#but also seemed so beautiful in my head
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Too much in my Buddie feels today and listening to “Secret Love Song” by Little Mix (specifically the one with Jason Derulo) and just had this heartbreaking AU pop into my head where Buddie are partners for a dance competition, this is their song and it’s a little too telling on the dance floor and a little too telling to the world when they’re dancing and yeah I’m just yeah-
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 fox#911#buddie#911 abc#just a fic idea#not that I will ever write it bc I don’t know the first thing about dancing#but it just came to me and it hurt#but also seemed so beautiful in my head#their pining visible to the world#yet this is buddie#it ain’t that obvious#despite the soft way Eddie cups Bucks jaw at the end of the song and tips their foreheads against one another#the move that natural it looks like it should be part of the routine#but it isn’t#bc they should’ve moved away from one another#not gravitated towards eachother#and of course the firefam are watching from the sidelines#I feel like Maddie would be crying#chim would absolutely wanna knock their heads together#idk I’m just all up in my feels rn#chimney han#hen wilson#bobby nash#911 on fox#buddie fic
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purple hawke who, at malcolm's death, lost not only a father, a mentor, the single most stable and safe point in their world up until this moment. but also the only person in their life who would consistently, gleefully 'yes, and — ' them. the loss, in one fell swoop, of both a beloved parent and your sole willing — no, not only willing, enthusiastic — improv partner. truly, the most unkindest cut of all that the maker could have seen fit to deal. (there's always so much less laughter in the house, after malcolm's gone.)
and then after all the horrors of the blight and trying to make a new life in the shithole turned shithome of kirkwall....... they meet varric. and something that's been slumbering deep within their soul dries a tear of relief and joy and whispers 'oh we are so back'. and they are so right
#bound together by an oath more solemn and more sacred than any vow of marriage#(I'll be your yes and for life bro. I really mean it bro. your nonsense is safe with me bro./*bro*)#commitment to the bit. and also our friendship. queerplatonic life improv partners & bullshit enablers. a beautiful thing tbh#dragon age#dragon age 2#varric tethras#hawke#purple hawke#on second thought let's not go to kirkwall; it is a silly place#purple hawke seems in some way especially alone in their family to me in some ways? there's no one to 'match' them#blue hawke and bethany seem to understand each other quite well; red hawke and carver are kind of uh 'on the same wavelength'#for all that that wavelength involves constantly butting heads and being shitty to each other haha#with malcolm gone there's really no one else in the household who seems to resonate even in that way with purple hawke#varric seems to have a similar situation going in his own family too which like. I'm so glad these chucklefucks found each other haha#oh to have a best friend you could just play effortless nonsense tennis with for hours at a time again. I miss that in my life
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YOUTUBE SHORT CAN BE FOUND HERE (showing all their little details is just easier in video format)
@canisalbus i made your silly little dog men as a gift for a friend (we frequently scream at each other about them because they are precious and we mutually adore them) and yeah. That’s all. Here they are- Small beans that they are.
#also please excuse my nasty fingers that have paint superglued to them from making Machete’s bag#canisalbus#mchete#vasco#vaschete#clay#cosclay#kawaii style#sculpting#i guess#I mean it is sculpting but that seems like a very formal word for squishy little dogs#also my brother picked up machete before I had painted him (when he was still grey and nondescript)#and looked at me and asked ‘‘why’s he got a bunch of warts on the bag of his head?’’#poor machette and his head warts#I don’t know how else to depict fluff in clay#also I love vasco’s ears so much#they’re so huge and beautiful#small artist#my art#artists on tumblr
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lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection
#lime: yeah mochis not a huge deal i mean were friends#af (after affection) lime: *needs to dunk his head in the sink at least once a week trying to snap himself out of thinking about her*#anyway. its been a while since them i miss them#my recent development is taking away limes mochi cuddle time#it makes more sense for the slow burn if he cant cuddle with her whenever he wants#starve him#lime: (why would i like her shes so plain shouldnt i be with like some supermodel or something ??)#lime: (the kind of person everyone wants but cant have??)#also lime when mochi smiles at him: (i want to kiss the shit out of you)#i think there something about limes family where being a goldwood means being expected to be a cut above#where its ingrained they should only be/settle for the best of the best#so lime catching feelings for this (pre-reveal) very normal and plain forgettable girl that no one else seems to give a shit about..#...is a struggle for him#tiramisu thinks its laughable because the goldwoods arent part of the magic community#she thinks its hilarious how they are lowkey obsessed with being successful and top-notch when they literally have no idea whats going on#i dont think the goldwoods are even especially rich#maybe its just one of those (parents being hard on you so you can have a better life than they did) kind of things#but they are known to be a well-connected and beautiful family#any goldwood you meet i the prettiest person youve ever seen#i wonder if they were disappointed or proud of lime when they found out he joined the capitol guard#his sister became a dentist#maybe it was one of those (why would you join the military...youre going to struggle...)#and then he tells them his paycheck and all of a sudden theyre like (we're so proud!!!)#(the capitol guard in general has pretty normal pay but the m-34th gets way more as a specialized unit)
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This photo was life-ruining for me(and @sweatyflytrap ) honestly....
#wanna make a comp of bahrain 2010 for both seb and nando tbh#probably seperate but#there was something in the air that weekend!!!!#i was religiously looking through seb pics from this race the other month to draw statue seb#and was super enamored w him aasjkfkgl but didnt look too much depeer cause i didnt wanna spoil the podium#and then i finally got here and damn nando looked fucking majestic on the podium#like i was absolutely dying making those gifs bcs he just looked so beautiful#<- i actually made a comp of all the close up shots bcs bark bark bark 😵💫😵💫#AND THEN I GO LOOK UP THE PICS AND MY GOD 🫠🫠 LIFE RUINING#this pic is from before race day obviously but like smth was in the air no?????#all the podium pics live in my head rent free. golden and shining and beautiful#but i also downloaded like...100 pics of him from this race so jusy this one seemed pretty baseline to post#but just know. bahrain 2010. haunts me.#as i said im so irritated it wasnt a vett/onso podium bcs my god both of them were slaying that wknd#well yeha. there's my rant. maybe ill make a comp :)#smth also that i find funny is that he was pretty stubbly for the whole wknd but then#shows up for the race itself smooth like a dolphin....HE KNEW!!! HE KNEW HE HAD TO SLAY!!! HE KNEW HE WAS GONNA BE ON THAT TOP STEP#*lmao maybe my comp post would be titled: 'pics from the 2010 bahrain gp that were life changing'#im looking back at the podium pics rn and its just insane how youthful and bright and pretty he looks#also abt this specific pic. his lashes his big cow eyes his pink lips his fluffy hair GODDDDDDDDS#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2010 bahrain gp
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Does anyone else feel like the Della that was set up and the Della we actually got were two different characters.
Primarily I think Della's just dumber than we were initially lead to believe. And I think there's something in one of the first things we knew about her was that she had pretty handwriting, where I struggle to believe the Della is patient enough to have neat handwriting. The last Crash of the Sunchaser implied she designed the Spear of Selene. Scrooge said someone who "sees the angles". Like I get that don't speak ill of the dead was in play. And I also get wanting Della's legacy to not match perfectly with her true self, but some of the literally flashbacks we saw implied she was clever (she figured out Dewey was from the future, again, she was sketching the Spear). Having the characters stretch the truth is one thing, but flashbacks is another. I mean we literally saw her Scuba-Diving in a flashback, but in show she hates fish.
Not helped by the fact I assumed she named her children, and was using that as a gauge of her personality. And like. Turbo is very funny. I get why you'd make it a surprise reveal. Recontextualize her personality. But we already were introduced to her in the episode before. Also I just didn't like it tbh. (And kinda like my beef with the whole April May and June thing, I'm not a duck fan, I have no horse in this race, and things can be different, but considering to my understanding the few glimpses of previous iterations of Della, she definitely named her sons, and changing one of the few things that previously existed about the character felt weird to me, cheap even. On one hand I get wanting to show just how disconnected from her son she is and how much the incident cost her. But on the other hand it was just salt in the wound at that point, for a few jokes about the boys names… which have generally been changed to be even more embarrassing than they were previously for more jokes).
I really did like Whatever Happened to Della Duck. The only "Weird' things to me was how technically and artistically unsavvy she seemed to be, when we had scene her sketching the spear of Selene. Like that was a whole ass plot point. And also how oblivious she seemed to what was happening with the Moonlanders when she was presumably "sharp". But y'know. I can excuse one misunderstanding, and she was probably just a bit crazy from being alone on the moon for so long (and any prior mental health issues) and when she gets back other characters will probably be unnerved by her a bit because she's changed. But this was apparently normal Della (aside from not liking her reflection). If someone had spelled out in show the ways she had changed while on the moon I think it would have made all the difference. (Though Ducktales in general has an issue for completely neglecting to state important information until its necessary but long after it was relevant, so the fact no one says that doesn't mean it can't be true tbh).
I think the core of the character, and thus why she caught my attention remained. She's a traumatized woman who did something impulsive (that should have been fine), that had disproportionately huge consequences. And now has to get to know her children. She has to learn to parent on the fly. She has to establish herself as an adult when she's otherwise been stuck in place. She has to reestablish herself with her family, and a new sense of identity in a world that's changed without her.
And looking some of the Della description from the pitch bible we got recently, and the Della described there is closer to the one I thought we were getting prior to her debut. It makes me wonder when that changed. I know early on, in the Moorshire episode, they realized they made Launchpad too dumb after they finished it. To me it feels like they did that with Della (and to a certain extent Donald as well), but then never made the realization about what they did. We already had launchpad as the stupid adult. We didn't need more. Also, to be honest, I struggle to name any strengths over other characters besides the pragmatic "better at flying than Launchpad". Now, don't get me wrong, I still like canon Della. She had a lot of great moments. But to be honest I think all of her best moments, would have also worked with the Della I thought we were getting. Her fears about losing the kids, so lying to them about participating in the fight. Her song. Her punishing Louie for being stupid. The bit where she talked about being unable to look at her reflection and breaking her glass. Teaching Dewey to fly. Realizing how much her kids looked up to her and to what extents they might be idiots to prove themselves to her. I don't want her not to be reckless, just more thoughtful. That said, the way the other characters treated her didn't really help. It felt like at least for a while she was being ignored. Like she wasn't being treated seriously, but also no one was trying to help or understand her. (Which we got Donald blasted off into space after being ecstatic to see her, made me feel like Donald might actually see her... but then 5 episodes in to S3 Donald gets a girlfriend and the twins rarely appear together).
Liking those elements of the pitch bible might be a bit of the classic "the grass is greener" nonsense. And the fact it's just a barebones description not a full fletched character, and to be fair I don't care for every detail in it. But even before the pitch bible, I was bothered by the fact Daisy, not Della was the person who understood Donald best. (My aromantic self does not appreciate the prioritzation of romantic relationships). And here in the pitch bible. It says Della knows Donald best. We didn't get a single glimpse of "was scared to be a mom", even though I'd solidly developed the head canon that the Spear of Selene ride was a form of post-partum fear even before reading this, and I understand that might have been difficult to work into the show, the lack of support for Della in general, or any hints of empathy for why she did what she did doesn't help. Even of dealing with trauma from the instance. I can't say the "stuff just happens" angle is objectively bad. But this is still a story. A narrative. Not reality. It feels cheap as a character, for her biggest mistake to basically boil down to "oops", rather than a huge character flaw. Like yes, being reckless is a flaw. But considering what the family is USUALLY doing, it… isn't? It really isn't any worse than what they family does normally so for her to be punished so harshly for it is a bit unfair.
In the finale the fact it's revealed that Bradford told Della about the spear, also feels kinda cheap to me. I think its an interesting reveal… but considering this is information one of our main protagonists knows it feels bizarre that it is a reveal to the audience. (Or that no one asked Della before). Also it feels a bit like it's trying to absolve Della of blame, but it doesn't address the core problem of (sure the show never states there's a problem but Scrooge makes reference to Della's "one last big adventure" and it's hard not to see this as an attempt to break out of some sort of mental funk. And it again, needlessly victimizes Della. She got stuck in space for 10 years, couldn't even name her own children, loses her leg, gets betrayed, loses her plane kinda-sorta, and is kind of treated like an idiot by many of the other adults around her. Because some guy was trying to mess with Scrooge. Della's moon trip sucks, I don't think they needed to make it worse by making it not even her fault.
I wish we had gotten a scene of Donald telling the boys what Della was like from his perspective. He's her twin. And I really don't want to welcome the comparisons between DT17 and GF. But the lack of any character drawing the parallels between Donald & Della and Huey, Dewey and Louie is absurd. But they don't utilize it. Like at all. No one ever looks at Donald and goes, oh. He lost his twin. That really sucks. The triplets never go. What would it be like if I lost one of you. Like twins are sometimes just siblings. They don't need to have "super special relationship", but in a show about family it's sure awkward that they don't. I am so mad that Huey, Dewey and Louie didn't get to see another side of their Uncle Donald brought out by Della. Or alternatively a Della struggling to connect with her brother. Even better both.
I know the "is the character acting ooc or do you not actually know the character" is well, a thing. I am aware that the post-partum depression, actually clever and observant Della is mostly made up by me. But I also know where in canon it came from to me. Della never acts out of character from once she's introduced. But that character is still a bit off from the character we had come to expect in the first season and a half. She's not completely divorced from what we were told about her. But still. Do I love Della, or the idea of Della. Honestly, I don't know.
This is definitely very OPINION, and not really anything objective.
#I feel like I'm being nothing but negative#Ducktales has fantastic characters who bounce off each other really well#a great sense of humor#and some beautiful animations and moments of pure emotion#But the poor plot#worldbuilding and thematic cohesion really hurts it#I keep feeling like the Della in my head is nothing like the canon one#I can recognize when I'm not talking about the character in canon#But I think my head Della is the way she is because of how she was set up#and how the set ups weren't meaningfully addressed#I take solace in the fact that their Della seems little like previous Della's so I feel free to change her in my fics#But it is really frustrating when looking at canon#tbh I'm not even entirely sure that I didn't force myself into liking Della considering the difficulty I had getting through some of those#I really do like Ducktales#but also...#Anyway#ducktales#ducktales 2017#Della duck
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WWWOOOPS FORGOT I MADE THIS. drew this back at around when the hyperbolic time chamber training arc was just starting. remember that? huh? remember the hamspter??? ohhhhhhhh youll remember the haspter!!!! oh my god yknow what else i remember. williams overwhelming love for christmas. oh my god. spooky zombie boy loves the christmas.. literally the best possible thing for him...
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#VYNCENT SSOOOOOLLLL I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW YOUUUUU AND YKNIOW WHY?? YKNOW WHYYY???? BC WHEN I FIRST DREW EVERYONE:#I DIDNT LOOK AT ANY REFS. DREW EM STRAIGHT FROM OFF THE TOP O MY HEAD. AND WELL. IN MY HEAD SOMETIMES#I PICTURE THE CHARACTERS LOOKING SIMILAR TO THE PLAYERS IN SOME WAY. NOT THE BEST THING TO DO REALLY. BUT YOU SEE.#VYNCENT CAME OFF AS A VERY SOFT AND SWEET CHARACTER. BUT SEEMED TO CARRY ALOT OF STRENGTH. HES LIKE A BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL BULL TO ME.#SO I DRAW THE GUY REAL DENSE! BUT THEN YAKNOOOWW THE OFFICIAL ART CROSSES MY EYES N IM LIKE FFFYUUUUUCKKK HE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT!!!!!!#IM LIKE AAUGUHGH IM DRAWIN HIM WRONG!!! BUT THEN IM ALSO CRAAAZY STUBBORN N I AAALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS DESIGN FOR HIM AND I DONT WANNT#I DONT WANNA GO N JUS CHANGE IT AAAALL UP NOW!!CMAHHHNNN BUT I STILL GOTTA DO SOOOMETHIN!!#LEST HE BECOMES SO FAR REMOVED FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL HE FAILS TO BE RECOGNIZED!! ANYONE ELSE GO THRU THIS? GIMME UR TIPS#anyway AHH THE DEMON THAT DESPISES ART FROM MONTHS AGO!! just means im improving so so fastly and cool-like. tbh im so proud o my recents#bUT HEY THOUGH I FIGURED OUT THE QUEUEUE THING AHAHAH NOW I CAN GET ALL MY THOUGHTS N DRAWINS OUT IN A DAAAYYYY#CONSISTENT POSTING FOR A MONTH HERE I COME. DAILY UPLOADS FOR A WEEK. YEAAHH BABY!!! PREPARE FOR SHOTGGUN BLASDT!!!!!!#ALRIGHT ALright one more thing before i go im. SO IN LOVE WITH MY SHAPES HONESLY... they are not just one shape but so so many put together#fucked up innit??? im seeing soo many problems in this piece though but i rest easy knowing i captured my feelings in the moment.
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The shite I have been up to
#The Jun when he has to include a head turn in nearly every animation#1st images are another old idea I had#I was reading bits of the artbook about Tima picking up on Kenichis expressions/mannerisms which seems more apparent in her model sheets#And I thought about applying it for other people as well...(Original reference flipped to show the pose better)#I have many thoughts about Metropolis' characters and themes (including what I dislike) so for my fanart of such a grand film to just be th#same characters in a different outfit or eating crackers or something... I feel a little bashful about it.#Also I learned Kenichi's voice actor (Kei Kobayashi) is a professional jazz singer. He has a beautiful voice
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"It looked like a good day for setting fence posts, and my mother said so while taking the biscuits from the oven. 'Some morning early, when I can get away, I want you to come with me along the edge of the hill in the wood-lot," she continued. "When the shadows of the trees begin to come down the slope, as the sun rises you feel the turning of the earth. You feel the whole globe under your feet rolling into the sunlight. . . . That's something I found one morning when I was driving the calves to pasture. I've been saving it up for you. I wonder if you've seen a more beautiful dawn in any of the places you've been.'
On my fingers I count the dawns I have seen--memorable, just in being dawns. Sleepy-eyed dawn from the Paris markets after a night of dancing; mist dawn against which I was just to late to see the minarets of Constantinople--all the fault of the stupid stewardess who didn't wake me in time; one startling moment of color on the hills around the Dead Sea before they went colorless in merciless heat; sudden dawn like a clap of light over the freezing-cold Syrian desert. Four dawns in twenty years. No, I do not know dawns as my mother does."
-- Rose Wilder Lane, "A Place in the Country" (1925)
#little house#rose wilder lane#laura ingalls wilder#a little house sampler#i dove into the book seriously this morning#intended to read just the first couple of pieces and kept reading 'just one more' until i've got about 2/3 read#most of laura's pieces are familiar from her farm columns#though there's a couple of early versions of little house stories that show a lot of her voice did get through there#rose's are fascinating#i can't quite wrap my head around her#sometimes she'll seem neurotic and restless and judgey and sophisticated and a bit pretentious#and then she writes some of the most beautiful nostalgic pieces#showing so much love of home and family and the simple joys of life#this piece might be my favorite so far because it grapples with those two sides#after four years as a foreign correspondent she's back at home in mansfield#and she has a new appreciation for her parents and the work they do and the life they've built#now that she's had her adventures and is no longer a restless teen looking to get away from rural poverty#even in the other pieces it's fascinating how much love of her family comes through when you know about the difficult relationships#i should share some quotes from the piece about mary when i get the chance#(also i'm very upset that she didn't write down the story of why she and her parents never read the last book in the school library)#(you don't end with a sequel hook and just leave me hanging ms. lane!)#anyway i love the whole essay that this is from and there are other worthwhile quotes#but i like how this one captures the 'noticing beauty while doing farm work' side of laura that i've come to think of as her trademark
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I think making sweeping generalizations of specific traits being considered "ugly" is not great the same way i think its rude and unnecessary to call others ugly, i also think its worthwhile to acknowledge that certain traits ARE considered "Ugly" due to societal beauty standards, that doesn't make them ACTUALLY ugly, bc beauty is subjective anyway, and can be found Anywhere, and even someone who seems to tick every single box of societal beauty Ideals will almost certainly have at least one trait or feature about their appearance that they are insecure about or feel is "ugly", bc even within the constraints of conventional attractiveness theres subjectivity
also this fish was so fucking Ugly and i adored it so much. i miss him.
he was also gorgeous.
#toy txt post#toy pic post#he passed in like. man. i want to say 2019? his name was Gus. he was a pink kissing gourami#the thing about albino fish is that they always look a little bit sickly and concerning. his head always seemed a little big for his body#like he was really old. when i got him he looked so bad cos he had wounds all over him from dads fish that got infected and the dude#straight up looked like a zombie. every day id wake up and prepare myself to find him dead. but he recovered and never went back in w the#fish that injured him. his face was hideous. he looked pale and sickly. his head was a little too big like he was super old#his scales were iridescent and pretty and shimmery. he had no concept of giving a shit about me finding him beautiful or not. not even on#his mind. simply not something he would think about. now. im sure he'd have some sort of beauty standard to hold himself to for mating if#that had been an option for him. but it wouldnt be the same. idk. i just. i love the idea. of animals that are not traditionally cute or#beautiful or charismatic and the fact that they do not give a single fucking shit what we think of the way they look. BOTH ways. a#a butterfly does not give a single thought tohow beautiful or inspiring you find the colors of its wings. the wolf fish does not care that#humans find it hideous and terrifying. it just looks the way that it does. its fine. its vibing. it just wants to live and survive and get#enough food. yes beauty is everywhere but so is ugly. and there is beauty in ugly. to me. there is beauty in not even thinking about#standards to be conformed to or not. the beauty is irrelevant. its not For You. it doesnt Matter. its just Existing. if you like how it#looks while it exists? great! good for you. if you dont? okay cry about it i guess. this ugly ass fish doesnt give a shit if humans find it#beautiful or not. he was just going to continue to use his lips covered in teeth to scrape biofilm and algae off the surface of rocks and#driftwood and play in the current of the filter.#let girls be ugly the way marine iguanas dont give a shit if humans find them pretty cos theyre just sunning themselves and eating seaweed#off rocks. all humans are beautiful. all humans are ugly. it doesnt matter. let us go dive into the ocean and scrape seaweed off the rocks#and then bask in the sun on a warm rock and not fucking worry about that#anyway also Yes ive seen uglier fish than him.i know they exist. but he was also special cos he was My Fish u see
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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less than a week until I move in with my squish and get to see them again aaaaaaaa
I have never felt such an intense mix of excitement and fear and longing,, send help
#like on the one hand#I get to see them again!!!!!! after three long long months I'll finally be able to feel their arms around me again#and breathe in their presence and see their beautiful smile right in front of me that isn't over 3 pixels of video call#and I'll see them EVERY DAY and we can talk or just sit together whenever we want!!!#and we can host parties!!! and build ikea furniture together!!! and laugh as we try to bake and probably miserably fail!!!!#but on the other hand#GODS am I terrified#what if I fuck it up???#what if I've romanticised this so much in my head and it'll really be nothing like that#what if they get tired of me and living together just makes us drift#what if it brings awkwardness into our friend group#what if my feelings get in the way#there's so much that can go wrong and so much at stake#and I can't bear the thought of losing them#I want this to work so so badly#I guess I'll find out soon#it's crazy though#three months seemed like such an unbearably long time#and now suddenly its almost over#I'm terrified of what comes next but I also want it so badly it hurts#well#come what may#I love them and I don't think that's going to change#here's to this new chapter#queerplatonic yearning hours#cosmo rambles#personal ramble#queerplatonic#aroace#aromantic
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oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this
#tomgreg#I CANT BREATHE HAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh wow. ohhhhhhh wow. oh wow. hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa wow.#GREG REALLY SAID: YOU WANNA FUCK ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID.#the way tom goes OHHHhhhh at greg getting bold is Exactly the same tone me and my gf use with each other. just. you know. for reference.#BUT GREG'S LITTLE HEAD GESTURE BEFORE HE SAID PROVE IT LIKE HE REALLY MEANS IT?????? I GOTTA GO#also i'm sorry but they both read so fucking gay to me like so gay. esp greg in this moment. his line for comfry is so like.#it's so. like you just wouldn't do that. i think. if you were straight. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEEL A KINDRED SPIRIT IN HIM I GUESS.#''she seems like a nice.... person'' GIRL WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT AND THE PAUSE BEFORE PERSON I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.#i know what you both are.#like. fuck what else can i say about this scene. they're insane i guess????#oh btw i know for a fact tom thinks greg is the most beautiful weird ass creature he's ever seen#like you know a sea creature that's kinda weird that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean that you see in an aquarium#and you're like wow!! that's odd! but.... so beautiful#like that's greg to tom. yet he's like SHES SO PRETTY AND YOU'RE SO GROSS HAHAHA#like. i see what you're doing you fucking avocado you're like oh don't bother going after her bc you're sweet and she might actually say yes#she might like you for what i like you for and y'all might hook up and i can't be having that!!!#like he's so transparent lmfao.#how do i know tom thinks greg is beautiful?? well who else do you say would be fit to take over from your beautiful wife if she died#ALSO tom is just surprised that greg bit back he's not even like. angry? idk i feel like if anyone else said that they'd be#family guy on the floor pose#about shiv being out of his league i mean#HE EVEN LOOKED AT GREGS MOUTH WHEN HE DID THAT LMFAOOO HE THOUGHT THAT WAS HOT#GOD I HATE HIM HAHAaaaaaaahh#AND AFTER GREG SAYS PROVE IT IT JUST CUTS OFF?!??! DID YALL GO FUCK IN THE BATHROOM IM MDDDWDWKDW#ALSO IF YOU LOOK AT PREV POST/WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY. THEY TOUCHED EACH OTHER LIGHTLY DIDNT EVEN HUG.#and as i said it felt sort of like ''i don't wanna spoil your outfit we can do that later anyway when we fuck raw''#then you get this. and the cut off. so like. come on what the fuck am i supposed to think. just ignore it??#ALSO sorry. sorry. BUT TOMS FACE DURING IT ALL HES LIKE 20 YEARS YOUNGER!!!!!!! AAARRAHgh#ALSO!!!! sorry. sorry. sorry. but why are the colours the bisexual flag in the bg. why. for what reason.#tom keeps looking at gregs mouth all throughout talking about how he fucks. so fuck him. prove it pussy.
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New EoW Trailer Thoughts!
- mentioned this in another post, but outfits!! Very excited for the outfits, character customization automatically makes it a 10/10 game 👍
- there are what appears to be wanted posters of Zelda, which are quite interesting, although a Goron is seen calling Zelda by name, so i wonder if she just isnt being careful about it or anything
- I loved getting to see the homes and areas of the different races! They are all quite pretty, and it was cool to see Gorons and different Deku Scrub appearances
- Also its just nice to see several different towns, as some top down/2d zeldas have had very few towns within them
- its cool to see the game have proper sidequests! Seems like this is a pretty sizeable game..
- the horse is cool!
- the rifts continue to be very cool and intriguing..
- while the Bind mechanic is cool, i have the feeling that it wont be something i use much unless forced to... my brain gets easily overwhelmed by so many ways to do things
- continuing my last point, thats my biggest (personal) issue w/ modern zelda and the focus on freedom. It just doesnt quite fit my gaming/thinking style?? Like i just recently borrowed a sib's copy of the Link's Awakening remake and dang, i miss old Zelda and its lack of freedom oddly enough 😅
#josh talks#loz#loz eow#i looooove that Deku Scrubs have returned sm!!#it was so cool seeing the different designs of them.. like the one with the rafflessia on its head!#i hope they continue to return in future games#maybe this is a sign that zelda is willing to bring back past races that werent used much??#pls bring back the Twili plssss 🙏🙏🙏#plus some of the other ones too. the minish would be cool..#also just saying that the wanted poster for zelda fits my Zelda Impersonates Link AU so well#also yeah bind seems cool n all but idk how much ill use it#my brain just. dont work like that. that just isnt my approach to vidya games yknow#but at least the game still seems really good! ive been worried about the future of zelda#after totk and how the creator has said he wants to focus on freedom and suh#*such#not a bad thing#but there really is beauty and fun to be found in limitation as well 🤷#most people i think love the freedom of botw/totk#and while i like it well enough#its def not really my preference#i like my Structure (tm)
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#personal#keep being like. if Only i had talked to him sooner. if Only i had been Friendlier sooner. but its like#Realistically.... probably wasnt ready. and also like. itd have to happen after school was over anyway bc 1. um i need to focus on school#and 2. how Awkward if i asked him out n he said no. or say we broke up or soemthing#like there were weeks i saw him every day. aint no way... i could handle the awkwardness of that#so ok ok ok. everything is fine JFJFJKFKFKFMFMFMFMFMF#i just have to remember not to get in my own head about it#like if i wanna message him i just should.....#its just..... hhhhHHhhhhh whyd this have to happen to me at 29. i could have been a happy spinster thank u NFJFJFJFJJFJFJFJF#but now ik what having an actual crush is like and oh wow is it painful. but also beautiful n fun. i just...... and lets face it this is#more than a crush. like its definitely Like like but i dont wanna say the Real L Word bc it seems..... idk JDJDJJDJD#but ive definitely um.... fallen. ya. ew JDJDKDJKDKDKDKDKS#but im just gonna follow my gut or whatever the fuck has been guiding me bc things have worked out so far#and like it wouldnt have without his participation. like ya....#im just like... what if he Forgets about me or like everything fizzles out#but then its like i Know if i see him again itll all come back.#bc in the summer i tried so hard to get over him (and kinda succeeded)... only to see him again in class and be like oh fuck oh no and the#n That Dinner. that was the final blow. i was so overwhelmed i got lost on the way home#which... the restaurant we were at is less than 10 mins from my house so you can imagine the uh Overwhelmingness#i cant even remember the original point of this but. i think we'll find a way ....... i say we but i should say 'i' bc until he tells me#that he likes me im gonna have to like Not Assume. hhhh#it doesnt help either that ppl were bringing up 'hes just not that into you' on twt bc Now im like#oh God. am i in that kind of situation???? i doubt it tho. i think hes just reserved. GAH. whatever happens happens
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Chevys sim looks just like them fr and like just looking at them confuses my brain in a good way!!
#I think my sim self is too hot but Chevy says it’s accurate so I’ll believe them#im happy with my sim thought because I even got the hyperpigmentation on my cheeks and my dark circles n my acne spots#im ehh on my skin tone because im inside all the time and im starting to get really pale but I think it’s accurate??#I think I have cool undertones irl but idk abt in the sims#and Chevy has this beautiful brown skin tone that seems like it should have cool undertones but they actually have very warm undertones#and the way her nostrils poke up a bit was the part I wanted to do the most#I see a lot of ours ocs in us and well duh#but also our ocs have impacted the way we dress n shit#because of retro I have a buzzed head and lean towards more spikes chokers and bracelets even though I tend to prefer lacier accessories#Chevys locs have grown so much and I see a lot of Leo in the way they wanna style them#also the fingerless gloves#sorry thinking about our webcomic#when we first started dating I forgot how to draw because I was so happy#so to learn how to draw again I drew Chevy a lot#and even now when im bored I doodle a little chevy#i started drawing myself more when we started dating because we were long distance at first#so I wanted to draw us together. and now I can draw self portraits that actually look like me!! it’s crazy#and now we’re immortalized in the sims :’)#which is where so many of our show your spine characters were first made… crazy how things come full circle#im manifesting a show your spine game in the next 10 years on god
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