#but also barely anything LMAO
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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the scarf is coming along and soon I'll have to get used to wearing *gasp* actual colors that aren't black or grey or so dark they could be mistaken for black when it's dark out
#still not sure abt the colors#I kinda took whatever yarns felt comfy&homey to me#which might be why it matches my apartment decor a bit too much lmao going out dressed like my apartment sure okay that works#it's also giving ''scarecrow'' to me for some reason (tho.. I could be madder abt it like scarecrow could be a look)#anyways the joy of doing things urself is that u can choose whatever colors and just sorta see how it goes#like idk if it's colorblind combo but I think I'm definitely gonna be wearing it#(my main point wasn't to make something actually super good and great; just to have something to do and practice my knitting which like#I made a hat like 9 years ago and have barely done anything since (aside from like 4 random squares when I once thought I'd knit a blanket#but like dude?? a blanket as the second thing u've ever knitted?? that was too ambitious. So hence a scarf; a small blanket))#aesthetic#I truly dont know any arts&crafts tags#studyblr#booklr#bookblr#december 2024#2024
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People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).
Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.
#and I'm defining active as in like consciously taking actions to help Jimmy cover his tracks and stuff like that#because I know being passive can be seen as the same thing as actively participating in the abuse (which i agree with)#I just mean I don't think he's actually intending to help Jimmy by doing anything for him like taking Anya's ID away with nefarious purpose#I just didn't get that vibe#again I just thought he sucked lol like he just does nothing#so idk I just don't vibe when people make him too into helping Jimmy if that makes sense? I think it destroys the grayness of his character#they will never make me have a strong opinion of you Curly#but he is fine as hell ok lol I am not immune to buff blonde man#also like I hope this doesn't come off as mean to the person I'm referencing with the ID take if they see it#I just was thinking about their interpretation and was like ehhh i don't know if i agree and wanted to respond on my lil side account ;p#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#ok and I could see people saying he actively covers for him by doing the psych eval for him and being like uhhhh good enough lmao#but to me that's him trying to placate any issues between crewmembers on his ship esp. when it comes to Jimmy#which just falls under the bystander thing because he'll do the bare minimum to keep things peaceful#but when it comes to doing anything he's just like whelp idk what I can do and just stands there#he's so cool#ok also I realize they need the ax for the foam I just forgot about that lmao#i was a little tipsy when I wrote this plz forgive hahaha I just meant like an ax isn’t like normally in a mechanic’s tool kit lmao#adding a link to the Twitter post I mention so people can refer back to it if they’d like
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Here are some sketches I drew of Phantasmagoria Corrupted Burning Spice (Change) and Mystic Flour (Volition) :D
Just a fun lil thing while I debate to myself over whether to focus on the world-building or the story. Also Change as a cowboy..just for fun :')
#fyp#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#crk#cr kingdom#vanillaverse#phantasmagoria crk#burning spice cookie#mystic flour cookie#fun fact: I think Burning Spice will be based on Shiva and Vishmu#My next post is going to be cherry blossom crk theory 2.0: Burning Spice edition lmao#watch be rant about these gods I know barely anything about but will research for hours on for the sake of cookies#also I know my au idea series is on number nine#but the list is actually on 26 now#i'll get to transferring all that eventually :'D#volition gets six arms#change is a living furnace#imagine have the sun inside your chest#not very fun#he's also a user of solar magic#which is the next planned for Knowledge's lessons in magic series#it's already done actually#i just need to decide whether or not I want to make it look like dnd pages like I did with healing magic
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wait have i ever posted yuusha’s png-
bye putting their sprites together like this is so hdhdhhddjb
#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst yuu#twst yuusona#twst oc x canon#jamil x yuu#(💜) yuusha#(💜) currynoodles#-✦—]#i was STRUGGLING on how i was going to put her next to jamil#WHY are you floating like that jamil helpp#anyways i’m not 100% happy with this bc i barely render anything-#BUT i still love it a lot more than i’m unsatisfied with it#because it'll be a long time since i'll do something similar to this ever again LMAO#also i really want to commission someone who could do the twst style 😭#but i’ve never commissioned people before </3#one day i will--
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in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#also that's really interesting. with illario it's clearly not ever meant to wound but it serves a similar function of 'hey fuck off'#they have that friendly insult game going that veils some real resentments and conflicts that perhaps. should have been dealt with#considering that you could hardly find two people less alike in fundamental character than davrin and illario... fascinating#I suppose both of them push past lines of comfort and don't really let up at subtler signals to back off#(illario to needle and davrin mostly because he's that straightforward I think haha)#but the sheer viciousness with which lucanis responds makes me think there could mayhaps be some resentment with that dynamic#that he won't let out with illario himself b/c he has so few interpersonal relationships and wouldn't risk disrupting one#even when illario is getting up to some Shit even outside of the whole betrayal thing#and davrin is sooo uninterested in doing anything but call 'em as he sees 'em and it's glorious haha#it also means that I think lucanis is more honest in those banters than he is with anyone else I've seen#including the fact that he's mad and that the ossuary really did suck that bad actually#with bellara he's like 'don't worry about me I'm fine *thousand yard stare*' and with davrin he goes 'yeah I'm haunted forever by it.#does that satisfy your curiosity' lmao. and then they're just trading barely veiled death threats for a while#davrin is confrontational but he's also a safe person to be angry with b/c I think at the end of the day he is also fair#many thoughts. all the time. all veilguard up in my neurons 24/7
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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[this post has been edited]
boom! my fav characters trend i saw on tiktok. feel free to use the format as a tag game or anything you like


#nobu.nobu.chat#ye thats me#ehe#tho that was taken like what? 2 or 3 months ago?#i barely take pics of myself or anything rlly#im like a ghost lmao#would only occasionally appear once in a blue moon to show my face on a pic#also my blade hair dye faded out😔
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"Eh. You'd be surprised. My-" He hesitates for a second. Fuck it, if he might be dead who really cares. "-partner. has been... gone for a while. I mean there have been a handful of people I've interacted with but no new..." He stops himself from saying projects. Wight shakes his head, this conversation was going fairly poorly. "Nothing interesting. I mostly just mope around and hope for something exciting nowadays."
hiiiii. been reading through ur au shenanigans and now i kinda wanna get involved....not sure who should interact tho...kinda wanna make powerless go bother wight again, kinda wanna introduce a new guy....or neither of ur not interested
HEGEHHE...... STARES AT YOU WITH MY SOPPING WET AUTUSM EYES IM DOWN FOR ANYTHING :)
#au shennanigans#you know when you pick up hot tea not realizing how hot it is. yeah#also. what has been happening to wight ???? ive definitely missed something#<- i do know that feeling..........#ALSO. JUST. SO MUCH ACTUALLY.#but also barely anything LMAO#wisperer (who he had homoerotic murder moments with) went back to his own universe (maybe unwillingly) and wight jsut found out he was tryi#to bait his version of ashe into killing him for good. and wight had a mild breakdown on hackers floor. basically immmediately before *this#conversation GIGGLES#and also immeadilty before talking to hacker was the silly little wight and mechanic snippet i posted........#HES BASICLALY JSUT HAD AN EVENTFUL AFTERNOON
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🪷 The Lotus Flower in Mysterious Lotus Casebook 🪷
i. Growing Deep Roots
As noted by difeisheng, Li Xiangyi is an image more than he is a person. He’s the “symbol” and “beating heart” of the Sigu sect; “he embodies everything [the sect] stands for” and “has become one with every person he represents” in his role as a leader. As such, one might say he doesn’t exist as an individual who’s allowed the luxury of flawed, fluid humanity. Rather, he’s fixed into an object: a shield protecting those under his care, a mirror reflecting those he’s taken upon himself to be the champion for.
While a heavy burden to carry, this identity as image is also shown to be brittle, hollow, like a hazy mirage which is more dazzling appearance than substance. Even Fang Duobing introduces Li Xiangyi to Li Lianhua by showing him a painting of his shifu — ink on a page, a person turned into a hero to be worshipped and idolated.
Li Lianhua, over the ten years that pass after the Great Battle of the East Sea, works to plant and cultivate a new identity in the same way one might grow flowers. Li Lianhua forms deep roots and grows out of the mythical hero’s shell he’d been carrying as Li Xiangyi, thus developing an identity which is solid and grounding in contrast — an identity which involves “walk[ing] within a crowd instead of [soaring] above it.”
This shift from image to person is itself rooted in the lotus mantra (written by Buddhist Layman Pang during the Tang Dynasty) which Li Xiangyi first encounters after monk Wu Liao rescues him:
一念心清净 莲花处处开
The heart attains peace with a single thought; Lotus flowers bloom all around.
Although the exact timeline is left to interpretation, it’s implied that the lotus mantra operates as a catalyst of change for Li Xiangyi and that he changes his name to Li Lianhua after reading it. Now what is it about it that speaks to Li Xiangyi so deeply in that moment? As noted in 《 人間福報 》, the lotus mantra teaches us that a pure heart will result in an open and enlightened mind. One subtle, profound thought rife with compassion is enough for a person to glimpse Buddha in a flower, a leaf, a grain of sand or a speck of dust. In short, “if you can find peace within yourself, then you will find peace everywhere.” Perhaps Li Xiangyi, at his lowest point, finds solace in the prospect of stripping his life down to its very core and searching for purity, wisdom and peace within his troubled heart.
By renaming himself 莲花/liánhuā lotus flower, Li Lianhua takes his destiny into his own hands; he empowers himself into reshaping his identity and laying down the foundations for the person he wants to become. Similarly to The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity which tells us that “names are the shortest spells in the world,” Li Lianhua’s new name functions as a spell which speaks a new him into existence. It’s a deliberate choice, a conscious attempt at breaking free from the suffocating shell Li Xiangyi was trapped in and become a person of his own choosing.
The act of (re)naming notably also extends to Li Lianhua’s abode which he dubs 莲花楼 “Lotus Tower.” In addition to this significant choice of name, it’s interesting to note that Li Lianhua starts growing vegetables inside Lotus Tower when he’s left with nothing after his demise at the East Sea and is facing starvation. As such, his home is quite literally a site not only of self-sustenance and survival, but also of growth — a growth which requires hard work, patience and faith and nearly brings Li Lianhua to tears when his hopes are finally rewarded and the seeds he planted begin sprouting. The act of physically planting vegetables and learning to cook those vegetables speaks of a refreshing and grounding simplicity — of something disarmingly vulnerable and human after playing the role of a god-like figure. Li Lianhua has sweat on his brow and hope in his heart; he plants seeds, watches them grow and keeps himself alive by his own hands.
It seems it’s not only Li Lianhus’a home, but also his very person, which steadily grow into a lotus flower. Li Lianhua wears a variety of hairpins directly linked to the lotus, and the colour coding of his garments moves from the red he used to wear as Li Xiangyi to a lighter palette filled with greens and blues — colours which are more obviously linked to nature.
ii. Life Borrowed and Given Away
The lotus, both traditionally and within the drama itself, is closely connected to the theme of rebirth. On a literal level, the exotic lotus flowers of Cai Lian Manor grow directly from the corpses of the victims drowned in the pond, thus embodying life born from death. thawrecka writes in their story that Li Lianhua is “nothing but a lotus nurtured by a walking corpse, a body that doesn’t realise it should already be dead.” On a figurative level, the lotus grows in muddy water but blooms unsullied every morning, thus symbolising rising from a dark place and growing into something beautiful and colourful despite all the odds. The different stages of the lotus’ blooming can be taken to represent the beginning, middle and end of a spiritual path in Buddhism — a parallel to the theme of 趟/tāng taking a journey which underscores the drama in various ways.
Li Lianhua’s journey, more specifically, is that of a lotus being reborn. The soundtrack piece 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” emphasises this connection in the following lines:
问一句莲花的悲喜 断一柄弃剑入青泥
I ask about the joys and sorrows of the lotus; A broken, abandoned sword is thrown into the mud.
Not only does Li Lianhua keep stressing at different points of the drama that Li Xiangyi is dead and all that is left behind is Li Lianhua; he even breaks his own sword Shaoshi at the end of the story, thereby physically reenacting a process of destruction—death—and rebirth. As Li Lianhua writes in his farewell letter:
剑断人亡
My sword is broken, and I will be gone.
The significance of Li Lianhua’s action is further intensified here by the fact that the sword in the song is said to be thrown into 泥/ní mud, the site from which a lotus flower grows.
Considering that Shaoshi operates as a device embodying Li Lianhua’s character development throughout the drama, the fact that Li Lianhua decides to break it in the last episode should be taken as a key moment in which he chooses how his own narrative is going to end. Li Lianhua decides to kill for good the glorious image of Li Xiangyi which has become sullied with pain and regret in his heart, so that a simple, fragile peace can begin growing in its place like a lotus flower amidst the mud.
However, the tragedy of Li Lianhua’s narrative is that the rebirth he works to achieve for all these years is not his own to enjoy and never was intended to be. After the Great Battle of the East Sea, as Li Lianhua is reborn from Li Xiangyi and starts planting seeds all around him, he has already accepted that he’s nothing but a ghost, “wandering in the jianghu to close his loose ends and finally [...] vanish without a trace, not even a body left behind.” As mx-myth remarks, even the shift in his garment colours to an overwhelming amount of white as the story progresses makes it clear that he’s resigned to go and has “already started dressing for his own funeral.”
The lotus flower symbolism permeating the narrative accentuates this bone-deep, unshakable resignation. While imprisoned by Jiao Liqiao, Li Lianhua is full of an aching, bittersweet fatalism when he recites a section of Guan Hanqing’s《 窦娥冤 》“The Injustice to Dou E”:
花有重开日 人无再少年 不须长富贵 安乐是神仙
Flowers will blossom again, But a man can never be young again. Seek not eternal wealth; You only need to be content.
Independently from the original meaning of the lines written by Guan Hanqing, the words seem to take on a sad, wistful quality when spoken with a bitter smile by Li Lianhua. In this scene, while the speaker reflects that rebirth occurs outside of themselves in flowers, they acknowledge that their own reality is one inevitably bound to end in old age and decay. Instead of looking forward to a bright future, the speaker doesn’t express any dreams nor ambitions and is only grateful that they’re alive this minute, this second, without any future prospects awaiting them. Perhaps a similar sentiment is reflected in the following lines from 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine”:
了了心事只 不负众生 而已
After settling my worries, I just want to live up to all sentient beings.
Li Lianhua’s connection to the lotus flower, in fact, was always meant to be one of non-attachment. While Buddhism believes desire to be the root of all suffering, the lotus symbolises non-attachment due to being “rooted in mud (attachment and desire)” while “its flowers blossom on long stalks unsullied by the mud below.” This explains in part why the lotus is considered pure and noble. For Li Lianhua, this non-attachment takes on sorrowful connotations: it means that he stubbornly refuses to reap the seeds he sows and focuses his purest heart and will into ensuring those around him get to reap them instead. Non-attachment means allowing himself enough (a roof over his head, food on his plate) to survive, but rarely letting himself indulge in the precious luxuries of reciprocated love and care — of carefree joy and thirst for adventure.
The ten years he lives after his first death at the East Sea are, for him, only borrowed time he didn’t deserve — borrowed time not dedicated to himself, but rather dedicated to others.
In many ways, Li Lianhua’s path effectively goes full-circle by the end of the narrative. When he and Di Feisheng reminisce about the moon they remember from ten years ago, they conclude that today’s moon isn’t any brighter than the one alive in their memory: rather, it remains constant, unchanged, as though the past ten years never existed as anything other than a short pause in the story, a coma, long enough for wrongs to be righted but not for an already-dead person’s fate to be changed.
It’s interesting and particularly significant that the Styx flower (忘川花, from 忘川 “River of Forgetting” in the original Mandarin) is said throughout the drama to be the only thing capable of saving Li Lianhua’s life. In traditional Chinese culture, the Styx or River of Forgetting is part of the process of reincarnation; only by crossing it (and forgetting everything they’ve ever experienced and everyone they’ve ever loved) can a person finally reincarnate. For Li Lianhua, salvation through rebirth comes at a high cost — a price he’s evidently been ready to pay since the beginning, even if it means turning him into a ghost who must vanish from the story in order for those around him to grow and thrive further.
When Li Lianhua breaks his own sword to allow for rebirth, it’s not himself he’s saving. His sole purpose throughout his journey as Li Lianhua is to use whatever meagre strength he has left, whatever passion and drive are still alive in him, to save the world in any small ways that he can. He becomes a doctor who heals people; he looks for answers and solves mysteries to atone for the sins he thinks he has committed and rectify the mistakes he thinks he has made, so that those he has hurt can finally find peace and comfort.
The most powerful legacy Li Lianhua intends to leave behind by the end of the story has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with the people around him who he never truly admits he loves — the messy, imperfect world that’s caused him so much pain but that he nevertheless insists on saving with everything he has.
Most strikingly, Li Lianhua chooses—whether consciously or not—to leave the life and future he’s renounced for himself to his companions Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. The only traces he purposefully leaves behind live in them: in the Yangzhouman coursing through Fang Duobing’s body; the home, dog and recipe book he passes onto him; the worthy opponent he leaves for Di Feisheng to fight in his stead after he’s gone…
Fang Duobing, by the end of the story, has grown into more than a disciple and a friend to Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua: he himself has become the lotus flower bringing renewed life after Li Lianhua has left the narrative, thereby taking Li Lianhua’s legacy into a hopeful, vibrant future. As mx-myth mentions in their colour analysis, Fang Duobing notably wears bright pastel tones including a large amount of green/blue — a colour coding which emphasises Fang Duobing’s connection to spring and, by extension, new life and beginnings. “Life will always go on if there’s spring”; and so Fang Duobing’s youth, vitality and optimism can grow in the empty space left behind by Li Lianhua after he fades into the autumn of his life.
While Li Lianhua’s predominantly light colour palette might appear to align him with other characters in the drama who have left the past behind and are looking towards the future, Li Lianhua made peace long ago with the knowledge that he’s destined not to belong in that future. Just as the Lotus Sutra teaches us that “the inner determination of an individual has great transformative power” and “gives ultimate expression to the infinite potential and dignity inherent in each human life,” Li Lianhua focuses all his transformative efforts on creating a future which, despite having no place for him, will be fertile ground for the entire martial arts world to grow deep, healthy roots. In Li Lianhua’s own words:
幼芽生枝 新木长成 武林也一样 这未来如何 谁又能说得清楚呢
The young sprouts and the new trees grow. The martial arts world is the same. What does the future hold? Who can say clearly?
Should we say, then, that Li Lianhua’s story is one of sacrifice, self-renunciation and resignation — of drifting inevitably towards death as a flower carried by a stream? As he disappears on a boat and is asked where he’s going, Li Lianhua gives a response which echoes his first death at the East Sea in a way that feels entirely deliberate:
小舟从此逝, 江海寄余生
From now on I would vanish with my little boat; For the rest of my life on the sea I would float.
How are we to understand a person being reborn simply so they can pass on that new life to others, and being convinced that their only true value lies in their death?
Perhaps, in spite of it all, we can find some small comfort in the knowledge that, no matter how sorrowful Li Lianhua’s fate, it’s at least one that he chooses — one that he has full control over, even poisoned and robbed of his life force as he is. As the lyrics of 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” underline, “it’s just a matter of picking an ending that you like.” Perhaps that’s all that truly matters.
wuxia-vanlifer makes an excellent point when asking: “What would be more tragic? That he never believed he was loved? Or that he did, but vanished anyway?” While I don’t have an answer to offer, there’s one thing I can say. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua — they live and die by love. They can’t conceive of themselves as anything other than a sacrificial tool because, for all that they pretend to be aloof and untethered, they actually love others—and the world—in a bone-deep, profound way they’ve never loved themselves. That love is not only the true driving force behind Li Lianhua’s character and the fate he chooses: it’s the beating heart of the entire drama.
“In this life, I have loved and I have been loved. That is enough.”
Shoutout to the following authors and bloggers whose brilliant words and ideas inspire me, as well as this gorgeous video 💖
ao3: @extraordinarilyextreme @thawrecka
tumblr: @difeisheng @extraordinarilyextreme @mx-myth @wuxia-vanlifer @xinyuehui
#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#li lianhua#li xiangyi#cheng yi#fang duobing#di feisheng#it's sad nerd hours lmao 💕 now we can all suffer together 😘#i'd apologise for shamelessly referencing yym every chance i get even when it's barely relevant but.... well i won't 😌💅#also - please tell me if you notice errors or inconsistencies in any of my points ✨#although i'm always very thorough with my research i don't have a native person's knowledge of chinese language and culture#no doubt i'll think of lots of changes and additions i want to make once this is out there ssdhds 🥴 why is publishing anything so hard??#text: mysterious lotus casebook
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one of my favorite things in teen titans is robin wearing his own mask underneath the red x mask
#i mean he obviously has an identical mask underneath his own mask lets not pretend#theres a scene where cyborg pulls him back hy the cape or something and they have like#that effect where the mask kind of stays floating in the air for a second and i pausit and he just had those#like round whites with a black outline#which is how they draw him comically sometimes#i literally don't remember if there's a moment where the mask is even mentioned in tt sorry#don't tell me I'm rewatching i barely remember anything so this is very fun#i di remember my favorite bits tho#so the red x and the apprentice episodes but that's all i think lmao#also i used to be so focused on robin when i was watching this as a kid#but rn im also appreciating the other characters as well though i hate all the#romance teasing this show has uh I don't see it i like robin and star as friends so much tho#i REALLY like robin and cyborg here tho they're awesome here for some reason hehehehee :]
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i would put both but like i wanna see peoples opinion (i would pick both)


#i kinda wanna watch singing in the rain again#i’m thinking about what logan would’ve been like if erik was also there#extra angst forreal#two really old guys being sappy and sad with eachother#i wonder if erik would die before or after charles in the movie#it should be after cause i need pain rn damn#imagine if erik was there in the room when x-24 killed charles but he wasn’t strong enough to stop the metal#DAMN I NEED TO READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS BUT THERES BARELY ANYTHING#would erik need a walker or something#he would be really old#lmao magneto with one of those walkers with the tennis balla on em#thinking about phantom of the opera#cherik in it too#but not really#roul is so much better for christine just saying#is that how you spell his name? idk#love erik (phantom) but maybe take a chill pill bro#imma read more fanfics about old guys getting together now#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#x men#magneto#professor x#x comics#xmcu
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me when somone likes my duke and virgil post:
#im barely even joking i gotta know whos on the same wavelength as me yk?#duke and virgil are such niche characters i can recongize most of the people interacting with their content LMFAO#i have a lot of thought about them so maybe ill do some headcannons if i get to it#i also just found out people ship them as a couple??? which i didnt know#not that i think its bad or anything i just fr didnt know LMAO#duke thomas#the signal#dc#dc comics#batman#the signal dc#virgil hawkins#static shock dc#static#static shock#static dc
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well this was objectively the funniest ending to the night and i'm genuinely laughing my ass off at the absurdity
#avs lb#pens lb#oilers lb#leafs lb#canucks lb#HOW DID LITERALLY ALL OF YOU LOSE WHAT THE FUCK LMAO#WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TEAMSSSSSSSS#and the fact that they all lost in the most weirdly dramatic way too like???#the avs lost by failing to be the comeback kings and mikko had a wasted hatty (justice for my man rn btw wtf)#the pens lost with incredible precision (honestly predictable) and the oilers lost THE SAME WAY??? (not predictable at all?? wake up? win?)#and the leafs lost by barely anything but in a way that they also managed to not score at all#then the canucks blew a 4-1 lead only to come back and force a 5-5 ot and lose#long pause and sigh#genuinely how. like. i'm at a loss for words this was wild guess it's time for everyone to go 81-1!!! 😭
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more for the garashir fairytale grab bag AU I am never going to actually write: garak knows exactly what would break his curse from the start, he just never tells anyone for the longest time b/c he's so sure it could never happen
(it's asking forgiveness, of course. he thinks it's tain's forgiveness he needs, and tain is fucking dead and knew he would be by the time garak woke up so it seems the perfect unbreakable parting fuck-you revenge curse. and garak would expect nothing less from his father than that, so he's resigned to dwindling away painfully. enter julian bashir and his fierce force-of-nature compassion (and also secret illicit immense magical powers) with a steel chair!!! to go 'OH YEAH??? we'll see about that', as you might expect. oh. OH necromancer-ish julian calling tain's ghost up to ask him about what the hell he did and how to undo it, ala his gambit to go see him the wire? and the knowledge he gains from that is what confirms garak's suspicions as to what is Up with this handsome young healer mage because it could be known only by those long dead. cue east of the sun west of the moon part of the narrative once julian understands his game is up and runs away??
anyway getting some true love's kissing in by the end of it all is just a nice bonus it's not needed like strictly magically for either of their situations lol)
#garashir#star trek#ds9#star trek ds9#elim garak#julian bashir#the sleeping beauty part is an entirely separate curse btw. tain really wanted that shit to pile up lol#I wonder what fucked up thing you'd do to Julian magically to be the equivalent of genetic engineering#splicing something into his soul maybe? turning him into a wildly powerful but 'dangerous' kind of sorcerer in the process?#something about violating his innermost essence at least that's kind of the thematic significance of it#people pointing at him after the reveal going 'THOSE ARE DARK LORD POWERS YOU FREAK' and he's like#'*barely holding back tears of frustration and exhaustion* I just wanna be a lil healer main can you guys fucking let me live....'#maybe like... when you've cracked someone's soul open once it's considered a sanctity breached or something. anything could get in#maybe ds9 is like... the cardassian ruin where they find garak sleeping (yeah I'm doing an sga/howl's moving castle thing in my head)#he still claims he's just a simple tailor upon being woken up and getting the castle to fly them out of danger. of course.#he also still hates the place as much as he did in the show it was considered a shitty backwater place to be stationed back in the day#guys. I think I am cooking but unfortunately I'm perpetually burnt out I don't have enough fuel to make anything of it lmao
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I think everyone who acts like this needs to shut the fuck up forever
#how dare you have a netflix subscription when that 13 bucks couldve gone to someone suffering#clearly you care more about your shows than people being bombed#how dare you buy anything thats not essential every penny you have must go to a poor person or youre a bad person#also if you wish death upon people for that shit you are not the normal one#youre fucking deranged actually#we must live in bare bones poverty by choice with nothing on the walls and eat off one plate with one fork and knife#you can live off ramen noodles so buying any other food is bad because you arent donating it#i could go on and on about why this mentality is fucking stupid lmao
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