#auctober

[youdontlookautistic]

Auctober: Individualism.

This one is late, and I was gonna do the whole month, but let me explain.

This comic is what made me survive October. About a week ago I was forced to go no contact with my entire family, for 2 years, because they couldn’t respect me or my boundaries. I held on to this, my truth, as I struggled to deal with their abuse. Abuse I hadn’t been able to truly recognise until the past 6 months, that all came to a head now.

It has been a… revelation, let’s use that word. It’s been a revelation to realise I’ve grown up in a family I specifically wasn’t allowed to be disabled in. The ableism was so hard core it arcs into ego and narcissism.

I wasn’t allowed to have needs or wants, I was expected to be independent even though it was obvious to everyone outside my family that I needed support, and help. And if I wasn’t, I was shamed, controlled, ignored, dismissed, invalidated.

And while the pain of going no contact with those I truly, honestly believed supported me the most has threatened to bury me, I now hold onto my self. I hope and trust that there’s something in me that can help others. It’s my self that is my oxygen mask, in the darkest night.

I’ve never had that before.

AND IT’S AMAZING.

Also as a 2nd year art student this is my first comic.

@autiebiographical ran the month of Auctober! Thank you.

[autiebiographical]

Day 11 of Auctober!

Internal ableism is so hard to unlearn. It's a big part of my self esteem issues.

You're not a burden. You're not a disappointment. You're not a mistake. You are awesome!

[jstillman98]

DAY 11 - Unlearning Ableism

In case you need to hear it today...

You deserve love, and you deserve to live. Thank you so much for being here. 💛💜❤️

[sclangelc]

their clown names r dilly and dally. if u point out my typo ur gay

auctober day 17 clowns i totally didnt nepo baby this theme for @solangeloweek

[oswald-can-draw]

It’s hard to remember that I have a disability, especially in the “if no one can tell, you’re not disabled, you aren’t” society that we live in.

I find myself making socially acceptable excuses for my burnout/inattentiveness/awkwardness. Sometimes that’s for the best, but it can be exhausting. There’s only so many “just tired”s and “just woke up from a nap”s that I can throw out before the mask starts to slip.

I feel like everyone else has this capacity that I don’t, this extra space that, no matter how hard I work, I cannot reach. I am not miserable in my existence, and I do not want to be cured, but autism can be very heavy, especially when I’m trying to explain myself.

[heumilch]

AUCTOBER day 22: Disabled

An october art challenge by @autiebiographical

I got an offical diagnosis for my learning disabilty as a child, but it did not help me as much as it should have

[bellalikesgarfield]

Auctober Day #16 Autistic Pride

I feel most proud when i meet other amazing autistic individuals 💪

[salty-autistic-writer]

The infinity sign is often used to show that autism is a spectrum and therefore stands for a complex disorder that includes a variety of strengths and challenges.

It can also show that autism is a part of us for our entire life. A part that affects us forever. (Auctober Day 2: Infinity)

[lovely-english-rose]

for @solangelo and @solangeloweek theme rainbow!

something really experimental bc fuck it we ball

[gayhenrycreel]

auctober day 25: pets

this is Squishy. she is angry and shrieks like a cougar, but is very cute and loves to stim.

she rubs her paws on smooth surfaces like she is digging, and she likes to be gently shaken (i call it jiggling). Squishy loves to be carried in a basket and she runs in circles in it, purring and screaming (her happy scream is different than the hate scream).

i get along with Squishy very well. i squeeze her because she likes being compressed, and she lets me squeeze some of her mush (only on the back of her neck). Squishy has EDS, so she has lots of very squishy velvety skin. her armpit flaps are like wings. i call her flabby skin her mush, and squeezing it is one of my favourite stims.

ive had Squishy since i was 4, shes old but still runs at full speed through the house.

she has many signs of autism (if she were human), specifically passive demand avoidance type. the only way to get her off a chair is to hold the chair and lift until its at least vertical. pulling Squishy off doesn't work because she digs her claws in, so the only solution is to get her to willingly move.

her claws are more curved than most cats, and she gets stuck in everything.

this causes her to scream so someone can rescue her. one time she got stuck in my shoulder. it was very painful because when she is stuck she thrashes. one time my mum found that she got stuck in the carpet and spun in circles, making it worse. Squishy had to be freed with scissors to cut the carpet.

i love Squishy, in spite of her rage. when i got back from a psychward she tried to climb me. she slept in my room for a whole week and i would write my spec bio project while she sat on my back (she refused to get off and i had to give her a ride).

Squishy is a very precious baby, no matter how much she makes disgusting noises with her flabby lips.

@autiebiographical

[zoobiefish]

“You don’t have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don’t have to know what to say or what to think

You don’t have to be anybody you can never be

That’s alright, let it out, talk to me” —Cavetown

Day 11: “Unlearning Ableism”

For today’s prompt, I decided to make a kandi bracelet based on “Talk to Me,” a song by Cavetown. One of the hardest parts of being Autistic is reminding myself that just because my disability is “invisible,” doesn’t make me any less disabled. I also constantly have to remind myself that I don’t need to always live up to neurotypical standards. I’m fine as I am and it’s okay if some days are too much for me. It’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to not be giving everything my 100% all the time. My hope is that one day when I’m finished my degrees and I become a clinical psychologist, I’ll be able to pass on this same message to my clients.

[autiebiographical]

Day 20 of Auctober!

Executive dysfunction is too often labeled as "laziness" or "obstinance" when in reality it's essentially your brain saying "NO!" against your will.

It needs to be de-stigmatized and better understood. The more we learn about it the more we can do something about it.

[jstillman98]

DAY 6 - Individuals

Autism is a non-linear spectrum, and you'll meet all kinds of people on that spectrum ^v^

[forrestbrine]

auctober day 17: repetition

atfirst i was like "oh i must be like weird or not autistic because i dont have a strict need for routine" but then i realized i was taking the EXACT same route to school and work each day and I would get super anxious if it was different. i eat the same 3 foods constantly and my music taste is the same handful of songs on repeat. i would have to "mentally prepare" myself before i went somewhere new. it was crazy. i would find myself stuck and unable to do much of anything on days I didnt have school during school time, being anxious about doing my chores on saturday because i normally do chores on a sunday, and more and more that I could list but i realized i was essentially holding myself to a stereotype (i must not be autistic because I dont have a strict daily schedule) but then i saw more and more small things.

self discovery is wonderful isnt it? "oh, THATS why i do that"

[oswald-can-draw]

I have been given or have given myself a lot of unkind labels over the years — ones that I’m still unlearning. I know that some things will never go away. Certain feelings, certain memories, certain fears.

I remember what it was like to grow up different, and to play along with cruel jokes because it was the only way I was included in anything. I remember doing embarrassing things for attention. I remember being called weird and a crybaby.

But those memories, and what people thought about me then and now, do not make me who I am.

[heumilch]

AUCTOBER day 26: Fidgeting

An october art challenge by @autiebiographical

My whole life I have been reprimanded for fidgeting too much. Somehow the evasive behaviour I established with each new rule just escalated the self destructiveness