#auctober

[jstillman98]

DAY 11 - Unlearning Ableism

In case you need to hear it today...

You deserve love, and you deserve to live. Thank you so much for being here. 💛💜❤️

[youdontlookautistic]

Auctober: Individualism.

This one is late, and I was gonna do the whole month, but let me explain.

This comic is what made me survive October. About a week ago I was forced to go no contact with my entire family, for 2 years, because they couldn’t respect me or my boundaries. I held on to this, my truth, as I struggled to deal with their abuse. Abuse I hadn’t been able to truly recognise until the past 6 months, that all came to a head now.

It has been a… revelation, let’s use that word. It’s been a revelation to realise I’ve grown up in a family I specifically wasn’t allowed to be disabled in. The ableism was so hard core it arcs into ego and narcissism.

I wasn’t allowed to have needs or wants, I was expected to be independent even though it was obvious to everyone outside my family that I needed support, and help. And if I wasn’t, I was shamed, controlled, ignored, dismissed, invalidated.

And while the pain of going no contact with those I truly, honestly believed supported me the most has threatened to bury me, I now hold onto my self. I hope and trust that there’s something in me that can help others. It’s my self that is my oxygen mask, in the darkest night.

I’ve never had that before.

AND IT’S AMAZING.

Also as a 2nd year art student this is my first comic.

@autiebiographical ran the month of Auctober! Thank you.

[autiebiographical]

Day 11 of Auctober!

Internal ableism is so hard to unlearn. It's a big part of my self esteem issues.

You're not a burden. You're not a disappointment. You're not a mistake. You are awesome!

[sclangelc]

their clown names r dilly and dally. if u point out my typo ur gay

auctober day 17 clowns i totally didnt nepo baby this theme for @solangeloweek

[oswald-can-draw]

It’s hard to remember that I have a disability, especially in the “if no one can tell, you’re not disabled, you aren’t” society that we live in.

I find myself making socially acceptable excuses for my burnout/inattentiveness/awkwardness. Sometimes that’s for the best, but it can be exhausting. There’s only so many “just tired”s and “just woke up from a nap”s that I can throw out before the mask starts to slip.

I feel like everyone else has this capacity that I don’t, this extra space that, no matter how hard I work, I cannot reach. I am not miserable in my existence, and I do not want to be cured, but autism can be very heavy, especially when I’m trying to explain myself.

[heumilch]

AUCTOBER day 26: Fidgeting

An october art challenge by @autiebiographical

My whole life I have been reprimanded for fidgeting too much. Somehow the evasive behaviour I established with each new rule just escalated the self destructiveness

[bellalikesgarfield]

Auctober Day #16 Autistic Pride

I feel most proud when i meet other amazing autistic individuals 💪

[salty-autistic-writer]

The infinity sign is often used to show that autism is a spectrum and therefore stands for a complex disorder that includes a variety of strengths and challenges.

It can also show that autism is a part of us for our entire life. A part that affects us forever. (Auctober Day 2: Infinity)

[lovely-english-rose]

for @solangelo and @solangeloweek theme rainbow!

something really experimental bc fuck it we ball

[zoobiefish]

Day 10: Self-Advocacy

Having a neurodevelopmental disability often means getting talked over, unfortunately. The moment they know I’m Autistic, most people tend to treat me as if I’m a child. I know this is sadly the experience of most of us on the spectrum. I’m a university student in my mid-20s earning an honours bachelors degree in psychology, yet I often get spoken down to. Not only that, but I’ve had people treat me outright with hostility when they found out I was Autistic; like I was a nuisance just for existing. I’m in a precarious position because I’m also considered “high functioning” by clinical standards. In no way am I saying “I have it worse” than “low functioning” Autistics, not by a long shot—nor am I saying our experiences are comparable. This isn’t any kind of “oppression olympics” or competition of any kind. But as someone who is “high functioning,” and considering this is my post, I will be talking about my personal experience and the specific nuance that comes with it. Additionally, please know that I’m not a fan of “functioning labels.” I am only using them here to describe myself as I would be described in clinical terms. Anyway, being high functioning means very specific and often contradictory expectations are put on me. I often don’t “look Autistic enough” for people to take my disability seriously. And anytime I’m legitimately struggling because of my very real disability, I get told to “suck it up” or that I’m “faking for attention” or something along those lines. I’m privileged enough to be able to speak and advocate for myself, yet it often still falls on deaf ears. At best, I’m just treated like a child and not the adult that I am. At worst, I’m treated like a pest. I need support, but I don’t need it “enough” in people’s eyes to “justify” needing it. I’m a leech in their eyes. I find being high functioning means that I feel compelled to mask more too. I recognize that being able to mask at all is a privilege, but it doesn’t make it any less stressful. Everyone expects that because my Autism is “mild,” I have some sort of unwritten duty to be performatively neurotypical 24/7. And that is cognitively exhausting. I just had several major tests in my uni program and I’m finally on break for a week, but I’m so burnt out now. I wanted to do a more relevant drawing for today’s prompt but then I thought “you know what? My art *is* my self-advocacy. So I’m gonna advocate by being honest about how tired I am.” I need a break. I need less stimulation. I need less expectations. I need to shut the blinds to my room and curl up with a favourite show. I have advocated my needs now.

[gayhenrycreel]

auctober day 25: pets

this is Squishy. she is angry and shrieks like a cougar, but is very cute and loves to stim.

she rubs her paws on smooth surfaces like she is digging, and she likes to be gently shaken (i call it jiggling). Squishy loves to be carried in a basket and she runs in circles in it, purring and screaming (her happy scream is different than the hate scream).

i get along with Squishy very well. i squeeze her because she likes being compressed, and she lets me squeeze some of her mush (only on the back of her neck). Squishy has EDS, so she has lots of very squishy velvety skin. her armpit flaps are like wings. i call her flabby skin her mush, and squeezing it is one of my favourite stims.

ive had Squishy since i was 4, shes old but still runs at full speed through the house.

she has many signs of autism (if she were human), specifically passive demand avoidance type. the only way to get her off a chair is to hold the chair and lift until its at least vertical. pulling Squishy off doesn't work because she digs her claws in, so the only solution is to get her to willingly move.

her claws are more curved than most cats, and she gets stuck in everything.

this causes her to scream so someone can rescue her. one time she got stuck in my shoulder. it was very painful because when she is stuck she thrashes. one time my mum found that she got stuck in the carpet and spun in circles, making it worse. Squishy had to be freed with scissors to cut the carpet.

i love Squishy, in spite of her rage. when i got back from a psychward she tried to climb me. she slept in my room for a whole week and i would write my spec bio project while she sat on my back (she refused to get off and i had to give her a ride).

Squishy is a very precious baby, no matter how much she makes disgusting noises with her flabby lips.

@autiebiographical

[jstillman98]

DAY 6 - Individuals

Autism is a non-linear spectrum, and you'll meet all kinds of people on that spectrum ^v^

[rusty-clockworks]

Auctober prompt 28: safe foods

My autistic safe foods: a Moodboard

[autiebiographical]

Day 20 of Auctober!

Executive dysfunction is too often labeled as "laziness" or "obstinance" when in reality it's essentially your brain saying "NO!" against your will.

It needs to be de-stigmatized and better understood. The more we learn about it the more we can do something about it.

[strangeygirl]

Auctober 2024 day 22 : Disabled

I am disabled. I struggle starting mundane tasks, get perceived as rude, weird, blunt, dumb or naive, need to be told exactly what I need to do, can't focus on what I don't care about and rarely bother to step out of my comfort zone for strangers. I know it will put me in difficulty in the future, and none of this would be if I was Neurotypical. I am Autistic and it is a disability, the end.

Have my cat looking very fluffy as a bonus :

[oswald-can-draw]

I have been given or have given myself a lot of unkind labels over the years — ones that I’m still unlearning. I know that some things will never go away. Certain feelings, certain memories, certain fears.

I remember what it was like to grow up different, and to play along with cruel jokes because it was the only way I was included in anything. I remember doing embarrassing things for attention. I remember being called weird and a crybaby.

But those memories, and what people thought about me then and now, do not make me who I am.