#but also the artwork gives me bad brain feels

[ineffectualdemon]

Internet stop trying to get me to care about One Piece Challenge

[mae-lou-ron]

Back to Sleep

Summary: After some bad dreams interrupt your sleep, you find some unexpected comfort in your beloved partner, Tech.

Pairing: Tech x gn!reader

Word Count: ~800

TWs/Tags: pretty G rated, hurt/comfort, waking from bad dreams (no details), fluffy practical Tech in a newish relationship

A/N: AHHHHHH okay okay okay so the plot goblins absolutely infested my brain after I saw THIS ✨incredible✨ artwork of our darling Tech by @ghostymarni 🫶🏻

This is completely self indulgent because, well, I love him, your honor. I was also inspired by the scene in the episode of Schitt’s Creek where Alexis tells David about her breakup with Mutt and realizes she needs a hug 😂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Tech?" you murmured into the room he was occupying.

Tech hummed softly in acknowledgment. "It is late and I am in the middle of repairs—what do you need?" he asked quietly, not looking up from his project.

You didn't take offense to his demeanor when interrupted; it was just how his brain worked. His mind never ceasing its search for information and solutions. Sometimes that meant extracting himself from your sleepy cocoon to pursue whatever pathway his incredible mind had opened up to him in the middle of the night. But when you didn't respond for a moment, it shifted his unwavering attention to you, immediately noticing your slightly disheveled state.

"I just…" You paused again. "Maker, this is so stupid," you muttered under your breath, unsure if Tech heard you or not.

There was no room for anxiety in your gut now that the mortified butterflies had taken over. Things were still fairly new with you and Tech. You appreciated that he wasn't one who typically relied on physical affection to convey his feelings—and neither were you, really, but right now you were still a human with a rattled nervous system.

You heard the sound of tools being set down gently and the quiet thump of his approaching footsteps.

Your face was burning with embarrassment. You weren't a child, clearly, you should be able to console yourself and go back to sleep, but you were here now and had his undivided attention. Something that made your chest flutter wildly whenever you had it.

The toes of his boots came into your view as he stopped in front of you. "Sarad?" Tech inquired, his voice softening. "Is something the matter? You seem… unsettled." He offered. The warmth he always radiated displaced some of the chill that had set into your bones, and you instinctively leaned forward into him a little more. "Did I wak—"

"I had a nightmare—" you blurted out, inwardly groaning. Your eyes flicked up to his briefly before focusing on the middle of his chest. “I woke up and you…”

"I see," he said softly after a moment, adjusting his goggles as he regarded you. "You were seeking comfort after your bad dreams had woken you?"

"It's nothing—I was just a bit anxious when I woke up, but it's… it's nothing," you said again, standing on your tiptoes and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'm fine, I really should go back to sleep…and don’t to stay up too la—" you rambled, still talking yourself out of what you weren’t even sure you needed. You took a few steps back the way you came, but Tech’s hands on your shoulders stopped you.

"Your heart rate is elevated," he said plainly, peering at you. "You are flushed and speaking more quickly than usual." Tech lifted the back of his hand to gently run along your heated cheekbone. "…and you are avoiding eye contact with me, so I can deduce that you are, in fact, not 'fine’, my dear," he said softly, his fingers trailing down your chin before he pulled them away.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked genuinely. “I know that helps you sometimes,”

You shook your head, furrowing your brow. "It's just the same one I told you about," you confessed, biting the inside of your cheek, trying to determine yourself what it is you were seeking. His hand was back at his side, but you wished it was still caressing your face.

"I think I might need a hug…" you said warily, as if you were unsure of the words that came out of your own mouth. "…or something?" You added, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Ah," he said, his eyes darting back and forth processing this information. He did that sometimes. You couldn't help but smile at seeing the brain you adored at work for you. "I understand," he added before walking back to his workbench—making it seem as though he didn't actually understand at all. You took a few steps in his direction as he pulled over a nearby chair and sat down.

Confusion was visible on your face. You told him you needed a hug, or something, and he immediately went and sat down? Possibly to continue the task you had just interrupted? But he didn't start working; he just looked at you expectantly.

"Come here, sarad," he said gently, shifting in the seat and patting his legs.

You smiled slowly, now understanding, and tiptoed over to him, gingerly taking a seat in his lap. He pulled you to him tightly, encouraging you to relax and lounge fully on him. He kissed the top of your head and ran his hand up and down your spine as you curled into the crook of his neck, inhaling his familiar scent of clean soap and mechanical ozone.

"This is nice," you sighed contentedly, feeling the tension in your chest releasing.

"Good," he quipped, brushing your face with his fingers again. "Rest. Fall asleep if you wish… I shall be here."

"Thank you," you murmured, curling your arm around his waist and closing your eyes. Tech's hands eventually left you to resume his task, but he pressed his lips into the top of your head every so often, reminding you he was still right there with you. His warmth and the steady thrum of his heart soothed you, while the sounds of his gentle tinkering and even breathing lulled you back into a peaceful sleep.

When you awoke, you found yourself back in Tech's bunk, but this time he was wrapped around you, snoring softly into your shoulder.

[lala-blahblah]

I absolutely cannot sit down and write a nice version of this bc my brain says no, but i would like to let you all know I'm thinking of a fanfic where older Edgeworth is moving back to the US (or japan, whichever universe you subscribe to) and runs into Nick in the store while buying mass produced art to hang on the walls of his new house.

And Nick is like "dear god do you want your house to look like a dentist's office. Please do better" (in a friendly way, they are too old for rivalry at this point) and so Nick invites Edgeworth to come over and take any of his old artwork from college, since it is just sitting in a portfolio in a closet somewhere. And Edgeworth agrees to come over and look through Nick's old stuff together. There are themes of 1) growing older and like reflecting on the past and 2) Nick's character trait of finding meaning in challenges vs Edgeworth's tendency to stick with what he does well. In my head I imagine that Nick was good at art and it came somewhat easily to him and that bored him, and he was drawn to law in part because it was hard and it excited him and made him want to try harder. And i think tying that in with fatherhood, like it being unexpected and hard but something he thrives at because he feels good when there's a challenge. Potentially also touching on how like, when he lost his badge he felt very listless and depressed because he wasn't being challenged anymore, there wasn't anything to drive him and motivate him. And I think Edgeworth would be impressed by seeing Nick's old pieces (I assume he hasn't seen much of his art before) and wondering why he didn't choose to pursue art further. He also thinks about how art had always put him off personally because he couldn't get it "right" right away, and on the other hand how the structure and logic of law came easily to him, which led him to become a lawyer. I think he measures his self worth by his success in his field because he never had the support to believe he had intrinsic value as a person and maybe wasn't so good at making emotional connections with people. So that big contrast between them is so interesting... I think Edgeworth would be jealous of Nick's bravery in pursuing something he was bad at without giving up and Nick would be jealous of Edgeworth's success in law, but in a subdued way as they've grown older.

A far as actual scenes in the fic, I think I would use Nick's art as a conduit for my own agenda to have them talk about topics that are of interest to me... I would like Edgeworth to feel out of his depth for once and for nick to be the confident one as he talks about something he is well versed in, and for edgeworth to have to face that discomfort and also be a little impressed intellectually with Nick. I think I would do that by having them look through some abstract art Nick did (my intro painting classes were all abstract so we could focus on color mixing and getting comfortable with the medium). Edgeworth compliments Nick on a painting with a bunch of colored squares in gradient clusters and then gets embarrassed when Nick tells him those were just color mixing swatches. Alternatively, in my mind they are both asexual and I think even though this feels like a hallmark cliche I would have Edgeworth flounder and be very embarrassed over Nick's old figure drawing piece. I feel like Nick would be like "no you don't understand it's all very professional and normal when we draw them, like it's just about learning the shape language" and Edgeworth would be like "this is very improper and I don't know how to react can we please not look at naked people!". I don't think i would do both, but something to upset the power dynamic for a moment would be interesting! Nick is always the awkward one I want to see him shine for just a moment enough for edgeworth to go "wait what... i've known him for so long but perhaps i don't really know him at all..."

I would want Edgeworth to end up taking a series of 3 canvases Nick did in an oil painting class that were still lifes of objects the teacher had set up around the classroom. I headcanon that Nick actually far preferred drawing people to objects and rebelled against the assignment by hiding his reflection in one of the objects in each drawing- the top of his head is hidden in an ornament on a christmas tree, his eye is reflected in the shine of a china vase, etc. So it's a little secret, and Edgeworth kind of likes that... it is sweet in a way to see a much younger Phoenix captured in time like that. Something Edgeworth will be reminded of when he sees the paintings but nobody else will catch onto

I would want to layer this with a fatherhood storyline... I think i would frame it as nick inviting edgeworth over to dinner with him and Trucy and Edgeworth stepping into this domestic family life as a visitor and witnessing how its transformed Nick, like seeing him from a different lens. I think after they pick out paintings and have dinner they sit around talking. Trucy had been sitting with them, earlier she showed off some magic tricks and gave Edgeworth a picture of hers from the fridge to add to his new art collection (it's a rainbow dolphin and a sea turtle wearing top hats. Nick says she's in her Lisa Frank era). But she's been quiet for awhile and Nick realizes she's fallen asleep and it's like 11. He's like, crap, i screwed up i should've paid attention and gotten her put to bed, I'm a bad father and I have an audience for this failure. And on top of that, I already failed at being a lawyer, no matter what I try I always disappoint everyone. It's an unexpected moment of vulnerability there... like he's seemed so put together and grown up to Edgeworth this whole time like a whole different person, but he's not a different person he just has different sides to him. And this moment is one where edgeworth can be like hey, no, you're a great dad, and I'm impressed by you and everything you achieved. And I think that could lead into vulnerability from Edgeworth about his relationship with his dad and how he misses him/how he feels like he hasn't really been loved by anyone since his dad died, and how Trucy is lucky to have someone like Nick in her life.

Nick excuses himself to carry Trucy to bed and Miles starts cleaning up the kitchen. I would give a moments pause here to talk about the strange intimacy of going through someone else's kitchen cabinets and drawers, you feel like a stranger there trying to put yourself into someone else's shoes to understand how they live in this space. Maybe he guesses the right drawer for the silverware first try and he feels a little spark of connection. like "we are different in many ways but we are alike enough that we look in the same place for our spoons". Details on the kitchen too about the kid safe plastic bowls and knives that indicate a child is part of the household, that the household has been built around the child, in fact. Edgeworth lives alone and I imagine things are kind of fancy for him (he's a man who wears a cravat so he probably has fine china right). It's completely different from this shabby mismatched cutlery that Nick has, but this kitchen has personality. Maybe he wouldn't mind having a kitchen like this so much. This is a hint at him being lonely, being included in this family unit just for a day has given him this curious sense of longing, for what he isn't sure... does he want kids? Does he want Nick? Does he just want to be part of a family? These are confusing questions and he would much rather not feel anything at all, but unfortunately it is late and he did have a glass of wine with dinner so emotions are Happening.

He hears Nick sigh tiredly as he comes into the kitchen, and Edgeworth starts to ask him where his tupperware is when suddenly Nick is wrapping his arms around him and Edgeworth is Very Tense because he's never good at knowing how to act in situations like this and he and Nick have never been on a hugging level before and he's not sure what this is even for. Then Nick is like "I keep thinking about what you said earlier, about feeling alone ever since your dad passed away. I didn't know, that's such a long time to feel alone. I don't want you to think you're on your own". Edgeworth relaxes a little bit because now he knows what the hug is for and what he's supposed to feel from it. Its very kind of Nick to worry but its unnecessary and he says so. He has colleagues he's friendly with and people from law school he keeps in touch with, he's alright. And Nick says he knows but he also knows it's difficult living the way they do, and what he means is single and in your thirties. Because everyone else is getting married or living with a long term partner or at the very least dating and their lives are focused on that relationship as the center of their being. And when you don't have that, not only is it harder to relate to the people around you but it is harder to feel like you matter in people's lives, because they all prioritize their partner before their friends. And maybe their situations aren't exactly the same (Nick has a daughter while Edgeworth lives alone) and maybe their choices were made for different reasons (Nick used to date and didn't mind it but didn't see a need to prioritize it. Edgeworth found himself unable to distinguish with certainty whether or not he was actually romantically interested in people, and rather than make the wrong choice he decided he would rule out error by choosing no one at all). But regardless, they both know first hand the isolation that comes with trying to carve a path for themselves that does not include a life partner in a world where everyone else comes in pairs. And Nick is reaching out across that emptiness saying hey, we might both be building different lives, but there's room for you to be a part of mine if you want.

Outloud, Nick says "Really, Miles. You aren't alone in this." and Edgeworth says "Well, Phoenix, neither are you". And he stands there and lets his friend hug him, and it doesn't feel like butterflies but it does feel solid and warm and good. And he doesn't even worry about whether he's supposed to let go by now or not, because it's nice, not being alone.

They stand there in comfortable silence for a long moment before Nick speaks again. "hey, remember when you used to hate me? And look at us now." Edgeworth turns his head sharply. "I never HATED you, Wright. I simply thought you were foolish and a waste of my time." He realizes a little too late that this is probably a rude thing to say to the person that just gave you a pep talk, but Nick just laughs, his head still resting on Edgeworth's shoulder. Looking at him from this angle, face almost fully hidden, Nick could be any age at all. It's easy to imagine for a moment that he's the same nervous version of himself that stood across from him in the courtroom for the first time all those years ago. The only thing breaking the illusion is the subtle streaks of silver that cross his temples. Not entirely sure why he does it, Edgeworth kisses the top of Nick's head. He feels odd about it the moment he does so, realizing it comes across not as a platonic or romantic action but as a gesture suited for a dog or pet of some kind. Nick looks up, looking confused but not displeased. "What was that for?" "It was a thank you I suppose". Miles steps away now, still uncomfortable with perceived failures even if those failures are just in social interactions, and begins to gather his things while Nick gets down a tupperware from a cabinet. "Thank you, for the dinner and for the paintings." Edgeworth continues. "I'd like to repay the favor once I get settled into the new house. Trucy's invited too, of course". As he says it, he realizes he genuinely is looking forward to seeing them again. Nick walks him to the apartment door and they say their goodbyes while Edgeworth tucks the paintings (and Trucy's dolphin drawing) under his arm.

He gets halfway down the hallway when he hears Nick calling after him. "Hey! Miles! Take an art class with me sometime" Newfound friendship or not, Edgeworth just looks at him in disdain. "what, so you can show off your superior art skills? No thank you, Wright" "No, for fun. You can make things of your own to hang on your walls. We can do something I've never done before so we're evenly matched. Like printmaking? Origami? Um, pottery?" Edgeworth bristles at the suggestions but takes a moment to acknowledge why he's feeling that way; again, it's that fear of failure. But he's enjoyed himself today and deep down he thinks it could be fun to try something new, not with the goal of being perfect at it but with the goal of spending time together. Nick surprised him today. Maybe he can surprise himself. "... I would consider pottery" Edgeworth admits. And Nick looks really happy about it. "Great. I'll book us a session then. It'll be fun, you'll see. Edgeworth shakes his head, but there's no malice behind it. "Have a good night, Phoenix" "You too. Get home safe Miles".

Edgeworth gets home a little before midnight and props the three canvases against the moving boxes still stacked up in the foyer. Tomorrow, he'll figure out where he wants to hang them. Right now though, he walks over to the bare fridge and carefully pins up Tracy's dolphin drawing. There's a lot more work to do, but it's already starting to feel like home.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

Can't believe I gotta do this, but okay...strap on in guys because this isn't only a rant, but informational. Gonna show you how to clock AI writing, why it's bad, how to abuse AI for writing, and how to prove something was written using a chat bot.

Have you ever read a fic and had to pause for a moment? Contemplate a few things? You almost feel like a few times you just couldn't figure out. Or perhaps you saw something that just read super awkwardly.

If this describe you reading some fics, then you might've fallen victim to "AI Writers". Yes, that's correct! A writer who uses AI to help them write their fics. Mind you most people when using this method actually use chatbots! So it's not like they just run into ChatGPT, give it a prompt, and then post it. Oh no. They RP it, maybe clean it up a little so it reads more like a fic, and then they post it.

If any of you are use to RPing with Chatbots like Janitor.ai, or even C.ai, then you might occasionally read a fic and realize it's strikingly familiar to chat you read in your own chats. I, for one, dabble in RPing with bots when I get bored, which is how now and days I can read a fic, see certain lines, and just know.

Now I'm certain I don't need to sit here and explain why this is so bad. However, I'll explain anyways if you'd like to hear my opinion, as well as many other artists and writers:

AI is Plagiarism!

Ya, this is plagiarism. How do you think it's generating responses? Or for artwork, where do you think it's grabbing the images from. It doesn't do it itself. AI is basically giving a program information so it can generate things. A lot of programs that uses AI, as well as websites, uses that written information to generate your responses. You know Google Docs? Ya, it can take information from your writing there. Archive of Our Own? Bingo. Tumblr? Ya, it takes writing from here as well. That means the people who have spent a lot of time on their writing, spending years honing their craft, are having their writing styles and voices stolen from AI in order to make those generated responses. Now when it's just you RPing something, pop off. It's just you and your bot. Share it with a few friends, sure! If you post it online though, those words are a mashup of millions of stories written and posted online. So it's plagiarism. Plain and simple.

2. It sets you back as a writer

Ever wondered why some people can write the most amazing things ever? It's because they wrote. They learned. They practiced. It took time and effort in order to build up those skills. They got there by writing. So how is using AI affecting your writing? Easy, you're not writing. At least...not a lot. If you use a chatbot to write half the things in a fic, you're only doing half the work. You're also bouncing off the idea from your bot and going with it, instead of using your writer brain to figure out how this scene would best be executed. Imagine it like this. Someone uses AI to draw an image for themselves. Then they trace over it, add a few of their own touches, and color it the best they can. Did they suddenly learn how to draw? No. Because they didn't take the time to learn why something is placed like this, how the composition works, etc. Same thing with writing. If you're using AI to do all the work then you aren't learning, and you're not going to be getting better as a writer. If that's the case...why are you writing? It should be a fun experience to write, after all. It should be something you want to get better at. So why are you just having AI do it? Attention? You realize your fics need to be pretty well written to garner attention, right? That brings me to my third point.

3. We can tell...and it's not fun to read

Today a friend showed me an paragraph from a fic he found here on tumblr. I saw it. Without even having to ask I knew it was written by AI. Nobody talks like that except a robot. The wording? Repetitive for AI to use. "Their bond grew with every passing moment." | "Their shared connection." | "His voice was barely above a whisper." | "It was a testament to their relationship." | "He's determined to face this challenge with her, hand in hand, and to make the most out of the second chance he's been given." | "A renewed sense of purpose." | "He's determined to face this challenge with her" If I see these lines, I clock it as Janitor in a heartbeat. Sure, not every time it's used is AI, but those are the most common things I see in every RP with a bot, and I actively need to correct the bots or else they'll use it in every fucking reply. Another thing is...RPs read differently from a fic. They're not made to be read like a narrative story. It's a bot replying to someone, so when you do that things get weird. Not to mention sometimes clothes appear and disappear, a position is changed, etc. It's just not good writing...

4. It's lazy

Simple as that. It's fucking lazy to get AI to write a fic. Trust me, I am one lazy motherfucker. I hate doing things. I want to sleep for literally a solid week. However I made the decision to write things, so I write them. I put in the effort. Other writers who don't use AI? They put in the effort. I know at least 20 people who are depressed as all hell, can barely get out of bed unless it's to go to work, who decided to still write. Not everyone is going to be a fast writer. Not everyone is going to find writing easy. If you're going to commit, though, commit to it. Write it. Don't use AI.

With these points being made, I'm sure you can see why in the writer community, it's frowned upon to use AI as well as bots for your writing...especially when you don't disclose it. I could probably put everything aside if you just said it was written using AI. Honesty is the best policy.

People might not want to read it then, but at least they know that you used AI. At least you admitted to it. Using AI and then passing it off as completely original is disgusting.

So you clocked something as AI written. You’re pretty freaking sure this was written with a Chatbot. So you plug it into an AI checker and what? No AI detected? No fucking way.

Yes fucking way.

The detectors use a range of things like: Language Model Comparison, Repetitive phrases and structures, contextual awareness, among a few other things. Now look at the "Language Model" part. What if a Chatbot doesn't have the most common language models? It doesn't detect it as easily, that's what.

Where does that leave Chatbots? Well, it means it’s not really checking for things like Janitor or C.ai. A lot of times it flies under the radar because of this. I have found that there is at least one site that doesn’t do this. Instead of more or less checks the context of the text to see if it was written using AI, rather than relying on ai models.

Quillbot

This is what I use to check. I also did run it through some tests. Mind you, not every program is going to be completely accurate. This just happens to, after thorough testing, be the best at being able to tell if a chatbot was used.

As you can see here, the one on the far left is a fic that I ran through that was my own writing. In the middle I had copy/pasted my own responses, and my bot responses from Janitor. On the far right I pasted only Janitor responses. While it’s not accurate, it could still detect human written from a chat bot!

In comparison to me running it through other AI Detection softwares (one of them being Grammarly), where they detected nothing in the post that were written by both me, and the bot.

The entire reason I’m even making this post is because I happened to come across a fic that seemed like it was written using AI, so I was curious and ran it through. Mind you, the detection software only lets you paste 1,200 words of the writing, so this was just a snippet. The same size snippets that I had put for all of my own tests. This was the result:

So we can make a good guess that this was…probably written by AI. If you’re wondering, no. This isn’t a call out post. I won’t be stating the user who I did this. I ask you not to speculate in the notes of this post either. I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama, because honestly the writing community for this fandom already has that.

I will say, to the writers who are using AI, I’m not the only person who will probably get curious. If you’re going to use AI for your writing, at least state it in the description. It’s manipulative and wrong to not state it.

I know I said AI is bad, but it's also like Thanos. It's inevitable. I fully think we should abuse the hell out of it and make it our bitch. Now how to do that without using it to actually write? Easy.

Force it to give us ideas. Once upon a time I wanted to do some writing, but couldn't think of anything I wanted to write. Sure there's prompt lists out there, but a lot of them didn't fit what I needed. So I grabbed ChatGPT by it's lil grimy throat. I whispered in it's ears "Write me some prompts."

I then took said prompts to jog some ideas in my head, then wrote my own original content. I used AI to help give me a basic idea for my writing and then came up with my own stories. That's a simple way of doing it.

I know people who will RP with a janitor bot because they have a plot in mind for a story, but are uncertain with how they'd want to execute it. So they RP with a bot first, and then once they have an idea, they write a fic based off their RP. They don’t take what the bot said, copy/paste it, then say it’s their fic. They use it as a tool to help them with their ideas. Sometimes if the bot has a really good line, they might take that singular line from it as well. That’s not taking the entire story, it’s just a line that they knew would flow with the fic, and half the time they edit the line as well.

You can also use it for story titles. Can’t come up with a title? Tell ChatGPT the synopsis of your story and then ask it to generate 10 titles for it (actually I just tried to this see the results and am currently laughing my ass off, maybe don't do this).

Don’t forget things like Grammarly. That’s also AI! You can use it to check your grammar and fix awkward wording in your writing.

There’s ways a writer can use AI as a tool. In my opinion, it’s no different from an artist using the symmetry tool for their art. Or using a 3D model to help them make a pose for a drawing in their program. It’s a tool that should be used to help and improve your own content.

[spiceofvy]

SKZ - Reader is taller than them

cws: fem!reader, sfw, some nsfw-ish vibes, this is pure self-indulgence, mentions of insecurites about the readers height, mentions of people being rude/weird towards the reader due to their height, mentions of Chan being insecure, just fluff except for that

Chan: He is the one who struggles with it the most meaning: at all. He just always felt the need to be some sort of tall strong leader. And no matter how much he is into you, he did feel a bit fragile in his masculinity for a while when people would point out you being taller. He still sometimes wants to prove how strong he is, and how masculine but in the end he loves you more than anything in the world. 

Minho: Does not care. It is just not something he cares about. He loves you for you that's all that matters to him. But if he realizes that it's something you're insecure about. He comforts you and fights anyone who dares to be mean to you. Also, this might seem weird but he likes the action of taking off your thigh-high stockings in the evening, watching how the nylon peels off your skin just does something to him.

Changbin: Oh he is so into it! He didn't know that he would be, but now that he has you right in front of him he wants nothing more than to worship your long legs right here and there. There is nothing better to him than to have your legs lying over his shoulders, while he proves just how much he loves your body. Every delicious centimeter. This man just ended fragile masculinity.

Hyunjin: He was taken aback a bit when he first met you. He is not used to people being taller than him, especially people who are not guys. But he doesn't mind. He loves the aesthetic of your body. Be sure that you are the centerpiece of all his upcoming artworks, especially your pretty body. And when you wear something that shows off your long legs? He is done for.

Jisung: You can tell me a lot about him, but this man is down bad for tall women. Wear those heels. The higher the better, and any person that gives you weird looks for your height can go fuck himself. He is ready to fight them, full predebut Jisung moment. Actually don't just wear the high heels, let him put them on you will you? Full Cinderella moment, with his eyes slowly wandering up further and further. This man loves your height and will show you off.

Felix: He didn't realize it at first. When he met you he was so fully captured by your pretty eyes, warm smile, and kind voice that he didn't pay any attention to your height. But when he finally realizes it's too Late. He is already desperately in love with you. Also he just doesn't care about stuff like that. He loves you no matter how you look and will very much show that. (But he will steal your shirts. And hoodies. And maybe even your sweat pants if you don't stop him)

Seungmin: When Seungmin first saw you, his eyes trailed up your legs, higher and higher they never seemed to end. And he was down bad. That dress with a leg slit? Wear it, but only if you want it ripped off your body at the end of the evening. He never cared for his partner's height but now that he has you, fuck he is done for. He wants to spend his whole day between those legs.

Jeongin: He also has no strong feelings about it. But he likes to tease you "How is the weather up there" just for you to put stuff on the highest shelf so he couldn't get it. There is some possessive part of his brain that is really into you being able to wear his shirts out, like a normal piece of clothing. He just enjoys seeing you out in public wearing something that is his, and no one but the two of you knowing that he has "marked" you in such a way. Sometimes deliberately puts his clothes in your side of the closet.

[badkitty3000]

The Download:

Five Hargreeves x Female Reader

It's the end of the world and everyone you know is gone. After you find yourself at the Hotel Obsidian, you realize you have something in common with the rest of the remaining population. When Number Five takes a particular interest in you, and your special ability, the evening turns into much more than you expected.

The universe may be hours away from imploding, but you and Five are going out with a bang.

Chapters 3, 4, 5 (complete)

WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL DEPICTIONS AHEAD!

Link to Chapters 1 and 2

Link to my AO3 Works

Chapter Three: Inside You

This artwork is also posted with KayBreezy's Bad Things. It's so good it works for both stories!

On that note, you pushed Five back so that he landed on the bed, sprawled out and staring up at you with anticipation as you leaned down, hovering over him so that your breasts were tantalizingly close to his face. As he ran his hands up your sides and back down again, you gave him one long, hard kiss before pulling away again.

“Are you going to keep teasing me all night or are we going to do this?” he asked. You could tell he was trying to be snarky but with his harsh breathing, it came off more desperate. Which you loved.

Nodding and giving him a sly smile, you stood up and closed your eyes. “Be forewarned. It’s about to get a little kinky up in your brain.”

You didn’t open your eyes, but you heard Five breathe out a quiet laugh. You concentrated, going inside your brain and gathering up all the files you wanted him to have. And there were quite a lot. Things that you had experienced with others that you liked and things that you were curious about trying. You thought quickly about the basics of sex and made a little tutorial that he could use, as well.

But the biggest file was filled with all of the things you were dying to have Five do to you. You wanted him to know exactly where to touch you, and how you liked it; how you wanted to be taken. But only by him. Because for some reason, you were dying to have him unleash himself on you. And you wanted him to be the last man you fucked before the world ended.

The golden orb floated in the air between you, growing bigger as your thoughts collected inside. Only a few seconds had passed and it was filled with everything you wanted him to know. With another push from your mind, the orb was absorbed into Five and his eyes briefly glowed with a golden light.

It took just a moment of him taking in everything before he sat up on the bed, feet still on the floor. A lustful smile slowly crossed his face and his eyes darkened. The sudden change had you on edge, like a rabbit cornered by a wolf and you watched anxiously as he stripped off his jacket, vest, and tie. But when he reached up, softly kissing your lips as he guided you back onto the bed, your body immediately relented to his touch; the sense of danger replaced by want.

And fuck, did you want him. You’d never wanted anything or anyone this badly in your life. How had this happened? How had this snarky, arrogant, man-child taken you apart so easily?  Maybe it was his eyes, or just the way he looked at you with all that intensity. Maybe it was the pent-up rage inside of him that you could feel dying to get out. Or maybe it was the pure fucking audacity he had to assume you’d just fall into bed with him. Which he was right about, but still.

“Thank you,” he murmured against your mouth.

His gratitude was oddly sincere and you kissed him in return, looping your arms around his shoulders and running your nails lightly down his back, feeling the warmth of his skin underneath his shirt.

“You gave me a lot to work with here, but I think I’m up for the challenge.”

Five had pulled away, a sly smile creeping across his face when he looked your body up and down as you laid underneath him. You matched his smile with your own.

“Then you better get to work. Because last I checked, the world was still ending and I’d liked to be fucked at least one more time before it does.”

He grabbed your ass, hard with one hand, while the other held his body over yours. He ground his hips into you and you could feel his obvious erection rubbing against your leg.

“Sweetheart, when the world finally ends, you’re going to be so fucked out, you won’t even notice.”

Your opportunity to respond with another witty comeback was cut short when you felt Five’s hand in your hair, gently tugging your head back, and his mouth on your neck. After a few soft kisses, you felt his teeth dig into your skin as he bit down. It wasn’t a hard bite, more like he was experimenting with you. But it was enough to send a quick flash of electricity down your spine and you arched your neck back, letting out a small whine.

It was playing right into his arrogance, letting him get the best of you like that, but you didn’t really care. Every touch of his hand or mouth on your body felt so fucking good, and if inflating his ego a little bit meant you could get more, then you sure as hell weren’t going to do anything to stop it. You could feel how he broke into a self-satisfied smile as he continued to tease you with small nips to your neck, your fingers digging a little harder into his shoulders.

“Since I suddenly seem to know that you want me to mark you all over, I assume you gave me that little insight?” he asked, his teeth and tongue tracing a line under your jaw.

“Yes,” you breathed out.

“And can I also assume that request was meant only for me?”

You sucked in a sharp breath as he moved to your collarbone with a sucking kiss. “Yes,” you answered again. You had a feeling that was going to be your answer for most of his questions going forward. There wasn’t much you were willing to deny him.

Five stopped suddenly, changing his position so he was straddling your thighs and he grabbed your wrists in each of his hands, pulling your arms over your head and pinning them to the bed, just like he had downstairs. His eyes were dark and full of lust as he leaned over you.

“I’m going to give you everything you want, and I’m going to give it to you rough, and hard, and loud; just how I know you like it. And I’m going to mark this beautiful body as my own so everyone will know who it belongs to.”

He gripped your wrists tighter and you swallowed nervously, even though every nerve ending in your body was on fire.

“But first, I want to hear you say it. Not just in my head. Out loud.” He smirked evilly. “Who does this body belong to?”

There was a sharp edge to his voice that was both threatening and pleading at the same time. You had never given up so much of your inner thoughts to anyone before, and having him present them back to you like that was intimidating. But, fuck, it was definitely working. You were going to do whatever he wanted from you; you already knew it.

“It belongs to you,” you managed to get out; sounding much more pathetic than you had intended. Your voice was strained and you pulled against his hands on your wrists, but he held fast.

“That’s my good girl,” he whispered into your mouth as he kissed you.

Had you been able to step outside your body and look down at yourself, you would have laughed. This young kid that was holding you down, somehow overpowering you, and calling you his good girl was way too bizarre to comprehend. But you were too busy letting out a long, desperate moan and pushing your hips up to pay much attention to the ridiculousness of it all.

You had downloaded what you wanted him to know into his mind, but he still had the free will to use it or not. So, there was still an element of suspense as you waited; wondering what he was going to do next. Would he use everything you gave him? Or completely take you by surprise?

Letting go of your wrists, Five ran his hands over and down your bare thighs, his fingers lightly brushing beneath the hem of your dress. Assuming he was going to take his time, he caught you off guard when he found the seam on the side of the skirt and ripped it open in one strong pull. The dress was split open on one side, all the way to your waist. You gasped, breathing heavily, even as you complained.

“Hey, I like this dress.”

“I’ll get you another one,” he responded wryly, even though the tiniest smirk was showing through on his face. “Right now, I want this one off.”

With another hard pull, the other side of the skirt was ripped open. Then, before you even knew what was happening, Five had pulled you up, and reached his arms around to your back. One forceful tug with both hands had the rest of the dress tearing down the back, the zipper pulling away from its stitching and leaving your entire back exposed. The cute, velvet dress that you had admired earlier when you put it on was now essentially a pile of rags.

“Jesus…”

You didn’t have time to say anything more as Five pushed you back against the mattress and pulled the remains of the dress away from your body and all of the way off. Left in your bra and panties, lying beneath him as he continued to straddle your legs, reminded you of your vulnerability. Five may be in a teenage body, but he was clearly stronger than you. Maybe it wasn’t that good of an idea to just trust him with your thoughts. He knew you wanted to be dominated, but what if he took it too far? The fact that he was still fully dressed further tipped the scales to his advantage.

His eyes traveled hungrily over your body, not touching you at first, just taking you all in.

“God damn it, you’re stunning” he growled, his fists clenching briefly like he was trying to control himself.

He moved so that he was kneeling between your legs, and you instinctively bent them at the knees as he leaned over you to kiss you roughly on the mouth. You moaned into him as he pushed his tongue inside and bit at your lips. His hands were on either side of your head, but he started gradually moving south. Your back arched as more bite marks and bruises were branded onto your skin; all down your neck and over your chest. There was no way you’d be able to hide them or cover them up. Which is exactly what he wanted.

Your moans were deep, followed by sharp hisses between clenched teeth after every sensual bite he gave you. The skin under each mark stung even after he had moved on to another, but the hurt was delicious. You wanted more. And your body writhed under him as he took his time. When finally, he was satisfied with his work, Five pulled back to admire the damage he had inflicted. A slow, one-sided smile spread across his face.

“Fuck, I didn’t think you could get any hotter, but I think I like you even better this way.” He ran a finger over one of the bruises on your collarbone. “There’s no doubt this is mine now.”

When he removed your bra, he let out a shaky groan before pushing your tits together, and running his thumbs over each erect nipple, followed by his tongue. It was embarrassing how much you could barely stand any more teasing from him. Your hips were pressing upwards, trying to get any contact you could as your clit throbbed from lack of attention and your panties were soaked through.

“Ah…please,” you whined, not even intending to say it out loud. It was as if your body had taken over your brain and it only wanted one thing.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Am I taking too long?” Five teased.

There was no warning, no hint of what he was thinking, when he reached down between your legs, shoving his hand into your underwear. The sudden sensation of his fingers on you, when you had been starving for his touch, sent your hips thrashing wildly into him, your head thrown back and a long, loud whine escaping from your lips.

His fingers leisurely stroked through your folds and over your clit. This was almost a worse torture than no touch at all, and you wanted so much more. The fact that you were completely coming apart for him was fueling Five’s confidence and he kept up the languid pace.

“I love how wet you are for me,’ he said quietly before kissing your mouth, and cutting off another moan. “Are you dying for me to fuck you right now?”

You didn’t care about the preservation of your dignity anymore, and you whimpered sad and pleading, clutching at his shoulders.

“Yes, god, please…”

With another irritating smirk, Five placed a kiss at the corner of your mouth. You were fighting the urge to push his hand harder into yourself, when he removed his fingers all together. With a wicked grin, he brought his hand up to his mouth and sucked his fingers clean, all while looking you in the eye. You didn’t think such a dirty act could be so hot, but there was the fucking proof as another rush of wetness formed between your legs.

“Sorry, darling. You’re going to have to wait a little longer for a good fucking. Right now, I want a better taste.”

You held your breath as he pushed your soaking wet panties off and moved his body down for better access. The minute you felt his tongue on you, your whole body arched and you grabbed the bedcovers beneath you in your fists.

“Fuuuck…Five!” you yelled, your voice strained and high-pitched in its neediness.

It wasn’t going to take long; that much was clear. Even though you had given him some basic instructions on what you liked in your mind transfer, you were pretty sure what he was doing went way beyond the basics. Maybe he didn’t have experience, but he sure as hell had good instincts, and apparently that translated to eating pussy, as well.

He didn’t let up, no matter how hard you bucked against him; his tongue swirling and licking through your most sensitive areas. When he started flicking his tongue over your clit, you were just about at your limit; but when he pushed two fingers inside of you while his mouth was still on you, you completely tipped over the edge.

“Oh god…don’t stop…please…yes…right there…OH FUCK!”

The spasms ripping through your body were hard and intense and you could feel each and every muscle contracting while you pushed yourself harder against him. Your cries were loud and could probably be heard by anyone that happened to be on the same floor. But, luckily or unluckily, depending on how you looked at it, there weren’t any other people around.

Five waited until your body had relaxed again and your whimpers had died down before fully pulling away and removing his fingers from you. He sat back, breathing hard, but smiling as he saw what a complete mess he had just made of you.

“Jesus…Christ,” you panted up at him. “I thought you’d never done that before.”

Five shrugged, the arrogance never leaving his face. “I told you. I’m the best at everything.”

It was such an outlandish, egotistical claim, and yet you had every reason to believe him now. You let out a breathy laugh and sat up, trying to compose yourself again. Even though your body needed time to recover post-orgasm, Five was still full of pent-up horniness and you could practically see it radiating off of him. You could also see it in his pants.

Climbing off the bed, you grabbed the collar of his dress shirt with one hand and pulled him up for a kiss, your other hand palming over his erection, rubbing it firmly over the outside of his pants.

He gave a loud groan as you kissed him, pushing into your hand at the same time. When you pulled away from his mouth, you grinned.

“If that dick gets any harder, you’re going to be ripping right through those lovely tailored pants of yours.”

Five pulled you roughly against his body with a grunt. “Then let me fuck you.”

You eyed him up for a second. You were absolutely going to let him fuck you; but with your own needs met for the time being, you were more than willing to wait a while and have some fun with him in the meantime. With a slow shake of your head, you closed further in on him, forcing him to back up until there was nowhere else to go and he was pinned against the wall. You pressed your naked body against him, kissing him hard.

His chest was heaving with loud breaths and he dug his fingers into your bare skin as he held tightly to your hips. As you reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt, your eyes met his and your mouth turned up at one corner.

After you pulled his shirt out of his pants, you spread it open and ran your hands down his firm chest. His eyes had closed again from your touch and his head tipped back against the wall as you sucked a red bruise on his neck, right under his jaw line. His pulse was racing beneath your lips. When you pulled away, you smiled with satisfaction.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Five. But I’m going to ruin this beautiful new body of yours. Because you belong to me now.”

You could feel the vibration of a shaky exhale as you marked another bruise on his neck and he wound his fingers tightly into your hair.

“Just let me fuck you…please,” he begged desperately.

You shook your head no, even as his fist tightened in your hair and he let out a low groan of frustration.

“You’re wound so tight right now, you’re going to explode the second your dick is inside of me.” Five moaned quietly with just the thought. “And no one wants that. So, let me take care of that problem first.”

You got to work unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants, all while leaving a trail of marks over his supple, fair skin. Working with touch alone, you found the waistband of his underwear and slowly ran your fingers inside, listening to his strained breathing as he reflexively jerked his hips toward you. The poor man had waited long enough, so you pushed the waistband over his nicely-sized erection, grasping the solid shaft in your hand.

Five let out a loud, drawn-out groan as you slid your hand up and down slowly, savoring the silky-smooth feeling of his skin. But you didn’t tease him very long and soon you were stroking him faster and firmly, lightly twisting your hand as you spread the leaked pre-cum over his length. Marking his collarbone with your teeth as you rapidly jerked him off, you couldn’t help but notice how it was turning you on, as well.

From the gasping, guttural sounds that Five was making, to his tightening fist in your hair, it was making you wet and you had to concentrate on what you were doing. You didn’t want to lose the momentum; he was already teetering close to the edge. You were surprised when you suddenly felt his hand on your wrist, stopping your movements. When you looked up at him, his face was filled with a mixture of desperation, lust, and worry.

“Stop…I can’t…I’m…” He was panting hard, his words catching in his throat as he tried to speak.

Taking your other hand and pushing him off of your wrist, you gave a tiny shake of your head. “Come in my hand. It’s ok.”

With just a few more strokes, Five was arching his back, his palms flat against the wall as he thrust his hips towards you, his cock throbbing as he came hard with your hand around him. Ropes of cum painted your hand and forearm, his strangled cry mixing with the shuddering of his body as you worked him through it. When he was finally spent and drained, you released your grip and he collapsed limply into the wall.

“Fucking Christ,” he breathed out, finally able to open his eyes and look at you again.

“Christ had nothing to do with that. That was all me,” you joked as you tucked him back into his underwear again.

It was the first time you had heard him genuinely laugh; it was short and breathy, but it was sincere and made you laugh, too. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy, which was weird considering everything you’d just experienced together, you excused yourself so you could clean up in the bathroom. As luck would have it, Five had found a room with an attached bathroom, rather than the community baths on some other floors. It was old and run-down, as most things in the hotel were, with a sad looking pedestal sink and separate faucets for hot and cold water. Still, there was clean, running water; which all things considered was kind of a miracle. Once you were washed off, you joined Five back in the room.

He was sitting on the bed, his pants zipped back up, but with his shirt fully off and lying next to him. As he saw you come out, he held the shirt out to you.

“I realized I destroyed your only piece of clothing, so you can wear this in the meantime if you’d like.”

The shy smile on his face, combined with his dark, tousled hair had him looking every bit of seventeen and you wondered briefly if you had actually done the right thing. But then he watched you as you tugged your underwear back on and pulled your arms through his white dress shirt, his eyes roaming over your body like he didn’t just have his face between your legs and his dick in your hand. You were filled again with that feeling, like electricity coursing through your veins from just one lustful stare.

Five stood up and closed the gap between you. The shirt he gave you was still unbuttoned but it loosely covered your breasts and hung down past your hips, with the black lace of your panties over your ass peeking out the bottom. He placed his hand lightly on your neck, rubbing his thumb over one of the bruises he had left.

“I like this. You, wearing my shirt and my bite marks. Makes me want to give you more.”

Your panties hadn’t even had a chance to dry out before they were saturated again. But you looked up at him, tracing your index finger over a red, mouth-shaped mark on his chest.

“I wouldn’t mind some more.”

Grinning in that arrogant way that you were inexplicably starting to crave, he gave you a quick but gentle kiss on the lips.

“Oh, we’re going to get to that. You’ve filled my brain with far too many things to be calling it a night already. And besides, one of the perks of being young again is the very short recovery period.”

“Well, that’s good to know,” you smiled.

Five started buckling his belt back up and your eyebrows creased together in confusion.

“Usually, you don’t get more dressed before banging.”

He gave a short chuckle. “I figured maybe I could go find you some actual clothes to wear since you may want them eventually. And maybe some drinks to bring back.”

You nodded and looked around the hotel room. There wasn’t much in the way of amenities and the orange glow coming from behind the curtain over the one window in the room made you feel uneasy. Five didn’t seem to notice your anxiety, though, and he pushed his hand through his hair to comb it back off his face.

“I’ll be back soon,” he stated before heading for the door.

“Wait!”

He turned back to you and you suddenly felt foolish for not wanting to be left alone. “You’re not even wearing a shirt or socks and shoes,” you offered up as an excuse.

Five shrugged and looked down at himself. “I don’t care. The odds of running into anyone are pretty low, and even if I do, I don’t really give a shit.”

You nodded, your mouth drawn to the side in contemplation, and you twisted your hands together in front of your body. Five finally noticed your hesitation, and he walked back over to you.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” you looked back over towards the window and then back to Five. Your voice cracked a little when you spoke. “I guess I’d rather not be completely obliterated while I’m all by myself. As dumb as that sounds.” You attempted a half-smile.

Five studied your face for a second and you weren’t sure how to read his expression. Was he going to make fun of you? Scoff and say it hardly mattered if you were alone or not, you were all going to die? You held your breath as you waited for him to speak.

“Yeah, I get that,” he said, with no trace of cynicism.

You swallowed. “Can I go with you? It’s probably easier if I find my own clothes, anyway. I do have what I was wearing before; I used the bathroom on the first floor to change.”

The corner of Five’s mouth turned up and he looked down at your current clothing situation.

“As much as I would love to watch you walk around in this outfit, do you really want to go out like that?”

You let out a soft laugh and looked down at yourself. Then you started buttoning up the shirt to cover as much of your body as possible. “Like you said, we probably won’t see anyone. And if we do, I don’t give a shit either.”

He nodded with a smile. “Ok, then. Let’s go.”

Five opened the door for you to walk out first, but not before he gave you one good smack on the ass as you passed by him, making you jump and cry out. But the look you shot him over your shoulder as you kept walking let him know you definitely hadn’t minded.

You and Five took the elevator down to the first floor, stepping out cautiously and looking both ways out of the doors to make sure there wasn’t anyone coming. With the coast clear, you set off in search of your clothes while Five took off in the direction of the bar.

After successfully locating your clothes and shoes that you had originally been wearing, you didn’t bother putting them back on. The plan was to meet Five back at the elevator and go back to the room. So, there was really no point in putting more clothes on.

On your way back, you heard raised voices coming from the lobby area. Concerned, you made your way over; close enough to see and hear what was going on, but far enough back that you hadn’t been noticed yet.

“…none of your god damned business, that’s why! And since when do you care what I do, anyway?”

“Since you just randomly left the wedding, then suddenly showed up down here, half-dressed and covered in an astounding number of hickeys! I think that might warrant an explanation.”

Five laughed in a way that even you recognized as dangerous, and you barely knew him. “You’re unbelievable, you know that, Allison? I don’t have to explain anything to you. If you want to blame me for everything that’s happened, fine, go ahead. But I am done apologizing. So, why don’t you go glare angrily at someone else? I’m done with your bullshit.”

Their loud voices must have alerted the others from inside the ballroom, and soon everyone was gathered around while Five angrily ran his hands through his hair. You still hadn’t said anything or moved any closer, but Diego spotted you across the room and his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Oh, shit,” he said with a half-smile.

Following his eyes, the rest of the crowd turned to look at you. Your first instinct was to shrink back into the shadows, or turn and run back to the room. But you saw Five’s rage-filled face and felt bad he was being ganged up on. Plus, you had told him you didn’t give a shit if anyone saw you. So, in answer to all of the wide eyes and shocked expressions, you squared your shoulders back and walked closer; your bare feet padding across the threadbare carpet and Five’s dress shirt barely covering your crotch.

“Seriously?” you heard Ben complain from the back of the group.

Allison crossed her arms over her chest and jutted her hip out. “Well, if it isn’t the Whore of the Apocalypse,” she sneered.

“Fuck you!” you shot back, walking up beside Five.

“Excuse me?” she asked, taking a menacing step towards you.

You stood your ground and Diego shot an arm out to the side to stop Allison from coming any closer to you. Your stare down with her was interrupted by a sudden outburst from Klaus.

“Aw, you guys…look! They have matching tattoos!” he joked, referring to the marks on both of your bodies.

Lila laughed loudly and Ben huffed, but everyone else just stood staring back and forth between you and Five, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Uh, Five? Isn’t she a little old for you?” Luther piped up.

“Well, technically he’s older than her. But I see your point. It’s a little weird,” Diego added.

“Yeah, and have you ever even, you know…” Klaus made a hole with his hand and poked his index finger in and out of it, whistling, “aside from your mannequin wifey?”

Five gave him a death glare.

“ …who was lovely by the way,” Klaus added brightly.

“What if she’s controlling your mind right now? Would you even know it?” Viktor asked with a dismissive glance in your direction.

Five opened his mouth to say something but you jumped in first. “That’s not how my powers work and you know it! It’s the end of the world and you people can’t just stay out of our business? Jesus, you really are a bunch of assholes.”

Viktor looked toward you with narrowed eyes. “My brother’s business is our business. You, however; I don’t give a shit about you.” Then he turned to Five. “Why is she even here? She’s not a part of this family.”

Five was the one that cut you off from speaking this time. He shook his head slowly, his entire body tensed like a coiled snake ready to strike. You could see the muscles in his arms and chest flexing as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his side, his abdomen even more defined as his core tightened. His eyes were dark and dangerous, despite the tight-lipped smile on his face.

“You’re right, Viktor, she’s not. Which is just one of many reasons I would prefer her company right now than any of yours.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Diego demanded.

“Shit, we’re all going to be incinerated in a few hours anyway, so I might as well say it,” Five muttered to himself. Then he looked Diego in the eyes. “I am done.”

“Done with what?” Luther asked.

Five gestured to all of them standing there. “You. Us. This whole fucked up family. I’m done apologizing, I’m done trying to fix things for you, and I’m done listening to your constant whining. Because here’s the truth; we may be about to die from an imploding universe right now, but the only reason you’re still standing here at all is because of me.”

When they started to protest, Five held his hand up. You could see his body soften slightly, but he remained poised and ready to fight.

“The fact is, I am exhausted. All I have heard for the past few weeks is What’s the plan, Five ?, What do we do now, Five ?. I gave you the warnings and I told you my time jumps weren’t exact. You knew of the risks before you agreed to any of it. And then what do I get after I save all of your sorry asses? This is all your fault, Five, We never should have listened to you, Five, You’re the reason I lost everything, Five.”

His words hung heavy over the room. No one said a thing, although they all exchanged silent glances with one another.

Five’s voice quieted and his shoulders slumped a little. “You can count me out of your little voting ceremony with Dad tomorrow. I don’t really care if you go along with him or not. But I’m staying here. Because no matter what horrible thing he’s going to lure you into, somehow you’re going to make it my fault. So, like I said; I am done.”

He shouldered past Klaus to get to the bar and leaned over to grab two full bottles of what you assumed to be whiskey. Then he walked over to you, shoved one of the bottles in your hand and looked you in the eyes.

“Do you still want to come back with me?”

You just nodded your head; still trying to take in all that he had told his family. Without another word, he grabbed your free hand and pulled you along with him as he stormed out of the lobby and towards the elevator. You couldn’t help but notice that no one called after him or asked him to come back. No one yelled out a half-hearted apology or even cursed him angrily. They just let him go.

Once inside the elevator, he wordlessly yanked the stopper out of the bottle in his hand and tipped it to his mouth, swallowing down an impressive amount in one gulp. When he lowered the bottle again, he was breathing fast and hard from adrenaline and his chest was heaving.

“Are…you ok?” you ventured.

He turned to you with surprise, almost as if he had forgotten you were there, so lost in his own thoughts.

He nodded. “Sorry about that.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It sounds like it needed to be said.”

Five shrugged and the elevator doors opened to your floor. He took another sip of the whiskey as he walked out. “Fuck them, anyway.”

You weren’t quite sure if he was talking to you, or to himself, but you chose not to comment. Instead, you followed him to the room and let him blink you inside since you never did get the key to the door. Once you were inside, you set down your clothes and the bottle you had been carrying. Then you took the one Five had out of his hand without asking. He watched as you took your own long swig and set it down next to the other one.

“That’s enough for now. I’m counting on you to be able to perform certain duties,” you said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood and break Five out of his angry brooding.

It worked, because you saw that flicker of lust cross his eyes again. “Come here.” His voice was soft but forceful.

He pulled you to him with a hand on the small of your back and the other on the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek gently. When he kissed you, he tasted like whiskey and sex and desire, and you threaded your fingers into his hair as he held you tighter. Without any more hesitation, you began to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants, at the same time that he moved to hastily unbutton your shirt.

“You’re not going to rip this one off of me, too?” you teased.

“Fuck no. This is an exquisitely tailored shirt. I’m not going to just ruin it.”

With a roll of your eyes, you pushed his pants and underwear down his legs and he kicked them off, at the same time pushing the dress shirt off your shoulders and onto the floor. He lifted you up with his hands on your bottom and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your kisses were intense again as you pressed your naked chest onto his.

When he laid you down on the bed, ripping your underwear off and climbing over you, he stroked your bare thigh and the curve of your ass. You could feel how hard he was as he pressed himself against you.

“God, this fucking body of yours…” he moaned.

“It’s your body, now,” you answered breathlessly and you pushed into him, letting him know you didn’t want to wait any longer.

As an answer, he didn’t take it slow or gently, thrusting his cock all of the way into you in one aggressive push. When you cried out and dug your nails into his shoulder, he let out a long and throaty groan.

“Oh fuuuck, you’re tight.”

With a slow pull back, Five pushed back into you again, the amazing feeling making you gasp and moan. Holding himself over you with one arm, he raised one of your legs up and positioned it so you were resting it on his shoulder. He grinned down at you as you tipped your head back.

“You like this, huh?”

“You know I do.”

You grabbed his ass with both of your hands and pushed him into you, making him suck in a loud breath.

“I also know that you like it rough,” he growled as he suddenly started thrusting into you hard and fast.

He was right, you did like it, and your answer came in the form of a loud and long cry, throwing your head back again and shutting your eyes. He continued to ram into you, snapping his hips forcefully so that your body jerked violently in time with his movements. Your nails clawed at his back and you could feel the tightness of his muscles as he put all of his energy into fucking you as hard you wanted.

It was amazing, this feeling of finally having him inside of you. Maybe it had only been a few hours since you had met, but it felt like a lifetime of wanting and waiting. He was putting his new-found knowledge to work, hitting just the right spot every time, so that you never wanted it to stop. As Five’s thrusts became faster and more intense, he grabbed onto the headboard for leverage, driving himself even deeper inside of you. His skin became slick with a thin layer of sweat as he worked to give you everything you craved, and his hair flopped down and stuck to his forehead. With each animalistic grunt and growl he let out, he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes.

“Five…” you gasped as you clutched harder at his body. “Keep going. I’m going to come. Just don’t stop.”

He gave another low groan and he slammed into you as hard as he could, his cock sliding in and out like it was made just for you. It was all you could take before the room was filled with your shrieks and moans, your fingers digging into his back and your eyes shut tight. You could hear and feel Five come inside you, pulsing into you as his body stilled and he pressed his face into the crook of your neck to muffle the noises that erupted out of him.

You and he must have had the same thought as you moved your leg to a more comfortable position, his body still on top of yours. When he pulled out, a mixture of his cum and your juices running out of you, he leaned down and kissed you and you ran your fingers softly over the red lines you had made down his back.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have pulled out.”

That had been your concern as well, but as the reality of the situation sunk in, you realized it hardly mattered. “It’s ok. I don’t think there’s enough time for us to have to live with any consequences of our actions.”

Five gave you a lop-sided smile and moved next to you, draping an arm over your waist and kissing your shoulder. “Just one of the many upsides of an impending apocalypse.”

With a laugh, you turned on your side so you were face to face. You gently brushed his hair out of his eye and traced his lips with your fingers. It should have been uncomfortable. You hardly knew him, after all. But now that the sexual tension was gone, you felt good lying there with him. You were relaxed and you felt safe. But that didn’t necessarily mean he felt the same and you quickly moved your hand away from his face and backed away a couple inches, just in case he didn’t want that kind of intimacy. This was supposed to be just sex; there had been no talk of what was going to happen afterward. It was quite possible he wanted to be left alone now.

So, you were taken by surprise when he pulled your body back closer and kissed you tenderly while brushing away your own hair off your face. You sighed and snuggled in closer. He turned on his back so that you could rest your head on his chest and he put his arm around your shoulder. You felt him rub his cheek against your hair.

“What else did you put in my brain?”

“Nothing, I swear. Why?”

“Because there is no logical explanation for why you have this hold on me. I don’t even know you.”

You traced the outline of a faded scar on his abdomen, wishing you knew more about his past and that there was more time to learn about it.

“First of all, that’s not how that works. I can’t make you do something you don’t want to do, or make you feel a certain way.”

“I bet you can. You just don’t know you can.”

You frowned and looked up at him. “Are you accusing me of something?”

“No. I’m just saying what I said before. That you most likely have untapped potential in there. And it’s possible that you could unintentionally use those hidden abilities without you even realizing it.”

You sat up and faced him, shrugging his arm off. “So, you are accusing me. You’re saying I somehow tapped into your brain and made you what? Feel actual feelings for me?”

When he didn’t deny it, you climbed off the bed, standing over him as he propped himself up on one elbow. You gave a sarcastic laugh and shook your head in disbelief.

“God, I’m a fucking idiot. I can’t believe I just helped some kid get his dick wet for the first time, only to have it thrown back in my face. What makes you think I want anything to do with you, anyway? I didn’t realize you were that arrogant that you thought everyone is just dying to have you fall in love with them.”

Your voice was shaking and you balled your fists at your side. You wanted to put your clothes back on, because fighting with someone while naked didn’t have quite the same impact. But you didn’t want to break eye contact, staring Five down and waiting to see what pathetic excuse he was going to come up with. You braced yourself for the inevitable anger from him that you had seen towards his family. But that’s not what happened. Instead, he had the nerve to look sorry; watching you intently with those stupid green eyes of his.

“Can you sit down please?”

“Fuck you!”

Five sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. For everything I said. But can you please come here?”

“Why should I?”

“Because I didn’t mean to make you upset. And I don’t want you to go.”

He sounded sincere and it’s possible you had overreacted in the first place. Just one of your lovely personality traits was flying off the handle with little instigation. After some hesitation and a dramatic exhale, you sat back down on the bed next to him. He was still lying on his side and he placed his hand on top of yours.

“Look, I’m not very good at expressing my feelings. A lifetime of isolation will do that to you, so I’m told. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have them. And I’m sorry I accused you of anything. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Your body had relaxed again and you no longer felt as defensive. “Surprised by what?”

Five looked away for a second and then back to you. “Like I said; you’ve got this weird hold on me.”

“What does that even mean?” you asked, wishing you knew how to read him better.

“Take a look.”

“What?”

“Do whatever you do that reads people’s feelings. That way you’ll know what I can’t say in words.”

Your eyebrows creased together and you cocked your head to one side as you studied him. “Are you sure about that? Most people don’t like it. It disarms them. Makes them feel exposed.”

Five nodded. “I’m sure. I trust you.”

After thinking it over, you agreed and you laid down next to Five, facing him. “Ok, here it goes.”

With your eyes closed, you focused on penetrating Five’s consciousness. As you dialed in on his emotions, a golden, sparkling tendril of light started to form in front of you. The more you concentrated, the more it grew, until there was a shimmering strand of gold connecting your mind to Five’s. As soon as the other end of the tendril made contact with his mind, everything came flooding towards you at once. There was a flash of light behind your eyes and then your head was filled with rapidly changing emotions, flipping through your brain at warp speed. You gasped loudly and then you opened your eyes, breaking the golden tendril, watching it disappear into the air. Five had felt nothing and he looked expectedly back at you, waiting for your reaction.

All of his feelings were whirling around inside of you, and they were strong and deep. And very real. Shame, self-blame, regret; those rose to the top. There was anger and fear there, too. But underneath that was love for his family and love for life. And something else that was just for you. A combination of appreciation, hope, and contentment. He felt comfortable with you. He felt a kind of happiness.

“Five,” you whispered as you placed a hand on the side of his face.

“Do you believe me?”

You nodded. “I can’t make you read my emotions, but I can tell you that I feel the same. I feel safe with you. And maybe that’s stupid, but it’s the truth. I like being with you.”

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. You already knew everything. Instead, he rolled you onto your back and kissed you. It wasn’t like before, when you were trying to devour each other. This was soft and passionate, and you ran your fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. You sighed happily when he nuzzled into your neck and whispered your name. You weren’t sure what was happening between the two of you, but it didn’t really matter. There wasn’t much time left anyway, and all you knew was that whatever it was, it felt right.

Chapter Four: Accepting Your Fate

“I swear, if you pour that vodka on that cereal, I am out of here.”

Five looked up at you, holding the bottle of vodka over a giant bowl of cereal, and wearing an irritated expression.

“Oh yeah, and where are you going to go?” he asked with one raised eyebrow and a small smile.

You shrugged and leaned against the counter. “I’m sure Ben would be willing to take me in.”

“Is that what you want to do? Spend the last moments on the planet listening to Ben?”

You shook your head with a smile. “Not really, no. But maybe there won’t be much talking.”

“You’re a bad liar,” Five said pointedly. But he set the bottle down on the counter, looking at you and waiting.

You had gotten your way and you beamed happily in his direction. Then you looked around the large, commercial kitchen of the hotel. “There has to be something else around here besides crappy cereal.”

“Not lobsters,” Five muttered under his breath as he watched you rummage around.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

You poked your head into the fridge. “Ah-ha!” you exclaimed triumphantly as you pulled out a package of cheese. “Perfect. I’ll make us grilled cheese.”

Five made a small noise of approval and let you continue searching for the bread and butter. As you got to work at the stove, he studied your movements. You could feel him watching you even though you were trying to ignore him; until you felt his hands on your hips and the soft exhale of breath on your neck. With the spatula in your hand and raised in the air over the pan, you stopped and closed your eyes, your body apparently not caring that you were in the middle of making food.

“You’re going to make me burn this, you know.” You tried to scold him, but the tremble in your voice gave you away.

“I was fine with my cereal and vodka. The grilled cheese was your idea.”

His voice was quiet next to your ear and his lips brushed your skin. You shivered against him, but you were determined not to let him win. You flipped the sandwich on the pan, happy to see that it was a nice golden brown and not charred black. Five continued to tease you, running his hands up your sides and kissing your shoulder, even as you continued to ignore him. When you were finished, you turned off the stove and stepped back, forcing Five to let go and back away.

Pretending you hadn’t been just seconds away from abandoning the sandwich and jumping him, you pointed to a cupboard.

“Can you find a plate?”

Begrudgingly finding a plate, Five handed it to you and you cut the sandwich in two for the both of you to share. You had to admit, it made a really good midnight snack and being with Five had worked up your appetite. It was even better when you both capped it off with a shot of vodka; and even Five acknowledged it was better than his original use for it. When you were both finished, he stood in front of you, a thoughtful look in his eyes.

“All this time I didn’t think I was hungry, but it turns out I was starving.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh, do you want me to make you another one?”

Five shook his head and smiled, resting his hands on your waist. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh…” was all you could breathe out as he loosely held your chin and tilted your head up.

“I’ve always taken care of myself and I never thought I needed anything or anyone else. But I think I was wrong. Because I like this.”

He kissed you and you let your eyes fall shut. “The sex?” you asked quietly.

“Not just the sex, although that is amazing. It’s all of these other things you’ve done for me. Standing up to my family and defending me, making sure I didn’t drink too much, asking if I’m ok. Making me food. No one has ever done anything like that for me before and I didn’t realize how much I was craving it.”

“Everyone deserves to be taken care of sometimes, Five. I’m sorry it’s taken this long for someone to do it for you. And I’m sorry we don’t have more time, but I’m glad I could at least show you that.”

“Thank you,” he murmured before kissing you again.

When he pulled away, you smiled slyly. “If we go back to our room, I can take care of you in a different way that is even better than grilled cheese.”

“What the hell are we still doing here, then?”

You laughed and dragged him out of the kitchen by his hand, narrowly escaping the hard pinch he was about to give your butt. When you finally made it back to the room, you were feeling light and happy, the looming oppression of the giant fireball outside having been temporarily forgotten.

The two of you were starting to get really good at removing your clothing in a fast and efficient way, and soon you were lying naked on top of Five, kissing him as his hands roamed your body. As you started to move your mouth further down his chest and over his stomach, you felt his muscles tense when he realized what you were doing.

“I can’t let the world end without making sure you experienced another one of my super powers.”

You heard him suck in a breath as you kissed the inside of his thigh. “You might not have anything to compare it to, but trust me when I tell you I give outstanding blow jobs.”

Five made another soft whining noise and you were having fun taking your time. With one hand gripping him loosely, you flicked your tongue lightly across the head of his cock; teasing. He inhaled sharply and you gave another soft lick before slowly moving your hand up and down the shaft. You only took him fully into your mouth one time before pulling back and off again, leaving Five desperate for more. While you leisurely stroked him with your hand again, you looked up at him.

“You know what’s weird? Why is it called a blow job? We’re not blowing anything. It should be called a suck job.”

Five ran a frustrated hand down his face with a groan before placing the same hand on the back of your head. “We can discuss the etiology of the phrase later,” he croaked out.

Your giggles were cut off by a choking noise as Five shoved your face down, giving you no choice but to fill your mouth with the full length of his cock. He moved his hand off your head as you slid your lips up and down; and he groaned loudly again.

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

Even though you wanted to show off your special skill, you still couldn’t resist continuing to tease him. You were too loopy with happiness; it was something you couldn’t even explain. Popping your mouth off of him, you looked up at him with big eyes and a wicked smile.

“You know what else is weird?”

“The fact that you don’t shut up?”

“No. The fact that I can suck your dick and that's fine, but it would be considered really gross if I used your toothbrush to brush my teeth. Weird, right?”

He pushed a hand down his face in frustration. “Well, you’re not sucking my dick right now. So, maybe let’s focus on that and not toothbrush etiquette.”

After another sensual lick up the underside of his shaft, you stopped again. “I just thought of something else…”

With a growl that made you laugh out loud, Five opened his eyes again and looked down at you, his breaths coming fast and hard. “What is wrong with you, woman?”

Before you could get out a sarcastic remark, Five had sat up and flipped you over so that he was pinning you down into the mattress. It had happened so fast you hadn’t seen it coming and you gave a tiny shriek that turned into a laugh until his hand was around your throat. One side of his mouth turned up and his eyes flashed with a dangerous glint.

“Oh, sweetheart. I don’t think you realize who you’re playing with here.”

The grip on your throat wasn’t tight enough to hurt, but it was enough to feel the pressure of his fingers digging into your skin, and you imagined the red marks they would leave in their wake. Your hands clasped onto his forearm, but you didn’t try to push his hand away. Instead, you stared up at him longingly, your lungs burning while you sucked in a hard breath.

His lips met yours with a ferocity you hadn’t seen in him yet, and he pushed his hand harder against your throat. When a strained moan drifted out of your lips, he drew back to look you in the eyes again.

“You need to learn to behave. Hold your wrists out for me.”

His voice was hard and demanding and it made you want to do anything for him with no questions asked. You held your wrists up together in front of you while you laid beneath him on the bed. He released his hold on your neck and sat back on his knees.

He picked his discarded tie off the floor next to the bed. The black silk was soft against your skin as he wrapped it around each wrist and tied it securely together in the middle. He obviously knew what he was doing and there would be no escaping this particular knot, no matter how hard you struggled against it.

After one hard kiss, sucking at your bottom lip as he pulled away, you saw pure lust flicker over his eyes; right before he flipped you over onto your stomach. With a hard pull backwards, his strong hands grasping at your hips, you were at his mercy as he rubbed his hard length along the warm, wet crease between your legs. The long, shaky whine you let out was muffled by the curtain of hair that fell around your face as you propped yourself up on your forearms. With your wrists tied together, you had little control over your body and you found yourself eagerly relinquishing all of your power to Five.

He was completely and wholly in charge of you, and you made sure he knew it by pressing your ass back into him and sighing softly, fully submitting to whatever he wanted. His hand passed between your shoulder blades and slowly down your back. You could feel the heat from his fingers on your skin and you imagined them burning long, red lines down your spine; branding you as his own. And in that moment, you were undeniably his.

His body covered yours, his chest pressed against your back as he held himself over you. He kissed your neck and your hair, rocking his hips into you so you could feel him hard and ready for you.

“You showed me that you want this,” he whispered. “But I need you to tell me it’s ok. Because I’m not going to hold back.”

You shook your head with a smile and looked over your shoulder, your hair still in your face. “Don’t hold back. I want everything you can give me.”

He was nuzzling into your hair, rubbing his cheek and nose over what was probably a tangled mess by now, and he made a quiet, happy humming noise before holding himself up with one hand as he pushed your hair to one side of your neck. Leaning in, his lips brushed feather-light across your shoulder. Then you heard the danger in his voice again, as his mouth grazed the skin next to your ear.

“Be a good girl for me, ok sweetheart? Just relax and give me what I want. And then after I’m through using you like the little fuck doll you are, I promise to make it feel so good for you.”

He pressed himself against you again, letting his thick cock nestle between your ass cheeks, and he let out a moan when he slid it back and forth a few times. The feeling made you push back against him harder, your head down and your ass in the air, whining like a cat in heat. Five chuckled darkly at your reaction.

“Look how desperate you are. And I seriously thought about fucking you in the ass, because we both know you want it.”

Five sat up on his knees behind you, pulling your hips back against his thighs, his cock still buried in your ass crack. His hand lovingly smoothed your hair and caressed your back, even as he talked in that sinister voice of his.

“But then I realized we don’t have the proper accessories handy, and even if you would let me just to please me, I don’t want to hurt you. So, while I would love to bury my dick deep inside your tight little asshole, we’re going to have to do that another time.”

He drew back, rubbing your backside with both hands before hauling back and smacking you hard on one cheek and then the other. You cried out and clenched your eyes shut, but it wasn’t from the pain or the surprise. It was because you loved it, and you wanted more.

This was one of the fantasies you had placed in Five’s mind earlier. You wanted to be dominated and used; fucked into the mattress and then praised for your good behavior. And he was right, you probably would have let him fuck your ass raw, because you knew how to behave and take it. You wanted to show him you could be a good girl for him.

His hands grabbed your tits roughly, and he jerked you up and backwards so that you were on your knees in front of him, your back flush against his chest. You could feel the rapid rise and fall of his body as he breathed hard into the crook of your neck, the muscles in your back burning with the way he was pulling you into him. But when he started to suck another deep bruise onto the side of your neck, you let your head fall to the side to make more room. The only thing holding you up were his hands on your breasts, massaging and squeezing them together, the tendons in his forearms tight as he held your weight against him. If he let go, you’d have no way to catch yourself, since your hands were still bound together.

The cry from deep in your throat was strangled and broken as you felt his teeth scrape sharply across the tender mark he had made on your neck. He moved you over slightly so that you were sitting on his thigh.

“God, you’re so fucking wet for me,” he groaned.

When you started to grind yourself onto his leg, unable to help yourself, he moved one arm down so that he was holding you around the front of your waist, keeping you still. His other arm stayed wrapped around your chest.

“I know you’re aching to get some relief, and I can feel you dripping down my leg, but you have to be good and stay still. Understand?”

Everything between your legs was engorged and throbbing, and you did want relief more than anything. But you nodded your head with a quiet whimper.

He kissed your shoulder again. “My good girl,” he murmured.

When he shoved you off of his leg, letting go of his hold on you, you fell ungracefully forward, landing on the side of your face until you could get your arms under you again. It was hard to see behind you, even if you craned your neck, but you could feel his hands on your hips, fingers digging hard into your flesh, as Five positioned you where he wanted you.

The seconds seemed to drag on forever as you waited, unmoving; the only sounds were your ragged breathing. When he used his knees to shove your legs further apart and you felt his hips against you, you held your breath in anticipation.

Then he was slowly and deliberately pushing inside of you, until he was as deep as possible, holding himself there as he listened to your desperate moans. His body was on top of you again, pushing you down, almost flat against the mattress, so that he could thrust into you while his mouth had access to your shoulders and neck. You squeezed your eyes shut, using all your strength to keep yourself propped up on your forearms as one of his arms wrapped around your upper body and the other held himself up for leverage. He gave one hard, violent thrust into you, pushing you forward. He paused, just long enough to leave you waiting, before ramming into you once again. 

"Fuck, yes..." you heard him murmur before he shoved himself into you again. "Just lie still, honey, that's it."

You couldn't have moved, even if you wanted to, as he pinned you down from behind. It was uncomfortable and scary, letting him have this much control, but you fucking loved every second of it.

“You take my dick so well. Just like that, baby. You’re doing so good for me, I know that perfect cunt of yours can take more,” he rasped.

Five continued to fuck into you, methodically and forcefully, pulling back slowly and slamming hard inside again. With each thrust, you could hear his rough, staccato grunts and feel his hissing breath against your skin. The sounds you were making were desperate and pained; the deep penetration of his cock only half of what you needed from him. But Five refused to give you any satisfaction in the way of his fingers. All of his focus was on his needs and how far he could push your limits.

“You feel so amazing…fuck! Do you even know how fucking good you feel? Only you could make me this hard.” He pushed violently into you again and you let out a pathetic cry.

“Please,” you begged, not even really sure if you were begging for him to stop or to give you more.

“Shh…you’re doing so well for me, baby doll. I’m so proud of you. Just a little longer, ok, sweet girl?” he praised, kissing your temple sweetly even as he rammed into you from behind. His groan vibrated against your skin. “God damn it, I could keep fucking you forever, you feel so good.”

But his thrusts started to come faster, and his chest was heaving on top of you as he let out a long and husky growl into the back of your neck, muffling it with your hair. He filled you up with his hot seed until he was fully spent; arms shaking as he climbed off of you. When you started to push yourself up, assuming he was going to let you, he pushed you back down until you were flat on your stomach once more.

“Stay right there, sweetheart. You did such a good job for me and I know you’re so close. Let me take care of you now.”

He pushed his hand between your legs from behind, putting pressure right where you had been missing, and you let out a loud scream just from the relief of it. As he pressed into your clit, you couldn’t help moving your hips against him so you were riding his hand.

“That’s right, keep going. Let me hear you, baby. Louder.”

He kept at it, his hand wet and sticky from his own cum that was spilling out of you. You sobbed and screamed his name until a long-awaited orgasm ripped through your body, leaving you a crying, shaking mess. Your hips gave a few more involuntary twitches before you finally collapsed into the bed again; limp and gasping for air. Five wiped his hand on the bedsheet and undid the tie around your wrists. Then he helped you turn over so you were looking up at him on your back, still trying to catch your breath.

“Was that good for you?” he asked, his eyebrows creased together in sincerity like he was waiting for his end-of-the-quarter performance review. “Is that what you wanted?”

You couldn’t help but laugh up at him. “Jesus Christ, Five! That was fucking amazing! You couldn’t tell?”

He was still looking worried and unsure and you sighed heavily, still smiling and shaking your head. “Seriously, if I could, I’d give you a glowing Yelp review. Five out of five wet vaginas…would come here again.”

That smug smile returned to his face and he leaned down to kiss you. “I’m kind of liking that smart-ass mouth of yours. It’s pretty cute.”

“That’s good. Because it’s the only one I have.”

Just as Five was helping you sit up, there was a loud knock on the door and you both jumped. He looked at you, questioningly, but you just shrugged your shoulders. It’s not like housekeeping was going to be stopping by.

The knock came again, this time louder and more insistent. Then you could both hear muffled voices outside, sounding like people were arguing.

“Fuck,” Five muttered under his breath as he angrily swiped his boxer briefs from the floor and yanked them on. “Fucking fuck fuckers…”

You watched as Five stormed over to the door and swung it open, his face twisted into a murderous rage. The three men standing outside looked suddenly scared and they stopped talking immediately. Klaus, Diego, and Luther glanced nervously at one another as Five seethed in front of them.

“What? What are you assholes doing here? And how did you even find me?”

More glances were exchanged and then Luther’s voice cracked. “Well, we, uh…we kind of heard some loud noises, so then we followed them, and, you know, we may have heard your name a couple times, so-”

Diego cut him off with a knowing smile, holding out his hand for a fist bump. “Seriously dude, I’m super impressed. Nice job, old man.”

The look on Five’s face did nothing to deter Diego, despite the fact that he was in immediate danger of losing his life. Klaus was more in tune to his brother’s wrath, and slowly lowered Diego’s hand before Five completely snapped.

“Look, we felt bad about how we left things, and we wanted to talk. That’s all,” Klaus explained.

“I don’t feel bad. I said what I said. There’s nothing to talk about,” Five barked back.

Luther sighed. “Please, Five, come on. We’re sorry. And we don’t want things to end like that.”

“Please, Fivey?

“Please, what? What do you want from me?”

“We just want to talk to you, ok? Can you at least just give us a couple minutes? That’s all we’re asking,” Diego said, suddenly very sincere.

Five sighed heavily and closed his eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Since I know you’ll just keep annoying me.”

Klaus made a move to step into the room, but Five immediately stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Absolutely not. You idiots can wait in the hallway. Give me five minutes.”

Klaus shrunk back into the hall, looking like a kicked puppy, while Luther rolled his eyes. But they stayed where they were. Five was about to close the door when Diego cried out.

“Wait, Five!”

Five paused and Diego took a step closer, leaning his head in and talking in a low voice as if no one else around him could hear.

“I’ve never heard Lila make noises like that. What’s your secret? Is there like a trick or a secret move you can teach me-“ he was cut off as Five slammed the door directly in his face.

“Fucking. Idiots.” Five raged under his breath, his hands clenched into tight fists.

You were still sitting in the bed, a sheet covering your body, as you stared at Five with wide eyes.

“Are you ok? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” you said with a nervous laugh, but not really joking.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled while he walked around, picking up the various parts of his suit off the floor.

You watched him quietly, not daring to say anything, as he stormed into the bathroom and shut the door. A few minutes later, he emerged, dressed in his full suit again, and he adjusted his tie. The confused look on your face must have said it all, because when he looked at you, he just shrugged and pulled the cuffs of his shirt down.

“I can think better like this,” he said gruffly.

“Ok…” your voice trailed off and you weren’t sure what else to say. The arrival of his brothers had thrown him into a weird mood and you weren’t sure how to navigate it.

“Wait here,” he said sharply.

Before you could snap back at him and tell him to quit talking to you like that, he disappeared in a flash of blue. With a huff, you got up, pulling your underwear on and walked to the door so you could eavesdrop. You could also peer out the peephole in the door, watching the four men as they stood in the hall looking anxious.

“Alright, I’m here. Talk,” Five demanded, his hands shoved into his pants pockets while he waited for one of the others to respond.

“Five, we’re sorry. We thought about what you said earlier, and you’re right. We have been unfair to you and we wanted to apologize. Before…you know…there’s no more time left,” Luther started.

“And we don’t blame you for everything that’s happened. Well, at least not anymore. It’s just that there’s been a lot of crazy, shitty things that have happened to us, and you did seem to be in the middle of it, and-“

Klaus cut Diego off. “What Diego means is that even though this may not be the most ideal situation we’re in right now; we know it’s not your fault.”

“Great. You apologized. Are we done here?”

You could see that Five was still staring them down, his body tense and the muscles in his jaw working.

Luther sighed. “Come on, Five, don’t be like that. We’re family. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Five strode angrily over to Luther and glared up at him, his teeth clenched. “It used to. Until I woke up and realized we were never a family to begin with, and I spent my entire life trying to save you shitheads for no reason. Because look where it got us! Right back with Dad in another fucking timeline with the world ending again. And I can’t do a god damn thing to stop it!”

His words seemed to shock him as much as the rest of them, and he took a step back, his body relaxing slightly.

“Is that what this is really about? You think you need to save us?” Klaus asked.

Five didn’t answer, but his face had lost the rigidity and sternness that it had before. It was hard to make out from the door, but he looked sad and your heart broke just a little.

“Five, you did save us. You saved us as many times as you could. It’s just that the universe had different plans, that’s all,” Diego offered.

Five raised his head and looked up, then back at his brothers. “I tried. I tried and I failed. So, this is it and we just have to accept that.” He looked at Klaus. “I know you want me to believe that this version of Dad is a better version and we should trust him. But that’s not going to happen, Klaus, I’m sorry. He’s not interested in our safety, or our wellbeing, or our happiness. He never has been.”

Klaus looked down sadly, but he nodded his head and Diego turned to Five.

“Some of us are staying. But we’re going to stay together, and we want you to come with us. Because we are a family. Even if we’re the most fucked up family on what’s left of this planet.”

“But Dad is still trying to convince everyone, and he said he only needs two more. So, that’s still an option if you change your mind. The rest of us, we’ll be in the lobby at the bar, drinking what’s left of the booze and waiting out the end. And we’d love for you to join us,” Luther told him.

Five nodded solemnly and was about to explain that he was happy where he was, but then Luther continued.

“I know it’s none of my business, and I’m truly happy that you found someone to spend the rest of this time with. But you’re not being fair. She deserves to know that she has a choice. You can’t make that decision for her.”

Five glanced back at the door, and you flinched, thinking he could see you through the peephole, but of course he couldn’t. Then he turned back to his brothers.

“Don’t worry about me or her, we’re doing fine. Which is why I’m going to stay here. I won’t be joining you, I’m sorry.”

The brothers looked sad as they stood there, not saying anything, and the air hanging heavy with their words. Finally, Diego spoke.

“Alright, man, I get it. We’ll leave you alone. But just know that you are our brother. And we love you.”

Luther and Klaus nodded in agreement and Five tried his best to look angry again, but failed. He hung his head and shook it slowly before raising it again.

“Yeah, ok. I love you assholes, too, I guess. Now leave and go back to your wives and girlfriends and long-lost asshole brothers. It’s been…an interesting life together.”

There was a flurry of shoulder claps and hair ruffling and side-hugs and then the other three were on their way, leaving Five standing in the hallway alone. You didn’t want him to know you’d been listening when he came back in, so you hurried off into the bathroom to take a shower. While you were in there, you thought about everything you had heard. You were glad he had made amends with his brothers. But you wondered what Luther was talking about when he said Five needed to tell you about a choice you had.

When you were finished, you threw on the same clothes you’d been wearing, and you found Five sitting on the bed. He was in just his dress shirt and pants again, with his shirt sleeves rolled up. He smiled sheepishly when he saw you.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi. You better now?” you asked sharply.

He nodded. “I know I wasn’t very nice to you just then. So, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.”

“I also need to tell you something.”

“Yeah, ok, what is it?” You folded your arms over your chest defensively, but then Five patted the bed next to him and you went and sat down.

Five took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you. Well, not that I’ve lied, but more like I’ve withheld some information from you.”

You raised your eyebrows but didn’t comment. Five cleared his throat and continued.

“The truth is, you don’t have to stay here and wait for the world to end. At least theoretically.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know when Reginald mentioned Project Oblivion to you?” You nodded. ���That’s his hare-brained scheme that could potentially be a way of saving the world.”

When you looked shocked, he held up a hand. “Don’t get too excited. Anything having to do with Reginald should be considered dangerous and he is most likely using us for his own selfish agenda. That’s how it’s always been.”

“But what is his plan?”

Five sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know exactly. But it entails going through some sort of portal into another dimension; another version of this hotel. But there’s more to it than that and we could end up just as dead.”

You frowned. “But we’re going to die here for sure if we stay. If there’s even a chance, why wouldn’t you at least try? If you die there, what’s the difference?”

Five looked at you with so much sadness and sorrow in his eyes, that you didn’t need to tap into his mind to read his emotions.

“Because I don’t want this to be his decision. I want it to be mine. If I go along with him, and I die at his hands, then he will have won again. But if I stay and accept my fate; then at least I’ll have died free from his control.”

He reached over and took your hands in his. “You don’t have to stay here with me, though. I want you to know that. It was unfair of me to have waited this long to tell you. And I would understand if you decided to go.”

You nodded thoughtfully, looking down at your hands that were clasped together. It seemed like a no-brainer. Why wouldn’t you take a chance if it meant there was a possibility, no matter how small, that you didn’t have to die in a fiery apocalypse? But you barely knew his siblings, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were still afraid of Reginald. You hadn’t known Five long at all, but somehow you trusted him. And when you looked into his eyes, you decided to accept your own fate.

“I’m staying with you.”

He looked stunned. “You want to stay here with me? Are you sure?”

You smiled sadly and nodded. “Yes, I trust you, Five. And I don’t trust your father. So, wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be.”

With a huge sigh of relief, Five leaned in to kiss you, squeezing your hands tighter in his own.

“Ok, then. We’ll do this together.”

When the tiredness hit you both, you laid down on the bed, Five holding you from behind. He pulled you in close to him and wrapped his arms around your middle. You hadn’t realized how exhausted you were and the feeling of his body against yours put you at ease; your muscles relaxing and melting into him as you closed your heavy eyelids.

“Thank you,” Five murmured sleepily. “Thank you for staying. I don’t want to be alone.”

You wiggled back into him and he tightened his hold on you. “I don’t want to be alone, either,” you said quietly.

In another minute, you were both asleep, with Five holding you in his strong embrace; the rise and fall of his chest already so familiar to you that you wondered how you ever slept without it before.

Chapter Five: Stay/Epilogue

You woke up with a sudden jolt, looking around for something that may have woken you. But all that you could see was the orange blaze from outside of the window. It was brighter now and lit up the whole room with a sinister, flickering glow. In another circumstance it may have looked pretty, like a fireplace or candlelight. But now it just looked like hell.

When you realized you were still alive, at least for the time being, you looked next to you in the bed. Five was gone. You called out his name, but there was no answer and he wasn’t in the bathroom. There was also no note left on the table. He was just gone. And you started to panic.

Scrambling out of bed, you threw on your shorts and t-shirt, trying to remain as calm as possible. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest and your pulse was deafening in your ears. As your hand turned the doorknob to leave, you took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to steady your nerves.

You decided to take the stairs rather than the elevator, peeking down each floor’s empty and silent hallway on the way down. When you reached the lobby, it was just as you feared. There was no one. You had overheard the others say they were going to camp out in the lobby bar, but there was no sign of them. Maybe they had moved the party into another room, but something in the back of your mind told you that wasn’t the case.

Swallowing down the rising panic you felt creeping up your throat, you continued to look around. You couldn’t hear anyone talking in the distance or even footsteps. It was eerily quiet and you found yourself tiptoeing in your bare feet, not wanting to miss any noises. This was it, you were sure of it. Everyone else had been sucked up or destroyed or whatever by the kugelblitz. And you were the last one left. It was your worst nightmare coming true.

When you were just about to give up and crumble to the floor in despair, you turned a corner into a large game room. You hadn’t known it was there, but there was another pool table inside, identical to the one in the lobby. There were also dart boards and smaller tables for playing cards. There was a very large picture window that lined one wall and looked out onto the courtyard. Or at least, it would have if the courtyard still existed.

That’s where you found him. He was silhouetted against the window, his body backlit by the orange and red fireball outside, his back to you. When you saw him, the immense relief you felt washed over you, mixing with your fear and anger until you exploded in a sudden rage.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, your voice trembling and the tears already spilling over.

Five whirled around to see you doubled over, face shiny and wet, as you clutched at your stomach and leaned into the side of the pool table for support. You continued to scream, even though your choking sobs were making everything unintelligible.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, I THOUGHT..."

Five blinked over to you, grabbing you by the arms to hold you up, but you just collapsed into his chest, sobbing harder. You felt his hand on your head, stroking your hair while he held you to him. He may have been saying something to you, maybe that he was sorry, but you couldn’t hear him. You could only hear your own wailing cries and the blood pounding in your ears. After several minutes, when the crying eventually faded to hiccups and your breathing started to slow again, you wiped at your face but continued to let Five hold you.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” he murmured as he kissed the top of your head.

You nodded miserably into his chest, still not looking up. “I was so scared. I thought I was the only one left.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep so I came down here and it didn’t even occur to me that you would wake up and think I was gone.”

Your hands grasped at his shoulders and he pulled you in tighter. “Don’t leave me again. Please.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

You exhaled a long, shaky breath; a few silent tears still slipping down your cheeks and onto his shirt. “I just don’t want to be alone when it happens.”

“Look at me,” he said softly, and you finally raised your head. You let go of his shoulders and he took your hands in his. “I promise I will never leave you again. We’ll go out together, ok? We’re a team now.”

You nodded your head again. “Yeah, ok.”

When he started to pull away, you grabbed onto his belt loops on either side of his waist and tugged him towards you. “Don’t leave.”

Five smiled down at you and brushed away the strands of hair that were sticking to your face. “I wasn’t going to leave.”

“No, I need you close to me. Please,” you whined.

It was pathetic and there’s no way in hell the old you would have ever begged a man to stay like that. But that was then and this was now, and things were different. You were different. And you didn’t care how you sounded.

“Ok,” Five answered quietly as he wrapped his arms around you.

But that still wasn’t enough and you pulled his face to yours with a hand on his neck, kissing him slowly at first but then starting to hungrily devour him. You were making desperate little whimpering noises into his mouth as you grabbed onto his body, pulling and clutching at him, even though there was nowhere else to go. He was as close to you as physically possible.

“You’re upset, maybe we shouldn’t…” he offered.

He was cut off when you reached between his legs and cupped his groin, feeling him grow harder against your hand as you rubbed him firmly. He let out a quiet moan and his eyes closed.

“I need you, Five. Please.”

You were practically in tears again with desperation. It was unhealthy and probably for all the wrong reasons, but you couldn’t help it. You needed as much of him as possible and as quickly as possible. It was the only way to feel ok again.

“I just think maybe you’ve been through a lot recently-“

Smothering him in hard kisses to shut him up, you stopped briefly to pull your shirt over your head, throwing it on the floor before undoing your shorts and letting them fall off of you. Five looked down at your body and let out a low groan.

“Shit,” he breathed out. “You’re not playing fair.”

He grabbed onto you, boosting you up onto the side of the pool table and stood between your legs. He was just as desperate for you now, but he backed away a couple inches and placed his hands on your shoulders so you would pay attention to him.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

You shook your head, already not liking the fact that his body wasn’t against yours. “You’re not. I promise.”

It only took one look at your naked body and the hungry look on your face to convince him and he let you grab his shirt collar and pull him forcefully into you. You needed to feel his body on you, to feel his hot skin against you, and you desperately clawed at each button of his shirt until you pushed it down his arms and yanked the rest of it off. He kissed you with one hand in your hair and the other massaging your breast as you fumbled with the fly of his pants, finally gaining access and pushing them down his thighs.

When you grasped tightly to his firm cock and slid your hand over it, Five sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth and threw his head back. You moved forward a little, spreading your legs and guiding him inside. You were already soaking wet and he slid in with ease, pushing himself into you as you thrust your hips forward.

His mouth was on your neck as he slammed hard against you, shoving himself as far into you as he could manage while holding tightly to your hips.

You were delirious in your desire for him, not even making any sense as you scratched desperately at his back and shoulders, his arms and neck; pleading with him to give you more. There was no way he could be closer to you, with his mouth on your skin, his arms clinging tightly to your body, and his dick deep inside you. But it wasn’t enough. The tears were falling down your face again, mixing with the sweet taste of his lips.

He gradually slowed his pace, gently rolling his hips into you as his eyes locked onto yours and he wiped away a tear with his thumb.

“It’s ok, sweetheart, I’m here. You’re not alone, ok?”

When he called you sweetheart, it carried none of the teasing or derisiveness it had before. This time it was sincere and loving and you nodded, your body finally starting to relax a little and you let yourself give in; melting into him as he kissed you. But then your gaze drifted to the windows and he saw the fear in your eyes again.

“Look at me,” he said, turning your face back to him. “Focus on me. Can you feel that?”

Five thrust himself slowly but forcibly into you and you let out a breathy cry. Your body reacted and you pushed your hips into him again, letting go of his body and placing your hands behind you on the table to brace yourself.

“Yeah…it feels good,” you answered quietly, still maintaining eye contact.

“Then just focus on that. There’s nothing else, and you feel so good right now, baby.”

His hands grasped your hips tightly and you put all of your focus on him and the way he was making you feel.

“Five,” you sighed as your head fell back and your eyes closed. You felt his lips on your neck again and your legs wrapped tightly around him. “Keep talking. I want to hear your voice.”

He pressed into you harder, his movements deliberate while his breath was harsh and loud. You emitted a soft cry every time he rocked into you.

“I don’t need anything else. Just you. Only you.”

“Tell me you’ll stay.”

“I promise. I’m not going to leave you.”

Five’s hand was gripping your upper thigh while the other was around your lower back, holding you in place as he penetrated you harder and faster. His mouth was greedily sucking at your neck and jaw as he started to lose his control, pushing roughly into you as you used all your strength to brace yourself against the impact. It was blissful, this building feeling inside; how he knew just where and when to fuck into you, over and over again. You couldn’t get enough of his insistent kisses or passionate moans and it made you feel good; like you were high. And you wanted to keep that feeling with you forever.

“Oh god, Five…I want to be all yours. I want to belong to you.”

“You are mine, sweetheart. And I’m yours. And there’s no one else.”

He let out a shuddering groan as he came inside of you, the final thrust of his hips setting off a series of waves that spread over your body as you climaxed with him. Your entire body seemed to curl into him as your muscles spasmed and you moaned desperately into the crook of his neck, your fingers weaving tightly in his hair.

When you were both able to unfurl from each other, you smiled shyly at him and blushed. It was embarrassing, the way you had acted. But Five’s smile back at you was not mocking in any way and he kissed you gently before helping you down from the table.

“Are you ok?” he asked, his hands resting loosely on your hips.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I’m sorry…I don’t-“

“Don’t apologize, ok? You have nothing to be sorry for. And I meant everything I said.”

Even though you weren’t entirely convinced of that, you let it go and started to get dressed. After Five had put his pants back on, you both looked at each other and then to the terrifying fireball that filled the entire wall of windows.

“Can we go back now?” you asked nervously.

Not that it mattered where you went; no area of the hotel was safer than any other. But for whatever reason, the little homebase you and Five had made on the third floor felt safer. And you wanted to go back before you felt another panic attack creeping in.

Five nodded. “Come on, let’s go.”

Throwing his shirt on, but leaving it unbuttoned, he held your hand as you walked through the empty hotel lobby. You noticed his concerned glance to the bar area.

“Where are they?” you asked.

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. It’s possible they all went off with my father after all. Or maybe they decided to go back to their rooms.”

“Well, do you want to go look for them?”

He hesitated and shook his head again. “No, we said what we needed to. What’s done is done. There’s nothing more I can do.”

It wasn’t your place to say, so you offered nothing else besides a supportive squeeze of his hand. You didn’t think it was right for him to just give up that easily. Shouldn’t he at least make sure they were ok? But then again, you were the outsider here. You really had no idea of what they had been through as a family.

Once you were back in the room, you breathed a sigh of relief. You were ready to snuggle back into bed and go back to sleep, but Five was obviously agitated. He kept pacing the room, unable to relax and he had shut down again; not wanting to talk about anything.

“Five,” you started hesitantly. “It’s ok if you want to make sure they’re alright.”

He stopped pacing momentarily to look at you, then continued with his head down and his hands balled into fists. “There’s no point, I told you. There’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing anyone can do. If they’re gone, they’re gone. End of story.”

“Ok, yeah…I get that. But you’re obviously very upset and maybe it would just make you feel better if you found out for sure. Don’t you think so?”

Five halted again, his face screwed up in concentration and he let out a loud, frustrated groan, throwing his hands in the air. “Nothing but aggravation!”

You frowned with confusion. “What?”

When he faced you, you could see the muscles straining in his neck as he finally unleashed what he’d been stewing about.

“Them! All of them! My entire life…nothing but aggravation from them! Here we are, with probably hours left in this universe, and they decide to just fuck off with no explanation?! After everything was done. We had closure. It was final. But do you think these assholes can keep things simple? Of course not! Now I’m going to have to traipse all over this god damn hotel looking for them because they can’t just stay in one spot and leave me the fuck alone!”

You had to bite your lip to stop from laughing. But you composed yourself and spoke calmly.

“Five, I heard you and your brothers talking earlier.”

“You did?”

“Yes. And I’m sorry I eavesdropped, but I did hear what you said and I know you care for them. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t find out what happened.”

“It doesn’t matter whether I forgive myself or not. The world is ending any moment now, so what’s the difference?”

You cocked your head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Just go. I’ll be ok.”

He shook his head. “No. I told you I wasn’t going to leave you again. I meant it.”

“It’s ok, really. I know you’ll be back. This is something you need to do by yourself, I don’t need to be involved.”

He looked at you thoughtfully. “I think I know where they are. Or least where they were. The White Buffalo Suite. I’m sure of it.”

You really didn’t want him to leave you, but he had already done so much for you. He was your protector when he had no reason to be. You felt that you owed him.

“Then, please, just go,” you insisted, making sure he was looking you in the eye.

Finally, he nodded slowly. “Ok. But I promise I will be back.”

“I know you will.”

He crossed the room to you, placing his hands on either side of your face and tilting your head up to look at him.

“I meant it, you know. I only want you. And I’ll be back; I won’t leave you.”

You blinked back the tears you felt forming again and swallowed the lump in your throat. But you knew he was telling the truth.

“I believe you. And I’ll be here when you get back.”

Without another word, he kissed you, and then he was gone; vanished in a blur of sizzling blue. You were alone.

The next half hour was anxiety-inducing. You had wanted Five to leave to find his family, you really did. But that didn’t ease the feeling of impending death that lingered in the air. You crawled into bed, lying down and covering yourself with the sheets, breathing in the scent that Five had left behind. It made your body ache to not have him near you, and you choked back the sobs you felt forming in your chest. It was so stupid. You weren’t a child. You could certainly be alone for an hour or two. But no matter what you told yourself, you were frozen with fear, listening for any sign that Five might be returning; the loud hiss and rumble of the kugelblitz outside a constant reminder of what precious time you had left.

The knock on the door made you jump and you sat up, thinking maybe you were just imagining things. But then it came again. Another knock; a clear and precise rapping that was most definitely real. You leaped out of the bed, not even thinking. You assumed it was Five and the thought hadn’t even occurred to you that he wouldn’t have knocked. He would have just blinked in like every other time.

Without looking through the peephole, you opened the door with a smile. But your smile fell immediately when you realized your mistake. Standing in front of you was none other than Reginald Hargreeves; hands clasped in front of him and an arrogant smile on his face. You gasped and took a step back.

“Hello, my dear. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

He looked over your shoulder and seeing that the room was empty, he took a step forward. That same fear that had gripped you when he approached you at the wedding washed over you and you were frozen in place.

“There’s no need to be frightened, child. I’m looking for Number Five. Is he here?”

You shook your head, unable to speak and Reginald chuckled.

“Do you know where he may have gone? I’m afraid it’s an urgent matter. As all things are these days.”

Finally, you found your voice. It was quiet and shaky, but you stood your ground and raised your head to face the man that terrified you. There was no way in hell you were about to tell him where Five was.

“I have no idea where he is. I haven’t seen him since the wedding. It’s just been me here.”

Reginald nodded solemnly, still wearing that knowing, half smile of his. You saw his gaze drift past you and land on the floor where Five’s suit jacket and tie had been left. He looked back at you, and his eyes narrowed just a little.

“I see. Well, no worries. I wanted to speak with you, as well.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. It’s a shame that you have been raised to believe you have such limits to your abilities. Had you been under my supervision, your powers would be stronger than you could have even imagined. I’m sorry your parents never taught you any different.”

“Don’t talk about my parents,” you seethed through clenched teeth. “I know what you tried to do. Buy me from them so you could raise me along with your other neglected children. Thank god they were smarter than that.”

“You misunderstand, my dear. I only want to see you reach your full potential.”

“Like you did with Five? He’s a fucking disaster, and it’s all because of you!”

Reginald shook his head sadly. “Number Five does have problems, I will admit. However, that was not I that raised him. That was a different, harsher, version of myself. I have nothing but respect and admiration for my current children.”

You snorted sarcastically. “Yeah, right.”

During your back and forth with Reginald, you hadn’t realized that he had taken several more steps and was now fully inside your room. He closed the door behind him with an ominous click and you backed up, even more frightened than you had been.

“The truth is, I am in need of more of you. I need your powers to save us. To save the world. I don’t wish to harm you; you must believe me. I only want to give all of us a chance.”

Your brow was furrowed with confusion. You certainly didn’t trust the man. But what he was saying was just what you had thought earlier when Five told you about Project Oblivion. If there was even a chance of survival, why wouldn’t you take it?

“I don’t believe you. Why should I trust you?”

Reginald smiled genially. “Why don’t you look for yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Read my emotions. I know that you can. Then you will see that I’m not the terrible person you think I am.”

You scoffed, but didn’t say anything. You had to think. On one hand, you absolutely did not trust him. On the other, what was there to lose? You knew for a fact that no one could hide their true feelings from you once you were connected to their consciousness. It would be impossible for them to lie. So, you really didn’t see what the downside would be. You would either see that he was telling the truth, or that he was lying just like you suspected.

“Alright,” you stated, holding your head up high.

“Excellent,” Reginald grinned happily.

You concentrated as hard as you could. The golden tendrils emerged and started growing, heading straight for Reginald’s mind. Once they reached him, you closed your eyes and looked deep within him. You searched for his emotions and his true intentions. But there was nothing. Just darkness. Something wasn’t right. This wasn’t possible. He couldn’t hide anything from you. That’s not how this worked.

You heard him laugh quietly and sinisterly, while you remained connected to him.

“My dear…I thought you were smarter than that. I created you. I can control you.”

The sudden pain was searing as it ripped through your brain, your skull, and your entire body. Like lightning, it coursed through you, sending you dropping to your knees. You clutched your head, screaming in agony as the white-hot light pierced your eyes. The golden tendrils that connected your mind to Reginald’s pulsed and wavered in the air between you, but you couldn’t break them. He held you there, in complete control of your body and mind. You had been so stupid not to have realized what he was capable of.

Reginald stepped closer to you, eyeing you while you writhed on the ground. His voice was like fire as he spoke, the vibrations traveling through the tendrils and directly into the cells and neurons of your brain.

“I’m sorry; truly I am. You have quite the gift, and it’s a shame to have to do this. But I have no alternative, I’m afraid. My ungrateful children seem to have forsaken me, and I need a replacement, you see. I need you. Both of you.”

It was hard to breathe and you curled into yourself on the floor, gasping for air as tears rolled down your cheeks. It was useless to try and fight back. You had tried to break the connection and it was impossible. He was too strong. No matter what you did, he held on, the pain screaming through your body as he stood over you.

“I can stop this, you know. All you have to do is come with me. And the pain will go away.”

The action of forming words and expelling air from your lungs was excruciating, but you gathered all the strength you had left.

“F-fuck…you!” you cried, your voice grating with pain.

You heard him laugh darkly, and another sharp pain shot through your skull. “So spirited. How about you just tell me where Number Five is, then? I know he wouldn’t have left you. He pretends to be a hardened old man like myself, but I’m guessing he’s quite fond of you.”

“I don’t…know…” you sobbed, holding your head in your hands.

With another menacing step forward, Reginald stood directly over you, staring down at your twisting body. You couldn’t see his face, but you heard his voice echoing in your ears and your brain.

“You’ve made a grave mistake, I’m afraid,” he threatened.

As another bolt of lightning shot through you, this one somehow hotter and more painful than the last, you were only partially aware of what was happening outside of your body. There was a faint flash of blue light and you heard your name in the distance. There was an angry yell, and then you saw Reginald’s body drop onto the floor in front of you, his head lying limply to the side and the monocle dropping from his eye.

His neck had been snapped and his eyes stared forward, devoid of life. The pain that had been constant and pulsing inside of you suddenly ceased. With a small whimpering sound, you looked up and saw the silhouette of Five kneeling next to you. You couldn’t speak and it was still hard to breathe, but right before you passed out you heard him tell you it was going to be ok, and he held your head in his lap; the shadow of his face falling over yours as he softly kissed your forehead.

You weren’t sure how long you were blacked out, but when you woke up you were lying down in the bed, your body tingling and your head still aching.  But your lungs no longer burned and you could think clearly again. Someone was lightly stroking your hair and when your eyes fluttered open, the first thing you saw was Five.

He must have moved you to the bed, and he was sitting up against the headboard with your head in his lap again. His head was tipped back and his eyes were closed. But his fingers still carded lightly through your hair and you had a feeling he had been sitting with you for a while.

When you moved and started to lift yourself up, Five startled awake, disoriented at first, until he looked down and saw you awake. His face flooded with relief and he let out a heavy exhale.

“You’re awake,” he breathed out.

You sat up slowly, your head still foggy and your muscles aching. Then the memory of everything that happened came flooding back and you let out a loud gasp, whipping around to look at the spot on the floor where you had been tortured and you had seen Reginald’s dead body. The space was empty. As if nothing unusual had ever occurred there.

Five placed a hand on your arm. “It’s ok. He’s gone.”

When you turned back to him, you saw for the first time how tired he looked. And there was something else. A deep sadness that hadn’t been there before.

“He was in my head…I don’t know how…it was horrible…” you started to say, unable to fully understand everything that happened.

Five pulled you into him, holding you against his chest while he caressed your hair again.

“He was torturing you so you would submit to him and follow him to Oblivion.”

“It was like electricity burning through my body and my head felt like it was going to explode. I could feel him in my mind. But then…you were there and…he was dead.” You looked up at Five. “You killed him.”

“He was hurting you,” he said simply, caressing your cheek with his hand.

“Five.” You looked into his eyes and they were filled with pain. “He was your father.”

He shook his head. “No he wasn’t. And not only because this was a different version of the man that raised me. He was never our father. Because a real father would never do what he has done to his kids. And then when I saw him hurting you like that…” his voice trailed off and you saw him swallow. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, it’s done now. He’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Five. This is my fault. He came looking for you, but I didn’t want to tell him where you were, and then he told me to tap into his mind to see if he was lying and I did it. I don’t know why, it was so stupid. I’m so so sorry.”

“It’s ok. It’s not your fault. He had it coming, believe me. I probably should have done it a long time ago.” He chuckled humorlessly. “Ironic that he was the one that taught me how to snap a grown man’s neck.”

“Wait, what about your siblings? Did you find them?”

There was silence and you heard Five’s breath catch in his throat. “Not really. But I know what happened to them.”

“Oh no.”

“I was too late. He must have convinced them to go through the tunnel. I tried to go after them, but the entrance was sealed. They’re stuck in there now. Oh, and also he killed Luther.”

“What?”

“I found him in the suite, dead. The whole floor was covered in his blood. Someone killed him and I assume it was Reginald. I don’t know why though, but I’m sure it was all part of his plan.”

“Oh shit, Five. I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

He didn’t say anything more, but you felt a sudden shift in your mind. Like it wasn’t just your thoughts in there anymore. You felt immense grief and sadness; along with an intense anger that was directed toward yourself. But they weren’t your thoughts and you hadn’t connected to Five’s mind.

“Something strange is happening.”

Five sat up a little straighter. “I feel it too.”

“It’s like…I can feel you. Your emotions. They’re mixing with mine.”

“And I can feel yours, I think. How is this happening?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know, I’m not doing anything to make it happen. I don’t understand.”

“Reginald,” Five said, as if that explained everything.

“What about him?”

“When he was connected to you, I had my hands on his head before I snapped his neck. I think maybe some of that energy passed through me. Which means I retained some of your energy, too.”

You sat there, trying to understand what he was saying. He was still in your head; you could feel it. And you assumed you were in his, as well. It was like you were connected by some invisible conductor.

“I think that’s why my body is still tingling. It’s like it’s connecting with yours. Do you feel that?”

“Yes,” Five said quietly. “I can feel it.”

You looked at each other, not really knowing what to say next or what to do. Your consciousnesses were joined together and there were so many emotions swirling around in your brain that it was overwhelming. His, mixed with yours, created a confusing blend that made it hard to think.

“Can you read my thoughts?” Five asked.

You shook your head. “No, just your emotions. Why, can you read mine?”

“No. But it’s the same for me. I can feel everything you’re feeling.”

You were both silent for a minute as you tried to process everything that was passing between you.

“Well, this is fucking weird,” you finally said.

Five laughed. “That’s an understatement.”

You looked at him with a small smile, the connection between you seeming to deepen as you looked into his eyes, and you touched the side of his face with your hand.

“Thank you, Five.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For saving my life; for staying with me and helping me not lose my mind. For giving me several amazing orgasms.”

He grinned. “You’re welcome. But I’m not sure I can take credit for the last one. You gave me some pretty good instructions with that download.”

You laughed. “I don’t think that was it. I’m pretty sure your ego is the driving force behind that particular talent.”

He shrugged with a smirk and pulled you closer to him so he could kiss you. “Perhaps that was part of it.”

His lips were soft on yours, but there was something new there. Like an underlying current of electricity. But not the painful, white-hot electricity that coursed through your veins when Reginald had ahold of you. This was a warm, tingling feeling. Like a quiet hum through your body. It was comforting and you kissed him back deeply, trying to get more of that feeling.

“You felt that, too?” he breathed when you pulled away.

You nodded. “It’s like I feel closer to you. Like you’re a part of me.”

Five looked in your eyes again. “You are a part of me, there’s no denying that. But it’s not just because of whatever weird thing is happening here. It’s because you came to me at the last minute; when I had no more hope left in me. I was drained and empty inside. But you filled me up again; with your spirit and your kindness. And several amazing orgasms.” You laughed, even though you felt tears forming in your eyes. “So, thank you for giving me that. I’m sorry I couldn’t give us more time. I think we could have had something good together.”

“I think so, too,” you whispered.

You could feel his sincerity and his regret that you had run out of time. And there was something else there, but you pushed it away because it was too painful to think about.

“I’m so tired. I just want to lie here with you. Is that ok?”

“Of course it is.”

You moved your bodies so that he was holding you to him from behind again. You breathed out a long, contented sigh and pulled his arms tighter around you. Even though you were exhausted you laid awake for a few minutes.

“Are you scared?” you whispered.

Instead of an answer, you felt a wave of fear wash over you before it dissipated again. It had been from Five. You didn’t say anything, just pressed your body closer to his as a comfort to you both.

“Do you believe in an afterlife?” you asked hesitantly.

“I’m not sure. My brother says there is. I’m not entirely convinced, though.”

“I feel the same way.” You paused. “I guess we’ll find out, huh?”

“I guess we will.”

“If there is, do you want to meet up sometime? Like a date?”

You were joking, of course; trying to lighten the mood. But you felt Five bury his face in your hair and he kissed your shoulder.

“If there is an afterlife, I’ll find you. I promise you I will.”

There was nothing more to say, so you closed your eyes and drifted off; your body and mind weak and tired from Reginald’s earlier torture.

***********************************************

The deafening sound woke you with a start. The room around you was blazing bright and you could feel the waves of heat pulsing in the air. The walls were shaking and the pictures that had been hanging there crashed to the ground. The lamp on the nearby table smashed into pieces as it fell onto the floor. But it was the sound that was terrifying. It was like a train heading straight for you at top speed, the noise growing louder with each second. You let out a cry of fear and you felt Five hug you closer to him.

“It’s ok, I’m here,” he said calmly next to your ear.

You turned around so that you were facing him, keeping your body flush with his as you held on to each other. You started crying again and Five brushed away your tears with the back of his fingers.

“It’s happening. This is it, we’re going to die,” you choked out.

You had hoped to be braver in these last moments of life, but the truth was you were terrified and you couldn’t hide it.  But Five appeared calm and the energy that you were picking up from him was peaceful and you welcomed it in, letting it flood your insides. It helped and you stopped crying. The noise was growing louder and the walls around you started to crumble, the glass in the window breaking into a million shards as it exploded all around you. You clutched onto each other even tighter, ignoring the tiny lacerations forming on your bodies, the blood painting your skin with pin prick dots of red.

“Just remember, I will find you. No matter what.”

Five spoke softly in your ear so that you could hear him over the roar of the fast-approaching fireball. With only a few seconds left, you opened your mind up fully, letting all of Five’s deep feelings wash over you. And you felt it. The one emotion you had been determined to push away. But you let it in, because there was no point in holding back now.

It was love. His love for you flowed into you and it was so strong that it momentarily blocked out the raging heat of the dying universe as it closed in on you. You held a hand on his cheek and gave him one last kiss. He could feel everything you were feeling, too. You had made sure he could. But he needed to hear you say it. He deserved to hear it from someone once in his life, even if it was the very end. Your eyes closed and you focused on his body and his breath and his heartbeat next to yours; making sure he heard you before the darkness came.

“I love you, Five.”

***********************************************

Epilogue

It was a Saturday afternoon, the fall air crisp outside and the sun shining low and into the tinted windows of the coffee shop. You sat in your usual spot, hunched over your book, idly sipping at your tea. This is where you spent most of your down time these days. The same coffee shop, the same table by the window if it was unoccupied, the same drink order. Your friends thought there was something wrong with you. They were probably right. But you’d been pulling away from them for the last few months anyway, so they had pretty much stopped asking if you were ok.

It had been this way for a year now. You weren’t sure why; there was no logical explanation you could come up with. You’d initially thought it had to do with entering your thirties and maybe it was a little bit of an early mid-life crisis. But then it stayed, enveloping you like a heavy blanket that you couldn’t shake from your shoulders.

One morning you had woken up like usual and something felt wrong. You tried to put your finger on it, tried to look back into your memory for something you must have forgotten. It was like that feeling you get when you walk into a room but forget the reason why you came there in the first place. Usually if you stand there long enough, it will come to you. This time, it never did.

And so, you went on with life; going to work, meeting up with friends, visiting your parents. Nothing had changed, it was all the same. Except it wasn’t. And you didn’t know how to explain it. There was just something…missing.

You started to decline invitations to parties or to dinners with your girlfriends. A couple times you had been asked out on dates by fairly good-looking men, but you lied and said you were in a relationship. You had lost the desire to interact with people. Even people you cared about. Instead, you found yourself in this same coffee shop, wiling away the hours, and trying to figure out what the hell happened to your life.

Something had happened to your powers, too. You no longer needed to concentrate so hard to read people’s emotions. The golden strands that would normally serve as a bridge from your mind to another were gone. It was concerning at first, when you accidentally gained access to the barista’s consciousness and was hit by a wall of boredom and mild depression. She hadn’t felt a thing, apparently. She just handed you your tea with a professional smile and moved on to the next person.

Even though it went against your moral code, you found yourself using your powers more often. Mostly just for something to do while you sat there, looking out the windows onto the busy city sidewalk. Anger. Doubt. Love. Anxiety. Happiness. Regret. Hope. Sadness.   They all spread through you in a whirl as the passersby went about their day, having no idea they were just cracked open by a girl innocently sipping a mug of green tea. You liked feeling everything they were feeling in those brief seconds. It felt less alone. Less empty.

Your downloads didn't require nearly as much time or concentration, either. And despite knowing that it was wrong, it was fun to surprise strangers with random bits of information as they entered your personal space. The subway was particularly easy, and you liked to watch the reactions of the other commuters when a new fact suddenly jumped into their brain. There was no longer a golden orb and the information was downloaded quickly and precisely from your mind to theirs. It was even more fun to give them incorrect information. Although, you still felt guilty about making one man get off at the incorrect stop just because you wanted to see if you could do it.

You glanced up at the window like you normally did, already bored with your book. You watched as men and women walked by; most of them at a much more leisurely pace since it was the weekend. When you saw him walking towards you, you didn’t think much of it at first. It took a few seconds before your brain caught up to your eyeballs. But then it hit you like a fucking brick.

Grasping the edge of the table with both hands, you squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your teeth as the images flooded through you. They came at you so fast, it was like one of those books that makes moving animation when you flip through the pages super-fast. But you could still see everything; you could still register what was happening. It was all there. The hotel, the wedding, the giant orange fireball outside, your fear and helplessness. And Five. His face and his body, the way his hands felt on your skin and in your hair, the sound of his voice as he whispered in your ear. How safe you had felt when he held onto you even at the last moment.

When the images suddenly stopped flashing through your brain, your eyes flew open and you sucked in a loud, gasping breath. The people around you turned and you heard one woman ask if you were ok. But you didn’t answer. You were too busy looking out the window, frantically searching for his now familiar face. But he was gone again.

Jumping up, knocking your tea over onto your book, you grabbed your purse and ran out of the cafe. You started hurrying through the crowds of people, ignoring their grumbles and curses as you pushed past them. You couldn’t see him anywhere. How was that possible? He had just been there, walking in this very direction. You had only seen him briefly before the images poured into your brain, but you knew it was him. Slightly older and with no three-piece suit, he had still been wearing a white dress shirt and black pants, his head angled down at the ground as he had walked with purpose, his dark hair falling over one eye.

That panicky feeling started to rise up in you again as you increased your pace, jogging in front of and around people, your eyes searching everywhere around you. So, that when you collided directly into another person, you let out a loud “oof” as you were pushed back a couple steps by the impact. You didn’t fall, but you lost your footing a little until a hand reached out and grabbed your arm, steadying you. In an instant, your body was filled with a warm, tingling sensation and you looked up.

When you locked eyes, you were both startled and you stood there staring at each other in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing people to walk around you. Finally, he spoke.

“It’s you.”

You nodded slowly, your voice trembling. “I remembered. When I saw you, I remembered everything.”

“I was just walking and then it hit me after I passed that coffee shop. And I remembered you. I don’t know how I didn’t remember before…but I knew I had to go back. For months something has felt wrong…it was always like-“

“Like something was missing?”

Five smiled. “Exactly. It was you. I was missing you.”

“Our connection with my powers. I don’t think it ever left. We just needed to meet again for everything to fit back into place.”

Five nodded as you both continued to breathe hard, staring at one another.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, even as he was already pulling you closer.

“I think you better,” you answered with a smile.

It didn’t matter that you were blocking the sidewalk in the middle of the day, or that angry citizens were shoving past you and telling you to get a room. As soon as Five kissed you, another flood of memories came back. Only this time, it was that same soft electrical feeling through your body. That quiet hum of energy. And you could feel everything he was feeling again. Relief, desire, and love.

When you managed to pull away from each other, you still held on, your arms encircling his shoulders and his hands on your waist. He leaned down and placed his forehead against yours.

“You promised you would find me. And you did.”

“I’m sorry it took so long,” he said softly as he closed his eyes and kissed you again.

“Five? Does this mean this is actually the afterlife? That we’ve been dead the whole time?”

Five looked around and shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. This is real life. But it must be an alternate dimension or timeline, it’s hard to say. It looks like when the universe exploded, it created a new one in its place. Like a backup.”

“So…we get to just go about living our lives?”

“Looks that way. But now we can do that together. Assuming, of course, that’s what you want.”

You brushed a strand of hair off his face and smiled up at him. “I want nothing more.”

Five pulled you in tighter for one more kiss before taking your hand and walking over to the side, out of everyone’s way.

“I suppose we should start getting to know one another a little better. Outside of the bedroom, anyway. I feel pretty confident I know you well enough in that regard,” he joked as he rubbed his thumb over the inside of your wrist.

You raised one eyebrow. “I don’t know, I may have some super secret kink that I never showed you.”

He pushed you gently against the building you were standing in front of and held your face in his hand.

“Sweetheart, I would love to learn every kinky, sexually depraved thing about you. And I intend to indulge in all of them. But right now, how about we go back to that café you were in and we talk over coffee. You know, like normal people that don’t have the end of the world breathing down their neck.”

“I’d like that. Oh, but I actually only drink tea. I’m not a coffee person.”

The horrified look Five gave you made you laugh out loud, it was so overdramatic.

“What?”

Five shook his head in disappointment. “It’s a damn good thing I already know how good you are in the sack, otherwise this date may have ended before it began.”

As you giggled and kissed his frowny face, you sighed happily.

“I love you, Five.”

“I love hearing that again. And I love you, too.”

Link to my Master List

[zoobiefish]

So, I nearly missed out on Auctober again, whoops! I am now 9 days behind, woohoo 😂😅 I’m an Autistic university student, so I may not always have the spoons to commit to this daily challenge, or at the very least I may not be able to draw something for each prompt…I may have to just write a little blurb about what that day’s prompt means to me lol But ideally I would like to contribute as many pieces of art to this challenge as I can! For now though, to catch up on all I’ve missed, I’m going to make individual short blurbs for the prompts I’ve missed thus far:

Day 1: Autism Plus

For myself, in addition to being Autistic, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, EDNOS, and generalized anxiety. I also suspect I may have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Fun stuff!

Day 2: Infinite

The most popular symbol for Autism Spectrum Disorder to my knowledge is a golden infinity ♾ symbol (sometimes I see a rainbow-coloured one in use as well, though my understanding is that the rainbow infinity symbol is used for neurodiversity as a whole). For a long time, the infamous puzzle piece 🧩 symbol was used to represent ASD—but most Autistics HATE this symbol!! I recognize that I don’t speak for all Autistic people, but this is the common opinion on the puzzle piece symbol and the one I share as well: The puzzle piece symbol is problematic because it suggests that Autistic people are inherently “missing a piece” or that we are “a puzzle to be solved.” Plus, this symbol is used by the evil corporation Autism Speaks. I would prefer not to go on a rant right now about why they’re evil; if anyone is curious, I would recommend doing research on why Autistic people HATE Autism Speaks. But the short version is that they support eugenicist policies around Autism and seek to eradicate us from existence. They treat us as non-humans under the guise of doing “charity work”—they are absolutely NOT a charity. Do NOT support Autism Speaks under any circumstances—any supporter of Autism Speaks (or as most of us spell it, “Autism $peaks”), is NO friend of mine!

Day 3: AuDHD

This is a fun little term I’ve seen in the Autism and ADHD communities! It’s a portmanteau of “Autism” and “ADHD” in case it wasn’t obvious heh! I myself do have AuDHD; it’s a very common comorbidity! It’s certainly…an interesting experience because the two often conflict with each other, as if I have 2 wolves fighting within my brain 🤪

Day 4: Music

Music is one of my favourite coping mechanisms. If I’m understimulated or need inspiration (especially for art or writing), I’ll put on some fun, energetic music to get the juices flowing and will dance and/or pace around the room to get the energy out of my system! If I’m overstimulated, relaxing videogame soundtracks are often my go-to—especially music from The Legend of Zelda, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing etc. Another aspect of my being on the spectrum is that my thoughts are very vivid and visual. Often times when I hear music, I can’t help but see colours, shapes, images, and even stories with characters and whatnot going along to the music. It gives me great ideas for animatics and artwork! I love this fun little bonus feature in my brain haha 😛

Day 5: Verbose

This one is rather interesting for me. I find when I feel safe around a person or I have just TOO much energy to control myself, I WILL talk—and talk—and talk—etc. I feel so bad for those who fall victim to my “infodump sessions”—but just know that if I do that to you, it’s my way of showing affection. If I talk and never seem to shut up around you…I probably really like you (platonically) 😁 Other times however, I am dead silent. This is usually around people I’m uncertain of, don’t know well enough, or I may just be burntout/too tired to talk 😅

Day 6: Individuals

As the saying goes: If you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person, then you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person! We are NOT a hivemind, people!! Just because I’m not like your “friend’s cousin’s aunt’s 3-year-old stepson” doesn’t mean I’m “not Autistic.” The stereotype with Autism is a white cishet dude—but we are just as diverse a population as any other demographic. We all have our differences and similarities, but we are unified in our shared diagnosis—and that’s it!

Day 7: Neuroscope

Ah yes, the “superpower” Autistic people seem to have in which we can all “sense each other” 😂😂😂 I find this to be scarily accurate actually—the majority of the people I’ve become friends with at uni turned out to be Autistic, and long before they mentioned they were on the spectrum I was able to tell. The funniest part though is that they all the said same thing about me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day 8: Non-Speaking

So of course Autism is a spectrum, and among the ways in which Autistic people can differ from one another is whether we possess the ability to verbally speak or not. I do not want to talk in length about what being “non-speaking” means as I am not non-speaking myself and don’t wish to talk over those who are. What I do know though is that some of us are unable to verbally speak and may use alternative methods to communicate (whether through the use of sign language, AAC devices, or other means), which are equally valid methods of communication that deserve to be respected. Once again, I must iterate that I am fully capable of verbal speech and I am in no way non-speaking myself. That being said, sometimes I do have a reduced capacity to speak or feel it takes far more physical effort to speak when I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed, in sensory overload, or in the midst of a shutdown. This does NOT mean I am non-speaking—that label is exclusively for Autistic individuals who cannot verbally speak at all. I’m not sure what the proper terminology is for my specific situation (if anyone knows of it, I’d appreciate if you let me know in the comments!) but because of these situations, I am currently trying to learn ASL so I can still communicate in some way during these episodes.

And that’s it for now! I am hoping to have a drawing done by the end of today for Day 9, but we shall see! In the meantime, check out @autiebiographical on Tumblr! They are the one who started Auctober in the first place to my knowledge and they create amazing comics and other content that educates people on Autism Spectrum Disorder! Happy Auctober y’all!

[muriels-brainrot]

૮꒰ “ . . ꒱ა

{Referencing this post: https://www.tumblr.com/muriels-brainrot/755439602787139584/how-do-you-cope-with-the-fandom-being-so?source=share }

Forgive me if I'm intruding but I recently came across some very helpful advice which I think is quite insightful.

To set the scene, before I found this advice, I myself was struggling with staying consistent with art. This time however, I had decided that no I won't keep procrastinating. SO, in my attempt to find resources, I stumbled onto this video. Now suddenly it all began to make sense. The reason I was struggling was not because i'm lazy and horrible and lacking motivation. Rather it was because I had outcome related goals. TLDR: I was focused on the outcome (wow rlly iri we didn't know that's what outcome related goals meant pfft-)

Anyways so, instead of focusing on the process, I was instead focusing on the end product aka the finished drawing. Ofc I'm a beginner so I wouldn't look like I wanted to. Not bad but it wouldn't be what I wanted so i'd get frustrated and eventually give up on drawing . . . before inevitably returning with my tail between my legs cause I still rlly want to get better.

Honestly, it's natural and normal for these feeling to occur, because like you said we pour so much time and dedication. Not to mention heart and soul to make these creative projects that it feels almost personal when it doesn't get engagement. But if there is something i'd like for you to know, it's that it rlly helps if you take enjoyment in the process. Draw inspiration from odd places and craft scenarios.

Don't write for others, or the cliche of writing for yourself but rather think of it as you sharing your brainrot with ur future self haha. Write stuff that you'd wanna read yourself! (then come back to read it like a crazy person at the dead of night . . . wait, don't tell me that just me-)

Just . . . let your brain do its thing! Let your brain create instead of letting the ideas and projects fester in your head. Keep growing your skill because you never know, these might be the very thing that comes in handy later on in life. Think of singers like Sabrina carpenter who was niche (I mean to say not worldwide popular yknow, but u get my point) for a long time. However, if you look at her now that she's gone viral, it's the hard work during the years she spent creating with most of the world with their backs to her that is the sole reason she continues to be so well known for her . . . well, everything! (For example: She is extremely comfortable on stage while performing and looks like she's in her element even with thousands of eyes on her . . . it's cause she's been performing for almost 10 years I think.)

So, to both anon and anyone else reading this, pls keep creating stuff. Especially passion projects. Even if you feel like you're screaming into a void. You'll only get better IF you continue. Also, you never know maybe there is someone out there that really enjoys your work. Even if it's one person, that still someone out there that keeps coming back just for your work. This silly tangent I went on, won't completely get rid of all the thoughts and feelings . . . but it's a start. Hope this helps . . .

(Example: I always find myself coming back to this artwork by @cinsilly cause Asra's expression here is so funny. No not once a week but every few days oops- )

Oh my god thank you!! I'll post my thoughts in the comments. But it was honestly v cool of you to share this, the only thing that keeps me together in any fandom is knowing we're not alone in feeling this way :'> !!!

[petarabbit2]

Realistic Ace Trappola + Headcanons

Ace headcanons + realistic artwork done with Art Breeder and edited in Clip Art Studio:

Okay so getting straight into it, this is my first post about my headcanons and realistic versions of twisted wonderland characters and the first one being introduced is *drumroll* Ace Trappola! Ace fans, you eating good tonight my chickies (that sounds so weird if u dont think of chickens right away LMFAO).

Sidenote: When headcanoning Ace and all my other characters, I take both factual and some of my personal thoughts/beliefs of the character to construct my headcanons.

So for Ace, its evident that I gave him acne due to reasoning such as his diet (fav food being cherry pie and mentioning his liking towards burgers) plus he is literally a teen boy that also has no women in his life and stereotypically the mother is the one to bring up looks as an issue, so without this Ace probably would have never gotten the right treatment for his acne. 

He’s already a red head so I added on that by giving him freckles. Also, it's known that redheads are more prone to acne, so another note as to why I gave him acne.

For his features for a realistic rendition, I went with a heart shaped face (because Ace’s card suit is hearts) but his widow's peak is hidden beneath his bangs. He has a snub nose shape which is quite round and slightly upturned. He has thicker eyebrows cause we all know bro don’t give a shit about his appearance.

For his hair I went wild, it's extremely fluffy, a bit curly and like shoulder length when wet. Bro has had like two haircuts his whole life and probably smells foul. I also tried to keep to the original style pretty closely without it looking really weird like bro came straight out of an anime. 

I didn't draw the bodies for any of them but Ace is more lanky with long legs and a rectangular body shape, but he has pretty big feet and hands.

Yeah and he's got a light British accent gang I’m sorry 😭 – he uses slang often as well.

Without & With Face Makeup:

Personality and backstory headcanons + a bit of character analysis:

Okay so Ace is one of the very first characters we meet in the game and a good one at that, a lot of people just put him in the category of “dumb friend with one brain cell”, and yes that's kinda true but every person had a reason to be the way they are due to personal experiences. We know in canon that Ace has always lived with his father and older brother but due to the literally no backstory on his mum, I’m saying his parents are divorced which he has much more time with his dad, also by his mannerism being so straight to the point and not sugar coated, this could be due to him being raised in an only male household. Which could also hint to why he “didn't feel committed” to his former relationship in middle school, he was so new to this type of love and got scared. After all he is just a teen, cut my boy some slack. (#1 Ace defender) 

Due to this relationship with his mother and seeing how his parents fell out of love, fought or similar, he’s very bad with women which is why he has only male friends. The only way he would have a girlfriend (or woman friend) is if they were not sensitive to his zero-filter way of speaking and even tell him off for it. (not me doing this since my yuusona is a girl 💀)

It's still mentioned that the whole family gets together around holidays (although this could possibly just mean his grandma and such and not the mothers side) so maybe the divorce wasn't messy and they just didn't love each other anymore, which happens all the time with quick relationships.

Ace is also pretty immature and not into deep and emotional conversations which is common with teen boys (especially around his age group). So not trying to hate, but all those scenarios made up with him comforting the reader and helping them feel better, in reality, he probably wouldn’t have gotten why you're so sad and not really know how to comfort you. Which is completely fine! He's not fully grown in body or mind and people need to accept this.

He definitely makes your mum jokes and sex jokes, bro cannot stop himself laughing when a teacher says anything sex related. He's highly competitive and will sulk if he loses a basketball game or bet with a friend.

Also despite being not very empathetic (not on purpose though), he appreciates the little things. For example, he’d appreciate you remembering his birthday or always having a spare pencil for him in class as you know he always loses his. He really appreciates those friends and even though he lacks in some areas, he will always protect them and stay by their side no matter what.

In conclusion, he's just some teen boy who's still learning about life and people. I had a lot of fun making the realistic design and giving him more depth as a character and I'll be doing this for the rest of the cast and after that maybe side characters?? Only if you guys want it though, I’ll also one day release my yuusona 😞. (she’s my queen get ready yall (hi i’m the 10/10 editor and assistant 😋)) (together, we are big brain)

My editor/assistant cause I can’t grammar or spell to save my life: @cyb3rpnnk 

SIDENOTE: DO NOT REPOST MY REALISTIC RENDITION OF ACE OR ANY OTHER CHARCTER I DO AS YOUR OWN. EVEN THOUGH THE BASE WAS MADE WITH AI IT IS STILL MY CREATION!

However you are permitied to use my headcanoing as your own for art or stories or whatever, just not my realistic rendition.

Hope you enjoyed my take on realistic Ace and my headcanoning!

[mayhems-cannon]

update thingy whatever whatever, it gets a little melodramatic and i’m sorry about this

admittedly, even while attending class is fun and interesting, i’m still feeling somewhat weak, in terms of anything really: body, mind, psyche, i’m just feeling really frail. I want to draw, believe me when i say so, but i just don’t know what, what for, it’s just all starting to feel useless and almost unreal. i’m more than grateful to anyone and everyone who enjoys my work, but i wish i could give you more, i wish i could transcend this stupid shell and get rid of my mind so i could make you even a bit happier. i wish i could help you all feel better on a bad day, or cheer you up, or anything. i’m sorry i’ve fallen like that.

i’ll try to do some little doodle works, but as is, I’m spending half the day as if i was half dreaming everything until the latter half were i fully remember what and where i am. reading stuff like dungeon meshi has been very inspiring for comic and full pieces ideas, and talking to friends has helped a lot as well. i’m also hoping i’ll get better enough to play more games, feed my brain various stuff. maybe that too will help with artworks. overall however, i’m just extremely exhausted, and i have no idea why.

I’m grateful if you read this. i’m sorry for being so doom and gloom and dramatic lately, i myself don’t really know what is happening to me but i want to get better, for me and for you, so i can make more of those Catbriel pieces and more elaborate stuff. i hope i’ll be okay.

drink water, breathe deeply and hug your favourite plushie.

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

Writerly Questionare

Woah okay. Thanks for the tag @winglesswriter! I'm gonna have the questions below the cut to try to make the copy and pasting easier.

I tag @chayscribbles @winterandwords @vacantgodling @the-void-writes @aether-wasteland-s @nanashi23 @televisionjester (Only if y'all want. Open tag too!)

About Me

When did you first start writing?

With actual purpose middle school. Like 6th/7th grade.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Sorta. What's actually funny is I really ain't a fan of romance but I write that shit on the side XD.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

I'm not really sure about that emulate part. I could list a shit ton of awesome writers though (the people I taged and many many more) Lol, I'm definitely not compared to anyone though.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I'm usually writing in my room, on a crowded tv dinner table. But I write in a lot of places, including passenger seat of car. Or in the library if I'm settling on strictly typing stuff. (I usually handwrite)

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Listening to music and being busy as hell.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I think so. I have a shit ton of black characters for a reason. I'm black, it's easy.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

The power of friendship, violence, we were forced to together so now we working together, and "good guys" doing bad shit too. Those are usually pretty prevalent in my stories.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Uhhhh that's hard to decide but I guess I'll go Saz. Saz is my stud bear morpher dragged into a battle against the humans. She is stressed, bro is going through it, and she's a wrestler.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Most of them honestly. I think I'd be more than willing to hear about Hollis's (Robots & Gardens) exploits.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Cosma would get her shit rocked and I'd get mine rocked in return. And I think me and Green's anger problems would clash in really bad ways.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

They appear magically in my brain. And I obsess over them like I obsess over all of my interests. The Fucked at Five oc's were the one's that deviated the most because most of them are based on the movie Open Season.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Tough exterior but actually really soft and big women go brr.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

As a combination of as real people I imagined, comic book characters, art I made, and cartoon characters (like a banger indie animation).

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Teehee it's how I process a lot of things and also I have to fill the world with content I want to see cause no one else is.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

All of them for real. I love y'all. But any of them loving the characters as much as me honestly.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

A cool dude who loves to write gay dorks gaying dorkily and fighting..

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Giving my character's a personality I guess.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

I've been told I can write really fluid fight scenes or I have decent descriptions.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

Lol I think it's great when it's great and ass when it's ass.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yep. My fanfic writing would probably be slowed even further but I'd still write whatever came to mind in general.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Oh I definitely write what I know will amuse me. But I arguably think it's a mixture of both. Sometimes I'll see something or get a response that brings me to write. And it's bangers always.

When did you first start writing?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

[maytheratseatureyes]

SH ask - 8, 9, 12, 15?

8. What are your favorite trait exclusive interactions?

There are so many good ones for mystic, but I love that you can tell Reese you're able to feel the emotions that he put into his artwork. I'm pretty sure mystic also let me suggest that his illness was actually supernatural. I just love that it gives this kind of deeper connection with him, that I find romantic. I really hope episode 5 has an "oh shit!" moment with both Kaneeka and Stella realizing you were right and had the ability to pick up on those things about their best friend

And for hot... obviously Tame the Beast. I love the double hot romance option you get if you call Tabby. Being able to protect him from his mom only to be able to jump in front of a loaded gun for him right after????!!!! And the game letting you just flat out call him your boyfriend? *screaming* I love it so much! I'm really excited to see what he has to say about that in the next episode.

9. What difficult game changing choice was the hardest for you to make?

Episode 3 was easily the most difficult so far. I don't have book smart, I refused to let my MC age, and I like Oscar way too much to leave him homeless and without a job, especially after Rosalina lost her foot. So aging Tabby was my pick. I know saying this is very controversial in this fandom, but I'm not the biggest Tabby fan, so I'm guessing picking this was easier for me than it was for most people. That being said, I don't think it was fair. I feel bad for Charlie, I really do, but what happened to him wasn't Tabby or MC's fault.

12. What's your favorite ship(s)? What's your least favorite ship(s)

My favorite ship would be any of the love interests + MC. Yes, including Stella. Seeing the characters people come up with is my favorite part of this fandom.

Next would be Stabby, even tho I really don't like how Tabby treats Stella, and I honestly feel like she deserves better. But, I want Stella to be happy, so I got them together on my run. And that's it, I'm not really into any other ones.

My least favorite ships are obviously Tabby/MC and Joan/Reese. I just... no. I find it disgusting, and I hate that it's a thing people still do even though the devs themselves have said it makes them uncomfortable. That's all I'm going to say about that.

15. What is a fan theory you like?

Is it bad if I pick my own? I'm mostly doing that because I haven't kept up with any of the newer theories, and the only one I can remember off the top of my head is the one about Wayne being a sentient fungus and I don't really buy that.

So my theory is that the entity is Reese's dad, and his soul is currently trapped inside of what was once Teddy, who has been confined to that room.

There are a few reasons I think this:

1. The claw markings on the door frame. What Reese is able to transform into has claws, and he leaves similar markings on the clinic walls.

2. "Teddy's" favorite food being calfs brains. You can find this out in the cookbook hidden in the pantry. In a dev Q&A, we find out Reese's favorite food growing up was liver, and in the Matricide and Obedience endings, he eats his mom, sooo yeah.

3. The locked door in the estate holds parallels to Reese being locked up by his mom.

4. The seal concerning Teddy is in the clinic.

5. And then there's Joan. We know Dr. Kelly was best friends with Vivian, so I wouldn't be surprised if she visited the estate on a regular basis in her youth. I'm thinking the entity could have taken a liking to her (maybe even sweet talked her through the door) and used its abilities to visit her in her dreams.

6. Wayne calls Reese a weapon. Maybe the entity was hoping his son, Reese, would kill the remaining Scarlets and finally free him. Maybe using what Joan did to him as proof. What if Reese opens that door, finds his dad, and he says something along the lines of "They locked me up and they'll lock you up forever, too!"

So yeah, that's my theory that I'm certain has holes and is probably wrong, lol

If I think of anything else to add to it, I'll edit it later bc I feel like I'm forgetting some things.

[etherfabric]

Hi, Ether, I suddenly remembered your post about writing stories with Tarot. It's really an interesting and novel idea✨️. So I want to give it a try: "Give me a story, please"

And I will make use of this ask to also ask you 3 questions in the ask game you reblogged a while back (my mind kind of working in a backwards way 😆), if you don't mind answering.

5. What made you start your blog?

17. Name three things that make you happy.

28. Do you collect anything?

Thank you for sharing your gift 🫶🌌

Hey River ⭐️

I have just finished writing your story (it was SO much fun) but seems I have escalated a bit over the word count, at least that's what Tumblr tells me when pasting it into here n_n' Ether from the Future: It was a simple formatting issue 🫠

So I will focus on the questions first (so cool of you to remember, I'm flattered!) and then figure out how to get the story on here.

➡️ Here it is!

5. What made you start your blog?

My yearning for recognition. My Chiron is in Leo and I have to accept about myself that I like being seen, being praised, being liked, being recognized for my talents. The first aspiration was a YouTube channel, but I don't feel ready yet to show my face and/or voice. And my current lifestyle in the flesh realm (lol) is very Hermit-style, so no audience there either.

I live in a quiet small town, only with my partner in an aro-ace connection, since my latest spiritual transformation (my Saturn Return) shed some light on my previously pretty bad taste in people, so I cut off a lot of connections. That was needed and healthy for me, I don't regret anything, and tumblr was a platform I never participated in, but was always fond of from afar, so when my first social buds started blooming again, this was the right mixture of new and manageable for me to share my newest passion, Tarot.

All my former "real life" connections never had such an emphasis on a spiritual component, so I wanted to practice doing exactly that. (I mean, my partner got me into spirituality, but he has the futile effect on my ego like a parent to me - "Of course he loves me and likes what I do. He is weird. Must see if strangers agree!")

It's still scary sometimes experiencing myself doing the woowoo stuff out loud, fear of ridicule and all that, but in a community already agreeing on accepting that it's far easier opening up about that and contributing my point of view than with random people in real life.

17. Name three things that make you happy

Blueberries, peppermint tea, feeding a forest slug and watching her little eyes droop in bliss (I had all three things today!)

28. Do you collect anything?

This is so basic, but - Tarot decks! My budget is keeping me mindful and intentional lol, otherwise I would have 400 by now. Saving bookmarks in my browser is my substitute drug to not have the lights go out after a spending frenzy. The combination of artwork, mythology, and it being a nice stimmy toy when shuffling just makes them too hypnotizing for my crow brain to not eternally want them all. I know this potentially shallows the individual relationships to each deck, but crow brain don't care. Shiny.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Thank you so much for sending this Ask, it was a joy to spend time answering to it 🌼😁

[writerswhy]

Fandom rant? Yes.

I am so, so, so disillusioned with fandom at the moment. Maybe it’s reflective of the current state of media (constant reboots and adaptations and sequels and remakes with very little substance) and internet culture, but I just feel like 1) it’s gotten increasingly difficult to integrate into any fandom. Everything and everyone moves on so fast because 2) it feels like caring is cringy nowadays? Maybe it’s because I grew up being told I took things too seriously, I care too much, but since when did everything have to become a joke or a trend?

Like, I enjoy fawning over ships and being silly in the tags but I also want to discuss the actual work and process behind a piece of artwork or fic. Why did you use those specific colors? (ex: in hotd the consensus is that the reason Alicent wears blues when she’s alone or vulnerable is because it’s a way to connect to her mother, to the girl she was before marrying the king and becoming a mother herself etc.) For fanvids, I love thinking about why a creator synced a random frame with a specific lyric. Even for fanfics, I actually take the whole “yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character” meme seriously, and when I go to the comments and read what others are saying, I feel silly and out of place when everyone’s talking about how hot the smut was and “pls more 🙏”. I get it, I do, and I acknowledge that the writer probably did just want to write smut and call it a day, but maybe they had something more to say? Maybe that’s why they wrote about how character A will give a blowjob but won’t kiss character B? Maybe they’re trying to explore internalized homophobia and religious guilt and power dynamics? I don’t know! I don’t know because no one is saying anything anymore.

One of my favorite fandom experiences this year has been reading fanfic from this one author who writes in Spanish and translates their work to English. Is it well-written? No, the translation is pretty rough, but the author has so much to say and I’ve loved picking their brain and just…talking about our favorite characters both in-universe and in modern aus, from a character’s mindset to how they take their coffee. (This goes back to an old post I made about “bad art” and how we need it. I don’t care if it’s littered with grammatical errors. I don’t care if the pacing is off. I don’t care if the art isn’t pleasing to the eye. You have something to say and I want to hear it. It’s upsetting to think about how many people have been driven out of fandoms or completely ignored because their work isn’t pretty or neat or palatable.)

And the cherry on top? Aside from typical fandom shenanigans—antis and censorship and ship wars—creating is starting to feel like a rat race. I’ve written 47k for this one ship and I don’t think I’m ever posting the fic. And that sucks because I put a lot of time into plotting and writing and editing. I enjoy rereading it, I enjoyed writing it (for the most part), but do I want to share it with the same fandom that once called me a rape-apologist, misogynistic, man-centered freak because of who my favorite character is? No (this is insane behavior btw). And even if the reception is positive, from what I’ve seen, these types of fics for this specific ship gets very little interaction. I don’t necessary want general interaction; I want a community, I want comment threads and drabbles and community microfics, and I’m just not getting that anymore. I have more fun creating private Pinterest boards for my favorite characters and ships at this point.

[britishmuffin]

Hello, Britishmuffin

I hope you are having a wonderful day/night.

Just wanted to know what inspires you to make such amazing art pieces? As well how do you deal with art block?

Im a artist myself but times get tuff and I lose motivation and start developing art block.

Sincerely, fisheggsoup :)

Morning! Love your name :D

Truthfully, my biggest motivator is born of necessity these days. I create art because I have bills to pay and family to support. My patrons are a huge driving force in all this, cheering me on from the sidelines while I work; my band of blessed saviours.

I also make sure that my social feeds are full of artists I love, who make art that makes me happy. I'm always watching films and playing games, always constantly absorbing media in this wacky age of technology-infused information. Then if I'm lucky, I get the chance to step outside for a walk in the woods with my sibling to help ground ourselves in the world and reconnect with nature, pure medicine for the troubled soul.

All of these activities serve to stir the Brain Soup and sometimes reflect in my artwork. I rarely get struck with the "fabled bolt of inspiration" these days, but I blame the current climate. I did used to.

As some of you will already know because I'm being quite open about it this time, I'm currently battling the worst bout of burnout I've had in literal years. So really, I'm not sure I'm the best person to be asking on the topic of how to deal with it, but here you go:

In my experience it’s not the best idea to wait for inspiration to strike. Inspiration is unreliable, constantly waiting can leave you anxious, and also most of us just don’t have the luxury of being able to. I kinda think we just need to create despite it (or TO spite it, or in order to spite someone who told you you couldn't, if that's your sauce).

If you feel like your art sucks, instead of expecting perfection try just giving yourself permission to be bad at art for a while, you might be surprised about how much of a relief it feels. Make a hundred terrible little sketches, doodles, scribbles, or just make marks on paper. You don’t even have to show them to anyone, they can be just for your eyes! More often than not I’ve found that the physical act of creating artwork can genuinely inspire you to make more, and better work. It flexes those art muscles and gets the creative cogs whirring. Just make stuff!!!

As a person who’s had little choice but to create for years, it can be really helpful to push through it. Not always, though.

Sometimes the art block you’re staring down actually goes layers deep into the realms of debilitating mental health and poor living status, right into dangerous burnout and breakdown territory. Some would argue that creating art in times of real pain is the best medicine, and indeed, creates the best results. I wholly disagree.

My advice is to always make art in those moments when you can, even if it sucks. And when you just can’t, then rest. Watch your favourite guilty pleasure anime, cook some delicious food, hug your pets, go exist in nature for a bit. Have you ever seen Kiki’s Delivery Service? That!

Helpful links to combat art block:

Line of Action has great learning resources, while also being a brilliant tool for a variety of speedy sketch warm-ups

Don’t know what to draw? Use a character description generator!

You could flex your figure drawing muscles with models on Figurosity, AdorkaStock, or ArtModels360 (nudity warning)

Improve your fundamental art skills with Drawabox or videos on The Fix List

Generate some colour palettes to use as a challenge. Adobe’s colour wheel tool isn’t too bad either

Other more practical tips include:

If you struggle staying motivated, try to refocus by sitting down and asking yourself "What kind of art do I really want to create?” Try to rediscover what excites you! Is your aim to work in the art industry? To be able to draw your OCs smooching? Draw beefy bara men? Do you really just wanna paint cool rocks? All valid af

Pull up images of your favourite artworks and study them. Ask yourself “Why do I like this artwork?” Are the outfits really cool designs? Is the lineart super stylish? Do you love the way they used colours? After that, think about what you need to learn to get to that point yourself, and start small. Mimic your favourite artworks in order to learn how to do it.

Example: If you realise that you want to improve at drawing hands, just spend a week learning about them. Draw pages and pages of them, find a way to make them fun and sexy to draw! I did just that, and now hands are actually one of my favourite things to draw, it works.

Warm-ups are SO important. If you just started on a piece and already feel defeated, ask yourself “Did I warm up enough first?” You can try looping fifty quick spirals in different sizes with your pen, scratch out some box shapes, doodle some funky wiggly shapes, crosshatch them, whatever you want! Just get that hand moving before you leap into your artwork of choice, it helps to loosen up to keep your lines from becoming too stiff.

If it’s just not working today, that’s okay. Take a break by filtering your creativity into another entirely different creative pursuit. You could try baking something tasty, making music, writing for your next D&D campaign, building cute houses in minecraft or the sims, painting miniatures, crafting with paper or sewing fabric, etc etc. Anything that keeps the creative brain ticking that isn’t drawing is also worthwhile.

And, mentally:

Try not to worry about what other people think of your artwork. Doesn’t matter what age you are or your background, the fact you’ve created anything at all is incredible. You brought something into the world that didn’t exist before. You’re powerful as hell.

Related: please please please don’t focus on being “successful” on social media. Even though I know it can feel awesome to post your art and get instant reactions, these things are a death spiral of addictive behaviour and shouldn’t dictate your creativity. Use sparingly.

Remember that your kid self would absolutely be losing their mind over the cool stuff you’ve made now. Same goes for your ancient ancestors who used to make those little clay animals. You’re doing great, be proud.

Don’t be so damn hard on yourself. I mean it <3

If you keep drawing you will improve. You will get your motivation back. You will make art again even if it takes you a while. And know that a muffin is cheering for you c:

[cactuseri]

saw this and wanted to make my own post real quick bc i’ve gotten some questions abt my art before & now that i feel a bit more secure in my style i thought i’d give a few tips to anyone who wanted that :)

first i have to address how the submission is phrased: i'm sorry & i know no one wants to hear this but “keep practicing” is not a platitude that is always going to be the best advice 😭 the real question is:

how do you make practice fun?

1. challenge yourself in a way you find enjoyable/fulfilling :)

i liked doing things like art prompts from inktobers, and to draw comics of the stories i wrote, but mostly the answer for me was “set random number goal, meet random number goal, inject the validation from completed goal directly into my bloodstream, repeat.”

i worked on things kind of systematically, which just made my brain happy; i spent one summer when i was 14 doing nothing but drawing 10 full bodies a day, all with references of course. did the same throughout the fall with hands, then eyes, then expressions, then clothes, etc etc. it always had to be 10 diff angles and positions.

i did a repeat of this 10-drawings-of-10-angles rule throughout quarantine in 2020. failed all my online classes cuz i was drawing 6-10 hours every day and ignoring my homework but still passed the year in the end 💀 i got the idea from yumeii-art; it's been over 7 years since, so idk if i remember right, but she had given a similar rule of thumb as a response to someone's question about drawing without a reference, i think.

is this the Best path? probably not, idk. and it definitely lead to awkward phases where i was much better at drawing bodies than faces, for example — but it worked for me. i liked breaking things down like that, it felt more manageable.

the other number goal was. in 9th grade i saw this post:

and i was like. y’know what? yeah. i keep feeling bad abt my art, how about i put that feeling on pause until after i’ve filled 14 sketch book. i hope this user knows i owe all my achievements to the phrase “fill 14 sketch book” powering me through years of depression and art block.

so i did fill 14 sketch book!

i met that goal between ages 14 and 19. obv this doesnt include the doodles on my homework, on other random surfaces, or the ~150 digital artworks i’d done in that time, so maybe it was more like 16 sketch book? but that doesnt matter, i had 14 labeled & organized sketchbooks that were full, and i did feel better about my art by then. this was my anime training montage. this was 90% of my improvement. this was the best art advice i’d ever gotten.

so i guess what made art the most fun to me was numbers? which sounds lame but i guess since i’m competitive & love competing against myself the most, it just worked for me.

comparisons, with 2016 on the left and 2020 on the right:

(the new sketches are still rough and lack some detail ofc but i have terrible ADHD and always found it hard to sit down and keep working on a sketch once it was “done enough” — for some reason i dont rlly have the same impatience with digital art & have less of a problem completing pieces on my ipad now) (the point is. 14 sketch book level complete. 1000% worth it)

then my 2021-2024 improvement, when i had bought my own ipad and again spent most days drawing instead of doing my schoolwork (i.. did end up failing that first year of uni):

2. try out different mediums aimlessly!

what i mean is just go ham with some charcoal or whatever you have on hand, without the determination to Make It Good. i can’t say if this helped my actual art get better but what it did do was keep the joy of it alive & i had fun which lead to more practice & therefore improvement. color pencils weirdly were my favorite. hell, my school had us do a project with linoleum printing (is that how u spell it idk) and it gave me months’ worth of art inspo.

i also recently got a gift card for a stationery store and got some nice markers and those also gave me a ton of motivation. markers r good

3. if u do digital art, find ur fave brush; it will be ur familiar ur trusted companion ur lover in a past life

for lineart i mostly use the IGB office pack, favorite ballpoint. you’ll have to buy & download it online tho i think it was like $7? but yea it was worth it. (i did a lot of work with the gesinski ink brush in past years but i think it’s a bit too “sharp” now)

but also go crazy try them all it’s fun!

4. in my opinion it’s fine to do redraws of ur fave artist’s work now and then — as long as u keep it to urself and dont take credit for it

i’ve had ppl ask to use my art as a ref and my answer is always Not Sure Why You’d Want To Bc It’s Not All That, But Yes Of Course. as u can see most of my 2021 work was redrawing panels of the “gangsta.” manga; it didn’t even end up influencing my style much, my style was already based on all the manga shit i drew at 13, but it was the only thing i was motivated enough to draw at the time, and it was valuable practice.

art teachers still stress that the best reference is to draw from life & yeah thats true maybe but idc sometimes ur just not feeling that! so mix it up, whatever works. obviously respect it if an artist says not to reference their work and don’t only reference ur art from one artist but generally i think it’s harmless.

especially when there’s a specific thing an artist does very well that’s hard to find other examples of; personally i was fighting for my life trying to find how to best translate references of dynamic movement into art of dynamic movement. and i think the bnha mangaka does this wonderfully so i often referenced thise action panels as practice. and i think it helped loosen up my art style. (and… i was extremely ridiculously mentally ill about hawks so that…. contributed…. my fave ask to date is still the person who clocked hawks as my old fave character based purely on how i draw eyes 😭😭)

tracing is a diff conversation and my advice there is it is not actually helpful and it's. idk it feels very Against Artist Code. sometimes, and i havent done it in a couple years, but if a piece REALLY isnt working i've done the thing where u trace the general movement of a pose then go from there but i've never posted completed works where i used that method bc it felt wrong. but yeah that's a separate thing that i don't wanna go too deep into

5. another fun thing that motivated me to practice was doing speedpaints!

if you draw on procreate, it's probably set up automatically already. i don't have the storage to record everything, but when i do have it on, the knowledge that i'll have a speedpaint of the finished piece pushes me to put the last necessary touches on it. (if you'd like to see some of my speedpaints i have a few on my instagram)

some more technical advice:

1. flip your canvas flip your canvas flip your goddamn canvas i KNOW it hurts i KNOW it’s like ripping off a bandaid that’s superglued to ur skin i know but YOU HAVE TO FLIP YOUR CANVAS

(when i didn’t have an ipad i’d do this by taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and flipping the image in the photo app)

IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT I’VE RAGE QUIT SOME PIECES OVER SEEING THE CANVAS FLIPPED BUT LOOK AT THIS ART BEFORE AND AFTER I’D FLIPPED IT AND FIXED HOW WONKY IT WAS: desaturated so tht the colors dont distract so much

like it's the BEST and honestly often the ONLY way you're going to catch things that were off/out of proportion/etc. flipping your canvas gives your brain a "new eye" and it's invaluable.

2. until you have color theory figured out…. i honestly depend on adding layers and setting them to color dodge, divide, multiply, overlay, etc…. i am cheating, perhaps, but it works

3. this is how i draw front-facing noses because it's what a czech woman in an extremely bad mood taught me in a cramped overheated stuffy classroom in germany when i was 12

it was our only meeting but she changed my life. i do not know how common this method is but it's possibly the only thing i can concretely give you a tutorial for. after a few times you won't need to do step 1 anymore

anddd i think that's all the advice i have that wouldn't be a repeat of every other art advice thing you've seen. i do know it boils down to "keep practicing" but again you won't get around that, and i just hope that concretely showing what's motivated me might help motivate someone else.

as an ending note, please take this sentence that motivated me just as much as the 14 sketch book rule: (via graveweaver, author of the webtoon "i'm the grim reaper")