#but also because i wanna make her “time limit” feel real

[sylviareviar]

It's one of those days... In the real world, Sylvia is curled up in a ball at home, having called in sick from school. In the Church of Terror, Sylvia's Shadow is missing her right hand.

She has lost her motivation to draw or write anything anymore.

[wroteclassicaly]

A/N: Uh… I might do a part two to this? But it randomly came to me and I wanna try something different.

Warnings: Language, hurt, angst, unrequited/one sided feelings, sadness, anxiety, mentions panic, body issues, and mentions self-esteem problems.

You’re hunched over the counter, skin taunt over your knuckles, bones sharp enough to shred through. A hot, sticky wetness resides in your lungs, the pain of its steam burning in your throat, settling over your lungs. You cannot see through the haze of blurred vision, half-assed attempts to wipe copious amounts of moisture going nowhere. Only when a heavier set of footfalls fall outside of the door and it’s yanked open — you finally cease some panic. Your manager, in all his greasy glory, clings to the doorframe, looking into the storage closet to make sure that you’re alone.

Obviously, because who would go in here with me? Steve never fucking will. He’s probably had other girls in here…

Keith is speaking, sounding like his voice is somewhere above the surface of murky waters. But you make it out. ��Hey, uh. I heard what happened with Harrington back there. Let me take you out, show you how a real man can treat a lady?”

If Keith wasn’t so disgusting towards the female population, you’d feel bad for him, but to sink yourself as low as to only get an offer from him? And right after HE saw you get rejected by your best-friend?

Nip it in the butt before it continues. You have to work here, after all…

“No, thanks, Keith. But I appreciate it.” You force a smile so fake that it burns the corners of your mouth.

He snorts, shaking his head. “Fine, but know that if Harrington side stepped you, you shouldn’t be so stingy with standards.” The comment stings, pricks your heart, tearing it apart to bleed out. “I’ll be in my office if you change your mind, sweets.”

One nasty wink later, and he’s back in his office and you’re out the door. This is all too much. You have to go. It’s break time, you thank fuck for, glancing at the clock, but you can barely think, your head pulsating with a pressing pound between your eyes. You punch out for lunch, gathering your purse, and you’re coming out as Robin is talking rapidly to Steve, seemingly scolding him at the front desk.

She’s come in for her shift. They stop immediately, features softening, too observant for your liking. You do what you do best — change the subject. Steve isn’t going to care anyways, so you might as well say it. It’ll help you get outside quicker.

“I have a fucking headache, I’m hungry, and Keith just hit on me, so I’m taking my break.” You blow out a wobbly breath.

It’s also Steve’s break, and he starts to remove his vest. Is he serious? You are so beyond outer limits right now… Granted, you take your breaks together every single day, but after everything that just happened in the past hour?

Steve’s jaw clenches and his body tenses at what you tell them, pausing his removal mid-way, inclining his head to look back in the manager’s office direction. Robin looks mad, tongue clicking as she looks over at Steve and shakes her head. You let them go, about halfway to the door before the bell rings and the beautiful girl that Steve’s been after forever to get a date with — approaches. She’s looking extra special, all dolled up. Sundress, heels, makeup, bracelets, a dainty necklace on her perfect shape.

It’s things you know Steve loves, because it’s also what you’re wearing. It made you feel good, but it was out of your element, yet you’d thought his hints, his behavior with you — Robin and Nancy had encouraged that those things were MAJOR signs. The girl goes straight for Steve, reaching for his massive hand. You’re frozen, having been waiting on him, despite all of your instincts telling you not to. Robin is looking at you with sympathy, something you’d rather never see directed your way again.

The girl, she’s acting as if it’s just her and Steve here. “I know you said this is your lunch hour. Looks I’m free if you still wanna hang out?” She swings her purse in her free hand. He’s been after her for a while — for sex or emotional connection, you aren’t sure. But what you do know, is that doesn’t want you at all.

And you can’t fault him, no one can. As his friends, you should worry about his happiness and dry yourself up, not making him feel guilty for not returning what you have felt for a while. That doesn’t mean that this isn’t pulverizing your heart, dusting your bones to ash, dashing all hopes and future fantasies, telling yourself he did like you, letting yourself believe — it does not hurt any less. It hurts more than you can bear. You feel his mossy eyes filter into your direction, meeting over her head, his nose wrinkling, that tick in his jaw that occurs when he wants so badly to speak, but can’t.

You’re caught in the moments that happened before any of this… Body on fire, doused in flames, tumbling down a cliff side of revelations. You weren’t even sure if reality existed, or if you were feeling too much of every emotion to comprehend anything.

“I really like you, Steve. And I think that, maybe, you like me too?”

“I do.”

“Yeah?”

“More than anyone, probably.”

“Me too.”

“But I don’t… We’re really close, honey.”

“That’s a good thing though, obviously. Right?”

“It’s always gonna be a good thing, trust me. I’ve never had someone in my life like you before.”

“Sooo. What about tonight?”

“I’m so sorry. Any guy would be lucky to have you. And I care about you, more than anyone, but I just… I don’t feel the same way.”

Drowning in an ocean of pity and panic. You’re back to present, watching him see those moments through your eyes, which have now glossed over with tears. He’s trying to be respectful, not accept her in front of you, keep things okay, show he won’t make it weird because of your confession. Normal. Keeping his lunch date with you.

You don’t fake your smile, hand on the door, nodding several times. He doesn’t have to feel guilty, he doesn’t have to sacrifice his happiness. You love him, even if he isn’t in love with you. And that’s all that matters. He deserves this.

When Steve glances down towards the door and back up, the bell is fading against the glass, but you’re gone...

Your sundress blows in the wind of a fresh summer storm as you leave the store behind to walk to the deli, your tears cresting, before rising in a tempo that you don’t control. Your chest feels as if there’s a thousand pounds crushing you, every negative self-image colliding, thoughts flowing free, self-loathing — it all lets loose. And before you know it, you’re sobbing in the middle of the street over Steve Harrington…

[rubytuby]

surprise

patrick zweig x fem!reader 

word count: 3.3k (LOL)

warnings: established relationship with patrick because i'm lazy, art is your best friend, mentions of getting drunk but it's college so like to be expected… also allusions to sex haha but um i just love to write a cutesy plot.

note: i am normal about patrick zweig, i feel so normal about him #needthat. jokes, but i am in love with him its so bad, i wish he was real. also please don't be offended by my tashi erasure, still love her, but she didn't exactly fit in here. obv this is not canon bc you're dating patrick in stanford era instead of tashi, anyways, hope you enjoy <3.

FEBRUARY 23 2007, STANFORD

The sun hung low, casting long shadows over the tennis courts as you and Art wrapped up your practice session. Both of you were drenched in sweat, Art slung his tennis bag over his shoulder and jogged over, his face lighting up with a mischievous grin.

“So uh, want to walk back to the dorms together?” he asked, sounding overly eager.

You squinted at him, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand. “Sure, but I need to shower first. You know, make it seem like I haven’t been pushed to my physical limits,” you said, gesturing to your sweaty attire.

Art laughed. “You have a single, why don't you just wait until you get back to your dorm?”

You groaned, shoving your racket into your bag. “That's the problem. The maintenance guy showed up at 7:30 this morning to tell us they’re shutting off the water from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. only on my floor for some urgent plumbing issue.”

“Damn, that sucks. Are they even allowed to do that without giving anyone notice?”

“That's what I asked, but apparently, giving us 30 minutes notice is considered adequate. So, technically, they can,” you replied, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “I’ll be quick, though. Just need to rinse off. If you don’t wanna wait for me to chill, you can walk back to the dorms. I won’t be offended.”

Art shook his head. “I’ve got time, I’ll wait. I’ve gotta call someone anyways,” he said plopping down the bench and pulling out his phone.

“Alright weirdo, if you’re sure,” you said, dropping your tote bag next to him. “I’ll be super quick.” With that, you darted off to the girls' locker room.

As soon as you disappeared, Art pulled out his phone and dialed Patrick’s number. The phone barely rang before Patrick answered, his voice tense with impatience.

“Are you guys on the fucking way yet or am I going to have to wait longer?”

“Hello, sunshine!” Art greeted cheerily. “Your beloved is taking a quick shower. We’ll be there in about 25 to 30 minutes.”

Patrick groaned loudly. “Why didn’t you just tell her to shower in her dorm? I’ll lick the sweat off her if it means not waiting any longer.”

Art grimaced at his best friend’s comment. “The water’s out on her floor. She said she’s literally only rinsing off and changing. Just be patient. I’ll text you when to leave so we can time it perfectly.” A sigh rang out on the other line.

“If this plan doesn’t work and I’ve been hiding from my girlfriend for a couple hours for no reason, I’m going to seriously hurt you,” Patrick grumbled, staring out Art’s dorm window.

“Well she definitely thinks you're in New York visiting your parents,” Art paused, “I just had to talk her down from buying a plane ticket, so I think we’re good.”

“I told her I just got into the city a couple hours ago when I actually got to SFO. She was so upset yesterday when I said it’d be five days until we saw each other. She called me a fucking asshole, so I dont know what to do anymore.” Patrick said as he flopped onto Arts bed.

Art scribbled on his worksheet, humming in response. “Well, at least you know that she definitely misses you.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if she misses me or just wants to slap me in the face,” Patrick replied, exasperated.

Just then, Art saw you coming out of the locker room, chatting with one of your friends on the team. “Hopefully not the latter. Anyway she’s out. See you at 15. Don’t be late,” Art said flatly before hanging up, knowing Patrick and his unfortunate untimeliness. 

Art smiled up at you as you approached. “Who was that?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“Our shared lover,” Art replied with a laugh, haphazardly shoving his worksheet and phone into his bag as he stood up.

“Aww, any exciting updates from Pat? He still stuck with his parents for another five days?” you teased, sticking your tongue out playfully.

“He just got to the city. He mentioned playing on the East River courts and paying someone to hold a spot for him,” Art lied smoothly.

“Sounds about right,” you said, sighing. “Anyway, I was talking to Nathalie over there…” you squinted, linking arms with Art as the two of you started the walk back to your dorm. “She mentioned a frat party happening tonight. Since Patrick’s trapped in New York, I figured why not go?”

“There’s going to be a keg stand, a ton of alcohol, and some shitty DJ or something,” you added, glancing at a group of students touring the campus before turning back to Art.

Art nodded, slightly wincing at the mention of the keg stand. “Wow, sounds like a lot of fun,” he replied sarcastically, earning a nod of agreement from you.

“I was planning on skipping it, but Nathalie really wants me to go. I thought if you came with me, it might actually be fun. Better than wallowing in my room wishing Patrick was here,” you admitted, biting your lip.

"Well, we had fun at that party last Friday, you remember right?" Art asked, smirking.

"Remember is a strong word," you replied, shaking your head with a laugh. "I think I have bits and pieces from that night. I do remember waking up still drunk at noon with my t-shirt on backwards and you snoring next to me in bed. Also like 5 missed calls from Patrick."

Art flashed you a lopsided grin. "Well, your bed's comfy, but I thought I was going to roll off in the middle of the night."

"Well, I stayed in my corner, I was flush against the wall as you were all sprawled out making yourself at home on my bed," you teased, nudging him playfully.

As you approached your dorm building, you noticed Art’s phone buzz. He glanced at it quickly, fumbling to put it away as a smile grew on his face. “What’s with the grin, weirdo?” you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, nothing. Just a funny text,” Art replied too quickly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re terrible at lying, you know that?”

“Who, me? Who said I’m lying, I’m the picture of innocence,” Art said defensively.

You shook your head. “Sure you are. Anyway, I think I’m gonna drop my stuff on the floor, crawl into bed, and maybe take a nap. Maybe we can think about that party, I can call you at 11 so we can pregame.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Art said with a nod. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

You smiled gratefully as the two of you ascended the stairs to your floor. Art talked animatedly about his plans for the weekend while you half-listened, preoccupied with thoughts of collapsing onto your bed and taking a deserved long nap.

"Yeah anyways, I'm thinking of catching up on some studying, this english class is kicking my ass," Art continued, unaware of your drifting attention. "Maybe I’ll go on a run later though. You could join me if you wanted, if you’re up."

"Maybe," you replied absentmindedly, reaching a hand into your tote bag sifting for your keys.

As you reached your door, frustrated with your bag, you dropped your tennis bag and lifted your whole tote up, practically sticking your face in it to find your keys. "I hate these fucking tote bags, I can’t find shit," you grumbled to Art, feeling a tap on your shoulder.

Startled, you turned around with a scowl— until you saw Patrick standing there, a mischievous grin on his face. "Patrick! What the fuck? What are you doing here-” you exclaimed, letting your tote bag fall to the floor and throwing your arms around him in a tight hug.

Patrick laughed, hugging you back just as tightly. "Surprise" he exclaimed, holding you close, smiling at Art over your shoulder.

You pulled back slightly, giving him an incredulous look. "You asshole! Trapped in New York with my parents, my ass!" you shook your head, playfully hitting him on the chest.

Patrick held his chest dramatically and leaned in, kissing your cheek lightly. "All part of the plan," he murmured. “Plus, I had a little help," he added, nodding towards Art, who was standing nearby with a smug expression.

You turned in Patrick's arms to face Art, scoffing in shock. "Art, you were in on this? You’re such a liar," you exclaimed.

Art shrugged. "Hey, I was just hosting him at my dorm while we were at practice. Technically, I didn’t lie—I just omitted a few details," he explained, grinning.

"How could you do this to me? Traitor!" you said dramatically, though a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

Patrick wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer against him and resting his head on your shoulder. "Come on. You know it was worth it," he said, his tone teasing.

You sighed playfully, shaking your head at the pair of them. "I guess I can forgive you both this time," you conceded.

Patrick’s hand gently brushed through your hair as he settled his head into the curve of your neck. “You know I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me,” he said softly.

As you lingered in Patrick's embrace, you paused. "Wait, where's all your stuff?" you asked, pulling back slightly and turning to look up at him.

Patrick grinned, nodding towards your door. "In your dorm," he replied casually.

“Wow, Breaking and entering," you quipped, crossing your arms squinting at Art.

Art interjected with a laugh, "Actually, perfectly legal entering. You're the one who gave me a spare key."

You shook your head, "That's for emergencies, Art," you retorted, shooting him a mock glare.

Patrick turned you around to face him, his hands resting gently on your shoulders. "Come on, admit it, you're impressed," he teased.

You sighed, "I'm shocked you guys were able to pull this off, honestly," you admitted, shaking your head with amusement. Patrick laughed softly, rubbing your back soothingly.

Reluctantly pulling away from Patrick's arms, you grabbed your tote bag from the floor, turning to face Art and Patrick. "As much as this hallway talk is very exciting, I seriously need to find my keys. I'm exhausted," you declared half-joking.

After a brief search through your bag, you finally located your keys nestled among your belongings. Patrick picked up your tennis bag with a playful grin, indicating his readiness to follow you inside.

"Alright, Art, thank you," Patrick called out over his shoulder as you unlocked the door.

Art waved casually. "Have fun, be safe you two. I'll see you later," he replied as he walked down the hallway.

As the two of you entered your dorm room, you barely had enough time to place your bags on the floor before Patrick closed the gap between you and him and crashed his lips onto yours. His hands pulled you against him as he pressed your back against the door, placing his hands on either side of you almost boxing you in. His kisses were sloppy, teeth colliding as his lips moved against yours, hands desperately roaming your body, as if he couldn't get close enough to you.

You responded eagerly, melting into his embrace, your own hands finding their way into his hair, tugging him closer. His lips moved hungrily against yours, his tongue tracing your lower lip, hands roaming over your back, then up to cradle your face, pushing strands of hair away as he deepened the kiss.

"Patrick," you managed to gasp between kisses, your chest rising and falling with each breath. "I... I need to put my stuff away," you painted, reluctantly pulling back

Patrick leaned back, a mischievous smirk on his face, moving over to lean against your desk. "Sure," he murmured, his gaze lingering on you as you took out some things from your bag. "So, how was practice?" he asked, his voice low, as he looked you up and down.

You scoffed, a hint of satisfaction playing on your lips as you organized. "Heinous. I keep getting paired with this girl on the team who can't return any of my serves," you replied exasperatedly, glancing over at him.

Patrick raised an eyebrow, "maybe you should just go easy on her."

You shook your head, clicking your tongue in frustration. "I've tried to go easy on her, but she can't even play me when I do that. She acts like it's my fault she can't play for shit," you paused to sigh.

Patrick grinned, tracing a hand up and down your arm. "We both know you're too good for stanford women's tennis," he murmured, moving from the desk to stand behind you, his hands coming to rest on your hips and giving them a quick squeeze.

You whipped your head around, rolling your eyes and scoffing at his comment. "Careful," you say firmly.

Patrick put his hands up in mock surrender, his cocky grin never faltering. "Alright, alright. Sorry, my bad," he said. "You're right."

As an unspoken apology, Patrick moved closer, his hands gently moving up to your waist as he leaned in to kiss your neck softly. His lips left a warm trail on your skin, "I missed you," he murmured between kisses, his breath hot against your ear. “So much.”

You tilted your head slightly, allowing him better access, closing your eyes briefly to savor the sensation. "I missed you too," you hummed, your voice softening as you turned to face him fully. Your hands came to rest on his chest. "You know, I wish you would’ve just told me you were coming," you teased, carding your fingers through his hair.

Patrick's playful demeanor softened as he gazed into your eyes, his fingers brushing against your cheek as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "Sorry again," he murmured sincerely, his breath mingling with yours. "Do you still love me?" he asked, clearly teasing and testing you.

You couldn't help but smile, your fingers threading through the strands of his hair at the nape of his neck. "I still love you, even with your elaborate lies," you replied, planting a sweet kiss on his lips. "But I have to say I knew something was up. Art was being weirder than normal."

Patrick hummed, his hands gently caressing your sides as he leaned in for another kiss.

"Hey? Are you even listening to me?" you asked, blinking up at him, a playful smirk tugging at your lips.

Patrick paused, his forehead resting against yours as he looked into your eyes. "Sorry, what did you say? I was a little distracted," he said, smiling.

You laughed softly, giving him a light shove. “I said Art was acting weirder than normal. I could tell he was hiding something.”

He shook his head and grinned, suddenly, he scooped you up over his shoulder, eliciting a surprised laugh from you as he carried you to the bed. Playfully flopping you down, his hands on either side of your head as he leaned in to kiss you again, his lips warm and insistent.

"So, what's our plan for tonight?" he asked between kisses, his fingers tracing light patterns on your sides.

You sighed softly, your words catching in your throat as his kisses became more fervent. "Well, there's this party my friend invited me to," you managed to say, struggling to speak coherently. "But last time I went out with Art, it was a shit show," you paused, trying to focus as his lips trailed down your collarbone, "but you're here, so we can do… whatever you want," you finally managed to say, your voice breathless with desire.

"Can we?" Patrick teased, his tone dripping with innuendo, his kisses becoming more urgent and needy.

You sighed deeply, rolling your eyes. "You know, you're impossible," you muttered, shaking your head. "But yes, we can."

Patrick grinned triumphantly, his hands roaming over your body as he leaned in to kiss you again, his hunger for you evident in every touch and movement. "Good," he murmured against your lips. "I think I just want you to be myself tonight."

"Freaky," you quipped, biting your tongue to hide a laugh.

With a self-assured grin, Patrick swiftly removed his T-shirt, revealing his lean and tan body. His gaze never left yours as he leaned back in, his lips finding yours with intensity. Your fingers traced lightly over his chest as you meshed together, and through kisses, you opened your eyes for a moment, gaze fixed on the freckles dotting his nose and cheeks.

"You've got more freckles," you observed with a playful smile, pulling back slightly, teasingly tracing each tiny mark with your fingertip.

Patrick grinned warmly, his eyes crinkling as he removed his lips from yours pulling you into a tight hug. "You're so cute," he murmured, squeezing you against him. His hands gently moved up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as he pulled you closer, lips looking for another kiss with a soft sigh of contentment slipping out. His gaze, filled with adoration and longing, locked onto yours, silently expressing his deep affection.

"Fuck, you're so pretty," he whispered, his voice low and filled with awe. You locked eyes with him, your own expression softening as you smiled, your fingers tracing the curve of his jaw.

Without breaking eye contact, Patrick's hands moved to the hem of your T-shirt, his touch almost insistent. He lifted the fabric, exposing your skin to the cool air and his heated gaze, with the T-shirt slipped over your head and thrown to the floor, forgotten. His gaze traveled downward, taking in the sight of you, bare-chested in front of him, a cheeky grin began to spread across his face. 

You rolled your eyes, whacking his arm. "Are you 13?" you teased.

Patrick laughed, unfazed as his hands and mouth roamed your newly exposed skin, his lips moving back to your collarbone, placing soft kisses along its length. Your remaining clothes were shed in a flurry, falling to the floor as you both moved with urgency desperately reconnecting.

Finally, as your kisses slowed and the two of you were breathing somewhat heavily, you rolled onto him, resting your head on his chest. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you close, with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear.

"I love you," Patrick murmured softly, placing a lovingly sweet kiss onto your forehead.

You met his gaze with a soft smile. "Is that just because we had incredible reunion sex?" you teased lightly, a playful challenge in your voice. "Or do you love me all the time?"

Patrick laughed, his fingers moving up and down on your back. "Only for the sex, it's usually worth the plane ticket," he teased back, with a smile. "Just kidding. I love you all the time," he replied earnestly, as a grin started forming on his face.

Leaning up from his chest, you pressed a sloppy kiss against his mouth, your hands tangling into his hair as you felt the corners of his lips curve into a smile against yours. "I knew it," you murmured against his lips, a hint of amusement in your voice.

"Say it back," Patrick urged with a playful grin, attempting to deepen the kiss, but you playfully pulled away before he could capture your lips again.

Rolling your eyes theatrically, you feigned annoyance, though your smile betrayed your true feelings. "Fine," you replied, leaning in to kiss him once more. "I love you too, freak."

[burrythebusy]

I love going back to reread hrkg because I just learn something new every time even without the influence of the recent chapter. I particularly love analyzing Kagiura’s character. His view on love and romance and family and marriage was just so interesting before. It was so innocent, meaning he didn't think of it any more or any less than just "I get to stay with him, only me". Like that's not the average thought for a crush. And Niibashi tells him that, he's like do you even view him romantically, or do you simply just wanna keep him close? It could be interpreted as so many things. Like aroace spec hrkg is such a real interpretation.

And it gets me even more when I view it in reference to his past relationship. Like his most Romantic™ action ("What lovers do") is a lap pillow. Because she was his girlfriend and that was the reason given for it. We're dating so this is something that people thay are dating do. So his middle school self is like oh okay. And it happens and he's stiff. And he doesn't think it feels right. And that follows him to high school bc if we're dating and this is something people that are dating do, why doesn't it feel right? But yes. That's literally it. That's as romantic as it goes for him until Niibashi mentions kissing. Which he didn't even think about. He claims it's an influence of never really seeing his parents kiss. His view on love IS his parents. It's influenced by those around him (ooh). But it's also because marriage is supposed to mean you're in love. And his parents are in love and act like best friends and rarely kiss so that's what the young Kagiura thinks of love to be like.

Now I don't know what influenced him to get with his girlfriend per se. Because (!!light novel stuff!!) I think it's implied that his view of love and marriage comes after his girlfriend, not before, which would make sense considering his relationship didn't work out. It also makes sense if it came before. Because why did it start? I genuinely think that he might have liked, and i think that's what was said. But i think he liked her as a friend, and he's expected to get with girls, and if his view on marriage was getting started at any point then. That's literally a prerequisite. A relationship like best friends. So he dates her and it just doesn't feel right. And it could've been because he treated the whole relationship like a friendship with a different label which wasnt what his girlfriend wanted. And then the one "traditionally romantic" thing that comes along, close physical contact, still doesn't feel right.

Going off of context clues here. It's safe to say they never kiss or even hold hands really. It's probably the only thing they ever did, the lap pillow. It's what Kagiura thinks about when he thinks of romance and what lovers do because it's the one thing he failed to FEEL right about. And if he liked her. Why didn't he?

Obviously everything isn't surface level either, on one surface. Because Kagiura’s personality comes into play too. There's probably more to be said about his politeness, how we don't see him really challenge anybody on what they say (except Hirano for obvious reasons). If his girlfriend said dating -> lap pillow then he's gonna say okay. Sure. Even if he's unsure about it. But we don't get much of his personality from then. We only know this snippet, and the fact that it bothers him.

But we also know WHY it bothers him after ch. 6 and 7, and in 16a. Kagiura doesn't think about kissing Hirano because his view on love and romance is limited to how his parents show it, and how his ex girlfriend showed it. He hasn't developed it on his own yet, at least not consciously. He likely never kissed his girlfriend (and if he did it doesn't stick with him at all since the first thing he thinks about is literally the lap pillow) and he doesn't see his parents kiss so Niibashi asks him about kissing hirano and he's like "idk lol". Hence why, does he even like Hirano romantically? (And though you can be in a romantic relationship without kissing, the question still remains as to how he sees his feelings for Hirano, considering how juvenile they seem*)

But the difference here is that, without thinking about it, Hirano and Kagiura were becoming best friends. Kagiura didn't go into friendship with Hirano thinking he's a love interest the same way he might have with his girlfriend. Hirano treated him really well and they developed this natural thing and Kagiura started to develop a natural Kagiura version of a crush. But still, every action after that wasn't with the deliberate intention of his outlook on love. It remained natural. So that "prerequisite" was already fulfilled (and honestly, it could easily be viewed separate of how he sees romance from his parents. Again, it all happens so naturally and easily for him).

So in chapter 6, he thinks about what Niibashi said more and then the urge comes. To kiss Hirano. The first time he's probably thought about kissing anyone. So it's already an outlier to how he views romance anyway because kissing never had to be a part of it but now it is. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!

Because next he decides to indulge in something he can easily call back to. His girlfriend and their experience. People that date do lap pillows. How would that feel with someone I'm in love with, someone I now know I want to kiss? And I truly don't think he expected much from it because of his experience of not really liking it. Of it being "off". But Hirano lies in his lap and his mind blanks. And then he lies in Hirano's lap and he can't do it. Not because it feels off or wrong. But because he felt too much. A LOT in that moment. Cue his sexual and sexuality awakening/crisis. It literally scares him out of being NEAR Hirano for extended periods of time. Out of touching him. Because this new attraction is foreign to him. He now actively wants to touch him, actively wants to kiss him and at this point he already knew hirano doesn't see him that way so what do you do?

Then 16a comes. They're starting to touch for ten seconds a day because Hirano said he would try, and Kagiura’s largest guilty pleasure is literally just physical contact. Particularly with Hirano. Which he used to do so casually but can't bring himself to. So he asks hirano when it's okay and they agree to ten seconds.

To me, this is when he comes to terms with the fact that he never romantically liked his girlfriend in the first place. Because he knows hirano isn't in love with him at this point despite Hirano agreeing to try. He knows what they feel is different. Which is exactly what happened with his girlfriend. That's why he's afraid he was making Hirano feel how he felt with his girlfriend back then. Uncomfortable. "Off". And when I view it in context I always come to the conclusion that he didn't like her (let alone love her). This may not be his first relationship but it is his first love.

All this to say... literally nothing. I just love digging into Kagiura’s character, how his past does end up influencing the present in really subtle ways. I mean think about it, he feels so guilty for wanting to touch Hirano that he limits himself to the ten seconds. Like every time before chapter 14 that they touched just because (locking arms, holding his shirt or his wrist just to grab onto him, that natural gravitation) is just gone. Because now he loves someone who doesn't love him so how could he possibly put the pressure on him to touch him in the same way? He gave away his right to do that. But it hurts him. (And it hurts Hirano too). Another problem. But that guilt doesn't come from nowhere. He doesn't want Hirano to feel how he felt with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to make him uncomfortable or push his physical boundaries and make himself a sad memory in Hirano's high school years.

Kagiura is experiencing this extent of love and a crush for the first time. He lied in his girlfriends lap hesitantly but did it because they were dating and didn't like it. And I feel like a great fear of his is making Hirano feel that way too. So he wants Hirano to feel the same way desperately without pushing the physical boundary that has once made him feel unsure and weird. He loves Hirano so much that he'll limit himself as much as he can bear in this process. (Which, isn't the greatest thing. It's almost contradictory). But that's his experience. That's how he's letting it influence him. And it's so interesting to me.

Erm this is long anyway I love doing Kagiura character study. Obviously this is my interpretation and how I view his character to be. And we are all influenced by our environment in the end, especially those that have an important place in our lives (hint hint wink wink iykyk) but some people still build their own wants and desires with that as a foundation. Kagiura took his parents as the blueprint itself. THE guide, THE directions. So now I think he's on a journey of defining love for himself too.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

ranking naruto characters by how good they would drive if they knew what cars were:

sakura: 4/10. technically she does have a liscence but god knows how she got it on account of the sheer amount of traffic violations she racks up every time she gets in a car. drives a honda civic and brags about it even though its literally not that fancy. exclusively plays true crime podcasts while driving but blasts them like at hard rock volume. thinks turn signals are a mark of the devil and that all speed limits are marked by at least 15 under the real limit. you will get to your destination on time. but at what cost.

sasuke: -5/10 the man cannot drive. he gets negative points because hes a terrible influence in the passengers seat. the main people he steals rides from are naruto and sakura and they are ultra-possesive of the aux cord so he doesnt get it often but when he does he WILL be playing the minecraft soundtrack. tells people to hit old ladies crossing the street for "extra points." doesnt mean it.

naruto: 2/10 weirdly cautious but it might be warented because he is awful. drives five under the speed limit at all times but not on purpose he nust doesnt know how to read a speedometer. if sasuke is in the car with him they WILL get pulled over because naruto got so distracted he almost hit a tree. plays country music and drives a slugbug

kakashi: 8/10 drives a mustang and is so so anxious every time he gives anyone a ride because he doesnt wanna be responsible for killing them. no one is allowed to play music when he is driving because it scares him. when hes alone he drives like a madman because he has no regard for his own life <3

obito: 1/10 drives like hes actively being pursued by the police. thinks he is good enough to drift. he is not. his trashy little nash rambler has been on its last legs for 4 years and its a miracle it hasnt given up completely because he slams it into fire hydrants at least once a week. plays taylor swift exlusively. any attempts to change this will end with you kicked out of his car. which might be for the best.

rin: -6/10 cant drive and actively makes a game of giving bad directions to the driver. she thinks its fun. tells people to hit old ladies crossing the street for extra point and means it. if given the aux she will play "10 hours of silence occationally broken by falling medal pipe" because that is uniroincally her favorite song.

tsunade: 5/10 refurbishing a old mozda named tangerine. shes gotten weirdly attatched to it and keeps humanizing it to an uncomfortable degree. uses her knowledge of the human body to draw comparisons between rumaging atound in the car guts and actual surgeries she has preformed before. also she doesnt use turn signals.

orochimaru: 10/10 cant drive but instead of hounding people for rides he takes the bus. literally the most normal about transportation out of everyone on this list so he gets full points.

hiruzen: 3/10 drives an electric car because he feels bad about his carbon footprint even though hes not actually making that much of a difference :/ has hit bikers on multiple occations

danzo: 7/10. hes actually a pretty good driver but i have to take away points on account of the fat that he uses his white windowless van to kidnap children and transport assassins to kill his rival politicians.

minato:-700/10 drives a cybertruck

kushina: 2/10 cant drive but at least shes a decent passenger. will deliver devistating insults for the drivers honor and also shoot at any cars that deserve it (she carries around a pistol). only okay at helping with directions but thats fine because at least shes not actively working against the driver.

[seungxstar]

! // ➶┊Jealousy

Bada x fem reader (headcanons!!)

a/n : it's like 4am rn and i just finished writing this whole thing and tbh i would so write a fic abt this

(also if you see this I would love love love it if you could leave me some opinions on this LOL)

How I think Bada would be if she was jealous… (which would be quite often because I just see her as like a jealous lover but maybe that's just me)

- bada is SO the type to bring you around her events to show you off like a trophy, but also gets jealous the moment another person living being just looks in your general direction.

- to be fair, she should be used to the attention already, i mean, pretty dancer and pretty gf, rightttttt…?

- Wrong!

- she would get so jealous so fast just from you politely greeting a guest at the event who greeted you.

- not even a greeting is needed, gosh you could just bow slightly at the said guest and she would be SEETHING in jealousy.

- now if you were to do this on purpose, ha ha funny now you're on actual thin ice.

- she would totally ignore you on the drive home, probably with nothing but whatever that happened (a hello) in her mind.

- she's incredibly possessive as a gf lol

- but I think we all know that, don't we?

- she wants whatever that's hers to be close to her and only her

- and you're hers

- so obviously she wouldn't want you around other people

- bonus points if you're a social butterfly

- overly friendly x possessive looking real cute rn

- she doesn't get why you think making her jealous is fun, but to be fair, jealousy is an extremely attractive trait of hers.

- it's just the way that you can feel her stare even if you're not looking at her

- the way you could be dancing with a stranger and when you turn around to look at her, and you just see her staring dead into your soul

- and maybe if you thought it was funny and continued dancing with the said stranger

- when you turn around again, you just see her poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue

- uh oh

- now that's how you know she's hit the limit of jealousy she can endure with you and strangers

- if you're not coming to her within the next few seconds,

- she's coming to you instead.

- she totally would just drag you out of the club by the wrist

- probably kept a counter on who and how many times you interacted with other people

- what was she going to do with that information?

- no idea.

- don't really wanna know too tbh

- (she could kill em) *mafia au

- but let's not go down that path!

- i mean, she's aware and clear that you only have feelings for her and that she's the one you fall asleep with

- but then she would also stake her claim (you) in public, be it wrapping her arm around your waist or just full on making out with you in public

- but hey

- let the jealous woman be jealous and act on it ig

[okaylikeschaewon]

Waterbomb you say? I think whatever version Eunbi is in your head, you'll still end up with a pretty hot Eunbi fic

A lot of idols in smuts don't match with their IRL personality anyway, which could be exactly what makes it fun. Some are exaggerated aspects of their image (given by the public or the company). Everyone consumes content differently too so between readers there are multiple versions of the same idol.

Just like fans going crazy their "On stage vs Off stage" aura, smut version of the idol could be anything. As long as the writing is good that makes you immersed, the sky is the limit.

Chaewon is a lovely leader who tried her best to lead the group but actually just a soft and cute loser, 😂 especially when playing games.

Guess where did she learned her leadership skills?🤣 Eunbi is also a a soft cutie

and a cute loser... Woolimz our loser duo!😊😊

Nothing stops you from making her a sex crazed dick drainer though

mommy

POV:

When you've cummed inside her then pulled out, remaining spurts painting her ass and her lower back. Thanks goodness to surface tension, instead of dripping straight down onto Eunbi's expensive bedsheet, you've got enough time just to take in your cum tracing her curves of her ass before moving down to her thighs. Just enough time reaching for the box of tissue, wiping off the excess cum on her thighs (leaving her ass and lower back marked).

She's turns to the left while still in position, admiring your work in the mirror, wiggling her bare ass decorated with you cum. Eunbi is already urging you to put it back in.

"When I said harder, I really mean it. PLEASE! I can take it."

Omg Frisky I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS <3333

You're 1000% correct when you say you can make their personality however you want, of course the personalities I give idols in my fics aren't true to their real lives (I'm not that delusional haha), I'm just playing to it in part with some quirks and whatnot! I guess it's more along the lines of needing to have a solid opinion on the personality of the idol before I feel I can commit to writing about them!

For example, I don't know IU "that" well, but I have some general idea of a fic version of her that I'd wanna play around with, and just like that my Photographer fic was born! Same with Karina and Winter, I don't really know them because I don't watch their content, but I've seen enough to have my own versions of them in my head and that's enough for me to write a fic about them.

I'm glad you mentioned Eunbi + Chaewon because a good chunk of my Eunbi knowledge comes from binge watching clips of the two of them. I never really followed IZ*ONE closely back when they were around, other than listening to their music, but I did end up going back just to watch clips and I absolutely LOVE the dynamic between Eunbi and Chaewon!

[a-may-w]

Women and gay shipping in Anime

I just had a realization on why women seem to be the majority that ship male characters---women are able to put themselves in the female characters shoes. Let me explain. Often in highly popular male ships---specifically in anime for this post, including but not limited to Bakudeku, Sasunaru, etc.---the two male leads/rivals have an extremely close relationship and large portions of their lives, character arcs, and stories revolve around one another. Their is also more often than not a canonical female love interest the main male character gets with. The main male characters life, character arc, and story often doesn't revolve around the main female ones, but her life, character arc, and story revolve around him. What happens then is that the female love interest becomes second place to the other male lead. This alone is enough to justify why people ship the male characters as opposed to the main straight one, but the reason why women specifically often ship the two males leads because of this is because women don't want to put themselves in second place. To men, or really anime dudebros, the female love interest being second-place really doesn't matter to them. Their favorite male characters who they see themselves in gets to have his 'best-buddy' around all the time and gets the girl, because, duh, he deserves it. But to women, who often see themselves or can see themselves in female characters, wanting/watching her get with the main male lead feels sad. It literally feels like watching a friend from high school settle with their below-average high school sweet-heart. I don't want that for her. I want her to be an equal to the main character---a part that completes him, and in turn, a part that completes her. The main male lead and female lead often do not fill these rolls for one another. Do you know who does fulfill these roles for one another? Thats right, the two main male leads. Women reject the often unequal, heterosexual relationship presented to them in cannon and embrace the homosexual, equal, relationship that rarely ever happens. And its so bizarre because this inequality of relationships often occurs because of internalized mysogony authors hold towards female characters---like, what do you mean in order for my cannon straight relationship to be compelling I have to write a 3-dimensional female character that gives and takes from the main male character, I only know how to do that with men---but they ARE NOT gay. Or, even funnier, the authors did want to make it gay but couldn't so they just hinted at it a bunch. I'm looking at you Horikoshi and Masashi, I don't know anything concrete but I've heard rumors. I feel like this is also proven by the fact that when a female and male character are on an equal standing the amount of gay shipping surrounding those two is a lot less prevalent. Obviously it's still their because, duh, thats just how shippings work, but it is not nearly as large or intense as when the specific scenario I described above occurs. Like Kirishima and Mina (yes I know my only examples are from MHA), they are equals, and as such I have seen little to no argument against their relationship and a decrease in krbk work---which is also due to the recent MONUMENTAL rise of bkdk. Of course I know that a lot of shipping is due to fetishization and that this realization most likely isn't new or original but I have no one in real life to talk with about it with and want to get it out of my head. Like, why would I wanna watch a women settle for second place in a mans life, I already see that shit on the daily bruh.

[unicornjoking1111]

Don't believe that void state exist? I got you!

So believing in something were whatever u desire will happen instantly is a really shocking and unbelievable thing to hear! Especially the ongoing experiences we face throughout our life which can be frustrating and unbelievable.... I will make it simple!

I am not sure if you will believe in void state.. but I will tell you what made me believe in void state!

The success stories!!!

There are a lot! I mean alot of success stories present here regarding void state! But lemme tell you a few questions!

Is all these success stories real?

Maybe! Because anyone can fake a success stories and us people have a really good knowledge regarding the void state aren't we 😂? But there are millions of success stories here and you think all the people waste their time into putting a fake success stories for views and attention? If you say that yes all the success stories aren't real.. then think again cause we all have brains everyone use it!

Nevielle goddard!!

Do you believe in him? Of Course because this community wouldn't exist without him 🙃🙃 so u might be aware that the void state is also came from him! (I might be wrong cause there are some people who knew about the void state before nevielle) but instead of void state he used "I am" and also gave his method on how to use it! This is the post I saw! The creator of this community itself explained about the void state what more could u expect 😭😭😭

Moonlighth0pe!!

For me personally! One of the mind blowing success stories and one of the person who made me shift from a loa girly to a void girly is due to her! Not only did she managed to get into the void state with such hard challenges but she also inspired almost everyone! Also the success stories with her photos made me believe her so much because the photos are not from any social media so can confirm that this is real and also the success story is truly shocking and exciting! Because she has her desired body, luxury (such as yacht,shoes,trips and also her dress which I really loved 😍) these are hard real evidences she posted which made me believe in the void. Even if you don't believe her or some people will say AI or some bullshit! Why would a person like her be on the Tumblr if she has everything she wanted? Think about it! Like you have a luxury yacht,trips and a type of body she has and so on... Why would she wanna be here anyway? She would lived her life to the fullest!

Our bloggers!

The knowledge and effort the void bloggers make are truly helpful and hands off to them! But there are some bloggers who have been exposed to lying for "entering the void"! But just because they lie does that mean the void is not real? Think again! Because this world is truly imagination and nothing can stop you! The void state is real no matter if you believe it or not! Even if you still don't believe it the only way to make u believe is to test it yourself! Try it! Would u like to do it no matter what? Or just be a Hatter and roam around?

At last me!!

I believe that void state is real 💯 because I tried it out myself and I am gonna say that this is real because I felt the symptoms of how the void state feels like such (no senses, floating) I believed like about 85% now I believe 100% that this is real. This might lead to another question! Just because I had symptoms of entering the void state doesn't mean the void state is real cause u didn't manifest anything? My answer is....

I believed it! I am still gonna believe it no matter what! Cause that's how much trust I have in myself! Plus all these hard facts I have given and still u refuse to believe it shows how much limitation and immaturity u have about yourself and not seeing the beauty of what actually life is all about...

If this post really made u believe it! Don't be so frustrated if u didn't get into the void state! And also if you didn't enter the void state don't overthink about how void state isn't real and shit! Just come back to this post and remind yourself!

I have given you all the logic stuff I could have given you! To prove that this is real! If you still don't believe... try it yourself! It's your path and I know for sure it's going to be wonderful 😍😍😁😁😁

Once I enter the void I will make sure I will show you the luxury stuffs (since I am very materialistic than I ever imagined lol and also I am living in luxury so... Why not more 😅) I will make sure I will get into the void no matter what and be the next success story! And you will be too 😄😄😍

For now goodbye...

[einsatzzz]

Ein 🥺 is it possible for you to talk about Tsunayoshi x Kurumi ship. I wanna know loreee about them, what is their relationship like? how did it all go down, if it does!!!! 😭 i need the tea

OCtober Day 9: Relationships - TsunaRumi 🐟🎀

Hi Jojo! Thank you for sending this ask and sorry it took a while, I thought of using it for today's prompt "Relationships" 😆💖✨Here's a ship chart of the cutest pairing among the three otps that we have! 🫡

Here's a song that really fits them too (mostly Kurumi POV XD)!

Ship Chart Notes

How It Happens - A bit unsure for Kurumi on this one. Because for her it's crush at first sight but the deeper feelings only set in a bit later.

Handling Conflict - Lowkey the same and are quick to forgive & apologize to each other when they realize their mistake.

First to Confess/Propose - Kurumi's #1 problem is that she has difficulties expressing her feelings, especially more to people outside her Family and especially more if it involves deep feelings. Her dressing up as she pleases and trying to be friendly with people is just her steps to fixing that problem but she still has a long way to go. So in this case, Tsuna will have to be the one who steps up.

Cooking & Penmanship - Kurumi is extremely shit at cooking and her penmanship isn't that readable. Tsuna wins by default.

Housework - Tsuna would never let her do too much housework, unless he wants the house to blow up. He'd rather do it all himself. If she insists, he'd give her the safest ones like folding clothes. Ah yes, Tsuna...Vongola boss? No! Kurumi's housewife.

Most of the Speaking - "Excuse me, miss! Tsuna-kun asked for no pickles for his order! 😄"

They are my beloved Idiots to Lovers ✨💕

Daily Life Stuff

When they first met, she kinda challenged him to a fight with similar rules to Tsuna's fight with Mochida (if you hit me one time then you win!). She beat him up real good initially but Tsuna won the battle in the end (thank you Dying Will bullet). But why did Kurumi even challenge him in the first place? Ask Kana.

Despite the fight, Kurumi thought of Tsuna as someone very cute right from the start, she just held herself back (it was so hard for her to do this). Then, Kurumi thinks Kyoko is super cute too! So she thought Tsuna and Kyoko would make a very cute couple together. Because of this, she offered to help Tsuna in setting them up, except they keep failing since (it turns out) Kurumi's romance knowledge is limited to shoujo manga. Her first love also ended in failure.

They both bonded over the fact that they'll be mafia/yakuza bosses in the future despite wanting to live a normal life. Only thing is that, they're both raised differently. Tsuna was raised as a normal kid, but was recently overwhelmed by the revelation that he's gonna become a mafia boss. On the other hand, Kurumi was raised/trained to become a yakuza boss from childhood, but she still secretly yearned for a normal life.

Other things they bonded over: Bad grades, history of getting bullied/ignored, being idiots in romance, cherishing their friends/family

Romance stuff aside, they're really just good friends that can rely on each other. Though it was the Oniyanagi side's mission to assist in Tsuna's training, Kurumi may or may not have forgotten about that at some point. She just helps him out as much as she can as his friend (even though sometimes she accidentally makes it worse dsjbfvfdsvf a non-issue, considering the problems Tsuna runs into daily with&because of his family/friends).

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

[simplyzeke7372]

I feel like not nearly enough people talk about (in my humble and very easy to be wrong opinion) one of the BEST Miguel O'Haras around.

MY BOY FROM THE GAME SPIDER-MAN EDGE OF TIME. This game served as a loosely connected sequel to another Beenox Spider-Man game, Shattered Dimensions which as far as I know is essentially the OG Spiderverse event. For anyone who isn't very aware of Miguel outside of Across The Spiderverse, Miguel O'Hara is a irish-mexican man in the year of 2099, he works at the super corporation Alchemax and got his powers after trying to reset his DNA when his boss (also his secret dad if I recall) drugged him with Rapture and another employee tried to kill him by sabotaging the machine that he was using. Rapture being a future drug that bonds to your DNA, the reason he was drugged was because he was trying to quit over inhumane experimentation.

If you wanna know more, you can look it up. I'm here to talk specifically Edge of Time, the game opens Miguel up extremely well. His first words in the game (that are technically chronological) are as follows

"I keep trying to tell myself I'm just jealous of Walker Sloan's progress. It was only 5 years ago that he first showed up at Alchemax, talking about harnessing energy from the fourth dimension. Now he won't stop until he's running the place. I know his type, he's thinking beyond Alchemax, aiming towards who knows what? He's the exact type of corporate monster I've sworn to rein in. Especially if he's mucking with time travel, the year 2099 might not be much, but it's all mine. And he's not gonna change it."

This sets Miguel up extremely well, he isn't like Peter where he's all quips and jokes, he's a fun guy and joker when he's MIGUEL, but he's a lot more serious when he's Spider-Manning...usually. His aim is also far more big than Peter's usual deal, Alchemax is like his sworn enemy, they're the kind of company who see purely in statistics and how they can get what they want. As an Alchemax employee himself it has a very fun contrast of Miguel O'Hara being an employee but Spider-Man is against them. 2099 is...a very bad time, there's cannibalistic gangs with super powers or super tech, every issue we have now is amplified. But Miguel sees it as HIS home, one that he has to save.

The game then goes along with him breaking into Alchemax and following Walker Slone through the building, listening to dialogue and evil plans the whole nine yards. It becomes a race against the figurative clock (there isn't a time limit for the player but whatever) as he hears the time portal is activating, Walker really is about to go back and make Alchemax in his image years before it was founded and eliminate any and all competition with both it and his 2099 knowledge. Miguel arrives just in time to see him go through, but not stop him, diving in after him the webbed hero is seemingly ensared by the timeline itself as strange tendrils made of the portal's energy hold him in a state of limbo. Seeing the future...of the past that is, of Peter Parker's death at the hands of Anti-Venom (who's his own whole thing I'll get into someday maybe.)

Ejected from the portal as time itself reshapes and his whole world and history is altered, Miguel is left unaffected presumably because of his diving into the portal. We then see how Peter's life changes as well, first he's at the Daily Bugle talking to MJ on the phone when the timeline shifts and he's an employee at Alchemax explaining he has to work with Otto Octavius in the DNA lab and can't go out to eat with her, and that he's also given some of his DNA to the database. (Miguel uses this to somehow make a time transcending psychic link between them which allows them to communicate in real time at their two different points in the timeline)

I'll try not to just recount the entire game from here on, but as Miguel achieves contact with Peter he tries to explain how he saw him die on the sixty sixth floor and how he wants him to stay away from it (also filling him in on what's happened, which makes the connection to Shattered Dimensions as he remembers Miguel seemingly as well as the other Peters). But Peter instead insists that if a killer is running around he has to stop them. Miguel, as almost anyone would, thinks Peter is a fuckin idiot for this but can't stop him so he just makes sure to constantly remind him how he feels about it.

Miguel through the entire game is essentially always focusing on the endgame, getting Peter out alive and beating Slone to save their timeline. So much so that once Anti-Venom, Doc Ock and Slone get merged into one hideous abomination and Peter asks him to save MJ as he learns she dies in Alchemax (both Miguel and Peter swapped times for Miguel to save Peter). He reacts how you'd expect, not dismissing her life but instead cites all the other things he's juggling, security and drones, a time powered symbiote abomination and trying to get them back to their proper places.

"Fine! I'm a nosy Parker! But now that I've found out it's-"

"What? It's my job to save her? I've got enough to deal with!"

"You can't mean that! You can't just ignore that she's in danger."

"Hey, I'm trying to focus on what's important"

"What's important is NOT standing by and allowing someone to suffer or die because you do nothing! If you don't get that then you don't get the first thing about being Spider-Man."

"You're the one that doesn't get it Parker, the future depends on-"

"My future is meaningless without her!"

.

.

.

"This is gonna be a huge mistake."

"I owe you Miguel...big time."

"Shockin' right you do! But...maybe this'll help even the score for everything the world owes you."

"Thank you...I mean that."

Even though Miguel thinks he shouldn't waste the precious time they have by saving one person and risking their timeline, he does it because of Peter. Fighting through hordes of Alchemax security and time portal emerging symbiote doc ock arms until he goes into freefall to save MJ from the elevator she was in falling. He goes against his personal beliefs of the timeline matters more to save someone, because at the end of the day, with Peter in his mind talking to him Miguel simply can't just let her die because it wouldn't be right. The game was also at minimum co-written by someone who worked on the original run of Miguel's comics so that was cool.

[boobabietch]

Chapter III: "From ROTY Glory to Post-Season Agony” | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: bitch Diana and random disclaimer I know that in order to be eliminated they have to play two games against phoenix but for the sake of the story it’s just going to be one, and let’s pretend the stars made it to playoffs that year and that they were not absolutely demolished like they were in real life lmao

A/N: I wanna thank y’all so much for the support to this story I swear I’ve been having a lot of fun writing it, I wanna start building Vico’s relationship with her teammates and we are so close to finally seeing A’ja x Vic on the story and I’m so damn excited. Sorry for the slow burn but I love it and I wanna make u guys crave it for a little bit longer. As always English is not my first language so if you see something wrong please tell me so I can change it asap, comments are super appreciated and my ask box is always open. Also if you have any ideas or requests for this story send them through!!! I would really love to see what you guys want because your wish is my command. Love Sof :)

Making headlines masterlist

The last practice before the playoffs had that familiar intensity, but this time, something felt different. I could sense it in the air, a mix of anticipation, nerves, and something I couldn’t quite place. I knew this feeling too well. The playoffs were around the corner, but today held something more.

We had been on a hot streak, our team coming together at the perfect moment, and I was determined to keep the momentum going. My rookie season had been a rollercoaster, with every moment pushing me to my limits. Now, standing on the brink of the playoffs, I felt like everything was about to come to a head.

Vickie gathered us in the middle of the court, her voice cutting through the buzzing tension. “Alright, listen up,” she said, her tone commanding our full attention. “Before we wrap up practice, I have some news to share.”

The media girl was now there, recording everything, holy fuck.

I glanced around at my teammates, my gaze finding Sydney’s who just rose her eyebrows and sent me an excited smile, the murmur of whispers filling the gaps in the silence. Everyone was on edge, wondering what was coming next.

“Victoria,” Coach called out, her gaze locking onto mine. I froze.

My heart skipped a beat. Why was she singling me out? My mind raced, sifting through any possible mistake or misstep I could have made. But nothing came to mind. I had been busting my ass in every practice.

“You’ve been a standout all season,” Coach began, her voice steady but filled with pride. “You’ve shown incredible growth, both as a player and as a fighter. Every game, every moment, you’ve given it your all.”

I could feel the eyes of my teammates on me, the weight of the moment growing heavier by the second.

“And because of that,” Coach continued, a small smile playing at her lips, “you’ve been named Rookie of the Year.”

It felt like time froze. The words didn’t immediately register, like my brain refused to accept what I had just heard. Rookie of the Year? Me?

My teammates erupted into cheers, and before I knew it, Syd was pulling me into a bear hug, screaming at the top of her lungs, her excitement infectious. “Vic! Rookie of the Year, baby! You earned it!”

I blinked, still trying to wrap my mind around the announcement. Rookie of the Year. The title echoed in my mind, and suddenly, it was real. Every late-night gym session, every brutal practice, every bit of sweat and pain, it had led to this.

Coach stepped forward, her voice quieter now, meant only for me. “You deserve it, Victoria. Now take this into the playoffs and show them what you’re made of.”

“Thank you, Coach,” I muttered, my voice thick with emotion. “Who’s freaking rookie of the year” Dearica yelled.

“I’m fucking Rookie of the year people”

"Victoria O’Hara Shines Bright: Named 2024 WNBA Rookie of the Year"

As the cheers died down and practice resumed, I could feel a strange weight lift off my shoulders. It was validation, everything I had been fighting for since day one was recognized. I was someone in this league now. Rookie of the Year wasn’t just a title; it was a statement.

But my mind can play funny tricks to me sometimes and as much as I wanted to revel in the moment, my thoughts drifted, as they always did, to the reaction of the only person that mattered to me at that time: Diana.

I know I know, fucking pathetic.

She had been a constant thorn in my side all season, pushing and pulling at me like we were playing an entirely different game than the one on the court. I knew she’d hear about this. Hell, she probably already did.

Would it matter to her? Would she see me differently now?

I doubted it.

A part of me wondered if it was enough, not for everyone but for her. The doubt gnawed at me, but I pushed it aside. This was my moment, and I wasn’t going to let miss Diana fucking Taurasi take that away from me.

As practice wound down, Sydney threw her arm around my shoulders, a grin plastered on her face. “Alright, Rookie of the Year, ready to tear that fucking oldie up in the playoffs?”

I smirked, my confidence coming back. “Shut up, I’m the only one that gets to call her fucking oldie. But baby you know it, lets go tear that fucking grandma”

This wasn’t just about the playoffs. This was about proving I was more than just a good rookie. It was about beating the best.

And that meant Diana.

I should’ve wished harder for that one though…

September 6, 2017

There’s something about the playoffs. The energy in the arena is different, charged, almost electric. The stakes are higher, the pressure suffocating. Today, it felt like the whole world was watching, and I could feel it like a noose tightening around my throat. But I didn’t care. This was my moment.

God are you listening? Do you hate me? Or maybe you just find my fucking bad luck very amusing. Because what were the odds that my first match of the playoffs was not only the first one but against fucking Phoenix.

(Actually it wasn’t odd at all like that’s how team placements work Victoria)

But we needed this win. Correction, I needed this win.

And of course, Taurasi was there, a constant in my life at this point, it was like the universe needed her to be in every important mark of my life, looming over me like a shadow I couldn’t shake. Shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if this bitch showed up to my freaking wedding, or to the delivery room of my fucking firstborn. Every time I looked up, she was there. Her eyes didn’t need to say anything anymore. They were just sharp, focused, and reminded me that no matter what I did, she was waiting for me to slip.

But I wasn’t slipping. Not today.

Am I though?

I played my ass off. Every rebound, every assist, every drive, I gave it everything. I was so locked in that I didn’t pay any mind to the deafening screams after the assist that made me had a triple double. The energy in the arena was feeding me, keeping me alive. My teammates were looking to me, and I was answering. Everything was coming together. For a second, I thought, maybe, just maybe, we could win this.

But basketball is a cruel game, especially in the playoffs.

Fourth quarter, three minutes left. We were tied, and I could feel it slipping. Phoenix was pressing hard, and I saw Diana smirking at me from the other end of the court, that same smug, irritating look she’s worn since the first game, I wanted to punch it out, but I couldn’t have another fucking tech because of her

“Victoria STOP STARING” fuck, sorry coach.

I could feel the pressure on my shoulders, the weight of the entire season, my entire team, like a thousand-pound anchor dragging me down. I didn’t know how much more I had left, but I couldn’t stop. Not yet.

I caught a pass, drove into the lane, and spun around my defender, and then there she was. I swear to God, it’s like she just knows when to ruin my day. She bodied me in the paint, and my shot clanged off the rim.

Fast break. Two passes later, the ball was in her hands, and of course, she drained a three in my face.

The arena exploded.

I felt the floor tilt beneath my feet. It was like I couldn’t breathe.

One minute left. They were up by three. We had one chance, one final push, but by then it was too late. Phoenix locked us down on defense, and time bled out like water slipping through my fingers.

The buzzer sounded, and it hit me like a punch to the gut.

We lost.

I just stood there, watching Phoenix celebrate. The fans were on their feet, the flashes from cameras lit up the court, and somewhere in the middle of it all was Diana, arms raised, soaking it in.

I felt like I was going to puke.

I just did my first fucking triple-double, but I didn’t give a shit about that, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.

I could hear the buzz of the crowd, the announcers yelling into their mics about how Phoenix had advanced, about how San Antonio’s season was over.

I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t.

I turned, feeling my heart hammering in my chest, and walked off the court. But during the post-game handshake, certain player grabbed my hand.

Diana.

I wanted to rip it away, but something in her expression stopped me. She wasn’t gloating, not this time. She was just... there. Human.

"Good game, O'Hara," she said quietly. "You played really well."

I stared at her, completely thrown off. This was different. She never did this. Not once in all the months we’ve been at each other’s throats. The anger in my chest flickered for a moment, and for a brief second, I wondered if there was something genuine in what she said.

But before I could even find a response, Diana’s hand dropped, and she was gone, back to her team, her celebration, her victory.

It left a sour taste in my mouth.

I made my way to the locker room, head down, hands clenched into fists. As I walked reporters swarmed, shoving microphones and cameras in my face. But I didn’t hear them. I kept my head down, not stopping until I was finally in the relative quiet of the locker room.

We’d been eliminated. Our season was over.

I threw my shoes into my locker and sat there, staring at the floor, trying to process everything. The adrenaline was still coursing through my veins, making it hard to breathe, to think. I obviously wanted to make everything worse, grabbing my phone, typing Phoenix Mercury vs San Antonio Stars and started scrolling through Twitter.

And I saw it.

Diana Taurasi’s Post-Game Conference

Some reporter asked her about me. About my performance, about the rivalry that had been brewing between us for months. I thought maybe she’d give me a shred of respect after that moment on the court. Maybe we’d finally moved past all the bullshit.

But no. She did what she always does.

"Victoria? Yeah, she’s good. But God, She’s still a little baby! She still has a lot to learn. There’s a difference between playing a good game and knowing how to win, and I think that we already know that she doesn’t know anything about the latter. She’ll figure that out eventually... or not."

Red. I saw red.

I stared at the screen, my blood boiling. The audacity. I should’ve known. That moment we had on the court? A fucking lie. She couldn’t help herself. Had to tear me down just like she always did.

I barely had time to process it when it was my turn for the post-game conference. I walked in, still fuming, but I put on my best neutral face. The reporters were already waiting, firing off questions left and right.

And of course, someone had to ask: "Sara García from New York Times sports, Victoria are you aware of Diana Taurasi’s comments after the game?"

Oh I was aware, I was really fucking aware. But this time I really tried to avoid conflict, I swear I did

“Oh umm, I haven’t been able to hear anything about it, sorry”

But I should’ve known those fucking scavengers where aching for the drama.

SO THEY PLAYED THE GODAMN VIDEO AGAIN

“What do you think about it Victoria?” Sara bitch García from NYT sports asked after the video stopped

What did I think about it, fuck off.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt smaller in my life, me, a 6’2 woman, who just made a triple double and won Rookie of the year, felt small.

I paused, letting the anger simmer just beneath the surface. Fine. If they wanted to play it like this, hell if she wanted to play like this, so be it.

I leaned forward, meeting the reporter’s gaze. “Diana can say whatever she wants. But the reality is, her time’s running out. She’s not invincible, her expiration date it’s really not that far. And Diana next time we meet? I’ll be ready. Trust me.”

The room went silent for a moment, tension hanging heavy in the air. I could feel their eyes on me, waiting for something more, but I didn’t give them anything else. I stood up, nodded to the crowd, and walked out.

This wasn’t over. I was going to be better, I was going to be the best.

"Victoria O’Hara Declares War on Taurasi: ‘Next Time, It’s Going to Be Different’"

Requests are Open!

Masterlist

[slickricklj]

The Return of Jill Valentine: My thoughts on the perception of Jill’s character, and her relationship with Chris Redfield

I saw the film weeks ago, and have been sitting with some thoughts since then. Now that the film is out in most places, I’m going to dive right in. The film wasn't the best, but there are still some things worth talking about. The handling of Jill's character development and personality, and her relationship with Chris are things I've seen discussed, and I definitely have some thoughts on both. There were many things that could have been done better, but there is also much I quite enjoyed about the film, and actually expected to see, because it’s just the nature of the franchise for certain things to happen.

That said, MASSIVE deep dive below.

As usual with fandom, reactions have been mixed. I myself, went in with lowered expectations as, RE tends to drop the ball on so much, and be very predictable. While I have several issues with the film (like pacing, and choices that seem to have been made for the sake of time constraints, or characters not being aware of certain things they usually would be), I can’t lie, the film had some things that I found mildly or very entertaining, and while it failed to deliver the proper return and real FOCUS Jill should have had IMO (and a not lazy design), it was nice to FINALLY see Jill interact with other major characters, and to see everyone get a chance to shine.

That said, one thing that annoyed me were some comments claiming that Jill was being icy towards Chris, and somehow she’s been ruined, and still “Nu Jill” from RE3make, who’s not the REAL Jill. Well, simply put, that is a bunch of bull. Jill Valentine is still the same character she’s always been, and what some folks need to take into consideration is that naturally, HER experiences shape who she is, and ALSO some of the personality traits people think are new, have IN FACT, always been a part of her character. Perhaps the problem is some people never actually had a grasp of who she is, and clung to their own ideas. Even with some less than stellar performances over the years, she never changed because of a voice actress, or a writer change. The core of who Jill is, is still the same. Different situations and characters have warranted different aspects of who Jill is to come to the surface, and forced her to develop from them.

Jill’s relationship with Chris in the film, is actually one of a close and PERSONAL bond (a near 20 year connection at this point in time). Chris decided to hear the latest on what Rebecca found out from her research (this was an impromptu visit). The FIRST thing she asks him is, “Where’s Jill?” Which suggests she is used to them being together, like they come as a packaged deal.  Chris says he’s making Jill write up the report for their mission from the night before. Rebecca immediately calls him out for him doing that to punish her, and I was here for it.

Chris didn’t wanna get the 3rd degree from Rebecca, and impatiently asked her if her tests turned anything up yet. Rebecca explained it’s an improved T-virus, and all of the infected victims had needle marks.

Chris asked, “No bites?” She told him no. This virus was not spread via saliva or bite marks, and also THEIR victims, did not become infected. They simply died from their wounds. From her understanding, this virus wasn’t spreadable through the air, or saliva (bites). Chris went on to say they had to stop whoever was behind this, “Fast.”

What I found interesting was Rebecca’s reaction to his urgency and demeanor. She appeared to be thinking a bit deeper about what was really on his mind, when he said this.

She appeared to have assumed that Chris was in a hurry, because he was worried about something having happened to Jill, like possibly being bitten.

When Chris told her no, she had a faint sigh of relief. I didn’t feel she was really all that worried, because why limit it to a bite, when she just said the virus was spread via needles, was not airborne, and those bitten do not turn (which means there is no infection)?  Also, if she was concerned about that, why not have asked about that sooner?

Rebecca looking at Chris like, “Chris...I KNOW you aren’t trying to call someone else reckless!”

Rebecca asked him why he was so hung up on that. She had me in stitches, because she called out his own hypocrisy (ironically she called him and Leon out on their BS in Vendetta as well…this time she didn’t display any regret in how she handled Chris).

This was kind of interesting to me, because the vibe felt like she was commenting on a personal relationship, rather than a professional one. She empathized with Jill’s situation, and made Chris consider the fact that, after EVERYTHING Jill had been through, here she was, FINALLY able to return to the field, and Jill more than likely, blames herself for what happened to her, and everything that Wesker used her for. She’s trying to make up for it. One has to consider that Jill literally has not actually been on the field for nearly 10 years at this point (late 2006-whenever she first returned since Vendetta and the start of this film). Rebecca was also correct in what she told Chris about himself. He too can be “reckless” and risk his life.

On one hand, I don’t like that, Chris hasn’t (apparently), considered Jill may still blame herself for the actions she had no control over, especially since the very first thing she did, after being freed, was she apologized to him. She even asked his partner for that mission, Sheva, for forgiveness, after explaining that she had no control, but was still aware.

Forgiveness has actually been a theme in many of the games Jill has made appearances in. I will touch on this more, in a bit.

Even with Chris, who sometimes fails to see the bigger picture on things, it was a little off-putting (for me), that after all those years, he wouldn’t realize Jill might still feel guilt and regret, and this is despite it already being established via Rev2, Chris and Jill had some private conversations (we at least know Chris talked to her about what she missed out on and how hard Barry took her “death”) during some of the time leading her road to recovery. However, I appreciate the writer’s intention. It shows that this isn’t a professional relationship, this is about a very CLOSE and PERSONAL relationship. Chris cares deeply about Jill’s entire being, and vice versa. It’s actually sweet that Chris believes Jill didn’t need to blame herself, and he just wants her to back to her usual self. The thing is, part of the healing process, is also being able to forgive one’s self.

Chris contemplates on what Rebecca said to him, and he then finds Jill and approaches her. Jill stops what she’s doing, and Chris tells Jill that he wants her off the case, and that she needs some time off (it’s not even given as an order, but more like a plea). Jill scoffs at that, like, “You can’t be serious!”

Chris tries to clarify himself, saying that it’s GOOD she’s back, he just does not want her to push herself too hard, as she’s been through a lot. He doesn’t say this as a mere “factual” basis, but this is Chris emotionally trying to get Jill to compromise with him. He’s telling her what he wants from her (to be on the field with a clear head/to be her usual self), because he cares. There’s no talk about a partnership or anything professional, let alone him not wanting to work with her anymore. This feels more like someone talking to their significant other.

Jill responds by bringing up what happened to her, when under mind control from Wesker. Jill, first, isolated the fact that she was ordered to kill him specifically. She would then say “all of you.” Although I do not feel the writing was taking into account everything that happened to her, or that she’s said this before (moreorless), Jill tells him she was aware, but could not control her actions. It bothers her that Wesker (and all of those who aided him), took her autonomy from her, violated her entire being, and then he made her go after the person she cares the most about, on top of leading to the deaths of others.

^A reminder that the FIRST image in RE5 is of Jill, after having infected a man, who was used as a trap to kill off fellow BSAA agents. She was made to sit there and watch this man BEG for his life, with her own body refusing to help him. She has to watch him suffer as part of her torture.

In RE5, Jill was always one step ahead of Chris, and she kept tabs on him during his mission. She was actively working against him (the opposite of her nature), until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and the fact she had been around Chris—right under his nose. Wesker taunted Jill when he ordered her to kill Chris. Jill appeared to also not be allowed to speak as well. I say this, because she spoke (with attitude) when threatening Irving to “deal” with Chris and Sheva, by having him inject himself with a dominant species plaga, and a moment such as when she told Excella and Wesker Chris and Sheva had arrived. When they face each other, suddenly she’s silent (seriously if they remake this game, get rid of the hissing cat crap, and let Jill taunt Chris…making it more psychological).

I wish more people would grasp how hellish for Jill, the story in RE5 was. Her story, and involvement was the centerpiece of it all, as Jun Takeuchi said himself. Jill KNOWS Chris is looking FOR HER. She sees him demanding to know where she is, relentlessly fighting to find her, but she is not able to reveal herself. Even when Chris shot her mask off, Jill suddenly disengaged from combat, and purposefully kept her face HIDDEN, until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and took the pleasure of revealing her to Chris, knowing what was about to happen would mess with Jill psychologically.

^She reacted to losing her mask!

Nicole SLAYED this line delivery. You can HEAR Jill’s anguish in her voice.  Chris would go on to try and let her know he can understand, at least part of what she must be going through, and warns her that if you let a nightmare stick with you, it can swallow you up. This is actually part of the internal struggle the main villain, Dylan, has.

Jill received what Chris said, and understood where he was coming from. She didn’t try to argue with him, threaten him, or blow up in his face. She calmly tried to assure him that she was fine now (which is not entirely true), and that he did not need to worry so much about her. Jill may try to convince herself of that, but it’s not really the case.

It wouldn’t be the first time Jill has ever minimized how she’s really feeling to him. You had her keeping her composure long enough for Chris to go pursue Wesker in RE5, but a minor example could be seen when they raided UB’s Russia based facility. When they made their way inside, Chris said this was the place, and Jill was like, “Yeah…”

The thing is, they always try to keep one another sharp, focused, and encouraged. So, it’s a natural reoccurrence, where Chris worries about her…excessively at times. 

Again, with some people not understanding what is actually happening, I’m highlighting this to show the symbolism within this moment. Jill grabs TWO water bottles, and tosses one to Chris, assuring him that she’s “fine now,” basically to say he doesn’t need to/she doesn’t want him to worry so much about her. She’s trying to reclaim her life she had, to get back to her “old self” so to speak. This shows warmth and closeness. It’s like an invitation. Like someone saying, “Hey, come sit with me, grab a drink.” Jill’s not pushing him away, she’s INVITING him in. Chris is not leaving her side, and she doesn’t want him to. THEY BOTH KNOW THIS! Think about it. Jill had just RELOADED her gun, and was letting off some steam, but she stopped for him. She didn’t even complain about doing the paper work (assuming she actually did it).

Jill knows AHEAD of time, Chris is going to be stuck on her. She’s used to it.

^Chris giving no fucks about the poor pilot! I still LMAO at Jill’s glare at him.

^Jill already telling him to LISTEN to her, because she KNEW his ass was gonna be hung up on her.

“We can’t just leave you here!” & “Well yeah, but...” So IN character for Chris when it comes to Jill. I actually had to laugh during the film, when just like CVX AND Darkside Chronicles, Chris was willing to leave Claire by herself, but when it came to Jill he was dead set on finding her, and he didn’t want to be away from her. Heck he was about to ditch Sheva, and Piers even experienced something similar when he was going after Carla.

Jill LITERALLY had to repeat herself and put her HANDS on him to push his stubborn behind to leave her. Jill had to ask him a LITERAL question. “Don’t you trust your partner?” I’ve seen some people misinterpret this many times. Jill told Chris THEY (Chris/Sheva) had to stop Wesker, before it was too late. When he wouldn’t budge, she said he had to go on without her, as they were the only ones who could stop Wesker in time. She asked him if he trusted his partner, SHEVA! Like, after all this, don’t you trust this woman to help you by now? This is why both of them look at her! As you can see in my screens, Jill is even gesturing her hand over toward Sheva! She’s not talking about herself, which wouldn’t make any sense anyway, as they have trust. Chris needed to TRUST SHEVA to see things through. Have confidence THEY could make it, without her. Anywho...(:P)

Chris talking about someone being reckless, yet...

*Something those who played the 3ds version, will know is different right away.

When they were on their mission the night before, Chris got together with the local Swat team, and Jill went in ahead. Chris was telling her it sounded like it could be a bioweapon situation, and wanted her to cordon off the street and wait for backup. She calmly said she was already inside, and checking for survivors. He tried to get her to not rush in alone, but she got annoyed and cut him off before he could finish telling her it was an order. LOL! Jill was having none of that shit.

Her scoffing at him, for getting on her about her actions, is not because they are distant, I’d say, but rather it’s because this has been a recurring issue for them ever since she got back on the field with him. Jill’s basically trying to redeem herself, and feel more like her old self, by trying to stop the bad guys, trying to save anyone she can, regardless of the potential danger, yet more victims keep turning up dead or have to be put down. Then you have Chris feeling something is off with her, and he worries her actions will possibly get her or someone else killed. Perhaps now is the first time they’ve talked about it. Sometimes even the closest of people, have things they don’t talk about, or there could be some issues that a person feels they have to work through themself.

The writing doesn’t really give us much to go on sadly, we have to go with this idea, that there’s certain things they haven’t talked about. Jill not knowing of Piers really doesn’t make sense for many reasons, for instance, and I would hope the writer was just a little short-sighted, or simply phrased things a certain way for people unfamiliar with the games (maybe the games will address these issues in the future). When they reached her, he asked why she rushed in alone, and she said she wasn’t going to wait for backup, if there’s a chance someone is in danger (think of her leading Nemesis away from the subway station in RE3make or her attempting to save the security guard in the film). Jill’s frustration with his lack of understanding why she feels she needs to do this, is shown, when he brings up her actions again.

Chris mentioned “this guy” Piers, was someone he wanted to take his place on the field. Chris said himself, that after RE5’s events, he felt like he had accomplished all he had set out to do, and found the meaning behind what he fought for.

Thinking about the future, realizing what he was fighting for (which I’ll discuss more later in this post), and the possibility of other people like Wesker popping up, he chose to become a captain in the SOU, sometime after he and Jill returned from Africa (this path for him was something teased as an easter egg in RE5). Chris became overwhelmed by everything that happened in RE6— all of the death, regrets, and failures. He was DONE. Chris was so done, he chose the worst time to bring up Wesker to Jake, and did not care at all if Jake killed him, so long as he helped get a vaccine created.

^I included some parts of conversations between Chris/Sherry, Piers/Sherry, Jake/Chris and then Chris/Piers – to highlight how Chris was for sure retiring from the BSAA after this. How his behavior made him unpredictable and hard to rely on (which may be part of Chris’s annoyance with Jill in the film), and then Piers acknowledging that Chris did not need to recklessly put his life in danger with the way he approached Jake. He was not thinking straight.

His reckless behavior caused him to take Carla’s bait, and lead another team to their deaths, because his desire for revenge, and survivor’s guilt over the loss of his team in Edonia, blinded him to what mattered, and what was really going on.

Leon would eventually snap him out of that stupor, where Piers had been failing (part of that is because Chris was looking at Piers as his subordinate, not his equal). Leon physically stopped him from shooting ‘Ada,’ without knowing it was him at first, and he talked Chris down. 

Their scene showed Leon providing a defensive, but more calm approach to dealing with Chris and his blind rage, rather than trying to meet him with the exact same energy. Chris couldn't win this argument, or deny the facts. Leon let him know there was a wider scope to what was going on, and that he was willing to protect ‘Ada’ all costs, not because he’s a “simp” (as some want to believe, but this isn’t the case), but because she’s a key witness to what’s going on with Simmons, and all of what was going on went back to him. Mind you Leon and Helena were also being framed by Simmons for the whole thing that happened in the US, and he lost a good friend in the then current president, whom he had to kill.

Ironically it was Piers who was shoving, violently, the images of their fallen comrades in Edonia, in Chris’ face, and telling him he owed it to them to remember (Complaining about the state he found Chris in even). Piers was encouraged to bring Chris to China depending on his condition (so he was not forced to do it, he just felt it was where he belonged) only because they had experience facing the BOWS present, and he told Chris he was bringing him back with his team, one way or another. Part of Chris, felt the only way he could remember and get his life back, was to join this mission in China. This meant Chris needed to take on a lot of responsibility. The problem was Chris was not ready for that, and HE needed time off. HE needed to be rehabilitated (dude even had acute memory loss from a severe head injury, and I despise how carelessly this game treated it and his mental health overall).

Chris was left in a situation with someone with the same hot-blooded temperament as him (even going so far as to tell Jake he’d have killed him if he had killed Chris, DESPITE Jake’s significance in saving the world). The whole FORCED Chris Vs Wesker thing being rehashed, made me roll my eyes, just like the predictable outcome for Piers. I always believed he would die before the game even dropped. Just because of how RE works. When Piers wasn’t meeting Chris with the same hot-headed energy, he sometimes made valid points to Chris.

Piers told Chris they should escort Sherry and Jake, and pointed out how Neo-Umbrella was after them. Mind you, that six months prior, Chris met Sherry, whom he knew all about from Claire. Think about that. Chris was so blinded by his RAGE, that he didn’t even CARE about Sherry’s well-being (he literally said they were on their own), after briefly assisting her and Jake. Chris was NOT thinking about how it would affect CLAIRE, if she found out that he NOT ONLY was the one who arranged for the chopper that Neo-Umbrella took down, and caused Sherry to go missing just as long as Chris was, but then he ran into her AGAIN, and left her to fend for herself? Imagine, what that would have done to their relationship! Then again Leon wasn’t even fully aware of the fact Sherry was an Agent in the DSO (a process which began right after Wesker was killed), and knew NOTHING about her going missing for six months! There is NO EXCUSE for that! That SHIT does NOT make ANY sense!

Chris, became distracted, and only cared about pursuing the snake that Carla unleashed SOLELY as a trap for Chris’ new team. Chris took the bait, and she mockingly said, “Looking for me boys?” She infected the only other survivor of their new team (who Chris couldn’t bring himself to kill before fully transforming just like in Edonia), and she said “Welcome to China!”

Piers lost his cool with Chris, because Chris kept being stubborn, and would not listen to reason. He was a loose canon once he resumed command. Chris had to refrain himself from becoming violent towards Piers, just to try and shut him up (Chris kept trying to use his rank to get Piers in line as well). Piers said some hurtful/triggering things to Chris once again, though I want to say his intention was to find a way to get Chris to listen to him, and think more clearly, by bringing up sore spots, like the rookie Finn. He even asked him what happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, and did he even care about their mission.

Some have claimed Piers should’ve said Jill, but the point is about this NEW ROLE Chris took on. Working with a new partner, Sheva, in RE5 was a big change for him. He never took on other partners, after losing Jill. He hated the feeling of being the “one who survived.” That’s why everything that would happen after RE5, depended solely on Jill’s survival. Having her back, made him feel it was all worth it. The both of them were sacrificing their own lives, so that others could live theirs. So, working with younger generations of soldiers that would entrust their lives to him, was a HUGE responsibility for Chris. He even told the team in Edonia, it was HIS job to make sure they made it out alive.

Chris no longer had Jill as a safety net, and it was no longer just them as a duo. He had taken on a new role with a team depending on his leadership, while she worked on reclaiming her life.

Chris had to deal with things like this. It wasn’t a surprise to me that Piers responded to Chris saying he wanted him to take his place as Captain, with reluctance. After everything that happened, it made sense why. He saw what happened to the man he looked up to, and aspired to be like, as did many others who had since perished. Though, we also would find out in the Marhawa Desire manga, which was set several months before the events in RE6, that Piers lost someone he was “very close” to, as Chris put it.

Merah Biji was someone Piers took an interest in. She wasn't the only girl (there was Sophie, and also him wishing he could say more to the “pretty” Captain’s Sister Claire), but she was the one he grew most attached to. Merah had lost her parents in the RC incident, and dedicated herself to stopping bioterrorism. She was a researcher who moved to the combat field. She trained against a bunch of men, and within a year, she was beating them in sparring sessions. The ace of the Far East branch, met the ace of the North America branch, both knew of who the other was…the rest was history. 

When it comes to Merah, Piers was very much like Chris is with Jill. Giving her certain looks, taking particular interest in her and what she’s doing (even her eating habits), fiercely protecting her, and showing the utmost confidence in what they could do on the field together. They had a special bond, that CHRIS himself took notice of (smiling at them and even telling Piers to focus at one point), and he even told another character, Ricky, he wouldn’t dare let something happen to Merah, because he’d have to face Piers’s wrath. LOL! Merah moved him out of the way from an attack, and died from her wounds. Her last words telling Piers to work with Chris, and rid the world of bioterrorism.

^Merah literally was cut from the same cloth as Jill, and heck Sheva too for that matter as well!

So in a way, Piers was keeping a promise to Merah. I try to keep this in mind, in hindsight, as it’s very informative when trying to understand Piers’s own headspace. Piers himself was never meant to replace Chris. People talk about how the devs mentioned they thought about developing an alternate ending where Chris could die, but they didn’t do it because it felt cheap. They thought about doing the same thing with Jill in RE5. It would’ve just been a bad ending (like RE1 or Rev2). The thing is, Chris would’ve completely given up, and quit had Piers lived. There would’ve been no “good ending” if both lived. Piers had to die, for Chris to actually do what he said he needed to, which was to get his life back. They got the reaction they wanted from fans. This drama was done this way, because THEY felt Chris and Leon were too much alike, and since Chris just had RE5, they let him have the more dramatic story of the two.

Going back to the scene with Chris and Jill, one should be able to see how loaded Chris’s words to Jill are. He’s talking from his own experience without saying much. He even acknowledged that he probably would have done the same thing as her. Saying they always have to make tough choices like that. He’s telling her how they risk their lives all the time, but with them having been doing this for so long, they’ve become numb to what their fight encompasses. He warns her that they have to be that much more careful, because if they (not she, but they), let the numbness they feel get to them, it could engulf them right down to their very souls. Like, they could lose themselves in every sense of the word.

As a quick reference, this is Ricky from the manga. He’s trying to honor his uncle, who he saw himself a protector of, by trying to expose the woman who caused all of the tragedy. Note how he said he felt numb, as he watched all of the chaos and destruction in China.

Not once does Jill disagree with anything Chris said, but she’s frustrated, with how Chris doesn’t understand her. What she feels they need to be focused on. Why she feels she needs to be on the field, and why she’s behaving the way she does. It’s not just her trying to redeem herself, but she is pissed off, not at him, but at what this unknown bioterrorist(s) is doing. Jill’s real focus is aimed at the bad guys. Jill herself had been poisoned and used as a weapon, so you can bet Jill takes this personal. You literally can hear the anger in her tone when she says this. LONG ago, Jill made it her responsibility to protect others, and to fight so others could have futures (again same with Chris of course). So, if people want to dare say she’s a bitch for speaking her truth, and having some attitude then (like she’s NEVER shown anger/annoyance/frustration before, even though she wasn’t having shit from Wesker or even Barry in RE1)…

Rebecca must be a bitch!

Claire must be a bitch!

Sheva must be a bitch!

And the men are also just tryhard “boss bitches.” The list goes on!

All of that said, I mentioned earlier that Forgiveness is a reoccurring theme in stories Jill has been involved in. In RE1, her forgiveness/trust of Barry determines whether or not he lives or dies, and the impact extended far beyond that one game.

I included Barry’s story in Rev2, because Jill continues to have relevance in his life years later. Aside from references to her story in RE1 with Barry, Alex had used Uroboros as well (with Barry also making it clear he found out what happened in Africa…so I assumed he’d met up with Jill and Chris since her letter), but Jill’s forgiveness and understanding of Barry’s situation, is what allowed him to go on to live, and protect his family. He came back for Jill in the original RE3, and Jill (along with Chris) later invited him to join the BSAA, as an advisor. Claire even got to meet Barry and his family. Jill maintained her friendship with Barry, and she wanted him to heal his relationship with Moira, and told him not to be overbearing (in the Japanese text she outright told him she thinks he can be too meddling with the girls), and to cherish his time with his loved ones.

These connections would lead Barry on a path to find his daughter, and her overcoming her own fears, taking responsibility for her own actions, becoming a survivor, and appreciating what she had. Both of them were able to realize their own faults, and find forgiveness AND understanding from each other. Barry admitted he could be overbearing, which means he took to heart what Jill told him. Moira herself had also saw firsthand, the kind of loneliness and grief a father can feel, over regrets and devastating loss.

Brad abandoned the team at the start of RE1, out of fear, but hovered around the area, trying to make contact. He was never brave enough to face the reality of the situation head on. Ultimately him not leaving, allowed the remaining STARS members to escape alive. Brad chose to not fight back against Umbrella, like Jill and Chris were. In the remake of 3, Brad heard of Jill’s situation, and her plans to move out of RC (due to her investigation being stopped). He delivered a pizza with a slipped note to her, and Jill wrote back to him, though she never got to deliver it to him.

Brad, said he hoped that Jill wasn’t mad at him for keeping his head down, when the others had been trying to build a case against UB. He wasn’t trying to fight back, and was able to keep his job. He told her he had to slip this message using the pizza delivery guy. Jill was replying back to him over everything he asked about. Jill showed her forgiveness to Brad, by wanting to ask him to get involved, and pick up with where her investigation left off, IF he heard something happened to her.

If you look in Jill’s apartment, she left notes on her poster for this same delivery service he used, that ran 24/7, so she intended on using the same method as him, to try and get her package sent to him. Jill had been packing up her stuff to move to a new place (which is shown at the end of the game). Jill never had a chance to deliver her package to him, due to the spies monitoring her apartment (there was other activity going on in the city as well). Nonetheless, Brad would try to warn her about Nemesis, and after being bitten, Jill did not want to leave him behind, so he asked if they were still a team. She said “Always” (meaning she had forgiven him), and Brad told her not to fuck up like he did, before pushing her to go on without him. Jill thus, was thrusted into a situation, where someone she trusted was taken from her. 

However, that said, look at Jill’s opening monologue to OG RE3:

Jill mentioned that no one dared oppose UB, and this inaction would ultimately lead to their destruction. She said that perhaps they had to suffer the consequences of their actions, but she would NOT forgive them. You see her shut her eyes like, damn if ONLY these people had actually done something. This hurts her. Jill would be placing blame on the traitors within the RPD, possibly those who chose not to believe their story and just carry on as if nothing happened (literally most of STARS was wiped out mind you), and those who KNEW UB was up to no good, and corrupt, for just sitting back and letting things happen. Look at Marvin in OG RE2, he said Chris, Barry, and herself, risked their lives trying to expose UB, but no one believed them. So it’s understandable why Jill would be hurt and upset (the remakes tell things differently though). Things did not have to end up the way they did.  This is LITERALLY no different than how she feels in Death Island, as it was hard for her to really empathize with Dylan, because what he was doing was unforgiveable and he would not stop (much like Ada’s views on Carla in RE6). His nightmare totally consumed him. There was NO WAY IN HELL she would sit back and do nothing!

Even Chris himself had become desperate when all of their attempts to expose UB were thwarted.

Jill’s diary:

Jill wrote about how Chris winked at her, after she stopped him after he punched an officer, and the truth there, was Chris did this on purpose, so he would get “suspended” or go on “vacation” from work. Chris was fed up with not getting anywhere.  It was Chris’s way of hinting it was all good, and he had something brewing. When Chris asked her to come over, late one night, she was shocked to see how he had been fighting on his own, without even telling her of all people. That said, here is what Chris said in his own diary: 

Even though RE3 introduced some retcons to the lore, to account for Jill being removed as the lead of CV, they were very careful to make sure things made sense timeline wise. Chris mentioned that he was running out of options. If you look at his diary, and other notes, even in RE3, you will realize that zombies and BOWS were popping up BEFORE Chris left for Europe! Yet some people act like Jill has no right to be pissed off! They were trying to expose UB, and they were not getting help from ANY of the townspeople that were under UB’s payroll. Plenty was being covered up!

Days later Chris decided to “act up” at work, which allowed him to do some investigating without the prying eyes of traitors in the RPD and UB. Capcom would say that Jill saw Chris off to Europe, and continued her own solo investigation. The remake timeline however, doesn’t state that she would go off to Europe, and her plans were not suggested to involve joining up with Barry or Chris (though Chris didn’t tell her not to eventually join him). Her plans ended up being to move out of RC (before the events of the game began), so she could continue to find a way to hold UB accountable for their actions. 

Seriously, all the BS about Jill having no personality, or how she’s been turned into something unrecognizable, or the bullshit takes about how she’s just like Chris (hilarious when really many characters are following their templates tbh…as I said they even point out how alike Leon and Chris are), and BS about how she’s a bitch because she doesn’t entertain stupid jokes from people she just met, especially when she’s focused on bigger issues, or has VALID reasons not to completely trust people on UB’s payroll etc. It’s tired! Some folks really do not have a grasp on these characters IMO, and some probably spend too much time projecting what they THINK a character outta be, versus seeing them for what they actually are. Opinions are fine, but people should at least KNOW what they are talking about, instead of spreading BS.

 Let’s look at some of Jill’s bios.

Jill – joined STARS because she couldn’t abide by the evil threatening the lives of citizens, wants experiences that make her feel alive, is strong-minded, questions things and will stop at nothing to find answers, says what she thinks, in a frank manner, has a strong sense of justice and responsibility, is impulsive, but behaves calmly during missions, cheerful, independent and determined. The list goes on.

I’ve seen people talk about how she treats the UBCS in RE3make, as if she hadn’t been disrespected, or had valid reasons not to immediately trust them. She was spied on, UB sent nemesis, and Mikhail even knew who she was. I’d have red flags up too!

^Literally some think she actually changed. Trust from her is EARNED. After the betrayals she faced, and all the shadiness going on, it’s wise that she not immediately trust everyone.

Jill trusting any of them had to be earned. She tried to be helpful, and showed concern for many of them, even refrained herself at times, dealing with Nicholai’s BS. She even apologized for a rough start with Carlos, whom she had to rely on (she didn’t have the luxury of depending on people she trusted completely...i.e Chris or Barry). To say she changed in RE3make would be a foolish claim. Her situations changed, and she gave her fitting reactions to things. The characters around her ALL changed. She didn’t take bs (as usual), didn’t care for small talk, she was impulsive, spoke her mind freely, and generally put up her “strong” side, but when the time called for it, her softer side/tone showed itself. She even said “sorry” to  corpses of civilians!

^Jill being considerate of other people’s conditions, and being supportive in BOTH RE3 games. Wow! Who knew she could be so consistent?! :P

I’ve said in the past, that this war on bioterrorism is PERSONAL for both Jill and Chris, because THEY were used as guinea pigs to collect combat data on bioweapons. Set up to be slaughtered all for GREED and POWER. They had targets placed on them after surviving that nightmare. Many other characters had relatives who were victims, and their lives changed, or it was by circumstance they got involved.  So for Jill, it would be foolish to think she would be content with sitting on her ass doing nothing, or going to get drunk, to numb the pain. That is something typically displayed by the males in this series like Parker, Leon, Alexander (Buddy), and Chris. That reminds me…Remember that time in Vendetta, when Chris went to recruit Leon, since he had experience with the Los Illuminados (yeah they still exist post RE4 apparently)?    

Chris treated Leon’s drunken state, a lot like how Piers treated him—getting verbally aggressive, getting in his face, and not really caring (at first) about what he was going through emotionally, because “I got a job for you.” And “It’s OUR mission to bring his ass down!” In both situations, they were hoping to find these guys in a better state of being, so they could just go handle some business against bioterrorists who, in both cases, there was a 6 month time gap as well. Chris became physically aggressive with someone, so he needed to be stopped, and Rebecca had to check Chris and Leon’s BS so they could focus on what mattered. This new virus had a trigger, and it was unknown just how many were already infected. She said, she didn’t think either of them were the kind of people who would sit there and argue, while the world dies. Leon sitting there feeling sorry for himself, and Chris letting a personal vendetta get the best of him (again).

The approach in how someone handles someone can make all the difference, and unfortunately Chris’s dialog with Leon about how he could relate was cut, due to budget being put more into explosions/action over character, and only left in the novel. All that remained was Chris restating he needed him (in his best state) for this mission, and he could use his knowledge and skills. This is NOTHING like Chris’s approach with Jill though. Even with Chris being annoyed by her perceived recklessness, he’s ALWAYS tender in his approach with her, even with this threat rapidly increasing in numbers.

Jill doesn’t blow Chris off when he’s talking about his experience, and allows him to speak his piece. Yes, she went back to what she was doing, but that’s because there was literally nothing left to say. She felt justified, and that was that. Chris is not the boss of her. She’s not his subordinate. They are equals in their relationship.

She didn’t kick him out or tell him to fuck off, even when he was trying to talk to her again, he also doesn’t fight her on her desire to pursue the bad guys. Jill told Chris that, at least with her, she couldn’t afford to sit around and think about the numbness, their souls, etc. They needed to focus on stopping whoever was responsible for what was going on. She TOO isn’t one to sit around as the world dies. Also like Rebecca told Leon, Jill isn’t trying to sit there and feel sorry for herself. Again, she is pissed off about what’s happening because of bioterrorists. She’s spent LONG enough not doing what she dedicated her life to. SACRIFICING things she would like for herself, for the sake of OTHERS in the world. We as viewers, have to consider Jill literally was an UNWILLING participant in bioterrorist activity, and the fact she had to spend YEARS before she could PHYSICALLY do the work she committed her life to doing. Based on what we know, again, she had been inactive on the field for nearly a decade!

Jill has had more than enough experiences where she’s been isolated and could do nothing but sit in her feelings. RE3make and RE5 both had her being caged, be it in her physical living space/city, or her own body.

She had people spying on her 24/7 for several days in the remake, she was worried about possibly still being infected from the mansion, having daily nightmares, and felt that UB would come for her (which they did with Nemesis). 

You’re talking about a girl that CLEARLY came from a very outdoorsy/outgoing life. There were also other things and people she clearly cherished (two of them look like they could be Chris and Claire tbh). Her investigative work shown in RE3make, showed she was willing and able to dig deep to get answers. It’s no surprise that she was struggling with not being able to progress further. Her home became more like a prison for her. 

In RE5, Jill was no longer being treated like a human being, but just as a personal test subject for Wesker, with OTHER humans aiding in his research and bioweapon development. Then she was forced to act as a bioterrorist, obeying orders from these twisted individuals. Consider how Jill really did not have a reason to hope for release, unless she had hoped and prayed Chris would find her. Even if she did, she still had to watch her body do things against him. The same man she had giving her life for. It was not done for the BSAA, or because “he’s my partner.” It’s simply because she cares that deeply for Chris. She could not watch him die. There were no last words or goodbyes. For Chris, she didn’t hesitate, and was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, in hopes of stopping their nemesis.

I’ve referenced this multiple times in the past, but for a better grasp of Jill’s POV in RE5, take a look at her thoughts from the Biohazard 5 Kaitai Shinsho.

Jill had given her life for Chris, only to have Wesker save her from perishing from their fall. He healed her body, with the intent on getting his revenge on her. The same woman who called HIM a slave of Umbrella (which he’d just found out was true). After being unable to enact his revenge, the way he originally intended to, he was said to have wanted to give her a suffering worse than death. Death being the only thing he wished to give Chris. He underestimated both once again, and was so sure that Chris would not live to see the world he was set to create.

After using her to finish his Uroboros project, Wesker used P-30 as a form of torture and control. Sure he might have even been able to sell it for funds or something, but he had no real use for this chemical in his endgame plans with Uroboros. Bare in mind also, Wesker generally, does not keep anything/anyone around beyond their usefulness to him. Because he could no longer use Jill as his first test subject (her antibodies developed from her infection in RE3 made her immune), he found another use for her. He disguised her in a way that didn’t just hide her, but made her something to be feared, as she left death and destruction behind her, which went against her very nature.

^She has to live with these scars. Stuff like this is why she would want to try and SAVE a life. That is who she is!

The woman who thought Wesker was trash for how he manipulated and used Barry as a puppet for his own selfish purposes, he was now doing that, but on a far worse scale with Jill. It’s arguable that Lisa Trevor went through the worst situation of any character in RE, but the main difference here, is that things with Jill were done on a personal level, and her mind had not eroded—she was fully aware and knew who she was.

Even though Chris was able to break through to Jill, and push herself to fight harder to resist, Wesker would overdose Jill, knowing it would cause her to suffer even more. We as viewers, have to consider that the more Jill tried to put up a fight, the more painful fighting (for even just a brief moment of control) was for her.

You can see Jill grabbing her head, crying out in pain as she fights for control. The entire fight, anytime you see Jill like this, this is Jill FIGHTING to be back at Chris’s side! The same way Jill’s whereabouts were fueling Chris along his personal objective, Jill has Chris pushing her to remember him, to fight for herself and to remember who she is. His faith in her, allowed her to help him, help her break free. That is how powerful their connection is.

I know that was a lot there, but with that in mind, one can understand that, despite some shortcomings within the writing, this conversation between Jill and Chris in the film, is the very definition of INTIMACY!

I occasionally see people lacking an understanding of what real intimacy is, and some not even understanding that sex and intimacy are not mutually exclusive. You can have sex and it literally be nothing but a passing moment of time (and not necessarily anything enjoyable for those involved). It’s different when there’s more of a spiritual and intimate connection involved. There’s so much asinine discourse about who should be fucking who…literally seeing people act like Jill OWES sex to Carlos for instance, because he got her the vaccine, and I’m like, “Well damn! In that case, I guess based on all of her other outings, Jill would be giving her body to Barry, Chris, Josh, Parker, Sheva, etc. Don’t forget Kendo for making her handgun, or the people who trained her in her military career!”

I’ve seen even some shippers who focus almost solely on Chris and Jill having sex, as a way to “consummate” their feelings. Some even saying the ONLY VALID reason Jill has not been around or mentioned (even up through Village), is either they fell out, or because she MUST be at home raising her and Chris’ children. It’s bad enough other people will say, she must have retired because it was “too much for her.” Some even out here acting like ALL of the women should be ignored and the focus should stay on the male leads. Like PLEASE. I’ve always said, Jill couldn’t just up and return in some random ass story, without her baggage being addressed. That would be a DISSERVICE to her character, to ignore her personal story. Hell, it’s barely even touched on in Death Island, but the production team, KNEW they had to consider what happened to her, when choosing her to lead the film. 

I’ve also said before that Jill would ONLY grow MORE DETERMINED to eradicate all of this evil and corruption from the world. THAT is who she has ALWAYS BEEN! It’s ALWAYS been part of her character. It is LITERALLY the reason she joined STARS. Also…Chris did order his soldiers to pick up the rest of the squad, before heading off to BSAA’s main HQ...IJS! She COULD be working with him, kind of like how Zoe made connections with him and some other agents. Chris and Jill do INDEPENDENT stuff as well, even if for the same cause. They just would not establish anything, without having re-established Jill’s character. 

Now, about intimacy… Encyclopedia Britannica defines intimacy this way:

Intimacy - the state of being intimate, which is marked by the consensual sharing of deeply personal information. It has cognitive, affective, and behavioral components. Intimates reveal themselves to one another, care deeply about one another, and are comfortable in close proximity.

There are SOOOOO many different types and levels to what intimacy brings, and how it can evolve within a given relationship. Beyond sexual/physical intimacy and expression, there are things such as: 

Intellectual intimacy

Emotional closeness

Spiritual bond

Understanding self and partner

Mutual respect

Communication

Vulnerability

Trust

Independence

These are qualities that exist within Jill and Chris’ personal relationship. It’s something they uniquely share, between each other in this series. They have both worked with others for the majority of their appearances, but the constant is their relationship with each other, sits above the rest. They ALWAYS find their way back to each other, and they don’t really feel whole without the other.

They weren’t assigned partners on one off or circumstantial situations, they chose, or rather they CHOOSE each other. Hell, one might argue it was fate, like how Chris said maybe it was fate how after killing Wesker, he ends up having to save his son, to fight off a virus. Jill and Chris already had a very close bond before we ever see them, and it continues to last even during all of the years they are apart/don’t appear with each other. Death Island makes this abundantly clear. Jill can ‘shoot the shit’ with Chris, right after having a disagreement. Not even addressing each other as partners, yet they operate as two halves of a whole.

They share mutual interests, and ideals, and know each other better than anyone else. They always keep an eye on each other, and show a mutual need for the other to be alive and well. They would stop at nothing to be there for the other (hell Chris didn’t even want to leave her behind when the whole world was at risk). They respect each other, they are most vulnerable with each other, and their trust has always been there. They don’t have to say they love each other, their actions show it, and others recognize what they have between them. It’s even been exploited by others as a plot point.

Hell, Claire knew what she was getting into by calling on the both of them. When Jill complained about not being able to get anywhere with their investigation, if they stuck around with the tourists, Claire offered to break away from them, so they could do their own thing. She witnessed her brother prioritize Jill over everything else, and was shown observing Chris’s reaction to moments with Jill! She knows what’s up! 

^Claire is very observant. IJS. Heck, CLAIRE is guilty of the SAME thing, when she got STUCK on “the type of man she’s attracted to.”

LOL! It’s no different than Parker witnessing Jill’s desperation in finding Chris. The way she lit up hearing that he was ok, and hearing his voice. “Chris!” Not ONCE did Jill ever show the SLIGHTEST concern for hating ass Jessica! LOL! Chris was at least professional about it, saying Jill AND Parker’s names, but Jill was STUCK on Chris! As calm as she was in general, she didn’t even try to hide it. LOL!

^Parker suggested Chris work with Jill, fully understanding she deeply cared about Chris, and would probably feel better working with him.

Note that Chris does not say it, but part of the subtext in their gun range scene, is that Chris is utterly afraid of losing JILL. He CANNOT lose HER! Again, Chris has implied that since her return to the field, HE PERSONALLY, has been with her EVERY STEP of the way. Just like it was him, and him alone, who spent YEARS doing everything he could to find some clue that she was alive, as he REFUSED to believe she perished (a feeling that Jill shared over him as RE1 and her OG RE3 epilogue have shown). It was what was fueling him throughout the entire story of RE5. It was Chris who was still spending time with Jill after Africa (according to Jill). He’s being her consistent support system.

Chris was so desperate to find her, he was afraid to let go of any hint that she was alive. In this moment here, he WHISPERS her name to himself (whispering being a thing they both do over one another as well), and then he chose not to tell Sheva anything.

^He looked at Jill’s image, as if she were his lover. This isn’t some OOC fanfic, this is what’s been stated and shown on screen.

He questioned the value of all of his efforts, and for him to figure out if it was worth it, EVERYTHING depended on HER survival. His will to keep fighting, his next steps in the BSAA, and this war on Bioterrorism, all hinged upon Jill’s survival.

That pause in his statement says it all—Chris could not move forward without finding the missing piece of his heart. This is no different than how in the film, Chris was willing to look for Jill on his own. “I’ll find Jill.”

There are some who I have seen state they think Chris doesn’t, or wouldn’t want Jill on the field, out of fear of losing her, and honestly, I never got that impression, even from the trailer. With Claire, even with her skills, Chris has told her at times, for her to leave, or stay somewhere else, while he attempted to handle something. With Jill, he prefers to have her around, he doesn’t want to be separated. Even with the risk of BOTH of them dying. He’d rather die fighting beside her/for her. It goes both ways.

“Excuse me.”

 “He’s all yours!”

Chris casually coming in, fighting beside her like the good old days. This is THEIR kind of fun on the field. This is like “old times” for them. You legit can see Jill’s amusement. This is what she needed from him. This helps her feel more like herself. These kind of moments make her feel alive! Even when his sister is around, he wants to be by Jill’s side. 

This shows a man who wants someone close to him, to take a piece of the action (literally she runs like she was just gifted a box of toys to play with), a man who does what his other half needs him to, and a man who supports her, and does not want to let her face what’s ahead of her alone. 

^You can even see him grab the prison cell bars, watching her, when Dylan attempts to test her, by trying to get her to kill Claire. He understands what this could be doing to her mentally, as this is TORTURE for Jill. I see it as him silently showing his support for her.

They are a battle couple that can be casual on and off the field. Their casual interactions help keep the edge off, and it’s familiar ground for them. It’s part of their consistent dynamic.

This is the face of an infected Chris, comforted by the fact Jill was still out there, which gave them all a chance. That said I want to highlight some things from the Umbrella Chronicles novels.

Now aside from these two joking around, like about Chris cursing around her, and calling Jill “sweetheart” etc., there came a point during their raid on UB’s Russia based lab, where Jill started to think about her past, and opened up to Chris about what made her who she IS. Why she does what she does. Honestly, it’s one of the most intimate conversations in the entire franchise.

Jill thought about a time from her childhood, where she was still so naïve about some of the grim realities of the world. She was injured, and while Chris was tending to her wounds, Jill talked about an incident with a little boy that was beaten and killed by his father. All of this happened in a small town. This changed everything for her. Chris wondered if she perhaps wished she hadn’t been born, and Jill was like NO WAY! She’s GRATEFUL to be alive. Chris worried about how PALE she looks…sound familiar?    

EVEN IN THIS MOMENT, Chris is expressing how relieved he was to see she’s alright! In this novel, he’s looking at her bravely put on a smile, telling him:

“Chris was under the impression that she had been doing this all her life.” That is so powerful.

^Again...they are so consistently portrayed.

Jill is very head-strong, and she won’t stop doing what she’s doing to try and make the world safer. She can’t afford to sit around and do nothing, and that comes at a cost. After defeating TALOS, they had another moment, but I’m gonna save that for a bit. However, I’ve referenced this part of the story before, but look at Jill’s conversation with Chris about a life she wondered if she could ever have:

You see Chris was continuing to support Jill, even with his own injuries. It didn’t bother him (just like when he allowed her to rest on his shoulder in RE1 – that’s consistency!!!). They allude to what would end up happening in RE5, with them pursuing Spencer. Chris suggested the soldier seemed to like Jill, and she jokingly said maybe she should marry him. Chris is like, “Really? This guy?” Jill then begins to open up to him again. She expressed the idea of her getting married, building a family, growing old and watching over her grandchildren, and asked Chris if he thought she could lead such a life (a much simpler life away from all of this fighting). Chris, being his usual self with her, assured her, that she COULD have all of those things, but it depended on having the right “partner” (a term especially associated with them, that also has multiple meanings). Then he looked at her and winked. It says that this seemed like a new behavior to Jill. Somehow…that behavior caught her off guard.

One could interpret it in other ways, I suppose, but that’s a pretty heavy-handed hint that Chris is telling Jill, with no words, he would want those same things with her. Even with all the death around them, and their fight not truly being over, it was something worth fighting for, especially with the right person. Both of them have gone through it for each other. They are WORTH everything to each other. They don’t have to say it, because their ACTIONS tell their story. He’s telling her HE is there for her. He wants her to be happy, and he’s happy with her. When she’s down, or not in her best state, he is down. 

One thing that always sticks out to me about them though, is how they END their stories. EVERY single joint appearance they’ve had, they are comforted by each other’s presence and have a moment. In RE1, Chris and Jill always choose to sit side by side. He allows Jill to rest on him. In their paired ending, originally, Jill would reach out for Chris to hold her hand, and then she observes him for a moment. They are both trying to take in what just happened, but they find comfort in each other. No words needed to be spoken. In the remake, he admires her ability to sleep and is comforted by her presence. They literally have no PEACE, if the other is not around and ok.

In endings leading up to RE5, Chris catches Jill observing the sky, deep in thought. He tries to comfort Jill, by highlighting their “accomplishments,” even though Jill is still thinking about the storms to come, because their efforts weren’t enough (i.e Wesker still being a threat), or come at a high cost (such as the presumed death of Parker). Even when he talks about other accomplishments, such as in this film, or killing Wesker, he looks back at Jill, and there’s this unspoken satisfaction, in seeing HER able to smile and have some peace. His stare LINGERS on her both times. In RE5, she’s happy and relieved Wesker’s dead. That brings him joy. One of their nightmares is over. He just keeps looking at her, even before his final thoughts are expressed.

There’s a reason why his closing statement in RE5, is stated when HE is staring at Jill. He doesn’t say her name. Just like he didn’t say it in the opening segments of RE5. We found OUT his “personal stake” was Jill. He was willing to throw his life away for her, above all else! He could not let go of her. Chris looked at Jill MULTIPLE times in that scene. He looked at Jill when he thought about the WORTH of his efforts (He’s not looking at Sheva…SHEVA is looking at THEM looking at each other), and after Jill stares back at him, he looks away with a grin. To have this moment, after all of that time apart, the hell both of them endured, a simple moment such as this, was worth it all. Fighting for THAT “future” they both strive for (one without fear). The way I see it, the UC novel, in a way, was suggesting that that life Jill would LIKE to have, is something being SACRIFICED for the greater good. FEAR, made her question if it was at all possible.

The way they get so stuck on each other (and it’s hilarious how some fans claim Jill harbors a crush on HIM and Chris is just married to his work… :P), shows DEVOTION exists between the two of them. I mentioned I was saving a moment from the UC novel, and here it is:

The take away I get from this exchange, is simply how comfortable they are with each other. Even with all of the suffering they endure, they are each other’s comfort zone. All of that, and Jill jokes about divorcing him if they were on a honeymoon. Chris says not to worry, as they’d be spared of such monsters. Project X Zone does something similar.

Not only do you have them doing the “Don’t worry” thing again, you have BOTH assuring the other, that they would always be there for each other (and they say it confidently).

You also have Jill “threaten” to call off their engagement partnership, if he dares start to emit fire and electricity from his hands!

Again with the consistency!

There’s even a non-canon RE1 prequel story, Biohazard: The Beginning, where Chris is getting grilled by Jill for withholding information (she doesn’t play about justice/getting to the truth!). Chris in various versions of the story, alludes to some feelings he has about her/her character, he tries to get her to stop interrogating him by suggesting she wants to go out with him, he pays attention to what is bothering her, they joke around, and he finds comfort in her presence.

Again, there is just so much consistency in the way their relationship is written all over!

All in all, I love what Chris and Jill’s relationship is, and what it brings out of both characters. I don’t care if others don’t like it, or don’t see it for what it’s been said to be about. I appreciate all it represents. The film gave me more of what I expected. The film did not do any damage to their relationship, as some tried to suggest to others in the fandom, and they damn sure had plenty of chemistry. They put smiles on each other’s faces! Some people even got worked up over Jill FINALLY interacting with other characters...smdh. Like, it’s about damn time she did! Still, in regards to them, it was just classic Chris/Jill. No labels needed to be placed on what their relationship is, it’s still as solid as ever.

Along with that, I also wanted to show a bit of how Jill has not changed, contrary to what some seem to think. She’s still the same chic she was in RE1, but with more experiences behind her. She’s actually very consistent. 

I know this was a VERY long post, but if anyone enjoyed it and/or learned something from it, I’m glad.

[dragon-creates]

I started this short bowuigi little mermaid au thing a few days ago as a little something to help me feel better cause my depression was basically being like ‘hey, wanna feel ten times worse than usual?’ It was to be a short little thing to self-indulge with, YET IT SOMEHOW IS OVER 5K WORDS, FUCKING HOW?!?!?!?!? Anyways, enjoy. (Edit, to the person who pointed out that Junior said Luigi's name before Bowser finds out, you're a real one and I just fixed it thanks xx).

In the surface land, Bowser is trying to get Princess Peach to marry him because he sees her as the ‘perfect bride’ for him to be happy but she’s not having it.

“Isn’t she lovely Kamek, her golden hair, the way she glides when she moves. Plus, she would be a perfect mother for Junior!”

“Sire, she threw a shoe at your head the last time you proposed to her.”

“…and?”

“Seriously Papa?”

Yeah, Kamek and Junior are starting to get sick of it.

Meanwhile, in the ocean, Mario and Luigi’s parents rule the seven seas. While Mario is more adventurous and outgoing, Luigi is more content to stay under the sea (you’re allowed to hate me for that terrible pun).

See, unlike Ariel, Luigi is deathly afraid of the surface land as he’s heard about all about the terrifying Bowser and what he’s willing to do to get what he wants to he wants to stay as far as possible from there.

“There’s nothing to be scared of Luigi, I’d be able to keep you safe if we were ever near the surface.”

“N-no way! W-what if B-Bowser’s there a-an-d-d gets mad a-at us f-or t-t-t-trespassing! I-I’ll be fine here with Ma and Pa.”

(Luigi also has long hair cause I’m a sucker for long-haired Luigi.)

Que King Boo, a ghostly underwater sea monster who wants to take over both the land and sea but isn’t powerful enough to do so. He knows that Luigi means a lot to his family, so he decides to pull a devious trick to distract them from their duties so he can take over the throne.

“Well, well, well, despite how much of a cowardly shrimp he is, this little prince could be of use to me.”

He uses Polterpup (a ghost sea-lion pup that is able to turn into a dog if he goes to the surface land) to distract Luigi, making him think that a dog had fallen into the sea and needs help. Luigi follows the sound of the distressed barking, hoping to help the innocent animal when suddenly, he’s captured by Boo’s minions and with the limited power that he has, he uses it to turn Luigi into a human to make him unable to return home. That way, while Luigi’s family will be looking for their son, he can try and take over the underwater kingdom and use that power to take over the surface land. Just to make sure that Luigi doesn’t tell anyone, King Boo steals Luigi’s voice and sends him to the edge of the Darklands.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Try going home and telling your mommy and daddy about this one princey! Oh wait, you can’t!”

However, since King Boo’s powers are still weak there is a way that the spell can be reserved so he purposely neglects to tell Luigi that the spell can be broken with true love’s kiss.

Luigi is distraught and terrified, already afraid of the surface land and is now forced to live there with no way of being able to ask for help.

Feeling guilty, Polterpup decides to help Luigi get used to his human legs and brings him a rag from a ship to help make into some makeshift clothes.

Meanwhile, Bowser and Junior are minding their own business at the shore of the Darklands when suddenly, Junior sees an unfamiliar human struggling to stand on his own two feet.

“Look Dad! There’s a human, like Peach!”

He gets a bit over excited and runs from his dad to go see Luigi.

Luigi, still frightened and wary of surface creatures (and the fact that this is Bowser’s son! So, if the king sees him with Junior, he could burn him to a crisp!) he gets spooked easily by the child and fumbles his way onto a rock. Polterpup stands in front of Luigi to create some distance with the overzealous child. Eventually, Bowser makes his way over to see what all the fuss is about.

“Junior, what have I told you about running off?!”

“But look Papa, it’s another human! I’ve never seen another human before apart from Peach!”

Bowser suddenly notices Luigi, who ducks behind Polterpup, trying to hide as much of himself as he can.

Bowser is taken aback, like Junior, Peach is the only human he’s seen so he’s never had the chance to formally get to know another one. He sees that the human is a bit skittish, so he tries to be as unintimidating as possible.

“Uh, hey there, sorry about Junior, he has the tendency to get overexcited sometimes.”

“Hey!”

Luigi is still unsure; he’s only ever heard tales about how the king of the koopas was able to be rid of his enemies just with one swipe of his claw. So, seeing him up close makes him want to piss himself.

Bowser can see that the human is still nervous, though he’s a little bit offended, he can’t really blame the human for being scared.

“Did you, uh, get in a shipwreck? Cause I can see that the only thing you’re dressed in is a sail.”

Luigi finally peaks his head out and nods a little bit, wondering why the koopa hasn’t done anything to him yet. Junior is suddenly asking him a lot of questions.

“Woah, you got in a shipwreck?! That’s so cool! Was there tons of thunder and lightning?! Did your ship light on fire?! Your dog is so cool! Is he a ghost?!”

Startled again, Luigi nearly falls off the rock until Bowser catches him. Luigi suddenly starts trembling both from fear and the cold. The king notices this and tries to ask him if he’s alright to try and loosen the tension, but the human is silent.

“What’s wrong? Can’t talk or something?”

He says that sarcastically and laughs a little to try and make the human do so as well, but he takes one look in the human’s eyes and realises that he actually can’t.

“Oh, I see.”

Luigi is hugging himself at this point, wanting to run and hide but he was getting colder and colder by the minute. Bowser then decides to take the human back to the castle to get him warmed up and a little bit less scared.

“Don’t worry, Kamek and Kammy will know how to help you. You’ll be feeling better soon.”

That gets Luigi to look up at the king with curiosity as Bowser carries him back to the castle with Junior and Polterpup by his side. The great ferocious king was holding him ever so gently and promising to help him, he doesn’t know how to feel at this point.

As soon as Kamek and Kammy see Luigi shivering and drenched, they are instantly ‘grandparents mode activated. They take Luigi from Bowser and lead the human into bathroom, (Bowser totally didn’t want to carry him there) Kamek makes him tea and gives Luigi a few biscuits while Kammy is drawing a warm bubble bath for him.

“Here you are now, its not much but it will help fill and warm you up a little bit.”

Luigi has never tasted land food before; he finds it to be quite nice. He even enjoys the bath, letting the water heat him up and blowing on the bubbles. Kammy finds the site adorable.

“The poor thing, washing up from a shipwreck must’ve been so terrifying for you, especially if you heard about the reputation of the Darklands. Don’t worry, we just want to help you feel better and feel comfortable here.”

Kamek comes into the room holding a few dresses and suits, asking the human which one he’d like to wear for dinner. Although Luigi didn’t need to wear clothes as a mermaid, he does know that land creatures wear them all the time. He instantly chooses one of the dresses (because gender norms don’t exist, and Luigi is allowed to wear whatever the fuck he wants!)

Later, Kammy is helping Luigi get changed while Kamek, Junior and Bowser are in the dining room talking about Peach again.

“All I’m saying sire is that it might be due time to stop pursuing the princess. She had already disagreed to your other proposals, and I don’t see her agreeing any time soon.”

“I can’t just give up on her Kamek, Peach makes me feel things that I’ve never felt for anyone. I will marry her, one day.”

As if right on time, Kammy and Luigi are there, the former ushering in the shy man.

“Don’t be so nervous darling, you look lovely!”

Luigi then steps into the room, wearing a beautiful green dress (a green version of Ariel’s pink dress) with Polterpup by his side to keep him company.

Bowser is starstruck, he’s never seen a human look this beautiful before.

“Y-you look amazing.”

Luigi blushes, still nervous but the compliment gives him butterflies.

“Come sit next to me human!”

Junior takes his hand and leads him next to his seat, which happens to also be next to Bowser’s at the head of the table. To try and take his mind off the fact that he’s sitting next to Bowser, Luigi starts focusing on the plates and cutlery, he’s never really seen that many human artefacts before so it’s all so intriguing to him (expect when Mario brings back some from his adventures, but he doesn’t really know what they are either.)

Bowser becomes amused at Luigi’s curiosity for the simple objects he had, his appreciation for things that seem to be mundane gives him a swell of pride.

“I guess my silverware is kinda nice, isn’t it?”

Luigi immediately puts the fork don’t and hides under his hair, afraid that he might have disrespected the king, but Bowser is quick to reassure him that he doesn’t mind.

“It’s just that no one else I know is fascinated by these types of things, so its nice to see someone that it.”

Luigi peers out from his hair, a small smile forming from the king’s praise. Kamek picks up on the tension and decides to do some *matchmaking*.

 “Since our guest will be staying for a while, perhaps we should help him feel more comfortable with a tour of the kingdom…Bowser?”

“Papa, are you listening?”

Bowser breaks out of his trance, not even realising he was staring at the human. He couldn’t help it; he’s not seen that many and this one was just so fascinating.

“Ah, yes, a tour sounds great! If you would like one?”

Luigi thinks for a bit and nods. If he was wrong about the king, then maybe he was wrong about the kingdom and surface land and should give it a chance.

Kamek nods at that, pleased with his work. Kammy shoots him a thumbs up for his work.

Later, while Luigi is getting ready for bed, he watches Bowser with Junior as they play in the courtyard. Bowser notices him watching and waves at him. Embarrassed that he was caught, Luigi shyly waves back and backs away from the balcony. He’s wearing a cotton nightgown that Kammy had given him, as well as a glass of water from Kamek in case he gets thirsty during the night. This is also his first time laying in a bed, he’s never felt anything so soft in his life! He falls asleep as soon as he puts his head on the pillow, feeling a bit more hopeful after today.

Back in the ocean, Mario and his family are frantically searching for his brother, terrified that something bad happened to him. He decides to go to the surface land, specifically from the Mushroom Kingdom, and ask their princess for help and if he’s washed up there. It also helps that he’s heard so much about her kindness and beauty and…wake up Mario, focus on the mission at hand.

Back on the surface lands, Bowser takes Luigi on a tour of his kingdom, Polterpup by his feet through the all thing. At first, Luigi is still a bit unsure about the koopas, but soon he becomes a bit more curious. He goes up to some of the food stand giving away free sample and decides to try a little bit of fruit, it’s a bit tangy but still pretty good. He even sees a puppet show for the first time, not knowing how the little puppets are moving, he pulls one of a koopa’s hand, fascinated with how it works. A few koopa children then come up to him and ask to do his hair, having never seen another human before with his like his. He agrees and let the children tie up his hair in a French braid along with a few faux white flowers to go with the new dress he’s wearing. Bowser is watching from afar, his jaw dropping when Luigi’s hairstyle is revealed, his heart skipping a beat when Luigi does a twirl.

“Wow, you…you look beautiful greenie.”

Luigi blushes at the compliment.

The two suddenly hear music and see a few performers starting to play on their instruments as koopas, goombas and shy guys join in. Bowser takes Luigi’s hand and asks him to dance, the man nods his head, feeling a bit more at ease with the king now.

Soon the two join the crowd, laughing and having the time of their lives as they dance away to the music, Polterpup occasionally runs through some of the koopas legs.

When it ends, Bowser guides Luigi to a hidden river, the only place with water in the Darklands (apart from the shore). They share a little boat ride together as they share some of the food they bought at the market, while Polterpup takes a nap. Bowser then remembers that despite the time they shared together, he still doesn’t even know Luigi’s name.

“I feel terrible not knowing your name, and we don’t have anything that you can write with…Oh I know, how about I go down the alphabet and you pick out the letters of your name?”

Luigi nods and though it takes a while, the king manages to spell out his name.

“Luigi huh? A beautiful name for a beautiful human.”

Its Luigi’s turn for his heart to skip a beat. All his life he’d heard about the koopa kingdom and their dreaded king, now it turns out that he’s actually a gentleman who’s been showing him nothing but respect. Ever since this man washed up at his kingdom, Bowser has been feeling things that he’s never felt for anyone. Flustered, vulnerable and a need to protect and love. He’s never even felt this for Peach. The two start to lean in when their boat suddenly tips over, the two falling out. Bowser is quick to pick up Luigi, who begins to wring out his dress while Polterpup begins to shake his non-existent coat. As Bowser carries Luigi back as Polterpup floats beside them, the two fail to see two boos that were the ones who knocked over their boat.

Back in his lair, King Boo is seething!

“That blasted little shrimp! At this rate, these two will end up snogging all over the place and my plans will be ruined!”

He decides to go to his last resort, a mind control crown that he had hoped to use on one of the rulers to conquer the sea and surface, however this crown also held many of his other spells (including Luigi’s) and he wasn’t strong enough to use it more than once to use a spell as powerful as mind control. It was always extremely fragile, though he would still have some power, if it broke then all of his previous spells from over the years would be released, so he held it off for as long as he could, and it seems that now he has no other choice.

Meanwhile, Mario has finally arrived at the Mushroom Kingdom, hoping to find help with the princess. She’s just as beautiful in the rumours he’s heard about her. The princess is shocked to find an adorable red merman in a river near her palace, but she can’t deny his plea for help when he looked just so sweet.

“My brother, he’s gone missing! Is there any chance he’s been around here lately?”

“I’m sorry, you’re the only mer-person we’ve seen here. But don’t worry, we’ll keep a look out and help you find him!”

“Really?! Thank you, princess!”

“Y-you’re welcome.”

Back at the Darklands, Bowser is thinking about his new feelings for Luigi, not knowing if he should act on them since he didn’t want to betray his love for Peach. Kamek, fed up at this point, goes up to give Bowser his thoughts on the matter.

“If I may say sire, some people spend most of their time chasing after treasure on a map that leads them in circles, that they neglect that the diamond in the rough is right in front of them. Just a thought from a silly old koopa.”

As Kamek leaves, Bowser ponders over his surrogate father’s words. For years he’s yearned for Peach so the point that he became blinded by what he thought he wanted and put her on a pedestal. Now, there’s someone that doesn’t see him as a monster and might love him back. He makes his decision and starts to go to Luigi to tell him how he feels when he suddenly feels a weight on his head, and everything goes dark.

The next morning, Luigi wakes up feeling more refreshed and happier than he has since he first turned human. He’s been thinking all night about the maybe-kiss that he and Bowser were about to share and had been contemplating his feelings on the matter. He soon found himself realising that he would mind kissing Bowser, in fact, he would really like to kiss him and spend every day with him, Junior, Kammy and Kamek. Besides, there was nothing stopping him from travelling to see his brother and family, maybe it could all work out? He fell asleep last night with a smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach.

He’s about to run down the stairs to meet Bowser when he hides behind a pillar when he sees the king speaking with Kamek, wearing a strange crown.  

“Y-your highness, are you sure this is the best idea?”

“Peach castle is currently unprotected; it would be a good opportunity to strike and take her as my bride.”

“I see that, but after the last few days and our past with the Mushroom Kingdom, shouldn’t we think this through a little bit and-”

“-It has always been my intention to make Peach mine, no matter what and I won’t let anyone get in my way. Especially some scrawny human who washed up at my sure. Once the invasion is complete, the wedding will start immediately.”

“…very well sire.”

Luigi, heartbroken and betrayed, flees to his room, not knowing that King Boo was there the whole having used his ghostly-ness to remain invisible while controlling Bowser with the crown.

As Bowser takes off with his army and airship, Luigi stays behind at the port to cry as Polterpup tries to comfort him, having to face the truth that he was right in the first place, Bowser was just a heartless monster.

Junior is on the airship per his father’s orders to be at the wedding. He searches for his dad, wondering why he had the sudden change of heart about Luigi and his invasion. He creaks open the door to his father’s room when he sees King Boo in Bowser’s mirror, cackling to himself at the fact that his plans are nearly complete.

Realising his dad is being mind controlled by the strange ghost thing, he makes his way down to the clown cars and sneaks away in his own small one to get to Luigi as quickly as possible.

The Mushroom Kingdom is taken aback when Bowser suddenly arrives, not fully prepared for battle since he would usually leave some type of indication that he was coming, but here, he was just blasting through with every intention of not leaving until he gets what he wants. Mario wants to help but Peach tells him to stay hidden. Unable to just do nothing, Mario rushed as fast as he can to get back home to get his father.

As soon as Peach sees Bowser, there’s something different about his atmosphere, something way more menacing and demanding. As usual, he wants Peach to marry him, but this time he doesn’t ask.

“One way or another, you will marry me Peach and we’ll watch your kingdom turn to ash.”

“You’re not even going to bargain.”

“It’s not like you can do anything about it.”

A pit forms in Peach’s stomach, something’s wrong, very wrong.

Junior makes it back to, running to the sobbing man as fast as he can.

“Luigi! Luigi! There’s some weird ghost thing that was in my dad’s mirror! I think that’s why he’s attacking the Mushroom Kingdom so soon! What do we do?!”

Luigi’s eyes widen in horror. King Boo! He had to be behind all this. Without any second thoughts, Luigi climbs in Junior’s clown car, along with Polterpup, and the two head to the Mushroom Kingdom as fast as they can.

While Bowser/Boo is adamant about the wedding, the koopas there are a little less comfortable about it due to how strange and intimidating the king was acting. As the service starts, Peach pulls out an ice flower from her bouquet and attacks Bowser, she lands a few hits, but Bowser uses his fire to melt the ice. Peach keeps trying to fight though, at least to distract him while she thinks of a plan. The koopas also help, agreeing that their King was not himself and didn’t want anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom getting severely injured.

Luigi finally arrives with Junior, jumps out of the vehicle and lands on Bowser’s shoulders while he’s fighting Peach. Seeing a crown that wasn’t on Bowser’s head before, Luigi grabs it and smashes it to the ground, falling off Bowser’s shoulder from the impact of the throw.

Suddenly, Bowser sees himself at the Mushroom Kingdom, not knowing how he got there since the last place he remembered being was back home. Princess Peach and the koopas stop, sensing that Bowser’s atmosphere was back to normal as he looks towards Luigi.

“Luigi, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…wait…I can talk!”

“You can finally speak again!”

“My voice its back!”

“I don’t understand, what’s happening?”

“It’s King Boo, he-aahhh!”

Before he can get another word out, there’s a sharp pain in his legs. He fells his bones bending and breaking in the most painful way and King Boo suddenly appears, turning him back into a merman before he can get another word out. Luigi looks to Bowser, afraid of what he’ll think of the man once he realises what he really is. But Bowser is too wrapped up in shock of what its happening and worry for the man that he loves.

King Boo grabs Luigi and drags him back into the ocean, the latter screaming for Bowser as the koopa tries to grab him as Luigi is forced back into the water, Polterpup chasing after his new owner. The king turns to Princess Peach.

“Princess, I know this may be confusing, but I really need your help, please, I love him!”

“Don’t worry, I think I might know his brother and what’s going on.”

Back in the ocean, Luigi is struggling against King Boo, trying to escape his grasp but somehow, the ghost’s grip is tighter than he though. Polterpup tries to fight his old master but a few Boos that had been hiding easily grab him.

“Oh, don’t worry little shrimp, it ain’t you that I’m after.”

“KING BOO THAT IS ENOUGH!”

The pair stop when they see Luigi’s father, the King of the ocean along with Mario stop them in their path.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the red prince and the ruler of the seven seas.”

“Let my brother go!”

“No can do princey, precious little Lulu is all mine until you give me what I want.”

Luigi’s father growls at that.

“My son does not belong to you!”

He goes to use his magical trident, but a few boos grab Luigi and use some type of electricity on him, making the youngest prince scream out in pain.

“You see, the thing is your majesty, one wrong move and your precious little boy won’t be, how do I put this? Part of your world anymore.” (I am so sorry for that awful pun.)

The sea king was at a loss, he knew he would be putting everyone at risk by handing the trident and the throne to this made ghost but…he couldn’t lose his youngest son, from the corner of his eye, he could see Mario agree. He hands the trident over to King Boo, begging him not to hurt his son. With a mad gleam in his eye, he grabs the trident and lets Luigi go. To the green merman’s horror, the poltergeist points the artifact to his father and brother, watching in devastation as he turns them into dust.

With a strangled scream, he goes to attack King Boo, though surprised at Luigi’s reaction, manages to throw him to the ground. He’s about to use the trident on him when he suddenly feels something hit him. He looks up to see Bowser under the water, who had thrown a spear at him and raises the trident to him. In a moment of panic, Luigi grabs King Boo, making him point the trident at his boos instead and disintegrates them. Not wanting to witness King Boo’s anger, Luigi swims up to Bowser and guides him above the water, not witnessing the Boo’s fury with his new powers below him.

The koopa and merman reach the surface of the water, Bowser trying to reach out to Luigi.

“Bowser you have to go, now! Before King Boo gets you!”

“No, I’m not leaving you behind again!”

They feel a rumbling all around them. Suddenly, King Boo rises from the sea as a giant with the two on his head, cackling like a mad man. Bowser and Luigi jump back into the water, trying to escape until King Boo starts to form a whirlpool, separating them. Luigi falls into the whirlpool, landing at the bottom as Polterpup rushes over to him as King Boo taunts him.

Bowser is still paddling in the water, trying to get to Luigi when a ship comes up beside it. Inside was Princess Peach, some toads, koopas and Kamek. They throw a rope down to Bowser and help him up. Kamek looks to the king.

“I used my magic to help steer that boat but I’m barely holding on! I need you to guide the bowsprit and drive it into that mad boo!”

“But’s a ghost, he’s already dead!”

“I’ve managed to enchant so that I can trap him in this!”

Kamek holds up a pale purple gem, sparkling with some type of magic that the magikoopa used. Princess Peach then speaks up.

“I’m managing the sails while the toads and koopas are defending us! Bowser, are you able to guide the ship!”

“You can count on me Princess, take this as the beginning of a massive apology to you!”

Peach nods and everyone gets to work. King Boo is shooting at Luigi in the whirlpool, the merman trying to dodge as much as he can but knows that he is not strong enough to do anything. Enraged by what the Boo is doing to his love, Bowser drives the bowsprit into King Boo. The poltergeist screams with both pain and fear, knowing that if he can feel that then somehow, he has been defeated.

The seas calm down as the boo disappears into the gem. Bowser tries to look for Luigi, but the whirlpool is gone, and the merman is nowhere in sight. Kamek keeps him from jumping out as the princess guides the ship back to shore.

In the ocean, Luigi grabs the trident and rushes back over to where his father and brother were with Polterpup following him and sees the two have been returned to normal. Overjoyed, he hugs them both, all three of them crying now that Luigi is safe and home.

“I missed you so much Lu. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you went missing.”

“It’s okay Mario, I’m safe now, It’s okay.”

He gives the trident back to his father and the three mermen return home.

A few days later, Luigi is hiding behind a rock, Polterpup beside him as he watches Bowser from the shore of the Darklands, pining to see the merman again. Mario and his father watch from afar.

“You know, a while ago, Luigi would have fainted at the thought of going to the Darklands. Now, seeing how he looks at that koopa king, he’s gotten more braver than I ever imagined.”

“Peach told me that he jumped on Bowser’s shoulder’s just to get the crown off him.”

“Oh yes, how are you and that princess getting along?”

“Ah-I-wha-Dad!”

“I’m just teasing. Though, he hasn’t been truly himself since he came home.”

“I guess he left a part of himself since leaving the Darklands. After all, when you love someone, you give a piece of yourself to them, and in return, they grant you something even more freeing.”

“Then I guess there’s only one problem left.”

“And what’s that Dad?”

“…How much I’m going to miss him.” Mario raises an eyebrow in confusion for a moment before his father points his trident at Luigi.

Luigi feels a tingling sensation on his fins, looking down to see that there are no fins at all, his legs had returned! He turns to his father and brother, his smile beaming as the two nod to him.

Bowser is staring off into the distance, thinking about Luigi when he sees brown hair peeking out of the water. His heart stops when he sees Luigi emerging from the water in a sparkling green dress and his hair flowing in the wind. Bowser runs to him, picking him up and spinning him around in his arms and holds him as the two finally share a kiss.

A year later, the two are finally married on a giant ship, Luigi wearing a poofy wedding dress while Bowser is dressed in his finest suit. Luigi’s family and kingdom are watching from the ocean while toads and koopa finally come together as one. Princess Peach hugs Luigi, glad to have another human companion and blows a kiss to Mario in the ocean, who blushes at the gesture and waves back. Junior is also glad Luigi is back and is going to be his stepdad. He and Polterpup have also become close friends, the two playing together when they can. Kamek and Kammy are finally happy that Bowser has found love after all this time.

Mario asks his father to use to powers to lift him with the water to see his brother one more time. Luigi smiles softly and gives his brother a hug.

“Don’t cry big bro, I’ll see you after the honeymoon, you’re acting as if I’ll never see you again.”

“I’m sorry, its just, I’m so happy for you.”

“I love you, Mario.”

“I love you too Lu.”

He gives Bowser a menacing glare along the lines of ‘hurt my bro and I’ll end you’ before Peach comes over and kisses him on the cheek, making the red merman faint into the ocean. Luigi laughs at his brother’s antics as he waves goodbye to all the other mer-folk as the ship sails away to its next destination.

Bowser and Luigi give one another a soft look and share one more kiss.

The end.

You're allowed to yell at me for the shitty puns.

(Edit: also I love that you guys enjoyed it and you’re free to write something for this as it was only meant to be a drabble after having a bad day. As long as you credit and tag me, y’all can use this idea and write your own Bowuigi little mermaid fic ☺️)

[orkbutch]

So I've been seeing A Viewpoint within the bg3 fandom occuring. And I gotta be honest. I disagree that the characters being bisexual in Baldur's Gate 3 means you cannot headcanon them as other sexualities for your own fandom content purposes. I think that's not reflective of how queer people and their sexual identities actually work, and its just antithetical to how fandom has always functioned, which is an exercise of imagination. I wanna clarify up front: I agree that someone saying that a character Can't or Shouldn't or Was Not Meant To Be bisexual because of whatever reason IS biphobic sentiment. The characters in Baldur's Gate 3 are canonically bi/pan, thats made pretty damn clear when you look through all their content. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about headcanons, au's; the kind of imaginitve play that is very much what fandom creativity is about. If you set a standard in fandom that depicting a character as a certain sexuality is Not Allowed, 1. you're kinda flattening sexuality in a weird way, like personally my sexuality is complicated as fuck and has changed over time, and 2. you're limiting creativity. And I think creativity in fandom is extremely important. It's the whole fun of fandom. Creativity is worth protecting and its worth establishing the nuance between Depicting A Version of Character who is X and Insisting That Character Should Be X in canon. Because like... we meddle with character's identities in fandom all the time. That's what headcanons ARE, they change appearance, social position, career, faith, species, traumatic experience, moral and political alignment, and SO much more. I think limiting what people can headcanon within fandom... is less fun! It's just less fun. Imaginative scope lets you do more, weird fun stuff. It lets you depict more complex interesting characters. Example: my Bad Nun AU. In that, Shadowheart identifies as a lesbian. Why is that? Because I wanted Shadowheart's experience within Bad Nun to specifically explore the history and context of lesbians within nunneries, especially how that manifested post Vatican II. These were also eras when 'lesbian' was more ubiquitos, had a different context and more flexibility; a lot of women that would probably consider themselves 'bisexual' now were identifying as lesbians, were in lesbian communities and events and spaces.

On that note: Flattening sexuality. You're gonna say people CANNOT depict these characters as ANYTHING but bisexual? That is not how most queer people's sexualities work. It simply isn't. I've identified as tons of different shit in my sexuality. I'm still not sure about it. For me half the time my "sexual identity" is just the words I use to communicate what I'm looking for, and that changes depends on What I Want at that time, what I'm looking to explore, my social context, ect. ect. like what. This isn't how sexuality works for real people. How are artists meant to be Creative and imaginatively depict real, complex, queer sexuality if they are restricted to depicting only what is within canon?? This is not how any other part of fandom works. Fandom art should work how all art works. If someone makes shit art, it gets dunked on and ignored for being bad or lazy or lame. If someone did Heterosexual Karlach fanfic, I would be like "what the fuck why" because they made Karlach less fucking cool. Het Karlach would be boring and thats More Egregious because they DECIDED to make her heterosexual DESPITE canon. But even then, EVEN THEN, I don't think that should be looked at as off limits shit, because I don't believe art should have many things off limits. Any limits must be very nuanced, because art and creativity is nuanced. Obviously my brain would go "het karlach? you deserve jail time and thats queerphobic", but I honestly believe creative license is more important than those feelings. I WOULD happily comment on their thing, "heterosexual karlach is boring, thats a shit idea" because I'm right

If you want good art and good writing, you need to protext creative license.