFTER juicy scene b to make sense? if you don't quite know where to put something yet, keep it separated, either in a separate doc, or just off to the side; don't touch it again until you have an idea of where it should go chronologically

look at what you have so far: sometimes, if you're lucky, the way to connect these pieces together will become apparent once you see what you already have laid out in one place. life is beautiful when this happens, but it doesn't always, so don't beat yourself up if you just CAN'T figure out how to get from point a to point h - let it sit. let it simmer. let it STEW. maybe eat some stew. it can't hurt.

consider the evil bits >:)c : what this means FOR ME is usually foreshadowing. is there some big twist you want to drop breadcrumbs for throughout the rest of the story? think about what that might look like! if you decide, for example, that you want to reveal a character was evil the whole time by the end of the story, think about what little nugget of foreshadowing you could insert sneakily into the beginning - a lot of the time tiny, almost insignificant details like this can help trigger bigger scenes in your head, "connecty" scenes, if you will. other examples of "evil bits," might be winks to canon material, easter eggs referring to other works of yours (or a friend's!), wordbuilding info that doesn't fit anywhere else, or not-so-subtle inclusions of your own headcanons that you have no earthly reason to include other than to make yourself smile (for example, in the project i'm working on right now, i'm making it a point to have travis hackett smell a girl's hair against her will! this is not a necessary detail by any means, but god help me my characterization of that freak will be known 🙃). it sounds fake, but seriously, sometimes the tiniest details can help you connect things later. the human brain is inscrutable.

determine whether you NEED to fill every gap: if you can't think of a way connect two scenes no matter how hard you try, it's ENTIRELY possible that they just don't need to be connected. at all. the reader doesn't always need to see characters move from one classroom to another, and we don't always need to see their skincare routine before they go to bed. those might be important scenes to include for what you're writing, don't get me wrong, but if they're not??? just...just skip 'em. DON'T connect the scene before and the scene after. if you're writing a oneshot, ask yourself: could i put a line break in here and just keep going? and if you're writing a multichap, the question is similar: can i just end the chapter here and pick up with the next one? sometimes you just don't NEED a medium-sized scene at all. just skip it!!!!!

talk to a friend who has no idea what any of this means: i'm. i'm so serious. if you're writing fandom stuff, please ask a friend with little to no knowledge of that fandom if you can talk at them about your story for a minute. if you're writing something original, please ask literally any friend at all if you can talk at them about your story for a minute. you will be. shocked. the words that come out of your mouth once you start doing this. shocked. sometimes there's stuff up in your brain you didn't even know was up there. i can't recommend it highly enough asldkjflakdjf

when in doubt, consider a humble "blanket paragraph:" i feel like...i feel like a lot of us...who got into creative writing...and who took creative writing classes...came to hate the simple blanket statement. but we shouldn't. we should love it. sometimes you don't need a scene at all - sometimes all you need is, "and then they ate dinner and watched some movies before bed." that's it. that can be your link. it can. i promise. i promise.

i really, truly hope that helps you in some way! or, if nothing else, kickstarts something in your own way of planning 💜

what a hobby we chose, huh? what a hobby. :P

[raina-at]

Year in fic review 2023

Total number of completed stories: 4, I finished Spare Parts in 2022, just finished posting in 2023.

Total word count: About 50 k (published, god knows how many words of unfinished WIPS and abandoned one-shots)

Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock, I'm a one-trick pony these days ;-)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Hm, I suppose less? And not the things I expected. I started writing a lot of long, plotty fics but apparently, it wasn't the year for long and plotty fics. I suppose I didn't have the brain space for long and plotty.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, because I had this idea months and months ago, of John having a bit of a crisis before his wedding. I had this one piece of a core of a fic, the whole nucleus where John tells Sherlock nobody ever sticks with him, ever. And then I had three different fragments of fics trying to make it work, and every one had something amazing in it, but I just couldn't make it gel. And then I thought of the famous The thing you wanted to say, say it now, and the scene on the bench in TSOT, and bam, I had a fic. It came out in stops and starts of 200-word chunks, while John laboured with whether and how and when to trust enough, to have faith enough to actually say how he feels. I'm really proud of how it came out in the end, and I'm very happy you guys responded to it the way you did.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I don't know about risks, but I wrote 31 ficlets in pretty much a month, which came out to 26000 words, and that was no mean feat. And I actually still like most of them. Gave me a bit of writers' burn-out, I won't lie, but what a ride!

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

I want to finish my Christmas fic. I would like to re-visit the Nothing Gold boys because I think there's meat on these bones and I always wanted to do a series of shorter fics that hang together. So maybe I can do something with that. But last year was so stressful at work and I don't see this year going any better (we have three big conferences this summer, so it's probably going to be So Much Worse). So, I'll be grateful for what I can accomplish, and accept that it might not be everything I want.

Most popular story of the year?

Nothing Gold Can Stay for sure.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Hm, I got a lot of lovely feedback this year, so I generally feel loved and appreciated by fandom. My May ficlets especially got a lot of responses here on tumblr, and I loved that dynamic interchange between writing and reading and commeting, especially with the others who did the challenge.

If I had to pick one underappreciated story, my Spare Parts 'verse January 29th fic The Stars Walk Backward didn't get a lot of eyeballs, but it's understandable given that it's a one-shot in a 'verse that not that many people are famliar with in the first place. It's a bit of a stepchild of a 'verse, but I love it, and I love this story for its unabashed sentimentality. It's very sweet and very calm and has a lot of 'we're back together and I don't want to fuck this up again' energy. I love re-visiting this fic if I need a quick pick-me-up, so. You know.

Most fun story to write:

Most of the ficlets were fun to write, and Tipping Point was somehow the opposite of Nothing Gold Can Stay in that it came out in a big rush over four days, like a writing tsunami. But my Christmas fic is also super fun to write, I just hope I can sustain the fun and actually finish it.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, I suppose. Grief is really complicated, and it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you can sort of stumble into pockets of it, and that you sometimes grieve things that are technically still there but have changed a lot. Essentially, the story is about a John who has to stop running away from his grief and turn around and face it, and a Sherlock who sees that if he wants to truly get John back, he has to face it with him.

Biggest disappointment:

With myself for being unable to finish the many, many, many fics I've stared but didn't remotely finish. But also gracious to myself for letting life happen.

Biggest surprise:

Not surprise but gratitude for the love and support of this fandom. You guys are awesome. I'm so grateful whenever someone tells me that something I wrote made them Feel Something(TM). It's the greatest compliment a writer can receive, and I feel truly blessed that I heard this a fair bit this year. I write because it makes me happy, and if people reading my fics experience something similar, then that makes me even happier. So thank you, fandom.

[that-ari-blogger]

Genuinely Impressive (Light Spinner)

The term "humanise" refers to a kind of anthropomorphising. To humanise is to give a thing human qualities like speech or pseudo-complex thought. For example, the transformers are humanised vehicles.

In a weird way, this is how humanisation in literature works. It is the practice of taking a fictional character, thing that is very much not a real human being, and giving them the complexity befitting a human.

Unfortunately, there is a pitfall to this practice. When writers try to humanise their characters, there is a tendency for these writers to accidentally redeem their characters in the process.

Disney's Maleficent and Cruella had a problem with this. While the later got retconned from megalomaniacal to empathetic, diminishing her villainy in the process, the former got turned into a full blown hero, a decision that I... actually liked.

She Ra and The Princesses of Power, however, truly excels at humanisation, and nowhere is this more apparent than in Light Spinner.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She Ra and the Princesses Of Power)

I want to prefix all of this with the fact that humanisation to any degree is a really difficult writing skill. The idea is to engineer understanding, instead of empathy, and that is a deceptively hard balance to strike.

Making a character empathetic is easy, but it's a different skill entirely to know how much of that to do, and when.

In short, artists deserve credit for the tiny acts of brilliance just as much as for their feats of awe inspiring grandeur.

One thing that I noticed about this episode is that, to me at least, Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver are different people. Obviously they are the same individual, and there is some clear overlap between the two, but they feel like two different characters. As in, there are certain things that Light Spinner says that Shadow Weaver would never say, and vice versa.

This boils down to the idea of a character's centre. I have mentioned this before, but every character has a single element that is immutable about themselves, the thing that makes them who they are. If you would be to slowly change everything about this character, but leave this one element, they would still be the original person.

I think the difference between Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver is this centre. Shadow Weaver is cruel, and selfish, but Light Spinner strikes me as more ambitious and calculating. Obviously, there are shades of all of these in both characters, but these are the elements that are the most important to each person.

There is actually a moment in the episode where the characters switch, where Light Spinner is killed and Shadow Weaver remains, and that is in the ritual room. But to understand that, you need to understand the events leading up to it.

So, who is Light Spinner, and what elements of that are carried over into Shadow Weaver? Well, Light Spinner is ambitious, reckless, righteous, and... kind? I don't think kind is the right word, but maternal feels like a bridge too far.

Motivations are complex. Often, actions are performed for a multitude of reasons. My main reason for writing this blog, for example, is because I love She-Ra and stories like it. But I am also doing this because I need an outlet for creativity, and because I want to develop my own understanding of the writing craft. Complexity.

Light Spinner's dynamic with Micah is one of teacher and student, but there is obviously some affection there. Light Hope is amused by his antics, and pushes him to do better because she knows he can. She fuels his passion and it is clear he has a trust for her and feels safe in her presence.

However, there is also some of that ambition there. Light Spinner is written in this episode as a limit pusher who wants to do more and gain more power. It's heavily implied in this episode that she is using Micah for her own ends.

"You have incredible power. And I'm the one who will mould that power."

So, we can add megalomania to Light Spinner's list of attributes as well.

On a side note, the oracle spell things have some of the best camera placement and shot composition in the entire series. So whomever is in charge of that in universe is the most skilled cinematographer on the planet.

I want to point out Light Spinner's motivation here. She wants to protect Etheria from the Horde. This is partly why I think she and Shadow Weaver are so different, because Light Spinner would never switch sides like she does, because she wants to save the world.

"Norwyn and those fools don't care about magic, they just want to hold the rest of us back."

Forgive me, but that wasn't the point of the spell. That wasn't a discussion about magic, it was a discussion about people's lives. Light Spinner has taken the complete opposite memo as everybody else.

This is where the megalomania fits in. Because Light Spinner wants to be in command, she wants to be a hero, and she wants control, as well as saving Etheria. The shift in character comes when that ambition supersedes her more benevolent motivations.

Can we please take a moment to acknowledge how incredible this shot is. Light Hope is framed against the oracle spell, backlit and viewed from below like she's a ruler speaking from on high. The circle around her head mirrors the halo around the heads of saints found in stained glass windows. Light Hope views herself as a messiah figure.

But look at what that halo is showing. Light Hope is divinely surrounded by death and destruction, and the loss of the black garnet. Even now, Light Hope's greatest weapon is her radius of fear.

I also think props need to be given to this shot, with all of its complete lack of subtlety. Light Hope seeks power, and she seeks the spell as an means of achieving that, so the spell covers her eyes, blinding her to reality.

"We need this power. It's the only way to protect our people."

Here's a question: Is this the only way? Light Spinner certainly tells us that, but we haven't seen any other ideas. The guild was meeting to decide what to do, and Light Spinner interrupted it, then stormed out. So maybe they decided on something better and safer.

She-Ra has another "it's the only way" decision, later on in the series, that being the planet destroyer that the first ones set up. Shadow Weaver jumps on that idea as well, but its notable that in both cases, there actually is another way to defeat the horde, and it didn't compromise the morals or physical wellbeing of its participants.

The golden rule in storytelling is "Show, don't tell", and this is a case for why I disagree with it. Showing an audience something makes them believe it, telling them something makes them skeptical. If you keep telling an audience something, but never actually show it, you can end up with a distrust for the narrator, and that is used very intentionally here.

Light Spinner tells the audience over and over again how good this will be, but we never see that good. We actually see the opposite.

Consider this: The Horde, over the next however many years, makes very little ground, and that is mostly due to Shadow Weaver's assistance. So maybe if she did the princesses, or if she hadn't absolutely shredded the mages of Mystacor, things could have gone better.

Which leads into the final domino that is set up for Light Spinner to change. Trust.

The mages of Mystacor do not trust Light Spinner's judgement, which leads to her believing her actions are futile for getting the admiration and respect that she "deserves".

Enter the Spell of Obtainment. And as a general rule, if you are in a fantasy story and you start conjuring something with too many arms and eyes, you are probably doing something wrong.

Also, this guy is dead, ponked into non-existence. A man dies, on camera, in a children's cartoon.

It is important to understand that this is a memory, and so the narrator is unreliable. From that perspective, Light Spinner was betrayed by Micah, and by the guild masters, and it got her killed.

But let's also look at what the spell would have done. Light Spinner insists that it would win the war, but doesn't reveal its actual capabilities. I think, judging from what the failure did, it would have focused power in on a single individual or two.

I think Light Spinner's idea of the ultimate spell was one that bolstered her abilities and made her into a super soldier.

So, Light Spinner died because of her megalomania and ambition. She wanted to be the one to save the world, and it cost her. People backed away because she pushed them too far, and she can't see that.

The person that emerges from the cosmic horror bubble is Shadow Weaver, and the first thing she does is kill someone, then bail and switch sides. The power is now more important to her than what she wanted to use it for.

The final scene of the flashback is the adoption of Adora, and it does a few things. First up, Adora gets thrown into Shadow Weaver's care against the latter's will, and one of Shadow Weaver's first lines in the entire series is this:

"I saw talent in you the moment I found you as an orphan child and took you in."

So... that was a lie, wasn't it?

But the scene also shows a hint of Light Spinner peeking through, because I think there is something maternal there, and it is entirely separate from kindness.

One of the theses of She-Ra is that there is a bit of good, however small, in everyone. And the point of this episode is that Shadow Weaver once had it, and may still have it, but has made the choice to do evil. Villainy is very much a decision in this world, you don't get born into one side, you make your own choice.

That's something that keeps coming up, especially with Catra.

Speaking of whom, there is a reason I have separated Light Spinner from Shadow Weaver.

"You remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me either. I wasn't born to power like Adora and the others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?"

There is some narrative parallelism going on in this episode, but it is specifically not between Catra and Shadow Weaver, but Catra and Light Spinner.

Both characters are seeking respect, and find that taken out from under them, and both push their closest friends away. The stories are extremely similar, but there are two things to dispute about this idea.

First up, Shadow Weaver is doing some heavy projecting here. Once again, this is her memory, so the narration should be taken with a grain of sand. She was also trying to do something forbidden, while Catra is trying to follow orders to the best of her ability.

Second, Light Hope wasn't abused by the mages of Mystacor. Well, I guess she could have been, but it isn't even implied that this is the case, so do with that what you will.

I think Catra puts it best:

"I was a child when you took me in. What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?"

She-Ra as a whole does not shy away from discussion of the cycle of violence, and it is worth noting that Shadow Weaver perceives injustice directed at herself, and believes it is perfectly reasonable to take that out on a child. Yes, Hordak did probably use that anti-oxygen device on Shadow Weaver at some point, but she then made the decision to use that anger to bully a child.

Shadow Weaver's treatment of Catra in this episode is pure manipulation. There are hints of that maternal element, but they are being used to lull Catra into a false sense of security. She is falsely giving Catra affection to service her own needs. Notably, through the use of her touch, Shadow Weaver exhibits control over Catra's emotions.

AJ Michalka needs so much more credit than she has for her voice acting than she has received, especially in this episode. Catra's increasingly frantic pleas are so incredibly well realised, and the last scene of the empty jail cell is carried entirely by her acting.

This episode adds a ton of ambiguity to Shadow Weaver, as well as providing depth to her character. But it makes one thing abundantly clear:

As justified as you think your methods are, you are still responsible for the actions of cruelty that you chose to take.

Catra is close enough to Light Hope for the end result to be reasonably likely. Shadow Weaver is what Catra will become, if she does not stray from the path she currently walks.

That's why Catra's redemption arc is so compelling to me, because we know what is at stake. We know where that path leads.

Old. Bitter. Weak.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a technical masterpiece. The first rule of literary analysis is "don't compare a story to food or architecture", but I'm going to do that anyway.

The rest of She-Ra has a habit of prioritising the big spectacles and feats of brilliance. Each episode is a fully made cathedral with stained glass windows and a mosaic ceiling. This episode isn't that it's an incredibly well-designed fountain in a park, dedicated to an old friend. It is emotional and heart-felt, and mechanically superb.

Next week, I will be analysing Reunion, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[scoonsalicious]

you're such a wonderful writer and i hope you are doing great 💖

wanted to ask you, how do you write this type of topics that are hard and difficult? what did you feel while writing for chapter 23, 24 and 25?

i hope to know more about you as a writer and your methods because it has been mind blowing reading Unwanted

Thank you so, so much! I'm doing great! lol

So, I originally started writing an answer to this question that more specifically aligned with what you asked, but the more I thought about it, the more I kind of wanted to delve into what this story was supposed to be, what it turned into, and what it was like creating it. This is probably way more info then you every asked for or expected, so I apologize, but just rewatched Endgame in the name of research and I'm crying like a baby right now, and feeling pretty emotional, lol WARNING: This is going to get heavy. So, Unwanted was never actually supposed to turn into what it was. It started with this really simple image in my brain. Reader (not yet named) undercover, working at a strip club, and Bucky showing up to annoy her and get her flustered. She's unhappy to see him. Why? They used to sleep together, but she hates him now. What happened? In the original story, Bucky and Pocket never fell in love. They were best friends, and became FWB. A new Avenger is recruited (Jade was originally named Sage, and then Jewel, before we got to where we are), and Bucky goes on this Russian mission with her and sleeps with her. He comes back dating Sage and distances himself from Pocket, and she's heart broken, because she feels like she'd just been used, and now that Bucky had a new set of holes to fill (Pocket's words, lol), he didn't need her anymore. Then, she gets assigned to this mission in Atlantic City (that part-- the missing women, the trafficking, was always the plan), and uses it as a chance to get away from him.

But then something IRL happened that actually ended up changing the entire course of the entire fic. A little backstory: When I was a child, I was sexually abused by a neighbor/family friend for many years. I didn't have the language at the time to explain what happened to me, so I never told anyone. I changed, going from a really happy, outgoing kid, to being really withdrawn and anxious; it basically destroyed my soul. This, of course, was back in the early '80s, where CSA wasn't really discussed or understood the way it is now. The signs were there, but my parents didn't know they should have been looking for.

I thought I got over it. I thought I processed and dealt with it and moved beyond it, and I grew into adulthood. But in reality, I was just building a mask. But then, in February of this year, while I'd already been working on the fic for several months under the aforementioned plot, something happened: My young nephew started showing signs that he may have been abused, as well, by either his nanny or someone the nanny had exposed him to. My brother and sister-in-law recognized the changes in him immediately, and did everything right. This triggered me, and it was pretty apparent that I had never processed my trauma-- I'd just repressed it. And everything came rushing back. I suddenly had immense anger toward my parents for failing to protect me, for not seeing the signs, for forcing me to interact with my abuser for years and years. It was misguided, and I recognize that, but I never allowed myself to process the emotions at the time, and was kind of starting over from scratch.

So, Pocket, in a lot of ways, became me. I gave her extremes of what I experienced so she could help me work through things, to help me process everything I was feeling, that sense of abandonment, not being able to trust people, the inability to form real relationships because I don't know how to be vulnerable. And I gave her some of my characteristics: from about ages 15-25, I was addicted on and off to opiates, and in college, I started drinking excessively to numb my pain, to the point where I have liver and kidney damage from it. I gave Pocket my use of humor-as-a-coping mechanism, my penchant for swearing, and most importantly, I gave her my pain, my hurt, so that she and I could get better, together.

So, when I write Pocket's spiral in Chapters 23-25, I'm writing an exaggeration of every spiral I've ever had, because, I figure, if I can get Pocket through all of that, surely I can get myself through my own shit, right?

I'm sure it wasn't the answer you were quite looking for, but it's the best way I can explain how I, and Unwanted got here. And as for my nephew, fortunately, after a State Police and Child Protective Service investigation, it looks like he was never actually sexually abused; for that, at least, I'm grateful.

[callsigndragon]

Desperate times, desperate measures | Ch. 2: Till death do us part

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!writer!reader (Most of the times, she will be called Page)

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: mentions of death, angst, Jake and Page fight for the first time, and the wedding-

A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK I'M GETTING FROM Y'ALL. It's absolutely wonderful to see the amount of love i get from you guys, i love you all so much.

It's okay if you like it and all, but please... a comment is also welcomed and if you reblog it? I'll kiss you on the forehead.

Masterlist

When the lawyer leaves the room, you remember that there’s someone important that you haven’t called and who will be suffering as much as you when she knows that Anne is dead. 

But so many things happened yesterday that you completely forgot to call your other best friend. 

“Heeeeeeey, how’s my favorite writer doing?” Gabby says, and the background noises make you guess that she is at a Starbucks at the moment. 

“Gabrielle, can you go to a quieter place?” You tell her, sitting down and bracing yourself for what’s about to happen. 

“Holy shit, that serious? Okay, okay, let me go to my car.” It only takes her a few seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. “Okay, in the car already. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Luke and Anne got into a car accident yesterday, they died, and they wanted me and Jake to be Emma’s legal guardians in case something happened to them, but Jake’s work is really dangerous, and I’m ‘too young’ to be a single mother, so the only way we can get Emma’s custody is by getting married, and I can’t get married to fucking Hangman, Gabby, I can’t!”  You let it all out before you even realize that you’re just rambling and rambling, and that probably Gabby hasn’t understood a thing and she’s going to freak out. 

“Luke and Anne are… dead?” 

“Yeah… they’re gone.” 

She starts sobbing, and you want to punch yourself for the way in which you delivered the news. “Send me your location, I’ll go get you.” 

“Don’t worry, Matt is here with me. I’ll go to your house.” 

“I’m… I’m staying at Anne’s.” You clarify, wincing when you hear her swearing with a shaky breath. 

“Of course you are, Emma needs all the stuff that’s in that house. I’ll see you in 20.”

Just wait until she finds out that you two cannot get Emma from CPS until you accept to be her legal guardians... and you can only do that when you get married. 

“....And Hangman just went to get a marriage license because apparently it's faster and easier if you’re a member of the military.” You finish the story, watching how Gabs' knuckles tighten when she grabs the mug with force. 

“Man, life couldn’t get more complicated even if it tried.” She sighs, wiping her face with a tissue. “How are you holding up? We all  were best friends, but you’ve known her all your life, honey… And now you have to take her place, and raise her daughter.” 

You nod, eyes unfocused as you drift away, remembering a conversation from a few weeks ago, in which you told Anne that you ‘envied the life she had’. A life that now was yours. 

Yesterday, when you woke up, you were a single writer who had just published a new novel. You had good friends, you had a good life, a good house, a good car. It was everything you ever wanted, and you worked so damn hard to make it happen. 

When you wake up tomorrow, you are going to be a married woman and a mother. You’re going to have to give up your car and your house. You’re going to have to reschedule all your promotions and the release of your new book. It’s going to take a few months before you settle down and manage to find time for yourself and time to write again. 

How much can a life change in one day, huh.

“With a man I hate. This feels like shitty fanfiction written by a teenager.” You scoff, letting your head hit the back of the sofa while you close your eyes. 

“Honey, you started with shitty fanfiction written as a teenager.” Gabby  says, making you chuckle. 

“I hope that nobody ever finds them.” 

The main door opens, and you see Jake, followed by all the members of his squad. “Hey, Gabby.” He greets your friend. 

Gabby only answers with a nod, turning her head towards the rest of the aviators, noticing that Nat is between them. Gabby may or may not have a tiny crush on her. But she knows that this is not the time to be a teenager with a crush. 

“You got the license?” You ask Jake when he sits next to you, taking a deep breath and nodding. 

“Yeah, it was easy. I called the squad to act as witnesses; I thought Gabby was in Texas working on her next movie.” 

“We’re switching locations, and they gave me a few days off. I have to call them and let them know that I have to attend a service.” She grabs her phone and goes to the kitchen, probably to call her agent. 

Sometimes you forget that you met Gabby a few years ago, when one of your first books was turned into a movie, and you went to the studio every day to help Anne, who was the director. Gabby was cast as the main actress, and soon the three of you turned into the bestest friends. 

Gabby and Anne were always ready to listen to your craziest ideas and plots for upcoming books, even if that meant staying up until 3 AM and chatting on a video call. Anne used to prepare her pitches with you and Gabby, so it was perfect whenever she had to meet the producers or studio executives. Gabby prepared her scripts with you two, getting ready for her next audition. 

It was the perfect team. You wrote. Gabby performed. Anne directed. 

The three of you were preparing to work together soon, as you had written your first screenplay not long ago. Anne insisted on you giving it a try, because your books ‘felt like movies most of the time, so it’s not that different’. And you did, finding that it was funny and really entertaining. Auditions are being made at the moment, and the only thing you know is that Gabby was the hilarious best friend of the main character. 

It made you sad, though. The amount of times she had performed that role over the years... And even after she won not only a Grammy but was nominated for another one! Why is she still getting these roles? Gabby said that, in this film, she felt more connected to that character than to the main one, so she was not mad about it. 

But you’re getting tired of Hollywood’s hypocrite ass. They always talk about inclusivity and giving more opportunities to other actors, but you don’t usually see a black actress in the main role of a big movie. That’s Hollywood for you. 

“I guess we’re going to the courthouse now.” You question, observing as all the members of the squad, some of whom you can consider friends but others whom you don’t know as well, are standing in their dress uniforms. 

“In a bit.” Jake clears his throat. “Look, we only have to pretend until the caseworker approves us. Then it’s all over.” 

“Oh, so you want me to get a divorce as soon as we get a seal of approval?” You retort, turning your body in his direction. 

“What, you want to be my wife?” He scoffs, looking at Javy, who is shaking his head, as if he was telling him to stop with the jokes. 

Jake should listen to Javy sometimes. 

“I’m a public figure, Jake. Once I get married, everybody will know! And if I get a divorce in three months, right after CPS gives us their blessing, people will know too!” 

“What do you mean? Do I have to play the doting husband for the rest of my life?” He raises his voice, and you can see from the corner of your eye how Rooster takes a step in your direction, but Bob and Payback stop him. 

“This was your idea, Jake. Don’t yell at me.” 

“Then tell me, what was I supposed to do? Let a bunch of strangers take my goddaughter away?” You can see the unshed tears in his bloodshot eyes. He had been crying, too. Probably even more than you and Gabby. 

There’s a different level of connection between people who risk their lives together. It’s unsimilar to everything you've seen. The stronger the connection, the bigger the loss. 

“I think that you took the only option we had. But we’re gonna have to fake being in a marriage for longer than you initially thought.” You get up from the sofa, moving to the kitchen, only pausing midway when he asks his next question. 

“How long?” 

How long? Well, that’s a good question. Long enough for them not to suspect. Long enough so they forget about you two. 

How long is that?

“A year.” You proclaim, feeling as if your words echo all over the house. 

“Do you have any cute dresses in your suitcase?” Gabby says, rummaging through the small suitcase you packed for the three days you were supposed to stay away from the city. 

“No, I don’t have anything appropriate for a fake wedding.” You groan, sitting on the bed. 

“Maybe we can go buy something before we get to the courthouse?” 

“I don’t think we have time for that, Gabs.” 

A soft knock on the door makes you tear your gaze away from your friend, waiting for the newcomer. Nat’s head pops up from the other side, eyes closed. “Are you girls visible?” 

“Yeah, we’re trying to find a dress.” Gabby says, checking her reflection in the mirror before Nat opens her eyes. 

Rolling your eyes, you see that the pilot has a bag in her hands. “What’s that?”

“On my way here,” Nat starts, walking into the room and handing you the bag. “I thought that maybe you didn’t have anything to wear. So I bought you this.” 

You get the dress out of the bag. It has a vintage air to it, and it’s white. The skirt stops over the ankles. It’s the kind of wedding dress that was used for civil weddings. Just like yours. 

“It’s beautiful, Nat. Thank you. You didn’t have to.” You hug her, trying to understand how a beautiful soul like hers is friends with Jake. 

“Me and Bob will take you to the courthouse. Take as much time as you need.” She nods in Gabby’s direction and leaves the room. 

You start crying as soon as you realize that your best friend will not be attending your wedding. 

The ceremony isn’t long, and you’re grateful for that. Because you’re not sure how much time you can hold Jake’s hands on yours, while faking to be madly in love. Jake plays the part like a champ, even telling the officiant that he didn’t want to rush this wedding, but he’s going to be deployed soon and wants to marry the love of his life before he has to leave for a few months. 

It takes all your strength not to take off your high-heels and throw them at his head. But the shoes are Anne’s, and you don’t want to damage them. It’s something borrowed. The sapphire earrings are an heirloom given to you by your grandma. It’s something old, and something blue. And the dress, bought for you by Nat, is something new. 

You didn’t care about these small traditions because this wedding wasn’t real, but if you’re going to be married to this idiot for a year, at least you’re going to do it right. 

“The future promises many happy days ahead,” says the officiant, making you take a deep breath to avoid laughing at his face. No, there are no happy days ahead for you. “filled with unique opportunities, adventures, and challenges. It is through trust, love, and the unfailing support of each other that you will meet these inevitable ups and downs.”

You and Jake look at each other, feeling the weight of the words on your shoulders. There will be adventures and challenges, and as much as you hate to admit it, the only way you are going to survive this year, is by supporting each other. 

“Do you, Jacob Seresin, take Y/n L/n to be your spouse and to live together as partners, to treat them her love and respect, and to build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as time passes?”

Jake doesn’t even blink when he answers. “Yes, I do.” 

“And do you, Y/n L/n, take Jacob Seresin to be your spouse and to live together as partners, to treat him with love and respect, and to build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as time passes?” The officiant repeats the same words, but they don’t feel as the ones he said to Jake. They feel heavy. Like a doom. 

“Yes, I do.” 

“The wedding ring represents the promises and potential of marriage. It has no beginning and no end, and is a timeless symbol of the love and commitment you have pledged. As you wear your ring, let it remind you of the love you feel here today.”

Love. The only thing that you don’t feel towards your soon-to-be husband.

“Jacob, place the ring on Y/n’s finger and repeat after me.”

Javy gives Jake the ring, that is soon placed on your finger. It’s cold. A coldness that burns your skin. 

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion, as we join our lives together, today, tomorrow, and for as long as our love shall last.

Those are the words that Jake and you have to repeat, each of them damaging your soul and leaving behind small crecives that you hope time can heal. 

The officiant’s next words make you cry, but he believes that you’re just an ‘emotional bride’. 

True marriage is more than just a ceremony or a piece of paper – it is a lasting bond that joins two lives and two hearts. 

You don’t want him near your heart. 

Marriage is love.

You don’t love him.

Companionship.

He will spend most of his time away.

Trust.

You don’t trust him.

And Respect.

The only thing you respect is his job and his dedication to Emma.

May you always find strength in each other, laugh with each other, and find safety and comfort in each other’s words and company.

What strength? What laugh? 

May you celebrate many joyful seasons together, support each other when days are difficult, and continue to learn and grow closer together with each passing year. 

Only four seasons with him. Nothing more. 

“You may kiss!” 

And when he kisses you, Jake doesn’t know if the saltiness in his lips is because of his tears or yours.

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[sothischickshe]

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks (ty! 💛💛💛) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,245

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The only fandom I've ever published fic for is good girls

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bringing down the neighbourhood

waiting for someone who needs me🧞

What a sight to see🧛🏻

(a) time to kill

yourself and others

I'm not sure the middle 3 would def be there were it not for the anon kudos bombing but w/e it's nice having some single chapter fics in the top 5 🤘

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! 🥺🥺🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A time to refrain (from embracing) methinks!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Both installments of the Are you afraid or is it true series are pretty fluffy. Maybe the second part (Through the park and by the tree) wins out? 🤔

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally. There was someone in the gg fandom leaving mean bookmark notes tho 🙄🗑️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. What are the kinds? 👀

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, and I don't imagine I would?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I'm aware of. It could be interesting to see how it would go!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, as kids me and a friend co-wrote a tortall 'verse crackfic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ooof. Maybe spuffy? That met me at a very formative time of my life, and I didn't expect it to become so canon (as opposed to like under a spell etc) and I think that experience really reshaped my brain 🤯🤯🤯 but fundamentally faves questions are immoral thus this is a very rude question.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I'll finish all of them, and do intend to! I'm not sure I'll ever write the hilarious abortion fic tho.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, a love of language/interesting prose. A love of brevity/somewhat chiselled sentences. A love of editing/willingness to improve. Interesting stories. Dialogue, tho brio get little bc theyre annoying. Characterisation!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well I violently dislike plot. I don't feel super strong on creating original characters. I'm slow! I'd rather let things be confusing than beat readers over the head with info, which I think can be detrimental. I wouldnt say my descriptions are super strong, though I think they've improved a lil. Sometimes there's too much internal monologue at a go which breaks up the pacing of an eg dialogue scene (though again think that's improved somewhat). My love of planning and love of pantsing are at constant war lol, I get grumpiest abt stuff not having been established earlier and thus needing to state things which couldve been well demonstrated. Blocking, sometimes. I love short stories and oneshots but I'm apparently prone to writing long fics & continuing things into series which I consider a real weakness, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it in principle, I've read a lot of books which contain a lot of eg French or Spanish (often untranslated). We've got access to Google translate or w/e right? I do appreciate it when translations are provided bc lazy (and I think Ao3 does poss let you do hyperlinked superscript?). I feel the same way abt it in fic as in other media I think -- if you're happy for it to be a bonus to those that understand and everyone else needs to work to figure it out, I concur. If you think it needs to be understood, then providing translations (even if just as notes @ the end) makes sense.

But I also think pls don't write it via Google translate... If u don't speak the language/don't have someone who can help u translate it, don't write dodgy shite Spanish or w/e 🙈 not everything needs to be literal dialogue u can just say 'he explained to his grandmother abt the change in plans' or w/e I swear

...o wait I'm guessing the q meant me as a writer not reader 🤦 I don't think I've done much of it? Altho I do always seem to imply that every character speaks French, a language I don't really speak so who the hell knows 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published for: good girls. Wrote for hmmm I guess tortall books maybe? 🧓🤷🏼‍♀️

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooof, immoral question! Let's say upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life tho bc every time I remember I wrote a fic where rio & Dean swap bodies I giggle 😂 there's so much abt this fic which is very funny to specifically me teehee

Tagging🔖🔖🔖🔖🔖: @hereliesbb @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison @inyoursheets @bensonstablers @blizabrth @delicatelingon & U right in the middle of your forehead if u wanna play 😚🎯