#but also something is DEEPLY FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG WITH HIM
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fagofgod · 19 days ago
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making some plainly stupid and terrible choices in regards to what to spend my time on
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akemiiya · 1 month ago
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thinking about how self-loathing is the core of siffrin's character. so much of siffrin's issues revolve around thinking that there is something inherently, fundamentally wrong with themself. they're disgusting, terrible, a fraud. people only love siffrin because they don't know the truth. but when they do, they'll surely hate siffrin. they'll surely leave siffrin. they'll realize that siffrin is not, and never was, worthy of their time or attention or love. it's only a matter of time.
but then loop is confronted with an alternate version of themself. and they act like a jerk sometimes, but they also show so much genuine care for siffrin's wellbeing. they try to tell siffrin to let go of the things that hurt him, they try to talk siffrin out of doing things he'll regret, they get mad on siffrin's behalf when he's wronged by others. when siffrin is in need of help, they push aside their personal reservations and hurt and complicated feelings about seeing their friends again to do what is necessary to get siffrin that help he needs.
and siffrin, though they find loop annoying, is fond of them. they care about loop deeply and see loop as someone important to them. when asked by loop to kill them, he laughs and says he doesn't hate himself so much that he would literally kill another version of him. finding out that loop was themself all along doesn't make them think any more negatively of loop. it doesn't change how he feels about them. loop is loop. they are siffrin, and they are siffrin's friend.
there's something about looking at yourself from an outsider's perspective, and not feeling any of that instinctual disgust that so often follows you everywhere you go. seeing yourself as what you are, a person. as someone who is flawed, and being able to recognize that those flaws don't make you irredeemable. realizing that you aren't as terrible as you thought you were. and that despite everything, you are deserving of love. because the proof is right in front of you.
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the-knight-of-the-stars · 3 months ago
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Are we gonna talk about how that finale entirely erased any conversation about class divisions or are we too focused on ships?
Are we gonna talk about how Caitlyn for a good chunk of the season willingly enforces violence and opression against the lowest class, no doubt directly causing more deaths and suffering, and she is forgiven by the narrative without any meaningful reflecting?
Her great moment getting together with Vi is right after she JUST had a conversation with Jinx where we see she STILL doesn't recognize any class bias she clearly has, insted making it about HER.
Her and the other enforcers are treated like noble heroes in the final battle, all the blame put on Ambesa. Vi's happy ending is getting into a relationship with the exact type of person who perpetuated all the suffering she endured as a child.
Are we gonna talk about how Jayce never leaves his privilege pedestal, never actually reflects on how he was also enforcing violence to the people of the undercity and living on his bliss of progress at THEIR expense?
Jayce, who got help on every step of the way to get to where he is, who wasn't disabled, who never lived the kind of poverty or class obstacles Viktor did, who never recognized the harm he enabled and was complicit to, HE was the one to tell Viktor "People build their own destiny." and "There is beauty in imperfection" ?????
Not to mention the whole bit where he implies Viktor did all that because he wanted to "eradicate what he thought was weakness"??? Didn't we stablished Viktor wanted to HELP THE PEOPLE FROM THE UNDERCITY TO HAVE BETTER LIFE CONDITIONS?? don't try to gaslight me.
I know this is just a TV show, but I need to remind everyone that what perpetuates opressive, discriminatory and violent systems as long and as deeply as they do is indiference. Is turning your head and enabling others to stay ignorant.
Edit: You guys are misunderstanding me. And I admit it is probably my fault, I wrote this high with emotion I wasn't as eloquent.
Jayce's exact choice of words or his time living in the alternate world is nowhere near my point.
My point is, that the narrative is establishing that the privileged character, is the one that has to show (and is quite literally, textually, always the one to show) the underprivileged character that "he was looking at life the wrong way." Forgetting that Viktor's journey of feeling powerless was greatly influenced by the fact he was poor and from the undercity.
That's what I meant by it erasing the part of the plot about class systems. In the end, the story only requires Jayce to understand Viktor's struggle on a superficial level, but the text never recognizes that it as the product of a deeply rooted SYSTEMIC ISSUE. One Jayce and even Viktor on some level, benefited from and perpetuated.
Understanding Viktor still doesn't give him any moral ground, and nobody ever challenges him on that because the story isn't interested in that anymore.
And the same with Caitlyn. She knows what she did what's wrong, fine, she feels bad. Like I said, she still has a class bias, and no character challenges her on it again because the story derails to magic and fighting and whatnot.
The plot just forgets (or ignores) that layer of the story despite it being so prominent up until now.
And ignoring the class discussion does a disservice to every single character because they were initially built on it. You can see it in how they lose the essence they had on s1.
I know y'all love the characters and want to empathize with all their motivations, okay? But the fundamental issue is that characters also represent things, and more so in a story as political as this one. We also have the right to point out that the show told us they represented something and then abandoned that narrative.
What do I think they could have done differently? If I tell you scene by scene we could be here for an entire year. The gist of it is: I think they should have stuck to the character themes they already had established.
Vi as someone fiercely loyal to the undercity beyond her relationship with Powder/Jinx, and being "cursed" by the role of the older sister. Jayce as someone with good intentions but who is ultimately limited by his blind idealism. Mel as a cunning politician who thinks she is on the right path because she isn't violent like her mother, not realizing she is still perpetuating it. Caitlyn as someone kind and compassionate who realizes the institutions she believed in are fundamentally flawed, and because of the way they are built will never be on the side of kindness. Etc, etc.
None of that gets any meaningful resolution.
I am glad if you liked it, or got something from it, you are entitled to your opinion.
I wanted to say this because I was angry, and still am. Because there was so much incredible potential, and honestly, to me, it feels like the writers chickened out on actually saying something in the end.
That's all I have to say about that.
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volchitsa-of-winterfell · 8 months ago
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the way patrick zweig is so clearly a creature of desire; so fundamentally hungry. always devouring, uncaring of how desperate he might appear for it—taking a bite of the line judge's bagel sandwich before he even sits down; scarfing down his hotdog before grabbing a bite of art's, and then later treating their churros exactly the same way; picking the cigarette that tashi slapped out of his mouth up off the literal alleyway street so he can finish smoking it. acting on his hungers without asking permission first.
the way art donaldson is comfortable expressing desire without acting on it; content to yearn. mr. i-do-what-she-says-and-then-i-win obediently drinks his green juices, his electrolyte mixes; he lays his heart on the table for tashi, twice, and lets her decide when to take it; he tells her he wants to kiss her, but then lets her come to him to actually do it. a lapdog, just like patrick says: he'll turn his pleading eyes to you, desire writ across every line of him, but he is too well-bred to ever snap and just take.
....except, of course, with patrick; but even then, only when he can sublimate his desire for patrick into the appearance of desire for another woman. snapping at the churro when patrick calls him out over sowing doubt in his relationship with tashi is the obvious one, but also the fact that art is the one to come first in their mutual-masturbation experience when talking about kat zimmerman (how much of it was because of miss zimmerman and how much of it was art letting himself imagine patrick with her?). patrick, in the churro scene, describes it as seeing art "lit up about something," and while he's not wrong i think it's more specific than that. art feels deeply, keenly, but he guards the flames of his desire so carefully; banks them down and keeps the embers glowing for years. tashi is content to meet art halfway, to take the quiet longing invitations he extends. patrick is not. his desire, his hunger, is bigger than that. he wants to see sparks fly. how perfect, then, that he is the only one who can bring that out of art. he does exactly that with the racket-neck signal, and art (once he's over his shock) is once again lit up; ready to take the win, not to have it handed to him.
the way tashi duncan understands them both, perfectly, from their very first night in that hotel room that was so formative for all three of them. she kisses art first, because she already knows that if she kissed patrick first, art would take that as a rejection and retreat; put his desire away. she kisses art first because she knows patrick will not give up on his own desires that easily. she understands how to stoke art's desires and how to temper patrick's and teach him patience. and because of that, she gets them both: she doesn't have to choose.
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gaywineauntsstuff · 2 months ago
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Dick Grayson is my favorite lil guy
And my favorite way of consuming content of my favorite lil guy is the core 5 titans
There is also about 5 billion pieces of media where these 5 interact and some of it sucks so here I am scrapbooking canon together with glue and scissors so I can talk about how I view Dicks relationship with the other OG titans and how different these relationships are from one another while all still being boiled down to found family love
Dick & Donna: Listen. To. Me. These two aren't besties, or fav teammates or siblings. These two are the sun and earth revolving around each other except they each think the other one is the Sun. Dick Grayson and Donna Troy are the blueprint for platonic soulmates. Dick and Donna make everyone around them believe in ancient story by plato "humans once had 4 arms and legs and 2 faces and the God Zeus split them in half for their hubris and now they are destined to roam the earth forever looking for their other half". If y'all think Dick wasn't doing well after Jason died?? Donna Troys death fundamentally changed who Dick Grayson was and how he was written in teams for years. Donna Troy and Dick Grayson absolutely have debated getting platonically married (not canon but it is in my heart) and the only reason they haven't is BC if they do, Donna will kidnap Dick and never let him within 1000 feet of Bruce Wayne and Gotham.
Dick & Roy: remember how I said Dick was fucked up post Troias death in the comics? yeah? Roy Harper is the only reason he made it out of that period of his life alive. These two are like fire and Gasoline, they're quick and angry and always inexplicably near each other. They are VICIOUS with one another in a way they almost never are with anyone else. They try so hard to ruin their relationship bc implicitly they know (unless its the new 52 which I ignore for my own mental wellbeing-hey I did say this was a scrap book of canons) they'll always be there for each other. Roy Harper never misses, Dick Grayson cannot fall and yet Dick is there to hold Roy when his hand trembles and Roy is there to catch Dick when he loses his Grip.
Dick Grayson is the first person Roy calls to get Lian
Roy Harper is the designated keep Dick Grayson alive even if he has to tie the bastard up-
Dick (and wally depending on the run) help Roy with his addiction)
these two are each others roman empires
Dick & Wally: to cut back on the pretentious seriousness of this post. Every time these two are drawn together be it 80s road trips or being the most likeable part of tom Taylors run. Wally west always reads like he's about to invite Dick to swing with him and his wife. If you see them as platonic, romantic (right person wrong time is my favourite Fanon flavour but canonically I like em besties) or somewhere in between Wally West is always Dick Graysons best friend. There is something so wholesome about the fact that Wally canonically stalks checks up on Dick Grayson as much as he does his wife and twins and Dick who is a bat, notorious for expressing their love via breaking into your house and doing your casework for you. Is getting stalked checked up on by someone who loves him without it triggering his "see obviously you're not good enough they're literally babysitting you" paranoia. its like meeting your partners love language needs but its for deeply messed up individuals. They canonically call themselves best friends, and while Dick will always love Roy he always Likes being around Wally (as well as love him but that's a given)
(sidetone are you even besties if people don't think you're dating when they meet you?)
Dick & Garth: The amount of trust, love and respect that tempest holds for Nightwing melts my damn heart (but then again everything garth does melts my damn heart, baby Garth you will always be famous) they are such an underrated pairing and I love the fact that no matter the media, whether they're rivals like in the cartoons or Garth deferring to Dick as leader to the point where he disobeys aquaman (rebirth) Bc yeah THATS how much my purple eyed perfect boy trusts wing. There is always this really sweet understanding that Garth can go to Dick for advice (he asks for Donna advice in titans and advice on his relationship with Dolphin in the comics). And him and Dicks reunion post RIC? I love them sm. Its just... There was also a period of time where Garth was the only titan with sense and tbh sometimes its refreshing to see that when the rest of them (except donna she was dead at the time we never say a bad word about donna in this household) are being fucking insane
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revengesworn · 1 year ago
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Mikey is tired.
Tired of running, tired of hurting. Tired of keeping everything buried inside so deep that it feels like he's drowning. But Kazutora's words... they resonate so strongly that Mikey suddenly feels like maybe they really are the same. Is that even possible? That there's someone who experiences the same thing... and he hadn't realized it for so long?
( 'It feels a little better when you aren't on your own.' ) ...How stupid he's been. How stupid, and selfish, to hope.
"How do you resist it?" Mikey asks, and without even realizing it, he's finally lowered the gun. But that won't take away Kazutora's wound, or stop the blood that's still pooling on the floor. "I know... that you killed my brother. And Baji. But you haven't killed anyone else since, right? You're living a normal life, now."
Maybe he's wrong in that assumption. Certainly, Kazutora's life seems to be anything but normal, if he's come here after Mikey to begin with, and based on what he's said today. But at the very least, he isn't the leader of Tokyo's biggest crime syndicate, for god's sake. And... when Mikey speaks again, his whole body is statue-still. There's no trace of movement in him, or any emotion in his eyes, save for the slight trembling of his right hand.
"...You know Sanzu, Kazutora? I was the one who gave him those scars. He did nothing to deserve it. I just wanted to hurt him. We were kids, but... I ripped his mouth apart - even when he screamed and cried and begged me to stop. He could've died." At this point, he doesn't know if his words will scare Kazutora away. But the point he wants to make is...
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"Nothing happened to make me like this. It's not grief or trauma that changed me. I've just... been twisted from the very start."
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It's strange to be on the opposite side of that look. Because Kazutora understands what is happening, he's felt that onset of when everything seems so far away, when you're no longer in control of your body but a mere spectator to the actions that are carried out.
" That's where you're WRONG Mikey. " Kazutora says softly - not in a way to downplay or simplify the situation or offer false comfort, but soft in a rueful, experienced way as he wipes the sweat from his forehead and ignored the painful throb from the gunshot wound. " I do get it. You feel helpless, right? It takes over, your body just moves on your own and before you know it...you've done something you can't take back. " He knows that too well, just like he knows each of his demons in his head to have torn his life apart. " And no one else understands. How could they? If anything, it will just scare them away so you try to hide it so they never see it, so they never know. " He knew, he'd known that all his life.
The injured tiger listens intently to Mikey all the same, even as he feels the familiar hands of his own demons sinking their claws in his head. Mikey is physically strong - but he supposes they're both broken when it comes to their mentality. And you can't save someone else when you're drowning too. In the end, you both end up drowning.
" I don't know if I can, if I'm honest. I'm not that different. " Kazutora admits, his gaze falling for a moment. He's no hero. He's always the one clawing desperately for someone to save him. " I'm not very good at saving people...my claws always end up hurting those I don't want to. " He whispers, voice wavering before he clears his throat. " You might kill me. I might hurt you. But at least...at least neither of us would be alone. It feels a little better when you aren't on your own. " He offers a thin smile, exhausted but genuine in its rueful nature. " I'll take that risk. I don't have much going for me anyways. " Not anymore, not for many years.
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anneapocalypse · 5 months ago
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On Wuk Lamat, and Female Characters in FFXIV
The Thing with Wuk Lamat is you can tell me you think she had too much screentime; you can give me numbers on how many lines she had or how many scenes she's in relative to other characters or other expacs; you can prove to me "objectively" that she gets more focus than other main NPCs; you're simply not going to convince me that this is something I should be unhappy about. And not just because it's silly to think you can use numbers to prove a story is good or bad and make someone else go, "Wow, you're right, let me just throw away all the joy I experienced with this story and revise my opinion because you've scientifically proven to me that I'm wrong."
Because while I love Final Fantasy XIV and I have greatly enjoyed its story in so many ways, fundamentally one of my biggest beefs with this game has been how much female characters have been denied complex character arcs and growth and agency and interiority.
Minfilia gets treated as a sacrificial vessel who lives for everyone but herself and doesn't even get to have feelings about her own death because that entire arc is focused on a male character's angst about it instead. The game tells us in the Heavensward patches that Krile sees Minfilia as her best friend and then just forgets about that later and never follows up on what that loss must have meant to her. Ysayle is basically right about most of what she's fighting for but harboring a bit of self-delusion is apparently such a terrible sin that she has to pay for it with her life, while her male foil is deemed so worthy of salvation that there's a whole plot point about how important it is that we risk our lives and others' lives to save him. Y'shtola is a major character who's been around since the beginning, and the game keeps dropping maddeningly interesting things about her (apprenticed to a cranky old witch in a cave! saved her own life and the lives of her friends with an illegal and dangerous spell and it worked! reserved and undemonstrative yet regularly through her actions reveals herself to be deeply caring! disabled!) and then shows complete disinterest in following up on any of those things with the kind of depth and care shown to male characters with complex arcs like Urianger.
In general there is also a repeated thread of female characters being portrayed as weak or overly emotional: Minfilia is weak because she doesn't fight and needs to be eaten by a god in order to gain "a strength long sought." Krile is portrayed as not being able to pull her weight with the Scions (despite the fact that she actively keeps five of them from dying in Shadowbringers) and the only thing they could think of for her to do in Endwalker was be yet another vessel for Hydaelyn (hmm, that sounds familiar) and it's not until Dawntrail that she gets much actual character development in the main story and even that has to come alongside "Look, she can fight now so that means she's useful." (And I love Picto!Krile, I'm just saying, there's a pattern.) Alisaie, despite having very good reasons for needing to find her own path apart from her brother, is portrayed as having to prove herself when she returns, that she's "not the girl she once was," and "will not be a burden" (while Alphinaud is repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt and reassurance and affirmation from other characters even after he takes on responsibilities he isn't ready for and fucks up big time).
And if you follow me you know I adore Urianger, and I love Alphinaud and Thancred and Estinien too, so please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here! I'm not knocking those characters, or saying we shouldn't also love them. I just use them as a comparison to demonstrate how the female characters have been neglected.
Lyse has some of the stronger character development among the female Scions, and while she's still kind of portrayed as being too emotional and hotheaded in early Stormblood, I think it's actually explored in more depth in a way that I like; Lyse has good reasons for wanting to fight for her nation's freedom, but having been away from Ala Mhigo for several years now, she needs to understand the stakes for the people who've been there fighting for years, what they've lost and still have to lose. She grows as a person and rises to the challenge of leadership, and I'm even okay with the fact that she leaves the Scions afterward because it feels right for her to stay in Ala Mhigo, and at least she doesn't die.
And by all accounts she was, like Wuk Lamat, widely hated when her expansion came out.
Unironically I think the other female Scion with the strongest character arc is Tataru. She tries to take up a combat job, finds that it's not for her, and decides to focus on where her strengths are instead. In doing so, she both holds the Scions together as an organization in the absence of a leader by capably managing their finances, and also comes into her own as a businesswoman and makes international connections that benefit both the Scions and her personally. In contrast to Minfilia, she's not portrayed as weak because she doesn't fight, and is actually allowed to be an important character who's good for more than being sacrificed. Tataru is still distinctly in a supporting role for the player character, however, and her character arc happens as a side story that takes up a relatively small amount of screentime over several expansions, which I think is probably why she doesn't evoke such a negative reaction.
But there is a pattern of the game's writing showing disinterest in the interior lives of female characters generally, and in making their growth the focus of a story.
So yeah, I'm going to be happy about Wuk Lamat! I'm going to enjoy and celebrate every moment of her character arc, of her personal growth, of watching her put the lessons she's learned into action. I'm going to love and treasure every moment when she gets to be silly, embarrassing, emotional, scared, grieving, confused, upset, seasick, impulsive, and still deemed worthy of growing into a hero and a leader. I will love her with all of my soul and you simply will not convince me that it wasn't worth the screentime after such a profound imbalance for basically the entirety of the game. We've never had a major female character get such a strong arc with this much love and attention put into it and that means more to me than I can truly say. The backlash to it is disheartening, as this kind of thing always is, but I'm not going to let it ruin the wonderful experience I had playing it and how much joy it continues to bring me.
And for those of you who don't want any of that for a female character, thank goodness you have Heavensward and Shadowbringers and Endwalker and no one can take those away from you.
(And if you follow me you know that I love Shadowbringers and Endwalker and have very fond memories of Heavensward despite some issues with it, so not only can I not take that from you, I am not trying to!)
Some of us have been real hungry for a character like this with an arc like this, so, I think, y'know, maybe we can have that. As a treat.
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burningcheese-merchant · 3 months ago
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I NEED GENERAL HCS ABOUT YANDERE BEAST!!!
YOU GOT IT, BOSS 🫡
Mystic Flour is the only one who's self-aware and knows how fucked up and ridiculous all of this is. She hates herself and her friends for being this way, she hates Dark Cacao for making her feel this way (but also understands how unreasonable it is to blame him), she hates that she's ultimately been ripped away from enlightenment through this... disease that's been brought upon her. But she also can't change and doesn't really know how to (and the feelings are honestly so strong that they practically control her. She wants to obsess over Cacao but also doesn't. She has to endure a lot of cognitive dissonance and being at war with herself all the time, and it causes a massive mental and emotional strain on her), so she's essentially stuck with this bizarre infatuation with the man she's supposed to hate
Silent Salt is the most "successful" of the five, in that he makes the best effort to actually understand who White Lily is as a person and accommodate her accordingly. He knows what flowers she likes and brings her them. He knows what she likes to eat. He knows how she braids her hair (he learned that by watching her do it lol). Things like that. And he really, truly has no interest in harming her in any way, so he's also technically the least threatening one. Lily is more willing to put up with him than the others are with their Beasts because of this: he's able to demonstrate that he's capable of being docile, thus lulling her into a big enough sense of security that she doesn't run from him on sight. (But make no mistake, Salt is still creepy and a sick person and what he does is wrong. The dynamic between him and Lily is arguably the saddest one because Lily feels a certain sense of obligation towards him; she doesn't return his feelings but still feels sort of touched that he makes this effort for her, and also - more importantly - she feels like she has no right to judge or condemn him for his actions because of her own as Dark Enchantress. She's a bad person, too. So in a way, to some degree, she understands him. In fact, she almost has this misguided notion of maybe "fixing" him, as a consequence of him being so calm around her. They lose ground with each other whenever the yandere tendencies REALLY come out of Salt (as in, when she spends time with other people lol); he scares her and pushes her away further with his controlling behavior, she feels like she undoes whatever semblance of progress she made in "taming" him. They're trapped in a very strange and tragic loop where Lily is constantly victim-blaming herself and accidentally enabling Salt's obsession, and Salt is not facing proper consequences for his behavior nor fully grasping that he's being abusive.)
Eternal Sugar, having once been the Herald of Happiness, has experience with charming and pleasing others, and understanding one's joys and wishes. However, after becoming a Beast, she's come to ultimately place HER happiness before all others', and this mentality manifests in her attempts to woo Hollyberry. She'll give Holly happy dreams full of things she knows Holly likes (she, like Salt, actually does make an effort) - BUT, many of these things end up being warped to Sugar's own liking, as she is a fundamentally selfish person and believes her way is superior. Thus, whatever pleasant dreams she grants Holly always end up conforming to Sugar's own tastes (and she always does SOMETHING to Holly's friends and loved ones in them, because Sugar is extremely petty and jealous). Holly is not happy with this, but allows it to happen because she believes it's a better alternative to incentivizing Sugar to come to her in person (she hates enabling Sugar in this way, but Holly always prefers to try deescalation if and when possible). Holly honestly feels really sorry for Sugar, she thinks Sugar is a deeply sick and unhappy (haha) person and, like Lily with Salt, wants to help her. However, unlike Lily, she's more level-headed about the situation and fully grasps the gravity/severity of it all, and so everything she says and does with/to Sugar is extremely calculated so as not to antagonize her and risk retaliation (against her loved ones; Holly can handle herself and isn't afraid of anyone).
Shadow Milk, like Flour, also grapples with a level of cognitive dissonance regarding his obsession with Pure Vanilla, in that he is hateful and endlessly frustrated towards Vanilla but also genuinely adores him. He will be caught sweet-talking and kissing his Vanilla puppet, only to destroy it in anger moments later (and then he'll make another one to replace it, because he legitimately cannot function without Vanilla, even just a puppet version of him). He's waxing poetic about Vanilla's virtues in one breath, then hemming and hawing about Vanilla's flaws in the next. He's irritated by Vanilla's unyielding goody two-shoes nature, he wants to break his mind and spirit as completely as possible... but he also LOVES Vanilla's mental strength and endurance, it's his favorite thing about the man, he never wants Vanilla to break and hopes he stays strong no matter what Milk throws at him. He's cultivated a very Batman/Joker-esque dynamic between them in his mind; of course he wants to "win", but he also adores this game they play together and never wants it to end. Regardless, what underlies Milk's volatile emotions is a very strong sense, albeit deranged, of connection and kinship towards Vanilla. He loves Vanilla because they understand each other so perfectly, are on the same intellectual level (Vanilla is smart, Milk likes that, he wouldn't love him if he was dumb, the only thing dumb people are good for is cheap entertainment), and are ultimately, LITERALLY designed for one another. He hates Vanilla because Vanilla is refusing to accept Milk's POV about the world (not understand, he KNOWS Vanilla understands, VANILLA IS NOT DUMB!), is refusing his advances despite all the love and effort he puts in constantly (come on, who doesn't want to be romantically and sexually harassed inside their own thoughts?), and is actively hindering any other sinister plans Milk has in general (Vanilla knows how to play mind games too. He often stalls Milk for time to figure out how to properly outsmart him. And he always manages to do so, however long it takes). He loves Vanilla, he hates Vanilla, he loves Vanilla, he hates, Vanilla, BUT NO ONE CAN HAVE VANILLA BESIDES HIM REGARDLESS!
Burning Spice, on top of his feverish obsession with Golden Cheese in general, has an obsession WITHIN that obsession: he's obsessed with the concept of marking/branding her. Hickeys on her neck, bruises on her waist and stomach (be they from holding her or outright punching her), scratches on her back. Anywhere and everywhere he can reach with his hands and mouth, he wants to make his presence known, both to her and to anyone who sees her. And that's what's driving it: he wants people to see what he's done to her and know that it was him. It's a way to convey ownership of her. Golden Cheese is HIS, she is HIS to fight and beat and break, HIS to touch and taste, HIS to love and adore, and he wants to rub it into everyone else's face. (On the flipside, he actually would love if she did the exact same to him; nothing would bring him greater joy than her "claiming" him as he wants to "claim" her... and really, he just loves when she's feisty)
Apparently, there's an actual character limit to posts? So I guess I'll stop here lol. One factoid about each Yandere Beast. I have more to offer, all you have to do is ask for it
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ccieatchildren · 6 months ago
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I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:
“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”
And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that
This is Five’s love story.
Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.
He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.
It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!
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I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.
He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.
He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.
He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.
He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.
He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.
And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.
As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.
Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.
So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.
(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)
Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).
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Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.
Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.
But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.
And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.
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Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.
AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.
Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).
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Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.
This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.
(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)
(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)
It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.
Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.
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And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.
They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.
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queerfables · 1 year ago
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'Wilson' as an episode fucking slaps. I'm obsessed with Wilson's complete lack of boundaries and I'm obsessed with the way he acts out to express resentment while still being completely incapable of saying no. He gave a patient part of his liver!! The man is in no way hinged.
For all the emphasis that gets placed on Wilson's failed marriages and infidelity, we don't ever actually see it directly on screen. This is a narrative choice I love, for the record. We see Wilson's relationships through House's eyes and it allows us to understand Wilson as a deeply flawed person without ever making him unlikable, because Wilson's flaws and contradictions are what make him irresistible to House. It's so effective, the way these failed relationships say so much about Wilson's character while being constructed largely out of inference.
In this episode, though, we watch his inability to self advocate play out in real time, and I guarantee that this is what every one of his relationship meltdowns looked like from the inside. On some deep fundamental level, James Wilson doesn't believe "I don't want to" is a valid reason not to do something. You know the fantasy trope of an obedience curse, where the victim is inescapably compelled to obey other people's requests? Wilson casts that spell on his own damn self, and he'll hold true to it even to the point of violating his own bodily autonomy. When you lack boundaries like that, it becomes almost impossible to even know what you truly want, let alone to act on it. So Wilson says yes and yes and yes until it breaks him, and then he still can't say no.
When saying yes feels like surrendering to torture and saying no feels like committing murder, the only option left is escape. So Wilson goes out drinking to trash the liver he's going to donate. He gets dinner with the pretty nurse instead of going home to his wife. All of it is him scrabbling at the bars of his cage. And the irony is that the cage is unlocked, he just has to walk through the open door, and that's the last thing he could ever bring himself to do.
I'm pretty sure that when he went to Cuddy and told her his plan to donate, he wanted her to say no. She almost did! And I think she should have, because her first impulse was right, it is insane. Unfortunately this is the Insane Lack of Boundaries Hospital, and she can't actually be expected to guess when her employee's mouth is saying yes but his eyes are saying dear god no. By the rules of universe that House MD operates within, this doesn't even break a 7 on the "unhinged measures to save a patient" scale, and Wilson invoked the power of friendship. What was she supposed to do?
And through all of this, House is the person Wilson lashes out at. I love, love, love that House is the person Wilson lashes out at. Wilson can't even admit to himself that he's angry about the position he's in. How can he be angry when he's the reason the patient needs a new liver? But House sees right to the heart of everything going on with him, and he says all the things Wilson wants to be true and can't afford to believe. Because if he lets himself believe this wasn't his fault then he might not be able to say yes. And he's going to say yes. And he hates that he's going to say yes. And he hates that House knows he's going to say yes.
So he gets angry with House, because it's safe to get angry with House. He lashes out, because with House, he can. He tells House he's wrong about him, and demands House move out, and that's not at all what he really wants but he feels helpless and coerced and he desperately needs to exercise some kind of control over his own life. The fact that he can let go like this with House is in part about knowing House isn't ever going to leave him - the closeness of their relationship is always defined by what Wilson wants, House has never once pushed Wilson away and fights to reconcile when Wilson wants distance. But it's also about knowing that he can't hurt House by setting boundaries with him. Mostly this is because House will walk right over any boundaries he considers unacceptable, but in fairness, the fact that House is kind of a terrible person is part of his appeal. If Wilson had issues around other people violating his stated wishes, House would be the last person in the world that he should have anything to do with. But Wilson's issues lie in the fear that not being compulsively available and accommodating to everyone around him might permanently fuck up the life of someone he loves. House's fucked up life is never going to be Wilson's fault and even if it was House would still kind of deserve it, so Wilson's anxious people pleasing compulsion can chill the fuck out for five minutes at a time.
I don't want to idealise, there are times in their relationship when Wilson absolutely makes fucked up sacrifices for House. I don't think it's the case that he earnestly wanted to every time. But it's also true that House brings out authenticity in Wilson that few other people manage to. House knows him. House allows him to give in to his selfish impulses without guilt and consequences, and for all the people who love the best in him, House knows and loves his worst. While Wilson is caught up in trying to bend himself into whatever shape someone else needs him to be, what House wants more than anything is the truth. For Wilson, who is so out of touch with his own desires, being an object of fascination to someone obsessed with drives and motivations must be a rush. And if we accept the throughline of this episode, it might just be the case that House's boundary pushing and obsession is something Wilson needs.
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downbaddetective · 7 months ago
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I love how some people take Edwin saying that counting all of the cats in Port Townsend is impossible seriously. Like, if you don't like The Cat King that's fine, but we have the entire show showing Edwin being a dramatic ass bitch (and that's why we love him). Edwin Payne is in no way an unbiased party in most situations so I'm kinda confused as to why this one thing is taken as gospel. Edwin is being petulant when he says it because he doesn't want to do it and he also kinda struggles to admit he did something wrong enough to warrant consequences in the first place. However, in the end, he has successfully counted them all and I'm pretty sure he had done so before the trip to Hell. Not only that, but he enjoys the fact that it was something that he could and did, in fact, win.
And don't get me wrong, we know why it's an issue and why it's dangerous, but Edwin isn't infallible. He knew, he was told, and he still chose to go through with trapping the cat. Just because there is a lot more happening elsewhere doesn't mean that he shouldn't be held accountable for his actions (especially after he scolded Charles for the possession thing).
I love Edwin to bits, but watching people baby him frustrates me to no end because it takes away from his character. Let him be deeply flawed. Let him be messy. Because the whole point of these characters is to show that you can be flawed and yet still be a fundamentally good person.
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valehour · 7 months ago
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I swear to god if I read one more "Messmer/Marika did nothing wrong" post I'm gonna fucking lose it.
Guys, Gals, Nonbinary Pals etc.
Be fucking serious.
it's somewhat obvious that Marika's people's oppression, and the subsequent domination of the social order was inspired by christianity's oppression and then rise to power within the roman empire- going on to be the dominant religious order which, in turn, persecutes religious minorities. Like. that's only just subtext by tooth and nail. It does not at all justify either religious regime's atrocities. It is Exceedingly obvious the game expects you to understand that, to quote Leda "They [the hornsent] were never saints, they were just on the losing side of a war". this line, alongside the black knight helmet, and the crusade insignia Expects us to understand that maybe the whole "Marika ordering a crusade to genocide a people in the name of revenge" is wrong, actually.
As for Messmer, he is indeed a victim of Marika, like most of the demigods. it's just that he's also (arguably Firstly) a willing collaborator in these atrocities, he's not an innocent uwu snake sadboy.
If we are forced to compel a singular unnuanced 1 dimensional archetype onto Messmer, the game expects us to understand that it's "Demon King". he's doing Authurian Romance Villain shit as filtered through the lens of dark fantasy. it's not a coincidence that most of the information about him comes from other people about how much he's personally destroyed their lives. He lives in a castle called the "Shadow Keep" for god's sake, his soldiers torment the people and we, adventuring wanderers and followers of grace/Miquella fight and defeat him, which, were this a traditional story ultimately lets us access Enir-ilim and fix things. That were this a tradiitonal story, then defeating the "Demon King" sets the land back to right by enshrining the True, Good King (or god, such as Miquella is, in this case).
The fact it doesn't is the complication to this otherwise simple story- the fact that Messmer is also a victim of Marika's pursuit of revenge is important nuance, and adds to the tragedy of this story- simply killing The Bad Guy In Charge doesn't fundamentally fix things. It's that complication that makes them so deeply fixating as people. But there is a mountain of difference between "I find Messmer's tragedy Sympathetic and Compelling (and thus want to fuck him)" and "Messmer did nothing wrong". You do not get the title "The Impaler" by being innocent.
you are, in fact, allowed to be horny for the snakeboi or for Marika without actively ignoring the realities of their casual brutality. Actively making a pair of complicated, messy, tragic characters into something simple and easily digestible for maximising fuckability is not a sign of like, actually liking them. Love your genocidal warmongers as they brutally murder civilians or like, admit you don't actually like them, you like the flanderised imaginary version of them- an attraction no more substantive than the kind of R34 art that gives Ranni tits and hips broad enough to change her aspect ratio, instead of her cool weird fucked up doll body. You Cowards.
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justatalkingface · 8 months ago
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If society is the reason for the personality of Bakugo, why aren't there more Bakugos in society?
If "strong" quirks turn people into violent a**holes, why aren't Nejire, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and that loud wind quirk guy relatively well-adjusted to social interaction.
The answer is simple: because it isn't society's fault.
Like, don't get me wrong, it didn't help, that's for sure, but Bakugou's problem isn't society, it's that he's a jerk. Bakugou is unironically high on his own brand.
Part of that is how other people treated him, true (though it was happening even before he had a Quirk, so it's not society in the way it's usually used for Bakugou, where it's about his Quirk), because he was cool and competent as a kid, which made the kids praise him, which fed his ego, which made him want to do it more, in a vicious cycle... but even with that, there's still something unique to him that is at fault here: he's told, as a kid, that he has a good Quirk, and he can be a hero with it. This is basic, bog standard encouragement; it's a good Quirk, but he's, what, ten? That woman is probably telling every single kid that their Quirk is great. But Bakugou, though, he hears this, and his mind instantly snaps to a conclusion: he realizes that he's The Best, TM. That he's special, that he's better than everyone else. And that? That's not 'society', that's not the fault of people around him, that's Bakugou's fault, Bakugou's problem.
I'll be honest here, kids are stupid; Bakugou isn't the first kid to have a delusion of grandeur and he's not going to be the last. What makes it different with him, though, is that it's more than just a passing phase. That philosophy, his fundamental superiority, is a train of thought that remains with him for the rest of his life, and not only that, it is a cancerous logic that festers in his mind like a disease.
You know how Bakugou calls everyone else 'Extras'? That's the logical conclusion of his superiority complex, of the idea of that he alone is special, superior, the honored one: because if he's special, what is everyone else? Less then him. An extra in his story. Or, as Shigaraki would put it?
An NPC.
That's concerning. More than that, that is deeply alarming. Unironically, I think that counts as a mental disorder of some form (probably narcissism?), and it also inherently dehumanizes other people... which explains why he's so casual about hurting everyone around them.
And to be blunt? That's a very, very bad thing. Dehumanizing other people is how people are taught that it's OK to hurt others, or even kill them; fundamentally, Bakugou is radicalizing himself against everyone who isn't Bakugou.
If they are less than him, if they are not 'real people', if they are just extras... then it doesn't matter if he hurts them, insults them, because... why would it? It's not like they're actually people, it's not like they're important. They're just extras in The Great Story Of Bakugou. They're just NPCs in the Hero Game he's playing, and nothing else.
People do horrible, horrible things to NPCs in video games that they would never in a million years do to people in real life. They do it because NPCs don't matter, not like real human beings do. Think, for a minute, how you treat the random characters in Fallout or whatever, the nameless mooks you that will always more of, because they will always respawn after whatever you do to them. Think about what would happen if you did that to a real person.
You can even see it in how he acts in the various flashbacks back when he was a child: when he was young, Bakugou was brash, a bit aggressive, but largely an OK kid. But as time passed, his aggression grew, and his respect for others shrunk. He went from insulting people (at times probably accidentally), to actively bullying them. He became more and more comfortable not just verbally abusing others, but then physically hurting them. By the time canon starts, Bakugou seemed to treat, and consider, other human beings as barely more than trash, and Izuku's existence in particular as something like a cosmic mistake he was 'graciously' tolerating.
And then we find out that he was willing, in fact, to kill people. It's very likely that, if driven to a corner, that people may be willing to kill to survive, but that isn't what happened to Bakugou: he was in school. He was unironically playing cops and robbers.
And yet, Izuku's basic unwillingness to just... give up, to just sit back and let someone maim him as much as he wanted is what 'cornered' Bakugou to the point he resorted to overwhelmingly lethal force. He doesn't feel an ounce of guilt about it afterwords, either, and he only stops because he's threatened... with being kicked out of the exercise. He's not even serious about, he's willing to kill someone but he values winning more than his murder attempt, winning at something that's essentially worthless, even. It's an impulse, one that he doesn't ever question or think about again after the fact.
To be fair, his... radicalization, or just plain assholishness, got noticeably cut back after that point (to the point where it seems more like retcon than character development), but if it wasn't for that? Clearly, no one was willing to call him on things before, so if he didn't get serious consequences, and he had killed Izuku? He probably would have grown more and more comfortable with killing, the same way he did with everything else he's done.
But it's more than just that. His parents are... well, they're good people, but... they don't seem to be the best at making their son not be an asshat; both of them were pretty OK with their son calling his mother a 'hag', and not even in a sarcastic, well meaning way, but as an actual insult.
His mom is cut from the same cloth as her son (normally, it'd be the other way around, but Bakugou's character probably came first), if more restrained. Unfortunately, that means she's probably a source of a lot of his more aggressive behaviors in the first place, and not just in a genetic way: he watched what she did, and then learned to do it from her. She tries to get him to stop the worst of it but she doesn't seem to making a serious effort? It's not a serious punishment, or a heart to heart talk about his behavior, it's... basiclly the fan gag, which doesn't really teach anyone anything?
His dad, meanwhile is more passive, grounded, but at the same time: he married Bakugou's mother. He's clearly OK with behavior in that vein. It's good he's not contributing to the problem, but he's not solving it, either.
At the end of the day, while there are contributing factors, not of them are enough to explain, much less justify, Bakugou's actions or personality. Society didn't make him like this. No one taught him that it was OK.
The only one with responsibility was Bakugou himself.
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iliadicjasontodd · 3 months ago
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Do you have any Jason AO3 fic recommendations? Or just DC AO3 fic recommendations in general?
Hello! Hi, yes I do.
So, of course, anything by yutro @boyfridged, first of all, such as paint it over, black out days, & leave no trace, but genuinely all of their work is incredible. They understand Jason on a fundamental level- though to say he understands only Jason that deeply would do him and his writing which is so, so skilled, a disservice :))
the clay steals the clay by zipadeea is beautiful.
I'm sure you're familiar with it, but PLUTO. by orpheusaki @damianbugs is, imo, a classic. It recalls some of the feeling of some of the best parts of Countdown for me, for obvious reasons.
all of ceramicheart's (who I'm not certain would want me linking his tumblr blog!) work also- in particular redshift, but all of that series and, like I said, I love all of her work. ultimate Kyle Rayner understander & beautiful writer.
What the Living Do, Anonymous, is one of my favourite fics, esp as someone trying to give Jason Cotard's Delusion at every possible occasion.
last word WISDOM better get some even too late by Esmenet is one of my favourite fics point-blank. the Anne Carson of it all...
Get Used to Dying, by papered_king is one I always associate with the above, stylistically also! Love the meta of this, love theatre as horror.
a second darkness by vlnlr @batphobique. This absolutely blew me away, and the script format was, personally, a major bonus. I will probably be reading this over and over again.
mushrooms at sunrise by bleepbloopskoodlebop & Amble On (and your friends will surely find you) by Nightsrk both feature Jason dealing with schizophrenia, and I am very, very fond of both.
the Emergency Line series by crucifixinhell
i am what i am by luuma.
dirt by sunspikes. It's horror to me.
Time Loop fic! Ad Infinitum; Modified by familiarities (twistsandturns)
The Cold Like Coming Home by cabezas_de_vaca.
Smashing Tail Lights by CunningCrow @redactedcrow. I have read this about 5 times. I am still (very patiently) waiting for part two. It was, I think, the fic I read directly after reading Lost Days for the first time.
Apollo by sparkypants. the horror of never letting go!!! the horror of bruce wayne specifically never letting anything go!!!
Incomplete, but which came first (the robin or the grave) by figofswords @figofswords. Two years on I'm still hoping for more but it's very good as is as well!
do you listen to the girl in red, white, and blue? by ThatSpicySeaFlapFlap. Stephanie Brown girl of all time Stephanie Brown
Trapped by lurkinglurkerwholurks. I must have read it about 15 times whenever I'm feeling anxious. Because something is wrong with me.
Song of the Insensible by Jade_green.
The Whale by chucklesbuckles if you want some very terrifying Jason, & Get Joker by them (featuring maybe one of the only Harley Quinn depictions in a fanfic I've found compelling, not that I know her well) also!
Your reflection, your bitter deception & dust in my mind by KangaRou.
Bloodstains Won't Make It Matter by skylarkblue.
This is orphaned, but The Last Laugh.
Enough by Lunette3002.
Batman Kills the Joker by DragonflyxParodies & Palimpsest by cabezas_de_vaca both take interesting metatextual approaches to killing that stupid clown.
You're No Hero to this Story, Just Another Wretched Pawn by EventualToast. The way this is written is so genuinely unmooring and perturbing; it feels very authentically like derealisation and the true experience of profound horror despite most of that being magic.
To My Brother by a_silly_gander, I’d feel less like St. Sebastian if you’d stop searching for another arrow by worthy_willow, i know (do you know?) by cuephrase, imperfections can be nice by mikkal, Where You Perfectly Stand by cherrysour, what's in your head? by sinistercacophany @sinistercacophony (also has very good aftg fics, as an andrew enjoyer I come back to their work often), . I am at heart just sentimental about Dick & Jason.
the prophetic spring by yellow_caballero @yellowocaballero. I need you to understand I barely ever approve of Reverse Robin AUs. It's a thing. I talked about it extensively. I don't even care about or actively dislike a lot of the characters this au focuses on but it doesn't even matter here, seeing as I've been a fan of this author's writing for ages. So much tragicomedy. If you, or anyone reading this ask happen to be a fan of TMA do yourselves a favour and go read their TMA work also.
Late Night Langoustining by whaleofatime. I rarely read fluff but I'm very fond of this one.
Stage Directions by confusedrambler.
I mention sparingly but arkham!jason was my first foray into DC at all- and so naturally Ill Weeds Grow Apace by LananiA3O is something I've come back to, mostly for nostalgia nowadays. And trauma of course.
So if you want to absolutely ruin your entire day and possibly week and possibly several months, Of Broken, Blazing Wings by FrEShAVocaNoob. It absolutely wrecked me, I felt genuinely unwell after, but it was worth it.
Clearly Calm and Keeping Terrorised by Batbirdies & the Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul series by bacondoughnut are others I think everyone knows, but I thought I'd mention them anyway.
Anyway, I'm sure it shows that I've got a bit of one-track mind when it comes to characters I read fic about, but I hope this is a good collection for you. It took me two hours in one sitting but for some reason I can't write an essay for my master's degree? Fascinating.
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theonlyqualitytrash · 2 months ago
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The irony of Fyodor's words:
These words have always stuck with me when I started to reread the manga, especially with the recent chapters and Fyodor's behavior. He says something deeply philosophical, but also deeply ironic.
In the anime, he says:
“People are eager to believe that they are acting with free will. That they know best. They become so excited by their own discoveries that they give them too much value. We all loathe to believe we can be controlled.” (Season 3, Episode 4, 17:35)
And in the manga:
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"People, honestly, simply, wrongly assume that 'I thought so myself.'" (Vol. 10, Ch. 42, Page 35)
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At first glance, these two quotes seem to say something very similar—that people tend to overvalue their own thoughts and discoveries, believing them to be entirely their own, when in reality, they might be influenced by something (or someone) else. But here's where the irony kicks in: Fyodor himself embodies this very mindset.
Despite his belief that people are wrong to assume their thoughts are independent, Fyodor operates under the assumption that his philosophy is entirely his own. In truth, it’s shaped by a lifetime of suffering, trauma, and a near-obsessive need to control the world around him.
Fyodor’s theory—that all ability users should be eradicated—is rooted in his own experiences of feeling powerless and out of control. The abuse he’s endured, combined with his ability, has led him to view the world—and its "free will"—as fundamentally flawed. He believes that to restore order to this chaotic world, the gifted must be suppressed. Yet, isn't this philosophy itself an example of the very thing he criticizes in others? His conviction that he has discovered the "truth" mirrors the self-deception he critiques: the tendency to believe that his thoughts are purely his own, unaffected by external forces, including his trauma.
In a way, Fyodor is trapped in the very mindset he warns against: the idea that his conclusions are logical and independent, when they are actually the product of his suffering, his obsession with control, and his refusal to accept the chaos of human nature. His belief that he’s arrived at the ultimate truth—that ability users must be eradicated to prevent chaos—reflects the same misguided, self-affirming belief that he accuses others of having.
Fyodor, in his isolation and intellectual torment, has convinced himself that eradicating others' abilities is the only way to restore order. But this "discovery" is not a product of pure intellect. It is, instead, the result of his trauma and distorted worldview. The irony is that he has become the very thing he despises: someone who clings to his own belief as the ultimate truth, dismissing the possibility that his thoughts are shaped by his personal history, his suffering, and his need for control.
At the heart of this contradiction is Fyodor’s desperate desire for control. His philosophy isn't just intellectual; it’s emotionally driven, born of his experiences with powerlessness. In seeking to rid the world of chaos and disorder, he longs for a sense of security. But he fails to see that his quest for control is itself a response to his internalized trauma. His attempts to impose order are shaped not just by logic, but by his scars.
This leads us to the central irony: Fyodor cannot see that his belief system is flawed not because it's illogical, but because it’s emotionally driven. He claims to have transcended the emotional influence of others, yet in doing so, he becomes a prisoner of his own narrative. He cannot escape the fact that his thoughts, like those of the people he criticizes, are shaped by his fears, desires, and personal history.
Fyodor's rejection of external influence is, in the end, a perfect reflection of the flaw he exhibits: the inability to recognize that his thoughts are not independent, but deeply shaped by a lifetime of suffering and a need for control. He believes that he has arrived at the ultimate truth through intellectual reasoning, but in reality, his philosophy is just as much a product of his internal struggles as anyone else’s beliefs.
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Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk :>
Dividers: saradika-graphics
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I have a concept in my head of season 3 of OFMD being like...Ed needs to learn to be bad at things, and Stede needs to get used to being good at things.
It's going to be a huge adjustment for Ed, I think. He is so accustomed to this sort of massive success where he must be hyper-competent at absolutely everything that the learning curve is going to hit him hard. He's going to have crying breakdowns because he didn't manage to properly seal the roof on his first try. He's going to realize that it was maybe a bit ambitious to decide he wanted his first ever woodworking project to be intricately carving designs into the baseboard. He's going to have to learn that it's okay not to have an angle, and he's safe to just go out and fish not because he Needs that to be something he's Amazing at, literally life-or-death stakes, but just because it's something he enjoys.
And Stede. Oh boy. Stede is so used to being seen as a failure that it's integral to his self-perception, and at this point he's just accepted that Stede Bonnet Is A Failure. In some ways, this is actually going to help - Stede's used to trying, fucking up, and then trying again better. He's used to having to improvise and think on the go. In that way, he's a perfect fit for Ed's struggles, because he'll tackle all those little homemaking tasks with unfettered enthusiasm and a willingness to try and fail until he gets it right.
But because Stede is so convinced that he's a fuckup, he tends to just passively accept blame for everything. He won't even defend himself. Ed in s2 is already getting so much better about being able to put his fears and worries on the table, and if Stede is just blaming himself for everything, it's going to quickly become very one-sided. Ed's had a lot more growth here than Stede has, and getting feelings out of Stede will be like pulling teeth. I can easily see Ed starting to worry that Stede just isn't listening to him, and getting annoyed when Stede clearly doesn't like the furniture they picked for the living room even though he said it was fine. Stede's going to just roll over on most domestic squabbles and spats because he just assumes that Ed's right and he's wrong, and eventually Ed's going to catch on and worry that Stede just doesn't want to talk with him and compromise. When Stede just accepts full blame for things and assumes he's entirely at fault, it also means he's denying Ed needed explanations for why he did or said certain things.
I can so easily see the main challenge of the season being that Ed is ready to get married, he's excited to make this commitment, he knows they're it for each other and he wants this. Their wedding was super clearly foreshadowed, it's something Ed clearly wants very deeply. But Stede's first marriage was such a disaster, and he felt like a failure of a husband, and he's going to be terrified of that happening again. And that's just going to build and build until something gives and Stede realizes that he's hurting Ed by just assuming ahead of time that Stede is going to be a failure of a husband to him.
Just...Ed getting to learn that he's okay to not be perfect at everything he does, and the world won't fall apart around him. Stede slowly starting to see that he's genuinely not fundamentally a fuck-up, and he needs to have a little faith in himself for his relationship with Ed to be healthy. And both of them getting to be secure in knowing that they've got the other right there with them for support the whole way.
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